Pete Holmes and Bobby have a Heated Rivalry

Comedian Pete Holmes joins and survives Bobby’s topic tornado. We chat rivalry tension, male erotica, rabbits, Seinfeld stories, Jeff Bridges impressions, box-of-chocolates wisdom, co-sleeping debates, Ojai living, the philosophy of laughter, and who's Sydney Sweeney. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly https://www.shopify.com/tigerbelly Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/p06g4a8g #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with code TIGERBELLY, and start spinning! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:59Bobby Lee?

  Hi, I'm Bobby Lee, and I created a graphic novel with my friend Matthew here. It's called Deadweight. Look at how beautiful this is.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:06Bobby Lee?

  Wow, amazing. Dude, this looks great. Look at that. Oh my God, dude. You can get it everywhere books are sold. Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and gunnerbooks.com.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  It's rated R Kung-Fu Panda meets Kick-Ass.

• 1:19Bobby Lee?

  It's from my heart. And so, please check it out.

• 1:49Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing?

• 1:49Speaker 02

  I just think it's kind of a lot of flexing going on.

• 1:52Bobby Lee?

  There's no flexing. What is flexing?

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Playing a piano I can't hear and you're like, you're getting your headphones.

• 1:55Bobby Lee?

  Well, yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Why don't you say, put on your headphones?

• 1:58Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Hmm?

• 1:59Bobby Lee?

  I wrote you a song.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Here it is.

• 2:02Bobby Lee?

  Play it first and I'll...

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Here it is. Here it is. Have you ever taken a shot?

• 2:09Bobby Lee?

  I worked before.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Here it is. Here it is. Doogie Howser. Da na, play it again. Da na na na na na na na.

• 2:22Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Da na na na na na.

• 2:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't know it. I don't know it.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  I didn't know Dicky Hauser. Everyone knows him.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  You just played it, bro.

• 2:31Bobby Lee?

  You know how white people, um...

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 2:34Bobby Lee?

  You know how white people, their lips? He has no borders. It's like, the colors of your lips is like the same of your face. I like...

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I don't understand.

• 2:41Bobby Lee?

  I love when white people have borders.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Border?

• 2:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Borders around your lip?

• 2:44Speaker 03

  I think borders.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  I, I go to doctors without borders.

• 2:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you do?

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  I have a border.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  He has a very clear border. What are you talking about?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  What, do you want me to use a pencil? Do you want me to outline it like the 90s?

• 2:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Two, three, four.

• 3:00Bobby Lee?

  (singing) With my shiny nails. Are you making fun of my nails? Making fun of my nails?

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Shiny nails.

• 3:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're attacking me.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Oh, boundary, boundaryless lips.

• 3:10Bobby Lee?

  That's an observation.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Nails that were freshly removed from a vagina.

• 3:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Oh, is that the look you want?

• 3:17Bobby Lee?

  Is that the look you want?

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 3:19Bobby Lee?

  No lips.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Third base?

• 3:21Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you this.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sorry, second base?

• 3:23Bobby Lee?

  The Joker has fucking borders, dude.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  The Joker has borders?

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Joker's without borders.

• 3:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of borders. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Are you going Joaquin on me?

• 3:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're Joaquin.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  I don't recognize the Joaquin.

• 3:36Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um, what's your fucker? Yeah, yeah, right. (singing) Na na na na na na na na na na na. No, no, I don't know the last.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  Did he write me a song?

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  That was it. Anyway, um, how, how come you've never done our podcast before?

• 3:50Speaker 02

  I don't know, man.

• 3:51Bobby Lee?

  Do you guys have a history of beef or no?

• 3:53Speaker 02

  We do have a lot of beef.

• 3:55Bobby Lee?

  Ah. Well, um, what, describe beef.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Let's start there. You know when you're eating udon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, really?

• 4:05Speaker 02

  How's the Asian?

• 4:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 4:07Speaker 02

  How's the Asian vibe here?

• 4:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's 100% Asian vibes here, dude. Yeah, when you're eating meatloaf, does that feel good?

• 4:14Speaker 02

  It does.

• 4:15Bobby Lee?

  You piece of shit.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  It does.

• 4:16Bobby Lee?

  You piece of shit. Piece of shit. Anyway, um, Pete Holmes is here. He was on a TV show called Crashing. He had specials.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Why haven't I done the show before?

• 4:29Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Have you been invited before?

• 4:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, you never asked. Wow. It goes both ways. Wow. And that's, that's one of the, um, lessons that we have to learn as a society. Things go both ways.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  We live in a society.

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  I'm happy to be here.

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, although, um, I have to say, um...

• 4:49Speaker 02

  And then you're just quiet.

• 4:50Bobby Lee?

  That I, no, but no, no, I have to say.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  I'm really compelled.

• 4:52Bobby Lee?

  I have to say that I bet I started a show and I burned through it. It's a pretty good show.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  What, crashing?

• 4:58Bobby Lee?

  No, it's called Heated Rivalry. Have you seen it?

• 5:00Speaker 02

  I watched.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm so glad you finally succumbed.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  And can I just say this?

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Secame.

• 5:05Bobby Lee?

  He came. After watching.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  You succumbed so hard.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  I succumbed so hard. And after watching the show, you know what I can conclude?

• 5:11Speaker 03

  You're gay?

• 5:11Speaker 02

  You're straight.

• 5:12Bobby Lee?

  I might not be gay. You might not? I might not be gay. Why?

• 5:15Speaker 03

  You might not be gay.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Well, you thought you were gay going in?

• 5:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, maybe. I was on the fence. There's rumors. Yeah, yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Well, the first scene, the first 10 minutes of it, how did you feel?

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  Um, well, they don't show the penis, which is kind of cool.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  They are experts at the bended knee, okay? That whole show is a masterclass in hiding the, hiding the flaps.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  Good camera work.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  Great knee work.

• 5:36Bobby Lee?

  Good knee work, yeah, yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Lot of, but there's a lot of slurping.

• 5:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and there's a lot of like, you know, here's my thigh.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 5:42Bobby Lee?

  And then the head here, right?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:45Bobby Lee?

  So you can't really see, you know what I mean?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  But, um.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Does it get better? I've only seen the pilot.

• 5:51Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Does it get better?

• 5:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it gets, here's what.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  I don't believe, yeah, that, that.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  It's steamy.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  But.

• 5:57Bobby Lee?

  But there's no other point to it.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  That's what I'm feeling.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Wait, that's not true. I think from a girl's perspective, it's a little bit different. I think there's a lot of like real romance that we feel and a lot of like, ooh, we.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Will they, will they, won't they?

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, and my sister watched the last episode yesterday.

• 6:11Bobby Lee?

  But they are fucking.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Will they keep doing that?

• 6:13Speaker 03

  And she was like, I cried so hard at the last episode.

• 6:16Bobby Lee?

  No, be, like, be, like, I think the anticipation is, will they?

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Won't they?

• 6:21Bobby Lee?

  Will they become lovers for life?

• 6:23Speaker 03

  For life.

• 6:24Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 6:24Speaker 02

  I don't, I'm not.

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  In the beginning, in the beginning, it was like, they're hooking up.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  And because of all the social, you know, I mean, things that they have to avoid.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:33Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? It's very difficult.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Look, you ever have someone explain a show and in your heart, you're like, that's an amazing show?

• 6:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  And you watch it and it's just not, it's not the show's fault, just not what you thought it was gonna be.

• 6:44Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  I thought it was gonna establish this rivalry. It really is, and I like the show.

• 6:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Glossing over this potential to really show them playing the game.

• 6:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  They just told us they have a rivalry.

• 6:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I want to see the rivalry.

• 6:59Bobby Lee?

  I want to see the rivalry.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Checking into each other, being like, fuck you bitch. They're just like fucking right away.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  My favorite scene was, you know, the, the water bottle. I won't do it because I'm, I'm just getting over somebody. You know, the touching.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  I like sexual tension.

• 7:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I'm into that. That's not just for the ladies. So I was enjoying that, but there isn't. There isn't enough. I was like, male competition and sexuality is so similar.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  And I really wanted it to be an exploration of that. And then I just got like, this is just erotica.

• 7:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  It's not porn.

• 7:32Bobby Lee?

  Can I make another mission?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Udon.

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can I make another mission?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  I never saw it.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Two, three, four.

• 7:41Bobby Lee?

  He's gay for watching it.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  I'm a homosexual.

• 7:45Bobby Lee?

  I did see it. I did. I saw all of it.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  We all knew you saw it.

• 7:48Bobby Lee?

  I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  You're not that good.

• 7:50Bobby Lee?

  But, yeah, but I like that. Yeah, you're right. When they're passing the water baller and he, he kind of...

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 7:56Bobby Lee?

  That's pretty hot. Pretty hot.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  No, I know. But then they aren't going at it right away.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Are they Canadian?

• 8:01Bobby Lee?

  Takes four months.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Canadian?

• 8:02Speaker 02

  One of them is Russian, the other one's Canadian. One's Asian, one's Asian Canadian.

• 8:06Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Cajun.

• 8:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. No, let me just say something. Not Asian.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  He's not Asian?

• 8:12Speaker 03

  He is half Asian. He's Wajin.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  You don't recognize the half?

• 8:17Bobby Lee?

  No, I never. I deny the half.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  You deny the half?

• 8:20Bobby Lee?

  I deny the half. Yeah, yeah.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, that you ulteriorize.

• 8:22Bobby Lee?

  Because it mixed it with your, your borderless lips.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  My borderless lips were borderless on the globe as well.

• 8:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I deny that half then.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 8:30Bobby Lee?

  When I see Keanu, I deny it.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  No, but Keanu ain't trying for you.

• 8:35Bobby Lee?

  What are you...

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Keanu's fine not being in your... He's in his own category.

• 8:39Bobby Lee?

  I guess you're right.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  He's a category of...

• 8:40Bobby Lee?

  You're right, you're right, you're right, right.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  He's the Reeves.

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  He's not Asian. He's not not Asian. He's Keanu.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  But Keanu is actually Keanu and he has roots in Hawaii.

• 8:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:50Bobby Lee?

  I hate the way you say Hawaii.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  We all hated it.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  How are you supposed to say it?

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Wrong.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  You're not, and you're all, when you go and get a croissant at Starbucks, you don't ask for a croissant.

• 9:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  A croissant?

• 9:03Speaker 02

  And you go to Hawaii. You go to the Hyatt at Hawaii.

• 9:07Bobby Lee?

  But the way you say Hawaii, like as if you're Hawaiian?

• 9:09Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm not. I'm Filipino.

• 9:10Bobby Lee?

  You're not Hawaiian. Say guacamole. What?

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Guacamole.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, we don't say guacam... What are we supposed to say?

• 9:15Bobby Lee?

  George can say it. Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Guacamole.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that really bothers me.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  That's how you said Hawaii.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  I like her. Oh, wait, what about Mexico?

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Mexico, I was gonna say Mexicans.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  You're Mex- you go to Mexico.

• 9:27Bobby Lee?

  You say Mexico? You say Mexico?

• 9:29Speaker 04

  I'm a Mexico.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Why are you adding a?

• 9:32Bobby Lee?

  That's how I say it.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Mexican Coke?

• 9:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Mexico?

• 9:35Bobby Lee?

  Me- okay.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Mexico?

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  You like Mexico?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  I don't think it's that much sugar in regular.

• 9:39Bobby Lee?

  Too sugary.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Pretty much the same.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  I like Mexican Coke.

• 9:41Bobby Lee?

  You do?

• 9:41Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 9:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's the best. Tastes better for me.

• 9:44Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  I believe you, but I want you to do a taste test where it's a regular, non-Mexican Coke.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  A glass bottle.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  Guatemalan.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  And a Mexican Coke in a glass bottle, so Guatemalan Coke.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  Guatemalan Coke.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  And a Mexican Coke, same temperature. I don't know if we're gonna.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Kind of like the Pepsi Coke challenge. Do you guys remember that?

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Of course I do. I'm 46.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Why do you remember that?

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Cause I'm also 46.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  I know.

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  You, you have a Jeff Bridges.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Gotcha.

• 10:07Bobby Lee?

  Jeff Bridges. Hey, man. Ah, here's your clip, man. Do people say that? I just noticed that.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, aren't you glad you had a viral moment? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Podcasts usually be about conversation, man. Now it's just this. You're doing the dude. Ah, well. The real is me, man. Alright. What do you mean? You think there's another in chat? This is the old man. Yeah, yeah. Dude, doesn't he have, I didn't notice that before.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Also Bo.

• 10:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very good. You're good at impressions.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Well.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  You're Batman's guy.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 10:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Where are you looking when you look? Are you, are you uncomfortable?

• 10:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  You are, you give off like an uncomfortable.

• 10:51Bobby Lee?

  I did it at her.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 10:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  Do you look, which eye do you look at?

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Don't ask his eye. I won't see him the rest of the show.

• 10:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Like, when you look at someone in the face, like, where, where in their face are you looking?

• 11:02Speaker 02

  I'm looking at your right eye.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Right?

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  I think I'm looking at your left. Where do you look, Bobby?

• 11:06Speaker 02

  This is my right.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Your right eye. Oh, that, that's right.

• 11:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  I think I look at both.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  You can't, that's not. It's like a magic eye. If you look at both of my eyes, you'll see a sailboat.

• 11:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  See, that used to be clippable. Now it's gotta be, hey, man.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  I'm looking at your pointy nose. Why is it okay for you to hate on the whites? Could I say pointy nose?

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 11:32Bobby Lee?

  Don't make fun of my pointy nose. Yo, what's up? I'll show you where my pointy nose goes. Yeah, yeah. Heated rivalry. Between your cheeks. Between your cheeks, Pete Holmes. Get that knee up. Don't see the... I can't rap. And I can't rap either. Well, I also can't rap. Also, can I say this? How do you live so far? Why do I live so far away? I know where you live. You can say where I live. I don't want to say. Fine. But you live very far away. I do. Why? Clearwater. Florida?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  I was like, whoa.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  No, I live about, like, two hours north of the city. Yeah. It'll take me about two hours to get home. Because every time we talk about Pete, it's like, well, how is Pete not around? Because he lives two hour away.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Do you live in... I won't say.

• 12:13Bobby Lee?

  I don't know why.

• 12:14Speaker 00

  Two hour way.

• 12:15Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I don't have an accent right now. I can't get out of it. I think it was a Hawaii thing. What?

• 12:20Speaker 03

  It's because you rejected the Wajin. You rejected the Asian from that guy, so you got punished.

• 12:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You would, you would consider him Asian?

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Yes. Wait, half Asian through Asian.

• 12:30Bobby Lee?

  He's half Korean.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Yes, he's Korean. He's Asian.

• 12:33Bobby Lee?

  Keanu's Korean?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  No, no, the guy in heated rivalry.

• 12:36Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, he's definitely age.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  He's absolutely Asian.

• 12:38Bobby Lee?

  He's age. You don't see the white in him? I see a little bit. A little bit of Korean.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Keanu Reeves is definitely Asian. I mean, that's his mom.

• 12:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  That's...

• 12:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  You can't have a mom like that in a movie.

• 12:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Is that Bobby? Oh, no, sorry, mom.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  It was his grandmother, sorry.

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  That's his grandmother. His grandmother? What does his mom look like, though?

• 12:54Speaker 00

  Oh, it's probably a white woman. Let's check.

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Wait. That's his grandmother. If that's his grandmother, his mother is at least... Half. Half age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm here to tell... He's a quarter. People invite me on shows to... Yeah, that's his mom? Okay.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Doesn't he have an older girlfriend?

• 13:08Bobby Lee?

  That's just what... No, do not... First of all, can I say something?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  What?

• 13:13Bobby Lee?

  No, no, stop.

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  What's up?

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Shouldn't get so close to piano.

• 13:22Bobby Lee?

  All we should do is just be noises.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, just getting ready to rap.

• 13:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  I need more Bobby Lee in my headphones.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. How'd you do that?

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:32Bobby Lee?

  Yo, ticker, ticker, ticker. Ooh, let's just move on. Oh, let's move on from it. Whoa, what did I say?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 13:42Bobby Lee?

  You said tiga, tiga, tiga? Tiga, tiga.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought you were promoting a social media.

• 13:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up?

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Nothing, I'm, I'm listening.

• 13:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why, why are you smiling?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Why are you smiling?

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  I don't know why you're smiling.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  No, you're up to something.

• 13:53Bobby Lee?

  You're up to something, but no good.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  I am, I'm innocent.

• 13:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  I'm innocent.

• 13:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's up?

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Are you, his girlfriend's older.

• 14:00Bobby Lee?

  No, what I'm just gonna say to you about his girlfriend, cause some people make fun of her.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  I think she, they're the same age.

• 14:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and number one, they're the same age, right? She's a great artist.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  She's an incredible artist.

• 14:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I love her.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:10Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so if, if you say anything negative about her.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  I didn't say anything.

• 14:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna rip your eyes out. And also, let me say something, right?

• 14:16Speaker 02

  And he has the moisture to get in there.

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  You have the same look as she does anyway. You have the same look as she does anyway, right?

• 14:22Speaker 03

  What does that mean if it's not me?

• 14:24Bobby Lee?

  Because you have bunny rabbits at home.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  So?

• 14:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is my bunny when I see people with bunnies.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Do you have bunny rabbits?

• 14:29Bobby Lee?

  He has three.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  I've got three.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Oh, sweet.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  I have rabbits too.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Do you really?

• 14:33Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 14:33Speaker 03

  How many do you have?

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Why are you not booking me for things? Cause it's a commute.

• 14:38Bobby Lee?

  That's what it is.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Let me say no. Let me say. Don't say I'm no.

• 14:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  I drive in, do a set at the store, go home.

• 14:45Bobby Lee?

  I understand that.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  I'm the fuck, shit, bro.

• 14:47Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you live so far, I never asked.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  That's on you.

• 14:50Bobby Lee?

  That's on you.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  It's on you.

• 14:52Bobby Lee?

  It's on you, cause you live so far. You live so far.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Ah! No, no, I took it to the bridge.

• 14:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're gonna go back different?

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Ah!

• 15:01Bobby Lee?

  How about this?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 15:02Bobby Lee?

  Makes no sense.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  Audience. People listening, it's like.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 15:10Bobby Lee?

  It or not.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  I, you know, it was a nightmare, what, sorry.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  How many?

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Bunnies, and I wanna talk about bunnies. But I do wanna say, as someone who did wanna get out of the city. Which is in, you know, it's in the, it's in the ether, people think about it. One of the reasons you wouldn't do it is what you're saying. So that's a nightmare, that people are like, oh, I wouldn't think to have Pete on the podcast, cause I don't want him.

• 15:30Bobby Lee?

  To drive that far.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a weird.

• 15:33Bobby Lee?

  That's not weird.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  It's not weird, but.

• 15:34Bobby Lee?

  It's weird to go out there.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  I will.

• 15:36Bobby Lee?

  It's weird to even be out there.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Wrong.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  So now, that's why I asked.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  I get it.

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 15:41Speaker 04

  I get why you'd be that far out there, especially if you have...

• 15:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wait, explain then.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Because if he, if you're a person like me who has rabbits, he probably likes his space. He's a little bit more introverted, likes his little area where he can be a little less into the city. Yeah, what, are you nuts? He goes to creation, he's obviously holistic. Hell, yeah.

• 15:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:01Bobby Lee?

  If you want to go there, let's go there, I'll tell you another thing.

• 16:04Speaker 04

  Why are you being so mean to me right now?

• 16:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm not being, okay, all right, you know, I know that you've had things at your house and you've invited Santino. I guess we're not that close.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  I only like gingers.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Get that fire, Bush, he can't hide what he's got.

• 16:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Because it glows.

• 16:20Bobby Lee?

  So anyway, so you live out there...

• 16:21Speaker 02

  God highlighted his dick.

• 16:22Bobby Lee?

  You, you, you, you want...

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  Picture this, it's late at night, you're scrolling through your feeds, when all of a sudden you see it, oh my god, that one product that you've been looking for, you click on the link, add to cart, maybe even shop around a little bit more, before finally hitting checkout. As you're filling it in your address, you realize you don't have your card anywhere near you. That's when you see it, that purple pay button, that has all your information saved, making checking out as simple as a simple lap of your screen. Tap of your screen, I mean.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Cool. Lap of your screen?

• 17:14Bobby Lee?

  Simple tap of your screen.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  Making checking out as simple as a simple tap of your screen.

• 17:18Bobby Lee?

  Not lap, but tap. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, and 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like Red Bull, Skims, etc., Hines, to brands just getting started.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  Like us.

• 17:33Bobby Lee?

  We do it. We love it. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store and matches your brand's style. Accelerate your efficiency, whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  We use it on our website when we sell merch. We use all the AI tools. It makes it super easy. You don't have to be some kind of like mastermind or genius like George Kimmel to create a website. It's very easy, very user-friendly. It's time to turn those what ifs into... With Shopify today, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/tigerbelly. Go to Shopify.com/tigerbelly. That's Shopify.com/tigerbelly.

• 18:20Bobby Lee?

  Tiger Belly! Financial transactions. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded, and easily grow or manage your money on your terms.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 18:46Bobby Lee?

  Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card or Cash App Pay, you earn Green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage, higher borrow limits, and customized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop.

• 19:05Speaker 00

  Turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit cash.app slash you to learn more about this and other great features launching now.

• 19:16Speaker 05

  For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASHAPP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Cash App Green. Overdraft coverage, borrow cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

• 19:48Speaker 00

  Cash App. Cash App.

• 19:55Bobby Lee?

  So anyway, so you live out there.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  God highlighted his dick.

• 19:58Bobby Lee?

  You, you, you, you want.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Santino on blast. God highlighted your dick, he likes it so much. In a little circle around your butthole, bro.

• 20:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  I'll do some ginger stuff.

• 20:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  I'll do some ginger stuff.

• 20:12Bobby Lee?

  I'm all in ginger, man. I'm all up in that.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he's one of my best friends, I'm all up in that.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  One of.

• 20:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Who's number one?

• 20:20Bobby Lee?

  I have, I have.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Paulie Short?

• 20:22Speaker 04

  God.

• 20:22Bobby Lee?

  No, no.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  The Lord?

• 20:24Bobby Lee?

  No, um, if you wanna know, you don't know this person, but Gene Hong is one of my best friends.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  You don't know who I know?

• 20:29Bobby Lee?

  You know, who's Gene Hong?

• 20:30Speaker 02

  I hung with hung ho. I'm always with the hung.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Ding ding.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  He hung. Hung. The hung and the horn. Wanna hang out with the hung, spang?

• 20:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 20:42Bobby Lee?

  But, the reason why you live out there, let me guess, is because?

• 20:45Speaker 02

  What are you?

• 20:45Bobby Lee?

  Privacy?

• 20:47Speaker 02

  It's heaven.

• 20:48Bobby Lee?

  It's hea- it's heaven, too.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  When you, when you live, look. I have, I only have one bit about living outside, I live in Ojai, I live outside of the city.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Oh, you live in Ojai?

• 20:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I live in Ojai, see?

• 20:56Speaker 04

  I love Ojai.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  That's the reaction.

• 20:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  It's like.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Just love that I live up in the mountains.

• 21:01Bobby Lee?

  I'm turning this off, I'm turning this off.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Okay, turn it off.

• 21:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm turning this off right now.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, it either makes sense, or it doesn't, and a lot of people don't understand it. Like, if you moved to the country, I would think that was wrong.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  Which country, China?

• 21:13Bobby Lee?

  That's, the.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Your country, like if you moved to the cu- your.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 21:20Bobby Lee?

  That was crazy.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  That was not, I didn't.

• 21:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cuz I'm not Chinese.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  I know.

• 21:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  We all know.

• 21:24Bobby Lee?

  What am I?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  The different kinds.

• 21:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what, what am I?

• 21:28Speaker 04

  Korean.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  You don't even wanna know how Korean you are.

• 21:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, well, I know how Korean I am.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  South Koreans.

• 21:33Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  You've got Seoul.

• 21:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Pusan.

• 21:37Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  I named the place in.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that was crazy.

• 21:39Bobby Lee?

  Why'd you say China?

• 21:40Speaker 04

  I didn't say it.

• 21:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you did.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 21:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  She meant like, di- plates.

• 21:44Speaker 04

  China.

• 21:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  Plates and silverware.

• 21:46Bobby Lee?

  We had some good Chinese food, huh?

• 21:48Speaker 00

  Vegas.

• 21:48Bobby Lee?

  What was the place we went to?

• 21:50Speaker 00

  Washing Potato.

• 21:51Bobby Lee?

  We went to the Washing Potato, dude.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  The Washing Potato?

• 21:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was probably one of the best dumplings ever had.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  Off the strip?

• 21:57Speaker 02

  They got like a bulbous, white guy doing the dishes in the back?

• 22:00Bobby Lee?

  No, it was.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  You call him the Washing Potato?

• 22:02Speaker 00

  It felt like it was like the Food Network Iron Chef setting. Very fancy.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  Oh, kinda like a chef's table vibe?

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was really good.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  How do you guys know, how do you all, what is this?

• 22:13Bobby Lee?

  You want to describe? Yeah, what's going on? So Khalyla was my ex-girlfriend. We lived together for 10 years. Cute. Oh, I've heard of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, um, cross eyes, but I like it.

• 22:27Bobby Lee?

  Cross eyes? Was that necessary?

• 22:29Speaker 03

  He's into, he's into a very specific type of woman, which is-

• 22:33Bobby Lee?

  He thinks your eyes are cross?

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Half Asian, yeah. Half Asian with a mild cross eye.

• 22:37Bobby Lee?

  Tall, tall. We're saying your eyes are crossed?

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I, yeah.

• 22:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Apparently.

• 22:41Bobby Lee?

  This is like some weird Stockholm syndrome thing?

• 22:43Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 22:44Bobby Lee?

  Have you said it enough?

• 22:45Speaker 03

  And I just agree.

• 22:45Bobby Lee?

  You're trusting his eyesight?

• 22:48Bobby Lee?

  I'm just saying this is unreliable. Can I just say something about Asian eyes? We say the same as you. I didn't, wasn't an Asian joke. Do you? I just think it's falling apart. We say the same as you. That was an old joke. We say the same as you. It was an old joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't pin me to that. I know. If this was on, you know, would be rapping. You can't pin me to that. That was an old decrepit joke. You can do that. Go.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  I was, if our lips don't have borders, then you-

• 23:09Bobby Lee?

  Our lips have borders.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Our lips-

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  Our lips are our lips. Okay, go.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  You already know what I'm gonna-

• 23:14Bobby Lee?

  No, continue the thought. I don't know.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  You already know what I was gonna-

• 23:17Bobby Lee?

  Can I say something?

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  I shall, I know. Right? Tell me, explain. I don't know. What do you say? So if your lips don't have borders, what? What do you mean? If you were- No, no. Painting her, would you use the same color for her skin? No, don't defend her. As her lips? I, I know you're distracting for the white. Let me just say something. Finish that thought.

• 23:37Bobby Lee?

  Finally, an advocate for the white. Yeah, finish the thought.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  I said, I was thinking if you're, if you think our lips don't have borders, then your eyes don't have borders.

• 23:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  They kind of don't.

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  No, you- That's a betrayal. I don't like it.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  I'm Asian too. It's fine. Some of us don't have borders.

• 23:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your, your eyes aren't crossed, though.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Thank you, that's sweet.

• 24:01Bobby Lee?

  I mean, if they were, it'd be fine. Yeah, yeah. But come on. Why do you do death business?

• 24:06Speaker 03

  You know, you're right. He's, he's a lot more cross-eyed than me.

• 24:09Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying. Those are- He's better than- You got a beautiful girl over there. He's there. It's pretty good. Pretty good?

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Do you guys want me to grab my lip liner and put borders?

• 24:20Bobby Lee?

  We should.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Okay, let me go grab some lip liner. Yeah, see how it looks?

• 24:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I want to know how it looks. I need it. For me. You need it. Yeah, yeah. I can't visualize. Do you think your lips have borders? Oh, yeah. That's a mustache. You grew a border. Yeah, I still have a border. And that's why I grow the mustache. Yeah, to let people know. Okay. Hey, man.

• 24:46Bobby Lee?

  Pretty good, or no?

• 24:48Speaker 02

  Heated rivalry with two girls.

• 24:49Bobby Lee?

  It's two girls.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  I don't know if it would be.

• 24:51Bobby Lee?

  That'd be fun.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  That's like Sex and the City. Or no.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  They never did it.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  So, so, so anyway, let's, so Kalil is my act. We started this podcast 12 years ago. Uh, yeah, 2015. 2015.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  And do you live here?

• 25:04Bobby Lee?

  This is my house, yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:05Bobby Lee?

  Not that big enough? That's exactly what he was saying. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm not Michael Bay. Yeah, yeah, anyway, um.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  No pool?

• 25:15Bobby Lee?

  I do have a pool. I'm just kidding. I have a pool. I'm just kidding. Anyway. Look at how serious you're being. I have a pool, you know. I have a pool.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  I haven't even seen the house.

• 25:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I like Montana.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  I wanted to go and get something. It's a nice house.

• 25:27Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  When you have a podcast studio of this caliber, you think it might be just the podcast house?

• 25:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  It's really a compliment to how nice.

• 25:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but the second floor, uh, is the house.

• 25:38Speaker 04

  Here's a mirror and here's some.

• 25:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay, we're not doing that yet.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 25:41Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'm gonna get to, um.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Wow, why'd you guys break up?

• 25:45Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 25:45Bobby Lee?

  Uh.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  We're not doing that.

• 25:46Bobby Lee?

  We're not doing that, we're not doing that right now. So then Kat is a stand-up comic. She's a, works at The Comedy Store.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 25:52Bobby Lee?

  And, uh, she's a.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  The world famous?

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  Good. We think so. Yeah, what club do you prefer?

• 25:59Speaker 02

  I actually do prefer The Story and I'm not just saying that.

• 26:02Bobby Lee?

  I think you, I thi- I know. But be real. What's your favorite club in L- the LA?

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Well, I perform at Largo, does that count as a club?

• 26:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What do you like about Largo?

• 26:13Speaker 04

  I love Largo.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  See, people who don't understand Ojai don't understand Largo.

• 26:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  It's just like a self-love issue.

• 26:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Cause to me, I've, cause I played Largo many times.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:23Bobby Lee?

  To me, it seems a little.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  When the crowd is so.

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  Alitas.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, and when the crowd is so.

• 26:28Bobby Lee?

  Hi, we all went to Ivy League schools, we're part of a club.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:33Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Hey, man.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Hey, man, and when the crowd is so big, you know, if you're all the way in the back and you take your pants off, the effect isn't just.

• 26:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, it's a slam. You know what I mean? I haven't done that in a very long time.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  I know.

• 26:45Bobby Lee?

  I just shot a special, didn't get naked once, so thank you.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Not even at The Late Show?

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Really?

• 26:48Bobby Lee?

  That is true.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Not even the deleted?

• 26:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  You showed your butthole a little bit, no?

• 26:52Bobby Lee?

  No, I did not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was green room. Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:55Bobby Lee?

  In the green room, I showed my penis.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Deleted scene, deleted scene.

• 26:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's in your face. Yeah, man.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  By the way, I want to reset the tone because I love you.

• 27:03Bobby Lee?

  That's great. We're doing great.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  No, I know, but I don't want to get it twisted that I'm here to like roast you or something. It's fun to.

• 27:12Bobby Lee?

  I think I started it with the borders of. You did start.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  In fact, we could play the tape back and say, you definitely started it.

• 27:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  However, I'm very happy to be here and you're a standup comedian who performs at the world famous Comedy Store.

• 27:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  What's your full name?

• 27:25Speaker 04

  Uh, Cat Bird.

• 27:28Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  It's fantastic.

• 27:30Bobby Lee?

  Isn't that fantastic?

• 27:31Speaker 02

  I have no issues, no notes, no issues, Cat Bird.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  That's kind of an Ojai name, huh?

• 27:36Speaker 02

  It is.

• 27:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Some of the names at my daughter's school, there would be a Cat Bird there for sure.

• 27:41Bobby Lee?

  For sure, yeah, yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  I almost named my daughter Summer.

• 27:44Bobby Lee?

  Why didn't you?

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Summer Holmes.

• 27:47Bobby Lee?

  I don't understand. I don't understand. Oh, I see. I don't see it.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:50Bobby Lee?

  Explain. You gotta see it. It's a thinker. It's a thinking move.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Summer Home.

• 27:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Your summer.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Like a Airbnb, yeah.

• 27:56Bobby Lee?

  What's the one that do winter?

• 27:59Speaker 02

  People don't really have winter homes, they have summer homes.

• 28:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Aspen. They don't have homes on Aspen?

• 28:04Speaker 02

  I guess you could have a winter home.

• 28:06Bobby Lee?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  Aren't you like loaded? You're on like seven incredibly popular podcasts. Don't you know what a summer home is?

• 28:12Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 28:14Bobby Lee?

  That's another burn. Ouch.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  It's not even a burn.

• 28:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's a burn.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  No, that's really a burn.

• 28:19Bobby Lee?

  Move, what the fuck? You turned it off.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Gotta get a business manager. Nobody's telling you to invest in real estate?

• 28:29Bobby Lee?

  First of all, I have, what?

• 28:31Speaker 02

  Huh?

• 28:31Speaker 04

  I have been telling him.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:33Bobby Lee?

  No, but here's the thing that no one understands in this room, right? I have real estate, a lot.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  I do.

• 28:39Bobby Lee?

  You all right? So you're not privy to it? I don't share my fucking business with people.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  They all got sold, sorry.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  You get serious?

• 28:47Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Very funny.

• 28:48Bobby Lee?

  It's very good.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  It's very funny.

• 28:49Bobby Lee?

  I know. I have a very good.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  When I said you don't have a pool, you, I wish you could play it back.

• 28:54Bobby Lee?

  Well, it's offensive. It's offensive.

• 28:58Bobby Lee?

  You're attacking me.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  I was attacking you.

• 29:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I'm nothing.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 29:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Judd Apatow too. Oh.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Pato.

• 29:08Bobby Lee?

  Been in here, right? Has he been here? Oh, yeah. Couple times.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Great to be here. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

• 29:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  I'm a good guy.

• 29:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  I'm a good guy.

• 29:17Bobby Lee?

  You still talk to him?

• 29:17Speaker 02

  I talk to Pete every day.

• 29:19Bobby Lee?

  Pete or?

• 29:20Speaker 02

  I'm doing Judd. You think this is my voice?

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Does voice has changed? This is my Judd voice.

• 29:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Judd is actually one of my best friends.

• 29:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he's a great guy.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  There, I just Santino'd him. My best friend, John Huang.

• 29:34Bobby Lee?

  Good old.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  You don't know him?

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  You don't know him?

• 29:37Bobby Lee?

  So, um, summer home, huh?

• 29:39Speaker 02

  Summer home.

• 29:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very funny joke.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  What's her middle?

• 29:41Bobby Lee?

  You know what, if I name a kid?

• 29:43Speaker 02

  My daughter?

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Jane.

• 29:45Bobby Lee?

  So if I have a son or daughter, you know what I'm gonna name him?

• 29:48Speaker 02

  A what?

• 29:48Bobby Lee?

  Ugg.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  Boots?

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Ugly? That's actually pretty funny.

• 29:52Bobby Lee?

  Same thing. Same fun.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Stan?

• 29:53Bobby Lee?

  Same fun. Word, play on words.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Stanley.

• 29:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  I feel like there was a time at, I opened my, I was starting at in Chicago where more than one person had this joke. I'm gonna name my kid Void and just watch him try and cash a check.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  That was like a thing. Cause Hedberg was coming up. You don't get it.

• 30:10Bobby Lee?

  I don't understand. I'm trying to.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  He doesn't do wordplay.

• 30:12Bobby Lee?

  I don't do wordplay, oh yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Well, if somebody's name is Void and I write you a check.

• 30:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  I have to write Void on it.

• 30:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's funny.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  And then I give it to you, you can't cash it.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  I can't cash it.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  It says Void on it.

• 30:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's good.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  But how about the last name is like Benson, Void Benson?

• 30:25Speaker 02

  Void Benson?

• 30:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Or what about The Void, like a Marvel villain?

• 30:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Benson.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  Benson.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  And you've been doing the podcast the whole time?

• 30:33Speaker 04

  Sometimes. They don't, they don't really want me all the time.

• 30:36Bobby Lee?

  Good TV show.

• 30:37Speaker 04

  What?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Was it?

• 30:38Bobby Lee?

  Benson? Was there a show called Benson?

• 30:40Speaker 02

  It was a TV show.

• 30:41Bobby Lee?

  Was it not?

• 30:42Speaker 04

  My mom dated a guy named Benson.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Are you a one-liner comedian?

• 30:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, she is.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  No, I'm not.

• 30:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And that was fire.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  She did. His name was Benson and we always.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Seinfeld was on Benson very briefly.

• 30:55Bobby Lee?

  I heard about that story.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:57Bobby Lee?

  That's a crazy story.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  What is the story?

• 30:59Bobby Lee?

  You don't know about the story?

• 31:00Speaker 02

  There's a story?

• 31:01Bobby Lee?

  Well, I.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  What is it? A mammoth plane?

• 31:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  You don't know the story? There's a story? Tell me the story.

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  There is a story about it. I don't know if I heard it correctly, but can I try to tell you?

• 31:11Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 31:13Bobby Lee?

  I like that.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  So you're used to people bringing things up as images as you talk about them. We don't do that on my show.

• 31:19Bobby Lee?

  They're all young.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 31:20Bobby Lee?

  They're all young, you watch.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  It's fun.

• 31:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  How old do you think?

• 31:23Speaker 02

  I'm like twenty-nine.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  What's a nail twenty-nine is not quite thirty, not quite twenty-six.

• 31:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  So long, MetLife.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Poorer life crisis. What's that? You drop twenty-five cents and you feel blue, man?

• 31:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Come on, MetLife crisis.

• 31:39Bobby Lee?

  I never knew you was a-

• 31:40Speaker 02

  These are the crises. Korean today-

• 31:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Is a white guy in the eighties.

• 31:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we could do-

• 31:45Speaker 02

  So enjoy it.

• 31:45Bobby Lee?

  We could be free in that way.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Enjoy it.

• 31:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  What do you mean by that? Korean today is a white-

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Well, in the eighties, it would have been a bunch of white guys being like, and what, do an impression of him? And they'd be like, what's up, what's up? And now you're still, you're still doing that.

• 31:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  You can do it. It's your time.

• 32:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  So, you know, in twenty years.

• 32:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  All right. Who will it be?

• 32:05Bobby Lee?

  Are you stealing money from the rich and giving it to the poor, huh? Robin Hood? What the fuck?

• 32:10Bobby Lee?

  I like it. Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Kind of a Mr. Robot vibe.

• 32:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  This is my valet jacket.

• 32:15Bobby Lee?

  Hello, Zelda.

• 32:16Speaker 03

  Does it look like a valet?

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  What is going on here? What's the story?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 32:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Very hypercritical of me.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  I love that you're chilling.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  It's very pretty color.

• 32:25Bobby Lee?

  What are you, Hawkeye? What's going on here? Keep going. I'll be more- Are you running out? Are you running out? Yeah, yeah.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Green Lantern?

• 32:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  All right, Ryan Reynolds before-

• 32:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, where's your ring, Green Lantern?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, there you go.

• 32:36Bobby Lee?

  Stop looking at me. Give me more. Give me more. Yeah, anyway.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  That's it? You're done?

• 32:40Bobby Lee?

  No. Um, how's Batman, Poison Ivy?

• 32:46Speaker 03

  That was a good one. She's great.

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  Is it?

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Super hot.

• 32:49Bobby Lee?

  You want to think of some more?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:50Bobby Lee?

  Give me one. Give me one.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Hey, um, Tree? In the Beanstalk. Oh, Beanstalk.

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Hey, Tree?

• 32:58Bobby Lee?

  Hey, Tree?

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Hey, Tree.

• 32:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brown and wearing green. Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  When you're not, when you're not racist. I had a joke about Kumail on my special.

• 33:09Bobby Lee?

  Never heard of him.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Kumail Huang?

• 33:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Kumail Wong, I know. I know Kumail Wong.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Kumail Nanjiani.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Has been a friend of mine for 20 years, and when he got buff, I had a joke about-

• 33:20Bobby Lee?

  We should get him on, have we ever had him on?

• 33:22Speaker 04

  We have had him on.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  I don't know if we had. I'm trying to get this story about Benson out.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  I just had this joke where I said he looked like a horse in a medium t-shirt. Like, he got so ripped, he looked like a horse in a medium t-shirt.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  And then Neil Brennan was like, "I love that."

• 33:36Bobby Lee?

  You like him?

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. So what happened with Jerry Seinfeld and Benson?

• 33:39Bobby Lee?

  You like Neil Brennan though?

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Oh, my goodness.

• 33:40Bobby Lee?

  You like Neil Brennan?

• 33:42Speaker 02

  The story was this close to being done.

• 33:44Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  It won't be good now.

• 33:48Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  He just said-

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm sorry.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  And you're, it's funny because you're calling him brown and you won't get in trouble for it. And I was like, "I wasn't," and I cut it because I got so scared people would think I was making racist jokes. No, in a comedy context? Yeah, yeah.

• 33:59Bobby Lee?

  We have to cut that out now.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  No, we don't.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  You cut it.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  It's a story about cutting something, I have sensitivity, but-

• 34:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  But now you can finally say it and it's uncut.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Well, that's why I like to bring it up.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  It is a strong joke and it deserves a life.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 34:12Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know-

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Horse in a medium t-shirt.

• 34:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're doing fucking a Moonlight Sonata version of that?

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 34:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Okay, so what is the Benson story?

• 34:22Bobby Lee?

  What is going on here?

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Why am I hosting this show?

• 34:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  She's trying to put the borders, the borders on.

• 34:26Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay. Okay, what do you mean? I can't fucking tell the Benson story without that.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  You gotta focus.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Focus, just focus. It's gonna be quick.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  It's a nice piano.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Good sensitivity. Why are your nails so shiny?

• 34:45Speaker 02

  Why are your nails so shiny? I just wanna know why your follicles glisten

• 34:56Speaker 02

  like you just picked your nose.

• 34:59Bobby Lee?

  I'm Benson!

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 35:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow. Brought it back around.

• 35:04Speaker 02

  Wow, I liked it. What's the story?

• 35:06Bobby Lee?

  Um, I don't know if-

• 35:09Speaker 02

  Wow!

• 35:10Bobby Lee?

  That's what I like, I like that.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  I was good at that.

• 35:12Bobby Lee?

  That's what I like. Borders.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Now you look like Jennifer Coolidge.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  Will you do Jennifer Cooley?

• 35:22Speaker 02

  I thought about it. I was like, any good impression I should have of Jennifer Cooley?

• 35:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  I don't have.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I fell off that bow.

• 35:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very good.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, my ex-husband was... Oh, yeah, I love to be rammed by Italian men. Oh, yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:40Bobby Lee?

  Very good. And Clara has a very good one. Go ahead.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Ariana Grande has an incredible one.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  She does. She's so, like, weirdly talented at everything.

• 35:49Bobby Lee?

  She's so talented at everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat a sandwich. But anyway, um...

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Little skinny.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  Is that what you're saying? No. No? You're having ownership of her body?

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Bobby Lee has ownership of... Welcome to the new podcast.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  His body, his choice.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Tiger belly, where we just evaluate other people's bellies.

• 36:07Bobby Lee?

  You're right. That was weird.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  No, no, you're worried.

• 36:09Bobby Lee?

  That was not good.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Sometimes you can worry about... I think there's a way to worry about somebody in the business.

• 36:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm very worried about it.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Would you worry about her if she was very fat as well?

• 36:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I would have.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  It would be funnier, too.

• 36:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so I should have said something earlier about Karen Carpenter, but I didn't.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 36:24Bobby Lee?

  And now look what happened.

• 36:25Speaker 02

  Okay, so Benson.

• 36:26Bobby Lee?

  What happened to Benson? What happened to Karen Carpenter? That's a real question.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Well, I can tell you.

• 36:32Bobby Lee?

  What happened to Karen Carpenter?

• 36:33Speaker 03

  My mom's obsessed with Karen Carpenter.

• 36:34Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about it. Tell us about it.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  She was actually recovering from her eating disorder when her heart failed. She was already kind of on an upswing.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  Can we see the state of what Karen...

• 36:44Speaker 03

  No, can we not? It's really sad and dark.

• 36:46Bobby Lee?

  Close your eyes, Clara. She's a good drummer, though.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Who's Karen Carpenter?

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  That's how skinny she got.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  The Carpenter.

• 36:50Bobby Lee?

  Eighty-three pounds.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, she had it.

• 36:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Still talented, though.

• 36:55Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, let's move on.

• 36:56Speaker 05

  In nineteen eighty, early in Benson's second season, Jerry Seinfeld played Frankie for three episodes, and he was since, uh, then he was fired because of creative differences where the, uh, producers felt he was not a strong performer.

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  But that's not what the real story is. Reveal. Okay. What I heard was this.

• 37:14Speaker 02

  Wrong side of the camera over there. The only guy who's in broadcasting is over there on camera.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know. Ooh, compliment. Ooh.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  You want to be...

• 37:22Bobby Lee?

  Uh-oh. Do you even have a pool? Well, he's a producer. He has no broadcasting skills. Don't give him any more compliments.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  He just broadcasted.

• 37:30Bobby Lee?

  Where are you going? He wants to put George on camera.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  Where are you going? Let's try him out.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, there you go.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Oh, this is awesome.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  This is the day.

• 37:38Bobby Lee?

  This is like the Mark Wahlberg movie. Ten years of what?

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Remember?

• 37:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Remember when I was in the office?

• 37:42Speaker 05

  Finally, my moment.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Yay.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, welcome to the show.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Cheers.

• 37:46Bobby Lee?

  What's up?

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Cheers. It's me, Mark Wahlberg. Welcome to the show.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  I was waiting for you to notice.

• 37:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  You are ADD. You know that, right?

• 37:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  You don't have it.

• 37:54Bobby Lee?

  I don't.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  It has you.

• 37:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  ADD has a little bit of an Asian man.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 37:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, here we go.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  But it's most...

• 38:00Bobby Lee?

  I have no idea what you're saying.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  Wait, Bobby, can you tell, um, can you, um, talk about how George?

• 38:06Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  Situated himself so you could see him on the camera there? Remember that?

• 38:10Bobby Lee?

  All right, so can I just say this, okay?

• 38:13Bobby Lee?

  Pete?

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:14Bobby Lee?

  Check it out, dude.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  All right.

• 38:15Bobby Lee?

  I want to get back to the Benson, though, but, um...

• 38:18Speaker 05

  Fifty minutes in, we haven't talked about it.

• 38:20Speaker 02

  Why the glue? Nope, keep going.

• 38:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, um, people have been saying on, um, my direct messages that, um...

• 38:28Speaker 03

  Is that what DMs are?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  You class them up? I went to an automatic teller machine. And I checked my direct messages. I needed this as soon as possible.

• 38:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Keep going.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  That, um...

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Classing it up?

• 38:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because the cameras, right, picks me up, right? But they also pick this up, and they see George in the reflection of this.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 38:50Bobby Lee?

  And that he positioned himself so he can get seen, and then you admitted that you did that.

• 38:55Speaker 05

  Well, but then, uh, well, it's because the editor doesn't cut to me enough, like, when I have a whole camera there, and then he never...

• 39:02Bobby Lee?

  I, right?

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Who does he sound like?

• 39:04Bobby Lee?

  Um...

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Talk some more? Tell me about where you're from.

• 39:07Speaker 05

  I'm from Marion Springs, Michigan. I actually grew up...

• 39:10Bobby Lee?

  Again, again.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Muhammad Ali.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Muhammad Ali. Who are you? There's a famous guy that talks like this.

• 39:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Well...

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Well, you see?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's kind of old timey.

• 39:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Little bit of Jimmy...

• 39:23Bobby Lee?

  Jimmy Stewart.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  Jimmy Stewart.

• 39:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Kermit.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Keep going, Kermit.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:27Bobby Lee?

  What's going on here?

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Oh, the zoom in.

• 39:29Bobby Lee?

  There we go.

• 39:29Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  It just looks like Bono's releasing a new CD. Over your head.

• 39:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Go on. Hey, plus.

• 39:37Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 39:37Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, keep talking.

• 39:39Speaker 05

  Oh, what?

• 39:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:40Speaker 05

  I want to hear the end of the Benson story. Can we get the end of the Benson story, please?

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  But can we talk about why you're talking like this?

• 39:45Speaker 05

  Taran Killam.

• 39:46Bobby Lee?

  You sound like Taran. Well, he does a bit, yeah.

• 39:48Speaker 05

  No.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:50Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  What was it like when you were on SNL?

• 39:52Bobby Lee?

  Have we had Taran on?

• 39:53Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  I, we have.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  You don't remember, you're not gonna remember me.

• 39:56Bobby Lee?

  I'm kidding, I know, I know. Uh, who are you? Anyway, can you go back?

• 40:00Speaker 02

  Who are you?

• 40:01Speaker 05

  If you'll, if you finish the Benson story, promise me you'll finish the Benson story.

• 40:04Bobby Lee?

  I promise I will. Can you switch?

• 40:06Speaker 02

  That's, you're, yeah, that's a broadcast.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  I wanted to hear ya.

• 40:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, we didn't. You got it.

• 40:10Speaker 05

  Uh, as soon as I start talking, Bobby gets on his phone and stops paying attention. So, uh, let's get the podcast.

• 40:15Bobby Lee?

  Like a brother.

• 40:16Speaker 05

  I know.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Now, is Pete, is that short for Peter?

• 40:21Bobby Lee?

  Dude, what the?

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Who has the time?

• 40:23Bobby Lee?

  Crazy question. That's crazy. Are we that desperate to, come on?

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Oh, well, I was just wondering.

• 40:28Bobby Lee?

  Is that your small talk?

• 40:29Speaker 03

  No, I just wanted.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  No, no, no, and I'm a great guest. I could go for 20 minutes on this.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  I could do a podcast, she could say that 20 minutes.

• 40:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Clipper go.

• 40:38Bobby Lee?

  Or let's go, let's go. Go ahead.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  Well, I remember when I was young and I remember I had the agency to do it. It was a big moment in my life. I was like, wait, it's up to me?

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  I can go to Pete?

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Pete is so much nicer than Peter.

• 40:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Here's what you'll never hear, who stabbed you? Pete.

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 40:53Bobby Lee?

  Ah, yeah, never, never, never.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  It was Bobby Lee who stabbed you.

• 40:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  But do you think Peter would stab you?

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Peter wouldn't stab you.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Mm-mm. Are there any villainous Peters in history?

• 41:03Speaker 02

  There was the, Alison Holmes was the woman who made, uh, Theranos? No, Elizabeth Holmes.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Oh, Elizabeth Holmes, yeah.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Theranos, so there's the naughty Holmes. There was also a Holmes serial killer.

• 41:13Bobby Lee?

  Well, didn't Elizabeth Holmes do something with us?

• 41:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, you, you invested in Theranos, didn't you?

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Theranos.

• 41:18Bobby Lee?

  When we're in Seattle, who did that, uh, the live show with us?

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Oh, that's Amanda Knox.

• 41:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Amanda Knox.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  That is not Elizabeth Holmes.

• 41:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  And she was also in a.

• 41:27Bobby Lee?

  I love Amanda Knox.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Sherlock.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Yep, that's my mom.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  That's, I knew it.

• 41:32Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, back to Benson.

• 41:36Bobby Lee?

  Um.

• 41:43Bobby Lee?

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• 42:17Speaker 05

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• 42:56Bobby Lee?

  This is what I heard, and this could be false, but I don't know where I heard this information. Okay, we're excited. Very excited. So, back then, there was no cell phones, obviously. Okay. Right? What about Waymos? There was no...

• 43:12Bobby Lee?

  Just we're gonna open the store with Wi-Fi? There was no Waymos, there was no Lime scooters. Okay. Right? There was, yeah, right? With Expedia.com? Yep. There was no Boston Dynamics building robots. Amazon was just books? Yeah, yeah. Amazon was just books. You're right. Dynamics. Good pull. There's a lot of things that they didn't have back then. That's right. Yeah. Calculator watches, that was like...

• 43:35Speaker 04

  Oh, I love the boobs.

• 43:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, yeah, you can write boobs on any calculator, but if it's on your wrist, you're that much close.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Okay Bobby, go ahead.

• 43:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay, anyway, um, thank you. So back then, there was no cell phones.

• 43:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:50Bobby Lee?

  And so, um, they were, they were gonna, they had fired him, but he didn't get the message, because he left home early to work out or something.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Doesn't sound like me.

• 44:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, so he's gonna go somewhere, and then from wherever he is, go straight to the table read.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Straight from the gym.

• 44:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So he makes it onto the lot.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  I'm here.

• 44:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, shows at the table read, right?

• 44:14Speaker 02

  I'm gonna open up the script now.

• 44:15Bobby Lee?

  He goes, yeah, no, so he goes to the table.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  I'm at the table.

• 44:19Bobby Lee?

  And his son, his-

• 44:20Speaker 02

  You're at the table read, you're gonna have a table?

• 44:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and then his name tag isn't there.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Where's my name tag?

• 44:25Bobby Lee?

  Right, right.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  I have a name, no tag.

• 44:26Bobby Lee?

  And the script wasn't there.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  No script.

• 44:29Bobby Lee?

  And he's standing there, in front of the network and the executives.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  Here I am.

• 44:34Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 44:37Bobby Lee?

  It's going Bobby, it's really good. And they, and they, somebody had to come up to him and go, "You, you got fired."

• 44:42Speaker 02

  I've been fired!

• 44:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and he had to, you know, it was embarrassing.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  I had to slink out?

• 44:47Bobby Lee?

  He had to slink out, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Oh wow, exeter.

• 44:49Bobby Lee?

  That's the story, that's the story.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 44:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  That sucks. Yeah, there's a lot of stories in show business like that, like Ed O'Neill found out, Married with Children, was cancelled, from seeing it on the news.

• 44:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh wow.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Nobody wants to break bad news.

• 45:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  But you know when you have something good happen, like everyone calls you?

• 45:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh right.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting about the calling, um, so, yesterday was a very big day for me, Pete.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 45:12Bobby Lee?

  Okay? And it was, um, I'm being real, this is, I, a real, and you know about this, right? Very sincere thing that I'm about to say, okay, this is not jokes, or this and that. Really important day for me. I had one guy call me, to go, you know what I mean, to congratulate me.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 45:30Bobby Lee?

  Right? And that was it.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  So, Soobies?

• 45:32Bobby Lee?

  So what do you think it is?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Uh, your-

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Soobies.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  Yes, sobriety, sobriety birthday.

• 45:37Bobby Lee?

  So, nobody texted me, except for Santino yesterday.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  I called you yesterday.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  Uh, Slam Tina.

• 45:40Bobby Lee?

  You never said happy birthday to my, uh, birthday.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I, we talked for like, an hour.

• 45:44Bobby Lee?

  And, but you still forgot, that it was my A birthday.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  You know why? I remember the original one from a couple of years.

• 45:51Bobby Lee?

  You've had a couple of different birthdays.

• 45:51Speaker 03

  You've had so many birthdays.

• 45:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, because I'm a relapser, I'm a chronic, that's what she's saying, I'm a chronic relapper.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  That's what I got from that.

• 45:58Bobby Lee?

  I thought you all got that.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  You have so many anniversaries.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  I remember the November one.

• 46:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I did have a November one.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  How long has it been, Bobby?

• 46:07Bobby Lee?

  Four years.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 46:08Bobby Lee?

  Celebrated four years since Friday yesterday. And Santino, out of nowhere, just called me and goes, "Happy birthday."

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Hey, dude. Happy.

• 46:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  I just do Bill Burr.

• 46:18Bobby Lee?

  He did Bill Burr.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Bobby Lee. We're drinking. Who cares?

• 46:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  Not gonna text him?

• 46:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Nah, I'm gonna text him, "Hey, Bobby, good job."

• 46:27Bobby Lee?

  Bill Burr did say something very humiliating in front of the last week. Humiliating? Well, I was like, he's like, "Congratulations, man." And I go, "Thank you for my special." He produced it.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 46:37Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  He produced mine as well.

• 46:40Bobby Lee?

  Ooh.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  I have a pool. Keep going.

• 46:45Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, and I go, it's in front of a lot of people. And I go, "Yeah, no, fuck, man, I don't even know, I had to rewrite another hour." And he goes, "Boo hoo!" in front of everybody. You get me? "Oh, somebody has to rewrite." And he was making fun of me.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  You caught the wrong Bill.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:06Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes you get the wrong one.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Sometimes you get the sweet Bill that's like, "Come on, man, you can do it."

• 47:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, sometimes, yeah, yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  He's very sweet. I think Bill's very sweet.

• 47:13Bobby Lee?

  I love him.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  I think the angry guys onstage, they let it all out. Would you agree with that?

• 47:19Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Just feel like you haven't talked in a while.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  No, I am interested, but I'm also trying to include you.

• 47:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  I think, I, I, thank you so much.

• 47:27Bobby Lee?

  I love you.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:28Bobby Lee?

  Very good. You gotta come back.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Is it over?

• 47:31Bobby Lee?

  No, I mean, I'm just saying.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Two, three, four.

• 47:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I think you should come back. He's so good. Why hasn't he done this? Why hasn't he done this? After 12, 10 years of doing it.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Do you wanna, can we talk about your UFC experience?

• 47:46Bobby Lee?

  We can in a second.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:47Bobby Lee?

  But, uh, we can in a second because I'm a little, um...

• 47:50Speaker 02

  Why did you guys break up?

• 47:53Bobby Lee?

  No, no, stop talking.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  You is be domineering.

• 47:57Bobby Lee?

  I'm domineering?

• 47:58Speaker 02

  No, I'm just calling it.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think I'm domineering?

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're, you...

• 48:03Speaker 02

  I will say the water, if you're a shower, the water goes cold very suddenly.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Like you think you you package yourself as a clown and we all know you as this Bobby Lee, the clown, he's here to make you happy. And then you're like, shut the fuck up.

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  Gilbert.

• 48:20Speaker 02

  It's fun.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  Do you think a guy like this is domineering?

• 48:23Bobby Lee?

  What happened?

• 48:24Speaker 00

  I mean, this is not a domineering purchase at all.

• 48:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 00

  He wanted to buy a $3,000 ski mask. That's not domineering, Pete. It's very humble.

• 48:33Bobby Lee?

  I almost bought that.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  What?

• 48:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. $3,000.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  It was a gift for his birthday.

• 48:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Well, at least you're doing something else now.

• 48:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Close. $3,000. He almost bought that.

• 48:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  I believe it.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  But I did buy pants for $1,000 yesterday and I'm never gonna wear them again. What store was this?

• 48:53Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 48:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  It was futuristic.

• 48:55Bobby Lee?

  No, it's.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  Let you try it on.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I feel like that has to be yours now.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  That's yours now, COVID.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  Oh, you put your mouth on it?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. He didn't wrap his head in a wrap first. I mean, it looks great. I love you and swept away. No, what do I mean? Spirited away.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  I love spirited away.

• 49:18Bobby Lee?

  The joke would have been much better if you got it right.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  I got it.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  We laughed anyway.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  It's so close.

• 49:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 04

  That's like a little gimp, little cotton gimp.

• 49:28Bobby Lee?

  Cotton gimp.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  Wake the gimp, like a gentler gimp.

• 49:30Speaker 04

  A gentle gimp.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just cuddle.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  But you are.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  Get my cuddle gimp.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  He is extremely, I think, George, would you say he's domineering?

• 49:40Speaker 05

  If I have to, yes, but he might dominate me and then I'll have to eat my words and disagree with myself.

• 49:46Bobby Lee?

  No, let's get at this out in the open because I had no, I'm not even aware of this behavioral.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  He's domineering and he's soft. The spectrum is from one to 50.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  I think you said it perfectly right with the shower where it's like warm and then suddenly cold.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, surprising.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  It's like Bill Burr. You don't know which one you're talking about.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  Oh, you Bobby Lee, you're the same as Bill Burr.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Bobby Burr.

• 50:05Bobby Lee?

  Never know what you're gonna get.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Bill Lee.

• 50:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Like what Forrest said. Forrest Gump.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  Oh, with a box of chocolates. I got it. I got it.

• 50:14Bobby Lee?

  I didn't want to say it.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  Well, you know Forrest.

• 50:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're a box of chocolates.

• 50:18Bobby Lee?

  I'm a box of chocolate. Yeah, yeah.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  But that's actually not true. I just, I just think.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  It headlines so hard, your goofy, silly side.

• 50:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  But it's a surprise when. I also see you, no person more in real time is just trying to assess and figure out. Like, I can really see it on your, even right now, you're like, what is this?

• 50:36Bobby Lee?

  He observes, he observes, yeah.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Where's this going?

• 50:39Speaker 04

  He's calculating.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  And you can put in a quarter any which way. I could go like, marble madness, and you'll just kinda go on that. Is that right? Yeah, in the moment.

• 50:49Bobby Lee?

  I'm in the moment.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Alive, vibrant.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  Anywho, um, thanks for being here.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  I knew it.

• 50:55Bobby Lee?

  No, we're not leaving.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  I knew you.

• 50:56Bobby Lee?

  No, we do hours.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Hours.

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, um, cause I'm trying to avoid what she's just brought up.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  The UFC fight.

• 51:02Bobby Lee?

  The UFC fight.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Oh, what's, what was that?

• 51:03Bobby Lee?

  You ever go?

• 51:04Speaker 02

  To UFC, no.

• 51:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not a fan of the football?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Whenever I watch it, I'm just like, just talk it out.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  What's the issue?

• 51:14Bobby Lee?

  That's insane.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  That's Steve Aoki.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  What is he?

• 51:17Speaker 04

  He's a DJ.

• 51:18Bobby Lee?

  And his dad owns. You don't know him?

• 51:20Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:20Bobby Lee?

  Uh, you, you know who Steve Aoki is?

• 51:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:22Bobby Lee?

  It's, to me, that's crazy because he is one of the most famous people to me in the world.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  Steve Aoki, I mean, if you're into like EDM and that world, yes, but I, I can get how someone can't know him, that's, yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't keep up with anything like that.

• 51:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you don't?

• 51:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  Who's the most famous person to you right now?

• 51:44Bobby Lee?

  That you, he knows, he knows a lot.

• 51:46Speaker 00

  That's a good question.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 51:47Speaker 00

  From like pop culture.

• 51:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, like in pop culture, like, who would you say is the most famous person?

• 51:51Bobby Lee?

  I mean, Brad Pitt, he knows that.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  What the heck, you gotta let?

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Like, who's the biggest celebrity right now?

• 51:57Bobby Lee?

  It's a ridiculous question. It's a ridiculous question.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  I'd go Cruz, I'd go Pitt, I'd go Clooney.

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 52:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  Ocean's Eleven.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  How old are you? Yeah, the cast of Ocean's Eleven.

• 52:06Bobby Lee?

  But let's try to find a name, let's try to find a name that's kinda famous that he might not know.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Oh, you'll find it, no problem.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Sydney Sweeney?

• 52:13Speaker 02

  No idea.

• 52:14Speaker 00

  Oh, so he's still locked.

• 52:15Bobby Lee?

  You really don't know who Sydney Sweeney is?

• 52:17Speaker 00

  He's in the 2000s, 90s, 2000s celebrity.

• 52:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  You might not know her face, but.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  It's a girl?

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 52:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:23Bobby Lee?

  Actress?

• 52:24Speaker 02

  No idea.

• 52:25Bobby Lee?

  You really don't?

• 52:26Speaker 00

  Do you know Tom Holland?

• 52:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Okay, there we go.

• 52:29Speaker 04

  Zendaya?

• 52:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 52:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  Beyonce?

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Beyonce, obviously. If you didn't know Beyonce.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Oh, is Zendaya her sister?

• 52:40Speaker 03

  That's Solange.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Solange. And by the way, it's, it's, it's by choice. There's, I, I tried to do a bit about this. You're only supposed to know, there's this great book called Tribe. Yes, I read.

• 52:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Did you read it?

• 52:55Speaker 00

  I know the book that everyone talks about on the podcast.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  Very little book, yeah, it's a great.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  It's, oh, tell me about Tribe.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Good book drop.

• 53:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  It's just about how we're, how human beings were evolved to live and we're supposed to live in tribes. And the tribes are only supposed to ever be as big as about like a hundred, hundred and fifty.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Small communities, yeah.

• 53:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  So, the world we live in, I go, you should know Tom Holland, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Colin Hanks, Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Matt Damon, Matt, Matt Dillon.

• 53:23Bobby Lee?

  That's a lot, that's a lot.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, Bill Burr, Jerry Seinfeld, Santi.

• 53:28Bobby Lee?

  You have to name a hundred and fifty, we get it.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  How easy is it for, we haven't even begun to try, and I could name that many people that easily. You, no wonder you're stressed out, you shouldn't know or care that Ryan Seacrest has lupus.

• 53:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he has it?

• 53:45Speaker 02

  See, that's what people always say, no, he doesn't. I don't know if he does, and you shouldn't know if he does.

• 53:48Bobby Lee?

  Does he have it?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  No, I don't think so. Nick Cannon does.

• 53:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  All those babies.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  You shouldn't know Nick Cannon has lupus.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Wait, lupus makes you do all those babies?

• 53:56Speaker 02

  This is a fun podcast.

• 53:58Bobby Lee?

  Is it a fun?

• 53:59Speaker 02

  It's just like you take a topic and you put it in a tornado.

• 54:03Speaker 00

  Tiger Valley, that's Tiger Valley.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  Tiger Valley. I like it. I have ADD too.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  So, you're not frustrating me, but I do think it's interesting that we know too many people.

• 54:11Bobby Lee?

  That's interesting, that's, I'm gonna listen, I, I, I'm gonna audio book that book.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  I kind of get that, cuz I've, as I've gotten older, just my need to sort of like, just tighten up and have less and less in my life, just less noise, less everything is really.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  And that's my, yes, I'm sorry to interrupt.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  And I love Ojai. Ojai, I understand. Him, he probably.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  No, I wouldn't want Bobby to live in Ojai. Bobby is so LA, and I mean that in like a really, like, I like the idea that life is enjoying itself through Bobby in LA.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  It would make me sad if you were like, if you had chickens.

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  I love chickens.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's his thing. His whole thing is he wants to live on a farm.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  No, he doesn't.

• 54:45Bobby Lee?

  I do.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  You don't.

• 54:47Bobby Lee?

  Why not?

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Cuz he's never done it.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  That's why. Yeah, because you've never done it.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  It's so, it's, it's a lot of work. You have to be up at five in the morning.

• 54:54Bobby Lee?

  What kind of farm do you want? There's different kinds of farms.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  No, I don't, I don't mean you don't want to live on a farm.

• 54:58Bobby Lee?

  I want to, I don't want to be like, you know what I mean, um, wearing overalls with a pitchfork on.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  And you don't have to.

• 55:04Bobby Lee?

  I mean, the crops need to be, you mean, forsaken today. I don't, I don't know.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  I don't know about you. I don't know about you, Bobby. I think a lot of high functioning city people just kind of keep in their back pocket, boy, I'd love to live in Montana. And you're just kind of like, no, you wouldn't. Like, like Lucille Ball was like, all I want is a family. And it's like, no.

• 55:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, no, no.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  You don't. Or you would do it.

• 55:27Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Stop making.

• 55:29Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. Can I defend myself?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  I'm not saying that about you. I said Lucille Ball.

• 55:33Bobby Lee?

  I'm just telling you what, what I mean.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Oh, please do.

• 55:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So before you get on this tangent, this high and mighty tangent, this Largo, this Largo attitude he's doing.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  I almost talked for 15 seconds.

• 55:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right?

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Oh, the guest almost talked for 15 seconds.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Wrong show.

• 55:51Speaker 00

  Dun, dun.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Go ahead. Sorry, I thought I was being welcomed. But go ahead.

• 55:58Bobby Lee?

  I apologize.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  No, I'm totally.

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very good. What I mean by that.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  You see, you see if he.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  He's like, oh, no.

• 56:05Bobby Lee?

  Is, is that, um, when I say farm, that's not what I mean. I mean, you know, I mean, land where I can have animals run freely. Okay. That I can, when I get older, I would like, you know, I mean, more than, I mean, I have, we have a lot of animals.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have seven. You want, you want rescued animals.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  I'd like to have more, uh, big dogs, small dogs. I like other animals.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:27Bobby Lee?

  And then, you know, when I retire from the business, that would be a nice, I would also want a garden. I want to figure that out.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  I feel like you'd be so good at it.

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So there's certain things that I, you know, by being forced out, right? So having, you mean, land, right? I would go to, um, a lot of AA meetings, right? I would be very active in that. I would be active in having a farm and having, not a farm, but like having, um, a garden, right?

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Sanctuary, yeah.

• 56:52Bobby Lee?

  And I would probably force myself to do things like meditation.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  How about cooking?

• 56:58Bobby Lee?

  Probably taking a culinary class because, you know, I'm a big cooking fan. I like cooking.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Can I say, this is why it's a trope in movies that the cop dies the day before he was going to retire. Like, the ego. Our egos will always perpetuate, always one more ride, one more hit, one more show, one more year. And something that was very useful for me, I'm 46, it wasn't absurd to go like, good life, when? When are we gonna do this? When will my daughter leave her bike on the front yard? And we were like, let's do it now. You gotta do it now. So there's a time when you go, and I'm not saying this about you. I don't know you well enough.

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  I think you're right.

• 57:35Speaker 02

  But I think, don't believe, it's like having your cake and eating it too.

• 57:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  It's like, I do want that. I like, it, it just sort of touches my heart and I relate to what you're saying going like, I'll live in the country, I'll garden, I'll, I'll meditate. This is something, we gotta be proactive about that stuff. It's not.

• 57:55Bobby Lee?

  I don't have, I can't do it now. That's, that's, I mean, really realistic, I can't do it now.

• 58:00Speaker 00

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• 58:44Speaker 00

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• 58:59Speaker 06

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• 59:30Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 59:31Bobby Lee?

  Any of that.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Why? Maybe just get a chicken.

• 59:35Bobby Lee?

  No, because I, number one, you mean, you know, I mean, I'm obligated to responsibilities here. You mean, I have this podcast, I have Andrew, so I can't move, right? You know what I mean? I, you know, I have to still pay bills and, you know, I mean.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  Why don't you just get a summer home?

• 59:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  That's very good.

• 59:56Bobby Lee?

  Your fist bump was there so long.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought she was pointing at me. I thought she was pointing at me. I thought she said summer home. I couldn't see because of the perspective.

• 1:00:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  It's tricky. The quality of consciousness that brings you success is not the quality of consciousness that helps you enjoy life. So this tenacity that helps you achieve everything you've achieved is not the lens through which you should be looking to have an enjoyable existence.

• 1:00:22Bobby Lee?

  Damn, Pete Holmes.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  It's not the land that makes you meditate. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  But by the way, I'm not here to fix you. I think you're beautiful.

• 1:00:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  I love, that feels like something in Ojai, in Ojai. That's in Ojai. That whole thing was on a T-shirt in Ojai.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  We have very long T-shirts.

• 1:00:41Bobby Lee?

  In the game, in the book Tribe, though, what else do they talk about? You know what I mean? That, I know, I, you know.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  What am I, ChatGPT? You want me to summarize?

• 1:00:47Bobby Lee?

  You don't read it?

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  Well, man. I did read it.

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  It's funny what sticks with you from the book. It was that 150 thing.

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  I would assume that.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  It's also very big on co-sleeping.

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  Sleeping with someone?

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I guess you could take it in the adult way. Co-sleeping with a baby.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  That's not me.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Like, like a baby. I, my daughter was very young when I read it and people are very divided on co-sleeping. They're like, look, if you put your, this is the author of Tribe, because it's a hot issue. Parents listening, I respect whatever you're doing. But he makes the argument that if you put a baby in a room by itself and let it cry it out, it thinks it's going to be eaten by wolves. Everything in its DNA.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  The cortisol spike.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  It's genetic makeup says I'm going to die.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Not, not even just the baby. When I had my baby, I had bought a crib. I had been taught sleep training. I had read the books. When I had my baby, my, I was a mess. Putting my baby in a different room. So I was like, fuck this, fuck whatever society says I should do. I grew up in the Philippines. Co-sleeping is very natural for me, so I just did that.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  We, yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  And we, we still co-sleep.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  We, my daughter's seven, she climbs in bed with us all the time.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  I love it. It's, it's the sweetest thing ever.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Thirty years old still living with you.

• 1:02:02Speaker 03

  Well, see, but that's, that's a silly argument. That's a silly argument because what you're actually instilling in these-

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Get me a new Playstation, mom!

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  No, what you're instilling in these babies is a sense of safety.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Move over, I'm trying to sleep! It's attachment. I actually would argue it's the opposite. My daughter is fearless. We went to a, like a swimming hole, and there was this big cliff. And only grown men, muscular, ripped guys, were jumping off this cliff. My daughter was six years old, she climbed up and jumped off. Yeah, she's Lara Croft. Oh, it's a good ref. That's a ref I can get, not a compliment.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  I can under-

• 1:02:38Speaker 02

  I'm just saying it was a 2000's reference. Yeah, it makes, it makes-

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  It makes sense. Well, she is Lara Croft, but it's Lara too, by the way.

• 1:02:47Bobby Lee?

  That is also true.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  That is also true. She jumped off the thing because we go, when my daughter does something brave, and she doesn't have to be brave, but she just is a fierce child. I go, she's attached. She's very close with us, but when we get in a social situation, she's like, bye.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  And you go, that's an attached child.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, securely attached. They build their attachment in the first three years of life.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  So it's like if they're left in another room, and by the way, this is no fault to like mothers and parents, like I think just how it works in the United States, it's really hard to not sleep train your child. Who has the liberty to just stay home all day and like not sleep at night? Because co-sleeping is hard.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it felt very natural to do it.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  And, and especially, we just have the one, so there's just this baby between them.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  It's like these walls. It's like she lives in a valley-

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Between her parents, and she just slept so good. Oh, I would do the same.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  It's my favorite. I know you would.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  I, I would do the same.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  You would absolutely do the same.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweetly. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  I think my parents left me.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. And what sucks is you were raised by wolves, and even they left.

• 1:03:49Bobby Lee?

  Also the Lara Croft joke, I said it wrong because I said it really quickly.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  You already heard it's Lara.

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  Lara.

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  Whatever it is.

• 1:03:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but so.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Angelina Jolie.

• 1:03:58Bobby Lee?

  When I do jokes, I'm fat quick.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Jolie.

• 1:03:59Bobby Lee?

  I'm not wrong. Anyway, um, what?

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:04:02Bobby Lee?

  Um, there's a new Lara Croft, though, that's being cast.

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  Lara.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  Lara. Lara.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Lara.

• 1:04:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Like Lara Bites?

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Oh, love her. Very talented.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  Very funny.

• 1:04:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Lara, um.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  Has she been on it just already?

• 1:04:16Bobby Lee?

  Lara, what?

• 1:04:17Speaker 03

  She's been on my other show. Yeah, she's so funny.

• 1:04:21Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  I really want to share a tidbit, though, about Lara Croft, but you first.

• 1:04:25Bobby Lee?

  I want, because the, um, the new person that's cast is, um, sounds historic.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  I heard they're doing the PlayStation version and they cast a Cybertruck as her.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Have you seen those memes?

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I did.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  They're great.

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  A Cybertruck with big boobs?

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Well, the original Lara Croft looked like a Cybertruck.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Very angular, pointy.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  Brutalist.

• 1:04:45Bobby Lee?

  Pointy, yeah, yeah, brutalist.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Brutalist.

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  Brutalist.

• 1:04:48Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  No, it's not important.

• 1:04:50Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you can't do that and then do that.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  Okay, so when I was growing up, my dad had told me that my, or his uncle, was this very prolific thief. And this very, um, um, mythical kind. Everyone was like, oh, he was a legend. And it turns out that my, my dad's uncle was the original Tomb Raider. And his name was Byron de Proroc Kuhn. And, yeah, I'm a.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  Dwayne Proroc Johnson?

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so, yeah, and so, um, the original Tomb Raider. I'm a descendant of the original Tomb Raider. So when you call me Lara Croft in our relationship, you're like, it makes sense.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Did he rob tombs?

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, he did. So he actually came from a really rich family and he did it, um.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  The archaeological community and, um, was very much against him because he was a rich kid who just dug out tombs against all other, like, rules and laws. And what he did was very unethical.

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  You're related to this guy?

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, so I did my, um, DNA, my ancestry, and he was right there.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Plotting the murder of his nemesis.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. I thought my dad was this, like, just, he was, I was like, he's fucking lying, he's lying. And it turns out it's true. I feel like everyone looks like that in the 1920s.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:06:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, my uncle was the original Zelda.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:06:04Bobby Lee?

  How's that feel?

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  So why was?

• 1:06:06Bobby Lee?

  That's your uncle?

• 1:06:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's the same last name.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:09Bobby Lee?

  That's incredible. Yeah.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Byron.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  Byron.

• 1:06:12Bobby Lee?

  Byron.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  Hungarian.

• 1:06:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. You come from, you have a good gene. Gene, good gene.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  Gene Hong.

• 1:06:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Gene Hong.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:06:19Bobby Lee?

  Nice callback. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  He's a count.

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  I don't know any counts, do you?

• 1:06:24Bobby Lee?

  How about your heritage, Kat? Do you have good heritage?

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  Uh, no, not really.

• 1:06:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. The line is not good?

• 1:06:29Speaker 04

  No, not so much. We, I know there's some, we came in the, on the pilgrim. There's some pilgrim people that, and, um, yeah, I still don't have.

• 1:06:37Bobby Lee?

  They were in a boat.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 1:06:38Bobby Lee?

  Were they in a boat?

• 1:06:39Speaker 04

  They were in a boat, yeah.

• 1:06:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:06:40Speaker 04

  But I'm still like overdrafted at Chase, so I don't know if we're making great decisions back then.

• 1:06:45Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:06:45Speaker 04

  But, so. But no, we didn't.

• 1:06:48Bobby Lee?

  So not good, any investment?

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  Nothing.

• 1:06:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no.

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  I just, nothing.

• 1:06:51Bobby Lee?

  Are there any notable Holmes? In your, in your history?

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  That's a good question. Well, there's Oliver Wendell Holmes.

• 1:06:58Bobby Lee?

  You're related to him?

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  We're all in there.

• 1:07:01Bobby Lee?

  You can't just. No, no, no, no. In your like, that you know of, like.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  John Holmes, the porn star?

• 1:07:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That's your part of your, like your cousin, second cousin?

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, we called him Shorty.

• 1:07:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Hey man.

• 1:07:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, man, yeah. He had a very, very large, um, general.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Big dick, that's who Boogie Nights is based on.

• 1:07:19Speaker 04

  Is it really?

• 1:07:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  Oh, I love that movie.

• 1:07:21Bobby Lee?

  You knew John Holmes?

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  John Holmes.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  I don't know who John Holmes is, but I know Mark Wahlberg.

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  He also was one of the most prominent, uh, he died of AIDS.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:07:28Bobby Lee?

  He did die of the HIV. Yeah, yeah, unfortunately.

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  Dang.

• 1:07:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Hard to have a somber tone when you call it the HIV.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  You can't have both.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  You can't have both? Okay, all right. Uh, do you go to church with your family or no?

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:07:43Bobby Lee?

  You're not religious?

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  I'm not religious.

• 1:07:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  But I'm aggressively spiritual, like a bit much.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  Me too.

• 1:07:49Bobby Lee?

  Are you?

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Which way?

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  Uh, up.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  Up?

• 1:07:52Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  Every which way and up?

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  Yes. Just energy in general. But what do you mean by that?

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  I'm just, it's a weird question. I guess I'm just saying, talk more about that.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  Oh, spirituality just be in like karma and good nature and that kind of positive energy. And I think I believe in God, but in not necessarily like as a deity, but as like a-

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  We're in alignment there. How old are you?

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Uh, thirty-four.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  I guess twenty-four. Seems young, right?

• 1:08:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very young.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Very young. Young voice, too.

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  Oh, thank you. I think.

• 1:08:27Speaker 02

  I can't see you.

• 1:08:28Bobby Lee?

  Almost childlike.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  I'm zooming in, so I can't see you.

• 1:08:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:31Speaker 04

  Why do you say it like that?

• 1:08:32Bobby Lee?

  I'm fifty-four.

• 1:08:33Speaker 04

  Fifty-four?

• 1:08:33Bobby Lee?

  You know that?

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  Fifty-four, you look great.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, you really do. No.

• 1:08:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  You're gonna get-

• 1:08:39Bobby Lee?

  I don't feel, you know, I'll be honest with you, though. I feel like a child.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:08:43Bobby Lee?

  I feel whimsical. I run around, went to the spa this weekend, nice restaurant, I think.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Almost bought a three thousand dollar ski mask. Bought a thousand dollars.

• 1:08:51Bobby Lee?

  I was as close.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  You were really close.

• 1:08:53Bobby Lee?

  I was really close.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  No one doesn't believe it.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  What breaks our hearts is we all believe it.

• 1:09:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What's the most you would spend on like a jacket or pants or something?

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  Well, it's a little virtue signaling, but I once bought a jacket. It was in New York. It was when we were filming Crashing, so I was just kinda like, you know, having a little bit more money than I was used to.

• 1:09:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  And I was like freezing my ass off and I was in a very nice neighborhood and I went into one of those Montclair.

• 1:09:22Bobby Lee?

  I love Montclair.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Montclair?

• 1:09:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  So I was like, I always see people wearing those puffy jackets. They look so nice. I'm just gonna go get one.

• 1:09:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Go in the store, they're giving out champagne.

• 1:09:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  They just have champagne. None of the jackets have prices on them.

• 1:09:35Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  And I'm like, I couldn't believe they just let me walk in.

• 1:09:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:41Speaker 02

  I found one that I liked.

• 1:09:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  And it's like a Christmas tree. Don't put the tree in your car until you ask them how much it is.

• 1:09:47Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 1:09:47Speaker 02

  Cause you're at the front and you're like, I want this one. And it was a thousand dollars.

• 1:09:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  And I was embarrassed and I bought it. I didn't wanna put it back, but I was like, this is way too much for a jacket.

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  But the virtue signal part is, I felt so bad, I donated a thousand dollars to the New York Winter Coat Charity, so.

• 1:10:06Bobby Lee?

  You felt belt about it, bad about it?

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Okay. Spending that amount of money on something very expensive made you feel bad?

• 1:10:13Speaker 02

  Yes. I mean, I can argue that it's, there's nothing wrong with that, sure. But I, this was my first really big purchase. I can see your thousand dollar pants running around a muck.

• 1:10:27Bobby Lee?

  No, I just.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  I just, when you're in New York.

• 1:10:29Bobby Lee?

  Don't eat nothing.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  You're like, you live up here in the hills, in, in your fancy toy room, and you don't really see poverty. When you're in New York and you buy a thousand dollar coat, the next thing you do is step over a guy who's dying.

• 1:10:42Bobby Lee?

  Could I just say something?

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 1:10:43Bobby Lee?

  I, I'm around poverty all the time.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  How's that?

• 1:10:46Bobby Lee?

  My whole family is impoverished. You know what I mean? I hang out with comics that are impoverished, you know what I mean?

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  I just meant.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, that's not. I hang out with more, you know what I mean?

• 1:10:55Speaker 00

  Impoverished people.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  What kind of flex is that? I have them shipped in. The most exotic.

• 1:11:01Bobby Lee?

  I hang out with more of this level of comedian than.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  This level?

• 1:11:05Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? Like, almost borderline open mic.

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  So, as we're telling these stories about thousand dollar jackets, how do you feel?

• 1:11:11Speaker 04

  Um, I just, I've never been able to afford anything like that.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  But like, I'm, I'm saying.

• 1:11:17Bobby Lee?

  You're on a TV show. You're, you're, you're in a TV show that Judd Apatow is producing. It's for HBO, right? And you deserve one Montclair jacket.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  Well, I don't, I still have it.

• 1:11:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  I still have it, it's been ten, almost ten years, I, so, yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't remember the Montclair jacket story in New York? We were both in New York, and this is when he wasn't quite. One is my rent, actually, one and a half.

• 1:11:42Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead.

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  And. Don't say sorry, that broke my heart. Sorry, sorry for that riff. Don't say sorry.

• 1:11:48Speaker 03

  You had one Montclair vest, the camo Montclair vest.

• 1:11:51Bobby Lee?

  My favorite one, I still have it.

• 1:11:52Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:11:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 03

  And you walked into Montclair.

• 1:11:55Speaker 00

  Sorry. He's dancing, and it went in his thousand dollar pants.

• 1:11:58Speaker 03

  Those are the thousand dollar pants?

• 1:12:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  What's so special about them? They look like you poo-pooed in there.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  They come pre-poo-pooed.

• 1:12:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  I like, are those Converse though?

• 1:12:09Bobby Lee?

  Those are my shoes I'm wearing now. Anyway, those are, these are Golden Goose.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Oh, they're-

• 1:12:12Bobby Lee?

  Eight fifty.

• 1:12:13Speaker 03

  Where were you saying-

• 1:12:14Bobby Lee?

  Eight fifty. Anyway, go ahead.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Fifty?

• 1:12:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

• 1:12:17Speaker 03

  Chugi, I don't hate him.

• 1:12:19Bobby Lee?

  The pants?

• 1:12:20Speaker 03

  The shoes, the Golden Goose.

• 1:12:23Bobby Lee?

  Anyway.

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  Anyways, um, do you remember this story Bobby about Moncler?

• 1:12:27Bobby Lee?

  This shit.

• 1:12:28Speaker 03

  Um, you went in and you were, um, bragging about how you had this, you wanted to, the sales lady to know that you owned a Moncler vest. Why does she need to know? And you were like, do you remember that season? They, they came out with a camel one and she's like, no, I don't. She's like, well, I own a Moncler. And you, you, you picked one out and you took it to the counter. And then what did we do after that?

• 1:12:50Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember.

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  She said the price and we ran away.

• 1:12:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, at, at the time I couldn't afford it.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, we ran away.

• 1:12:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  We ran away. How much was it?

• 1:12:57Bobby Lee?

  Good for you.

• 1:12:58Speaker 03

  It was actually way more, yeah, it was more than a thousand. It was definitely like up there.

• 1:13:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. At, at the time, I was too embarrassed.

• 1:13:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  You're in the basement? You have to like go up the stairs?

• 1:13:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  With no jacket?

• 1:13:09Bobby Lee?

  You're right, you're right. I couldn't afford it. There was times in my life I couldn't afford it.

• 1:13:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was-

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  Why bring that up?

• 1:13:15Speaker 03

  That was, those were the fun times.

• 1:13:16Bobby Lee?

  Those are the good times. Yeah, I don't even wear them anymore.

• 1:13:18Speaker 03

  He doesn't like them. He has like a highlighter green Moncler vest. He hates it.

• 1:13:21Bobby Lee?

  I hate, no, I gave it away.

• 1:13:22Speaker 03

  Oh, you did?

• 1:13:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, uh, let's, let's move on from Moncler, you know what I mean?

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  Move in, it's him wearing his Moncler.

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  That's a good one, it's a classic.

• 1:13:31Bobby Lee?

  It's a good ca- jacket.

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  It matches your hair.

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  Demetri Martin cosplay over there.

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  I forgot your haircut.

• 1:13:38Bobby Lee?

  Alright.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  I do, I remember this about you. I, I have a certain bead on you and you always surprise me.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 1:13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's nice.

• 1:13:45Bobby Lee?

  So anyway-

• 1:13:46Speaker 02

  It's why you're so entertaining.

• 1:13:47Bobby Lee?

  Can I, wanna say one thing about the Moncler?

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  He's back.

• 1:13:50Bobby Lee?

  If I wasn't wearing that particular Moncler jacket, David Spade would not know who I was.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  I mean, that sentence made my dick go inside my butt.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  That was crazy sentence, dude.

• 1:14:01Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you why?

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  Your belief system is wild.

• 1:14:04Bobby Lee?

  It's wild. I believe this. Can I tell you why?

• 1:14:08Speaker 03

  Tell me.

• 1:14:08Bobby Lee?

  Cause David would never talk to me, ever.

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  And then he bought a jacket and he talked to you?

• 1:14:12Bobby Lee?

  No, so I one day, I was wearing a Moncler, that Moncler jacket.

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:14:15Bobby Lee?

  I was at the Comedy Store.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:17Bobby Lee?

  He walked up to me, never had said anything to me before in his life.

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:14:20Bobby Lee?

  He took his finger and he put his finger around the Moncler logo and he goes, someone's doing well. And ever since then, we've been friends.

• 1:14:28Speaker 02

  And it's friends in quotes, or do you want me to do that for you?

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  I mean, what is this? The sad tales from the Hollywood holiness? Welcome to people trying to fill a hole that only love can fill with jackets and David Spade anecdotes?

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  Get out of this.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  That's a funny thing he did.

• 1:14:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I also could be making it up.

• 1:14:52Speaker 00

  No, but that's the thing. It's funny because I think he tried to talk to you so many times before that and you only view that as the moment.

• 1:14:58Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, but you can't.

• 1:15:00Bobby Lee?

  You scored so many times already on the podcast? How many scores do you want?

• 1:15:04Speaker 04

  That was a big score.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  All of the scores.

• 1:15:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  You can't take that away.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  It was a clip.

• 1:15:09Bobby Lee?

  You're scoring.

• 1:15:09Speaker 04

  It was a clip.

• 1:15:11Bobby Lee?

  There's somebody that's a clip to both of those?

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  That was a clip. And by the way.

• 1:15:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:14Speaker 02

  By the way, what? As someone who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I know David a little bit. Why would he be mad at that?

• 1:15:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:19Speaker 02

  Because you thought he wasn't your friend? I see a really tender heart in there, Bobby. You're very sweet.

• 1:15:25Bobby Lee?

  I love him.

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  No, I mean you.

• 1:15:26Bobby Lee?

  I am very tender.

• 1:15:27Speaker 02

  You are tender and you're worried. Worried in a beautiful way. You want people to feel okay.

• 1:15:32Bobby Lee?

  How do you feel about Pete so far?

• 1:15:33Speaker 04

  I love Pete. He's great.

• 1:15:34Bobby Lee?

  Very funny, right?

• 1:15:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 1:15:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  He's very kind.

• 1:15:36Bobby Lee?

  You really like him?

• 1:15:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:38Bobby Lee?

  Now, if he sees you at the comedy store, you think he'll like be a dick to you or?

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  No, I don't think so.

• 1:15:44Bobby Lee?

  Will you remember her?

• 1:15:45Speaker 02

  I'd need you to go Bobby Lee's podcast.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  And that has nothing to do with you. I wish that wasn't true about me.

• 1:15:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  But if I'm thinking about my sad or trying to get ready, somebody comes up to me.

• 1:15:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  I just did that to Trevor Wallace, who's a very funny comedian and who was in a movie I was in.

• 1:16:00Bobby Lee?

  I know who it is.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  And I just walked right by him and it was just because I was thinking about my lines, whatever. So sometimes you hear people.

• 1:16:06Bobby Lee?

  Who's that?

• 1:16:07Speaker 02

  Trevor Wallace, very funny. That's a, see, that's my Zendaya.

• 1:16:11Speaker 04

  No, he's done this podcast so many times.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  Oh, you're joking?

• 1:16:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Using comedy.

• 1:16:17Bobby Lee?

  No, it's a tribe thing.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  I like your comedy.

• 1:16:19Bobby Lee?

  It's a tribe thing. I only know 150.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  It's a tribe thing.

• 1:16:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:22Speaker 04

  Do you know Sean Combs?

• 1:16:25Speaker 02

  P. Diddy.

• 1:16:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, P. Diddy. Yeah.

• 1:16:26Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't think he does.

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  Great parties.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  Great parties, I've heard, yeah.

• 1:16:30Speaker 02

  Why didn't that get a laugh? Is it too soon?

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  Because when it didn't get a laugh, because I don't follow the news. So when you ask me to riff on stuff, I'm like, I know he's in trouble, baby oil. I'm the guy, I get my news from the world. I hear it from people.

• 1:16:49Bobby Lee?

  I see.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  So I get it from an unreliable source, just not one that I have to pay.

• 1:16:53Bobby Lee?

  Or can I say this, I don't know much about it either. I just know that there was a party or whatever, but I never saw the documentary. I know bits and pieces. I think I'm like that with a lot of like major social, not major, um, you know, entertainment news and lore and all that stuff.

• 1:17:09Speaker 02

  I think the thing is like, as someone who's opted out of so many things, the updates, social media, all that stuff.

• 1:17:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:17Speaker 02

  You'll be fine. Like, people will tell you. Like, if you're like, oh, I can't get off Instagram, I won't know, you will. People are fucking summarizing that shit poorly.

• 1:17:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  That's all you're doing.

• 1:17:29Bobby Lee?

  Amen.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  You just stand in half horseshoe patterns going like, well, no, Elon just bought.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  And you're just like, alright, and you know as much as everybody.

• 1:17:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't think I've ever missed out on something from not reading or learning about it.

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  Just try, yeah, I love that. Just try it for, you could try it for a week. You'll be shocked at how little you miss.

• 1:17:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:50Bobby Lee?

  Interesting.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  What's your screen time?

• 1:17:53Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  What's your daily?

• 1:17:54Speaker 04

  Look at your phone.

• 1:17:55Speaker 00

  Open your phone.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  Open your phone.

• 1:17:56Speaker 00

  That'd be interesting.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  See how much you put on your phone. Should we all see ours?

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  I know mine.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  What's yours?

• 1:18:00Speaker 00

  Zero.

• 1:18:01Bobby Lee?

  How do you?

• 1:18:01Speaker 02

  Mine's a real flex.

• 1:18:02Bobby Lee?

  How do you?

• 1:18:03Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:18:03Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? What does the screen time mean?

• 1:18:04Speaker 00

  Go to settings.

• 1:18:05Speaker 04

  Settings.

• 1:18:06Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go to settings.

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  Type in screen time, maybe.

• 1:18:08Bobby Lee?

  And then what do I do?

• 1:18:09Speaker 00

  In the search.

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  You can also make it a widget on your phone.

• 1:18:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's smart. So search screen time?

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  I like you. What's your name again?

• 1:18:15Speaker 00

  Gilbert.

• 1:18:16Speaker 02

  Gilbert. Okay, I'm high today, fifty-four today.

• 1:18:19Speaker 00

  Fifty-four minutes?

• 1:18:19Bobby Lee?

  And then what do I do?

• 1:18:21Speaker 02

  See, that's the flex.

• 1:18:21Speaker 00

  Click the screen time.

• 1:18:22Speaker 02

  Only somebody with low screen time asks people to tell.

• 1:18:24Speaker 00

  What is your daily average? It says right now, daily average, yeah, okay, sure. Daily average at three hours and twenty-four minutes, but it does say here fifty-three percent down from last week.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  Wow, okay, so you were?

• 1:18:37Speaker 04

  That's six hours.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  Five, six hours.

• 1:18:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, six hours, almost seven hours a day. So basically a nine-

• 1:18:41Bobby Lee?

  That's good, right?

• 1:18:41Speaker 00

  A nine-to-five job, where someone works nine-to-five, you're on your phone.

• 1:18:44Bobby Lee?

  Is that good?

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  That's normal.

• 1:18:45Speaker 04

  Now you'll know.

• 1:18:46Speaker 00

  Seven's about normal. Fifty-four minutes, wow.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  I didn't have mine on.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, if you click it again. Here, hold on.

• 1:18:55Speaker 00

  One more time. Well, Pete wins. Fifty-four minutes is kinda crazy. Just wait, how do you consume your podcasts or anything else?

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  It doesn't count podcasts. We're talking about looking at a screen.

• 1:19:04Speaker 00

  But see, we do our podcast on YouTube.

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You can still listen to it if you turn the screen on.

• 1:19:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it still counts as a screen time. Even if you close it off? Yeah.

• 1:19:13Bobby Lee?

  So I stare at my screen for three hours and 24 minutes.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  It's actually really low. It's saying it's down 50%.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  Really? That might be why mine's 54, cuz I haven't been looking at my phone, but I listen to a podcast all the way down on YouTube.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Can I ask you, in the morning, how long do you go before you check your phone?

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  Love this question.

• 1:19:31Speaker 00

  Do you biohack a little bit?

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  I do, I do, yeah, all that, I do.

• 1:19:35Speaker 00

  Red light therapy, maybe?

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  I do red light therapy, but not religiously. I have it in, I have a sauna.

• 1:19:41Speaker 00

  Cold plunge?

• 1:19:41Speaker 02

  A cold plunge, yeah, all that stuff. I don't look at my phone. I'll take my phone.

• 1:19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:47Speaker 02

  And I'll put it in my pocket, but I won't look at it. And I love that question because I noticed that my best time is the two hours before I look at my phone.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  And what psycho needs a reply at 8:00 in the morning?

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  No one.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  Or 7:00 in the morning? Nobody.

• 1:20:01Speaker 04

  Maybe debt collectors.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  Exactly. So you're sitting down, you get creativity first.

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  It sets your brain for the rest of the day.

• 1:20:08Speaker 02

  I do email and text at like noon.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  Like, I'll try and, I'll try to go that long. But you know, you look at it, you look at the home screen to see if there's any like emergencies or anything.

• 1:20:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  And I also do wanna say this, that there's some, that, not Bobby, but there are some people that don't have that luxury. Like, but there are a lot of people who do have that luxury, who do not take advantage of it.

• 1:20:28Speaker 04

  Totally. Do you charge your phone outside of your bedroom?

• 1:20:31Speaker 02

  I don't, but it's far from my bed.

• 1:20:32Speaker 00

  I started that this year, no phone in the room.

• 1:20:34Speaker 02

  Nice. Difference? Sorry.

• 1:20:36Speaker 00

  Big difference.

• 1:20:37Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, what?

• 1:20:38Speaker 02

  In what, sleep?

• 1:20:39Bobby Lee?

  You don't charge your phone in your bedroom?

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:20:41Speaker 00

  Not anymore.

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  No, outside.

• 1:20:42Bobby Lee?

  Where do you charge it?

• 1:20:42Speaker 00

  Upstairs. Different room.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  Bathroom.

• 1:20:45Bobby Lee?

  So how does you, how do you wake up?

• 1:20:46Speaker 04

  By 10:00 PM.

• 1:20:47Speaker 00

  I get alarm.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  Analog clock.

• 1:20:48Bobby Lee?

  This is my alarm clock.

• 1:20:49Speaker 00

  Children. Don't use it.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  Oh, children will do it.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  Oh, children. Yeah, children.

• 1:20:53Speaker 00

  I open all my shades so the sun comes in.

• 1:20:54Bobby Lee?

  Can I just say, this is lying, because I got up at noon, and it already says I have an hour and 30 minutes to screen time. That's, it makes no sense.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  It does.

• 1:21:03Speaker 02

  It's almost four o'clock, though.

• 1:21:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, you had time.

• 1:21:07Bobby Lee?

  I spent an hour and thirty minutes.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  It's adding it up. Every time you're on.

• 1:21:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right now it's adding.

• 1:21:12Speaker 00

  Think about us in Vegas, dude. Us just eating. You know how often we're just like, we're talking.

• 1:21:17Bobby Lee?

  Ah, you're right, my Filipino friend.

• 1:21:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Alright, so Pete, do you still have, do you want to promote anything?

• 1:21:27Speaker 02

  I have a special, I have a tour. Go to petehomes.com. I just had to cancel some tour dates, which was such a bummer.

• 1:21:32Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  I had the stomach flu.

• 1:21:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  Awful. It was awful. But Miami, I have a monthly show in LA at Largo, as we've discussed.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Awesome.

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Royal Oak, Michigan Irving, Texas Irving, yeah. Madison, Wisconsin, Denver. I don't have a lot of dates right now.

• 1:21:48Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  We're going, we're stepping back to one a month.

• 1:21:50Bobby Lee?

  You have a pod?

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  I have a podcast called You Made It Weird. Bobby's been on it.

• 1:21:54Bobby Lee?

  I have?

• 1:21:55Speaker 00

  You have been on it? Yes, you have, dude. Episode 399.

• 1:21:58Speaker 03

  Even I know that.

• 1:21:58Speaker 04

  He's got like podcast.

• 1:22:00Bobby Lee?

  When did I do it? I went to your house?

• 1:22:01Speaker 00

  Nerdus, I think.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  You did it at Nerdus, yeah. This was before.

• 1:22:05Speaker 00

  2018.

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  I've been doing my podcast for over a decade, so it was.

• 1:22:07Bobby Lee?

  Oh, a long time ago. I remember.

• 1:22:10Speaker 02

  Well, you were going through girl stuff. It might have been with you.

• 1:22:13Bobby Lee?

  I think so.

• 1:22:13Speaker 03

  We were fully together.

• 1:22:14Bobby Lee?

  In 2019?

• 1:22:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:16Speaker 02

  No, 18.

• 1:22:17Bobby Lee?

  2018.

• 1:22:18Speaker 03

  We were fully no problem together.

• 1:22:20Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 1:22:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  So it wasn't girl stuff, but I remember we, I encountered your tender heart.

• 1:22:25Speaker 05

  Pete, we're holding this until your special releases on 800 Pound Gorillas website.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  Yes, on February 23rd?

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  It just released.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:22:35Speaker 05

  Yesterday.

• 1:22:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:22:36Bobby Lee?

  How many specials have you done?

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  This is my sixth.

• 1:22:39Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:22:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. That is, thank you. That's something to be proud of.

• 1:22:45Bobby Lee?

  Last week one was my first.

• 1:22:46Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:22:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:47Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:22:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Your sixth one?

• 1:22:50Speaker 02

  Well, I did a record with Comedy Central called Impregnated with Wonder. That was my first hour. That's that like, you work on it for 10 years hour. It's really, it holds a special.

• 1:22:58Bobby Lee?

  That was my.

• 1:22:59Speaker 00

  Work for 30 years.

• 1:23:00Bobby Lee?

  Mine was 30 years.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  And then I did one with Comedy Central called Nice Try the Devil. And then I did one on HBO called Faces and Sounds. Then I did another one on HBO called Dirty Clean. Then I did one on Netflix called I Am Not For Everybody. And now I have a new one called Silly, Silly Fun Boy, and it's on YouTube.

• 1:23:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:23:18Speaker 04

  So cool.

• 1:23:19Speaker 05

  The website right now, sorry. It's the website right now, and it'll be on YouTube in a month.

• 1:23:23Speaker 02

  Oh, it's on 800 Pound Gorilla's website right now. Okay, so it's like a pre-release thing. Um, yeah, and we're trying to get, because, uh, the way Netflix does it now, we're not, uh, I Am Not For Everybody's not on Netflix anymore, so we're gonna get it on my YouTube.

• 1:23:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, nice. Oh, cool.

• 1:23:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:39Bobby Lee?

  You get to re-own it.

• 1:23:41Speaker 02

  Re-own it.

• 1:23:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, maybe I'll tell you later. What do you mean, what the heck?

• 1:23:44Speaker 04

  Okay, sorry.

• 1:23:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. What is your fucking problem, man? We give you opportunity here.

• 1:23:50Speaker 04

  I ask, what?

• 1:23:50Bobby Lee?

  No, no, we give you opportunity, you know, I'm, I'm always pulling for you. And then all of a sudden, what the heck? What's going on, dude?

• 1:23:57Speaker 04

  You got a little, you remember when you said the ice, ice water?

• 1:23:59Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, what you gotta do, what you gotta do is check yourself sometimes.

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  Turning cold.

• 1:24:04Bobby Lee?

  I swear to God, dude, alright? Check yourself.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  Do you work for him in another capacity?

• 1:24:09Speaker 04

  Not really.

• 1:24:11Bobby Lee?

  She, uh, you open for him sometimes?

• 1:24:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes.

• 1:24:14Bobby Lee?

  Not really, huh? That's very interesting behavior.

• 1:24:17Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:24:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:19Speaker 03

  Sorry, Cat.

• 1:24:21Bobby Lee?

  It really is the cold shower thing you just said.

• 1:24:23Speaker 03

  I got you, I'm here.

• 1:24:24Bobby Lee?

  I'm not nice?

• 1:24:25Speaker 04

  No, you are nice.

• 1:24:26Speaker 02

  Wow. Do nice people do this? I'm not nice?

• 1:24:31Speaker 02

  Do nice people do that?

• 1:24:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they do. Love you.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  Glad I'm here.

• 1:24:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glad you're here, too.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  Kind of buffer the power dynamic.

• 1:24:37Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you, I'll tell you this, I'll tell you this, Pete. You come back every year.

• 1:24:43Bobby Lee?

  You drive two hours to come here. I don't care. Every year you come back.

• 1:24:47Speaker 02

  Monday is my LA day. You can have me any Monday.

• 1:24:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, uh, we don't really have people come back every year. How many people come back? I mean, Theo's done like nine times. Yeah, yeah. You come back as often as you want because I had a good time with it. It's weird. Oh, listen to this episode.

• 1:25:04Speaker 02

  Oh, there it is. Two hours.

• 1:25:06Bobby Lee?

  You did it in 2018. 2018. Oh. Damn, you did a two hour pod? Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, that was good.

• 1:25:12Speaker 04

  I love that picture.

• 1:25:13Bobby Lee?

  Splitting up together. Oh, that was on that sitcom.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  I drew that.

• 1:25:16Speaker 04

  That's cool.

• 1:25:16Bobby Lee?

  Remember I was on that sitcom?

• 1:25:18Speaker 02

  Do you remember?

• 1:25:20Bobby Lee?

  Do you guys remember? It's so funny. You know, I look back at my, sometimes I look back at my career and go, oh, yeah, I did that.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Bobby Lee?

  You know, you kind of forget or whatever.

• 1:25:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a nice thing.

• 1:25:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a nice thing. Like, do you look back at Crashing with fondness?

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  I'm waiting to get to the point where I can watch it. When people tell me that they like it and they find it funny, I find that very confusing.

• 1:25:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Why? You can't watch it?

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  No, when I watch it, we used to, I edited the show, was involved in the editing. It was very hard. And watching myself and, and I used to sing the song where I went, "Every shot a memory." So every shot, I would remember that day, that lunch, those people, how I felt, how it went, how I thought it would go. It's overwhelming. So maybe it's been enough time that I could watch it and just see it as a show. Because I'm sure, like, we're rewatching Flight of the Conchords right now, me and my wife, and I was like, I love it, and I'm sure those guys are like, "Oh, that was the day that we couldn't get in the, in the back door thing."

• 1:26:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right.

• 1:26:23Speaker 02

  You know, like, they had some conflict or something.

• 1:26:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Speaker 02

  So I'd like to see it anew, but I haven't yet.

• 1:26:30Bobby Lee?

  I can't do it.

• 1:26:31Speaker 02

  Have you seen it as a young comic? I'm curious.

• 1:26:32Speaker 04

  Crashing?

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't have to have.

• 1:26:34Speaker 04

  I have.

• 1:26:34Speaker 02

  I'm just curious because it's kind of for you guys. That was the hope, is to capture the vibe of the starting.

• 1:26:40Bobby Lee?

  Be honest, did you see it?

• 1:26:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:26:42Speaker 02

  I like that. You should always be smoking.

• 1:26:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  Mikey and I watched this together.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  Oh, cute. I hated that picture. Jed pushed for that picture.

• 1:26:54Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:26:54Speaker 02

  I hated it.

• 1:26:55Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:26:57Speaker 02

  I just, what am I doing? Yawning, yelling? We took all these great, like, oh, I'm sleepy, I'm put out, I'm forlorn. That really is on Minetta Lane, right by the Comedy Cellar. We really put that joke there.

• 1:27:10Speaker 04

  I kinda get it, though. I mean, I could...

• 1:27:11Speaker 02

  I mean, he knows what he's doing. I didn't push back. In fact, I didn't push back the entire show. It was great.

• 1:27:17Bobby Lee?

  You can't with Jed.

• 1:27:18Speaker 02

  I think you can. Some people do.

• 1:27:20Bobby Lee?

  Uh, yeah. I don't.

• 1:27:21Speaker 02

  But I never did.

• 1:27:21Bobby Lee?

  I never do.

• 1:27:23Speaker 02

  Honestly, Bobby, I feel like you could.

• 1:27:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't think so. If he... If he gave me a... If Jed gave me a note, I would do the note. Jed, can you give him a note?

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  I just feel like we could see your butthole later.

• 1:27:35Bobby Lee?

  Alright, Bobby, respond. No, I didn't. That's my opener.

• 1:27:38Speaker 02

  No, no, you don't wanna open with butthole.

• 1:27:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:41Speaker 02

  You open with...

• 1:27:41Bobby Lee?

  People like it, though. It tests well.

• 1:27:42Speaker 02

  Tease it with the tape.

• 1:27:44Bobby Lee?

  Alright, Jed. Okay.

• 1:27:45Speaker 02

  Tease with the tape.

• 1:27:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 02

  Too many people do, Trump.

• 1:27:49Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, Pete, I had a really good time with you today.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  Thanks, Bobby.

• 1:27:52Bobby Lee?

  Thanks for being part of our program.

• 1:27:55Speaker 02

  Thanks, man.

• 1:27:55Bobby Lee?

  We'll try not to cut all the... your zingers out.

• 1:27:58Speaker 02

  You can't cut the zingers.

• 1:27:59Bobby Lee?

  Cause you have really good zingers in there.

• 1:28:00Speaker 02

  You can't cut it.

• 1:28:00Speaker 04

  The spade thing's too good.

• 1:28:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we'll see. But there's a lot of stuff that's, um...

• 1:28:06Speaker 02

  Come on, Filipino.

• 1:28:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but the Filipino stuff stays in. But, um, sorry about your Robin Hood, that whole joke. I don't know if that worked.

• 1:28:13Speaker 04

  I think it did.

• 1:28:14Bobby Lee?

  It's a good jacket. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I learned a lot from you today about tribes and elitism and Largo and stuff like that and, uh...

• 1:28:22Bobby Lee?

  And your cool friends. But anyway, no, I really do. I really... He wants to be invited. I've... No, I've done it. I've also... I've also been a very big...

• 1:28:29Speaker 02

  Doesn't sound like you like it.

• 1:28:30Bobby Lee?

  I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of yours.

• 1:28:32Speaker 02

  I appreciate it.

• 1:28:32Bobby Lee?

  And I really think you're so great.

• 1:28:33Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 1:28:34Bobby Lee?

  And you know, I'll tell you another thing, you know what I mean, if this means anything. You've always been just such a nice guy.

• 1:28:39Speaker 02

  I appreciate that, of course.

• 1:28:40Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm being real. Like, there's not... I've never heard anything negative about you ever. You know what I mean? And so I think you're a kind guy. Thanks for driving, like, all that way to come here.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  I didn't. I come to LA every month.

• 1:28:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, anyway, and, um, what a voyage.

• 1:28:53Speaker 04

  What a voyage.

• 1:28:54Speaker 02

  And please, not a...

• 1:28:55Bobby Lee?

  What a journey.

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  Hurts me more.

• 1:28:56Bobby Lee?

  And thank you so much for being here.

• 1:28:57Speaker 02

  And people think I live too far to do this.

• 1:28:59Bobby Lee?

  And have a nice happy birthday to me because of my sobriety.

• 1:29:02Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 1:29:02Speaker 04

  Happy birthday.

• 1:29:03Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna relapse. No. I'm gonna... I'm gonna kill myself. I want Pete here, don't relapse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, give Pete a round of applause.

• 1:29:08Speaker 02

  Woo!

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