I Have Some Thoughts Minisode | Glorilla & Her Sister Talk Money, the Atlanta Dream in the Finals

Welcome back to our minisode series, "I Have Some Thoughts." These short episodes are designed to contextualize the pop culture moments we're currently paying attention to through a mental health lens. Pop culture isn't just fun to chat about, it can reveal important information about how we relate, cope, and understand ourselves. Join us each Friday to hear Dr. Joy share her thoughts about the happenings of the week. This week, we're chatting about Glorilla's sister apologizing after calling Glorilla out for allegedly not financially supporting her family and the tension around securing a location for the Atlanta Dream to play in the finals. Stay Connected​https://click.convertkit-mail.com/27uv20p9mpioh8edr34s8ug63w344hg/58hvh8ug08p6wzc6/dGhlcmFweWZvcmJsYWNrZ2lybHMuY29tb3JibGFja2dpcmxzLmNvbS9wYXRyZW9u Wanna chat more about the pop culture hot topics of the week? Join us inside our Patreon https://community.therapyforblackgirls.com/ community. Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory. Make sure to follow us on social media: Instagram: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.instagram.com/therapyforblackgirls Threads: @therapyforblackgirls https://www.threads.com/therapyforblackgirls Our Production Team Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis Producer: Ndeye Thioubou Production Assistant: Bria Mosley See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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  A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. In season seven of Untold Stories, Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, host Martine Hackett continues the conversation with people living with MG, CIDP, and the broader rare disease community, exploring what comes after diagnosis through stories of hope, progress, and connection. Produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenx. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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• 2:27Speaker 04

  Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Call 1-800-545-5979, or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Hey, y'all. Welcome back to I Have Some Thoughts, our Therapy for Black Girls mini-so series, where we're talking about all things pop culture, but of course, from a mental health lens. And I am back today with Elise. Hey, Elise.

• 3:32Speaker 05

  Hey, Dr. Joy. I'm excited for today's topics because one of them I really resonate with. And so we're just gonna go ahead and start off with that one. So everyone, we love Glorilla, but her sister, Victoria Woods, has publicly apologized after a family feud that played out on social media for months. In February, Victoria accused Glorilla of neglecting her family and argued that her sister had an obligation to share her wealth. The rapper pushed back, saying she does support her family, asking her sister to stop airing Family Matters publicly, alluding to painful experiences from their childhood. Victoria took to social media a few days ago to share that now she's earning money herself

• 4:17Speaker 05

  and is experiencing the repeated request for financial help that can come with that. And she really does understand her sister's perspective. And she went on to apologize for feeling entitled to her support. And I think there's kind of like two things going on here. How do you like repair a relationship after public embarrassment and hurt, but also having like family history, intention that goes back for years? But then I also think there's the financial piece when it comes to, we've talked about this on the pod, like a black tax, and I feel like a lot of people of color experiences when you maybe move into a new socioeconomic bracket and you feel the obligation to support your family.

• 5:00Speaker 05

  And so my first question here is that family relationships can be so complicated because you can be genuinely hurt by someone and still love them. How do you make sense of those two feelings existing at the same time?

• 5:13Speaker 01

  Hmm, so much going on here. And I feel like it is really interesting that there are so many finance conversations we've been having recently. I think that kind of speaks to just the state of the world. But I think it also speaks to the way that finances can be such a tricky and triggering topic for us to talk about within the confines of relationships. So I just think that that's interesting. So one, you know, to your point around like this public kind of disagreeing, we want to try to avoid that at all costs, right? Like calling out people who you have actual relationships with online is typically not a good strategy. Like it just doesn't typically end well. And so, you know, as much as possible, I think we should refrain from like trying to call out

• 5:54Speaker 01

  family members, friends online if we could actually have that conversation in the confines of a text message. Right? But I think your point around like, how do you hold that you really care for somebody, but also feel really hurt? Like, I think that that is what it means to be human, right? And I think when we have hurt somebody, typically the way that we think about like repair is that it really rests within the hands of the person who has been betrayed or hurt in some way, right? So I think it was a really good idea to publicly apologize since the confrontation was public. But I think offering an apology and then working to make amends for whatever you've done to hurt somebody is a really good strategy.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  But ultimately, the person who has been hurt is the one who decides whether they want to continue in relationship with you, whether they feel like you've made amends enough, right? Like, I think sometimes we hurt somebody and then we say, okay, well, I apologize. Like, we should just move on now. You don't get to decide that. And so I think that she has taken some good steps. And I think a good idea for other people to kind of take from if you hurt somebody, to apologize in the same way that you harmed them, and also to offer to make amends, and also to understand that they typically get to dictate what it looks like for repairs to actually happen in that relationship.

• 7:09Speaker 05

  Absolutely. I've been in situations with family, not with family, where I've had to check myself about like, girl, this person is on their own timeline for healing and for reaching out. And one time, my cousin said, when I was going through a breakup, like, you can't produce this breakup. And you know, as a producer, it stuck with me like, yeah, I cannot manufacture this timeline to where someone is gonna feel okay with something that I may have done. But I want to circle to the financial part for the next, you know, piece of this conversation. We are all in community with each other. And I don't think it's like crazy when, you know, you see people asking their family for money. But it is a very uncomfortable topic, especially being someone who is Glorilla's age.

• 7:53Speaker 05

  I think she's definitely under 35, feeling this financial burden for your entire family. And I know we've talked a little bit about this on the podcast, but you know, on both ends, someone who may need financial help, looking to a sibling or looking to someone who has quote-unquote "made it", what expectations should you be setting for yourself to not come off as entitled, but also to be the person who is the quote-unquote "breadwinner"? How do you set boundaries with family? How do you have conversations about your finances and what you are able to do and what you're not able to do?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. So I think, one, a lot of it is in the asking, right? And so, you know, there's no harm in asking, right? Like, hard times happen to all of us. And so if you need help and there is somebody in your life that you expect may be able to help you, I don't think that there is any harm in asking. But there is harm, I think, in feeling entitled that this person must do this just because it's your sister or whatever, right? But I don't think that there's any harm in asking. And so I think a part of reducing any tension and friction is to kind of humbly ask like, hey, I hate to do this, but I'm really struggling and I could use some help with my rent this month. And making the ask very clear, right? Like, not just saying like, I need help, but hey, can you loan me $750 to pay my rent this month?

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Here are my expectations for when I think I may be able to pay you back. I think that that also goes a long way, right? Like, not having somebody have to anticipate when they're gonna get their money back, but that you actually have a plan for when you're going to pay them back. And then if that plan should fall through, being honest and upfront about that. Like, you know, I had planned to pay you back next month, but this fell through. Can I offer maybe a portion of this money as opposed to the full amount, right? I think those kinds of efforts go a long way towards like establishing trust and like continuing to have good relationships with people, because stuff happens, right? But I think what often happens is that we get really embarrassed, or we feel ashamed that we're not able to pay it back in the ways that we thought we might.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  And then we just don't say anything, which then makes the person that loaned the money feel like, well, I should not- Have done this, or you know, this person is not as trustworthy as I thought. And so I think if we can kind of keep the lines of communication open, I think that that goes a long way. Now, for the person who maybe is being asked for money, I do think it is important for you to have some boundaries around how much you can actually reasonably offer to loan to other people without putting yourself in a bad situation, right? I know we've had that conversation here, that it is of course, good and healthy to offer assistance to people if you feel like you want to, but not to the extent where you are setting yourself up for a bad situation, right?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  I think it is a wise idea not to loan more than you actually can stand to lose, right? So, we don't want to start a situation where this person can't pay their rent, and then they're asking you, and then you loan the money, and now you can't pay your rent because you loaned them the money, right? Like, what kind of amount can you actually set aside if there is an amount? It could be that there is not, because I think sometimes we think that we know how much people are making, right? So she's probably thinking, oh, my sister's like this superstar rapper, and da, da, da. We've all heard like stories of actors and entertainers that break down the finances, and people are not actually making as much as you might think. And so I think for the person who is being asked to loan money, it is important for you to kind of figure out, maybe with your financial team, right?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Like your accountant or your bookkeeper. Okay, these are situations that might come up now that I am in a different tax bracket. Help me figure out what kind of dash can I put away if my family needs to ask for money, right? Like, I think that that is probably a good idea, because it does feel like these kinds of things do tend to come up.

• 11:38Speaker 05

  I absolutely love that, and I think one of my mottos is like, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. And so, ask for what you want. It's not always a guarantee, you shouldn't be entitled, but I also think it really does help, like, I need this, this is the amount, this is when I plan on paying it back. All of those things are so important. Like you said, it does build trust. When it's a vague ask, when you don't know when it's coming back, it's like, well, why would I do that? That's so silly.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  The third beat of conversation that I have for this topic is about the sibling of it all, and about like, the deep family hurt. And we've had a sibling series where we've had siblings come on the podcast and talk about conflict repair. Like we said earlier, how conflict repair can take years. And I think something that can feel embarrassing, and I felt a lot of shame for it, is having conflict with your siblings. And this is a whole different register of it, because it's so public, but I, I do have empathy for feeling like maybe someone abandoned you, or like there's a rift in the relationship that you just can't seem to get over.

• 12:49Speaker 05

  And I'm wondering, kind of what words of encouragement or affirmation could you have for someone who's in a lull in a different period with their siblings, like Glorilla and her sister Victoria were in, where you're not talking, and there is conflict, and you have to sit with that, especially knowing that, hey, there was this time, maybe five years ago, maybe when we were kids, where everything just seemed so normal and seemed so connected. How do you sit with that uncomfortable feeling of, it's just not like that right now? Especially when people have their siblings that they love, you know what I'm saying? Like Beyonce and Solange, and they probably have their own drama, but we just see these beautiful sibling duos, and you're like, I don't really have that right now.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, so one, I think that that is a reminder to us that just because we see something publicly, that that does not mean it's the entirety of the story, right? We can all put up pretty pictures and sell different kinds of narratives, but that doesn't mean we can all look under the hood and see exactly what's happening. So I do encourage us not to look too closely to comparing our sibling relationships to those that we see publicly, because we don't always know the full story. So I would start there. I would also encourage people to just remember that conflict is not always an awful thing. It really just means that like, there is life to this relationship, right? It means that we disagree, that we may not be on the same page about the same thing currently, but it doesn't have to mean that we love each other any less. And I think that the really healthy thing to really think about is, how do you move

• 14:16Speaker 01

  through the conflict? And so just because there is a conflict, doesn't mean it has to be the end of the relationship. And I think oftentimes, we think it is, because so many of us have not been taught how to actually manage conflict. How do you say, ouch, something hurt me? How do you tell your sister or brother, you know, you betrayed me in some way, and I'm deeply hurt by this? Like, we have to be okay saying those things and trusting then, that the relationship can handle you being very vulnerable and saying some things, even when it may not feel pleasant. And I think, you know, is even if you are the sibling who your sibling has now said this to you, to try not to act out of defensiveness, because I think that is our automatic response sometimes, right? Like, oh, they are calling me a bad sister, right?

• 14:57Speaker 01

  As opposed to, hey, something happened here, and I love my sister, so how can we slow down and maybe get back on the same page? There's no shame in going to therapy together. I think a couple of the siblings we talked to even talked about having people come in, like going to therapy together. Like, couples therapy isn't just for romantic partners, it can be for all kinds of like dyads and triads of relationships. And so if you've gotten to an impasse in your sibling relationship and feel like bringing up another person in like a therapist, there is no shame in that to help you to get back on track in the relationship.

• 15:29Speaker 05

  That was such a good reminder, that conflict means the relationship is alive. And it seems like a messy thing to say, but it's also indicative that somebody cares. You know, if someone's feelings are able to be heard, and there's a little tension, it's like, okay, someone cares enough to feel something, and I often have to remind myself of that.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. More from our conversation after the break. A rare disease diagnosis can change your life, but it doesn't have to define your future. Tune in for season seven of Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition, a Ruby Studio production in partnership with Argenx. Hosted by public health and policy expert Dr. Martine Hackett, Untold Stories: Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition pushes the conversation within the rare disease community forward. Featuring guests living with MG, CIDP, myositis, SMA, and other rare autoimmune conditions, each episode explores hope, progress, and connection. How does research create new opportunities? How do shared experiences help light the way forward? How do we best show up for each other?

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Tune in to find out. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound Terzepatide may be able to help. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity, or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Terzepatide and should not be used with other Terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens or reuse needles.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  Call 1-800-545-5979, or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 18:16Speaker 05

  Okay, so moving to something I know is one of your favorite topics, Dr. Joy. The Atlanta Dream reached the 2026 WNBA Finals, but the team initially faced uncertainty over whether it could play its home finals game at State Farm Arena, the venue it shares with the Atlanta Hawks. There were scheduling conflicts, including like a concert, Hawks games, that threatened to push home games to Gateway Center Arena, a much smaller venue, and it's also the WNBA's smallest arena. The situation drew attention to the unequal infrastructure and resources available to women's and men's professional sports. You could say the same thing about podcasting. The dispute was ultimately resolved, and the Dream and Hawks announced that finals

• 19:01Speaker 05

  game three and four would take place at State Farm Arena, with schedule changes made to accommodate both teams. What, okay, this is a great one for us. What does it do to your confidence and mental health when you're good at what you do, you've earned your place, and you still have to fight to be taken seriously?

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Wow. I think it can be a real shot to your confidence, right? Like this idea that I have done all the things, you know, I checked all the boxes. I climbed all of the ladders and it still feels like people are not taking me seriously or not kind of giving me the praise that maybe I think I expect. And I think that that is when you have to go back to, I don't know what podcast episode it was we talked about, but I talked about making yourself a girl you did that folder, right? Where you save the accomplishments and you save the praise from listeners and the good emails you've gotten from supervisors because there will be those hard days that cause you to question, am I actually good enough to do this, right? Like, does any of this matter? And so when something like this happens that is outside of your control, I think

• 20:06Speaker 01

  being able to go back to your evidence folder to suggest, hey, this is why you're doing this. This is how people have really been impacted by your work, I think can be a really good balance to some of these messages that we get. But I do think it can be a shot to your confidence because you expect that if you've done all the things, then these doors should open for you when sadly that is not always the case.

• 20:28Speaker 05

  I love that advice about just documenting your wins. Even when you mess up, it helps remind you like, okay, I've done this. That does not negate anything else that happened. So even outside of this situation, I think that's great advice. I keep thinking about what it must feel like to make it all the way to the WNBA finals and then have to worry about where you're going to play. And how do you also, like, you answered this a little bit, but what happens when you have to constantly prove that you deserve to be in the room and that you deserve just like your basic resources? Because it's like, duh, we're a team. We need somewhere to play, but also we need a larger arena because it is the finals.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I think in, in following the conversation a little bit this week, it feels like the players really were only focused on getting prepared for the games and weren't kind of really going down a rabbit hole of like, oh my goodness, where are we going to play? And I think it also speaks to how the, the team has grown and how women's sports and women's basketball specifically has grown, that the team had already announced that next year's games will already be played at state farm, right? And so I think that that probably helps to kind of soften the blow that, okay, we didn't expect, you know, this to kind of take off the way that it did this year. And then we reached the finals and so logistically it just became difficult. And so I think, again, not focusing on the things that are outside of you, but like, what are the things that you actually have control over?

• 21:58Speaker 01

  What kinds of things can you do to kind of make sure that you are prepared for this moment that could be, you know, once in a lifetime? I think really trusting your work and like focusing on the things that you actually have control over. Now, that doesn't mean that afterwards, we might not revisit this and write and say like, hey, this kind of sucked. I don't appreciate kind of being put in this situation. But I think when you have a moment like reaching the WNBA finals, like I feel like it has to kind of supersede everything else that is going on outside of that, like just being prepared for that moment. And even if you come back to it later, really not wanting to like waste any of your energy, not locking in to try to make sure that you didn't come this far to only come this far, right? And that we actually bring the championship home.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Even when you're like, okay, I can control what I can control, which is something I say to myself a lot, you can still feel like, well, this is unfair. And the system is set up against me. How do you protect your mental health without convincing yourself that something is okay when it isn't? Cause I also think this conversation extends beyond just the players. Like even as fans, I think a lot of women can just resonate with, oh my God, I've done so much. I've accomplished so much, but what I've done pales in comparison to what the quote unquote, boys have done, even if that's not true. That's how it's being perceived and that's how they're being treated.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  And I think that can be a really hard thing to sit with.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm, mm hmm. As a Libra, I have a very strong sense of justice. So I definitely get this idea of this isn't fair, right? Like I have done all the things to our earlier conversation, like I've done all the things, like I deserve to have this moment. And I think you bring up a great point that even if reality doesn't match with what we think we are owed in a moment, we don't have to pretend as if it's not happening, right? And so I think it is about allowing yourself to feel whatever it is that you're feeling, right? And not to gaslight yourself and to think like, oh, it's not that big of a deal, right? Like we will just figure it out. Yes, that may be the case and it still sucks that we had to be put in this situation, right? Like I think this is a situation where you are holding two truths at the same time.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  So we're not erasing our own feelings or trying to pretend as if it's not as big of a deal. And we're also making space for, we're going to make the best of this situation because we're in the finals, right? And I think that that is a message to ourselves. Even if things are not working out the ways that we want to in this moment, we can still trust that we've done what we needed to do to meet the moment and to expect that things will change or maybe even work for things to change so that this doesn't happen to you again or to happen to someone else again. But you bring up an excellent point and about not making it seem as if it's not a big deal, right? Like, I don't think we do ourselves or other people a favor when we pretend as if something isn't a big deal, but we can hold that and hold the idea that we can make the best of

• 24:55Speaker 01

  a bad situation even as it's playing out.

• 24:58Speaker 05

  Well, thank you for that. I think that is really great advice and Libras definitely do have a strong sense of justice. Like two things can be true at one time. So thank you for that, Dr. Joy.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Thank you, Elise. Great topics as always. And if there are things that you'd like to hear us weigh on, weigh in on, please send those to us at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox. And until next time, taking care of yourself.

• 25:29Speaker 01

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• 26:07Speaker 06

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  Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zepbound Terzepatide may be able to help. Zepbound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. Zepbound is approved as a 2.5, 5, 7.5, 10, 12.5, or 15-milligram injection. Zepbound contains Terzepatide and should not be used with other Terzepatide-containing products or any GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens or reuse needles.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulphonal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Call 1-800-545-5979 or visit zepbound.lily.com.

• 28:04Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.