Pod Insights Therapuss with Jake Shane Session 86: Selena Gomez About this episode I’ve never been more excited and nervous in my entire life…
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Transcript 11,853 words · 4 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
0:39 Speaker 01 Hi pussies. I am just as shocked as you are, to be honest. When I received the text that this was a possibility, that Selena Gomez could come on Therapuss, I literally thought about the first time I ever recorded this podcast with Julia. And just, I had zero expectations. I didn't know how well it was gonna do, if anyone was gonna care.
1:09 Speaker 01 But you guys really showed up for me, and you are all the reason that this happened. I mean, I've been a fan of Selena Gomez. I feel like that's so redundant to say. I feel like everyone's like, you know what I mean? I feel like that's Selena Gomez, who she's, not to overuse the word, but iconic. And to have her on this show was so crazy. She was so lovely. The entire time, I just couldn't believe she was here. Really just thank you guys, first and foremost, for allowing something like this to even happen.
1:43 Speaker 01 But we have Selena Gomez on tonight. We got to talk about Disney. We talked about rare beauty. We talked about Selena Gomez and the scene. We talked about only murders in the building. We talked about everything. And she is just, I can't say it enough, so wonderful. And so, Selena, thank you for coming on. I really don't think it needs any further introduction. I really hope you guys enjoyed the episode. To submit Tell Me What's Wrong, go to passthatpuss.com and click Tell Me What's Wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. And I present to you Therapuss with Selena Gomez. Love you pussies.
2:19 Speaker 01 Hi pussies.
2:22 Speaker 01 Welcome back to Therapists. From wizardry to solving murders, from number one singles to Oscar nominated films, and now a billion dollar beauty empire, the queen, the greatest of all time, Selena Gomez is here.
2:36 Speaker 02 I think you just wrote my vows.
2:38 Speaker 01 No, I practiced that all morning.
2:40 Speaker 02 You are so sweet. No, this is so exciting. Thank you for having me.
2:45 Speaker 01 Thank you for being here. I don't think I've ever been so excited and nervous for a guest before in my life.
2:50 Speaker 02 Oh, no. Oh, I shouldn't. That should be the opposite, especially when you hang out with me. You'll know in five minutes that I'm not that cool, so.
2:58 Speaker 01 Okay, well, everyone was saying, she's like, she's the most calming person. Like, she'll bring you, she'll bring you peace. I was like, okay, great.
3:05 Speaker 02 Good. I like that.
3:07 Speaker 01 Happy belated.
3:08 Speaker 02 Thank you.
3:09 Speaker 01 How was your birthday?
3:10 Speaker 02 It was so much fun. I, to be honest, I didn't really want anything because it was 33. So I just, a dinner would be, you know, nice. And Benny, my fiance, just was like, oh, maybe we'll just throw something at a place and then a few people will come. And only 20 people to 30 people were there because I wanted a dinner.
3:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:35 Speaker 02 But it was so nice. It's like, imagine going to a party before it gets really rowdy and then it stays that initial group. And then you all just get rowdy together and then you end the night together. So it was one of those unexpected lovely birthdays, for sure.
3:52 Speaker 01 That sounds amazing.
3:53 Speaker 02 I thought I'd have dinner and like, that's it, with my pajamas on.
3:57 Speaker 01 But you had a lovely.
3:58 Speaker 02 I did. So thank you for asking.
4:00 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Well, happy belated. Are you enjoying your 30s so far?
4:04 Speaker 02 Oh, boy, am I. Yes. A lot of my life, I wouldn't say has become clearer because that would be ignorant of me. I think there's so much more I'm meant to learn and to do and will always be saying that no matter what age. I, I do feel, however, I've let a lot of things just like slide off my back, if that makes sense. It's not, it's not something that I try to do consciously. It's just, I do believe the older you get, the less you care about the things you thought you did before.
4:38 Speaker 01 Right.
4:38 Speaker 02 So it feels, it feels really great, you know, in my 30s. I You know, we've been doing the brand and I got engaged and um my little sister is graduating sixth grade and so all of those moments are things I'm gonna cherish.
4:57 Speaker 01 Congratulations.
4:58 Speaker 02 Thank you.
4:59 Speaker 01 And how is, how is the brand doing? How's Rare doing?
5:01 Speaker 02 Rare is great, thank you. You know, this is a gift that keeps giving, to be honest. I, I've always, well, we launched initially in um COVID. So, to be honest, my hopes were not that high considering we were all trapped inside anyway, until this beautiful thing happened where the TikToks and the world of the internet was able to start cooking trends and people were cooking more and then, you know, makeup gurus would want to do fun makeup and you can do it at your home or in the safety of your bedroom and all these things kind of started popping up and, and that was really exciting, but we were nervous.
5:46 Speaker 02 And then when it was finally released to the world, I felt relieved. I don't think I feel like I need to check in um on like status of anything. I've always just wanted to make sure that it envelops everything I believe, which is simply that I want people to feel good and, and themselves and their bodies and their minds. I work on it every day. It's not easy and we just, we've built a really strong community and I think that's what I'm proud of.
6:17 Speaker 01 Like, when did the idea for Rare, like, start?
6:21 Speaker 02 So, it was about over five years ago and I recorded this song called Rare and I loved the song. Thank you. I loved the song so much and the words uh seemed very true to where I was and I, you know, my favorite line of the whole song is, "I know I'm not perfect, but I know that I'm special." And that's the kind of gratitude that I think keeps me solid in a way, because that's how I view everything. So, when we started and it all came together, it was, it was just a gift. So now I just try to continue to make it better and. Love on it. Um, I never wanna stop working on Rare.
7:07 Speaker 01 Does it like, does it like, is it one of those things that like, doesn't feel like work? Cause it's so fun?
7:11 Speaker 02 Definitely doesn't.
7:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:12 Speaker 02 Even the photo shoots and, and the meetings, everything is so fun. The, the music and us laughing and sharing stories. And it's so cool to start a company with just a handful of people to now see it expand into so many um, employees that I just, you know, interns and all these things that we're doing with the company and giving people opportunities. It's been really fun.
7:36 Speaker 01 Well, and, and it, what I find so special about Rare is also like the mental health component behind it all? And was that always a part of the plan?
7:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, I tried, I think for me, I tried to share my story in hopes that it would be something to help others. And I think I did that when I admitted that I had struggled through um, my bipolar diagnosis. So that was, that was more of a release for me. And then I realized anything that I touch or anything I'm a part of, it has to, it has to give back in some sort of element. And that just always has been my key demographic, that it's people who don't feel seen or heard or um, even know what's going on in, in their own mind.
8:24 Speaker 01 Right. Has it ever been like, hard for you to like, talk about like, cause like, talking about mental health is like, it's so weird. I feel like sometimes talking about like, and something other people can't see, but you feel.
8:35 Speaker 02 Right.
8:35 Speaker 01 Has that ever been like, weird for you to been like, this is what's going inside my mind? But I don't have like, I can't prove it to you.
8:41 Speaker 02 I don't know. I just, sometimes I have the most vivid messed up dreams and then I think they mean something and they mean the opposite. I don't know. I don't think I get too deep into it. I just believe in therapy. I'm on medication and I feel really lucky that I'm in the position that I'm, that I'm in now.
9:03 Speaker 01 Right.
9:03 Speaker 02 And I believe in all of that.
9:04 Speaker 01 Yeah. Do you feel like living like, more privately in your thirties has been like nicer than because you've been in the public eye for so long?
9:14 Speaker 02 For sure. I mean, I, I still have to deal with the Life of the path I've chosen, which is fine. I think I should never complain about what I have. However, I do try to keep the sacred things private. At the same time, I grew up with so many of my community and my people and I want nothing more than to invite them into certain moments of my life for sure. You're just, you just have to be careful on what you're willing to share and that's the balance, I think.
9:46 Speaker 01 Right.
9:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:47 Speaker 01 Cause it's like, you don't, I feel like you kinda grew up and like figured things out in front of everybody.
9:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, that was fun.
9:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:57 Speaker 02 Um, yeah, yeah, and I'm gonna continue to. But I guess it is a bit different when you have gone through the motions of the teenage years to twenties and to early thirties. By all means, I have nothing figured out. I just, I hope that I've just become a little bit more mature in a lot of areas.
10:16 Speaker 01 I think you've always been pretty mature.
10:18 Speaker 02 Eh, thanks, sometimes. Whatever day it is.
10:22 Speaker 01 That's how I feel.
10:24 Speaker 02 Like today, I'm a good eighteen years old.
10:27 Speaker 01 Oh, today I'm, uh, ten.
10:29 Speaker 02 Oh, today because I'm cramping, I feel like forty.
10:36 Speaker 01 Caught it, okay.
10:37 Speaker 02 But I'm not mad at it.
10:38 Speaker 01 You're not mad?
10:39 Speaker 02 No, cause I feel like, yeah.
10:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:43 Speaker 02 Getting older.
10:44 Speaker 01 And you're engaged?
10:45 Speaker 02 I, yeah. Yeah, I am very, very happy.
10:50 Speaker 01 And are you excited for like wedding and stuff?
10:53 Speaker 02 I am. I couldn't be more excited. It's just, there's so much kind of happening in the moment with, um, he's working on some projects that he has to wrap up and we just have things we wanna finish, um, in our own personal endeavors before we get into all the nitty gritty. But, yeah, I, I don't know, you know, I, I'm, I'm really-
11:19 Speaker 02 I just have never really felt so sure about something. And I also don't want to jinx it by saying that.
11:25 Speaker 01 I feel the same way about things. Are you a superstitious person?
11:29 Speaker 02 A little bit. I don't like to admit it, but a little bit.
11:32 Speaker 01 Because you don't like to admit it? Because then it's like, superstitious?
11:34 Speaker 02 I know.
11:35 Speaker 01 Yes, yeah. That's, I'm the same exact way. I like, whenever someone's like, oh, whenever I'm like, something, I'm feeling anxious or sad and someone's like, but everything's going great for you. I'm like, like, I can't hear that.
11:48 Speaker 02 That's not what I need to hear.
11:50 Speaker 01 Right, because it'll make me jinx it.
11:51 Speaker 02 That's not what's happening. Yes, of course, absolutely.
11:54 Speaker 01 Oh, my god. Well, I wanted to ask you about, because you know Wizards just rebooted. And like, seeing all that, what did like, that nostalgia feel like for you? Like, you know what I mean? Was it like, happy, sad, both?
12:09 Speaker 02 No, I think more than anything, it was this zest, this new, refreshing take and an older version of Alex, who I think ultimately shaped who I am, because I feel like I am Alex. That's so weird. I feel like I should talk to my therapist about that. But I relate to her so much, and it's crazy, that re, you know, re-stepping into Alex has been a pleasure. And I'm so excited because season two is about to premiere and we find out some really fun things. I don't know how to explain it. I,
12:49 Speaker 02 I know it's, you know, me living in a nostalgic period, but at the same time, I loved doing that. There is no Disney Channel anymore. It's, it's just, you know, my sister or like my friends, sometimes that was all we wanted to watch.
13:05 Speaker 01 Right.
13:06 Speaker 02 It just was comforting.
13:07 Speaker 01 Did you ever watch other Disney shows in addition to yours?
13:10 Speaker 02 Absolutely. It was even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, That's So Raven, Suite Life. Of course, I knew every Hannah Montana song. I was all, I was all in. I am a certified Disney kid.
13:24 Speaker 01 So I, I, do you ever try to explain to your like, little sister, does she like, sometimes not understand what the Disney Channel was?
13:31 Speaker 02 Yes and no. She's she's so aware of like, no, I'm just gonna say no. Because because now there's there's platforms and there's these things. So to her, the world is endless. Where as before, for me, I would get home from school and I'd put on the Disney Channel 397 on Dish Network. It was something that I would always just go back to and that was the reliable source. But you could find anything, anywhere. And she's so just adventurous. So she likes she's seen the show, but she's not interested in anything I'm doing, which is good.
14:11 Speaker 01 Does she understand how iconic the show is?
14:14 Speaker 02 Uh, yeah, no. I will say I'm very happy. My sister's just, she's really, she's a very incredible 12 year old. She's super unfazed by what I feel like maybe other people would feel. She's not affected by any part of my life. She has a different last name. She's her own person. And I really love that. And she will come visit me on set and she'll stay for a good 20 minutes and then say, "All right, I'm good." You know, it's it's a very endearing and honest relationship, even though she's 12, she's taught me so much.
14:56 Speaker 01 Oh, that's awesome. And on set, so Only Murders in the Building, which is awesome.
15:02 Speaker 02 Thank you.
15:03 Speaker 01 It's so awesome. Do you, when you signed on to do that and you started doing that, did it feel like this full circle moment, kind of from Wizards to Only Murders? Because like you're on another kind of similar, not similar vibe, but like, like, you know what I mean?
15:20 Speaker 02 Huber and the texture is kind of similar. So I get what you're saying and I think that's accurate. I I don't, I didn't plan for any of this to to happen. It was an amazing opportunity that was presented to me. I'm obsessed with escape rooms. I will do so many fun, like different horror ones and I've gotten tasered in one of them.
15:43 Speaker 01 No, you haven't.
15:44 Speaker 02 Yes, because I was so excited and they were like, "You gotta move."
15:50 Speaker 02 But um, I just, it felt something. That was organic and natural for me to step into and to try and I don't think I really need to hesitate when it's Steve Martin and Martin Short.
16:01 Speaker 01 Of course.
16:02 Speaker 02 A lot of people can understand the gravity of what those legends have done for comedy. And at the same time, I get introduced to their fans and my fans, you know, I hope to introduce them to their work because it's, they're brilliant.
16:19 Speaker 01 Right. Have they taught you anything and have you, and vice versa, have you like you taught them anything about like the industry and just like life?
16:28 Speaker 02 It's, you know, it's funny, they ask me questions about how the industry feels now. But it's mainly me wanting to know about their lives. And I think the one thing I've learned is just genuinely feeling like you belong. You know, they, they, all the things that we worry about when you do get older, you get to the point where it's just sit back and spread that with other people. I don't know if that makes sense because Steve and Murdy have been friends for 35 years.
17:08 Speaker 02 And they've been best friends, they've had, you know, tiffs and things, but not really because they just understand each other. And then they, they bring that attitude to set. They are so happy, they're polite, they love people, they're always connecting with our crew and it feels like a big family. So I've learned a lot about etiquette, about humor, about timing, and just overall being, being a professional that has fun.
17:40 Speaker 01 Right. And that's what they do.
17:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:43 Speaker 01 That's awesome. Oh.
17:45 Speaker 02 Oh my gosh, I love you.
17:46 Speaker 01 Delivery.
17:47 Speaker 02 I love it.
17:52 Speaker 01 When you, so you watched Disney, obviously as a kid, when you booked Wizards, were you like, okay, well, this is just must be the best day of my life?
17:58 Speaker 02 Yes, but it was actually a weird thing because I was on three pilots for the Disney Channel. One was the spinoff of Lucy McGuire, one was the spinoff of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and the last one was Wizards. So by then, all of them didn't get picked up and I was just...
18:20 Speaker 02 Kind of at my wit's end, but not in a bad way. Just thought, okay, well, this isn't gonna work out.
18:25 Speaker 01 Right.
18:25 Speaker 02 And Wizards got picked up and my whole life changed after that. It was, it was an immediate feeling of, oh, I achieved my dream at that point in, in time. I was such a huge fan of the channel. I was a huge fan of what they did for our generation and it, it was an honor. Like I, I wear it proudly. I definitely am not ashamed of, of being part of the Disney High School experience.
18:57 Speaker 01 I mean, that was your high school.
18:59 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
19:00 Speaker 01 And that's crazy. I was thinking about that this morning. I was like, that was her, that like, my high school was her Disney Channel.
19:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, it was. It was, it was all of us, you know, we were all, all, you know, from the Jonas Brothers to Miley and Demi and then it was Zendaya. It's just so cool to see all the people you so, uh, went to school with, if you will. It's, it's good to see them all do their thing.
19:29 Speaker 01 It's like different grades.
19:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:31 Speaker 01 That's crazy. But was it like, you didn't know anything else? So you were like, this is awesome.
19:36 Speaker 02 I'm, I just remember my mom being on my ass all the time about making sure that any sort of sudden
19:46 Speaker 02 exaggerated like fan moment is meant to be treated with respect. So from very, from the very beginning of booking Wizards, I just tried my hardest and I think I tried too hard to make sure everyone else was happy. Um, but it was okay. I just, I loved making kids laugh because why is that not the best feeling in the whole world? And that was, that was life giving to me and she would always keep me super balanced. So I don't think it ever went anywhere other than the fact that I feel lucky that I get to be here and do this.
20:21 Speaker 01 Right. And then you obviously started with your singing career, Selena Gomez in the scene. And was that something you were like really passionate about early on?
20:31 Speaker 02 Yes, I remember I thought I'd be Paramore.
20:37 Speaker 02 Loved. I mean, who, I, everything, everything about them. And I thought,
20:44 Speaker 02 It would be cool to have a band and it was great. I really was experimenting. I think it's safe to say that I still experiment with music. I don't like to feel stagnant or to feel like I'm kind of in this repetitive nature of the same music I make. I do like to come at it with a fresh take and music was always a part of, I mean, my first job was Barney. It was singing, dancing and acting.
21:14 Speaker 01 Right.
21:15 Speaker 02 The worst acting and the worst singing and dancing, but it was also really fun and for children. So I loved it and I had the best time. So it's safe to say I was raised on these really colorful sets that brightened my life in a lot of ways.
21:33 Speaker 01 That's awesome.
21:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:34 Speaker 01 Do you have a favorite Selena Gomez in the scene song?
21:39 Speaker 02 I guess technically Who Says?
21:42 Speaker 01 Seriously?
21:43 Speaker 02 Because it's the scene, no?
21:46 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:46 Speaker 02 I know. I went the other day. Someone was like, I can't find it on your profile. And I was like, yeah, it's, it should be there. I sang it and she, she, uh, my friend Ashley looked at it and she goes, oh, it's under the scene. And I, I didn't realize that that was the case. But I mean, if you were to ask me, that is hands down my favorite.
22:06 Speaker 01 I mean, those opening chords.
22:08 Speaker 02 Ugh.
22:08 Speaker 01 You know what's about to happen. Shit's about to go down.
22:11 Speaker 02 It's so, it's the most like powerful moment when I get to perform it. That's honestly the only reason I would ever do a tour again.
22:19 Speaker 01 To perform Who Says?
22:20 Speaker 02 If I could perform Who Says like 17 times.
22:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:26 Speaker 02 It's such a high and it makes me feel good and I want other people to feel good. It's just, I'll never forget what that message in that song means, you know?
22:36 Speaker 01 It's crazy cause like as a kid, I hear the song and I'm like, this is like a banger. But then like I was listening to it today in the shower. Cause I was like, I was like, I have, you know, I have like a date later and I was like feeling like insecure.
22:49 Speaker 02 Cute.
22:49 Speaker 01 Well, it's like, how, I can't tell if it's a date or not.
22:52 Speaker 02 Oh, okay. It's one of those.
22:54 Speaker 01 It's one, yeah. It's one. You know what I mean? It's like, well, are we going on a date or what's the vibe here? But I was like, I put on Who Says and I really listened and I was like, And yeah.
23:05 Speaker 02 It kinda cuts deep.
23:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, it does cut deep. It's like the older I get, the harder it hits.
23:10 Speaker 02 I'm not even gonna, like, I'm just gonna embarrass myself. One time it came on in the radio about like three years ago somewhere overseas and, and I remember just sitting there looking out the window and I started tearing up and I was like, why the fuck am I tearing up to my own song? But it was because it was the little me who was there saying these really powerful messages that I still need to hear.
23:37 Speaker 01 What is that feeling like where it's like you are saying, like little you is saying what you need to hear today? Like, is that like a weird feeling?
23:44 Speaker 02 That's a very weird feeling.
23:46 Speaker 01 Right.
23:46 Speaker 02 Considering back then, I loved the song simply because I thought everyone could relate to this.
23:53 Speaker 01 Right.
23:53 Speaker 02 But then when I got older, I still so appreciate that song because I relate to it in a totally different manner. You know, it wasn't necessarily body issues and like, you know, standards of society back then, but now when you hear those words, they mean a lot more. So I get really excited and yeah, I haven't toured, but every time I do tour, I have to take it down an octave from each year I'm singing because it's up here.
24:26 Speaker 01 It is a high song.
24:27 Speaker 02 I know. I need to redo it. I should recut it.
24:30 Speaker 01 If you recut Who Says today.
24:32 Speaker 02 Should I?
24:33 Speaker 01 My world would shake.
24:36 Speaker 02 Maybe I should.
24:37 Speaker 01 Selena, my world would shake.
24:39 Speaker 02 Sound young.
24:41 Speaker 01 Well, do you know how beautiful it would be to like have you, having so much of like realized everything like?
24:48 Speaker 02 Sold.
24:48 Speaker 01 Like, yes, like you have to.
24:50 Speaker 02 So gonna do that.
24:51 Speaker 01 It would seriously change my life.
24:53 Speaker 02 Well, we'll think about it. We'll see what happens.
24:55 Speaker 01 Well, how is, okay, so you were brought up tour. Do you like touring?
24:59 Speaker 02 I think touring is, is very bittersweet for me, only because when you are in a band or
25:11 Speaker 02 maybe have a lot of friends with you, it can be easier. But there became a point on tour for me where I noticed that every single person around me, I was.
25:24 Speaker 02 I was paying, so all the nice things and experiences sometimes felt very transactional. And I thrive off connection. I feel like connecting to any person on anything from me loving her shoes to like asking about like where you got the card again. It's all about connecting with people and I think that's something that was lacking for a bit and that is for me something I can safely rely on is just knowing that I can get back to the those moments and touring is very lonely.
26:02 Speaker 01 Right, and it's like the whole day, I feel like of everyone around you revolves around making sure you get on that stage. So how do you know what anyone is saying to you is what they mean? Cause they at the end of the day, they just want you to get on the stage.
26:14 Speaker 02 They just have to be there. It's very hard because I care about people too. So when I extend my love, it's it's genuine. It's just sometimes it's not given to the right people. So I wonder if maybe there's a new way of touring that I could do. Cause you know, when people ask me, I usually say no, but I'm sure there's a way that I could do it because the greatest gift is being able to share your music with all of those people in the room with you. And that's, that's all I, that's the high you want. That's what you want to do. But that's 90 minutes versus
26:56 Speaker 02 hours in a bus and a hotel and all of that.
27:01 Speaker 01 Well, touring is also so hard on the body. Even just like you're not sleeping and the travel and like, did you sleep well on the, do you, you bust, I assume for some of it?
27:09 Speaker 02 I did.
27:10 Speaker 01 It's hard, right? You can't sleep on that bus.
27:12 Speaker 02 No, I don't really sleep well in general, but yes, back then I had the adrenaline rush of a show and I would come off. And I would be ready to stay up till four in the morning.
27:23 Speaker 01 Right.
27:23 Speaker 02 Doing nothing, mind you. It was just the fact that my adrenaline was like pumping through me.
27:30 Speaker 01 Well, I hope one day I can hear who says we recorded.
27:34 Speaker 02 Me too.
27:34 Speaker 01 Live. I do want to ask you about the new fragrances.
27:39 Speaker 02 Oh yay.
27:40 Speaker 01 We have to talk about them. Tell me a little bit about it. The bottle is so cool.
27:43 Speaker 02 Thank you. Okay, so before we get all PR modey.
27:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:48 Speaker 02 Um, the reason why I was excited to release a fragrance was simply based on the fact that I had the greatest two years of my life. And I spent about two to three years finding the scent. But this was the scent that we ended up landing on after, you know, years of debating. And when I would wear it, because I secretly wore it every day. I, you know, I got to, I got to meet the love of my life and I got engaged and my album came out and Only Murders was, you know, coming back in and Rare Beauty. It just felt like such a, um,
28:33 Speaker 02 fruitful moment for me that I thought, wow, this is kind of what the bottle captures for me, the scent at least.
28:41 Speaker 01 Right.
28:41 Speaker 02 To me. Now, scents are very tricky to do because there's thousands and they're so good.
28:47 Speaker 01 Right.
28:47 Speaker 02 So it's awesome. But okay, I'll start with the little bottle thing. Basically, if you have any sort of arthritic or, um, dexterity issues, we wanted to make all of our products easy to use. So as I'm using one hand, that is to lock it, that's to spray it, and then I can just use one hand to do that.
29:08 Speaker 01 Ooh.
29:11 Speaker 02 Oh, okay. Just do a little, because we'll, you'll get a little bit. Let it air and it kind of soaks in. It's this caramel vanilla melts down to a sandalwood kind of taste.
29:23 Speaker 01 Oh, oh, it's like, yeah.
29:24 Speaker 02 I'm always like taste, because I like flavors. Um, so basically the bottle, we modeled it after people who, who maybe only can or have access for two or they can even use, you know, this. It's just, it's all about what we want to do with Rare is make our products accessible to absolutely everyone. So, but, okay, but the most exciting part. For me are the layering bombs.
29:49 Speaker 01 Right, that's what I was like, wait, what are those?
29:52 Speaker 02 So these are the layering bombs. Basically, it comes in four different fragrances and they're supposed to enhance the perfume that I just sprayed on you. So let's say you're feeling like you want to do a woody. This might, wait, do you want to like, kind of have that smoky taste or do you want like a fresh?
30:14 Speaker 01 What would be good for like a date tonight, fresh?
30:17 Speaker 02 Oh, fresh.
30:18 Speaker 01 Right?
30:19 Speaker 02 So fresh, this is bergamot and it is, so this is what I love to wear when I get out of the shower with a little spritz before I go to bed and I'm like, oh, I just smell like this.
30:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:29 Speaker 02 It's like, oh me, but I'll, I'll put a little bit on. Essentially, you take the little caps, I'll put it right here. And it's so, it's incredibly soft and it, you can wear it just as-
30:43 Speaker 01 Wow, it's not that strong of a scent?
30:45 Speaker 02 No, and it's actually just something that kind of enhances the fragrance. Some of my friends have been using this alone.
30:52 Speaker 01 Right.
30:53 Speaker 02 They'll use the flavors, or I always call them flavors and my team's like-
30:57 Speaker 01 They are flavors.
30:57 Speaker 02 Fragrance and I'm like, no, they're flavors. But um, I have the floral, which is very rosy and romantic and, and really fun. The fresh that you have is more of a little awaken. We have amber that adds more vanilla and it makes it very warm. I'm sorry, this will stop becoming a-
31:16 Speaker 01 No, this is, I'm curious.
31:18 Speaker 02 And then woodsy. I'll let you smell it because I think you might like the scent.
31:22 Speaker 01 I know, that's the one you initially-
31:24 Speaker 02 It's really nice. I don't want to put too much, but it adds that-
31:28 Speaker 01 You know what it smells like?
31:29 Speaker 02 Skin muss.
31:30 Speaker 01 Have you ever stayed at an Aman?
31:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:32 Speaker 01 It smells like an Aman.
31:36 Speaker 02 I'll take that, that's a very good-
31:38 Speaker 01 It smells like an Aman, it smells exactly like it.
31:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. So the idea for me um, is that hopefully people can create their own fragrance and they can mix the bombs, they can use just the bomb, they can use the fragrance. The whole idea is meant for me to tell people, this isn't just my scent and like try different things, maybe layering it with some other stuff will feel good to you.
32:04 Speaker 01 Right.
32:04 Speaker 02 Just stick about customizing it to the person as opposed to saying this is the fragrance and uh-
32:12 Speaker 02 You gotta like it or love it.
32:13 Speaker 01 Right, exactly.
32:14 Speaker 02 You can play with it for a bit. So in my purse, I personally use the little to-go spray. I don't know if that, it looks like a Tide Stick, so I'm gonna call it to-go.
32:26 Speaker 02 And then I put all of the balms in a little Rare Beauty bag. It's a clear bag, so I just bring them all and I'm like, what mood am I in?
32:35 Speaker 01 Right.
32:36 Speaker 02 But I swear, we love, like, I've worked so hard on these. I'm so anxious to see what people are gonna say. But that's my little spiel.
32:46 Speaker 01 Well, congratulations. It smells, I can't stop smelling my hands. It smells amazing.
32:50 Speaker 02 It makes me happy. It definitely envelops that warm and, you know, comforting feeling. Benny has worn it on a lot of our dates.
32:59 Speaker 01 Really?
33:00 Speaker 02 He likes it when we're away, his sprays.
33:05 Speaker 01 This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! Or should I have Matt do it?
33:15 Speaker 03 Yes.
33:16 Speaker 01 So, you just need to say, dot, yeah! Or, when I say, "This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com." You just need to say, Booking dot, yeah! Ready?
33:26 Speaker 03 I, I just need to do it? You're not even gonna ask me? I just have to do it?
33:31 Speaker 01 Can you do it? "This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com."
33:38 Speaker 03 You know he's gonna be talking.
33:40 Speaker 01 It's fine, Matt, please!
33:43 Speaker 03 You're messing up his music.
33:44 Speaker 01 Okay. This epis- This- Okay, I'm gonna say Booking-
33:50 Speaker 03 What was I saying again?
33:51 Speaker 01 Just, yeah! I'm gonna say Booking dot, and then you say, yeah! Okay, ready? "This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com." Booking dot-
34:00 Speaker 03 Yeah!
34:02 Speaker 01 Okay. Thanks. What are you listening to?
34:06 Speaker 03 Halloween music.
34:08 Speaker 01 Well, it's July, brother.
34:10 Speaker 03 I understand, I understand.
34:13 Speaker 01 Bye. Booking.com, what can I, you know, there are just, it is the number one place to book a vacation. And I just got home from tour. I am exhausted. I don't think I want to travel, but I want to do a staycation. And I am going to use booking.com to book it. It is the easiest site to like maneuver and go around when you're booking a hotel, especially for like a large group of people, because you can put in all the requirements, like if you want it to be walkable, if you want a terrace, if you want a tub, if you want a shower, you can book vacation rentals on it, you can book cars on it. Like you can really create a full vacation on it. It is just the easiest site. Like as you guys know, on tour, we'd literally pull up to a city without anywhere booked and Matt would be like, it's fine, it's fine. And then he'd go on booking.com and we'd have a place that suited all of our needs within literal like seconds.
34:57 Speaker 01 It's the easiest thing in the world. It makes staying somewhere else so much easier. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking dot, yeah.
35:08 Speaker 01 Thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode. SeatGeek is the best place to get tickets for live events. And as you guys know, I think live events are like the literal backbone of our society. I think it's the only thing keeping us together right now. I always say this, but I missed it so much during COVID. I had like these feelings of like, I didn't go to enough live events, like now they're all gone. And to like to have them back feels, I feel so grateful to have them back. And SeatGeek really makes it so easy to go to them. I do have a code there, it puts 10 for 10% off your purchase. If you do want to buy tickets and when you do buy tickets, the SeatGeek app makes it so easy as well. They'll show you events in your area. So like right now, Lady Gaga is here on her Mayhem Ball Tour.
35:52 Speaker 01 And you can click Lady Gaga. And then it will show you, how many tickets do you need? You can click two, and then it'll show you a list of tickets. It'll have numbers from one to 10 on it to show you how good the deal is. Obviously, one being not the best, 10 being the best. So you know you're getting a good deal. They also have all live events on, so like comedy, sports, Broadway plays. Like, they really have everything. And there are so many incredible people on tour right now. Specifically, Renee Rapp is about to be on her Bite Me Tour. Tate McRae is about to kick off the American leg of her Miss Possessive World Tour. Like, there are so many people to see, and SeatGeek makes it easy to see them all. You can use my code THERAPIST10 for 10% off. You can also click the link in the description of this video, and it'll download the app
36:37 Speaker 01 and automatically apply the code to your account. It is amazing. There are so many amazing people on tour right now. Thank you, SeatGeek, again, for sponsoring tonight's episode.
36:47 Speaker 01 How did you guys meet, exactly?
36:49 Speaker 02 We met when I was 16, because we were gonna possibly work together. But I didn't start releasing music till 17, 18, and officially. So, we saw each other around, it was nice. And then, I don't know, I feel like he was just an acquaintance, if that makes sense. And, to be honest, I wasn't like, besties, I just thought he was nice.
37:19 Speaker 01 Right.
37:20 Speaker 02 And then we did a few songs together, Same Old Love, which was awesome. We did a great time, had a great time, nothing really there. And then, I Can't Get Enough, which was with Tiny and J Balvin. Didn't get it there either. I just thought he was funny.
37:38 Speaker 01 He's hilarious.
37:39 Speaker 02 I was just like, this guy's so funny. But I didn't think anything of it.
37:42 Speaker 01 Right.
37:43 Speaker 02 Also, it was so not, you know when you realize you're not in that place anymore? You need to be where you are. It's all about timing to meet that person. Because even if I did think, "Oh, let's take this a step further," then, it wouldn't have worked. It just, simply, you have to be there mentally in order to...
38:06 Speaker 02 Move forward in something healthily.
38:08 Speaker 01 Right.
38:08 Speaker 02 And then we reunited for single soon.
38:14 Speaker 01 I fucking love that song.
38:17 Speaker 02 Thank you. It wasn't our favorite, but.
38:20 Speaker 01 I really fucking love that song.
38:22 Speaker 02 Thank you.
38:23 Speaker 01 I love the music video. I love the whole aesthetic. It was such, it is such a banger.
38:28 Speaker 02 It was really fun. Just, just, just because I can say this, because I'm marrying him, just really wasn't what I thought I wanted.
38:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:38 Speaker 02 He came in and he agrees, you know, on a lot of levels, but he, um, he just, he just came in and, and I was like, oh Benny, hi Benny. And we spoke for two hours and I asked him to hook me up with anybody that he knew that was cute. And he was like, oh, we do these things like dinner nights. You should come. And then next thing you know, we're, we're dating, but he was terrified in the beginning because he's like, it's work and it's company and people are going to get mad. And I'm like, I don't give a shit. Kiss me.
39:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:19 Speaker 02 Yeah. So it's fun.
39:20 Speaker 01 Is it like, was it hard, like hearing like always with like outside noise? Like I, like, you know, because there's so much outside noise, like in your personal life, in your professional career, there's, everyone has something to say about everything.
39:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:34 Speaker 01 And it's, how do you find, how do you tune that out and like continue doing what you love?
39:38 Speaker 02 Real. When you realize it's not real, we live in this monoculture right now where these people and a generation, a certain generation will read something and take that as truth instantly. Cause I could leave here right now and say Shane was a jerk.
39:56 Speaker 01 Right.
39:56 Speaker 02 Everyone will believe me if I said that. Is that a fact? No, because you're not a jerk.
40:02 Speaker 01 Thank you.
40:02 Speaker 02 But people 1,000% want to believe the first thing they see. Cause they've got it figured out. They know what it is. And then you can't sway them to believe anything else.
40:13 Speaker 01 Right.
40:14 Speaker 02 So they're all believing different things.
40:18 Speaker 01 Right.
40:19 Speaker 02 So it, once you realize that it's, it's all just a lie. And if you wanted to know more in depth about things, that's kind of weird because you should focus on on your own life, in my opinion. I just don't really look at social stuff that way anymore. I just think it's crazy. There's, there's too many options and I can't convince everyone to hear my side and believe my side. It's just useless. I know what's being said, but I'm very much okay with who I am and I don't need, I don't need to validate every rumor, every lie, everything. It'll be new next week about something else.
41:02 Speaker 01 And was that like hard to deal with as a kid?
41:06 Speaker 02 Yes. I don't think it's fair to do that to someone, especially even in their early twenties.
41:12 Speaker 01 Right.
41:13 Speaker 02 That's why there's the whole thing about child stars and it's like scary and there's all the, because you don't let the people live their life. You don't let them become adults in a way that's exciting or healthy or inviting.
41:27 Speaker 01 Right.
41:28 Speaker 02 They're just nailing down every wrong thing and you're just figuring out life.
41:34 Speaker 01 Well, like your twenties, like when I'm like, like, like when I was a kid and I would see people like you and whoever being in their twenties, I'd be like, oh, well, they're twenty, you know, they have it all figured out. But like as a twenty-five-year-old now, I'm like, I'm so messy that I'm like, oh my God, like, how could I have ever thought that these people would have ever had it figured out? And I feel like a lot of people maybe in my generation are like coming around and realizing like, oh my God, like, how did we even expect these people to have anything figured out?
42:05 Speaker 02 Well, I hope that's, that's what people feel because I, I feel that way about even working on Wizards with the young actors now, you know? I, I look at them and I think, okay, well, make sure you go and be a kid and do the things you want to do. I believe anyone can follow their dream at any age. But making sure that you have a balance of normality and stability is so crucial to growing up. And whether that was given to me in certain times or not, I just, I just, I was stopped trying to impress people. It just, it's not. It's not that I was grandiose and saying, here are my accomplishments. It's more that I I would try to be nice and the idea of politeness has suddenly become,
42:51 Speaker 02 you know, uh, false and um, not appealing anymore and it's just uh, it's mistaken as not being real, but I don't think I'm gonna change who I am.
43:04 Speaker 01 You shouldn't.
43:05 Speaker 02 I'll just talk the way I talk. I'm grateful for what I have and I mean, that's their choice to waste their energy on that.
43:15 Speaker 01 And um, how, how is it like, cause you said, you know, you like thrive off of like connection and stuff? Is it, has, was it hard to like build real connections in this industry?
43:27 Speaker 02 Sure, uh, I got burned a few times, a couple of times. You, you definitely learn as you go. Uh, I, I like to believe in the good in people. I really like to just forgive and forgive and you know, it got to a point where some things
43:50 Speaker 02 you can forgive and move on from.
43:51 Speaker 01 Right.
43:52 Speaker 02 But it's not something you should perpetually let happen to you in your life.
43:57 Speaker 01 Right.
43:57 Speaker 02 And so I think that that was everything from friendships to people that I felt like I needed to be more than I was able to be. It was very transactional. People would do something nice for me and then all of a sudden flip it on me and expect something and I would be happy to, to extend anything. It's just when it's being told to me, there's all these things. It's weird, you know? It's just like you don't know who is around you to be around you.
44:29 Speaker 01 Right.
44:30 Speaker 02 Um, so I have, that's why there, that's why there were 20 people at my birthday.
44:37 Speaker 02 Because the 200 people that came to my 30th.
44:42 Speaker 01 Or no longer.
44:42 Speaker 02 They're they're uh they're segregated.
44:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:46 Speaker 02 Properly.
44:47 Speaker 01 Yes. Well, I'm sorry you went through that, but congratulations.
44:50 Speaker 02 No, I think it's a part of life, right? We all have to figure out who we love and trust and they say if you can count, you know, in one hand, how many friends you have, you're already lucky. So.
45:01 Speaker 01 Right? That's what I think, too. I feel like I used to have like a million people and then it like dwindled down and it feels good.
45:07 Speaker 02 It actually feels safer.
45:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:09 Speaker 02 More authentic in my eyes. Cause as Taylor says, a friend to all is a friend to none.
45:18 Speaker 01 Yes, she does. I love that song.
45:22 Speaker 02 Same.
45:23 Speaker 01 How did you guys meet?
45:24 Speaker 02 Oh, Taylor and I dated the Jonas Brothers.
45:30 Speaker 02 We dated um I dated Nick and she dated Joe. Um, and everything's like, you know, that's cute. We were like young. We we all know and love each other now and it's so cute. We didn't know what we were doing. But um, yeah, she she uh she and I like to say the best thing we got out of those relationships was each other.
45:54 Speaker 01 Right.
45:54 Speaker 02 Because it was really sweet. I was about fifteen. She was about eighteen. And that's when it was the crazy curly Taylor and she had all these bracelets that went all the way up and I believe Love Story was the first song she had ever played me and it wasn't released yet.
46:15 Speaker 01 No.
46:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, I was in a hotel room and I remember it vividly and it was just like
46:22 Speaker 02 it was one of those songs I instantly heard and thought this is one of the most beautiful songs ever. So at that age, we became best friends, bonded over the breakup as girls do, and then we.
46:35 Speaker 02 I don't know, then we just stuck around for all the ups and downs that came after and here we are now sixteen years later.
46:46 Speaker 01 Wow.
46:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
46:47 Speaker 01 I can't believe you heard Love Story before it was released.
46:50 Speaker 02 I know, it was so sweet. She was like, okay, I just gonna play you this song, just like, but just like, you know, you don't, I don't know, it's gonna be the first single, I think, I think. And just hearing her say those little thoughts and then listening to it, you're, yeah, it's, she is a chameleon. She's incredible.
47:06 Speaker 01 Wow. Wow. That's awesome. Sorry.
47:10 Speaker 02 I love it. Makes me happy.
47:12 Speaker 01 Well, this is my favorite question to ask. What are you like watching? What are you listening to right now?
47:17 Speaker 02 Okay, let's see. All right. So because my birthday was very disco-y themed, and even though no one really dressed that way, but like me, um, it was all Gloria Estefan. And then I have, uh, like, I will survive, Diana Ross. I love all of the older music when I'm feeling like I don't want to be connected to the pop culture.
47:43 Speaker 01 Right.
47:44 Speaker 02 That always makes me happy. Like, I'm thinking of how music was, you know, listening to Ain't No Mountain High. It's like those things make me, take me back to a simpler time. Now, doesn't mean I'm not all about Travis's album. Obviously, I'm obsessed with Sabrina and I'm dying for, I'm like, can I just get like a little preview of the album because I love her music? So I was like, I just want a little preview. And so it's really fun to see what people are doing and I'm really happy that music is thriving, but sometimes it is nice to check out and it can be from Patsy Cline to Boys to Men.
48:27 Speaker 01 Right.
48:28 Speaker 02 It's all in between I will listen to.
48:30 Speaker 01 Right.
48:31 Speaker 02 Oh, and then watching. Uh, well, we, I just finished the movie, uh, Friendship, which was with Paul Rudd. He's, I, I forget the lead. Do you remember?
48:41 Speaker 01 Tim Robinson?
48:42 Speaker 02 Tim Robb. He was fantastic. I loved that movie. So that was one of, I just watched that last night. I've been
48:52 Speaker 02 I watched Jurassic Park.
48:54 Speaker 01 The new one?
48:55 Speaker 02 Yeah. I'm sorry, I love dinosaurs and I was crying the whole time.
49:00 Speaker 01 You were crying?
49:01 Speaker 02 Yes, I was. Um, and then as far as anything else, we, we watch, uh, shrink. We like, um, the casual like sitcoms here and there, like Curb Your Enthusiasm. Well, that's not sitcom.
49:16 Speaker 01 Kind of.
49:17 Speaker 02 Kind of.
49:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:18 Speaker 02 Um, it just kind of rotates, but we're big movie people. So I think for me, TV shows are hard sometimes because if there is 10 episodes, I'm locked in. If for some reason, if it's like 20 and they're all one hour or something gets too much, I'm, I can't, I'm, I'm so do do do all over the place.
49:43 Speaker 01 I, I'm like, it's, I'm so the opposite. I'm so bad with movies. Cause I like want to check into a world and like
49:51 Speaker 02 Exist.
49:51 Speaker 01 Exist.
49:52 Speaker 02 Yes.
49:53 Speaker 01 Like I just finished my show after like a month of like being so in the world and I'm like, I've never felt so lost.
50:00 Speaker 02 You know what? I did that with Sex and the City. I was like, this is how my twenties are gonna be.
50:08 Speaker 02 But I was watching it. I was like, yeah, this is my life. I'm gonna embody it. And then, you know, I went into one designer store and bought something and thought, I am never wearing this again. So quickly just switched over from that dream.
50:24 Speaker 01 Do you prefer thirties to twenties so far?
50:27 Speaker 02 Absolutely. Yes. I'm sure a bunch of people, you know, I don't know, either would say that or say the opposite. I'm not sure. It's, it depends on the cards you were dealt, right? I wonder what it would be like if my twenties looked differently. But I can't spend my time doing that. All I know is that it's better now. And I'm really, really happy that it's in a stable and a comfortable and peaceful place.
50:54 Speaker 01 That's awesome. Makes me like hopeful.
50:57 Speaker 02 What do you mean? What's going on with you? What do you mean?
51:00 Speaker 01 Oh, do you really want to know?
51:01 Speaker 02 Yes.
51:02 Speaker 01 I don't know. I'm just like in the weirdest headspace, honestly, like I just.
51:06 Speaker 02 Like you're all over the place or you're like professionally, love life, whatever.
51:10 Speaker 01 Like the whole to do. I feel like I'm so just uncomfortable as a person.
51:16 Speaker 02 Really?
51:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't know. It must be that twenty twenty thing, but then it's like, I feel like I've I've felt I've always felt this way. And then I'll like look at old videos. Like I got sent an old video of myself today. And I was like, oh, my God, I would have. How was I so upset in that body that I had back then? I was like, how? But then I think like today, I'm gonna feel this way about how I look right now in five years. So that's how that's what I'm dealing with right now.
51:43 Speaker 02 You're you're, yes, but I I I think you need to give yourself more credit. Because the most important thing that I've ever learned when it comes to me, beating myself down, which I'm very good at, um, and just saying these negative things to myself. You you've already have a purpose and you're doing it and you are living it with people that you care about. About being uncomfortable with your skin, I still feel that way. But I think you get more like
52:17 Speaker 02 casual. I think it just happens when you say this is exactly who I am. Okay, perfect example. Let's talk. My friend who got out of a two year relationship. She just met a new guy after a year and a half that she's interested in and I love that. I'm so happy for her, but I was telling her like, take one step at a time. So she's been having a wonderful time like talking to this person. I'm really happy for her. But when she says what she would respond to me, I laugh and I say, what are you doing? Like, say that to him. She's like, no, I'm embarrassed. I'm like, no, that's the part of you
52:58 Speaker 02 that's gonna hook him. Like, you're funny when you make fun of yourself or if you want to go somewhere that you don't know how to golf or how to do something. Golf's so boring, but like something different.
53:13 Speaker 01 So boring.
53:13 Speaker 02 It's like. Be bad at it.
53:17 Speaker 01 Right.
53:17 Speaker 02 And have fun with that. I think that's when I feel real freedom sets in is when you're just kinda like, like say all that. Cause she's tried to politely type in things. I'm like, boys, no.
53:29 Speaker 01 Right.
53:29 Speaker 02 Just get to the point and be like, I suck at this, but I think we'd have a blast doing it.
53:34 Speaker 01 I think I'm gonna bring that to my date tonight.
53:36 Speaker 02 You should.
53:36 Speaker 01 That's the energy I'm gonna bring to my date.
53:38 Speaker 02 Because in reality, you are such a catch and the same might be for this guy, but like, nobody's better and nobody's worse.
53:49 Speaker 01 Right.
53:49 Speaker 02 I just want you to have fun. Just have fun.
53:52 Speaker 01 I'm gonna have fun.
53:53 Speaker 02 Yes, and be yourself.
53:54 Speaker 01 Yeah. Um, this is the best day of my life, I think.
54:00 Speaker 02 I'm like, we'll just pregame before your thing. I'll top you up.
54:04 Speaker 01 Um, are you having fun?
54:06 Speaker 02 Now? I'm having a blast.
54:07 Speaker 01 Okay, cool, cool.
54:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:09 Speaker 01 Do you mind if we get into the tell me what's wrongs?
54:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:12 Speaker 01 These are basically the pussies right in and they tell us what's wrong and we give them advice.
54:17 Speaker 02 Okay.
54:18 Speaker 01 Basically, my mom came to visit me in college for the weekend, so I stayed at a hotel with her for a few days. When I got back to the dorm, when I got back to my dorm by the end of the weekend, my roommate was asleep in her bed with her boyfriend, and a gross random guy was half naked sleeping in my bed right next to them. The room was a disaster. It smelled bad and the first thing they told me was, I swear it wasn't a threesome. I went silent and just walked out and cried because I didn't know what to say. What do I do? I actually wasn't expecting that, to be honest with you. I haven't read these before. I haven't read these before.
54:51 Speaker 02 Whoa. Uh, okay. Let's see.
54:56 Speaker 02 Well,
54:58 Speaker 02 I genuinely am thinking, like, thinking about this. I would first say, sorry, you didn't have the threesome. Uh, second, please wash my sheets and everything in this area. Um, would really appreciate that considering there's a naked man in my bed. And then...
55:21 Speaker 02 I'm gonna go buy some candles and I'm gonna get some Fabreeze and we're gonna figure out how to make this situation a little bit better and we can both clean up together. How's that for a deal? No more naked guys. Let's do this.
55:34 Speaker 01 Right.
55:35 Speaker 02 I don't know if that works.
55:36 Speaker 01 It's honest communication.
55:38 Speaker 02 It's either that or genuinely going, "I'm not gonna do this. You have to pay for this and please clean up."
55:44 Speaker 01 Right.
55:45 Speaker 02 So, but I'm always like, "Let's meet in the middle."
55:48 Speaker 01 Right. Have you ever had a roommate before?
55:50 Speaker 02 I have. When I would go away for, you know, myself and other things that were happening, I I lived with roommates, but also in my entire twenties, my three girlfriends basically lived with me.
56:03 Speaker 01 Right.
56:04 Speaker 02 They they were with me constantly, every day and, gosh, we used to spend two hours getting ready to go out for like thirty minutes.
56:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:15 Speaker 02 Because we'd be, "Okay, we're over it," you know, it just, it was such a period in my life that I'll cherish and, um, yeah, that was a good two years of my life, living with my girlfriends.
56:27 Speaker 01 Isn't that awesome that, um, people, when they get ready to go out with their girlfriends now are using your products?
56:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:35 Speaker 01 Isn't that cool?
56:36 Speaker 02 That's such a weird thing to think about, but that's really sweet. I didn't think about that.
56:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:41 Speaker 02 Well, I hope so. I mean, that is-
56:43 Speaker 01 My roommates do, every night.
56:44 Speaker 02 That's really sweet. No, it's so surreal. Honestly, when anyone says anything about the brand, it makes me so happy because it's, I don't know if I should be concerned or proud, but the most compliments I've received is from the creation of Rare.
57:02 Speaker 01 Be proud.
57:02 Speaker 02 I'm I'm proud, but I'm also like-
57:05 Speaker 01 I've done a few other things.
57:07 Speaker 02 I hope I'm better at other things, too.
57:10 Speaker 01 You're excellent. Like, what has been outside of, like, where are, like, the most fulfilling endeavor? Like, acting, touring, singing?
57:18 Speaker 02 I would have to say genuinely is my community we've created on the Rare Impact Fund and for Rare, because we have so many initiatives and so many causes that we believe in and it's working, you know? So, so few times, things kind of work out that way and I just want everyone and I want more people to be involved and- I think that's the most fulfilling is the Impact Fund. The most fulfilling thing also would have to be making products that people love. There's not a better feeling than when someone is religiously using something that you've created.
58:00 Speaker 02 Um, but my proudest and most rewarding thing would have to be being an older sister to Gracie. She's just really cool and she teaches me so much.
58:14 Speaker 01 Um, so Jake, I got my heart broken bad and that and now I'm in my evil phase and manipulating every man. How do I get out of this stage or should I stay in it?
58:24 Speaker 02 Interesting.
58:27 Speaker 02 Flirting and manipulation can be very confusing.
58:30 Speaker 01 Tell me more.
58:31 Speaker 02 I believe that there is such a fun way to flirt with guys without giving them the green light. That's usually when they come back for more, but there's the other case where it's like, oh, all I see is a toxic woman and I'm not going to get near that. So you have to balance it well because who are you choosing and what do you think? Would turn them off, you know, is this person someone worthwhile that you really care about? Probably not the best to be manipulated. Now flirt hardcore. Give them all the green signs, but just wait and then you'll see what happens. See how much you're worth it.
59:15 Speaker 02 And then the other case is if she's living her life and she is happy where she is right now. More power to you. It's not like guys don't do the same thing.
59:25 Speaker 01 They do, right?
59:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:28 Speaker 01 Do you believe in like ghosting people or no?
59:32 Speaker 02 No, I think that for me I have in the past because I'm not good with confrontation. But I'm also equally, I did, but I just learned this. I'm not kidding. Probably like a year or two ago where I was able to comfortably say in a nice way, this is not serving me in any good way. I just need this to be over. So I would keep these people kind of close by and that wasn't really fair to either one of us. So I've definitely done it and it's it's it's an escape route. Because you don't want it's also the other person though.
1:00:15 Speaker 02 It's it's like if I have a conversation with a emotionally intelligent person. I feel like we will understand each other. But when I'm talking to someone who's very reactive and the love is conditional and unconditional. It's very, you know, need, need, need, take, take, take. That's when it feels really yucky and that's when I have to say, I I can't do this anymore.
1:00:44 Speaker 01 Right.
1:00:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think maybe we've, I mean, we right, we've all had to have ghosted.
1:00:49 Speaker 01 I literally ghosted someone last week.
1:00:53 Speaker 02 Sorry.
1:00:54 Speaker 01 There's nothing I I just couldn't, there was nothing I could do like I was like, you know, we're not deep in enough where I tell you it's over. And we're not
1:01:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:03 Speaker 01 out enough where it's not awkward.
1:01:04 Speaker 02 Whatever works for you.
1:01:06 Speaker 01 Thank you. I needed to hear that. Oh, I dropped my roommate. I dropped my roommate's dog and everything seemed okay, so I didn't say anything. But now he has been limping and my roommate is so confused and I don't know how to come clean because I didn't tell her what happened. Or do I even come clean?
1:01:24 Speaker 02 Oh, please, please, maybe do. I I care about animals sometimes more than people.
1:01:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:32 Speaker 02 So I would just say, maybe you go, I'll, I'll, I'll just, I'll get the dog checked for you. And then you go in, maybe you'll feel less guilty or more guilty for what you've done. But uh, maybe just show a supporting hand first and then you can admit it later.
1:01:48 Speaker 01 It's like when you open a door in someone's house and the doorknob falls off and you're like, ah.
1:01:53 Speaker 02 You're like, and I didn't mean to do this.
1:01:57 Speaker 01 My friend told me, oh, speaking of ghosting, my friend told me she got ghosted after sending a guy a two-minute voice note. I listened to it, I would have ghosted too. She was full-on planning their wedding after one night out at a bar. Is there a fun girly way to bring this up to her?
1:02:12 Speaker 02 For sure. First of all, you have to, you have to know to make fun of yourself.
1:02:18 Speaker 01 Right.
1:02:18 Speaker 02 You know, you have to learn to laugh at the stupidity that is our anxious bodies and minds, because sometimes it just is not rational. So, I would say, wait, what was the question again?
1:02:34 Speaker 01 It was like, um...
1:02:36 Speaker 02 Like, I just don't know how they word them.
1:02:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:41 Speaker 02 Your friend?
1:02:42 Speaker 01 She, she got...
1:02:43 Speaker 02 She got ghosted, well...
1:02:44 Speaker 01 She was like, basically like, "I would have ghosted my friend too, and I don't know how to tell her what she did was wrong."
1:02:49 Speaker 02 I, I love taking the piss out of people.
1:02:51 Speaker 01 Right.
1:02:52 Speaker 02 That's the fun. I would literally, I mean, honestly, I would say to my girlfriend, I would listen to it, and I, this actually happened not too long ago. My friend was waiting, we told her, "Wait three days." I know the rules are stupid, but I said, "Just wait three days. This guy has a lot going on, you have a lot going on, focus on you, and then play it out." And she sent the worst text in the middle of the night, because she was lonely, and she was thinking, and she was saying it. She sent it to me, and I literally just called her, and I just, I looked at her, and I said, "No."
1:03:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:29 Speaker 02 I was like, "Please." And she's like, "Really?" I'm like, "Yeah." I was like, "You're so much cooler than that girl." Like, let them want you a bit, you know? I think for, for girls, you, you've gotta, at least with your girls, you gotta be like, "Huh, babe, that was not the move, that was not it."
1:03:46 Speaker 01 Right.
1:03:47 Speaker 02 And then make it something that is enjoyable to laugh at, and then help her.
1:03:53 Speaker 01 I also love like, I feel like my biggest thing is I always make fun of myself. It's like the only way.
1:03:58 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, but I love that.
1:03:59 Speaker 01 It's the only way to go about life.
1:04:00 Speaker 02 I agree. I can't take myself too seriously. It's exhausting.
1:04:04 Speaker 01 Right. Have you ever seen the show, uh, Girls?
1:04:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course.
1:04:08 Speaker 01 It's like my favorite show of all time.
1:04:09 Speaker 02 Really?
1:04:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, that and Hannah, Lena Dunham said something so smart about like making fun of yourself. It's what I always think about.
1:04:15 Speaker 02 Which, what did she say?
1:04:16 Speaker 01 She's like, anything you could say about me, I've already said it. Like, and I'll always think about it.
1:04:22 Speaker 02 I love that.
1:04:23 Speaker 01 Do you, did you fin- did you finish that show?
1:04:25 Speaker 02 I didn't finish it because again, I'm horrible at shows.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 Right.
1:04:29 Speaker 02 I'm like in it and then when I'm waiting for something else, I'm like, what? How did that happen?
1:04:37 Speaker 01 It's really good.
1:04:38 Speaker 02 Ah, I love Lena. I think she's brilliant. I think everything from her essays to everything that she does is just gold.
1:04:47 Speaker 01 Before I ask you our final question, I have, I need to ask you, did you ever read like J14 and like?
1:04:54 Speaker 02 J14, Tiger Beat, all those people, those are my peeps. They're the beginning of the end.
1:05:04 Speaker 02 Of course I did. My Nana, my sweet Nana would, I think she still does have like a bunch of them saved. It's just so silly. Like it's very sweet, but yes, so I have some J14 Tiger Beats. I've got all the posters that I loved. That was my thing for sure.
1:05:26 Speaker 01 Did that exist before like Wizards and Hannah and all of that stuff? Or did it start with you guys?
1:05:32 Speaker 02 I think it started because I remember I'd go to the store and I would get the magazine before I had ever had anything picked up. Cause I was dying to know what Hannah Montana's shampoo secret was.
1:05:46 Speaker 01 And all the quizzes.
1:05:47 Speaker 02 And all the quizzes. Oh, I believed those quizzes to the end of me. I was like, alright, this is gonna determine on whether I live a happy life or not.
1:05:55 Speaker 01 Right? And they would have like mash and stuff.
1:05:57 Speaker 02 It was so fun.
1:05:58 Speaker 01 Was it weird when you started then going to the store and like being like seeing you on the cover?
1:06:04 Speaker 02 Uh, I don't really care.
1:06:07 Speaker 01 Right.
1:06:07 Speaker 02 I just feel like now it's different, you know, everything's so digital and I hate to sound and bring it down, but it's everything is this now.
1:06:17 Speaker 01 Right.
1:06:17 Speaker 02 So I, I have books that I buy because I believe in the power of holding something tangible. But it's so quick and everything's so vast that you're just, you can see all the pictures in that magazine in five seconds and read the article.
1:06:35 Speaker 01 It's crazy.
1:06:36 Speaker 02 It's wild.
1:06:37 Speaker 01 Isn't, isn't it crazy to see like people like your little sister who don't know anything else?
1:06:41 Speaker 02 Right. Yes. It's actually kind of scary because it's just too, it's too much of a, too much information to be given to someone at the age of 12. It just is, it just doesn't make sense because we weren't inundated with that much information. The only way I could get to Jesse McCartney was if I went online, dial up, and I put in my little floppy disk and I'd save the pictures on the folder, so I could print them out of my printer and put it in my locker. That was all the extent to Jesse McCartney I could get. Now?
1:07:24 Speaker 02 Let me DM, DM him right now. It's just too crazy. There's too, there's too, it's dangerous is all I'm trying to say. I love it. I love being able to connect with my fans. I have fun with it. It's just all about balance, I think.
1:07:41 Speaker 01 Well, Selena, what did we learn today?
1:07:44 Speaker 02 Oh, this is so sad.
1:07:46 Speaker 01 Wait, I don't want it to end either. Like, I'm happy with keeping it going.
1:07:48 Speaker 02 It's so cute, though.
1:07:51 Speaker 01 Like, you're, I'm so glad you're having a good time.
1:07:53 Speaker 02 Oh, my god, yes. I just, I, because, you know, this is what it always happens. It's always nice to do something in someone's comfort zone and their home, and you can just be who you want to be and, and I hope you carry that tonight, because whatever this thing is, we're not know if it's a date or not.
1:08:13 Speaker 01 It's unclear.
1:08:14 Speaker 02 Unclear. Have the best time and say all the funny things you want to say.
1:08:19 Speaker 01 I'm gonna, I'm gonna text Benny to tell you exactly how it goes.
1:08:22 Speaker 02 Okay, perfect, because I would love, love, love a check-in. And if you need some responses, we can conjure up a few.
1:08:30 Speaker 01 I will definitely need a few.
1:08:31 Speaker 02 Good.
1:08:32 Speaker 01 Well, what did we learn today?
1:08:33 Speaker 02 Today, I learned that I've made a new friend.
1:08:39 Speaker 01 Stop it.
1:08:40 Speaker 02 And that, and that you are definitely welcome into the Blanco Gomez family.
1:08:47 Speaker 01 Stop it.
1:08:49 Speaker 02 But I will, I don't know. I think, this is what I love to do. I actually love being able, I think you're so kind and you're sweet and you're genuine. And that's all, that's why I did it, that makes you feel better. Because I'm very much like, some can be vicious, some can be weird and a little sneaky and...
1:09:08 Speaker 01 That's not what we do here.
1:09:09 Speaker 02 What we, what we talked about is, is wanting to trust people. So if anything, I had a great time and I love my little puss university cup. And I had a blast.
1:09:23 Speaker 01 Oh, well, Selena, thank you so much for being here. Do you want to give a little bye pussies?
1:09:29 Speaker 02 Bye pussies.
1:09:41 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
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