Pod Insights Therapuss with Jake Shane Session 75: Chloe Fineman About this episode Wait, you went to clown school..?
Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring this episode!
Find exactly what you’re BOOKING for on Booking.com!
Tickets on sale now for LIVE WITH JAKE SHANE at passthatpuss.com!
Follow Chloe & Watch Her New Movie “Summer of 69” on HULU now!
@chloeiscrazy
Tell Me What's Wrong at
passthatpuss.com
Follow Me!
Instagram | @passthatpuss
TikTok | @octopusslover8
Listen to "THERAPUSS"
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781
Amazon Podcasts: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript 14,176 words · 3 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
0:38 Speaker 01 Hi pussies and welcome back to Therapuss. Tonight we have on Chloe Feynman. She's a cast member on SNL. She's in the new Hulu film, Summer of 69. She's unbelievable. One of the funniest people out there right now. I'm obsessed with her. She's also like one of the best impressionists ever. So like I had her do a few of her impressions, which was just amazing. Or I think I just had her do one. I honestly forget, but it was amazing. She really, really is the best. She's so fucking funny. She's one of my favorite parts about SNL. I love SNL, but she is really and truly one of my favorite parts. Oh, also I'm back on the road this week. I'm really, really excited about that. I guess when you're watching this, okay, so it's Wednesday.
1:22 Speaker 01 So I would have done Phoenix, Las Vegas. So I have Vancouver tonight. So right now I'm in Vancouver. So I'm back on the road. I'm really, really excited about that. I really miss tour so much. Being on stage and meeting everyone is just like the best thing in the entire world. And it's coming to an end. We only have a few shows left. If you want to see if I'm going to a city near you, go to passthatpuss.com and click Live with Jake Shane. And to submit Tell Me What's Wrong, go to passthatpuss.com and click Tell Me What's Wrong and leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. Okay, well, enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.
1:58 Speaker 01 Hi pussies and welcome back to Therapists. Today, we have actress and comedian, one of my favorite impressionists out there right now, Chloe Feynman.
2:07 Speaker 02 Hi.
2:08 Speaker 01 You do do the greatest impressions of all time. I don't know if you consider yourself an impressionist, but you do the world's greatest impressions.
2:13 Speaker 02 I don't know what else I would call it, honestly.
2:16 Speaker 01 A comedian.
2:16 Speaker 02 A comedian, yeah, but we're doing impressions.
2:19 Speaker 01 And you're in the new film Summer of 69.
2:21 Speaker 02 I am. No, I guess I'm kind of doing an impression of a stripper, but...
2:24 Speaker 01 Right, right. Did you wa- like, how did you prep for the role?
2:28 Speaker 02 Okay, I brag was at Cannes for a different movie.
2:33 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:34 Speaker 02 And Mikey Madison was like winning all of these awards and I was on TikTok and saw like her for two seconds saying all the training she did.
2:41 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:42 Speaker 02 And I, I don't know, I was like, this isn't that kind of movie, but like, why not?
2:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:49 Speaker 02 My best friend and I were in LA and we took a pole class together.
2:52 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
2:53 Speaker 02 And he was like, you should get into this, like, there's, there's potential here, there's talent. Um, and then I trained for like a month, um, non-stop, every morning in Pasadena.
3:03 Speaker 01 You would go and take a, like a pole class?
3:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, basically like, I discovered LA is like the capital of pole class.
3:10 Speaker 01 Really?
3:11 Speaker 02 Yes, I swear, once you see it, you can't unsee it. Like, every corner has a Hustlers. It's Starbucks and Hustlers.
3:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:16 Speaker 02 There are like three Hustler stores in Pasadena. And like, you think like Hollywood Boulevard and all that, but they're everywhere.
3:22 Speaker 01 Right.
3:23 Speaker 02 Truly. And, um, yeah, I just like got really into it and I, and I trained. And it's so fun and you would be good at it because you're a good dancer.
3:30 Speaker 01 Oh, you think I'm a good dancer?
3:31 Speaker 02 You're an amazing dancer.
3:33 Speaker 01 Sometimes I forget that people see what I post.
3:35 Speaker 02 Of course.
3:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
3:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, I see, even you as a child, like...
3:39 Speaker 01 Oh, you really do see?
3:41 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, I'm a, I'm a day one, baby.
3:43 Speaker 01 Well, we also follow each other. I also forget that sometimes.
3:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:45 Speaker 01 I just swiped up on something you posted. What was it again?
3:48 Speaker 02 Probably me like unhinged in my yard.
3:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was something, something. It was something. It was really funny. But, um, when did you film, where and when did you film this movie?
3:58 Speaker 02 Um, I filmed it last summer in the not stripper capital of the world, Syracuse, New York.
4:04 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
4:04 Speaker 02 You ever been?
4:06 Speaker 01 Once.
4:06 Speaker 02 Really?
4:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:07 Speaker 02 Why?
4:08 Speaker 01 I got Italian wedding soup there and I had.
4:11 Speaker 02 You were just driving through or were you doing like a college?
4:14 Speaker 01 I had like a little college Q and A.
4:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
4:17 Speaker 01 And then, you know. And.
4:19 Speaker 02 Thank you, college.
4:20 Speaker 01 I'll never forget it cuz that was when I posted a shirtless photo of myself and someone, one of my followers swiped up and was like, your condition with your boobs is like cuz of smoking.
4:31 Speaker 02 No!
4:32 Speaker 01 And I was like, okay, totally, totally.
4:34 Speaker 02 Were you a cigarette smoker?
4:35 Speaker 01 Weed. I used to smoke every day, 24/7, all the time. Haven't smoked in five months.
4:40 Speaker 02 Wow.
4:40 Speaker 01 I know. I miss it. I literally miss it every day in my life.
4:44 Speaker 02 Incredible.
4:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I guess like it, you have to pause.
4:48 Speaker 01 I had to. I was being like so lazy and so uncreative and I thought it was making me so creative and it just like, I wasn't.
4:55 Speaker 02 Yeah. Whoa.
4:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:56 Speaker 02 So it gives you like something in your chest?
4:59 Speaker 01 Apparently it gives you moobs.
5:01 Speaker 02 Man boobs?
5:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:03 Speaker 02 No, I think a lot of things give moobs. I never thought it would be marijuana.
5:07 Speaker 01 But I appreciated that they weren't like.
5:09 Speaker 02 Pot, hashish.
5:11 Speaker 01 I appreciated that they weren't like you were eating too much. They were like, no, it's a, it's a condition you have.
5:15 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
5:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:16 Speaker 02 How brutal.
5:17 Speaker 01 So what was it? Did you like Syracuse?
5:19 Speaker 02 I kind of did. I like humidity a lot.
5:22 Speaker 01 What?
5:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, I do. I like Miami is like my favorite place in the whole world.
5:27 Speaker 01 Cuz of that, like how sticky it is?
5:28 Speaker 02 I'm a Jewish girl.
5:29 Speaker 01 I'm Jewish too!
5:30 Speaker 02 I just like love Miami.
5:32 Speaker 01 Where are you? Wait, where were you raised?
5:33 Speaker 02 Um, I was Northern Cal, Berkeley.
5:35 Speaker 01 Got it.
5:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:37 Speaker 01 Got it.
5:37 Speaker 02 Berkeley Miami makes no sense.
5:39 Speaker 01 None at all.
5:40 Speaker 02 There's just something where I'm like.
5:41 Speaker 01 Yeah. You spent New Years in Miami?
5:43 Speaker 02 I have, actually.
5:45 Speaker 01 It's like horrible.
5:46 Speaker 02 I love it.
5:47 Speaker 01 Really?
5:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, cuz you can like tan.
5:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:50 Speaker 02 In January.
5:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:52 Speaker 02 First.
5:52 Speaker 01 You can tan?
5:53 Speaker 02 I did. I went to the beach.
5:54 Speaker 01 Uh, one time I got, um, have you ever gotten devil's itch?
5:57 Speaker 02 I don't know. What is that?
5:58 Speaker 01 Like, it's when an itch is so bad.
6:01 Speaker 02 Wait, what?
6:02 Speaker 01 No, I swear to God.
6:04 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
6:04 Speaker 01 You'll look it up.
6:05 Speaker 02 That sounds like, like, say, damn, a devil's itch?
6:08 Speaker 01 It was.
6:08 Speaker 02 Where? Is it like a private part of the?
6:10 Speaker 01 No, like, I, I laid out one day and I got a little, tiny little sunburn on my back and I was like, oh, can't be that serious. Took a shower and I started getting shooting itches.
6:19 Speaker 02 From the devil?
6:21 Speaker 01 And I was like, what is this? And they were like, you have devil's itch.
6:23 Speaker 02 That's a WebMD term.
6:25 Speaker 01 Yes.
6:25 Speaker 02 For real. Devil's itch.
6:27 Speaker 01 Six Benadryl every day for a week, just so I didn't have to be awake. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I would just lay like this.
6:35 Speaker 02 Oh my gosh.
6:36 Speaker 01 And I watched Glee. I sat there and watched Glee like that.
6:38 Speaker 02 And that was in Miami, you guys?
6:40 Speaker 01 No, it was in New York.
6:41 Speaker 02 What?
6:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:42 Speaker 02 Are you sure you didn't just have, like, poison ivy?
6:44 Speaker 01 No, I swear, because I kept looking at my back and it was just white. There was no red, nothing.
6:50 Speaker 02 Weird. Oh, oh, so it's like ghosty?
6:52 Speaker 01 He was like a ghost writer for like, he was like a ghost sunburn.
6:56 Speaker 02 I hate itches.
6:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, oh, it's like, oh my god.
6:58 Speaker 02 It's really bad. I know, I know.
6:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, now I'm itching. Ooh.
7:01 Speaker 02 I once scrubbed my arm with an old loofah. I was like at my parents' house and I think they just like forgot to throw out a loofah and I got, I think maybe it was devil's itch.
7:11 Speaker 01 Was it bad?
7:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was like all my arm and everyone was like, what is that?
7:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:15 Speaker 02 And I was like, I haven't been around a jellyfish, but it looks like my whole arm. And then when you have an itch or some, you don't like send it to a doctor?
7:23 Speaker 01 No.
7:23 Speaker 02 Not to stereotype, but I feel like you.
7:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know. Oh, sorry, that was such an aggressive laugh.
7:30 Speaker 02 You seem like someone who would send a photo.
7:32 Speaker 01 Well, I.
7:33 Speaker 02 Of an itch.
7:33 Speaker 01 I, you know what I did use to send photos of was my ingrown toenails.
7:37 Speaker 02 Oh.
7:37 Speaker 01 So like, I used to go to doctors for ingrowns instead of the nail salon.
7:40 Speaker 02 Okay, I get that.
7:41 Speaker 01 No, they were like, you should probably go to the nail salon. But like, one time I thought I had an STD, so I went to the doctor and they came back and they said, you don't have an STD, but you should like maybe get on anxiety meds.
7:53 Speaker 02 No.
7:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:54 Speaker 02 Cause of you, because you, there was a lump or like?
7:58 Speaker 01 No, it was like, um. It was something and I remember being like like freaking out, keep in mind, never had sex. I was a virgin and I showed up being like I'm an STD and they were like, no you don't.
8:11 Speaker 02 That was a bump or like a bug bite. I remember getting to my bit on my cooch as a child at camp and thinking I had like herpes.
8:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
8:21 Speaker 02 I was like 16, but it was a bug bite.
8:23 Speaker 01 Were you a sleepaway camp girl?
8:24 Speaker 02 Of course.
8:25 Speaker 01 What was it? Where'd you go?
8:26 Speaker 02 Um, it was called Camp Keto. It was a Jewish camp, obviously, in Berkeley and I, I worked there and went there.
8:33 Speaker 01 Oh, you were like, this is my shit.
8:35 Speaker 02 A hundred percent.
8:36 Speaker 01 Like I run this place.
8:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, I did get like fired immediately, but then rehired famously.
8:40 Speaker 01 Why'd you get fired?
8:41 Speaker 02 Um, there was this kid who will remain unnameless because he maybe watches this, I don't know. Um, but we went to
8:51 Speaker 02 um, and he had three mommies, which was cool because it was, you know, Berkeley. His moms are lesbians.
8:56 Speaker 01 And divorced.
8:56 Speaker 02 And divorced. Yeah, I took a while to do the math.
8:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:59 Speaker 02 But he would always do this thing where he was like, can I have a hug? And he was like really bad kid, but I was like, I had a soft spot and I would like go to hug him and then he would lift up my shirt, which was like savage. And I remember I was 16 and I was like, I was like, I'm gonna get back this piece of shit motherfucker. And so we were on a hike and I was like, over there, like, do you see the hawk? And he's like, where? And then I pulled his pants down.
9:25 Speaker 02 And he wasn't wearing underwear. So it was like little peen is like flopping in the wind and a bus, true story, a bus of other like campers combined, all these kids were like, boo. And everything was in slow motion and his friends were like, you don't wear underpants. And, and then I wasn't asked back. It was crazy.
9:44 Speaker 01 Was, were you like, were you, when you pants, were you like, fuck, I know I fucked up?
9:49 Speaker 02 Um, I was like, what was I thinking? I, I think honestly, I was like, ha ha. No, because I, I had no remorse because I had to be like talked to by older counselors where they're like, you cannot pants campers. And I was like, but he like lifted my shirt.
10:05 Speaker 01 And they were like, you still can't.
10:06 Speaker 02 And, and I was like, but he's a shit. I'm like, I thought it was funny.
10:10 Speaker 01 Was it sleepaway camp?
10:11 Speaker 02 Um, it was like day camp with overnights.
10:14 Speaker 01 Totally.
10:14 Speaker 02 That makes sense, right?
10:15 Speaker 01 No, it's like boarding school.
10:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
10:18 Speaker 01 There were some borders.
10:19 Speaker 02 Yes.
10:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:20 Speaker 01 Okay, amazing. So when did you transition from, what was it, Camp Ketov?
10:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:26 Speaker 01 Camp Ketov to Saturday Night Live?
10:30 Speaker 02 Immediately.
10:33 Speaker 02 It actually, weirdly, makes sense. And I'll explain why.
10:37 Speaker 01 I'm ready.
10:38 Speaker 02 Okay, so every morning we had sketch comedy.
10:41 Speaker 01 Yes.
10:41 Speaker 02 It was called kumzitz.
10:42 Speaker 01 Kumzitz?
10:43 Speaker 02 Kumzitz is Yiddish for like skits, I guess.
10:46 Speaker 01 Okay.
10:47 Speaker 02 So I discovered my comedic voice at kumzitz. You've never heard of kumzitz?
10:52 Speaker 01 No, the only Yiddish word I know is, um, uh, is mensch?
10:57 Speaker 02 Mensch? Yeah, yeah.
10:59 Speaker 01 Okay, so I thought mensch meant, you know, that's a story for another time.
11:02 Speaker 02 STD or something.
11:03 Speaker 01 I thought it was like a kiss ass, and they were like, no, like, you're a good person, it means you're a good person.
11:07 Speaker 02 A good person, yeah. My friends were always, I don't know, this is, let's see, my friends were really funny, I was good at kumzitz as a hot counselor.
11:16 Speaker 01 Right.
11:16 Speaker 02 Pantsing boys. And I think I did discover I had like comedic talent at this camp, and then I did nothing with it whatsoever. I went to NYU and was like a dramatic actress.
11:28 Speaker 01 Uh huh. Oh, really?
11:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. Yeah, plot twist.
11:31 Speaker 01 And then, when did you, how did you get involved with SNL?
11:35 Speaker 02 Um, I, yeah, I like shaved head, I kind of had like a Natalie Portman phase where I smoked and I had a pixie cut and I was really serious.
11:43 Speaker 01 Obsessed, like Black Swan?
11:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, I literally, I saw that movie and I was like, this is the story of my life, even though I never had a fan. But it like, it like deeply affected me in a crazy way.
11:52 Speaker 01 I've never seen it still.
11:54 Speaker 02 What?
11:54 Speaker 01 I know, my mom wouldn't let me when it came out.
11:56 Speaker 02 Why? Because of the lesbians?
11:59 Speaker 01 She was like, it's too inappropriate.
12:01 Speaker 02 There's a hot lesbian scene in it.
12:01 Speaker 01 I need to see it.
12:02 Speaker 02 You have to see, now it's like, it's canon. She did.
12:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, good for her.
12:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, she did, and she's amazing, and Mila Kunis is amazing.
12:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, she is in that.
12:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's very good.
12:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:13 Speaker 02 Um, you're a actress too, but we'll circle back to that. You know, you have to see Black Swan now.
12:19 Speaker 01 I know, I know. Yeah, I know. Now that I'm doing the whole thing.
12:23 Speaker 02 Now that you're a serious actor.
12:24 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, I did a little bit of hacks, so.
12:26 Speaker 02 You did a lot of it hacks. That's so exciting.
12:28 Speaker 01 I know. Oh, my God. I love that you know about my stuff.
12:34 Speaker 02 Of course. Yes. I read the trades.
12:37 Speaker 01 Yes, you do. You do read the trades.
12:39 Speaker 02 Every day.
12:40 Speaker 01 Well, when did you find out you were good at like, okay, wait, sorry, continue.
12:42 Speaker 02 So drama, drama, drama, pixie cut, smoker. And then I graduated and like when you go to acting school, you play like 50 year old alcoholics for four years.
12:52 Speaker 01 Right.
12:53 Speaker 02 And then you graduate and you're like, wait, I have to be a teenager. So I had like a like,
12:59 Speaker 02 and I moved home and I drove my parents crazy. And then I moved to LA just because other people at college, you're USC.
13:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, I was at USC.
13:08 Speaker 02 I know everything about you.
13:09 Speaker 01 I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed that you know this.
13:12 Speaker 02 Yeah. And why you? The other one. They're cousins in my head.
13:16 Speaker 01 They are cousins.
13:17 Speaker 02 They are.
13:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:18 Speaker 02 Um, yeah. And then I, I like did an improv class to meet friends. Truly. I had no interest in it, but I was like, maybe I'll meet a friend. And then sort of like when I was like 27, I discovered I could do Drew Barrymore in like an improv class. It was like, I was like, oh, my God, you know, it was really like weird. And then I just started post, but front facing videos were starting back in the day, pre TikTok.
13:45 Speaker 01 Right, right.
13:46 Speaker 02 Um, yeah, and I just started putting them on Instagram and then wound up on SNL.
13:50 Speaker 01 That's insane.
13:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:52 Speaker 01 Do you have like a favorite SNL memory?
13:56 Speaker 02 Um, I mean, where to begin? Give me like a genre.
13:59 Speaker 01 Who was your favorite host?
14:02 Speaker 02 Ariana Grande.
14:03 Speaker 01 Really?
14:04 Speaker 02 Andy, Andy, Andy. Yeah, for sure. Well, there's Pedro. I feel like Ryan Gosling.
14:10 Speaker 01 Of course.
14:11 Speaker 02 Um, but like of this year, Ariana was like 10 out of 10, like best personality, most talented, loveliest. Yeah.
14:20 Speaker 01 I'm like so jealous that you got to spend.
14:23 Speaker 02 It was amazing. It's also like I get excited when a host really isn't to like championing like your idea or like girls. I like lean girl.
14:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:34 Speaker 02 Girl, gay, whatever. My idea. And it's sometimes it's like hard to get those ideas through. So if Ariana was like, we have to do Jennifer Coolidge lipstick.
14:41 Speaker 01 Right, right.
14:42 Speaker 02 I was like, I'm like, yes, thank you.
14:44 Speaker 01 Wait, so what does your like week look like at SNL? Like, do you just write all week and then just perform Saturday?
14:49 Speaker 02 No, no. Um, we, we wake up exhausted on Sunday after being out till like four in the morning.
14:56 Speaker 01 The most fun I've ever had is at an SNL.
14:58 Speaker 02 Which after party?
14:59 Speaker 01 It was, uh.
15:00 Speaker 02 Do you have more sex in New York? I used to have that before.
15:02 Speaker 01 Yes, I only have sex in New York.
15:04 Speaker 02 That was me for years. 10 years I'd like sleep with people in New York and then like focus on me in LA.
15:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, like I, I, I lost my virginity here once, obviously, once.
15:17 Speaker 01 Once, um, and then I had sex a second time, um, after the SNL after party and that was about it.
15:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's nice.
15:24 Speaker 01 But it was the, the last SNL after party I went to was, I think it was Billie Eilish. And I forgot the host. Not, Billie was the performer. I forget who the host was.
15:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, I see it. But I, it's all a blur.
15:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I, you sometimes stay out at those until, tell me more. It's okay.
15:42 Speaker 02 I had a good show that night. I remember.
15:43 Speaker 01 Yeah. Do you remember your worst show?
15:46 Speaker 02 Um, there's so many. I remember the first time never being in the show. Um, I was like dressed as Natasha Lyonne in the bathroom, like crying.
15:56 Speaker 01 So you wake up Sunday after being out all night?
15:58 Speaker 02 All night. And then you're like, I, I, I started Sunday, which is crazy. Because it does start Monday.
16:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
16:04 Speaker 02 Monday, we come in and we pitch ideas to the host that aren't real. So it's like a joke idea. But I've had success with those. So like when Sydney Sweeney hosted, like as a joke, I was like, maybe we both work at Hooters and we're like counting tips. And I'm like, oh my God, I made $14. And then you're like, I made $60,000.
16:26 Speaker 02 And then she, no, it's funny. Thank you. No, I need it. I love it. Um, I feel so good. You have no idea. And then like I didn't, that was just like a dumb idea. And then she like DM'd me and was like, we have to make fun of my boobies. And I was like, great. So like, sometimes ideas come from that.
16:42 Speaker 01 Right.
16:43 Speaker 02 Ariana Grande, I was like, I'm just telling you my bad pitches, but like the Shalhoub look-alike thing was happening. So I was like, maybe it's a Coolidge, or no, maybe it's a Coolidge sound-alike. And then like, then that led to that skit.
16:55 Speaker 01 Right.
16:56 Speaker 02 So we like pitch ideas and then Monday, Monday, I think is for me when I'm like absolutely the most anxious. Cause I don't know what I'm doing that week.
17:03 Speaker 01 Right.
17:03 Speaker 02 And like, everyone's like meeting in offices and like laughing and you feel like left out. And I'll like open a door and there's like six people like.
17:13 Speaker 02 And I have nothing. Um, it's hell.
17:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
17:16 Speaker 02 And then that hell feeling lasts all the way until Wednesday. So.
17:21 Speaker 01 Only two days.
17:22 Speaker 02 Two days of absolute hell. And so then like, maybe I'll have some ideas or maybe not. And then I come in Tuesday and then that is like, either you're like off to the races and you're writing your idea, or like the last show, they were like, actually, there's like seven White Lotus ideas. And then I'm like, well, now I have nothing.
17:40 Speaker 01 Right, right, right.
17:42 Speaker 02 Um, but we stay up writing till 2am healthy, 3am, 4am, whatever. It's like, half of it's like, it's like call, it's like you're pulling an all-nighter.
17:52 Speaker 01 Right. Just every day.
17:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. And like, I'd say like Marcelo and I are definitely like.
17:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:58 Speaker 02 Um, but we get stuff done. And then Wednesday, we submit our stuff in the morning and we read it out loud with the host called Table Read. And then we wait around, um, a handful of us usually will be watching a Bravo show for like an hour and a half while we're waiting for picks. It's like theater camp, you know, where you're like, did I make the list?
18:18 Speaker 01 Right, right.
18:18 Speaker 02 Um, and, and then at like 10 o'clock, we find out what's picked in the show. And like you either are like, yes, or crying or like punching a wall.
18:28 Speaker 01 A hundred percent.
18:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:29 Speaker 01 And you say you watch Bravo?
18:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, like we, yeah, we all like pile in and we'll like watch a show.
18:34 Speaker 01 Right, right, right.
18:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, usually.
18:35 Speaker 01 What Bravo shows do you watch?
18:37 Speaker 02 Well Vanderpump was like a big thing, but like, R.I.P.
18:40 Speaker 01 R.I.P. It's done.
18:41 Speaker 02 It's done.
18:42 Speaker 01 Respectfully, I think it's so done. I think after, yeah, like after Scandival, it's like, how do you come back?
18:48 Speaker 02 I agree.
18:48 Speaker 01 You can't. Like obviously they're obviously gonna film with each other, but it's obviously like Ariana's not coming back. So what's the point?
18:55 Speaker 02 I know.
18:56 Speaker 01 And like Ariana's like host of Love Island, like doing the thing.
18:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
18:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:59 Speaker 02 She used it to her advantage.
19:01 Speaker 01 And it worked.
19:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, traitors. I mean, I, that's not Bravo. Um, whatever. It's just like this weird hour where you're like waiting if you like got the cast list.
19:09 Speaker 01 Right.
19:10 Speaker 02 Back in the day, we used to have it, um, like on the wall. So you'd like, everyone would like run and be like,
19:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
19:17 Speaker 02 Like, it's so crazy.
19:18 Speaker 01 Like literally high school.
19:19 Speaker 02 High school, but we're like adults.
19:20 Speaker 01 And you started in 2019, right?
19:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:22 Speaker 01 So what's the?
19:23 Speaker 02 Pre-COVID.
19:23 Speaker 01 Yeah. What's the difference SNL pre-COVID versus post-COVID?
19:26 Speaker 02 Um, I feel like when I started, there, there's like videos, but there wasn't, it was like weird that I liked it Instagram videos.
19:36 Speaker 01 What?
19:36 Speaker 02 But yeah, like there was, you know, Kate and Cecily and all those like legends, I don't think were as like video focused. And then after COVID, like P, Please Don't Destroy came on and like they came from videos. I feel like I was more of like a internet, not it, like I was like doing content.
19:54 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
19:55 Speaker 02 Um, a little bit more before like starting on the show.
19:57 Speaker 01 Right, right.
19:58 Speaker 02 Um, and now we're, I mean, we weren't on TikTok, like I think until like 2020, maybe?
20:03 Speaker 01 TikTok really helped SNL like take off for the younger generation.
20:07 Speaker 02 A hundred percent. Yeah. Like especially this year, I was like, I didn't even know we like were on TikTok.
20:11 Speaker 01 Oh, you guys are on TikTok.
20:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're getting there. Yeah, like, um, Domingo.
20:15 Speaker 01 Domingo.
20:16 Speaker 02 That was crazy.
20:17 Speaker 01 But then the audio got removed or something, but like?
20:19 Speaker 02 I know. Isn't that crazy?
20:20 Speaker 01 Why did that get removed?
20:21 Speaker 02 I don't know.
20:22 Speaker 01 Were you guys expecting Domingo to be like Domingo?
20:24 Speaker 02 Not at all. No. No.
20:26 Speaker 01 Like it just kind of was like, oh, okay, got it.
20:28 Speaker 02 No, I mean, we had fun rehearsing it. And then like when Ariana sang Pitchy, we were like, ha, ha, ha. But it was like, we really were like, you have no idea. And then it just went crazy.
20:39 Speaker 01 Do you like living in New York?
20:40 Speaker 02 I'm truly bi coastal.
20:42 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah. You really are. Do you have a place here as well?
20:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, my boyfriend has a place.
20:48 Speaker 01 My parents live in Yes.
20:50 Speaker 02 I thought you grew up in Beverly Hills.
20:52 Speaker 01 No, everyone thinks that.
20:53 Speaker 02 I know. It's okay. A lot of people think I'm nepo, but I'm not.
20:56 Speaker 01 I know you're not.
20:57 Speaker 02 Okay.
20:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. Do you go to that Italian bakery?
20:59 Speaker 02 Yes, every day.
21:00 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
21:00 Speaker 02 Everyone looks like they work at the ba- there, it's The Bear. There's a really hot sandwich guy.
21:04 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:05 Speaker 02 And he is Jeremy Allen White to me.
21:07 Speaker 01 Yep.
21:08 Speaker 02 Yes. Oh, my God. Yes.
21:10 Speaker 01 I'm trying to think of like where else I go.
21:11 Speaker 02 Everyone's into Capri Club now.
21:13 Speaker 01 What's that?
21:13 Speaker 02 Oh, Vidiotz. Do you ever go to Vidiotz? I'll see like Quinta Brunson on the sidewalk.
21:17 Speaker 01 What?
21:18 Speaker 02 Vidiotz is amazing.
21:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
21:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, they do all these screenings and like premieres and.
21:23 Speaker 01 Oh, my God.
21:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's really cool.
21:24 Speaker 01 I, there's like a camera store I go to sometimes. Never, I don't take photos, but like I walk in just to seem like I do.
21:30 Speaker 02 Just to seem like.
21:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I say hi and I'm like, how much is this? And I ask for the price of a few things and then I walk out.
21:35 Speaker 02 Really? I'm like that with bookstores.
21:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, same. What's the last time you wrote a book?
21:38 Speaker 02 I couldn't tell you, but I do, no, I read if I like, I think listening counts.
21:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:46 Speaker 02 As you're reading, like audio book.
21:48 Speaker 01 Okay, totally, totally.
21:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, so I'm like, if I can do that, like, why go like, you know, like, that's such a thing.
21:54 Speaker 01 I know. I read, I read The Housemaid. That was like the first book I read in years and years and years and years and years. That was good.
22:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'll read, I'll, I'll do like, I'll read like two books a year and it's all I talk about.
22:05 Speaker 01 Oh, so you read?
22:06 Speaker 02 But like two a year.
22:07 Speaker 01 Which books did you read last year?
22:08 Speaker 02 Uh, The Guest, I was like really into.
22:11 Speaker 01 What's that about?
22:11 Speaker 02 Um, it's about like a girl in her twenties who's like a slut and she's like hot and she's dating an older guy. And she were like, is she a sex worker? I don't know. And then she goes to the Hamptons and she kind of ruins his life. And then she just like ruins everyone's lives around her and it'll like be a movie.
22:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, that sounds amazing.
22:29 Speaker 02 So usually I'll read it if someone's like, you should like, look at this to play.
22:32 Speaker 01 Right, right, right.
22:33 Speaker 02 And then it always goes to someone else, but I enjoy the reading of it.
22:36 Speaker 01 Do you have like a dream role type?
22:39 Speaker 02 I think like a biopic of any kind.
22:42 Speaker 01 Right.
22:42 Speaker 02 Cause I'm like, that's what I always thought I would do. And then it turned into like, an impression is just like a little bio.
22:48 Speaker 01 Right, right. Do you get annoyed when people are like, do, can you do this impression for me? Or do you just like love doing it?
22:53 Speaker 02 I, I do love doing it, um, if it's someone like new.
22:57 Speaker 01 Right.
22:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:58 Speaker 01 So like, what do you mean someone new?
22:59 Speaker 02 Like if it's like someone I haven't done before.
23:01 Speaker 01 Were you nervous when you went, you were, was it Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel? And that he had you do the list of celebrities?
23:06 Speaker 02 Fallon.
23:06 Speaker 01 Fallon, were you nervous?
23:07 Speaker 02 For that, no, cause I've been doing that forever. Like, that's kinda how you get, like, I got on the show was like,
23:16 Speaker 02 I, I was so long ago, they were all auditioning for Big Little Lies. It was just like every white woman.
23:21 Speaker 01 Right, right.
23:22 Speaker 02 So I've like done it for, I think now I'm at a point where I just wanna do new stuff.
23:26 Speaker 01 Right, right.
23:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:27 Speaker 01 And do you have like any, besides Summer of 69, like are you working on anything exciting? Outside of that?
23:32 Speaker 02 Coming up?
23:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:33 Speaker 02 There's, yeah, I shot like a pickleball movie this year.
23:36 Speaker 01 Pickleball's it.
23:37 Speaker 02 I know, and I feel like we're the first one.
23:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, I haven't seen a pickleball movie.
23:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're, I think we're hopefully gonna beat everybody.
23:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, you definitely are. I haven't heard of any other pickleball movies.
23:46 Speaker 02 Right?
23:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:46 Speaker 02 I know, and everyone's like, and it was so funny when I, I like got it. Chris, Kirsten Forsyth, Kirsten, Kristen, Kristen.
23:55 Speaker 01 One of the three for, yeah.
23:57 Speaker 02 I'm so bad at Kirsten Kristen.
23:58 Speaker 01 Oh, same. What's the difference?
23:59 Speaker 02 I like short circuit. She was like, oh my God, we're in the movie. And then it was like she was in a different pickleball movie.
24:05 Speaker 01 No, so there is another pickleball movie?
24:07 Speaker 02 Well, I think there's a bunch, but like we are done, we wrapped and we come out before everybody else.
24:12 Speaker 01 Okay, got it. What's, like, how do you, what's the premise?
24:14 Speaker 02 I represent tennis.
24:17 Speaker 01 In the movie?
24:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm like the idea of tennis. And pickleball is like taking over, it's like a, um, Jake Johnson, he was a new girl.
24:25 Speaker 01 Okay.
24:25 Speaker 02 Is like, I'm like his crazy, uh, girlfriend.
24:28 Speaker 01 Got it, got it.
24:29 Speaker 02 Which is like a role I love to play.
24:31 Speaker 01 Do you love, do you prefer doing like an improv or like a scripted thing?
24:35 Speaker 02 I prefer it's scripted and then I take it and then I improv within.
24:39 Speaker 01 A hundred percent.
24:39 Speaker 02 Did you have that on hack?
24:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, they, well, there's the, like,
24:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, how do they do it?
24:42 Speaker 01 Paul and Lucia and Jen are like, so like they, you can, you know when you like, can tell why a show is as funny as it is? It's cause the environment is so good.
24:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:52 Speaker 01 Like I walked onto set and they were like, It's like creatively, you feel so like not judged, like from the person down to like the boom operator, like everyone knows each other, like everyone was so nice. So I was like, and I was so, I was so scared shitless. But they were just like, okay, and like, um, for this one, just have fun with it. And like normally I'd be so scared, but you just kind of.
25:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:10 Speaker 01 I like, that's probably how they get half of Meg Stalter's like iconic.
25:13 Speaker 02 A hundred percent.
25:14 Speaker 01 You know?
25:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:14 Speaker 01 She would be amazing on, as an SNL host.
25:17 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was surprised she, yeah, I, for a while I thought she would be on the show.
25:22 Speaker 01 Really?
25:22 Speaker 02 Of course.
25:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:23 Speaker 01 Like after Hacks or?
25:24 Speaker 02 Before.
25:25 Speaker 01 Before.
25:25 Speaker 02 And then I was like, oh, Hacks, here we go.
25:27 Speaker 01 Here we go.
25:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:27 Speaker 01 Do you watch Hacks?
25:28 Speaker 02 Of course.
25:29 Speaker 01 I love, what are you watching right now?
25:31 Speaker 02 I mean, Last of Us last night.
25:33 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. So I didn't watch it last night. I didn't watch it. I didn't watch it last night, but people are freaking out.
25:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, I, I can't say anything.
25:39 Speaker 01 Is it as good as Long, Long Time?
25:41 Speaker 02 Better.
25:42 Speaker 01 No. No.
25:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
25:45 Speaker 01 Better than Long, Long Time?
25:46 Speaker 02 Yes. Yes.
25:48 Speaker 01 And like, cry?
25:49 Speaker 02 Cry.
25:50 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm watching it the second we're done.
25:51 Speaker 02 Cry? And like Caitlin Ever is like our greatest actress.
25:55 Speaker 01 She was here. She was sitting right here.
25:57 Speaker 02 I know. I know. And, and she's so unassuming. She's just like grounded and cool and like the coolest person in the world. And, and then I'll see, I'm not giving anything away, but like Emmy now. I'm not giving anything away.
26:08 Speaker 01 I'm so excited to watch it.
26:09 Speaker 02 Don't Google.
26:10 Speaker 01 Okay, I won't Google.
26:11 Speaker 02 Whatever you do.
26:11 Speaker 01 I will never forget, like, I hate spoilers more than anything.
26:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:15 Speaker 01 Season three finale of Succession spoiled for me, so I just didn't watch the show, rest of the show.
26:18 Speaker 02 Right. I get that.
26:19 Speaker 01 And it's like, great, I miss Succession. Like, so that's cool.
26:23 Speaker 02 You can start now.
26:24 Speaker 01 I missed season two finale of White Lotus. My friend put it on. I was like, wait, I haven't seen, um, any of the season yet. She's like, no, no worries. Jennifer Coolidge, dad, cool. So it's the spoiled.
26:33 Speaker 02 So then you're like, why watch it?
26:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:34 Speaker 02 I get like, if something's really scary, I have to Google it and I have to spoil it for myself.
26:39 Speaker 01 Okay.
26:39 Speaker 02 Cause I'm sick in the head.
26:40 Speaker 01 Like with what?
26:41 Speaker 02 Like, um, like Sever, I guess I get obsessed with like, like Severance. I was like, what is it? You know, and I just, I go on like, I'm on Reddit, I'm on threads. I just like, I love the theory. I love to like, that's what I read instead of books.
26:54 Speaker 01 Yeah. I also, I also do like Reddit theories.
26:57 Speaker 02 Theory, theory. Yeah, I call it theory.
26:59 Speaker 01 Have you ever seen, oh, just, you know, it's, yeah, it's all up there. Have you ever seen The Leftovers?
27:04 Speaker 02 No. Really?
27:06 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Justin Theroux?
27:08 Speaker 02 Oh, I have, actually. Carrie Coon.
27:10 Speaker 01 Yes.
27:11 Speaker 02 Right, White Lotus. That's how you thought of it, right?
27:13 Speaker 01 It's the best. I just watched it because of White Lotus and it's unbelievable. She's amazing.
27:18 Speaker 02 She comes from the theater.
27:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's like Chicago theater vibes. Like, she's like in it, in it.
27:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, Tracy Letts, baby.
27:24 Speaker 01 Who else? What else are you watching? So Last of Us, Hacks?
27:26 Speaker 02 Um, um, obviously Love on the Spectrum.
27:30 Speaker 01 I'm the only one not watching Love on the Spectrum.
27:32 Speaker 02 You have to watch.
27:32 Speaker 01 Is it that good?
27:33 Speaker 02 It's, it's like, I've never been more emotionally affected by something.
27:38 Speaker 01 Really?
27:38 Speaker 02 I follow everybody, yeah.
27:40 Speaker 01 Oh, it's like that big?
27:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, we've had, we've had like some season ones and twos come to the show and it's really exciting.
27:46 Speaker 01 Really?
27:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's always what's so funny about SNL. Like, you'll be like, yeah, Steven Spielberg. And then you're like, oh, my God, it's, um.
27:53 Speaker 01 Abby.
27:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, or like, who was that? So, or yeah, or like Ariana Matic.
27:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
27:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, truly.
27:59 Speaker 01 And that's who you guys like really freak out over.
28:01 Speaker 02 I think so, yeah.
28:04 Speaker 01 This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! I am so excited that Booking.com has come back to sponsor us again. They are the greatest and it is about to be summer. So Booking.com will be more useful than ever. So on Booking.com, you put in where you're staying, what you need. Like, I need it to be walkable. I need a terrace. I need two beds. I need one bed. And they will put, give you hotels and rooms and vacation rentals. Can also do car rentals. Like, you can really create a well-rounded trip on Booking.com. As you guys know, like on tour, we would pull up to a city. We would have nowhere booked and we'd be like, what do we do? And then Matt would be like, pull up Booking.com, just quickly type in exactly what we need and we'd have a hotel and I just wouldn't be worried.
28:49 Speaker 01 Like, they always help me figure it out. Like, for me, I love being able to walk because I don't drive. And so I, and I also like love to wake up in the morning and walk and explore the city I'm in. So having it be walkable to things is very, very important to me. And so being able to put that in and get a hotel that's walkable to things is like just amazing. So I'm so happy that they're a sponsor of this podcast because I really like, they are truly the best. Like, I cannot say, like, they just make life easier. So thank you Booking.com for sponsoring tonight's episode. Book today on the site or in the app. Find exactly what you're booking for at Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! Thanks Booking.com for sponsoring tonight's episode.
29:32 Speaker 01 That's crazy. What starstruck you've ever been?
29:37 Speaker 02 Meryl Streep.
29:38 Speaker 01 Meryl Streep. When did she come?
29:39 Speaker 02 Um, she was at the 50th.
29:41 Speaker 01 Got it.
29:42 Speaker 02 Meryl, I finally got to meet. And then we all got COVID from the 50th.
29:47 Speaker 01 Oh, really? It was a super spreader event?
29:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I, Meryl, the people I knew who got COVID are like, me?
29:52 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
29:52 Speaker 02 Meryl.
29:53 Speaker 01 Kind of iconic.
29:54 Speaker 02 So I got Meryl's COVID.
29:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, you got literally Meryl's COVID.
29:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, I have like Meryl COVID.
29:59 Speaker 01 That's kind of iconic.
30:01 Speaker 02 Yeah. And then she came to a show the week later and she went, COVID, COVID. Yeah, went, hi COVID. And I went, hi COVID, COVID, COVID.
30:09 Speaker 01 Did she come to a lot of SNL tap dance?
30:11 Speaker 02 Um, this is a new thing. I've wanted to meet her my entire life. I did my college book report on her at NYU. I wrote like my, a full like freshman year essay on Meryl Streep's bracelet acting.
30:22 Speaker 01 Bracelet acting?
30:23 Speaker 02 She like behavior, like her behavior in the hours, she does, she's like dealing with all this like trauma. But then she'll just be like, like be like playing with a bracelet.
30:32 Speaker 01 Right.
30:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, so I wrote like a 10-page essay on that.
30:36 Speaker 01 How do you, that's incredible.
30:38 Speaker 02 You should watch, yeah, her like, she'll just do like little.
30:40 Speaker 01 Always and everything she does?
30:41 Speaker 02 And she'll be like, like, like, like she like, the love of her life is dead. She just like channels it through like necklace acting.
30:47 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, she does in Devil Wears Prada, where she'll like hold on.
30:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, like an object. Yeah, she always finds these like objects and I'm very like fascinated by it.
30:54 Speaker 01 Meryl.
30:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:56 Speaker 01 That's amazing.
30:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:58 Speaker 01 And she's just lovely.
30:59 Speaker 02 The best in the whole wide world.
31:00 Speaker 01 Oh my God. Well, she's from theater as well. I'm pretty sure she did Yale Theater.
31:03 Speaker 02 She did Yale.
31:04 Speaker 01 Wow, that's incredible. Oh my God. Okay, last SNL question. What is the most fun you've ever had at an after-party?
31:12 Speaker 02 Okay, when RuPaul hosted, all of the, all of the drag queens came out to the after-party and we all danced on tables till like 5:00 in the morning.
31:23 Speaker 01 Oh my God.
31:24 Speaker 02 And it was also, I think, the first time I'd ever like gotten on Weekend Update in my first, like, you get like your first Weekend Update?
31:29 Speaker 01 Right.
31:30 Speaker 02 And I did a bunch of impressions and I was just like, this is the best in the world. And, and like a new person would come in and everyone was like, oh my God, it's da-da-da-da-da. And we just stayed up all night and it was amazing.
31:41 Speaker 01 That's amazing.
31:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:43 Speaker 01 And do you, because there's two SNL after-parties.
31:46 Speaker 02 I know, I know.
31:47 Speaker 01 Say like.
31:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course. Are you going to the after-after?
31:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's the after and then there's the after-after.
31:52 Speaker 02 Are you after-after?
31:53 Speaker 01 I'm after-after.
31:53 Speaker 02 I have never gone.
31:54 Speaker 01 You've never after-aftered? Oh, I've stayed there till 7 a.m.
31:57 Speaker 02 Are you serious? I've gone with like, like my nieces. I like to be like a cool aunt. They're like your age. Kya, Kya's like 26.
32:04 Speaker 01 Well, the, and the after-after has a password too, right?
32:06 Speaker 02 And you're always like, "Shoop."
32:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're "shoop" or something and it's always like, I just copied.
32:10 Speaker 02 Razorly's.
32:11 Speaker 01 Sorry.
32:14 Speaker 01 But I once was at an after-after and I looked up and it was bright out. And I was like, "Oh, cool."
32:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, but that's cool. I'll stay out like on our finale, like I'll, I'll go really late, but like, maybe it was the Billie Eilish one. It was like "shoop" and then we went in and I was just like, "Ugh."
32:27 Speaker 01 Well, because, yeah, it's a lot.
32:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. You don't get grossed out by these after-afthers?
32:32 Speaker 01 No, because.
32:32 Speaker 02 Do you go to people's like house? Sometimes people go to like the pop star's like house.
32:36 Speaker 01 Right.
32:37 Speaker 02 And I hear those stories.
32:38 Speaker 01 Oh, and those are crazy?
32:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, like they're up out till 9 in the morning.
32:41 Speaker 01 That is what I want to get involved in.
32:43 Speaker 02 Yeah. Next time you're there, we need to do it.
32:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:45 Speaker 02 I want a 9 a.m. And wind up at the house of a pop star.
32:49 Speaker 01 Yes, like.
32:50 Speaker 02 Happening to a lot of people on the show and then they come in on Monday and tell me about it and I'm like.
32:56 Speaker 01 So SNL is high school?
32:57 Speaker 02 A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Yeah.
32:59 Speaker 01 It's high school.
33:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:01 Speaker 01 Is doing the weekend update scary?
33:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, very.
33:04 Speaker 01 Like how, like what was, what's scary about it?
33:06 Speaker 02 Um, I feel like lately there, I mean, there's so many of us that the, there's been a handful this year where it's like not the first time that person's done it. So they'll do it at dress rehearsal. It goes great. And then because there's like three people, there's just like all these mouths to feed or I don't, I don't know the reasoning, but they'll be like, "Sorry, not tonight." And then they have to come back the next week and they'll try and like re-kill.
33:31 Speaker 01 Got it.
33:31 Speaker 02 So like that's nerve-wracking. Um, and bombing out there is horrible, but.
33:37 Speaker 01 How do you know if you bomb though? Because the audience doesn't laugh.
33:39 Speaker 02 They're just not laughing that hard. Yeah, yeah.
33:42 Speaker 01 And is it like so terr- terrifying? Because like you're also on national television?
33:46 Speaker 02 A little bit, but you'll, they'll, you'll never get to the point of being on national television if it didn't kill at like, table read or dress rehearsal. Like you're, that, that is the one part of the show I think that is like, very like set up to succeed, which is why they're always really funny.
34:00 Speaker 01 Oh, that's that would make me feel so much more secure.
34:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, cuz you're like, it's not gonna, they're not gonna put it on TV if it's like mid.
34:07 Speaker 01 Right.
34:08 Speaker 02 Sketches, on the other hand, who know cuz you're just, it's less predictable.
34:11 Speaker 01 Right.
34:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:13 Speaker 01 Do you remember a moment where you're like, oh, my God, I just bombed?
34:15 Speaker 02 All the time.
34:16 Speaker 01 Really? No, you don't.
34:17 Speaker 02 Yes, of course. Bombing at like the table rate is amazing.
34:21 Speaker 01 Why? Cuz I, cuz do you acknowledge it? Are you just like?
34:23 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. My dream is to like be at work and if it's bombing, just be like, move on.
34:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:28 Speaker 02 But like, no one's ever done that.
34:30 Speaker 01 Right.
34:30 Speaker 02 And just be like, why are we here? Bye, done. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Lauren, you know?
34:35 Speaker 01 Right.
34:36 Speaker 02 Sorry, sorry. Yeah, cuz it, cuz there, a sketch is like ten to twelve pages. It's supposed to be ten, sometimes they're twelve. And just to like sit in like deafening silence for twelve pages is the worst experience in the world.
34:48 Speaker 01 Oh, cuz no one's laughing?
34:49 Speaker 02 No one's, it's almost as worse as your flight you almost had to take, right? No charger, but then someone saved you.
34:54 Speaker 01 I'm obsessed with you. Like, seriously, like, I really, I'm obsessed that you like-
34:58 Speaker 02 Happened to me. Well, also, I like, I feel for you and like, nothing is worse.
35:02 Speaker 01 Well, it was like a cry for help. I got on the plane-
35:04 Speaker 02 Also, what is wrong with that plane that doesn't have purges?
35:07 Speaker 01 I never, ever been on Southwest before. Sorry.
35:09 Speaker 02 It's okay, it's okay.
35:11 Speaker 01 I'd never been on Southwest and I, I got on and my, my manager was like, okay, so when you go on, it's like the Hunger Games. And I was like, what the fuck do you mean? And she was like-
35:18 Speaker 02 Were you not A?
35:19 Speaker 01 No, I was-
35:20 Speaker 02 You obviously were A.
35:21 Speaker 01 I was A. But like, it was like, it was like, but she was like, you have to bolt for your seat. Like, you have to go get, like, get your seat. Like, it's like the cornucopia. And I was like, oh, okay, got it.
35:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:31 Speaker 01 So I sat down, my phone was at three percent. I thought I was like so one with the world. I was like, I'll just charge my phone on the plane. I'm like, go in.
35:37 Speaker 02 No, I know. This is this. And then when you're like-
35:40 Speaker 01 And then I was like, oh, my God, there's no charger. So I had three percent left and I, it was like shooting up like a, what is it? Like a SOS?
35:48 Speaker 02 Oh, oh, an SOS. heroin.
35:49 Speaker 01 And I was like, oh, yeah, no, I shot up heroin and then I posted about the-
35:53 Speaker 02 Yeah. Wait, and it's, okay, did you go to the bathroom? Cuz you can go into a wet Southwest toilet and usually there is an outlet.
36:01 Speaker 01 What?
36:01 Speaker 02 But you will electrocute yourself, but you can get a little bit of juice.
36:04 Speaker 01 Okay, so I posted on my, my TikTok, like, please help me. I, I, if I, if you don't see me- I love you because like really I was like
36:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're dying.
36:12 Speaker 01 I'm like sitting there like there's no TV. There's no, I don't have a book.
36:15 Speaker 02 No.
36:15 Speaker 01 My Nintendo's dead.
36:16 Speaker 02 No, we don't read in this house.
36:18 Speaker 01 What the fuck am I supposed to do?
36:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:19 Speaker 01 And Louis, my friend wasn't sitting next to me.
36:22 Speaker 02 How long was the flight gonna be?
36:23 Speaker 01 It was only 50 minutes. But I was freaking out. And then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was like from God and she was like, hey, I saw your TikTok and I have a portable charger for you.
36:33 Speaker 02 I've gone back in the day and like gone to the flight attendants and be like, please, please.
36:38 Speaker 01 And what do they say?
36:38 Speaker 02 Like, we can't.
36:40 Speaker 01 Why?
36:41 Speaker 02 Because they're like, if we give it to you, like there goes the neighborhood, like we give it to everybody. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not afraid to like cry. I went, I'm acting trained. I can cry on command.
36:50 Speaker 01 You can cry on command?
36:51 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
36:52 Speaker 01 How did you learn to do that?
36:53 Speaker 02 Acting school.
36:55 Speaker 01 But how, what are their techniques to teach you to cry on command?
36:57 Speaker 02 We talked about this at work. Do you see the water coming already?
37:00 Speaker 01 Yes.
37:00 Speaker 02 Um, okay, so one thing that it's like a, it's like from clowning.
37:05 Speaker 01 Okay.
37:05 Speaker 02 Separate story, but basically like you think of yourself as like a balloon and you think of like someone popping your balloon and your chest kind of sinks.
37:13 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
37:15 Speaker 02 And like if you feel that sensation of like sinking.
37:19 Speaker 01 I see water in your eyes.
37:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I'm, you're kind of getting a little bit.
37:23 Speaker 01 I can't, I haven't cried in six years.
37:26 Speaker 01 I haven't, I'm on Prozac, I haven't cried.
37:27 Speaker 02 I know, but that's healthy.
37:28 Speaker 01 Should we try to cry?
37:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
37:30 Speaker 01 Okay, ready?
37:31 Speaker 02 You don't have to like think about anything or just, it's also like hot in here. Think about your no battery phone. Think about what if you were going to Hawaii? And you couldn't charge your phone because you're on like Southwest to Hawaii? And there's no wifi because there's no wifi when you go to Hawaii because you're over the ocean.
37:48 Speaker 01 Oh my God, I totally forgot that's how you get wifi in planes. You can't be over the ocean.
37:51 Speaker 02 You can't be over the ocean.
37:52 Speaker 01 Okay, okay.
37:53 Speaker 02 So imagine we're in Hawaii.
37:55 Speaker 01 I'm like, I can't cry.
37:57 Speaker 02 It's okay.
38:02 Speaker 02 I see it. There it is. Sinking, sinking.
38:08 Speaker 02 You are, you are.
38:09 Speaker 01 I feel it a little.
38:14 Speaker 01 It's not working.
38:15 Speaker 02 But it is.
38:16 Speaker 01 It's working for you.
38:17 Speaker 02 I know.
38:18 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
38:19 Speaker 02 I think I'm just like, I've had a day.
38:21 Speaker 01 I just, I haven't like actually cried.
38:23 Speaker 02 But you have days, it just like lead into the day.
38:25 Speaker 01 No, I've had days too. You have had a day? What do you mean you've had a day?
38:28 Speaker 02 Trying to drive over, I truly, I can't, I mean, there's, obviously I'm blessed and I'm grateful to be here, but like, nothing gets me more therapists than like wrong turn.
38:37 Speaker 01 And how many wrong turns?
38:38 Speaker 02 LA is like hell.
38:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:39 Speaker 02 And like the 134 is the 5 is the 101. Like make up your mind.
38:43 Speaker 01 I don't even drive. You know, I don't have the license.
38:47 Speaker 02 How, so you Ubering?
38:48 Speaker 01 Every day, three times a day. I get the same driver sometimes. Hey, girl. Yeah, I Ubered three to four times a day, every day.
38:56 Speaker 02 Wow, and you don't see like, I, okay, there was a period where I like really missed New York and I moved downtown. And I got rid of my car because I was like, I'm just gonna be like, it's like, it's New York, it's downtown LA.
39:07 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no.
39:08 Speaker 02 I know, I know.
39:09 Speaker 01 No.
39:09 Speaker 02 And I Ubered a lot, but then like the Axe body spray scent really started to get to me.
39:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I like know how to.
39:17 Speaker 02 You know that smell.
39:18 Speaker 01 No, I know how to like.
39:19 Speaker 02 And it's distinctly LA. And then there's also like that like cherry alcohol smell, do you know, it's just like car fresheners.
39:24 Speaker 01 Right. I just, my only issue is sometimes I'm, I'm not in the mood to talk, but I feel so rude not speaking and not asking how everyone's day was.
39:34 Speaker 02 That's really good.
39:35 Speaker 01 So it's like, I wish I had a car for that reason, but I refuse to use Waymo.
39:40 Speaker 02 Right, no, no, no.
39:41 Speaker 01 Because I'm like, that, I feel like puts people out of a job.
39:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like, that's true.
39:46 Speaker 01 You know, I don't, I do miss that. I want that feeling of driving and singing with no one watching. I've never had that. I've always been in the car with someone else. I've never been in the car alone.
39:56 Speaker 02 Do you have your license?
39:57 Speaker 01 No, I've never dr- I've driven once.
39:59 Speaker 02 But you have your license?
40:00 Speaker 01 No.
40:01 Speaker 02 So you illegally drove?
40:02 Speaker 01 Like around a parking lot.
40:04 Speaker 02 Oh my gosh.
40:05 Speaker 01 Because before I did this podcast, I was gonna do a show where I had different, like celebrities teaching me how to drive.
40:11 Speaker 02 That's a great idea.
40:12 Speaker 01 So it's also illegal.
40:14 Speaker 02 Oh.
40:14 Speaker 01 Because like TikTok wouldn't have let me put it up.
40:16 Speaker 02 Right, right, right.
40:17 Speaker 01 And like, it was a whole to do, so then I ended up with Therapists.
40:21 Speaker 02 I almost didn't get my license.
40:23 Speaker 01 Really?
40:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, true story.
40:25 Speaker 01 How?
40:26 Speaker 02 Um, my, my thing was expiring. What is that? Your, not your li- um.
40:31 Speaker 01 A passport?
40:32 Speaker 02 No.
40:32 Speaker 01 ID?
40:33 Speaker 02 Permit.
40:34 Speaker 01 Permit?
40:34 Speaker 02 My permit was like about to expire and I was in Oakland and like the only DMV appointment I could get was like by the airport and there were all these like, I don't know, I just kept like, like if someone was like crossing the street early in the morning, I would like speed up.
40:48 Speaker 01 Right.
40:48 Speaker 02 I was just like a terrible driver, but I was in my mom's Mini Cooper.
40:51 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
40:52 Speaker 02 I failed all the tests and then I was like, no, but like my license, like you don't understand, like I'm not gonna get my license. And then she was like, she was like, I didn't think I was gonna fit into this car and it's really cool that I did. Don't tell your mom, but like you need more help. And then she like erased one of the points and I got my license. True story.
41:09 Speaker 01 That's how you got your license?
41:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, true story.
41:12 Speaker 01 Are you serious?
41:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, cuz the, the Mini Cooper isn't as mini as you think.
41:16 Speaker 01 Oh my god. So she was just so hyped to be like, damn, I, I got in the car.
41:20 Speaker 02 But then, like three years later, when my sister was doing all that stuff, there was a knock at the door for like student driver and I was like, oh, let me get my sister. And then my family was like, no, it's for you. So they like ambushed me and made me like re- retrain. Cuz I'm a horrible driver. It took me an hour and a half to get here when the ETA was 26 minutes.
41:40 Speaker 01 No, what?
41:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, true story.
41:42 Speaker 01 And how did you?
41:43 Speaker 02 I just made a lot of wrong turns and wound up in Sherman Oaks for a long time.
41:47 Speaker 01 I love Sherman Oaks.
41:48 Speaker 02 Me too, obsessed.
41:49 Speaker 01 Good sushi, good frozen yogurt.
41:50 Speaker 02 Yep.
41:51 Speaker 01 Don't want anything else.
41:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, I agree.
41:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:52 Speaker 02 Sushi and frozen, what more can you ask for, really?
41:55 Speaker 01 Sweet and salty.
41:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:56 Speaker 01 That's it.
41:56 Speaker 02 True story.
41:57 Speaker 01 True story.
41:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:59 Speaker 01 Wait, so can you tell me about the plot of the movie Summer of 69? Because I know it, but I don't know if the pussies know it.
42:05 Speaker 02 Okay, so, and are the pussies in the camera?
42:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, the pussies are-
42:08 Speaker 02 Or this camera, am I doing this right?
42:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, this camera.
42:10 Speaker 02 Um, okay, the plot of Summer of 69 is a high school girl has a crush on like the football player, and overhears that he like is really into 69-ing, and she like doesn't quite know what 69-ing is, and for whatever reason like hires a stripper to teach her about sex and confidence, and I play the stripper.
42:31 Speaker 01 That's so beautiful.
42:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:32 Speaker 01 And the stripper's name is Santa Monica?
42:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:34 Speaker 01 Okay, amazing. And were you a part of the creative process of writing the script at all? Or were you just cast in it?
42:40 Speaker 02 I've been obsessed with Gillian Bell forever, like she's, when I was doing Groundlings, she was like on the wall and like-
42:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's amazing.
42:47 Speaker 02 21, 22 Jump Street, like just the funniest person. And so I knew it was gonna be her first time directing, and like I knew we could do improv and stuff, and then like I read the script and it was like, she's so hot and confident, and I was like, I'll play that.
43:00 Speaker 01 Right, right.
43:01 Speaker 02 Sign me up. Um, but we did like, the script was one way and Gillian like rewrote it, and then like throughout the summer, we were kinda like rewriting it and tweaking and doing all the fun stuff.
43:13 Speaker 01 What is your, I know this is kind of, number one, that sounds incredible, and I'm so excited to see it. Number two, what is your favorite movie of all time?
43:23 Speaker 02 My favorite movie?
43:23 Speaker 01 Or television show?
43:25 Speaker 02 What's yours?
43:26 Speaker 01 My favorite movie's Devil Wears Prada. It's the most or, um, yeah, Devil Wears Prada. It's like the gayest answer, but it's true. Because it remind, because I'll always say like, it, when I watched that movie when I was a kid, I was like, I will never make the mistake and Hathaway made in that movie, and I will always put my work above everything.
43:41 Speaker 02 Wow, I love that.
43:42 Speaker 01 Which is, isn't the message you're supposed to take from it?
43:44 Speaker 02 No, but that's true.
43:44 Speaker 01 But like, that's what I took.
43:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:46 Speaker 01 I was like, damn, she fumbled that bag. Like she left Paris.
43:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's true. Number one movie Devil's Prada, wow.
43:54 Speaker 01 And then my number one TV show is Girls on HBO.
43:57 Speaker 02 I love, and you're like, I feel like everyone's like rediscovering Girls right now.
44:00 Speaker 01 Yep, and I literally was like-
44:02 Speaker 02 What did you read, or were you like watching it like when it came out?
44:05 Speaker 01 I watched it when it came out. Obviously, I didn't understand-
44:08 Speaker 02 Anything.
44:08 Speaker 01 The gravity of anything.
44:09 Speaker 02 For sure.
44:10 Speaker 01 And then I watched it as a 24-year-old.
44:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:14 Speaker 01 23, 24?
44:15 Speaker 02 This is my-
44:15 Speaker 01 And I was like, like, I was like 11, I was like, oh my god, I feel so seen.
44:19 Speaker 02 Who are you? Who do you identify? Hannah. Yeah, really?
44:22 Speaker 01 Hannah, oh my god.
44:23 Speaker 02 Cause like, okay, interesting.
44:25 Speaker 01 Who do you identify as?
44:26 Speaker 02 Well, obviously in my head, I've always like, it was like with anything, like I wanted to be Jemima Kirk, Mermaid, but like I'm, I'm probably like wired as Shoshana.
44:36 Speaker 01 Right, okay, well, Shoshana's the best character.
44:37 Speaker 02 I agree. But I, but yeah, it's kind of like with Sex and the, like, my friends and I were all virgins watching Sex and the City when it came out, and I was like, I am Samantha.
44:47 Speaker 01 Right, right.
44:48 Speaker 02 Hadn't-
44:48 Speaker 01 Had sex.
44:49 Speaker 02 Seen a penis.
44:50 Speaker 01 You did bring up your virginity story before we started this podcast.
44:53 Speaker 02 I did, I don't, yeah, I'm obsessed with it.
44:57 Speaker 01 What is it?
44:58 Speaker 02 My V, my, when I lost my V card. Um, okay, where to begin?
45:03 Speaker 01 This isn't me being creepy, by the way, like Khloe literally brought this up.
45:06 Speaker 02 I was like, I'm an hour late.
45:08 Speaker 01 She was literally 10 minutes late.
45:10 Speaker 02 I was 15 minutes late.
45:10 Speaker 01 And she was like, I have a story, a virginity story, and then we just started. And I never really followed up about it, but now I am.
45:17 Speaker 02 Um, okay.
45:18 Speaker 01 I'll tell you mine after.
45:18 Speaker 02 Oh, really?
45:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:19 Speaker 02 Okay, cool.
45:20 Speaker 01 Or do you want me to start, whatever you're more comfortable with?
45:22 Speaker 02 Um, I kind of want to hear yours, because you make me laugh so hard, and then I'll be giggly-
45:26 Speaker 01 You make me laugh so hard.
45:27 Speaker 02 And then I'll tell you mine.
45:28 Speaker 01 Okay, okay. Mine is, I was like, fuck, I need to have sex. Like, I'm 22 years old, and I, I haven't, 21, I'm 21 years old, and I haven't had sex, like-
45:38 Speaker 02 Post-college.
45:39 Speaker 01 No, college. And I'm like, this is ridiculous. So I went on Grindr, and I'm like, I just need to find someone to have sex with me.
45:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:45 Speaker 01 At this point. Found this 32-year-old guy, and I was like, huh. He seems cute. And then by the information given to me by him, I Google what I find to be someone and it says he's 39. But he's from Johannesburg and I'm like, oh, this doesn't seem like-
46:00 Speaker 02 That's South Africa.
46:02 Speaker 01 Yes, and I'm like, this doesn't seem like the same guy. This guy like kinda has like a valley girl accent or like American accent like,
46:08 Speaker 02 Okay.
46:08 Speaker 01 You know, like, he doesn't have a South African accent.
46:11 Speaker 02 Okay, so you're getting like catfishy.
46:13 Speaker 01 Well, no, but like, I'm just thinking, oh, it's not the same guy because he wouldn't lie about being 32 instead of 39. So then I go over to his house, don't eat for the entire day.
46:20 Speaker 02 Once you're 39, you lie and say you're 32.
46:23 Speaker 01 Right, right. And I showed up, he made me a drink and I was like, so where are you from? And he was like, Johannesburg. I was like, how old are you again? And he was like, 32, like, do I look older? And I was like, and in that moment, I could have left and I said, no. And we went upstairs and had sex. Yeah, and then I was like, oh my God, I can't believe I had sex. And I was like, do you have a cigarette? And he's like, did you just ask me for a cigarette so you could say you smoked a cigarette after sex? And that is my virginity story.
46:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly.
46:48 Speaker 01 And I hit him up again.
46:50 Speaker 02 Well, because I do believe in like the second tie.
46:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:54 Speaker 02 My friends and I were obsessed with Sex and the City and, um, basically, okay, it's kind of a long story. But I mean, can I give the pre and then the full?
47:02 Speaker 01 Yes, please.
47:02 Speaker 02 Okay, so the pre story, what my, we're from San Francisco, we were like very like body forward. Like my friends and I, we all bought each other like vibrators. We were like 15 and, you know, just like woo-hoo-hoo.
47:15 Speaker 01 Right.
47:16 Speaker 02 And my parents were really lax and we all decided to get drunk for the first time at my house. Cause like my mom wasn't like mean about it. And she, and we were always kind of like naked, we're, you know, just like that.
47:30 Speaker 01 Right.
47:30 Speaker 02 Like normal. And like my mom came downstairs, we're really drunk, I didn't have a top on and my mom was like, oh, you girls.
47:38 Speaker 02 And then my friend Hannah like didn't know where her clit was. And I was like,
47:43 Speaker 01 Hannah, it's right here.
47:45 Speaker 02 And I was like, kind of doing like a science lesson. And I, cause I was like, you have to know.
47:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:51 Speaker 02 Like you cannot go through life not knowing. And you're, so we were like show shwasted. And then my friends were like, you need to lose your virginity. And I was like, good idea. And so they called my boyfriend. And then instead of just saying like, you have to have sex. Like we drunkenly, my, my best friends were like, you need to go down on her yesterday. Hung up. Next morning I wake up, I like puke everywhere. All my friends get in trouble and grounded. I didn't, cause I like told my parents I drank and they're like, thank you for your honesty. Anyway, that's side note.
48:25 Speaker 01 Okay. Great.
48:26 Speaker 02 That's my pre.
48:27 Speaker 01 Okay, good. I was so worried that that was it.
48:30 Speaker 02 Yeah. So then the next weekend, his parents are out of town. They're going to go antiquing, cause that's like a Northern California. Yeah. Have you ever gone antiquing? I now go antique. You just like go to like, honestly, like near here, you can like get an antique, like a furniture.
48:45 Speaker 01 Oh, cool.
48:46 Speaker 02 They were going antiquing.
48:48 Speaker 01 Okay.
48:49 Speaker 02 Um, I don't know why I shared that part.
48:52 Speaker 01 No, it's important to the story.
48:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, they were going.
48:53 Speaker 01 I mean, I would, would have wondered where they went.
48:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, they were going antiquing. And I got like this like hot pink bra and underwear set from Gap body, which was like new at the time.
49:03 Speaker 01 Gap body?
49:04 Speaker 02 Yeah. Gap body was just as hot as Victoria's Secret, but I thought like, you know.
49:07 Speaker 01 Right.
49:08 Speaker 02 So I'm wearing my Gap body and I go to his house and he's like, my parents are antiquing, but I'm still worried that they might come home, so let's go upstairs. And I was like, what is upstairs? And he was like, well, my grandma used to live here and now it's just like empty and there's a room. And I was like, okay. So we go upstairs and it turns out she had a clock collection. So there were like truly like 200 ticking clocks. Now it's like, it's like The Shining. It's like an A24 horror movie.
49:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:33 Speaker 02 And like, they're like cuckoo, cuckoo.
49:36 Speaker 02 And everyone's like tic, tic, tic, time to lose your virginity, little girl. Tic, tic, tic, tic. And then we're like making out and then we go into this room and there's like, like doilies and like old florals. And it's like kind of spooky. And then as I'm like gonna have it happen and it's like. Ow, obviously that's part of it, right?
49:54 Speaker 01 No, yeah.
49:54 Speaker 02 Ow. Yeah, so the ow, and I turned and there's just like a picture of his like dead grandma looking at my soul and she kind of had like, you know, it was like kind of this.
50:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:05 Speaker 02 Those like eighties pictures with like the big glasses.
50:07 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
50:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, so that happened and it was terrible, but then because I had watched so much Sex in the City, I was like, we're doing it again. And so we like walked and got fake handcuffs and then I was like, do me right.
50:22 Speaker 01 That was fast.
50:23 Speaker 02 Yeah. Day, all in the same day.
50:26 Speaker 01 All in the same day?
50:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:27 Speaker 01 Oh, that's kind of amazing.
50:28 Speaker 02 And then the Bible fell.
50:29 Speaker 01 And then the Bible, the Bible fell?
50:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, the Bible fell. We went to his room and the Bible fell.
50:32 Speaker 01 That is so symbolic.
50:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:34 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. That's an amazing story.
50:35 Speaker 02 Thank you.
50:36 Speaker 01 Sorry, I don't mean to scare you, but these are, do you know about the tell me what's wrongs?
50:40 Speaker 02 Yes.
50:41 Speaker 01 Do you do?
50:41 Speaker 02 No, I don't, actually. I almost lied, but I couldn't.
50:44 Speaker 01 No, no, I so appreciate the half lie. So basically, the tell me what's wrongs are the pussies write in and they tell us what's wrong.
50:51 Speaker 02 Okay.
50:51 Speaker 01 And we give them advice.
50:53 Speaker 02 Okay.
50:54 Speaker 01 And I feel like there's, also, before we finish.
50:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:59 Speaker 01 Do you think if I asked you at the end to do an impression of me, you'd be able to?
51:03 Speaker 02 I feel like it would be like, wait, wait, no, no.
51:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:07 Speaker 02 I'd have to like get, yeah, I think it's this or this.
51:10 Speaker 01 Yes, loud and.
51:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:12 Speaker 01 Uncomfortable, like.
51:13 Speaker 02 This is my favorite thing.
51:15 Speaker 01 That I do?
51:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:16 Speaker 01 Do I do that?
51:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, like, like, like I was like Last of Us, like, don't tell me, don't tell me.
51:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:22 Speaker 02 I'll get it.
51:23 Speaker 01 You'll get it.
51:23 Speaker 02 I'll get, I have to get the voice.
51:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, the voice is, oh, God, when you get that voice, it's just.
51:28 Speaker 02 I'm gonna get your voice, bitch.
51:29 Speaker 01 You are. Wait, can I pretend to interview, before we get into the tell me what's wrongs, can I pretend to interview Drew Barrymore quickly?
51:35 Speaker 02 Okay, quickly.
51:35 Speaker 01 Okay.
51:36 Speaker 02 Only if the fans don't hate it.
51:38 Speaker 01 Do people get mad at you for it?
51:39 Speaker 02 I feel like they're like over it, but.
51:40 Speaker 01 I will never be over there. Have you seen this Drew Barrymore impression? Okay, ready?
51:44 Speaker 02 Okay.
51:46 Speaker 01 Hi, Drew.
51:46 Speaker 02 Hi, I'm obsessed with you.
51:50 Speaker 01 Thank you so much.
51:51 Speaker 02 Thank you.
51:51 Speaker 01 Do you love doing your talk show?
51:53 Speaker 02 You know, yeah, I really do. It's like, I'm like emotional, like talking about it.
52:00 Speaker 01 Right, do you feel like your whole life has led to it?
52:03 Speaker 02 A hundred percent. It's the most thrilling, beautiful, generous thing I could do, you know, as a mom and a mother.
52:15 Speaker 02 It's like to the side.
52:17 Speaker 01 That is uncanny.
52:18 Speaker 02 Thank you.
52:19 Speaker 01 That's incredible. Okay, are you ready for the tell me which dogs?
52:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm ready.
52:24 Speaker 01 My friend smells so bad. Brags about not washing her hair or brushing her teeth and it's embarrassing to bring her out. Her teeth are visibly rotting.
52:31 Speaker 02 No.
52:31 Speaker 01 What do we do?
52:32 Speaker 02 She has to have an intervention.
52:34 Speaker 01 Right, but like she, but she knows it.
52:37 Speaker 02 Does the girl know her teeth are visibly rotting?
52:39 Speaker 01 I, that I don't know.
52:40 Speaker 02 I have encountered, I'm like, that is like, I cannot.
52:44 Speaker 01 Right.
52:45 Speaker 02 I have had bad breath in my life, not like, like at me. And I will go and be like, someone needs to like handle this.
52:52 Speaker 01 Right.
52:53 Speaker 02 I like cannot.
52:54 Speaker 01 It's the, I think it is the most jarring insult to receive. Not insult, just like criticism. Like your breath smells bad, like your, your entire self shuts down.
53:03 Speaker 02 I know, so maybe there's like a, well, have they been like, hey, do you want some gum? Like usually that, that I used to do, like, do you want some gum?
53:10 Speaker 01 Right, like you have the resources.
53:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, like just go to like CVS or whatever.
53:14 Speaker 01 Right.
53:14 Speaker 02 Just like.
53:15 Speaker 01 That's crazy, intervention.
53:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'd say inter, I'd say like start with gum, then be like, Listerine.
53:20 Speaker 01 And like a toothbrush?
53:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:22 Speaker 01 And a shower?
53:23 Speaker 02 Or, or like have a sleepover and been like, time to brush our teeth.
53:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, like.
53:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:27 Speaker 01 And if she's like, no, then be like, you have to leave.
53:29 Speaker 02 I forget, like I will be the first to admit, like we, and works at like four in the morning and nine in the morning or whatever.
53:35 Speaker 01 Right.
53:36 Speaker 02 And my boyfriend is like, did you brush your teeth?
53:39 Speaker 01 Right.
53:39 Speaker 02 And I hadn't.
53:40 Speaker 01 Sometimes I forget.
53:42 Speaker 02 So like a lot of our relationship is me being like, I brushed my teeth.
53:44 Speaker 01 Right, right, right, yeah. I used, I mean, I like, I always brush my teeth, but sometimes at night I'm just like, fuck it and I go to bed.
53:50 Speaker 02 4am's hard.
53:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:52 Speaker 02 But I'm doing it.
53:53 Speaker 01 My hot landlord left me tequila and pastries.
53:56 Speaker 02 Ooh.
53:56 Speaker 01 Wants to unpack all my moving, moving boxes and keeps flirting. He's a dillf. Is this delusional or fate?
54:03 Speaker 02 I think it's fate.
54:04 Speaker 01 I think it's fate too.
54:04 Speaker 02 A hundred percent, pastries?
54:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, and tequila?
54:07 Speaker 02 And packing, you have to hire somebody? Or like, you know?
54:11 Speaker 01 Right.
54:12 Speaker 02 Whatever, roadway movers.
54:14 Speaker 01 Right.
54:14 Speaker 02 So like everyone does on Instagram.
54:17 Speaker 01 Do they make money?
54:18 Speaker 02 I don't think they do. Every time I see someone move, they're like, thanks roadway. And I'm like, what is this company?
54:24 Speaker 01 They can't make money, there's no way they make money.
54:26 Speaker 02 No, and they're not a real company, but I will be needing them if I move.
54:30 Speaker 01 Are you planning on moving?
54:31 Speaker 02 No, I'm not.
54:31 Speaker 01 When are you back in New York?
54:33 Speaker 02 Um, I leave on a red eye midnight tonight.
54:37 Speaker 01 I leave on a red eye tonight.
54:38 Speaker 02 Wait, really?
54:39 Speaker 01 Yeah. We should maybe get together this week in New York. I'm around all week.
54:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm around.
54:43 Speaker 01 Wait, should we get a drink?
54:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
54:44 Speaker 01 I want to see your place.
54:45 Speaker 02 Please come over.
54:46 Speaker 01 Oh.
54:46 Speaker 02 It's cute. I'm proud of it.
54:47 Speaker 01 No, it's so cute. Didn't, did you just do like, did you just show, like, do a tour of it somewhere?
54:52 Speaker 02 I did AD like a while ago.
54:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:54 Speaker 01 I saw that. It's gorgeous.
54:55 Speaker 02 Thank you.
54:57 Speaker 01 I have a ton of fun time friends, but none I'm emotionally compatible with. Am I wrong for feeling disconnected from people I party with? Oh, I think it's just-
55:05 Speaker 02 It's fun times, that's just party people. That's not a sex term.
55:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think it's fine to have friends that are just going out friends.
55:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think so, for sure.
55:13 Speaker 01 It's super normal.
55:14 Speaker 02 That's also like all of like college.
55:16 Speaker 01 Right, and it's like, almost like so much better when you realize like, oh, I like going out with these people and I like spending time staying in with these people.
55:23 Speaker 02 Totally.
55:24 Speaker 01 You can't always like have a 360 friend.
55:27 Speaker 02 I agree. I have a lot of like, some of my closest friends aren't like, we're gonna go dance.
55:31 Speaker 01 Right. They're like, let's chill at home.
55:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:33 Speaker 01 And that's totally fine. Like, you have different friends for different situations.
55:36 Speaker 02 Totally.
55:37 Speaker 01 My friend's therapist told her she needs different buckets of guys and like, that's what I would describe it.
55:42 Speaker 02 That's interesting. Buckets of friends.
55:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:44 Speaker 01 You need different friends for different things.
55:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:46 Speaker 01 I mean, like, if you hit the lottery and like, you like, you got a 360 and they like staying in, they like going out, all the things, but like, that's not always the case and like, you can have different friends for different things.
55:55 Speaker 02 But it's like, the 360 is like your best friend.
55:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:58 Speaker 01 And you, I'm sure this person has that.
56:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:00 Speaker 01 And like emotionally compatible, like, yeah, okay, then maybe, I don't know what they mean by-
56:06 Speaker 02 That feels like dating.
56:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't know what they mean by emotionally compatible.
56:10 Speaker 02 That's like too much.
56:11 Speaker 01 Well, maybe they're saying like, they don't, they're friends that they actually like spending time with, don't like to go out?
56:16 Speaker 02 Oh, I get that. I have that.
56:19 Speaker 01 You'll find, going out friends, they come and they go, you find a new one.
56:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:23 Speaker 01 You, that, you know, like, you'll, you'll get it.
56:25 Speaker 02 Totally.
56:26 Speaker 01 It's like, it's like dating.
56:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:28 Speaker 01 Yeah. My best friend of eight years gave the guy I was seeing a special, if you know what I mean, under a blanket. Well, I was-
56:36 Speaker 02 A handjob?
56:37 Speaker 01 Must be.
56:39 Speaker 02 A special ending?
56:41 Speaker 01 Like that must be-
56:41 Speaker 02 Just say it.
56:42 Speaker 01 While I was sitting next to them, I just found out-
56:44 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
56:46 Speaker 01 It's the end of friendship.
56:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:48 Speaker 01 Right?
56:48 Speaker 02 That girl's crazy. That's a crazy person.
56:50 Speaker 01 That's sociopathic.
56:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, 100%.
56:52 Speaker 01 Have you ever had a girlfriend that's like broken girl code like that?
56:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, I, I, okay, I don't know if this is like known to you, but there's like a clown scene in LA.
57:02 Speaker 01 What?
57:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, like people who are like bad at improv get into like clowning. At least this is like the east side.
57:07 Speaker 01 Wait, to what? What do you mean clowning?
57:09 Speaker 02 There was like a big clown scene in LA. Like, it was like for like, like people who like kinda did stand up, kinda did improv, and then there was like clown.
57:19 Speaker 01 Okay.
57:19 Speaker 02 No, like alt comedy, like very alt comedy.
57:22 Speaker 01 Like miming?
57:22 Speaker 02 No, like, it was kind of like raunchy and like, sort of like, like, like fucking with the audience.
57:28 Speaker 01 Right.
57:29 Speaker 02 Um, prior to me getting on the show, I was like in the clown thing.
57:34 Speaker 01 Got it, got it.
57:35 Speaker 02 Um, and I had a crush on my teacher, my clown teacher, because he was like very in his body, and I was like, I feel like he'll be good in bed.
57:42 Speaker 01 100%.
57:43 Speaker 02 Where he can like clown.
57:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:44 Speaker 02 And then I had these other clown friends. Anyway, cut to, a couple days later, he like messaged me on Facebook, and I was like, that's weird. And he was like, I lost my phone, can I come over? I also left my jacket. And I was like, okay, I guess we wanna like, you know, again, or whatever. And then he came over in a wife beater. I don't think you're allowed to say that word anymore. He was in a tank top.
58:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:06 Speaker 02 And he had just been auditioning for Cirque du Soleil China, true story.
58:11 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
58:11 Speaker 02 And basically was like, I hooked up with someone else in the community.
58:15 Speaker 01 And you had already been hooking up with this guy?
58:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, and I was like, the clown community? Basically, my friend sucked this clown guy's dick, but now they're married and they live in Vegas, and I truly think they do Cirque du Soleil. But I obviously haven't let it down.
58:28 Speaker 01 But, and you're not friends anymore?
58:30 Speaker 02 No, not at all. And then I was like, I think I'm gonna go after SNL. And then, yeah, so-
58:35 Speaker 01 Everything happens for a reason.
58:36 Speaker 02 It's true.
58:37 Speaker 01 I need to see this clown community.
58:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like, I feel like I'll like send you comedians who are like clowny.
58:44 Speaker 01 What's the point, though? Like, you get up there and you're like, what do you do?
58:47 Speaker 02 It's like a different way of like, like, I think clown, I did go to clown school last year, side note.
58:52 Speaker 01 Okay, amazing.
58:53 Speaker 02 Casual.
58:55 Speaker 02 I'm weird, sorry.
58:56 Speaker 01 No, no.
58:57 Speaker 02 I went in January. It's like kind of fabulous. Julia Garner went to the same clown school.
59:01 Speaker 01 Did she? Julia Garner went to clown?
59:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, in France.
59:03 Speaker 01 Okay.
59:04 Speaker 02 It's like a thing.
59:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:05 Speaker 02 But you learn that like clown school teaches you, you like come out and I like try and make you laugh. And if you're not laughing, it's like you learn about the audience. Like a lot of comedians come out and they're like and they aren't aware of like what the audience is, how the audience is responding. And clown is like, oh, they're not laughing. Well, I bombed. Let me try something else.
59:26 Speaker 01 Got it, got it.
59:27 Speaker 02 That kind of style.
59:29 Speaker 01 So it's like yo-
59:30 Speaker 02 I'm surprised Hacks hasn't like explored clown.
59:32 Speaker 01 So it's like yoga for comedians?
59:33 Speaker 02 Kinda, yeah. It's like being a more present comedian.
59:36 Speaker 01 Got it, got it.
59:37 Speaker 02 And less self-involved and more like, I'm performing for you. Do you like it?
59:42 Speaker 01 Right. It's like practicing mindfulness in comedy.
59:44 Speaker 02 In comedy, yeah. Honestly, yeah.
59:46 Speaker 01 Okay, amazing.
59:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:47 Speaker 01 I made out with my Uber driver. Now he's offering me free rides, but keeps asking to hang out. I need the rides, but not the kisses. What do I do?
59:56 Speaker 02 Oh my god. Um, you need the rides, but not the kisses. How much kisses? Could you just do like a little kiss?
1:00:04 Speaker 01 Like, well, like it depends also how far the ride is.
1:00:06 Speaker 02 Right.
1:00:07 Speaker 01 It's like, you know, like-
1:00:08 Speaker 02 That's like, I mean, that's like a lot of money.
1:00:10 Speaker 01 Right, like-
1:00:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:12 Speaker 01 I mean, I, if, I mean, if you made out with him, like, do you think he's hot?
1:00:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, I feel like you're into it. Like, it's like, it's like if a Task Rabbit came over.
1:00:20 Speaker 01 Oh, I dream. I'm just like, I ain't, and then it's like-
1:00:24 Speaker 02 I had a Task Rabbit phase. Not that I ever hooked up with them, but I kept like hiring Task Rabbits with the hope.
1:00:28 Speaker 01 Really?
1:00:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:29 Speaker 01 Did you, ah, my, my dream used to be to hook up with my teacher. It never happened.
1:00:34 Speaker 02 Interesting.
1:00:35 Speaker 01 I never really had a teacher. There was one, and I was obsessed with him. Oh my god, still to this day if I saw him.
1:00:40 Speaker 02 Really?
1:00:41 Speaker 01 I dropped my pants like [BLEEP].
1:00:45 Speaker 02 I like that.
1:00:45 Speaker 01 Like, truly, truly.
1:00:47 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:00:48 Speaker 01 But yeah, I don't think you need to make out with him again for a free ride. Like, I would just call an Uber.
1:00:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, I agree.
1:00:53 Speaker 01 Because if it's like five minutes, what's the point?
1:00:55 Speaker 02 I agree.
1:00:56 Speaker 01 But if it's a long ride and you're like, damn, like...
1:00:58 Speaker 02 I guess it depends on how much you have to, if it's just like, mm.
1:01:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:02 Speaker 02 That's fine. That's like French.
1:01:04 Speaker 01 My coworker just told me he's having an affair with another coworker who is married. What do I even do with that info? Stay out of it.
1:01:11 Speaker 02 Stay out, stay out, stay out. Yeah. I, like, my instinct is always to get involved, but I, in, now that I've gotten a little older and not wiser, stay out.
1:01:18 Speaker 01 Right. My mom was always like, stay out of people's relationships. None of your business.
1:01:21 Speaker 02 That's what all my friends say.
1:01:22 Speaker 01 Tell them to watch The Other Woman, which I prescribed a million times on this show, but I prescribed The Other Woman. But like, stay out.
1:01:28 Speaker 02 Stay out.
1:01:28 Speaker 01 And then yell at your friend for putting you in that position.
1:01:30 Speaker 02 A hundred percent. You shouldn't even like know about it. That's their own chaos.
1:01:34 Speaker 01 Right.
1:01:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:35 Speaker 01 I thought I met the love of my life at college. We dated, broke up, and have gone no contact, but a year later, I still think about him every single day. How do I cope?
1:01:44 Speaker 01 Well, I prescribed the movie How to be Single, which I've never seen in full, but I know that that's what it's about.
1:01:48 Speaker 02 But you know, that's a prescription.
1:01:49 Speaker 01 Yeah. I know that that's what it's about.
1:01:51 Speaker 02 Wow. My, okay, interesting. I like these prescriptions. My roommate, when I moved to LA, would always prescribe Men Love Bitches. Do you know that book? Real Men Love Bitches.
1:02:03 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:02:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I think it's kind of the same idea of like, do you? Like, focus on you, build you.
1:02:09 Speaker 01 Right.
1:02:10 Speaker 02 Thrive.
1:02:11 Speaker 01 Girl boss.
1:02:12 Speaker 02 Girl boss, she boss, she thing.
1:02:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm, I mean, I was never over my first love.
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Really?
1:02:17 Speaker 02 I don't think I ever fully will be.
1:02:19 Speaker 01 When did you date your first love?
1:02:20 Speaker 02 Seventeen to like twenty-two.
1:02:23 Speaker 01 You met in college?
1:02:24 Speaker 02 Pre, actually sixteen to twenty-two.
1:02:26 Speaker 01 Oh, so you long-distanced in college?
1:02:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, he was from Philly, I was from here.
1:02:29 Speaker 01 And who broke up with who?
1:02:30 Speaker 02 Um, I probably broke up with him first, then he broke up with me, then I broke up with him, da-da-ding, da-da-ding, da-da-ding.
1:02:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:36 Speaker 01 Wow.
1:02:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's some loves you just never get over.
1:02:38 Speaker 02 No, I think your first love is like always a thing, and that's just something we all know.
1:02:42 Speaker 01 But you'll find someone else.
1:02:43 Speaker 02 I haven't, not my different.
1:02:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:45 Speaker 01 Exactly.
1:02:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I think like a lot of it is like, just like focus on yourself.
1:02:50 Speaker 01 Right.
1:02:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:51 Speaker 01 Focus on, yeah.
1:02:52 Speaker 02 And have good friends.
1:02:53 Speaker 01 And have great friends.
1:02:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:54 Speaker 01 And why, I just like tried to one-up you with the great comments.
1:02:59 Speaker 02 Great friends.
1:03:00 Speaker 01 Oh, so sorry.
1:03:01 Speaker 02 Have the best friends.
1:03:03 Speaker 01 Or watch also Someone Great.
1:03:05 Speaker 02 What's that?
1:03:05 Speaker 01 You've never seen Someone Great?
1:03:06 Speaker 02 No.
1:03:07 Speaker 01 I think Gina Rodriguez is in it. Oh. It's amazing. You have to watch Someone Great.
1:03:11 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:03:11 Speaker 01 But she breaks up with like the love of her life and like finds herself.
1:03:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. I got like a Pilates addiction.
1:03:16 Speaker 01 Oh, you did?
1:03:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:03:17 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:03:18 Speaker 02 When we broke up.
1:03:18 Speaker 01 Yeah. I met this guy at a party and he brought me back to his apartment. We hooked up and he paused to play his quote sexy playlist. A couple of minutes passed and he says, do you like this song? And I'm like, sure. Then he laughs and tells me it's his. Like ick immediately.
1:03:34 Speaker 02 Ew.
1:03:34 Speaker 01 He keeps hitting me up. Help.
1:03:37 Speaker 02 Oof, I hate that.
1:03:40 Speaker 01 Just like, don't see him again?
1:03:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, get out of it.
1:03:43 Speaker 01 That's, I don't have any other words for that.
1:03:44 Speaker 02 No. Also like sexy playlist, like come on.
1:03:47 Speaker 01 Right. I get the ick when people do that.
1:03:49 Speaker 02 I do too.
1:03:50 Speaker 01 It's like, I don't wanna know if I wanna do that right now.
1:03:51 Speaker 02 I know.
1:03:53 Speaker 01 Last one.
1:03:54 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:03:54 Speaker 01 I'm 28 and I'm in love with a married man. He talks to me every day and says if I want kids, he might be divorced by then. And if not, he'll ask his wife about it. What the hell should I do? Stay in this or get the fuck out?
1:04:04 Speaker 02 Get the fuck out.
1:04:05 Speaker 01 Get the fuck out, but I get it, girl. I got it. I'm, I get it, but like get out.
1:04:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, I, yeah, yeah. Do they have kids?
1:04:13 Speaker 01 No, I think he maybe might, but he was like, he says he'll ask his wife. I don't know if that, I would get out, but like.
1:04:20 Speaker 02 Get out. I guess like for me, I'm always like, cause I'll always have little like teen, like crushes from when I was a kid. Like actually I ran into my camp crush this weekend.
1:04:28 Speaker 01 Really?
1:04:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 Speaking of camp.
1:04:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. I had it like on my wall.
1:04:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04:34 Speaker 02 I don't know what I wanna say.
1:04:35 Speaker 01 You ran into your camp crush?
1:04:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I think like, I think like once there's kids, it's like, ugh, get out.
1:04:40 Speaker 01 Right, get out. And if he's married too, it's like.
1:04:42 Speaker 02 Unless you feel born to be a stepmom, which I do have that like in me, I know that.
1:04:46 Speaker 01 Right.
1:04:47 Speaker 02 But I'm just not ready for it.
1:04:48 Speaker 01 A hundred percent.
1:04:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:04:50 Speaker 01 Well, Chloe, what did we learn today?
1:04:53 Speaker 02 That I need to see this Gina Rodriguez movie?
1:04:57 Speaker 01 Yes, you need to see someone great.
1:04:58 Speaker 02 We learned that you have strip potential because you're in your body.
1:05:02 Speaker 01 Am I in my body? I feel like super out of my body.
1:05:04 Speaker 02 No, you're an amazing dancer.
1:05:06 Speaker 01 Thank you so much.
1:05:07 Speaker 02 And we learned that we both learned about each other's virginity, which is cool.
1:05:11 Speaker 01 I loved your virginity story.
1:05:13 Speaker 02 I loved your virginity story.
1:05:14 Speaker 01 Thank you. Yours was so much better, though.
1:05:15 Speaker 02 And you had, but you had an accent, which is like
1:05:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:18 Speaker 02 Props.
1:05:18 Speaker 01 Right, thanks. And I also learned that we're gonna get a drink this week in New York.
1:05:23 Speaker 02 Yes, we are.
1:05:24 Speaker 01 Yes. Well, Khloe, thank you so much for coming on Therapus.
1:05:28 Speaker 02 Of course.
1:05:29 Speaker 01 Do you want to give a little bye pussies?
1:05:30 Speaker 02 Bye pussies. Bye pussies. Bye.
1:05:45 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Previous Session 74: Ride x Therapuss Next Session 76: Lorde Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated