Session 107: Marcello Hernández

What if it all works out..? Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring this episode! Find exactly what you’re BOOKING for on Booking.com! Thank you to SeatGeek for Sponsoring this Episode! Use my code THERAPUSS for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:⁠ https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/JAKE⁠ (⁠https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/JAKE⁠) Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ ⁠passthatpuss.com⁠ Follow Marcello & Stream “American Boy” on Netflix Now! @marcellohdz Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 01

  Hey pussies, welcome back to Therapuss. I filmed an intro for this yesterday during the blizzard, but I was told I had a booger in my nose, so I had to re-film it. I don't know why I told you guys that, but there you go. We just had a huge blizzard in New York, so that's why I'm filming this on my phone, because we couldn't get the equipment in time. But I hope you guys enjoyed last week's episode on Netflix. I am currently on Broadway for All Out with Jenny Slate, Nicholas Braun, Ray Romano. If you've already come and seen it, thank you so much for coming. I hope you loved it. If you haven't, tickets are available in my bio. I am on the show until March 8th. We are closing it out. It is written by the incredible Simon Rich and directed by Alex Timbers,

• 1:27Speaker 01

  who I adore, just like it's been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I have a show tonight. I'm so excited. But for tonight's episode, we have the incredible Marcelo Hernandez, who I am very grateful and honored to call a close friend. I've known him for years. He is one of the best people I've ever met. He is hysterical. I've had the pleasure of seeing him live, which was just, he really could get up on that stage and deliver stand-up for 10 hours straight like a marathon without taking a beat. Like, he is someone that I truly believe is made for this. He is so talented. So if you haven't seen his stand-up special, American Boy, which is on Netflix, please go see it. It is incredible. He is incredible. Marcelo, I love you. As far as life updates with me... My psychiatrist is trying to get me to go on Wellbutrin.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Brett, who's on it, says it's amazing. And then I have other people telling me it might make my anxiety worse. So I'm kind of just like going back and forth on like whether I should do that or not. I guess, I think that's all the updates I have for you guys. Enjoy the episode. I'm sorry for the short, low-quality intro. It is because of the blizzard, which was amazing. But also now there is slush everywhere and it is impossible to get anywhere. But enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  You know, you're my first recording of this new set, new season, new everything.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  I was gonna say it looks a little bit different, but I like it. I like how it looks. I can see the shadow.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Have you seen the show before?

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  What's your favorite episode?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  I don't know. I like to see you excited. You get very excited for almost everyone.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  But I don't know. I think the Renee rap one was really fun.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Oh, you do actually watch?

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, I'm so excited you're here. Well, everybody, welcome Marcelo Hernandez. His new Netflix special, American Boy, is out now. It's amazing.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  How was it? I was filming it. How was everything? I'm sorry, I'm so rusty. I haven't done this in like four months.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  It's okay. You've been traveling, taking little thirst traps.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  I see you.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  I see him.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Yes. Did you like my thirst trap?

• 3:33Speaker 02

  I think you're doing great, man.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  You're looking for love, I imagine.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Yes. I have a date tonight.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Well, he actually texted me at 6:00 a.m. trying to cancel. So I said, he said, I woke up, I feel sick. I was like, all right, so all good. We can rain check. He's like, no, no, no, let's keep it. So I said, okay, are we still on for the same plan? I said that at 10:00 a.m. What time is it now? It's 3:30. He hasn't responded.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Do you get, do you not get germophobia when they tell you they're feeling sick?

• 4:00Speaker 01

  No, I'm pretty desperate.

• 4:02Speaker 02

  You're down.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  I'm like, whatever.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Wow. And I think a 6 a.m. cancel is pretty respectable.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  So respectable, but he said, he said, "I woke up, I don't feel good, but I can't tell if I'm just tired." So I said, "Okay, well, we can rain check if you want." He said, "No, no, no, I just worked out, I feel fine, so let's keep it." So I'm like, "Okay, great," sushi fumi at 8:30.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  And he never responded.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  He woke up and the first thing that came to his mind...

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Was me.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Right.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Speaking of relationships, you're not married.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Not, well, no, I was not married, it was a promo, but um...

• 4:32Speaker 01

  That was promo?

• 4:33Speaker 02

  That was promo.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  For your Netflix special?

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  You can tell, by now, they will have seen the second part.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Well, I thought you were married.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  I know, I know.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I thought that's what you did over break, because you told me you were going to your, weren't you at your girlfriend's house?

• 4:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I went to see her in Dominican Republic, yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, how was that?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  It was awesome.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I love her.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  I love the Dominican Republic, she's so cute, have you met her before?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Really?

• 4:54Speaker 02

  You have?

• 4:55Speaker 01

  We spent literally an entire night together.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Is that true? Oh, yes, of course, of course, of course, I remember, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  We were in your Sprinter van.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yes, of course.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  We were smoking cigarettes.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  We had a blast, yes, I remember.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Like, we spent like, at least four hours together.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  We spent a long time together, I don't, I, yeah, okay.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  How'd you guys meet?

• 5:12Speaker 02

  We met at a charity event in New York, and a friend of hers wanted me to make a video for her dad, because her dad is a fan, and then she was like the friend, the uncomfortable friend that comes with the friend to do the asking for a video thing. And then I just saw her and I got her Instagram, and a year later, we finally went out.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Love comes around.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  It does.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  It really comes around.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  If it's for you, it's for you.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  I know.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  That's just what I...

• 5:40Speaker 01

  I have three dates, well...

• 5:42Speaker 02

  You have three dates?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Three dates lined up this week.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  If it's for you, you will have, what do they say, you turned over every rock?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, every rock is turned. Every rock is turned. Well, I have a date tonight, I have a date Friday, and I have a date Saturday.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  You can't talk like that.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  What?

• 5:57Speaker 02

  You just can't say that.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  What do you want me to say?

• 6:00Speaker 02

  You have to, you have to at least pretend to be selective and, you know what I mean? At least put the, like, at least be like, "Oh yeah, I never," say stuff like, "I never go on dates," so they feel special, because if, for example, if I'm a guy that asks you on a date, right?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  And I'm watching your podcast, and I see you go, "I have a date tomorrow, I have a date on Friday, I have a date," I go, "I'm canceling," actually, I might wake up sick.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Okay, so pretend to be selective.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Yes, at least hide it. You know what I mean? You want them to feel special. And when you tell them that you have a date every other day, they go, okay, well. There's confidence. They should be like, if I'm, if I'm the best one, I should be the best one, but like.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Why are you going on? I don't, listen, I'm, I'm trying to date you. I don't want you to go on three dates in one week.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Right, of course.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 6:46Speaker 01

  So how did your relationship happen with your current girlfriend? You went on one date and then you were like, okay, it's it?

• 6:50Speaker 02

  No, we went on like 20 million dates.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Okay, so I have a question. How do you like? Like, how do you like, like, listen?

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  So like, do you know what I mean?

• 7:00Speaker 02

  Oh, of course I know what you mean.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Like, do you know what I mean?

• 7:02Speaker 02

  I have a whole thing about it in the show.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  No, of course, of course. It's your, your mom didn't believe you had ADHD.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  It's fear. You, you listen out of fear.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  But I'm not fearful.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  I, but you have to be. Because I think you have to be scared to make them feel bad, you know, and to make them feel like you don't care.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  When's your birthday?

• 7:22Speaker 02

  August.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Leo?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. What are you?

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Guess.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Um, uh,

• 7:30Speaker 02

  asparagus.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Why?

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I don't know, dude. An octopus. A year of February. October.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  October, yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  But what, how old do you think I am?

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Cancer.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Well, how old do you think I am?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Um, how old now?

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Yes, wasn't that the original?

• 7:49Speaker 02

  No, I thought you were asking me what sign you were.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Oh, well, you guessed it.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  October, Cancer.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Well, that would be June.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Virgo.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Scorpio.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Scorpio.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Scorpio. That means that you have a thing. That means that you, you go, you think everything's good and then they fuck.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Are you into astrology or is your girlfriend?

• 8:07Speaker 02

  No, I just know what a scorpion is.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. My rising is Gemini and my moon is Gemini.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  So that means I don't come off as a Scorpio at all.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Okay, except when you tell people that you have four dates.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Well, but I like.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  That's very Scorpio.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  But I, I, I. My, I think, okay. I think my main issue with dating is that like my love language is talking shit and gossiping. I can't gossip with someone I barely know.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Hmm, I hear you.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean? I can't sit there and talk shit about someone I don't know you.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  You know?

• 8:39Speaker 02

  That's tough for you.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  It's tough. Remember the first time we met?

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Hmm, no.

• 8:43Speaker 01

  I do.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Where?

• 8:45Speaker 01

  It was at the SNL After After.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  I remember now.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Of course, I told you I was a big fan of yours and I wanted to see you.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  And then I went to your show.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Did you like it?

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Of course, I texted you.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but what like, what'd you really think?

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Jake, you're, you're doing, you're doing something that no one has done, you know what I mean? Like, this is a new thing, is like, the podcaster that has to go and try to do live shows and you have to figure it out as you go. So I recognize that, so I'm not like, what? I've been doing standup for 10 years.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  So like, standup, you can't watch me and be like, oh no, and there's been a million standups before me.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Like, there's not a million Jake Shanes that you were able to look at for inspiration.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  You had to figure it out and you've done a great job and your audience likes it, they're having a blast.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Did they seem like they were having fun?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, 100%, and you're reading this stuff, it was really fun.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  What was your favorite part?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Um, I liked the, I liked the texts.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  I liked the texts.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Good crowd pleaser.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  You are also like the type of person to go through a text with someone, one by one text by, like you just did with me.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  Like, that's who you are.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  You go, and then four hours later, I haven't heard back. And then, you know, then you talk about what that means and all that stuff.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Oh, speaking of hearing back.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Who is it?

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Um, it's my manager, you know how it is.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  I know. Oh, yes. Well, you said that, you told me that you had never worked on something as hard as you have, your Netflix special.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  What do you, like, can you expand on that? What do you mean by that?

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Um, well...

• 10:15Speaker 01

  God, I'm doing such a bad job at asking questions.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  I brought you some gifts.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Well, I want to hear about the Netflix special first, but then I do want to see the gifts.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Can I bring you the gifts? Because I think that you're having trouble listening, you're having a little bit of a time. And I want to give you a gift, I want to, I want to bring the vibe really high.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Okay, yes, I love presents. Presents, presents, presents.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Okay, presents, I'll be right back, I got you.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  I'm glad, so many bags!

• 10:34Speaker 02

  Okay, so I got you a bunch of stuff.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Do you, did you do this on every podcast you went on?

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Um, I, I do like, I don't like to show up empty handed. I always say that.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  That's very generous.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  So, first things first, um, this is a sleep mask.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Oh my god, wait, I actually love this.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  I love to sleep with a sleep mask. When we go on the road, some of these hotels, they're not like perfectly blackout. And I think this is gonna help you with that. Um, I brought you some cozy socks.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 11:00Speaker 02

  I think you're gonna like these.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Oh my goodness.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  You can put them on when you're getting your comb on. Um, you seem to be the type of person that I think is, gets very high stressed out.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yes, of course.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  Stressed out guy.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  And so this is something you can grab on to and squish it. It's a squishy burger. I think that'll help you. And then I got an egg as well, just in case you get sick of one, you know what I mean?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I love, okay, goodness.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Okay, that one's weird. And then you get sick of it and then you can do this. Is it, is it slimy?

• 11:27Speaker 01

  It's a little slimy.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, I, I got you a candle. This is like, everybody does the same thing with a candle.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Where did you go, Marshalls?

• 11:35Speaker 02

  And then I got you a book. This is a book called The Honeycrisp Orchard and I don't know, I kinda just grabbed one. Um, but it's, um...

• 11:46Speaker 01

  So what's, what's it about?

• 11:47Speaker 02

  City life was treating her just fine until a sour turn of events knocks her out in one fail swoop.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Wait, a car hit her?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  I don't know what happened. Um, but you can look at it one day.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  And then, um, I got you a...

• 12:03Speaker 02

  A weighted blanket. This is all from Marshalls. None of this is expensive. Sorry.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  Wait, no, that, okay.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  And then this is my favorite one.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  I saved it for last.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  I know, I saw you want to go grab it and then you didn't.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  I didn't, I didn't. I saved it for last because this, I think is, um, this is something I've been wanting to tell you.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  You know, and, um, it's something that I think you need to think about more often. You, I think, I think, and tell me if I'm wrong, do you feel like Jake can be sometimes a person that is always thinking like, what can go wrong?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  We've been talking about this.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  You've been talking about this? So, um, I got you this.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  I already know what it says.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I got you this and it is, uh, uh, it says this. What if it all works out, Jake?

• 12:44Speaker 01

  So did you?

• 12:45Speaker 02

  Jake, what if it all works out?

• 12:47Speaker 01

  What if it doesn't?

• 12:47Speaker 02

  You need to put this in your room. You need to put this in your room and you need to see it every day.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Okay, honestly, you know what? I will.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Okay, great.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Mission accomplished.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  I got you a bunch of kids.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Of course. Thank you.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Listen.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I've never had somebody bring me so many gifts.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  That's.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  You must be so good at Christmas time.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Um, I do like to be Christmas guy.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  You are?

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I am, I am.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  What was your favorite Christmas you've ever had, ever?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't know. I definitely like Christmas better now because I have money and I can give stuff to people.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  For a long time, I was just the receiving guy. And I like better to be the one that is making stuff happen.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Really?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  My mom loves the real, real.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  I love the real, real.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  She loves the real, real and she saves stuff on the real, real. And then on Christmas, I ask my sister to get in there and tell me what my mom saved. And then I buy it and then my mom will like call my sister and be like, some bitch bought the boots.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Hey, yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  And, uh, and then I give her the boots on Christmas and she goes, you're the bitch. And, um, that's been a fun, that's fun.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  Your mom seems awesome. Did she love your stand-up special?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  She's the best. I think she loves it. I think she's watched me talk about her so much, but I think she loves it. I think she's proud of me and I'm proud of her.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Oh, what was the first time she ever saw you do stand-up about her?

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know. I've always had her somehow in the set. So probably from the beginning, since I was 18. Um, and, uh, I try to make her look good as well, but I also want to like get this stuff off my chest, you know?

• 14:11Speaker 01

  No, I mean, you, you, and you did.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  You did.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  What was your favorite bit that you do in your Netflix special?

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Hmm, I like the ending.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Ending's great.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  I think stick around for the ending.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  The ending's amazing.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  The ending, uh, when I came up with that, I was like, um, I was really proud of, uh, myself for the.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  How do you come up with all of it and connect it all as one cohesive story?

• 14:34Speaker 02

  It takes a lot of just like looking at it. I have, um, transcriptions. So I get it all transcribed and then I read it, you know, I try to like look at how we can connect something to something else. My assistant, Marty, who was a co-producer on the special, she has been so helpful with me and like walking through stuff and like if I can't figure out how to connect something together, we sit down and we talk about it. I think you have to find, you have to not be afraid to invite people in a little bit. Ultimately, everything is your choice, but like invite people in, you're great at that. When I went to your show, he had a full, it, it looked like a bachelorette party. He has all these girls in the back and they're all talking about what he's gonna do and what you're gonna do and what you're gonna say. And I think it's really, it's good.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, you said, you said it was like a family reunion.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  It's, yes, you have literally a family reunion at your shows. Is that every show?

• 15:23Speaker 01

  No, Radio City was a lot.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  That's a lot.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Did you come out after with me?

• 15:27Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  No, you didn't. Oh, I blacked out.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I could feel you. I could feel that this was like a thing for you.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I was ready to get messy.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  It was, yeah, you were ready to get messy.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  And then we went to Atlantic City the next night.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  I know. Well, I had four shows in a row. I did DC, New York, Atlantic City, went out after Atlantic City, and then had to fly in a seaplane to Boston.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  You're living it up, man.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  No, a seaplane?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  What? What's wrong with that?

• 15:54Speaker 01

  I was supposed to-

• 15:55Speaker 02

  It's exclusive. It's only a few people, yes?

• 15:57Speaker 01

  It was, it flies so low to the ground that you don't need to put on airplane mode. Like, that's-

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Okay, that's funny.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Like, I had, we were supposed to drive there, but we missed our car.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Right. And that's crazy to miss a car, because a car isn't like a plane where it's like, last call, it's a car.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Well, no, no, no. What happened was, I was supposed to wake up at seven and I woke up at 11.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  That's why, to miss a car, you really gotta miss that guy.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I missed it. And then the only way to get to Boston in time for the meet and greet and the show was by seaplane. Well, actually, Zach, my manager said, "I got you a plane."

• 16:32Speaker 02

  That's sweet.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  And I said, "Okay, cool."

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Let me ask you this, because obviously, we're all very proud of you. You've been killing it.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  No, I'm proud of you.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  You have a new set. You're moving on up.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  It's great. Where were you before? Like, before we all got to know you, like, right before you were starting to make these videos of like, do, you know?

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the POVs.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, the POVs. What, um, sorry, I was about to try to say one.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Where were you? What were you doing? What was the transition for you between, and I'm sure this is like a-

• 17:04Speaker 01

  No, so I actually never get tired of telling the story, so thank you so much for asking. I worked at a record label, and my boss at the time became my manager.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Got it. What were you doing at the record label?

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I did international marketing.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  So like if a song was popping off in Germany, like I would like, like, look at the data and like, have them put spend behind marketing in Germany for the song. And then I became an assistant to this guy Zach, who's now my manager.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  I was really bad.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  At the job?

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Horrible.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  I was personality hire, he says.

• 17:37Speaker 02

  That's, makes sense.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  I think you still are.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so too.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  This is the ultimate personality.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  I think so too.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I'm a personality hire for sure.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  You feel that way?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  You had a lot of jobs before you started working at SNL.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  A bunch.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  What were, you said you would sell?

• 17:51Speaker 02

  I sold tickets on the street.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Um, I used to sell electricity. I used to go door to door in Brooklyn and stuff and ask people to give me their electric bill.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Would they be like, go get fucked?

• 18:01Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Every time, a hundred percent of the time. Um, but there was one girl that was like really good at it. And I think she thought I was like cute and uh, she took me to Gucci and she bought herself a belt. And she asked me if I wanted anything. And I was like,

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I swear. And I was like, no, I'm okay.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  You sat down?

• 18:17Speaker 02

  No, of course not. It felt so weird. Um, I also wasn't like into her or anything.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. It felt transactional.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it felt transactional. And um, but it was like, it was very weird. And then um, I was also an intern at a comedy club. I used to like run food and clean the floor or whatever after the show. Um, and I also sold medications. I used to have a headset on during the pand-

• 18:40Speaker 01

  What did you sell?

• 18:41Speaker 02

  During the pandemic, I used to sell like gabapentin and stuff, but-

• 18:43Speaker 01

  I love gabapentin. I love gabapentin. You sold that?

• 18:47Speaker 02

  I didn't sell the medication, but I would get it delivered to your house.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  I'd get it delivered to your house at no additional cost to your insurance.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  So what's the upside?

• 18:56Speaker 02

  The upside is that you don't have to go to CVS and it's the pandemic and you're over sixty-five. And I think that this is a time right now when people, with everything that's going on, that's what they said, we couldn't mention COVID. You had to say with everything that's going on.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Why couldn't you mention COVID?

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Cause it's illegal, kind of. It sounds threatening. It's like, you're gonna die. So,

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Right, okay.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  I would be like, with everything that's going on, I think that it would be beneficial maybe for you to have these things delivered to your house. And we can do it in a temperature controlled case, directly to your house, at no additional cost to your insurance. And you can give us some instructions if, let's say that the mailbox is a few minutes away from your house. We can make sure that this is put there at a secure place, so that you know and we know, but nobody else does. Or if there's a dog or something like that, you're gonna wanna tell us that, so that we can make sure that you get your medications and that you don't miss out on something as important as your-

• 19:34Speaker 01

  Medication, gabapentin.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Gabapentin, yeah.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Wow, and was that your favorite job?

• 19:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  And so when did you start, like, okay, so?

• 19:42Speaker 02

  That's when I started making videos, when I was doing that.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Okay, cuz you, I recently just saw these videos, and they were like Miami weekend recaps that you would do. And it was like, you would do these like quick five second soundbites of what happened in Miami that weekend. Is that what led you to SNL?

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Kind of, that was like the first step, that's what got me to move out of my house. It's cuz I was making these out of my mom's, my dad's house, cuz I moved from my mom's to my dad's during the pandemic. Cuz I was scared that my mom and my sister were gonna die, and I started to get really scary. I was like spraying them down, and I was making them get naked when they get back from the supermarket, throwing the clothes in the wash.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Well, you guys were in Miami too, so like?

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Nobody cared.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  Nobody cared.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  And I was coming from New York where there were like people.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  I mean, I was, didn't.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Dying in the streets, so I was freaking out. Um, and, uh, I was at my dad's house, and so I would wake up before the job, I would write, and then after the job, I would go to my friend's house. I would hang out with him, I would tell him the stuff I had written, and then at the end of the week, I would film whatever our favorite idea was. And then like after my fourth or fifth one, this account reached out and asked me to make little videos for them.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  And they paid you?

• 20:38Speaker 02

  They paid me, and then after like a few months of doing that, I was like, you need to give me, you know, 500 bucks a week so that I can quit my headset job and do this full time. And then he was like, you need to get more responsibility, so then I became like the creative director of the account. And then I did that until SNL, pretty much.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  How did SNL come about?

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Um, so when I was doing that stuff in Miami, this guy from, this guy Tim Dillon, you know Tim Dillon?

• 21:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  So he had me, um, well, I asked him if I could open for him in Miami cuz I was like thinking I was starting to make waves in Miami. And he said he didn't care if I did or I didn't. So I grabbed my phone, that's it.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 21:13Speaker 02

  I said, can I open for you? And he said, I don't care. He actually said, I don't give a fuck.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Wait, so, but was he serious?

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess. I think he was just like, you know, he's, it's also comedian to comedian, he's being funny. And so I grabbed the phone, I took it to the club, and I was like, he doesn't give a fuck, can I please do it? And then they were like, sure.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, it was like that?

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then they said yes, and then after the show, um, he invited me to go on the road with him. So I went on the road with him, and he introduced me to CAA, and like after I was on the road with him, I started getting on the road with other comedians as well. Gilbert Gottfried, Mark Viera. On the road with them and then um C A A had signed me and then I was he told me that if I Tim Dillon told me if I didn't move back to New York. Uh he would fire me basically because he wanted someone that was working every night in the clubs in New York. So I got like a friend of mine that was moving out there to let me live with him for like a little bit of money because he was doing. He has too much money and I didn't have any money, so he let me like pay him.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  What neighborhood were you?

• 22:06Speaker 02

  We were in Union Square.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  Okay, I grew up in New York.

• 22:09Speaker 02

  Nice. Well, before the pandemic, I had moved to New York. I was in Bushwick first, then I was in the Lower East Side in this guy's apartment, this bald guy. And he used to drink half a beer and put it back in the fridge.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Very interesting. And then um the the pandemic, I had to move back into my parents' house in Miami and then. I moved back to New York with my buddy and then I was doing stand up every night. I was hosting and all this stuff. And Just for Laughs is this big festival in Canada where a lot of people get discovered and um I got the audition for that. And so I auditioned for J F L and then I went to Canada. I got it. And then in Canada, after I did the six minutes, my agent Erica Lancaster, who is from C A A, who used to work at S and L. Was like, I'm gonna introduce you to them. And she introduced me to the people from S and L and then they invited me to do the audition process.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  Wow. And so what's the worst you've ever bombed?

• 22:55Speaker 02

  There's a few. There's probably a bunch of them. I'm good at blocking it out immediately. It's like a sports thing. Like when you have the worst game of your life, you have to forget it immediately. And so I forget it immediately.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Like you played soccer when you were a kid, right?

• 23:07Speaker 02

  And in college.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Where'd you go to college again?

• 23:14Speaker 02

  I love this because there's nothing there.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  I know. I know. I know. I do.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  I do love it. Um.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  My friends, oh, my my friends were, do you still, does your mom still live in Miami?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  My friends were just there for New Year's.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, it's fun.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Thank you, SeatGeek, again for sponsoring today's episode. Okay, so at this point, I am a week into Broadway. So if you want to come see me in All Out, a comedy about ambition at the Nederlander Theater. You can use my code therapist for 10% off your order at SeatGeek.com. You can literally see anything on SeatGeek, any live events, sporting, comedy, live music, and Broadway.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  I am also just like so excited about all the shows that I'm planning on seeing. Robin just announced a tour and I'm like so excited to scream dancing on my own live. I've never done it before. I mean, I've obviously done it out on a night, but I've never done it sung by Robin. So I am very excited. I'm going to use SeatGeek to get tickets to that. And then Lady Gaga is still on tour. BTS is on tour. Alex Warren is also going on tour. Like, there are just so many amazing people to see right now and SeatGeek is the place to get the tickets to see everyone. It is also basketball season. If you want to see a basketball game. Also, as always, a comedy show. Once again, you can use code THERAPIST for 10% off.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  And if you click the link in the description to download the app, it will automatically add the code THERAPIST to your account for 10% off. I must reiterate, winter is ending. We have to leave the house. We have to leave the house. We need to go outside and we need to go to live events. Thank you again, SeatGeek, for sponsoring today's episode.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  What are you therapist about today?

• 24:56Speaker 02

  What am I therapist about? Nobody told me that I should have something to be therapist about. I'm looking at-

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Do you want me to go first?

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Oh, please.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  Okay, so I'm therapist about a few things.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Okay, my one thing is that the guy hasn't texted me back that I'm supposed to go on a date with later. I'm therapist about that. I'm therapist about the fact that I had a dream last night where my teeth were getting pulled. And when they were getting pulled, there was a string attached to the tooth that was like they had to cut off. And so I woke up like this. At three, I woke up at one and then I woke up at three and then I woke up at six. From each from a nightmare, different nightmare. And the one with the teeth pulling was just the worst. And so that set my day off horribly.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  And then I, I, I have to pee a lot.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Like in 10 minutes, I'm gonna have to go pee.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  So should we work on your diet?

• 25:49Speaker 01

  I have been.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  What are you eating?

• 25:51Speaker 01

  I had lamb chops last night.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  That's not good.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:55Speaker 02

  It's not, that's heavy.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  What do you eat?

• 25:57Speaker 02

  I mean, I don't know. I try to eat like sushi as much as I can.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Well, that's where my date is supposed to be tonight. So, thanks for bringing that one up.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Bring it right back to that. No, I don't know. I eat chicken and rice all the time.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Oh, every guy I've ever met, all they eat, chicken and rice.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Chicken and rice.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  I just order chicken and rice.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  From where?

• 26:15Speaker 02

  From anywhere. Japanese places have a lot of chicken and rice. I have a Latin place next to my place in New York that they bring it to me and it's great.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  But yeah, chicken and rice feels safe. And rice is what they tell you to eat when your body is like not dealing well with other foods. Or when like-

• 26:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, the BRAT diet.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  The BRAT diet. So I try to, I try to do that. I try to do a lot of rice. I'm trying to leave rice. I'm trying to do chicken and like greens. But I just can't. It's just so boring.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  It's so boring.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  I get so bored.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  My favorite thing about rice is when you, it's like, it, it, I describe it as like an empty canvas and you can paint it with sauce. And it soaks up all the sauce.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Do you like, um, what do you, what's the wet rice?

• 26:52Speaker 01

  What?

• 26:53Speaker 02

  The wet rice.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Um, the wet, it's a dish. Everybody eats it. The wet rice. It's like a saucy rice.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Risotto?

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Oh my god. That's what you were referring to?

• 27:06Speaker 02

  That's what I was referring to.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  It's pasta. That's pasta.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  Oh, that's pasta, but it's rice.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  It's in the class of pasta.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Cause they put, cause it's full of sauce?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Well then, you just said it's in the class.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Cause it's like-

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Who else is in the class?

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Like if I'm like going at an Italian restaurant, it's like pa- a pasta. And then under pasta is risotto.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Okay. What's something like you wonder about straight men?

• 27:28Speaker 01

  I wonder what it feels like to have sex with a vagina.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  I heard somebody said once that it feels like you're sticking your dick in a warm hot tub.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  Do you have any other?

• 27:41Speaker 01

  I just heard whoever out there agree with me, by the way. I just heard whoever out there said. I heard him say, "Damn."

• 27:50Speaker 02

  Alright, so that answers your question. What else?

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Is that what it feels like?

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Damn. What else you got?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  I don't know. Like, what, straight guys, what else do I have to ask you about?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  I don't know, yeah.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Do you feel blessed that your metabolism is fast?

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Oh my god. You think gay guys have a slower metabolism?

• 28:05Speaker 01

  Well, I'm, I think I'm the only one. So, I'm, yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  I don't know. I think our metabolism is the same. I think we need to get you off lamb chops. I think we need to get you on like a lighter, you need to eat lighter foods. Feel light. Feel fast.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Okay, so like what?

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Like, you can, like, before soccer games, you do carbs, you have a little bit of pasta, and have a little protein, and then you're good to go. I want you to stay light.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Do I look like I lost weight to you?

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Shut up.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Swear?

• 28:35Speaker 02

  And I, and I know you, so I know that you've been working on it, and I, when I met you, it was before you started working on it, so there's results.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  You're getting results.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  I'm so excited for your premiere tomorrow night.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  I know, you're coming.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  I'm gonna get tipsy.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Are we gonna get drunk?

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have a little after-party too.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Oh, well, that's why, I heard.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Come on, let's have some fun.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  I'm only in L.A. for a little bit, so we gotta do it.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  I know, you tried to get me to come out the other night.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  I know, and you, and getting Jake to go out is so funny, because he, he has never said no to me once. He never says no. He'll never say no. Instead, he'll go, "Okay, yeah, okay, yeah." And then, and I don't hear from him until the next day at 5:00 P.M.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  I, that actually is exactly what happened.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  That's what you do.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Well, that is what I do. I do, I don't say no. I say, like, if somebody were to ask me, like, like, if she'll ask me a question, Louise will ask me, I'll say, "Oh, just give me the night, I'll think about it."

• 29:24Speaker 02

  Right, you never say no.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  Never.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Maybe we gotta work on that. Maybe you should say no more. No is liberating.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  I don't like saying no.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  No, I can't.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  No, I'm sorry, I can't.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Oh, but I was in bed.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  And then, a guy like you will go, "No, I'm sorry, I can't, I love you."

• 29:37Speaker 01

  But I told you, I was like, "I'm in bed," and you were like, "Get out of bed."

• 29:39Speaker 02

  How many, yeah, of course. What, it was 6:00 P.M. It's like, what? How many people, did you say "I love you" to everybody?

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Every single person. And they all, and people, if they don't feel comfortable, say, "Yeah, you didn't say it back to me." You said, "Alright, buddy, love."

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it, it just, it, it felt, it feels fast.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  But I do love you.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  I know, but I, I, you know, I think, uh, you gotta put some, you gotta start to put some weight on that.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  I say I love you to everyone. I say I love you to my barista every morning, Taylor. Hi, Taylor.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Hi, Taylor, love you.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, she writes on my coffee every morning.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Does she, does she say love you too?

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Okay, that's sweet.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  And if they, if they don't feel comfortable saying it back, they go, love.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  How long, that's what I did. How long have you known her, your barista?

• 30:18Speaker 01

  A year.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Okay. That's a long time.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's everything. We have each other's numbers, we text.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Okay, so that's someone you love?

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have your number.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  Who's someone that, yeah, yeah. Who's someone, who's someone, um, when do you, when is it too soon to say I love you?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  I say it as like word, I just say it. Like, that's my version. Goodbye, love you.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  And so, let's say that I'm one of the three men you're going on a date with this week, and I'm watching this.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I've, I've done that before by accident. And I'm like, I did not mean that.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  I did not mean that.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  So it does mean something.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  I guess.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  When? Do you have a different thing that you say to people that you like, really like?

• 30:54Speaker 01

  I think, oh my God, I hope I get a boyfriend this year now that I'm thinking about it.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  I really, I really hope I do.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Why do you want a boyfriend so bad? What are you, what are you guys, like, what is the, the thing that you wanna do with a boyfriend that you can't do now?

• 31:07Speaker 01

  I wanna binge watch television with someone and then like, be able to have sex in the middle between episodes.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Wow. That's beautiful. By the way, that's beautiful. That might be one of the most relatable things you've ever said.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  That's like what I want to do. That's why I want a boyfriend. I'm like sitting there, and like sometimes I'm watching TV and I'm like, oh my God, wouldn't it be so nice if I was laying on someone's chest right now?

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  Or I was making out with someone?

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen Homeland?

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Um, not yet, no, I haven't seen it.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  Oh my God, strap in.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Why?

• 31:35Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 31:36Speaker 01

  I'm on season six.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Have you seen Pluribus?

• 31:38Speaker 01

  It was, it was a lot of world building, and I'm just, I, I knew I was too stupid.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  I was like, you know what? I'm too stupid.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 31:45Speaker 01

  It was like giving the same amount of, do you watch Pluribus?

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  You finish? What'd you think? I had Brett spoil the ending for me.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  Um.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Sorry.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Um, no. That's not the ending, but um, I loved it. I think it's just uh, it's just crazy and it's like in the bright, in the Breaking Bad vibe.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  Well, I love Breaking Bad.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Also, when, when we were watching it, all I could think of is the, like, the weird shots that they do, like to transition between scenes. It's like, that guy is really amazing. The guy that made that show.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  I love when people think about stuff like that.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  Cause it's really sick. Like if you, uh, I, I'm the guy now that I'm like rewinding to see the creative little touch that they did. Like, there's one thing where like someone gets hurt and there's like blood and then you like in your head, all, the first thing you think of when someone gets hurt is blood. And then the next scene is someone making like a pink lemonade and the powder that they put in is red. And then when it's mixed with water, it make the water look like it was blood. And then you find out when it pulls out that she was just making like a lemonade.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 32:58Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Did you hear what I said?

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, I heard what you said.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Where were you when I was talking?

• 33:04Speaker 01

  I was thinking about how, how funny, how funny it was when I asked you what it was like to have sex with the vagina. And your friend out there said, damn.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  That's what I was thinking about.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Fair enough. I said something that made sense.

• 33:16Speaker 01

  You said that she got hurt, there was blood, and then the following scene, there was red blood lemonade.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Exactly. Isn't that interesting to you?

• 33:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Okay, fine.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  What else are you watching?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Oh. Uh.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Is this your least favorite podcast you've done this week?

• 33:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  Okay, awesome.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  But I also know you and like you. It's hard for you to piss me off.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  And love me.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  I can't get there pissed about this.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  You know what I'm therapist about?

• 33:40Speaker 01

  What?

• 33:40Speaker 02

  I'm therapist about when you have a great night.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  You have a fun night. You have a few drinks. You have the time of your life. You truly enjoy it. And why is it that the next day has to be so bad?

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you think that?

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  You don't.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  You don't get hungover?

• 33:56Speaker 01

  I do, but.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  You don't get anxiety?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Oh, well, I do.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  You know?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  But you, you, you, you, you need to know how to do it right.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Is that just the price that I pay?

• 34:04Speaker 01

  You don't, you don't have like a routine, you don't lay in bed, watch television, smoke, well, you don't smoke anymore. Smoke a joint, order food, maybe get an IV.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  You just, I have to work.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Well, I don't drink on the weekdays.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Never.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  I try not to.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  What if you had a big, this is a special occasion, I mean.

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, then that sucks.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Right?

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  It's just the price you pay, I guess, for having fun, is you have to have a horrible day.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Are you hungover right now? Is that why you bring that up?

• 34:27Speaker 02

  No, no, but it happened, um, after the Critics' Choice Awards, I went out with my friends.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  I know, I got the call.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  Oh my god, did I miss such a fun night?

• 34:34Speaker 02

  It was so fun.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Fuck, what did you guys do?

• 34:37Speaker 02

  We went to Chateau and we just talked and had a blast.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  You told me you were going to the one!

• 34:42Speaker 02

  And Alexander Skarsgård was there.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Shut up!

• 34:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Yes, and you could have met him.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  And he was drinking with you guys?

• 34:51Speaker 02

  He was having fun, he was right by us, yeah. I got to talk, I got to talk to him, got to talk to his dad.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Have you been watching all the Oscar noms?

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Um, no, I, I haven't.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  You haven't seen any?

• 35:00Speaker 02

  No, but I, I, it's exciting to me to see people, you know, be rewarded for the stuff that they do.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Have you seen one battle after another?

• 35:05Speaker 02

  No, I'm dying to see it. I got to share like a little moment with Leo at the Critics' Choice Awards.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  What was the little moment?

• 35:10Speaker 02

  He was like, he was like looking at some papers, because I think he was gonna present or something. Um, and, uh, I just got to be like, hey, man, and we met, we had met one time before, and, um, he's just, he's cool.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  He seems it.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  He's very like a cool guy, and I've, all I've heard about him is that he's just a tremendously hard worker, and he loves his mom, and he, you know, hangs out with his mom, and I got a lot of respect for that guy.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Did you bring your mom to the Critics' Choice Awards?

• 35:33Speaker 02

  Eh, no, she couldn't come, she's working. My mom is like a workhorse.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  What does she do?

• 35:37Speaker 02

  What is your mom like?

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Um, me, she's like me.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  She's you.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, think, I always say, think about who could have made me.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. What does your mom do?

• 35:46Speaker 02

  My mom, uh, she works for a Belgian company, it's like, um, she does sales at a Belgian company, and ever since I was a kid, she'd be like up at 4am, because this is the time difference.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  And then I would wake up at like 7:30, 7:45, and I'd be angry, and she'd be like, you got no idea what it is, you know what I mean?

• 36:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Um, but she's just, uh, you have never met her?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  No, I've

• 36:06Speaker 02

  She'd love you, dude.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  I, you know what? I think we would get along really well.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  I know.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Because she likes to go to the mall for 10 hours.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  She likes to go to the mall for 10 hours? She likes to, and not anymore. She used to, not anymore. Now she's like, online. She's, she loves to be online. And, uh, but she'd invite you to drink wine. She'd invite you to come over. She'd tell you, you have to stay with her. She goes, stay with me.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I hate being alone.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  She would love it. She would love it. You have to come meet her. You have to go to Miami.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  I know.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  Let me show you.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  I would like that. Cause last time I was in Miami, I was like, I can't do this ever again.

• 36:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  It's just intense. It's intense. There's like 24 hour clubs. There's multiple 24 hour clubs.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  My friends went to the club at 7 a.m. the other night.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  To space.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. So are you planning on getting drunk for the after party?

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Um, I wanna have a couple of drinks. Sure, yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  What does a guy like you do with money?

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Um, I don't spend it. I'm Jewish.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  And so you don't spend? What's your, what's your, what do you spend?

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Well, no, I do spend. I, I, I go, hmm, what would you say I spend on, Louise? Clothes.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Clothes.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Clothes and travel. Like, I like

• 37:07Speaker 02

  You gotta travel well.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I do, and I do. And if you ever want, like, I, I am a masterclass in, like, convenience is key.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Do you know there is a service that I just discovered today? That the second you land, you get off the plane and they just drive you home?

• 37:24Speaker 02

  From the plane?

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  And what's the service?

• 37:27Speaker 01

  Delta VIP.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, man. I've done that before, yeah.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  But they don't take me home, they take me to my car.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Well, that's what I meant.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Um, how do I spend my money? I like, lately, I think it's been like, um, I just love the take, being with my friends and covering it. I need to stop doing that, but, um, I've had, I've had plenty of conversations about this that I need to like chill about it.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  You like doing that?

• 37:54Speaker 02

  But I just do like, like, taking care of it. But I'm getting better about it, cause it's, it's a lot of money. You have to like

• 38:02Speaker 01

  I'm chill. Hold on.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  What? What are you about to do?

• 38:06Speaker 01

  Call Payton.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Can I guess what the call is? This is a call where Payton tells me that you have never paid for anything for them in their entire life.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Hi, I'm with Marcelo, we're doing therapists. Guess what, I said, we're talking about how, like, first of all, say hi.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Hello Peyton.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  He's, he said, she says miss you.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Oh, I miss you too.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  He said, I said, what, he's like, how do you like to spend your money? I said, on clothes, whatever, I said, how do you?

• 38:31Speaker 03

  Or not at all.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, or that, and then I said, how do you like to spend your money? You'll ne- you'll never guess his answer.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Am I supposed to guess?

• 38:39Speaker 01

  No, he says he likes to pay for his friends.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Cool, I want you to get a notebook, get a pen, and take notes.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  But Peyton, I need to work on that, because my friends will love me either way, right?

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Like, yeah, but would I love if Jake, like, brought me on a date, like, every once, every three years? Yeah.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Jake.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  I know, it's bad.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  You gotta do better.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Well, I did, I did, Peyton was just, I want a vacation from hell, and I did offer to pay for her room, which I didn't do.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  Okay, but, but.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Of course you didn't, however, Jake did get me a purse I had been wanting forever for my birthday.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  The Prada party, what was it, the Prada party?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  The party purse.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  It's a Prada bag with a rave on it.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  With a what?

• 39:23Speaker 01

  With a disco ball.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Oh, a disco ball.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  It's the Prada party purse.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  But.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  With a rave on it.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Well, to be fair, Peyton, we were at drinks, and Peyton started pulling up bags and saying, I want this one.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  Also, also, to be fair, I think that you roll a lot deeper than I do. Like.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  Where's that, Liam?

• 39:38Speaker 02

  That, I don't, I don't go out with maybe as many people as you do, like, when you.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  How many people you go out with? We don't have many friends.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  It's like three or four of us, max.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Wait, there's five of us.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Well, I'm, I'm trying to make you look better, but I don't think it's a good thing, I think I need to, like, relax about it.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Okay, I think I need to work on it.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  I think you're doing good, I think.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, you guys can, can find a happy medium together.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Let's find, I love that, thank you Peyton.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  Okay, love you, Pay.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Love you.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Have you ever been to Dominican Republic?

• 40:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  And you speak a little bit of Spanish?

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Okay, ask me a question.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Okay, um, ¿cómo estás?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Uh, así, así.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  ¿Qué te está molestando estos días?

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Sorry? One more time? Uno más.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  ¿Qué te molesta estos días?

• 40:29Speaker 01

  How long have I studied Spanish for?

• 40:31Speaker 02

  What bothers you?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Um, I can't speak Spanish, actually.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  But, okay, there's nothing really there.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  No. How was the Dominican Republic when you went?

• 40:41Speaker 02

  It was beautiful.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  It was beautiful?

• 40:43Speaker 02

  You have to go, the people, it's, it's, it's really just an unbelievable place. And it's beautiful, and I think it's on the rise. And I think that it's peaceful and the, it's a natural beauty.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  Do you gossip a lot?

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Um, I wouldn't say I gossip a lot, um, but, uh...

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Does your mom?

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I think it's a mom thing.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think...

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Figure out who's doing what and what they did with what. And my mom also would always do the thing where, my, my mom and my grandmother, they gossip about people they don't even know. They would just do like, if they see a news story about like, a child that was abducted, immediately they're coming to me and being like, "You're a child. That could have been you."

• 41:29Speaker 01

  Shut, what?

• 41:30Speaker 02

  "To live my life in fear that that could have been me."

• 41:33Speaker 01

  What is the most trouble you've ever gotten into with your mom, ever? Because in your special, you talk a lot about how you got in trouble at the mall, how you got in trouble...

• 41:40Speaker 02

  That's the one, the phone call.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Really?

• 41:42Speaker 02

  That's the biggest thing I've ever done.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  But you said you punished yourself.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, but, I mean, it was like, I was already punished. It was like, I felt like punishing myself. I didn't punish myself, I just felt like, I felt so bad about it. It was like, truly, like, it was, we haven't talked, we still don't talk about it because it was that bad.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  He basically, like, told everyone on the bus that he, his parents let him smoke cigarettes and drink. How old were you, 10?

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  And he got a call from CPS being like, "We're gonna take you away." Turns out it was just his mom's friend fucking with him.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  But his mom was like, every single day for two weeks, when he would go to school, would be like, "All right, well, I have to go pee in a cup to prove that I'm not on drugs." It was all a lie, the whole thing was a ruse.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was a ruse, I got rused. But that was like probably the worst thing I ever did. That and then it was just like little stuff, you know what I mean, like I had to-

• 42:33Speaker 01

  You were a good kid!

• 42:34Speaker 02

  I was not, I was not really a great, I was a good kid, like I never did anything insane. But I definitely was like, I would get a lot of trouble in school. A lot of times that my mom is like, "I'm working until 4pm, you can't miss the bus." And then I get a detention and then I have to miss the bus. And many times she would have to pick me up at school at like 7, 8pm. Um, stuff like that. I never had like any like drug or alcohol abuse situation.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  I think the most trouble I ever got in was when I blacked out and broke my wrist. And my mom had told me two days prior that she was okay with me drinking a little. And then she was like, "You know, like you could have a drink here and there." And I was like, "Oh, okay, great." And then I broke my wrist.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god. I never got in any trouble like that, like no police trouble. Ooh, one time, this was really bad. Um, one time I, um, I crashed my car texting and driving. And I hit a person and they came out of the car like, I didn't hit like a human, I hit a car. But the people came out, like my neck, my back.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Did you have to like handle it through insurance or outside?

• 43:34Speaker 02

  I don't even, I don't even remember. I think my mom and they were like, but they did this, the thing about scaring me, like we, you might have to go to court.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Well, you could have, you hit someone.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  I know, it was really bad.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  You know the guy still hasn't texted me back, the guy that I'm supposed to-

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Are you serious?

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  So it's getting worse. I think also when you're with a friend and you're having a conversation, you can't relax about it, but the time is not passing that fast.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  How is he not texting me? I'm so sorry.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  Can I call him?

• 43:56Speaker 01

  No, we have a date in four hours and I'm actually so confused, should I text him?

• 44:00Speaker 02

  What if I just call him? From my phone, just to see if he's on his phone. And he won't even know it's me. Can we please do that? He won't even know it's me. Did he use my phone? Yeah, safe, yeah.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes, yes. Dude, this is really good. Here we go, ready? Do not disturb, I'm doing double, I'm doing double, you just have to, it's part of the thing.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Is not available. Up the phone.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  Hang up.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Hello? I'm calling in regard to the car on sale in the Facebook Marketplace. Call me back, please. Thank you.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I don't think that's bad. Hello?

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I had to go pee. I had to go pee.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  That voice.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Why won't... So did he decline your call?

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, he declined the call. He's... Yeah, but also I feel like he's really in something that's busy.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Yes, he's busy.

• 44:52Speaker 02

  That makes me feel like you're... You're okay. It's not that bad.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  I need a boyfriend.

• 45:00Speaker 01

  I'm gonna crash out. I'm gonna crash out.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  And if he calls you... He's not gonna call you back. I wanted the voicemail to be a person you don't call back.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Well, you're calling about the car on Facebook Marketplace.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, which is... Hey.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Realistic.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  I thought about that on the fly.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Okay, so we're about to get into the tell me what's wrongs. But before we do, I do have to pee my pants.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  Okay, great. Let's take a break.

• 45:22Speaker 01

  This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot... Yeah! So I actually have my best friend Alice on the phone with me right now. Alice, we just got back from Japan together. Would you like to tell the pussies how you booked every single one of our stays?

• 45:39Speaker 03

  I really did my big one. It took me about four days to make sure I was booking the right places, the right things, and we got such good deals on Booking.com and like will be using time and time again.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Like, how amazing were those deals, Alice?

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Obviously, they weren't free, but like, they were... They were close.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  You heard it here first, as you always do with Booking.com. I've used it on tour. I used it on my recent trip. Like, you literally just put in, "Okay, we're with four people. We need two beds. We wanna tear..." Like, they really just make it so much easier, especially when you're traveling with a group. Everybody has such different needs for where they wanna stay, and Booking.com just makes it so easy. So, literally, thank you, Booking.com, for helping my trip with Japan and helping me book, obviously, all of my... Tour spots. Also, at this rate, I have been in New York for a week now for Broadway. And I booked it on booking.com because I wanted to make sure I was near a gym, somewhere I could get coffee,

• 46:42Speaker 01

  just like walking distance to like anything I would need. So, seriously, thank you, booking.com. I would literally use it for everywhere I go, and it's been the most helpful. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Okay, so tell me about the SNL schedule. I know the, okay, well, I guess people watching would know. The SNL schedule is, do you, are you, do you write?

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  Okay, so you write?

• 47:08Speaker 02

  So I'll tell you, Jason Sudeikis, name drop alert.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  He told me that people always ask him about the SNL schedule, and he had to find a quick way to explain it to someone.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  And he gave it to me so that I can do it, and then it makes my life easier. So on Monday, we talk about it.

• 47:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  We talk to the host, we talk to the writers, everybody talks on Monday. Set schedule, set meetings for Tuesday. On Tuesday, we write, all day, all night, we write. And on Tuesday, there's that dinner that we all go to with the host, that Lauren and the producers, they select some cast to join them at dinner with the host.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Okay, you guys get drunk?

• 47:48Speaker 02

  No, because you gotta go back to the office.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  So you can have one, maybe, but you gotta go back and be a person. So Tuesday, we write. Wednesday, we read. So on Wednesday morning, you send in all your sketches. At Wednesday afternoon, we all sit at the table and we read thirty-eight to forty sketches. So it takes hours. So we're done at like eight-thirty, nine. We sit at that table for a long time. And then from nine to like ten, ten-thirty, they pick what's on the show. So then on Thursday, there's rewrites all day. So the ones that were picked, you meet up with all the writers and you rewrite the sketches. You find out which moments weren't that good, you try to make them better. And then on Thursday night, I believe there's a few rehearsals as well.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  And then Friday is when you record everything that's pre-recorded, and also you rehearse a lot of the other sketches.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  And then on Saturday, you do.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Usually you get there at like noon and then you're there until 1:30 a.m. when it's over. So Saturday, we're rehearsing all day and then at 8:00 p.m. we do the dress rehearsal. And then at 10:00 p.m. we find out what was cut between dress and air, 10:00, 10:30. And then at 11:30, we do the show show.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  What has your favorite show you've ever done been?

• 49:08Speaker 02

  I think the one that was most emotionally like, the one that made me cry was with Bad Bunny.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  When he hosted the first time and he brought like, obviously like I was helping people that were putting Spanish into his sketches. I felt like important and like useful and that was really nice. And then um, we had this protective mom sketch that I had done with Pedro where he's my mom. And we, you know, Lorne, um, the producers thought it was, maybe we bring it back for that one. Then we brought it back and I got to write it and put Bad Bunny as my aunt.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  Pedro as my mom and it was funny and we had a great time. And I think after that show, I remember like going to the after party and seeing my friends and just crying.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  It was like big.

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Like hysterically sob?

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, like uh, like um, but it was like, you know, it was a moment.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  And I felt like I had like really like done something.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's amazing. And then what is on the flip side? A sketch where you you got off stage, you were like, I literally, I've never bombed that hard in my life.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  It happens a lot. Uh, like at dress rehearsal, some of the sketches just don't work and you just, you get cut and you get cut. Um, we've done a few that just don't work, but I uh, I pride myself on like, it's okay to be like, for a second to be like damn or whatever, but like, I don't get too low and I try not to get too high either.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Really?

• 50:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz then you.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. You ever heard the song Happy and Sad by Kacey Musgraves?

• 50:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  You should listen to it.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a good one.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  It talks about like when you're feeling really happy, you're like, oh my god, something bad's gonna happen.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Right. It's tough. And uh, ooh, Tom Hanks has a great quote that I saw him do on a YouTube thing where he's like, um, whenever you think you have it all figured out, you're wrong.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  That's the quote?

• 51:02Speaker 02

  And then whenever you think that you have nothing figured out and everything's going bad.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  You're wrong as well.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  If you would just give me a second to finish it.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a lesson in patience for me, clearly.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Well, let's, I'm gonna, before we get into the Tell Me What's Wrong, I am gonna see, but still no response, that's cool.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Well, he ignored the call, he's busy. Pass me one of those stress balls, you're making me stressed. I didn't realize that we're gonna be so sticky, Jake. I'm sorry.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Well, I like it.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  Oh, it's slimy.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  It's slimy.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  I'm sure it'll get dry the longer you have it.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  What was your favorite place when you would go to the mall with your mom, and you said you hated it, which actually was probably the most shocking part of your special, because I love the mall.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Really?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Well, I guess that doesn't mean you would like it, but what was your favorite place to go to?

• 51:47Speaker 02

  We're different, you and I.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  In, in the mall?

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Um, my favorite place to go to in the mall, I don't know, I really didn't enjoy it, but I will say that I would go now.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  You wanna go to the mall?

• 51:59Speaker 02

  I would go to the mall. I would go to the mall, I'd go to the mall with you, I'd go to the mall with my mom, I would go to the mall, I'd probably have a good time. I also think back then you have no money.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Right, right, you're like, what am I doing?

• 52:09Speaker 02

  And, yeah, and wanting something is scary, cuz your mom is like, really, Mr. C in math?

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Did you have an allowance as a kid?

• 52:16Speaker 02

  No.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  I would get like, sometimes my parents would drop me off at a place called Sunset Place, and that's where you do lose your laps and you have your first kiss and all that stuff. And, um, they would give me 20 bucks, I'd get up, they'd be like-

• 52:27Speaker 01

  I would, my parents would give me 20 as well.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  You'd do that, but I never had an allowance, I never had like chores, I never was like, oh, I took out the trash, I deserve money, my mom was like, no, this is my house and I pay rent.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  You know, I didn't-

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Or mortgage.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  You know, I didn't do chores as a kid?

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Never did chores?

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Never, not once.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Do you think that it's hurt you in your older life?

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Absolutely, I didn't know how to do laundry until I got to college.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  I didn't know how to do the dishwasher until I moved into my second apartment in college.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Well, so the Tell Me What's Wrong, you obviously know since you've seen the show.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Um, and we prescribe stuff.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  My best friend of 10 plus years has a lying problem. Recently, she's been retelling stories that I'm a part of, oh, and she's adding things that are untrue and always end up making me look bad and her look good.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  I've been there. Other friends have noticed it too, okay, well, that's the first part, and she even fabricated a story and told my coworkers, which made me really uncomfortable, and I had to do damage control, what do I do?

• 53:20Speaker 01

  So it's awkward when you have a friend like that, because they'll never, cuz they already have the lying problem, like that's seeded into them, they will never look at you and tell you that they lied. Ever.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  You think so?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  I know so. You'll say, you just lied, they'll say, no, I didn't.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Even if you put the pressure on?

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, they'll say, no, I didn't, you're lying.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  I don't really know what to prescribe.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  I think you need to have like more faith in people.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you know what I prescribe?

• 53:42Speaker 02

  What?

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Do you remember in the episode of Pluribus where she gave her the truth serum?

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  That.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  The truth serum, which is?

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Heroin?

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Tequila.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Or something.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry. Cause didn't she ask for heroin in Pluribus?

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that was not, had nothing to do, whatever. Um, I, uh, I prescribe like a, like a let's have drinks with this girl and have a lot of drinks, like a lot, enough drinks that towards the end of the night, when you're blackout, you go, hey, I'm not mad, but we have to talk about this.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Do you watch The Real Housewives?

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Um, a little bit with my family, yeah.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Which ones do you watch? Cause that is something that they would do.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  My sister does, um, my sister does Miami, Salt Lake City.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Shut up!

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Uh, of course, Salt Lake City is apparently the best one.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  It is the best one. Do you watch Salt Lake City?

• 54:32Speaker 02

  A little bit, yeah.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Who's your favorite?

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Um, I don't have a favorite.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Come on.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  I don't have a favorite, but my favorite-

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Lisa Barlow, "I'm very important to God." Have you heard her say that?

• 54:40Speaker 02

  No, what did she say?

• 54:41Speaker 01

  She said, "I'm very important to God."

• 54:42Speaker 02

  To God?

• 54:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Okay, that's funny. Uh, I like Miami. I like in Miami, um-

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Miami's one of the best, too.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Miami is one of the best. I like, uh, the girl that's with the firefighter.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  I don't watch Miami, so I wouldn't know, but I do know that it is considered one of the best.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  I watch-

• 54:56Speaker 01

  I only watch Salt Lake.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Miami's really good, though.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  So you watch?

• 55:00Speaker 02

  My sister, yeah, I sit down with my sister sometimes and I watch The Housewives with her. It's, it's television. People, you can, you can hate on it all you want, it's television. It's good TV.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Some of the best actors in the world watch Housewives.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  The stuff happens, it's drama, it's would you, can you believe her? I love that. I don't find myself to be a very dramatic person. Like, I don't like get there very often, so it's nice to see people get there

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  over stuff that's not that important.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  You're not dramatic?

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Not that dramatic. I think I definitely am dramatic, but I think that level is kind of performative.

• 55:31Speaker 01

  You know what I would prescribe, actually?

• 55:33Speaker 02

  To this girl?

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Yes. Real Housewives of New York City, Scary Island episodes, cause Kelly Ben, or maybe not Scary Island, but just like that whole season with Kelly Ben Simone in general, cause she just lies through her teeth. My friend, my friend Gwyneth, remember that? She's just a liar and you just, you can't, you have to just like deal with it.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  Right, but only if you love this person do I recommend having the drinks and doing the thing.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  My twin sister and my boyfriend have been hooking up behind my back for months. I found out through a mutual friend that told me when we were a little drunk last weekend.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  You see, you see how they, you see how the information gets out?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Yes, I feel so betrayed by both parties, obviously, and have no idea what to do with this information. I haven't told them I know yet and it's taking everything from me not to murder them both. How do I handle this in the most evil way possible?

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Whoa, in the most evil way?

• 56:24Speaker 02

  My twin sister is hooking up with my boyfriend behind my back.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Would you consider yourself to be a petty person?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Um, not too petty, no.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  I also don't think I'm petty, she would disagree.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Petty to me is like if somebody like, if you find out that someone's been talking to someone else behind your back and they tell you, you post like a story with the person that told you the stuff. You know what I mean? That to me is like petty behavior.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  That's calculated.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  That's calculated and petty.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Oh, but if I find out someone's talking-

• 56:52Speaker 02

  I've had the opportunity to do that and I didn't do it.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Oh, you, do you get your feelings hurt if you find out someone's speaking about you, about, behind your back?

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Um, no.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Neither do I.

• 57:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  Well-

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Cause, cause what, cause what? Cause there's no such thing as what? Bad press, honey.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  You believe that?

• 57:09Speaker 02

  I don't know, I just wanted to say it.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Um, what do we prescribe to this girl? Oh, no, no, how do we prescribe? She wants the most evil solution.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  I mean, I mean, the, the classic response is like a rom com where like John Tucker must die, which I've prescribed many a times, however-

• 57:25Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  You've never seen John Tucker Must Die?

• 57:27Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Oh, it's fabulous.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 57:29Speaker 01

  You would love it.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  I, I recommend something crazy.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Oh, I actually know what I recommend to you.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  I recommend something crazy, but this has lifelong effects.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Okay, what?

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Tell your mom.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, because it's her, it's the sister.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? And it's like, and they look the same and it's hard to pick one, but when you find out something like this, you pick one.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  I would prescribe girls on HBO specifically because Hannah, the main character's boyfriend starts hooking up with her best friend behind her back and she writes a think piece on it.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:01Speaker 02

  But naming names?

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Hmm, no, but they know. My parents of 20 plus years just told me at the-

• 58:06Speaker 02

  This was an evil solution to, to, to send it to you so you read it on here.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  This was part of it already.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  So like, if you know, you know.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  If you know, you know now, and if you really wanna be evil, tell your mom.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Tell, tell your mom?

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Tell your mom.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  What would your mom do?

• 58:21Speaker 02

  If she found that out?

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Let's say you had a brother.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  It would just be like, I still love you, and you'll always question if that's true.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 58:30Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 58:30Speaker 01

  What?

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Cause you were like, she'll be like, she'll tell you that's wrong, and that you should, you did the wrong thing, and that you should never betray your sister like that. And then for the rest of your life, you'll kinda live with that guilt of like, I let my mother down in a crazy way.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  God, I don't have that guilt.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  No?

• 58:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Do you have any siblings?

• 58:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  I'd be like, look, desperate times.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  What?

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Probably, like, I don't know.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  My parents of 20 plus years just told me at the ripe age of 24-

• 59:02Speaker 02

  My parents of 20 plus years, just, that's just your parents. What?

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Okay, I guess you're right.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, she was telling us her age, that's what she was saying.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  My parents just told me at the age of 24 that they're getting divorced, and my dad is joining a polycule. What is that?

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Oh, that's when you have sex with multiple people.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 59:19Speaker 02

  It's a relationship with multiple people.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  The weirdest thing is my mom is totally fine with it. Well, obviously. Like, they've been talking about it. Please, how do I cope with this? It's so weird, even though I'm already out of the house. Oh, you just have to, it's, it's, it's, you're at that age where you're like, oh my god, my parents are just grown up children. They don't know what they're doing.

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Right.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Do you ever feel that way? Like, oh my god, my parents are just grown up children?

• 59:38Speaker 02

  I prescribe a group chat with the wives.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Why?

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Just get in there, start to have some wine, and try to enjoy it. They feel guilty too. They just took a, a normal family, the other people in the polycule. I think that the other people in the polycule, I think that they feel bad too. They're like, oh my god, this guy had a normal life, and then now, because of the polycule, it's gonna, it's all kind of, gonna be different now. So use that guilt to kinda have some fun, try to have some fun, try to make them, you know, get you some gifts.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, double Christmas?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, with that, it's probably like triple, quadruple Christmas.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Well, your parents are divorced, right?

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  My parents are divorced.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  So do you get double Christmas?

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  I get double Christmas, yeah, sure.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  I get double Christmas. I also have a, I have a mom, I have a stepdad, and I have a dad. And my mom and my stepdad, they got divorced, and then they got back together.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  Wow. Oh my god, love your mom's energy.

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  She's just-

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Didn't work, let's try it again.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Literally, and the real savage move is to divorce. Is like, whatever that problem was, it was, we're divorced.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  And then if you can repent,

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  Take your time, repent away from me.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  You a religious man?

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Um, I believe in God, yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  I believe in God, I pray.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  You pray?

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  I pray every once in a while.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  You pray before every show?

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Um, I don't pray before every show, I pray before my special, I pray every time I get on a plane, and I pray every once in a while on my own. I do wanna, I've been trying to do this, I wanna pray every night.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Okay, does your girlfriend also pray?

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Um, I think she does have a relationship with God, yeah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  But I wanna pray at night. I wanna pray at night. I used to do this, um, where you pray at night and you talk about what you want for the, what you're thankful for for today, and what you want for tomorrow.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Okay, let's practice that right now.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Okay, ready?

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  Alright, what are you thankful for, for today?

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Are we really gonna pray?

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, yes.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  Cause if we're gonna pray, we're gonna pray.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  Okay, ready? Let's do a little prayer, let's do a little prayer, alright.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  God, I am thankful for my friends, for my family, for my health. I'm thankful for this week in LA. I've been able to share a lot of time with people that I admire and people that I respect. I am grateful for, um, my special that is coming out. Thank you for allowing that to happen without a hitch. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to have this week to promote it and to try to get people to watch it, because you know how much work I put into it. Um, that's what I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for my family, for my friends, for my relationship, and for, um, the people on my team that, uh, make me a better person and make me work very hard. Uh, Jake, what are you thankful for for today?

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Okay, thank you, God, for, um, giving me the health to be able to work out this morning. I loved my workout. Um, thank you for, um, letting me have this space, um, to interview my friends and talk to them. Um, I would actually really appreciate it if you had the guy that I'm going on the date with tonight. Text me back. I've been waiting and I need to know if I need to show up to Sushi Fumi at eight thirty P M or not. But other than that, I am so grateful. I'm grateful for my body. I feel like I've been looking a little slimmer these days, so thank you for that. I know that's both you and me together.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  And um, I'm grateful for, um, you know, I was actually looking in the mirror today and I decided that I really liked my hair, so I'm grateful for my hair. Um, I'm grateful for, okay, so I know that this is, this is like off and on, but like I am grateful for European Wax Center. Even though that it's poorly run, I am grateful for them because I feel really comfortable with my upper arms right now because they're waxed.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  And thank you for that.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  And thank you, amen.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  And and then, no, no, now we do what we want for tomorrow.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, okay. Oh, I already jumped the gun on that one.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  It's okay. And um, for tomorrow, I pray that you please give me the opportunity to have a amazing screening for my special and that everybody comes and that they enjoy it and that they feel identified and that they feel that they had a moment of release and that they laugh. And I also pray that um, tomorrow you um, keep everybody safe and my family and in my friends and that my girlfriend has a safe flight from New York to L A to come uh, see the screening. And I pray that uh, tomorrow you also um, remind me whenever I can to help other people um, when it's possible. And um, and amen. And I know you for tomorrow.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Okay, for tomorrow, um, I'm going to the store at eleven A M and I want them to have the size of the blue and white striped shirt that I really want. So I pray for that. Um, I pray that I do a good job in my workout after I buy the shirt if they have my size, wink wink. Um, and I pray that I um, I find joy in my day tomorrow. Amen.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  That was sweet. That was sweet.

• 1:04:29Speaker 01

  That was so fun. I do pray that they I have the shirt.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Just be grateful. Be grateful.

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  Is that what religion is? Do you think just gratitude or no?

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  I think it's gratitude. I think people.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I saw that too.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think people, um.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Is that a fly?

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  It was God.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  It was God.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  Um, and what did I do? I went, get away from me.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  No, no, but you were just startled by his presence.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Thank you, that's sweet. Um, I think it's that, I think it's you being grateful for the world that you have. And I think it's also when things go bad, you, you need someone that you want to be on your side. And I think it's, you know, it's true that, you know, he's always listening. And I think it's also just placing intentions into the world is, uh, I think it's a healthy thing.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  Uh huh, I do that silently.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Good.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  You know what? I felt so good after prayer.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Oh my god, I feel amazing.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  And imagine doing that every night before you go to sleep.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  You just feel like, oh, I'm putting it out there.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  I'm putting it out there. And then now you start to kind of live life with intention.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  I keep on going out and I cannot get a hint for the life of me in multiple ways. I never know when to go home, girl, same. I never know when I'm too drunk, but mainly, well, obviously that's the point of being drunk, but mainly I never know when someone is into me. I've had experiences where I make the first move and it fails completely. So how can I trust that someone is doing the same to me? I fumbled the bag so hard so many times. How, how, how do I know when someone is flirting with me instead of just bantering or humoring me? Please, it's such a problem. I totally relate to that.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  How do you know? How do you, how did you know when someone was, when your girlfriend was flirting with you?

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  Um, we went on a bunch of dates. I think it took time. Um.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  Patience.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  Patience, I think, um, I think also sometimes you have to make a move and see what the reaction is. I think, you know, if you go on a bunch of dates and you're saying goodbye, you can ask to kiss or to see if it's okay. Um, and, um, I think, I think I really respect people that go, are you flirting with me or are you just humoring me? I think that to me is.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  Oh my god, if I go on my date tonight, I'm gonna use that line.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  It's good, right?

• 1:06:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  Are you flirting with me? Are you interested in me? Or are you just playing with me? Are you just, or are you just being nice? And I think that's like a cute and honest way to get it out of the way and then you know. And then maybe you get a person that's, you know, really honest and it's like, you know what? Honestly, I am just being nice. I am seeing someone or I'm not looking for anything.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  So why go on the date?

• 1:06:53Speaker 02

  No, not on the date, just like a random person at a bar.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  Okay, sorry, that hit home for me. That, that one really hit home for me.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Let's manifest something before we get to the next, um, the next one.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  I'm gonna manifest that he texted me back. Did it?

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  No, he didn't. He's busy, dude.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  That's fucking insane. It's 5pm.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  He rejected two calls back to back. What if that was the biggest opportunity of his whole life?

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Well, it's from an unknown number. That was...

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  By the way, it kind of was one of the biggest opportunities of his whole life, and I think he passed.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  I can't believe he didn't text me back.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  He passed.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  I can't believe he didn't text me back.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  He's busy, Jake. Relax. What was I gonna tell you? Oh, who do you want on the show that you haven't had on?

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Taylor Swift.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  That's okay, that's...

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  Have you met Taylor Swift?

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Uh, I met her once, yeah.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Was she lovely?

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  She was sweet. She was with Travis at an after-party, and I brought, uh, I brought shots, and we did like a shot together.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Ah!

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  She's cool.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Who is the most starstruck you've ever been to meet on SNL?

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Um, I think for me, because I listen to a lot of Spanish music, when I saw Bad Bunny, I was kind of freaking out. Carol G, I was freaking out. Um, I think for me, it's like, those people really are like, whoa. And then, um, I think I would freak out if I ever saw like Jennifer Aniston. Like, I think she's a legend.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  One time I was waving at someone...

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  And we watched the morning show.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Oh, you watch the morning show?

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I watch it.

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Brett loves that show. My roommate.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  I watch it a lot.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  I once was waving at someone, and Jennifer Aniston was staying in the same hotel as me, and she thought I was waving at her, and she said...

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  And I said, "Oh, no," but it was like Jennifer Aniston.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  You said, "Oh, no"?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  No, I was just like, "Oh, my God, that's so awkward." Like, I just had that, and it was with Jennifer Aniston.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  She's a legend, isn't she?

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  Was she the one that was dating Justin Theroux? Yes, they were dating. Yes, they, yes, yes, they were. Have you ever seen The Leftovers?

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  Fantastic.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  Talk about God.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  You know, I have a show coming out?

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, on Hulu, and I'm making it with Paul Brigenti.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  Oh, nice. What is it called?

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Um, Untitled, as of now, but...

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  Okay, and it's all about you?

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  You worked with Paul for a while.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  You're not gonna invite me? No, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't overlap.

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  You didn't overlap?

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Oh, but you're gonna invite me to do the show?

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I've actually thought of you.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Okay, go on.

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  But if you're not too busy, you have like 10 different movies coming out this year. You've got Shrek.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, isn't that insane?

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  Have you filmed Shrek already?

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's been, it's all voiceover, obviously.

• 1:09:05Speaker 01

  Okay, got it.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  What's your Shrek voice?

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Um, it's, it sounds a lot like me.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  It sounds a lot like me.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  And you play Shrek's son?

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  I play one of Shrek's sons, yeah.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  One of?

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  Oh, he's getting around.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  No, it's, he's very fertile. Um, but, uh, that's really crazy exciting, and I did one with Kevin Hart, and it's coming out in July.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. I've heard about this. What's it called again?

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  72 Hours.

• 1:09:28Speaker 01

  And what's it about?

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  It's, uh... It's like a, it's a boys movie. It's like the boys, it's for everyone, but it's, uh, cause there's a bunch, there's a big like girls moment as well, but um, it's a

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  Like, like there's a group of girls in it that are hilarious. And there's a group of boys and um, Kevin is like in the boys group. And we are, uh, it's like a bachelor party movie.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Okay, so what do you think the biggest difference between boy and girl humor is?

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, cause I think I have a little bit of girl humor.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  You do, cause you grew up, like your mom and your sister, you live in a house of women.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know. I guess, I think Shane Gillis is boy humor.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? And then I think I am like, I'm in the middle.

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  I feel like I was a very much a guy, cause I played sports and stuff, but I grew up with a lot of women and I'm, I feel comfortable like hanging with women, wine nights with my aunt, talking, you know what I mean? I talk about it like, um, something when I was younger, I felt like a real guy at school and then I would come home and my sister would be like, I met someone and I'd be like, show me a picture.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  Really? How, how, what's your age difference with your sister?

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  Three years.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  Older? She's older?

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  She's younger.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  She's younger.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  And she's amazing. She's an architect.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  Well, she studied architecture and then she got into interior design.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  Isn't your girlfriend an architect as well?

• 1:10:41Speaker 02

  She is, yeah.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  Wow. Listen.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Listen, guys. Um, you did listen about that. She's badass.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:48Speaker 02

  She makes furniture and stuff.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was showing me on the Sprinter, in which you forgot we hung out on.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  We did hang out on it. Um, yeah, my sister is like, my sister, I, I am the loud one and she's the quiet one. And she has such like a spidey sense for people and she kind of like, she just is great at analyzing things. You know what's something that she does that I'm really jealous of that I think we need to do?

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  Is, I'll be like, something will happen with any of my friends or anybody and I'll be like, um, this happened with this person, what's going on? And she's like, you have to wait. Like, don't jump to a judgment. Give it a little bit of time.

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  Your sister says this?

• 1:11:26Speaker 02

  She's like really emotionally intelligent.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't got that.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  It's literally, what it is, it's like you're saving your energy. Cause I want, I come up to her with a problem and I'm like, I'm ready to be pissed. I'm ready to get therapist about this. And then she's like chill.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Whoa, when's her birthday?

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  She's June 20th.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Gemini.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  Gemini. I'm telling you.

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  And she says this?

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  And she says this stuff. She's also therapized.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  But I think also like, for example, the texting thing, like if someone's not texting me back and I'm like, what's going on? Or like, you know, a business thing isn't happening and I'm like, it's not happening. Why, why won't they answer? I sent like a text with a request and I'm not getting anything. She's like, relax. People are busy, things happen. Sometimes I don't text back, sometimes you don't text back. So give people the same grace that you wish that they gave you.

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  Bang.

• 1:12:14Speaker 01

  Wow, let me just check if he texted me back though. I do wanna see. Okay, so he still hasn't texted me back.

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  You're giving this guy so much power, you know that.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  That power is mine.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  That power is yours. And when, what are you? A bad bitch. Okay?

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  Wow, I wanna hang out with you all the time.

• 1:12:31Speaker 02

  We do need to hang out more.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  We do.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  Uh, that's a fact.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  That's a fact. You gonna, when are you going back to New York?

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  Sunday morning.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  I leave New York Sunday morning.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Okay, alright, next, next one.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  I've had to keep up a lie about my quote fake boyfriend.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  For way too long at this point. It started as a joke for my family members over the holiday. Someone took it seriously though, and it got back to their daughter, my friend, who was over the moon about this for me and told a bunch of people, who cares? They've all been super supportive and none of them are people I'm crazy close with. It has been literally six weeks of this now. And I want to nip it in the bud before the holiday season is over. Without too many follow up questions or people thinking I'm a freak, help. You just say it's a joke, it's like out of control. And you didn't know how to end it. You just need to be honest.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Honestly, that's what I learned. Whenever I would get in trouble at school, I would just think, oh my god, I did it, I'm sorry.

• 1:13:19Speaker 02

  Yup, accountability is big.

• 1:13:21Speaker 01

  You want to know why I did that? Because one time I lied and the principal brought in the other person, like I, I had been playing the field with both people.

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  And they, oh my god, I'll never forget it. Let's just say their names were like, um, Jenny and Casey. And Jenny and Casey got into a blowout fight. And the principal brought both Jenny and Casey in and I had been like talking shit about Casey with Jenny and about Jenny with Casey. And they brought them in and I literally was sitting there and they looked at me like, get fucked.

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  Pick a side.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  I was 11.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  It was horrible.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  You were meant to do this.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  Do what?

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  This is what you're doing.

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  Okay, thank you. Jake and guest. So you, me and my best friend had to get a new roommate because our lease was up and our other roomie moved out. We found this amazing girl, we're both boys, who seemed really nice, sweet and energetic. Flash forward not only two weeks in and my friend and her have already started to flirt hardcore around the house. And have already kissed. So you're jealous. I'm happy for the two of them, but we're in a year-long lease and I don't want the whole thing to blow up. You're jealous. I know you, I know you say don't get involved, but this is sort of my problem too. No, it's not.

• 1:14:29Speaker 02

  No, it's not. And the whole thing of like, I don't want the whole thing to blow up. Why are you manifesting that? Maybe you want it to blow up.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe because you had a crush on the girl or you have a crush on the boy.

• 1:14:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  Wait, we didn't even really talk about your Netflix special enough. I don't think we talked about it enough. I don't think we talked about it enough.

• 1:14:45Speaker 02

  Let's talk a little bit about it.

• 1:14:46Speaker 01

  It's fantastic, American Boy. It's out on Netflix now. It would have already been out at this point.

• 1:14:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  But the direction is incredible. Who directed it?

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  Uh, Nicholas Goosen. He works with Adam Sandler. He's done a bunch of cool stuff.

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  Um, how, you said it's the hardest you've worked on anything ever. And I know we kind of touched on that earlier.

• 1:15:03Speaker 02

  I can explain.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  What did you mean by that?

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Um, so basically when you, when you first, when you film a special, before I filmed a special, I, and I said this yesterday on, on the Doc Shepherd Show, but, um, it was crazy because I was freaking out and I was trying to get guidance from anybody, like. Help and I called Dave Chappelle because he has done a million of these.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:15:24Speaker 02

  And I called him and he told me, he gave me a few pieces of advice. Um, and I actually said this on Tiger, but like not on the actual show. But, um, he told me just little things to remember about the cameras, about the lighting of the audience.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  And stuff that I wouldn't have thought of that was very technical stuff that I needed to hear. Um, and so I came in with that mindset of like, okay, I'm going to do everything I can to make this as good as possible. And so we did that. Um, it was also drama because the shirt that I wanted to wear for the special, we tried to get multiples because you sweat through the shirt and you need another one. The shirt is a one of one vintage shirt, so there's no multiples. There's one shirt. So after I finished each show, my mom who was there the whole week, she's taking it off. She's spraying, she's doing the thing with a air blow dryer.

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  That was shot over multiple nights?

• 1:16:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  That wasn't one night?

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  You've done an excellent job at making me think, wow, talk about movie magic.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  Movie magic. I'm so glad you said that. I was nervous about that.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  That was over multiple days?

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  We filmed six, Jake.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  No. And your best friend out there sat front row every time?

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, no, he was at the, that was movie magic.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Did you guys plan the dap up at the end?

• 1:16:34Speaker 02

  I planned the dap up.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Okay, because it was really smooth.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  I actually made, I, I decided the entire seating chart based on the dap up.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Really? Well, it was very smooth and worked.

• 1:16:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  It was amazing. And your mom introducing you was also very sweet.

• 1:16:45Speaker 02

  She's adorable. Um, and, uh, yeah, so that part was crazy. The shirt thing was a fiasco and then it was doing the shows, great. Have a fun night afterwards, after party, everybody's there. My, all my family came to visit me. My uncle passed away right before.

• 1:17:04Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  So it was like, kind of like in memory of him and my tío Pepito, who I love so much. And I have a letter P here. My girl got me this necklace and it has a letter P on it. And, um, his, you know, his widow came and his kids who I love so much, Jose Ignacio and, um, Nico and Vicky. And, uh, I got to see them and they got to see me do this thing. And a lot of my family and friends and my dad and my stepdad and everybody was there. And, um, my sister, of course, and, um, It was a big moment, have fun, and then afterwards, two weeks later, you have to get into editing.

• 1:17:41Speaker 02

  And the editing was insane. I spent a week, nine hours a day with my director, going literally moment by moment, breath by breath, cutting to different camera shots. I know every shot of the show, I am like, I had to watch it so many times. We did an audio pass where we just listened to it, then we had to do a visual pass, and then we did, I probably did like four or five different sessions on my own where I went through it and I wa- and I wrote notes on everything.

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  What's an example of a note? Like, why would you cut?

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  I don't wanna cut to this camera angle cuz my face, you can't really see my face in this, and you have to see my face cuz it's a reaction.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  Got it, got it, got it.

• 1:18:16Speaker 02

  Um, I don't like this shot, I think it's too dark. I don't think, I think because it's too dark, you're kinda gonna lose interest. I think we're cutting too much between these two jokes. I think we should stick in one camera shot. A lot of that stuff, and then, and then you're doing audio stuff, like, you're, he's so sick of listening.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Me what? No, I'm not!

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  You're do- it doesn't matter. You're doing audio shots.

• 1:18:37Speaker 01

  No, I'm not. Why would you say that?

• 1:18:38Speaker 02

  I don't know, I just felt it.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  I thought I was doing, literally as I'm listening to you, I'm like, wow, I'm really interested in this.

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  Okay, great, great, great. I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm just, I'm just projecting. Listen, um, so, the audio passes, are you listening to it and being like, I didn't like that laugh, was that the real laugh? Did you bump it up? Did you bring it down? What did you do to that? Is that fake? It sounds too loud. I think that, that, that you, you juiced it. You bumped it. I don't wanna bump it. I don't wanna lie. I want it to be real. If they didn't laugh that hard, then they didn't laugh that hard. So it was like, doing that a lot, and it was a lot.

• 1:19:12Speaker 01

  So what, so how?

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  My brother, my stepbrother watched the whole thing and gave me notes. I had to send it to another friend of mine who watched it and gave me notes. You know, my mom would watch it and think about, you know, my mom was like, I have flyaways in my hair, can we fix that with, with movie magic?

• 1:19:26Speaker 01

  Did you fix it with movie?

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  Of course. Um, so it was, it was just so much, so much investment into it, and then even till now, this, this is investing in it, this is working on it.

• 1:19:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  Promoting it and doing all this stuff, and I had never really done podcasts before.

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  You've been speaking about this for quite some time.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  About this, you've been, I've been wanting to do your show, and I haven't been able to cuz I told you I wanted to have my special done.

• 1:19:46Speaker 01

  You did tell me that.

• 1:19:47Speaker 02

  And I did, and now here I am.

• 1:19:48Speaker 01

  You're a man of your word.

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  And I love you.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  I love you too, buddy.

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  Do you mean it?

• 1:19:55Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, today I learned that maybe praying is good for me.

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  You should try it.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I should try it.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  Even as just a meditation, I think it's a beautiful thing.

• 1:20:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree. Well, Marcelo, thanks for coming on the show.

• 1:20:07Speaker 02

  You're welcome for coming on the show, and I want to tell you that I'm very, very proud of you. And this is so exciting, and you just sold this to Netflix. And you used to be an assistant at a record label, and you made it out, and you're making a real name for yourself. And you're sitting here next to some super famous people. I'm watching you reach every person that you've wanted is coming, and Taylor is coming. I'm gonna manifest it.

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  That's very sweet.

• 1:20:26Speaker 02

  She will do it. And I'm proud of you, and I'm grateful for you, and I hope you enjoy your gifts.

• 1:20:31Speaker 01

  I love you. Thank you for my gifts. I am proud of you.

• 1:20:34Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  And I'm grateful for you as well.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  Thank you, and love, bro.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Love. You want to give a little bye pussies?

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  Goodbye pussies.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  Yay!

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

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