Pod Insights Therapuss with Jake Shane Session 107: Marcello Hernández About this episode What if it all works out..?
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Transcript 18,066 words · 5 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 Parenting unlocks some pretty impressive skills like carrying grocery bags, a soccer ball, and a sleepy kid all at once. Good thing the newly designed Chrysler Pacifica has a few tricks of its own. Hands-free power sliding doors and liftgate, rear seat entertainment, and stow and go seating and storage that adapts faster than your family's weekend plans. Visit Chrysler.com to learn more. Chrysler is a registered trademark of FCAUS LLC.
0:43 Speaker 01 Hey pussies, welcome back to Therapuss. I filmed an intro for this yesterday during the blizzard, but I was told I had a booger in my nose, so I had to re-film it. I don't know why I told you guys that, but there you go. We just had a huge blizzard in New York, so that's why I'm filming this on my phone, because we couldn't get the equipment in time. But I hope you guys enjoyed last week's episode on Netflix. I am currently on Broadway for All Out with Jenny Slate, Nicholas Braun, Ray Romano. If you've already come and seen it, thank you so much for coming. I hope you loved it. If you haven't, tickets are available in my bio. I am on the show until March 8th. We are closing it out. It is written by the incredible Simon Rich and directed by Alex Timbers,
1:27 Speaker 01 who I adore, just like it's been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I have a show tonight. I'm so excited. But for tonight's episode, we have the incredible Marcelo Hernandez, who I am very grateful and honored to call a close friend. I've known him for years. He is one of the best people I've ever met. He is hysterical. I've had the pleasure of seeing him live, which was just, he really could get up on that stage and deliver stand-up for 10 hours straight like a marathon without taking a beat. Like, he is someone that I truly believe is made for this. He is so talented. So if you haven't seen his stand-up special, American Boy, which is on Netflix, please go see it. It is incredible. He is incredible. Marcelo, I love you. As far as life updates with me... My psychiatrist is trying to get me to go on Wellbutrin.
2:12 Speaker 01 Brett, who's on it, says it's amazing. And then I have other people telling me it might make my anxiety worse. So I'm kind of just like going back and forth on like whether I should do that or not. I guess, I think that's all the updates I have for you guys. Enjoy the episode. I'm sorry for the short, low-quality intro. It is because of the blizzard, which was amazing. But also now there is slush everywhere and it is impossible to get anywhere. But enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.
2:41 Speaker 01 You know, you're my first recording of this new set, new season, new everything.
2:46 Speaker 02 I was gonna say it looks a little bit different, but I like it. I like how it looks. I can see the shadow.
2:49 Speaker 01 Have you seen the show before?
2:50 Speaker 02 Of course.
2:51 Speaker 01 What's your favorite episode?
2:56 Speaker 02 I don't know. I like to see you excited. You get very excited for almost everyone.
3:02 Speaker 02 But I don't know. I think the Renee rap one was really fun.
3:05 Speaker 01 Oh, you do actually watch?
3:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course.
3:07 Speaker 01 Okay. Well, I'm so excited you're here. Well, everybody, welcome Marcelo Hernandez. His new Netflix special, American Boy, is out now. It's amazing.
3:17 Speaker 02 Thank you.
3:18 Speaker 01 How was it? I was filming it. How was everything? I'm sorry, I'm so rusty. I haven't done this in like four months.
3:25 Speaker 02 It's okay. You've been traveling, taking little thirst traps.
3:29 Speaker 01 Yes.
3:30 Speaker 02 I see you.
3:30 Speaker 01 Yes.
3:31 Speaker 02 I see him.
3:31 Speaker 01 Yes. Did you like my thirst trap?
3:33 Speaker 02 I think you're doing great, man.
3:35 Speaker 01 Thank you.
3:35 Speaker 02 You're looking for love, I imagine.
3:37 Speaker 01 Yes. I have a date tonight.
3:39 Speaker 02 Wow.
3:40 Speaker 01 Well, he actually texted me at 6:00 a.m. trying to cancel. So I said, he said, I woke up, I feel sick. I was like, all right, so all good. We can rain check. He's like, no, no, no, let's keep it. So I said, okay, are we still on for the same plan? I said that at 10:00 a.m. What time is it now? It's 3:30. He hasn't responded.
3:57 Speaker 02 Do you get, do you not get germophobia when they tell you they're feeling sick?
4:00 Speaker 01 No, I'm pretty desperate.
4:02 Speaker 02 You're down.
4:03 Speaker 01 I'm like, whatever.
4:04 Speaker 02 Wow. And I think a 6 a.m. cancel is pretty respectable.
4:08 Speaker 01 So respectable, but he said, he said, "I woke up, I don't feel good, but I can't tell if I'm just tired." So I said, "Okay, well, we can rain check if you want." He said, "No, no, no, I just worked out, I feel fine, so let's keep it." So I'm like, "Okay, great," sushi fumi at 8:30.
4:21 Speaker 02 Right.
4:21 Speaker 01 And he never responded.
4:23 Speaker 02 He woke up and the first thing that came to his mind...
4:25 Speaker 01 Was me.
4:26 Speaker 02 Right.
4:27 Speaker 01 Speaking of relationships, you're not married.
4:28 Speaker 02 Not, well, no, I was not married, it was a promo, but um...
4:32 Speaker 01 That was promo?
4:33 Speaker 02 That was promo.
4:34 Speaker 01 For your Netflix special?
4:35 Speaker 02 Of course.
4:37 Speaker 01 Oh.
4:37 Speaker 02 You can tell, by now, they will have seen the second part.
4:40 Speaker 01 Well, I thought you were married.
4:42 Speaker 02 I know, I know.
4:42 Speaker 01 I thought that's what you did over break, because you told me you were going to your, weren't you at your girlfriend's house?
4:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, I went to see her in Dominican Republic, yeah.
4:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, how was that?
4:49 Speaker 02 It was awesome.
4:50 Speaker 01 I love her.
4:50 Speaker 02 I love the Dominican Republic, she's so cute, have you met her before?
4:53 Speaker 01 Really?
4:54 Speaker 02 You have?
4:55 Speaker 01 We spent literally an entire night together.
4:56 Speaker 02 Is that true? Oh, yes, of course, of course, of course, I remember, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.
5:00 Speaker 01 We were in your Sprinter van.
5:01 Speaker 02 Yes, of course.
5:02 Speaker 01 We were smoking cigarettes.
5:03 Speaker 02 We had a blast, yes, I remember.
5:05 Speaker 01 Like, we spent like, at least four hours together.
5:07 Speaker 02 We spent a long time together, I don't, I, yeah, okay.
5:10 Speaker 01 How'd you guys meet?
5:12 Speaker 02 We met at a charity event in New York, and a friend of hers wanted me to make a video for her dad, because her dad is a fan, and then she was like the friend, the uncomfortable friend that comes with the friend to do the asking for a video thing. And then I just saw her and I got her Instagram, and a year later, we finally went out.
5:33 Speaker 01 Love comes around.
5:34 Speaker 02 It does.
5:35 Speaker 01 It really comes around.
5:36 Speaker 02 If it's for you, it's for you.
5:38 Speaker 01 I know.
5:39 Speaker 02 That's just what I...
5:40 Speaker 01 I have three dates, well...
5:42 Speaker 02 You have three dates?
5:42 Speaker 01 Three dates lined up this week.
5:44 Speaker 02 If it's for you, you will have, what do they say, you turned over every rock?
5:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, every rock is turned. Every rock is turned. Well, I have a date tonight, I have a date Friday, and I have a date Saturday.
5:55 Speaker 02 You can't talk like that.
5:57 Speaker 01 What?
5:57 Speaker 02 You just can't say that.
5:58 Speaker 01 What do you want me to say?
6:00 Speaker 02 You have to, you have to at least pretend to be selective and, you know what I mean? At least put the, like, at least be like, "Oh yeah, I never," say stuff like, "I never go on dates," so they feel special, because if, for example, if I'm a guy that asks you on a date, right?
6:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:14 Speaker 02 And I'm watching your podcast, and I see you go, "I have a date tomorrow, I have a date on Friday, I have a date," I go, "I'm canceling," actually, I might wake up sick.
6:24 Speaker 01 Okay, so pretend to be selective.
6:26 Speaker 02 Yes, at least hide it. You know what I mean? You want them to feel special. And when you tell them that you have a date every other day, they go, okay, well. There's confidence. They should be like, if I'm, if I'm the best one, I should be the best one, but like.
6:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:39 Speaker 02 Why are you going on? I don't, listen, I'm, I'm trying to date you. I don't want you to go on three dates in one week.
6:44 Speaker 01 Right, of course.
6:45 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
6:46 Speaker 01 So how did your relationship happen with your current girlfriend? You went on one date and then you were like, okay, it's it?
6:50 Speaker 02 No, we went on like 20 million dates.
6:52 Speaker 01 Okay, so I have a question. How do you like? Like, how do you like, like, listen?
6:58 Speaker 02 Right.
6:59 Speaker 01 So like, do you know what I mean?
7:00 Speaker 02 Oh, of course I know what you mean.
7:02 Speaker 01 Like, do you know what I mean?
7:02 Speaker 02 I have a whole thing about it in the show.
7:04 Speaker 01 No, of course, of course. It's your, your mom didn't believe you had ADHD.
7:07 Speaker 02 It's fear. You, you listen out of fear.
7:10 Speaker 01 But I'm not fearful.
7:11 Speaker 02 I, but you have to be. Because I think you have to be scared to make them feel bad, you know, and to make them feel like you don't care.
7:21 Speaker 01 When's your birthday?
7:22 Speaker 02 August.
7:23 Speaker 01 Leo?
7:23 Speaker 02 Yeah. What are you?
7:26 Speaker 01 Guess.
7:26 Speaker 02 Um, uh,
7:30 Speaker 02 asparagus.
7:31 Speaker 01 Why?
7:34 Speaker 02 I don't know, dude. An octopus. A year of February. October.
7:40 Speaker 01 October, yeah.
7:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course.
7:41 Speaker 01 But what, how old do you think I am?
7:43 Speaker 02 Cancer.
7:43 Speaker 01 Well, how old do you think I am?
7:45 Speaker 02 Um, how old now?
7:47 Speaker 01 Yes, wasn't that the original?
7:49 Speaker 02 No, I thought you were asking me what sign you were.
7:51 Speaker 01 Oh, well, you guessed it.
7:53 Speaker 02 October, Cancer.
7:54 Speaker 01 Well, that would be June.
7:55 Speaker 02 Virgo.
7:56 Speaker 01 Scorpio.
7:56 Speaker 02 Scorpio.
7:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:57 Speaker 02 Scorpio. That means that you have a thing. That means that you, you go, you think everything's good and then they fuck.
8:03 Speaker 01 Yes.
8:05 Speaker 02 Is that true?
8:05 Speaker 01 Are you into astrology or is your girlfriend?
8:07 Speaker 02 No, I just know what a scorpion is.
8:09 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. My rising is Gemini and my moon is Gemini.
8:13 Speaker 02 Okay.
8:14 Speaker 01 So that means I don't come off as a Scorpio at all.
8:17 Speaker 02 Okay, except when you tell people that you have four dates.
8:20 Speaker 01 Well, but I like.
8:22 Speaker 02 That's very Scorpio.
8:23 Speaker 01 But I, I, I. My, I think, okay. I think my main issue with dating is that like my love language is talking shit and gossiping. I can't gossip with someone I barely know.
8:33 Speaker 02 Hmm, I hear you.
8:34 Speaker 01 Do you know what I mean? I can't sit there and talk shit about someone I don't know you.
8:38 Speaker 02 Right.
8:38 Speaker 01 You know?
8:39 Speaker 02 That's tough for you.
8:40 Speaker 01 It's tough. Remember the first time we met?
8:42 Speaker 02 Hmm, no.
8:43 Speaker 01 I do.
8:44 Speaker 02 Where?
8:45 Speaker 01 It was at the SNL After After.
8:48 Speaker 02 I remember now.
8:49 Speaker 01 Yes.
8:49 Speaker 02 Of course, I told you I was a big fan of yours and I wanted to see you.
8:51 Speaker 01 Yes, yes.
8:52 Speaker 02 And then I went to your show.
8:55 Speaker 01 Did you like it?
8:55 Speaker 02 Of course, I texted you.
8:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, but what like, what'd you really think?
9:00 Speaker 02 Jake, you're, you're doing, you're doing something that no one has done, you know what I mean? Like, this is a new thing, is like, the podcaster that has to go and try to do live shows and you have to figure it out as you go. So I recognize that, so I'm not like, what? I've been doing standup for 10 years.
9:18 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:19 Speaker 02 So like, standup, you can't watch me and be like, oh no, and there's been a million standups before me.
9:23 Speaker 01 Right.
9:23 Speaker 02 Like, there's not a million Jake Shanes that you were able to look at for inspiration.
9:28 Speaker 01 Right.
9:28 Speaker 02 You had to figure it out and you've done a great job and your audience likes it, they're having a blast.
9:32 Speaker 01 Did they seem like they were having fun?
9:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, 100%, and you're reading this stuff, it was really fun.
9:36 Speaker 01 What was your favorite part?
9:37 Speaker 02 Um, I liked the, I liked the texts.
9:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:40 Speaker 02 I liked the texts.
9:41 Speaker 01 Good crowd pleaser.
9:42 Speaker 02 You are also like the type of person to go through a text with someone, one by one text by, like you just did with me.
9:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:49 Speaker 02 Like, that's who you are.
9:51 Speaker 01 Right.
9:51 Speaker 02 You go, and then four hours later, I haven't heard back. And then, you know, then you talk about what that means and all that stuff.
9:57 Speaker 01 Oh, speaking of hearing back.
9:59 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
10:00 Speaker 01 Who is it?
10:01 Speaker 02 Um, it's my manager, you know how it is.
10:03 Speaker 01 I know. Oh, yes. Well, you said that, you told me that you had never worked on something as hard as you have, your Netflix special.
10:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:11 Speaker 01 What do you, like, can you expand on that? What do you mean by that?
10:13 Speaker 02 Um, well...
10:15 Speaker 01 God, I'm doing such a bad job at asking questions.
10:17 Speaker 02 I brought you some gifts.
10:18 Speaker 01 Well, I want to hear about the Netflix special first, but then I do want to see the gifts.
10:21 Speaker 02 Can I bring you the gifts? Because I think that you're having trouble listening, you're having a little bit of a time. And I want to give you a gift, I want to, I want to bring the vibe really high.
10:27 Speaker 01 Okay, yes, I love presents. Presents, presents, presents.
10:30 Speaker 02 Okay, presents, I'll be right back, I got you.
10:32 Speaker 01 I'm glad, so many bags!
10:34 Speaker 02 Okay, so I got you a bunch of stuff.
10:37 Speaker 01 Do you, did you do this on every podcast you went on?
10:39 Speaker 02 Um, I, I do like, I don't like to show up empty handed. I always say that.
10:42 Speaker 01 That's very generous.
10:43 Speaker 02 So, first things first, um, this is a sleep mask.
10:47 Speaker 01 Oh my god, wait, I actually love this.
10:50 Speaker 02 I love to sleep with a sleep mask. When we go on the road, some of these hotels, they're not like perfectly blackout. And I think this is gonna help you with that. Um, I brought you some cozy socks.
10:59 Speaker 01 Woo!
11:00 Speaker 02 I think you're gonna like these.
11:01 Speaker 01 Oh my goodness.
11:02 Speaker 02 You can put them on when you're getting your comb on. Um, you seem to be the type of person that I think is, gets very high stressed out.
11:09 Speaker 01 Yes, of course.
11:10 Speaker 02 Stressed out guy.
11:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:11 Speaker 02 And so this is something you can grab on to and squish it. It's a squishy burger. I think that'll help you. And then I got an egg as well, just in case you get sick of one, you know what I mean?
11:21 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I love, okay, goodness.
11:23 Speaker 02 Okay, that one's weird. And then you get sick of it and then you can do this. Is it, is it slimy?
11:27 Speaker 01 It's a little slimy.
11:28 Speaker 02 Okay, okay, I, I got you a candle. This is like, everybody does the same thing with a candle.
11:34 Speaker 01 Where did you go, Marshalls?
11:35 Speaker 02 And then I got you a book. This is a book called The Honeycrisp Orchard and I don't know, I kinda just grabbed one. Um, but it's, um...
11:46 Speaker 01 So what's, what's it about?
11:47 Speaker 02 City life was treating her just fine until a sour turn of events knocks her out in one fail swoop.
11:52 Speaker 01 Wait, a car hit her?
11:53 Speaker 02 I don't know what happened. Um, but you can look at it one day.
11:56 Speaker 01 Okay.
11:57 Speaker 02 And then, um, I got you a...
12:03 Speaker 02 A weighted blanket. This is all from Marshalls. None of this is expensive. Sorry.
12:08 Speaker 01 Wait, no, that, okay.
12:09 Speaker 02 And then this is my favorite one.
12:11 Speaker 01 Okay.
12:11 Speaker 02 I saved it for last.
12:12 Speaker 01 I know, I saw you want to go grab it and then you didn't.
12:14 Speaker 02 I didn't, I didn't. I saved it for last because this, I think is, um, this is something I've been wanting to tell you.
12:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
12:21 Speaker 02 You know, and, um, it's something that I think you need to think about more often. You, I think, I think, and tell me if I'm wrong, do you feel like Jake can be sometimes a person that is always thinking like, what can go wrong?
12:32 Speaker 03 We've been talking about this.
12:33 Speaker 02 You've been talking about this? So, um, I got you this.
12:36 Speaker 01 I already know what it says.
12:37 Speaker 02 I got you this and it is, uh, uh, it says this. What if it all works out, Jake?
12:44 Speaker 01 So did you?
12:45 Speaker 02 Jake, what if it all works out?
12:47 Speaker 01 What if it doesn't?
12:47 Speaker 02 You need to put this in your room. You need to put this in your room and you need to see it every day.
12:51 Speaker 01 Okay, honestly, you know what? I will.
12:53 Speaker 02 Okay, great.
12:56 Speaker 02 Mission accomplished.
12:57 Speaker 01 Thank you so much.
12:57 Speaker 02 I got you a bunch of kids.
12:58 Speaker 01 Of course. Thank you.
13:00 Speaker 02 Listen.
13:00 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I've never had somebody bring me so many gifts.
13:03 Speaker 02 That's.
13:03 Speaker 01 You must be so good at Christmas time.
13:05 Speaker 02 Um, I do like to be Christmas guy.
13:07 Speaker 01 You are?
13:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, I am, I am.
13:09 Speaker 01 What was your favorite Christmas you've ever had, ever?
13:11 Speaker 02 Oh, I don't know. I definitely like Christmas better now because I have money and I can give stuff to people.
13:15 Speaker 01 Okay.
13:16 Speaker 02 For a long time, I was just the receiving guy. And I like better to be the one that is making stuff happen.
13:21 Speaker 01 Really?
13:22 Speaker 02 My mom loves the real, real.
13:23 Speaker 01 I love the real, real.
13:24 Speaker 02 She loves the real, real and she saves stuff on the real, real. And then on Christmas, I ask my sister to get in there and tell me what my mom saved. And then I buy it and then my mom will like call my sister and be like, some bitch bought the boots.
13:35 Speaker 01 Hey, yeah.
13:36 Speaker 02 And, uh, and then I give her the boots on Christmas and she goes, you're the bitch. And, um, that's been a fun, that's fun.
13:42 Speaker 01 Your mom seems awesome. Did she love your stand-up special?
13:45 Speaker 02 She's the best. I think she loves it. I think she's watched me talk about her so much, but I think she loves it. I think she's proud of me and I'm proud of her.
13:53 Speaker 01 Oh, what was the first time she ever saw you do stand-up about her?
13:58 Speaker 02 Um, I don't know. I've always had her somehow in the set. So probably from the beginning, since I was 18. Um, and, uh, I try to make her look good as well, but I also want to like get this stuff off my chest, you know?
14:11 Speaker 01 No, I mean, you, you, and you did.
14:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:14 Speaker 01 You did.
14:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:15 Speaker 01 What was your favorite bit that you do in your Netflix special?
14:18 Speaker 02 Hmm, I like the ending.
14:20 Speaker 01 Ending's great.
14:21 Speaker 02 I think stick around for the ending.
14:22 Speaker 01 The ending's amazing.
14:23 Speaker 02 The ending, uh, when I came up with that, I was like, um, I was really proud of, uh, myself for the.
14:29 Speaker 01 How do you come up with all of it and connect it all as one cohesive story?
14:34 Speaker 02 It takes a lot of just like looking at it. I have, um, transcriptions. So I get it all transcribed and then I read it, you know, I try to like look at how we can connect something to something else. My assistant, Marty, who was a co-producer on the special, she has been so helpful with me and like walking through stuff and like if I can't figure out how to connect something together, we sit down and we talk about it. I think you have to find, you have to not be afraid to invite people in a little bit. Ultimately, everything is your choice, but like invite people in, you're great at that. When I went to your show, he had a full, it, it looked like a bachelorette party. He has all these girls in the back and they're all talking about what he's gonna do and what you're gonna do and what you're gonna say. And I think it's really, it's good.
15:17 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, you said, you said it was like a family reunion.
15:19 Speaker 02 It's, yes, you have literally a family reunion at your shows. Is that every show?
15:23 Speaker 01 No, Radio City was a lot.
15:25 Speaker 02 That's a lot.
15:25 Speaker 01 Did you come out after with me?
15:27 Speaker 02 No, no, no.
15:27 Speaker 01 No, you didn't. Oh, I blacked out.
15:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. I could feel you. I could feel that this was like a thing for you.
15:34 Speaker 01 Oh, I was ready to get messy.
15:35 Speaker 02 It was, yeah, you were ready to get messy.
15:37 Speaker 01 And then we went to Atlantic City the next night.
15:39 Speaker 02 Oh, my god.
15:39 Speaker 01 I know. Well, I had four shows in a row. I did DC, New York, Atlantic City, went out after Atlantic City, and then had to fly in a seaplane to Boston.
15:48 Speaker 02 Wow.
15:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:50 Speaker 02 You're living it up, man.
15:51 Speaker 01 No, a seaplane?
15:52 Speaker 02 What? What's wrong with that?
15:54 Speaker 01 I was supposed to-
15:55 Speaker 02 It's exclusive. It's only a few people, yes?
15:57 Speaker 01 It was, it flies so low to the ground that you don't need to put on airplane mode. Like, that's-
16:03 Speaker 02 Okay, that's funny.
16:04 Speaker 01 Like, I had, we were supposed to drive there, but we missed our car.
16:10 Speaker 02 Right. And that's crazy to miss a car, because a car isn't like a plane where it's like, last call, it's a car.
16:16 Speaker 01 Well, no, no, no. What happened was, I was supposed to wake up at seven and I woke up at 11.
16:20 Speaker 02 That's why, to miss a car, you really gotta miss that guy.
16:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, I missed it. And then the only way to get to Boston in time for the meet and greet and the show was by seaplane. Well, actually, Zach, my manager said, "I got you a plane."
16:32 Speaker 02 That's sweet.
16:33 Speaker 01 And I said, "Okay, cool."
16:34 Speaker 02 Let me ask you this, because obviously, we're all very proud of you. You've been killing it.
16:39 Speaker 01 No, I'm proud of you.
16:40 Speaker 02 You have a new set. You're moving on up.
16:42 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
16:42 Speaker 02 It's great. Where were you before? Like, before we all got to know you, like, right before you were starting to make these videos of like, do, you know?
16:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the POVs.
16:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, the POVs. What, um, sorry, I was about to try to say one.
16:58 Speaker 01 No, no.
16:59 Speaker 02 Where were you? What were you doing? What was the transition for you between, and I'm sure this is like a-
17:04 Speaker 01 No, so I actually never get tired of telling the story, so thank you so much for asking. I worked at a record label, and my boss at the time became my manager.
17:14 Speaker 02 Got it. What were you doing at the record label?
17:16 Speaker 01 I did international marketing.
17:18 Speaker 02 Right.
17:18 Speaker 01 So like if a song was popping off in Germany, like I would like, like, look at the data and like, have them put spend behind marketing in Germany for the song. And then I became an assistant to this guy Zach, who's now my manager.
17:32 Speaker 02 Wow.
17:33 Speaker 01 I was really bad.
17:34 Speaker 02 At the job?
17:35 Speaker 01 Horrible.
17:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:36 Speaker 01 I was personality hire, he says.
17:37 Speaker 02 That's, makes sense.
17:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:39 Speaker 02 I think you still are.
17:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think so too.
17:41 Speaker 02 This is the ultimate personality.
17:42 Speaker 01 I think so too.
17:43 Speaker 02 I'm a personality hire for sure.
17:45 Speaker 01 You feel that way?
17:46 Speaker 02 A hundred percent.
17:46 Speaker 01 You had a lot of jobs before you started working at SNL.
17:49 Speaker 02 A bunch.
17:49 Speaker 01 What were, you said you would sell?
17:51 Speaker 02 I sold tickets on the street.
17:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:53 Speaker 02 Um, I used to sell electricity. I used to go door to door in Brooklyn and stuff and ask people to give me their electric bill.
18:00 Speaker 01 Would they be like, go get fucked?
18:01 Speaker 02 A hundred percent.
18:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:02 Speaker 02 Every time, a hundred percent of the time. Um, but there was one girl that was like really good at it. And I think she thought I was like cute and uh, she took me to Gucci and she bought herself a belt. And she asked me if I wanted anything. And I was like,
18:14 Speaker 01 Shut up.
18:15 Speaker 02 I swear. And I was like, no, I'm okay.
18:16 Speaker 01 You sat down?
18:17 Speaker 02 No, of course not. It felt so weird. Um, I also wasn't like into her or anything.
18:21 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. It felt transactional.
18:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, it felt transactional. And um, but it was like, it was very weird. And then um, I was also an intern at a comedy club. I used to like run food and clean the floor or whatever after the show. Um, and I also sold medications. I used to have a headset on during the pand-
18:40 Speaker 01 What did you sell?
18:41 Speaker 02 During the pandemic, I used to sell like gabapentin and stuff, but-
18:43 Speaker 01 I love gabapentin. I love gabapentin. You sold that?
18:47 Speaker 02 I didn't sell the medication, but I would get it delivered to your house.
18:50 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
18:51 Speaker 02 I'd get it delivered to your house at no additional cost to your insurance.
18:53 Speaker 01 Oh, really?
18:54 Speaker 02 Of course.
18:54 Speaker 01 So what's the upside?
18:56 Speaker 02 The upside is that you don't have to go to CVS and it's the pandemic and you're over sixty-five. And I think that this is a time right now when people, with everything that's going on, that's what they said, we couldn't mention COVID. You had to say with everything that's going on.
19:06 Speaker 01 Why couldn't you mention COVID?
19:06 Speaker 02 Cause it's illegal, kind of. It sounds threatening. It's like, you're gonna die. So,
19:10 Speaker 01 Right, okay.
19:10 Speaker 02 I would be like, with everything that's going on, I think that it would be beneficial maybe for you to have these things delivered to your house. And we can do it in a temperature controlled case, directly to your house, at no additional cost to your insurance. And you can give us some instructions if, let's say that the mailbox is a few minutes away from your house. We can make sure that this is put there at a secure place, so that you know and we know, but nobody else does. Or if there's a dog or something like that, you're gonna wanna tell us that, so that we can make sure that you get your medications and that you don't miss out on something as important as your-
19:34 Speaker 01 Medication, gabapentin.
19:35 Speaker 02 Gabapentin, yeah.
19:37 Speaker 01 Wow, and was that your favorite job?
19:38 Speaker 02 No.
19:39 Speaker 01 Okay.
19:39 Speaker 02 No.
19:40 Speaker 01 And so when did you start, like, okay, so?
19:42 Speaker 02 That's when I started making videos, when I was doing that.
19:44 Speaker 01 Okay, cuz you, I recently just saw these videos, and they were like Miami weekend recaps that you would do. And it was like, you would do these like quick five second soundbites of what happened in Miami that weekend. Is that what led you to SNL?
19:58 Speaker 02 Kind of, that was like the first step, that's what got me to move out of my house. It's cuz I was making these out of my mom's, my dad's house, cuz I moved from my mom's to my dad's during the pandemic. Cuz I was scared that my mom and my sister were gonna die, and I started to get really scary. I was like spraying them down, and I was making them get naked when they get back from the supermarket, throwing the clothes in the wash.
20:12 Speaker 01 Well, you guys were in Miami too, so like?
20:14 Speaker 02 Nobody cared.
20:15 Speaker 01 Nobody cared.
20:16 Speaker 02 And I was coming from New York where there were like people.
20:18 Speaker 01 I mean, I was, didn't.
20:19 Speaker 02 Dying in the streets, so I was freaking out. Um, and, uh, I was at my dad's house, and so I would wake up before the job, I would write, and then after the job, I would go to my friend's house. I would hang out with him, I would tell him the stuff I had written, and then at the end of the week, I would film whatever our favorite idea was. And then like after my fourth or fifth one, this account reached out and asked me to make little videos for them.
20:37 Speaker 01 And they paid you?
20:38 Speaker 02 They paid me, and then after like a few months of doing that, I was like, you need to give me, you know, 500 bucks a week so that I can quit my headset job and do this full time. And then he was like, you need to get more responsibility, so then I became like the creative director of the account. And then I did that until SNL, pretty much.
20:55 Speaker 01 How did SNL come about?
20:57 Speaker 02 Um, so when I was doing that stuff in Miami, this guy from, this guy Tim Dillon, you know Tim Dillon?
21:01 Speaker 01 Yes.
21:01 Speaker 02 So he had me, um, well, I asked him if I could open for him in Miami cuz I was like thinking I was starting to make waves in Miami. And he said he didn't care if I did or I didn't. So I grabbed my phone, that's it.
21:12 Speaker 01 Wait, what?
21:13 Speaker 02 I said, can I open for you? And he said, I don't care. He actually said, I don't give a fuck.
21:16 Speaker 01 Wait, so, but was he serious?
21:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, I guess. I think he was just like, you know, he's, it's also comedian to comedian, he's being funny. And so I grabbed the phone, I took it to the club, and I was like, he doesn't give a fuck, can I please do it? And then they were like, sure.
21:28 Speaker 01 Oh, oh, it was like that?
21:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, and then they said yes, and then after the show, um, he invited me to go on the road with him. So I went on the road with him, and he introduced me to CAA, and like after I was on the road with him, I started getting on the road with other comedians as well. Gilbert Gottfried, Mark Viera. On the road with them and then um C A A had signed me and then I was he told me that if I Tim Dillon told me if I didn't move back to New York. Uh he would fire me basically because he wanted someone that was working every night in the clubs in New York. So I got like a friend of mine that was moving out there to let me live with him for like a little bit of money because he was doing. He has too much money and I didn't have any money, so he let me like pay him.
22:05 Speaker 01 What neighborhood were you?
22:06 Speaker 02 We were in Union Square.
22:08 Speaker 01 Okay, I grew up in New York.
22:09 Speaker 02 Nice. Well, before the pandemic, I had moved to New York. I was in Bushwick first, then I was in the Lower East Side in this guy's apartment, this bald guy. And he used to drink half a beer and put it back in the fridge.
22:18 Speaker 01 Ew.
22:19 Speaker 02 Very interesting. And then um the the pandemic, I had to move back into my parents' house in Miami and then. I moved back to New York with my buddy and then I was doing stand up every night. I was hosting and all this stuff. And Just for Laughs is this big festival in Canada where a lot of people get discovered and um I got the audition for that. And so I auditioned for J F L and then I went to Canada. I got it. And then in Canada, after I did the six minutes, my agent Erica Lancaster, who is from C A A, who used to work at S and L. Was like, I'm gonna introduce you to them. And she introduced me to the people from S and L and then they invited me to do the audition process.
22:53 Speaker 01 Wow. And so what's the worst you've ever bombed?
22:55 Speaker 02 There's a few. There's probably a bunch of them. I'm good at blocking it out immediately. It's like a sports thing. Like when you have the worst game of your life, you have to forget it immediately. And so I forget it immediately.
23:05 Speaker 01 Like you played soccer when you were a kid, right?
23:07 Speaker 02 And in college.
23:08 Speaker 01 Oh, right.
23:12 Speaker 01 Where'd you go to college again?
23:14 Speaker 02 I love this because there's nothing there.
23:16 Speaker 01 I know. I know. I know. I do.
23:21 Speaker 02 I do love it. Um.
23:22 Speaker 01 My friends, oh, my my friends were, do you still, does your mom still live in Miami?
23:26 Speaker 02 Yes.
23:26 Speaker 01 My friends were just there for New Year's.
23:28 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, it's fun.
23:31 Speaker 01 Thank you, SeatGeek, again for sponsoring today's episode. Okay, so at this point, I am a week into Broadway. So if you want to come see me in All Out, a comedy about ambition at the Nederlander Theater. You can use my code therapist for 10% off your order at SeatGeek.com. You can literally see anything on SeatGeek, any live events, sporting, comedy, live music, and Broadway.
23:54 Speaker 01 I am also just like so excited about all the shows that I'm planning on seeing. Robin just announced a tour and I'm like so excited to scream dancing on my own live. I've never done it before. I mean, I've obviously done it out on a night, but I've never done it sung by Robin. So I am very excited. I'm going to use SeatGeek to get tickets to that. And then Lady Gaga is still on tour. BTS is on tour. Alex Warren is also going on tour. Like, there are just so many amazing people to see right now and SeatGeek is the place to get the tickets to see everyone. It is also basketball season. If you want to see a basketball game. Also, as always, a comedy show. Once again, you can use code THERAPIST for 10% off.
24:37 Speaker 01 And if you click the link in the description to download the app, it will automatically add the code THERAPIST to your account for 10% off. I must reiterate, winter is ending. We have to leave the house. We have to leave the house. We need to go outside and we need to go to live events. Thank you again, SeatGeek, for sponsoring today's episode.
24:55 Speaker 01 What are you therapist about today?
24:56 Speaker 02 What am I therapist about? Nobody told me that I should have something to be therapist about. I'm looking at-
25:02 Speaker 01 Do you want me to go first?
25:03 Speaker 02 Oh, please.
25:04 Speaker 01 Okay, so I'm therapist about a few things.
25:08 Speaker 02 Right.
25:09 Speaker 01 Okay, my one thing is that the guy hasn't texted me back that I'm supposed to go on a date with later. I'm therapist about that. I'm therapist about the fact that I had a dream last night where my teeth were getting pulled. And when they were getting pulled, there was a string attached to the tooth that was like they had to cut off. And so I woke up like this. At three, I woke up at one and then I woke up at three and then I woke up at six. From each from a nightmare, different nightmare. And the one with the teeth pulling was just the worst. And so that set my day off horribly.
25:39 Speaker 02 Right.
25:40 Speaker 01 And then I, I, I have to pee a lot.
25:45 Speaker 02 Right.
25:45 Speaker 01 Like in 10 minutes, I'm gonna have to go pee.
25:47 Speaker 02 So should we work on your diet?
25:49 Speaker 01 I have been.
25:51 Speaker 02 What are you eating?
25:51 Speaker 01 I had lamb chops last night.
25:53 Speaker 02 That's not good.
25:53 Speaker 01 What?
25:55 Speaker 02 It's not, that's heavy.
25:56 Speaker 01 What do you eat?
25:57 Speaker 02 I mean, I don't know. I try to eat like sushi as much as I can.
26:00 Speaker 01 Well, that's where my date is supposed to be tonight. So, thanks for bringing that one up.
26:05 Speaker 02 Bring it right back to that. No, I don't know. I eat chicken and rice all the time.
26:09 Speaker 01 Oh, every guy I've ever met, all they eat, chicken and rice.
26:12 Speaker 02 That's it.
26:12 Speaker 01 Chicken and rice.
26:13 Speaker 02 I just order chicken and rice.
26:15 Speaker 01 From where?
26:15 Speaker 02 From anywhere. Japanese places have a lot of chicken and rice. I have a Latin place next to my place in New York that they bring it to me and it's great.
26:22 Speaker 01 Ooh.
26:23 Speaker 02 But yeah, chicken and rice feels safe. And rice is what they tell you to eat when your body is like not dealing well with other foods. Or when like-
26:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, the BRAT diet.
26:30 Speaker 02 The BRAT diet. So I try to, I try to do that. I try to do a lot of rice. I'm trying to leave rice. I'm trying to do chicken and like greens. But I just can't. It's just so boring.
26:38 Speaker 01 It's so boring.
26:39 Speaker 02 I get so bored.
26:39 Speaker 01 My favorite thing about rice is when you, it's like, it, it, I describe it as like an empty canvas and you can paint it with sauce. And it soaks up all the sauce.
26:48 Speaker 02 Interesting.
26:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:50 Speaker 02 Do you like, um, what do you, what's the wet rice?
26:52 Speaker 01 What?
26:53 Speaker 02 The wet rice.
26:55 Speaker 01 What?
26:56 Speaker 02 Um, the wet, it's a dish. Everybody eats it. The wet rice. It's like a saucy rice.
27:01 Speaker 01 Risotto?
27:02 Speaker 02 Yes.
27:03 Speaker 01 Oh my god. That's what you were referring to?
27:06 Speaker 02 That's what I was referring to.
27:06 Speaker 01 It's pasta. That's pasta.
27:08 Speaker 02 Oh, that's pasta, but it's rice.
27:09 Speaker 01 It's in the class of pasta.
27:11 Speaker 02 Cause they put, cause it's full of sauce?
27:14 Speaker 01 I don't know.
27:15 Speaker 02 Well then, you just said it's in the class.
27:17 Speaker 01 Cause it's like-
27:17 Speaker 02 Who else is in the class?
27:18 Speaker 01 Like if I'm like going at an Italian restaurant, it's like pa- a pasta. And then under pasta is risotto.
27:23 Speaker 02 Is that true?
27:24 Speaker 01 Yes.
27:25 Speaker 02 Okay. What's something like you wonder about straight men?
27:28 Speaker 01 I wonder what it feels like to have sex with a vagina.
27:33 Speaker 02 Right.
27:34 Speaker 01 I heard somebody said once that it feels like you're sticking your dick in a warm hot tub.
27:38 Speaker 02 Right.
27:40 Speaker 02 Do you have any other?
27:41 Speaker 01 I just heard whoever out there agree with me, by the way. I just heard whoever out there said. I heard him say, "Damn."
27:50 Speaker 02 Alright, so that answers your question. What else?
27:53 Speaker 01 Is that what it feels like?
27:54 Speaker 02 Damn. What else you got?
27:56 Speaker 01 I don't know. Like, what, straight guys, what else do I have to ask you about?
28:00 Speaker 02 I don't know, yeah.
28:00 Speaker 01 Do you feel blessed that your metabolism is fast?
28:02 Speaker 02 Oh my god. You think gay guys have a slower metabolism?
28:05 Speaker 01 Well, I'm, I think I'm the only one. So, I'm, yeah.
28:10 Speaker 02 I don't know. I think our metabolism is the same. I think we need to get you off lamb chops. I think we need to get you on like a lighter, you need to eat lighter foods. Feel light. Feel fast.
28:20 Speaker 01 Okay, so like what?
28:21 Speaker 02 Like, you can, like, before soccer games, you do carbs, you have a little bit of pasta, and have a little protein, and then you're good to go. I want you to stay light.
28:31 Speaker 01 Do I look like I lost weight to you?
28:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:33 Speaker 01 Shut up.
28:33 Speaker 02 Hundred percent.
28:34 Speaker 01 Swear?
28:35 Speaker 02 And I, and I know you, so I know that you've been working on it, and I, when I met you, it was before you started working on it, so there's results.
28:43 Speaker 01 Okay.
28:43 Speaker 02 You're getting results.
28:44 Speaker 01 I'm so excited for your premiere tomorrow night.
28:46 Speaker 02 I know, you're coming.
28:47 Speaker 01 I'm gonna get tipsy.
28:48 Speaker 02 Let's do it.
28:48 Speaker 01 Are we gonna get drunk?
28:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, we have a little after-party too.
28:51 Speaker 01 Oh, well, that's why, I heard.
28:53 Speaker 02 Come on, let's have some fun.
28:54 Speaker 01 Okay.
28:55 Speaker 02 I'm only in L.A. for a little bit, so we gotta do it.
28:56 Speaker 01 I know, you tried to get me to come out the other night.
28:58 Speaker 02 I know, and you, and getting Jake to go out is so funny, because he, he has never said no to me once. He never says no. He'll never say no. Instead, he'll go, "Okay, yeah, okay, yeah." And then, and I don't hear from him until the next day at 5:00 P.M.
29:13 Speaker 01 I, that actually is exactly what happened.
29:15 Speaker 02 That's what you do.
29:16 Speaker 01 Well, that is what I do. I do, I don't say no. I say, like, if somebody were to ask me, like, like, if she'll ask me a question, Louise will ask me, I'll say, "Oh, just give me the night, I'll think about it."
29:24 Speaker 02 Right, you never say no.
29:26 Speaker 01 Never.
29:26 Speaker 02 Maybe we gotta work on that. Maybe you should say no more. No is liberating.
29:29 Speaker 01 I don't like saying no.
29:30 Speaker 02 No, I can't.
29:31 Speaker 01 I can't.
29:32 Speaker 02 No, I'm sorry, I can't.
29:33 Speaker 01 Oh, but I was in bed.
29:34 Speaker 02 And then, a guy like you will go, "No, I'm sorry, I can't, I love you."
29:37 Speaker 01 But I told you, I was like, "I'm in bed," and you were like, "Get out of bed."
29:39 Speaker 02 How many, yeah, of course. What, it was 6:00 P.M. It's like, what? How many people, did you say "I love you" to everybody?
29:46 Speaker 01 Every single person. And they all, and people, if they don't feel comfortable, say, "Yeah, you didn't say it back to me." You said, "Alright, buddy, love."
29:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, it, it just, it, it felt, it feels fast.
29:56 Speaker 01 But I do love you.
29:57 Speaker 02 I know, but I, I, you know, I think, uh, you gotta put some, you gotta start to put some weight on that.
30:02 Speaker 01 I say I love you to everyone. I say I love you to my barista every morning, Taylor. Hi, Taylor.
30:07 Speaker 02 Hi, Taylor, love you.
30:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, she writes on my coffee every morning.
30:09 Speaker 02 Does she, does she say love you too?
30:11 Speaker 01 Yes.
30:11 Speaker 02 Okay, that's sweet.
30:12 Speaker 01 And if they, if they don't feel comfortable saying it back, they go, love.
30:15 Speaker 02 How long, that's what I did. How long have you known her, your barista?
30:18 Speaker 01 A year.
30:18 Speaker 02 Okay. That's a long time.
30:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's everything. We have each other's numbers, we text.
30:22 Speaker 02 Okay, so that's someone you love?
30:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, I have your number.
30:25 Speaker 02 Who's someone that, yeah, yeah. Who's someone, who's someone, um, when do you, when is it too soon to say I love you?
30:31 Speaker 01 I say it as like word, I just say it. Like, that's my version. Goodbye, love you.
30:36 Speaker 02 And so, let's say that I'm one of the three men you're going on a date with this week, and I'm watching this.
30:40 Speaker 01 Oh, no, I've, I've done that before by accident. And I'm like, I did not mean that.
30:44 Speaker 02 Got it.
30:45 Speaker 01 I did not mean that.
30:46 Speaker 02 So it does mean something.
30:49 Speaker 01 I guess.
30:51 Speaker 02 When? Do you have a different thing that you say to people that you like, really like?
30:54 Speaker 01 I think, oh my God, I hope I get a boyfriend this year now that I'm thinking about it.
30:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:59 Speaker 01 I really, I really hope I do.
31:00 Speaker 02 Why do you want a boyfriend so bad? What are you, what are you guys, like, what is the, the thing that you wanna do with a boyfriend that you can't do now?
31:07 Speaker 01 I wanna binge watch television with someone and then like, be able to have sex in the middle between episodes.
31:12 Speaker 02 Wow. That's beautiful. By the way, that's beautiful. That might be one of the most relatable things you've ever said.
31:18 Speaker 01 That's like what I want to do. That's why I want a boyfriend. I'm like sitting there, and like sometimes I'm watching TV and I'm like, oh my God, wouldn't it be so nice if I was laying on someone's chest right now?
31:27 Speaker 02 Of course.
31:28 Speaker 01 Or I was making out with someone?
31:29 Speaker 02 Of course.
31:30 Speaker 01 Have you ever seen Homeland?
31:31 Speaker 02 Um, not yet, no, I haven't seen it.
31:33 Speaker 01 Oh my God, strap in.
31:35 Speaker 02 Why?
31:35 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
31:36 Speaker 02 Yeah?
31:36 Speaker 01 I'm on season six.
31:37 Speaker 02 Have you seen Pluribus?
31:38 Speaker 01 It was, it was a lot of world building, and I'm just, I, I knew I was too stupid.
31:42 Speaker 02 Got it.
31:43 Speaker 01 I was like, you know what? I'm too stupid.
31:44 Speaker 02 Interesting.
31:45 Speaker 01 It was like giving the same amount of, do you watch Pluribus?
31:47 Speaker 02 Of course.
31:48 Speaker 01 You finish? What'd you think? I had Brett spoil the ending for me.
31:51 Speaker 02 Um.
31:52 Speaker 01 Sorry.
31:53 Speaker 02 Um, no. That's not the ending, but um, I loved it. I think it's just uh, it's just crazy and it's like in the bright, in the Breaking Bad vibe.
32:04 Speaker 01 Well, I love Breaking Bad.
32:05 Speaker 02 Also, when, when we were watching it, all I could think of is the, like, the weird shots that they do, like to transition between scenes. It's like, that guy is really amazing. The guy that made that show.
32:19 Speaker 01 I love when people think about stuff like that.
32:21 Speaker 02 Cause it's really sick. Like if you, uh, I, I'm the guy now that I'm like rewinding to see the creative little touch that they did. Like, there's one thing where like someone gets hurt and there's like blood and then you like in your head, all, the first thing you think of when someone gets hurt is blood. And then the next scene is someone making like a pink lemonade and the powder that they put in is red. And then when it's mixed with water, it make the water look like it was blood. And then you find out when it pulls out that she was just making like a lemonade.
32:55 Speaker 01 What?
32:58 Speaker 01 Wait, what?
32:59 Speaker 02 Did you hear what I said?
33:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, I heard what you said.
33:02 Speaker 02 Where were you when I was talking?
33:04 Speaker 01 I was thinking about how, how funny, how funny it was when I asked you what it was like to have sex with the vagina. And your friend out there said, damn.
33:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, okay.
33:13 Speaker 01 That's what I was thinking about.
33:14 Speaker 02 Fair enough. I said something that made sense.
33:16 Speaker 01 You said that she got hurt, there was blood, and then the following scene, there was red blood lemonade.
33:20 Speaker 02 Exactly. Isn't that interesting to you?
33:23 Speaker 01 No.
33:24 Speaker 02 Okay, fine.
33:26 Speaker 01 What else are you watching?
33:26 Speaker 02 Oh. Uh.
33:29 Speaker 01 Is this your least favorite podcast you've done this week?
33:31 Speaker 02 No.
33:32 Speaker 01 Okay, awesome.
33:33 Speaker 02 But I also know you and like you. It's hard for you to piss me off.
33:36 Speaker 01 And love me.
33:36 Speaker 02 I can't get there pissed about this.
33:38 Speaker 01 Okay.
33:39 Speaker 02 You know what I'm therapist about?
33:40 Speaker 01 What?
33:40 Speaker 02 I'm therapist about when you have a great night.
33:44 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
33:45 Speaker 02 You have a fun night. You have a few drinks. You have the time of your life. You truly enjoy it. And why is it that the next day has to be so bad?
33:53 Speaker 01 Oh my god, you think that?
33:54 Speaker 02 Do you know what I mean?
33:55 Speaker 01 You don't.
33:56 Speaker 02 You don't get hungover?
33:56 Speaker 01 I do, but.
33:57 Speaker 02 You don't get anxiety?
33:58 Speaker 01 Oh, well, I do.
33:59 Speaker 02 You know?
33:59 Speaker 01 But you, you, you, you, you need to know how to do it right.
34:02 Speaker 02 Is that just the price that I pay?
34:04 Speaker 01 You don't, you don't have like a routine, you don't lay in bed, watch television, smoke, well, you don't smoke anymore. Smoke a joint, order food, maybe get an IV.
34:12 Speaker 02 You just, I have to work.
34:14 Speaker 01 Well, I don't drink on the weekdays.
34:16 Speaker 02 Never.
34:17 Speaker 01 I try not to.
34:17 Speaker 02 What if you had a big, this is a special occasion, I mean.
34:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, then that sucks.
34:21 Speaker 02 Right?
34:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:22 Speaker 02 It's just the price you pay, I guess, for having fun, is you have to have a horrible day.
34:25 Speaker 01 Are you hungover right now? Is that why you bring that up?
34:27 Speaker 02 No, no, but it happened, um, after the Critics' Choice Awards, I went out with my friends.
34:31 Speaker 01 I know, I got the call.
34:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:33 Speaker 01 Oh my god, did I miss such a fun night?
34:34 Speaker 02 It was so fun.
34:36 Speaker 01 Fuck, what did you guys do?
34:37 Speaker 02 We went to Chateau and we just talked and had a blast.
34:41 Speaker 01 You told me you were going to the one!
34:42 Speaker 02 And Alexander Skarsgård was there.
34:43 Speaker 01 Shut up!
34:47 Speaker 01 What?
34:47 Speaker 02 Yes, and you could have met him.
34:49 Speaker 01 And he was drinking with you guys?
34:51 Speaker 02 He was having fun, he was right by us, yeah. I got to talk, I got to talk to him, got to talk to his dad.
34:55 Speaker 01 Have you been watching all the Oscar noms?
34:57 Speaker 02 Um, no, I, I haven't.
34:59 Speaker 01 You haven't seen any?
35:00 Speaker 02 No, but I, I, it's exciting to me to see people, you know, be rewarded for the stuff that they do.
35:04 Speaker 01 Have you seen one battle after another?
35:05 Speaker 02 No, I'm dying to see it. I got to share like a little moment with Leo at the Critics' Choice Awards.
35:09 Speaker 01 What was the little moment?
35:10 Speaker 02 He was like, he was like looking at some papers, because I think he was gonna present or something. Um, and, uh, I just got to be like, hey, man, and we met, we had met one time before, and, um, he's just, he's cool.
35:21 Speaker 01 He seems it.
35:22 Speaker 02 He's very like a cool guy, and I've, all I've heard about him is that he's just a tremendously hard worker, and he loves his mom, and he, you know, hangs out with his mom, and I got a lot of respect for that guy.
35:32 Speaker 01 Did you bring your mom to the Critics' Choice Awards?
35:33 Speaker 02 Eh, no, she couldn't come, she's working. My mom is like a workhorse.
35:37 Speaker 01 What does she do?
35:37 Speaker 02 What is your mom like?
35:39 Speaker 01 Um, me, she's like me.
35:40 Speaker 02 She's you.
35:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, think, I always say, think about who could have made me.
35:44 Speaker 02 Right.
35:45 Speaker 01 Yeah. What does your mom do?
35:46 Speaker 02 My mom, uh, she works for a Belgian company, it's like, um, she does sales at a Belgian company, and ever since I was a kid, she'd be like up at 4am, because this is the time difference.
35:55 Speaker 01 Right.
35:56 Speaker 02 And then I would wake up at like 7:30, 7:45, and I'd be angry, and she'd be like, you got no idea what it is, you know what I mean?
36:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:02 Speaker 02 Um, but she's just, uh, you have never met her?
36:06 Speaker 01 No, I've
36:06 Speaker 02 She'd love you, dude.
36:07 Speaker 01 I, you know what? I think we would get along really well.
36:10 Speaker 02 I know.
36:11 Speaker 01 Because she likes to go to the mall for 10 hours.
36:12 Speaker 02 She likes to go to the mall for 10 hours? She likes to, and not anymore. She used to, not anymore. Now she's like, online. She's, she loves to be online. And, uh, but she'd invite you to drink wine. She'd invite you to come over. She'd tell you, you have to stay with her. She goes, stay with me.
36:25 Speaker 01 Oh my God, I hate being alone.
36:26 Speaker 02 She would love it. She would love it. You have to come meet her. You have to go to Miami.
36:29 Speaker 01 I know.
36:30 Speaker 02 Let me show you.
36:31 Speaker 01 I would like that. Cause last time I was in Miami, I was like, I can't do this ever again.
36:35 Speaker 02 No.
36:35 Speaker 01 It's just intense. It's intense. There's like 24 hour clubs. There's multiple 24 hour clubs.
36:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:42 Speaker 01 My friends went to the club at 7 a.m. the other night.
36:44 Speaker 02 To space.
36:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
36:45 Speaker 02 Of course.
36:46 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. So are you planning on getting drunk for the after party?
36:48 Speaker 02 Um, I wanna have a couple of drinks. Sure, yeah.
36:53 Speaker 02 What does a guy like you do with money?
36:54 Speaker 01 Um, I don't spend it. I'm Jewish.
36:57 Speaker 02 And so you don't spend? What's your, what's your, what do you spend?
36:59 Speaker 01 Well, no, I do spend. I, I, I go, hmm, what would you say I spend on, Louise? Clothes.
37:05 Speaker 02 Clothes.
37:05 Speaker 01 Clothes and travel. Like, I like
37:07 Speaker 02 You gotta travel well.
37:08 Speaker 01 I do, and I do. And if you ever want, like, I, I am a masterclass in, like, convenience is key.
37:15 Speaker 02 Right.
37:16 Speaker 01 Do you know there is a service that I just discovered today? That the second you land, you get off the plane and they just drive you home?
37:24 Speaker 02 From the plane?
37:25 Speaker 01 Yep.
37:26 Speaker 02 And what's the service?
37:27 Speaker 01 Delta VIP.
37:28 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, man. I've done that before, yeah.
37:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:31 Speaker 02 But they don't take me home, they take me to my car.
37:33 Speaker 01 Well, that's what I meant.
37:36 Speaker 02 Um, how do I spend my money? I like, lately, I think it's been like, um, I just love the take, being with my friends and covering it. I need to stop doing that, but, um, I've had, I've had plenty of conversations about this that I need to like chill about it.
37:53 Speaker 01 You like doing that?
37:54 Speaker 02 But I just do like, like, taking care of it. But I'm getting better about it, cause it's, it's a lot of money. You have to like
38:02 Speaker 01 I'm chill. Hold on.
38:04 Speaker 02 What? What are you about to do?
38:06 Speaker 01 Call Payton.
38:07 Speaker 02 Can I guess what the call is? This is a call where Payton tells me that you have never paid for anything for them in their entire life.
38:15 Speaker 01 Hi, I'm with Marcelo, we're doing therapists. Guess what, I said, we're talking about how, like, first of all, say hi.
38:22 Speaker 03 Hi.
38:22 Speaker 02 Hello Peyton.
38:23 Speaker 01 He's, he said, she says miss you.
38:26 Speaker 02 Oh, I miss you too.
38:27 Speaker 01 He said, I said, what, he's like, how do you like to spend your money? I said, on clothes, whatever, I said, how do you?
38:31 Speaker 03 Or not at all.
38:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, or that, and then I said, how do you like to spend your money? You'll ne- you'll never guess his answer.
38:38 Speaker 03 Am I supposed to guess?
38:39 Speaker 01 No, he says he likes to pay for his friends.
38:42 Speaker 03 Cool, I want you to get a notebook, get a pen, and take notes.
38:50 Speaker 02 But Peyton, I need to work on that, because my friends will love me either way, right?
38:54 Speaker 03 Like, yeah, but would I love if Jake, like, brought me on a date, like, every once, every three years? Yeah.
39:01 Speaker 02 Jake.
39:02 Speaker 01 I know, it's bad.
39:03 Speaker 02 You gotta do better.
39:03 Speaker 01 Well, I did, I did, Peyton was just, I want a vacation from hell, and I did offer to pay for her room, which I didn't do.
39:09 Speaker 02 Okay, but, but.
39:11 Speaker 03 Of course you didn't, however, Jake did get me a purse I had been wanting forever for my birthday.
39:16 Speaker 01 The Prada party, what was it, the Prada party?
39:18 Speaker 03 The party purse.
39:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:20 Speaker 03 It's a Prada bag with a rave on it.
39:22 Speaker 02 With a what?
39:23 Speaker 01 With a disco ball.
39:23 Speaker 02 Oh, a disco ball.
39:24 Speaker 01 It's the Prada party purse.
39:26 Speaker 02 But.
39:27 Speaker 03 With a rave on it.
39:27 Speaker 01 Well, to be fair, Peyton, we were at drinks, and Peyton started pulling up bags and saying, I want this one.
39:31 Speaker 02 Also, also, to be fair, I think that you roll a lot deeper than I do. Like.
39:37 Speaker 03 Where's that, Liam?
39:38 Speaker 02 That, I don't, I don't go out with maybe as many people as you do, like, when you.
39:42 Speaker 01 How many people you go out with? We don't have many friends.
39:44 Speaker 02 It's like three or four of us, max.
39:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's.
39:46 Speaker 03 Wait, there's five of us.
39:49 Speaker 02 Well, I'm, I'm trying to make you look better, but I don't think it's a good thing, I think I need to, like, relax about it.
39:54 Speaker 01 Okay, I think I need to work on it.
39:56 Speaker 02 I think you're doing good, I think.
39:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, you guys can, can find a happy medium together.
39:59 Speaker 02 Let's find, I love that, thank you Peyton.
40:01 Speaker 01 Okay, love you, Pay.
40:03 Speaker 03 Love you.
40:07 Speaker 02 Have you ever been to Dominican Republic?
40:09 Speaker 01 No.
40:10 Speaker 02 And you speak a little bit of Spanish?
40:13 Speaker 01 Okay, ask me a question.
40:15 Speaker 02 Okay, um, ¿cómo estás?
40:19 Speaker 01 Uh, así, así.
40:20 Speaker 02 ¿Qué te está molestando estos días?
40:23 Speaker 01 Sorry? One more time? Uno más.
40:26 Speaker 02 ¿Qué te molesta estos días?
40:29 Speaker 01 How long have I studied Spanish for?
40:31 Speaker 02 What bothers you?
40:32 Speaker 01 Oh.
40:35 Speaker 01 Um, I can't speak Spanish, actually.
40:37 Speaker 02 But, okay, there's nothing really there.
40:39 Speaker 01 No. How was the Dominican Republic when you went?
40:41 Speaker 02 It was beautiful.
40:42 Speaker 01 It was beautiful?
40:43 Speaker 02 You have to go, the people, it's, it's, it's really just an unbelievable place. And it's beautiful, and I think it's on the rise. And I think that it's peaceful and the, it's a natural beauty.
40:57 Speaker 01 Do you gossip a lot?
40:58 Speaker 02 Um, I wouldn't say I gossip a lot, um, but, uh...
41:03 Speaker 01 Does your mom?
41:04 Speaker 02 Um, yeah, I think it's a mom thing.
41:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think...
41:07 Speaker 02 Figure out who's doing what and what they did with what. And my mom also would always do the thing where, my, my mom and my grandmother, they gossip about people they don't even know. They would just do like, if they see a news story about like, a child that was abducted, immediately they're coming to me and being like, "You're a child. That could have been you."
41:29 Speaker 01 Shut, what?
41:30 Speaker 02 "To live my life in fear that that could have been me."
41:33 Speaker 01 What is the most trouble you've ever gotten into with your mom, ever? Because in your special, you talk a lot about how you got in trouble at the mall, how you got in trouble...
41:40 Speaker 02 That's the one, the phone call.
41:42 Speaker 01 Really?
41:42 Speaker 02 That's the biggest thing I've ever done.
41:44 Speaker 01 But you said you punished yourself.
41:46 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, but, I mean, it was like, I was already punished. It was like, I felt like punishing myself. I didn't punish myself, I just felt like, I felt so bad about it. It was like, truly, like, it was, we haven't talked, we still don't talk about it because it was that bad.
42:02 Speaker 01 He basically, like, told everyone on the bus that he, his parents let him smoke cigarettes and drink. How old were you, 10?
42:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:09 Speaker 01 And he got a call from CPS being like, "We're gonna take you away." Turns out it was just his mom's friend fucking with him.
42:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:17 Speaker 01 But his mom was like, every single day for two weeks, when he would go to school, would be like, "All right, well, I have to go pee in a cup to prove that I'm not on drugs." It was all a lie, the whole thing was a ruse.
42:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was a ruse, I got rused. But that was like probably the worst thing I ever did. That and then it was just like little stuff, you know what I mean, like I had to-
42:33 Speaker 01 You were a good kid!
42:34 Speaker 02 I was not, I was not really a great, I was a good kid, like I never did anything insane. But I definitely was like, I would get a lot of trouble in school. A lot of times that my mom is like, "I'm working until 4pm, you can't miss the bus." And then I get a detention and then I have to miss the bus. And many times she would have to pick me up at school at like 7, 8pm. Um, stuff like that. I never had like any like drug or alcohol abuse situation.
42:58 Speaker 01 I think the most trouble I ever got in was when I blacked out and broke my wrist. And my mom had told me two days prior that she was okay with me drinking a little. And then she was like, "You know, like you could have a drink here and there." And I was like, "Oh, okay, great." And then I broke my wrist.
43:11 Speaker 02 Oh my god. I never got in any trouble like that, like no police trouble. Ooh, one time, this was really bad. Um, one time I, um, I crashed my car texting and driving. And I hit a person and they came out of the car like, I didn't hit like a human, I hit a car. But the people came out, like my neck, my back.
43:32 Speaker 01 Did you have to like handle it through insurance or outside?
43:34 Speaker 02 I don't even, I don't even remember. I think my mom and they were like, but they did this, the thing about scaring me, like we, you might have to go to court.
43:41 Speaker 01 Well, you could have, you hit someone.
43:42 Speaker 02 I know, it was really bad.
43:43 Speaker 01 You know the guy still hasn't texted me back, the guy that I'm supposed to-
43:45 Speaker 02 Are you serious?
43:46 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:47 Speaker 02 So it's getting worse. I think also when you're with a friend and you're having a conversation, you can't relax about it, but the time is not passing that fast.
43:53 Speaker 01 How is he not texting me? I'm so sorry.
43:55 Speaker 02 Can I call him?
43:56 Speaker 01 No, we have a date in four hours and I'm actually so confused, should I text him?
44:00 Speaker 02 What if I just call him? From my phone, just to see if he's on his phone. And he won't even know it's me. Can we please do that? He won't even know it's me. Did he use my phone? Yeah, safe, yeah.
44:10 Speaker 01 No.
44:11 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, yes, yes. Dude, this is really good. Here we go, ready? Do not disturb, I'm doing double, I'm doing double, you just have to, it's part of the thing.
44:21 Speaker 01 Is not available. Up the phone.
44:23 Speaker 02 Shut up.
44:24 Speaker 01 Hang up.
44:26 Speaker 02 Hello? I'm calling in regard to the car on sale in the Facebook Marketplace. Call me back, please. Thank you.
44:38 Speaker 02 I don't think that's bad. Hello?
44:41 Speaker 01 I had to go pee. I had to go pee.
44:43 Speaker 02 That voice.
44:44 Speaker 01 Why won't... So did he decline your call?
44:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, he declined the call. He's... Yeah, but also I feel like he's really in something that's busy.
44:51 Speaker 01 Yes, he's busy.
44:52 Speaker 02 That makes me feel like you're... You're okay. It's not that bad.
44:57 Speaker 01 I need a boyfriend.
45:00 Speaker 01 I'm gonna crash out. I'm gonna crash out.
45:03 Speaker 02 And if he calls you... He's not gonna call you back. I wanted the voicemail to be a person you don't call back.
45:08 Speaker 01 Well, you're calling about the car on Facebook Marketplace.
45:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, which is... Hey.
45:12 Speaker 01 Realistic.
45:13 Speaker 02 I thought about that on the fly.
45:14 Speaker 01 Okay, so we're about to get into the tell me what's wrongs. But before we do, I do have to pee my pants.
45:18 Speaker 02 Okay, great. Let's take a break.
45:22 Speaker 01 This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot... Yeah! So I actually have my best friend Alice on the phone with me right now. Alice, we just got back from Japan together. Would you like to tell the pussies how you booked every single one of our stays?
45:39 Speaker 03 I really did my big one. It took me about four days to make sure I was booking the right places, the right things, and we got such good deals on Booking.com and like will be using time and time again.
45:52 Speaker 01 Like, how amazing were those deals, Alice?
45:54 Speaker 03 Obviously, they weren't free, but like, they were... They were close.
46:00 Speaker 01 You heard it here first, as you always do with Booking.com. I've used it on tour. I used it on my recent trip. Like, you literally just put in, "Okay, we're with four people. We need two beds. We wanna tear..." Like, they really just make it so much easier, especially when you're traveling with a group. Everybody has such different needs for where they wanna stay, and Booking.com just makes it so easy. So, literally, thank you, Booking.com, for helping my trip with Japan and helping me book, obviously, all of my... Tour spots. Also, at this rate, I have been in New York for a week now for Broadway. And I booked it on booking.com because I wanted to make sure I was near a gym, somewhere I could get coffee,
46:42 Speaker 01 just like walking distance to like anything I would need. So, seriously, thank you, booking.com. I would literally use it for everywhere I go, and it's been the most helpful. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking dot yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Okay, so tell me about the SNL schedule. I know the, okay, well, I guess people watching would know. The SNL schedule is, do you, are you, do you write?
47:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:07 Speaker 01 Okay, so you write?
47:08 Speaker 02 So I'll tell you, Jason Sudeikis, name drop alert.
47:11 Speaker 01 Okay.
47:11 Speaker 02 He told me that people always ask him about the SNL schedule, and he had to find a quick way to explain it to someone.
47:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
47:21 Speaker 02 And he gave it to me so that I can do it, and then it makes my life easier. So on Monday, we talk about it.
47:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
47:27 Speaker 02 We talk to the host, we talk to the writers, everybody talks on Monday. Set schedule, set meetings for Tuesday. On Tuesday, we write, all day, all night, we write. And on Tuesday, there's that dinner that we all go to with the host, that Lauren and the producers, they select some cast to join them at dinner with the host.
47:45 Speaker 01 Okay, you guys get drunk?
47:48 Speaker 02 No, because you gotta go back to the office.
47:50 Speaker 01 Got it.
47:50 Speaker 02 So you can have one, maybe, but you gotta go back and be a person. So Tuesday, we write. Wednesday, we read. So on Wednesday morning, you send in all your sketches. At Wednesday afternoon, we all sit at the table and we read thirty-eight to forty sketches. So it takes hours. So we're done at like eight-thirty, nine. We sit at that table for a long time. And then from nine to like ten, ten-thirty, they pick what's on the show. So then on Thursday, there's rewrites all day. So the ones that were picked, you meet up with all the writers and you rewrite the sketches. You find out which moments weren't that good, you try to make them better. And then on Thursday night, I believe there's a few rehearsals as well.
48:31 Speaker 02 And then Friday is when you record everything that's pre-recorded, and also you rehearse a lot of the other sketches.
48:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
48:41 Speaker 02 And then on Saturday, you do.
48:47 Speaker 02 Usually you get there at like noon and then you're there until 1:30 a.m. when it's over. So Saturday, we're rehearsing all day and then at 8:00 p.m. we do the dress rehearsal. And then at 10:00 p.m. we find out what was cut between dress and air, 10:00, 10:30. And then at 11:30, we do the show show.
49:05 Speaker 01 What has your favorite show you've ever done been?
49:08 Speaker 02 I think the one that was most emotionally like, the one that made me cry was with Bad Bunny.
49:15 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
49:16 Speaker 02 When he hosted the first time and he brought like, obviously like I was helping people that were putting Spanish into his sketches. I felt like important and like useful and that was really nice. And then um, we had this protective mom sketch that I had done with Pedro where he's my mom. And we, you know, Lorne, um, the producers thought it was, maybe we bring it back for that one. Then we brought it back and I got to write it and put Bad Bunny as my aunt.
49:46 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
49:46 Speaker 02 Pedro as my mom and it was funny and we had a great time. And I think after that show, I remember like going to the after party and seeing my friends and just crying.
49:57 Speaker 01 Oh.
49:58 Speaker 02 It was like big.
49:59 Speaker 01 Like hysterically sob?
50:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, like uh, like um, but it was like, you know, it was a moment.
50:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course.
50:06 Speaker 02 And I felt like I had like really like done something.
50:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's amazing. And then what is on the flip side? A sketch where you you got off stage, you were like, I literally, I've never bombed that hard in my life.
50:19 Speaker 02 It happens a lot. Uh, like at dress rehearsal, some of the sketches just don't work and you just, you get cut and you get cut. Um, we've done a few that just don't work, but I uh, I pride myself on like, it's okay to be like, for a second to be like damn or whatever, but like, I don't get too low and I try not to get too high either.
50:41 Speaker 01 Really?
50:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, cuz then you.
50:42 Speaker 01 Yeah. You ever heard the song Happy and Sad by Kacey Musgraves?
50:45 Speaker 02 No.
50:46 Speaker 01 You should listen to it.
50:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's a good one.
50:47 Speaker 01 It talks about like when you're feeling really happy, you're like, oh my god, something bad's gonna happen.
50:50 Speaker 02 Right. It's tough. And uh, ooh, Tom Hanks has a great quote that I saw him do on a YouTube thing where he's like, um, whenever you think you have it all figured out, you're wrong.
51:01 Speaker 01 That's the quote?
51:02 Speaker 02 And then whenever you think that you have nothing figured out and everything's going bad.
51:06 Speaker 01 Oh.
51:07 Speaker 02 You're wrong as well.
51:09 Speaker 01 Oh.
51:10 Speaker 02 If you would just give me a second to finish it.
51:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, that was a lesson in patience for me, clearly.
51:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly.
51:16 Speaker 01 Well, let's, I'm gonna, before we get into the Tell Me What's Wrong, I am gonna see, but still no response, that's cool.
51:21 Speaker 02 Well, he ignored the call, he's busy. Pass me one of those stress balls, you're making me stressed. I didn't realize that we're gonna be so sticky, Jake. I'm sorry.
51:30 Speaker 01 Well, I like it.
51:30 Speaker 02 Oh, it's slimy.
51:32 Speaker 01 It's slimy.
51:32 Speaker 02 I'm sure it'll get dry the longer you have it.
51:35 Speaker 01 What was your favorite place when you would go to the mall with your mom, and you said you hated it, which actually was probably the most shocking part of your special, because I love the mall.
51:42 Speaker 02 Really?
51:43 Speaker 01 Well, I guess that doesn't mean you would like it, but what was your favorite place to go to?
51:47 Speaker 02 We're different, you and I.
51:48 Speaker 01 In, in the mall?
51:49 Speaker 02 Um, my favorite place to go to in the mall, I don't know, I really didn't enjoy it, but I will say that I would go now.
51:58 Speaker 01 You wanna go to the mall?
51:59 Speaker 02 I would go to the mall. I would go to the mall, I'd go to the mall with you, I'd go to the mall with my mom, I would go to the mall, I'd probably have a good time. I also think back then you have no money.
52:07 Speaker 01 Right, right, you're like, what am I doing?
52:09 Speaker 02 And, yeah, and wanting something is scary, cuz your mom is like, really, Mr. C in math?
52:15 Speaker 01 Did you have an allowance as a kid?
52:16 Speaker 02 No.
52:17 Speaker 01 Okay.
52:18 Speaker 02 I would get like, sometimes my parents would drop me off at a place called Sunset Place, and that's where you do lose your laps and you have your first kiss and all that stuff. And, um, they would give me 20 bucks, I'd get up, they'd be like-
52:27 Speaker 01 I would, my parents would give me 20 as well.
52:29 Speaker 02 You'd do that, but I never had an allowance, I never had like chores, I never was like, oh, I took out the trash, I deserve money, my mom was like, no, this is my house and I pay rent.
52:36 Speaker 01 You know, I didn't-
52:38 Speaker 02 Or mortgage.
52:38 Speaker 01 You know, I didn't do chores as a kid?
52:40 Speaker 02 Never did chores?
52:40 Speaker 01 Never, not once.
52:41 Speaker 02 Do you think that it's hurt you in your older life?
52:42 Speaker 01 Absolutely, I didn't know how to do laundry until I got to college.
52:45 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
52:45 Speaker 01 I didn't know how to do the dishwasher until I moved into my second apartment in college.
52:50 Speaker 02 Whoa.
52:50 Speaker 01 Well, so the Tell Me What's Wrong, you obviously know since you've seen the show.
52:54 Speaker 02 Of course.
52:54 Speaker 01 Um, and we prescribe stuff.
52:56 Speaker 02 Right.
52:57 Speaker 01 My best friend of 10 plus years has a lying problem. Recently, she's been retelling stories that I'm a part of, oh, and she's adding things that are untrue and always end up making me look bad and her look good.
53:08 Speaker 02 Whoa.
53:09 Speaker 01 I've been there. Other friends have noticed it too, okay, well, that's the first part, and she even fabricated a story and told my coworkers, which made me really uncomfortable, and I had to do damage control, what do I do?
53:20 Speaker 01 So it's awkward when you have a friend like that, because they'll never, cuz they already have the lying problem, like that's seeded into them, they will never look at you and tell you that they lied. Ever.
53:28 Speaker 02 You think so?
53:29 Speaker 01 I know so. You'll say, you just lied, they'll say, no, I didn't.
53:32 Speaker 02 Even if you put the pressure on?
53:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, they'll say, no, I didn't, you're lying.
53:35 Speaker 02 Whoa.
53:38 Speaker 01 I don't really know what to prescribe.
53:39 Speaker 02 I think you need to have like more faith in people.
53:40 Speaker 01 Oh my god, you know what I prescribe?
53:42 Speaker 02 What?
53:42 Speaker 01 Do you remember in the episode of Pluribus where she gave her the truth serum?
53:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
53:45 Speaker 01 That.
53:46 Speaker 02 The truth serum, which is?
53:49 Speaker 01 Heroin?
53:49 Speaker 02 Tequila.
53:50 Speaker 01 Oh.
53:51 Speaker 02 Or something.
53:51 Speaker 01 Oh, sorry. Cause didn't she ask for heroin in Pluribus?
53:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, but that was not, had nothing to do, whatever. Um, I, uh, I prescribe like a, like a let's have drinks with this girl and have a lot of drinks, like a lot, enough drinks that towards the end of the night, when you're blackout, you go, hey, I'm not mad, but we have to talk about this.
54:18 Speaker 01 Do you watch The Real Housewives?
54:19 Speaker 02 Um, a little bit with my family, yeah.
54:21 Speaker 01 Which ones do you watch? Cause that is something that they would do.
54:23 Speaker 02 My sister does, um, my sister does Miami, Salt Lake City.
54:27 Speaker 01 Shut up!
54:28 Speaker 02 Uh, of course, Salt Lake City is apparently the best one.
54:30 Speaker 01 It is the best one. Do you watch Salt Lake City?
54:32 Speaker 02 A little bit, yeah.
54:33 Speaker 01 Who's your favorite?
54:34 Speaker 02 Um, I don't have a favorite.
54:35 Speaker 01 Come on.
54:36 Speaker 02 I don't have a favorite, but my favorite-
54:37 Speaker 01 Lisa Barlow, "I'm very important to God." Have you heard her say that?
54:40 Speaker 02 No, what did she say?
54:41 Speaker 01 She said, "I'm very important to God."
54:42 Speaker 02 To God?
54:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:43 Speaker 02 Okay, that's funny. Uh, I like Miami. I like in Miami, um-
54:47 Speaker 01 Miami's one of the best, too.
54:48 Speaker 02 Miami is one of the best. I like, uh, the girl that's with the firefighter.
54:52 Speaker 01 I don't watch Miami, so I wouldn't know, but I do know that it is considered one of the best.
54:55 Speaker 02 I watch-
54:56 Speaker 01 I only watch Salt Lake.
54:57 Speaker 02 Miami's really good, though.
54:59 Speaker 01 So you watch?
55:00 Speaker 02 My sister, yeah, I sit down with my sister sometimes and I watch The Housewives with her. It's, it's television. People, you can, you can hate on it all you want, it's television. It's good TV.
55:08 Speaker 01 Some of the best actors in the world watch Housewives.
55:10 Speaker 02 The stuff happens, it's drama, it's would you, can you believe her? I love that. I don't find myself to be a very dramatic person. Like, I don't like get there very often, so it's nice to see people get there
55:23 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
55:23 Speaker 02 over stuff that's not that important.
55:25 Speaker 01 You're not dramatic?
55:26 Speaker 02 Not that dramatic. I think I definitely am dramatic, but I think that level is kind of performative.
55:31 Speaker 01 You know what I would prescribe, actually?
55:33 Speaker 02 To this girl?
55:34 Speaker 01 Yes. Real Housewives of New York City, Scary Island episodes, cause Kelly Ben, or maybe not Scary Island, but just like that whole season with Kelly Ben Simone in general, cause she just lies through her teeth. My friend, my friend Gwyneth, remember that? She's just a liar and you just, you can't, you have to just like deal with it.
55:51 Speaker 02 Right, but only if you love this person do I recommend having the drinks and doing the thing.
55:55 Speaker 01 My twin sister and my boyfriend have been hooking up behind my back for months. I found out through a mutual friend that told me when we were a little drunk last weekend.
56:04 Speaker 02 You see, you see how they, you see how the information gets out?
56:07 Speaker 01 Yes, I feel so betrayed by both parties, obviously, and have no idea what to do with this information. I haven't told them I know yet and it's taking everything from me not to murder them both. How do I handle this in the most evil way possible?
56:20 Speaker 02 Whoa, in the most evil way?
56:24 Speaker 02 My twin sister is hooking up with my boyfriend behind my back.
56:26 Speaker 01 Would you consider yourself to be a petty person?
56:28 Speaker 02 Um, not too petty, no.
56:30 Speaker 01 I also don't think I'm petty, she would disagree.
56:33 Speaker 02 Petty to me is like if somebody like, if you find out that someone's been talking to someone else behind your back and they tell you, you post like a story with the person that told you the stuff. You know what I mean? That to me is like petty behavior.
56:49 Speaker 01 That's calculated.
56:50 Speaker 02 That's calculated and petty.
56:51 Speaker 01 Oh, but if I find out someone's talking-
56:52 Speaker 02 I've had the opportunity to do that and I didn't do it.
56:55 Speaker 01 Oh, you, do you get your feelings hurt if you find out someone's speaking about you, about, behind your back?
56:59 Speaker 02 Um, no.
57:00 Speaker 01 Neither do I.
57:01 Speaker 02 No.
57:03 Speaker 01 Well-
57:03 Speaker 02 Cause, cause what, cause what? Cause there's no such thing as what? Bad press, honey.
57:08 Speaker 01 You believe that?
57:09 Speaker 02 I don't know, I just wanted to say it.
57:10 Speaker 01 Okay.
57:11 Speaker 02 Um, what do we prescribe to this girl? Oh, no, no, how do we prescribe? She wants the most evil solution.
57:16 Speaker 01 I mean, I mean, the, the classic response is like a rom com where like John Tucker must die, which I've prescribed many a times, however-
57:25 Speaker 02 What's that?
57:26 Speaker 01 You've never seen John Tucker Must Die?
57:27 Speaker 02 No.
57:27 Speaker 01 Oh, it's fabulous.
57:28 Speaker 02 Oh, really?
57:29 Speaker 01 You would love it.
57:29 Speaker 02 Okay.
57:30 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
57:31 Speaker 02 I, I recommend something crazy.
57:33 Speaker 01 Oh, I actually know what I recommend to you.
57:34 Speaker 02 I recommend something crazy, but this has lifelong effects.
57:37 Speaker 01 Okay, what?
57:38 Speaker 02 Tell your mom.
57:39 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, because it's her, it's the sister.
57:42 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? And it's like, and they look the same and it's hard to pick one, but when you find out something like this, you pick one.
57:48 Speaker 01 I would prescribe girls on HBO specifically because Hannah, the main character's boyfriend starts hooking up with her best friend behind her back and she writes a think piece on it.
57:59 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
58:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:01 Speaker 02 But naming names?
58:02 Speaker 01 Hmm, no, but they know. My parents of 20 plus years just told me at the-
58:06 Speaker 02 This was an evil solution to, to, to send it to you so you read it on here.
58:10 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
58:11 Speaker 02 This was part of it already.
58:13 Speaker 01 So like, if you know, you know.
58:14 Speaker 02 If you know, you know now, and if you really wanna be evil, tell your mom.
58:19 Speaker 01 Tell, tell your mom?
58:19 Speaker 02 Tell your mom.
58:20 Speaker 01 What would your mom do?
58:21 Speaker 02 If she found that out?
58:22 Speaker 01 Let's say you had a brother.
58:24 Speaker 02 It would just be like, I still love you, and you'll always question if that's true.
58:29 Speaker 01 Really?
58:30 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
58:30 Speaker 01 What?
58:31 Speaker 02 Cause you were like, she'll be like, she'll tell you that's wrong, and that you should, you did the wrong thing, and that you should never betray your sister like that. And then for the rest of your life, you'll kinda live with that guilt of like, I let my mother down in a crazy way.
58:47 Speaker 01 God, I don't have that guilt.
58:48 Speaker 02 No?
58:49 Speaker 01 No.
58:50 Speaker 02 Do you have any siblings?
58:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:52 Speaker 02 Exactly.
58:52 Speaker 01 I'd be like, look, desperate times.
58:55 Speaker 02 What?
58:56 Speaker 01 Probably, like, I don't know.
58:58 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
58:59 Speaker 01 My parents of 20 plus years just told me at the ripe age of 24-
59:02 Speaker 02 My parents of 20 plus years, just, that's just your parents. What?
59:08 Speaker 01 Okay, I guess you're right.
59:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, she was telling us her age, that's what she was saying.
59:11 Speaker 01 My parents just told me at the age of 24 that they're getting divorced, and my dad is joining a polycule. What is that?
59:17 Speaker 02 Oh, that's when you have sex with multiple people.
59:18 Speaker 01 Woo!
59:19 Speaker 02 It's a relationship with multiple people.
59:20 Speaker 01 The weirdest thing is my mom is totally fine with it. Well, obviously. Like, they've been talking about it. Please, how do I cope with this? It's so weird, even though I'm already out of the house. Oh, you just have to, it's, it's, it's, you're at that age where you're like, oh my god, my parents are just grown up children. They don't know what they're doing.
59:35 Speaker 02 Right.
59:35 Speaker 01 Do you ever feel that way? Like, oh my god, my parents are just grown up children?
59:38 Speaker 02 I prescribe a group chat with the wives.
59:40 Speaker 01 Why?
59:41 Speaker 02 Just get in there, start to have some wine, and try to enjoy it. They feel guilty too. They just took a, a normal family, the other people in the polycule. I think that the other people in the polycule, I think that they feel bad too. They're like, oh my god, this guy had a normal life, and then now, because of the polycule, it's gonna, it's all kind of, gonna be different now. So use that guilt to kinda have some fun, try to have some fun, try to make them, you know, get you some gifts.
1:00:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, double Christmas?
1:00:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, with that, it's probably like triple, quadruple Christmas.
1:00:06 Speaker 01 Well, your parents are divorced, right?
1:00:07 Speaker 02 My parents are divorced.
1:00:08 Speaker 01 So do you get double Christmas?
1:00:09 Speaker 02 I get double Christmas, yeah, sure.
1:00:11 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:00:12 Speaker 02 I get double Christmas. I also have a, I have a mom, I have a stepdad, and I have a dad. And my mom and my stepdad, they got divorced, and then they got back together.
1:00:19 Speaker 01 Wow. Oh my god, love your mom's energy.
1:00:22 Speaker 02 She's just-
1:00:23 Speaker 01 Didn't work, let's try it again.
1:00:24 Speaker 02 Literally, and the real savage move is to divorce. Is like, whatever that problem was, it was, we're divorced.
1:00:32 Speaker 01 Right.
1:00:32 Speaker 02 And then if you can repent,
1:00:34 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:00:35 Speaker 02 Take your time, repent away from me.
1:00:37 Speaker 01 Right.
1:00:38 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
1:00:38 Speaker 01 You a religious man?
1:00:40 Speaker 02 Um, I believe in God, yeah.
1:00:42 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:00:42 Speaker 02 I believe in God, I pray.
1:00:44 Speaker 01 You pray?
1:00:45 Speaker 02 I pray every once in a while.
1:00:45 Speaker 01 You pray before every show?
1:00:46 Speaker 02 Um, I don't pray before every show, I pray before my special, I pray every time I get on a plane, and I pray every once in a while on my own. I do wanna, I've been trying to do this, I wanna pray every night.
1:00:58 Speaker 01 Okay, does your girlfriend also pray?
1:00:59 Speaker 02 Um, I think she does have a relationship with God, yeah.
1:01:02 Speaker 01 Oh, that's beautiful.
1:01:03 Speaker 02 But I wanna pray at night. I wanna pray at night. I used to do this, um, where you pray at night and you talk about what you want for the, what you're thankful for for today, and what you want for tomorrow.
1:01:13 Speaker 01 Okay, let's practice that right now.
1:01:14 Speaker 02 Okay, ready?
1:01:15 Speaker 01 Alright, what are you thankful for, for today?
1:01:16 Speaker 02 Are we really gonna pray?
1:01:18 Speaker 01 Oh, okay, yes.
1:01:19 Speaker 02 Cause if we're gonna pray, we're gonna pray.
1:01:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:01:21 Speaker 02 Okay, ready? Let's do a little prayer, let's do a little prayer, alright.
1:01:27 Speaker 02 God, I am thankful for my friends, for my family, for my health. I'm thankful for this week in LA. I've been able to share a lot of time with people that I admire and people that I respect. I am grateful for, um, my special that is coming out. Thank you for allowing that to happen without a hitch. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to have this week to promote it and to try to get people to watch it, because you know how much work I put into it. Um, that's what I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for my family, for my friends, for my relationship, and for, um, the people on my team that, uh, make me a better person and make me work very hard. Uh, Jake, what are you thankful for for today?
1:02:03 Speaker 01 Okay, thank you, God, for, um, giving me the health to be able to work out this morning. I loved my workout. Um, thank you for, um, letting me have this space, um, to interview my friends and talk to them. Um, I would actually really appreciate it if you had the guy that I'm going on the date with tonight. Text me back. I've been waiting and I need to know if I need to show up to Sushi Fumi at eight thirty P M or not. But other than that, I am so grateful. I'm grateful for my body. I feel like I've been looking a little slimmer these days, so thank you for that. I know that's both you and me together.
1:02:43 Speaker 01 And um, I'm grateful for, um, you know, I was actually looking in the mirror today and I decided that I really liked my hair, so I'm grateful for my hair. Um, I'm grateful for, okay, so I know that this is, this is like off and on, but like I am grateful for European Wax Center. Even though that it's poorly run, I am grateful for them because I feel really comfortable with my upper arms right now because they're waxed.
1:03:09 Speaker 02 And thank you for that.
1:03:10 Speaker 01 And thank you, amen.
1:03:11 Speaker 02 And and then, no, no, now we do what we want for tomorrow.
1:03:14 Speaker 01 Oh, okay, okay. Oh, I already jumped the gun on that one.
1:03:16 Speaker 02 It's okay. And um, for tomorrow, I pray that you please give me the opportunity to have a amazing screening for my special and that everybody comes and that they enjoy it and that they feel identified and that they feel that they had a moment of release and that they laugh. And I also pray that um, tomorrow you um, keep everybody safe and my family and in my friends and that my girlfriend has a safe flight from New York to L A to come uh, see the screening. And I pray that uh, tomorrow you also um, remind me whenever I can to help other people um, when it's possible. And um, and amen. And I know you for tomorrow.
1:04:00 Speaker 01 Okay, for tomorrow, um, I'm going to the store at eleven A M and I want them to have the size of the blue and white striped shirt that I really want. So I pray for that. Um, I pray that I do a good job in my workout after I buy the shirt if they have my size, wink wink. Um, and I pray that I um, I find joy in my day tomorrow. Amen.
1:04:27 Speaker 02 That was sweet. That was sweet.
1:04:29 Speaker 01 That was so fun. I do pray that they I have the shirt.
1:04:32 Speaker 02 Just be grateful. Be grateful.
1:04:34 Speaker 01 Is that what religion is? Do you think just gratitude or no?
1:04:37 Speaker 02 I think it's gratitude. I think people.
1:04:40 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I saw that too.
1:04:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think people, um.
1:04:43 Speaker 01 Is that a fly?
1:04:44 Speaker 02 I think so.
1:04:45 Speaker 01 It was God.
1:04:46 Speaker 02 It was God.
1:04:47 Speaker 01 It was.
1:04:48 Speaker 02 That's nice.
1:04:48 Speaker 01 It was.
1:04:49 Speaker 02 Um, and what did I do? I went, get away from me.
1:04:51 Speaker 01 No, no, but you were just startled by his presence.
1:04:54 Speaker 02 Thank you, that's sweet. Um, I think it's that, I think it's you being grateful for the world that you have. And I think it's also when things go bad, you, you need someone that you want to be on your side. And I think it's, you know, it's true that, you know, he's always listening. And I think it's also just placing intentions into the world is, uh, I think it's a healthy thing.
1:05:13 Speaker 01 Uh huh, I do that silently.
1:05:15 Speaker 02 Good.
1:05:15 Speaker 01 You know what? I felt so good after prayer.
1:05:18 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
1:05:18 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I feel amazing.
1:05:19 Speaker 02 And imagine doing that every night before you go to sleep.
1:05:21 Speaker 01 You just feel like, oh, I'm putting it out there.
1:05:23 Speaker 02 I'm putting it out there. And then now you start to kind of live life with intention.
1:05:28 Speaker 01 I keep on going out and I cannot get a hint for the life of me in multiple ways. I never know when to go home, girl, same. I never know when I'm too drunk, but mainly, well, obviously that's the point of being drunk, but mainly I never know when someone is into me. I've had experiences where I make the first move and it fails completely. So how can I trust that someone is doing the same to me? I fumbled the bag so hard so many times. How, how, how do I know when someone is flirting with me instead of just bantering or humoring me? Please, it's such a problem. I totally relate to that.
1:05:56 Speaker 02 Interesting.
1:05:56 Speaker 01 How do you know? How do you, how did you know when someone was, when your girlfriend was flirting with you?
1:06:00 Speaker 02 Um, we went on a bunch of dates. I think it took time. Um.
1:06:05 Speaker 01 Patience.
1:06:05 Speaker 02 Patience, I think, um, I think also sometimes you have to make a move and see what the reaction is. I think, you know, if you go on a bunch of dates and you're saying goodbye, you can ask to kiss or to see if it's okay. Um, and, um, I think, I think I really respect people that go, are you flirting with me or are you just humoring me? I think that to me is.
1:06:28 Speaker 01 Oh my god, if I go on my date tonight, I'm gonna use that line.
1:06:30 Speaker 02 It's good, right?
1:06:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:32 Speaker 02 Are you flirting with me? Are you interested in me? Or are you just playing with me? Are you just, or are you just being nice? And I think that's like a cute and honest way to get it out of the way and then you know. And then maybe you get a person that's, you know, really honest and it's like, you know what? Honestly, I am just being nice. I am seeing someone or I'm not looking for anything.
1:06:52 Speaker 01 So why go on the date?
1:06:53 Speaker 02 No, not on the date, just like a random person at a bar.
1:06:56 Speaker 01 Okay, sorry, that hit home for me. That, that one really hit home for me.
1:07:01 Speaker 02 Let's manifest something before we get to the next, um, the next one.
1:07:04 Speaker 01 I'm gonna manifest that he texted me back. Did it?
1:07:06 Speaker 02 No, he didn't. He's busy, dude.
1:07:08 Speaker 01 That's fucking insane. It's 5pm.
1:07:10 Speaker 02 He rejected two calls back to back. What if that was the biggest opportunity of his whole life?
1:07:13 Speaker 01 Well, it's from an unknown number. That was...
1:07:15 Speaker 02 By the way, it kind of was one of the biggest opportunities of his whole life, and I think he passed.
1:07:19 Speaker 01 I can't believe he didn't text me back.
1:07:21 Speaker 02 He passed.
1:07:21 Speaker 01 I can't believe he didn't text me back.
1:07:22 Speaker 02 He's busy, Jake. Relax. What was I gonna tell you? Oh, who do you want on the show that you haven't had on?
1:07:27 Speaker 01 Taylor Swift.
1:07:28 Speaker 02 That's okay, that's...
1:07:29 Speaker 01 Have you met Taylor Swift?
1:07:30 Speaker 02 Uh, I met her once, yeah.
1:07:31 Speaker 01 Was she lovely?
1:07:32 Speaker 02 She was sweet. She was with Travis at an after-party, and I brought, uh, I brought shots, and we did like a shot together.
1:07:38 Speaker 01 Ah!
1:07:39 Speaker 02 She's cool.
1:07:39 Speaker 01 Who is the most starstruck you've ever been to meet on SNL?
1:07:41 Speaker 02 Um, I think for me, because I listen to a lot of Spanish music, when I saw Bad Bunny, I was kind of freaking out. Carol G, I was freaking out. Um, I think for me, it's like, those people really are like, whoa. And then, um, I think I would freak out if I ever saw like Jennifer Aniston. Like, I think she's a legend.
1:07:59 Speaker 01 One time I was waving at someone...
1:08:00 Speaker 02 And we watched the morning show.
1:08:02 Speaker 01 Oh, you watch the morning show?
1:08:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, I watch it.
1:08:04 Speaker 01 Brett loves that show. My roommate.
1:08:06 Speaker 02 I watch it a lot.
1:08:07 Speaker 01 I once was waving at someone, and Jennifer Aniston was staying in the same hotel as me, and she thought I was waving at her, and she said...
1:08:14 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
1:08:15 Speaker 01 And I said, "Oh, no," but it was like Jennifer Aniston.
1:08:17 Speaker 02 You said, "Oh, no"?
1:08:18 Speaker 01 No, I was just like, "Oh, my God, that's so awkward." Like, I just had that, and it was with Jennifer Aniston.
1:08:22 Speaker 02 She's a legend, isn't she?
1:08:24 Speaker 01 Was she the one that was dating Justin Theroux? Yes, they were dating. Yes, they, yes, yes, they were. Have you ever seen The Leftovers?
1:08:32 Speaker 02 No.
1:08:33 Speaker 01 Fantastic.
1:08:34 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
1:08:35 Speaker 01 Talk about God.
1:08:35 Speaker 02 Right.
1:08:36 Speaker 01 You know, I have a show coming out?
1:08:37 Speaker 02 Really?
1:08:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, on Hulu, and I'm making it with Paul Brigenti.
1:08:42 Speaker 02 Oh, nice. What is it called?
1:08:43 Speaker 01 Um, Untitled, as of now, but...
1:08:45 Speaker 02 Okay, and it's all about you?
1:08:46 Speaker 01 Of course.
1:08:47 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
1:08:47 Speaker 01 You worked with Paul for a while.
1:08:49 Speaker 02 You're not gonna invite me? No, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't overlap.
1:08:51 Speaker 01 You didn't overlap?
1:08:52 Speaker 02 No.
1:08:52 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:08:52 Speaker 02 Oh, but you're gonna invite me to do the show?
1:08:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, I've actually thought of you.
1:08:56 Speaker 02 Okay, go on.
1:08:56 Speaker 01 But if you're not too busy, you have like 10 different movies coming out this year. You've got Shrek.
1:09:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, isn't that insane?
1:09:02 Speaker 01 Have you filmed Shrek already?
1:09:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's been, it's all voiceover, obviously.
1:09:05 Speaker 01 Okay, got it.
1:09:05 Speaker 02 Um, yeah, it's crazy.
1:09:07 Speaker 01 What's your Shrek voice?
1:09:08 Speaker 02 Um, it's, it sounds a lot like me.
1:09:10 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
1:09:11 Speaker 02 It sounds a lot like me.
1:09:11 Speaker 01 And you play Shrek's son?
1:09:12 Speaker 02 I play one of Shrek's sons, yeah.
1:09:14 Speaker 01 One of?
1:09:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:09:15 Speaker 01 Oh, he's getting around.
1:09:17 Speaker 02 No, it's, he's very fertile. Um, but, uh, that's really crazy exciting, and I did one with Kevin Hart, and it's coming out in July.
1:09:24 Speaker 01 Oh, yes. I've heard about this. What's it called again?
1:09:27 Speaker 02 72 Hours.
1:09:28 Speaker 01 And what's it about?
1:09:29 Speaker 02 It's, uh... It's like a, it's a boys movie. It's like the boys, it's for everyone, but it's, uh, cause there's a bunch, there's a big like girls moment as well, but um, it's a
1:09:40 Speaker 01 What do you mean?
1:09:40 Speaker 02 Like, like there's a group of girls in it that are hilarious. And there's a group of boys and um, Kevin is like in the boys group. And we are, uh, it's like a bachelor party movie.
1:09:52 Speaker 01 Okay, so what do you think the biggest difference between boy and girl humor is?
1:09:56 Speaker 02 I don't know, cause I think I have a little bit of girl humor.
1:09:59 Speaker 01 You do, cause you grew up, like your mom and your sister, you live in a house of women.
1:10:02 Speaker 02 Um, I don't know. I guess, I think Shane Gillis is boy humor.
1:10:07 Speaker 01 Totally.
1:10:07 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? And then I think I am like, I'm in the middle.
1:10:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:10:11 Speaker 02 I feel like I was a very much a guy, cause I played sports and stuff, but I grew up with a lot of women and I'm, I feel comfortable like hanging with women, wine nights with my aunt, talking, you know what I mean? I talk about it like, um, something when I was younger, I felt like a real guy at school and then I would come home and my sister would be like, I met someone and I'd be like, show me a picture.
1:10:30 Speaker 01 Really? How, how, what's your age difference with your sister?
1:10:33 Speaker 02 Three years.
1:10:33 Speaker 01 Older? She's older?
1:10:34 Speaker 02 She's younger.
1:10:35 Speaker 01 She's younger.
1:10:35 Speaker 02 And she's amazing. She's an architect.
1:10:37 Speaker 01 Oh!
1:10:38 Speaker 02 Well, she studied architecture and then she got into interior design.
1:10:40 Speaker 01 Isn't your girlfriend an architect as well?
1:10:41 Speaker 02 She is, yeah.
1:10:42 Speaker 01 Wow. Listen.
1:10:44 Speaker 02 Listen, guys. Um, you did listen about that. She's badass.
1:10:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:10:48 Speaker 02 She makes furniture and stuff.
1:10:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, she was showing me on the Sprinter, in which you forgot we hung out on.
1:10:52 Speaker 02 We did hang out on it. Um, yeah, my sister is like, my sister, I, I am the loud one and she's the quiet one. And she has such like a spidey sense for people and she kind of like, she just is great at analyzing things. You know what's something that she does that I'm really jealous of that I think we need to do?
1:11:09 Speaker 01 What?
1:11:09 Speaker 02 Is, I'll be like, something will happen with any of my friends or anybody and I'll be like, um, this happened with this person, what's going on? And she's like, you have to wait. Like, don't jump to a judgment. Give it a little bit of time.
1:11:25 Speaker 01 Your sister says this?
1:11:26 Speaker 02 She's like really emotionally intelligent.
1:11:29 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't got that.
1:11:30 Speaker 02 It's literally, what it is, it's like you're saving your energy. Cause I want, I come up to her with a problem and I'm like, I'm ready to be pissed. I'm ready to get therapist about this. And then she's like chill.
1:11:42 Speaker 01 Whoa, when's her birthday?
1:11:44 Speaker 02 She's June 20th.
1:11:45 Speaker 01 Gemini.
1:11:46 Speaker 02 Gemini. I'm telling you.
1:11:47 Speaker 01 And she says this?
1:11:48 Speaker 02 And she says this stuff. She's also therapized.
1:11:50 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:11:51 Speaker 02 But I think also like, for example, the texting thing, like if someone's not texting me back and I'm like, what's going on? Or like, you know, a business thing isn't happening and I'm like, it's not happening. Why, why won't they answer? I sent like a text with a request and I'm not getting anything. She's like, relax. People are busy, things happen. Sometimes I don't text back, sometimes you don't text back. So give people the same grace that you wish that they gave you.
1:12:13 Speaker 02 Bang.
1:12:14 Speaker 01 Wow, let me just check if he texted me back though. I do wanna see. Okay, so he still hasn't texted me back.
1:12:20 Speaker 02 You're giving this guy so much power, you know that.
1:12:22 Speaker 01 That power is mine.
1:12:23 Speaker 02 That power is yours. And when, what are you? A bad bitch. Okay?
1:12:29 Speaker 01 Wow, I wanna hang out with you all the time.
1:12:31 Speaker 02 We do need to hang out more.
1:12:32 Speaker 01 We do.
1:12:33 Speaker 02 Uh, that's a fact.
1:12:34 Speaker 01 That's a fact. You gonna, when are you going back to New York?
1:12:37 Speaker 02 Sunday morning.
1:12:38 Speaker 01 I leave New York Sunday morning.
1:12:40 Speaker 02 Okay, alright, next, next one.
1:12:41 Speaker 01 I've had to keep up a lie about my quote fake boyfriend.
1:12:48 Speaker 01 For way too long at this point. It started as a joke for my family members over the holiday. Someone took it seriously though, and it got back to their daughter, my friend, who was over the moon about this for me and told a bunch of people, who cares? They've all been super supportive and none of them are people I'm crazy close with. It has been literally six weeks of this now. And I want to nip it in the bud before the holiday season is over. Without too many follow up questions or people thinking I'm a freak, help. You just say it's a joke, it's like out of control. And you didn't know how to end it. You just need to be honest.
1:13:15 Speaker 01 Honestly, that's what I learned. Whenever I would get in trouble at school, I would just think, oh my god, I did it, I'm sorry.
1:13:19 Speaker 02 Yup, accountability is big.
1:13:21 Speaker 01 You want to know why I did that? Because one time I lied and the principal brought in the other person, like I, I had been playing the field with both people.
1:13:29 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:13:29 Speaker 01 And they, oh my god, I'll never forget it. Let's just say their names were like, um, Jenny and Casey. And Jenny and Casey got into a blowout fight. And the principal brought both Jenny and Casey in and I had been like talking shit about Casey with Jenny and about Jenny with Casey. And they brought them in and I literally was sitting there and they looked at me like, get fucked.
1:13:50 Speaker 02 Pick a side.
1:13:51 Speaker 01 I was 11.
1:13:52 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:13:52 Speaker 01 It was horrible.
1:13:53 Speaker 02 You were meant to do this.
1:13:55 Speaker 01 Do what?
1:13:56 Speaker 02 This is what you're doing.
1:13:57 Speaker 01 Okay, thank you. Jake and guest. So you, me and my best friend had to get a new roommate because our lease was up and our other roomie moved out. We found this amazing girl, we're both boys, who seemed really nice, sweet and energetic. Flash forward not only two weeks in and my friend and her have already started to flirt hardcore around the house. And have already kissed. So you're jealous. I'm happy for the two of them, but we're in a year-long lease and I don't want the whole thing to blow up. You're jealous. I know you, I know you say don't get involved, but this is sort of my problem too. No, it's not.
1:14:29 Speaker 02 No, it's not. And the whole thing of like, I don't want the whole thing to blow up. Why are you manifesting that? Maybe you want it to blow up.
1:14:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, maybe because you had a crush on the girl or you have a crush on the boy.
1:14:38 Speaker 02 Right.
1:14:39 Speaker 01 Wait, we didn't even really talk about your Netflix special enough. I don't think we talked about it enough. I don't think we talked about it enough.
1:14:45 Speaker 02 Let's talk a little bit about it.
1:14:46 Speaker 01 It's fantastic, American Boy. It's out on Netflix now. It would have already been out at this point.
1:14:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:14:50 Speaker 01 But the direction is incredible. Who directed it?
1:14:53 Speaker 02 Uh, Nicholas Goosen. He works with Adam Sandler. He's done a bunch of cool stuff.
1:14:56 Speaker 01 It's amazing.
1:14:57 Speaker 02 Thank you.
1:14:57 Speaker 01 Um, how, you said it's the hardest you've worked on anything ever. And I know we kind of touched on that earlier.
1:15:03 Speaker 02 I can explain.
1:15:04 Speaker 01 What did you mean by that?
1:15:05 Speaker 02 Um, so basically when you, when you first, when you film a special, before I filmed a special, I, and I said this yesterday on, on the Doc Shepherd Show, but, um, it was crazy because I was freaking out and I was trying to get guidance from anybody, like. Help and I called Dave Chappelle because he has done a million of these.
1:15:23 Speaker 01 Right.
1:15:24 Speaker 02 And I called him and he told me, he gave me a few pieces of advice. Um, and I actually said this on Tiger, but like not on the actual show. But, um, he told me just little things to remember about the cameras, about the lighting of the audience.
1:15:38 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
1:15:39 Speaker 02 And stuff that I wouldn't have thought of that was very technical stuff that I needed to hear. Um, and so I came in with that mindset of like, okay, I'm going to do everything I can to make this as good as possible. And so we did that. Um, it was also drama because the shirt that I wanted to wear for the special, we tried to get multiples because you sweat through the shirt and you need another one. The shirt is a one of one vintage shirt, so there's no multiples. There's one shirt. So after I finished each show, my mom who was there the whole week, she's taking it off. She's spraying, she's doing the thing with a air blow dryer.
1:16:10 Speaker 01 That was shot over multiple nights?
1:16:11 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
1:16:12 Speaker 01 That wasn't one night?
1:16:13 Speaker 02 No.
1:16:14 Speaker 01 You've done an excellent job at making me think, wow, talk about movie magic.
1:16:18 Speaker 02 Movie magic. I'm so glad you said that. I was nervous about that.
1:16:20 Speaker 01 That was over multiple days?
1:16:22 Speaker 02 We filmed six, Jake.
1:16:23 Speaker 01 No.
1:16:24 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:16:24 Speaker 01 No. And your best friend out there sat front row every time?
1:16:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, no, he was at the, that was movie magic.
1:16:32 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. Did you guys plan the dap up at the end?
1:16:34 Speaker 02 I planned the dap up.
1:16:35 Speaker 01 Okay, because it was really smooth.
1:16:36 Speaker 02 I actually made, I, I decided the entire seating chart based on the dap up.
1:16:41 Speaker 01 Really? Well, it was very smooth and worked.
1:16:43 Speaker 02 Thank you.
1:16:43 Speaker 01 It was amazing. And your mom introducing you was also very sweet.
1:16:45 Speaker 02 She's adorable. Um, and, uh, yeah, so that part was crazy. The shirt thing was a fiasco and then it was doing the shows, great. Have a fun night afterwards, after party, everybody's there. My, all my family came to visit me. My uncle passed away right before.
1:17:04 Speaker 01 I'm sorry.
1:17:04 Speaker 02 So it was like, kind of like in memory of him and my tío Pepito, who I love so much. And I have a letter P here. My girl got me this necklace and it has a letter P on it. And, um, his, you know, his widow came and his kids who I love so much, Jose Ignacio and, um, Nico and Vicky. And, uh, I got to see them and they got to see me do this thing. And a lot of my family and friends and my dad and my stepdad and everybody was there. And, um, my sister, of course, and, um, It was a big moment, have fun, and then afterwards, two weeks later, you have to get into editing.
1:17:41 Speaker 02 And the editing was insane. I spent a week, nine hours a day with my director, going literally moment by moment, breath by breath, cutting to different camera shots. I know every shot of the show, I am like, I had to watch it so many times. We did an audio pass where we just listened to it, then we had to do a visual pass, and then we did, I probably did like four or five different sessions on my own where I went through it and I wa- and I wrote notes on everything.
1:18:07 Speaker 01 What's an example of a note? Like, why would you cut?
1:18:10 Speaker 02 I don't wanna cut to this camera angle cuz my face, you can't really see my face in this, and you have to see my face cuz it's a reaction.
1:18:15 Speaker 01 Got it, got it, got it.
1:18:16 Speaker 02 Um, I don't like this shot, I think it's too dark. I don't think, I think because it's too dark, you're kinda gonna lose interest. I think we're cutting too much between these two jokes. I think we should stick in one camera shot. A lot of that stuff, and then, and then you're doing audio stuff, like, you're, he's so sick of listening.
1:18:34 Speaker 01 Me what? No, I'm not!
1:18:35 Speaker 02 You're do- it doesn't matter. You're doing audio shots.
1:18:37 Speaker 01 No, I'm not. Why would you say that?
1:18:38 Speaker 02 I don't know, I just felt it.
1:18:39 Speaker 01 I thought I was doing, literally as I'm listening to you, I'm like, wow, I'm really interested in this.
1:18:44 Speaker 02 Okay, great, great, great. I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm just, I'm just projecting. Listen, um, so, the audio passes, are you listening to it and being like, I didn't like that laugh, was that the real laugh? Did you bump it up? Did you bring it down? What did you do to that? Is that fake? It sounds too loud. I think that, that, that you, you juiced it. You bumped it. I don't wanna bump it. I don't wanna lie. I want it to be real. If they didn't laugh that hard, then they didn't laugh that hard. So it was like, doing that a lot, and it was a lot.
1:19:12 Speaker 01 So what, so how?
1:19:14 Speaker 02 My brother, my stepbrother watched the whole thing and gave me notes. I had to send it to another friend of mine who watched it and gave me notes. You know, my mom would watch it and think about, you know, my mom was like, I have flyaways in my hair, can we fix that with, with movie magic?
1:19:26 Speaker 01 Did you fix it with movie?
1:19:27 Speaker 02 Of course. Um, so it was, it was just so much, so much investment into it, and then even till now, this, this is investing in it, this is working on it.
1:19:37 Speaker 01 Right.
1:19:37 Speaker 02 Promoting it and doing all this stuff, and I had never really done podcasts before.
1:19:40 Speaker 01 You've been speaking about this for quite some time.
1:19:42 Speaker 02 About this, you've been, I've been wanting to do your show, and I haven't been able to cuz I told you I wanted to have my special done.
1:19:46 Speaker 01 You did tell me that.
1:19:47 Speaker 02 And I did, and now here I am.
1:19:48 Speaker 01 You're a man of your word.
1:19:49 Speaker 02 Thank you very much.
1:19:51 Speaker 01 And I love you.
1:19:52 Speaker 02 I love you too, buddy.
1:19:54 Speaker 01 Do you mean it?
1:19:55 Speaker 02 I don't know.
1:19:55 Speaker 01 Okay. Well, today I learned that maybe praying is good for me.
1:20:00 Speaker 02 You should try it.
1:20:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, I should try it.
1:20:02 Speaker 02 Even as just a meditation, I think it's a beautiful thing.
1:20:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, I agree. Well, Marcelo, thanks for coming on the show.
1:20:07 Speaker 02 You're welcome for coming on the show, and I want to tell you that I'm very, very proud of you. And this is so exciting, and you just sold this to Netflix. And you used to be an assistant at a record label, and you made it out, and you're making a real name for yourself. And you're sitting here next to some super famous people. I'm watching you reach every person that you've wanted is coming, and Taylor is coming. I'm gonna manifest it.
1:20:26 Speaker 01 That's very sweet.
1:20:26 Speaker 02 She will do it. And I'm proud of you, and I'm grateful for you, and I hope you enjoy your gifts.
1:20:31 Speaker 01 I love you. Thank you for my gifts. I am proud of you.
1:20:34 Speaker 02 You're welcome.
1:20:34 Speaker 01 And I'm grateful for you as well.
1:20:36 Speaker 02 Thank you, and love, bro.
1:20:37 Speaker 01 Love. You want to give a little bye pussies?
1:20:41 Speaker 02 Goodbye pussies.
1:20:43 Speaker 01 Yay!
1:21:00 Speaker 04 When everyone's finally together, what makes mornings even brighter? Keeping things deliciously simple. Whether you're pouring up a glass of morning refreshment or topping off festive drinks for a family brunch, Simply Orange brings that 100% fresh squeezed taste to every moment. Deliciously bright and delightfully easy, Simply Orange is made for all your seasonal gatherings. Simply Orange. Say yes to simple.
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