The Improv with Richard Porter and Johnny Smith (Smith and Sniff)

Jonny Smith (Fifth Gear, Late Brake Show) and Richard Porter (Top Gear, The Grand Tour) of "Smith and Sniff" join us for a live show at the famous Irvine Improv. https://smithandsniff.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jonnycarpervert/ https://www.instagram.com/sniff_petrol/ *The audio file from the improv didn't allow me to adjust individual levels so I used Adobe Premiere's software to help with it. It improved the levels a LOT but you might hear some weird things during applause or audience interaction. Show Notes: Fitbod' Get 25% off your Fitbod subscription or try the app FREE for seven days at Fitbod.me/TIRE. Quince Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://Quince.com/tire. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too Use Off The Record! and ALWAYS fight your tickets! For a 10% discount on your first case go to https://www.offtherecord.com/TST Want your question answered? Want to watch the live stream, get ad-free podcasts, or exclusive podcasts? Join our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thesmokingtirepodcast Instagram: https://www. Instagram.com/thesmokingtire https://www. Instagram.com/therealzackklapman

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt Farah?

  What up, everybody? Welcome to the Smoking Tire Podcast. Today's episode is brought to you by Off the Record. I am using Off the Record right now. I have an open case with Off the Record because the state accused me of doing something that I firmly insist I didn't do. And Off the Record is representing me in this matter. Well, more accurately, they have connected me with an extremely qualified attorney in LA County that is dealing with this matter. And that's what they can do for you. If you get a ticket anywhere in the United States, don't plead guilty. Get Off the Record. Off the Record will connect you with a qualified attorney in the jurisdiction where you got that ticket. Fight that ticket on your behalf.

• 0:45Matt Farah?

  All you have to do is go to offtherecord.com/tst. That's offtherecord.com/tst and get 10% off all legal services booked through Off the Record. One more time, that's offtherecord.com/tst. All right, folks, on this one, Zach and I are down in Irvine at the Improv Comedy Club with our pals Johnny Smith and Richard Porter, aka the Smith and Sniff Podcast from the UK. This is a great time. We have never done a show with these guys before. They are so funny. They've been around forever. And Richard was also the head scriptwriter at both Top Gear and The Grand Tour.

• 1:30Matt Farah?

  It was great to be on a show with these guys. The audience loved it, and you guys will too. It's TSTX, Smith and Sniff, live from the Irvine Improv on the Smoking Tire Podcast. Let's go.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  I'm going to put this fucking stupid thing for Matt and Zach. I'll know when it's done. Oh, shit. Hi, everybody. What's going on? It's Christian James Hand. Welcome. Welcome. A round of applause. So the guys asked me, we just came back from Detroit doing our show out there. Boy, our arms tired. So they asked me to come out and do some stand-up real quick. So I'm going to start with some... Hey, man, what's your name? Great. All right, so, um, what's your name? Yeah, so are you guys ready for an hour and a half of some fucking nerdy car talk? We're going to put that on the poster, but we decided it wasn't necessarily the best

• 2:30Speaker 01

  marketing to go with. So I'm going to bring out two of my closest friends and travel compadres who usually get me upgrade to business or first, so I can sit and fucking coach, which is so cool, considering I do most of the hard work. So with no further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Zach Kaplan and Matt Farah of the Smoking Tire. Hi, y'all. Whoa. Over here. Hey, yo. I'm over here now. Hi, guys.

• 2:57Matt Farah?

  That's a really polite clap. It's like almost awkwardly polite. Hello? Is this what happens when you come to Orange County? We get the really polite clap?

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Christian sits and coach because he doesn't know my last name.

• 3:12Matt Farah?

  Forgive, forgive. Forgive Zach's speeding of the cameras. We make an actual show out of this. Hi. It's so nice to see you guys here, especially because I drove down here and I know what it fucking takes. We could have, we could have done this show in Denver and I could have left my house at the same exact goddamn time. It's a real pleasure to have you guys here with us tonight. I hope everyone's food is tasty, beverages are cold, and I want to bring out our special guests on this live episode of the Smoking Tire Podcast, all the way from the UK, two

• 3:56Matt Farah?

  people who have much longer and healthier careers than both of us.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Well, they have the healthcare there.

• 4:02Matt Farah?

  Health, ah, it's universal healthcare, that's why. And, uh, man, they have the stories and they are wonderful, wonderful folks. It's a real treat to hang out with them. Let's get them on stage. The hosts of the Smith and Sniff Podcast, Richard Porter and Johnny Smith. Let's go. Come on, you guys. Sit in this, sit in this beautifully distanced chair. Man.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  This is the Atlantic Ocean between us.

• 4:32Matt Farah?

  Well, this is, right? We're going to replay a battle. Hi, how's our sound? We sound good? We're okay. Everybody all right? Nice to see some friendly faces. Uh, we were, because we're so separate. It's, it's so separate. It's so separate. They were doing the Monterey Car Week. Chuh la la. We were doing the Detroit Woodward Dream Cruise shit show, and boy, did we have different experiences this weekend. Look at their wrists. Doesn't, okay, we're just gonna, I mean, seriously, guys. At one point, we walked up to try and get in somewhere, and the lady just went, "I'm

• 5:17Matt Farah?

  sure it's in there somewhere." It wasn't, because what we've been doing all Car Week is what we like to call Hugh granting it. Do you take the Englishness and you increase it by a thousand percent? Yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm terribly sorry. I've just run over your dog. Can I come into your event? Of course you can. Yeah, no problem at all. It's in there somewhere. This, by the way, is the exact same strategy I told Richard to employ if we got pulled over today driving down here.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:49Matt Farah?

  I said, "Increase befuddlement to 12, and we will be just fine." Because it's always been my understanding, there's on the American highway, that there's the car share lane, right? And if there's double yellows, you do not cross them, right? But from the backseat, Zach went, "Hey, Richard, you know, if you cross over into that lane." And I thought he was about to...

• 6:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. I said, "Well, you know, you can use the carpool lane." And I had not...

• 6:10Matt Farah?

  And he was...

• 6:11Speaker 02

  I took a pause, I took a pause to breathe, and he just moved over, and he said, "Is that legal?" I said, "No," but I hadn't finished talking.

• 6:18Matt Farah?

  We went, we went four up with eight people's worth of luggage, apparently, in the Genesis on the way down here. It was crunchy in this thing. Did you guys, are you moving back to England from Pebble Beach? How do you have this much stuff in your car? Well, most of it was food, because I was told about the length of the drive from LA to Irvine, so... Truth.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  I figured you were just stealing our museum's artifacts to put in your museums.

• 6:47Matt Farah?

  Yeah. We're happy we've got the Elgin Marbles now, so we're moving on to your shit. Right. So I do, you know, we haven't actually talked about Car Week at all on the Smoking Tire Podcast, live or studio. We've done some bits about Woodward. And, and before we talk about, and get some, some expert in-person opinions on some of the big reveals from Car Week this year, I am insulted by the number of bracelets and, well, and therefore they must go. But I want to know, we have to know what they're all for. Can you identify each of the bracelets on your arm, or have you forgotten? Okay, that's light colored trousers event.

• 7:31Matt Farah?

  That was quite a special one. That was the celebration of rich man's Panama hats. Yeah. You got a problem with hats? Yes. This one was a look at the latest advances in chino trouser technology. And this one was an opportunity to browse 17 different kinds of rich white guy. So, pretty standard, really. Yeah. That is the, the first season of Clarkson's Farm where they go to buy a cow or something, and it's every speech of a white man is one of the best jokes in, in modern television. So, seriously, are none of these notable, other for, other than the number of old white people that were there? Well, no. For any reason?

• 8:13Matt Farah?

  We went to an auction, uh, we got, we, we ate some food in that one. Yeah, I had the roast swan, I think you had a... This one said, this one says "Super Sports" on it. Does that mean anything? No, that was the same party, but faster. Super, it's a rear-wheel drive. Okay, the, four of these are Bentley, are, okay, all right, it's time to go. None of these are, none of these are that precious. Do you just mind the skin? Nah, well, yeah, also, speaking of not precious, oh, wow, this is... I do, I do look like a festival. I'm really sorry. I thought that it was going to be like a, it was going to make a sword sound, you know, like, like sabering a champagne bottle, and no, it's... My favorite one, the safe. It turns out, these are theft resistant.

• 8:58Matt Farah?

  And shit, this was going to be such a good bit, you guys. Oh, there's one. Oh, my God. That's it. All right, it's when you get some inertia. Yeah. Guys, the improv, we need to work on our scissor bit. So much, so much chafing. This one here, just below the Bentley one and above the Bentley, is Motor Lux, which was a party we went to. I don't... Oh, yes. Like being in an early 2000s R&B video.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 9:25Matt Farah?

  Lots of private jets, lots of supercars, lots of ladies in sort of quite skimpy dresses. Another go on there. And then two pasty English goings, "Oh, I'm so sorry, could I have swan, please?" So it is very possible to divide the major events at Monterey Car Week by what drugs would be optimized to do there. Okay? And the, the Motor Lux party at the Jet Center? Well, that's cocaine. Yeah. That is a, that is a cocaine party. I saw a dog wearing a sequin jumpsuit. See? Poked off his head.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, that's a drug sniffing dog.

• 10:04Matt Farah?

  The thing about dogs...

• 10:05Speaker 02

  But it's sniffing...

• 10:06Matt Farah?

  They're very, they're very good with their noses, so it's... And then you have the Quail, which is 100% hallucinogens. And, and I say that because last year, we went to the Quail, and the number of people I spoke to were like, "Do it on fucking balls right now," was more than five and less than 15. And these are people I know personally, and some of them bought cars like that, which explains certain specifications. And if you look, if you look at a certain car, if you look at like a new hypercar that was delivered maybe even this year, it was almost certainly ordered last year at the Quail by somebody who was tripping their fucking balls off on about an eighth of mushrooms. Can you imagine specing a car on?

• 10:51Matt Farah?

  Disco biscuits. Have you seen the blue tire?

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:55Matt Farah?

  Of the Louis Vuitton Singer? Yes. I rest my case.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  I'm gonna learn to surf. I swear to God, I'm gonna learn to surf. Just put it on the car. Covering Louis Vuitton, the windshield too. Yeah.

• 11:07Matt Farah?

  Was it you that said that the gear gator looks like a lady area? Vi- Is that right? No, it's a, it's a- A pouch? Have you seen it? Have you guys seen the Louis Vuitton shifter boot on the Singer? It's a butthole, you guys. It's a butthole with, uh, some kind of worm thing out of it. I mean, it's, it's basically a butthole.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Very, very expensive.

• 11:32Matt Farah?

  Not, ladies do have them, John. Yes, but also not unique to ladies. I don't know. Um, let's, let's talk about some of the big car chat. This is going tremendously well. Did you guys know what you were getting into? Coming with us? Okay. No, because I got offered some mushrooms by a guy at the Quail and I, I just thought they were just, you know, for putting in the results.

• 11:54Matt Farah?

  The, let's talk about some of the big Car Week reveals, courtesy of our friends at Road and Drag. We did not pay for that subscription to see these up. This one is, this one is the important one. This is the big one that actually I think most people are happy about. This is the new McLaren. It's called M, MI6, something like that. MI6? It's the FBI 12. It's, it's a stick shift. That's what we, that's what we care about, right? Right? Jesus. What, are you guys not into this here? What the fuck? You're not into stick shift McLarens and Irvine? What's going on?

• 12:28Speaker 02

  They live in traffic. They're an automatic family.

• 12:30Matt Farah?

  I guess, but this is good, right? This is really good. Uh, not good? Right. It doesn't look like a McLaren to me. It just looks like a car. I saw the picture before I saw what it was and I just went, oh, that's like Zinger or someone have come up with something new. Doesn't look like a McLaren to me. And quite honestly, I, I'm a bit over, like, a manual is great in certain cars. Some cars, doesn't matter. We met so many people in Car Week who are like psychotically obsessed with manual. Yeah. And we go, yeah, I just bought a new microwave. Is it manual? I don't know. I don't care. Everything doesn't have to be manual. Some things are good manual, some things are not. And I, that, I'm like, is, okay, I'm down with it.

• 13:15Matt Farah?

  I look forward to seeing if McLaren make a good manual. Yeah. I've not seen that before, at least since 1994 anyway. I, I don't know. I, it, I agree with you. It does not look like a, uh, the McLarens that we're used to, but neither did the 720 when it came out, right? That's true, that's true. That looked different, yeah. And it, and you've seen the side by side with the old car that Bruce McLaren drew and there's, they've done a better job there, like Ferrari, the 84, have you seen an 849 in person? No. Like, that's a fucking shambles. This at least is cohesive. Yeah. Hey, speaking of which, uh, I was on the same flight as Gordon Murray coming over here. He, he told me this on the car right now. That motherfucker flies commercial? You believe that? Yeah.

• 13:57Matt Farah?

  Gordon Murray, five million bucks a car. Homie's on BA, flying fucking 22C. What, do you think he like just flies himself? I think some geek flies him. He checked his 20 grand bag in.

• 14:11Matt Farah?

  That sounds like he's a drug dealer. Yeah. That's not what I meant. No, but he's a very light bag guy. Gordon Murray. Um, famously, everything is about lightweight and efficiency and, uh, I saw him in a branch of Starbucks that he throw up. And this is not a joke, by the way. I saw the Starbucks eating a bag of popcorn, the lightest of the snacks.

• 14:32Matt Farah?

  And then I looked out of the window at our gate and I was like, oh no, we're flying on A380, the heaviest of the planes. What's a nightmare for him? Yeah. He wants to eat that. And then the plane was broken. Genuinely, the plane was broken and we were delayed three hours. And I was like, if only we had one of the world's greatest engineers just sitting there going, I might go and get another bag. Well, we're in here. He would fly on a Dreamliner, which I think is the- Carbon fibre. Yeah. Yeah. Worst of every- What actually happened is they went, okay, finally the plane is fixed. It was a problem with the undercarriage. Always something you want to hear. What the bit that touches the ground? Okay. And, um, and so they went, yeah, it's fine. The, the undercarriage is now fixed. No problem. We changed the tyres just to be on the safe side. I thought Gordon Murray's going, yes, pit stop. Good.

• 15:18Matt Farah?

  But then they went, uh, so you're free to start boarding. Oh, by the way, the in-flight entertainment is completely broken.

• 15:26Matt Farah?

  And Gordon Murray was like, they should be paying attention fully on the flight ahead. Well, that's what I thought. Gordon Murray just goes to his mind workshop and designs suspension for elevators. He's good. The rest of us are sitting there going, uh, shit, I could be watching Jaws 2 now, but, um, no. Also Gordon only sits in the middle aisle. That's what I'm saying. Center. One on each side. That's how he came up with it, you guys. Why would you have a window? He was like, this would be so much better if these two people were slightly behind. I would have legroom. I could even steer a car like that. I've been- Fucking crazy.

• 16:06Matt Farah?

  I've been to Gordon's toilet and you walk in the door and just an empty room with the, with just a lav in the middle of the room.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  The he, the handle in the middle of the, the tank.

• 16:16Matt Farah?

  Nothing in your way.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  No water to save weight.

• 16:19Matt Farah?

  It's a long way away. I, everything that you need immediately is right there.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Does it have an encouraging poster above it that says, add lightness to encourage you to, to take a shit?

• 16:29Matt Farah?

  I mean, it's literally what you're doing.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Right, exactly.

• 16:32Matt Farah?

  It's okay.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  It's the toilet. You walk out of there and he's like, you lost two pounds, didn't you?

• 16:35Matt Farah?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Never go to the cinema with Gordon Murray because I like to sit on the aisle so I can go to the rear in the middle of it. No, no, no, no. Gordon's in the middle every fucking time.

• 16:46Matt Farah?

  All right, let's see the next one. Folks taking a quick break because FitBod is coming in hot. We love FitBod here at the Smoking Tire and we're about to get into fall. You know what fall means? It's like leaves changing, warm vibes, back to school, back to work, being at home, building fires, all that stuff. You gotta change up your routine. You gotta motivate to get that new routine going. And that's why FitBod is here. It is so easy and I have found in my many, many years of trying to be in better shape, that getting into a rut and doing the same workout over and over

• 17:25Matt Farah?

  is the quickest way to waste your time, right? Because your body gets so used to it, it's just diminishing returns every time you do it. You're not getting as good of a workout the next time you do the same thing. That's why you've got to change it up, but you don't know how to change it up, right? If you got a personal trainer at home, they're going to change it up for you. You don't have to think, right? You don't have to, you don't have to go do research because they're just going to tell you, right? But personal trainers are very expensive. They're hard to find. Not everybody can do that. FitBod is like having a personal trainer in your pocket. They're right there with you.

• 18:02Matt Farah?

  From the videos that show you how to do the right, uh, moves, the right positioning so you don't get hurt, to the variations in your workout that can only come from professionals, right? FitBod creates a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and the available equipment at your gym. The workouts then adapt to your growth. So every session is challenging enough to push you to make progress. FitBod can then track your muscle recovery so you can avoid burnout and keep up your momentum. It's easy. FitBod builds the plan and you build the strength.

• 18:40Matt Farah?

  Now you can get 25% off your FitBod subscription or try the app free for seven days at fitbod.me/tire. That's F I T B O D dot M E slash tire. McLaren. I think that's good. Now, well, I mean, we should probably just skip by this because we just did it on accident. What the fuck is that? Move on. That's not the best. That's fucking silly. Can, can we, can we just quickly go back to that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. So me and Rich were having a conversation while we were bored in traffic earlier about, does anyone, does anyone play the guitar here? Badly, me. You? Yeah. What's the guitar accessory where you put basically a host pipe in your mouth like Bon Jovi's guitar?

• 19:25Matt Farah?

  A talk, like a talk box? I don't know. Like, um, what's Baby I Love To The Way? It's a Samson. Peter Frampton. It's a Samson. Yeah, talk box, yeah. So a snorkel on an off-road vehicle, quite cool. Yes. Host pipe in your mouth while you're a guitarist, less cool, I would say. No, I agree. But is this a, is it a real snorkel? I don't fucking know. We drove a car recently that had a fake snorkel. What? The Ineos Brenadier. That was a faux- A faux snorkel. It's a, they called it a dust snorkel, which is what you say when you can't build a fucking watertight snorkel. That's weirdly, I heard someone, um, at Motor Lux offering their friend the dust snorkel.

• 20:15Matt Farah?

  Don't know what that was. Hang on. Dust snorkels are nostril hairs. That's what a dust snorkel is. Sure, sure. But this thing, you wanted me to stop on this. Can I ask something? Yeah. What happened to the Octa? They made like a whole thing- Yeah. That was this, a different name, and then no one ever saw it again. And the chief design engineer, Jamal, who was a friend of mine- left the company to go make his own car. And then they just like, nobody ever saw him again. And now here's this new one. What's the fucking deal? Isn't that just an octa, but a bit more?

• 20:49Speaker 03

  It's a bit more jingle jangle. More, it's more jingle jangle in color, isn't it?

• 20:54Speaker 02

  They probably looked at the Porsche sales of the Dakar and they went, oh, we shouldn't have named it Octa, because no one knows what that means.

• 21:01Matt Farah?

  Yes. Okay.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  It's the feminine version of, of Ocho. I don't know. That's

• 21:06Matt Farah?

  Anybody have a problem with more? More seems okay, doesn't it? Sure.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Speaking of more.

• 21:10Matt Farah?

  Oh, hello. How do you go, how do you guys feel about? Hybrid? Super slash hyper cars?

• 21:18Speaker 03

  It's a problem for all those people that will never drive them, because you know, you've always got them on the chargers. And you're waiting for the prices to go up because that's basically all you do. And then you've got the fucking high voltage system, which is also going to need some sort of cycling. So it's a bit of an annoyance, really.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  It's basically a Christmas tree that you're waiting for it to appreciate. You plug it in, you let it sit there.

• 21:40Matt Farah?

  Don't these exist to get out of some kind of taxes in your fucking country? These don't help you here. And aren't these so you can go into London and? Live in London and drive this without?

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Sort of.

• 21:52Matt Farah?

  Sort of. How does that work? Because we're, we don't know. Well, um. Well, basically, so right. First of all, imagine that you live in London. Then secondly.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Okay, close your eyes.

• 22:02Matt Farah?

  Life instantly better. Okay.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  It's cold.

• 22:06Matt Farah?

  But then, but then imagine you're a silly prick. And then you buy a So will I ever relate to that.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Work hard, man.

• 22:14Matt Farah?

  And then, and then you buy a supercar, but? There's a worry that it may fall foul of? The congestion charge which you have to pay to go in, but hybrids may be exempt if their CO2 emissions are below a certain threshold. Hybrids, if they can drive? For a certain distance on electric power only, technically their CO2 emissions are zero. Yeah. For that tier. And that may exempt you from paying congestion. And how much is the congestion charge? Uh, 12 pounds 50. So let me get this

• 22:42Speaker 03

  What?

• 22:44Matt Farah?

  Let's, let's hang this shit out together, because like, I am not great at math. But like? I'm okay at it. And so? 12 pounds 50? Per day.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's that, 18?

• 22:58Matt Farah?

  Per day, times, you know, 365 days a year.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:02Matt Farah?

  Okay, that's, that's some money.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:05Matt Farah?

  But? This has a whole extra? Powertrain in it and all this extra bullshit.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:12Matt Farah?

  To avoid? That. And because of, to avoid the, you know, let's five

• 23:18Speaker 02

  4,500 bucks a year.

• 23:19Matt Farah?

  4,500?

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:20Matt Farah?

  To avoid 4,500 a year?

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:22Matt Farah?

  You spend an extra 100,000.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:25Matt Farah?

  On this.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  I refer you back to my

• 23:27Matt Farah?

  This is silly. Fucking dope math, you guys. I, I love when math works out like this.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  There was a period

• 23:33Matt Farah?

  Like this show. The congestion charge, you were exempt from it if? You were a taxi. Not a black taxi, a minicab, an Uber. People were registering. Vehicles urgent. SLs as taxi. Yes. To get around it.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 23:49Matt Farah?

  Are you required to operate as a taxi for like one hour a month or something? No, maybe if they came Slip on the Uber. To your SL, you just, before they come around, you just vomit in the footwell.

• 24:01Matt Farah?

  And leave a few bits of kebab and some fries on the floor. And they'll go, well, this checks out. Definitely a taxi.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  That's a very good point.

• 24:07Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  Um, what I would say about that is it, not that, the, uh, the, the Lambo. At least it's not a anus, a Uranus.

• 24:15Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Because they are shit. And there's, uh, I saw one today. I couldn't tell you where.

• 24:21Matt Farah?

  We can't tell you who's in

• 24:22Speaker 03

  Uh, saw one today and it's just

• 24:24Matt Farah?

  Ben Mansory.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  It's a terrible.

• 24:26Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  A terrible vehicle.

• 24:28Matt Farah?

  Yeah, don't do that. Don't do.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  No way.

• 24:30Matt Farah?

  Let's see what's next, Zach. Oh, Spiker's back.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:34Matt Farah?

  Ain't no problem with Spiker being back. I see one very soft clap here, but you're a woman of taste. Spiker is objectively good. I'm gonna, I will die on that hill. The existence of Spiker.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they, I mean, the interiors are pretty flamboyant.

• 24:48Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  And good.

• 24:50Matt Farah?

  Art deco.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:51Matt Farah?

  It's like, it's like Ralph Nader never rode unsafe at any speed and they just kept making murderous interiors until now. It's brilliant, actually. But this is actually the same car they showed like 10 years ago, right? They just painted it and put gold wheels on it. That's the same shit, right? They're like, we're not.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I think this story on the actually worse. Like I feel like the hits are worse, the lights are different, but they, this, everything else is the same.

• 25:15Matt Farah?

  It's mostly same.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Mostly the same.

• 25:17Matt Farah?

  But like, is that bad?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:19Matt Farah?

  It still looks pretty good.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  I mean, that one, that one that was on display at the Peppa Quail.

• 25:25Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  It was very gold slash copper, extremely gold slash copper.

• 25:29Matt Farah?

  Extremely.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  If you don't like gold slash copper, just go, just walk away.

• 25:33Matt Farah?

  Was it gold? Are you talking about one color?

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Well, I don't think about two colors.

• 25:38Matt Farah?

  Next to each other.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  It's color. I'm color.

• 25:40Matt Farah?

  So like.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  I was struggling. I was just staring at it going, it's definitely either gold or copper. But it, it looks fucking expensive. If you were a pirate, you'd steal it. For sure. That's all I know.

• 25:52Matt Farah?

  You know, like, and you know, like Koenigsegg and Pagani now are like? Weaving gold into their body.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Well, that's how you smuggle it from one country to

• 25:59Speaker 03

  What, like, what Christian von Koenigsegg is weaving gold into his body?

• 26:03Matt Farah?

  His body.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  His actual body?

• 26:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah, he's hanging out with Peter Thiel. It's weird. Um, you know? You know, Sam Altman is buying all this shit.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Oh, good.

• 26:12Matt Farah?

  They're having weird conversations over it.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 26:15Matt Farah?

  Um, a few years ago, a friend of mine was talking to the boss of Spiker and he said, you know, I've driven your car and it understeers are locked. And, and the boss of Spiker, who's Dutch, went, yeah, you're not, because the thing you have to understand is that a lot of rich people are not good drivers.

• 26:31Matt Farah?

  And I Guys, taking one more break because support is coming in from Quince. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing on repeat? The sweater that goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants, or the tee you somehow always reach for first? That's the piece that makes getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Because Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, merino wool. The styles are timeless and versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for each day. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters start at just 60 bucks, giving you the softness and quality you expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag.

• 27:15Matt Farah?

  Quince has also got premium pants, fitted tees and polos, and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work across your whole wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And they work directly with ethical factories, cutting out the middleman, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. I've got a bunch of stuff from Quince and this page wants me to talk about that Mongolian cashmere, but it's been about 150 degrees in Los Angeles. So I'm talking about their linens. I got a couple linen button downs from Quince and they were very affordable. They were under $50. They're super comfortable, super durable, and the colors are just right.

• 27:59Matt Farah?

  And you can find your next fall favorites at Quince, assuming we actually have a fall. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/tire. You can get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E. Dot com slash tire. Quince.com slash tire. And now, back to the show.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Think he's probably right.

• 28:26Matt Farah?

  He was right. He's so Now he's got Spikers were amazing. They're the coolest. Yeah, couldn't give them away. Now they're worth a fortune. They're really fun to drive. This is a weird one. We've rolling up, we're looking at this Porsche flat.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  So

• 28:39Matt Farah?

  So this begs the question. Are? Recommissions of seven-year-old cars fucking newsworthy?

• 28:47Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:48Matt Farah?

  I, I said no. Because

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Hard, hard no.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Porsche did this. They made the 935, granted track only, but if you know someone in Montana, if you own one cow, you can figure it out. This looks like an uglier version of that and it's, it's a seven-year-old car paying homage to a 50, you know, 40-year-old car. And I don't think it's executed very well.

• 29:08Matt Farah?

  Like? I Porsche? Has got to be so mad? That Singer exists. Like they're so, just generally, it's, it's, it's good for Porsche, I think, but like? They're, they're in the recommissioning game now. I have, I have a couple of clients at WCCS? That are sent their Carrera GT Back to Porsche for recommissioning. They're they're in this, they have their own in-house Resto mod shit now. And cool, like, great, you want to send your car there, but I don't see this as newsworthy. Meanwhile, we're talking about it on stage.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, like

• 29:47Matt Farah?

  I bought tickets for it.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  So basically, the whole of car, we were saying, it was a bit of a Porsche overload for me. My bandwidth ran out in on day two. And I love Porsches, but the the problem that Singer's got is that we think in the same way that untattooed people are going to become rarer than tattooed people. The rarest Porsche is going to be a totally standard nine six four. It's going to be like the the modern day pangolin.

• 30:15Matt Farah?

  Probably, I mean, yeah.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  Until it gets ground up in certain countries and sprinkle it on your cock.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Allegedly, it might make it a bit wider.

• 30:25Matt Farah?

  I I used Pebble Beach to launch my new company, which is called Singa. And what we do is we buy Resto modded nine elevens and we turn them back to standard nine six fours. Thanks, sir. Oh, my God. That's a good use for AI. Get on it. Yeah. Yeah. I I mean, that, yeah, that's not very, hmm, it's not very nice. But I like the fact that Singer also, because Porsche don't like Singer very much, do they? But they tolerate them. They make them say nine eleven reimagined by Singer. They're not allowed to use the P word too much. And they're just there waiting for them to fuck up.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  What's the P?

• 31:00Matt Farah?

  Yeah, welcome to our new pork sandwich. And in case they get sued to buggering. Well, they're, I mean, they have the hardest core command C, command V of all time. There's the last five hundred words of it. It's like the the Davis Commission.

• 31:22Matt Farah?

  Don't sue me, motherfucker. It's like an entire essay.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  May cause cancer in California.

• 31:28Matt Farah?

  The value of your home may go down as well.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Please don't write this on your area.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Introductory APR, not the same.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Not to be taken internally.

• 31:35Matt Farah?

  Or my favorite one, I love it because it's weird for us in the UK, they don't advertise um, prescription medication on the TV. Um, because that's fucking insane. Isn't that crazy? But that's not

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Then how do you know what's good?

• 31:47Matt Farah?

  When you come to the US You know how to make spoilers happen.

• 31:52Matt Farah?

  But they they do that thing in US adverts, they go, ask your physician to prescribe this. And then the incredibly urgently spoken thing, may cause vehicular urgency is one of them. And I just go, no, thank. Yeah, yeah. Everything makes you just shit like crazy.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  It's like, are you tired of sneezing? May cause limb loss.

• 32:11Matt Farah?

  Warning, may cause increasing You can run through a field like a motherfucker.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can spin, run through a field and play piano and like smile with your friends.

• 32:20Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  But you'll be legless in a month.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  Uh, so are you glad you came out to like this?

• 32:25Matt Farah?

  To this, I mean, kind of real upscale commentary you've got from this budget. This is the Brabus Bodo Cabriolet. Did you guys see this thing out there? Yeah.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, we did, didn't we?

• 32:36Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:36Matt Farah?

  Did you like it? Yeah, I mean, yeah, we saw one. The weirdest thing is, and this is what is insane about Motor Week, because everyone has been will know. You sort of like, before you even get into any event, the car park is full of the craziest cars. There was a Bodo Coupe in the car.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, we parked next to it.

• 32:52Matt Farah?

  The black, the black one? Yeah, the black one. Then there was another black one and that one on the stand. So they have three. Those are, that's all three.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  They have three.

• 32:59Matt Farah?

  Yeah, there's black, black carbon and this one. There wasn't room for the third one, so they left it in the car. Yeah, it's an extra five hundred thousand to park the third one at the quail. Uh, there was the Aston Martin Vanquish underneath. Yeah, it's it, uh, it's a coach-built car, and I'm not trying to take away from their engineering and, you know, rebuilding and whatnot, but it's an Aston Martin Vanquish underneath. Yeah. Uh, but it's it's rather pretty, I think, you know? Yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  No, it was the one in the hardtop, the coupe that we saw in the car park.

• 33:28Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, that's some Corolla de Vil shit. Okay, great, moving on.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it looked good, looked good.

• 33:34Matt Farah?

  Oh, yeah. Um, now Gunster Works.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:39Matt Farah?

  Now, these are our friends. These guys are from here. These guys are like fifteen minutes up. Anybody actually work there? Are there any Gunther Works employees here? Raise your hand. Okay, good. Oh, it's fine. It's just, the hand just went up so fast and back down.

• 33:54Matt Farah?

  So fast you didn't see it. Um, we, Zach and I drove, um, their last car.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  F twenty six.

• 34:02Matt Farah?

  The the flat nose car.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  Stands for fuck. Twenty six.

• 34:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Says for fucking stop it in twenty twenty six, dude. I think it was, was it the quickest street car up the hill at Goodwood?

• 34:14Speaker 03

  It was quick.

• 34:14Matt Farah?

  It was top, top few, if not Yeah, it wasn't, yeah, but they were, they were shooting for it. Yeah, we drove it and we said fuck to the no, back it down, this is way too much. And then we're like, I have an idea. Take out more weight and make it a race car. So this is the full downforce version of that track day toy, really. Yeah, but it's okay, because my company, Singa, is going to get their hands on this.

• 34:40Matt Farah?

  It's going to be down to about two hundred and thirty horsepower. For one point three million, we'll turn it back to seven hundred and twenty horsepower a street car. They they've gone the full man tie. I mean, that's they're they're doing the the rear wheel spats, they're doing this well, that which starts a little glued on look, but but

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Which is interesting, because I watched Jaws two halfway through Car Week.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  I came back from my hotel room, uh, to my hotel room, and I'm not going to lie, I was fully pissed. Which over here means angry, but what I mean is drunk. And I turned the TV on when I should have just gone to bed and I was halfway through Jaws two. Like any normal person, I thought, yeah, I'll watch the rest of Jaws two. It's been at least twenty five years since I've seen this. And then I must have fallen asleep.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  That's a good story.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Because I woke up

• 35:30Speaker 03

  give the people what they want.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  But see, with the accent, we were all like, yeah, then what? Tell, tell us what it was like.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  I tell you what, I woke up with, uh, the curtains were still open, the lights were on. I hadn't even taken my shoes off, I still had my coat on. Uh, and I was covered in tree sap. So I think we had an okay evening. And I watched half of Jaws two. I would drop the mic, but unfortunately, I don't want to damage the floor or the microphone, so.

• 35:58Matt Farah?

  Have you heard this run?

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's evil.

• 36:00Matt Farah?

  That's what, what you really need to know about, have you heard it run, Zach? Hmm. It has a chopper cam like a big block. It it's a four hundred and sixty five horsepower naturally aspirated four. Like, it's the, it's like the choppy, it idles at like four RPM. It's incredibly aggressive and angry. Um, do we, as a, let's just show of applause. Do we think like two million dollar track day cars are good? Is this what we want?

• 36:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:31Matt Farah?

  Wow, fucking crickets. Not like this, okay, fuck it.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  I I'm all right with it, but it has to be street legal, even if it's very loosely.

• 36:38Matt Farah?

  Sure.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  To me.

• 36:39Matt Farah?

  This is street legal.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, so

• 36:41Matt Farah?

  I mean, ish.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  I mean, you might not want to.

• 36:43Matt Farah?

  Yeah, no, you wouldn't.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 36:44Matt Farah?

  Speaking of which, you know, Detroit. This is all, this is all like the the point oh oh one percent stuff. We were at like the, what is that? We were at the other

• 36:57Matt Farah?

  it's on your feet, brother. Ninety nine percent, which is burnouts, home-built shit. There's no auctions, there's no people talking about what their car is worth or what their car really costs. Have you fallen there? I have.

• 37:15Matt Farah?

  There's a lot of cops, there's an awful lot of cops in Detroit. Uh, this is when they close, this this video is when they close the road at at ten o'clock. They decide no more sand, no more shenanigans. And to do that, they ride up the road once and then down the road once. And then they clock out and go home and they go thanks, guys. And then out come the cars with the parachutes.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  I mean, oh, yeah.

• 37:42Matt Farah?

  This is the shit. This is where it gets real like, so like in in in in in Car Week, you'll see an old, like old race car being driven down the street, like nineteen seventy three, you know, NART Ferrari. In Woodward, you see a race car on the street that's on its way to go race on the street. And that is the real difference. We saw, we saw slicks.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, slick, dustings, wheelie bars.

• 38:10Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Parachutes, uh, people rolling coal and depositing soot on their own roof. Actually, one guy had the pipe.

• 38:17Matt Farah?

  One guy

• 38:19Speaker 02

  The pipe came out of the hood that far. And then he cut it. But the intake for the cabin filter for most vehicles directly behind this thing, and it kind of explains how his brain is working. But I just thought like, not a lot of forethought from that nineteen year old.

• 38:33Matt Farah?

  And I mean, and and there was a, there was a pattern, you know, like a, like a, like a blast pattern of the soot. At it just wrapped the cabin. In, I mean, it was fucking crazy. I don't know, this guy didn't have lung, insta lung cancer. But twelve, twelve o'clock, boys, uh, we saw a police chase.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Yes, we saw one on foot, too.

• 38:53Matt Farah?

  We did a foot, we saw a foot police chase. Foot police? Yes. No, no, wait, no, no, there was one of those at Pebble Beach Concourse as well. Just after the knife fight.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Well, no, this was, this was a police officer walked after a car because people in Detroit will do a burnout in traffic, thinking like, ah, they won't notice me. Then they notice you and you realize you are literally stuck in gridlock traffic. So the cop can just walk over and be like

• 39:16Speaker 02

  roll it down and then write the ticket. You can't go anywhere.

• 39:19Matt Farah?

  Getting pulled over on foot is truly embarrassing. I mean, that's, man, I've been pulled over by a bicycle before and that's a tough look. But foot? Get like, getting pulled over like by Nike Cortezes, like, you're like, dude. That's fucking bad.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  I I went to the Woodward Dream Cruise probably fourteen years ago. Well, whenever they first launched the Raptor, the full

• 39:43Matt Farah?

  Sure, yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  And I borrowed one from Ford. And I had a photographer with me because we were doing something for a magazine. And I was in the Dream Cruise thing and the photographer was stood in the back of the bed sort of holding on to the roll bar. And all these signs kept coming out, burnout, burnout, burnout. I was good for fifteen minutes or so. And then I was like, you know what? Who gives a shit? I'll just, I'll just smoke it. And I smoked it with him in the back, which I sort of forgot he was in the back for a while.

• 40:13Matt Farah?

  That happened, yeah. So many people have people in the bed of the truck.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:18Matt Farah?

  They act like they're not there and it's a full burnout into like full brakes?

• 40:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  So I didn't hear him shouting at me, but it's okay, he survived. But I did this burnout.

• 40:31Matt Farah?

  Hey, but he's alive.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Maybe thirty second burnout, you know, just for the cameras. And then when we, we didn't get pulled over by the police on foot or in a car. And then when we got stuck in some more traffic, I got out and thought, oh shit, I might have ruined the tyres. We've got to drive this to Ohio the next day. And I looked at the tyres and they still had the hair on the tyres, the brand new hair. So I thought, are these tyres made of mahogany?

• 40:52Matt Farah?

  Raptor.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. What do, what do you Americans put in your tyres? I mean, it's basically granite tyres.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Uh, gunpowder.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Gunpowder.

• 41:02Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  So we did another burnout and we just got rid of the hairs and they just look like random new tyres.

• 41:07Matt Farah?

  Pretty soon, all of our tyres are going to be like that. They have new, you know, have you seen these new rolling resistance laws? Liggett said this a lot. We have new, new laws for low rolling resistance and for particulate emissions and, you know, we're hoping they're going to carve out, you know, sticky track day tyres and obvious specialty tyres. But they're trying to reduce both of those things. And so we may end up with hard, long burnouts for, she says twenty minutes. She's really good for the info. Yeah, we're all going to be driving like seven.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  That is, that's more, that's conservation. In high school, my Pontiac had tyres that were, I don't know, BFG, BFG plastics. And I did burnouts for two years. When I sold the car, the tyres looked exactly the same as when I bought the car, I swear.

• 41:53Matt Farah?

  Um, so I, I gotta say, like, like, like the, the, the car week thing. Cause you guys went for the first time in several years.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Fifteen.

• 42:03Matt Farah?

  Fifteen.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, we had a fifteen year break.

• 42:06Matt Farah?

  Once every fifteen is good.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:08Matt Farah?

  So like the jadedness of people who go every year, did you not experience that because of once every fifteen? Yeah, I think we dodged all the people going, it's not as good as it used to be. And we were like, well, you don't.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  It's, it was good. I, I loved it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's, there's twats.

• 42:24Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  So you're, you're always going to find twats.

• 42:27Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  If you, if you want.

• 42:29Matt Farah?

  I mean, the main complaint is the pivot to hyper car dump. That's the complaint. Instead of it being about weird and eccentric classics. There's a lot of that. The, one of the things that blew our minds was just walking down like, I guess it's the Monterey sort of high street, as we would call it, and where all the restaurants and things are. And there was just a Ford RS200. Group B rally car there from the eighties.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. So we, we just started drinking and pointing at it. We were there for about an hour.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  It was really fun, but, but I think the, the.

• 43:02Matt Farah?

  You can't ever go back to Monterey after that.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  No, well, no.

• 43:05Matt Farah?

  It's bad.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  You can't.

• 43:06Matt Farah?

  Because of that area. Um, so that was good. And, uh, well, I just, it was all good. It was a bit, it was overwhelming. It was like overwhelming sort of glut of cars, but so fun and yent. Um, I, I don't know. I, I, it's hard to know if it's not as good as it used to be because we haven't been for ages. So we thought it was pretty damn good.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Two, two things I noticed. One, all the Corvettes were driven by young people.

• 43:28Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Goes against all of the stereotypes that I've ever heard. Who's buzzing?

• 43:33Matt Farah?

  Are you buzzing?

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Are you buzzing?

• 43:35Matt Farah?

  Check your little bug thing.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Are you buzzing?

• 43:37Matt Farah?

  I don't even know, Mankinians.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  I'm not moving.

• 43:39Matt Farah?

  I think, I think you're thinking about, yeah, we noticed this as well. And the C8 has become the transitional.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:47Matt Farah?

  Thing where now a bunch of young people, they're treating it like an exotic car.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:52Matt Farah?

  Except at least in Detroit, there were so many of them, they might as well have been Corollas. I was like, every third car.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  So they're, they're a popular car.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it looks like Timu Lamborghini. So of course the twenty year olds are going to show up.

• 44:03Matt Farah?

  Yeah, I think that's fine. But you're saying it's a gateway vet and then.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  It's a gateway.

• 44:07Matt Farah?

  C8 and then suddenly you're doing like C3s and shit like that.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Is the C8, the C8's weed.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  The C2, no one goes for the C1 because once you've gone there, that's it.

• 44:20Matt Farah?

  The C1 is. You're living in a abandoned house. It's like an Obium.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:24Matt Farah?

  You know, you're dead.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, slow, kind of quiet.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Your family have lost you.

• 44:29Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Want you in the C1 territory.

• 44:31Matt Farah?

  So I, it's a good, it, each would be a good palate cleanser for the other. I think.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Agree.

• 44:37Matt Farah?

  Yeah, is what I'm, is what I'm saying. And then both are worthy of your time. But they're happening at the same time, right? So exactly the same time.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 44:44Matt Farah?

  You have to pick a side.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Which is. It's just like Bloods and Crips.

• 44:48Matt Farah?

  Yeah. It's good for the SEO though to pick a side. I can't be like, you can't be like, here's a nuanced discussion about which one you might want to do this year. Ten years, ten reasons for battery.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  I would alternate because it's good for the soul.

• 45:03Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah, it is. No, no, it absolutely.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  I like Detroit. I used to go there every year for the auto show and it's sort of shriveled away and don't go to Detroit so much. So I once went for a walk in Detroit.

• 45:14Matt Farah?

  That's the thing they do there.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Listen up, listen up.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:18Matt Farah?

  They did the, can you believe?

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Average story, love. Is this like the Jaws story or is it?

• 45:23Speaker 03

  No, I went for a, I, I left my hotel. I took all my valuables off. All I had was my plastic hotel room key. I went for a walk. Less than five minutes into my walk, cop car came around and pulled up. And he said, excuse me, sir, what are you doing? I went, I'm going for a walk. He said, no.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  And I, and I said, no, I said, I'm just going for a walk. If that's okay. He said, not really. He said, are you a whore or a tramp? And I went.

• 45:54Matt Farah?

  It's how much money do you have?

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Well, I said, look, I'm, I'm definitely not a whore. I don't think I'm a tramp. He said, well, I'm going to have to escort you back to your hotel because the only people that walk the streets of Detroit are tramps and whores. And I went, I've only, I've only just left the hotel. And I just boomeranged straight back to my hotel room. That was that. So average story.

• 46:15Matt Farah?

  You're like, GM has put me up here. Like I'm on a press launch right now. What the fuck?

• 46:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really like that.

• 46:21Matt Farah?

  Was it like the Ren Center Hotel?

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was actually.

• 46:24Matt Farah?

  It was. I didn't get right outside General Motors office and they're like, sir, only whores are here.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:31Matt Farah?

  They're like, yeah, I mean, look, if they're, they're a slave to the market. I mean, obviously people are buying SUVs more and more, but the Escalade Platinum's a bit much, am I right?

• 46:41Speaker 03

  And this predated OnlyFans by years, Sergeant Cops. Different ballgame now.

• 46:46Matt Farah?

  Shall we play, shall we play a game?

• 46:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:48Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  All right.

• 46:49Matt Farah?

  So, uh, just one question. Yes, Zach, uh, because you know, I feel like we're, we're on your home turf. Is it acceptable when you do your live shows to order a drink from the stage? Yes. Okay.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 46:59Matt Farah?

  Is there anyone here who works at the bar? Her name is Barbara. Barbara's here for us. Barbara, if you're around, our friend Richard would like a drink, please. Could I have an Old Fashioned, please? Yay. For the, for the record.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Can I, can I ask each other, can I have a Moscow Mule, please?

• 47:15Matt Farah?

  Let's fucking go. We, this is dangerous for us because. Sugary, popper, tinned, fucking.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's in the UK.

• 47:21Matt Farah?

  Measures are done very, very strictly and here you guys have the free pour, a wonderful thing. But that caused Johnny to fall into a hedge in Monterey.

• 47:32Matt Farah?

  Earlier this week. Freedom pour, baby, freedom pour. And then unfortunately he finished close after watching Jaws 2.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  The curse of the free pour is real. I had no more drinks than I normally would have. But something, something was different. Something was very, very.

• 47:46Matt Farah?

  Two things, on the way home, before you fall into the hedge, you were going, I don't know why I'm so drunk. I said, because you've been drinking. And then the next morning you went, I still don't understand how that happened and my drink must have been spiked.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:59Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  I think someone sprinkled something naughty in my drink.

• 48:01Matt Farah?

  It's very normal, uh, in Northern California for men such as yourself to get drugged by people. That's very, very normal. Happens all the time.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Is that why I ordered that Ferrari?

• 48:14Matt Farah?

  I thought, why, how much did I bid on the Luchè? How much? Well, he's a man.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Oh, but it's, it's gorgeous though.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  The Alzheimer's drug.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  I got turned down from a club. I'm sorry. I got turned down from a club in Monterey for fuck's sake.

• 48:31Matt Farah?

  Did you really?

• 48:32Speaker 03

  They asked me for ID. I said, no, I haven't got any because I don't want to lose it while I'm out. They went, well, we're not letting you in. I went, I'm nearly fifty. What do you want from me?

• 48:40Matt Farah?

  Who?

• 48:41Speaker 03

  I've got a credit card. I can pay for drinks.

• 48:43Matt Farah?

  Wait, I'm not a sex pest. Wait, there's no love in Monterey?

• 48:47Speaker 03

  I got denied. Got denied.

• 48:49Matt Farah?

  Point of order, Johnny didn't take out his passport or his driving licence in case he lost them. But the next morning he realised he'd had the keys for a hundred and sixty thousand pound Bentley Bentayga in his pocket all night while he was falling into hedges. Yeah. For the record, in Detroit.

• 49:07Matt Farah?

  In Detroit, we had like,

• 49:10Matt Farah?

  what do you want to call it? Million bucks in cars in the driveway?

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:14Matt Farah?

  I didn't realise that on our Airbnb, you had to actively lock the doors to the house. So all night, every night, all one had to do was open the front door and look at the keys to the Ford GT. The Escalade V8 sitting right there. They could have had two delightfully free automobiles.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  But very hard to.

• 49:36Matt Farah?

  Every night, four nights I did it.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  You can't really sneak away in the V though. You started like, we started one day and down the street, a bunch of neighbours were having their own little muscle car party. And the, the V fired up and all five people turned their head like, what is that? And then they noticed it was an SUV and they just turned back to each other.

• 49:54Matt Farah?

  So true. Car is very silly. Yeah, it's a common problem that we have as, as, as Brits in the US that you hear an amazing sort of wet, lumpy V8 going down the street. You think, what is that? It could be a Pontiac GT or something like, you turn around, it's one of those fucking airport transfer buses.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Why do you have sexy engines in ordinary cars and things? It's so.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Old FedEx van with a Ford 34.

• 50:16Matt Farah?

  We went next to a van on the street today and, and I looked on the front, it was a Ford and it had that little Triton V8 badge. And it's like, can you imagine like in the UK, being a plumber who has a V8 petrol van? You know, they put a.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  You would have never made any money.

• 50:28Matt Farah?

  There's a Triton Gary.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Oh shit, yeah.

• 50:30Matt Farah?

  Yeah, before you get too excited, has anyone ever experienced one of these? This is the worst engine ever developed in the United States of America.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  I thought you were going to say it was.

• 50:41Matt Farah?

  This is shit, tireless shit. No, they put them in, you know what they put them in? Like the Cruise America RVs?

• 50:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 50:48Matt Farah?

  They're godless, they're terrible. It's a two-valve V10. Shit is trash, Brian. Two-valve shit across all ten cylinders. It's trash. We actually.

• 51:01Matt Farah?

  It's wheezy. Wheezy, bro. All right. Should we, should we reenact the Revolutionary War? We should.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, why not?

• 51:09Matt Farah?

  We should. Um, America versus England. Right? That's what you guys came here for, for us to actually have some black and white, binary fighting.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Is that right? Is that what you came here for?

• 51:19Matt Farah?

  America versus, no, it's not. Did someone go woo?

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:26Matt Farah?

  America versus England.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  We have a drink for...

• 51:29Matt Farah?

  Oh, waiter. Thanks, Babs.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  It's a thermite.

• 51:34Matt Farah?

  Thanks, Babs. Christian James Hand, ladies and gentlemen.

• 51:37Speaker 03

  In your ass.

• 51:39Matt Farah?

  Tea.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:40Matt Farah?

  He is our love.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Thank you, sir.

• 51:42Matt Farah?

  With the Babs, that's me. That'll be good. That's me. That's a... It's not a double. There's this much vodka and that much... What'd you do?

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Christian almost deleted the entire television, but it's okay.

• 51:54Matt Farah?

  Dude. Shit. All right. We're all good. England versus America. Whose worst cars are worse? This is the game. Not who makes better cars, who makes shittier cars. Okay?

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 52:15Matt Farah?

  And in order to accomplish this, Zach and I have thought of our old version of the shittiest British cars from an American perspective. And they're gonna give us an Englishman's version of the shittiest American cars. And so, we're probably not gonna end up on the actual shittiest cars, but this might be...

• 52:38Speaker 03

  I worry that I might own some of these. That's my main worry.

• 52:41Matt Farah?

  Well, look, I own something that's pretty close to one of the shittiest... I have owned one of them on my list. And I almost own another one. So, I'm not throwing stones at no glass houses here. I'm fully invested. Who's starting this game?

• 52:57Speaker 02

  You start.

• 52:58Matt Farah?

  I throw the first pitch?

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:59Matt Farah?

  Okay.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Do it. Are you...

• 53:02Speaker 02

  I got him ready.

• 53:03Matt Farah?

  Okay, you got him ready? Okay. Number one, in no particular order in my list of worst British cars, the Reliant Robin.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 53:12Matt Farah?

  Oh. The Reliant Robin. You've all seen the Top Gear film. And in fact, I mean, we have the head scriptwriter for Top Gear on the stage right now, Richard Porter. Whose book, behind-the-scenes book, is excellent. Thank you. If you wanna read it right back-to-back with Wilman's book, you can get a nice little competing perspective there. It was such a relief when Wilman's came out that it mostly corroborated vice. It was. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, he was gonna make you look like a liar. So, this is a car that was sold with three wheels. And anyone who knows anything about cars knows that cars that are sold with three wheels are sold specifically to get around safety regulations that are mainly designed to

• 53:57Matt Farah?

  apply to vehicles with four wheels. So, whether the single wheel is in the front or in the back, the only reason any car on the planet has three instead of four is to be less safe. That's the only reason there couldn't possibly be another one. Right, Richard? I'm not being rude, right? I'm looking at my phone, 'cause I have an amazing picture of a Reliant Robin. Okay. I'm gonna look for it and see if I can get it to you, Zach, before this segment is over.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  So, I... What I would say about the Reliant Robin, it used to be driven by a certain type of person, a man that would look like a garden gnome, who probably may... If he had a car license, he got banned from drink-driving. So, he just went back to his motorcycle license, which you sort of could get.

• 54:45Matt Farah?

  So, wait, hang on.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 54:47Matt Farah?

  In the UK, if you get your license taken away for drunk-driving, you can still ride a motorcycle?

• 54:54Speaker 02

  Well, it's a totally different vehicle, isn't it? It's only got two wheels in it.

• 54:58Matt Farah?

  That's fucking crazy!

• 55:00Speaker 03

  In France, yes, 100% you can. Because they have those sans permis cars, which aren't really cars.

• 55:08Matt Farah?

  Sans permis? A vet boot.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  They're drinking cars.

• 55:12Matt Farah?

  They are drinking... Is that the Citroen Ami and the Topolino?

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:17Matt Farah?

  You know about... Did you see Topolinos in car...

• 55:19Speaker 03

  Yes, I saw one.

• 55:20Matt Farah?

  Yeah. There were two Topolinos at the Dream Cruise. These shits are dope. I want one. Well, are you telling me I can drive one?

• 55:27Speaker 03

  Well, certainly. Yeah, check with local guidance before you do that. Or pretend to be Italian. But in France, if you get battered and you get caught drink-driving, not a great idea, right? You just go, "Fine. Tomorrow, I'll drive my sans permis piece of shit." Which is basically a moped-engined car that's made out of plastic, and it doesn't have to comply with almost anything. It has like mountain bike brakes.

• 55:54Matt Farah?

  Sick.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  It's an appalling mess of a car. I remember testing one once, and I said categorically, "It's just the worst new car I've ever driven." Because on idle, it vibrated the whole dashboard so viciously that it made me have double vision.

• 56:07Matt Farah?

  Wait, this? Are you talking about this? You're telling me that you are old enough to have tested this when it was new?

• 56:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 56:14Matt Farah?

  No? Oh, okay. All right, fine.

• 56:16Speaker 03

  But I didn't get into a club in Monterey.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  That's because you were neither a boy nor a girl, and it was the Boys and Girls Club. Like, men can't just walk in here, Johnny.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Well, look, guys, what I would say is, in the defense of the Reliant Robin, there's two things it's got going for it. Those sans permis cars are properly shit and slow. The Reliant Robin is not slow.

• 56:39Matt Farah?

  Okay.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  The engine of this is a very, very... Well, it's a...

• 56:44Matt Farah?

  It's quite racy. It's more alloy. It's a 50cc Revy.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Yep. And it was derived from many, many moons ago, the Austin Seven, which was a surprisingly spry engine. So, they're worryingly quick for what they are, but they're...

• 56:56Matt Farah?

  That's the only point against.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  But they're also worryingly tippy. They're a bit tippy, as you showed in your previous picture.

• 57:02Matt Farah?

  I don't know if people did see the Reliant Robin film that we did on Top Gear many years ago. To make it tip over, it was... We actually had to weld the diff. Spoiler alert.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:14Matt Farah?

  Because they are harder to tip over than it looks. And then, we were gonna film it, and the BBC Health and Safety people said, "Well, we're gonna have to get a stuntman in." And Jeremy went, "I don't wanna have a stuntman, I wanna do it myself. I've tipped these cars over many times at the Top Gear live shows. I just wanna do it myself." And he went, "But you can't, we need to get a stuntman. We need to find someone who is extremely qualified to tip them over." And he went, "That's me. I am Britain's most qualified man to tip over a Reliant." So, he did all his own stunts in this one. Yeah, they put a cage in it, too. You can see they put a seat and a cage in it. Do you know... Do you ever do stuff, are you working on something and with someone else, and you suddenly sort of have a breakthrough where you're just both delighted, you go, "This is going to work." The moment when we realized that we could drive a Reliant into a garage with an inspection

• 57:59Matt Farah?

  pit and the front would go... Then, it was like, "Well, we're gonna take the rest of the afternoon off, 'cause this is gonna be fucking great." Three-wheeled vehicles are such fucking trash, you guys. You can't straddle a pothole or a bump.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 58:15Matt Farah?

  Right?

• 58:15Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 58:16Matt Farah?

  They're all fucking shit.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  Well, how is it also that around the time this was developed, 'cause they sold it for like 30 years?

• 58:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  We in America had banned the three-wheeled off-road motorbike made by Honda, 'cause it was killing people.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  But you guys...

• 58:32Matt Farah?

  TC.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  Kept this, despite the knowledge of math and the existence of physics and teachers in schools.

• 58:37Matt Farah?

  Well, you didn't land on your head.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  That's true. I guess that is the difference.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  But also... Well, the only one didn't nearly die on one of those.

• 58:45Matt Farah?

  No. Exactly. No rock stars almost died.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  It's a pity to get any rock stars.

• 58:49Matt Farah?

  No, no, no. But we have to remember, Zach, is that the US authorities banned those three-wheeled Hondas 'cause people were dying. In the UK, we have socialized healthcare. We need an attrition rate or it gets too expensive.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 59:01Matt Farah?

  So, the Reliant is allowed to continue.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  You gotta cull the populace.

• 59:04Matt Farah?

  So, just leveling out, leveling out. So, you're saying socialized healthcare is more free, huh? Hmm. Okay. All right, now, I... Thank you. Tell me about America. I emailed you a picture of a Reliant doing something... It's not the Reliant that is the joy in this picture, it's what's sitting in it.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  This might take...

• 59:24Matt Farah?

  Okay.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Longer than you expect.

• 59:26Matt Farah?

  It'll be difficult to real-time do this. We're asking a lot of Zach. Yeah, no, no, it's not fair.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Do you... Do you what? What we should do is, we should send you a Reliant Robin over as a gift.

• 59:35Matt Farah?

  Oh, my God. It's a waste of five-year rule, you could have one.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:38Matt Farah?

  Here you go.

• 59:44Matt Farah?

  All right. That dog understands what's going on around it.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  I knew how to find that picture.

• 59:55Matt Farah?

  Holy... Did you Google depressed dog in depressing cars?

• 59:59Speaker 02

  Dog outside R.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  I've had that picture saved for years, and it's saved as sad dog in Reliant. Look at his little face.

• 1:00:08Matt Farah?

  You guys, this dog is waiting outside a 7-Eleven in a Reliant Robin, genuinely hoping its owner doesn't come back.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:00:20Matt Farah?

  Maybe the police officer that smashes the window and gets me out will have a car with four fucking wheels. Remember that. People, always remember, dogs die in shit cars.

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Matt Farah?

  Oh, my God, that's great. Okay, all right, so what is America's fifth shittest car, then?

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  We sort of... I don't think we rank them particularly, but we're gonna get the ball rolling.

• 1:00:43Matt Farah?

  I didn't do in order either. I don't know what else to say there. Get the ball rolling with the Cadillac Cimarron. But not actually called the Cadillac Cimarron, because dealers and advertising refer to it exclusively as Cimarron by Cadillac. The second sentence is right. As death by stabbing. Right. I'm gonna heart-take...

• 1:01:10Matt Farah?

  I love the color.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Oh, the color?

• 1:01:12Matt Farah?

  I love the color of this car. At baby, next car, we're painting this motherfucking color right here.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Johnny, what color is this to you?

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  That's the color that, um, you guys would say candy, the kind of color of butterscotch candy you get offered by a pedophile.

• 1:01:31Matt Farah?

  Yes, yes. That's just like the candy he gave me. Oh my god, it brings me back.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  Yes, to a different time.

• 1:01:41Matt Farah?

  Oh, thinking about the waves crashing on the island.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Yes, that as well.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  So, are we right in thinking that this was based upon the Chevrolet?

• 1:01:51Matt Farah?

  It's a Cavalier, yeah, Cavalier.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  We had a UK Cavalier, which is actually quite cool, sort of.

• 1:01:57Matt Farah?

  And this was a Cavalier with some leather. This is the worst example ever of badge engineering in Zedmore Motors.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Genuine leather seating areas.

• 1:02:10Matt Farah?

  You know what's so funny? Anyone know anything about leather here? That's like the shittiest le- genuine is like, this barely qualifies. It's like Taco Bell meat is technically beef. It's that for leather. That's what genuine leather is.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  I feel like they did that with seating areas. They couldn't call it seats. They had to call it an area.

• 1:02:28Matt Farah?

  It has a tack. It has a, this is, the things that were, that were features, also.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  Four-speed manual transmission.

• 1:02:38Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  Or a three-speed automatic.

• 1:02:40Matt Farah?

  You could gamble with a stick.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  A three-speed automatic, if it's a program to change up.

• 1:02:45Matt Farah?

  If you had a Cadillac, a functional Cadillac Cimarron with a stick, you would win a fucking diamond encrusted crown at Radwood. I've never even heard of one of those. But for the record, the seats, I'm gonna hot take, the seats are dope. Look at these seats. Aren't those delightful? Nah, actually, in real, no, but that's the Ferrari Luce steering wheel, I believe.

• 1:03:11Matt Farah?

  Tell me I'm wrong. Johnny, I was like, I found it, you guys. And that's the stick one. Look, it's a stick.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  So I made a couple of notes about this car, cause the, cause I just wanted to clarify why we thought it was so can.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  It's the first four-cylinder Cadillac since 1914.

• 1:03:34Speaker 03

  That displaced less than two liters for the first time since 1908. Had to a four-speed manual, which was the first manual Cadillac since 1953.

• 1:03:44Matt Farah?

  Oh.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  I don't think any of those things are particularly cool. Price tag was thousands more than the Cavalier, but Cadillac continued to snort mountains of powder and marketed it as a more efficient luxury alternative to a BMW or Volvo. Good luck with that.

• 1:03:59Matt Farah?

  Imagine this or a 325 IS.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  But you are in command.

• 1:04:05Matt Farah?

  Yo, the steering wheel's dope. I was like, right up, the steering wheel, right? It is. It is dope. I'm not fucking around. They, uh.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  I agree. I do like the steering wheel.

• 1:04:15Matt Farah?

  I looked up some of this earlier on. I saw this. Cause it also, I love the ellipsis in here. This, pause, is Cimarron by Cadillac.

• 1:04:27Matt Farah?

  It's amazing. Go on, turn the key. You are in command.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  It's an incredible piece of copyright. Isolated, crotched road noise by the acoustical insulation.

• 1:04:42Matt Farah?

  You know, uh. Words, words, words. It's shit, but it's the same shit there. The Escalade is this.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:50Matt Farah?

  Like, no offense, but like, go drive a Tahoe, an Energia, it's the same, they're still illing. This was the archetype of. This is, I think it's probably, this is, this was the low point, was it? It's genuinely sort of knocked Cadillac back.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  I mean, they're grasping for straws. They say, with air conditioning at hand, as if other car companies put it in other places.

• 1:05:08Matt Farah?

  Yeah, like an air conditioning at hand is a great.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  Stop, put air conditioning in the trunk.

• 1:05:14Matt Farah?

  Wow, yeah, it's shit. No, it's, it's, it's true. It's shit.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  Relax into the body-contoured, perforated, leather-faced bucket seat with lumber support.

• 1:05:24Matt Farah?

  They haven't stooped low enough to go, four wheels.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:05:28Matt Farah?

  That's where, that's where we still.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Now with engine.

• 1:05:32Matt Farah?

  These are brutal. These are brutal. The Robin and the Cimarron are, are low-hanging fruit. How about, all right, how about, how about I'll stretch it a little bit. How about the Rolls-Royce Camaro? The Camaro. Now, that's, that is actually a Chevy.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Oh, whoops, I mislabeled.

• 1:05:55Matt Farah?

  Which is not, is not on their list. That's on my list as a better-looking Tudor from 1984 compared to the Rolls-Royce Camaro. There we go.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, that's a Camaro.

• 1:06:07Matt Farah?

  Yes, that's a Camaro. That is.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  Camaro.

• 1:06:10Matt Farah?

  That's fucking heinous looking. This is, this is, this is, this was the most expensive car in the world by a factor of three in 1984. This was three times the price of the most expensive Mercedes or the most expensive Ferrari or a Lamborghini Countach. Triple, triple, look at this fucking thing. Are you kidding?

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  No, I, I, I find this one quite difficult to defend.

• 1:06:42Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  On the basis that, in my view, my humble view, if you drove one of these in the seventies or eighties, you were probably a sex offender.

• 1:06:54Matt Farah?

  Oh, this is the Jimmy Savile car, isn't it?

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:06:57Matt Farah?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  There's a big whiff of naughty, disgraced entertainer about this. And I'm like, that doesn't sit comfortably with me. So on that basis, also, a red Rolls-Royce, what the fuck even?

• 1:07:09Matt Farah?

  With a Landauer.

• 1:07:12Matt Farah?

  Nothing says they don't play his records on the radio anymore like a Rolls-Royce Camaro in your backstory.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  It's so, but if I was to turn up at the Woodward Dream Cruise next year with that tubbed eight nineties Pro Street.

• 1:07:25Matt Farah?

  There you go.

• 1:07:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  With a fluorescent pink swoosh on the side, wearing maybe a sleeveless t-shirt.

• 1:07:31Matt Farah?

  Are you sure?

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  And the Fiddler.

• 1:07:34Matt Farah?

  There, the, there is no, okay, there's proof of this. The Chevrolet Vega, the Mustang II, uh, the eighty Chevy Malibu are proof that there is no car that you can't unkind of ugly with a mini tub slicks and ladder bars. You're right. You're absolutely right. This would be it. Imagine this thing running like sixes of a lenko.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:07:59Matt Farah?

  I'm kind of in, actually.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  Because like a Mustang II is like taking a dick pic when you've got out of the cold sea.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  It's just something you'd never really do.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  It's a terrible car, I'm afraid. I think you guys.

• 1:08:14Matt Farah?

  We were, sorry to drag this down, but we were having some dinner last night in Los Angeles and.

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Didn't take dick pics.

• 1:08:21Matt Farah?

  No, but you suddenly told me that you'd interviewed Ron Jeremy, which I'd never knew before. And the wisdom that Ron Jeremy shared with you was how to photograph your own penis by twisting it slightly.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  I forgot about that. Yeah, honestly, this is true. This was, this is twenty-five years ago.

• 1:08:42Speaker 03

  Then I was, I'm sorry, this is a fact.

• 1:08:45Matt Farah?

  Put a fry down and just, just walked quietly into the sea.

• 1:08:50Matt Farah?

  Was this in the press launch for the new Jaguar XK or something?

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  Yes. No, but I once went to the.

• 1:08:57Matt Farah?

  They opened, the new factory with the Jaguar XE was going to be made, right? And it was very corporate. There's all the suits there, everyone, JLR management, the whole thing, lots of VIPs. I think there was some minor royalty there. They got Sterling Moss up to talk about it, cause he's an ex-Jaguar driver in the sixties. And Sterling Moss went, the great thing about a Jaguar is you could attract a lot of crumpets. And you could see all of the Jaguar management in the front row going.

• 1:09:22Matt Farah?

  They just talked about high-tech aluminium body, a lot of crumpets. It's a crumpet, which is, which is an old-fashioned British word for ladies that shouldn't be used. No.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  Sterling. And Ron Jeremy popped out of the bushes and he was like, hey, I'm gonna take two of these.

• 1:09:37Matt Farah?

  How Jaguar didn't put that on a t-shirt. Quite. Well, you know, the Type 01 marketing campaign is coming, isn't it? They ditched the, the Urals and the. Did you see it? I have seen it, yes. Is it, like the?

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  He's already fine written in it.

• 1:09:50Matt Farah?

  You rode it? I've driven it. You drove it? I drove it. It's a real car. Is it, is it a good car? Yeah, it's good. It's, they deliberately made it quite soft, so when you clog it, cause it's got about a thousand horsepower, it speedboats. That's fun. That's fun. Like old school, yeah. The, there, it's the opposite of, uh, of like Porsche Active Ride, where you, you go in a helicopters. Yes. It leans in, it leans in.

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  That's how I run when I'm drunk. I tend to.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  I tip in.

• 1:10:19Matt Farah?

  You know what, straight up.

• 1:10:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:22Matt Farah?

  Ask me how I know if you happen to be shuttling drunk people home, that feature is better for that.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:10:28Matt Farah?

  It reduces their motion sickness. Potential.

• 1:10:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:10:32Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:34Matt Farah?

  Your next American shitter, please.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:37Matt Farah?

  What's my next one, Johnny?

• 1:10:38Speaker 03

  Uh, well, we've got a few treats. I'll just check my phone. Hello.

• 1:10:43Matt Farah?

  Fucking preparedness that you've. Yeah, I'm sorry.

• 1:10:46Speaker 03

  Well, I know.

• 1:10:47Matt Farah?

  While we were preparing. You don't have a beautiful handwritten.

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  No, I don't. I just.

• 1:10:51Matt Farah?

  Okay, hold on. I'll go in on this one. The Oldsmobile Delta 88.

• 1:10:57Speaker 03

  Diesel.

• 1:10:58Matt Farah?

  The diesel, the diesel. Sorry, shit.

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  Do you guys say diesel or diesel? Because I've heard diesel in America.

• 1:11:05Matt Farah?

  Diesel.

• 1:11:06Speaker 03

  Diesel.

• 1:11:06Matt Farah?

  The S is pronounced with a Z.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:11:10Matt Farah?

  Diesel.

• 1:11:10Speaker 03

  Diesel.

• 1:11:11Matt Farah?

  Yeah. The, this, it was a sad attempt.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was a sad time.

• 1:11:16Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it was a sad attempt. My grandma drove a Delta 88, though.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:11:19Matt Farah?

  Straight up brown velour.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:23Matt Farah?

  Shit was hard. White, brown velour. It was in Delray Beach, Florida. You, when you sat in that seat, you had to be, you were glued to it. You were so, it was gross. Yeah, American Oldsmobile should not have done these. This is bad. So headlines. It was the Oldsmobile 5.7 litre petrol V8, as we know it, which they converted to run on diesel with the lowest amount of effort possible. So the head bolts failed, the cam chain went slack, and then because American diesel was quite low quality, the injectors failed. And because of this engine, it led directly to what you now have with the lemon laws.

• 1:12:08Matt Farah?

  Because of this engine on the road. There were so many lawsuits that most states had.

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  Well, because we all probably know diesel ignites on compression. So it's a much higher compression engine. But they didn't change the head bolts or any of the specs. They were just like, just pour the, just pour the other stuff in there and it was fine. Just fucking let it off. And then it just started popping head bolts and heads were flying off vengeance. And nobody knew why, and they didn't tell the owners what to do about it. And some owners apparently tried to fix this problem by putting alcohol into the tank. Oh, no, there was a water separator issue. So owners were pouring regular just grain alcohol and rubbing alcohol in their tank. And then that would eat through their fuel system. It was just an absolute nightmare in like dealer prep, engineering, customer preparation, really good stuff.

• 1:12:53Matt Farah?

  Just peak GM laziness.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:12:57Matt Farah?

  So just, are you suggesting that General Motors in the early 1980s was not on top of their quality game?

• 1:13:05Speaker 03

  Well, I know, but if you're.

• 1:13:06Matt Farah?

  I have photo backstab because I have a question. Go on. Well, is this, does this car require two batteries?

• 1:13:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:13:13Matt Farah?

  Yes.

• 1:13:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:13:15Matt Farah?

  Because why?

• 1:13:16Speaker 03

  Well, because your compression ratio is so much cranking.

• 1:13:20Matt Farah?

  Yeah, so much.

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  Well, because on the engine, you use the battery to get home.

• 1:13:25Speaker 03

  Well, on the starter.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, cranks the whole way home.

• 1:13:30Matt Farah?

  Basing on a petrol engine and doing as little as possible, it's sort of like going, all right, I'm going to make my RV work underwater. I have a roll of Saran. I have an Eneus Grenadier and a Snork. I'm listening. Fine. I, you know, I've seen one of these run.

• 1:13:45Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:13:45Matt Farah?

  You liar. I have seen one run and it won a trophy at Radwood. Just for running, for being driven there in its own power. It wasn't that nice, but it did get driven there.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  So when me and Rich decided on this car, there was a bit of conferring. Because I said, well, hang on. You could buy this engine in a Cadillac Seville Bustleback. The car that looks like it's already been crashed into before you've bought it.

• 1:14:10Matt Farah?

  It looks great on the rim.

• 1:14:11Speaker 03

  So I think peak shit would be that engine in the Bustleback, brand new. So I think that's our offering.

• 1:14:18Matt Farah?

  For sure, for sure.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  Anyone got a Bustleback? No, good.

• 1:14:23Matt Farah?

  That's just the way he's sitting. There's one, there's one guy who hangs around LA who's got one. Okay.

• 1:14:27Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:14:27Matt Farah?

  How about, how about?

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  One guy hangs around that one.

• 1:14:30Matt Farah?

  So you've got to come out as well. It's just one guy. Now, this one. Have I got one? Mate, if it's British. Okay, yeah. The DeLorean.

• 1:14:41Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:14:42Matt Farah?

  Ooh. All right, see, I knew this would be a contr.

• 1:14:46Speaker 03

  It's an overseas relationship.

• 1:14:47Matt Farah?

  It's an overseas relationship in which John DeLorean and Colin Chapman.

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Matt Farah?

  Defrauded several governments to build a car, which I owned.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:00Matt Farah?

  And was a, you know, exceptional quali- exceptional quality of dynamics. Uh, and I call it British because there is a Lotus Esprit somewhere, you know, three or four layers below the surface of.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  Under there.

• 1:15:16Matt Farah?

  Of this car.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 1:15:19Matt Farah?

  And it's, um, and look, it was my dream car when I was like, when I was five and my dad brought me my first issue of Road and Track. It was on the cover. And it was, you know, to a five-year-old, that's a spaceship. Still have the magazine. Uh, to the point where that was my first ever, you know, collector crush. And, boy, was that, did that drive like everybody told me it was going to drive before I bought it.

• 1:15:46Matt Farah?

  Fifty thousand dollars later, I should have listened to him. But if you look at that car, because it is, I suppose you can claim it's British, but it's an American concept. Correct. Styled in Italy. Correct. Engineered in England. Correct. Constructed in Northern Ireland. Also correct. An amazing tribute to what happens when people do things purely for the money.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  It's, it's, I mean, look, I still want one. I feel this, have you driven one? I drove one and I've never been so mobbed in my life.

• 1:16:16Matt Farah?

  Yeah, no, so here's what they're good for, and I'll be fair to this car. So here in Los Angeles, and to an extent, that's, that's true down here as well. It's a two-car town. You've got your shitty everyday grid where you have your EV, you know, or your hybrid or your A. And then you have your Canyon car, your car for going up the mountain and engaging in, with machinery for fun, for sport, right? Or a track or whatever. This car is exactly halfway between those two activities. But the further you get from the middle of a six tenths cruise, an Amble, you might call it, the further you get from that, the, in either direction, the shitter it gets.

• 1:17:03Matt Farah?

  And so it doesn't do any of the things that you would do with it in Los Angeles. However, as a, what you might call a pub car in the UK.

• 1:17:11Speaker 03

  Pub car.

• 1:17:11Matt Farah?

  Fucking next level.

• 1:17:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:13Matt Farah?

  Next level.

• 1:17:15Speaker 03

  Agreed. I think it's probably peak convert a classic to EV territory for me. Because no, I don't think anyone would be offended if you converted it to EV.

• 1:17:25Matt Farah?

  No, I drove one.

• 1:17:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:26Matt Farah?

  DeLorean in, in, in Texas did one, converted it to EV, I drove it.

• 1:17:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:31Matt Farah?

  It was sort of a shitter, if I'm honest. No, for real, because when they converted it. What year was this? Twelve? It was a long time ago.

• 1:17:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:39Matt Farah?

  And it was, sorry, slightly nerdy, it was a DC conversion.

• 1:17:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Matt Farah?

  And so the power just sort of dwindled down as it lost range and just got less and less powerful. And I got back to the, I made it back to the shop at like 12 miles an hour, you know, it was so sad. But if you did it right, it would, it would probably be great.

• 1:17:59Speaker 03

  And, and then you could commute in it in LA?

• 1:18:01Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Who wants, oh, did it, because that, what you're describing about the battery, you know, the performance of the motor, that's like an off-brand Walkman from the. Oh, shit, yeah, shit, yeah.

• 1:18:15Matt Farah?

  That car now lives in like Google's lobby. I said. For real, it's, it's a total, in a total like, you know, sort of dystopian horror future, rather than actually developing an EV retrofit for the DeLorean. Google's like, yeah, that one, park it right there and I'll take these keys and just throw them in the lake. That'll be the last time that's ever driven. Thank you very much, you know. So, yeah, okay.

• 1:18:44Speaker 03

  They're great and they're bad.

• 1:18:46Matt Farah?

  It's not purely British.

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  But it's, no, but I like the concept of that. And it was also put together at a time in Northern Ireland where you're basically at your most risky.

• 1:18:55Matt Farah?

  Have you ever, there's a guy called Barry Wills, who was one of the chief engineers on this car and helped get it in production in Northern Ireland. And he tells a story about how, because it was a troubled time in Northern Ireland, you know, the Protestant Catholics were fighting. And, and this factory sat in the middle between a Protestant housing state and a Catholic one. And it unified people because they all just wanted to work and do the best they could. But there were still sort of fringes of trouble. And Barry Wills does a story about, he was working late in his office at the front of the factory one night and he, he's like, finally, I'm going to go home. So he, he called his wife and he went, yeah, hi, yeah, um, so I should be home in about, at about 30 minutes. And he just stood up and he looked out the window and his Ford Cortina company car was parked outside, fully on fire.

• 1:19:40Matt Farah?

  And he just went, uh, no, probably be more like it now.

• 1:19:44Matt Farah?

  So it was a difficult time and despite that, they got a car made, which is pretty incredible. They should call Ford about that. That seems very unsafe.

• 1:19:54Matt Farah?

  All right, shit on our car.

• 1:19:56Speaker 03

  What do we get?

• 1:19:56Matt Farah?

  What do you got?

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  We go in next.

• 1:19:58Matt Farah?

  Okay, well, I mean, let's go for some fairly low hanging fruit. Because looking at the DeLorean there, you think about it and you go, what kind of obnoxious prick would make a car out of stainless steel? That's, no, like, like, that's, isn't it crazy? Was it crazy to you that Elon?

• 1:20:22Matt Farah?

  That no lessons were learned. No. Like, the lessons of the DeLorean are so incredibly obvious at the most cursory, like, ten minutes of studying.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the lesson is you can snort an endless amount of drugs off the hood. So just do it again. That's what he's about.

• 1:20:42Matt Farah?

  A stainless steel car, you may get into a deal for some cocaine.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  Exactly. You can dust snorkel your way around the whole thing. It's like a buffet table.

• 1:20:51Matt Farah?

  But not to get too serious on main, I think one of the things that marks out Musk and his car company is absolutely not learning lessons, because that whole machine that builds the machine thing, it's like GM tried that in the eighties with just too many robots, and they're all spraying each other and welding each other. And no point did he go, "Well, this has been tried, it clearly didn't work. Let's look at what Toyota do instead, because it's better." So, I'm not saying he's an arrogant fucking prick, but, uh, he's an arrogant fucking prick. Yeah, and this is, I mean, I saw someone, yay. So, I saw someone online when this car came out saying, "No, no, no, let's stop criticizing it, because this is a useful way to identify your neighborhood's biggest douchebag." Yeah.

• 1:21:34Matt Farah?

  You know what I find works well for one of these, when you see them? My move, which has really been successful, is a slow descending thumbs down. I like, it reveals intent, but it's not like a, it's, you know, it's not a fuck, it's not a file, it's not a fuck you, it's a, it's a slow, just a thum-

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  Thumb rainbow.

• 1:21:56Matt Farah?

  Yes, a thumb rainbow.

• 1:21:57Speaker 03

  Thumb rainbow.

• 1:21:58Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like, well, I once just, I did a sort of thing where I was supposed to let someone through a gap in a narrow street in London, and I kind of messed it up, and it's like, and rather than them as they went past go, which is quite a British response, their window was down, they just went.

• 1:22:15Matt Farah?

  It's sort of withering that, because you just go, "Oh, I've let you down, haven't I? I'm sorry." But what happened, I've actually driven one of these, because there's someone that I know in California has one. I'm sorry to hear that. I know, it's disappointing. And they were out, it was out of town, and, but they were absolutely adamant, "I should have a go in it." And they kept ringing at their partner, who I know, and saying, "Has he driven it yet? Has he driven it yet?" So finally, I took it out for a drive. Now, I have to say that to drive, I was quite surprised. It is actually pretty good, the steer-by-wire, all that stuff. It's impressive. But, in the course of driving for less than an hour around the Pasadena area, I was flipped off twice. Yeah. By strangers. Yeah.

• 1:22:59Matt Farah?

  And I kind of thought, "Fair enough." But I said, "I've never had a car like that." Yeah. I mean, I've had a, but I've never been f- tively like- Yeah, ugly fascism-adjacent cars, it turns out, are unpopular. Not acceptable. We should stop giving them awards at Pebble Beach every year. I'm just saying. Maybe, maybe we shouldn't give Nazi cars best in show. That'll take-

• 1:23:22Speaker 02

  Oh, but look at the level of restoration on this 1942 Mercedes-

• 1:23:26Matt Farah?

  Well, the history of this 1933 Mercedes SSK is unparalleled, the ownership history, really. Were the early, oh, you notice, just wondering. Someone pointed out to us that there's something that's going on at Pebble Beach, and I don't know how long this has been going on for, that no car can just be called, like, sort of, I don't know, Duesenberg 32J, it's got to be called by Chaperone, Mule, early work, and it's got to have an extra bit. But then you get to the sort of Mercedes SSK, the Herman Göring edition, you go, "This is a seat full. Are we all right with this now?" Because I don't think we should be.

• 1:23:59Speaker 02

  The Googles 550.

• 1:24:04Matt Farah?

  I have to say, all right, so, based on where we're at right now, and we have to move on for time, because I thought these bits would take five minutes, and they're taking fifteen, but, uh, which is all good, it's all, I'm glad to have a good time, but- We could smash- Whose countries, country, excuse me, by round of applause, has exhibited shitter cars? So applause actually means worse, in this case. Whose cars have been presented as being worse? Are the UK cars more shit?

• 1:24:39Matt Farah?

  Oh, wow. Or are the American cars more shit?

• 1:24:47Speaker 02

  That's-

• 1:24:47Matt Farah?

  How much of that is because of the cyber talk? I'm just wondering.

• 1:24:54Matt Farah?

  I mean, that thing is so shit, that when I first saw it, I thought it was a good idea to go on Joe Rogan and call it a fraud. Which was not a good idea, because I've gotten lots, I still get emails about that, but- Pre-COVID, pre-COVID! Went on Joe Rogan pre-COVID. Um, I know we were gonna wrap- Very important. We're gonna wrap this bit up, but can I just invite Johnny just to do one of his suggestions? The last one. Yeah. His worst American vehicle. You can have the last laugh for breakfast. Jonathan Smith, please tell the ladies and gentlemen what you believe is one of the worst American cars or vehicles.

• 1:25:32Speaker 03

  Okay, the worst American vehicle of all time, largely because I just don't trust them, are all American vans.

• 1:25:41Matt Farah?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:25:43Speaker 03

  With the exception of one van, there's only one van that doesn't look kidnappy.

• 1:25:48Matt Farah?

  Is it the Pontiac 32 in 1988?

• 1:25:51Speaker 03

  A sixties Ford Econoline escapes this category. Everything else-

• 1:25:56Matt Farah?

  Well, that's where, that is an Astro.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  Well, can I just say, that when I'm like, "Hey, guys, can you tell me what cars you want for these lists, so I can find assets?" They're like, "Yeah, yeah, here's five very detailed answers." And then Johnny goes, "Oh, and all the American vans." And I was like, "Starting in 1947, all of them?" And then he walked away, he's like, "Cheers, I'm gonna go check into my hotel or something."

• 1:26:15Speaker 03

  No, as a foreigner in this country, I just fundamentally distrust all American vans. I can't walk near them in case I get snatched off the street. If I pull up in the lot, what would I contact with?

• 1:26:26Matt Farah?

  The Transit is the most crimed-out fucking van in history, bro.

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:26:31Matt Farah?

  Not the Econoline, not the Savannah, not the Astro.

• 1:26:35Speaker 03

  The Astro.

• 1:26:35Matt Farah?

  Not the Mercury Villager Nautica edition, the Transit! We've been driving around the US now for a week, and honestly, we've been, every van we pull upside, and Johnny will go, "Yeah, you see where it says 'pool cleaning'? That means kidnap." Yeah.

• 1:26:49Speaker 03

  If it says-

• 1:26:50Matt Farah?

  Lumber Supplies, Kidnap.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, honestly, if it says Quans gardening, landscaping, I just go, "Nope, no one's landscaping."

• 1:26:57Matt Farah?

  That's fun. That's wands cuckolding.

• 1:26:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:00Matt Farah?

  Easily available on Facebook.

• 1:27:02Speaker 03

  Someone's in there with a beer towel in their mouth. I do not trust American vans. I'm sorry, I just don't trust them.

• 1:27:09Matt Farah?

  You should, because the shagging that happens in the wagon is the kind of thing that someone who wears a t-shirt with that blazer would really appreciate.

• 1:27:18Speaker 03

  Oh. Um, can I just say, this is a new old stock 1992 Benetton F1 team jacket.

• 1:27:28Matt Farah?

  I only joke about it because I'm super jealous. They definitely didn't make them shits in my side.

• 1:27:33Speaker 03

  We, uh-

• 1:27:34Matt Farah?

  There's nobody on the Benetton team in 94 that looked like this. Nah, even the tire carrier was a little 5'4". We got to the beauty of Stephen Winkelman, the boss of Lamborghini. Holy shit, that dude's got like a 24-inch waist.

• 1:27:50Speaker 03

  Oh, my god, he just has his suit painted on.

• 1:27:53Matt Farah?

  That's got, this guy is cra- he's crazy looking.

• 1:27:56Speaker 03

  It is. He is for it.

• 1:27:58Matt Farah?

  Right? Yeah, he's the most Italian man in the world. Can you stop what you're doing and just get any photo of Stephen Winkelman? He's doing a thing, like, the road, the car roasting thing, that's what he's doing while we're doing this. It's like a whole, we planned it, right? But also, I need him to get a picture of Stephen Winkelman right fucking, no.

• 1:28:19Speaker 03

  He was the-

• 1:28:19Matt Farah?

  Winkelman Lamborghini, ad Lamborghini. He's the one who looks like he's, yep, that, okay, okay. Um, this is, this man is disturbingly model-like and ha- he, all Lamborghinis are designed to fit him, is what I- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but also, you know, he has, his breakfast is a cappuccino, and his lunch is an espresso. He's so Italian.

• 1:28:43Speaker 03

  Listen, he's got, he's got Coachella bracelets on.

• 1:28:46Matt Farah?

  He does. He looks like he survived the 1969 Formula One season. You know what I mean? He's got, like, he's halfway, but he's like a better-looking Emerson Fittipaldi, which, I can't even believe I'm saying, because that man, oh- That's simply not possible. Oh, boy. Yeah. All right, now, you're right.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Do I hear his bridge waist?

• 1:29:08Matt Farah?

  Right, he's, I saw him in person, and I was like, "Kate, wow, you look-"

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  Do you reckon that's elegantly thin? If there was two of him, perfect dumbbells. Perfect. If you just lacquered him, or you just, you could do, on an arm's day, you could do two Winklemans.

• 1:29:24Matt Farah?

  Okay, now, before we get to roasting your cars, because Zach has some good ones, yeah? I'm working on it. He's working on it. He's working on it, he's trying to do things at once. These guys came on our show, um, a while ago, and told me about a game that I found to be just delightful, and that game is keywords that you would use to search on like Craigslist, or Facebook Marketplace, or eBay for cars, you know, keywords for cars that result in delightful-

• 1:30:01Matt Farah?

  Results. Well, like unexpected results. Yeah, there's a little bit of context for this, which was pointed out to us by somebody else that we know, that there's a, there's a great trend in the UK for people in car ads to list faults with that car, say, "driver's window doesn't go down, but it's never bothered me." And it's sort of passive aggressive, it's almost going, "if it bothers you, you're an idiot." Yeah. "You don't deserve to buy this car." And I discovered that on Autotrader, the UK car sales site, you can do keyword search, so don't specify make, model, anything else, just keyword, and if you search "bothered",

• 1:30:38Matt Farah?

  it opens up a trove of lunacy. But then, having discovered this, I, I've expanded it to keyword search. Now, when, when I was talking to you the other week, and I said, "we could do keyword search on stage," and you were like, "well, bet Craigslist is really good for that." Yes. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Because I quite like sometimes just looking at what cars are for sale for in the US, because I'm a dickly interesting man. And I went on Craigslist today, and, and I did some keyword searches. Now, you'd said to me, because I said Autotrader doesn't allow swear words. Craigslist does. Well, but there were no swear words. The worst thing is, nothing came up, and I started getting more and more stupid with my searches.

• 1:31:20Matt Farah?

  And I was searching words like "damp" and "exploded." Nothing. The only thing that yielded a small nugget of gold was when I searched "on fire." Oh, God, is that good, yeah, okay. 1957 Ford retractable hardtop. I'm posting some before and after pictures of the car before the small electrical fire caused by a rag left on the brake. I love the importance of the "before." Yes. Like, who fucking cares, man? That shit was on fire. It was like, is it now? Like, what's the difference? It's like opening a conversation with, "here's a picture of me 25 years ago." Anyway, least to me, it's been on fire since then.

• 1:32:03Matt Farah?

  The fire caught the rubber around the steering column, and then went into the car, into the dash, a little, and burned some wiring and gauges. Really? On fire. On fire is a good one. I'm afraid to say that otherwise Craigslist did not yield gold, because when I go on Autotrader and do a deranged keyword search, it is mind-boggling. I'll start with one example, and it's smell. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:33Matt Farah?

  For example, 2011 Fiat 500 1.4 Sport, nice car and very presentable, August MOT, everything works, priced for a quick sale. No smells. Sure. That strikes me as... You didn't get to say that. The kind of thing that someone with a smelly car would say. It's too, there's a guilt there, there's a mission of guilt. There was a smell, I've tried very hard to get rid of it. Yes. I don't, I'm not really convinced that I have. Exactly. 2007 Toyota Igo. This Igo is mechanically good, there is a slight exhaust leak, which you can smell. Sir. You're about to pass out, Steve. Sell the fucking car. I was gonna suggest the word "fumigated." Ooh. I think that would be a good one. I didn't think of that. I was thinking of "soiled." Soiled, yeah.

• 1:33:19Matt Farah?

  It's quite medical, isn't it? But I do, and I like... It's medical. Um, I, there's, um, I was thinking of some other, some other potential winners in the search term. How about "recovery"? Recovery seems like a good one. Why, just, just the word "wiring." Yeah. Because like, if it's mentioned at all, it ain't fucking good. Nobody uses the word "wiring" unless the shit's completely fucked up, right? That's probably, that's probably a banger.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  Find another.

• 1:33:51Matt Farah?

  Find another! Find another different one. Yeah, we know the, I know, I know what I have, find another, yeah. There's, I, I...

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  Find another.

• 1:34:01Matt Farah?

  It didn't yield gold on Craigslist, but on Autotrader, sometimes you can search the word "idiots."

• 1:34:08Matt Farah?

  And it'll give you something like, 2015 Volkswagen Gold GTD in limp mode, twin rear custom exhaust, rear wiper delete, cam belt done, air con ice cold, no "offers" in capital letters, no idiots. As in, sorry. This car is in limp mode. Exactly. It loses the idiot. No offers, no idiots, but I, it's limp mode. You're gonna have to drive it out at six. It's broken. But this is the thing, in many ways, you should just say "idiots welcome," because they're the only people who want this car in limp mode. But I like the idea that you're sitting at home going, "well, I'm a local idiot, and I need a Golf Diesel, let's have a look. I'll buy this one." "Oh, no, it says 'no idiot.'" "Well, that's excluded me."

• 1:34:51Matt Farah?

  I have, I have my, my two that I think are really good, and then we'll, we'll finish up with some car roasting. Have you found a banger? I found a bunch. Great. Lovely. Sheepskin. Oh. Yeah. You don't even wanna think about it, but now you can't think about anything else. What's in that motherfucker, right? That shit soaks it up, whatever happened. Even worse, just skin. Oh.

• 1:35:20Speaker 02

  This is your writer gun.

• 1:35:22Matt Farah?

  This is going back to the Buffalo Bilvans that we were just talking about earlier. Yeah. Skin. Well, because there was, this, this one, it baffled me. This is one of my "not bothered" adverts. It's a 2016 Mini Countryman Cooper Diesel. Lovely car, good on fuel, sat nav, parking sensors, four-wheel drive, phone connectivity, leather seats. One seat in the back is fabric, unsure why, never bothered me.

• 1:35:47Matt Farah?

  Someone soiled themselves in your car, but you're not bothered. What is fabric? What is fabric? Right. So, my number one fun search term. Go on. Florida.

• 1:36:01Matt Farah?

  Not weird. That's a bag. In California, you see that shit, you ruin. You do not buy cars from Florida. Fuck me. Oh, boy, you guys have some cars.

• 1:36:14Matt Farah?

  Now, we put up an email address and asked you guys to share your cars with us, and boy have ya, with the owner of the fucking Volvo 240 pickup truck, please raise your hand. Where are we? Happy week. Happy week.

• 1:36:32Matt Farah?

  The amount of tire shine that you put on only your front tire in this car is truly exceptional. Is that tire shine all over the driveway as well? Yes. It's a real Hollywood shoot.

• 1:36:45Matt Farah?

  You just washed it. Okay, for the, for the, for the non-visual, we have a Volvo 240 converted to a pickup truck, two-door, non-extended cab, bright fucking red, it looks awesome. I cranked it.

• 1:37:00Speaker 02

  Are you a delivery driver for IKEA?

• 1:37:04Speaker 02

  That was the goal.

• 1:37:07Matt Farah?

  That's so, that is really... Why you lost the instructions? Isn't that lovely?

• 1:37:12Matt Farah?

  Did you do this yourself?

• 1:37:14Speaker 02

  No, it's a shade tree in Carolina.

• 1:37:16Matt Farah?

  A shade tree mechanic in the Carolinas is doing this shit? Wow. This is, I mean... Sensible from the mum eighties El Camino. It's a, this is rea, it's rear-drive, it's gonna be very light at the back. Yeah, I think it's going to do a roof though. It's not a manual, is it? Is it a manual? It's an auto? It's got that big square, remember, you ever drive a Volvo two? The giant square shifter? No. That you had to, yeah, it's like a really, like a stress ball to shift that motherfucker into deep. You guys know what I'm talking about? Weird shift. You go to the underclutch, where I was going to...

• 1:37:52Matt Farah?

  You know, you know, that's how, that's how you shift. Well, you're going in under... How you shift the Volvo?

• 1:37:58Speaker 02

  You ask the Volvo to call.

• 1:38:00Matt Farah?

  This shit is fire. Is there, what is the rear window out of in this, dude? Where did that come from?

• 1:38:05Speaker 02

  It's a 245 hatch.

• 1:38:07Matt Farah?

  Oh, so it's got a 245, it's got a Volvo wagon hatch to, to separate. It's really good. This is awesome. It's really good. You know what? I don't have jokes.

• 1:38:17Speaker 02

  When I see like a sixties El Camino though, I imagine there's like a mattress in the back, empty beer cans in the cab with cigarettes. This, it's like a book of poetry, and like a turtleneck is thrown on the floor. It's just too clean, you know? It's original.

• 1:38:31Matt Farah?

  It's a sheepskin rug, but not a soiled one.

• 1:38:33Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. You have to take your shoes off before you walk in.

• 1:38:37Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:38Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:38:38Matt Farah?

  We agreed, we, we all like this. We all like it. Oh, God, what's going wrong here? Okay. XL. Okay, oh, boy, this one is, this is a Jaguar X. E or F? Never be finished. It's a Jaguar X something. XF. XF? Is it an F or an E?

• 1:38:55Speaker 02

  It's an X husband. You buy this, your wife's like, "get out, get out."

• 1:39:01Matt Farah?

  That's a good point. Look at its surroundings, you are single.

• 1:39:06Matt Farah?

  But, because here's why, here's why, look, look where the car, the car compared to this door. You can just tell, "honey, it's gotta go here, and I'm gonna leave you if you put it there, but it's gotta go inside, I don't know," and then they left.

• 1:39:20Speaker 02

  I, I know omnivism in ADHD when I see it, because I have both, and so that's how this comes to be.

• 1:39:25Matt Farah?

  Somebody was like... I like the way that, "where's the headlights?" "Don't worry, guys, here it is." It's there. It's there. What, what, whose, whose car? You're right here, sir. What's the story of this?

• 1:39:38Speaker 03

  Um, so, Richard will know the AJ133 engine.

• 1:39:43Matt Farah?

  Holy shit, we're going here? Don't talk to him. He starts going with the 133 engine and I'm like, that's not what we're talking about right now. I'm talking about why everything is missing from this car.

• 1:39:57Speaker 03

  I quite like the, I quite like that you could, the project.

• 1:39:59Matt Farah?

  Is it Project 8 body swap?

• 1:40:01Speaker 02

  This is Project 8 years, sir.

• 1:40:03Speaker 03

  Yes, so, Amazon style art.

• 1:40:08Matt Farah?

  Amazon project, yes, the Timu Project 8, yeah.

• 1:40:12Speaker 03

  I quite like.

• 1:40:13Matt Farah?

  What country will these panels made in, do you think?

• 1:40:15Speaker 03

  The undying most AD.

• 1:40:17Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:18Speaker 02

  I get it.

• 1:40:19Matt Farah?

  Okay, so we're mid-converting an XF to a Project 8-ish wide-body thing?

• 1:40:25Speaker 03

  Yes, it's perpetually in work.

• 1:40:29Speaker 02

  How long had?

• 1:40:30Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:31Speaker 03

  Uh, many.

• 1:40:32Matt Farah?

  Many years, yeah.

• 1:40:33Speaker 03

  How many years?

• 1:40:35Matt Farah?

  Yeah. What's in the box that's on the roof of the car? Divorce papers. I don't wanna know. Is siding for your home?

• 1:40:42Speaker 02

  Divorce, divorce papers.

• 1:40:43Matt Farah?

  Divorce papers, yes.

• 1:40:45Speaker 03

  He's, he's married and everything. He's married, yeah.

• 1:40:48Matt Farah?

  Yeah? The patience of this one, wow.

• 1:40:51Speaker 03

  I'm quite scared of the trip hazard here. I can't quite work out, if you, if I went in there in the middle of the night for a beer, I would break my hips, and then I'd be sleeping next to my car for the rest of the night because no one would hear me yelping.

• 1:41:01Matt Farah?

  Also, it means a pry.

• 1:41:06Speaker 03

  Why is this, what, what is this splatter and what is this?

• 1:41:11Speaker 03

  Like, have you shut a medic in there with their hands? The splatters probably from various bodywork activity.

• 1:41:18Matt Farah?

  Uh huh, bodywork, huh? Okay.

• 1:41:21Speaker 03

  Various bodywork activity.

• 1:41:23Matt Farah?

  I think you got shitfaced, vomited out your own window on the way home, and decided to cover it up by body-swapping the entire car. That's car guy Max. That's how we've done it here.

• 1:41:36Speaker 02

  That's what happened to the front body.

• 1:41:37Matt Farah?

  I go, I can't ever look at it the same. I'm gonna take the entire body off the fucking car. Let's fucking go.

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  No, honey, I didn't smash it. I, I'm, I'm taking it off anyway for Project, Project 8. So, it was, it was an immediate disassembly of the front end. Very efficient.

• 1:41:52Matt Farah?

  Isn't it crazy to do some shit like this to a totally fucking normal car? It's so cra, it's not like, it's not like it's a Mustang or a Corvette or something. It's like, I'm doing some crazy shit to my sports car. It's like, this car's invisible to everybody. And you're like, I know what I'm gonna do. I love it, I love it. What else did God say? Oh my God, oh my God, I am aroused. Oh, this is a Mercedes W124 six-door with eight stores.

• 1:42:26Speaker 02

  Who's this?

• 1:42:27Matt Farah?

  Sid goes, Sid. You. That's really your car? Fuck yeah, dude.

• 1:42:34Matt Farah?

  You drive this shit around?

• 1:42:38Matt Farah?

  Yeah, you do?

• 1:42:38Speaker 03

  Do you know what? You live at Leamington Spa, don't you? Because I know that fucking shop.

• 1:42:44Matt Farah?

  So funny.

• 1:42:45Speaker 03

  And they only accept cash, don't they? Yes, they do. It's the only shop left in the world that only accepts cash. Because I've been in there and bought loads of stuff and she went, yeah, it's cash anyway. Look, this, put it all down and walked out.

• 1:42:57Matt Farah?

  This dude's rolling a six-door in the UK.

• 1:43:00Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 1:43:00Matt Farah?

  RHD. Would you like to hear a quick, very funny Leamington Spa story? Because it's where you're from, where it's taken. Uh, I went to the UK to visit to make some films for Drive on NBC Sports back in the day, and I was flying from a family vacation in Rome. That was finished, I piggybacked the trip. So, the real flight from Rome's like three hours, right? I eat 40mg of THC as soon as I get on the plane. Okay? Chris Harris picks me up at Heathrow in a Mercedes CLS63 shooting brake press car. I have driven right-hand drive at this point exactly one. As I land and the bags are coming out, that's when the 40MGs kicks in.

• 1:43:43Matt Farah?

  Right then and there. Not the whole flight. Delayed reaction. Chris goes, alright, what we're going to do is, I have a meeting someplace, and, and you can just, you know, hang out, kill an hour, practice driving right-hand drive, while I'm in this meeting. And I go, uh, uh, uh, okay. It takes me like 25 minutes to leave the parking lot of this office because I'm like, just fucked up. Really fucked up. And eventually I go, well, I have to do this. But I don't know where I'm going. I don't know anything. I'm super fucked up. Super, super high. But I gotta do it. I like how not doing it wasn't an option for me, but I, you know, whatever.

• 1:44:26Matt Farah?

  So, I pull to the exit of the car park, a BMW E28 5 Series goes by, and I go, oh, just follow him? And so, for 45 minutes, that's what I did. Right on this motherfucker's bumper. Everywhere he went. This guy must have been so sketched out by a brand-new, like, mobbed-up-looking CLS riding his bumper for 45 minutes. Eventually, we get to this beautiful town square. I later learn it's Royal Leamington Spa.

• 1:44:55Speaker 03

  Royal Leamington Spa?

• 1:44:56Matt Farah?

  I parked the car just about here, got out, found a coffee, walked into a gallery that was selling, of all things, Bob Dylan's paintings, and talked to the gallery owner for about 45 minutes about fucking nothing at all.

• 1:45:11Matt Farah?

  Till I realized I was not too high to drive back. Then I got in the car and drove. And that was the one and only time I've been to your hometown, sir.

• 1:45:21Speaker 03

  This is, um, this is.

• 1:45:23Matt Farah?

  That's about the amount of applause that was worth. Sorry, it wasn't good. It was good in my own head. My wife is like, that was not a good story. She shouldn't have fucking done that. Yeah, you're right, you're right, honey. I shouldn't have. That was bad.

• 1:45:35Speaker 02

  Well, it's that versus Jaws 2, so we'll applaud to see which one's.

• 1:45:38Matt Farah?

  Sure.

• 1:45:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, Jaws, Jaws 2 versus, let me just.

• 1:45:41Matt Farah?

  Sorry, before, I, I enjoyed Matt's story about driving on drugs in my country to Warwickshire, but... Is that Mercedes factory?

• 1:45:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, Bullman.

• 1:45:48Matt Farah?

  Oh, that's a Bullman, proper. We do like the Mercedes. It's just that once you realize it has six doors, that's really all you can say about it.

• 1:45:56Speaker 03

  It's like sort of a very quick AI, um, something for the.

• 1:46:00Matt Farah?

  It does look like slightly wonky, like that.

• 1:46:03Speaker 03

  Copy paste, copy paste, oh, I've done it.

• 1:46:04Matt Farah?

  Yeah, it's three forward-facing rows?

• 1:46:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, they can roll all with the wheels.

• 1:46:10Matt Farah?

  Oh, yeah, that's awesome. Did you ever look on Google Maps on Street View and sometimes it's created six-door cars by mistake instead of that? Yeah, it's an extra wide. Oh, see, now this is very good.

• 1:46:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:46:22Matt Farah?

  Next up, we have a Land Rover Discovery.

• 1:46:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:26Matt Farah?

  Uh, in the middle of fuck-all-nowhere. Who is this? Oh, right up front. Uh, where is it? Where is this photograph taken, sir?

• 1:46:35Speaker 04

  Uh, Del Diablo, right leg, Baja.

• 1:46:38Matt Farah?

  Baja in Mexico. Awesome. We got some BFGTAs on there, Steelys, and, um, does this vehicle work?

• 1:46:48Speaker 04

  This has been more reliable than my Kian Diesel.

• 1:46:50Matt Farah?

  More reliable than your Kian Diesel?

• 1:46:53Speaker 02

  How long did you have to stay down there before the statute of limitations was over?

• 1:47:00Matt Farah?

  I, I don't love the look of these. V8?

• 1:47:03Speaker 04

  Uh, uh, yeah, 4.6.

• 1:47:05Matt Farah?

  Yeah. Good, okay. Okay, what's up with the seat? What is that seat? Did you change the seat? No, that's a.

• 1:47:13Speaker 04

  So, it has the base seats, no?

• 1:47:15Matt Farah?

  Uh huh.

• 1:47:16Speaker 04

  Transmission, just basic, basic.

• 1:47:18Matt Farah?

  Oh, I, so the less things you have, the better they work?

• 1:47:21Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:47:22Matt Farah?

  That's the Land Rover way.

• 1:47:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:47:24Matt Farah?

  Yeah, yes. Get them with nothing and they'll be shitty forever. You take that to its logical conclusion, that you don't have an actual Land Rover is the day that your car works. It's perfect. It's a system. Oh, boy. Next up, we have a Launcia Delta Integrale that appears to potentially be in the middle of project car hell. Anybody? Who are, oh, way in the back. Who is that? I know you. Who is that? Who's that? Tell me about this Launcia. It's in Colorado. It's in Colorado? Okay. Are we swapping winter tires onto it? That would be cool. Winter motor. Winter motor? Winter motor, for sure. It's a bodywork.

• 1:48:07Matt Farah?

  Yes, you do need that high-altitude winter motor. Yes, I recommend that for all Launcias. These are a good time.

• 1:48:14Speaker 03

  They are.

• 1:48:14Matt Farah?

  Have you guys driven one before?

• 1:48:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, a long time ago.

• 1:48:17Matt Farah?

  Long time ago, yeah.

• 1:48:18Speaker 03

  No, actually, it wasn't that long ago. It was, uh, Ben Collins, the Stig. I drove his, uh, bless him, two years ago.

• 1:48:25Matt Farah?

  Yeah, I've driven to these twice. Both times, I just go, oh, yeah, this, I get it. Yep, totally.

• 1:48:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, they are cool.

• 1:48:32Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:32Speaker 03

  They're a bit dissolving.

• 1:48:33Matt Farah?

  Yeah. I'm sorry, what's that word?

• 1:48:35Speaker 03

  You know, like, when you put, like, a painkiller into water and it dissolves?

• 1:48:40Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, they just, so this just falls apart?

• 1:48:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, the, the crucial area on these is this bit. This bit just stops appearing after one. Then you realize that this bit's not gonna, and I say the crucial area on this bit is the, yeah. And this bit works independently to this, which means they're not quite as rigid anymore.

• 1:48:59Matt Farah?

  Dissolving means that thing where you come outside to your car in a damp climate and there's actually a pile of oatmeal there on the car? Oh, that's unfortunate. Hey, in California, we don't know the term dissolving. We are very spoiled like that. Now I, now I know, and I, all of a sudden, I'm physically like a Launcia Speedster is in my future.

• 1:49:19Speaker 03

  Oh, if I lived in Southern California, I'd be.

• 1:49:21Matt Farah?

  Oh, yes. We must, we must end on this one because it is time, but also, is this a Bauer?

• 1:49:28Speaker 03

  It's a Bauer.

• 1:49:29Matt Farah?

  It's a Bauer, right? Is this you? Fuck, yeah, dude. This is an E30 Bauer convertible. These are quite rare, quite weird and stupid.

• 1:49:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:38Matt Farah?

  Um, but is, this is, this seems like a pretty good one, yeah? No?

• 1:49:48Matt Farah?

  Now, that's fine for the car. If someone ever says, your wife seems nice, never reply that. Right. But I'm a little distracted by the, the thing that is behind this car. It looks like about a 1/3 width Beetle. What is that?

• 1:50:02Speaker 03

  He, he, that's, that's, uh, Chris, Chris.

• 1:50:05Matt Farah?

  Oh, that's Pinch, oh, that's Pinch, right, Chris?

• 1:50:08Speaker 04

  Drove it from Vancouver down here.

• 1:50:10Matt Farah?

  Get the fuck out of here. They drove that thing from Vancouver? Oh, my God. Guys, did, remember when you used? To have to drive cars that are shitty a really long way for

• 1:50:21Speaker 03

  Bits?

• 1:50:21Matt Farah?

  Yeah. God, that sucks. That's crazy. He drove that all the way down? I'm curious, the windscreen on that looks like the glass

• 1:50:27Speaker 03

  They've cut it.

• 1:50:28Matt Farah?

  Been cut across.

• 1:50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:50:29Matt Farah?

  So that's just a bare glass at the top.

• 1:50:31Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:50:31Speaker 04

  Cars dissolve me.

• 1:50:32Matt Farah?

  Dissolve me.

• 1:50:35Matt Farah?

  That's, that's bran flakes in waiting.

• 1:50:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:38Matt Farah?

  Incredibly.

• 1:50:38Speaker 03

  That granola, German granola underneath.

• 1:50:42Matt Farah?

  Oh, my God. That's one of the shadiest looking cars I've ever seen in my life.

• 1:50:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:47Matt Farah?

  Dissolve me is like, that's the right word for that car.

• 1:50:50Speaker 03

  It's sad when they bleed, isn't it? They just bleed, they'll suffer in noise.

• 1:50:54Matt Farah?

  So I think if you were just sort of, if you, you looked out the front window of your house at night and that just pulled up for a short minute and then drove off again. You wouldn't sleep well.

• 1:51:03Speaker 03

  That's it. What about if the person driving it had the screen mask on? That'd be a bit weird.

• 1:51:09Matt Farah?

  Oh, let's end on a good one. Yes. Yes. I'm not gonna roast it. This is ball start. This is the mintest Isuzu Impulse you've ever seen in your entire life. Do you guys know what this is? Do you get these? Yeah, we did, but they were, they were called the Piazza.

• 1:51:25Speaker 03

  The Piazza.

• 1:51:25Matt Farah?

  Okay. It was a Isuzu Piazza.

• 1:51:28Speaker 03

  Piazza, yeah.

• 1:51:29Matt Farah?

  Wow, that's, that's a worse name.

• 1:51:31Speaker 04

  Doesn't, doesn't Piazza mean like plaza, like a park?

• 1:51:35Matt Farah?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, green building?

• 1:51:36Matt Farah?

  Impulse is a type of ladies' body spray in the UK, so.

• 1:51:39Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:51:40Matt Farah?

  Genuinely, it is.

• 1:51:41Speaker 03

  It's, uh, the, the, the lasting memory of these was, on the control, you all know this because you own it. On the controls, where it has like, uh, you know, the fans for like face, floor, whatever, research. Where it's floor is a picture of a cowboy boot. And I

• 1:51:58Speaker 04

  It's a woman's boot.

• 1:52:00Speaker 03

  It's a woman's boot.

• 1:52:01Speaker 04

  For the, to go to your fist is the women's long.

• 1:52:04Speaker 03

  Women's long hair.

• 1:52:06Speaker 04

  Getting it worse with.

• 1:52:08Speaker 03

  Right. So I lost my shit.

• 1:52:10Matt Farah?

  And Motley Crue. It was women and Motley Crue. Nicky Six was like, this is my, it's, look at me, it's me on the, on the air.

• 1:52:18Speaker 03

  It was peak hair rock era, so it could have been David Coverdale, it could have been a lady. Who knows?

• 1:52:24Matt Farah?

  Giaro design.

• 1:52:25Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 1:52:26Matt Farah?

  Hmm. Handling by Lotus.

• 1:52:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:52:28Matt Farah?

  Very important, Handling by Lotus. And there's like nine of them left on the planet, right?

• 1:52:34Speaker 03

  It's a great picture, whoever took that photo, it's a great.

• 1:52:36Matt Farah?

  It is really good.

• 1:52:37Speaker 03

  That's just pure enjoyment right there, isn't it?

• 1:52:39Matt Farah?

  It's a very nice car.

• 1:52:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, love it.

• 1:52:42Matt Farah?

  Guys, we really appreciate all of you. Thank you for joining us tonight here on

• 1:52:49Matt Farah?

  Johnny Smith, Richard Porter, Smith and Sned. These guys have a ton of stickers they're getting about, so come up to the stage and grab one. We're selling, uh, license plates. We're all gonna sign them. If you wanna grab a signed license plate. Uh, Hannah and Sarah are gonna be out there, Paulie Barriers.

• 1:53:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:08Matt Farah?

  They look like this. We're gonna sign them if you guys want them. Come grab a photo and, uh, grab a license plate out in the lobby. Uh, grab a, a drink maybe on the way if they're still doing that. I don't even know. Working, no, no, cut off. Forget that last part. But thank you guys so much for coming out. We really appreciate you.

• 1:53:25Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:53:26Matt Farah?

  Happy to do it.

• 1:53:29Speaker 03

  All right. The John Crew stickers for you, and I will leave this away. I'm giving away an Akira bamboo parasol tonight. Does anybody own an Akira here? Do you own an Akira? You're listening. Oh, yeah. No, I'll fucking give you a sticker, it's fine. It's just I've only got one parasol.