When the only option is… divorce

In today's episode: The viral TikTok that had people in the comments calling for the creator to leave her husband. Plus, what was the moment you knew you needed a divorce? We asked our listeners, and our hosts unpack their responses. Big thanks to Mixa, the sensitive skin expert, for making this episode of The Room possible. Mixa is your go-to for body moisturisers under $20, find out more here. The Room is produced by Dimity Kirkwood, edited by Eilish Gilligan and executive-produced by Lucy Hunt. Our social media team consists of Naima Fatema and Divya Simmie and our partnerships managers are Tabitha Rachmat and Tahnee Malina. We're a new show, and the best way to support us is by clicking ‘follow’ on Apple and Spotify, and we're super grateful to anyone who leaves a five-star review while they're at it. Also! An old-fashioned 'Tell a Friend In Real Life' is equally appreciated. You can follow The Room on Instagram and TikTok. Follow our hosts on Instagram here: Freya, Rafa and Georgia. Zabe Gill is on TikTok here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Freya Bleathman?

  Welcome to the room where mothers meet to share their inner world. We're your hosts, I'm Freya Bleachman.

• 0:08Rafa Husain?

  I'm Rafa Husain.

• 0:09Georgia Allison?

  And I'm Georgia Allison.

• 0:10Freya Bleathman?

  And this week we'll be talking about the moment our listeners knew they needed a divorce.

• 0:17Georgia Allison?

  I'm excited for this episode. There's a bit to talk about. Before we get into it, this episode of The Room is brought to you by Mixer, the sensitive skin expert.

• 0:26Freya Bleathman?

  How are everyone's weeks, Rafa?

• 0:29Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, not great.

• 0:33Rafa Husain?

  This is gonna tie into being a loss that I talk about as well, but I think I may have mentioned that the family went down with gastro like over the course of 10 days and I was the last domino to fall.

• 0:45Freya Bleathman?

  Oh really? Because I feel like Lila, it was a couple of weeks ago.

• 0:48Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, like 10 days, like or two weeks. Lila.

• 0:50Georgia Allison?

  Oh my goodness.

• 0:52Rafa Husain?

  Poor darling girl got her first really serious like bout and we have managed to escape a lot of the day to day like childcare illnesses. And I just say like, I think we're lucky because our childcare centre has the largest, it's like the largest outdoor play area in like the suburb. And they're just like out there all day and dirt all over them and all that sort of stuff.

• 1:17Freya Bleathman?

  And Lila's a very, she's a robust little kid.

• 1:20Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, robust is a very.

• 1:22Freya Bleathman?

  She's got good reserves.

• 1:25Rafa Husain?

  She's, she's. Exactly, exactly. And my man, is she showing us her spot. So a poor thing, she had the full like exorcism gastro where it was just like meh, meh, meh. Like every cot sheet, every like every hour, we had to put one of her like plastic food smocks on her over just no outfit because it was just kept her safe from like the constant vomiting.

• 1:49Freya Bleathman?

  That's smart actually.

• 1:50Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, like a good tip, we've never had that bad. Then Will went down, then Rumi had like a version of it and I was like, sick, like I've managed to escape these seven days. And we went out on the weekend and we were heading to a birthday party, came back, had coffees. I was like, that coffee's not sitting well. And then continued on with my day, had some lunch and I was like, that's definitely not sitting well. And anyways, long story short, I got hit. It was very dramatic as well, like top, bottom end. And I just have to say, I was like, sitting on the toilet, TMI, but we're all friends here now.

• 2:26Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, we are.

• 2:28Rafa Husain?

  There's nothing more humiliating than sitting on a toilet with a bowl.

• 2:31Georgia Allison?

  In front of you.

• 2:33Freya Bleathman?

  Do you know what? One of my big claim to fame.

• 2:36Georgia Allison?

  The poo chat that comes out of the Hussain household, I'm loving.

• 2:40Rafa Husain?

  I'm gonna move on from anything poo related.

• 2:44Freya Bleathman?

  It's so funny because you're so, like come across as so sort of sophisticated. But then like every week, there's a poo story. It's so.

• 2:52Georgia Allison?

  Not on brand.

• 2:53Rafa Husain?

  It's not on brand. It's, well, thank you for sophistication. I wouldn't put myself in that category, but yeah, we've been, the, the aim is to not have a shit related story next week.

• 3:05Freya Bleathman?

  Okay.

• 3:06Rafa Husain?

  That's me anyway, so that was.

• 3:07Freya Bleathman?

  Hard with two toddlers, but yeah. What about you, George?

• 3:11Georgia Allison?

  I feel like, um, just following up from that, I had a bit of a sentimental week. It's the boy's fourth birthday this weekend, so by the time this episode comes out, they'll be four. And I just have been planning for their party, which is this weekend, it's gonna be super fun. Going to a pretty iconic place that my brothers had their fourth birthday at, it's like a traffic school.

• 3:32Rafa Husain?

  Oh my God, so cute.

• 3:34Georgia Allison?

  It's gonna be great.

• 3:35Rafa Husain?

  A reminder for the listeners, your boys are born on Halloween.

• 3:38Georgia Allison?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 3:39Rafa Husain?

  Do they do traffic school in dress ups?

• 3:41Georgia Allison?

  Well, they will be, they absolutely will be.

• 3:43Freya Bleathman?

  What's traffic school?

• 3:43Georgia Allison?

  It's just like a little iconic place that has like little roads, little road signs. And so you can pretend that you are.

• 3:51Rafa Husain?

  Is it like a mini village?

• 3:53Freya Bleathman?

  And do they drive around?

• 3:55Georgia Allison?

  No, they've just got their bikes or their scooters.

• 3:57Freya Bleathman?

  Oh bless them.

• 3:58Rafa Husain?

  And they kind of roll around and there's like.

• 3:59Freya Bleathman?

  The invite says BYOs, I get it now.

• 4:02Georgia Allison?

  And your helmets and your bikes. So this week I've just sort of been like reflecting and I'm feeling really like bittersweet about it. Like they're getting a bit older, you know, we're toilet trained, they're putting on their own clothes now. So I'm sort of like moving into almost like a different stage of motherhood. Like I really feel that shift. It's, it seems, it feels really significant for them as well as for me. I'm constantly thinking about them when they were little and like I can leave the house now without pretty much anything. Yeah, I'm leaving the house maybe with, you know, a packet of wipes and their drink bottles. But I mean, I used to carry three capsules.

• 4:45Georgia Allison?

  My nappy bag was pretty much a duffel bag, three changes of clothes. Nine nappies. 100%. Yeah, it looked like I was going away for two days. And now I'm, I just, I'm proud of like how far we've come for Matt and I. And it just seems really significant. I just.

• 5:03Rafa Husain?

  It is significant.

• 5:04Georgia Allison?

  It feels really like a new version of motherhood is being like unlocked. Like I'm like levelling up, I'm going into this different version of having older children. And I'm excited by, but it's super bittersweet. Like we're planning on not having any children or any more children. And Matt and I have always really practised or like been consciously cognizant of the fact that these are likely to be our only kids. So every first is also our last. So all this week I've just been reflecting on that and proud of how far we've come.

• 5:38Rafa Husain?

  Good on you for taking the time to reflect as well.

• 5:41Georgia Allison?

  It's good, it's, it's nice. I feel like when you've got kids now, birthdays are really special. Like they're fully counting down the days, like today is one night till, one more sleep until their birthday. And so yeah, it's been, it's been lovely, but I'm also just like at my phone, looking at all photos of them. I'm like, where are my babies gone?

• 5:58Freya Bleathman?

  And they looked, because we were, what were we on, like FaceTime or something the other night?

• 6:01Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Freya Bleathman?

  And was it Marlo? And he had a big boy haircut.

• 6:05Georgia Allison?

  I know.

• 6:08Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:09Rafa Husain?

  It's that whole saying, and we may have mentioned it last week as well in the advice, but it couldn't feel truer for you where you're now looking back and going, oh, the days are brutal and long, but the years are short.

• 6:23Georgia Allison?

  100%. I think it's, it's a cliche for a reason, but I'm actually sitting in the position being like, no, it's true.

• 6:29Freya Bleathman?

  I've got a mug that says that. I'm still feeling the days are long.

• 6:32Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're in days are 24 hours at this stage still.

• 6:36Georgia Allison?

  Exactly. And that couldn't be more true for people who are sitting at home being like, okay, but they're really bloody long. And I feel you there, but it does go fast, it really does. Anyway, what about you, Freya?

• 6:47Freya Bleathman?

  Uh, I had a pretty uneventful week, to be honest, just a bit of a bog standard. One thing that we did that was really fun was there's, I think they're just Melbourne based, but I'm sure there'd be similar things elsewhere. It's called, I think, Glee Club Sing Along.

• 7:01Georgia Allison?

  Oh.

• 7:02Freya Bleathman?

  And we went to this, they do once a month at each location and we went to the Pride Centre in St Kilda.

• 7:08Rafa Husain?

  Oh, so cute.

• 7:10Freya Bleathman?

  Cindy Law for Sing Along. And we, it was six till 7.30 or something. We brought Golds with us.

• 7:15Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, this is, this is the level up for rhyme time.

• 7:17Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, I know.

• 7:18Freya Bleathman?

  I was gonna say, it's rhyme time. Rhyme time for grownups.

• 7:20Rafa Husain?

  All that practice, she's ready.

• 7:22Freya Bleathman?

  She loved it, it was funny, we were like singing, girls just wanna have fun and stuff. And she's like, rah, screaming. It was hilarious and everyone was just so nice.

• 7:31Rafa Husain?

  Oh my gosh, how cute.

• 7:32Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, it was really fun and it was so nice. Like we ended on True Colours and we all like stilled around the piano and it was nice. It was in the Pride Centre and stuff, people crying.

• 7:44Rafa Husain?

  Oh my gosh, that's very sweet.

• 7:46Freya Bleathman?

  There's something about singing in a group and it wasn't a choir, you know, we did a few run throughs and things, but it wasn't, you do this part, you do this part. It was just, you just sort of had your piece of paper and you sang along and it was just fun.

• 7:58Rafa Husain?

  Oh so nice.

• 7:59Freya Bleathman?

  Tickets were like 15 or 20 dollars or something.

• 8:01Rafa Husain?

  Therapeutic.

• 8:02Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 8:03Rafa Husain?

  We need to do a pub choir one day, I don't know if you've done it before, but also similar, but you like belt out a tune and it's like this group, like group choir. The last one was at the Forum and it's like the most like euphoric. Yeah, sold out, sells out every tour that they do, so we'll add that to the.

• 8:22Georgia Allison?

  To the Room recommendations?

• 8:23Rafa Husain?

  Yeah. So we had an episode earlier this week that we, if you haven't listened to it, please do. It was essentially around postpartum return to sex. The TikTok that we looked at was a lady called Hope Brown who showed a video of presenting a cake to her girlfriends and essentially the cake must have said, I'm pregnant again. And the girlfriends were actually meeting her 12, 14 week old baby. I can't remember the exact details. 14 week old baby, thank you. And we dove into the comment section and there was a lot in there. So many opinions around what's safe return to sex postpartum, having a baby, all that sort of stuff. And we shared our opinions on that episode. And yeah, we just thought it was worth nodding to a few of the comments that we got.

• 9:06Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:07Rafa Husain?

  The cut down both on Instagram from our episode, but also feedback from the episode.

• 9:12Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, it, it, there were some strong opinions. One of the opinions we shared was about the comments around, or seemingly policing her body. The top comment in response to our episode at the time of this recording has 261 likes. The comments were because her body needs time to heal. It's dangerous for a woman's body to go through that again so soon. And being a baby making machine is normalised in our society. Women have woken up to this. They are looking out for her and for other women. Marital sexual assault is incredibly common and normalised and there is a shift in awareness happening. That waiting period should be acknowledged and respected by her partner. So that was some of the comments that we got on our sort of cut down of our episode. And we just wanted to chat about that.

• 9:58Georgia Allison?

  What did you guys, what do, what do you think, Rafa? Like given you are someone who had your babies pretty close together, what was your thoughts?

• 10:04Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I think for context state, I have a 13 month gap between my two year old and my one year old. So I think it puts me at a timeline, maybe three or four weeks after Hope Brown's video of finding out that she was pregnant. I would say that in my case, it was a consensual return to sex. I absolutely.

• 10:27Freya Bleathman?

  And I think in hopes as well, I mean, I think we can't infer anything untoward about her sexual experience with her husband and infer any, because she was saying in the comments, completely consensual and all of those sorts of things, which I think is worth saying. Because I think there was maybe, particularly in the comments on her video, a lot of, uh, maybe some longbows were drawn about how she got pregnant. And pretty serious allegations, to be honest.

• 10:57Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I think so. So I, in my personal experience, when I present to the doctor, thinking that I was pregnant, they um, did ask me, like, you know, how am I, how am I feeling? And at that stage, I was in so much shock because it was not a planned pregnancy. I got pregnant on the pill. So, and I was exclusively breastfeeding, not that I was using that as a form of contraception, but um, it's just worth noting. So in my case, there are risks for sure. On the, on the toll that pregnancy can take on a body, your birth, how you birthed that previous child, all comes into consideration. At the end of the day, the doctor said, you had a pretty healthy vaginal

• 11:37Rafa Husain?

  delivery. Um, you know, you are pregnant, you're fit, healthy. And those guidelines, I think Freya, you may have mentioned in the previous episode, guidelines are there for a reason, because it standardises across various socio-economic groups, like, you know, diverse groups of people and global standards, right? So I think they're there for a reason, good reason, but there are exceptions to the rule as well. In our case, it was um, up to me to kind of decide, you know, it's going to be physically laborious, and this is why I come back to it. I don't regret my child at all. I love my daughter, but there was risk that I had to consider because you're carrying

• 12:19Rafa Husain?

  a six-month-old baby around while you're, you know, five-ish months pregnant. Like, it's not an ideal scenario when you're like, you know, manoeuvring across that. So I think I understand the reason that guidelines exist and, you know, there are risks. But at the same time, it's a huge call to make around the marital sexual assault in this video. And I think that's probably the, the point to make.

• 12:49Freya Bleathman?

  And I guess your doctors, I imagine, would they have said, look, there are some risks, but in all likelihood, you will have a completely normal pregnancy. The vast majority of people, even if it's really close together, will have an uncomplicated.

• 13:03Rafa Husain?

  Correct. And they used my previous pregnancy and birth as like, the guideline, I guess, where I did have a pretty straightforward pregnancy, birth um, situation. And I think what I find challenging about the comments is we absolutely agree that, you know, consent is important. You know, marital sexual assault is this very serious thing, but it's hard when you see those comments, assuming that that is exactly what's happened. Like, it wasn't the case for me. And so I don't think we can assume that that was the case, that she didn't have a choice in that, um, you know, story.

• 13:40Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah. I mean, it's, this is why I love this podcast so much. Everyone's just, I don't know, I feel like our listeners are so eloquent and smart and articulate. Uh, so yeah, we love, genuinely love getting feedback. We love it when you agree, disagree, have points we didn't touch on. It's what makes this, I think, such a great show.

• 14:01Georgia Allison?

  We also asked for feedback from our queer listeners about their experience in a queer relationship and when they return to sex. One of our responses was, I'm in a two-mum family and listen to the latest ep. We didn't have sex until my wife was maybe six months postpartum. She was super touched out by breastfeeding and had a big recovery from her C-section. She's still breastfeeding and we probably have sex every few months, but have really tried to remove any pressure from ourselves. When I was still dating men, I did feel more cultural pressure and maybe some light pressure from them to have sex more regularly. I think that there can be an expectation that men connect through sex. There doesn't seem to be that cultural expectation with women, so have found being with women quite liberating in that respect.

• 14:44Rafa Husain?

  Oh my gosh.

• 14:44Georgia Allison?

  I'm not surprised at all.

• 14:46Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, men are the problem. In this whole situation.

• 14:51Freya Bleathman?

  And the social expectations on men too, there's an expectation that they want to have so much sex and they should have this huge libido. I mean, I'm sure they probably feel pressured too, I don't know.

• 15:03Rafa Husain?

  That's to work against men though, so that's probably why.

• 15:07Georgia Allison?

  I actually feel like that's the perfect segue into what we're going to be talking about today, which is the moment I knew I needed a divorce. I am really keen to hear your thoughts about this TikTok that we all had a look at. It starts off by saying, my husband fucking hates me and I need to talk about it. It's by the TikTok user Zabe Gill. At the time of recording, it's had about nearly 14 million views, uh, 1.9 million likes, and we're going to listen to it right now.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  My husband fucking hates me and I need to talk about it. So every single weekend for the last, I don't know, years and years and years, I generally am the one that gets up the earliest on the weekend and I cook breakfast for everybody. Well, today I got up. Eventually, basically, my husband got up, but I was still kind of tired and so I went and laid down for a little bit. Well, while I was laying down, not sleeping, laying down, he made breakfast

• 16:01Speaker 03

  for himself and the kids. He made French toast and, you know, all of those things. And so then I come out and I'm like, oh, what'd you make me? Nothing. Not even a thought in his mind to be like, oh, I'm making breakfast, I should also include my wife, because every time she makes breakfast, she just does it for me without asking. Oh, I didn't think you liked French toast. That's just one of my favourite breakfasts ever, even if I would have said, no, thank you. I didn't even have that opportunity. Yet I'm expected to ensure every single person is fed every single day in this house for every single meal. And when it comes to me, yeah, she'll

• 16:44Speaker 03

  figure it out. She doesn't matter. It's depressing that this is where I'm at in life, the ways I had to share, because I don't want to lose it today. And maybe somebody will say it's a valid feeling to feel this way.

• 16:58Georgia Allison?

  Okay.

• 17:00Freya Bleathman?

  Are her feelings valid?

• 17:02Georgia Allison?

  Are her feelings valid?

• 17:03Freya Bleathman?

  That's what she's asked. Well, that's what she thought maybe someone would say in response to the video.

• 17:07Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 17:07Rafa Husain?

  Do you think they are?

• 17:08Georgia Allison?

  I absolutely think they're valid. It's hard to watch that because she's shared this publicly. It's gone mega-viral, like, nearly 14 million people have seen it and.

• 17:19Freya Bleathman?

  Why do we think that?

• 17:20Georgia Allison?

  I think because lots of people can relate to that experience. I think, I think a lot of our listeners will have had a version of that story played out to them in front of them, or had it done to them in some capacity.

• 17:31Rafa Husain?

  Well, that's, that's how I felt. I was like, we all partnered up, and this is talking about, you know, heterosexual, like, committed couples in our, in our case. But, you know, if you've chosen to partner, you kind of want to be on a team, right? And then I had glimpses of feeling exactly like that throughout my postpartum experiences. And you're just killing yourself for your family and then all you want to do is feel seen and appreciated in some way, shape or form. And it's like breakfast, that feels like a low effort, high-impact way to show your partner that you care and love, you know, all the, all the stuff that they're doing in their house. And then they don't get that right. And you're like, so deflating.

• 18:08Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:10Freya Bleathman?

  I mean, I almost, I think my read was almost less generous than, than that, that he just didn't think of her. My first thought was that he did think of her, but the fact that she was sleeping and he had to make breakfast, it was almost like he was punishing her. I, I, I don't know. I just can't believe that it wouldn't even cross his mind, but maybe it wouldn't. But to me, I'm like, that feels like a, a intentional thing.

• 18:40Rafa Husain?

  Oh no, that's like the exact opposite of my experience with my like husband.

• 18:45Freya Bleathman?

  Maybe with your husband.

• 18:45Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, with our husband, yeah.

• 18:47Freya Bleathman?

  I'm sort of maybe over.

• 18:49Rafa Husain?

  I think you're married to the world's nicest man.

• 18:53Freya Bleathman?

  Just to be clear, not because I relate to this. I don't know. I just, I just felt mean rather than just ignorant.

• 19:01Rafa Husain?

  And I think that's probably, like, a lot of people will feel that, that they probably have, like, spouses that could, you know, have that malicious intent. In my case, if there's no malicious intent, it's literally just a matter of fact of not thinking, like, laser-focused on kids, no wife in sight, literally out of sight, out of mind. I could be in another room and it won't be a, it's not, uh, oh, I'm making this and Raf's not here and she's not going to, it's like, I'm making this for the kids.

• 19:28Georgia Allison?

  I, I had that same thought. And that's probably because I have had a version of this uh, scenario, like, not modelled to me, but I've seen this happen in a lot of uh, relationships around me. And it's more that the person, like, devil's advocate here, maybe this husband has been. He's very task orientated, like the kids are in front of him, they want French toast, I want French toast. I will make three, you know, the kids in front of me, French toast.

• 19:55Freya Bleathman?

  Mm hmm.

• 19:55Georgia Allison?

  But, I mean, can we all agree that it's absolutely not about the French toast? This is probably the tip of an iceberg of a number of little things that her husband has done or um that she has felt underappreciated, not considered, not seen.

• 20:11Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 20:12Georgia Allison?

  And, I mean, that's interesting that you, Freya, have had a thought about it being almost like a punishment? Because that, I went into the comments and that is, some of the comments are, he's punishing you for having a lie in.

• 20:24Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 20:24Georgia Allison?

  I did not see that way. I sort of saw it as he's not seeing you. And to be loved is to be considered and he is not considering you here.

• 20:34Freya Bleathman?

  Is there a world, like, someone might have watched that or be listening to this and thinking, maybe he, because she did sort of clarify, I wasn't asleep, I was just lying down. Did he think maybe she's gone for a sleep? I'll cook breakfast for me and the kids and I'll just leave her, she can sleep as long as she wants to. And he kind of thought he was doing a nice thing, is there a world?

• 20:56Rafa Husain?

  I don't think she would go out with that video if they had a nice conversation afterwards.

• 21:00Freya Bleathman?

  If he said, I don't think you like French toast.

• 21:02Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:03Freya Bleathman?

  I don't actually think this, I'm just.

• 21:04Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, I hear you, I hear you.

• 21:06Rafa Husain?

  You know, good, good, you know.

• 21:08Freya Bleathman?

  And I think he would have jumped up and been like, oh shit, like I'll make some.

• 21:10Rafa Husain?

  Exactly, you're not, you're not doing a TikTok video. And I think, interestingly, she wants her feelings to be validated. I think they were validated too much because they're all like, leave him, you know. And I think that's pretty extreme as well, where people don't tend to share because they're worried that they're gonna be like.

• 21:26Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when people in comment sections of random people's videos. The virality of this compared to her other videos, I would imagine most of the viewers haven't seen her content before, don't know necessarily anything about her. And it seems pretty huge to me to see a snippet of someone's relationship.

• 21:46Rafa Husain?

  Hmm.

• 21:47Freya Bleathman?

  And maybe, like, we actually, we don't know what the rest of it, maybe this is a completely out of character thing, whatever. But to jump to divorce here.

• 21:55Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:56Freya Bleathman?

  And I don't know, I'm just like, that's, that's a pretty big thing to say quite flippantly.

• 22:01Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 22:02Georgia Allison?

  One of the top comments was, every divorced woman remembers the exact moment when she could no longer be in denial about the obvious and that has three hundred and twenty-three thousand likes.

• 22:11Rafa Husain?

  Hmm.

• 22:11Georgia Allison?

  So I feel like this is the moment that so many people are like, that is me, I am done, this is my out.

• 22:18Freya Bleathman?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:18Georgia Allison?

  I'm not entirely sure, like, she's done a follow-up video on her TikTok.

• 22:22Rafa Husain?

  She was blown away, she was like, oh wow.

• 22:24Georgia Allison?

  Up at the fact of the viral nature of, of the video. Um, but I'm not entirely sure if she's still with the guy, like, all the people in the, in the comments who are saying divorce him. I, how do I divorce somebody else's um husband?

• 22:38Freya Bleathman?

  I don't know, I always think it's just interesting, like, what would we actually tell a friend? If our friend was just saying this directly to our faces rather than posting it on TikTok? Would we be saying divorce him? I don't, I don't know, yeah, I just think it.

• 22:52Rafa Husain?

  No, I'd be sending them to marriage counselling if they could work it out like we did. And I think this comes back to, you know, some of the, you know, challenges that you face. Like, I really do, I felt sad when I watched that video and I probably felt sad because I am partnered with an absolute legend and yet still, you know, that, like, in our case, sometimes I can get that support, appreciation, validation wrong in a child-rearing stage of your life. And I remember some of those, you know, early post-partum days with both of my kids and just feeling so worn out, like, so, so worn out, so at my wits' end. Everything felt like fragile. It was literally, I don't know if you've seen that meme of like, a mum standing at the end of the driveway at 5pm

• 23:37Rafa Husain?

  and it's just like a kid on her hip and like the child, and they're just waiting for the partner to get home. And they looked deranged, that was me for.

• 23:45Freya Bleathman?

  Really? Sometimes when Rue gets home from work.

• 23:47Rafa Husain?

  You're on the balcony yourself.

• 23:48Freya Bleathman?

  No, he sees my phone and I've got him on phone, my friends, and he's like, were you tracking me? Because I never close my phone, I'm just like lying there, he's like, um, corvid-handed.

• 23:59Georgia Allison?

  I do, I was exactly the same. When Matt would walk in the door, I would walk out. I remember about three instances where I would walk out and I went to bloody, like, a department store, came out of Target.

• 24:08Rafa Husain?

  Heaven, that is heaven.

• 24:10Georgia Allison?

  Didn't buy anything, absolutely, it was heaven. And I was just walking numbly through the aisles just to like decompress.

• 24:16Rafa Husain?

  From the day that has been, which I, you know, in your case, I can't even imagine with the triplet boys. But um I think there's something to be seen, said about her. She looks sad, like the lack of appreciation. And I, and that's what I can like resonate, and I think that's what so many women can resonate and feeling with, feeling invisible sometimes. And so that being seen and heard piece came up a lot for us. And one thing that I got as a really good piece of advice that um has stayed with us is a partner who's coming home during a mum on mat leave or a stay-at-home mum sort of scenario. Um, or in the case, if you're a single mum and you've got friends visiting, always get the mum a water.

• 24:58Rafa Husain?

  So walk in the door and get the mum a glass of water and give them a kiss or a pat on the back or whatever that kind of natural feeling looks like before you do anything else, before you even say hi to the kids. Before you do, make sure that the person that is looking after your kids is the centre of your world when you return because they've had a fucking hell of a day and you haven't seen, who's gonna message about the thirty-seven other little things that happen outside, the shitty nappies, the poo explosions, the vomit. You're not saying that, you're saying the like, really, really bad stuff, all the other like little things that don't get mentioned. Um, they are just dying to tell you and so by getting them a glass of water means that

• 25:39Rafa Husain?

  you know that they've had a hard day, they've probably not had enough water that day and it diffuses me, or in my case.

• 25:46Georgia Allison?

  That is so true.

• 25:47Rafa Husain?

  The situation because you're like, ugh, and then Will gets me a glass of water and then I'm like, oh, you care about me.

• 25:54Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, it's a little act of service.

• 25:55Rafa Husain?

  It's a service, it's a really, really small thing, but it's massive.

• 26:00Freya Bleathman?

  Rue will always give me a kiss before he gives Goldie.

• 26:02Georgia Allison?

  I was just going to say the same for Matt. I think he really does, and I don't do that to him because I, I mean, I should. I promise I would, but I often realise that he'll come home straight to me before saying hello to the kids. I mean, they're normally running right up to him, so I don't get him first.

• 26:20Freya Bleathman?

  Shoving them out of the way. Get me to my wife.

• 26:22Georgia Allison?

  But the water thing is such a good one because it, like, just, I feel like that's water, isn't it? It just diffuses things, it cools you down, it relaxes you and your hydration.

• 26:32Freya Bleathman?

  We're dipping this glass of water.

• 26:34Rafa Husain?

  Oh yeah, it's a piece of advice. It's, it was a great piece of advice from our marriage counsellor, save you guys a couple of hundred dollars. And um and just show like, it is about that, like, feeling seen and heard. So in this case, she feels invisible. I, you know, we can all relate to that.

• 26:51Georgia Allison?

  The context to your relationship and the nuances of your relationship were missing from this TikTok. And I think this woman has done this call-out and wants her feelings validated because she knows that she's probably not alone and this might be her final straw on what is otherwise pretty unhappy.

• 27:08Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, there's a reason it's still up.

• 27:10Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, that's true, yeah.

• 27:11Freya Bleathman?

  She's kept it there, I mean, she's probably making bank on the creator fund views.

• 27:17Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 27:17Freya Bleathman?

  But maybe she does want a little push from the viewers.

• 27:21Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 27:22Freya Bleathman?

  Hmm.

• 27:23Rafa Husain?

  Well, we've got some listener feedback, but before we get into it, let's hear from today's sponsor.

• 27:27Freya Bleathman?

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• 28:08Georgia Allison?

  Love that.

• 28:09Freya Bleathman?

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• 28:39Rafa Husain?

  So we did a call-out to our Instagram with a question asking what was the moment they knew they needed a divorce? And so, Demi, our producer, has been working hard behind the, behind the scenes to get a few dropped in that we can discuss. And this one's a really interesting one to kick off with. So they said, I was married at twenty-three to my high school boyfriend, which lasted five years before I filed for divorce. Once I got to the age of twenty-six, twenty-seven, and I had friends around me starting their families, I recall looking at my partner and thinking, there is no way I am having children with you, or even sceptical that I ever wanted kids. The marriage was fine, although it left me feeling unsatisfied in a range of ways over the years. I remember just thinking, well, this must just be marriage and life.

• 29:22Rafa Husain?

  After I filed for divorce at twenty-eight, it was truly like a huge breath of fresh air, like I now had possibilities available to me that I was excited about. I was fortunate enough to meet my now fiance, who I share a beautiful little boy. It was not long after as soon as I met him. It was a guttural feeling of, oh, I need this man's babies. I'd never felt this way with my ex-husband. This sounds odd, but I'm the biggest supporter of divorce now.

• 29:46Georgia Allison?

  Wow. I feel like there'll be lots of people who might be listening like this and thinking, you know, like, should I stay or should I go?

• 29:54Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 29:55Georgia Allison?

  Especially if there's kids not involved, if you're feeling this way about a relationship and there's kids not involved, I would really question whether or not, you know. Kids are on the agenda.

• 30:07Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 30:07Georgia Allison?

  I feel like once you bring kids into the life, into a life with a partner, it's really difficult to, to let that go, to let that relationship go.

• 30:16Freya Bleathman?

  Hmm. And you can never really extricate yourself.

• 30:18Georgia Allison?

  No, you can't. That's true.

• 30:20Freya Bleathman?

  Relationship with that person.

• 30:21Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 30:21Freya Bleathman?

  If you're sharing children.

• 30:23Georgia Allison?

  Children.

• 30:23Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I think the part that stands out the most to me was the feeling of unsatisfaction in a range of ways over the years. Like, I don't know, do you think that's fixable?

• 30:37Freya Bleathman?

  I think you can have seasons.

• 30:39Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 30:40Freya Bleathman?

  Where you might be unsatisfied or not so happy, or uh maybe a bit ambivalent about a relationship. And I think that's actually quite normal.

• 30:50Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Freya Bleathman?

  But I think the years piece, I, I feel my gut sort of, that can be a few months.

• 30:58Georgia Allison?

  Hmm.

• 30:58Freya Bleathman?

  I don't know. What do you think?

• 31:00Georgia Allison?

  I, what, what really stuck with me is her thinking there is no way I'm having children with you.

• 31:05Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 31:06Georgia Allison?

  So it's, I feel, for me, I feel like she didn't see a future.

• 31:09Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 31:09Georgia Allison?

  And she wasn't completely sure that she wanted children.

• 31:12Rafa Husain?

  Hmm.

• 31:13Georgia Allison?

  And then obviously on reflection with hindsight, when she left the relationship, she's met a new partner. And she realised, no, it was because of the person I was with. I feel like that's a gut feeling or an intuition that this woman's felt, that she's acted upon and had the bravery to do so.

• 31:28Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 31:28Georgia Allison?

  Um, so hats off because it's a really difficult decision. A person really close to me has gone through a divorce in the last like five years. And it's no easy feat. Children are involved in that specific situation. And it's really difficult and really challenging. And I think there's a little bit of taboo around divorce being so young. Like you're not giving it a go or trying.

• 31:49Freya Bleathman?

  General, I'm, there's a lot of shame.

• 31:50Georgia Allison?

  There is, which is bizarre because the odds are stacked against us if you are married. Like the three of us are married, but truly the stats are that, what is it, one in three?

• 32:02Freya Bleathman?

  Something like that.

• 32:02Georgia Allison?

  One in three marriages ends in divorce. Like it's not, it shouldn't be that taboo, but weirdly it is, at least in my life. Like there's, like my parents are still together. A lot of my friends and family's parents are still together. There's very few of my friends' parents' relationships that have ended in divorce. Like that has to say something to us, I think.

• 32:24Freya Bleathman?

  I mean, as a child of divorce.

• 32:26Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, let's hear.

• 32:28Freya Bleathman?

  I think while it does complicate things, having kids, I think the alternative. If my parents had stayed together, I think that would have been far, far worse for us and them.

• 32:41Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 32:42Freya Bleathman?

  Um, so I don't wanna make it sound like, oh, once you've got kids together, you have to.

• 32:46Georgia Allison?

  No, of course.

• 32:47Freya Bleathman?

  Stay together. Uh, I think, you know, it's a shitty situation, but there's still net benefit. To getting out of a shittier situation. Yeah.

• 32:58Rafa Husain?

  You mentioned Georgia not being able to see a future with him and having kids. Did you, either of you, interested to know, did you see your partner and go, they're gonna be a great dad? Like how early on or?

• 33:10Freya Bleathman?

  Well, Georgia, you got with Matt really young, so I'd be interested to hear.

• 33:14Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, I, I, I don't think I like consciously thought about it. It was more of a subconscious, like I knew that, I knew he would be a good dad. And I mean, we've been together for a long time. We've always worked towards similar goals. And family was definitely one of those goals. But it wasn't like, I saw him, I'm like, you're gonna be an amazing father straight up. I think over time, and I just knew, his father is beautiful, so like my father-in-law is lovely. So I just knew that he would be a great dad. But I do recall actually, when I found out I was having, like when I found out I was having triplets, and then I found out that they were all boys, like I knew that they were all gonna be boys.

• 33:53Georgia Allison?

  I recall thinking, like, I felt like a weight on my shoulders about bringing up good little people. But also especially good boys that are turned into really good men. And I remember feeling relieved that it was Matt who I was going to be doing that with. Because he set such a beautiful example to lots of my friends, actually. He's a really good role model to many people in his lives. Like he's just like an all-round legend. But I love the way he displays masculinity. So I felt really great about that. So.

• 34:26Freya Bleathman?

  Hmm.

• 34:26Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, maybe that's what I felt like when I found out I was having the three boys. That really solidified he's the person, I'm so glad he's the person I'm doing it with.

• 34:36Rafa Husain?

  Yeah. How about you with Rue?

• 34:38Freya Bleathman?

  Uh, I, I always knew Rue. Rue's a very dutiful person. Like he really is, if he has a role, he, that's really important to him.

• 34:48Georgia Allison?

  Wow.

• 34:49Freya Bleathman?

  I mean, even, it was funny, when we got married, he, I was sort of a bit ambivalent about actually getting married. And I think probably, I sort of didn't wanna wedding because I, you know, have parents that don't get along. I just, I, I felt a bit anxious about that whole thing. So I've always been a bit ambivalent about a wedding and getting married. And for me, it was just like, well, I, I don't feel any differently, whether you're my husband or my partner. But for him, it was really important to get married. And it was funny, because I think I said, has, has anything changed for you since we got married? And he was like, everything has changed.

• 35:22Georgia Allison?

  Wow, that's such an interesting point. Because people ask me that.

• 35:25Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 35:25Georgia Allison?

  Do you feel different now?

• 35:26Freya Bleathman?

  And I didn't. I felt exactly the same the day before as the day after, but he was like, I am a husband now.

• 35:32Georgia Allison?

  Wow, so it was the role. Yeah.

• 35:35Freya Bleathman?

  And he, I, it was the same. He's like, I am a father now. This is my priority. But I, I think. Almost more importantly, like I knew he'd be a good dad, but I knew he'd be a good husband.

• 35:46Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 35:46Freya Bleathman?

  And I knew that, he used to say, I don't think he actually stands by this, but when I was pregnant, he would say, like, when this baby's born, you're gonna love that baby more than anything else in the world. And you'll love that baby more than me. I will always love you more than anything else in the world.

• 36:01Georgia Allison?

  Oh.

• 36:02Freya Bleathman?

  I, I actually don't, I think once she was born, he was like.

• 36:06Freya Bleathman?

  But it's a nice sentiment. He really does kind of live like that. Yeah.

• 36:10Rafa Husain?

  Oh, that's so beautiful. Love that.

• 36:13Georgia Allison?

  What about you, Raf? What, did you look at Will and think you're gonna be an amazing?

• 36:17Rafa Husain?

  I was about twenty-three when I met Will, who's three years older than me. And I definitely not, my dad didn't go to like dad territory at all.

• 36:26Freya Bleathman?

  He really gives dad.

• 36:27Rafa Husain?

  But he does. He does. And a lot of people, yeah, he's a daddy.

• 36:32Georgia Allison?

  Will's gonna love that.

• 36:33Freya Bleathman?

  He's gonna love that.

• 36:34Rafa Husain?

  Um, but my sister got married and pregnant with her twins the year that I met Will. And so we became an aunt and uncle together.

• 36:44Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 36:45Rafa Husain?

  Um, to my niece and nephew, who I love like my own, Will does too. And so Uncle Will is what they call him. And he has been Uncle Will for a decade. And he's like, I don't know how I'm gonna go from being Uncle Will to a dad, because like, but he was so well prepped for it. Because I saw him in this beautiful phase. I absolutely adore being an aunt. He has adored being an uncle. I think it taught us so much about parenting in general. So when I saw him take on that role, I was like, oh, you're gonna be a great dad. And it kind of got me excited for that chapter when we were, when it was gonna happen um to us. Because he's just so epic with kids um as a whole. And, you know, for him, he has been waiting to be a dad.

• 37:26Rafa Husain?

  Like if he could have been a dad earlier, he would have been. But was very respectful of the timing of it and when I felt ready. Because whilst I love my family, I don't think in my twenties that like that maternal instinct had kicked in. Probably because I was loving being an aunt, to be honest. Um, but yeah, I think it's just kind of gone on a journey. It was a bit of a slower burn.

• 37:45Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 37:46Rafa Husain?

  Decade.

• 37:46Georgia Allison?

  I actually touched on the fact that it's like seeing him with like a child, like with, with your nieces and nephews. I, I think we can all recall seeing like someone that you had a crush on or you loved, holding a baby and you're thinking, far out, I can actually see this happening now. And maybe that also like spurs something in you being like, actually I can see this person that I'm like dating, married to or having a crush on in a dad figure. And that sort of can change it a bit.

• 38:15Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, so true.

• 38:16Freya Bleathman?

  Should we hear from our next listener answer about when they knew they needed a divorce? But first, let's quickly hear from today's sponsor. As we head into summer, my skincare goal is pretty simple. Skin that feels good and doesn't take up any brain space. Because when you're a mum, anything that simplifies the routine is a win. That's why Mixer comes in. Their high-quality ingredient-led skincare range is all about giving you skin you don't have to think too much about. It's skincare that's warm, easy, family-friendly, and a hundred percent tested on sensitive skin. So it's one range the whole family can share. And honestly, that's a win in my book.

• 38:51Rafa Husain?

  Another piece of feedback, we got to the question, what was the moment you knew you needed a divorce? Was working four days a week with two boys, six months and two years, doing all the housework, all the admin, all the cooking and exhausted. Left ten years ago and life became so much easier for me, even though I became a single parent. I didn't have another adult to look after.

• 39:12Freya Bleathman?

  I mean, that's pretty damning. To have a six-month-old and a two-year-old, and it's still easier without a co-parent.

• 39:18Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 39:19Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 39:19Georgia Allison?

  That's crazy. Like, I, I mean, I think a lot of people who, um, or like especially for this listener. Like if you're, you've got a two-year-old and a six-month-old, and maybe she felt like she had a third child.

• 39:31Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 39:31Georgia Allison?

  And she just is like, let's just cut my losses there. And now she feels a bit more liberated, that she doesn't have maybe someone else to care for.

• 39:38Freya Bleathman?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:38Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Georgia Allison?

  It almost ties into the TikTok.

• 39:41Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I was gonna say that kind of brings back.

• 39:43Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Rafa Husain?

  To that original sentiment because. She's looking after another baby.

• 39:49Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 39:49Rafa Husain?

  And you know what, when you sign up to be a wife, maybe you don't want your husband baby, you just want your two kids and it's easier.

• 39:58Rafa Husain?

  And, you know, that's what I kind of felt. I, I don't know if you've ever had instances where sometimes solo parenting can feel easier, even if it's like short bursts of time, because you're like, oh, there's not another person in this equation. Like, I'm just gonna take them to the park at this time. I'm gonna do this dinner. Or like, you know, sometimes when Will's not home for dinner, I'm like, I'm gonna make eggs.

• 40:17Georgia Allison?

  Yeah.

• 40:17Rafa Husain?

  We're not going through this extravagant.

• 40:20Freya Bleathman?

  Rue is, he's such a little princess. We talked about princess moments and Shameless have covered it. Rue needs a, I, I actually don't do most of the cooking, so whatever, he can demand what he wants if he's doing it. But he loves a freshly cooked meal. I'm a big leftover girl.

• 40:35Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I know a lot of people that are partnered with guys that are like, don't like frozen.

• 40:41Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 40:42Rafa Husain?

  Defrosted.

• 40:42Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah.

• 40:43Rafa Husain?

  Must be fresh. And you're like.

• 40:44Georgia Allison?

  Well, I hope you're making it.

• 40:45Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, but in those instances, they are.

• 40:47Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:48Rafa Husain?

  Rue, little princess. But yeah, it's just interesting that she's gone, I'm gonna cut my losses and this is easier.

• 40:53Georgia Allison?

  That's interesting that you draw upon it being, or feeling sometimes easier when you don't have another adult in the room. Cause I can really resonate with that, being like, sometimes if I'm just at home alone, it can just be a little bit easier. The kids maybe don't have to play off mum and dad. And like, if, if I say no to something, they're not going straight to dad and saying, can I watch the television? I wanna watch this. And so it's just like, no, I've said no, get in the bath and we'll have our dinner. Go to bed, read a book. And it's a bit easier. But weirdly, like, if I would felt like if I was a single parent with my three kids, it would be fully draining. The emotional exhaustion that I feel when I get my kids ready for childcare in the morning and then head off to work.

• 41:37Georgia Allison?

  If I didn't have someone to bounce off that sort of exhaustion, or even just the decision fatigue of having children. I, like, it must have been really fucking bad.

• 41:48Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 41:49Georgia Allison?

  That she has like left that with a six month old and a two year old.

• 41:53Rafa Husain?

  In that age of life.

• 41:54Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 41:55Rafa Husain?

  And I'm like, yeah, it's, I couldn't fathom it.

• 41:58Georgia Allison?

  And I mean, yeah, like, I feel like there's lots of experiences or that, you know, of people in my life who have divorced with older children. And it is a lot easier because maybe the kids are at school, you're a bit more in your career. So like, financial pressure of all the financial independence is a bit easier to ascertain. But I think, you know, if you have little kids and you're going through a divorce, I think it would be awfully hard. Like the example I gave earlier, my, someone really close to me went through a divorce. And she had a really young child. And from my perspective, on behalf of her, is just the joy that you weren't able to share with the person you made the baby with.

• 42:42Georgia Allison?

  Like developmental, like little joys that their child gave to her. She's not able to share that with someone. I mean, we're there and everything, but it's, it's hard. It's, it's really hard.

• 42:54Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, I feel like, you know, overall, I'm like, wow, cut off. Because that was definitely the harder choice, I would say, overall, than staying in an unhappy.

• 43:07Freya Bleathman?

  Harder in the moment, maybe in the short term.

• 43:09Rafa Husain?

  But then exactly right, like to take that effort and go.

• 43:12Georgia Allison?

  I would love to know the stats of if you had a bit more of a equal mental load or the, the jobs are equally shared between two partners. I dare say that they are ending in a bit more of a happier marriage or relationship.

• 43:28Freya Bleathman?

  I'm pretty sure our generation has lower rates of divorce than the generation above us. I think I've heard that. And I have also heard that partners are generally much more involved in our generation than older generation. So I wonder if there's something to that.

• 43:44Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, a hundred percent.

• 43:46Georgia Allison?

  I would, I would, I would say that's, I would agree with that, with, with like the experiences that I have had in my life. Like, I mean, my mum will always comment on how amazing Matt is, which he is, he's an amazing dad. But I mean, like, it's his kids. What are we expecting him? Like, I think because of how she's grown up and how her father parented her, and then, you know, my dad, it's a different, it's, it's been a different experience for sure.

• 44:12Freya Bleathman?

  When we were recording last week, Rue had Goldie and he was going for a walk and an older man stopped him. And he was like, oh, you baby, is that your kid? And Rue was like, yeah. He's like, oh, you're babysitting for mum today.

• 44:23Rafa Husain?

  I was gonna say, this rakes of men that are like, I'm babysitting my kids.

• 44:27Freya Bleathman?

  And Rue was like.

• 44:28Georgia Allison?

  You're parenting.

• 44:29Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, I'm parenting my daughter.

• 44:30Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am out with my daughter because I want to be. Hard to imagine, you know, these modern day men. But yeah, I think it's interesting because I have, through our marriage counselling and, you know, they're describing of what happens in a marriage. It's actually a slow erosion.

• 44:49Georgia Allison?

  Hmm.

• 44:49Rafa Husain?

  Over the course, on, on average, there's six years of unhappiness.

• 44:53Georgia Allison?

  Before something happens.

• 44:54Rafa Husain?

  Before people make a choice to divorce.

• 44:57Freya Bleathman?

  Well, they say seven year itch, don't they?

• 44:59Rafa Husain?

  Say that again.

• 45:00Georgia Allison?

  Don't they say seven year itch?

• 45:01Rafa Husain?

  Yeah. So I think it's just interesting, like, it's, it's, it's six years of those French toast mornings, you know? And that's probably to your point, like, that's not, it's not about the French toast. It's everything that's been happening around it.

• 45:13Freya Bleathman?

  So we didn't actually have any stats from the census today, although we do have some stats on divorce. But we will just include a couple more pieces of advice that some women gave at the end that had been through a divorce. And these were their little tidbits. One was, your life is not over if you divorce in your twenties. There's more to life than a mediocre man and you deserve more than that.

• 45:34Georgia Allison?

  Hmm.

• 45:35Freya Bleathman?

  I would honestly recommend people not get married in their twenties, but I understand my experience is not everyone's. I do think being single in my twenties has been vital for me. When did you, when did you guys get married? We were all in our thirties, weren't we? Yeah.

• 45:48Georgia Allison?

  I think I was just shy of being thirty, so like, I don't know, six months.

• 45:52Freya Bleathman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go. And then the final piece is, there is a club of women who have gone through divorce.

• 45:58Rafa Husain?

  Hmm.

• 45:58Freya Bleathman?

  Especially those who married and divorced in their twenties. It's not the group you want to be a part of, but it is an incredibly supportive and loving group. You've got this, honey.

• 46:07Georgia Allison?

  Yeah, love that.

• 46:08Freya Bleathman?

  This listener sounds so fucking nice.

• 46:10Rafa Husain?

  Yeah, that is such a good, like, yeah.

• 46:12Freya Bleathman?

  I think that's all we've got time for.

• 46:13Rafa Husain?

  Yeah.

• 46:14Freya Bleathman?

  If you were listening to this episode and thinking that you know someone who might have a few thoughts about what we spoke about, please do send it on. And please send in your thoughts and questions. We'd love to hear about your experiences and relationships and whether, you know, what we heard from our listeners reflects the situation you found yourself in, or if you've got any other thoughts that we didn't cover today. We will share it in our next episode. Also, please do follow us at The Room Podcast on Instagram or email us at [email protected] and we'll be back in your ears this Thursday.

• 46:49Georgia Allison?

  Thank you.

• 46:50Rafa Husain?

  For now.

• 46:50Freya Bleathman?

  Bye.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Shameless Media. This podcast was recorded on Wurundjeri land, always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

• 47:06Speaker 05

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