The Traitors Special: Alan Carr is here and Shanthi plays Claudia Winkleman

Happy Bonfire Night! The main question we are asking is: would Shanthi be a Faithful or a Traitor? It’s Thursday, so Romesh’s mum Shanthi is here to answer your questions and family dilemmas. Plus, there’s a very special surprise guest: The Traitors’ very own Alan Carr. Alan talks tactics in the castle to the moments they never want to make the edit - with Romesh revealing his truth about James Acaster… Shanthi unveils her best Claudia Winkleman impression, and the pair role play the Traitors round table. Plus, there are listener dilemmas from parenting to strong opinions on bonfires and firework displays. Happy Bonfire Night from Romesh, Shanthi and the whole Ranga Bee team. A Ranga Bee Production. Chapters: 00:00 Intro01:42 Shanthi does Claudia Winkleman03:57 Testing the new studio04:26 Romesh's Traitors win06:23 The Traitors vs Last One Laughing14:22 Airport searches and border control18:28 Phone calls from the castle26:44 Why Romesh didn't go to Oxford28:46 Listener questions44:11 Ellie: Traitor or faithful?50:00 Round table role play52:00 How seriously do people take the game?53:07 Who did Romesh keep in touch with?54:09 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Well, fuck me and the chops. It's time for the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan Show.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  Are beaming round the world.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  On all podcast platforms. Like and subscribe. Uh, as always, what's the, are we getting rate shared on this podcast? What's the, are people liking and subscribing?

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Not as much as we'd want them to be. We still do need to.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  But is that always true?

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Well, that could change.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Would there ever be a point where you go, actually, people are getting a bit over excited? Could we, could we rein in the likes and subscribes a little bit, please? Bit thirsty. That's not likely to, that wouldn't be an answer. Okay. As always, I'm joined by my dear on camera mother, Mrs. Shanthi Ranganathan.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  And the team of little chimpy fucks who are also here. Yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 00

  How are you, Mum?

• 1:04Speaker 02

  I'm fine, thank you, Mum.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Good.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  That was lovely introduction.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  Oh, was it?

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was beautiful.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  Except the chimps.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  Except the chimps. I know, they're hideous. What can you do about them? But they have to do it. They're like pressing the little, the camera buttons and sometimes they'll scratch here and sniff to see what's going on. I wonder what that secretion is, they'll say to themselves.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Too much?

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  I know it is too much. They're horrible, aren't they?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  No, I love them. I love them so much.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  I know, I know, I know, tragic. Uh, okay. Mum, we're going to chat a bit, a bit about the traitors today.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  What I'd like you to do is introduce the show in the style of Claudia Winkleman. On traitors.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Shall I pull you down?

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Over your eyes, there you go. There you go.

• 1:50Speaker 00

  That's perfect.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:52Speaker 00

  That's great.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  And actually, pull it down a bit more, just cover your eyes a bit more.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  There you go. That's great.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  That is actually pretty much how she has it, yeah.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  Yeah. And you are about.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  I can't see.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, and you are about the same shade as well.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  So, could you?

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Are you a traitor or faithful? Whatever you are, welcome to Romesh Ranganathan Show.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 3:10Speaker 05

  Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed wifi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  With me, Shanti.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  This advertisement is brought to you by Apple Watch. Uh, as you know, I've been on a journey with my health and fitness over the years and what a glap it's been. Uh, and I'm still learning, but what I do know is how important it is to listen to your body and know if it needs a big gym session or rely on the sofa. A wise person, perhaps me, once said that the heart tells the story of your health. And with the new Apple Watch Series 12, you can understand it better than ever. It's got this new readiness score, which basically tells you whether it's a let's go or do less day based on your activity, vitals and sleep. And it's now backed by the most advanced heart rate sensing in an Apple Watch yet, helping you get a better picture of where your health is at. Visit apple.com slash UK slash Apple Watch Series 12 to learn more. Requires iPhone 11 or later.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  For general wellness purposes only, not intended for clinical use or to detect, diagnose, monitor or treat medical conditions. Now, Mum, the traitors finally went out on Friday. Who knows what happened? Uh, but there's someone else I need to talk to today that truly understands what it's like to be in a castle with a bunch of celebrities.

• 4:41Speaker 00

  This is going to be magic, isn't it? Is this going to be magic?

• 4:43Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Will you add an effect in?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  What are you going to do?

• 4:46Speaker 00

  I'm going to click my fingers, but are you going to add an effect in?

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  Do you need me to do anything afterwards? Hold on, let me try.

• 4:54Speaker 00

  Alan, we're in the new studio. I say new studio, it's your guinea pig because we're testing the studio out and we're currently a two studio podcast. We're also testing it on my mum because if anything falls down and stuff, we think it'll probably be all right. So that's it. Congratulations, you're in the new studio, but not new, it's not, we're not launching it yet. This is soft launch. You're a soft launch and my mum is a soft launch. It's a double soft launch.

• 5:18Speaker 06

  Well, I've got to say congratulations on the traitors, Ron.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Thank you very much. It's very kind of you.

• 5:23Speaker 06

  How are you feeling about it all?

• 5:24Speaker 00

  Feeling really good about it. I'm really excited about, um, the response to me donating the money to refugee charity.

• 5:33Speaker 06

  God, people just can't give anyone a break, can they? What the hell?

• 5:40Speaker 00

  They turned up at Radio 2.

• 5:42Speaker 06

  No, no, no. People are mad. People are mad.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Insane. Why couldn't it be for proper British charities?

• 5:52Speaker 06

  Oh my gosh, insane. But listen, how was it you keeping it secret? Did you tell anyone? Did you tell anyone?

• 6:01Speaker 00

  No.

• 6:02Speaker 06

  You did, you did.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  No, I didn't. How dare you?

• 6:06Speaker 06

  You must come off it.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  No, I told Lisa.

• 6:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  I told Lisa.

• 6:10Speaker 06

  Yeah. Because the thing is, because you're away so long, you have to say, don't you?

• 6:14Speaker 00

  Well, it's a bit obvious, isn't it?

• 6:16Speaker 06

  I know, because I was seeing people who were like being photographed back in London.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:21Speaker 06

  Poor old Paloma.

• 6:26Speaker 06

  There she's in the middle aisle of Little, one day in.

• 6:31Speaker 00

  Did you win?

• 6:34Speaker 00

  They must film for fucking ages.

• 6:37Speaker 06

  No, no. But yeah, yeah. Yeah, I, I told, I, I told Amanda Holden.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 6:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's, she's the only person I told.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  Do you know what? She, she, I mean, I know she's a good mate of yours, but it's quite a high risk strategy, isn't it? Telling Amanda.

• 6:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but she, she's a good secret.

• 6:54Speaker 00

  Is she really?

• 6:55Speaker 06

  She, yeah, I'd tell her everything.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  Oh, well, that's good.

• 6:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 00

  That's good. Um, yeah, I told Lisa, but Lisa wasn't, you know, she was just like, okay, that's why you're away for so long.

• 7:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Um.

• 7:05Speaker 06

  Did she like you being away for so long?

• 7:07Speaker 00

  I think there was part of it that she enjoyed. I mean, I, I think that she got into a routine and then she had to slightly get used to me being back.

• 7:14Speaker 06

  God.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  I'm sharing something serious here.

• 7:17Speaker 06

  Okay, so.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  How, how fed up are you of talking about traitors?

• 7:23Speaker 06

  Uh, really, really fed, but it's different with you, isn't it? Because you've been there, because all I get asked about is that fucking breakfast.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 7:31Speaker 06

  It was so disgusting.

• 7:35Speaker 06

  But you had a different, I mean, let's not go, but you, you had a different experience to me. I was going to talk to you about this.

• 7:40Speaker 00

  Incredibly immersive.

• 7:41Speaker 06

  Immersive. Do you, because we did Last One Laughing together. And how I felt were going in there, because people said it was a different vibe when we were in the Last One Laughing from the first one. I think we're like, I was so nervous about spoiling, because everyone loved the first one and everyone ended up loving the second one. But I came out of there, did you, thinking?

• 8:03Speaker 00

  Well, we had a conversation about it because.

• 8:05Speaker 06

  Where's the laughs?

• 8:05Speaker 00

  Because when you, when you watched series one.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  You're going, this is so funny.

• 8:10Speaker 06

  Oh, I know.

• 8:10Speaker 00

  And then you go into the thing for series two of Last One Laughing.

• 8:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  And you're sort of like, nobody's laughing. This is like, is this okay? You and I were like, are they going to put this out?

• 8:19Speaker 06

  I'm like, this is going to be like the worst rated thing. And I'm like, everyone, you're trying to tell jokes and people are just like.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  Oh, God.

• 8:26Speaker 06

  And it was your fucking eye thing that got me out.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  Grape in the tumbler.

• 8:30Speaker 06

  God, don't.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  But it ended up being all right. But I do think what you said about Last One Laughing is sort of similar to what happened in Traitors. Because when you guys went in, you were just like.

• 8:43Speaker 06

  Laughing, we were laughing about.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  You know, you were, it was so, but then what happened was when, when we all went in for the second one, everybody's seen that one. They know where people have come unstuck and so there's, they're taking it a bit more seriously.

• 8:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  So it's a different energy, I think.

• 8:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, but I love watching just for a little reminder of what it was like and stuff. But the, the paranoia thing, you, you do get there, but you, you're a slave to the edit really. You don't really know. I mean, there was bits in there, I was shitting myself watching it, because you know what I'm like? With my face, I'm sort of rolling my eyes, my mouth in wankered and people are saying, you don't know if it's going to be in.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  I know, there's so many things I said and I thought, please don't let that make the edit.

• 9:21Speaker 06

  I know, I know.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  There's one bit, there's one bit that didn't make the edit and James Acaster was like, he was so excited for this to make the edit. Because at one point at the round table, somebody said, feels like the traitor's been served up to us on a plate. And I said, I just sort of so got carried away. I went, well, if they've been served up, let's eat. And as soon as I said that, I just thought.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  God, Ron.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, all right, mate.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  As soon as I said that, I thought, dear God, please don't let that make it. I've just got carried away in the moment. And Acaster came up to me afterwards and he goes, I cannot fucking wait for that to go out. And thankfully, thankfully, they cut it out, but it was.

• 9:53Speaker 06

  What about my bit? I mean, this might be grim. I'll say it anyway and then you can cut it out ever, but just sometimes I was getting so into it. Like Stephen Fry went, look around the table, who is sleepy? Like this, and he said, um, he said, Kat, I saw you asleep in front of the radiator. She went, and I'm, I'm autistic. He went, oh, okay. And he said, Lucy, I saw you having a sleep as well. She went, I'm on my period. I said, ha, one's on the spectrum, one's on the blob.

• 10:29Speaker 06

  So I was like, please don't, please don't put, please don't put that in. So they didn't, but I was shitting myself. Because you don't know, they, they film you all the time.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  I know, I know.

• 10:41Speaker 06

  All the time.

• 10:42Speaker 00

  I know. And there's lots of times where you can't help it, you sort of forget that you're being filmed.

• 10:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  And there's so, a couple of bits where I thought, shit, it's so stupid, naive of me. I was like, oh my God, that, that's in the show. And in, in the moment, I wasn't thinking about the show at all. You're just sort of like doing whatever. It's such, it's such, I don't, I think it's, I know it's such an obvious thing to say. People have got no idea how intense it is. And you feel like, but when people go.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  And we gave you that 20 minutes exercise.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Was that down, yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 06

  That, yes. I've never in my life said, can I have 20 minutes of exercise?

• 11:20Speaker 06

  I've never said it.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  So this is.

• 11:23Speaker 06

  That's how it fucked ahead. I'm like, I need exercise. I'm like, Alan, who are you? And then they take you to that wood where it looks like something on like a fucking Netflix true crime.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  It's so, it's like, it's so.

• 11:34Speaker 06

  There's a man coming out holding a spade.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 06

  Give it 10 minutes.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  But you know, there's come and knock on your door at the hotel and you open the door and they go, I've come to take you for your walk.

• 11:46Speaker 06

  I know.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  And then you just go, thank you.

• 11:48Speaker 06

  That's the future, isn't it? Come on, Mr. Carr. I used to live in a castle. I went bankrupt. Come on, Alan.

• 11:57Speaker 00

  But yeah.

• 11:58Speaker 06

  Um, what I was gonna say about it, um, this, another thing, because people want to know what the secrets are like, but did you, they give you a list of things on the telly. Did you get that as well? So if you do get cornered, because you don't, sometimes you don't get until three o'clock or something like that, or three, oh no, of course you do. But they give you a list of things on the telly. So, um, you would cover yourself.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  No, because apparently, because apparently in one of the civilian series.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  One of the guys that was doing the show, because the traitors get back to the hotel later. What he would do is he'd go, uh, what were you watching? You know, did you watch, did you see?

• 12:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, we, we got a list of things to say that we were watching, just in case. Oh, Alan. Did you watch the game last night? And he'd be like, yeah. I mean, that would be.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Because ordinarily, ordinarily.

• 12:43Speaker 06

  Two, one.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  You'd know all about the game, wouldn't you?

• 12:45Speaker 06

  I know, I know. But sometimes I'd get, sometimes I'd go, oh, I loved that film last night. Oh, that was so obvious.

• 12:53Speaker 00

  Because, because what the thing is, like, when, when, for, for us as, as fans of you, I'm talking as, as us as a collective. There's so many people that have known that, and, and I know you don't like praise, but you are, I've said this before, I said this in an interview when we're doing Last One Laughing. You were designed in a lab to be funny. Like, you were just so funny and such a talent. And then when you, when you won Traitors, it felt like even above and beyond the number of people that knew. Suddenly it felt like a whole, a whole new load of people realised how funny you were. Did you notice, did you feel that in the, in the moment when it came out?

• 13:28Speaker 06

  Well, the thing that pissed me off was, oh, Alan, you're so funny. I mean, I've been on telly for 25 years.

• 13:36Speaker 06

  I must have been really shit.

• 13:39Speaker 06

  Alan, you were funny. You were making jokes. I'm like, yeah.

• 13:45Speaker 06

  But yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, children, children now.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  That's the one, that's the big difference.

• 13:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:52Speaker 06

  And then I went to a screening for the final and, um, I'd meet, I got a cloak, I was gonna surprise everyone. We're jumping out of the lift with a cloak and the lantern like this. And I was walking down, I went past this pub, but I mean, I've never had such an intense. Traitor, traitor, like that. And then I went, oh my God, wait there. So I got my bag, put my cloak on and my lantern.

• 14:12Speaker 00

  You had the lantern in your bag?

• 14:13Speaker 06

  Yeah. And it looked like I was deliberately walking around trying to get attention. So I could be like, woo.

• 14:23Speaker 06

  Have a day off, Alan.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  Is that, do you think Alan's enjoying the newfound fame? I don't know. Ask him.

• 14:32Speaker 06

  No, mad, mad. I, I had a, I had a lovely time doing it. It was great. But yeah, yeah.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 06

  It'd be interesting. I can't wait. It's the casting on the next one. What they're gonna do differently or whether they're gonna.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  I know, I know. Because I, I, I think that they, I think you've got, you've had two series that are completely different.

• 14:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Vibe wise, if you like.

• 14:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 00

  And also I think the other thing is, is, um, is the, is actually finding traitors early. Sorry, I was talking about gameplay, but finding traitors early doesn't actually benefit you massively.

• 15:06Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 15:07Speaker 00

  So, because they just recruit. So it'd be interesting to see what they do to the, you know, to keep that kind of, that ball in there.

• 15:13Speaker 06

  And I know everyone moans about the way they were sort of treated on it, but it is a bit like, it, the excitement of when you arrive at the airport and the man is there like that.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 06

  And you are frogmarched to your room. And then he puts the gloves on. And then he's like, can you open your case? So like that. And then do that. And it's like, is it border control? Like border control. You know, when they go like, and they're swiping it like that.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they don't.

• 15:38Speaker 06

  Why did they put gloves on?

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Pardon? Oh, because I, you, Alan and I both.

• 15:41Speaker 06

  I was carrying heroin.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  We requested extra searches.

• 15:45Speaker 06

  I was having a, an anal inspection.

• 15:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. I said, I said, there's a phone somewhere on me.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  Let's see how good you are.

• 15:57Speaker 06

  No, it's all like that. And then they take your laptop, don't they? And then they put it in the thing and then your phone and then it. But that, that is for me, part of the thriller. I was like, so excited. But I mean, obviously by the end I was just like, come on now. Enough now. I couldn't take it. And that's why I started crying.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 06

  When I saw Nick Mahoney's face, you know, and he went, he said, oh, we got this. I went, no, I've got this.

• 16:19Speaker 00

  Did it, I mean, it must, did it feel, it felt horrible, did it?

• 16:21Speaker 06

  It felt so horrible.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 06

  Because they were so nice. They were so lovely.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  But fuck them. Am I right?

• 16:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, fuck them. Ha. I live in a castle.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  Rom, how are you feeling having, because I haven't spoken to you since you won?

• 16:36Speaker 01

  You're saying that for this, aren't you? Because we've spoken about it loads.

• 16:39Speaker 06

  Do you want me to ask? How do you feel? How do you feel about it?

• 16:44Speaker 00

  I feel, um, great, baby. No, it's very, my win was very different to yours. Because obviously as a faithful, you've been a bit more passive, aren't you? And also I made it by the skin of my teeth. Whereas you played an insane game.

• 16:58Speaker 06

  Played a blinder really, you know, and.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:00Speaker 06

  Picking people off.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  It will, it will, it will go down.

• 17:02Speaker 06

  I can see now how serial killers get addicted to it.

• 17:05Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 17:06Speaker 06

  I couldn't, I was waking up, who can I kill today?

• 17:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:09Speaker 06

  And then I'd have a day off. I'm like, fuck.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  I can imagine like some sort of thing where I've been invited to Alan's castle for this, this game of traitors. But apparently, the rumour is, you actually get murdered.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  Um, but no, but I think the kid, the kids thing is what, because we, just as it was going out. I, I went to this, we did this like haunted railway thing with the kids. And then as I walked out onto the platform, more so than adults, children were just losing their mind. And I've just never had that before.

• 17:40Speaker 06

  No, no, no.

• 17:40Speaker 00

  And it, and it's like, I think Catherine, Catherine Ryan was saying to me, well, you've done loads of TV, so this can't feel any different, but it, it does.

• 17:47Speaker 06

  It's, it's a special show. Everyone watches it together. That's what I think. Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  And then you're sort of being judged by people that haven't ever watched you before.

• 17:55Speaker 06

  I know, I know, I know.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  And sometimes they don't know what you're, they don't, some, some people, they don't know what you're from. Somebody called me. So, so one of the producers said to me that his kid saw me arrive at the castle and said, oh, look, it's the BBC survey man.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  That's, that, oh, that's good that they've got him in. Is that because he's across all the stuff that the BBC do?

• 18:15Speaker 06

  Oh, God, don't.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  Fucking hell.

• 18:17Speaker 06

  It's like Leo, I do my, uh, Bottoms Up podcast. He got a bit of TV work from me. Turned up there, they went, oh, Deliveroo.

• 18:26Speaker 06

  He was so excited. Oh, son.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Alan, could you still enjoy the, watching this season of The Traitors without like knowing too much about the, any workings?

• 18:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, you can, because I just, I could, I could see, I could see how people were, were reacting and stuff. And I, I don't know what the edit like. But you know, I was quite mouthy round the, uh, round the castle. But I saw James Acaster was like a rabbit in headlights. But was he like that when, or did they edit it? Like, was he quiet?

• 18:55Speaker 00

  Because I think, no, that, I, I don't think he was quiet. I think he wasn't quiet. I think it's fair to say he was, he was wrestling with being a traitor.

• 19:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  But, but, but I, I, he wasn't quiet. I mean, you know, you know what it's like. The round table, they've gone for so long.

• 19:09Speaker 06

  Oh, my God.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  There are lots of times where like, a couple of round tables where I, I was saying stuff, I remember saying stuff quite a lot.

• 19:16Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  And then in the edit, you're just not in it at all.

• 19:18Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  And it's just how it works out, I guess.

• 19:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  But he wasn't quiet, I don't think.

• 19:22Speaker 06

  No.

• 19:23Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, it was, I'll tell you the, the embarrassing thing. Because did you have phone calls? Or did, is that, did we get those because of you?

• 19:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, but you know, you know, we have the same age and don't we?

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 19:34Speaker 06

  You know, you know, Danny had booked in work, um, in the first week. You know that.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  No, I did not know that.

• 19:42Speaker 06

  Got there on the Sunday. I said, oh, Danny, you, you booked me on Wednesday, Thursday. I've got a corporate. He said, well, you're gonna be out first, aren't you?

• 19:52Speaker 06

  He said, you're gonna be out, aren't you? But they, um, but you know what? You couldn't tell anyone how you were doing. I had to keep ringing up the dog walker. Can you look after the dogs for a couple more days, please? Because they're just going on and on and on.

• 20:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 06

  You know, I'd tell her I'll be out in a few days, but yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  Well, for, for us, we did, you have a 10 minute FaceTime a day.

• 20:11Speaker 06

  But they listen, they listen in, don't they? They stand over you.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. So they'd give me, they'd give me the thing and they'd go, you can call Lisa. And then they'd be sitting.

• 20:18Speaker 06

  Because I was still doing my OnlyFans at the time.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 06

  That was awful.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Just go, just put it on screen record and sit and down like this.

• 20:25Speaker 06

  Do you like my feet? What are you doing to my feet?

• 20:29Speaker 06

  Wrap it up, Alan. We've got a round table.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  But the first call I had, Lisa forgot.

• 20:42Speaker 06

  Oh, no.

• 20:42Speaker 00

  So she'd not, so I'm sat, the producer's there, and they're going to call, you'd be dying to speak to your wife. Then I call.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Okay, she must be, something must have happened, let me try again. And then I get to the cast and I'm like, how was your call? I go, well, she didn't turn up, did she?

• 21:02Speaker 06

  But it's mad, completely mad experience. I loved it, anyway.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Okay, that was cool, wasn't it?

• 21:11Speaker 00

  That was Alan Carr.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Wow, I like Alan Carr.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Great. He can be coming on the podcast in a few weeks.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Lovely.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  And?

• 21:21Speaker 02

  It is Elba?

• 21:22Speaker 00

  No.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Just checking.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, I will let.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  It's going to be Christmas.

• 21:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  I hope he agreed to come.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  Uh, well, I can, I think we could do this as an exclusive, can't we? Um, are you okay with me saying this? He's not coming on.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  We've got to stop that.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Well, he's not coming on before Christmas, is he?

• 21:42Speaker 03

  He hasn't, he hasn't been booked yet.

• 21:44Speaker 00

  Well, he's not gonna.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  In fairness, he did say in the new year, so it won't be before Christmas, but we're not ruling out.

• 21:51Speaker 00

  Did he say which year?

• 21:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, he said that, but in the new year.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  When have you spoken to Idris?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  A while back.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Ah, there you are. But he.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  It's important, it's been, it's been increasingly important to talk to Idris, the amount that we've talked about him.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  Oh, I see. So that was, you were, was this through a lawyer?

• 22:08Speaker 00

  I am, I, we had, I was at a Kendrick Lamar gig a long time ago, and Sadiq Khan was at the gig. And this is when I was doing the podcast, Hip Hop Saved My Life. And so we thought, well, why don't we get Sadiq Khan on to the podcast? So we emailed him and he said, his office said, we're really sorry, but he's too busy.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  But we haven't given him a date.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  That's a bit rude, Rame.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  So what he's saying is, I'm just, in perpetuity, too busy to do your fucking podcast. Okay, this next bit is an advertisement segment brought to you by Apple Watch Series 12 and its new readiness score feature. Now, all of us have probably got a few things we should be doing more of, and a few things we should be doing less of. But it's not always easy to know what they are. This is where your Apple Watch readiness score comes in. Looks at your sleep, your activity and your vitals, and it tells you whether it's a let's go or a do less kind of day.

• 23:16Speaker 00

  Now, my watch is handling my readiness, but I thought, who could help handle everyone else's? So Mum is going to give her verdict on a few everyday topics. It's called Do More or Do Less? So this is, um, you're going to give your verdict, Mum, on whether people should do more or less of these things that I'm going to give you.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  All right?

• 23:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Okay, you ready?

• 23:37Speaker 02

  I'm ready, I'm ready.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  All right, first one, school WhatsApp groups.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  I never had that.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  I can speak on your behalf, do less.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Do less.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  You sign up to the WhatsApp groups, it's constant, oh, has anybody seen blah, blah, blah's P shirt? We're thinking about having a get together at the, at this thing after the last day of term. Mine is archived and muted and fucking buried. Although what I would say, if we can provide a little bit of balance, sometimes it is quite handy to figure out what's going on when.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 24:12Speaker 00

  But that's, I would say the ratio is of, of useful to useless, one to about thirty. I would say in terms of the messages on those groups.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  That's my opinion. So do less.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Do less.

• 24:26Speaker 00

  Kids' party goodie bags.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Do less.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  Why?

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Because they, we don't, now, they are saying not to eat sweets. So what the goodie bag there?

• 24:37Speaker 00

  The way it's going now, though, it's starting to, it, it's starting to become a, an unexpected cost of throwing a kid's party.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  They come around now and that's become, it's become parentally competitive.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  The party bags.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  Doesn't it?

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it does.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  You go to one thing and they come back and they go, oh, they gave me an Xbox.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  You go, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

• 25:02Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 25:02Speaker 00

  You know, so, um, I think do less. I, can I tell you something? This is not a do more, this is kind of a do less. I think there should be a uniform standard for what is in a party goodie bag. When I was a kid, when our, our kids used to go to those younger, when they were younger, they'd love the little party bags, but keep the stuff cheap.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Minimised.

• 25:24Speaker 00

  A piece of cake, a, a balloon, that's all you need in a party bag and just standardize it. Okay, final one, Mum. I think carefully about this. Me, Romesh, should I be doing more or less?

• 25:40Speaker 02

  More.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  Okay. So I'm going to go to my readiness score now.

• 25:47Speaker 00

  And my readiness score for today is, bear with, do you want to do a drum roll, Mum?

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Six.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Hey. You're ready.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  Means I'm ready.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  You're ready.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  But does that mean I have to do more or do less?

• 26:04Speaker 01

  I think that means you've got capacity.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  To do more.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm ready for the challenges of the day.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Or I guess maybe you should do a bit less to get yourself back up to eight.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  I think I need to do less. I think, I think that's smart, John. Apple Watch Series 12's new readiness score tells you whether it's a let's go or do less day based on your activity, vitals and sleep. Backed by the most advanced heart rate sensing in an Apple Watch yet. Visit apple.com slash UK slash Apple Watch Series 12 to learn more. Requires iPhone 11 or later for general wellness purposes only, not intended for any clinical use or to detect, diagnose, monitor or treat medical conditions. Now, on Monday, Mum, we had the actor and rapper, Riz Ahmed on the show.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Riz Ahmed.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  Riz Ahmed.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Riz Ahmed, okay.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  Not Riz Ahmed.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 26:51Speaker 00

  Riz Ahmed.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Riz Ahmed?

• 26:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, separate, okay.

• 26:56Speaker 00

  Talked about his home life, home life in university. Uh, we've got a little clip for you.

• 27:01Speaker 07

  I think weird things start happening, because I went to Oxford and I like, I'd meet people who'd go, oh, hello, how you doing? And then I'd found myself just kind of going further, they're going like, wag one, cut.

• 27:16Speaker 07

  I'm like sat in a tutorial. It's like Oxford John is saying, have you written the essay? Bleh. Don't try and chat to man about no who is. It's like, uh, uh, he's like, are you okay? He's like, I don't know, fam. It's just happening right now. It feels like a safe space.

• 27:37Speaker 00

  Do you like that?

• 27:38Speaker 02

  I like that, yeah.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  Um, Mum, you were very disappointed that I didn't go to Oxford, weren't you?

• 27:43Speaker 02

  I wasn't disappointed. I wasn't disappointed, but.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Why, why, why did you ask me that?

• 27:50Speaker 00

  Because you were disappointed, that's, you kept saying I wanted to go to Oxford, you didn't go.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Because I, I could say I was disappointed because such a clever boy. Why didn't you do the exam properly? That would upset me. Not because, what am I going to gain by you going to Oxford?

• 28:05Speaker 00

  Some sort of social cachet.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Did you take the Oxford exam?

• 28:08Speaker 00

  No.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Uh, did you even go?

• 28:11Speaker 00

  I'll be honest with you.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  Hard to get in that way.

• 28:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you don't take the exam, they're really, they're, I, I, I just, I, you know what I did? I thought, let me just take a punt. I just wrote a really enthusiastic letter.

• 28:25Speaker 00

  I said, look, I don't have the grades nor am I predicted them.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  You could have sent them all your trophies from your reading.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  This reading thing, it's, it's really a problem for you.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  A lot of people have got, a lot of people got in touch with me and said, don't let Ben dull your shine.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Dull your shine.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  Lots of messages. There were loads of messages. Got through them quite quickly.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  You are lying, Rame. No.

• 28:54Speaker 05

  Hey, Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club Lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at aa.com. Host Thanksgiving with industry-leading quality standards from Whole Foods Market. There are no antibiotics in their meat department, ever, so carve up turkey and spiral cut ham with peace of mind. Shop organic sides like stuffing mix and cranberry sauce from 365 Brand.

• 29:36Speaker 05

  And guess what? All their delectable pies are made with no high-fructose corn syrup. Gourmet Thanksgiving flavors with the quality you want, only at Whole Foods Market.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  But did you think about applying?

• 29:52Speaker 00

  No, because in all seriousness, uh, I did not give a shit about school when I did my A-levels, at all.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  I can understand because what we had gone through.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:03Speaker 02

  At least we have done well in life.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  I would say that during A-levels was when I was at my most, I don't give a shit about life.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:11Speaker 00

  Phase.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  The people who read your books, they know what you had gone through.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, so thank you to both of you for being on the inside of that story.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  The Sunday Times bestseller, by the way, turns out you only need to sell about eight copies.

• 30:28Speaker 00

  When everybody says, I can't believe it, I'm a Sunday Times bestseller, I guarantee you, they got told how many books I had to sell to get there, and they went, oh, that's not as many as I thought you'd have to get. Okay, it is time for the listener question section. Come on, you're with you, come on, oh, fuck, I got so into the, that bit.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  That bit, yeah.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've got the yips, I have got the yips, man. How'd you get rid of the yips?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Even affects your reading.

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Pardon?

• 30:55Speaker 03

  Your best thing.

• 30:57Speaker 02

  Yes, reading.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  I hope you don't get the yips for your best thing, just have to figure out what that is.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  Come on, ask with your questions, problems and stories. Send your WhatsApp messages and voice notes to 07731623355, or email [email protected].

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:19Speaker 00

  We have got a voice note.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 00

  From Kim from Stoke. Shall we hear it, Ben?

• 31:24Speaker 05

  Hi, Rom. Hi, Shanthi. I'm Kim. I'm from Stoke. Unfortunate, I know. Technically Cheshire East, but Stoke. I'm turning 40 on Christmas Day and I'd love some birthday wisdom. First up, thanks for all the joy you guys bring. Hearing you both laugh and together and wind each other up makes me so happy every week. My son Joey is nine. We love music, wrestling, Marvel, and I really hope that when he reaches Rom's level in Tamagotchi human years, we're still laughing like you two. And sometimes I worry that he'll be a bit lonely because

• 32:05Speaker 05

  he is an only child and it is just the two of us. We do have like a nice support network around us, but predominantly it's just the two of us. But it's still a worry. I worry, you know, am I giving him enough? But I'm so grateful for the life we're building. And I hope he knows how much joy being his mum brings me. So, my question, Shanthi, how do I worry less? So how do I worry less and keep that closeness as he grows up? And Rom, what did your mum do that made you feel loved? Perhaps something you appreciate even more now you're a dad? I'd love to know what stayed with you. Obviously, anything you say can

• 32:48Speaker 05

  be used in future disagreements. I'd love to see you live when I consult childcare. But until then, thank you both for the laughs. Lots of love.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Love to you.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  Mum?

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  How do you maintain closeness with your children as we've grown up?

• 33:07Speaker 02

  To me, I didn't have siblings. When I had you both of you, as I really, really enjoyed, the first time I experienced the baby, holding a baby, I never had.

• 33:20Speaker 00

  You shouldn't hold them like that, should you?

• 33:23Speaker 00

  So he held us the whole time?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Holding a baby!

• 33:25Speaker 00

  If nobody laid a nipple, I can't.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Don't make it as, no, as a joke, okay?

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Okay, sorry.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  I meant it. I meant it, Darren.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  She meant it.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  So I loved you so much, both of you. The first thing I did, can I say that? I gave so much love to you both and made sure that you have a good foundation to stand on. But first thing, you should love the baby or the child or the son or the girl, a lot of love. What will you recommend?

• 33:57Speaker 00

  I, from personal experience, if you want to stay close with your son or your mother, I would highly recommend trauma bonding, where you go through a horrific thing together and that really links you eternally.

• 34:10Speaker 02

  That's a horrible advice you are giving, Rom, eh?

• 34:16Speaker 00

  Kim, I think that you're doing all the right things. You read, I mean, Mum has talked at length, that didn't mean, I didn't mean that wasn't shade. Mum has talked about at length about, and as have I, about, you know, the, what's happened when we were younger. But we never doubted, my brother and I never doubted that we were loved. So, and it sounds like that's what you're doing. So I don't think you need to worry about that. If I was to, bearing in mind, I'm extrapolating this from a very short voice note that you've sent, I, the thing that I think parents find tricky, and I think mothers can find tricky,

• 34:57Speaker 00

  is that when Joey's ready to like, kind of do his own thing, you're going to find that difficult as he becomes less and less dependent on you. That is the tricky part. We're going through that because obviously our eldest is, he's kind of looking at, you know, he's at college uni, he's talking, he's applying for uni next, this year, for next year. And so that's like, Lisa's kind of a bit like, getting a bit not sure, she, obviously she's, he's going to go, you know, to uni. So that is, we're all so close and then he's going to go, that's kind of nerve wracking. But I think, like Mum said, you give them a foundation

• 35:38Speaker 00

  and then you let them do what they have to do and be there for them if they need you, but not be too kind of suffocating. Don't you think, Mum?

• 35:50Speaker 02

  It's very true. You're superb advice.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I, for me, the love is the most important thing, Darren.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  What does that mean, though?

• 36:01Speaker 02

  What does it mean? You should let them know how much you are, you love them.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  And make.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  But just telling them you love them isn't love, is it?

• 36:09Speaker 02

  No, no, doing things.

• 36:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  When they ask you, give the attention.

• 36:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  When you're cooking, if he comes and asks, just make sure that you answer the child.

• 36:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  But most of us, even me, when I had the problem, I couldn't explain, because I was in a very bad situation. But.

• 36:28Speaker 00

  You would often ignore us for days, wouldn't you?

• 36:30Speaker 02

  No, I never do that. People said, I'm always with you, you both.

• 36:35Speaker 00

  What about that time when you went out for two weeks?

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Where did I go?

• 36:39Speaker 00

  I don't know. That was what we were asking.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  People are going to believe the way you say things like, Romi, you are a liar, fucking liar you are.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  Yeah. Show love. That's the most important thing.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  That's it, yeah. Okay. Thank you.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  No, Mum, you did make me feel very loved. Thank you so much, Kim, for your voice note. Is Stoke?

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Stoke and Trent, don't talk.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  No, it's nice, isn't it? It's pottery.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  What's Stoke like? Is Stoke that's what it's known for?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's known for pottery.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Pottery.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  Right, but that's not, is that?

• 37:11Speaker 03

  It's nice.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  What, how does that manifest itself? So you get, Stoke is, no, I know, but I'd love it if you didn't just keep saying pottery. So what happens?

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Ceramics.

• 37:22Speaker 00

  Ceramics. Okay, cool. Shall we go to our next question in the question section? We've got a voice note from Lucy.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  Hello. So I'm very new to your podcast. I started today.

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Today?

• 37:35Speaker 05

  I'm very closed off from the world. I don't really know what's going on, but I do watch Traitors, and you're one of my favourites on Traitors. And then once I found out you were vegan, I liked you even more. Anyway, I'm really liking these episodes with you and your mum. So I just had to, just wanted to find out your opinion on bonfire displays and like firework displays, because for me personally, I'm not, I'm a vegetarian, I'm not fully vegan, but vegan where I can. And I don't support bonfire displays because it upsets all the wildlife around it. And like, it scares cats and dogs at home, like

• 38:17Speaker 05

  hedgehogs can be in the bonfires. All the birds around it, you know, are affected. It can go to farmer's fields with the cows, the sheep, into horses' fields. So for me, I just, I don't support. But I'm just curious of what your views are on it and things. Because I don't hear, you don't really hear many people talking about it.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  It's okay. Can I do a little reminder of that? Yeah, please.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  Because I don't hear, you don't really hear many people.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  Body bag? Yeah, I think so. Lucy said, Lucy's had a hell, she's had a hell of a day. She's started this podcast, she's killed somebody.

• 38:57Speaker 05

  On it and things. Because I don't hear.

• 39:01Speaker 05

  You don't really hear many people talking about it. Like, people just seem to follow and they don't really. I don't think, consider the impact it has on things around it.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Oh, was that the end?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  I think she was quite, yeah, had to get off quite quickly.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  I think she must have seen some movement in the bag. She's like, fuck it, I've got to finish this guy off.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Feds are coming.

• 39:29Speaker 00

  I, I think it's remarkable to start listening to podcasts and then that day send in a thing, isn't it? That's quite unusual, isn't it? But nice to have a new listener and viewer. I haven't really thought about my views on, we've got two dogs.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  They don't like fireworks.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  No, they're completely, no, they're not, they don't like them, they're completely unbothered. Well, we, we read something about trying to get them, so when they were young, we would take them out to the front garden just to see, we wanted, basically supposed to try and get them as used, used to as possible, the sound of fireworks. And so we started doing that from a very, from when they're very young puppies. And now they're completely, I, I, I think we got lucky. I'm not saying that we did an amazing thing that other dog owners aren't doing. For us personally, we are, we are fortunate and the dogs are fortunate in that they don't find it particularly traumatic. But I think your point is that loads of wildlife gets, um.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  What do you think, Mum?

• 40:31Speaker 02

  I feel sad in a way, but the, you know, animals, in case they get burned or something, it makes me sad, but. I don't know, what, what's the solution for that? There's nothing.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  People are enjoying fireworks. There's a reason behind it, why they have the fireworks. So it's traditional, so all the children.

• 40:53Speaker 00

  Nobody really gives a shit about Guy, no, about Guy Fawkes, do they? I mean, who, nobody is going.

• 41:04Speaker 00

  We must celebrate the Guy Fawkes occasion, are they? Nobody thinks that, do they? Nobody gives a shit. I'm in my forties. It was taught quite a lot, but my kids, their awareness of, of what the Guy, I mean, they sort of know it, I guess, but.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Remember, remember, that's it, isn't it? That's how you know.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, that's how you remember the date, yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, that doesn't actually tell you much.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  It's my dad's birthday, that also helps me.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  That's really good for you, not good for us as much.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  No, it doesn't really help you guys.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  No, um.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  But it's the thing.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Fireworks day.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  But it's, it's the thing about, uh, he tried to blurt Parliament.

• 41:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, failed.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  Failed to blurt Parliament, and then you go.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  Every year, we set off fireworks for a terrorist.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  Shanthi, what, what, what do you normally do on bonfire day? Or bonfire night?

• 41:52Speaker 02

  I mean, I, I was working at Royal Mail for twenty eight years. I missed out all the fireworks when Romesh was little. I used to take them to school and they do a firework, massive. So I take them and I participate. Enjoy the firework, get come back. But I don't do, I haven't, and we had the pub, Prince of Wales, and.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  We used to do fireworks out in the back there, didn't we?

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Back, the back garden. So I supported my husband and we really enjoyed, yeah.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  I mean, it was shit.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  What do you mean shit?

• 42:24Speaker 00

  The ones in the back of the pub were shit. Every year was shit, wasn't it? I mean, first of all, let's get this out of the way. Nobody should be doing them back gardens anymore. That, that is wild. The idea of taking, buying five rockets and a Catherine wheel and just gathering the family round for a forty five second display that might kill you all is, is insane. So I think like you'd go to professional, the, the, the, I, I don't know whether it's the bonfire that's the issue, or the fireworks are scary, aren't they? But the bonfire is a big, because hedgehogs go and sleep under the, they go and, that's the, like, the thing you're supposed to check your bonfire for hedgehogs. But, um, I don't think anybody cares about the bonfire, do they?

• 43:08Speaker 03

  How many people are doing bonfires in their garden?

• 43:10Speaker 00

  Nobody's doing bonfires in their garden, but it's a big bonfire when you go to the thing, or it can be. Some, most of the time now it's just the fireworks.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  It is, yeah. I think they're great, though. Like, fire, I, does anyone, anyone else cry watching fireworks?

• 43:24Speaker 00

  Um, only if I can start to smell hedgehog.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  I think they're quite, with the music, especially with music and like, yeah, I think it's quite, I think they're lovely.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Do you cry every fire?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Not everyone, but I have been known to cry at quite a few.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  Right.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Not like bawling, I'm not.

• 43:42Speaker 00

  No, I'm not, no, but crying is crying.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  Like tears.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it's, there's something quite, yeah, I guess so, yeah.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  But like fireworks, I'm trying to, New Year's Eve fireworks, where it's like, they do a bit of like a thing about the year, or like, any fireworks?

• 43:56Speaker 03

  No, just Guy Fawkes ones, I really.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  So that, that story really connects with you.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  There's something about blowing up Parliament that like resonates.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  Is it possible because you're, you're taking the family and it's like a family occasion?

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think, I, and you sort of like, I was, had like Poppy on my shoulder at one point, she had these little ear defenders on and she's where, and they were playing wicked, the music, and like, it was just really lovely.

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's nice. I think that's less about the fireworks and more about you having a family moment.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  But I do like the, the gold ones.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  That's nice. But I do relate.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  The multicoloured actually don't like so much.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  No, okay.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  Um, listen, it's not just banter, sometimes you get a hot take or two.

• 44:41Speaker 00

  I don't know, Lucy, I, I don't know. I, I think bonfires are probably done, aren't they? I think people doing fireworks in their back garden, stop. Fireworks are, they're annoying and I think, I, I, I don't think they should be. I think it's difficult to say there should be no fireworks. What I do think there is an argument is that they are condensed to one or two nights at the maximum. I think the, the, the big issue is that, that you, you've basically got a week of that all happening. And then you've got the immigrants and their holidays, so then they're doing fireworks and then, before you know it, you're fucking hearing them half the year, am I right?

• 45:18Speaker 00

  But the point I'm trying to make is I think that

• 45:23Speaker 00

  I think that needs to be condensed. It's on this night or two nights at the most or whatever. I think it's not as easy as going, let's stop this. I know it feels frivolous, but people love fireworks, so. I get what you're saying and, but, you know, they bring Ben to tears every year. Animals don't do that. You hate animals, don't you?

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Um, I wouldn't hate feel strong, but I'm not, not, I wouldn't, I've never cried over an animal.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  When you came to my house, you said, keep those fucking dogs away from me.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Didn't swear?

• 45:49Speaker 00

  No, you didn't. You said, you said, keep those.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  I'm allergic to dogs, if that's what you mean.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  You weren't allergic to our dogs, though, were you?

• 45:55Speaker 03

  I wasn't actually, no.

• 45:56Speaker 00

  No. Well done, Reggie and Ivy. Uh, okay, we have got a WhatsApp message from Ellie. Hi, Romesh, Shanthi and team. I've been listening to your podcast since March in what's been a pretty stressful year for me. I just started a new job as a graduate. Was also going through the process of buying my first home with my boyfriend. So having the podcast to look forward to each week really helped me through some difficult times. I'm very happy to say that my boyfriend and I are now happily settled into our new home and I'm finding my feet in my new job.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Yay.

• 46:27Speaker 00

  I love catching up on the episodes every week, so thank you for keeping me company through such a big chapter of my life. Uh, I've also been watching The Traitors, absolutely loving seeing Romesh on it. We're obviously rooting for you. My question is, Shanthi, would you rather be a traitor or a faithful if you weren't on the show? And Romesh, do you reckon she'd be any good at it or would she immediately give herself away immediately? Thanks so much for all the laughs. Don't ever stop as the podcast really brightens my week. Ellie, Ellie, thank you so much for your WhatsApp message.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 46:53Speaker 00

  Uh, Mum, would you ever do The Traitors?

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Love to.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Love to do the.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  I'm not.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  But all the challenges I watch.

• 47:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  It's a bit hard though for me.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  Oh, the missions?

• 47:04Speaker 02

  Missions, missions, yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 00

  But they'd sort of look after you, I imagine.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  Uh, you have to be in a hotel and you can't leave your room without permission.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  I don't mind. I, I'm like that at the moment, so.

• 47:16Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 47:17Speaker 02

  All on my own. Stay in the house. Go for coffee.

• 47:21Speaker 00

  I don't think.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Come back.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  I think being in a four bedroom house.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  It's not four, three.

• 47:28Speaker 00

  Okay, three bedroom house with a brand new kitchen.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  Right, going off and doing coffee mornings and lunches with all your friends is not the same as being on Traitors. You in, you, you can't leave the room without permission. Do you understand what I'm saying? That's not like your life now.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  I don't think I'll find it difficult. I'd love to.

• 47:50Speaker 00

  I'd love it.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  I love it, yeah.

• 47:52Speaker 00

  Okay, here's a question, here's a question for you.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:56Speaker 00

  You are allowed one person to make a call to every day.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Who would your person be?

• 48:01Speaker 02

  You.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  What about Dinesh?

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Dinesh will advise me so much, but you don't advise me.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  You'll be listening to me. So I want somebody to listen.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Right.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  I don't want any advice.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  Okay, but you wouldn't, you wouldn't be allowed to talk to me about the game?

• 48:21Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, so how it worked for me was.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yesterday we had a proper conversation.

• 48:25Speaker 00

  Who did?

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Both of us.

• 48:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  It was a lovely talk.

• 48:29Speaker 00

  With each other, yeah.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Each other.

• 48:30Speaker 00

  It was a lovely talk, yeah.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  It was. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There you are.

• 48:35Speaker 00

  Great. Uh, would you rather be a traitor or a faithful?

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Faithful.

• 48:40Speaker 00

  How come?

• 48:42Speaker 02

  I, I don't want to stitch people up.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Oh, right, okay, but it's only a game.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  It's a game, but you have to make it real.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  So criticizing people or stitch them up, I don't like to do that.

• 48:55Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  I want, when I die, I should be happy.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  Right.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  I know it's a game.

• 49:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  But in the real life, so many things happen.

• 49:03Speaker 00

  But I'd love to see you with the cloak on.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Like that?

• 49:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Let me do that then.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Are there any of the challenges that you've seen that you think you'd really hate to do?

• 49:20Speaker 02

  The challenges, I, I, I was looking, it's a Scotland, it's very, very cold.

• 49:25Speaker 00

  Scotland is a challenge.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  It's, that's a challenge, yeah. But the, the loving bit, being an Asian, I love the peacock. Making the noise.

• 49:37Speaker 00

  It's so random, the stuff you, I, I, I, I have known you my whole life and still you say stuff, there's never no, never in a million years would I have guessed that's what you're gonna say. All right, Mum, imagine that you're a traitor.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  So, do Asians love peacocks? Is that a?

• 49:52Speaker 00

  Ben, Ben, don't show your ignorance.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Oh, shut up, Romesh.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  Peacocks. Of course we fucking do.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 50:00Speaker 00

  Ben, Ben, do you want to get cancelled, bro? Fuck me. Ben, do you seriously not know that Asians love peacock? Just, stop, stop, stop, just, uh, nobody else talk. Nobody else talk, don't give me, did you or did you not know that Asians love peacocks?

• 50:15Speaker 03

  I know.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  Fucking wow. Well, you've known each other, yeah, obviously.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  What is the sound of a peacock?

• 50:28Speaker 02

  And can they all make the sound as well?

• 50:31Speaker 03

  All Asians.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Uh, no, I don't know why mum said that.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  But you know the peacock, the lady, lady peacock, it's not beautiful.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  That's a peahen.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Peahen, peahen.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, grey, alright.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  They're not grey, no hair. They're bald.

• 50:55Speaker 00

  That's such bullshit. I don't, I don't know what's going on.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Also don't, peacocks have feathers, right?

• 50:59Speaker 02

  They have feathers, but not a pretty feather.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  No, but they're not bald.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Uh, no, I, I used that word accidentally.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Right.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  But the peacock, you know why they open their feathers? To attract the female.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's not the inside information that you source it was.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  They call it peacocking, don't they?

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I don't think, I don't think. Timur's gonna be getting nervous.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  She seems to know all the secrets.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  I can't believe, man, he didn't know.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  That Asians are peacocks.

• 51:30Speaker 00

  You fucking idiot.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  We had no idea that we love peacocks. Dickhead.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Do you like peacocks?

• 51:43Speaker 00

  Just very quick, of course I'm brown. So, quick thing, just really quickly.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:49Speaker 00

  Really quickly, imagine we're at the round table.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  You're a traitor. I'm a faithful, I don't know you're a traitor, but I think you are, okay? Ready? Just get ready to defend yourself.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, sure.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  So we're at the round table.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:00Speaker 00

  Dun, duh duh duh dun, duh duh duh dun. Um, so obviously we're working on whatever information we've got, but there was a murder in plain sight and you, you've got to think to yourself,

• 52:12Speaker 00

  who was in and around where that happened? And, um, I noticed you were hanging around there. I put it to you, I think you might be a traitor.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  I'm not a traitor. I'm not. What made you think that I'm a traitor?

• 52:29Speaker 00

  I've just said it.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Some, some, some of the valuable things if you say, I will, I might tell you the truth whether I'm a traitor or not.

• 52:36Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, what made you think that I'm a traitor?

• 52:40Speaker 00

  Where the murder happened, I think you're a traitor. You're definitely a traitor.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  I'm not. I'm not a traitor.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Well, tell me how, why you're not a traitor.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  That's a difficult thing to answer.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is, but that's the game.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  What made you think, if you give me the right answer?

• 53:00Speaker 00

  For the third time?

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 00

  You were around where the murder happened?

• 53:03Speaker 02

  Murder happened?

• 53:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  How do you know I was around there?

• 53:06Speaker 00

  Cause I saw you.

• 53:07Speaker 02

  You saw me?

• 53:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Maybe I went to see the fun there.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  The fun, yeah, but regardless of whether you went to see the fun, so you're saying you went there to see the fun?

• 53:16Speaker 02

  It's a game.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  They're not murdering people.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  No, I know that.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  There you are.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  So I just went to have a look at it.

• 53:22Speaker 00

  Right.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Doesn't mean that makes me a traitor.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  I think you are a traitor.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  I'm not a traitor.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  I think you are.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  I think your fucking head is gold, man.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  See, I don't think, I don't know if she can be on the show. At that point, Claudia would step in and go, Shadi, can you stop calling people gans and saying fuck you, motherfucker? We can't use any of this.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Um, can I ask, I, I, not anything, but do people in the game take it really seriously? Are they? Like, is it fun?

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were crying.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  The whole time?

• 53:56Speaker 00

  I think different people take it more seriously than others. I, I, I think some people really, you can't help getting a bit immersed in it. But I think some people, there are people that are bigger fans. I wouldn't say I was the biggest, I think The Traitor is a great show, but I wasn't a super fan like some of the other people that I was in with. Um, and they take it.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Why were they crying? Some of them crying?

• 54:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, cause it's quite intense.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  We made somebody faithful a traitor.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  And then they sit there and wait, what is he going to say? Oh, ah, then, then when he said it's, it's, I'm faithful.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  They started crying.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Unnecessarily we made somebody a traitor.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  Well, banish them.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, banish them, anyway.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, some people are really into it, yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  But whether it's a game or not.

• 54:45Speaker 00

  I'll tell you afters.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't want you to open your mouth and say something.

• 54:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  We want to watch it and enjoy it.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  Okay, well, it's finished now.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Good experience overall?

• 54:58Speaker 00

  It was fun, loved getting to know all the people, um.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Who, who's your bestie from it now? Who do you reckon you'll stay? Is there someone you met?

• 55:07Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna give it to you then.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  Okay, got it.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  All that, no, uh, well, Jerry Hall's a friend now.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Oh, she's a lovely lady.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Not a friend anymore.

• 55:18Speaker 00

  You know, there's.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  You and Jerry are genuinely speaking?

• 55:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  It's quite an unlikely friendship, isn't it?

• 55:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, uh, I, I recently did a cameo in King Kenny's music video.

• 55:30Speaker 00

  We're still in touch, which is very, much excited my children. So, yeah. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope our advice has helped. Mum, have you got any last words for today?

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, please, watch Romesh Ranganathan show. We are waiting for your question and love to answer.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, we will see you on Monday. Tongue a gooch, you little bitches. See you later. Fuck you.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  All right, we had, we had the gooch one, we didn't need it.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Before you go, if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed, that's a bold decision, crazy behaviour. Follow and subscribe to the Romesh Ranganathan Show wherever you listen. It helps me, really, like, really helps me. It helps the team. And it costs you absolutely nothing. We drop episodes every Monday and Thursday. Mondays, I'm joined by great guests. Thursdays, my mum, Shadi, joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas. We'll see you Monday with another great guest and back here with mum on Thursday. If you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share, send it to [email protected].

• 56:34Speaker 00

  Voice note or text us on 07731 623355. We can't promise good advice, but you might end up on the show. See you soon.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Oh, shut up, Romesh.

• 56:49Speaker 05

  My life is booked and busy. I don't have time to try on a million outfits that still don't feel right. That's why I get styled with Stitch Fix. My personal stylist sends outfits picked for my size, style and budget, so I can get dressed and get on with my day feeling confident. It's no risk, all style. Free shipping, free returns, no subscription required. Get started today at stitchfix.com. That's stitchfix.com.

• 57:17Speaker 05

  When an intruder approaches a home, they expect a camera. What they don't expect. Stop, this is simply safe. Police are on the way. Using smart AI cameras, live US-based agents help deter intruders in under 30 seconds. Don't just record a break-in, stop it from ever happening. Plans starting around a dollar a day. Right now, get 70% off your new system with professional monitoring at simplysafe.com/spotify. 30 seconds response time requires monitoring plan with outdoor protection starting at $49.99 a month. Visit simplysafe.com/licenses for alarm license information.