Shanthi’s Seating Area, Romesh’s Plastic Plant & Hypnotherapist Dating

Why does Shanthi need a £16,000 seating area? This week, Romesh breaks the news that the podcast is moving to a new studio, which raises some important questions about the future of the controversial plastic plant, and the pair re-watch a Bob Mortimer clip to discover they’ve been misunderstanding it all along. They also play two truths and a lie and reminisce a family argument which Romesh and Shanthi remember very differently... A Ranga Bee Production. Chapters: 00:00 Intro01:19 Why do sitcoms have laughter tracks?05:41 Autumn vs summer debate07:49 The plastic plant complaints08:28 The new studio12:30 Shanthi's £16,000 seating area17:37 Bob Mortimer's cat clip20:38 Two truths and a lie25:58 Listener questions35:32 Romesh and the miracle berry38:46 Advice for Drew41:52 Revealing the crew's faces47:33 The Nottingham tickets row52:51 Does Romesh lose his temper?55:30 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hello, you awful pricks. It's time for the Thursday edition of the Romesh Ranganathan Show. I'm here with my mother, Shanti Ranganathan, and all the grim little creatures.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  We're here every week.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  I'm a creature.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  You're not a creature. Do a good, but do, what would you, if you're a creature, what would you sound like? Meow. Okay. I thought you were gonna do something a bit more gremlin-y, like, I'm Shanti. Meow. Um, we're here every week catching up, shooting the shit, answering your questions and dilemmas. Mum, how are you?

• 0:38Speaker 02

  I'm fine, thank you, son.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  What's your favourite season, mum?

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Favourite season? Summer.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Really? Interesting. Uh, should we do a little survey? Um, Alfie?

• 0:48Speaker 03

  Um, probably summer, bro.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:50Speaker 00

  Ben?

• 0:51Speaker 04

  I always tend to do like a joke about season two of Stranger Things or something like that.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:55Speaker 04

  I'll just go spring.

• 0:57Speaker 00

  Okay. It's funnier when you sort of talk about a joke that you were thinking about doing.

• 1:00Speaker 04

  I just didn't think it would probably land.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  It's really good, yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 04

  Would it have landed if I'd committed to it?

• 1:03Speaker 00

  Can we just add a laugh into that?

• 1:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, that would, can you do a fake? No, not you personally, I'm in the edit, Alfie.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  You know, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been rewa-

• 1:15Speaker 04

  I really appreciate it, and I, thanks Alfie. It's good to know you've got my back.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  I've been rewatching, I've been rewatching King of Queens recently.

• 1:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  And, um, that's, that's, is that, that must be studio audience, right?

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  It's weird, that, isn't it? When you sort of think about the whole thing of you have the laughter in the show, it's like, I'm try, I'd love to know what the psychology of that is. It's, it's to feel like you're in a group, or it's a signal to you that that was a funny line, right?

• 1:44Speaker 01

  I think it's actually, isn't it more for the performer's benefit? Isn't the idea that-

• 1:49Speaker 00

  But then why leave it in, I guess I might?

• 1:52Speaker 04

  Why put it in?

• 1:54Speaker 00

  The laughter.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Because it's the whole live experience, isn't it?

• 2:00Speaker 00

  I know, but they're not doing, I don't, maybe it is, maybe it is.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Because I was thinking more like, it's about the timing and it's record, it's getting it right because you're recording it in front of that audience so that you're, you are playing to a live audience so that you're, you're getting the most out of the comedy because your timing is bang on.

• 2:15Speaker 00

  Well, it's, it's a different type of comedy, isn't it, if you're doing it in front of a studio audience?

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  I guess.

• 2:21Speaker 01

  I guess the idea is that the laughs, the laughs then fade and then you get the next line.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Whereas if you didn't do that, you might still be laughing when-

• 2:27Speaker 00

  But you're not, but when you sit and watch a sitcom on your own, do you, I mean, even my favourite sitcoms, the ones that I think are the funniest, I watch like this.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Right?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Occasionally one will-

• 2:43Speaker 00

  You might, like, sometimes something catches you by surprise and you start laughing.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Hacks was like that.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  But this is, this is the very most, you sort of go.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  And that is like fucking absolute blows the roof off.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:57Speaker 00

  Right?

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Are you the same as that, Shanti? Do you laugh out loud when you watch that?

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Have you got something on your finger?

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  What's the problem?

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Nothing, nothing.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  What's the problem?

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Nothing, nothing, nothing.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  Have you got a bit of dry skin or something?

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Have you? Is that what it is? I got told off when I got my nails done for not oiling my cuticles. And I thought, I don't need another thing to fucking do.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Who is your artist?

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Yes, from, who's your nail artist?

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Artist, yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  It's a different person every time.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  So in touch.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Every time. Were they excited to have you there?

• 3:27Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  They're not?

• 3:28Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  So why are you going there then?

• 3:30Speaker 00

  Because I, I just wanted to get my, you don't have, they don't have to be excited to have me there for me to do it.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Did your nail artist recommend a cuticle oil for you?

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  I already had a cuticle oil, actually. Have I, have I changed?

• 3:47Speaker 00

  No, listen, I'd, I would be, I'd be doing all of this if I was a teacher.

• 3:55Speaker 05

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• 4:23Speaker 06

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change, your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing.

• 4:40Speaker 00

  What were we talking about? Oh, anyway.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Ah, right.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah, yeah. I, I think you've hit the nail on the head.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, sometimes it takes time for me to understand what they are saying.

• 4:48Speaker 00

  Right.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, but once I got it, yes, I do laugh.

• 4:51Speaker 00

  All you need is two other people, one or two other people, and then suddenly you laugh.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, laugh, yeah, yeah. But I'm most of the time alone. So whether I laugh or not, but more-

• 5:02Speaker 00

  No, can laughter can make you forget you're alone.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 00

  And that's the sad thing, isn't it?

• 5:07Speaker 02

  I love that, I love that anyway.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  Also, when you did, when you send a load of laughing face emojis.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  You're, you're never laughing in real life.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Are you asking me if I'm doing this?

• 5:20Speaker 04

  You say, I think I'm better on WhatsApp than I am in person.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  No, I'm agreeing with you.

• 5:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I know, but it sounds-

• 5:28Speaker 00

  So why are you getting so upset? I'm agreeing with you.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's very quick off the back of that.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  No, but I'm saying, but that's how, that's how much I agree with you.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:35Speaker 00

  You're much better on WhatsApp.

• 5:37Speaker 04

  But good in both.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  I think, you know what I think you'd be best at? Um, written correspondence. I think that's where you'd be, and I don't mean email, post. I think that's when you'd really excel. I'd be like, oh my god, getting a letter from Ben today.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  It is tough when you're in an office and you've sent someone something funny and they reply with lots of laughing faces and you can clearly see they're not laughing.

• 6:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  That's a tough one. That's tough to tend to.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  I mean, it's tough when somebody sends you something and you think, I can't enjoy this because they're just watching me for my reaction.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  That's tough.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  You just look across and there's John.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  Um, John, what's your favourite season?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Um, autumn for me.

• 6:32Speaker 00

  And Georgie?

• 6:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's spring.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Oh, both of them.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  Only John gave the correct answer. Autumn shits on all the other seasons. It's much better. It's loads better. You, you've got the, Christmas is peeking its head around the corner. You've got that to build up to. You get to put on your scarf and your little coat and the colours are all beautiful, you know?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  So you enjoy the leaves are falling down.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  Love it.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Getting bold. You like that?

• 7:00Speaker 00

  I'm not getting, I don't tend to lose, I'm not shedding my hair like the trees. I'm not getting bold, but I'm saying when the leaves are coming down, the streets look beautiful, it's nice. It's lovely.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Because I had to clean the garden, take the dead leaves off.

• 7:14Speaker 00

  All right, well, you're not, not both of your gardeners doing that between them.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  You're team spring, Shanti, are you? You like spring?

• 7:23Speaker 02

  No, summer.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  Summer, hot?

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  That's what I like.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Why do you like summer so much?

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Because of the weather. It's hot and I can spend so much time in the garden.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Well, then surely you'd like autumn then? You said you have to clean, so, what I don't understand is, you don't like autumn because you have to go into the garden to clear the leaves, but you like summer because you get to go in the garden.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Have you seen the garden?

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Fucking make up your mind, woman.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  I'll make up my mind.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, do make it up.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 7:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Summertime, there are so many flowers.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Right.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  All around, they are smiling at us. Autumn leaves, nothing there, all dead, like this. Which one?

• 8:00Speaker 00

  Good impression.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Which one do we like to see? Flowers?

• 8:05Speaker 00

  The beautiful, different, orangey brown leaves and all that is cute, right?

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Because you don't have to do anything, Sarah, cleaning or anything.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  But mum, I'm saying when you're walking around, it looks nice.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  You like it?

• 8:16Speaker 00

  When we walk the dogs.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  You sleep and fall though.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  You can do, yeah. And there goes a bit of comedy. When it's somebody else, particularly if they're older, then.

• 8:28Speaker 00

  Um, mum, uh, speaking of leaves.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  And gardening.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  Uh, we've had a lot of comments slash complaints about, um, our plants.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  What plant?

• 8:38Speaker 00

  Well, in particular, no, no, in particular the one behind you, actually.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  Uh, there's a lot of people saying that we need to trim it.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  It's growing out of control. Something needs to be done about it.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  And I'll say again, it's plastic.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  But then people also get angry about it being plastic.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, they do. What's, what is there to be angry about it being plastic?

• 9:02Speaker 04

  I guess that it's.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  It's not as good as having a real plant.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I think that it's quite hard with the lights, isn't it? For it to survive.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  But I've got some, I've got a little bit of sad news. Despite the plant arguably being the most controversial element of the podcast. We are shortly moving to a new studio.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Bigger one.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Excited.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  It's actually incredibly exciting. It's gonna be, it's bigger. It's gonna have a separate makeup and viewing room. Is that right?

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  It's pretty sick.

• 9:42Speaker 04

  We can have the Wayans Brothers back on because it will have air conditioning.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, and listen, we, this is, if the Wayans Brothers watch this, as I know they definitely did before they came on. We'd love to have you back. That episode, people keep talking to me about it. Oh my God, those guys loved you too much.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Idris, we have got a bigger studio.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Please come.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  To our podcast.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  What happens if we, if Idris agrees to come on?

• 10:12Speaker 02

  He will come.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Okay, if Idris agrees to come on, you're not gonna be there, are you? So we'd have to do.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  We'd make a exception.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, we'd have to.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  We'd have to.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  We'd have to. Did you need me for that one? I don't think you would. I think we just have.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  I think we might.

• 10:23Speaker 00

  We do a special where it's just mum interviewing Idris.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  No, I think we'd really need some.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  You come, please, you also come and you can ask the question. What did, what's that gentleman's name?

• 10:37Speaker 02

  The dancer, good dancer.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Tom Hiddleston.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Tom Hiddleston. What did he say to you? I'd love to find out.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think, I, I just don't, again, he might come on the podcast. If he does, I don't think he's gonna remember what Tom Hiddleston whispered to him in 2015.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  As a mother, I will ask him.

• 10:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, but as a, as an Idris, I don't think he's gonna be able to answer.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Okay, that's fine.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  But all the guests will love our new studio.

• 11:05Speaker 00

  Now, here's a question. This, this plant is not coming with us, is it? No.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  Hold on, I've not been involved in that.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  But is that, do you want this, well, Ben, you've been across the studio move, haven't you?

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  I mean, you FaceTimed yesterday, fucking moaning about it.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  Oh my God, people don't realise how difficult it is. So, in your.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  I think that actually, can I just clarify? I actually FaceTimed you in a very excited way.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  No, you did, you did, sorry.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Go look how cool this is.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, you did, you did, yeah. Yeah, you did. It's so, so stressful. I wanted to get out to watch the Arsenal game.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  It was getting, I had been there since quite early.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was like, I was surprised, when you called me, I was surprised that you were still there.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was like, but it's looking great.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  So, with that in mind.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  I mean, look, John, what do you think about that plant coming to the studio?

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Maybe it's a lucky plant.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  That's a good point.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Yes, it is, because it's listening to everything, everything.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  Okay, so now go on, Ben, you're on board. So the plant's, the plastic plant's listening, Ben, so we should take it.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  It is.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  It's absorbed, I mean, if you think about it as energy and matter.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  It absorbs, all things are transient, aren't they? So the plastic has absorbed the sound waves that we have been emitting.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Don't go on too long because people will think they're listening to Dario the CEO.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  Because that's the kind of shite they spout on there.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  And then Stevie goes, mm.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  But I love the plant, I love it.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  But maybe, I feel like we don't, we wanna keep some of this stuff, don't we?

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  We want elements of the old set.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  We might get a new sign, which I'm sad about, but also.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Bigger.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Bigger? But I already get the piss taken out of me for this sign.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  It won't be right behind you though, it's gonna be in the middle.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  All right, great, great, great. So, what we thought, mum, is because this plant is not coming with us to the new studio.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  It could go in your seating area.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  My seating area? Love to have it.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, great, there you go. So you can, you can take it back with you.

• 13:14Speaker 04

  What's the update on the seating area? Are you, you doing it?

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Uh, okay, that's a great question, Ben. Mum, can you update the viewers and listeners?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  The gentleman came.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Well, do you wanna get, we need, it needs a bit more context. Which gentleman?

• 13:27Speaker 02

  His name is Oliver.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Oh, I don't, well, I didn't get, I didn't want to get that specific. Which?

• 13:31Speaker 02

  I forgot. They are not a garden centre people.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  Somebody got in touch with mum on Facebook.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  Facebook, okay.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  I think we've talked about this.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, but not Haskins.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Not Haskins, somebody else. They heard mum talking about this and they said.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  Contact.

• 13:45Speaker 00

  Yeah. So then the guy came around.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Came around and he looked around and measured everything. And my seating area will have all the lights and everything, but I wanted shutters. And then he sent me the quote, sixteen thousand pounds. But no, he is, mine is just a small place. Is it too much money? So I'm going to get a quote. No, I don't expect him to pay. He gave me the answer for that.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  So you were, so that, that, you were expecting him to pay.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  What you, what you mean is that you're no longer expecting him to pay.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Because I, I got the answer from Romesh. I said, you know, son, during the discussion, I said, you know, I bought the expensive table, garden table. It's getting wet outside.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  Get a plastic cover and cover.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  That's what we, sorry, I don't know why that's so ridiculous. That, that is what, I mean, I, we've got garden furniture and when you're like not using it for a while. You have these plastic covers to cover it and then you just like you rest it.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  But you already got.

• 15:00Speaker 00

  And apparently that makes me a fucking lunatic for suggesting that. Right, so sorry.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  She can't be every time, like every day.

• 15:07Speaker 00

  No, every, yeah, you're right. Every day, she's, what the fuck is he talking about? She's bougie, she's bougie. I don't wanna use a plastic cover, sixteen grand. What, how are those the two, how are the two options?

• 15:20Speaker 04

  So what, so it's gonna be a.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  He got, yeah, what is your thing called?

• 15:25Speaker 00

  What, what, do you want to do with it?

• 15:26Speaker 02

  Gazebou? Two you have.

• 15:29Speaker 00

  I don't know what you're talking about, two we have.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  You don't even know what you have in your garden, Romesh.

• 15:33Speaker 00

  We don't have, we don't have a single gazebo.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  What is the thing standing there, two of them?

• 15:39Speaker 00

  We've got an outdoor kitchen area.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:41Speaker 00

  Right.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  And you got, you something.

• 15:43Speaker 00

  That's like, that's in the back garden, it's for the kids to like go and change and it's like a changing area.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 15:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  That's the one I'm after.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  A changing room?

• 15:52Speaker 02

  No, the one I wanted, yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Right.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  See, I found it personally, sixteen thousand is too much.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't think personally, I think nationally.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Nationally, internationally, nationally, okay.

• 16:04Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't think you need a seating area.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  In case I find a boyfriend, I can sit and have a chat.

• 16:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you can sit in the living room.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  No, that's naughty.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  No, better for the neighbours to see.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  I don't, I'm gonna say, I do not think you need a seating area.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  I do love one.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  I'm sure you'd love one, but love one and need one are two different things.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  And I can put this plant as well. I don't want it to die, get it off.

• 16:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  But anyway, I'm going to look around for.

• 16:33Speaker 00

  We have a difference of opinion. I think you've got more than enough room in the house for you to then decide that you need to have a.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Romesh, I paid thousand pounds for the garden table.

• 16:41Speaker 00

  Right.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  And it's getting wet and getting ruined. I tried to put it on the other seating area.

• 16:48Speaker 00

  Your, your suggestion is to pay sixteen thousand pounds to protect a one thousand pound garden table? Do you understand how that's a bit?

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Maybe that's an excuse, but I'd love to have one seating area.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Right, so, okay, you'd love to have one. But what I'm saying to you is, it's insane.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  We, can you send, have they give you any pictures of what it would look like?

• 17:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, they did, they did. It's on my, I don't know where I left it, but.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Can we have a look at them?

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Later, yeah, yeah, I'll bring it.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  Mum, could you intro the show as a cat, please? Because you know you did the meow thing. So imagine you're like a cat woman.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Do you want me to introduce what?

• 17:26Speaker 00

  So you know how when I said to you what creature you'd be, you went meow?

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  So, so if you could just introduce the show in the style of somebody that you, is a cat kind of in the, in, half in between cat and human?

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Introduce what, Romesh?

• 17:39Speaker 00

  The podcast, the show. That was so needlessly angry.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Meow.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Romesh Ranganathan Podcast. We are available in all the.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Spotify? Meow.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  We are available on all the Spotify, meow, yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  With me, Shanti.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Now, on Monday's show, we had legendary British comedian and writer Bob Mortimer on the show, comedy legend. We talked about Last One Laughing, his new novel, and cats.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Cats?

• 18:34Speaker 00

  He loves cats. Here's a clip.

• 18:37Speaker 07

  I've got a cat. He was highly trained and what I trained him to do was to mash potato with his paws. And what a great contribution to the household. What was that? No. Percy will mash the potato.

• 18:57Speaker 07

  Superb.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  How did you train him to do that?

• 19:00Speaker 07

  Well, let's put it this way, it was more stick than carrot.

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Sure. What do you think?

• 19:05Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  Uh, Mum?

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Yes, son.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  You should get a cat, by the way.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  No, I know, thank you.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Why?

• 19:12Speaker 02

  No, they scratch you all the time.

• 19:13Speaker 00

  Uh, not all cats do.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  No. I'd love to have a cat. I used to have-

• 19:16Speaker 00

  I think cats are easier to look after than dogs.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Five cats, five cats.

• 19:20Speaker 00

  Is that a fair comment?

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  Um, if Bob Mortimer's cat mashed potatoes,

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  would you eat it?

• 19:30Speaker 02

  No. No, thank you.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Based on this question, I've got to be honest with you, I think I misunderstood what he said.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  What did you think he said?

• 19:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  I thought his cat was doing the mashed potato, the dance.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  Oh, no. That was the joke, because he was-

• 19:48Speaker 00

  Is that what he said?

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, mashing potatoes.

• 19:51Speaker 00

  That's probably why I didn't laugh as much, though, should it? Because you guys are fucking guffawing like a bunch of ringlicking apes.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  He's a funny guy.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, one of them's funny. Oh my god, it's real like-

• 19:59Speaker 04

  I love that surreal sense of humour more than anything, really.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  More than anything?

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  I guess we just got him.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, you just got him, clean, around the anal area.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  I thought, that is what I thought. So what was he doing? Mashing potato?

• 20:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's-

• 20:17Speaker 00

  I completely misunderstood it.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  Why would he have?

• 20:19Speaker 00

  I thought he was doing the dance, the mashed potato. I can mash potato, you know that one? Because he was sort of doing that, wasn't he? What's the mashed potato? Yeah, so I think that's what he taught the cat to do. I'll be honest with you, I don't know why that makes me the cock here. That, that, like-

• 20:36Speaker 04

  That wasn't what he meant, was it?

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Shall we watch the clip one more time and see if we can-

• 20:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's see if we can deduce it from the clip.

• 20:41Speaker 07

  I've got a cat. He was highly trained and what I trained him to do was to mash potato with his paws.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  No, you take do the mashed potato, you wouldn't say-

• 20:54Speaker 00

  Mashed potato. Can we just see the actual, actual?

• 20:57Speaker 07

  With his paws. And what a great-

• 21:00Speaker 00

  He's doing that, it's quite gentle.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  It's how, it looks like massaging the boobs, isn't it?

• 21:05Speaker 00

  Oh no, he's doing that, he's doing that. He doesn't mean it. Okay, okay.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Fine.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  It looks like he's massaging the boobs for a lady.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, he does, yeah. Actually, I think that's what Bob meant. I, I think he meant that the cat was massaging somebody's boobs.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Somebody's boobs.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  Sorry, we forgot about the third option.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  It's now time for a special part of today's show, More Than I Needed to Know, brought to you by American Express, who give their card members more access to rewards and experiences across the things they love. But what we're going to do today is find out some stuff about each other that we didn't know before. We're going to do that by playing a game. We're going to take turns saying two truths and a lie about ourselves, and the other has to guess which one is the lie.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Uh huh. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  Mum, you're up first.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  I love going to the cinema.

• 21:50Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  One time, I even auditioned for a Hollywood producer.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Another one, I even, second one.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  I like nice wine. One of the best glasses I have had was with Jimmy Fallon.

• 22:12Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  Third one, one of my favourite places to travel in Las Vegas. One time, I was invited on, uh, stage by famous piano player.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  Um, okay, so two of those are a lie and one is true.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  So let's recap what we've got.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  So we've got, first thing is you auditioned for a Hollywood producer.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Second one is you had a glass of wine with Jimmy Fallon.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Fallon.

• 22:39Speaker 00

  And the third one is you were invited on stage in Vegas by a famous piano player. Hold on, two-

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Two are true.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Two are true?

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Two are true. One is a lie.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  I mean, how do we feel about her surprise?

• 22:53Speaker 00

  In terms of the robustness of this game?

• 22:57Speaker 04

  I, I'm confident.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  All right, so the third one, the piano player, is true. You went to see Elton John and you went on stage, right?

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 23:08Speaker 00

  Okay. Um, so it's between Hollywood producer and glass of wine with Jimmy Fallon. Hollywood producer?

• 23:19Speaker 00

  We must have done that on a show or something. I'm gonna say that the Jimmy Fallon one's a lie and the other two are true. Is that right?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  The Hollywood producer, no.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  No, so that's a lie. Okay. So did you have a glass of wine with Jimmy Fallon?

• 23:32Speaker 02

  No.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  No. Okay, and were you invited on stage by Elton John?

• 23:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:37Speaker 00

  Um, okay, so that, I think that went well. So now it's my turn.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Okay. Okay, Mum, so two of these are true and one is a lie, okay?

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  I, here's the first one. I'm a massive sports fan and I'll travel anywhere to watch live sport. One time, I trained with the NFL team, the Philadelphia Eagles. That's the first one. Second one, I love travelling, exploring new places. One time, I sustained a head injury while swimming because I didn't know when to turn at the end of a lane. And here's the third one. I love going out to eat. My favourite meal is a restaurant-made aubergine curry.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  The first one and the last one is true.

• 24:12Speaker 00

  The first one and the last one is true.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the middle one I don't believe.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  So why do you think I trained with the Philadelphia Eagles?

• 24:20Speaker 02

  I think Robin, Rob Beckett and the show, you have met those guys.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  Okay. Uh, why do you think my favourite meal is a restaurant-made aubergine curry?

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Because you love aubergine curry.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  Right.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  But Shanti, with the aubergine, isn't the implication then that he prefers restaurant curry, so homemade curry?

• 24:41Speaker 02

  No, I mean, if I'm not around there, maybe he will fancy aubergine curry, you must have already.

• 24:48Speaker 04

  But that's-

• 24:49Speaker 01

  But do you think that's his favourite?

• 24:50Speaker 04

  That's saying it's his favourite. He prefers it over homemade curry.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Maybe that's wrong. You wouldn't have.

• 24:57Speaker 00

  Mum, do you want to change your answer or stick with what you've gone for?

• 25:01Speaker 02

  First one, and yes.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  Second one, no. Third one is also no. Only one answer is right. The first one.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  Answer, well, two of them are true.

• 25:13Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  One's a lie.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  First one is true.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Second one is true, third one is a lie.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  Yay! And I tell you how bad that head injury was, I don't remember it happening. So it turns out-

• 25:31Speaker 04

  What happened?

• 25:32Speaker 00

  Well, it's happened to me quite a few times.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Do you try and do the somersault and then you hit your head?

• 25:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, it happens to me loads.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Why don't you just do the normal thing that, where you just like put your hand on and then spin?

• 25:43Speaker 00

  Well, it's not every time.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  But, you know, when you sustain a head injury, you forget that it's happened, don't you? No, I, I, I've done it quite a few times where I've hit my head. Uh, on holiday, filming, um, yeah, a lot. It's happened a lot.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  Sorry, mate.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Hmm, sorry to hear that.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  Hmm, thanks.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  But still, the brain is functioning, isn't it?

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  I believe so, yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Thank God, that's the main thing.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  Turns out, there's a lot more to both of us than you might think. And if you're an Amex card member, you can get more from all sorts of things you love. Like pre-sale access to London Restaurant Festival, pre-sale access and onsite benefits at Aviva Studios in Manchester, National Theatre, and American Express Presents All Points East. And even special ticket access to Brighton and Hove Albion Football Club's Amex Lounge. Search Amex UK to learn more. Preferred rewards, gold credit card, representative, eighty-five point eight percent APR variable, annual fees apply after the first year, eighteen plus, subject to status, Ts and Cs apply. Now it's time for our listener question section. Please give us some affection. We would like to hear your questions, your problems,

• 26:51Speaker 00

  and your stories. Send your WhatsApp messages and voice notes to 07731623355 or email podcast at rangabi.com. There is no problem, too great or too small. We're not licensed professionals, but we give it a good go, don't we, Mum?

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Of course we do.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  Uh, please don't, you know, take our advice as gospel. Um, we're just doing our best with the limited, uh, resources that we have to hand. Uh, first up, we've got a voice note from Franny.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Uh, hi, Romesh, Shanti, and, and others. Absolutely love the show and I was actually just hoping to maybe get some advice from you guys.

• 27:29Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  If that's okay.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Um. So I'm a musician. I make pop music. And the one thing that comes along with that is that I have to do live shows. So when I'm actually on stage, I'm fine. Um. And when I come off stage, I feel amazing. And like I immediately wanna do it again, but the lead up to the show, I just find unbearably stressful. Like sometimes for days leading up to it, I'll just be crippling anxious about it. Um. So Romesh, I was wondering if you've ever experienced like these kind of nerves before a show and how you maybe deal with that. And Shanti, I was wondering if you ever have like an upcoming event that you're incredibly stressed about, how do you go about controlling your anxiety? Um. Yeah, any advice is much appreciated. Thanks, guys. Uh. Have a lovely day.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 28:16Speaker 00

  Franny, we've got like a pop singer's.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 00

  Messaged in. Um. Edibles. Just smash a couple of heavy THC bad boys. And you won't even remember you did a show. Um. Mum, do you, you used to perform quite a bit, didn't you? We were talking about this on the phone yesterday.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  You used to do like live dance shows and stuff like that. So what did you do? Did you get nervous?

• 28:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  I was extremely, not extremely, I was young. I really wanted to show everybody. How talented I am. Sorry to say this. I was very young. I was at school. And I tried my best to dance well and sing with the group and um other things I did.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  I wasn't nervous, but now I am because of getting older.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  Right.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  What I do, I buy the stuff in a body shop or.

• 29:08Speaker 00

  Oh, the mushroom oil. Just put it under your tongue.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Under your tongue, you spray. Flour is called.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  Oh, herbal. Mum has a herbal relaxant or something.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that I do that because even little things makes me uneasy. I'm I'm nervous and uh. Will it go right and things like that. Even invited somebody and I have to cook nicely, so. I am nervous about li- any little thing.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Um. Franny, thank you so much for your voice note. Uh. I have tried different things on different tours. Um. I don't tend to get nervous for little short spots, but when I'm doing tour shows, you, I sometimes I get, I used to get. A bit nervous and I'd have different rituals to prepare. Sometimes I would like, w- w- w- during the support act. I would walk behind the stage up and down and try and imagine being on stage and blah, blah, blah. I've given up on all of that, uh, to be honest with you. And now I've, I've sort of settled on a pre-performance ritual that is the most minimal.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  That I've ever done. And this is kind of what I think I've settled on now, which is um. Is to get yourself in the mindset that all of the prep that you need to do for the show, you will have done by the time you arrive at the venue. Or arrive at where you're gonna be doing it. So do not freak yourself out by trying to. Remember bits of what you're doing or like really getting into it. What I tend to do is I'll do some vocal warmups or whatever. And try and just get myself loose so that I can speak properly. But apart from that, I, this is what I personally do. I disengage from the fact I'm about to do a show almost entirely up until the last second. So. I'm normally just watching something on my laptop or on the TV backstage.

• 30:49Speaker 00

  Uh. Right up until my tour manager says it's time to go on stage and then I'll engage with it as late as possible. For me personally. If you start thinking I'm doing a show, I'm doing a show, I'm doing a show, you can actually get yourself so worked up. You're ready to do the show. Uh. But if you start going, I've got to try and remember this, what will happen is you will start to not remember stuff and you think shit, I'm not ready. You are ready. So for me, actually, the, the, the dealing with the nerves is prep before you even get there. And make sure you feel comfortable with all of that. And then once you get to the venue, just try and have as nice a time as you possibly can. You know, if you turn up there an hour and a half before you do to perform, why ruin it by freaking yourself about how that's gonna go? I think just chill out, relax, do whatever you need to do, listen to a podcast, listen to music that relaxes you and then.

• 31:35Speaker 00

  A couple of minutes before, okay, I'm ready to perform and then you go and do it. I think you, it's about minimizing that time we're engaging with the anxiety of it. That's what I do. Hope that helps. What do you think of that advice, Mum?

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Beautiful advice.

• 31:47Speaker 00

  Really beautiful.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Make use of it, darling.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Uh. This is an email from Drew. Uh. I'm not gonna say the surname, but what I am gonna say is, uh. Just reading the first, I think this guy's a prick. To the amazing, fantastic, marvelous Shanti and Romesh.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Why are.

• 32:06Speaker 00

  What do you think of that?

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Why are you looking at me like that?

• 32:08Speaker 00

  Reaction.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  I'm happy.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  I'm sure you are.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, i- i- i- if that's how I'd been addressed, I'd be happy too. I'm a forty-one-year-old single man from London. I've spent most of this year retraining to become a hypnotherapist.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I'm going to go to him.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  We, li- uh, what's your knowledge of this guy?

• 32:31Speaker 02

  I'll find out.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  Literally heard one line from an email, although he did compliment you.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  I thought this would be a fairly interesting thing to tell potential dates. I hope that's not the reason that you've become a hypnotherapist. After all, I'm learning how the mind works, helping people overcome anxiety and generally trying to make the world a slightly less miserable place. However, I've noticed something quite strange. Whenever I tell women on dating apps that I'm training to be a hypnotherapist. The reaction is something along the lines of, are you going to turn me into a chicken? Are you going to be able to read my mind? Rather bafflingly, are you gonna make me act like a chicken in the bedroom? These are all genuine messages. Who are you matching with? Uh. I'm beginning to wonder whether they think I spend my evenings swinging a pocket watch in front of unsuspecting members of the public. Or whether they think I have an unhealthy obsession with chickens. So my conundrum is this. Is being a hypnotherapist genuine or romantic red flag? Should I stop mentioning it until the third date?

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Or should I abandon the whole thing and tell women I'm training to be something that causes less concern to them, like a fucking embalmer? Like a fucking embalmer.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Embalmer. What's that? I don't know.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  That's either, well, I don't need you to get it while you're embalming.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  I think it was like more of an exclamation, wasn't it? Like a, like a fucking embalmer, not like, like a fucking, like a fucking embalmer. Um. I'd like to know what you both think. Cheers, Drew. Uh. Drew, good luck on your online dating.

• 33:51Speaker 00

  Mum, if somebody you were seeing for a date said they were a hypnotherapist, how would you feel?

• 33:57Speaker 02

  I'd be nervous.

• 33:58Speaker 00

  Why?

• 33:58Speaker 02

  Very nervous.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  I would have thought they'd go to you, are you gonna hypnotize me to shag you or something? Not like, are you gonna turn me into a chicken?

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Hmm. I don't like that. No, I really don't. When, if he hypnotized me. To act like a dog, I don't think.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  No, but he wa- he, okay, he's not going to hypnotize me like a dog. He's saying this is the misconception that somebody's going on a date with has.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Hmm. So I don't know what to say.

• 34:25Speaker 00

  You don't know what to say?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  No.

• 34:27Speaker 00

  Okay. Um. Would you go on a date with a hypnotherapist?

• 34:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 34:32Speaker 00

  Why not?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  I don't know, I'm nervous.

• 34:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Because my grandmother told me.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  Can I just try one bit of hypnosis quickly?

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  When I click my fingers.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:41Speaker 00

  Okay, close your eyes.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  When I click my fingers.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 00

  You will believe there's a helicopter circling.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  This, oh.

• 34:50Speaker 00

  Why you, why you?

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Because there's a fucking helicopter I can hear.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  What do you take me for, Romesh? Dumb idiot.

• 35:04Speaker 00

  Have you seen that? Have you seen that video that went viral?

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Listen.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  When the guy goes.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  Listen.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  When I, when I.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Listen.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Sorry, well, I thought I was talking.

• 35:14Speaker 00

  How about this?

• 35:15Speaker 02

  You can do this.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  How can you, if somebody's in the middle of talking.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  My son.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  So what?

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Obey.

• 35:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Have you seen that video that went viral where he goes? When I click my fingers.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 00

  You will forget that you are gay.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  I'm not gay.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  That's, have you seen that video?

• 35:44Speaker 00

  So funny. Um. Okay, so you wouldn't date your hypnotherapist?

• 35:47Speaker 02

  No, never.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Could be useful, couldn't it?

• 35:49Speaker 00

  In what way?

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Couldn't there be ways in which like, oh, if you, you know how like they can make you think uh onions and apple?

• 35:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, what, yeah, and that's, I've got, I've always wanted to be able to do that.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Then it's like you could then get access to.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  Onions.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  You could then, stuff that you don't normally like, you could, they can make that's readily available, they can make you really love. It could be like, you can make, yeah, it doesn't, this could be benefits, couldn't there?

• 36:13Speaker 00

  Uh. They could be benefits. I think that's weird that that was your go-to benefit. Did you, there was a, I did a show called It's Not Rocket Science, um, like many years ago. And on that show, there, I can't remember what the name of the plant was, but there's a plant called, oh. I think it's called, I actually think it's called miracle berry or something like that. And what it does is when you eat that berry. It coats your taste receptors in something that means everything tastes incredibly sweet to you, right? For about an hour and a half afterwards. And I don't know if they, I don't know if it's an hour and a half, whatever, but basically I ate that, that. They turned it into a pill. I ate that pill and a lemon, I was able to eat a whole lemon. It tasted incredible.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  Miracle berry.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  I think it's called miracle berry, is that right?

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right, yeah.

• 36:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, miracle berry.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  West African evergreen shrub.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  Temporarily changing how you taste, yeah, it was insane. And then they had to, I, I was doing it for the show and then they had to say to me, Romesh, you. You've got to stop eating these lemons.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  What did it taste of?

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Tastes like sherbet or something. It like magnifies the sweetness in anything.

• 37:18Speaker 06

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• 38:03Speaker 02

  He had a food after that?

• 38:05Speaker 00

  I can't remember, but it was lemon that really stuck out in my mind. But it was incredible, but only lasts for a little while though. But they were, they were marketing it as a, as like a diet supplement or something like that.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  But Ajinomoto does the same.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  Sorry?

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Ajinomoto.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  Right.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  They use it on noodles and things like that.

• 38:21Speaker 00

  Ajinomoto?

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Ajinomoto, yeah.

• 38:23Speaker 00

  Ajinomoto?

• 38:24Speaker 02

  It gives you the taste, taste, you add it to the food, but.

• 38:30Speaker 00

  You know, do you know that you're starting to talk, I don't know if you're doing this deliberately, you're starting to talk like a hypnotist. You just, you just want to change the taste, the taste. Ajinomoto, the world's first, oh, it's MSG.

• 38:45Speaker 01

  MSG.

• 38:45Speaker 04

  MSG.

• 38:46Speaker 00

  Right, right, right, okay.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  When you put that on the food, most of the time you.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  You're doing it again?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, sorry.

• 38:55Speaker 00

  Most of the time, it changes the taste, you will taste.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, so maybe.

• 39:01Speaker 00

  MSG.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  You're, you're magical, very, very.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  No, it's not MSG.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Ah, okay, MSG does that.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  MSG just makes everything taste incredible, right?

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Incredible, yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  Quite controversial, was it controversial for a while?

• 39:14Speaker 01

  I think it was, wasn't it? They, they sort of like tried to row back on it, but now I think it's.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Because then make your people, make the people lose their hair.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  I think that's, I don't.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  In the long run, in the long run.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  Let's just challenge that. That's not based on any information or data at all, I believe. I don't.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  It's true, Robbie, it's true.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Again, I need to, can we, can we, no scientific evidence links MSG to hair loss or balding. So we have to say that, you know?

• 39:43Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  We have to, on this podcast.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  We check stuff like that.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Please do.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  But it's not proven that it doesn't.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Ah, there you are.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Ben, why have you done that?

• 40:01Speaker 04

  Jury's out, that's all.

• 40:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Being balanced.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  I cooked noodles, I put Ajinomoto and I tried without the Ajinomoto.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  The other one tastes much, much better.

• 40:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, and you look like a fucking Chewbacca.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  Um, anyway, let's, let's deal with, uh, this problem. I, I've got to be honest with you, based on.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Can you hear the helicopter?

• 40:28Speaker 00

  You know, my, my, I don't, this doesn't feel like it sounds like, I, I think you're getting a little bit caught up with people's misconceptions of what a hypnotherapist is. If somebody said, if you say to somebody, I'm trying to be a hypnotherapist and they go, are you going to turn me into a chicken? Don't you just go, no, that's not what hypnotherapy is and then explain what it is? It's not like, this is not a, you know, this is not an ongoing thing, right? I mean, hypnotherapy is a useful thing, so it's actually quite cool. It's like a conversation starter. You can go, no, actually, this is what it is and talk to them about it. It's quite cool. I think it's good, you know, don't you think?

• 41:08Speaker 02

  I think so, but I won't go him doing that to me.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  He's not going to do that.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Dog, imagine you are a dog and then I start barking.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  No, but I don't think it works that way. And also hypnotherapy isn't that.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  So what do they use it for then?

• 41:24Speaker 00

  What do they use what for?

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Hypnotize you for what?

• 41:27Speaker 00

  So they will like, it, it, it enables you to, by the way, I'm speaking with almost zero knowledge on this.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  But I believe what they do is they put you in a receptive state and then, uh, you can sort of consider things that have been causing anxiety and, or, or whatever, and focus on those and kind of process them while you're under, so that when you come out, you feel like you've, you've, you've dealt with it. To a degree.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:55Speaker 00

  I believe, I mean, I've really summarized it, like.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  But I have seen the shows.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  But that's not what you're watching is not hypnotherapy.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  And I think maybe that's what this guy needs. He needs, he needs a line that he can say to people when they say that they think it's like that and he can say, no, it's like, I think he needs that.

• 42:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, will you turn me into a chicken? Only if you want. Hmm, how about that?

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, sexy.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  My grandmother used to tell me.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  And I could be the fox, no.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Sorry to interrupt, eh?

• 42:24Speaker 00

  Anyway, go on, sorry, Mum.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  Grandma used to tell me.

• 42:27Speaker 00

  Listen.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 42:29Speaker 00

  See, annoying, isn't it? I'm, I, I, I, I, it's a teachable moment. Okay, go on.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  He said, no, when you're talking to a guy, you know, I was 16, 17, don't look at his eyes, he used to say, he can hypnotize you. That's what he used to say. So when I talk to somebody, I don't look at the eyes.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  Feels like healthy advice. Um, okay.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  So where do you look?

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. A cock of balls exclusively. That's, that is, that's the old thing. If you want to stay safe when you're dating, look at their genitals. So the whole time he's talking, hmm.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Shut up, Rob.

• 43:11Speaker 00

  Unless that starts.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 43:17Speaker 00

  Like a little metronome. Uh, okay, time for one more. Dear Shanti, Romesh and crew, love your show, it's like a comedy show and a therapy session combined. Sorry, I only really watch the ones with Auntie Shanti. Fine. Romesh, it's a sign of appreciation to your fans and crew behind the scenes. Can you come up with a milestone celebration by each time you hit a milestone in terms of subscribers, you reveal the face of one of you behind the scenes crew? Part of me wonders whether the real reason they stay behind the scenes is because if they were revealed to the world, they may become thirst traps to the internet and steal your thunder.

• 43:47Speaker 00

  Um, much love, especially to Auntie Shanti, Shavam, your biggest fan from New Zealand. Uh, apparently we've recently hit 300,000 followers on Instagram, we're approaching 250 on YouTube. Boom, boom. Uh, woo!

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Do the pico, do the pico, do the pico.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  No, we're not, actually Ben was sort of semi-revealed, weren't you? And by that, I mean his semi was revealed.

• 44:28Speaker 00

  No, you were semi-revealed when we did the anniversary and you moved the balloon. People got quite excited by that.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't, yeah. I think it's, we had to keep that in because, yeah, otherwise you'd have come across as a bit rude.

• 44:41Speaker 00

  Oh, is that why? Oh, you could have just taken the whole thing out and we could have restarted. Don't make it, this is not a trap.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 44:46Speaker 00

  This is recorded.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Okay? So we can do whatever we want. We go, you could have moved the balloon and go, Romesh, shall we rude you? That is within the realms of possibility.

• 44:55Speaker 04

  See what you're actually like off, off camera. So it was a bit of both.

• 44:59Speaker 00

  I think you came across quite badly, actually.

• 45:01Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, how come?

• 45:02Speaker 00

  I was glad you put it in. Cause you kind of got a bit snappy. You're like, I thought you were gonna move it anyway. My mistake, my mistake for thinking you'd have helped. You kind of were a bit shitty, weren't you?

• 45:12Speaker 04

  That's fair.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  I don't think either of us, don't get me wrong, I don't think either of us came across great.

• 45:18Speaker 00

  I, I could imagine like if they, in years to come, if they did a documentary about this podcast, it would be like you guys, silhouetted. And then it, and then it'd be like, and then somebody would go, when did you start to think the, it was starting to fray a little bit? And you go, well, of course there was the one year anniversary. Then it cuts to that clip. Oh, sorry, put silly me. I, I, I thought you might help by moving it. Well, that's fine, go, go.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  Um, I think it's, we've worked together a long time. We're bound to have little moments where we snuff each other.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  I wasn't annoyed. I mean.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Neither was I.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  No, but the problem is, so you, but you were annoyed, weren't you a bit annoyed?

• 45:57Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Do you get annoyed?

• 45:59Speaker 00

  No, I don't tend to.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  No?

• 46:00Speaker 00

  No, not really. I, I do, I do think that sometimes when you're like, cause we're, I consider you like family, right? Like, not my family.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  But, but like, but, but you have a family, don't you? That's the point I'm making.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  So you consider me like the family that I have?

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, I consider you like somebody that has a wife and children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean that, I don't say that to everybody.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  Like just a human person.

• 46:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, no.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  No, but I think sometimes we probably talk to each other in like a,

• 46:35Speaker 00

  you know, we're all mates, aren't we? So you end up talking to each other a bit like, there's a shorthand, isn't there?

• 46:39Speaker 04

  There's a danger.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  Like if I go to you, can't get on with it. That's not, that's like, that's just banter, isn't it? Oh, not ideal. Oh, okay.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  But there's always that danger, isn't there?

• 46:49Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 46:50Speaker 04

  That it crosses over. When you, when you sort of, what's the phrase? Like when you sort of sail close to the wind, the boat might topple.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 04

  Over or something.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  When the what might topple over?

• 46:59Speaker 04

  The boat. What's it when you sail too close to the wind?

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:04Speaker 00

  That's Icarus.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Never sailed too close to the sun.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  I think you're thinking of Icarus' wax wings. Yeah. Is that what you're, is that a threat to me? It was a really, it's the most waffly

• 47:17Speaker 00

  sort of non-intimidating threat I've ever received. Well, I guess, you know, because the thing is, um, you know, bloody, if you, if, you know, you sail too close to the, uh, the, is it, uh, is it, is it?

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Live by the sword, die by the sword?

• 47:30Speaker 00

  Is it? Yeah, yeah, it's a good one. Yeah. Um, you bloody, you get to close, and then, yeah, and then Georgie stepped, it's almost like backing you up. I believe it's the, to the sun, Ben.

• 47:43Speaker 00

  It was nice.

• 47:45Speaker 00

  Uh, scary. Um, no, I get what you mean. Sometimes it can get misconstrued, can't it? And it particularly gets, what I think gets misconstrued is people watching, if they see that, sometimes people extrapolate when they see it on a podcast, whatever. They'll go, those two must hate each, they didn't, by the way, they didn't say this about that clip. But I've seen it where like you have a thing and they go, they must have had an argument beforehand and you've based it on that little clip. And if I mate, go on.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  Go on, sorry.

• 48:12Speaker 00

  No, what are you gonna say?

• 48:13Speaker 04

  No, is one of you two ever, like, have you ever, because you're both quite front footed, does it ever?

• 48:18Speaker 00

  Am I front footed?

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Uh, in, in a sort of jokey way.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  Yeah. So has it ever like, have you ever offended each other in, you know, by mistake?

• 48:28Speaker 00

  Have we ever offended each other by mistake, Mum? Have I ever offended you? On this podcast?

• 48:34Speaker 02

  No, not in this podcast.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Okay, but in life I have.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  In life we have.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  Okay, could you give us an example just to close out?

• 48:40Speaker 02

  No, I'm not going to go public.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. You have, you have.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Give me an example.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  You lose timbers so quickly, so I can't work it out.

• 48:50Speaker 00

  That's what everyone says about me. E- e- everyone says, Romesh, you lose your temper so quick. Uh, I, I am a fucking firecracker.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  He, shall I tell the, about the selling the tickets? Can I bring?

• 49:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. He accused me, then I bought eight tickets for some guys in Nottingham. I don't know any fuckers in Nottingham. And you accuse me, I never bought eight tickets.

• 49:21Speaker 00

  This is my side of the story.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Romy, I didn't do it.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  This is my side of, this is my side of the story, right? Mum offers tickets to my tour to everybody, right? Like a, a lot, right? And so, for example, she, to upgrade her courtesy car, she offered the guy a Viva ticket, okay? So, so then, somebody will say to her.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  One ticket, one ticket.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  Somebody will say to her, somebody will say to her, that happens a lot though, that's not the only time it's happened. Somebody will say to her, I tried to get ticket, my cousins tried to get tickets to Romesh's show and they couldn't, can you sort it out? And Mum will go, yeah, I'll sort it out. And then she sorts them out, free tickets, right? That's true, isn't it?

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's true.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  Yeah. So that happens quite a lot. And I gave the example and Mum has not remembered this, I haven't met.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  I don't know anybody in Nottingham.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  I know you don't.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Where did you send your dogs for, uh, training?

• 50:13Speaker 00

  Mum, Mum.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  They are from Nottingham, isn't it?

• 50:15Speaker 00

  I know loads of people in Nottingham.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  You must have given the tickets to them.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Mum, I, I didn't give them tickets. Mum, so this is my memory. Mum is very angry about this. And by the way, it's a real sign of how much I lose my temper. So the point is, is that Mum, somebody said to Mum, somebody said to Mum, I've got some family in Nottingham, can, could you sort out tickets?

• 50:35Speaker 02

  I never did that.

• 50:36Speaker 00

  Okay, so.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  I don't know anybody where, Ben, in Nottingham.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  I know Mum, but what I'm saying to you is, I think they had relatives in Nottingham. You, because I talked to, to Dinesh about this at the time. Mum said to me.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  Can you prove it to me?

• 50:48Speaker 00

  No, I can't prove it.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 50:50Speaker 00

  This is a long time ago, right? Mum said to me, there's some friends of mine, they're after eight tickets, there's people I know that are after eight tickets to your Nottingham show. Can you sort out, they want to be near the front, right? So I said, that's quite a big ask this close to the show, right? Because eight near the front is unlikely you're gonna have. Normally it's just dotted all over the place where you get your com tickets. And then I said to her, who is it? And she said, let me find the name. So then I started laughing because I was like, eight tickets near the front for somebody that you have to check the name, that feels like a push. Now, I mentioned that to Mum more recently, she reacted like this, told me I was lying, I'd made it up.

• 51:31Speaker 00

  Obviously I've sorted out tickets for some people in Nottingham and got really angry about the fact that I fabricated the story.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  I'm still arguing with you.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  I think somebody said, I've got family in Nottingham, can you sort the tickets out?

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Nobody said that to me.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  They won't dare asking me eight tickets.

• 51:47Speaker 00

  That's what, I mean, you dared to ask me for eight tickets?

• 51:51Speaker 02

  I didn't ask you for eight tickets.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  We had a phone conversation. That's my memory. It's possible I've got it wrong. I can't prove it.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  That's not nice, is it?

• 52:01Speaker 00

  No, I didn't think it was nice. I can't, well, I can't prove it.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  It should be in the computer.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  What computer?

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Whatever.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  You and I had a phone conversation and it stuck in my mind because it's such an insane thing to ask. So I remembered it and then I mentioned it to you and this happened.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  I never asked you for eight tickets, okay?

• 52:19Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  Believe, I will, I'll find out the truth. I think you send your dogs for training in Nottingham. You must have offered eight tickets for them, so you mixed up, yeah.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  There he goes again, losing his temper.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, there you are.

• 52:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  Fiery, fiery Romesh.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Fiery, fiery Romesh.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Oh, it's in the car when you're probably.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  Get out. What are you doing?

• 52:47Speaker 02

  What would the, the, what's her name? Angela thing. Never, ever, you know, if you're related to somebody, I, I don't mind. It goes out of my pocket.

• 53:00Speaker 00

  Do you think I said it like that? Like, like, let's, let's just, let's just throw it open to, do you think that's how I said it? Let, let's just, do you guys think, how likely do you think?

• 53:10Speaker 01

  If you'd lost your temper at the time, which, as we all know.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  It sparks.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  It happens a lot.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  It's a fireworks.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  This is how I said it, okay? I said, Mum.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  No way.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  That's too much.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  Take it easy, yeah?

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:29Speaker 00

  I said, Mum, you, what you've got to remember is it, this, there's actually a costing heard, that's what I said.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Never, no, Romy, you're such a liar you are. There's costing involved. No, that, you didn't say that.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  Are you saying I shouted in the car?

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm, I think you're lying. I'm, I'm gonna tell you this now.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  I'm not a liar.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  That's a lie. That, I'm not saying you're a liar.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Shall we call Angela and talk to her?

• 53:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, and ask if I'm shouting, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 00

  I wasn't, I didn't raise my voice.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  You didn't raise your voice.

• 53:56Speaker 00

  Okay, so how did I shout without raising my voice?

• 53:58Speaker 02

  The way you said it.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  So you didn't like my tone? That's a bit different.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  I didn't like the tone.

• 54:03Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Authority.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  Can I tell you why you didn't like the tone?

• 54:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  I was setting a boundary and you're not used to that and it upset you.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  I see. Because you are a head teacher.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  No.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Then, what do you do?

• 54:19Speaker 00

  And there I go again, losing my temper.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  I don't think I've ever heard you shout. I don't think I've ever heard, I don't think in my life, I don't think I've ever heard you.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  No, no, he does shout.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  I do, all the time.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  I don't think I've ever.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  I, I'm gonna tell you this now, uh, this is, this is, so Mum's saying I shout and I lose my temper a lot and that's backed up. I don't, I can't think of a time I've raised my voice. I can't. It must have happened. But I can't think of a time I've raised my voice in, in anger. I've shouted at the football.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  When you get scared, you get like, oh, you get like, quite like.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  We all saw that clip from Traitors where I was surprised by the thing and I screamed and I'd forgotten that happened and somebody said, why the fuck did you react like that? But in terms of shouting in anger, it doesn't happen. Very rarely for me. But I don't think that's, but I'm not, I'm not unique in that. Do you shout? Do people shout?

• 55:13Speaker 01

  No, I'm not really a shouter. I'm on the football pitch.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:16Speaker 04

  Young kids will make you shout. They'll, they force it sometimes, don't they?

• 55:21Speaker 01

  If, if, if they're in danger.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, I mean, more likely they're not doing what you're, they're told.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was trying to help you out.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  That is all we've got time for on this Thursday edition of the Romesh Wrangen Ethan Show. Please, could you remember to like and subscribe because John, we're still not liking, subscribing at the rate that we want, are we?

• 55:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:41Speaker 00

  No. If you are, if you are watching this or listening to this and you've not liked and subscribed, you're a, is that what we're saying?

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I'm saying that.

• 55:48Speaker 00

  Okay, there you go. You're a fucking piece of shit.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  No, I think we're just.

• 55:52Speaker 01

  Oh no, I'm not saying that.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  No, we're saying.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all like say, sorry, sorry.

• 55:56Speaker 00

  Keep enjoying, no, keep enjoying, but you're a freeloading fuck.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 56:02Speaker 00

  No, but I'm trying to.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  You just call yourself, you don't shout.

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Enjoy it and if you don't fancy liking.

• 56:07Speaker 00

  I'm not shouting now.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  Oh, you don't want to miss out, you silly fucking.

• 56:12Speaker 04

  No, no, again.

• 56:13Speaker 00

  What? No.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Just like, there, there are friends in our audience.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  Oh, you're our friends, but not really, if you haven't liked and subscribed, you're not a friend. You're more somebody that's turned up at the party. People go, who invited that fucking piece of shit?

• 56:23Speaker 04

  No, they weren't saying that. They're saying, you watch if you want and if you don't.

• 56:26Speaker 00

  Oh, sorry, yeah, but if you, if you are watching and listening and you haven't liked and subscribed, that's fine, but we'd love you to like and subscribe.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Lovely.

• 56:32Speaker 00

  But we like you less if you haven't, don't we? We're not liking and subscribing to you.

• 56:36Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  Uh-huh? Does that work?

• 56:38Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  But I would, I would like and subscribe to them if they would like.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  If you like and subscribe us, we'll like and subscribe you.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  Actually, we can't commit to that.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  But, but not your shitty podcast or whatever you're like, we don't, we.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  We've made a real rod for our own backs now.

• 56:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. Anyway.

• 56:58Speaker 00

  Thank you so much. Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. Before you go, if you've enjoyed this episode and you've not subscribed, that's a bold decision. Crazy behaviour. Follow and subscribe to the Romesh Wrangen Ethan Show wherever you listen. It helps me, really, like, really helps me. It helps the team. And it costs you absolutely nothing. We drop episodes every Monday and Thursday. Mondays, I'm joined by great guests. Thursdays, my mum, Shadi, joins me to answer your questions and family dilemmas. We'll see you Monday with another great guest and back here with Mum on Thursday. If you've got a problem you want to solve or a story you want to share, send it to [email protected]. Voice note or text us on 07731 623355.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  We can't promise good advice, but you might end up on the show. See you soon.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Oh, shut up, Romesh.