Pod Insights The Rewatchables ‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Joanna Robinson About this episode From Hell Month continues with Bill, Chris, and Joanna revisiting the nanny from hell in the 1992 thriller ‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle,’ starring Rebecca De Mornay, Annabella Sciorra, and Matt McCoy.
Producers: Craig Horlbeck, Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Matt Pevic
The Ringer is committed to responsible trading. Please visit https://fanduel.com/predicts to learn more about the resources and helpline.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript 20,736 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:05 Bill Simmons? The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find House of R with Joanna Robinson. You can find The Watch. Sure. Still cranking it. Uh huh. With CR.
0:18 Bill Simmons? It's from Hell Month. Joanna Robinson, I just, I gave her a blind invite. I said, pick the movie. Sent her a list. She came back Hand that Rocks the Cradle. CR is like, I'm in blind. Yeah. Just tell me the movie, I'm here. Please. Hand that Rocks Cradle is next. It's The Rewatchables, presented by FanDuel Predicts. You can predict the summer soccer showcase. Hmm. With FanDuel Predicts. From the opening game to the final whistle, stay locked in. Sign up now for your $25 bonus on FanDuel Predicts. Go to FanDuel.com/predicts to sign up. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets, LLC, a registered futures commission merchant. 18+, restrictions apply.
1:00 Bill Simmons? See terms at FanDuel.com/predicts/bonus-offer/terms.
1:07 Speaker 01 For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremfya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremfya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tremfya, proper training is required. Tremfya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection,
1:52 Speaker 01 flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremfya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more, or visit Tremfyradio.com.
2:21 Bill Simmons? And that rocks the cradle. We have a nice home here.
2:28 Bill Simmons? Somebody bad has come into our house.
2:32 Bill Simmons? This is a foundation. This movie lays of 35 years and counting of people just recreating this movie. What is it? What is it about that theme?
2:41 Speaker 02 Uh, that we've invited someone into our home and they're
2:44 Bill Simmons? Who has bad intentions.
2:46 Speaker 02 Um, it's everyone's primal fear, right?
2:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
2:49 Speaker 02 You've created your safety bubble and something has come here to stand in a nightgown in the rain and seduce your husband, you know?
2:55 Chris Ryan? Beyond even like the inviting somebody into their house, it's the what if I'm not a good parent? What if I'm an inadequate partner to my spouse? What if, what if, what if the stuff that keeps people up at night and From Hell movies dramatize that?
3:09 Bill Simmons? What if I
3:13 Chris Ryan? What if I get to bring something to Fed Ex?
3:17 Bill Simmons? What do you like the most about From Hell movies?
3:20 Chris Ryan? I think it's just that everybody, it's like a shared understanding in the audience. These were great theater movies, but even now, when you're watching it, like I was watching this with my wife, like when you're watching it, you can feel like how relatable the tension is because even if nothing like this has ever happened to you, you have feared it. You have, everybody has these shared fears, often baked into like a middle-class existence of like, I think everything is okay, right? I think everything's gonna be fine. And then it could just be one thing topples it all over. And my favorite is like roommate from hell, like single white female in Pacific Heights, but having the nanny from hell is, is gets it like some really, really deep, dark stuff.
4:03 Bill Simmons? What about you?
4:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think also this is just so huge on cable and VHS when we were younger. This played all the time. And I think that I completely, like even when we were too young to know what it was like to be an inadequate parent or an inadequate partner, you're just sort of like, what if there's a stranger who's come to your home to rip your family apart? And all of their schemes are very good and well executed. And what can you do? You know, someone's wearing a button down, a white button down and a smile and they're here to tear it all down.
4:34 Bill Simmons? It's right around here was when, uh, like they started doing the TV movies. That would always have people from like 90210 and Melrose Place and Party of Five.
4:44 Speaker 02 Lifetime's kicking off.
4:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah, yeah. Lifetime was kicking off too, but it was all, all of this happened at the same time. And it was always like, you shouldn't have fallen for, for this person. You, you're being stalked by your boyfriend or ex-husband.
4:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:56 Bill Simmons? You have a nanny that came in your house, but she has the wrong intentions. There's a neighbor next door, you gotta stay. And it just became this cottage industry. And I gotta say, I love it. It's great.
5:06 Speaker 02 Hits every time.
5:07 Bill Simmons? Even when it's bad, it's good. But I, I think what's interesting about this movie is it's really well done.
5:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:13 Bill Simmons? It has a really good director. It's acted well. Uh, Rebecca DeMornay is amazing in this, but, um, I was thinking this as the three staples or three of the staples from a From Hell movie. The seemingly smart character who's actually an idiot and misses 20 glaring red flags. You have to have this.
5:31 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:32 Bill Simmons? You have to have the person where you're watching along and you're just like, how can you not see this? What? So in this one, it's the mom, obviously. The red dress gets ruined. The baby suddenly won't breastfeed. The FedEx envelope disappears. Solomon, the beloved special needs gardener guy.
5:50 Speaker 02 Accused of pedophilia.
5:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, he's now a pet, he's now Jeffrey Epstein. Uh, daughter now hates him. Marlene, the best friend, might, might be having an affair with the husband. And then she dies in the greenhouse and then all of her inhalers, uh, get emptied out. And she's like, huh. It's a lot of red flags here.
6:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:08 Bill Simmons? And she finally figures it out, but we're like an hour thirty into the movie.
6:12 Speaker 02 Do you feel like would it have worked better for you if this plan had taken longer to roll out? If Peyton had been there for a long time?
6:18 Bill Simmons? Like a TV series?
6:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:20 Bill Simmons? And she seemed like she was on a schedule. I don't think she liked being in the basement that much.
6:24 Chris Ryan? Yeah, she was like, it's husband or bust.
6:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:26 Bill Simmons? She was like, this guy.
6:27 Speaker 02 She's like, I want that beard.
6:28 Bill Simmons? Kind of side eyed me when I was picking up the ice cubes that time. So that's one. The second, the second one that they usually put in there is there's an unexplained murder. Usually around the two thirds mark. Somebody dies.
6:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
6:42 Bill Simmons? And in the Lifetime movies, you know, right away, because it's always like somebody's friend or somebody's boss or coworker. And they just start getting a little nosey and you're like, oh, boy. This person's ended up in a whatever. So in this case, it was Marlene. And then the third one, which is really unique to this movie. And I think that one of the reasons my wife loves it so much is it has a bunch of these moments where you're just watching going, oh, no. Like when, like Dr. Mott's doing the examination.
7:11 Chris Ryan? Oh, my God.
7:11 Bill Simmons? And he puts the glove on and then he takes it out. It's like, oh, no.
7:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:16 Bill Simmons? The breastfeeding scene the first time, which is like, oh, no.
7:19 Chris Ryan? Solomon catching her breastfeeding.
7:20 Bill Simmons? Solomon catching her. Her being mean to Solomon?
7:23 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
7:24 Bill Simmons? That's another one. The asthma attack and then the surprise party. Claire, there's people in here.
7:31 Speaker 02 I think that's, that's part of the script. Like when we were joking on the text thread about sort of, you know, uh, fear of not finding your inhaler, fear of a greenhouse shattering, like fear of you having a horrible fight with your husband when everyone you know is in the next room. There are all these things where it's just sort of like, yeah, I am afraid of that. I've never had asthma, but I am always worried about where people's inhalers are. And I have not, I told you, I've not been in a greenhouse since I saw this movie.
7:56 Bill Simmons? Oh, my God.
7:57 Speaker 02 I'm terrified, like, why are half of what?
7:59 Bill Simmons? If they ruin greenhouses.
8:00 Speaker 02 Why are houses made of glass? Why would you ever go in there?
8:03 Chris Ryan? There's also like, uh, this screenplay by Amanda Silver.
8:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:06 Chris Ryan? That was like her thesis project, I think, from film school.
8:09 Speaker 02 Right.
8:09 Chris Ryan? And. I think now Joe and I both, we're both about to start talking about Cape Fear at some point, like coming out on Apple TV, another really good example of a kind of From Hell movie.
8:20 Bill Simmons? Oh, definitely.
8:20 Chris Ryan? And is incredibly rewarding because of how tight it is and how much is left off screen. Like, you know, what we don't have to sit through. This movie partially works because we don't have to spend an episode getting into Marlene and Claire's friendship. It's like, it's gestured at, it's understood.
8:43 Bill Simmons? Yeah, you know they're buddies.
8:44 Speaker 02 I was actually incredibly grateful this wasn't a TV show. Because they're, you know, a friend of mine came to me asking for a TV recommendation the other day, and she started rattling off what she's been watching. I was like, why are you watching all of these mommy murder shows, which are just such a thing right now? But I don't need to watch eight episodes or 10 episodes of every bend of the plot or every backstory for every character. Like, I don't need Peyton's entire backstory to understand why she's here. And I'm so grateful that this is a movie.
9:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
9:10 Speaker 02 Like, this would be, I think, I mean, they remade the movie. We can talk about the remake if we want to, but like, the temptation to make this into a limited series must be, you know.
9:19 Chris Ryan? Unbearable.
9:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Marlene, I don't need her backstory. She comes in three times like a fucking hurricane. It's great every time.
9:27 Speaker 02 She's an absolute bitch. I love her. Her lipstick is the wrong color for her shade of hair, and she's perfect.
9:32 Chris Ryan? She's got the third car phone in Seattle. You know what's also awesome about this movie, but these, this subgenre that you're celebrating this month is, they're really still the most relevant period pieces that we have, where so much of this movie could be brushed aside with like a Google search or whatever.
9:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
9:52 Chris Ryan? But the things that people are nervous about and the things that people fear and the anxiety that people have is still prevalent. It's just translated through different things, you know what I mean? Like, it's, it's stuff like, my social media account got hacked, or like, I think I got scammed, or my, my mother signed up for some weird thing and now she's a recurring donor to something that we don't understand.
10:17 Bill Simmons? She's an organ donor.
10:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah, exactly. But like, This stuff is like, just the anxieties of modern life are so persistent that it doesn't really matter that it's car phones and chain smoking, or if it's, it's your iPhone and other stuff.
10:32 Speaker 02 That being said, like, even before, uh, cell phones and the internet, we did ask for references.
10:38 Chris Ryan? Sure, we did maybe check that letter.
10:40 Speaker 02 We did occasionally ask for references, you know?
10:42 Bill Simmons? The other nanny said, "The playground."
10:44 Chris Ryan? Yeah, what's her name? Debbie, you know Debbie?
10:47 Speaker 02 I was with your daughter at the playground, is how she introduces herself.
10:51 Bill Simmons? Meanwhile, she doesn't have a nanny, so it's like, wait, how are you with my daughter at the, at the playground? Craig, you grew up with the From Hell movie.
10:59 Chris Ryan? I did, did I?
11:00 Bill Simmons? I don't know, it's your generation.
11:01 Chris Ryan? This is early 90s, though. What, what's like the staple From Hell 2000s movie?
11:08 Bill Simmons? You know, it pe, it started petering out because it drifted more in the TV. Cause I felt like they really tried to do this for 10 years, culminating in Domestic Disturbance, which is, I think, one of the great, one of the great unintentional comedy movies of the 2000s.
11:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:23 Bill Simmons? But that was when it started to kind of die, and then it really drifted into, um, into the Lifetime. There was a lot of like, black movies that would have like, the all-black cast that would basically do the same premises, and that, that's still going. And I think a lot of it's just moved to true crime, like, true crime docs and stuff.
11:40 Chris Ryan? It's true crime, and it's also like, I think some of the, the feeling of it can be found in Ozark. Uh, but yeah, to Joe's point, like, they made Presumed Innocent into a limited series rather than remaking Presumed Innocent now.
11:54 Bill Simmons? Yeah, cause it's, you just get more episodes, so now, we would have the backstory episode with, we would have the backstory episode with Dr. Mott.
12:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
12:03 Speaker 02 Well, isn't that what all?
12:04 Bill Simmons? It's like, let's go backwards four years with Dr. Mott.
12:07 Speaker 02 Like, All Her Fault, the Sarah Snook show that people, like, loved on Peacock, isn't that essentially, like,
12:12 Bill Simmons? That show was horrible, and I devoured it.
12:14 Chris Ryan? And they also, but don't they also do, like, each character's backstory is played out?
12:18 Speaker 02 But that's, that's the problem, and again, like, the, the 2025 remake, I, I had, didn't watch it, but I was reading sort of what they changed, and it's just this compulsion to give you, uh, a reason why people are from hell, and I, sometimes I just don't want that. Bitches can be crazy.
12:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I know the fact that, that Peyton seems mean before everything else goes wrong anyway, you know?
12:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:41 Chris Ryan? Like, she, like-
12:43 Bill Simmons? I mean, this movie has so many subtle, great moments that establish that she's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. But when Solomon meets her and gets the paint on her, he's like, oh, I'm sorry. She fucking devil stares at her for a split second, and it's like, oh, no.
12:57 Speaker 02 That was my first rewind. I was just like, I gotta watch it again. You know, Rebecca DeMornay is so good in this movie.
13:05 Bill Simmons? Let's talk about her, because I had written down, it's her and Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction in the finals for Best From Hell performance.
13:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
13:14 Bill Simmons? She's out of control in this movie.
13:15 Speaker 02 Sharon Stone's out.
13:16 Bill Simmons? She's doing so many different things. Sharon, you consider that a From Hell basic instinct?
13:21 Speaker 02 I don't know. It's a middle ground. What about, like?
13:25 Bill Simmons? To me, like, it's...
13:26 Speaker 02 What about Gone Girl? Rosamund Pike?
13:29 Bill Simmons? Semi-finals.
13:30 Chris Ryan? Jennifer Jason Leigh, Single Life Fimo?
13:32 Bill Simmons? Yeah, maybe semifinals. Maybe that's your final four.
13:34 Speaker 02 What about the jailbait division of, like, Alicia Silverstone?
13:38 Bill Simmons? Poison Abby?
13:39 Speaker 02 Drew Barrymore?
13:40 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Poison Abby's dark.
13:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
13:43 Bill Simmons? Poison Abby, Drew Barrymore, 16, has a passionate affair with Tom Skerritt, who's like 40.
13:49 Chris Ryan? Okay.
13:50 Bill Simmons? And, like, they have, like, a sex scene. I don't think that would be flying now.
13:54 Chris Ryan? What year is this?
13:55 Bill Simmons? This is early 90s.
13:57 Speaker 02 91 or something like that, yeah.
13:58 Bill Simmons? Zoe was home for a month, and she loves these movies, and we watched The Crush, because it was on Tubi. And 20 minutes in, she's like, Dad, how did they make this?
14:07 Chris Ryan? I know.
14:08 Speaker 02 The Crush and The Babysitter.
14:10 Bill Simmons? 16? I was like, I don't know. Different times.
14:13 Speaker 02 That's a cursed double feature.
14:14 Chris Ryan? Fear is another one from that era, where you're like, holy shit.
14:18 Speaker 02 Well, yeah. Fear is very much in, like, the Lifetime movie. Every boyfriend is bad, actually.
14:22 Bill Simmons? But that's another one that has really good actors. Like, William Peterson's in that. Wahlberg, Reese Witherspoon, Alyssa Milano.
14:28 Speaker 02 A roller coaster.
14:29 Bill Simmons? DeMornay, though, so, we did Risky Business a while ago. And she's Lana, the prostitute.
14:38 Bill Simmons? And is with Tom Cruise and his lights out and every guy my age is in love with her from that point on.
14:44 Speaker 02 I think that train, that sex scene on that train is one of the best sex scenes in all of cinema, honestly.
14:50 Bill Simmons? Tangerine Dream?
14:51 Speaker 02 Tangerine Dream.
14:51 Bill Simmons? NCR is down with it.
14:52 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I am down. More for the music, though, yeah.
14:55 Bill Simmons? And it just never happened for in the eighties. Slugger's Wife, I remember was a big one with Danny from Caddyshack. It's a baseball movie, Craig. He played a home run hitter in the Atlanta Braves.
15:06 Speaker 02 And she was the titular Slugger's Wife?
15:08 Bill Simmons? It was horrible.
15:09 Speaker 02 Well, that title is horrible.
15:10 Bill Simmons? Really terrible, terrible. He just, he looked like he was swinging like a big salami. It just wasn't. Like, it just didn't seem like he had a bat. It was like he was.
15:22 Bill Simmons? Runaway Train, okay. Eric Roberts, John Voight. Probably the best one she did. She made this movie called And God Created Woman. That was supposed to be. It was Roger Vadim, whatever his name was.
15:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah, yeah.
15:36 Bill Simmons? And then she made this movie Feds, and it just never happened. And.
15:39 Chris Ryan? I remember Feds.
15:41 Bill Simmons? She apparently was trying to get Tinker Bell and Hook, lost it to Julia Roberts and was like, fuck it, I'm going darker. And did this.
15:48 Speaker 02 She was in a much better Tinker Bell.
15:50 Bill Simmons? Well, and then she had a couple, a couple nineties movies, but it's just like, even when she did Prestige for HBO, it was John and Cincinnati. Like, she just had bad luck with parts and movies and. I always thought there was more there, Joe. I thought she was a really good actress. I thought she was smoking hot and I thought she could be evil or nice depending on the situation.
16:10 Speaker 02 Her trilogy for me is Risky Business, Hand the Rocks Cradle, and then The Three Musketeers, the nineties Three Musketeers.
16:16 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that was another good one.
16:17 Speaker 02 She's fantastic in that movie. She's, she's just always incredible. And yeah, just didn't pick the right projects, I think.
16:24 Chris Ryan? There's like probably half a dozen eighties and early nineties movies that you could go through and be like, oh, I wonder if she could have, like, could she have just done Kelly McGillis in Top Gun? Or could she have done any number of movies?
16:35 Bill Simmons? That's what she's missing. She's missing the one big ass, like.
16:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
16:39 Bill Simmons? Hundred million dollar where she's just the, the love interest.
16:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
16:44 Bill Simmons? Banging it out.
16:46 Bill Simmons? I always thought like, I wrote down in my notes, elevated Heather Locklear.
16:51 Speaker 02 I like that.
16:52 Bill Simmons? Like Heather Locklear goes on Melrose Place and is awesome, right? She's like the bitch, but it's like a campy, not great show. She was a much better actress than that. But she could, there was a campiness to her in a good way that I just felt like they never figured out.
17:06 Chris Ryan? Yeah, like what's another one that she could have done that I like?
17:09 Bill Simmons? Well, could she have been Basic Instinct? Could she have been Sharon Stone? I feel like she could have.
17:13 Chris Ryan? Yeah, but even to not do another sex pot role, like what if she did the Meryl Streep part in The River Wild?
17:19 Speaker 02 Right, of course, Hanson Hens.
17:20 Bill Simmons? I would have asked that.
17:20 Speaker 02 Loyalty to her, sure.
17:22 Bill Simmons? She's in our, our favorite backdraft.
17:24 Chris Ryan? She's great in Backdraft.
17:25 Bill Simmons? She's really good in it. But it was always weird to see her just as like somebody's girlfriend in a movie. It always felt like there was more of a danger.
17:32 Chris Ryan? Like, weren't you gonna kill this guy?
17:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
17:33 Speaker 02 Can I?
17:34 Bill Simmons? But it might be the risky business thing. It might have been because that was the first time we knew her.
17:37 Speaker 02 Right, can I ask you, is there a more interesting biographical detail than left Harry Dean Stanton for Tom Cruise?
17:45 Chris Ryan? No. And then Harry Dean Stanton showing up on set to be like, where's Tom Cruise?
17:51 Bill Simmons? Yeah, like they must have had like a love triangle fight. It's a great one.
17:54 Speaker 02 Harry Dean Stanton, Rebecca DiMornay and Tom Cruise. Incredible.
17:58 Bill Simmons? She's two movies short, but she made, she worked the whole time. It just never really happened, but she's doing a lot in this movie. Like that, that scene when she goes to visit the husband about, hey, I want to plan a surprise party. And they're just, their blue eyes are just battling for two minutes. And then she sashays away with the, with the stroller.
18:18 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
18:19 Bill Simmons? And it's just like, this is just good stuff, man.
18:21 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
18:21 Bill Simmons? She's owning, owning the room.
18:23 Speaker 02 She is this movie. Like I, I think this movie is well written and obviously, you know, an incredible director, well shot. But DiMornay is like, her ability to change her facial expression on a dime and look absolutely terrifying. And then honey sweet, uh, the next second, that's this movie.
18:39 Bill Simmons? Yeah, my wife said, my wife thinks she's great in this movie. And she's like, she's really good at. Being an actress, playing a bad person who has to pretend to be an actress.
18:48 Chris Ryan? Yes. Pretend to be a good person.
18:50 Bill Simmons? The second layer actress where she's like, oh no.
18:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:54 Bill Simmons? The baby almost ate the earring and but you know she's full of shit.
18:58 Speaker 02 Claire, we were so worried about you. We're so glad you're home.
19:00 Chris Ryan? Her eyeballing the red dress when she's trying on the black dress.
19:03 Bill Simmons? You told me you could borrow this. There's like a million.
19:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
19:06 Bill Simmons? So why does this movie resonate with women the way it does?
19:08 Speaker 02 Why do women love this movie? I, I'm, I was watching it and asking myself that question. And I think part of it has to do with like how inconsequential the husband is.
19:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
19:18 Speaker 02 Like he's barely in this movie and it really is just about like these two women and Julianne Moore. And that's like, those are the primary drivers of the story. And so then it just becomes like very much about women's fears of other women and all. And I like this idea of like the from hell or bitches be crazy genre, whatever the case may be. There are plenty of reasons for women to not like it. And this is a movie that really gets to the core of something that's true about women somehow. Maybe because it has a female screenwriter. I don't know.
19:49 Bill Simmons? It also starts with like the moment when she sees her in the, on the bus. She's like, are you the Martels? And they're walking up and I'm watching with my wife. My wife's like, I would have been out, too hot. You're not living in my house. You're just not.
20:05 Bill Simmons? Sorry, honey.
20:06 Speaker 02 I mean, that's what Julianne Moore says. She's like.
20:09 Bill Simmons? She says it right away.
20:09 Speaker 02 Why'd you bring this person into your house?
20:11 Chris Ryan? We've often talked about the, you know, the latchkey kid phenomenon. And when we watch movies from the eighties being like, nobody was watching us. We were just, you know, from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. We were, it was up to us to stay alive. This is like the adult version of that. They're like, yeah, you know what? I just saw you almost get hit by a school bus. Why don't you come on over? This is fine. You can stay for dinner. I'm sure your letter of recommendation is totally watertight. It's such bullshit.
20:37 Bill Simmons? Hey, you're gonna walk around in your nightgown at night?
20:39 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:40 Bill Simmons? Dropping ice cubes on the kitchen? That sounds awesome.
20:45 Bill Simmons? Annabelle Shiora.
20:46 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
20:48 Speaker 02 I think she's great in this movie. The character is dumb as shit, but I think she's great in it.
20:52 Bill Simmons? It's so funny that it all comes full circle in The Sopranos. When she plays basically the from hell part for as Tony's mistress.
21:02 Speaker 02 You're talking to two people who have famously not watched The Sopranos?
21:06 Chris Ryan? Not in order.
21:08 Bill Simmons? What?
21:09 Chris Ryan? Not in order. Like, I've, I've seen, like, runs of episodes.
21:13 Speaker 02 Did I just?
21:13 Chris Ryan? No, I've said this before, yeah.
21:16 Bill Simmons? I'll tell you guys what happens.
21:17 Speaker 02 Tell us.
21:18 Bill Simmons? It's a little later in the run.
21:20 Chris Ryan? The Morne from hell, right?
21:20 Bill Simmons? She's a, she's a car salesman.
21:22 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
21:23 Bill Simmons? Like, a high-end car salesman that Tony becomes infatuated with, and it becomes a, a pretty deranged affair. And she's basically, flips parts.
21:34 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
21:34 Bill Simmons? Which makes me wonder, like, could you have flipped parts with these two in this movie? Would have been interesting. I don't think it's as good.
21:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, she auditioned.
21:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
21:41 Speaker 02 She auditioned for the other part, yeah.
21:43 Bill Simmons? But I think she could have done it. I just don't think, I think the Morne is so good as.
21:46 Speaker 02 Oh, no. But like, her coming off of jungle fever and being like, I'm gonna do another, yeah.
21:52 Bill Simmons? Yeah, so she does, she's in Internal Affairs, which we've done, Reversal Fortune, Jungle Fever, Hand of the Rock's Cradle. And then she's in a movie called The Night We Never Met, that I might be the only one who's ever seen that movie.
22:03 Speaker 02 I've seen that movie.
22:04 Bill Simmons? It's in Matthew Broderick.
22:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
22:06 Chris Ryan? Oh.
22:07 Bill Simmons? They're all time-sharing an apartment.
22:08 Speaker 02 It's great.
22:09 Chris Ryan? That's right. I've seen that.
22:11 Bill Simmons? It's a good movie.
22:11 Speaker 02 It's a great movie.
22:12 Bill Simmons? It's gone. I don't know if it exists.
22:14 Speaker 02 It's not, it's not a real movie, but it's a great movie.
22:16 Bill Simmons? And she kind of fall, she falls for Matthew Broderick.
22:18 Speaker 02 They fall for each other without having met each other, but just sort of like by their presence in the apartment.
22:23 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
22:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:24 Bill Simmons? It's really an interesting movie. It's just, I haven't seen it since. And then she was in Copland.
22:28 Chris Ryan? Yeah, she's great in Copland.
22:30 Bill Simmons? And then had The Sopranos run, and it was always a question of.
22:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:34 Bill Simmons? Well, it's sad, but it was always a question of, man, she was great. Why wasn't she more stuff? And it turned out she was one of the biggest Harvey Weinstein victims.
22:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
22:41 Bill Simmons? Of all of them. Like, he actually sabotaged her career. But I, I always thought she was really good. I always liked her and everything.
22:47 Chris Ryan? She's, uh, it's really interesting to think about them doing the opposite role because in a traditional, maybe, way, you would be like. DeMornay is better known than Annabelle Shior, so she plays the hero in this out. But you would always be like, how could you not tell that this one is trying to take down Rebecca DeMornay? Like, it throws you off to be like, weirdly like, I know, I have more of an investment in Rebecca DeMornay as a performer than I do in Annabelle Shior. So I'm like, kind of almost expecting this to work out for her. Also, I do think that there is some blonde brunette, like Ginger Mary Ann kind of thing going on here.
23:24 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
23:25 Chris Ryan? Like, where you're inverting that somewhat.
23:28 Speaker 02 I can see it, yeah. But, and also this, like, the very, like, the preppy, prep from hell sort of vibe that she's giving here. Rebecca DeMornay, the like, button down pencil skirt, flat shoes, blonde hair, bangs, like, all of that. Annabelle Shior would be a different energy altogether. She can't quite do that.
23:47 Bill Simmons? Yeah, one of my biggest issues with the movie is that the nanny is like, too, she said she's like, too lived. Like, her clothes are nice, she's put together.
23:59 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
24:00 Bill Simmons? And it's like, what's the backstory with this lady?
24:02 Speaker 02 Right, again, if she-
24:03 Bill Simmons? Your husband died and your son died days apart, and you have some story about how they never caught the guy. But she's like, I just would have had 20 more questions.
24:12 Speaker 02 Well, yeah. You would have checked a single reference.
24:14 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
24:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:15 Chris Ryan? You didn't have an appointment. You're walking in off the street because you heard about this job at the park.
24:19 Bill Simmons? You're like, mid-30s?
24:21 Chris Ryan? You have a letter of reference.
24:22 Speaker 02 Right.
24:23 Chris Ryan? But, like, yeah, there's nothing else, like, what about, does she give her a social security number to pay her? Or is it cash under the table?
24:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah, how are they paying her?
24:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
24:32 Bill Simmons? Lot of-
24:32 Speaker 02 Seattle in the 90s.
24:34 Chris Ryan? Picking nets is gonna be incredible.
24:35 Bill Simmons? We're not ripping through all the nitpicks, because I have 20 more.
24:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:39 Bill Simmons? And then we have our guy, Ernie Hudson. Big, big 2026 for Ernie on the rewatchables. He's this character, and he's in Ghostbusters, and he's in Oz on a 12-year span. I think Ernie Hudson's awesome in this movie. Now, if this came out now, though, what's age the worst with Ernie Hudson is they would just not have a non-special needs actor playing a special needs person. With that said, I think he's doing a lot in this movie. And it's like, Solomon is really important as like, the proxy of the audience to, come on, you're the, he's the only one who knows.
25:12 Chris Ryan? His, his quote-unquote innocent eyes see the true evil in the house, yeah.
25:18 Speaker 02 The shot of his bike by the trash can when like in the final sequence and you're like, oh, Solomon's on the property somewhere. He'll save the day. This is, um, this is, I love this movie. This character is impossible. It's like ridiculous.
25:33 Bill Simmons? You don't like the savior, the savior gardener who's already been sent packing, but is somehow moderate in the house anyway?
25:39 Speaker 04 Having a child's underwear in his toolbox, but they're like, but you can still have like outdoor privileges.
25:45 Bill Simmons? They tell the little kid, hey, so Solomon's got another job. It's like he did.
25:49 Speaker 02 They didn't put her, the child in therapy? Like, what are we doing? Like, what's happening?
25:54 Bill Simmons? Lot of unanswered questions. Directed by Curtis Hansen, who's in a run of Bad Influence, Hand the Rocks to Cradle, River Wild, L.A. Confidential, and, uh, and Wonder Boys.
26:05 Speaker 02 I love Wonder Boys. He's, so he says that L.A. Confidential wouldn't have happened without this movie.
26:10 Speaker 04 The success of this movie.
26:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, this movie's such a huge success and River Wild is such a huge success. Then he got a blank check to make L.A. Confidential, one of our greatest movies.
26:18 Bill Simmons? Would you have bought that, the same director from L.A. Confidential did this movie?
26:23 Speaker 04 I feel like directors used to just really bounce around more than they do now in terms of genre. Now it's like, oh, Denis Villeneuve, like, I know what that's gonna look like.
26:31 Chris Ryan? Yeah, he's like-
26:32 Speaker 04 Eighties and nineties, it feels like they were just picking stories they liked and it could be anything.
26:35 Chris Ryan? The best safe pair of hands in Hollywood for a while, where it was just like, he can make pretty much any genre movie you want. There's not really an intrusive sense of style, but you're never like, this is a dumb shot, or this is a weirdly paced moment. It's all, it's all very well done.
26:50 Speaker 02 Very competent.
26:50 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
26:51 Bill Simmons? It's funny, Bad Influence was on the cutting room floor from Hell Month. I'm a big fan.
26:57 Speaker 02 It's not too late.
26:58 Bill Simmons? What? Not too late? You like that movie?
27:01 Speaker 02 To bring it back.
27:02 Bill Simmons? Tubi, classic.
27:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:04 Bill Simmons? Tubi's just cranking Bad Influence. It just flashes it. Yeah, Spader.
27:09 Chris Ryan? Yeah, I do like that movie.
27:10 Bill Simmons? Rob Lowe is the bad boy.
27:13 Chris Ryan? That's right.
27:14 Bill Simmons? He becomes friends with Spader. And Spader's name is like Michael and he starts calling him Mick. It's like they go out for the night. Come on Mick, we're going out. And just like absolutely torments him. It's a good one.
27:26 Speaker 02 He loves yuppies from hell. He loves, and then I can see the connective tissue between River Wild in this movie.
27:33 Chris Ryan? For sure.
27:33 Speaker 02 Absolutely. Like definitely.
27:35 Chris Ryan? That's the river from hell.
27:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:37 Bill Simmons? Yeah. So where do we stand on River Wild? Cause that was another.
27:39 Chris Ryan? It's dope. I love that movie.
27:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Yeah, that's like a, I don't know, hiking guide from hell. What do we call that?
27:44 Chris Ryan? It's also not a bad remake, the Netflix version of it.
27:48 Speaker 02 Oh, I haven't seen the Netflix version.
27:49 Chris Ryan? Brody plays the kind of Kevin Bacon part.
27:52 Speaker 02 Okay, fun. I love, I love when Brody goes bad.
27:55 Bill Simmons? This film's title is taken from the 1865 poem by William Ross Wallace. I know you have his collected works.
28:01 Chris Ryan? They really lay that on kind of thick. Yeah.
28:03 Speaker 02 Julie Morton's like, what's that phrase? Crazy poem I'm thinking of. We always quote that poem. What was it?
28:09 Bill Simmons? The Pirates of Penzance, just cranking.
28:12 Speaker 02 And Pinafore.
28:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
28:13 Speaker 02 This is a real Gilbert and Sullivan joint here. That's all they listen to in this house.
28:17 Bill Simmons? 11.9 million dollar budget made $140 million in 1992.
28:21 Speaker 02 Incredible.
28:22 Bill Simmons? So this is the same year as Single Way Female. This is the year From Hell really blossoms. Cause we have Basic Instinct, which is not, I don't consider that a From Hell movie, but that's 92. This movie and then Single Way Female and then Hollywood's like, all right, let's keep making this. And then concurrently.
28:40 Speaker 02 Women are crazy.
28:41 Bill Simmons? Well concurrently, Skinamax is like, let's.
28:44 Chris Ryan? Whatever you guys don't make will make.
28:45 Bill Simmons? Shannon Tweed, yeah. Are there any rejected scripts for you guys? Let's rip those out. Roger Ebert, three stars.
28:51 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
28:52 Bill Simmons? The film worked.
28:55 Speaker 02 Glowing praise from Raj.
28:57 Bill Simmons? Touches on a fear and that's why it appeals to us, says Raj. He praised our Rebecca De Mornay. De Mornay or Di Mornay?
29:05 Speaker 02 De Mornay, Rebecca De Mornay.
29:07 Bill Simmons? Di Mornay.
29:08 Speaker 02 De Mornay.
29:09 Bill Simmons? A very good job, a very sound job of being the villainous in this film. And I think it's an effective performance. Villainous, not a word we use enough.
29:16 Speaker 02 Let's bring it back.
29:17 Bill Simmons? It's a good one. Still time.
29:18 Chris Ryan? Do you think that De Mornay would be a good left wing option for Mm Bop?
29:25 Bill Simmons? Mm Bop, Mm Bop.
29:28 Chris Ryan? I don't know why you were like, there's not 13 Ms here.
29:31 Bill Simmons? I just struggled.
29:34 Speaker 02 Just spun out on it.
29:35 Bill Simmons? Sarah, it's hard to host.
29:36 Chris Ryan? I know, man. Look, it's like, everybody's cocky until it's time for the World Cup. And it's like, shit, this guy's name.
29:42 Bill Simmons? Bop it.
29:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
29:45 Bill Simmons? We're gonna take a break and then we're gonna do rewatchable scenes. The rewatchables is brought to you by FanDuel predicts. You can predict the summer soccer showcase, wink, wink, action, all the way to the final match with FanDuel predicts. All you have to do is sign up to get your $25 bonus from the opening game to the final whistle. Stay locked in with every pass, every goal, every moment that moves us closer to crowning our first champion in four years. Sign up now for your $25 bonus on FanDuel predicts. Go to FanDuel.com/predicts to sign up. That's FanDuel.com/predicts to get your $25 bonus. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets, LLC, a registered futures commission merchant. 18 plus restrictions apply.
30:31 Bill Simmons? See terms at FanDuel.com/predicts/bonus-offer-terms. This episode is brought to by Ethos. As a parent, life insurance feels like a no brainer. It just gives me peace of mind knowing my family will be taken care of. And Ethos makes getting it fast and easy. Apply online in minutes. Get up to 3 million in coverage with no medical exam, just a few simple health questions. Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote at ethos.com/rewatch. That is E T H O S dot com slash rewatch. Application times may vary, rates may vary. Most rewatchable scene.
31:13 Bill Simmons? Look, this isn't 100% rewatchable, but it's really good. Dr. Dr. Mock gets creepy.
31:19 Speaker 02 Wow. Wow.
31:20 Bill Simmons? I just, we have to talk about it. I wouldn't put this as a finalist.
31:24 Chris Ryan? We were skipping the first 20 minutes, honestly, yeah.
31:26 Bill Simmons? No, this scene is like, we are off.
31:29 Speaker 02 The gloves are off.
31:30 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
31:31 Bill Simmons? Everything about this guy.
31:32 Chris Ryan? When he sends the nurse out, why don't you give him the news? I got this.
31:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:37 Bill Simmons? And the way she's playing the scene too, where she's like. Huh.
31:42 Speaker 02 Well, again, this is like-
31:43 Bill Simmons? She's slowly realizing this guy's a psycho.
31:45 Speaker 02 This is so realistic to be, you know, you have to like, you have to go get breast exams. You have to go get gynecological exams and it's just sort of like, is this how this is usually done? Is there something going on here? And it's often like right on, right on the border there when, in these cases.
32:01 Bill Simmons? This is one of the many reasons why I think, I know my wife loves this movie, but it's a lot of like, everyday things that happen where it's like your worst nightmare of-
32:10 Speaker 02 And you were right. It was wrong.
32:12 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
32:12 Speaker 02 That nanny was trying to fuck your husband.
32:14 Bill Simmons? Right.
32:14 Speaker 02 You know?
32:15 Chris Ryan? That's right. You're not paranoid, paranoid if something is really trying to get you.
32:19 Bill Simmons? Dr. Matt's perfectly creepy. I wanted to nominate him for Dion Waiters, but I don't want him to win.
32:24 Chris Ryan? Well, cause he, there's, there is a, should we rename this for this person Dion Waiters? Performance in this movie, but like, he's, he's up there.
32:32 Bill Simmons? When he starts massaging her, her stomach.
32:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:36 Bill Simmons? And he's just like, like, almost like he's playing the piano and she's like,
32:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:41 Bill Simmons? It, it's really terrifying.
32:42 Chris Ryan? The closest thing I've ever come to this is when I got a colonoscopy and right before I passed out, the guy was like, love the pod, by the way.
32:48 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
32:50 Speaker 02 And then you're, you're just like, I was like.
32:54 Chris Ryan? No, cause I think the, whatever they give you the profo, profo ball or whatever.
32:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:58 Chris Ryan? I was just like, absolutely.
33:04 Bill Simmons? That didn't really happen, did it?
33:05 Speaker 02 Love the pod.
33:07 Bill Simmons? Love the pod, by the way.
33:08 Speaker 02 Sing that for, what if you'd done it after? Would that have been?
33:11 Chris Ryan? That would have been fine, but I would have felt a little tender afterwards.
33:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:15 Chris Ryan? This, I was like, I'm high. You can tell me whatever.
33:18 Speaker 02 I would just say, don't, keep it to yourself.
33:20 Bill Simmons? Or say after.
33:21 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 02 Yeah. Wow. Love the pod.
33:26 Bill Simmons? Next rewatch, well Peyton meets Claire in Solomon.
33:29 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
33:29 Bill Simmons? A scene just loaded with nitpicks, just walking up, looking for the house. Where'd you park?
33:36 Bill Simmons? What nanny at the park?
33:39 Chris Ryan? You stepped in front of a school bus?
33:40 Bill Simmons? Yeah, what? So, wait, you you lost your job, but you're not gonna, but you weren't. I I just, and Claire's just in. Say, yeah, come on in. Oh, I'll leave you alone with our with my baby as I talk to Solomon.
33:53 Chris Ryan? Yeah, me and my baby. Michael's like, she's great, let's snatch her up.
33:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah. He's a little horn dog.
33:59 Chris Ryan? No second interview, let's go.
34:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, let's go.
34:02 Bill Simmons? She's like, you know, nanny's talk. Good, no reference. Toss it aside. I lost my husband and baby within a few days. No follow up questions for me.
34:11 Speaker 02 Sounds right.
34:12 Bill Simmons? Tough break.
34:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
34:13 Bill Simmons? Um, so she hires a hot nanny with no references. Um, within six months. That nanny's in the baby room.
34:20 Speaker 02 You guys have seen the, obviously, as Sydney Sweeney devotees, The Housemaid.
34:25 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah.
34:26 Chris Ryan? I have not seen The Housemaid.
34:27 Speaker 02 I watched it this morning because I was like, is this like a? I I didn't know exactly the plot of The Housemaid and I was like, is it? No, it is, but the opening is almost exactly the same.
34:39 Bill Simmons? The Housemaid is terrible, like terrible. And it made like 300 million dollars.
34:43 Speaker 02 It made so much money.
34:44 Bill Simmons? But proving it again, people love this genre. It's just, it's the perfect date movie, it's the perfect.
34:50 Speaker 02 No, I mean, there are reasons inside of the plot of that movie that there's like, we're not bothering with references and here's your weird little Garrett room and all. Like, it's all the same.
35:00 Bill Simmons? And she's the next convict.
35:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:02 Bill Simmons? Um.
35:03 Speaker 02 And she looks like Sydney Sweeney.
35:04 Bill Simmons? Next rewatchable, this won't win, but has to be mentioned, the 3 a.m. breastfeeding sets the alarm. Oh, that's nice. We're gonna get up with the baby.
35:12 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
35:13 Bill Simmons? Oh.
35:15 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
35:16 Bill Simmons? Gas from the audience. Oh, no. Um, the double date with Julianne Moore. Can't wait to talk to her later.
35:24 Chris Ryan? Incredible.
35:24 Bill Simmons? Never let an attractive woman in a power position in your home.
35:30 Speaker 04 Remember that one, Craig?
35:31 Bill Simmons? Yeah, remember that one, Craig. We got multiple smoking?
35:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah. And also, Michael being like, can I have a cigarette? Which is a real...
35:40 Bill Simmons? Let me have one of those, yeah.
35:41 Speaker 02 What about the no, no hand smoking while driving?
35:44 Chris Ryan? Oh, it's iconic.
35:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, just like the cigarette dangling.
35:47 Bill Simmons? The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world?
35:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:52 Bill Simmons? Bonus points. Said the title. One of my favorites.
35:56 Chris Ryan? Plus five.
35:57 Speaker 02 That's the name of the show.
35:57 Bill Simmons? When I'm dead, it'll... That'll be the world. The Bill Simmons Award for saying the title in the script.
36:03 Speaker 02 When that happens, does it make more sense to you that Amanda Silver went from writing this later to being behind all the Apes movies and also the Avatar sequels?
36:13 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
36:13 Bill Simmons? Is that true?
36:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah. She does very well for herself.
36:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, she's made a ton of money on Apes movies and the Avatar sequels.
36:19 Bill Simmons? Honestly, I'm not surprised, because this movie's super smart. It's very well constructed.
36:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:23 Bill Simmons? So it makes sense that she figured out Apes.
36:28 Bill Simmons? The lady at the park telling Peyton she has her baby's eyes.
36:35 Bill Simmons? And our girl Becky, Becky DeMornay?
36:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
36:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:39 Bill Simmons? Does the...
36:41 Bill Simmons? Really? You're like, oh, man, here we go.
36:44 Chris Ryan? Is this also when Peyton checks Roth, the little kid?
36:49 Bill Simmons? Right in there. I'm limping those two together. Peyton fucking with the little kid.
36:53 Chris Ryan? Peyton at the park is a good scene, yeah.
36:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:55 Bill Simmons? I like when she, she has like a good angry walk across the park where it's like, oh, no. And then she pulls the kid, it's like definitely, you know.
37:03 Speaker 02 She like twists his arm behind his back.
37:05 Bill Simmons? It's real child abuse going on, but it feels like benevolent child abuse.
37:08 Speaker 02 But also, did that kid have it coming?
37:09 Bill Simmons? His arm's gonna be fine, and he had it coming.
37:11 Chris Ryan? And all of his friends are like, that was so cool.
37:15 Speaker 02 Maybe she scared him straight. Maybe he's gonna be great now.
37:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
37:18 Bill Simmons? The FedEx envelope disappears.
37:23 Chris Ryan? Don't wait till the last day, Michael.
37:24 Speaker 02 If you're an asthmatic, do you live in Seattle? There's a lot of hills. I just have questions about that.
37:28 Bill Simmons? Lot of rain?
37:31 Speaker 02 Is rain bad for asthma?
37:32 Chris Ryan? Is rain bad for asthma?
37:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it brings up shit.
37:34 Chris Ryan? Does it?
37:35 Bill Simmons? Yeah, doesn't it?
37:37 Speaker 04 I don't think so. I think rain usually gets rid, it clears out the air.
37:39 Bill Simmons? I think that's what people think, but it's the opposite.
37:44 Bill Simmons? Does it rain, kick up stuff?
37:45 Chris Ryan? You should have done that in RFK voice.
37:47 Bill Simmons? Actually, the rain is the worst. Actually. I've got ruda asthma vaccines.
37:54 Speaker 02 I think the first rain kicks up stuff.
37:56 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that's what I thought. Like the very first rain of the year. It rains every day and nothing gets kicked up.
37:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's constantly clean in Seattle.
38:02 Bill Simmons? Bring the FedEx envelope to FedEx yourself. Don't give that one to the wife.
38:06 Speaker 02 Such a dickhead move.
38:07 Bill Simmons? It's a once every three months thing. You gotta, you're really, you're gonna trust that to somebody else? Drive it yourself.
38:13 Speaker 02 I mean, I, I do think you can give your wife an important document to mail.
38:18 Bill Simmons? Like, it would be like, I wouldn't have given my wife.
38:20 Speaker 02 Have a copy of it.
38:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
38:21 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
38:21 Bill Simmons? Hey, Carrie, will you take this rewatchables rundown? I have no other copies. Here.
38:27 Chris Ryan? Chris needs it.
38:28 Bill Simmons? Yeah. I thought that was ridiculous.
38:31 Speaker 02 Wait, so that's in rewatchable? We're just into ridiculous?
38:34 Bill Simmons? I'm just going through all the scenes. I like when she steals the envelope and dumb Claire doesn't realize it and has the asthma attack.
38:40 Chris Ryan? I like when she goes nuts in the bathroom stall.
38:42 Speaker 02 Oh, just ripping it up?
38:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah, and then she just starts banging shit with the plunger.
38:45 Speaker 02 Oh, the plunger.
38:46 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
38:46 Speaker 02 I'm like, that's evidence. Why would you leave all that evidence behind in the bathroom stall?
38:49 Chris Ryan? People could have totally heard that.
38:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:51 Chris Ryan? Claire's outside the door. She's like, yeah, the bathroom's right there. And she's like, good, because I have to destroy it.
38:56 Bill Simmons? She has two good freak out scenes. The second one near the end, when she's trying to break open the door. And DeMorn is just like.
39:04 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, the, her, her shining audition.
39:07 Bill Simmons? Yeah, she's really going nuts.
39:09 Speaker 02 Yeah. The poker, she's great with a shovel.
39:12 Chris Ryan? She learned all that in The Slugger's Wife.
39:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
39:15 Bill Simmons? This is in the running for most rewatchable. Good Slugger's Wife reference. Peyton, Peyton being mean to Solomon.
39:25 Speaker 02 That's mine. Are you, are you a retard?
39:30 Bill Simmons? Are you a retard?
39:30 Chris Ryan? He's like, no.
39:31 Speaker 02 And then the slap.
39:33 Bill Simmons? Did you like looking at me?
39:35 Speaker 02 That's, that scene is insane.
39:38 Bill Simmons? My version of the story will be better.
39:41 Speaker 02 1992.
39:43 Bill Simmons? It's really great. I love Solomon. It's really hurtful when she's that mean to him.
39:47 Chris Ryan? It's so fucked up, yeah.
39:49 Bill Simmons? It, it really ties in like.
39:51 Speaker 02 Just that line is an opener and you're just like, what movie am I watching?
39:55 Chris Ryan? Yeah, she's also like, that's more evidence of like, you were fucked up before your sexually abusive husband died. You know, like.
40:03 Bill Simmons? Right.
40:05 Bill Simmons? From this moment on, the movie is off the rails.
40:08 Speaker 02 I feel like I could tell by the amount of pipe railing that they had at their house that she was mentally unwell.
40:13 Chris Ryan? Yes.
40:13 Speaker 02 Before this all started.
40:15 Bill Simmons? The smoking date to plan the party, I put this in just for CR. Julianne Moore and Matt McCoy.
40:21 Chris Ryan? It's on.
40:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
40:23 Chris Ryan? It is on between Marlene and Michael.
40:25 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I think there might have been a, she might have blown him in the car.
40:28 Chris Ryan? I will say, I have never done that with another woman.
40:31 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
40:32 Chris Ryan? Like. Chain smoking at a bar late at night to plan my wife's birthday. Especially when your wife knows you only smoke with her. I know. Yes.
40:41 Speaker 02 And then he, he doesn't even like, like swish with some scope or something like that.
40:45 Chris Ryan? He gives her a double kiss.
40:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, double, double kiss when he got a cigarette mouth.
40:48 Chris Ryan? I've come home and I'm super excited, like, I'm all fired up from the bar and it's.
40:52 Speaker 02 From the blowjob in the car?
40:53 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
40:54 Speaker 02 Okay.
40:54 Bill Simmons? Well, he's also has a beard. Like, you gotta like, if you're hiding the smoking evidence after, you gotta go into the bathroom before you leave the bar.
41:02 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
41:02 Speaker 02 Wash your face.
41:03 Chris Ryan? You gotta do the Silkwood shower.
41:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I need, you gotta put stuff.
41:07 Bill Simmons? You have to.
41:08 Speaker 02 Thank you so much. I make that reference all the time and people look at me blankly.
41:11 Bill Simmons? He comes in, he's chewing gum, like, what's going on? Like, but no, he just comes right in, double kiss.
41:17 Chris Ryan? My wife likes to remind me of how like, my whole thing would be like, I'm gonna have this one cigarette before I go into like Easter dinner or anything important. It's just like, so that I don't have to go out afterwards or like in the middle of dinner. And she's like, then you would like, triple inhale like an entire Camel Light and come in and just smell like Mickey Rourke. And everybody would be like, Jesus Christ. This guy just rolled out of.
41:41 Speaker 02 And you're like, the party's here.
41:42 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
41:43 Bill Simmons? Well, Claire's somehow not threatened at all by Marlene or the nanny.
41:48 Speaker 02 Cause Marlene's a girl's girl, honestly.
41:50 Chris Ryan? Claire really only cares about plant life.
41:52 Bill Simmons? I don't know, but she's clear, she clearly has issues with that Marlene was the husband's first love. Right?
41:59 Speaker 02 Only because DeMornay's like stirring it up.
42:02 Bill Simmons? No, but even before that, I, come on, that's, it's, that's a whiff weird.
42:07 Chris Ryan? They seem like they used to be tight and now it's ones every like two months they see each other.
42:12 Bill Simmons? Definitely they had.
42:13 Chris Ryan? Life gets in the way.
42:13 Speaker 02 Life does get in the way. I do find that like the way that Julianne Moore comes in hot and she's like, this chick? Are you kidding me? Get her out of here?
42:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
42:22 Speaker 02 You know, and then in terms of like investigative journalism, Julianne Moore's on the case. So I kind of feel like she's, she's kind of a girl's girl.
42:28 Chris Ryan? She's like basically like the slightly nicer version of Peyton. So she's like game recognizes game. I know a crazy one.
42:35 Speaker 02 I love that. I love her.
42:37 Bill Simmons? To jump on those two points, Marlene's basically probably broke up with the husband, right?
42:42 Speaker 02 Oh, for sure.
42:43 Bill Simmons? So it's like they're buddies, but deep down she knows like that could have been my husband.
42:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, I just didn't want it.
42:49 Bill Simmons? I'm in the power seat.
42:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:52 Speaker 02 I didn't want a scientist.
42:54 Bill Simmons? Claire yell, oh, smoking date to plan the party into Peyton hitting on Michael at the, yeah. Claire yells at Michael with the surprise party happening in the next room. Unbelievable.
43:07 Speaker 02 Really tough.
43:08 Bill Simmons? Unbelievable.
43:08 Speaker 02 Everybody's here. Everybody's here.
43:10 Chris Ryan? Thing turns into curb for a second.
43:12 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:14 Bill Simmons? Greenhouse murder.
43:18 Bill Simmons? I love the apple eating.
43:20 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
43:21 Speaker 02 A green apple.
43:21 Bill Simmons? It's just like.
43:23 Speaker 02 That's how, that's how I eat a green apple.
43:26 Bill Simmons? Is it? Yeah.
43:27 Speaker 02 Yeah. I love green apples and that's how I eat them because.
43:29 Chris Ryan? Really?
43:30 Speaker 02 It's how my grandpa ate them and that's who taught me.
43:32 Chris Ryan? Whittle it like a piece of.
43:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, you carve it. Yeah.
43:34 Bill Simmons? Do you empty inhalers with the same orgasmic look on your face or no?
43:37 Speaker 02 I stopped to look at myself in the mirror and I just go, yeah, I'm doing it about to murder someone.
43:43 Bill Simmons? Emptying nine asthma inhalers.
43:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:46 Bill Simmons? Claire punches Peyton.
43:49 Speaker 02 Great. Right into the.
43:51 Bill Simmons? Pretty good right hook.
43:51 Speaker 02 Right into the dining room table.
43:53 Chris Ryan? Wife.
43:54 Bill Simmons? And then the big fight scene.
43:55 Chris Ryan? It's my family.
43:57 Bill Simmons? Lot of good attic fight scenes over the years.
43:59 Chris Ryan? Sure.
44:00 Bill Simmons? I don't know what your favorite one is, CR.
44:02 Chris Ryan? You know.
44:03 Bill Simmons? It's time we go in the attic, shit's going down.
44:04 Speaker 02 That's a niche genre.
44:05 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
44:06 Chris Ryan? Attic fight scene pyramid. Let's do it.
44:09 Bill Simmons? There's been some good ones. Sometimes somebody will just fall through the attic.
44:12 Chris Ryan? Fight in the attic of Home Alone, do they? I'm trying to think.
44:14 Speaker 02 Is there a fight in the attic of Money Pit?
44:16 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah.
44:18 Bill Simmons? What's your most rewatchable scene?
44:22 Chris Ryan? I think I'm going with Marlene's death. It's really like the way that she designs the greenhouse to collapse so that when the door opens and it's just awful, like getting showered with plate glass would be really, really a bad way to go.
44:38 Speaker 04 You think that would kill you?
44:40 Speaker 02 It depends, like, I was looking for a shard in, like, the jugular or something like that.
44:43 Bill Simmons? I had this later in picking.
44:45 Speaker 02 I think if she hunches down, like, if you give the ceiling your back, you can survive. But if, like, your neck's here and a shard hits you in the neck.
44:54 Chris Ryan? You remember a nice guy where he punches the glass and, like, his wrist is just exploding with blood? Like, imagine that times forty. I just don't know if the ceiling, the roof is high enough to create that much velocity to impale you like that.
45:05 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
45:06 Speaker 02 Oh.
45:07 Bill Simmons? I had it as my number one pick and knit. I don't think you'd die.
45:11 Chris Ryan? Well, it doesn't really matter because it's not like Peyton was gonna let her live.
45:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think if she was just dazed, she would have taken a shard and just, like, stabbed it in her neck anyway.
45:19 Bill Simmons? What Joe said is the right point. It should have been one of the shards, like, she's like this.
45:22 Speaker 02 Where the shards right at the neck or like.
45:24 Bill Simmons? She should have had a piece of glass sticking out of her neck.
45:26 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
45:26 Bill Simmons? Otherwise, you're just getting showered with blood.
45:28 Speaker 02 It's just like a genteel trickle of blood, like, out of her nose. Yeah, you can duck and cover.
45:32 Bill Simmons? It could cut your, like, what's that, leg artery that just, like?
45:35 Speaker 02 Femoral, femoral.
45:37 Bill Simmons? That could have been the other one. That's not my favorite scene. Mine is when she's mean to Solomon.
45:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:46 Bill Simmons? That scene's amazing. I just can't believe, there's just no way in 2026 they would have a scene like that. And I think it's so effective and so good.
45:55 Speaker 02 The Solomon character does not exist in 2020.
45:57 Bill Simmons? Yeah, and he's so, like, terrified.
45:59 Speaker 02 And she just slaps him. It's so good.
46:01 Bill Simmons? What's the most 1992 thing about this movie, Joanna?
46:04 Speaker 02 That a scientist could live in that house. So this is 808 North Yakima Street in Seattle. It's an actual place, and I looked it up on Zillow. Right now, it's 1.8 million dollars. And this guy's a scientist who does work with the EPA. Like, he's not living in that house.
46:20 Chris Ryan? Yeah, and he's still got a FedEx's own applications for stuff. So he's not on retainer anywhere.
46:25 Speaker 02 No.
46:26 Bill Simmons? Yeah, in real life, he's, they're living in an apartment and Claire is still working at the coffee house down.
46:31 Speaker 02 Right. Claire doesn't have a job. They're hiring live in work, you know, and like, I don't know what they're paying Solomon or if that's just like through the organization.
46:37 Chris Ryan? Charity thing.
46:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I'm just like, and, and they're hoping for more kids along the way. I'm just like, this is unreasonable and a science if he was in tech, maybe.
46:46 Chris Ryan? Yeah, it's Claire's big project being like, I'm gonna do some gardening is not really like the, the number one, like, well, I'm getting pulled away from my two kids here, you know, so we gotta get some childcare.
46:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, we gotta get a live at home.
46:57 Chris Ryan? Like, I think you could garden and keep an eye on the kids personally, but, you know.
47:01 Bill Simmons? What do you have for your 92?
47:03 Chris Ryan? Uh, chain smoking at work.
47:05 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
47:06 Chris Ryan? A little late for chain smoking at work, I think, but it is Marlene puffing away while she's like, what do you want to tip?
47:14 Speaker 02 She's so great.
47:17 Bill Simmons? I have a, I have six, seven things. Julianne Moore not playing the lead female role.
47:24 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
47:24 Bill Simmons? That could only have happened before like 1995.
47:27 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
47:27 Bill Simmons? Matt McCoy's hair beard combo.
47:30 Speaker 02 Elite.
47:31 Bill Simmons? Just specific to the early 90s. Also, same as the sleeping with the enemy guy that she falls for. Not that, not.
47:38 Chris Ryan? Laura!
47:39 Bill Simmons? Not that guy, but the other guy.
47:40 Speaker 02 The theater teacher.
47:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah, theater teacher.
47:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:42 Bill Simmons? It was this weird two year stretch where longer hair, little mullet, and then like a big bushy beard.
47:48 Chris Ryan? And kind of like a vague, I'm in the sciences.
47:51 Speaker 02 Very Dr. Quinn medicine woman of them, yeah.
47:54 Bill Simmons? Suitcases without wheels. She shows up carrying the suitcase. Uh, no references or no Googling of a nanny. I just think in 2026, no way. There's a Sony baby call at one point. I don't think they make those anymore, but I do think that was early 90s.
48:10 Chris Ryan? On to bigger and better things.
48:11 Bill Simmons? There's a lack of crest white strips in this movie that's really apparent. I'm just gonna go there. It's kinda mean.
48:17 Speaker 02 Julianne Moore especially.
48:18 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Julianne Moore, everybody in the movie.
48:19 Speaker 02 She got her teeth bleached after this movie, for sure.
48:21 Bill Simmons? This was an early 90s thing and then, uh.
48:23 Chris Ryan? Just in time for Jurassic Park 3 or whatever she was in, yeah.
48:26 Bill Simmons? And then going to the library.
48:27 Speaker 02 The Lost World, put some respect.
48:29 Bill Simmons? Going to the library to research news events.
48:31 Speaker 02 Microfiche. Microfiche is on my list, too.
48:33 Bill Simmons? This was, so.
48:34 Speaker 02 I love microfiche.
48:35 Bill Simmons? I remember senior in college and then grad school going to the library like a lot for shit like that. And two years later, you just didn't have to anymore.
48:43 Chris Ryan? The, uh, the, there's also like something to be said for how nice the FedEx looks that they go to.
48:50 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
48:50 Chris Ryan? Like, it's like a, like a pretty nice looking storefront, like, kind of counter that they've got there. But yeah, this is, this got some great.
48:59 Speaker 02 Microfiche and like enhance, enhance, enhance on the microfiche. Very good.
49:03 Bill Simmons? That was like, if you look through those long enough, you just started to go cross-eyed.
49:08 Speaker 02 I love a microfiche moment in a movie, like in Pelican Brief, I think they're in a microfiche. Like, that's always a great movie. Yeah.
49:14 Chris Ryan? Ninety-two Sonics won it.
49:17 Bill Simmons? That, that wasn't mentioned.
49:19 Chris Ryan? Okay.
49:19 Speaker 02 Hmm.
49:20 Bill Simmons? Um, when you see nineteen ninety-two movies, does it look like a better or a worse time for, to live?
49:26 Chris Ryan? Better. Which I think is kind of like all the rage now is to say that, but I do, I do think that there's like a. That's where the backroom started. That's right.
49:34 Chris Ryan? Eighty-nine earthquake. I think the feeling that they're like just right before the tech boom, internet in the nineties.
49:39 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it's simpler times.
49:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:42 Bill Simmons? The Floyd Gondole better butter on my ass and lollipops on my, my mouth award for something I just enjoy. I can't speak. What do you have?
49:50 Speaker 02 Julianne Moore being an unapologetic bitch in this movie. I just really loved it.
49:56 Bill Simmons? She's in character the entire movie and not wavering once.
49:59 Chris Ryan? Julianne Moore could have stolen my husband with one arm tied behind her back, but doesn't. Yeah, yeah.
50:03 Bill Simmons? What do you have?
50:04 Chris Ryan? That's it. Like Julianne Moore.
50:07 Bill Simmons? I have one, uh, it's really for CR.
50:11 Bill Simmons? People hiding their smoking habits in a movie. It's just so relatable. Fucking love it. When she pulls the cigarettes out at dinner and he's had two drinks and he's like, can I have one of those? It's like, oh, yeah.
50:23 Chris Ryan? But when she's like, he only smokes around you. I'm like, that's a fucking problem.
50:26 Speaker 02 That's tough. That's tough.
50:28 Bill Simmons? You're the fucking best. You bring it out of him.
50:31 Chris Ryan? And you know that they had like such a long fight about that going home.
50:34 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
50:35 Chris Ryan? So when she smokes, it's okay, huh? Like.
50:37 Bill Simmons? And then watching after with, like, we talked about that scene when he kisses her and it's clear she's been sm- like, just. All the machinations you have to do if you had smoke, but you don't want her to find out. And you're just watching it going, dude, just do this, this and this.
50:51 Speaker 02 This is where we have to give Peyton credit. She's a great improviser and she knows exactly. She lifted the lighter of all things, the lighter to put in his, his coat pocket.
51:01 Bill Simmons? Well, this leads us to a bonus smoking category, the Sean Penn, I brought my own pack award. Excellence on, on screen smoking combined with the Edie Falco and Copeland award.
51:12 Bill Simmons? For the character that got three times hotter by smoking. Julianne Moore, come on down.
51:16 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
51:17 Bill Simmons? You did great. Really felt like she was probably banging out two packs a day.
51:22 Chris Ryan? She got called up to the majors on this one.
51:24 Speaker 02 There's like a lot of ash on the one that she's smoking in the car. Also, again, her incorrect.
51:29 Bill Simmons? The no hands in the car is out of control.
51:31 Chris Ryan? Do you know what that character 100% has? A full car ashtray.
51:35 Bill Simmons? Oh, yeah.
51:36 Chris Ryan? It fucking reeks.
51:37 Speaker 02 Right next to her car phone.
51:39 Bill Simmons? No, what's, what's, what else she has is the glove compartment has three extra packs.
51:44 Chris Ryan? Yes.
51:44 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah.
51:45 Bill Simmons? Like she bought like six at the gas station.
51:47 Speaker 02 Super bright lipstick, just like on all the filters too. Lipstick on a cigarette filter.
51:52 Bill Simmons? Her disappointment of only having matches is great. Like she's, we've always talked about when you own a lighter. It's like the next, it's like moving in with your girlfriend, basically for smoking.
52:03 Speaker 02 You've committed. What about the cigarette case?
52:04 Bill Simmons? Matches is like they sleep over, but they just have a tip.
52:07 Speaker 02 Cigarette case, yeah.
52:09 Bill Simmons? Oh, cigarette cases. If you have a cigarette case and lighter, like you're just gonna be dead.
52:13 Chris Ryan? But if you have a lighter you like, and somebody's like, can I bum a light? You're like, I am watching you light it. And then I'm like putting my hand out to be like, we're not walking off with this one, you know?
52:21 Bill Simmons? What was the most expensive lighter you ever had?
52:23 Chris Ryan? I got a lighter for my birthday from like Anthropologie that was World War One, like trench style.
52:32 Bill Simmons? Oh.
52:32 Chris Ryan? So it had like a wind blocker. It was like a Zippo, but it was like really good for lighting in the wind.
52:37 Speaker 02 Yeah. I had an Art Deco one that sort of like slid back and the, the light came up out of the top.
52:43 Bill Simmons? Former smoker?
52:44 Speaker 02 Cloves only in true 90s fashion. And I did have a cigarette case.
52:48 Bill Simmons? I got an engraved lighter in the 90s from somebody once.
52:51 Chris Ryan? That's nice.
52:52 Bill Simmons? Lost it.
52:52 Chris Ryan? Did you ever have any like novelty, like naked lady lighters?
52:55 Speaker 02 Ooh.
52:56 Bill Simmons? No, I realized pretty early. Did not.
53:00 Speaker 02 Chris, did you?
53:02 Chris Ryan? How many? Like gas stations, ones where like her bikini would fall off as the lighter fluid went down?
53:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:08 Bill Simmons? I was always a matches guy.
53:08 Speaker 02 How old were you when you had that?
53:10 Chris Ryan? 22.
53:11 Speaker 02 Hell, yeah.
53:13 Bill Simmons? We always drew that face.
53:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
53:14 Bill Simmons? I just was always matches. What's age the best?
53:17 Chris Ryan? Could you do snap match? Could you, could you like?
53:20 Bill Simmons? Never like at that level.
53:22 Chris Ryan? Alright.
53:22 Bill Simmons? What's age the best? Evil nannies?
53:25 Speaker 02 Uh, sure. Evil nannies.
53:28 Bill Simmons? True crime has helped the evil nanny.
53:29 Speaker 02 Here's what I think.
53:30 Bill Simmons? Genre.
53:31 Speaker 02 I think now, especially having watched The Housemaid and other of the genre, we're really afraid to let women just be evil. And I think we should just let women be evil.
53:41 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
53:41 Speaker 02 It's fun. I think it's perfectly feminist to let women be evil.
53:45 Bill Simmons? I am in the camp of all types of people should get to be evil in movies without us having like think pieces about it.
53:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:52 Bill Simmons? Like, let's just get weird again.
53:53 Speaker 02 We've gone so far in the other direction that with like the house, spoiler to The Housemaid or Sirens, the Julianne Moore Netflix show that was horrible.
54:00 Bill Simmons? Horrible.
54:01 Speaker 02 We've like swung into, you think she's crazy, but actually it's the husband is the problem, you know? And it's just like, women can be evil. Women can do anything, including be evil.
54:13 Bill Simmons? What's age the best? Asthma wheezing?
54:18 Chris Ryan? It's a good central like Achilles heel for a character.
54:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:21 Chris Ryan? Asthma, yeah.
54:22 Bill Simmons? When do you want to do your asthma monologue, Craig? Later or now?
54:25 Chris Ryan? I can use it for my flex.
54:27 Bill Simmons? Okay.
54:27 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
54:29 Bill Simmons? It's good because it's like weakness. You feel like, you know, it's like the kryptonite of the character.
54:35 Chris Ryan? She can't take stress. You know what I mean? Like, but I'm like, I'm the iron lady. Like, these kids can't stress me out.
54:41 Speaker 02 Like, again, in the improvis- improvisation front, I've kill, okay, I had to waste my greenhouse trap on Julianne Moore. Oh, well. Okay, I can set this up now as a domino effect to still kill her anyway. Cause I've emptied all of her inhalers. And it's just like, what can't this woman do?
54:58 Bill Simmons? How, what was the threshold for an asthma attack for her? Like, if they were arguing about what movie to go do and she's like.
55:04 Chris Ryan? The FedEx thing is like a real like.
55:07 Speaker 02 FedEx plus a steep hill.
55:08 Chris Ryan? Does this, does this freak you out? Like, what, like, does life just make you have an asthma attack? Like, sometimes FedEx, you won't bring the envelope by accident.
55:17 Bill Simmons? Uh, I have a couple more. What do you have?
55:19 Chris Ryan? Just early 90s Seattle as a location, both in terms of its cultural relevance that wound up aging the best, but it just looks great. It's got great architecture, great topography for like your sand hills.
55:30 Bill Simmons? It feels like that one hill, that the FedEx Hill?
55:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:33 Bill Simmons? I feel like that hill's been in like 40 movies.
55:36 Speaker 02 It's right. It's like the bottom.
55:37 Bill Simmons? Was it the hill in The Vanishing where Jeff Bridges kills?
55:39 Chris Ryan? Oh, maybe.
55:40 Speaker 02 At the bottom of that hill, I believe, is where Pike's Place is. So it's just like right, like that downtown.
55:46 Bill Simmons? Maybe the best hill of all the hills to show that you're in Seattle. But I feel like there's been a bunch of stuff there.
55:51 Speaker 02 I was thinking about putting this in Apex Mountain because Singles is also 92 and Sleepless in Seattle is 93.
55:57 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
55:57 Speaker 02 So like Seattle's just like having its time.
56:00 Chris Ryan? And then music is going.
56:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:01 Chris Ryan? Xavier McDaniel is going.
56:03 Bill Simmons? Music's going. What's happening, CR?
56:04 Speaker 02 Why? Why do you think they did Gilbert and Sullivan instead of Grunge in this movie?
56:08 Chris Ryan? I don't know. That's the thing. It's like, you know that Michael is like, I think I might go see Soundgarden play.
56:13 Speaker 02 He's wearing flannel. He's ready.
56:15 Chris Ryan? It's the music box. Yeah.
56:17 Bill Simmons? I have, for what's aged the best, the horny husband friend that comes over and sees the nanny for the first time.
56:22 Chris Ryan? I have him.
56:23 Bill Simmons? It's a fucking staple of this movie.
56:25 Speaker 02 He's like, boy, yo, yoing.
56:26 Chris Ryan? Different category for this guy. Yeah.
56:28 Bill Simmons? He's just in heat. But they always have to do that in a movie where like somebody leave the room and the one guy will be the other guy. Whoa.
56:36 Chris Ryan? So I had him in Butch's Girlfriend. Do you think that it's realistic that Marlene would have such a simp as a husband? Or do you think it's like this is the guy that she is like kind of running?
56:46 Bill Simmons? Oh, I, I think that guy was super fun. I just think his scenes got cut out.
56:53 Bill Simmons? I think that guy was a fun hang. We just didn't, we just didn't get enough minutes with him.
56:57 Chris Ryan? Mr. Craven?
56:58 Bill Simmons? Yeah. I think that guy.
56:59 Speaker 02 Invite him over.
57:00 Bill Simmons? Because the thing is.
57:01 Speaker 02 To oggle your nanny.
57:02 Bill Simmons? He's, he's cool with Marlene and his buddy.
57:06 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:07 Bill Simmons? Which means he's cool. Like he, he just, he's amused by everything. So I think he was a good hang.
57:12 Chris Ryan? Happy hour starts at 3:45.
57:13 Bill Simmons? Hundred percent.
57:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:14 Speaker 02 But yeah, absolutely. She's running him. And absolutely she makes all the money in that relationship.
57:19 Bill Simmons? That guy had six Sonics tickets.
57:22 Chris Ryan? He's there on the ground floor.
57:24 Bill Simmons? He knew a guy from Sub Pop.
57:25 Chris Ryan? Of Ken Griffey Jr.
57:26 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that guy that's making shit happen in Seattle.
57:31 Bill Simmons? He knew the Griffys.
57:31 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:35 Bill Simmons? I also have a really good little girl performance.
57:37 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
57:38 Bill Simmons? Mad Ozeama's good in this movie.
57:39 Chris Ryan? She's great. And they give her a character. Like, she actually gets to have, like, influence on the plot.
57:44 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Any other what's aged you best for you?
57:46 Speaker 02 No.
57:47 Bill Simmons? Okay. Great Jack Gorder Award? I don't know, Sierra, what you got?
57:50 Chris Ryan? I like Ms. Mott stepping out from the bus. Like, when she sees the bus stop, and then she kind of just emerges from the side. It's such, so ominous. It's like, who would stop a school bus like that? But then she has, like, a little bit of the sugar going where she's like, thanks for stopping for me. But it's like, this is the devil just walked out.
58:09 Bill Simmons? I had, uh, when Claire finally passes out from the...
58:13 Speaker 02 Oh, and she's like flopping fish on the porch.
58:16 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it looks like she's dead.
58:18 Speaker 02 I have, um, I mean, I like the glass shattering, maybe because it made me fear greenhouses forever, but the glass shattering down from the greenhouse. But more importantly, when the dumb husband, Matt McCoy, goes downstairs and he's like, oh, it was just the alarm clock, like, no need to worry. And he comes up the stairs and she just, like, in her red cardigan, like, pops out from around the corner with the shovel and you get a little horror movie cue when she does it.
58:43 Bill Simmons? It's a good one.
58:44 Speaker 02 And then she just smacks him. It's great. I literally jumped.
58:47 Bill Simmons? He somehow breaks both his legs falling seven feet.
58:49 Chris Ryan? And Claire's kind of like, I'll deal with you later.
58:51 Speaker 02 Yeah. And then she's like, should we go see daddy? When everything's fine, she's like, let's go see daddy who's crippled in the basement. It's fine.
58:59 Bill Simmons? Big Kahunah Burger Award, best use of food or drink has to be the green apple.
59:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
59:04 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
59:05 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
59:07 Bill Simmons? Chess Rockwell Brocklanders Award for best character name, Marlene Craven?
59:11 Chris Ryan? I had Peyton Flanders.
59:12 Speaker 02 Peyton Flanders, preppy from hell.
59:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
59:14 Speaker 02 Peyton.
59:15 Bill Simmons? Marlene Craven?
59:18 Speaker 02 Peyton Flanders?
59:19 Bill Simmons? You want me to spell it for you?
59:23 Speaker 02 The number of times people in this movie go, Payden. I just think it's a great, it's a great name to shout.
59:28 Bill Simmons? Payden is a good name.
59:28 Speaker 02 Payden.
59:29 Bill Simmons? Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happyness, it's really just Pirates of the Penzance coming from the basement. I think would be the only thing.
59:34 Speaker 02 Penzance and Pinafore.
59:35 Bill Simmons? What do you have for Flexy R?
59:37 Chris Ryan? For the Billy Bats, Jacque, Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult. When your husband makes love to you, it's my face he sees. I got that same exact thing. You know what? This is basically what Sam Presti says to Sixers fans right now. Because McCain is in the three-guard rotation.
59:58 Chris Ryan? When your baby's hungry, it's my breast that feeds him.
1:00:02 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:00:03 Bill Simmons? Really some cutting insults.
1:00:04 Speaker 02 Incredibly good.
1:00:05 Bill Simmons? Butch's Girlfriend Award, weak link of the film. So.
1:00:09 Chris Ryan? I have Marty Craven.
1:00:11 Speaker 02 I don't know if this is a nitpick instead of a weak link.
1:00:14 Bill Simmons? He courtsized for the Sonics that year, though.
1:00:18 Chris Ryan? He's hanging out with Bezos and Gates.
1:00:21 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:00:21 Chris Ryan? I think we have a huge mission for this.
1:00:22 Speaker 02 I had to co-sign this. Marty Craven, get him out of here.
1:00:25 Chris Ryan? It could have been so much better.
1:00:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:27 Chris Ryan? Like even if they had Mel from 90210 switch roles with Marty.
1:00:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:00:33 Chris Ryan? And he's Marty Craven, right? Because he's in the beginning, the first scene with the.
1:00:37 Bill Simmons? That's the twin brother.
1:00:38 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:00:39 Bill Simmons? That's not, that's not Eddie and the Cruisers, that's his twin brother.
1:00:44 Chris Ryan? Oh, yeah, so this is part of the Eddie and the Cruisers IP then, you think?
1:00:48 Bill Simmons? Eddie and the Cruisers guy, his twin brother is in this movie.
1:00:53 Chris Ryan? Wait, really?
1:00:53 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Yeah, I have stuff coming on later for it.
1:00:56 Speaker 02 Wow.
1:00:57 Chris Ryan? Is he fucking with you?
1:00:58 Bill Simmons? No.
1:00:59 Chris Ryan? He's a twin brother.
1:01:00 Bill Simmons? It's a twin brother. Not the same guy.
1:01:02 Chris Ryan? Which guy is in?
1:01:03 Bill Simmons? Which is some guys from Jersey. Not the same guy.
1:01:06 Chris Ryan? Which one's in 90210?
1:01:09 Bill Simmons? Eddie and the Cruisers.
1:01:10 Chris Ryan? Okay. All right.
1:01:12 Bill Simmons? I have for Butch's Girlfriend. I did go in the male actor category, but not Marty Craven, who I actually enjoyed. Matt McCoy.
1:01:20 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:01:21 Bill Simmons? The Hereditary actor for a movie.
1:01:24 Chris Ryan? Wait a second. Matt McCoy took over for Gutenberg in Police Academy. He is a cinematic actor.
1:01:31 Speaker 02 He is a cornerstone of IP.
1:01:33 Chris Ryan? I think he's in Citizens on Patrol.
1:01:34 Bill Simmons? He's, they're like, we're filming.
1:01:36 Speaker 02 The Moscow based one?
1:01:38 Bill Simmons? We're filming an elevated Lifetime movie and he's just in a Lifetime movie. I, I just feel like.
1:01:43 Speaker 02 But that character just is nothing. It's a nothing character.
1:01:46 Bill Simmons? I know, but like, throw Alec Baldwin in there.
1:01:48 Speaker 02 There's only one woman for me.
1:01:50 Bill Simmons? Is it, but he should be, I don't know what he is. Is he a little hornier than he should be? A little less horny than he should be? Is he?
1:01:58 Speaker 02 You think he should be more tempted by?
1:02:00 Bill Simmons? I think he should be a little more tempted.
1:02:02 Speaker 02 A, a see-through nightgown? By a woman towel padding him dry?
1:02:06 Bill Simmons? Little more tempted, little more aware of the circumstances and, um, I just think he's like dorky.
1:02:12 Chris Ryan? So who would you put in?
1:02:13 Speaker 02 You would put Baldwin in.
1:02:15 Bill Simmons? I was thinking like Bill Pullman's probably the better version of this guy.
1:02:19 Speaker 02 Well, Bill Pullman would be less horny.
1:02:21 Bill Simmons? Right, but I'm saying if you're gonna go this direction, I would go Bill Pullman.
1:02:25 Speaker 02 You want Lone Star?
1:02:25 Bill Simmons? But I want like the, the husband that might get sucked into this. That's Baldwin.
1:02:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:02:30 Bill Simmons? I think it's like Malice Baldwin.
1:02:32 Speaker 02 Can I interest you in a Billy Baldwin?
1:02:34 Bill Simmons? You could. You could interest me in any Baldwin. You know, all the Baldwins.
1:02:37 Speaker 02 Daniel?
1:02:38 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:02:39 Speaker 02 Steven?
1:02:40 Bill Simmons? I'll take any Baldwin. I just thought Matt McCoy, I just, he didn't do it for me.
1:02:45 Speaker 02 Polaria Baldwin?
1:02:46 Bill Simmons? Polaria, maybe cut it off there. Um, Vincent Chase award for, are we sure this character was actually good at his or her job? I have Claire. You have one job. Protect the house. You let this psycho in.
1:03:02 Speaker 02 She's growing a lot of plants.
1:03:04 Bill Simmons? You let this psycho in who kills your best friend and does 20 things before you realize what's going on. Like, come on lady.
1:03:09 Chris Ryan? Uh, got a zag and say it's Michael as a husband and a father. First of all.
1:03:13 Speaker 02 Love it.
1:03:14 Chris Ryan? His reaction when she's like, my OBGYN sexually abused me is, I think we better report this. We better call it in. That guy's running that fucking guy over with his car and then he'll be like, let's see if there's like, so.
1:03:27 Bill Simmons? That's why we needed Alec Baldwin. He would've been fucking pissed.
1:03:30 Chris Ryan? He is fucking losing it the first second. And then second of all, like, he just basically is like, sounds like you guys got the house situation all taken care of. I'm going to the, to the lab for the rest of my life. Yeah.
1:03:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:03:43 Speaker 02 Um, can I zag again?
1:03:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:03:45 Speaker 02 And say-
1:03:46 Bill Simmons? Double zag.
1:03:47 Speaker 02 Did Solomon really build a great fence? If it broke to shit as soon as Rebecca Dimornay fell on it?
1:03:54 Bill Simmons? Oh, interesting.
1:03:55 Chris Ryan? Well-
1:03:55 Speaker 02 Is that a sturdy fence?
1:03:57 Chris Ryan? That's another Michael Demerit is like, pay for good construction. You know what I mean? Like, you're trying to get like, free labor out of like, the Better Days Foundation?
1:04:04 Speaker 02 I would rather-
1:04:05 Bill Simmons? He's charitable guy.
1:04:06 Speaker 02 I mean, she definitely needs to wind up impaled. But impaled on a still intact fence? That's, that would be my request from Solomon's Construction.
1:04:15 Bill Simmons? Well, it's age the worst. We mentioned Ernie Hudson playing a special needs character-
1:04:18 Speaker 02 I would take Solomon as a character.
1:04:20 Bill Simmons? Would not be flying in 2026. So, this movie's set in Seattle and it never rains?
1:04:26 Speaker 02 It rains all the time.
1:04:27 Bill Simmons? In this movie, it's like, twice. It's sunny and happy, like, over and over again.
1:04:31 Speaker 02 No, everyone's in like, rain, like-
1:04:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah, Seattle's depressing. It's why I didn't want to live there.
1:04:36 Chris Ryan? It's not.
1:04:37 Bill Simmons? It fucking rains there 270 days a year.
1:04:39 Chris Ryan? Don't yell at me.
1:04:41 Bill Simmons? It should be raining in this movie all the time.
1:04:43 Chris Ryan? Rain's expensive for movies.
1:04:46 Speaker 02 It is raining, like, it's pouring when she's in the hospital.
1:04:49 Bill Simmons? Bunch of park scenes?
1:04:49 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:04:50 Speaker 02 You don't think they go to the park in Seattle? I think they go to parks.
1:04:55 Bill Simmons? We lived in a movie in Seattle in the 07 range, and the rain statistics-
1:04:59 Speaker 02 Every time I've been there, it's been quite sunny and, and nice.
1:05:03 Bill Simmons? Really?
1:05:03 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:05:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:05:05 Bill Simmons? Michael not being mad at his wife for losing the FedEx plans?
1:05:10 Speaker 02 You think he should have taken a plunger and sort of beaten against the wall in his frustration?
1:05:14 Bill Simmons? He's like, no, no, it's fine. I'll get to it next quarter, it's fine, I'd like to do some work now. I just feel like he'd be a little more upset.
1:05:21 Chris Ryan? What's, so, he's applying for a grant of some kind?
1:05:24 Speaker 02 From the EPA, right?
1:05:25 Chris Ryan? Or he's like, a patent application or something, but he's waiting until deadline day?
1:05:30 Speaker 02 The last minute.
1:05:31 Chris Ryan? He's got a FedEx and he has no second cop-
1:05:33 Bill Simmons? She had her asthma attack all ready to go if he got really mad at her.
1:05:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:05:36 Bill Simmons? It's just like-
1:05:37 Chris Ryan? Oh, so you're saying she's-
1:05:39 Speaker 02 One hand on the inhaler.
1:05:40 Chris Ryan? Laying it on a bit thin.
1:05:41 Speaker 02 Oh, do you think he's afraid to yell at her, lest he trigger an attack?
1:05:45 Bill Simmons? Yeah, it was a-
1:05:45 Speaker 02 She's weaponized her asthma.
1:05:47 Bill Simmons? He's like, keep one job. You had your fucking, the FedEx thing's in your bag. You lost it? Like, I don't understand. How'd you lose it? Go back to the restaurant. This is my career. He's just like, yeah, dude, I'll get it together in three months.
1:06:00 Speaker 02 I don't know, I think the chilly passive aggressive disappointment is harder to take than an outburst of anger.
1:06:06 Bill Simmons? I didn't like that character.
1:06:08 Chris Ryan? How do you think Marty Craven would have reacted?
1:06:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:06:12 Chris Ryan? He would have been like, it's all right, I got Sonic tickets.
1:06:14 Bill Simmons? You could make it up to be the old fashioned way.
1:06:19 Bill Simmons? Also Peyton, there's only one woman for me. What did that even mean?
1:06:26 Speaker 02 I met my wife.
1:06:28 Chris Ryan? I like the fact that-
1:06:29 Bill Simmons? Fucking weird thing to say.
1:06:30 Chris Ryan? Peyton so tweet out that she actually takes that literally.
1:06:36 Speaker 02 My favorite-
1:06:36 Bill Simmons? As she's the woman.
1:06:37 Speaker 02 Peyton tweet out moment is, uh, I'll just get my baby. I mean my thing.
1:06:46 Bill Simmons? What else do you have for what's age the worst? Cause I have a couple more.
1:06:48 Chris Ryan? Letters of reference, certainly.
1:06:51 Bill Simmons? Need those.
1:06:52 Chris Ryan? Seattle real estate prices no longer are like that.
1:06:55 Speaker 02 Correct.
1:06:55 Chris Ryan? Um, and I couldn't decide whether to put this in picking nits, but I'll put it in what's age the worst. Cause when you watch the movie, you're like, this kind of takes me out. So when Claire pushes Peyton through the window in the attic, she is going full dead sprint to knock her through the window. And then throws on the brakes like prime Daryl Revis.
1:07:15 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:07:16 Chris Ryan? This is like an asthma patient. Like she is not that athletic, but she like puts her through a wall and then stops just to avoid going through the window. And is like at a standstill. It's just really physically unbelievable.
1:07:29 Bill Simmons? You have anything?
1:07:31 Speaker 02 I really think Solomon is the crowning achievement of this movie.
1:07:36 Bill Simmons? I have no nanny cams. Now you just have cameras all over the place for the psychopath that she, your greenhouse exploded and then she wanders out to make sure Marlene's dead. You would just have that on film. Um, big missed opportunity here. I didn't know, I almost put this in weak link. No pet for Peyton McCall?
1:07:57 Chris Ryan? There's, there's a dead cat somewhere in this.
1:07:59 Bill Simmons? Easy four minutes. So. Oh, where's Lucky?
1:08:03 Chris Ryan? No, there was-
1:08:03 Speaker 02 I think it's a dog.
1:08:04 Chris Ryan? You think it's a dog?
1:08:05 Speaker 02 That's a dog.
1:08:05 Chris Ryan? Or a dog. Emma, like, you know, or maybe-
1:08:09 Chris Ryan? Peyton like stages a fake dog bite and they're like, we have to put it down.
1:08:13 Speaker 02 We have to put it, well, that's Solomon. Solomon is the puppy of this movie.
1:08:16 Chris Ryan? And then Peyton blames Claire for putting the dog down. Yeah.
1:08:19 Bill Simmons? I just think it's an easy cat murder. Sorry, Joanna.
1:08:22 Speaker 02 That's okay.
1:08:23 Bill Simmons? I just think that's like, what happened to Lucky?
1:08:25 Speaker 02 You can kill all the imaginary, look, cats aren't named Lucky. Dogs are named Lucky.
1:08:30 Bill Simmons? Well, just, cats aren't named Lucky, says who?
1:08:34 Speaker 02 Everyone.
1:08:34 Bill Simmons? Okay.
1:08:35 Chris Ryan? Yeah. I've never heard of a cat named Lucky.
1:08:38 Speaker 02 That's a dog name.
1:08:40 Bill Simmons? I'm Googling this.
1:08:41 Chris Ryan? This is what you're Googling?
1:08:42 Bill Simmons? Yeah, I want to Google this now. Can cats be named Lucky?
1:08:50 Bill Simmons? Is Lucky a good name for a cat? Yes, absolutely. Lucky is a very popular cheerful, gender neutral name for cats.
1:08:57 Chris Ryan? Lucky the cat dot com telling you this.
1:09:00 Bill Simmons? Not listening to you guys.
1:09:01 Speaker 02 No.
1:09:02 Bill Simmons? Um, I think what happens is the cat always jumps on Claire's lap. And she, Peyton calls the cat over and the cat doesn't want to come over and then next scene is just dead.
1:09:11 Chris Ryan? It's gotta be something where, I think a dog would work because cats are already distrustful and mean, but a dog not liking Peyton.
1:09:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, barking at Peyton as soon as she shows up.
1:09:19 Chris Ryan? Exactly.
1:09:20 Speaker 02 Then she's got to silence the dog.
1:09:21 Bill Simmons? Easy extra five minutes.
1:09:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, a dog named Lucky.
1:09:24 Bill Simmons? I needed two more Seattle scenes and then, uh, the big one that we didn't mention is Emma's a little too competent. She's like seven.
1:09:33 Speaker 02 Oh, when she like hides, when she does the fake out with the baby.
1:09:36 Bill Simmons? Faking the baby out. She's locking doors. This kid's like seven.
1:09:39 Chris Ryan? Zoe and Ben for doing stuff like that.
1:09:41 Speaker 02 Did she pull the, uh, was the baby monitor gambit like her idea or, or just happenstance?
1:09:49 Chris Ryan? Oh, I, I, that would be above her.
1:09:51 Bill Simmons? I don't know. All of a sudden she's trying to outwit this lady.
1:09:54 Chris Ryan? I guess I never thought about that. That's a good point.
1:09:56 Bill Simmons? Hans Gruber scale for villain ranking?
1:09:58 Chris Ryan? Peyton's an 11. She's outstanding.
1:10:00 Speaker 02 She's fantastic.
1:10:02 Bill Simmons? Not higher than Hans Gruber.
1:10:05 Chris Ryan? Well, I mean, Hans Gruber is really just your common thief dressed up as a terrorist. Peyton seems really psychotic.
1:10:10 Speaker 02 How dare you?
1:10:13 Bill Simmons? I have her as a nominee.
1:10:13 Speaker 02 I think maybe if she had an inexplicable accent, she could be on Hans Gruber level, but she's one tier below.
1:10:20 Bill Simmons? Ruffalo Hannah Rubina Partridge over acting award? I had Marty Kraven for this one.
1:10:24 Chris Ryan? He's really dialing it up.
1:10:26 Bill Simmons? What do you got over there?
1:10:28 Speaker 02 I gotta say Ernie Hudson, but it's not his fault.
1:10:30 Chris Ryan? It's not his fault.
1:10:31 Speaker 02 It's not his fault. That's how the role was written, but it is a lot.
1:10:36 Bill Simmons? What do you have for a flex category?
1:10:38 Speaker 02 I'm just gonna keep trying to make fetch happen and say, my category is a cellphone would ruin this movie.
1:10:43 Chris Ryan? Yes.
1:10:44 Speaker 02 There's a car phone in this movie, but if Marlene could text Claire and say, hey, I've got some wind chime based clues for you here. Uh, I'm, I'm certain that your nanny's a killer, then, you know.
1:10:56 Chris Ryan? Gotta say also, answering machine would help.
1:10:59 Speaker 02 It would.
1:10:59 Chris Ryan? You know, it's like a lot of, like, when she finds the note that Marlene calls.
1:11:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:11:02 Chris Ryan? You know, it's like, Marlene being like, hey, it's Marlene. Peyton's a killer.
1:11:06 Speaker 02 Peyton's a killer, by the way.
1:11:08 Bill Simmons? Guess what? Dr. Mutt's widow is your nanny.
1:11:11 Speaker 02 Or like, she does manage to call 9, I mean, 911 comes despite her just gasping into the phone, but like, you know, if you're, I'm really curious about Asthma Corner. Like, do you have a Med Alert sort of system for that?
1:11:25 Bill Simmons? Craig's coming with that.
1:11:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:11:27 Chris Ryan? Right now?
1:11:28 Bill Simmons? No, we're gonna take a break.
1:11:30 Speaker 01 Low energy, unfocused, foggy, you might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body with a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration, no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist.
1:12:00 Speaker 05 When you shop Kroger delivery, you can expect the savings you love and fresh groceries delivered right to your door. From delicious produce to everyday essentials, enjoy the convenience of delivery and the trusted selection you've come to know from Kroger. Because bringing you fresh, quality groceries is what we do best. Right now, enjoy free delivery on orders of $50 or more with your digital coupon. Restrictions apply. See site for details. Kroger. Fresh for everyone.
1:12:30 Bill Simmons? The CR thinks Luke Wilson should have been Harrison Ford Award for the hottest take.
1:12:34 Chris Ryan? I want to get back to basics with this category.
1:12:39 Chris Ryan? Peyton's a pretty solid wife material. You know, like you have to take a long, hard look at it. Natural with kids.
1:12:46 Speaker 02 Chris.
1:12:47 Chris Ryan? Will stick up for them in the face of bullying.
1:12:49 Bill Simmons? Great looking.
1:12:50 Speaker 02 Chris.
1:12:50 Chris Ryan? She reads a room really well. You know, she sees, she can just see the landscape and definitely goes to extremes to protect her family. And I bet probably pretty good in bed. So.
1:13:02 Speaker 02 Dynamite in the sack.
1:13:05 Bill Simmons? I love it.
1:13:06 Chris Ryan? Just saying, if you're Michael.
1:13:07 Speaker 02 You're gonna wife her up?
1:13:09 Bill Simmons? I was wondering which one of us were gonna go with that she was a better wife than Claire.
1:13:14 Chris Ryan? I mean, she would have.
1:13:15 Bill Simmons? Why was Claire a good wife?
1:13:17 Chris Ryan? Back. She would, she would hold you down.
1:13:19 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:13:21 Speaker 02 Wow. It is the hottest take.
1:13:23 Bill Simmons? Was it her fault? Dr. Ma, maybe didn't turn out to be the ideal husband and coworker?
1:13:28 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:13:29 Bill Simmons? I like that one, CR. What do you have?
1:13:31 Speaker 02 Okay. So like, no matter what you do, even if you molest pregnant women, she'll stand by you.
1:13:34 Bill Simmons? She didn't know.
1:13:35 Speaker 02 She'll stand by you, right?
1:13:36 Bill Simmons? She didn't know.
1:13:36 Speaker 02 She'll stand by you no matter what you do.
1:13:38 Bill Simmons? True.
1:13:39 Chris Ryan? Well, I don't even think that she ever was able to publicly weigh in one way or the other on Dr. Ma. She's just more disappointed that she's lost the house and that the estate's being sued and she loses her baby. So that there's.
1:13:49 Bill Simmons? I had that in nitpicks too. Never seen like a.
1:13:54 Speaker 02 But when she says someone murdered my husband, I feel like, you know.
1:13:57 Chris Ryan? I think she's blaming Claire.
1:13:58 Speaker 02 Yeah. The implication is.
1:14:00 Bill Simmons? Super loyal to the husband.
1:14:00 Speaker 02 These allegations against my husband.
1:14:03 Chris Ryan? She is super loyal.
1:14:06 Bill Simmons? What do you have, Joe, in it?
1:14:07 Chris Ryan? Todd Fatt.
1:14:09 Speaker 02 I will. Women, I said already, women should be allowed to be crazy. In movies. I, I will say, maybe we've gotten too woke. That's what I'll say. The 2025 remake.
1:14:22 Chris Ryan? This is.
1:14:22 Speaker 02 Sucks.
1:14:23 Chris Ryan? Joe's breaking bad on us.
1:14:25 Bill Simmons? The 25 remake, which of course I watched every episode of was terrible.
1:14:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:14:29 Bill Simmons? And I don't really remember.
1:14:29 Chris Ryan? Wait, was it a show or a movie?
1:14:31 Bill Simmons? It's a Hulu show. It was bad.
1:14:32 Chris Ryan? Was it really?
1:14:33 Bill Simmons? Uh, Michael Malone.
1:14:34 Chris Ryan? No, Michael Monroe. Yeah.
1:14:35 Bill Simmons? Michael Monroe. Yeah.
1:14:36 Speaker 02 And Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
1:14:38 Bill Simmons? I have a really good hottest take. CR is gonna be jealous. This movie could have owned Gen X with like one tweak. Michael, the husband, instead of being a genetic engineer, should have been the head of some pop.
1:14:51 Bill Simmons? And we could add two extra scenes where they go to like, yeah, this new band Pearl Jam's, I gotta go and I'm gonna go with Marlene cuz she's.
1:14:59 Speaker 02 You think you're beating Peyton is marriage material and woke is bad from me?
1:15:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:15:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:15:09 Bill Simmons? We now dive into the Seattle grunge scene as we're in a nanny from hell movie.
1:15:13 Chris Ryan? You and me going into Netflix or Apple TV and be like, we have this new vision for, for Hand of Rocks.
1:15:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:15:19 Chris Ryan? Uh, you know, we've told this story twice from the perspective of women. We just feel like Michael and Marty really didn't get their fair shake.
1:15:26 Speaker 02 Let's bet to the men.
1:15:27 Chris Ryan? So here's Michael, you know, he, uh, he's been to every Pearl Jam show since they switched from Mookie Blaylock to Pearl Jam.
1:15:33 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:15:33 Chris Ryan? And then Marty is one of the great supporters of Seattle professional sports.
1:15:38 Bill Simmons? Marty.
1:15:38 Speaker 02 So does the Claire Payton plot happen in the background?
1:15:40 Chris Ryan? Yeah, it's just like our crazy wives.
1:15:43 Bill Simmons? Those guys were at the Last Mother Love Bone Show. It's really dramatic.
1:15:49 Bill Simmons? But you have instead of delivering the FedEx of his genetic material.
1:15:53 Chris Ryan? Somewhere, yeah.
1:15:54 Bill Simmons? It's the Pearl Jam tapes of ten.
1:15:56 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:15:56 Bill Simmons? It's the first one. Eddie gave these to me himself.
1:15:59 Chris Ryan? There's no other copy of ten.
1:16:00 Bill Simmons? There's no other copy. You have to bring this to FedEx.
1:16:03 Chris Ryan? Peyton's like fucking tearing him up.
1:16:05 Bill Simmons? And we just have the music from that era instead of Pirates of Penzance. This becomes the best movie of all time.
1:16:10 Chris Ryan? That would be amazing. If they were listening to like Rearview Mirror.
1:16:15 Speaker 02 The, the Gilbert and Sullivan is so weird to me in this movie because like.
1:16:19 Bill Simmons? I don't understand it at all.
1:16:20 Speaker 02 I mean, I was thinking about Sleeping with the Enemy cuz there is some like great like, uh, classical music in that movie, but he also just has Gilbert and, I presume it's him. He's the one who's like singing in the beginning. He has Gilbert and Sullivan posters all over his house. I'm like, get a second hobby.
1:16:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:16:36 Speaker 02 He's got one thing, which is.
1:16:38 Bill Simmons? Singing it when he's shaving his daughter. Yeah. He's a loser. I don't like that guy at all.
1:16:42 Speaker 02 Does that guy have to, does that guy have to shave his neck every day to get that line on the beard?
1:16:47 Chris Ryan? Like Remington, like, like, like stubble shavers.
1:16:50 Bill Simmons? By the way, he didn't need that much shaving cream just to shave like the bottom of his neck. Like, come on, dude.
1:16:55 Speaker 02 That guy has like, you know, some like nice lustrous hair and he keeps a sharp line, neckline on the beard. That's an everyday.
1:17:01 Chris Ryan? What if that's what his like genetic science stuff is? It's like neck beards. I'm not only the president, I'm a customer.
1:17:08 Bill Simmons? He created the box five.
1:17:10 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:17:11 Speaker 02 Just blocks these follicle, hair follicles.
1:17:13 Bill Simmons? Casting what ifs, we mentioned that they tested for the opposite parts before they landed on Claire and Mrs. Mott. Cybill Shepherd turned down the role of Peyton.
1:17:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, for her feminist ideals.
1:17:23 Bill Simmons? Yeah, um, this was end of moonlighting.
1:17:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, she should have done this.
1:17:28 Bill Simmons? She definitely should have. She should have, and I'm glad she didn't.
1:17:30 Speaker 02 She really should have done this.
1:17:30 Chris Ryan? Cybill and Rebecca, like if Rebecca had played Claire and Cybill was Peyton, that would have been.
1:17:36 Speaker 02 But you have two blondes in one movie?
1:17:38 Chris Ryan? I don't know.
1:17:39 Speaker 02 I think it's illegal.
1:17:41 Chris Ryan? Legally blonde.
1:17:42 Bill Simmons? Allegedly Rosanna Arquette was involved with Peyton. I don't know if I believe that. I couldn't find second source for it.
1:17:48 Chris Ryan? Similar look.
1:17:49 Bill Simmons? Instead, she played that, uh, your wife with the shit on her face. Is that that lady with the shit on her face? Uh, and then they thought about, they tested Christopher McDonald and Kevin Spacey for Michael. And thank God Kevin Spacey is in this movie because that would have absolutely ruined the rewatchability.
1:18:08 Speaker 02 I don't know. We, we did working girl. We navigated.
1:18:12 Bill Simmons? No, I just feel like him as a genetic scientist trying to fend off Rebecca DeMornay.
1:18:17 Chris Ryan? He would have been good as Marty though.
1:18:18 Bill Simmons? He would have.
1:18:19 Speaker 02 Christopher McDonald would have been good as Marty.
1:18:20 Chris Ryan? Christopher McDonald would have been good with Marty.
1:18:22 Bill Simmons? Best that guy award?
1:18:24 Chris Ryan? John Delancey.
1:18:25 Speaker 02 John Delancey, Q from Star Trek.
1:18:27 Bill Simmons? Can I offer you Matthew Lawrence's twin brother, Mitchell?
1:18:30 Chris Ryan? Yes, you can.
1:18:34 Bill Simmons? Uh, in one scene as Laura, but yeah, John Delancey.
1:18:36 Chris Ryan? Is Mitchell Lawrence like also a TV sports radio host now?
1:18:39 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:18:40 Chris Ryan? Is he?
1:18:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Mitchell had the more interesting stuff for our purposes, but I think, uh, Matthew, or no, Mitchell was, Matthew is the one that was in Eddie and the Cruisers, not in 200.
1:18:52 Chris Ryan? And is now a sports radio host, right?
1:18:54 Bill Simmons? Mitchell was his brother.
1:18:55 Chris Ryan? Okay.
1:18:57 Bill Simmons? We're just some guys from Jersey.
1:18:59 Chris Ryan? How do you, how do, like, twins, twin, twins who act, like, that must be really contentious. It's not like the Morris Twins where you can just.
1:19:06 Speaker 02 Jeremy and Jason London. There's always a better one, right?
1:19:10 Chris Ryan? It works when you're children, like the Olsen twins.
1:19:12 Bill Simmons? Sure.
1:19:12 Chris Ryan? But once you get older, then what? Yeah, they had a lot of, there's a bunch of babies playing the little baby.
1:19:16 Bill Simmons? Didn't really work for the Olsen twins because now they're like just.
1:19:19 Speaker 02 The Ashmore twins?
1:19:22 Bill Simmons? Yeah, they don't smile.
1:19:23 Chris Ryan? I mean, how often do you see the Olsen twins?
1:19:25 Bill Simmons? Picture I see them, like.
1:19:28 Chris Ryan? That's your Olsen twin?
1:19:29 Bill Simmons? Have you seen my roof face?
1:19:32 Speaker 02 From Euphoria? You know what? That's pretty good.
1:19:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah, good job.
1:19:36 Speaker 02 It's pretty good. But can you give the double Mary Care smirk? Can you do that?
1:19:41 Bill Simmons? I can't.
1:19:42 Speaker 02 Can you do the let's go do drugs smirk that she does?
1:19:45 Bill Simmons? Uh, Dionne Waiters award, go to town, Ciara.
1:19:48 Chris Ryan? I mean, it's one of the best ones we've got. Like, this is what, three scenes? She basically shows up at the house, eyeballs her, goes to dinner, goes to the bar with Michael, and then gets axed out. But...
1:19:59 Bill Simmons? It's in the Female Dionne Waiters Hall of Fame.
1:20:01 Chris Ryan? It's a nothing part that she imbues with so much character, just with all of her gestures and all of her little, like...
1:20:07 Speaker 02 Teeth alone.
1:20:08 Bill Simmons? And shortcuts is this year or the next year?
1:20:11 Chris Ryan? Uh...
1:20:11 Bill Simmons? This is right around...
1:20:12 Chris Ryan? It's right around.
1:20:13 Bill Simmons? And then she's in fugitive and gets cut out. But this is Julianne Moore's starting to happen.
1:20:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:20:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:20:17 Chris Ryan? Also, I would say this, I was gonna bring this up a little bit later, but we can see the foundation of Linda Partridge here.
1:20:25 Chris Ryan? We can see a little Don't Call Me Lady.
1:20:26 Speaker 02 I've been, I was, I was waiting for that.
1:20:29 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:20:29 Speaker 02 Do you wanna, do you wanna hit me with the Don't Call Me Lady? No, just like...
1:20:33 Bill Simmons? Ciara's better.
1:20:34 Speaker 02 Don't Call Me Lady!
1:20:39 Speaker 02 A little more waver in your voice.
1:20:43 Bill Simmons? Recasting couch, director, or city?
1:20:48 Speaker 02 I think I love that, I love the Seattle-ness of this movie.
1:20:52 Chris Ryan? It's really the perfect place.
1:20:53 Speaker 02 But I also wouldn't mind, like, a sweaty New Orleans version of this.
1:20:56 Chris Ryan? Sweaty New Orleans is great, much more erotic. We'd need, we'd need Michael and Marty to really step up there. But just because we've done Boogie, uh, Basic Instinct recently, I wouldn't mind 92 San Francisco. Although, I wonder whether San Francisco, it would have just been a little bit more like, you know, this is a bigger city, let's check some references, let's, like, make sure this nanny isn't...
1:21:19 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, there's two naivens here.
1:21:23 Bill Simmons? I have, uh, Boston, but specifically Charlestown.
1:21:29 Bill Simmons? Hey, Claire, you got... Gotta take care of that fucking nanny, I keep telling you.
1:21:32 Speaker 02 What does Peyton tell my, how do you say Peyton in a Boston accent?
1:21:36 Speaker 04 Peyton.
1:21:37 Speaker 02 It's just the same.
1:21:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:21:38 Bill Simmons? Well, the, the best one would be, uh, shut up, Marlene.
1:21:44 Bill Simmons? Stay out of our affairs.
1:21:48 Bill Simmons? The Boston part.
1:21:48 Speaker 04 Can you imagine Marlene smoking Parlements being like, ah, I'm showing an apartment over in the fins.
1:21:57 Bill Simmons? They're at Sully's Pub trying to figure out the surprise party.
1:22:02 Bill Simmons? We can't tell her. Hey, if you give him a thousand dollars, Cam Neely will come by and say hi.
1:22:11 Bill Simmons? Craig, what do you have for a flex?
1:22:13 Speaker 04 I'm gonna go with the Marion Cabretti pizza cutting award for why didn't anyone on set stop this? As somebody who had seasonal asthma as a kid and had an inhaler, the way they depict Claire using an inhaler in this movie is offensive to people with asthma. She, i- it is a, a light spritz of air.
1:22:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, and she open mouths it.
1:22:31 Speaker 04 She doesn't even touch it to her lips and she's immediately recovered, which is not how it works.
1:22:36 Bill Simmons? There was no asthma consultant at all, cause she's like.
1:22:38 Speaker 02 Yeah, you gotta wrap your mouth.
1:22:39 Speaker 04 She treats it like it's fucking breath spray.
1:22:41 Speaker 02 You gotta create a seal.
1:22:42 Speaker 04 You, you gotta, it's a deep inhale.
1:22:44 Bill Simmons? She thinks it's Bonaka.
1:22:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, she does think it's Bonaka.
1:22:47 Speaker 04 It takes a while, like it takes five, 10 seconds and you're doing multiple puffs. She, that thing is three inches from her mouth, like it's, like it's listerine.
1:22:53 Bill Simmons? Would asthma kick in when you were stressed out lately?
1:22:56 Speaker 04 That's real. Not, mine was more just like because of allergies, like running would be hard, but I think that was a thing.
1:23:01 Bill Simmons? The hay fever.
1:23:02 Speaker 02 Did you have inhalers like stashed all around the house?
1:23:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, I never really had attacks like this, but I had an, I would just have a inhaler I would take regularly from like March to June. But I, that is a thing where stress induces asthma attacks. But i- i- an embarrassing use of it in this movie.
1:23:20 Bill Simmons? The, the asthma spray-ish scenes.
1:23:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, when she's like.
1:23:24 Bill Simmons? Are some of the dumbest things that have ever been captured on film. And I can't, it's not like only a couple of people have asthma. Like, a lot of people use inhalers.
1:23:32 Chris Ryan? Just nobody involved in this movie.
1:23:34 Bill Simmons? It's just fucking bizarre that they chose to play it that way.
1:23:36 Speaker 04 Also, her asthma just goes away in the last scene, Claire. She's about to die and then gets up, tackles.
1:23:41 Speaker 02 Oh, she's faking.
1:23:41 Bill Simmons? It's just the wrestling work.
1:23:43 Chris Ryan? Oh, that's a.
1:23:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:23:44 Bill Simmons? Yeah, because they show the little kid. And the little kid's like, oh, I know. Because that little kid is smart at all times.
1:23:50 Speaker 02 Yeah. That's why, it's part of why the asthma runner is there. So at the end, she can like pretend to have it and then just.
1:23:56 Bill Simmons? Yeah, if they remade this movie now, the little kid would be on a device all the time. It would be completely useless when it came time to being resourceful.
1:24:02 Speaker 02 Are you saying a cellphone would ruin this movie? I agree.
1:24:05 Bill Simmons? Wait, hey, you gotta take that kid to the third floor.
1:24:07 Speaker 04 Throw your iPad at her.
1:24:10 Bill Simmons? Half faster internet research. You mentioned it was Amanda Silver's film school thesis.
1:24:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:24:17 Bill Simmons? Film was shot in location, mostly Seattle, Tacoma.
1:24:23 Bill Simmons? Really wasn't a lot of good research, except for Mrs. Mott visits Michael's workplace. And it was filmed in Redmond, Washington, at the Biotechnics Laboratories, which was demolished two years later to make room for the expansion of Microsoft.
1:24:37 Chris Ryan? I also really like in that lab scene where like Michael's assistant's like, hey, like really hot, hot woman.
1:24:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:24:43 Chris Ryan? He's like, that's my nanny.
1:24:45 Speaker 02 How dare you?
1:24:45 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:24:47 Bill Simmons? Apex Mountain, DeMornay, would you go this or Risky Business?
1:24:51 Speaker 02 Risky Business, I would say.
1:24:53 Bill Simmons? It felt like she was gonna be one of the biggest stars in the world after Risky Business.
1:24:56 Chris Ryan? Sure.
1:24:58 Bill Simmons? Matt McCoy, I'm gonna say yes.
1:25:00 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm, sure. Inhalers.
1:25:03 Bill Simmons? Inhalers in a movie, I think yes. Yeah.
1:25:06 Chris Ryan? How about cinematic breastfeeding?
1:25:10 Chris Ryan? This or Barbarian? Why don't you pull out your lift?
1:25:16 Speaker 02 Season two of American Horror.
1:25:17 Bill Simmons? If Sean was here, he'd be like, tell us more, CR.
1:25:20 Chris Ryan? No, Sean would be like, actually, you're forgetting Michelangelo. La Notte.
1:25:27 Bill Simmons? They do, feels like, uh, there's two scenes where it is like a, how did they do this? With the breastfeeding.
1:25:34 Chris Ryan? What do you mean?
1:25:35 Bill Simmons? Cause it's a real baby. We didn't have the CGI back then. And it seems like it's an actual breastfeeding situation, but there's no way like Rebecca de Mornay was breastfeeding a baby.
1:25:45 Speaker 02 On her nipple.
1:25:46 Bill Simmons? Put it, but probably something over her.
1:25:48 Chris Ryan? It was a doll.
1:25:49 Bill Simmons? And the baby next to her. No, but the baby was moving.
1:25:51 Chris Ryan? But don't they have like dolls to like show women how to do it in the first place? Like to be like, this is like.
1:25:56 Speaker 02 But that technology, I don't think was that advanced in 92. What about like a merkin, like a boob merkin?
1:26:01 Bill Simmons? That's probably what it was.
1:26:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:26:03 Bill Simmons? Ernie Hudson, no. Evil nanny.
1:26:07 Bill Simmons? Flat, no.
1:26:08 Chris Ryan? One of the all time conversational topics, which is.
1:26:11 Bill Simmons? Evil nanny movies?
1:26:13 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:26:14 Bill Simmons? Yes. Greenhouses in a movie has to be yes, right?
1:26:19 Speaker 02 Yes.
1:26:19 Bill Simmons? What's a better greenhouse?
1:26:20 Chris Ryan? You seriously haven't been in a greenhouse?
1:26:21 Speaker 02 I seriously have not been in a greenhouse.
1:26:23 Chris Ryan? Would you go to a botanical garden?
1:26:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, but not, but then usually there's like a.
1:26:26 Chris Ryan? Outdoor area.
1:26:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, there's a spot in the botanical garden that has a greenhouse and I will not go in it.
1:26:30 Bill Simmons? I really want to test this out.
1:26:31 Speaker 02 I will not go in it.
1:26:32 Bill Simmons? Seattle, yes. 92, 93. This is it. We're in the apex.
1:26:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:26:37 Bill Simmons? Julianne Moore, no. Asthma attacks in a movie, maybe.
1:26:40 Speaker 02 A crisp.
1:26:41 Bill Simmons? Curtis Sansom, no.
1:26:42 Speaker 02 Oxford button all the way up.
1:26:46 Chris Ryan? Hmm, yeah.
1:26:47 Speaker 02 She just owns that look in this movie.
1:26:51 Bill Simmons? Cruise or Hanks?
1:26:54 Speaker 02 So it should be Hanks, right?
1:26:56 Bill Simmons? It's Hanks.
1:26:57 Speaker 02 But wouldn't it be fun to have Cruise and de Mornay back together again?
1:27:01 Chris Ryan? Wouldn't it be fun if, if, what do you mean, like Cruise playing Dr. Ross?
1:27:03 Bill Simmons? Cruise as Matt McCoy?
1:27:06 Chris Ryan? One scene Cruz is Dr. Mott.
1:27:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:27:09 Chris Ryan? Taking the glove off.
1:27:10 Speaker 02 Taking the glove off. I'll take care of it.
1:27:14 Chris Ryan? Why didn't you let her know about her test results?
1:27:15 Speaker 02 That's what Cruz needed in 92.
1:27:17 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:27:18 Speaker 02 92 Cruz is definitely needing to do this, not far and away.
1:27:21 Chris Ryan? Prepping for Eyes Wide Shut.
1:27:22 Bill Simmons? Could Cruz have been Solomon?
1:27:24 Chris Ryan? Oh, my God, Bill.
1:27:26 Bill Simmons? Is there running? I was trying to think of how Cruz could run.
1:27:29 Speaker 02 What a cursed concept.
1:27:31 Bill Simmons? Cruz is as the dad. There's no running though. He turns this movie down. It's gotta be Hanks.
1:27:38 Speaker 02 It is Hanks.
1:27:39 Bill Simmons? We got rid of Scorsese or Spielberg after doing it with Spielberg.
1:27:42 Chris Ryan? If Marty comes on the pod, will you bring him back?
1:27:45 Speaker 02 Bring him back, okay.
1:27:47 Bill Simmons? Re-adding, was there a better title for this movie? A category we used to have, and I have no idea why we got rid of it.
1:27:54 Speaker 02 No, this title rules.
1:27:55 Bill Simmons? I think this title is the right title.
1:27:57 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:27:58 Bill Simmons? Right?
1:27:58 Speaker 02 It's very memorable. It absolutely rules.
1:28:01 Bill Simmons? Picky Knits.
1:28:04 Bill Simmons? I have like 10.
1:28:05 Chris Ryan? I'll just go with my biggest one, which is how the fuck do they not know what Mott's wife looks like? If an OBGYN did what he did to my family, I would be like, I'm going to the trial.
1:28:17 Speaker 02 Well, first you run him over with your car.
1:28:19 Chris Ryan? First run him with your car. But if that didn't work out, like I would be very engaged with what this guy was about. And I think I would know somehow what his wife looked like.
1:28:30 Bill Simmons? Also, this would be the biggest story in Seattle for like two weeks.
1:28:33 Speaker 04 Also, the local news showing Claire's face?
1:28:36 Chris Ryan? This is a huge one.
1:28:38 Bill Simmons? I had that too.
1:28:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, here's this woman that called out this creep. Here's her face if anybody wants to see it in the hospital while.
1:28:44 Bill Simmons? It's actually a rule that you can't do that.
1:28:46 Speaker 02 You can't use their name either. Yeah.
1:28:48 Bill Simmons? But they're like, coming up, Claire Bartel accuses a dead doctor.
1:28:53 Speaker 04 I'm gonna tell you why Claire Bartel might be wrong.
1:28:58 Bill Simmons? It's crazy that they.
1:28:59 Speaker 04 Here's where she lives.
1:29:00 Bill Simmons? Uh, we mentioned no background checks. Also, just these, see, you're with your nanny a lot. At no point is Claire doing the, uh. So what happened to your husband?
1:29:14 Chris Ryan? Dude, what, why?
1:29:15 Bill Simmons? Like just.
1:29:15 Chris Ryan? Why does Peyton make it so complicated? Peyton could just be like, yeah, I just got here from Cleveland divorced.
1:29:21 Speaker 02 Well, she wanted to say my husband was murdered by you, you know?
1:29:25 Bill Simmons? A couple of days after my baby, it's like, what?
1:29:31 Bill Simmons? Before or after? Who died first? Why did the baby die?
1:29:36 Speaker 02 She, yeah.
1:29:37 Chris Ryan? Husband died first in real life, yeah.
1:29:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:29:39 Bill Simmons? And then she's like, he was murdered.
1:29:41 Speaker 02 She miscarried, yeah.
1:29:41 Bill Simmons? I want, I want my revenge.
1:29:46 Bill Simmons? Okay.
1:29:48 Bill Simmons? Well, revenge on what? What are you gonna do? I, I don't know, I just had a lot of questions on that.
1:29:55 Bill Simmons? Peyton beating up the school, Billy? I'm guessing would probably get reported to the principal and maybe.
1:30:01 Speaker 02 Again, it was 1992, there was no one supervising us on the block.
1:30:05 Bill Simmons? There's like 10 witnesses, there's people in different parts of the playground.
1:30:08 Chris Ryan? All the kids are like this crazy blonde, almost yanked off's arm out of its socket.
1:30:11 Speaker 04 One kid's like, fuck yeah.
1:30:14 Speaker 02 A sexual fantasy was born.
1:30:15 Speaker 04 The kid with hair in those arms is like, nice.
1:30:18 Bill Simmons? This is my wife's biggest one. So one of the times he goes down, when, uh, our guy Matt McCoy's getting a little horny.
1:30:25 Speaker 02 Say more.
1:30:26 Bill Simmons? And Rebecca Demornay is picking up ice cubes.
1:30:31 Speaker 02 Right, in her see-through nightie.
1:30:33 Bill Simmons? In her see-through nightie? Putting them back in the tray and then putting the tray back in the freezer?
1:30:38 Chris Ryan? Yes, this is a great call.
1:30:39 Bill Simmons? What the fuck is going on?
1:30:40 Speaker 02 This is a great call.
1:30:41 Chris Ryan? Do you think it's like?
1:30:42 Bill Simmons? Who wants ice cubes that were just on the floor?
1:30:44 Chris Ryan? Does he see that they've been on the floor, that she's put them back away, or is she just like?
1:30:47 Bill Simmons? He's watching it, but he's looking at the nightgown, I'd be looking at the fucking ice cubes.
1:30:50 Chris Ryan? You'd be like, don't put those back in there.
1:30:52 Bill Simmons? Yeah, what are you doing? People walk on that floor, Peyton.
1:30:56 Speaker 02 Do you think the entire ice gambit was, like?
1:31:00 Bill Simmons? Just making noise?
1:31:01 Speaker 02 Executed to lure him down there?
1:31:02 Chris Ryan? Yes.
1:31:03 Speaker 02 How can she know that he would come down and not Annabelle Ciara?
1:31:06 Chris Ryan? I guess she's like, well, if, if Claire comes down, I'll just be like, my bad, dropped something.
1:31:10 Bill Simmons? Again, this is.
1:31:11 Speaker 02 In the see-through nightgown, that I always wear.
1:31:12 Bill Simmons? I'm right here to consult in these movies. This is where he drinks decaf at night, cause it keeps him up. Doesn't want to get kept up and she switches the coffee, so he'll stay up at night and come down.
1:31:23 Speaker 02 Diabolical.
1:31:24 Chris Ryan? Another nitpick that we've kind of alluded to is, uh, the last shot of this movie is like Claire and Solomon being like, we did it, good job. Where the fuck is Michael? He's like in agony, like Joe Theis.
1:31:38 Speaker 02 Crying in the basement. Maybe trying to like crawl up the stairs in the basement. Um, what about this, this wind chime clue?
1:31:47 Chris Ryan? Oh my god.
1:31:48 Bill Simmons? Well, then she goes over the top with the painting the baby room the same way.
1:31:53 Speaker 02 Well, the turtles is one thing.
1:31:54 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:31:54 Speaker 02 And again.
1:31:55 Chris Ryan? But Julianne Moore spots the wind chimes.
1:31:57 Speaker 02 Julianne Moore, like via magnifying glass, spots a solitary wind chime and is like, I've seen that. It's your bog standard wind chime. That's what all wind chimes look like.
1:32:07 Bill Simmons? She's good at her job.
1:32:08 Speaker 02 Absolutely not. I don't know if it's because I grew up in the Bay Area where like, there's just a lot of wind chimes going on, but I wouldn't be like, well, that wind chime clearly someone else's. I do love that she's like, what the fuck is that ugly thing? When she walks in.
1:32:19 Bill Simmons? Well, how about, how about Peyton leaves the breast pumps behind in the old house? Just gonna leave some stuff back here, including all my breast pumps.
1:32:29 Chris Ryan? That makes no, isn't that how staged and being, you know, it's being shown?
1:32:33 Bill Simmons? Wouldn't they have cleared out the breast pumps?
1:32:34 Chris Ryan? Sure.
1:32:34 Bill Simmons? People sold the house.
1:32:35 Chris Ryan? I think it's like, it's a cool nursery. Check out how you could use it as a nursery.
1:32:39 Bill Simmons? Check out these funky breast pumps.
1:32:41 Speaker 02 Also, for all the guys in the room, when that guy's like, what kind of weird toy is that? Like, is that not the dumbest shit you've ever heard?
1:32:52 Bill Simmons? We mentioned this earlier, but the dad broke his legs falling seven feet.
1:32:57 Speaker 02 Not even, it was like five feet.
1:32:58 Bill Simmons? Both of them?
1:32:59 Speaker 02 Both legs?
1:33:01 Bill Simmons? Like just shit.
1:33:02 Chris Ryan? And he gets hit in the face with a shovel, but his face is fine, right?
1:33:06 Bill Simmons? It's like Claire.
1:33:06 Speaker 02 No, it's a little fucked up.
1:33:07 Chris Ryan? It's a little damaged.
1:33:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's a little fucked up.
1:33:08 Bill Simmons? Claire, my legs are broken.
1:33:11 Chris Ryan? Both of them?
1:33:12 Bill Simmons? Both, both legs.
1:33:13 Speaker 02 You gotta take the rest of this movie. I'm useless, I've been useless this whole movie and I'll remain useless till the very end.
1:33:19 Bill Simmons? They needed one extra scene where they're just pushing around in the wheelchair and he's got these two giant gasps.
1:33:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:33:24 Bill Simmons? Claire has asthma from the wheelchair.
1:33:25 Chris Ryan? I'll be in Peyton's bed, Claire.
1:33:27 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:33:28 Chris Ryan? I'll be waiting. This is the opportunity that it's like Marty is pushing him in the wheelchair. He's like, you know what? You and me, we could move in together.
1:33:37 Chris Ryan? I got plenty of room now that Marlene's dead.
1:33:40 Bill Simmons? There's a couple of moments, couple of moments when, uh.
1:33:45 Bill Simmons? It's clear it's a doll and not a baby.
1:33:47 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:33:48 Bill Simmons? And then, this is my biggest one. Well, they're tied together. We already talked about whether the greenhouse would have killed Marlene or not. I say no.
1:33:58 Speaker 02 Not without, you know.
1:34:00 Bill Simmons? Who's the prime suspect in Claire's death, or in Marlene's death?
1:34:04 Chris Ryan? Isn't it just an accident?
1:34:04 Speaker 02 It's an accident.
1:34:06 Bill Simmons? Is it?
1:34:06 Speaker 02 It's a greenhouse accident.
1:34:08 Chris Ryan? Okay. Greenhouse construction by Claire. If anything, she should feel guilty about it.
1:34:12 Bill Simmons? Okay, the police call, hey, we're just gonna check out Claire for a second.
1:34:17 Chris Ryan? Not acquitting themselves.
1:34:18 Speaker 02 That guy just wandered into a crime scene. When that cop opens the greenhouse door, just wanders in, I'm like, uh.
1:34:24 Bill Simmons? What's your history with Claire? Cause we heard you had a moment at your surprise party a month ago where you were yelling at your husband. Yeah, Claire should be a fucking suspect for this.
1:34:33 Chris Ryan? Also, like if the cops came by, wouldn't they just wanna see driver's licenses from everybody? Does Peyton have a Peyton Flanders?
1:34:40 Speaker 02 Driver's license?
1:34:42 Bill Simmons? I think Claire is a suspect immediately because we already had the altercation with them two weeks before. See if that, Marlene didn't have a funeral?
1:34:52 Chris Ryan? Just a bunch of people smoking.
1:34:54 Speaker 02 You don't think she did off screen?
1:34:56 Bill Simmons? And Claire's like, I'm gonna go to Marlene's office. It's just intact. Everything's still there.
1:35:01 Speaker 02 It was interesting that her like day planner was just sitting there.
1:35:03 Bill Simmons? And how long was Claire in the hospital? With her asthma attack? She's in there for four weeks?
1:35:09 Speaker 02 How long do you go to the hospital?
1:35:10 Bill Simmons? Covid.
1:35:11 Chris Ryan? I don't know, a couple of days? I don't know. Couple of days.
1:35:13 Bill Simmons? Stopped back for the funeral and people are...
1:35:15 Chris Ryan? Hit her with some steroids?
1:35:16 Bill Simmons? Is that awkward with Marlene's family? Like, so what happened? Your greenhouse collapsed on our daughter?
1:35:20 Speaker 02 You wanted more time with her husband. You wanted to see him weeping and wailing at the funeral.
1:35:24 Bill Simmons? Anyone in Marlene's wife's life, wait, the greenhouse collapsed on Marlene and killed her?
1:35:29 Chris Ryan? The Mariners had a home stand.
1:35:32 Chris Ryan? Marty's like, okay, wait, Edgar Martinez is on an incredible streak right now.
1:35:37 Bill Simmons? I just had a lot of questions.
1:35:38 Speaker 02 You wanted Marty Craven to just have his moment at the funeral.
1:35:41 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:35:41 Speaker 02 Maybe he could have quoted some more poetry.
1:35:43 Chris Ryan? Yeah, that would've been good.
1:35:44 Bill Simmons? Also, you know what always works? A funeral scene.
1:35:46 Chris Ryan? Like, Marlene, there's two things she loved. Parliament lights and condominiums.
1:35:52 Chris Ryan? And this poem about the hand that rocks the cradle.
1:35:55 Bill Simmons? There was no house she couldn't sell, no cigarettes she couldn't smoke. Sequel, prequel, prestige, to be all black cast or untouchable. I feel like it's done all of these.
1:36:05 Chris Ryan? They didn't do a prequel.
1:36:06 Bill Simmons? That Hulu one, the Dr. Mott prequel is still in development. The Hulu thing was October 2025 when they had that.
1:36:14 Speaker 02 It doesn't feel like it exists.
1:36:16 Bill Simmons? And now Ciara and I'll have our Seattle soap pop built around Marty and.
1:36:19 Chris Ryan? Middle aged man version of the hand that rocks the cradle.
1:36:23 Bill Simmons? Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Dr. Charles Nichols or somebody else?
1:36:29 Chris Ryan? I do just have like Marlene Craven, want me to spell it, don't call me lady. I like, that was the one I have, but I would love to see Robert Evans getting into Peyton.
1:36:37 Bill Simmons? Oh.
1:36:38 Chris Ryan? She knows how to dress. She knows how to rear a child. Her legs go on forever.
1:36:44 Speaker 02 This is just your hottest take again.
1:36:46 Bill Simmons? I had.
1:36:47 Chris Ryan? It's my hottest take as read by Patton Oswalt doing Robert Evans.
1:36:51 Bill Simmons? It's funny because I had Loja as Byron Mayo for this.
1:36:54 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:36:54 Bill Simmons? Peyton, Claire. Yeah, couldn't help but noticing any at the, at the Claire surprise party, just having Byron Mayo there, no shirt.
1:37:03 Chris Ryan? Or if Byron Mayo walked in with the ice cube situation.
1:37:06 Speaker 02 Maybe he was at the funeral.
1:37:07 Chris Ryan? Tiny white.
1:37:08 Bill Simmons? Maybe he was.
1:37:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:37:09 Bill Simmons? Ladies, don't fight. Uh, just want to ask her who gets it. That's gotta be DeMornay.
1:37:13 Speaker 02 DeMornay.
1:37:14 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:37:15 Bill Simmons? We have to throw in here the Catherine Schamel. Would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away award? Cause uh, Claire's husband thought about it twice in the kitchen there.
1:37:24 Chris Ryan? I, for me, even for as seduced as I can be by this type, for, for me, I'm out. Sharks.
1:37:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:37:30 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Probably an answerable questions. Baby Joey with the double breastfeeding situation.
1:37:37 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:37:38 Bill Simmons? What did his next 10 years look like?
1:37:41 Speaker 02 Well, here's, here's the question. So like.
1:37:44 Chris Ryan? Is he like super strong like LeBron after going to Germany?
1:37:47 Speaker 02 The, no, but like he's not, he's not drinking from her, but he's still like, he's not drinking from his mom.
1:37:54 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:37:54 Speaker 02 But he's still.
1:37:55 Bill Simmons? I think he's doing both though.
1:37:56 Speaker 02 No, he's, he like, that's why she's so stressed because he won't latch.
1:37:59 Chris Ryan? But he is gaining weight.
1:38:00 Speaker 02 But he's gaining weight.
1:38:01 Bill Simmons? And Michael's just like, then what's the problem?
1:38:03 Speaker 02 So we don't take this kid to the hospital?
1:38:06 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:38:07 Speaker 02 All of these children need to go to the doctor. If you think your, your little girl has been molested, she needs to go see a therapist. And if you think your baby is growing despite not drinking any milk at all.
1:38:17 Chris Ryan? They're just like, that's one problem solved. Let's move on.
1:38:20 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:38:20 Speaker 02 We'll save a fortune on milk.
1:38:22 Bill Simmons? The baby gaining weight, it is very enough.
1:38:24 Speaker 02 No prob.
1:38:25 Chris Ryan? Belichick, on to Cleveland.
1:38:28 Bill Simmons? Mentioned this earlier, but I, I do feel like they could have snuck in a 92 Sonics game scene.
1:38:33 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:38:34 Bill Simmons? Maybe the double date, maybe the guys are going there after just so we get some Sean Kemp, just to mix it up.
1:38:39 Chris Ryan? Wait, what category are we on?
1:38:41 Speaker 02 Unanswerable questions. Why weren't the Sonics in this movie?
1:38:45 Bill Simmons? The Sonics are right there.
1:38:48 Bill Simmons? I have one really good one though, unless you guys have any other.
1:38:51 Chris Ryan? Uh, my biggest unanswerable question was, was, what was Peyton like before her OBGY on husband?
1:38:56 Speaker 02 So you want the Peyton prequel?
1:38:57 Chris Ryan? Well, I'm just curious what she was like.
1:38:58 Speaker 02 Peyton's place, you want it.
1:39:00 Chris Ryan? Did Peyton have any friends? Did they all abandon her?
1:39:02 Bill Simmons? I think she was like a Seattle socialite, right?
1:39:04 Chris Ryan? Right. So wouldn't there be like a little bit more awareness?
1:39:07 Bill Simmons? Yeah.
1:39:11 Bill Simmons? Unanswerable question.
1:39:13 Speaker 02 I don't have one.
1:39:14 Bill Simmons? Is this movie better?
1:39:18 Bill Simmons? If they look out at the end and Peyton's not there in the front lawn?
1:39:21 Speaker 02 Oh, Michael Myers?
1:39:22 Bill Simmons? Michael Myers, the ending.
1:39:24 Chris Ryan? Somehow Peyton has survived.
1:39:25 Speaker 02 And then rocks the cradle too?
1:39:27 Bill Simmons? It's just like.
1:39:28 Speaker 02 Still rockin?
1:39:29 Bill Simmons? It's like, we did it, guys. Look out and she's gone.
1:39:33 Speaker 02 What's the sequel?
1:39:34 Bill Simmons? I just, I always like that device.
1:39:36 Chris Ryan? Peyton, damaged but alive, on the road. And where does she pop up next? Los Angeles, working for a film producer. Uh, you know, it's like, we could, we could get into it.
1:39:47 Bill Simmons? Why not?
1:39:48 Chris Ryan? Maybe a film producer. The film producer who made a Lifetime movie of the week about her life.
1:39:53 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:39:54 Chris Ryan? And now she's gonna get revenge on him.
1:39:55 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Why close the door?
1:39:57 Speaker 02 And she's like, Tori Spelling, how dare you?
1:39:59 Chris Ryan? Yeah, exactly.
1:40:00 Speaker 02 Got it.
1:40:00 Bill Simmons? Memorabilia you'd want or not want from this movie? For me, I would not want the breast pumps from the leftover ones from the, uh, house that wouldn't sell. Would be mine.
1:40:09 Speaker 02 Would you want an inhaler that has never seen a pair of human lips attached to it?
1:40:14 Bill Simmons? Yeah. The C R movie used inhaler?
1:40:16 Chris Ryan? We're not allowed to use the cars, right? We could never use, can I get an old Volvo wagon?
1:40:21 Speaker 02 I've always wanted an old Volvo wagon.
1:40:22 Bill Simmons? Those were great cars. Very safe.
1:40:24 Chris Ryan? They ran for like 300,000 miles.
1:40:25 Speaker 02 Also that like, that beige color.
1:40:27 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:40:27 Speaker 02 Perfect.
1:40:28 Chris Ryan? Oh god, yeah.
1:40:28 Bill Simmons? I dated a girl who had one of those cars and the thing had like 200,000 miles and was just fucking cracking.
1:40:33 Speaker 02 Those things were tanks. I always wanted one of those.
1:40:36 Bill Simmons? Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi, where best worst life lesson? Don't hire a hot nanny or don't build a greenhouse.
1:40:41 Speaker 02 Don't let a hot woman into a power position in your household, I believe.
1:40:44 Bill Simmons? Yeah, that was a good one.
1:40:45 Chris Ryan? Check the references.
1:40:45 Speaker 02 But also, don't go into a greenhouse, not ever, not even once.
1:40:48 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Best double feature choice?
1:40:51 Chris Ryan? I think single white female, but you know, I mean, just, just to be in the spirit of the pod.
1:40:55 Speaker 02 Sleeping with the Enemy.
1:40:58 Bill Simmons? Laura!
1:41:00 Speaker 02 I love that movie.
1:41:01 Bill Simmons? I have scorned with Shannon Tweed.
1:41:03 Chris Ryan? Nice.
1:41:04 Bill Simmons? The, uh.
1:41:05 Chris Ryan? Not familiar with that one?
1:41:06 Speaker 02 I would say not The Housemaid, which is the double feature that I.
1:41:08 Bill Simmons? Scorned Machine and Tweed was this movie, but the Skinner Max version of it. It was considered to be the Shannon Tweed apex for her.
1:41:16 Speaker 02 They showed these movies all the time on like, as, as, you know, when I was here for Just One of the Guys and I let you know that I didn't have HBO, so I watched all the movies that I watched on like TNT, TDS. So I, the nipples were not a factor for when we rewatched Hand, the Rocks of Cradle. But they showed this and Sleeping with the Enemy like all the time.
1:41:35 Bill Simmons? Safest cable.
1:41:37 Speaker 02 And my parents were just like, go ahead and watch it.
1:41:39 Bill Simmons? Yeah. Who won the movie? Rebecca DeMornay.
1:41:42 Speaker 02 DeMornay. Easy.
1:41:44 Bill Simmons? Craig?
1:41:44 Speaker 04 She won the movie. I mean, she liked LeBron 2018, game one, 50, 10 and 10, or whatever he had won the movie.
1:41:52 Bill Simmons? Could, would you have given the Bam Adebayo 83 point game award for her?
1:41:55 Speaker 04 Well, no, because I knew where it came from because I saw Risky Business and she kind of changed my life.
1:42:00 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:42:00 Speaker 04 So, but I have to say, the first like 40, 50 minutes of this movie, I, I, I wasn't in love with it. I thought it was a little, really kind of slow and drawn out. There's like a weird acting style. I, I agree with you about, was it Michael?
1:42:15 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:42:15 Speaker 04 Is that the name of the character? I feel like him and Claire have a very weird acting style. I don't know if it was the point of the movie, but they're like almost mannequin-esque. I feel like I'm watching an HR instructional video where it was like, hey, would you like to come over for dinner? That sounds nice. Thank you. All right. Pick you up at seven. Seven sounds great. Like, that was like the first hour of the movie.
1:42:33 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:42:34 Speaker 04 And then, but I, I really felt like your pure hatred for, for Peyton really just drives you to the end of this movie. I think she is one of the most despicable people I've seen in a long time. And, and you are just so, like, I need to see this fucking lady die. She has to die.
1:42:49 Chris Ryan? She can't just get arrested.
1:42:51 Speaker 04 That's horrible. I would argue she still wins, like. Even though she dies, like, okay, Michael broke his legs. Claire now kind of thinks that Michael wants to have sex with Peyton. Maybe had sex with Marlene.
1:43:04 Chris Ryan? I can, I think, I think Claire can definitively say, Michael is like, not, not a protector. Like, he is, he is gonna get distracted too easily.
1:43:14 Speaker 04 Like, Marlene's dead. This family does not get out unscathed at all.
1:43:17 Chris Ryan? What is he want Neo here?
1:43:19 Speaker 04 Like, this family's fucked up.
1:43:20 Chris Ryan? What's the next day like?
1:43:21 Speaker 04 The baby was breastfeeding on the wrong mother.
1:43:23 Speaker 02 Are we moving away from Seattle?
1:43:24 Chris Ryan? If you wanna ma- make, if this family's staying together, I think they have to be.
1:43:27 Speaker 02 I think they're leaving Seattle. They should go to Boston.
1:43:29 Bill Simmons? I think they're out of the greenhouse business. Uh, I think Michael probably loses his job because he can't stand up for nine months.
1:43:36 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:43:36 Bill Simmons? Because he broke both of his legs.
1:43:38 Speaker 02 You can't do science while sitting.
1:43:39 Bill Simmons? Maybe, or is it like the wheel, is Stephen Hawking wheelchair, baby?
1:43:42 Speaker 02 I think most scientists sit, most of the time.
1:43:44 Bill Simmons? That seemed like a very standing lab.
1:43:47 Speaker 04 They're going to Denver, restarting.
1:43:48 Chris Ryan? Yeah.
1:43:49 Bill Simmons? And I think that kid has really traumatized the daughter. Maybe a little Joey, too.
1:43:53 Speaker 02 Joey's doing great.
1:43:55 Speaker 04 Like, she, the whole family's a mess, after, even after Peyton's death.
1:43:58 Bill Simmons? Peyton really ran him out. She got her revenge.
1:44:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:44:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:44:02 Speaker 02 I think a problem in this, like, is often the case when I'm on an episode where it's the early 90s. It's like, so many people have done it since.
1:44:09 Chris Ryan? That it's hard to see how.
1:44:11 Speaker 02 Since, that it's like, yeah.
1:44:12 Speaker 04 I also love, like, so many 90s movies just have no idea how to end the fucking movie. Like, this movie just ends. I thought I was gonna see another scene, and it's like, Solomon, come downstairs.
1:44:20 Chris Ryan? They don't even have, like, the.
1:44:21 Speaker 04 Okay, credits.
1:44:22 Chris Ryan? Yeah, it's like.
1:44:22 Speaker 02 And how we fuck it. Roll in the front of the house, the B-roll.
1:44:24 Chris Ryan? That was, of course, been brought out of the basement. Everybody's happy.
1:44:27 Speaker 02 He's still in the basement.
1:44:28 Speaker 04 I love a shot of the family together. It's just like, Solomon, come on downstairs.
1:44:32 Bill Simmons? You wanted a group hug with broken legs, Michael?
1:44:34 Speaker 04 Michael's legs are broken in the basement.
1:44:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44:36 Speaker 04 Don't Solomon, man!
1:44:37 Speaker 02 Solomon, Solomon's just like, dancing out of the room with the baby. It's very odd. It's very confusing.
1:44:42 Bill Simmons? I love the early 90s.
1:44:43 Chris Ryan? Also, Claire's taking the baby back. She's not like, no, no, no, it's cool.
1:44:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:44:47 Chris Ryan? You can hold her.
1:44:47 Speaker 04 You don't really see credits roll over, usually it cuts to black now. You don't see the credits roll over footage anymore.
1:44:53 Bill Simmons? Well, now you don't see credits anymore because this movie just went right to, five seconds. You have five seconds for the next thing we're throwing at you. So I couldn't even, I had to like rewind.
1:45:04 Speaker 02 You were like, stop.
1:45:05 Bill Simmons? Cause I couldn't remember what Dr. Mott's name was. But God forbid, you just got to enjoy credits for 10 seconds.
1:45:12 Speaker 04 I was legitimately fired up when Marlene spots the wind chime.
1:45:15 Speaker 02 Yeah. Like, let's fucking go.
1:45:17 Chris Ryan? Little Xerox printout.
1:45:19 Speaker 04 She's like, cancel my morning.
1:45:20 Speaker 02 And then she's driving her like, it's a beamer.
1:45:22 Chris Ryan? Fuck off.
1:45:22 Speaker 02 Like, it's a beamer. Yeah, she's like, fuck off. Give me a cigarette. She's in a BMW, right? She's just like, zooming through traffic.
1:45:27 Speaker 04 It's like the comeback to Remember the Titans. I'm like, let's fucking go.
1:45:31 Bill Simmons? CR, would you have watched a Marlene, separate movie of Marlene real estate in Seattle? Just her smoking in people's houses.
1:45:38 Chris Ryan? Just Gordon Gekko, but Marlene.
1:45:40 Speaker 04 Yeah. Selling Seattle with Marlene.
1:45:44 Speaker 02 I think she fucks. I think she fucks whoever she wants in Seattle.
1:45:47 Bill Simmons? That's why when she shows up in Boogie Nights, we had some history with her. It's like, I'm ready for this lady to have her moment. And then it finally happened with Boogie Nights, I think was when it happened. All right, guys. From Hell, Joanna Robinson, thank you. Chris Ryan, thank you. Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Eduardo. We're gonna be back next week with another From Hell movie. I think we're doing The Good Sun next week.
1:46:10 Chris Ryan? I think we are.
1:46:12 Bill Simmons? That's a good one. Can't wait for Craig's reaction to that one. That's next week. Thank you.
1:46:17 Speaker 02 Thank you.
1:46:29 Speaker 05 Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.
Previous ‘Single White Female’ With Bill Simmons, Van Lathan, and Mallory Rubin Next ‘Domestic Disturbance’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated