Xavi Simons professional football phenom on Tottenham Hotspur English Premier League talks growing up famous, leaving Barcelona club, family pressure, mentally strong and heartbreak of missing the World Cup due to injury.

“No one teaches you how to be famous.”Xavi Simons From being a young football sensation in the spotlight to navigating family, fame, setbacks and the weight of expectations, Xavi Simons joins The Pivot for an honest conversation about the journey behind the player. Xavi opens up about growing up with the world watching, finding his identity beyond the hype, and the family and people who helped shape him along the way. Sharing how his father was not present and being the namesake of a professional footballer came with pressure and expectations. He takes us inside the difficult decision to leave Barcelona’s academy at just 16, walking away from the club where he grew up and beginning a new chapter that would ultimately shape his career. He also reflects on the pride and pressure of representing the Netherlands on the world stage — and the heartbreak of watching the 2026 World Cup from home after an ACL injury ended his season and took away the opportunity he had worked toward. Now facing the next chapter of his career, Xavi talks about his recovery, his future in soccer, the lessons he's learned through adversity, and what it means to carry the expectations that have followed his name since he was a kid. Fame came early. The setbacks came too. Now Xavi Simons is writing the next chapter of his story. Full Episode streaming now on Netflix. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Before this,

• 0:05Speaker 00

  there's this.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  As you celebrate the game, take a deeper look at its roots. The people grow in the grass, paving the lots, welding the goalposts, inspecting every football. The hardworking people that make every Sunday possible. Carhartt is proud to outfit the crews behind the game. Visit carhartt.com/jointhetrades to learn more.

• 0:30Ryan Clark?

  Xavi Simons was a prodigy. The blonde Afro, advanced soccer skills and undeniable flair made him an instant internet sensation. But with that kind of early fame comes a price. He's the son of a footballer who was never in his life, but he certainly is his mother's child. He's hardworking, he's disciplined, he's loyal, he's kind. He set goals for himself and so far he's accomplished many of them, including playing in the World Cup. But 2026 was supposed to be the year he took that next step to become the man. And then, just like that, poof, those dreams were dashed when he tore his ACL. We talked about the tough upbringing that his mother shielded him from.

• 1:11Ryan Clark?

  The idols who shaped him and eventually became his friends like Neymar. The brother he looks up to and the price of becoming famous so young. He also mentioned the pressure that comes with being Xavi Simons. The famous friends that he gets to hang around and eventually or sometimes miss their birthday parties. And the injury that ultimately changed his perspective on the game, his career and his life. Now he's rehabbing, leaning on his faith and continuing to work his way back. I truly enjoyed this conversation because Xavi is wise beyond his years. His experience may not be written across his face, but you can feel it in his heart. So Pivot family, please welcome Xavi Simons to the show.

• 2:15Ryan Clark?

  Xavi, man, welcome to the show. This is Channing Crowder. This is Fred Taylor. I'm Ryan Clark. Pivot fam, thank you for pivoting with us. I went outside first, right? To learn how to pronounce your name because I'm from New Orleans. We got one accent, we speak one language. You know, you speak like six. So I know your dialect works with everybody, mine doesn't. Right, so I needed to figure that out, man. Very grateful that you allowed us to come here, man. You allowed us in your space. We don't take that for granted here on The Pivot. I want to talk about your first four days after your ACL.

• 2:50Ryan Clark?

  What was that time like for you? Knowing what you were supposed to be headed into, having an injury you were wishing wasn't that serious? And now finding out that your ACL is torn and that you were going to miss FIFA?

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, the first four days was, yeah, it was crazy because this is the first time like I got injured like for a very long time. So knowing that as well, like I was three weeks away from the World Cup. That hurt, hurt my, my whole body. The first feeling when, when that had the action happen, I'm on the ground and the first thing I'm thinking like, oh, the World Cup. You know? And I knew, you know, we are all athletes. We know when something bad happens to you, you directly feel it. So I felt it and I said to myself, you know, Xavi, try it another time. Let's see. I didn't like accept it at the moment. So I stood up and they said to me, okay, jump twice.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  So when I jumped, I felt like my knee went out and come back. So that was the moment where I said to myself, it's, it's done. And then, yeah.

• 4:01Channing Crowder?

  Yeah, I'm a, I'm a knee expert on this show. I've had four ACL reconstructions, all in high school.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 4:07Channing Crowder?

  Before college, before playing professional. And you gonna, you gonna come back, brother. Because you're way better athlete than me.

• 4:15Channing Crowder?

  But the mental side of it's hard.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, especially I think, yeah, what I said. There was a World Cup here, so I've been the whole season preparing myself for that moment. And just in one moment in time, it's gone.

• 4:29Channing Crowder?

  You're, you're not playing, you're playing for, who are you playing for when you got injured?

• 4:33Speaker 02

  I was playing for Tottenham.

• 4:34Channing Crowder?

  Tottenham, the Hotspur?

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, Hotspur.

• 4:36Channing Crowder?

  But you're playing soccer.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:38Channing Crowder?

  You, you played at some of the top teams around the clubs. You know, I'm a football guy. Clubs around the world. The first thing pops in your mind is the World Cup? Is it country pride? Why is that the first thing?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've been speaking this with friends in America as well. And they, they, they ask me like, how, what is that feeling? And for me, it's for, for our football fans, playing for your country, that's the most beautiful thing that you can do. And that's kind of the biggest achievement that you can achieve. Especially a World Cup is every four years. And knowing that that was the moment, because otherwise you have to wait four more years to, you know, to experience that, that, that just, yeah. I think that's the most beautiful thing that you can have as a football player.

• 5:22Fred Taylor?

  Xavi, we've all had injuries. I've had knee injury recovery. I mean, knee injuries that require major surgery, multiple injuries. You were injured in October with ligament damage. Missed three months, came back in January only to be back out in April to have to deal with this. When you go through injuries, like there's a change physically and then adversity changes you mentally and psychologically. Like where are you with that part of it? Like how did that part affect you, the psychological piece?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would say I'm a really strong character. I think I've been through a lot of things, even I'm, I'm still young.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  When that happened, I remember the first two days I was, you know, I was really sad. I was, yeah, just in my room in the dark because I couldn't believe what happened to me. But after my mom, she came the third day at home. So I'm from Suriname originally. My family is from South America. So my mom, she came home, I remember. And we were talking on the table and suddenly she, she screamed at me. She said, Xavi, it's done. You know, you cannot be, it's already done. You cannot go back and fix it. So that was a point for me like, okay, it's true what she's saying, you know? So now I have to look into the future and I have to, yeah, make, make the comeback stronger and definitely will happen.

• 6:48Ryan Clark?

  You know, speaking of your mom, you know, you were finally named. Your name say Xavi Hernandez, right? But your mom said you were an ugly baby. And she said like your brother was gorgeous and you were an ugly baby. So you was just like, you know what I mean? How often do you guys laugh about that story, man? And it took a couple of days for you to get your name?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, always, always because, you know, I was like a different baby. I was like, my eyes were big, I was really wide. Like totally the opposite of my family, you know? So that's why we've always been laughing. And I have a nickname, they call me Boyki. It's not by my name is because, yeah, it's like the different one of the family a little bit. So, yeah, the name of Xavi Hernandez was because of the legend of Barcelona, Xavi Hernandez. She was just watching television and I had like four days, I had no name. So she said, okay, that's the name, you know?

• 7:45Ryan Clark?

  So were you just like Baby Simons or something?

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were calling me Baby Simons.

• 7:48Ryan Clark?

  Really?

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no, I had no name. So she said, no, I need to think about it. I don't want to give my kid just a random name. And it's just mad because now he is my coach in the national team.

• 8:00Ryan Clark?

  Yeah.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  So how life goes is mad, yeah.

• 8:05Ryan Clark?

  I want to ask a question about the, your mother.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:10Ryan Clark?

  One, you know, it's just been so well documented how strong she was. But you're on record saying that you didn't, or she didn't allow you to know how much you were struggling when you were young. Speak a little bit about your upbringing and how your mother sheltered you a little bit away from some of the difficulties y'all were dealing with.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  I got scouted by Barcelona at six years old. And I played them until my 16. And I have an older brother as well, seven years older than me. And at that young age, you just play football, you go to school, you just are with your friends and you don't see like how life really goes. And in a certain age, like at 15, 16, my brother, he took me home and he said, Xavi, look, I wanted to go eat with my friends, but I needed to ask for, for money. But I remember my mom was saying, Xavi, I can't give you that money because I don't have. But I was not understanding that, like why all my teammates and why all my friends have it and I don't have it. And then is when my brother came in that moment. He said, you know, this is our situation.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Ma is working really hard, she's working every day. But there are things that you don't know that maybe in the future I will tell you and you will experience. So when I got older, I sat down with my family, my brother and my mom. She explained me things like, for example, she sent us to Holland in the summer because she knew she hadn't like two months light at home and not hot water. So she sent us to my grandma because she know there was no hot water and lights at home. So she was spending like two months alone without anything at home. So for me, hearing that is just crazy because at that time, my mom, she never showed me that difficulties in life. So that's why when I knew that I said no.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  I love my mom, but hearing that I said no. Like for me, you are the true MVP. Everyone sees me in the television, everyone admire me. But like she is the one that took the family by herself.

• 10:17Channing Crowder?

  And your pops was a footballer as well. But my dad played professional football, but my mom's the one that got me into football, which is people always try to reference back to my dad. Oh, your dad played for the Dolphins, you played for Dolphins. And I gotta tell them, I was like, my dad wasn't the one that put me on that field. Does your dad have anything to do with your with your career?

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Look, when you're young, it's nice when your dad had played in a professional level, you know? But yeah, he was as well, like member in my life. Like obviously he's my dad, but being dad for everyone is different. And that's okay as well. But the one that really take care of the kids was my mom. She was working six in the morning until eight in the night. And I'm seeing her like two hours in the night. And the next day I don't see her. So she was the one that took care of the family. And the difficulty that she had, she was alone in another country, not speaking that language, not having anyone. And like for me, there's no doubt that she is the one that took care of the family.

• 11:22Ryan Clark?

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• 11:38Fred Taylor?

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• 11:52Ryan Clark?

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• 11:56Fred Taylor?

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• 12:09Channing Crowder?

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• 12:42Fred Taylor?

  You were recruited by Barcelona at the age seven. That's crazy. Like, when did you know you were different than the other kids you were playing against when you were young?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  It's crazy because I always had that mentality like I'm different. But at the same time, I knew like I had to work more than everyone else. Because kind of I was in the spotlight a little bit. I had curly hair, blonde hair, I was light skinned. You know, people, it's not that often that someone, especially in Spain, is like that. And I had the talent. So at a certain age, at a young age, I already developed like, okay, I need to prove myself more than others. So I need to work harder, I need to be disciplined. And have that kind of responsibility at a young age. And I think that is what for me.

• 13:35Fred Taylor?

  And your name came with expectations. I mean, you were named after a legend. Were you at an age where you can understand that part of it? Or are you just out there just having fun?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  No, but two, three years after, yeah. Like at the age of nine, 10, I realized, okay, I'm different. You know, so yeah, what I say, I had to prove myself more than others.

• 14:03Ryan Clark?

  So here, you know, football is obviously different here, right? And social media, when we were young, wasn't a thing, especially him. He's 75, bro. So it definitely had no social media when he was young. But you become the wonder kid, right? That's what they're calling you. Like here, we get that with entertainers, actors, singers. And those people grow up and a lot of times, you keep saying yourself was different because you were set apart athletically and the way you were viewed. But they also don't have childhoods, right? And so a lot of the things that you learn through those experiences, those people don't have. And they end up having trouble assimilating.

• 14:48Ryan Clark?

  For you, what was the process of living life, knowing that your childhood is almost taken away by visibility and popularity?

• 14:59Speaker 02

  I've lost my, I would say I've lost my whole childhood, I would say. Like I have a younger sister now and I see like she's 12 and what she has, I didn't have. So for me at the time was kind of hard as well. Like I couldn't go to the street to play football. I couldn't go to my, with my friends to whatever place because I knew at the time, people get to me and they will ask things to me. Yeah, living with that was hard. And luckily I had my older brother and he always coached me and he always was there for me. But yeah, what you're saying, I've lost a lot of things in my childhood.

• 15:41Channing Crowder?

  And like, how does that go? Because we don't, even the best athletes over here, we're not sent to clubs. Nobody's coming to recruit us at six years old. So you saying you can't go out and play with the kids? Who's stopping you? Like the door locks from the inside. You know what I'm saying? Hey, hey, big bro, I'm about to go play with the kids. You can kiss my ass. Like who stopped you from being a kid and having, you know, doing what kids do?

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, like for me, it was more like I want to go just outside and I want to be free and I want to play with my friends. But I've had it a couple of times where I'm just playing and a lot of people are coming there and touching me and asking me, you know, Charlie, take a picture, signature. Meanwhile, I'm with my friends. And for me, it's like I didn't understand at the time, like what's going on? You know, why these people want to be, want to have a picture with me? Like at the time was I just want to enjoy, I just want to play. And yeah, that's the thing that you're dealing with. And you're dealing with as well with a lot of, I would say jealousy. And you're dealing with a lot of pressure that at the time I didn't feel. I still don't feel it.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Obviously I have more responsibilities, but I'm enjoying that. But at the time, it's like no one teaches you how to be famous. And then age of 10, 11, 12 years. So I had to like discover my own way with my family, how to handle certain things. And that's what people don't know. In Europe, they see like, okay, you have one million followers, everyone loves you. So everything is good in your life. That's not true. I've lost a lot of things that maybe other kids from 12 years old never lost. And it's okay, everyone has his own path, you know? That's life as well. But there are good things and there are some negative things, I would say.

• 17:29Channing Crowder?

  That had to create some trust issues for you. Do they, what were those and do they still carry over now from being a child? And really, like you said, do you really like me? Or do you like me, like watching me play soccer? You know, how did that, what did they do like to Fred's point? That must've done something to you mentally to see people just want to talk to you because you can kick that damn baller in there.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Obviously, that comes with it. Like, you know, I've always, yeah, I've always carried that thing like trust issues. Like, okay, are you with me just because you like me or the person that I am? What do you want from me? What do you expect from me? And I have an older brother, so he always been saying to me like, you know, watch out because people are coming to you and they wanting something from you. And I'm there at 10, 11, 12 years old. That's, for me, that's my, like maybe nowadays it's more normal. But at the time, everything was was new, so was not normal. I had like more followers than maybe first team players, like adults players, you know? And people can see that as well, like negatively.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Like people saying, oh, what do you think you are? You think you have that million followers and you think you're already there or? I'm just being a kid. I'm just thinking, I just want to play football, you know? And obviously now it's more heavy because now you're in the adult life. You're now a man, you have more responsibility, you are bigger now. And obviously, as you guys know, you guys have been athletes. People want always something for you.

• 19:06Fred Taylor?

  So you were very much self-aware because you knew what was going on around you. But in terms of like self-identity, discovering who you are, you know, or how did you discover who you are? When the, let's say, the football world has already given you or telling you that this is supposed to be your identity by the age of 12?

• 19:32Speaker 02

  I think going through different situations, people having a judgment about you. And as well, like you guys know, when you play a game, at that time, I already felt like I cannot have a bad game. Because if I have a bad game, people will judge me even harder than all the kids. And for me, that was the mentality that I had always like, I don't care about people. I just need to prove to myself like I'm still the best and I want to be the best. And until the day of today, I'm willing to sacrifice everything in my life just to achieve my goals. That's the mentality that I always had, like I don't care.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Like if I have to go in trouble today just to achieve my dreams, I will do it. And that's the person who I am, that's my identity. And without any doubt, the thing that obviously I have the talent, but what made me the player that I am today and the person I am is my mentality, my discipline. And that's what's non-negotiable for me.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  There's this.

• 20:49Speaker 00

  As you celebrate the game, take a deeper look at its roots. The people grow in the grass, paving the lots, welding the goalposts, inspecting every football. The hard-working people that make every Sunday possible. Carhartt is proud to outfit the crews behind the game. Visit carhartt.com/jointhetrades to learn more.

• 21:10Ryan Clark?

  You have a very different upbringing, right? And there was a level of celebrity that was a part of the way you were viewed publicly. When you can create a friendship with someone like Neymar, how often do you get a chance to talk to him about some of the pitfalls and trappings of that level of popularity and celebrity?

• 21:38Speaker 02

  You know how life goes is just crazy because at the age of 13, he left Barcelona. And I remember when I saw that message, there was like, I was crying at home. I was thinking like, no, I want to play with this guy. It's my idol, you know? And three years later, I've played with him and I've experienced things with him. I played three years with him straight. He has been the one that took care of me in Paris. He's the one that always was next to me, always, "Chavi, if you need something, I can help you." He invited to his house a couple of times, we eat. So for me, it's not anymore like my, obviously it's my idol, but it's more like a friend relationship that I have with him.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  And it's as well the same thing, like people know Neymar, but they don't know the real Neymar. And that's the thing, and I know the real Neymar, so I can say like, he's a fantastic human being that other people just don't see.

• 22:35Channing Crowder?

  People know the real you?

• 22:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:38Channing Crowder?

  Why not? Why don't you, you got social media. What do you got, 6.6 million? Is that it?

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:44Channing Crowder?

  6.6 million. Why don't you show people you? You can play soccer, but hell, you a man too. Soccer ain't gonna last forever, bro.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Obviously, yeah, obviously you can show yourself. But at the time, when you're 60, 17, I just want to play football. I just, I said to my family, like, I'm focused on football. I don't care what people say. The people can, will speak no matter what. So I'm just focusing that tunnel vision. That was my mentality. Now, obviously you're what older, now you can do certain things more. But for me, that's still the same mentality that I have.

• 23:14Ryan Clark?

  What keeps you grounded, right? Because so many times you see adults, you know, let's just talk about American football. You've grinded all of this time. Now you get drafted and you get a certain amount of money. And you do have the fame and you got the sports clips and all of these things are happening. And you see guys get the big head, right? Whether it's not continuing to work the way they worked to get there or on the other side of it, becoming a human that they never were before that. How have you, because I keep listening to you talk about the discipline, the sacrifice, the dedication to be the best. When you have popularity like you had before you get the success you actually want,

• 23:59Ryan Clark?

  how were you able to say, you know what, it doesn't matter that I have all of this. This is the goal. This is the gold star and I'm gonna stay focused there?

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Because I said, no, let me tell you. I, when I was young, I promised my mom something.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  I promised her like, "Mom, one day I'm gonna achieve this. One day I'm gonna achieve this." And I still have like that little voice in my head constantly, every day, like not forgetting what I promised her. And that's why what I told you before, I'm willing to sacrifice everything to achieve my goal. And that's why it's all the other things like, I'm, little things, the food, the sleeping good, the lifestyle that I have. It's because I want to achieve something that I want in my football career. And I know it doesn't last forever, so we have just a certain amount of time, even if your body have to allow it as well.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  And, and for me, that's, that's something that's as well not negotiable, you know?

• 25:07Ryan Clark?

  We all have children that are athletic or that followed us into sport. My son played football and plays, I should say plays football as well. Channing has a hooper and a baseball player. Fred had a son that was drafted, right? So we had all of these opportunities and experiences that we could share with them. How difficult is it for you to be this child prodigy in a sport that your father was a professional in, but you have no relationship? You know, I went to my son's game, plays for the Jets. I went to his game in Pittsburgh, which is where I played, right? And so on the sideline, I hug him before the game and people take the picture or take the video

• 25:52Ryan Clark?

  and it goes everywhere, right? Because it's like, this father is here supporting his son doing the thing that they both did together, right? Or that they both do. You never got that experience yet. You still are going to be associated with a man that's never poured into making you who you are. How does that play into maybe the way you approach the game? Or even the way you see relationships like that?

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, for me is, when I was younger as well, I saw always on the sideline my mom and my brother. So I always saw that person, that two persons in the sideline. So obviously when you're young, not seeing the older parent there, it hits you a little bit. You know, you think like, why I have to be like this or why me? But with the time that I grew up, my brother was for me brother, father, father. You know, I developed a relationship with him, seeing, seeing him like my example, like seeing him like my father. And he took that father figure in our family. We have a younger sister as well. How he is doing with her, even he has a kid, my own brother has a kid.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  He always been the man in the house. So for us, it's, it's a brother, father relationship. But I always had like that, I don't know, inside of me, I had like that fire like, okay, it's your choice that you're not here with your kids, so I'm gonna make it a success.

• 27:24Channing Crowder?

  And you started, when did you start making your own money? Was it 16?

• 27:29Speaker 02

  16, yeah.

• 27:30Channing Crowder?

  Million dollars or a million euros, pounds, shekels? I don't know.

• 27:36Ryan Clark?

  I don't know what they pay him in either. Hey, frankincense and myrrh.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  I think, obviously Barcelona was the flip of my life, but with certain things that happened, I didn't stay there and people didn't like that. But at the time, then I signed for PSG. And I think, yeah, at 16 years old, I could retire my mom already. I said to my mom, "You will stop working. Like, we have now money."

• 28:05Ryan Clark?

  Did it bother you that people thought it was about the money though?

• 28:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 28:09Ryan Clark?

  What was it really about? Like, did you feel like they believed in you, supported you, had confidence in you?

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Like you mean Barcelona? I think it was a mix of everything. I think, obviously, one of the main things is they couldn't handle like that social media attention and they took it by negative way.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  And at the time was as well like, when I had, I had some meetings with the sport directors. I don't know how it works here, but when you're signing a contract, then you have to speak with the sport director and the president of the club. So when I spoke with him, the way that he was speaking to me was like, "You don't believe in me."

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Like, for me, it's enough. It's okay. No problem. I will, I will show you in the future. You will regret this. So for me, after that meeting was, you know, they don't believe me. I love the club, but this is life. This is part of the job as well. So I need to, yeah, go otherwise, other place, yeah.

• 29:08Channing Crowder?

  I asked about the money because you talked about your brother being the father figure, being the patriarch of your family because your father wasn't there. When you get a meal, you're the patriarch now, right? Like you were saying, your mom couldn't give you money to go eat with your friends. You got your money. I'm sure, like you said, now you're taking care of your mom. I'm sure you had to shoot your brother. You had to watch out for family members. Was that tough for you at 16 to be the highest earning person in your circle?

• 29:34Speaker 02

  No, because I didn't have like my, my credit cards or my accounts. I had no control of it. It was my mom. My mom always took care of this until the day of today. She's the one that take care of it. So at the time, obviously you're earning that, but I'm not seeing that. Like the one that's seeing that is my mom. So at the time, remember, it's funny to say because she said to me, "You know, Chavi, you know where we come from. I have to make sure that the future never again, any generation of our family happened in this again with us. So I need to take care of it." She said to me, "But I give you a card and every month I send you money." So every month she sent me like 300 euros. That was what I was seeing. That was my numbers.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  So, but for me at the time, 300 euros, 16 years, for me, that was a lot.

• 30:23Ryan Clark?

  Did you feel rich when you got your 300 euros?

• 30:25Speaker 02

  I felt rich, yeah. I felt rich, but because at the time, I never, never saw 300 euros in a bank account, you know, or I never saw like 300 euros just cash, for example. So for me, it was enough, like I was living home with my brother, my mom. We were living in a really good house. We bought our first house, 16. So that, I was a happy place, like for me, that was my money, you know?

• 30:50Channing Crowder?

  Is that your budget to this day, 300 euros?

• 30:52Speaker 02

  No, that's definitely not it.

• 30:54Ryan Clark?

  Hey, he's spending more than that on trying to feed us.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  Hey, that's definitely not it. That's definitely not it.

• 31:00Fred Taylor?

  Did you understand that, that the processes though, that's involved with the whole, just the whole soccer thing, like the contracts, the money being loaned from PSG to Leipzig? How do you pronounce it?

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Leipzig, yeah.

• 31:13Fred Taylor?

  Right, and then Tottenham buying your, buying your rights from Leipzig. Like, did you understand like that, how that whole process and all that worked?

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, because after when I left PSG, I saw, I said as well, there was the World Cup of Qatar 2022, and I never, what, I was 18, and I was never with the first team of the national team. But I had only like three months to show that I can go to the World Cup, and I was especially 18. So at the time was as well, like, you know, I want to make it happen, like, even though I never been with the first team, that's my mentality, I want to go to the World Cup. And I have actually a picture that I remember at the time, I said to my brother, you know, buy me this ball, the ball of the World Cup, because I'm gonna sleep with the ball every day, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to this World Cup, even though it's three months.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  And my friends were saying to me, Xavi, it's impossible. You know, you're 18, you was with the under 18, you was never with the first team, so many good players. I say, you'll see, I will, I will achieve that. So that was the decision that I had to make at the time as well. I could be with PSG, with the best players, and Neymar, Messi, Mbappe, I could play with them, or just go somewhere else where I knew I can show my ability and to make the chance to go to the World Cup. So that's why I made that step. And at the end, I made the World Cup with 18, 19 years old.

• 32:40Ryan Clark?

  Yeah, you know, in that, in that World Cup, um, cause I just, this is the first time I've ever been to the pitch, to actually see the game, you know, in person. And I just, I'm sitting next to somebody, and I know they were pissed off with me, because I kept asking questions. I was like, man, they gotta play the whole game? Like, you can't sub? And then when they sub, they can't come back in? I know the dude next to me like, bro, if you don't shut the hell up. But I just, I was so excited to be there, but I also didn't understand it fully, you know? Being your age, making that late push to go to your first World Cup, you know, you may not get as many minutes as you would hope.

• 33:20Ryan Clark?

  But leading into this World Cup, I'm sure you, your expectations were different. When, and I don't know if it felt like this to you, here in the United States, football blew up, right? The Erling and, and the Nigerian goalkeeper, like, all of these people's lives changed. How difficult was it watching, fresh off of your injury, knowing you were supposed to be there, seeing the sport of football be on the main stage like that, now truly globally, because it had infected the United States as well?

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Like, the first World Cup, 18, 19, was for, okay, I'm happy that I'm here, and you know, I'm with the guys, let's learn, and we had to get some minutes. But this, this World Cup was, this is gonna be my World Cup. Like, I prepared myself this season for that, like, okay, we have the season with my club, but after the World Cup, um, this is gonna be mine. And yeah, seeing that World Cup, and I know it's in the United States as well, like, obviously you guys have other sports, but there was like the time, okay, football is gonna grow up here as well.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  It was hard, man. I, I don't know how many games in a World Cup it is, I don't know exactly, but I've watched maybe three games.

• 34:46Ryan Clark?

  So you didn't even watch it, really?

• 34:48Speaker 02

  I couldn't watch. Like, I remember, because I had first fresh operation, like, I was one and a half, two months, and my whole family was at home. My family, people that helping me with certain things, they were at home. And Argentina was playing the quarterfinal, so everyone was watching. I came from upstairs, I'm not gonna watch. I go to the swimming pool, I called my, my trainer, and they were training in the swimming pool, and everyone was watching, screaming, laughing. But for me, it was, I couldn't, I don't know. I watched the two games of my national team and one on a game for a friend, but I don't know, like, that feeling of, I should be there.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  That was mine, I don't know, I just was not able to, to, to look at it.

• 36:06Channing Crowder?

  Is that internally, because you can't be mad at yourself for getting hurt? Do you feel as if you were letting down your team? Like, for you not to watch it, for you to love it this much, and not watch it? Like I said, my injuries, I could still watch football, I go fishing too, but like, it wasn't, you know what I'm saying? But it wasn't like a, I'm not doing this. You seem like you saw, look, did you look at soccer and was like, why did you, why could you not watch this game that you love, you've loved your whole life?

• 36:33Speaker 02

  If I'm honest, you guys had, especially your surgery in these, I would never in my life think, like, okay, this actually can happen to me, like this injury, this long injury. I've seen a lot of players having the injury close to me, teammates, and, but I never thought like, okay, this can actually happen to me. And I know as an athlete, like, this is a bad one. So knowing that, and then as well, and at night, being alone in my bed, and that's where my game started. I don't know with you guys, how it happened with your injuries, but my game started at night, being alone in my bed, and knowing the World Cup is playing, um, the start of

• 37:16Speaker 02

  the next season, I'm not there, first time that I get like really long injury. And I had, actually, there is, I, I'd never told my family, like, I didn't sleep the whole night, I was crying at home.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  I just couldn't, couldn't believe that that happened to me, you know, so. And I don't know with you guys, but with my sport, that's my whole life, since I'm three years old, I was playing with my brother at home, I started at three years old, so I'm 23, so 20 years already into the sport and living for that, actually. My name is made, actually, because of a footballer. So everything in my life is, is football, football. Even at school, I remember going to school, and then, and they tell us, the teacher tell us, like, you have to have a Plan B, Xavi, so you have to put on, in a paper, the Plan B. So everyone was writing Plan B, and I was thinking like, what am I gonna put in Plan B?

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Like, I had no option, and I showed her, I had only Plan A, I didn't have Plan B or Plan C. And I remember she got pissed off, she sent me out of the class, Xavi, go outside of the class. You know, but I say, but it's not because I'm willing to piss you off, it's just because I just don't have, this is my Plan A. So that's why I'm living everything for it, yeah.

• 38:37Ryan Clark?

  Yeah, I tell people, we have that conversation all the time, and we did a show where we allowed our viewers to ask us questions. And one of the questions was like, how do you, how did you prepare for Plan B? And my answer was, I just was really good at Plan A. Right? Plan A often leads you to whatever that next thing is. But I do have a question, if you never had a Plan B. When you're in your room, and you're by yourself, and you're injured, and World Cup is going on without you, like you said, those mind games start, how often did you think to yourself, well, do I need a Plan B?

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Nah.

• 39:19Ryan Clark?

  Never.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  Never in my life. Like, I'm not allowing that to come into my head.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Like, obviously, it's hard, you know, playing and, you know, into the World Cup and stuff like that. But at the same time, I was thinking, look, I'm gonna be better, stronger. This happens for a reason. I'm a big believer as well, like, everything in life happens for a reason. And sometimes you don't understand it at the start, but afterwards you will see, like, you know, this is maybe because it had to be like this. This as well to form myself, better person, better player.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  And obviously, I had that battles in my head at the time. Now, I'm okay, all good, happy. But, yeah, even though having that battles, I never thought about having a plan B.

• 40:10Fred Taylor?

  Uh, let's talk about doubt a little bit.

• 40:14Fred Taylor?

  Those friends you mentioned, where they at now? Y'all still cool? Because you scored in a World Cup versus England. But they were saying, these are things you can't do. Like, y'all still okay?

• 40:28Speaker 02

  It's funny, because now with the injury, you have time for a lot of more things than only sport and training to having the rehab. And now, actually, I'm seeing more things about life. Like, maybe when you're in your routine every day, you just don't notice, like, okay, certain things in life, you're so focused or so dedicated that you don't have time. But now, actually, I can see things more openly and more wide and see other things. And if I'm honest with you, a lot of people that I maybe thought, like, they're gonna be with me in difficult times, they would be there for me. Was not the case.

• 41:05Fred Taylor?

  Yeah.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Especially with this, with this injury. Obviously, at the start, everyone sends you a message, you know. But afterwards, who was there with you? Who's asking you, "Chavi, are you good? How are you feeling?" And normally, I'm the one, like, with all my friends and with all my family, like, "Hey, you need something, I'm there for you. Uh, what do you want?" But now, it was the other way. So, a lot of people fell down in my life. And it's hurtful, because obviously, you love them. But then, at the same time, you see, like, oh, wait a minute. So, if there's storm, you're not there for me. And that's, that's hurtful, because I've always had that in my life. That, like, that little doubts, okay?

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Are you gonna be with me when, when it's a little bit dark or when it's difficult moments? But you're not willing to accept it, or you don't want to see it. And now, I can see it, like, really good. Like, okay, it's like this.

• 42:07Ryan Clark?

  I went through something, uh, recently, and I had somebody call me. Isaiah Thomas, Basketball Hall of Famer.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 42:16Ryan Clark?

  And, uh, he tells me, he's like, "You may not hear from me when everything is going great." He was like, "But when you're down, that's when I'll be here. That's when I'll check in." And it meant the world to me, because we have a relationship, but I haven't known him for years, you know? I didn't grow up with a, having conversations with him over the friendship, you know? We met recently. And he was just telling me, he was like, "I'm always watching, I'm always supporting, but when you're down, that's when you, I'm gonna make sure you hear from me. I'm gonna make sure you know that I'm in your corner." What did that process and that experience teach you about life?

• 42:59Speaker 02

  I'm 23, you guys are a little bit older than me, so...

• 43:02Ryan Clark?

  He's way older.

• 43:03Fred Taylor?

  Hey, I'm 15. I'm 46. He 43.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Hey, Chavi!

• 43:08Fred Taylor?

  They be trying to call me out on some bullshit.

• 43:12Channing Crowder?

  He taught the teacher that told you to get out of the class.

• 43:17Ryan Clark?

  But now, all jokes aside, though, what did the process of people not being there teach you?

• 43:24Speaker 02

  No, it, it's hard at the same time, because you love them. I just can't imagine, like, okay, you're not gonna be here or whatever. But for me, it's, it's a circle of life. It's, as well, like, it's a train, like, people go into your train and people step out of the train, but you're still going. And I think it's, it's part of, of life, it's part of the job. And even though it's hurtful, it's, it's just like this. And what I'm the most happy, why I'm more happy is because I know, okay, now I can see it, like, clearly, who is by my side as well in dark times and in moments that's not so good.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  And that's okay, it's everyone's own choice. But you're living with that, I would say.

• 44:13Channing Crowder?

  And the people around you, but also with this injury, like you said, first major injury.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:20Channing Crowder?

  So, the injury made you, it's your gift that God gave you to be a prodigy.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:26Channing Crowder?

  It's the passion, it's what makes you special, it's what makes you famous, it gives you money.

• 44:32Channing Crowder?

  You're gonna come back better, because now you, you lost that, that about you, you know what I'm saying? I would say, coming back from knee surgeries, I came back in better shape, stronger, because now, it's just the mental grind of, I gotta, I can't let anybody that doubts me be, be right. So, and we always say, a lot of people tell us, "I'm not trying to prove other people right or wrong. I'm trying to prove myself right." So, to lose that gift, do you kind of have that mindset? Because that's what I'm getting from you, that mindset of, "Okay, this soccer is something different that I was doing, I lost it. Watch when I get back on this damn pitch." I'm learning the lingo, "Watch when I get back on this pitch." Is that the kind of, is that what you, you're approaching it with?

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like when you're a baby and someone takes something from you. You know, that's the way I feel as well, like, someone took something from me and I need to get it back. And obviously, this, it happened, it happened for a reason. And I'm, that's the mentality that I have, like, the day when I'm on pitch, it will be different. I'm more hunger, I see things more clearly, I'm grateful that I'm here as well. That's something that, that's as well in this process, I noticed, like, you need to be grateful as well for just the little things, even your walking, even you can be with your family. That's something that hit me as well. So, what'd you say? Hunger for sure.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  I would, I can't wait to, to be back on the pitch.

• 45:59Fred Taylor?

  You said the first four days were the day, the worst part, the worst four days in your life. What I've noticed is, uh, a lot of guys that go through these major surgeries, procedures, a lot of their careers are derailed, not because of the injury itself, because a lot of addiction that comes with the painkillers and things that they have to use throughout, right? Uh, I know when I had my surgery, I hated the painkillers, because I didn't want to be constipated. Sorry, that's, that's a lot, but it fucks you up like that.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Bruh!

• 46:32Fred Taylor?

  But...

• 46:33Ryan Clark?

  The question started out so deep.

• 46:35Fred Taylor?

  It was deep, but I just had to throw that in there, because y'all don't know. A lot of people don't know what you go through in those four days.

• 46:42Fred Taylor?

  Hey, listen, it's crazy.

• 46:43Channing Crowder?

  Old people gotta take Metamucil.

• 46:46Fred Taylor?

  Nah, uh, but no, what I wanted to get to, I just wanted to say, you're already winning, because it doesn't seem that your life is derailed because of, like, the pain meds and stuff. But I did want to ask you, what's been the most challenging part throughout the rehab process? Because that's usually tougher than the injury itself.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Oh, good question. I think for me, now that I'm getting back to, I'm running already, I'm on pitch as well. For me, the most hard part is when I came back to the club after two months of the surgery. And I was with my teammates, all was good, I was really happy that I could speak with the guys again, I could see them. But the moment the guys leave to the pitch,

• 47:31Fred Taylor?

  Yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  I felt, I tell my family, I felt like kind of lonely, kind of, I don't know, really strange feeling. Like, suddenly, my mood changed, but...

• 47:42Fred Taylor?

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Like, if someone speak to me, I'm not the guy that was 10 minutes ago when the guys were there, like, smiling and making jokes. I was suddenly like, oof, that hit me. So, that, I think, is some of the more hard part. I don't know how you guys felt it, but in our training ground, you're sitting for the massage and, and everything, but you're seeing the pitch, so you're seeing the guys train. And that's for me, like, really, really hard, most difficult, challenging part.

• 48:11Ryan Clark?

  The only time I missed a lot of time playing football, I got sick, I got really sick. And, um, I missed basically half the season. And the time for me when it was hard would be when they would get on the bus and go to the airport.

• 48:25Fred Taylor?

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:26Ryan Clark?

  Right? Because not only did I know I wasn't playing, I also knew they were in an entirely different state. I wasn't gonna be there in any way, right? And that was the realization that things happen and life goes on. Right? The same way, like you said, at first, everybody's calling, and then nobody's, or people disappear.

• 48:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:51Ryan Clark?

  Right? Think about when you lose someone close to you. You know, you have the funeral, everybody's around, they're checking on you. You have, we call it a repass. Afterwards, everybody's sharing stories and memories. And all of a sudden, those people have to go on to their lives. And so, I can understand how, when they went to the pitch, that was something that hit you. You told your mother, "Mom, I promise you this." Right? "Mom, I promise you that." My question to you would be, what have you promised yourself?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  One thing that I promised myself as well, since early young ages, the day that I retire, and I look into myself, into the mirror, and I, and I can say, "Chavi, you've done it, you've done everything, you've done it all. You gave everything to the game. You sacrificed everything to the game." I would be happy as well, even though...

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Things, you wouldn't achieve your achievements, but I don't have that mindset. The mindset, I will achieve it. But if I went home and I looked to myself into the mirror and said to myself, ah, I've got to do this better. If I should do this, if I should sleep earlier or eat better, that's something that I will never, never forget, forgive myself.

• 50:06Ryan Clark?

  I love that.

• 50:07Channing Crowder?

  You talk about the sacrifice. We could see you. You're a good-looking young man.

• 50:13Ryan Clark?

  I knew this was coming.

• 50:13Channing Crowder?

  You're rich. Are you sacrificing, you know, the relationships for soccer? Because man, listen, I play football at a high level, but I could also, you know, high school. Did you, did you play seven minutes in heaven in high school in the closet?

• 50:28Ryan Clark?

  That might not be a game that travels across the water, Chan.

• 50:32Channing Crowder?

  Y'all play seven minutes in heaven? When y'all go in the closet with a girl and then y'all have seven minutes to do whatever y'all both want to do, you know, no force, no... Like, did you do normal kid shit with girls, your DM blowing up?

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Obviously, I do. I'm single, you know, so obviously, man, everyone does his thing, you know? But, yeah, for me, it's like, obviously, you're tunnel vision and everything. But I think sometimes, when I was younger, I had really hard, like, it was for me really hard to disconnect from the game. And when I was 18, 19, I said to myself, no, you have to allow yourself as well to, to go get out a little bit and see other things, obviously with responsibility. But obviously, birthdays of my friends or whatever it is, I just go enjoy myself, yeah.

• 51:20Ryan Clark?

  Well, you know, Chavi, when you start getting around 18, 19, other things start happening too now. Like, he acting like I just matured and realized I need to have a life.

• 51:30Channing Crowder?

  Yeah, with the soccer ball.

• 51:31Ryan Clark?

  Yeah, man.

• 51:34Ryan Clark?

  Other things happen too when you get 18, 19, when you've been tunnel vision.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Let me tell you, let me tell you guys an experience.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  I was 17 in Paris. And I remember it was the birthday of Neymar. And, yeah, he invited all the guys. He made a big party. But we had first the game. So I knew this game was against one of the lowest teams of the league. So maybe I had the chance to get some minutes, you know? I was 17. So I was happy, you know, okay, we're playing. The game start, paf, 1-0, paf, 2-0, 3-0. I'm thinking like, yeah, you know, I will get some minutes today. I was 17 at the time. So the game goes on and it's 5-0, 6-0, and I'm not coming in.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  And I'm thinking like, okay, imagine this is against one of the lowest teams. Imagine if you're playing against a big team, you would not have the chance to play. So I remember we won, everyone was happy, you know? Neymar had his birthday party. And I remember, I was like, nah, I will not go. I didn't play. I didn't play, you know? So I came home, I was, I was angry and I was... And my brother came to me and said, "Chavi, you need to go, it's the birthday." I said, "No, I don't go." He said, "What? You're crazy, you have to go there." I said, "No, I'm not going, I'm not going." My friends calling me, "What are you, we already..." "I'm not coming." But now, thinking of now, I would say you're so stupid.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  You should, you should go, you know, at 70 years old, enjoy it as well, you know? Neymar invited you to go to his birthday, just go. My mom also asked me, "You have to go, you know, enjoy life." I said, "No, no, no, I don't go." And next day I came to the club. Everything, everyone's stories, ah, this happened, this was that. And I was thinking like, shit.

• 53:30Ryan Clark?

  Hey, I'm beyond it with you. At 17, whether I played no minutes or not, I'd have showed up to Neymar's party in my jersey.

• 53:36Channing Crowder?

  Guarantee that party was worth going to.

• 53:38Ryan Clark?

  It was worth going to.

• 53:40Fred Taylor?

  Were you, were you motivated or starstruck? To be around guys like Mbappe, Neymar, all, like, these guys are legendary. Like, were you, did that motivate you? Or were you kind of like, nah, like, what? Go back and see.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  That, like, having that guys around, I saw like, really like, okay, these guys have been into the top a lot of years and have been the best. So that time, I saw like, all the sacrifice that I did. And, and I saw like, okay, I want to be there. So I have to give this. I need to go there, so I need to sacrifice this. Because I was seeing every day what the guys were doing, like, going to the gym two hours, going to training, eating good, everything. So I said to myself, you know, they are doing it. They already won everything. They have all the money, they have all, everything what they want in life. And I'm a young guy from 16, 17, and I want to be there.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  So I need to do this as well to one day become like them.

• 54:42Channing Crowder?

  Just hear me out on this one.

• 54:46Channing Crowder?

  Because the World, the World Cup was here. And I started, this is the first time I really watched a bunch of soccer. Because there was all the stars and Erling, the big old, the big old white boy with the, with the ponytail. I got into it. I fixed soccer. Just, once y'all get the ball past midfield, don't send that bastard back the other way. You have to keep it down here.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  It's difficult, huh?

• 55:08Channing Crowder?

  But it's like, now, now do your thing.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  How you do it for 90 minutes? Like, just attack, attack. Minute 40, you're already dead. Like, there's a moment that, you know, we attack, we go to the defense, we play. You guys is just, you guys hit the middle, you have to go, you know? But us is like, yeah, 90 minutes, we don't have like pause or whatever. After 45 minutes, then you have the pause.

• 55:34Channing Crowder?

  We go away.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I think now, in our sport, like, now you only have like machines, like robots, like, people are just fit, strong, fast. Even young guys from my generation or whatever, for guys 40, Cristiano Ronaldo is, how old, 42, something like that? And this guy is like, he is 23, like, his body is crazy, you know? So now you have to be like fit to actually want to play 90 minutes, you know?

• 56:05Fred Taylor?

  We have Tremenio, right? He's big as fuck, too.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  You say Erling, Erling is a machine.

• 56:11Ryan Clark?

  Monster. But he also walks around a lot.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but because he's a striker, it's different a little bit, you know? He can like temporize his game and okay, accelerate it. This is the moment I need to run, I go. You know, for example, midfield or, or the wingers. You have to run, man. If you don't, if you don't run, you go to the bench.

• 56:31Ryan Clark?

  Right.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  You know? So that's, that's why, yeah.

• 56:34Fred Taylor?

  We always ask our guests, what's their biggest pivot in life? That's the one moment you can look back on and say, because this happened to me or for me, I am who I am today.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  I would say the moment that I left Barcelona. That was the moment, like, all the negativity that happens around my name and everything,

• 56:58Speaker 02

  the hard moments at that time as well, not understanding why things were like that. I think that made me even more stronger and more knowing where I want to go and where I want to belong to. So that was definitely the most inspiring moment for me, yeah.

• 57:14Fred Taylor?

  For sure.

• 57:14Ryan Clark?

  I'm gonna say this, man. No one's ever sat on our show and looked cooler, though. I keep looking at this cup you're using, you know? Hey, it's like the coolest cup I've ever seen. My dog got a dooie on, two earrings.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  You guys have to try it.

• 57:29Ryan Clark?

  Hey, he got an accent. Nah, I saw Ted Lasso, they say that, he say that, TB Pool. I'm gonna just get some coffee.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  You a coffee guy?

• 57:35Ryan Clark?

  Yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 57:36Ryan Clark?

  I'm a coffee guy. But nah, man, you know, I know we've been trying to get this together. So like I told you when we spoke earlier, really grateful that you allowed us to do this. And the coolest part about this show is getting to talk to people with different experiences, not only in their careers, but lives that grew up in different places. Like, I learned so much, man, just getting a chance to sit down and chop it up with you, man. So we appreciate you, bro. Best of luck on your recovery, you know? We can't wait to the next World Cup, you know what I'm saying? We'll be tapped in, we'll get our jersey.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  For sure, to a game, we'll be good.

• 58:07Ryan Clark?

  My man, appreciate you, brother. I was looking at it like when he poured that joint. He looked so cool, man. My dog, appreciate you, brother. Yes, sir.