What Are You Doing With Your Life? An 89 Year Old’s Best Advice for You

You are in for a treat today. You’re getting The Mel Robbins Podcast on the go! Last week, my mother-in-law, Judie, walked into our kitchen in Vermont and announced that she’s planning a big adventure, starting on her 90th birthday. She and her partner, John, have decided to backpack around Europe for a year. I KNOW!!! Yes, a 90-year-old woman and her boyfriend in his late 80s are shaking things up and backpacking around Europe. I was dying to know the story behind this decision. So I rounded everyone up - Judie, my husband Chris, and our two dogs, Yolo and Homie - and we headed outside for a walk. And I grabbed my phone and pressed record to capture the entire thing. Which means you’re coming on the walk with us to hear how this adventure came about. I promise you, you’re going to be so inspired by her message: Don’t wait. Don’t wait to do the things you’ve been meaning to do. Don’t wait to call the person you love. Don’t wait for the perfect time. Time is ticking, so if there’s something you want to do, make a decision and start figuring out how. I know you’re going to absolutely love this conversation and be inspired when you're done taking this walk with us. Chris' dad died almost 20 years ago, so I feel so lucky to still have both of my parents (hi mom and dad!) and Judie alive and in our lives. I love listening to their stories, hearing how they see the world, and learning from everything they've been through. And the older I get, the more I realize just how much wisdom they have to share. Today’s message is simple: you get one life. It’s easy to forget that the people we love won’t be here forever. We think we have time, and that’s why we put off so many things. This conversation will inspire you to stop waiting and go for the things you’ve been putting off while you still can. Time isn’t waiting for us to be ready. And look, you don't have to do anything nearly as adventurous as what Judie and John have planned for next year. Maybe there's a friend you've been meaning to call… a place you've always wanted to visit… a class you keep telling yourself you’re going to sign up for… a book you want to write… a business you want to start… or something completely new you'd love to try. Maybe you want to visit your grandson in college or go see your niece's new baby. When you hear what made Judie decide that NOW is the time for this adventure, you'll understand why now is the time for you to do something too. I bet as you listen, you'll think of someone who inspires you. Send this episode to them and tell them why. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: Reinvent Yourself At Any Age: Ina Garten Shares the Secret to Transforming Your Life Mel also wants to tell you: Try the 23g protein shot I drink every single morning Join 2 million readers loving my weekly newsletter - full of tips, tools, and inspiration The Let Them Theory: read the book everyone’s talking about Watch the episodes on YouTube Connect with me on Instagram Follow the show’s Instagram for clips, behind the scenes, and more Find some daily positivity on my TikTok Want zero ads? Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Today on the Mel Robbins Podcast, we are going to go on a walk with my 89-year-old mother-in-law. She just stopped by and told me the craziest decision that she is making to change her life and do something incredible in the next six months. So, we're going to take you on a walk with us and we're going to jump into that walk and this episode after a short word from our incredible sponsors. This is going to be incredible, right Judy?

• 0:35Speaker 01

  What?

• 0:36Speaker 00

  We're going to do an episode and we're going to go on a walk together.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Okay, good.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  And you're going to tell everybody this decision that you've made at 89 to go do something

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Okay?

• 0:49Speaker 01

  I'm ready.

• 0:50Speaker 00

  You're ready. I think it's going to inspire everybody to make a major change. Because who would think at 90, you would change it up this much?

• 0:55Speaker 01

  That's, you better change it by 90 because I'm running out of time.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Well, you're going to make the most of it and we're going to inspire you to make the most of yours. All right. Before we get started, I want to invite you to stick around later in the episode for a special segment presented by our new sponsor, JetBlue, which is one of my favorite airlines. I'm going to share with you some simple travel rituals that will help you rest, reset, and get things done and arrive at your destination feeling your best. Trust me, you do not want to miss this one. The Mel Robbins Podcast is brought to you by Expedia. Let me tell you about Expedia One Key because somewhere along the way, rewards got so complicated. You've got loyalty programs, point system, tiers, promo codes.

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• 3:13Speaker 00

  Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins and today, I am so excited, I'm going to take you on a walk. You're going to go on a walk with me and my 89-year-old mother-in-law, JJ, and my husband and our two dogs. And I wanted to do this because my mother-in-law just burst into our house to share some exciting news about a decision that she has made about what she wants to change and an adventure that she wants to go on in the next year of her life at the age of 90. It's pretty crazy and so, we're going to bring you on a walk. Now, I'm going to be trying to film this, we'll see how this goes, but I'm thrilled that you're here with me. Let's start the show. All right, you ready to go for a walk?

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  All right, let's do this. I cannot wait for you to share this crazy decision that you have made with everybody.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  With the world.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  With the world. Well, this is, this is amazing what you've decided to do at 89. And so, I want you to tell the whole story, okay?

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll tell the whole story.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  Because if you can make a decision like this to do something and switch it up at your age, anybody can make this decision at any age. I love this. Okay, all right, so Jude.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  Let's reverse to when you came into the kitchen and you tell me, tell me what, what happened. So, you were, you were literally, start with you went to New York to see the thing, you took a gummy, let's start there.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Do I have to tell the world?

• 4:42Speaker 00

  Why not?

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Okay. So, I went to New York with my partner, John, and we went out to dinner, we had a gummy, and then we went and saw Luminary at St. Pat's, which is the most amazing light show you've ever seen.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  So, St. Pat's is what?

• 5:00Speaker 01

  St. Patrick's Cathedral.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Church, you know, in New York.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  So, afterwards, we were, we went, oh, afterwards, we went to the St. Regis to have a port, which is, they have a wonderful bar at the St. Regis.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  And I said to John, I had this vision, I said, "Why don't we just drop everything and go away for a year to Europe? And you've got all sorts of places you want to travel that I've already been to and that you never have? And we'll just put a backpack on and get on a train and go."

• 5:38Speaker 00

  Okay, now, how old are you?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  I'll be 90 next September, or I was just 89.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  And how old is John?

• 5:45Speaker 01

  He'll be 85.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Okay, so, he's a, ooh, you're a cradle robber lady.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  I am. I'm a cougar.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  You are so funny. Okay, so, he's 85.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  You're 89 and you're proposing to your partner, John, that you guys rent your houses, get backpacks, and you go to Europe.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:15Speaker 00

  For how long?

• 6:16Speaker 01

  A year.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  A year?

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Well, we're

• 6:19Speaker 00

  At 90?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, first of all, I don't, we don't have to use sticks.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  So, you have so many friends that have sticks, what does that mean?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  You know, walking sticks. Because they don't have any balance. And I said to John, "If we're as in good a shape as we're in now,

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Let's take advantage of it. Why wait? What are we waiting for?" You know, so many people say, "Oh, well, okay, I'll do that next week." Now, I have to tell you that one of the impetus that got me going was this very good friend of ours, who is 62-years-old, just died in a car crash three weeks ago. And at the memorial service, this cousin said, "Just remember one thing, don't wait. Don't wait to say I love you. Don't wait to go to your favorite restaurant. Don't wait to take that trip you've always wanted to. Just do it." And that's what I want to do now, because I, because I can.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  That's true. I mean, at 89, because you've been walking every day for the last 30 years and you do resistance training, you take good care of yourself, you can do it. And what I find amazing is that I think a lot of people start to, as they get older, you start to think you're just kind of stuck where you are? And for you at your age to say, "Wait a minute, I don't want to keep doing life the way I've been doing it." Because you also, normally, you, like a lot of people, go to a warmer place for the winter. And you also had something interesting to say about the fact that you're sick of mahjong. Like, tell me a little bit more about that.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Well, it's just that I never want to complain because I have a beautiful life.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  So, it isn't a complaint, but I'm tired of, in the summertime, going to the club for dinner, playing bridge, playing golf. Now, that's a terrible thing to say, that I'm tired of that when I'm so privileged, but it's just that it's a routine. I've been doing it. I'm now moving into the last stage of my life and I'd like to do something different. And by the way, I used to live in London. So, going back to London, I said to John, "It's really kind of weird. I lived in London with my husband and I'm returning with my lover."

• 8:54Speaker 01

  And no children.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  Now that makes it even better.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  Well, I just am very inspired by this idea that you can have a good life. And you can at any moment wake up and say, hey, wait a minute. Like, why am I waiting to shake things up? You can always come back. You can always change your mind if you're renting your place. And I also love that at your age, you have so many friends that live in so many places that you've been talking about the fact that you can live. You can actually rent in somebody's flat that you know in London.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Well, we don't know that we can do that yet.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  If we have to rent from somebody we don't know, we just hope we can find a place to rent.

• 9:37Speaker 00

  Of course you can. So what does John, your lover and partner, say about this?

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Well, John is a complete opposite kind of person than me.

• 9:47Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  He likes everything organized, everything in a place. He's a news junkie, so he likes to sit and get his computer. And I'm just the opposite. I'd rather sit with a book and go into La La Land, you know, somebody else's than facts.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  I know, I don't, it just doesn't do it for me. And he also has a house and he worries about his house. He likes to take care of it.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Of course. I mean, that's a big deal to go away for a year.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Yes. So.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  And I love that at 85 and 90, you guys are gonna get backpacks and just go.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Oh, and then John said, backpack? No, I'm not a backpack kind of guy. I said, well, okay, you take your suitcase, I'll take the backpack. I have smaller clothes.

• 10:37Speaker 00

  Oh, my God. Why do you think it's important to recognize that you can mix things up anytime you want?

• 10:46Speaker 01

  I think the thing that people have to remember is that you have no guarantee that there's tomorrow. So mix things up now. I mean, you and I and Christopher are taking a walk. This is a terrible thing to say, but this might be the last time we ever walk on this loop.

• 11:06Speaker 00

  Oh, God, don't say that.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't want it to be a downer, but it's the truth.

• 11:11Speaker 00

  It's true.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  You know? So when you said, let's take a walk, and I said, oh, I don't know, it might be too cold.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  So I said, you know, it's never too cold. As long as you can walk, get out and walk.

• 11:24Speaker 00

  It's true. Oh, you know what? Judy and Chris, I see somebody coming up with a dog. So let's get the dogs on a leash. And this is a great moment to take a pause, let our sponsors share a few words. And don't go anywhere, because we're gonna be right back here on this walk with you when we return after this short break, so stay with me.

• 11:48Speaker 00

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• 12:33Speaker 00

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• 13:17Speaker 00

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• 14:39Speaker 00

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• 14:54Speaker 00

  Welcome back. It's your friend, Mel Robbins, and today you're on a walk with us. We're here with my 89-year-old mother-in-law, JJ, and my husband, Chris, and our dogs. It's a beautiful, beautiful day in Vermont. And we're talking about this theme, don't wait. All right, so Judy. I'll take this from you. Great job, Chris. I think it's the most spectacular fall we've ever seen, ever.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  I do, well.

• 15:22Speaker 00

  I mean, I went, you know, having gone to college in New Hampshire, having come here for 33 years, I've never seen a fall this.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  This spectacular.

• 15:29Speaker 00

  Extraordinary.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  I know.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Homie, come here.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  I like this theme of don't wait. Don't wait.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Don't wait.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  You've put up so many reasons, whether, well, our kids are little, or, well, my job. Don't wait. What if you decided, okay, I'm gonna create a new chapter right now? Like, absolutely, as you're listening to this, whether you're 89 like Judy, or you're 58 like me, it takes everything in me to not try to micromanage Chris. Watch out for the dogs, as if he doesn't even, if he doesn't know how to do that. But whether you're 58 like me, or 56 like Chris, I'm a cougar, too, I guess.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  You're cute.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  Don't wait. Like, if I were to say to you, okay, you've got six months or a year to figure out how to get a backpack and go to Europe and be in Europe for a year. I bet if you gave yourself six months to a year to figure it out, you could do it, because you're gonna start this in August, and that's like eight months from now.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  I know. No. Oh, yeah, that's true.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Information that we have today, that's a lot of time.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  That's a lot of time. AI could help you figure out.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Oh, well, John is so good at that. Every time we travel, he goes to AI. And next thing you know, we're going from Seattle to Roseburg, Oregon, and there's like 20 places that we have to stop to see, you know, this view and these woods and... Because AI tells you, these are the things you should see.

• 17:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. So Judy, talk to us about this funeral that inspired you to shake things up, and what it's like at 89 to have so many friends that are, you know, dying and that are deteriorating or struggling with dementia, like.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  You know, I think, Mel, that the actual, the memorial service that I went to this weekend was after the fact. I'd already made up my mind I wanted to go away. I think what really got to me was, I play duplicate bridge at my club on Wednesdays.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  And our instructor, we had dinner with him.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  And I said, you know what? I looked around the room at bridge tonight, and I said to myself, you know, in five years, none of us are gonna be here.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do about bridge? We're all old. And he said, it's a dying game in many ways, because your generation isn't picking it up. You're not playing bridge. And that's when I really started thinking, in five years, if none of us are gonna be playing bridge, then we better do whatever we want to do now.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  Just get up and do it. It's, Mel, it's very much like your first aha, when you decided that you had to get out of bed.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Five, four, three, two, one.

• 18:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Okay, it's the same kind of feeling. Just do it.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  That's true. What are we all sitting around waiting for?

• 18:45Speaker 01

  What are we waiting for? It's like waiting for Godot. Did you ever see that?

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Long time ago.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Oh, long time ago.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Funny, because we're waiting for the right time, and yet time is the thing that's most precious.

• 18:59Speaker 00

  Time is not waiting for us.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Exactly. Well, you know what? We're all into making excuses.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  We all make excuses. And one of the things, years and years and years ago.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  My husband and I went to EST, E-S-T.

• 19:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  And they had taught us all sorts of things. But one of the things that I remember so vividly is, when you go someplace, you should get there on time, because you're told that you are gonna be there at 6:30. Go be there at 6:30. But the one thing that you should remember is, if you're late.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  You're late, period. There's no excuse. You don't have to go on and on and on about the traffic, or my children, or whatever. The point is that you're late. And I don't know where I'm going with this.

• 19:51Speaker 00

  I don't either.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  No, I don't know. No, I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess there's no excuses. Oh, I know where I was going. Where we say, oh, well, I can't do it now. I can do it tomorrow.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Because I would think at 89, you've got a lot of reasons not to just throw it all up in the air, change plans, go figure it out, rent out your place, go rent somebody else's place, go spend a year somewhere else. But I guess when I really stop and think about it, time's more precious because you have less of it.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Yes, for sure. And I think about it all the time.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Well, you know, when you're young, you think about where you're going to go to college, if you're going to get married, what kind of a career am I going to have? All the things, the house that I'm going to buy. Now, at my age, I think about, I know this is sounding morbid, where is my memorial service going to be? How many years do I have left?

• 21:03Speaker 00

  How many years do you think you have left?

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Well, every year that I have another birthday, I add on another year. I used to think, well, if I could live to 90, that would be great. Well, since that's next year, that's not long enough. So I think I'd like to live to about 98. Maybe 100 if I had a mind. I don't want to lose my mind.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  I said to Christopher, if I lose my mind, you just shoot me.

• 21:39Speaker 00

  Will you stop? Do not say that. Well, you won't know what's happening anyway, so we're doing no such thing.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 21:49Speaker 00

  I think it's important to have a number in mind because it gives you something to look forward to and to live for.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 21:55Speaker 00

  Otherwise, you're just biding your time, which I hate to say. I increasingly notice that the older folks in my life seem to just kind of, I don't know.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Waiting for good old.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  Waiting. Waiting for the time to pass. Here we go to... Well, the thing is, is that we're waiting for the right time, but time is not waiting for us. And I found it so inspiring how you just waltz right into our kitchen this morning and said, guess what? I have an idea. I think John and I are going to go live in Europe for a year. And I'm thinking, wait, what?

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 22:36Speaker 00

  Girl, you're 90.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  I haven't really convinced John yet. He's a little more of a stick and mud. But Chinese torture will do it.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  Just keep going and going and going. Well, I love this idea because you can have a really good life. You can have worked hard to be in a really good routine, and it works for a while. And then, all of a sudden, you just have this epiphany that even though you're grateful for what you have, and even though the routine is nice and enjoyable, that you just want something different. You want to experience something different. And I find it very inspiring that at 89, you have the epiphany, wow, I want to shake things up. And so what did you turn to your... What did you turn to John and say?

• 23:27Speaker 01

  I said, I know this is crazy, but what do you think about just going and living in Europe for a year? And he said, you're out of your mind.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  He's like, bartender, can we get another cocktail over here?

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Cut her off, is what he should have said. But you weren't out of your mind. You were very clear.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  No, I was very clear. And I had to point out all the things that he could do.

• 23:54Speaker 00

  Like what?

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Well, he could rent his house. I don't have to rent mine. And I can't rent here in Vermont because all the kids keep coming into my house, so...

• 24:04Speaker 00

  Okay. All right, so he could rent his house. What else?

• 24:07Speaker 01

  He has to do something with his cat.

• 24:09Speaker 00

  Yep, okay. We're not going to discuss that, but keep going.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  So he just kept looking at me like she's nuts. And I said, you know, you are healthy. Who knows? You might have lose your mind, like half of our friends have, next year. And we'll go anyhow. You just won't remember. Oh, God.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  So you didn't get a yes at the bar?

• 24:37Speaker 01

  No, he still thought...

• 24:39Speaker 00

  You got a huh?

• 24:40Speaker 01

  That was three days ago. He still thinks I'm crazy.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  Okay. And then tell me what happened, because then you go to a funeral.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Oh, then, yesterday, I went to this memorial service, which was so beautiful as they put her ashes into the Baton Rouge River. We all threw flowers.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Tell me what they did. It sounds really beautiful.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  A friend of mine's sister died in this car crash. She was 62. And he'd had the same memorial service for his wife, like six years ago, where they put the ashes into the river. And then we all threw flowers into the river on top...

• 25:21Speaker 00

  Oh, of the ashes? Beautiful.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  It was amazing. And that's when her cousin was talking about, don't wait. He was saying that he had talked to Carol like two weeks ago at night and said, when he hung up the phone, before he hung up the phone, he said, we'll talk about it tomorrow morning when we have coffee.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  And she said, great, I'll see you tomorrow morning. And tomorrow morning came at 6:30, and she hit a truck, and that was the end of her life. So he was saying, my message is, don't wait. You know, why did we have to wait till tomorrow morning? Why didn't we just get together that morning? You know what I'm saying?

• 26:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Anyway, that just solidified more for me to say to John, let's not wait. Let's just do it now while we can.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  Okay, we've come to a hill on the walk, and as you can tell, we're panting. So let's go to a commercial break and give our sponsors a chance to share a few words and give us a chance to catch our breath. And don't go anywhere. When we return, we'll be waiting for you on this amazing, inspiring, and glorious walk here in southern Vermont. Stay with us.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  I'm going to come right out and say it. I am absolutely thrilled that JetBlue is a new sponsor of the Mel Robbins Podcast. You want to know why? I freaking love JetBlue. JetBlue is my favorite airline. And my most favorite thing that JetBlue has? They have this experience called Mint. When you are going on a long haul or coast-to-coast travel, flying Mint by JetBlue is, for me, it's like a vacation. I feel like I'm checking into an eight-star hotel. You have lie-flat seats, fast, free Wi-Fi. They partner with some of the world's best restaurants. You get a three-course meal that's delicious. You will not even believe how delicious it is. Consider Mint, a little pre-vacation vacation,

• 27:28Speaker 00

  where you rest, dine, relax, and then you step off the plane? Oh, my gosh, you're like, why am I even on vacation? I just flew Mint. I mean, come on, this isn't air travel. This is an experience. Visit jetblue.com to learn more and book your next trip. You know what I did this weekend? I got my flu shot at CVS, and it was so painless, I now feel invincible. You know, part of my fall routine includes a very important thing, going to CVS Pharmacy to get a flu shot because your annual flu shot helps strengthen your body's natural defenses against the flu virus. Flu shots at CVS are free with most insurance. And you can even schedule up to four family members at one appointment. In fact, Chris and I went together.

• 28:13Speaker 00

  It was so easy. You just log in online, you select your time, and we got our shots done. Get a $5 off $20 coupon with your flu shot. Visit CVS.com/flu or the CVS app to schedule an appointment. Additional restrictions apply. Offer not available in Arkansas, New Jersey, or New York. Visit CVS.com/vaccines for details. Flu shots are free with most insurance. Eligibility varies by patient and insurance plan. Additional restrictions apply. Visit CVS.com/flu for details. The Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. Every podcast listener has a story, the milestones you'll always remember, the traditions that have been passed down over the generations,

• 28:58Speaker 00

  the moments that make being a part of your family mean something. At Amica, they know the things that matter are worth protecting. And showing up for those moments year after year is how trust is earned. That's why customers stay with Amica three times longer. Visit amica.com and get a quote today.

• 29:22Speaker 00

  Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins and we are at the top of the hill. We're catching our breath and we're so glad you're here on this walk with us. We're talking about why in life it is so important to stop waiting. Shake up your routine. Create the experiences that you want. I don't care how old you are. JJ's been telling you at the age of 89, her big plans to spend nine months to a year backpacking around Europe with her lover, as she puts it. So let's just jump right back in, Jude. What's it like to be 89?

• 29:54Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm lucky, Mel, at 89. Because I'm still healthy. I still have my mind. I can still do all the things that I've always done, a little slower. Like, we're walking at a pace where I could be a little out of breath. But as long as I'm so lucky and so fortunate, then I... Well, let me back up. Your podcast-

• 30:22Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  -that you did with Oprah-

• 30:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  -really hit home to me. And I don't listen to all your podcasts, but that one in particular, I did. And Oprah said, "We're all been put here for a reason." Not necessarily things happen for a reason, but we're here." Because she's very spiritual, as you said. And she felt that she had tapped you, more or less, to take her place, which I thought was pretty powerful. And she said, "You need to figure out why you're here." "What is the reason that you're here on this earth?" And that, I really started to think about it. And there are two things. One, I'm a connector. I know that.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  So, but more importantly, I know that I'm an inspiration. And I've had so many people say to me, "Oh, my God, you really inspire me." You know, "You still walk four miles a day. You do this, you do this." And so, what Oprah says, "If you realize why you're here, don't stop." In other words, just because I figured out that I'm an inspiration at 89, doesn't mean that I can just sit back and rest on my laurels. I have to continue being an inspiration. And this certainly will inspire more people.

• 31:47Speaker 00

  Well, it also inspires you.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 31:49Speaker 00

  You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not even just-

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Not out there.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  It's not necessarily out there. It's that you've got to live your life in a way that you continue to be inspired.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  And when you get to a moment in your life, and it can hit you at any moment, John Grisham came on the podcast and talked about these golden moments. When a light goes off inside you and you never see it coming and you're forever changed. And I would say that moment at the St. Regis Bar where you're like, right after the light show at the St. Patrick's Cathedral, when you have this light go off and you say, "Wait a minute. How about we go live in Europe? How about we backpack? Why don't we do that?" Like, even though I'm 90 and you're going to be, you're in your late 80s. Like, let's change. That's an example of what it means to be an inspiration. Let's leash them up, Chris.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  Boys, boys, come on. Good boys. Get the dogs on the leash. Hold on, let me pass in, because if they start barking-

• 32:50Speaker 01

  We're talking about money and how people react to money. And I think it's inbred. Like, my dad, for instance. No money. The electricity could be turned off. But as soon as he got some client to buy some insurance, he'd be at the antique store buying a silver service. And then he'd bring it home and then my mother would have to return it. Because there wasn't any money. But I think I have that mentality of my father. Like, I don't worry about it, as long as-

• 33:23Speaker 00

  I'm that way, too.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  You're not.

• 33:25Speaker 00

  The more I think about money, the less I make. The more I don't worry about it and I... I'm a very big saver, though.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Well, I say-

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Having almost lost everything.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I'm a saver, but I also can spend.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  I thought it was very interesting what you were saying, though, because the idea of doing something exciting and changing things up and, you know, using your savings or being more strategic and intentional. You were saying that another thing that happens as an excuse for friends, people your age or 89, is that you've noticed that people your age don't want to spend the money they've saved because they think they're supposed to keep it for their kids.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  But that seems stupid, that you would limit your own life and rob yourself of experiences.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  But everybody feels that way when you get older. We don't want to leave, we don't want to die without leaving money.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  Well, let's talk about that, because I don't live my life as if my parents owe me anything.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Well, I know and I don't-

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Or they're leaving me anything.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  I don't think you, you kids, expect us that we owe you something or that your parents owe you. I think it's just a mentality and I think that when you get to be older, you're going to think, you know, "I want to leave some money for my kids." That's all.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I understand that. I guess I'm just saying, like, if... That's a wonderful and beautiful thing to do. And I also would hate to think of someone who has the opportunity to travel or to do things at the end of their life, that they're not doing it so that they can leave the money to somebody else.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Well, I agree with you 100%, but unfortunately, I don't think that's how people feel. And it's just something that's in our... Forever, it's been like that. Parents feel like that. And I don't think it can change.

• 35:18Speaker 00

  Well, it can change.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Well, it can. I mean, I'm a-

• 35:21Speaker 00

  Absolutely can change.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  But there's one other thing I wanted to add, and Christopher will remember this. When we were sitting at the table and Christopher was only about 11-

• 35:32Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Actually, we weren't. We were traveling with his father. And Christopher just sat at the table with his hands like this. And everybody was asking him questions and he would just kind of nod. And I said to Christopher, "There's one thing that you should remember. If you're not interested, you will not be interesting." And just think about that. If you're not interested in the other person, you're not an interesting person. And when you get to be old, like me, people really don't want to be around old people. Because they're boring. They are boring. You know, they're going to tell you about their childhood and their college

• 36:18Speaker 01

  and their marriage and who cares? But, so, I think that it's important, not only to do something now, because you can, do something that you think is interesting and is fun. And guess what? You can regurgitate it back to your family or whomever and stop talking about your aches and pains. And Christopher, don't you-

• 36:42Speaker 00

  It's true, because it does seem even at 58, everyone's talking about how this hurts or that hurts or the other thing.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Everybody talks about their, how they feel. And do we really care?

• 36:52Speaker 00

  No.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  I mean, if you're throwing up, I don't want you doing that on my carpet, but-

• 36:56Speaker 00

  No.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  You'll take care of yourself.

• 36:59Speaker 00

  I love this idea that you need to push yourself to keep shaking things up because it keeps your life interesting and then you have interesting experiences to share and interesting people that you're going to meet.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Exactly, exactly. Just think of all the people you'll meet if you travel around to all these different countries. And particularly with someone like John, we're both chatterboxes.

• 37:23Speaker 00

  Well, if you don't have the means to do it, I think there are ways that you can take this, because it's a really important point, Chris, and just stop and ask yourself, "Is your routine too routine? Have you gotten bored of your own life?"

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  "Have you squeezed all the juice from this chapter?" And if you're kind of bored with your routine, then that's the only answer that you need. And it tells you that it's time to shake things up.

• 37:59Speaker 00

  That even at 89, you're still meant to grow and explore and learn and, you know, push yourself into new chapters. And it doesn't require you to go live in a different country or go travel backpacking for a year. It requires you to wake up and make a decision that you're a little bored of your life, and that's okay. It means you worked hard to build what you've built. You work where you work. You see the people you see. You move through your day how you move through your day. You eat what you eat. And at any moment, you can decide, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this routine. I want to experience something new. I think what's interesting about making a decision

• 38:43Speaker 00

  is the moment you go from thinking about it to saying, I'm doing it. All of a sudden, your mind shifts. And you go from seeing the excuses to seeing possibility.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just need to let the consideration of doing it percolate a little bit, then it starts to come alive.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  You're just not stuck. You're not stuck in your routine. You're not stuck where you live. You're not stuck in this pattern. You're not stuck in this version. And even when you change and you move or you take on an adventure or figure out how to do it, you're not stuck in it either. Oh, my God, I'm always out of breath.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  I am too. I gotta stop.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:29Speaker 00

  So glad you said that. This is the most glorious hall I've ever seen.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  There's one saying that one should always remember, and you know it. It's, "The past is history. The future, a mystery. The present is a gift." That's why we call it a present.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  It's beautiful. So live in the present. Live in the present. Thoughts, Jude?

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Chris? Harding words.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  Harding words. Don't wait. That's all I have to say to all of you. If you have one thing you want to do, if you have a phone call to a friend that you haven't talked to, call them today. Don't wait.

• 40:22Speaker 00

  If you have a chapter you want to live, begin it.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  Don't wait.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Well, Judy, I love you.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  I love you too, Mel.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  I'm so excited for you.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 40:33Speaker 00

  Poor John doesn't have a chance. You've already decided what's happening. He's thinking she's already going.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  Okay. Well, thanks for going on a walk with me and my mother-in-law, my husband, Chris, and our dogs. I hope that this inspired you to shake things up, change your routine, create a new chapter. Don't wait. You get one life. And I really hope that you decide to do something really interesting to you in the next year. And in case no one else tells you this, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And a better life is not one that you create by waiting. You create it by deciding to make a better and interesting and adventurous while you still can.

• 41:24Speaker 00

  Oh, I'll welcome you into the next episode. The moment you play. I'll see you there.

• 41:35Speaker 00

  This segment is sponsored by JetBlue. JetBlue is my absolute favorite airline. And let me tell you about Mint, which is JetBlue's take on business class. It's like a vacation itself. I'm talking fully lie-flat seats so you can rest, world-class food from award-winning chefs, fast, free Wi-Fi. I could go on. So do yourself a favor and give Mint a try on your next trip. And I know a thing or two about traveling. I'm not proud to tell you this, but I traveled 156 days last year for work. And you know what that means? It means I am a travel pro. And I've really had to perfect my routine so that I can arrive wherever I'm flying feeling my best, because I always hit the ground running.

• 42:20Speaker 00

  And so I have five travel non-negotiables whenever I'm flying. Are you ready? Number one, plan for comfort. When I travel, I don't expect comfort. I plan for it. I got comfy sweats on. I bring slippers. Yes, real slippers and cozy socks. And I've been known to bring a pillow from my own bed because I'm planning for comfort, because this is another pro hack. Yeah, you may only get one carry-on, but they don't count a pillow as a carry-on. So bring one and plan for comfort. Number two, enjoy the silence. I always bring noise-canceling headphones because let them only get to so far when a baby is crying or someone's talking loud or snoring.

• 43:04Speaker 00

  So let me just cancel it all out and put on the headphones. And number three, bring a good luck charm. Now, I've got mine right here. I am holding a very special ratty scarf. I mean, this thing is torn and nasty. It has holes in it. It is my special good luck charm. I can literally, I can see through the holes on this thing. I bring this 15-year-old blanket scarf thing with me on every flight because it brings me good luck. It doubles as a blanket. And if I forgot my pillow, I can wad this sucker up and I can use it as a pillow. And it just makes, I don't know, it makes plane travel feel a little more personal.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  It's a little good luck charm that I love, and it just makes flying so much better. And that brings me to number four, me time. Whenever I get on a plane, it is me time. There's no place I'm more productive than sitting in my seat on a JetBlue flight. First of all, there's no one there to bother me. So if I want to spend the entire flight, make it up Pinterest boards of outfits or the way I'd like my bedroom to look the next time I redo it. Or if I want to write a newsletter that millions of you read every week. If I want to sort through my photos. If I want to do something creative. There's just something about being in that seat, moving 500 miles an hour through the clouds. It just brings out the creativity and the fun in me.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  It's like it becomes this little pocket of uninterrupted time. It's just for me. Honestly, it's something I look forward to now. And number five, hydrate. I'm the kind of person that can drink half a gallon of water on a cross-country flight. So I always have my water bottle that the crew members on JetBlue are so great about filling up with ice and water, and more water, and more water. So the next time you're booking a trip, don't stress. Just use these five tips from your friend Mel Robbins. Plan for comfort. Enjoy the silence. Bring your good luck charm. Enjoy me time. And hydrate. Because when the journey feels easier, you give yourself a much better chance of arriving feeling like your best self.

• 45:17Speaker 00

  I really want to thank JetBlue again for sponsoring this segment. And now JetBlue is introducing another amazing premium product with BlueFirst. BlueFirst is JetBlue's take on first class, the JetBlue way, welcoming, not exclusive. You'll get modern comfort, wider recliner seating, extra legroom, priority check-in, boarding and baggage claim. And all of this creates a full experience designed around comfort, hospitality, and value. Visit jetblue.com to learn more and book your next trip.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins. And today, we're going to do something a little different. I really want to mix it up on the Mel Robbins. Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins. Don't go anywhere. This is going to be incredible, right, Judy?

• 46:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 46:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. You gotta watch, Chris, from where you are so you can film it.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  I thought. I can't swear on television.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  And I think I already mentioned that.

• 46:19Speaker 00

  So let's hear it again.

• 46:23Speaker 00

  Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

• 47:05Speaker 00

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• 47:48Speaker 00

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• 48:10Speaker 03

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