Answering Your Questions... Q&A

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• 0:00Speaker 0

  Hey, oh my gosh, this worked. I'm so excited to be here with you. Um, I have been wanting to get on live and start giving you uh coaching and answering your questions live for a long, long time. And so I'm super thrilled to be able to be here. And I am going to start in just a minute by answering the question that I see that Amy Appleseed on YouTube has asked, which is all about guilt. How do you get past the guilt of taking time for yourself to work on your goals when you already are spending a lot of time at work? It makes you feel selfish. So, Amy, great question. And I see that Christina has the same kind of question that she struggles with the same guilt.

• 0:46Speaker 0

  And this is something that I have dealt with in my life as I have built the business that uh you currently see on social media and with the Mel Robbins podcast and the other stuff that we do. So I know a lot about this. And as we allow our friends to kind of roll in from around the world, what I want you to know is that I'm going to spend a bit of time today taking your questions and giving you advice, giving you strategies, giving you uh reframes in terms of your mindset on the challenges that you're facing. And the way that you can ask a question is simply go to the comments and tell me where you're tuning in from as you're watching this video, and then drop your question into the comments.

• 1:33Speaker 0

  Um, I'm gonna go to Amy Appleseed's question on YouTube in just a second, which is one about how you deal with the guilt that you may feel as you are starting to prioritize yourself or your business, or you're needing to spend more time on your goals, and that's taking you away from your partner or from your family, and you just have this response of feeling guilty of prioritizing yourself. It's a very normal thing to feel, and there's a lot that you can do about it. And I'm gonna tell you about it in just a second, but I want to give uh everybody a chance to roll in and um to drop some questions into the comments, okay? So excited to be here with you live.

• 2:18Speaker 0

  I just freaking love this. Um, so let's start with Amy's question. Okay. What do you do when you are going through a period in your life where you're working on yourself or you've got these big goals, or maybe your career is taking a lot of your time and you notice that you feel selfish. And this is something, by the way, that a lot of women struggle with more than men. I notice that men don't necessarily feel selfish for doing this, but you kind of feel this pressure. So we as women may call this, I feel guilty. Dudes feel a lot of pressure in my experience, just talking in a traditional standpoint to just be everywhere and do everything for everybody as well.

• 3:04Speaker 0

  But we tend to language it as guilt. So, Amy and Christina, who have already asked this question, and for you, if you struggle with guilt, like you feel kind of selfish when you put yourself first. Number one, this is normal. And I want to teach you a little something about guilt. Okay. There are two kinds of guilt based on the research. There is good guilt, believe it or not, and then there is bad guilt. And bad guilt, Amy, is what you're feeling. Because bad guilt is the kind of guilt that causes you to turn it back on you and say, I'm doing something wrong, that there's something wrong if I am spending time on myself. There's something wrong if I am carving out time to work on my business or work on my book or train for that marathon.

• 3:54Speaker 0

  And bad guilt is devastating because bad guilt does a number of things. First of all, it just really screws with your mindset. It screws with your emotions. It screws with your motivation. Because if you're sitting there telling yourself over and over and over again, I'm selfish, I shouldn't be doing this. There's something wrong with me. Who am I to want something more for my life? I should be there for my partner, I should be there for my kids, I should be there for my parents. I shouldn't want these things. You are going to make yourself feel terrible. You are the one that is putting a lid on your ambitions and your dreams. And you are also like shaming yourself for having this ambition.

• 4:41Speaker 0

  And it's going to stop you from pursuing what you're meant to pursue. Okay. So you need to first identify whether is this bad guilt, which I suspect, Amy, it is, because you are using it as a battering ram against yourself. And we've got to convert this to good guilt. Because good guilt comes up, everyone when two things that you value feel like they are in conflict with one another, right? You feel guilty because you've got all these big goals, and you need to take more time for yourself. And that makes you feel really happy. And yet it feels like that's in conflict with the person that you care about. And for many of you, in conflict with your role as a parent.

• 5:26Speaker 0

  And what I'm here to say is that if that's what's happening, right? You can reframe that feeling of guilt into something positive because good guilt is simply a signal to you that two things that you care about now are kind of bumping up against each other. And guilt is good when it motivates you to change for the better. And so, how do you use guilt when you're going after something that you care about, right? To not stop you, but to help you and to help you change for the better. So here's what's super cool about this. I want you to ask yourself, Amy and ask yourself as you're watching me coach Amy. How is you going after your goals? How is this time that you're taking to improve yourself, to make yourself more fulfilled, to make yourself happier?

• 6:17Speaker 0

  How does that benefit your partner? How does a happier you, a more fulfilled you help your relationship? And when you can define for yourself why this goal that you have is not only amazing for you, because of course you should pursue this goal. You have ambition, you have a contribution to make to the world. It drives you crazy and makes you feel sad when you're not growing and when you're not like living up to your potential. So of course you got to do it for you, but guess what? It's gonna benefit your relationship too. Why? Because the happier you are, the better it is for your partner. The more fulfilled that you are, the better it is for your partner. The single best way to improve a relationship with somebody is to improve yourself because you bring a more fulfilled and amazing person to the table.

• 7:12Speaker 0

  And so that's number one. Define it in a way where the things that you care about are competing, but it actually lifts all things. So that's number one. Number two, you have to have a conversation with your partner about this. I remember when my business got super, super busy way back in the day. So, you know, I um went through this period. I gosh, this is probably like 2011 to 2014, where all of a sudden the speaking career started to take off, and people started to hire me a lot to give keynote speeches. And, you know, back in 2011, my husband and I were in financial crisis. So this was like a gift from God to be paid to go and stand on a stage and deliver a speech about motivation and about change.

• 8:00Speaker 0

  And so I said yes to everything. And it was a real gift because I we needed the money. But but what happened is as the business got more and more successful, and I became more and more ambitious, and it became clear that this was gonna be a pathway through which we could pay off our bills. I was spending less and less time at home. We have three kids at the time, you know, we had two middle schoolers, one in elementary school. Amy, I was wracked with guilt. Wrecked with guilt because my ambition and this business and the things that I wanted to achieve and the financial goals that I had and the difference that I was making felt like it was in direct conflict with the kind of family life that I had, the kind of mom I thought I should be, the kind of partner I should be to my husband, Chris.

• 8:54Speaker 0

  And so I had to do the flip that I'm talking about. How is me pursuing this business a good thing for me and a good thing for the people in my life? And what I've already told you is the happier I became, the more fulfilled I became. Number one, I brought that into my role as a mom and as a partner. Number two, the ability to make money and pay off the liens on the house, the ability to make money and pay for the town soccer league, the ability to make money and pay the mortgage. That was something that was really important in terms of my role as a mom and as a spouse. But the second thing that I did that really, really helped is I sat down and I had a conversation, many conversations, in fact, with my family about what I was doing and why it mattered to me.

• 9:46Speaker 0

  And I asked for their support. You know, I sat down with my kids and said, Look, I know I've been traveling a lot, and I feel a lot of guilt because you know, I want to be. Out there doing this. And this is what I said to my family that really helped. I said this. I said, thank you for supporting me. Thank you for understanding how important this is for me. Thank you for cheering for me. Thank you for being proud of me. And I'm going to tell you something. When you grow up, and Chris, when you figure out what your next thing is, I am going to give you the exact same support. And I'm going to be your loudest cheerleader because you cheered for me as I was pursuing my goals and dream.

• 10:33Speaker 0

  And that is one of the most beautiful ways that you can love someone. And what was amazing about that conversation is that you make the people that you love a part of what you're doing. You acknowledge them for their support. Now, they might not give you support in the way that you want, but simply framing in that way helps you. Now, the third thing, and this is super, super, super important. And it's this, especially for those of you that feel guilty because you have young kids or because you have aging parents or because you're not around as much, or because it feels kind of foreign to take the time for yourself, or to take your weekends now and really be working on this side hustle or working on your novel or you know, working on your healthier habits and putting yourself first.

• 11:27Speaker 0

  The thing that really helps is to um, I'm trying to think, I literally, you'll see with me, it's like, woo, what did it just say? Okay, I said I we talked about good guilt, bad guilt. We then talked about uh thanking everybody. Oh, I know, for your for you parents out there. I want you to think about it this way. Don't you want the people that you love to take time for themselves? Don't you want the people that you love to work on their goals? Don't you want your kids to pursue their dreams and to carve out time for themselves and to do what it takes to be happy? Of course you do. Who the heck is going to teach them how to do it? You are. One of the biggest gifts that you could give to your partner, to your family, and especially to your kids, is model what it looks like to be a person that defines their goals and has the courage to go after them.

• 12:25Speaker 0

  When your kids and your partner see you as the kind of person that is defining a big game to play in life, and they see you waking up every day and chipping away at it, and they see you not going to the pars or the parties on Friday nights, but you're chipping away at it. You are teaching people things you can't learn in books. You're showing somebody what it looks like to build a life that's meaningful. And the final thing I'm going to tell you, Amy, as it relates to your partnership, is don't mistake the quantity of time that you're spending with your spouse with the quality of that time. Because I bet that there's a lot of time that you're around your spouse where you are, I don't even have my phone here, but you know, you're like this.

• 13:15Speaker 0

  You're on your phone, that you're physically present, but you're not mentally present. And there are so many ways, especially as you're making yourself happier and you're going after your goals, for you to create intimacy in consistent small ways, like texting fun, sexy things with your spouse throughout the day, like making a date not to go out, but to sit and play cards tonight together by taking the time to uh surprise your partner and have them come home and you've cooked something like fantastic, and now you're taking time together without the phones. And so I think we get hung up on the quantity of time, and we're not thinking enough about the quality.

• 14:01Speaker 0

  When you're with your spouse or your kids, is your phone in your hand? Are you actually present? Are you leaning in and listening? Because you might be able, because I guarantee you, Amy, if you get very focused on this and you have the conversation and you flip the guilt and you realize how just amazing it is to be married to somebody that's working on themselves, it's trying to be that is like the coolest thing ever because the happier you become, the more you bring that into the relationship. But don't mistake the amount of time that you're spending together with time that's actually intimate. Do you know what most couples do together? They watch TV. That's not quality time.

• 14:47Speaker 0

  That's quantity time. And so I hope those four things really help you reframe guilt. I hope they help you flip it and find this intrinsic motivation to see how powerful it is. I hope it fuels you with a tremendous amount of pride. That's what I hope that does. Let's take a question here from Hope. Hope I says, I hope, how are you, hon? I've been uh working very hard to come up with good solutions and healthy habits. However, every time I get started, my parents talk me out of doing it and I lose motivation. What should I do? Okay, so hope. This is really interesting. Um, I don't know how old you are, hope, and whether or not you still live with your parents, and this is important, okay.

• 15:34Speaker 0

  Um, and the reason why it's important is because if you still live with your parents, it uh you're gonna have to come up with strategies where you hear it, but you do what's best for you within reason because it is hard when you're living under someone else's roof to try to have your own agency and autonomy. But assuming that you're over 18 and assuming that uh your parents respect your boundaries a little bit, I want to tell you something. The reason why your parents aren't supportive of you having healthy habits and having good solutions is because you know, human beings are really funny. When we're in a relationship with one another, everybody's behavior affects everybody else's, okay.

• 16:21Speaker 0

  And so when one person in your family changes, or a person that you love, or a person that is uh a close friend of yours starts to change, particularly when they become healthier, or particularly when you start to up level your life, and let's say you hang out with a bunch of friends that spend weekends doing a lot of drinking and gossiping about other people and talking about the same stuff, and you become the person that's like, yeah, nah, I'm not gonna go out this weekend. I'm training for a marathon, you know, or nah, I'm not gonna go out this weekend because I'm taking a class online to learn a lot about AI because I want to try to get promoted at work.

• 17:06Speaker 0

  What happens is really interesting. Nine times out of 10, your friends and family don't go, that's amazing. Good for you that you're staying in this weekend. Nine times out of 10, you know what your friends and family do? They go, What? Why are you staying in? Why wouldn't you come out with us? And I'm gonna tell you why people question, and then I'm gonna tell you what to do about it. People question because when you change your habits, and when you change your patterns, and when you start to have a more positive attitude, it reflects back on the fact that they're not changing. So I'm gonna give you an example from my own life because I think it relates to trying to have healthy habits and being in a household with people who don't.

• 17:56Speaker 0

  So in this story, hope, I'm the bad guy. Okay. So my husband, Chris, uh, a number of years ago, he uh said, I gotta stop drinking. I got a problem with drinking, I'm gonna stop drinking. Now, here's the thing. I think we all agree that's a very healthy habit, right? To cut alcohol out of your life. And to Chris's credit, he just was like, I'm doing this for me. I got my reasons, I need to do this for me. And he did not say, Mel, I need you to stop drinking. He did not say, I need to clear all the alcohol out of the house. He just said, This is what I'm going to do for myself. Okay. Now, here's what's amazing about this hope. When he created this healthy habit and made this commitment to himself, my first reaction was, that's great.

• 18:46Speaker 0

  You're right. You do have a drinking problem. You should stop drinking. Um, I don't have drinking problem, but you do. So you should stop drinking. That's great for you. And the first night, my um, you know, husband, as we're cooking dinner, he goes and he grabs like a club soda and you know, pours it into a glass, and I open up the fridge and I reach in and I grab the wine and I start glug, blue, glove, glug, glug, pouring a glass of wine. And um, as I'm pouring the glass of wine and he's not pouring a glass of wine, you know what's happening, Hope? I'm starting to think, hmm. Why isn't he pouring a glass of wine? I start thinking about what I'm doing. Chris hasn't said a word.

• 19:32Speaker 0

  And so when you walk into the kitchen and you're making a salad, and your family is throwing a bunch of tater tots into the air fryer, and they're microwaving up the mac and cheese, and you're trying to do some. Protein forward greens kind of dinner. Anybody that is around you subconsciously starts judging themselves. And that's uncomfortable. And that's what happened to me. Because the second night that Chris wasn't drinking, as I'm pouring my nightly glass of wine, I literally turned around. I'm like, do you want to have a glass of wine? And he goes, Mel, I'm not drinking. And I said, well, it's just kind of juice. I was a real jerk about it. And the reason why hope is because his healthy choice was forcing me to question my unhealthy choice.

• 20:23Speaker 0

  Now the third night hope is where it gets very interesting. And then I want to give you some advice. It's going to change your friggin' life. You ready? The third night, I go glove glove, glove, glove, glove to pour the glass of wine. Chris has his club soda. I am now full on in my mind, like I shouldn't be drinking. Maybe like I'm now questioning myself, which is what your family's doing. Your family feels very confronted with their choices. They're not confronted with your choices. They're now questioning what they're doing, and they're subconsciously feeling judged. Because I think we all know when you throw the tater tots in the air fryer and you put the mac and cheese in the microwave and there's not anything green in that meal, and there's not a lick of protein in there, it's not the healthiest thing, right?

• 21:19Speaker 0

  And so as you're starting to take care of yourself, it's very confronting to somebody who's not. And when people get confronted, have you ever noticed when somebody's confronted, they don't soften, do they? They push back, they get judgmental. That's exactly what I did on this third night with my husband Chris. What I did hope is I literally turned to him and I'm like, I feel like there's an issue. Like maybe I shouldn't be drinking, like I like you're not drinking, and now this makes and you know what Chris said to me, Hope, and this is where the advice is going to come to you. Chris looked me in the eyes, and I need you to hear this. Chris looked at me and said, Mel, no one cares what's in your glass but you.

• 23:01Speaker 0

  Okay. My let them theory is going to help you have boundaries emotionally because you can't control what your family is going to say and how they're going to react to your right and your responsibility to take care of yourself and to work to be a happier you. Okay. So when your parents roll their eyes or your parents question what you're doing, you're gonna say to yourself, let them. And I want you to remember your friend Mel Robbins. And I want you to remember as you're making your salad or you're going for your run, and you're, you know, your sister's like, yeah, she thinks she's too good for us now, right? Because it's easier to attack you, just like I was attacking my husband, than it is to look in the mirror and go, wow, my sister's getting healthier.

• 23:52Speaker 0

  And that makes me think that, you know, maybe I gotta, I got some soul searching to do here. It's so much easier to attack you. So you're gonna let them, okay? Just gonna let them have their comments. You're gonna let them think what they think, and then you're gonna turn and go, let me. Let me take responsibility for what makes me feel like me. Let me have habits that make me feel empowered, okay. And you're gonna ride it out like that. And yes, you should express boundaries. You should say to your family, you know, I'm trying really hard to take care of myself. And please, could you please just stop criticizing me? Could you please support me? They might say no. Let them.

• 24:38Speaker 0

  And you do you, okay. Aaron, I feel oh, wait, hold on, this was guilty. Okay, hold on a second. Great. Gloria, how do you know where to begin when you have when you have to work on every area of your life? Beautiful question. Um, so one of the things that you should do is um where to begin. You know, what I always say is this. If you have to work on every area of your life, Gloria, and look, I've been there. I want you to understand one thing. First of all, it's a huge step forward to have the self-awareness that everything in your life needs to change. Okay. So good job. That takes a lot of courage and a lot of self-awareness. So that's step one, and you've already started.

• 25:23Speaker 0

  Number two, given that you are present in every area of your life that you need to work on, the best place to start is with you. And the simplest place for you to get started in gaining a little bit of forward momentum is simply by, and this is gonna sound very kind of odd that this is where I want you to start, but I want you to start by creating a morning routine. And the reason why I want you to create a morning routine is because it's something you can control. It is a way for you to start to practice habits in the morning before the day goes off the rails and all your time gets hijacked by work and everybody else's demands. And it is a way for you to simply do a simple series of actions that help you build discipline and consistency in your life.

• 26:14Speaker 0

  And you know, this theme of consistency is really, really important. And, you know, I've been talking about it a lot lately because I know it's easy to feel blocked in your life. It's easy to feel stuck in your life. It's easy, even when you're successful. This happens to me all the time. You know, now that I'm really successful, I still get blocked. I still get overwhelmed, I still kind of hit these ceilings where I, you know, feel like I just can't break through the ceiling and level up the results. And so this feeling that everything needs help and improvement, this is normal in your business, it's normal in your career, it's with yourself. And so the place that I always come back to when I feel that way, because you know, you can't work on everything at the same time, because when everything is important, nothing's actually important.

• 27:11Speaker 0

  And you know, the same is true. You've probably experienced this at work. When everybody's working on the same thing, nobody is actually in charge of anything. And so you have to be in charge of yourself. You have to make yourself and consistency in your own actions the priority, because if the relationship is broken, if we improve how you feel about yourself, then the relationship improves. If your career has stalled out, if we improve how you feel about yourself, then the person in your career improves and your career starts to improve. If your health is in the toilet, if we can improve your relationship with yourself, then we can absolutely help you as help you gain healthy habits.

• 27:57Speaker 0

  So it all starts with you. And so let me walk you through the mechanics quickly of a rock solid morning routine. And we've done a fantastic couple, we've done two episodes on the Mel Robbins podcast that go in great detail. If you just go to our YouTube channel, oh, you're on it. Uh, some of you are on it. If you go to our YouTube channel, okay, and you search Mel Robins morning routine, not the compilation videos other people's do, but you will find me walking you through my morning routine. But here's a couple simple rules that will really help you gain a little bit of momentum if you don't know where to start. Number one, when the alarm rings, get out of bed. That right there will change your life because if you already feel stuck everywhere and you begin your day by hitting the snooze button, that means the first decision that you make in the morning is procrastinating.

• 28:56Speaker 0

  We want to stop that. So when the alarm rings, decision number one, five, four, three, two, one, get up. Decision number two is practice the high five habit. So when you go into the bathroom, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and then you're gonna high five yourself in the mirror. This again is a science backed habit that uses something called neurobics to rewire the default thinking patterns that you have about yourself with this physical action. The science is incredible. I've written and researched an entire book about it. We've done multiple podcast episodes about it, but you just need to know alarm rings five, four, three, two, one up, walk into the bathroom, high five the mirror.

• 29:43Speaker 0

  Third thing I always do is I make my bed because it is a way to. To complete something first thing in the morning, it also means that when I come back into my bedroom throughout the day, I don't have a mess to clean up. The fourth thing that I do is I pull on my sweats or my exercise clothes, or you know, even on those days when I'm too lazy, I'll throw on my jacket over my PJs because I live in the woods, so nobody's gonna see me, and I head straight outside. I had straight outside and I go for at least a 10 minute walk because of the research around both getting UV exposure in your light and your eyes first thing in the morning and the impact it has on mood and focus and everything, and also because a simple 10 minute walk has ridiculous health benefits.

• 30:35Speaker 0

  Again, all things that we have done episodes about on the Mel Robbins podcast. And fifth, when I come in, I pour a cup of water, and then I sit down and I write down five things that I want in my life. I do this every single five things that I want in my life. Before I launch the Mel Robbins podcast for two years, you know what I was writing? Top 10 podcast, top 10 podcast, top 10 podcast, because I am training my mind to help me create it. And then the final thing that I do with my morning routine is I pick the one thing that matters to me to do today, the one thing, and it's just one thing. And today it's doing a lot, my first live YouTube QA broadcast with you guys, which is something I've been wanting to do for two years, where I'm taking your questions, and I'm, you know, like actually able to interact with you.

• 31:30Speaker 0

  Um, you know, I I talked about this concept of consistency. And you know, I want to address this question where I see, and I see so many of you that are fans on Facebook and on YouTube and on LinkedIn who are fans of the podcast. Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me in the car when you commute. Thank you for taking me on walks with you. I truly cherish the time that we get to spend with you. Um, you know, I see Becca asking a question how do I get into action when I'm grieving? You know, both my parents died last year, my mind wants to, but my heart is saying something different. You know, I think sometimes um whether you're grieving or you're going through heartbreak, or you know, you're like my brother who worked somewhere for 10 years and was just doing dynamite, and all of a sudden this big global company went through this big restructuring and at the age of 54, he finds himself like suddenly laid off.

• 32:32Speaker 0

  You know, when you go through these major life transitions, first you got to give yourself a little bit of space to breathe. Okay. So you gotta like have that, oh God moment. Um, you gotta wallow in it a little bit because you need to feel what you need to feel. But there's gonna come a time where you have to make a decision that whatever it is that's blocking you, it's time to push through. And only you know, Susan, if it is time for you to start to move forward again. Yeah, I can't make that decision for you. But the fact that you're actually acting, asking in my mind, how do I do that means you want to. If you're sitting here watching and you're one of the people asking questions, how do I level up in my business, Mel?

• 33:21Speaker 0

  How do I go from just taking my little uh side hustle coaching business and create a company so that I can leave my job? If you're asking the question, how do I hold myself accountable? Even asking the question means that you have this self-awareness that this is something that you want to have a breakthrough in. And here's what I would love to tell you. You ready? You can cause yourself to have a breakthrough anytime you make a decision too, because the breakthrough doesn't happen up here when it comes to the things that you want to change about your life. It always happens with action. You have to take the action before you feel ready. And that is something that can be really challenging to do.

• 34:08Speaker 0

  It's hard to hold yourself accountable. I was just sharing this morning that one of the things that I do in my life is in the areas where I feel really stuck, or the areas where I can't create the momentum on my own, I outsource the accountability. I make things easier for myself. See, I'm not one of these people that feels like I'm particularly disciplined. I'm disciplined about some things, but exercise is not one of them. And so I have become very consistent with resistance training, something I'd never done before in my life. I found out from the experts that at the age of 56, you kind of got to do that. I became consistent because I outsourced the accountability.

• 34:53Speaker 0

  And I think sometimes that's the solution, that in an area of your life where you're not getting the traction, where you just can't seem to break through, where you aren't able to hold yourself accountable. You need to find someone else to help you get the structure to be more consistent. I do that in the area of exercise. I stream online classes, and there's something about somebody else. When I wake up in the morning, I don't feel like exercising. When I wake up in the morning, I'm overwhelmed. And so when I crack open my laptop and I've got a class that is already like selected and somebody jumps on the screen is like, Mel Robbins, this is what you're doing today, I do it.

• 35:39Speaker 0

  I absolutely do it. One of the things that I love about the podcast is we have a publishing schedule. And since I have the accountability of that, I've rigged and do it. And so, you know, I have, I think it's really important that you understand that you can make it easier on yourself. And I want to help you do that. I want to help you do that. What if you gave the accountability to me? What if in the area of your life where you're struggling to be consistent, or you're struggling with guilt, or you are struggling with focus because you've got so many things going on that you can't seem to direct your focus in a consistent way to stay on task. What if you gave that responsibility to me?

• 36:26Speaker 0

  And I'm I'm saying that because I think you know that if I were in your life, literally, and like holding you count accountable on a daily basis, that uh things would change, that if you woke up every day and there was an email from me going, um, hey, ding ding ding, here are the two or three things that you need to do. Here's a little video to help you out. By the way, we're gonna be live later this week to answer your questions. If you had that kind of support and encouragement and coaching, like you're experiencing right now, can you imagine how different your life or business would be by October? Well, I want you to know something. You have the opportunity right now to work with me between now and October as your coach, because once a year I offer a six-month-long coaching program called launch that creates the accountability, the structure, the consistency that is missing in the area of your life where you're struggling.

• 37:29Speaker 0

  And all the information is right here. And I wanted to jump on, not only because I've been just like one of my goals this year has been we've got to start doing more live QA and coaching on YouTube. And I'm so busy that we haven't been able to find the time. And so I was like, I'm just jumping on today. That's it. We schedule this couple, I'm jumping on today, we're gonna do this. And what I keep seeing over and over and over again is so many of you are writing to me because you have these big goals and you have these big dreams and your mindset is starting to change because you've been following me, following me online and you listen to the podcast, which I love, but you've been asking me, how do I take this deeper?

• 38:17Speaker 0

  How do I truly action these things in my life? How do I create consistency? How if I'm just a little person living somewhere around the world that I feel like I'm in my small little town, I'm in my little bubble at work and in my family. Like, how do I think bigger? Well, the way that you do that is you put yourself in a situation where someone is gonna hold you accountable. You put yourself in a group of people that are thinking bigger, that are doing big things that are gonna support you in the changes that you want to make. And so I created an experience called launch. It's open for registration, literally until tomorrow. So you have hours to jump in. If you are interested in this, just check it out right here.

• 39:05Speaker 0

  I'm not gonna give you a hard sell. That's not my style. 99% of what I do in the world is at zero cost because I am so committed to making an impact in your life. I am so committed to saving you the headache and the heartache that I used to cause myself because I didn't know any better. And life is full of shortcuts. And I want to teach them to you. And when you have someone else that is reminding you of how great you are, when you have somebody else like Mel Robbins reminding you how capable you are, when you have somebody else that creates the structure and the systems and the consistency, so that you don't have to think so much. You just need to wake up and do the one or two things that are on the plan that you got help creating.

• 39:55Speaker 0

  You would be startled by what you can accomplish in your life. In fact, I want to share with you some of the things that former alumni of the program. And again, registration's closing in a matter of hours. And this is your chance to work with me in a coaching program where I am your coach and you are part of a student body from around the world and get the support and the accountability and the encouragement and the structure that you deserve. And you know, there are lots of areas in our life where this is present. Like you can go to a gym and you can join a 30-day challenge. You can hire a health coach and or a nutritionist and get all of that structure. When you register for a graduate program or a training certificate, the program offers you the structure, which is why you get it done.

• 40:49Speaker 0

  But have you ever noticed in life? I noticed this a couple of years ago. There's no program that allows you to step into it and create whatever project you want in your business, right? I'm going to increase my sales. Who's going to hold you accountable to that? I will.

• 41:16Speaker 0

  Where's the program for that? It's right here. I want to reinvent my life. I just got divorced. I just got laid off. I'm retiring and I have a whole chapter left to live, and I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know where's the program for that. It's right here. Because this is an experience that is all about defining what matters to you. And then learning and practicing how to wake up and be consistent and stay on task and focus some time and energy every day on what truly matters to you. And oh, by the way, when you start to feel guilty that you're waking up every day and changing, and people around you are a little like, whoa, what's going on? You get coaching on how to deal with it.

• 42:02Speaker 0

  When you face rejection because you start doing big things like raising money for your business or picking up the phone and doing more cold calls than you ever have before, guess what? You get coaching on how to deal with the rejection and flip it so that you can keep going because consistency and execution is the game. If you sit there and worry and think and doubt yourself and criticize yourself like I did for decades, you are wasting your potential and wasting your time and you are making yourself miserable. And it doesn't have to be that way. I see something so much different for you. I know how much potential you have inside you. I know how big your dreams and your goals are because I read the comments on our social media posts every day.

• 42:53Speaker 0

  I read the emails that come into the Mel Robbins podcast. I look at the reviews of the podcast. I see that you are so ambitious and that you have so much that you're already doing and you care so deeply. It is time for somebody to care about you and care about your dreams. It is time for somebody to see you and to support you and to hold you accountable because you are capable of more. First, we got to define what that means for you. Then we got to start removing all the noise from around you and removing all the stuff that's a distraction. And then we got to get busy on consistency and on a little simple discipline. And we got to get busy on encouragement. And you also, you know what else you need?

• 43:40Speaker 0

  You need the same thing I do, which is you need to be surrounded by people around you that aren't just talking about the same stuff. You need to be surrounded by people around you that are working on big things. Because if you ever noticed that people that have a lot going on in their life, they're like working on something big in their community, or they're super committed to their family and you know, they're busy with that, they don't have time for gossip. They're not talking about the news because they have a bigger game in their life. And so if you're also surrounded by people that small, small, small talk, same old stuff, talking about the same old people, like it's the same thing, different day.

• 44:29Speaker 0

  Uh, it's time to upgrade the conversations around you and the energy around you and the people around you. And so the program is called launch. I offer it once a year. Uh, registration is open right now, but it closes in a matter of hours. Uh, the deadline is Thursday, which is literally almost 24 hours from now, but you may be watching a replay of this video. And if that's the case, it may have passed. But if you're still in the window, I want you to check out the information. It's at Mel Robins.com/slash launch. I don't want you to miss out on getting the support you deserve. I don't want you to miss out on putting yourself in an experience where you get the accountability and the consistency and the breakthrough, and we remove the blocks and you tap into the happiness and the potential, and more importantly, here we go.

• 45:25Speaker 0

  You create the results that you've been dreaming about. In fact, I want to tell you here's uh somebody that has graduated from the program recently. I want to shout out quickly to Michelle, Amanda, Barbara, uh, what's O L E. I don't, I'm terrible for Olay, is that how we say it? Oli, Olay, whatever, I'll O L E, I'm freaking thrilled you're here. Hazel and everyone else who is ready to jump into launch 2024. I want to tell you something. Your classmates are popping off. When you register for launch and you jump into our community, it's not on social media. It is a private premium corporate course platform. My team is already in there. The first two videos are already ready, waiting to welcome you in and to acquaint you with how cool the technology is.

• 46:16Speaker 0

  And you have classmates that are going to just rush you. Like it's going to be like homeschool week with the hugs and the high fives to celebrate. The second that you launch, there's a spark that happens because you know that you have put yourself into an experience that will change your life. Listen to this. Teresa, who's an alum from last year, graduated in 2023. This program changed my life. I'm back in school. I'm graduating with my bachelor's degree in entrepreneurship in about a year. I started a new career. I moved, I created space for me. If you told me a year ago I'd be where I am today, I'd say you're lying. Thank you, Mel, for pushing me to restart my life and for giving me the structure and the accountability to do it.

• 47:06Speaker 0

  I freaking love, love, love this. Here's another one. Uh graduate from last year. I just want you to know that this six-month experience launch saved my life. I took a gamble, and you may be thinking as you're watching me, I would love more of this coaching. I need more of this energy. I need more of these tools in my life. I want to go deeper than the Mel Robbins podcast, and I want to see myself consistently applying what I'm learning. And I want to see myself moving forward, and I do want Mel holding me accountable. I do want Mel's team supporting me. I do want people around. I want this. So you may be like an alum last year who I took a gamble. I signed up, and I signed up thinking it'll at least help me in my career.

• 47:55Speaker 0

  What happened next is nothing short of a miracle. And I mean that. I went from depressed, overweight, and drinking to decompress to feeling alive and vibrant and ready to challenge myself to grow every day. I lost 21 pounds. I made peace with having a disability. I came to terms with trauma in my life. I got real with the people that I love. I ditched the toxic job and coworkers. I finished writing a book that I had been working on for three plus years. I am now working toward a degree in art at the school of my dreams, something that I was always told was a waste of time and that I wasn't talented enough. Well, guess what? This experience with Mel pushed me to go for my dreams.

• 48:41Speaker 0

  And I've now made honors every term since I started. I feel alive for the first time in my life, and I am nearly 50 years old. I feel like me for the first time, the change I've experienced literally brings me to tears when I think about how far I've come. And while I've done the hard work, Mel, her team, and this program launch was the other boot in my ass, kicking me along the way and believing me. See, I always tell you when I close the Mel Robbins podcast that I believe in you because I do. I just have too much evidence that if you can push through the block and actually start taking action, that you will be shocked by what you're capable of. See, the problem isn't your ability.

• 49:28Speaker 0

  The problem is that you are either surrounded by people that aren't encouraging you, or you are in a mindset that is beating you down, or you have faced a couple rejections, which happens in life and it's knocked you off your path. But beneath all those things that are holding you back is so much potential and capability. And I know that about you. And it's time to tap into it. It's time. To unleash it. It is time for you to really like stop listening to the self-criticism, stop listening to the negativity, and get going. You know, I have to, I have to tell you something. I just saw somebody go, it's really hard to get a job. You're right, it is. It's really hard.

• 50:13Speaker 0

  And here's what I know. There's a job out there for you. There's a boss that will inspire you. There is a company where you will come alive. And it's not their responsibility to find you on some job site. It's your responsibility to find it. And when you think about the fact that anything that you want is possible if you're willing to work for it. Did I say it was easy? No. Did I say it was going to happen overnight? Nope. I did not. But what I know in life is that when you get serious about what you're going to do, and if you are willing to wake up every day and chip away at it, if you are willing to continue to develop a mindset where you go, it might not be working out today, but it's going to work out at some point.

• 51:02Speaker 0

  If I keep my attitude positive, if I keep on going, it is going to work out for me because I'm willing to work for it. And that is the mindset of somebody who makes things happen. And you are capable of learning that.

• 51:46Speaker 0

  That's, and look, the majority of people won't. The majority of people won't. And that's the sad truth that most people know exactly what they would love deep in their hearts to change or to do or to accomplish. But knowing isn't enough. Because most people won't do it. You've got to hold yourself accountable. You've got to wake up and focus on what matters. You got to chip away at it day in and day out. You got to pick yourself up when things knock you down. And I'm going to tell you something. It's a heck of a lot easier to do that when you got somebody like me holding you accountable. You got people around the world cheering you on and getting you to keep going.

• 52:32Speaker 0

  And so I cannot underscore enough. You deserve this. If you've been thinking about it, now is the time. Because this window of opportunity to work with me in 2024 and to get all the support and consistency and encouragement that you deserve is closing. When uh April 25th at 7 p.m. Eastern rolls around, registration is closed, classes in session, the wait list for 2025 goes up, and that is it. And I think you know me well enough to know that I don't screw around. We don't go, oh, we we extended it to Friday. That's not how I roll. Because maybe what you need is a breakthrough of procrastination. Maybe it's overthinking and self-doubt that stopped you all these years.

• 53:18Speaker 0

  And that the first breakthrough that you need is trusting yourself enough to just take the leap. And the thing that I'm going to tell you is there's no risk. Of course, there's a refund policy. And you can read all about it right there. The terms are very clear. So you can try this out for two weeks. And if it's not a fit, no problem. You follow the guidelines and request a refund. And so if you're sitting there waiting, if you're sitting there thinking, what on earth are you waiting for? Take the support that I'm offering, jump in. Your life will never be the same. Uh, and I think you know that. It would be an absolute honor to be your coach, to hold you accountable, to help you be consistent and stay on task, to give you the support, the encouragement, the love, the coaching, the science, the strategies, the shortcuts that you deserve on all of the things that you dream about doing and the goals that you have.

• 54:22Speaker 0

  And I think that's all I got to say. So clock is ticking, doors are closing, you're seeing this video for a reason. And I want you in the class of 2024 and launch. So please join me and jump in. Already, I love you. I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to take this risk, to invest in yourself, to take the time and spend it with me and to grab the support and the accountability that I'm offering. And I cannot wait to see how much your life changes. Already, I love you.