Guess the Lines Week 1, Micah Parsons Trade Damage, and an NFL Futures Draft With Cousin Sal

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the Micah Parsons trade (3:47), before the return of Guess the Lines Week 1 and Parent Corner (24:51). Finally, Bill and Sal have an NFL futures draft (01:13:56). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Steve Ceruti Get a new phone & lock in a low price with Verizon The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Carhartt. We spend a lot of time talking about football, the players, the coaches, the big plays, but there's a whole other team we rarely think about, the people who make the game possible, the workers building stadiums, paving parking lots, growing the grass, welding the goalposts, even making the footballs. They're committed to their craft and they're doing the work long before kickoff. Carhartt is proud to outfit those crews. So next time you're watching a game, take a second to appreciate the people behind it. Learn more at carhartt.com/jointhetrades. The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook, your friend for the NFL and college football seasons. When you are watching this podcast or listening to it a week from now on Sunday night, it's

• 0:42Bill Simmons?

  going to be me and Cousin Sal doing guest lines and reacting to Week 1 of the NFL. And if you, if you want to react with us, no better place than, than FanDuel. We have the Ringer Gambling Show going every day now, live, noon ET on our Ringer Gambling YouTube channel. Lot of FanDuel stuff on there. We have the Ringer Sunday pregame on Sundays on YouTube with the whole cast of characters. And we're doing the Ringer 107 as well, which I can explain to you when Cousin Sal comes up in one second. I watched a lot, lot of college football yesterday. We had two college football podcasts that were responding live on YouTube. The Ringer Tailgate with Joel and Van and Tate came on in the late afternoon games,

• 1:27Bill Simmons?

  then Todd McShay after Clemson and LSU. Little upset in that one. So if you like college football, those are two awesome podcasts and it's a sport that we've, we've struggled to figure out a good plan for over the years. And I feel like we have two awesome shows now, so really excited about that. Speaking of awesome shows, the rewatchables, Monday night, movie 400, we're doing American Gangster with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. It's me, Chris Ryan and Van Lathan. I let CR pick because he hadn't been on the pod for a few weeks and this is what he wanted. We're all excited to do it. So that is coming, the 400th movie on Monday, and you can find that on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can find all of our football

• 2:10Bill Simmons?

  Stuff Ringer Fantasy Football Show, if you want fantasy advice. Ringer NFL Show with Sheil has been awesome. We revamped it. It's like basically 30 minute podcasts, one topic, and he's been killing it. So if you want to get ready for the season there, go check that out. And then the Ringer dot com, where we have all of our football, NFL, college gambling stuff, the Bundo's gambling column. Everything is going on there as well. So we are ready for the season. Really excited about it. Coming up, Cousins Allen, I can do guest lines and we have a big NFL futures draft. Can't wait. First a break and then Pearl Jam. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel and the NFL is back and thank God. FanDuel has everything. They got an awesome app. They have SGPs.

• 2:55Bill Simmons?

  They have great futures. They have good prop bets, live betting, your way bets, clean app. It's great to use. Been using it for a few years. Every time I go back to Boston or any place that has FanDuel and I get to use it, I'm always excited. I'm on an airplane runway. You done the airplane runway?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:12Bill Simmons?

  Everybody. Airplane runway.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  There should be a button, the runway.

• 3:16Bill Simmons?

  I'm on the airplane runway. I gotta get this in. Get your bets in, build something bold, make every game feel bigger. Download the FanDuel app or head to FanDuel dot com slash BS to get started. The Ringer, committed to responsible gaming. Please visit RG dash help dot com to learn more about the resources and help lines available. And listen to the end of this episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus and present in select states or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit RG dash help dot com. Call 1-887-9777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat. Connecticut, paid endorsement.

• 4:17Bill Simmons?

  All right, recording this, it is Sunday morning Pacific time, year 19 of Guest the Lines. We are here, Cousin Sal. We've been doing this forever. Quick story back in the Jimmy Come Alive days, you were already doing this with one of your friends, but when we worked together, NFL season 2002?

• 4:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:39Bill Simmons?

  We started doing it in like December. We were sharing an office, sitting next to each other, and you just would throw the lines at me and I would guess them. And remember writing at one point, you know, this would be a great talk show segment someday, not realizing podcasts were coming. Podcasts came in 2007. We've been doing it ever since. Our 19th year, next year will be year 20, Sal.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember saying to you, I was like, all right, this is a great segment. I don't know if it lasts 20 years, but definitely, definitely 19, definitely good for 19. I also don't remember coming into this, a year like this, depressed as I am, but.

• 5:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, let's talk about it.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  We got a job to do.

• 5:14Bill Simmons?

  No, no, let's talk about it, because we haven't, the Micah Parsons trade happened near the end of last week after we had done our big over unders podcast, like less than 24 hours after. And somehow I had miraculously picked the Green Bay Packers to make the Super Bowl, which I feel even better about. We had both gone under on your team. And now it's the only case it'd be a possible Ewing theory situation, which I don't think you're very excited about.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  No, I'm not excited about any of it. And it's all terrible. Like, you know, like, I do appreciate you holding off like on the snark and texting me because that oftentimes is the worst part of this, like which of your friends and which you need to respond to and whatever. But as far as like the trade, I don't think it's good. I, you know, I'm used to the other terrible Jerry. At least he was predictable, you know?

• 6:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  And now it's like, you know, it's like if my kid gets shitty grades every semester. It's like, all right, what am I going to do about that? Oh, now he's stealing catalytic converters? Whoa, timeout. All right, now we got to do something here. So I don't know. I made a list of 12 reasons this trade sucked, and I'm not going to bore people with them, but they're all solid.

• 6:19Bill Simmons?

  Are you going to give them now?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to go through it because it's not.

• 6:22Bill Simmons?

  You can't do the Cliff Notes?

• 6:24Speaker 02

  I'll tell you the biggest one is his timing is always the worst. Even if you like what they got, right? They could have gotten more in March. They could have gotten more in June. They could have gotten more. Either he waited too long or he didn't wait long enough. Like if he had waited four weeks, I guarantee Micah Parsons. And we were going to lose probably two or three of those four anyway. I guarantee Micah Parsons getting to hit it a million and a quarter. A game would have been like, all right, Jerry, we'll take your offer, whatever, you know? So, um, I don't know. It's just, I, I, too late first rounders. If you look from 26 to 32, this is another one. That's where the Packers pick is going to be. Like it's depressing. If you look at the last few years, it's like a slew of Cole Strange types. That's it.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  And I'm not counting on them.

• 7:10Bill Simmons?

  Shots fired.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Sorry, sorry, I have to get.

• 7:12Bill Simmons?

  I'm just sitting here, man. I thought we were talking about your team.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Good job. Yes, no, no, but I'm not counting on them to do a good job packaging those picks or doing a good job with the free loot. And yeah, Kenny Clark is fine. I know he was an all pro and but his best years are behind him. He's 30. So I don't even know what else to say about this. Good job, Jerry. You fucked it up again.

• 7:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, today they gave, uh, Bland a huge extension, like 90 million. So it's like, well, now that we don't have to pay Michael Parsons, we have more money to overpay some of the other players in our team. I don't even know if he's a top 20 cornerback.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Great job, Deron. You, you, you didn't hold out. You played that perfectly. Hopefully you can stop the run because that's what's important here.

• 7:53Bill Simmons?

  Here's, you mentioned the leverage piece. This is the part, I had a lot of thoughts, obviously. We haven't done a podcast since this happened on this podcast at least. But, um, if you just did like, if you, if you fed it to AI, if you fed it to jet chat, GPT, whatever the F it's called. And you said, when will we have the least leverage in a Micah Parsons trade?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 8:14Bill Simmons?

  It would, when would it be the least helpful to us and make the least sense? You would say the end of August, where it's like, it's, you've already missed last year's draft. You're already six months away from whatever draft picks you were going to get anyway. And you're probably not getting a player who can help you more than Parsons this year. So worst case scenario, you just roll this over, you play chicken with them all year. He comes back eventually, you have him for this year and then trade him in March. Cause the thing I was talking about with trades is like, is this trade still here? Six months from now, like, yeah, guess what? The Packers are still doing this trade in March. Oh, we have to give up just two mediocre first rounders and a guy in his 30s for Michael Parsons.

• 8:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we'll do that in January, we'll do it in February, we'll do it in October. Would he have had more leverage in October? Probably. I, it, it almost just seemed like they didn't want to deal with it anymore. And he's old and he's like, I'll show him. Yeah, you showed him, you're probably showing him in the Superbowl and he got a giant contract. So what was the point of this?

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Right. And you know, okay, the, the one thing I'll say is, oh, the whole team hated him. I don't even know if that's true, but the front office hated him, the players hated him. The podcast really changed them. Podcast, remember what happened with the Royals, right? Harry and Megan, whatever, everybody loved, they did a podcast, everybody hated him. Okay, maybe there's something to that, but.

• 9:38Bill Simmons?

  Did they do a podcast?

• 9:39Speaker 02

  I don't remember that they did that.

• 9:40Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if they actually did the podcast, but.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Maybe we could check that while we're doing this.

• 9:45Bill Simmons?

  Definitely know Harry didn't do the podcast. He got paid to do the podcast.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  That's what happened. Yeah.

• 9:50Bill Simmons?

  I don't think he did the podcast. Anyway, go ahead.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  No, so, but you're right. Like, yes, wait longer. You waited too long, but now wait even longer. And what, what's the downside? All right, maybe he could tear his ACL while holding out, playing pickleball or something. That would suck, then his value.

• 10:04Bill Simmons?

  The odds are one in a thousand that that's happening.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  And Schefter said at least one team made, other team was like, oh, I was interested. We would have, we would have given more for Michael Parsons. And Jerry himself said 15 teams contacted him like, that's a lie. Because then you would have gotten a better offer than what basically like Khalil Mack fetched, so.

• 10:24Bill Simmons?

  It seemed like it was six teams. Albert Breer, I thought had a really good, kind of now they tell us piece about why they did this. And he said six. And I'm wondering, like, maybe other teams offered the two firsts, but they, they really let Kenny Clark and somebody that we both know who's, who's been a big Cowboys kind of watcher over the years was like, the Cowboys get infatuated with guys.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  That's right. They love their players.

• 10:48Bill Simmons?

  Like when you got, when you signed Mingo, it's like, oh, we've always loved Mingo. When you traded for Roy Williams, well, we, our scouts loved them. And they probably let Kenny Clark for like eight years and they're like, oh, finally our chance to get Kenny Clark. Doesn't mean you do the trade. I, the, the, this really reminded me of the Mookie Betts trade. Not to bring a Boston team in this, but when it was clear, like they weren't going to figure out the contract. They just didn't agree on what his value was. But they also could have kept him for one more year, had him play out his contract year, and then just taken the draft picks for him when he went somewhere else. And instead they're like, nope, got to do this now. And they made a fucking terrible trade. They got Verdugo and Wong and Jeter Downs. They got 11 cents on the dollar.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  I would have taken Verdugo and Kenny Clark. Verdugo, I would have taken for sure.

• 11:34Bill Simmons?

  But we didn't even get two first round picks of that trade.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:37Bill Simmons?

  But it reminded me of that where, when it happened, everybody, there was no zag. And that was the funniest thing about this Michael Parsons trade. There was no zag. There was nobody like, actually, here's why this makes a ton of sense for Dallas. Like when everybody who follows football, covers football, cares about football is like, that's the dumbest trade I've ever seen.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:58Bill Simmons?

  Probably not a good trade.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. And they, they extended other players because of like the DAC extension doesn't really make sense now, right? Like the CD extension doesn't make sense now. If you don't have Micah there, like that, you would now have to replace one of, if not the best player at that position for the next few years. And the thing, the difference with Mookie Betts is, Mookie had one more year, right? He was playing out his contract year. Cowboys had Parsons under contract for years.

• 12:24Bill Simmons?

  They could have franchised them forever.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Franchise them twice, right? So that's why waiting longer, I think we agree, this is the way to go.

• 12:31Bill Simmons?

  Not, not taking advantage of.

• 12:34Bill Simmons?

  I get it if they're like, it's too much money. We don't think he's worth it. It ruins the seller cap for our team. Cool. But you still had him on a contract for this year.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:43Bill Simmons?

  You still had a chance to be good this year. You still had a chance to move it to October and have some team that doesn't realize that they were going to be good and they're good. And they're like, we'll give you two firsts and a second.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 12:55Bill Simmons?

  You know, I, I just, I thought it was so crazy and I feel bad for you because I know you love the Cowboys.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 13:01Bill Simmons?

  We went to, uh, we went to the stadium together. It's been a long time for you. That Cowboys documentary came out. You came on here, uh, about a couple of weeks ago and we talked about the glory days and a big case of that.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Jerry a little more after that.

• 13:14Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I was like, yeah, nice appreciation. But I think he was like, oh, everyone thinks they know me. They think I'm gonna give in at the last second. Uh, uh. So now, maybe that was his thing. Like, I'm gonna throw a little curve ball here just to fuck with people.

• 13:27Bill Simmons?

  Well, this was not a curve ball. This was a slider in the dirt.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:31Bill Simmons?

  And you, you can't recover from losing a guy this good. It certainly took the Red Sox four or five years. I mean, there's, there's eight guys that really truly matter in the entire league and you're talking about any position. You know, and the fact that he wasn't, like Myles Garrett was available for a split second, but he's what, four years older than Parsons?

• 13:54Speaker 02

  You know, and it's usually. Even the stupid Browns knew to sign their best player.

• 13:57Bill Simmons?

  Right. That's the thing is usually when these guys become available, they're, they're still not arrow pointing up.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:06Bill Simmons?

  Toward like the apex of their career. They're usually like, ah, they probably peaked two years ago, but they can still be at near that level for a couple more years. This was like the rarest chance you could ever have of getting somebody that hasn't even maybe been the best version of himself yet, you know? And, and I think then to trade him in the NFC is the other thing that has to drive you nuts. You're like, really? You can't just send him to fucking Denver or Tennessee or somewhere, anywhere?

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, Jerry, you have history with Green Bay, right? Like, you know, first of all, the Mike McCarthy stuff. All right, there was that weirdness there. The third and 20, obviously with Rogers years ago in the playoffs. You had the Dez catch, like, stay away from the Packers. They're not in our division, but they're our enemies. He's just a mess. It's a complete mess.

• 14:51Bill Simmons?

  We covered this in the NFC over unders. You did not like this Cowboys team to begin with. For from a season standpoint, it was pretty top heavy.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:59Bill Simmons?

  And now you've lost one of the, one of the, the number one person who made the team top heavy. And you have these picks coming that you don't even get to use for April. It almost makes more sense to zag now and just kind of tank the season. But I don't think they're going to do that either.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  No, you're right. They'll be somewhere in the middle and it'll suck. And I guess, yeah, theoretically, if I had them at six or seven wins, what does it matter if they have three or four, right?

• 15:24Bill Simmons?

  It doesn't. And you're in a good conference. Like, they, they could conceivably be one of the worst teams. Like, you're gonna have this Thursday night game that we're gonna do, and do guest the Lions.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:33Bill Simmons?

  Where they're playing this awesome stacked Eagles team.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 15:36Bill Simmons?

  And all the announcers, it's gonna be NBC and it's gonna be Collins where the, I, I, Al, I just, I, I just can't believe they traded Micah Parsons. Al, I just, I would rather slit my throat with a razor blade than do that. Al, like, you just know that's gonna be three hours of it.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Something's missing with this Cowboys defense. I can't, can't put my finger on it.

• 15:59Bill Simmons?

  Is he still with Al? I don't know. Is, did you make that announcement?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Al, Micah Parsons.

• 16:06Bill Simmons?

  Was it Mike?

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Come on, man. Let's get it.

• 16:10Bill Simmons?

  My first guest alliance mistake. Mike, Micah Parsons.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  He just wrecks games. He wrecks them. He wrecks these games, Mike. Mike, why am I calling you Al all year? You gotta, you gotta correct me by week eight.

• 16:24Bill Simmons?

  Mike, are you Al or are you Mike?

• 16:28Bill Simmons?

  Just a train wreck. Listen, we're both old enough to know these trades. There's gonna be no scenario where this is a good trade.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 16:35Bill Simmons?

  None. The Packers are going to be one of, somewhere between first and eighth.

• 16:42Bill Simmons?

  I would say in the league, right? They're gonna have at least 10 wins, probably 11. They might even be really good and be like a one seed, which would be hilarious. You play them this year, don't you?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's week four, you know?

• 16:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, and I could go around there.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  I can't root for them now, so I'll sell some of that. I mean, after we got off with the pod, I bet some Packers to win the NFC and love to win MVP. So I'm happy to sell some of that at a huge discount to anyone listening.

• 17:09Bill Simmons?

  I did that. I did a little more that week. Once I laid out all the research for our podcast, because the odds were still really favorable. Buffalo, Green Bay, I think was 45 to one as a Super Bowl matchup.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Before, before the trade?

• 17:24Bill Simmons?

  Before the trade. Yeah, love was in the 20 and 25 range, but I took all the league stuff seriously. When the Packers thing probably came out 72 hours before that they were really intrigued. And then the day we were taping the podcast, which was last Wednesday, somebody had a report that Dallas was at least listening to calls. And anytime I hear that, it's like the trade's happening. Because once you're actually like, oh, what do you got? Now you're just leveraging everyone against each other. If you have somebody like Michael Parsons, and I call you and I'm like, hey, I'd love to trade for Michael Parsons, you'd be like, cool. You're hanging out. But the fact that they were listening to the calls, he knew as a rep.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  I know. I just thought a stubborn Jerry wins over everything, you know? It's funny. It's funny, but the same fellow we talked about, who's been in the front office and knows us, like, he was on the road. He's like, what did they get for him? I was like, he said, I said, he said, two, two firsts? I'm like, keep going. He said, wow, all right, three. So no, keep going, four. I was like, no, go the other way. Go, go the other way.

• 18:29Bill Simmons?

  Go backwards.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  He's like, you're kidding me. Two? That's terrible.

• 18:33Bill Simmons?

  Can you guess a 30 year old defensive tackle? How about that one?

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, throw that in there. I feel bad going after Kenny Clark. He's a fine player, good player.

• 18:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it seems solid.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:43Bill Simmons?

  Might be, but everyone loves him in the locker room, apparently.

• 18:49Bill Simmons?

  I just like, uh, it, the one thing that I gotta throw my body in front of was people comparing this to Luka Doncic trade. This was not the Luka Doncic trade.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 18:57Bill Simmons?

  In basketball, you basically need three guys to compete for a title and one of those three guys, if it's one of the 10 best guys in the league, you always have a chance.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:07Bill Simmons?

  Football, really it's the quarterback is the only untouchable position and any other position you could talk yourself into a scenario where you could win that. There was some stuff about how Von Miller was the last elite pass rusher to win a Super Bowl. That was 2015. So if you're building your team around, and this is like, you know, the most important guy on your team, the track record is it is a little harder when the Super Bowl, you need the quarterback.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Right.

• 19:32Bill Simmons?

  In the Luca case, Luca is the quarterback. That's like trading Mahomes or trading Joe Burrow or whoever. So I can't compare it to that.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  And the shock value was a 10 because there were not even any rumors about that.

• 19:44Bill Simmons?

  Right. And no offers other than this one Laker offer. Uh, we didn't know at the time that they were gonna miraculously stumble into Cooper flag. And now that's actually a really good trade. So maybe you'll miraculously, maybe can you win the NFL lottery? Have you looked at it? What are the odds?

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we could do that. I said we could get Arch Manning, uh, probably for a fifth round pick now, but we'll see.

• 20:05Bill Simmons?

  Maybe 32. Oh, man. I watched college football a day yesterday. You would have been proud of me.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 20:11Bill Simmons?

  And.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  It was kinda boring though. I wish, right?

• 20:14Bill Simmons?

  OSU game was terrible.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:17Bill Simmons?

  Arch Manning, I, so I bet on OSU. Only because of the, uh, this seems like a pretty big moment for this guy with the spotlight and being in Ohio State. Uh, but the flip side of that is I parlayed it with Clemson because I don't wanna call him out or mention him by name, but Van Lathan told me LSU wasn't gonna win and that Clemson was gonna kill them. So I parlayed that together. I really like Nussmeier.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:43Bill Simmons?

  I think that dude has it. Like, that's the other thing with Dallas and some of these other teams, or like, like the Saints, if the Saints are awful. And you end up with Nussmeier, whose dad played for, you know, the Saints, whose mom was a Saints cheerleader.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Right there.

• 20:58Bill Simmons?

  Who went to LSU, who grew up there. And that's like, if I'm New Orleans, I'm, I'm throwing away the season, which might be what they're doing.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  That seems like where it's go. Yeah. Nussmeier was the best of the quarterbacks who had a decent matchup. There were good quarterbacks who went against division 45 teams, uh, last year, uh, last, last night, but.

• 21:14Bill Simmons?

  He seems like a leader, like, you know, and then I like the fact that he grew up. I was reading up on him, watching the game last night, cause, uh, it, it just seems like checks all the boxes, but also like has some real charisma, whereas I thought that was a rough one for Arch.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Yeah. Arch was bad. I mean, what do you have like 38 yards going into the fourth quarter and then kind of.

• 21:35Bill Simmons?

  He missed like 10 guys. I mean, I mean, and even on that final drive, that third and five throw, the guy's wide open. It's a six yard out and he couldn't hit it, but I know we, the problem with college football is these games don't actually matter.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Well, now.

• 21:49Bill Simmons?

  You lose that game and yeah, and you can lose the game and be fine.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Those two games, both teams, both of, will make the playoffs, all four probably.

• 21:56Bill Simmons?

  Well, do you want to do guess the lines or do you want to just quit the season? What do you, you tell me?

• 22:01Speaker 02

  I'm happy.

• 22:01Bill Simmons?

  You seem so sad. I hate when you have this look on you. You don't normally have this look until the Cowboys are one and four and week five or something.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  I thought we could, I counted Dallas Philly as a loss, so I'm, whatever. I wasn't going to go crazy, but, but going in, I'm happy to be doing this. Like what a stupid summer gambling this was like, what, what color is the dildo gonna be? Is it gonna be green? Let's be green and then they'll throw it at the women and we'll laugh. This was a ridiculous asinine summer, so let's gamble on football. I'm ready.

• 22:30Bill Simmons?

  It was the worst, it was the least amount of sports I think we've had all decade. Cause even if you go back to 2020 and 2021, COVID 2020, but then, uh, when the bubble came back at some point, yeah, the bubble came back. And then in 21, the, the NBA season had been moved back because they started it later. So we had that. And then I think, then we had the Olympics that year too afterwards. And then we had World Cup. Then we had, I just felt like this was the first time we had nothing going on.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. No great soccer, no Olympics this year. The Little League World Series, you could barely bet on these teams. They're too unpredictable. I don't know.

• 23:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it turns out 12 year olds probably aren't as reliable.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Big letdowns.

• 23:12Bill Simmons?

  We're just watching documentaries about women falling off yachts, off cruise ships.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:19Bill Simmons?

  That's all we have. We're in true crime. We're gonna take a break and then we're going to do week one, guess the lines. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. The NFL is back. As you know, FanDuel is making week one even bigger with a chance to win a share of $2 million. You heard me correctly. Bonus bets every game day. That's right, 2 million. Here's how it works. Opt in, place an anytime TD bet on any week one NFL game using your profit boost. And if the player you pick scores either the first or the last TD of the game, you'll earn a share of $2 million in bonus bets. First TD, you're in. Last TD, you're in. Both even better. It's just one more reason of many to bet on the NFL with FanDuel. So whether you've got a feeling about that opening drive, or you're

• 23:59Bill Simmons?

  banking on a clutch finish, now is the time to get in this game. Just take Travion Henderson against the Raiders in week one against their crappy linebackers. Just do it for me. Visit FanDuel.com/BS to download the app today and get started. FanDuel, an official sportsbook partner of the NFL. Must be 21 plus, present in select states, 18 plus, present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Opt in, must apply profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick. Bonus issued is not a draw, but bonus bets expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem, call

• 24:41Bill Simmons?

  1-800-GAMER or visit rg-help.com, call 1-888-789-7777, or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Verizon. Rookie debuts, underdog stories, bold trades. Talk about refreshing. You know what else is refreshing? A brand new phone with Verizon. Get a new phone on any plan with select phone trade-in in my plan. Lockdown at a low price for three years. It's a deal for everyone, whether you're a new or existing customer. Swing by Verizon today. Three-year price guarantee applies to then-current base monthly rate only. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers. All right, Sal, you beat me in Guess the Lines last year.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Yes, I did.

• 25:26Bill Simmons?

  So maybe there's hope for the Cowboys because that, the Cowboys winning the NFC East and you beating me in Guess the Lines is about the same on a miracle skill. Before we start.

• 25:37Bill Simmons?

  There's eight Sunday one o'clock games because we have a Thursday night game, your Eagles, Cowboys. Then we have Friday night in Brazil, Chiefs Chargers. And then we have eight Sunday games and I'm curious. What is, uh, how are you going to rank these from a multi-view standpoint? We have Bucks, Atlanta, Cincy, Cleveland, Miami, Indianapolis, Carolina, Jacksonville, Vegas, Pats, Arizona, New Orleans, Steelers, Jets and Giants, Washington. So for me, obviously Pats, Vegas has to be one of them, but I still think that's a pretty good game and two new coaches and two new, you know, Gino, new quarterback, all that

• 26:19Bill Simmons?

  stuff. Giants, Washington is a must. I really want to see that game. I'm excited for it. I can't wait. I don't, I still don't know what the line is.

• 26:29Bill Simmons?

  And then after that, I don't know. Would you have Tampa Bay, Atlanta as the third one?

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Well, you have to have, yeah, that's in the top, we're picking four, right?

• 26:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  The four, yeah, it's, it's your team. It's Tampa, Atlanta. It's Pittsburgh Jets, just from a narrative point of view, right? You gotta see a couple of quarters of that.

• 26:49Bill Simmons?

  Do you?

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Field and Rogers going back.

• 26:52Bill Simmons?

  Do you? Well, is that going to be like six, three in the fourth quarter?

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Interesting. I hadn't considered, do you?

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that's all it's about.

• 27:02Bill Simmons?

  I would argue the fourth one. So I think that the guarantees are Tampa Falcons, Vegas Pats and, uh, and Giants, Washington. By the way, you can get all of these on YouTube TV if you get Sunday ticket. Um, I think I'm most interested in Carolina Jacksonville for the fourth one with the Travis Hunter piece.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  Are you?

• 27:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Let's consider this.

• 27:24Bill Simmons?

  Are you? From a multi, from a multi-view standpoint.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:28Bill Simmons?

  I'm interested to see when he comes out, like when it's like, oh, third and 11, there's Travis Hunter. Like I'm just immediately going to be fixated on the TV. Plus like. If there was ever a setup for Jacksonville to look good as a fantasy team, as a Trevor Lawrence team, all that stuff in week one, it's going to be this Carolina game because their defense is terrible. So I think I'm leaning toward that one as my fourth, but I might be in the minority. It sounds like you would go, you go Pittsburgh Jets.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  Well, I go Jets. I don't think I'd put Giants, Washington in there. I don't care about that. But I think you're right about Carolina Jacksonville, just a crossover garbage South game. Get it out of the way. Let's see which teal team wins.

• 28:06Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I'm in for Giants, Washington. I think that's going to be a good game. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited for that one. All right, let's do it. Guess the lines. So I give the matchup. Sal and I guessed lines ahead of time. And then Sal's going to tell us the actual line. We did, we did a couple wrinkles for this. We both sent each other lines like a month ago because it's become with, with all the gambling discourse, it's become impossible to avoid the lines, although I've somehow avoided them. So with the caveat, you could move this by a point over the course of four weeks. Like if, for instance, Dallas traded the best player in their team. That would be a scenario where you could move at one point.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Give, give a better example, something that would actually happen.

• 28:46Bill Simmons?

  Something where somebody got hurt or whatever. So our first game is Thursday night Eagles, Cowboys. It's in Philly. I gotta ask, why isn't this a better game? Usually this first Thursday night game is a good game. Why isn't Washington in this spot? How did we end up with the Cowboys, a team nobody thinks is even going to go 500?

• 29:06Speaker 02

  It's just they have to give them the six pack of primetime games, right? It has to be Philly at home, defending champ. And I looked through it. There were some other options. They could have gone some of their AFC matchups, but I'm happy with it. Get it out of the way so I could fully enjoy Sunday. But you're right. Yeah, this could have been a Sunday night game in week 10 or so.

• 29:26Bill Simmons?

  Chris is going to be calling Mike Al, or maybe just I'll be calling Mike Al. All right. So I have the Eagles favored by nine and a half over the Cowboys.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. So you moved that.

• 29:38Bill Simmons?

  I said by that point.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  I said seven, and it's seven and a half. So I get that. I, I, it was actually as low in some spots as six and a half and the Micah trade moved at a point which doesn't seem to make sense. Like, I don't even know if he was gonna play this game if he had suited up in big day anyway, but.

• 29:57Bill Simmons?

  The only thing I can think of, there, there's been a bunch of week one stats that are pretty good because they have so much good, uh, history of, of bet making and odds shifting, all that stuff. Week one divisional home underdogs against the spread since 2010, 23 and 7. And I think that's the only reason that that line's not nine, but I like, how are we not teasing or parlaying the Eagles with something?

• 30:23Speaker 02

  It's the teaser game of the week and shame on you if you didn't have some college along with this to carry over, but, but it could also be Kenny Clark's vandal revenge game. Who knows?

• 30:33Bill Simmons?

  Shame on you unless you had Clemson because Van Lathan told you, oh, see who's gonna lose. Fucking Van, never listening to him again. We should mention, so we're doing this gimmick this year that we talked about, uh, on the over unders, the Ringer 107, betting five games per week. You, and we have six shows going against each other and on Thursday, I'm gonna do my five picks. You're gonna be doing yours. So you're on Ringer gambling. We, we move stuff around this year. Very excited about it. Ringer gambling show is Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and you're on at noon every day live on YouTube. And on Tuesday, you're with Tate. On Wednesday, you're with House.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  House and DeBundo.

• 31:11Bill Simmons?

  House and DeBundo. And then on Friday, who's your Friday team?

• 31:15Speaker 02

  DeBundo and Danny Heifetz. And that's my, that's the, where we'll pick our five, right? So each show picks their five. That's.

• 31:22Bill Simmons?

  So that's gonna be you and DeBundo. Heifetz is just gonna host that part because his fantasy football show is also gonna be in Ringer 107. We're gonna have the Ringer NFL show in there. The Thursday gambling show is in there. Sheil Kapati on the Ringer NFL show, he's in there. And, uh, and we're making five picks a week. The catch is four straight up. The fifth one could be a straight up or a money parlay, parlay, as long as it's minus 120 or other. The Thursday night games are not eligible. If they were, I would absolutely be putting Philly money parlay in with something. Right. Dallas isn't. What's the scenario where you beat Philly? Like just you throw, you throw for 430 yards and get like a weird special teams touchdown? That's the only thing I can think of.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  I mean, a lot of, lot of fumbles on the, like four tush push fumbles that like we've never seen before. I don't know how it would happen.

• 32:14Bill Simmons?

  Tush push just stops. Kenny Clark's just stopping the tush push by himself.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  They changed the rule in the middle of the first quarter. Maybe that's it. That's how we win.

• 32:22Bill Simmons?

  One thing with you, you do have a good special teams and they, they shifted the kickoff this year. So that it's actually more beneficial to the return guys and you have a good return guys. So maybe you'd have to get a touchdown there.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  We'll probably have six or seven kick returns. So that's good.

• 32:37Bill Simmons?

  What do you have penciled in for George Pickens quits on a route and then uh, yells at Dak heading back to the huddle like week four range? Or do you think he would do this this early?

• 32:48Speaker 02

  I thought you said play four. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Week four is out. Oh, there's so much to look forward to. Brian Schottenheimer's got it. He's going to have it all under control.

• 32:57Bill Simmons?

  You should just watch the Netflix documentary over and over again.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do it.

• 32:59Bill Simmons?

  All right. Friday night, we're going back to Brazil.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  I'm proud of you for remembering this. You already, this is one, three years ago, you would have botched this and said, this is at LA, you know, good job by you.

• 33:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Thank you. Um, Chiefs Chargers.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:19Bill Simmons?

  No home field advantage because we're in Brazil. I have no idea if the turf's going to be good. The Chargers, uh, as we discussed in the over under pod with the Rashawn Slater, out for the year stomach punch, which when you get one of those in August, it feels like that's just a bad omen for the year. The one thing they do have going for themselves, Harbaugh, five and O against the spread in week one as an NFL head coach. So there you go. Plus the, uh, the, the division head to head week one stuff's pretty favorable for the underdogs. I have Chiefs favored by six and a half. Would you?

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 33:56Bill Simmons?

  Too high?

• 33:56Speaker 02

  No. I mean, you know, this is in Brazil, but you don't seem to know this is in Brazil. I had two and a half and it's three.

• 34:05Bill Simmons?

  It's fine.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  So you're gonna go.

• 34:08Bill Simmons?

  I'm a little rusty. I'm working the rest off.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  You're betting the Chiefs? I mean, you should bet the Chiefs. You were so off there.

• 34:14Bill Simmons?

  I think that line's gonna go up to five and a half, six by game time.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Man.

• 34:19Bill Simmons?

  Why wouldn't it? We, nobody likes the Chargers this year. We, there was two of our favorite bets was the Chargers under this year.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Oh, everyone looking to take the Chiefs. Everyone wants to take the Chiefs from 15 wins to eight. And I mean, look, I, I think why it should be higher, they're seven and O against the Chargers in the last seven games. I almost, I feel like Harbaugh has the most pressure on him as a coach for week one.

• 34:41Bill Simmons?

  This is a, that's a ridiculous line. I think the line should be at least six. I'll be vindicated. All right. Wow. So you're beating me 2-0 already.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:50Bill Simmons?

  I'm a little rusty. I'm like, I'm like the Cincinnati Bengals of guess the lines. The week one, I'm just a mess.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  There's a cash out button if you want to hit it now. You want to check out of the week.

• 34:59Bill Simmons?

  Sunday marquee. Detroit at Green Bay.

• 35:04Bill Simmons?

  Do we see Michael Parsons in this game, do you think?

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Yes, I do. Yeah.

• 35:10Bill Simmons?

  Well, if we do, he's gonna do good. There's some favorable Packer stuff here, including in the first three games of the season, since 2019, they're 15 and three against the spread.

• 35:24Bill Simmons?

  I thought the Lions would be favored.

• 35:27Bill Simmons?

  A month ago, I could only move my line a point. If I really had to do this, I would probably make the Packers favorites, but I have the Lions by a half point over the Packers. I wish I didn't.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  A half point doesn't exist. You can't do that.

• 35:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, I had them at one and a half, so I moved it a point and I'm at a half point.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  That's not a real thing.

• 35:43Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's what, that's my pick.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Bet a team that doesn't exist.

• 35:46Bill Simmons?

  I, go look at the robot.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  All right. All right. You win. I said Detroit by one. So you've, whoever you have by a half wins because Green Bay is favored by two and a half now.

• 35:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. That's, I would have guessed, if I wasn't handicapped by the original guess, I would, I would have said Packers by two.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 36:06Bill Simmons?

  Interesting. So you lost. Take the loss. The week one division home underdogs, again, 23 and 7 against the spread. So that feels like by the time, and we're doing Ringer Sunday pregame again on Sundays on YouTube, on the Ringer Gambling YouTube channel. That feels like you guys will be talking about that as like a rat line. Packers Lions, where everybody's on Green Bay, but the line is like one and a half. You're like, why isn't this line higher? I'm suspicious of Packers money, Packers momentum, all that.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  I wonder where that settles. Now I look at that, I'm like, wow, Detroit plus eight and a half on teasers, pretty damn good. Week one, especially with all your underdog division things. By the way, maybe we make a blanket statement. Whenever we talk about teasers, everyone else should go do something else. Go clean out your pantry or something.

• 36:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, because nobody does teasers anymore.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  And they don't win.

• 37:00Bill Simmons?

  They change the juice too much. Well, we basically do a money paralyze now, so we could call them MPs.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this case, moving Detroit from two and a half to eight and a half was a... Anyway, I'm curious to see where that settles.

• 37:13Bill Simmons?

  Can I do a random get up guy?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, let's hear it.

• 37:17Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  Oh, you're making adjustments.

• 37:22Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna yell.

• 37:25Bill Simmons?

  I know it's week one, but this is a must win game for the Green Bay Packers. They cannot lose this game and go one game back against Detroit. It will haunt them the whole season.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Great. I love it.

• 37:37Bill Simmons?

  Thank you.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  500,000 views.

• 37:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, must, must win. Is, is this a must win for Green Bay in week one? Guess what? There are no must wins until December, but have your content.

• 37:51Bill Simmons?

  The watchables.

• 37:53Bill Simmons?

  I have one, two, three, four. Do you count Pat's Raiders as a watchable?

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so.

• 37:57Bill Simmons?

  Or is that a fairly watchable?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  No, it's good.

• 38:00Bill Simmons?

  All right. Well, I guess I have, I have five watchables. It's a good week one, considering we shot our wild on Thursdays and Fridays, too. Okay.

• 38:10Bill Simmons?

  Bucks Falcons. I know we don't like the NFC South, but there's a lot of fantasy guys in this game.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:17Bill Simmons?

  It's a scary stretch for Tampa because they basically have two receivers. They're, they have no wherfs, at least for this game. And then Atlanta is missing their starting right tackle, blind side protector for Penix and the guy who is his backup.

• 38:31Bill Simmons?

  I'm just really interested to see what happens in this game. I have, I had to move this. Oh no, I got Bucks minus one.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Bucks minus one. It is.

• 38:43Bill Simmons?

  In Atlanta.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I, I said Atlanta minus one and a half for all those reasons. They're coming in a little bit gimpy. They're injured. But you're right, or righter, Tampa Bay minus two and a half. So you get that one.

• 38:59Bill Simmons?

  We should mention, you picked Tampa Bay to make the Super Bowl.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  I like them to make the Super Bowl. And we talked about this game in particular on our NFC rundown. Like, don't panic if Atlanta wins by 17 this game. Just wait. Tampa will be there when the cream rises to the crop and Atlanta will eventually turn back into the Falcons.

• 39:18Bill Simmons?

  I know it's week one.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Uh oh.

• 39:20Bill Simmons?

  But this is a must win game for the Atlanta Falcons. They could take control of the NFC South. They have them at home. They have to get this game.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  You know, you should do that for every, all 32 teams, how it's a must win and then cut it up. And then send it out to the various cities. It'd be great.

• 39:37Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna, I feel like almost like syndicate it.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, syndicate your, your rent, your get up rent.

• 39:44Bill Simmons?

  So I put this as a watchable, which is ridiculous because probably in five weeks, this would be in the poopfecta. But Jags Panthers, just solely because of Travis Hunter, I'm in. And I'm probably at scale of one to 10, I'm probably like a nine on being excited just to watch how, where he plays and how that unfolds during a game, but I might be too high. I also think this is the setup for the, uh, every, every week one, we have a team that looks awesome and fools everybody.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 40:16Bill Simmons?

  And I think it could be Jacksonville this week. They're home. They're playing Carolina. Bad defense. Coker got hurt on the Panthers, who I think was looming as a little fantasy sleeper guy right after they traded Adam Thielen. So now the Panthers are down, uh, down at receiver. Their defense stinks. And, uh, and I could see the Jags lighting it up and people have been like, Trevor Lawrence is he, has he officially arrived? That's like settled down.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:43Bill Simmons?

  Settle down. He has not arrived. Carolina's defense is terrible.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Oh, come on.

• 40:48Bill Simmons?

  Uh, I have the Jaguars favored by two at home against the Panthers.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  All right. I get this. I said three and a half and it is three.

• 40:56Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  So I nudged you out there. Yeah, I think you're right though. These are two quarterbacks people want to be good. Make the case for, make the case for Carolina to win the NFC South after they go 1-0. Make the case for the Jaguars, even though I have them to win the AFC South, but yeah, this will be, this could be biggest overreaction game.

• 41:14Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Brown came back for the Panthers, but I'm pretty sure he can't play all 11 positions. I haven't checked that, but I think he's only one of the 11 guys on the defense. 49ers Seahawks is going to be, uh, that, I mean, the Seahawks, I've gone all in. I think they're the nobody believes in us team. And then you go on the flip side with the 49ers where no Iuke, obviously Jennings doesn't seem like he's playing in week one. Um, so they, they're, they're down on receivers. Seattle's home. I think they're going to be underdogs. I have the 49ers favored by two and, uh, obviously it's going to be no surprise. The Seahawks will probably be in my ringer 107 on, on Thursday.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  You get this. I had San Francisco by one. You had the 49ers by two, right?

• 42:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I am by one. 49ers favored by two and a half. Yeah. By the way, I have a theory now. It's early. It's too early. We've only gone through like six games. I think two and a half, which we've seen three times now is the new one and a half.

• 42:19Bill Simmons?

  Is the new one and a half? What do we call the one and a half? The Mentos?

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Tic Tac.

• 42:23Bill Simmons?

  Tic Tac.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, because of one and a half calories. Yeah. Yeah. So we have to figure out what two and a half is. We'll, we'll take suggestions.

• 42:32Bill Simmons?

  I feel like the Seahawks, this is a must win week one game for them too, but I'm not going to do it because I'm

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Not doing it.

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  This is a must win game for the Seahawks.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Get up.

• 42:44Bill Simmons?

  Coming up next, top five pass rushers.

• 42:49Bill Simmons?

  Rams Texans is just a really good game. It's in, uh, it's in LA.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:55Bill Simmons?

  There will not be a lot of Houston fans there.

• 42:58Bill Simmons?

  I don't, did we find out if their left tackle is playing for the Rams? I guess that's going to be like just a monitor all week.

• 43:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the blood clots, like just, I, it's a stay away for me, even thinking about betting until we find out what happens with that guy.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 43:13Bill Simmons?

  Uh, I have Rams minus two at home.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  All right. You changed that. You shouldn't have. I had two and a half and it is two and a half.

• 43:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I did change it.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:24Bill Simmons?

  I changed it because the left tackle might not play and Matthew Stafford is in traction. I thought it was worth going down, but yeah, traction and blood clots are scary.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  You've always been weirdly afraid of blood clots. I don't know.

• 43:36Bill Simmons?

  This, uh,

• 43:39Bill Simmons?

  this feels like a, hey Texans defense, let's see it. Nice spot for them, right? Little, little shakiness on that Rams offensive line. Stafford maybe not wanting to get hit. Like, let's go get our guy. We got the best secondary in the league. Let's just blanket some receivers. I, I like the spot for the Texans. I do not like the spot for the next team. The Patriots are home for the Las Vegas Raiders and.

• 44:05Bill Simmons?

  I had this penciled in as a guaranteed win about a month ago. I have no idea if Christian Gonzalez is playing, and this is like a big topic right now with the Pats with, uh, with, on the Pats text threads. Henchmayorman out of texted me about it 17 different times. He's the best player in the defense. He's the shutdown cornerback. Um, he hurt his hamstring a few weeks ago and there's just been kind of radio silence on it. So I would watch that. On the flip side, the Raiders linebackers are really bad and this could be an immediate Trevion Henderson breakout game, but it's a little scary that the Pats look like you're just, oh yeah, they'll be, yeah, something scares me about this game.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  It is scary for you because you're a slight favorite. I'll tell you that. We haven't gone over the number yet. And if you lose though, you have to change your entire opinion of your team for the worse. So I wish you a lot of luck in the words of James Baby Del Dixon.

• 44:57Bill Simmons?

  Pats minus one and a half was my pick.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Our new favorite number, two and a half. Um, and I think I get it here. Where is it? Yeah. I said three. It's two and a half.

• 45:07Bill Simmons?

  You're killing me. What's your lean in this game?

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Uh, I think New England. I think New England, but probably in a stupid way. I'm not sure how.

• 45:20Bill Simmons?

  I might, uh, try to buy the win and take the Raiders just in TFL.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  This could be the 2120 where they don't cover, but they win. Right? Dumb shit.

• 45:28Bill Simmons?

  Fairly watchables. We got Steelers, Jets in Jersey. A hilarious matchup.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 45:36Bill Simmons?

  It's, it's a double revenge game, but neither guy is good enough to get revenge. So I don't know what we would call that. It's like, oh, Justin Fields revenge game. It's like, is it? And then Aaron Rodgers, he could barely move revenge game. I don't know.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Another word starts with R E, but I won't say it, but yeah, revenge. Yeah.

• 45:57Bill Simmons?

  Steelers have, uh, I have the Steelers favored in Jersey by three and a half.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you moved that one too.

• 46:05Bill Simmons?

  I did.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  I went three, kept it at three. It's two and a half. Again, the two and a half.

• 46:11Bill Simmons?

  You gotta be kidding me with these two and a halves.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Get used to it.

• 46:15Bill Simmons?

  I already lost.

• 46:18Bill Simmons?

  It's gonna be hard for me

• 46:22Bill Simmons?

  to not want to pick the Jets when we get to Sunday. No, to pick the Jets on Sunday as a home dog. And yet I don't want to. And this is a non bet. If you bet on this game, you're just desperate to bet on shit. Don't tease this game. Don't parlay it. Just play it straight up if you're gonna do it. Anything is possible in this game.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  This is just sit back and watch it and laugh. It's like you're watching Dumb and Dumber 2 with the kids, you know? You don't have, you don't need any stakes going in.

• 46:51Bill Simmons?

  Could you see the Steelers winning, but winning by a point and not covering?

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Uh, that's a good, that's a fun one.

• 46:57Bill Simmons?

  And what's the Cousin Sal special for this game?

• 46:59Speaker 02

  I haven't seen it. I don't think they

• 47:00Bill Simmons?

  They don't have them yet?

• 47:02Speaker 02

  They don't have that yet. So that would be

• 47:03Bill Simmons?

  They should have that a week before.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  That'd be Jets to be winning at half and then the Steelers to win the game. So you probably get about six to one on that.

• 47:11Bill Simmons?

  Same game parlay. I'm on FanDuel right now. Don't they have the half bets? First half spread.

• 47:21Bill Simmons?

  You do the money line or just the spread? Oh, first half winner.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, do, do it like that if you can.

• 47:28Bill Simmons?

  Pittsburgh minus 110. And then we do Pittsburgh minus, oh no, we want to do the other one at minus 110. This is some riveting stuff.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  We'll figure it out.

• 47:39Bill Simmons?

  How's gonna have to cut at least some of this. Jets to win the first half. Oh, plus 524.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  524, okay.

• 47:48Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  There you go. It could happen. Get it off the board. They, they did it five times a cash last year.

• 47:53Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, you know, FanDuel, they just continue to improve the product, but also they're using some AI. I think they told the AI to factor in the Cousin Sal special.

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Did they really?

• 48:03Bill Simmons?

  Even if they spit this out at eight to one, lower it like by 300.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Oh, well, I think that's illegal.

• 48:10Bill Simmons?

  That's minus eight, 800 two years ago.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Is it bad for the network if I sue FanDuel for that? Because I don't think that's right.

• 48:17Bill Simmons?

  I don't think they liked the Cousin Sal special. It's too lucrative last year. Uh, Washington is home for the Giants. I just wrote down under this one, oh, boy.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Why do you like this so much?

• 48:30Bill Simmons?

  I do. I like this one. Underdogs of six and a half or more in week one since 2006, 49 and 27 against the spread. We already mentioned that division underdog bet. That's 23 and 7. I, every Giants fan I know, and the Giants fans I think are realistic with teams. It is not a fan base. They've won. They don't need to do like the false positive. They like, they're just like, yeah, we suck. We're never going to win with Daniel Jones. I don't like our coach. The Giants fans are in on this season, like across the board. They're like, I like the team. I like everything I'm reading. Dart is not, is going to be in by week five. We're going to have this crazy pass rush. We're going to be able to run the ball a little bit. Neighbors is a freak.

• 49:14Bill Simmons?

  Dayball's in coaching for his career basically right now. I like, so I have Washington favored by eight.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Really?

• 49:22Bill Simmons?

  And I like the Giants.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  I mean, I think your stat that you led with is gonna, like, they, they have to keep it between six, six and a half. I know. With the underdog in the division. I said six, it's six and a half.

• 49:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, just getting absolutely slaughtered. I'd like to, I'd like to apologize.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  I mean, everyone thinks the Giants fans, they lead with the, and they have a great defensive front, but those four guys aren't going to score 20 points a game.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Something's got to change.

• 49:48Bill Simmons?

  It is one of those fronts though, that if they can get a lead or hang around, I think they're in great shape. If they're down 10, then I get a little worried. But, uh, I don't know, I'd be scared of that game. Every year we have the team in that minus six to minus seven range get upset in week one. Last year was the Bengals against the Pats. Like, it's just lock it down. You know what's happening. Here's another candidate. Broncos, home against Tennessee. They're in that range of, you know, be careful. Bo Nix, 8-0 is a favorite.

• 50:20Bill Simmons?

  Rookie QBs having to play on the road in week one, eight and 21, uh, straight up 13 and 14 against the spread since 1970. Number one pick QBs since 1970 in their first start, five and 22, eight and 20 against spread. So all kinds of lines and then the Broncos, when they won last year, they'd win big. I love the Broncos. I picked them to make the AFC title game and to win the AFC West, and I have the Broncos favored by seven and a half.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, you stayed with that. You didn't change it. It is exactly seven and a half. I went seven. So you win that and welcome to the jungle, Cam Ward. Yeah, I went big on that last year, the rookie quarterback not winning, and it was Caleb Williams against Will Levis. I think it was in Tennessee. I think it was Tennessee was winning by 17 and then Levis made some.

• 51:11Bill Simmons?

  You were so mad. Yeah.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  He was the rookie quarterback there. He made throws you'd never seen before and that will never will to blow that game.

• 51:18Bill Simmons?

  I think that's why he doesn't start in the NFL anymore.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  That could be it. Yeah.

• 51:22Bill Simmons?

  Poop Fecta. I'm putting the Broncos in a money line parlay. I'm just telling you now. I hope that line stays around the same. I specifically haven't looked at Lions, done anything, but after we're done with this, I'm gonna, there's gonna be some moves. Poop Fecta. Colts Dolphins.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 51:41Bill Simmons?

  It's in Indianapolis. You could argue this could be in the fairly watchables, but no Jalen Waddle. Not positive who the Dolphins starting running back is gonna be. There's some A chain. Um, maybe play, maybe not. We'll know more of next week. Um, the Dolphins have the stink on them. Almost to the point that I could see a zag where they're actually start out pretty good. People like, oh, nobody saw this coming. Um, I have Colts by one and a half.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  You picked that exactly right. I said Colts by one. Um, and yeah, the Bundo and JJ have a very large stake riding on this game. This is both their teams. I want, this is pathetic. This is the healthiest the Dolphins will be, and they're a dog to Danny Dimes. This is, this is pretty bad for them. Straight there.

• 52:30Bill Simmons?

  I was gonna, so we both went under them at seven and a half, and we had some people in our lives like, watch out, bro. I don't want to say who it was. It was like, watch out, bro. We're gonna be better than that, bro.

• 52:42Bill Simmons?

  They're not even favored in this game. So how are they seven and a half to for over unders?

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Is this, can I lock you into a cross off after this game?

• 52:53Bill Simmons?

  You can lock me into not putting any money in this game because there's no way I'm betting on Daniel Dimes ever.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  The 0-1 team, do we cross off? We like to get rid of one a week. I mean, or do we, can we cross a bolt off now?

• 53:04Bill Simmons?

  You want me to, you want me to say this is a must win? I need like a shirt and tie and a jacket for the must win get up thing. So you're saying must win for either team?

• 53:15Speaker 02

  I think in terms of our cross offs, which are bulletproof, no cross off has ever made the playoffs before.

• 53:20Bill Simmons?

  Can I, can I nudge you in a slightly different direction for this idea?

• 53:24Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 53:25Bill Simmons?

  This to me is like whoever loses, first coach fired, favorite immediately. You're like minus 200 now in that.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:31Bill Simmons?

  Right? Cause like if Steichen loses this, you're, you're now the favorite. And if McDaniel gets, if they get embarrassed and killed, they're now the favorite.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  I think that's a good way to go.

• 53:42Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Bengals Browns.

• 53:47Bill Simmons?

  Bengals at Cleveland.

• 53:51Bill Simmons?

  They have the, that weird, they suck in the first two games of every year. Joe Burrow 1-9 against the spread in the first two games in his career. The Browns, I can't even figure out who's starting at running back for them. I'm in this Guillotine Fantasy League right now and it could, it literally could be anybody. It might be Nick Chubb. He's not even on the Browns anymore. He might be one of the starters. I have no idea who's starting for them.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Should be Ford eventually.

• 54:18Bill Simmons?

  Flacco's the QB.

• 54:21Bill Simmons?

  There's some Sampson guy involved. Miles Garrett is still there. So congrats to him. It's in Cleveland. I don't trust Cincinnati. I will definitely not be parlaying, teasing the Bengals in any way shit perform. I have the Bengals minus eight.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Uh, okay. I get this. I said six and a half. It's five and a half.

• 54:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh, Vegas zone. Our first Vegas zone.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Division game Cleveland for all the reasons. I mean, he's one in 10 this Zach Taylor in the first few weeks of the season. So I think that's why they have it at five and a half. I, I think I said Harbaugh has the most pressure week one. This Zach Taylor is another one. If he loses another one of these clunker games to terrible Cleveland. Come on, that's enough. This might make the four box though. If this is close in the third quarter, we may have to put that on.

• 55:08Bill Simmons?

  Somebody's sneaking into the four box from these bad games.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:11Bill Simmons?

  Somebody will get bounced. Uh, last one is Cardinals in New Orleans.

• 55:18Bill Simmons?

  This has another, this is another one that I'm probably too low. I was stuck with the original pick I had. I think it's higher than, but I'm stuck with what I have to guess. I have Cardinals minus four in New Orleans. It's probably higher.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why are you stuck? I said, I said three and a half and it's five and a half. So you get it. Wait, I gotta add these up now. One, two, three, four, five, six, the one, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, I'm still winning eight, six.

• 55:43Bill Simmons?

  I thought it would be at least six.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, what world is Arizona, who I love this year, laying, laying five and a half on the road. I mean, this is, you get beat by Rattler, so be it. I'm, I'm putting this on a teaser.

• 55:59Bill Simmons?

  Counter.

• 56:01Bill Simmons?

  Don't tease Kyler Murray. Just don't. Why are you doing that? You can't. It's one of the rules. We, it's like one of the foundational rules of the 2020s is don't put Kyler Murray in a tease. You can't. Don't do it.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  I like him too much this year. This has to be a W.

• 56:16Bill Simmons?

  All right. So if you're doing the symbiotic strategy, my symbiotics that I created 15 years ago. Whoever you really like, you just have to back them in week one. So you, this is the perfect spot. The, my question for this is if the Cardinals are, are really good. And we don't know that yet, but in week eight, we will know that what would this line? We'll look back. We always look back at these week one lines. They're like, wow, the Cardinals were only minus five and a half. That would be like minus 13 now.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:44Bill Simmons?

  So could that be the candidate for this?

• 56:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that could be something like that. Right. Well, the Saints are already tanking. It's not even Halloween.

• 56:51Bill Simmons?

  Or, or it's wow, the Cardinals were favored by minus five and a half on the road. How fucking stupid were we?

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Saints not favored. Jesus. Remember what the Saints did last year with a more promising quarterback crew there. They won. They scored 40 points in each of their first two games or something against my team, and then just fell apart.

• 57:10Bill Simmons?

  We never talked on the over under pod about your feelings on Kellen Moore as a head coach because they, your feelings weren't exactly excited as, as your offensive coordinator. I can't say you were like a giant Kellen Moore fan.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  No, no, and I'm happy for him and everything, but this is a, I think this is the worst spot a coach has been thrown into in a long time, right?

• 57:31Bill Simmons?

  It is definitely a, I needed a job kind of spot, you know, that because you don't ever want to go to a situation with a bad ownership group that also doesn't have a quarterback. But if you think like, can I just hold on for a year and then we get Nussmeier? Now I'm feeling pretty good.

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. And this was the last spot to fill, right? Because I had to wait for Kellen Moore and the Super Bowl to end and everything. But there was a point where you're like, wow, maybe Kellen Moore doesn't want this and nobody wants this job. Maybe they're talking still in May about who's going to coach this.

• 58:00Bill Simmons?

  It's all of a sudden Hugh Jackson is the head coach. Sunday night, fantastic game. Bills Ravens. It's in Buffalo. You can't do better.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 58:10Bill Simmons?

  This is the best possible AFC game from an entertainment standpoint. Sorry, Kansas City. It might be the best game you could just put together, period for a week one. Ironically, I did pick Buffalo minus two and a half for this one.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did too. And it's one and a half. So it went back to the old one and a half, our friend. But yeah, this is, I don't know, I'm trying to think of what our reaction, is it going to be an overreaction coming on the pod after this? If the Ravens win by a field goal, the new kicker boings it off the upright at the buzzer and you're going to be like, are the Ravens a team to beat for the rest of the decade? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. Yes, you're right. They are. And then everyone kills us.

• 58:52Bill Simmons?

  I have the Ravens losing this game. I mean, when I did all the prep before the season, I had this as NL. I have them two and two coming out of the first four and then like winning everything after that. As you know, I'm all in on the, this is Josh Allen's year. I picked them to win, to win, to win the Super Bowl. And I just think you have to win this game if you're the Bills. I wouldn't call it a must win, but this is a good, we're here. The AFC is going to actually run through us this year and we're going to smack the Baltimore around a little bit.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  What a great game. I'm very excited. They're very hard to beat at home. We talked about this is mid 90s Bills again. They had like three losses in two and a half years at home.

• 59:35Bill Simmons?

  So I'll see you right after the game, live on my YouTube channel that will also run as a podcast. It's a video podcast on Spotify, but we're going boom, live, ready to go. You won't be sad because the Cowboys will have played 72 hours earlier. You'll be in a good mood. I can't wait. Monday night, Bears Vikings in Chicago. Justin Jefferson, mild hamstring strain. Not sure what's going on with him yet. Adam Thielen, age 35, they had to trade for him because Addison's out for three weeks. J.J. McCarthy in a possible Arch Manning spot, playing in Chicago. And with a lot of pressure on him and a lot of eyeballs.

• 1:00:22Bill Simmons?

  And yet I think the line is only Chicago minus one and a half.

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  Um, it's Minnesota minus one and wait, let me make sure I got this.

• 1:00:31Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  It's Minnesota minus one and a half, and that's what I had.

• 1:00:34Bill Simmons?

  Holy mackerel.

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  That's what it'll be. And that's a win for me. Yeah.

• 1:00:38Bill Simmons?

  So I, I promise you, I'm going to be taking the Bears in Ringer 107. You can lock that down right now.

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  Could this be the Levis Williams game from last year with the year two quarterback goes against the year one quarterback? And we just assumed that we, but then like Caleb Williams sucks this year. I don't know. I wonder, I wonder.

• 1:00:58Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:01:01Bill Simmons?

  Wow. I'm really surprised the Vikings are favored because on the over unders, the Bears are eight and a half and the Vikings are nine and a half.

• 1:01:09Bill Simmons?

  Right? The Vikings are not healthy and the Bears are.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:14Bill Simmons?

  I think this line shifts. I, I'm going to predict, I think by game time on Monday, I think this is Bears minus one and a half.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  Too much Minnesota love here.

• 1:01:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I don't get that. Rookie QB on the road. Plus like the chance to bet on a home dog on a Monday night in week one in a division matchup. Like too many, uh, too many things for that.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Sorry, I'm touting here. I have, it's like signing a golf card at the end of the round. You're like, you won't, the win won't count.

• 1:01:37Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you're like Tommy Fleetwood.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have to sign.

• 1:01:39Bill Simmons?

  Just gotta make sure I nail this.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  10, seven, one, nothing on the year. Okay, good. Now I could talk to Jim.

• 1:01:45Bill Simmons?

  Not a strong start for me. I'm just glad I know the lines. Um, okay. We're going to take a quick break then, uh, quick bank one.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

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• 1:02:17Speaker 03

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• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  I needed more from my antidepressant, so my doctor added Caplyta lumateperone, proven to provide greater relief from depression symptoms than an antidepressant alone, building on my progress without starting over. Caplyta is for adults with major depressive disorder when used with an antidepressant and is available by prescription only. Individual results may vary. In clinical trials, weight gain was not common.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

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• 1:03:16Speaker 04

  Ask your doctor about Caplyta. Learn more at caplyta.com or call 888-252-4824.

• 1:03:22Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat, or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who knows what, you're going to want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn, or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs, or the weather's fault, you're going to want WeatherTech. For American-made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh in the face of fall weather, visit weathertech.com today. And now it's time for Draft Recap, presented by our friends at Yahoo Fantasy. Yahoo Fantasy, the best place to play fantasy football this season. Season starts on Thursday, September 4th. You can do the new Yahoo Fantasy Guillotine Leagues. Lowest scoring team gets eliminated instantly. You play with your friends with the new draft with friends mode. You can do a private league, do a public league. Knock yourself out.

• 1:04:06Bill Simmons?

  Yahoo has everything. It's the best place to play. We did our big Ringer Yahoo Fantasy Draft, snake draft last week. Controversial, I took five quarterbacks. I didn't like the options. I had the first pick. By the time it got back to me, I wasn't that excited about just grabbing one. Got to the fifth round. Some guys were gone. I was like, screw it. I'm just gonna keep taking awesome guys and then I'll address the QB later. And I just rolled the dice. Caleb Williams, Trevor Lawrence, Michael Pennix. I just kept, kept taking guys hoping one of them hits like Baker Mayfield hit last year. Was it a great strategy? I don't know. Did I have fun? Yeah, I did. And if it worked, I look like a genius,

• 1:04:46Bill Simmons?

  which is all I care about. The season is almost here. All you have to do is draft now at yahoo fantasy.com slash bringer. All right, parent corner. We've been doing this for a long time. My kids are grown up. You still have a younger one. I don't, for my parent corners this season, I'm gonna really have to lean on my parents versus my kids because they're way funnier and way more interesting.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 1:05:13Bill Simmons?

  So I'm just, all parents are eligible for parent corner. And Sal and I are hitting the point where our parents are old. We're taking care of them in a lot of different ways. And, and the comedy is just coming pretty, pretty fast and furiously at this point. But you still have young Harrison entering the sixth grade, plus Jack still in, still in high school. And I feel like you have more comedy weapons than I do.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you have Zoe Jr. in college. I have Archie Jr. in college.

• 1:05:45Bill Simmons?

  Zoe's like a 30 year old at this point. Plus, if I did a parent corner about her, she'd fucking kill me.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  Well, that's the whole thing.

• 1:05:49Bill Simmons?

  So that's out.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta, everybody's listening now. Well, I recommended years ago, you, you adopt someone because it's a kid and, and you could still do it. And I could, I could put in a good word for you with our friend Brad, who I got custody of. He's also, he's screaming in another room right now for no reason. I don't know why. He was screaming at the UCLA quarterback last night, 10 o'clock at night. Captain, now is he a captain? Just nuts. I mean, and so we got. Custody of him every Labor Day weekend and the whole visit is just a, an overload of beef ribs and orange Shastis cola and napping and screaming at commercials. So.

• 1:06:29Bill Simmons?

  But when you say get custody, it's not like he belongs to somebody else. You basically inherited him for Labor Day weekend. Yeah.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. So Jimmy Kimmel Live is off for a couple of weeks. So he hasn't seen people in a while. So we bring him out. So, right. So, and then, so, and it's always fun. The kids love him. But so I'll give an example, but some of the things he says. Oh, first of all, we went for barbecue. Um, the waitress said, uh, he ordered a beef rib, which is his favorite. She says, it's on the menu. And she's like, no, we don't sell those anymore. He walked off. He walked off and, uh, we didn't see him for two minutes and the waitress is like waiting, like just waiting confused and then he comes back.

• 1:07:08Bill Simmons?

  Stood up and left?

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  He stood up and walked off and I thought it was for comedy, but then like two minutes, it was like a solid two minutes. I was like, all right, but just wait here because I don't want you to have to come back. And then he comes back and he accuses of her of not looking hard enough for beef ribs. Like they're back there somewhere. I know they are. And she doesn't get the joke. And then five minutes later, we had a totally new waiter as it was. So that's, that's just an example.

• 1:07:31Bill Simmons?

  Good idea. Yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. He's in the basement. He's looking at the shitty little trophies. My kids have a mask over the ears and he tells them, listen, if you ever choose to commit murder, do not leave your trophies in the trunk of your car because that's the first place the cops are going to check and it's going to seem like you were looking to flee. And so they're like, all right. But, um, my favorite parent corner life advice thing is what he said to them yesterday. He has sits and dies like, listen, there are seven billion YouTube shorts posted by parents where they think their kids are doing something smart or funny. And out of the seven billion, only four kids total are smart or funny. So don't ever post videos of your stupid kids.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  They're not going to be smart or funny. Nothing against you. It's just math. It's not personal. So that's my parent corner.

• 1:08:19Bill Simmons?

  What did they say? What was the response to that?

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  More confusion, laughing, can't tell. By the way, I more or less agree with that.

• 1:08:28Bill Simmons?

  Didn't you also, you had a thing where you, you walked to get ribs, but the bar was too packed? And then Brad couldn't walk back. So you then had to walk back and get the car to pick him up?

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  He was too disabled. He has an inexplicable limp for the last 25 years. And it was kind of walking back to my house is kind of uphill. And I was like,

• 1:08:45Bill Simmons?

  Why did you decide, but why did you decide to walk anywhere with him?

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  Well, because it's parking, it's Labor Day weekend. It's crazy. I can park by you. I'd be closer than, uh, if I can try to get a spot. So, um, I don't know. Yeah. We bit off more beef ribs than we could chew there.

• 1:09:01Bill Simmons?

  What is Brad on the iPhone? What are his steps every day? You think?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Is it over a thousand? Well, his phone hasn't worked. His phone hasn't worked in six weeks. He is pacing around a lot. So a lot of Shasta soda, cola.

• 1:09:18Bill Simmons?

  My parent corner. So my mom has just gone up seven levels as a character.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:09:24Bill Simmons?

  Including when David Chang asked me to be on Dinnertime Live and I wanted her to, the recipe for meatballs. She thought that I wanted her to make the meatballs and was preemptively upset about it, that she'd have to cook on a Monday and do all this work. And it was a misunderstanding. I gave her four days to prepare, but the, the problem was she had made ravioli for my son and me when my wife was away, but didn't tell us she was making it. We didn't ask for it. You know, she lives far enough away from us. It's hard to get. And she made the ravioli and she's like, Hey, I made you guys ravioli. You gotta come and get it. And Ben's, you know, he's about to be a high school senior. He's the least reliable person probably on the planet.

• 1:10:09Bill Simmons?

  I don't even ask him to go get me a water at this point. And then I was like legitimately busy doing stuff. So it was never able to get over there, which then made her mad and she had a grudge about it for like, like two, three weeks. That she cooked us the ravioli and we never came to get it, but we never asked for the ravioli. So I had to like navigate that whole thing with her. But as you know, with the moms, they, they start taking stuff personally. But the thing I noticed this, so she watches these movies. She, she subscribes to BritBox and all this stuff on Amazon. And she watches all these different things, but can't remember the title or who was in the shows. And then tries to tell you about what the program was, right? So she was telling me about some movie the other day.

• 1:10:54Bill Simmons?

  Couldn't remember who was in it, but it was like, you know, the English lady. I there's a lot of English actresses that didn't really narrow it down for me. And then it was something and there was a and just couldn't get it. And I was thinking there should be a Shazam for moms. And I can't remember if SNL maybe did a version of a sketch about this. I can't remember, but, um, but something like where they start describing what the show is, and then I can just put it in the app.

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:11:20Bill Simmons?

  And it translates your mom where she's like, so it was on Amazon. That that English lady was in it and it and she gets murdered. And then there's and it, but it's really good. You got to watch it like there's just barely enough breadcrumbs to know what the show is. And then I put it into my app and it's an AI spits out like, that's actually the new movie with Kristen Scott Thomas. There is no spy thing. She has three daughters and that's just, we just basically mom translator. I think she needs it.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Said anything because it's too good. It's a good idea and you should have just pursued it and done it.

• 1:11:53Bill Simmons?

  And just like done it by that called called Alec, had him like fund it.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Call our buddy Alec. You should call it Shazama, like a grandma kind of thing.

• 1:12:02Bill Simmons?

  Shazama. Does your mom do this where she just gives you recommendations?

• 1:12:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it becomes like a game of charades. Like, oh, she was in the movie, but then she broke up with the guy and then they had a baby.

• 1:12:13Bill Simmons?

  It's not Jennifer Aniston, but she looks like her.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. Yeah.

• 1:12:16Bill Simmons?

  I don't so when you get you hit a certain point after you've had a couple of kids and lived your life, you just can't remember anyone's name anymore who's in a movie or TV show. Is that that where we've landed?

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  But it ends up being six degrees of like, we could navigate it at this age because we remember the act of like, okay, I know he was in this thing, so I'll go to his IMDB or I'll go to that show, that movie's IMDB.

• 1:12:39Bill Simmons?

  And like, if you give me Scarlett Johansson, I can now go in and be like, all right, Scarlett Johansson. So this sounds like a mom.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  I like Shazama. I think that's great.

• 1:12:47Bill Simmons?

  Shazama.

• 1:12:47Speaker 02

  That's very, very helpful. I it could, it'd be great for like them remembering your friends too, although that would be a little more difficult to detect, right?

• 1:12:55Bill Simmons?

  Whatever happened to that one guy who lived over on Hammond Road? And, um, yeah, his father went to jail for a minute.

• 1:13:04Speaker 02

  Brad?

• 1:13:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I saw, I randomly, over the course of a couple of weekends, saw a bunch of my old friends, and it brought her delight to no end.

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:14Bill Simmons?

  When the old friends get together, it really like makes them happy. Anyway, Shazama, the new, uh, new parent corner.

• 1:13:23Bill Simmons?

  A house is, that could be a half baked idea. I have to pitch it to Wilds. Um, all right. So we're going to take a break, come back. The last thing we have on this podcast is, we taped on Thursday, we did our whole back and forth, uh, NFL futures draft that you did really well on last year.

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  I did. I won. I had both, uh, offensive rookie and defensive rookie of the year. So that's how I, uh, that's how I won it.

• 1:13:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So we just went snake fashion. We did a Fogo to Chow style. We just kept throwing props at each other until we ran out.

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  It's a half hour. There's a lot of dead air, but it's nice. It's a nice breezy listen, but I do have a couple of plugs here. I want to, we got to talk about a couple of things here. Three days a week, three days a week on the Ringer Gambling Channel. That's me, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.

• 1:14:03Bill Simmons?

  Live, live at noon ET on the Ringer Gambling thing. And you're also going to be posting shorts and all kinds of quick stuff.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  I have an interview with Michael Irvin this week. I only have like a million things to ask him. Tuesday starts with Tate. We'll go over the college week. Tate went three and one with his picks. Kid's good. Uh, we'll talk about Bella Cheats debut as an underdog against TCU Monday and looking ahead to week one NFL.

• 1:14:25Bill Simmons?

  By the way, heavy, heavy MJ rumors on the sideline for that North Carolina game. Yeah, there's some rumors. There's some buzz.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  There could be two Jordans, the girlfriend Jordan and the, and the Michael Jordan.

• 1:14:34Bill Simmons?

  Double Jordan.

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Real quick, I'm hosting an eliminator pool, 250,000 to the winner. Splash Sports, Cousin Sal's loser take all. But finally, our friend Tony's turn to kick someone out of our fantasy league on Tuesday. And I just want to say that Tony is the most talented fellow I have ever met. He was amazing as Mole and John Quincy Adams in Windy City Heat, as Niall Standish and crank anchors, Jake Byrd, possibly the funniest character in late night history. He cooks, he snowboards, he fixes shit. He's a renaissance man, incredible family. His youngest son went off to college this week. Just a special talent, great guy. Can't say enough about him. I don't know if you have anything nice to say about him, but.

• 1:15:15Bill Simmons?

  I mean, once upon a time, me, you and Tony shared after our friend Daniel got fired.

• 1:15:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:15:21Bill Simmons?

  We took over his office and it was me and you and Tony. And it's some of the best memories of my entire life, just getting to spend that much time with the team in.

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:29Bill Simmons?

  So whoever he chooses to vote out on Tuesday, I'm sure it'll be a really good, smart pick that he put a lot of thought into. And if it happens to be one of us, I'd still respect the hell out of him because he's that great of a guy.

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it sounds like you're pandering. Like, I really meant what I said, but you're, you're, you're sounding a lot like pandering, but that's fine.

• 1:15:47Bill Simmons?

  One of the funniest people ever, uh, one of the nicest people ever. Huge fan of the Celtic City Doc sent me a nice, long text about it. And just somebody I really treasure as a human being.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. Good job, Tony. Don't fuck this up, please.

• 1:16:00Bill Simmons?

  Who's the favorite to get voted out?

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  I don't know. It might be the guy wandering around with the, looking at everyone's trophies in my, the next room over here. I'm not sure.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  All right. Well, I'll see you on Tuesday. Sorry about Michael Parsons. We'll be back. Give me a quick good job by you.

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:16:16Bill Simmons?

  Good job by you. We'll be back with the futures draft right after this. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead, but what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun. One, two, three, Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game, only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV.

• 1:16:58Bill Simmons?

  It shows you your live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. All right, you'll be watching and listening to this on a Sunday, but we are recording this late Wednesday afternoon.

• 1:17:20Bill Simmons?

  Futures draft, second annual. We had such fun with this. Who won last year?

• 1:17:25Speaker 02

  I did. This one I won. You crushed with the over/unders. I had both rookies of the year.

• 1:17:30Bill Simmons?

  Right. So it's basically one unit and if there's all kinds of great, like if you do like a 10 to 1 and it hits. So we'll, we'll keep track of it. What we do is somebody gets the first pick, somebody gets the next two, somebody gets the next two and we, we go that way.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  It's a baby.

• 1:17:45Bill Simmons?

  Futures that we like. I'll give you the, do you want the first pick or second and third? What do you want?

• 1:17:49Speaker 02

  Second and third.

• 1:17:50Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I'll go first pick then.

• 1:17:55Bill Simmons?

  Philly, KC and Baltimore to make the playoffs minus 110.

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  Oh, you're, it's over. You lost.

• 1:18:01Bill Simmons?

  I'm locking it down. Thank you.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  That's good. That's good.

• 1:18:05Bill Simmons?

  That is a, we've done, been doing this for I don't know how many years where we put together a parlay like that and you say, who's losing that Simmons?

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:18:15Bill Simmons?

  I can't come up with a team that loses that. It would have to be a Kansas City catastrophe.

• 1:18:20Speaker 02

  That was it.

• 1:18:20Bill Simmons?

  It's the only thing I can think of.

• 1:18:21Speaker 02

  And we went through that. That's even odds about minus 110?

• 1:18:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, minus 110.

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:18:25Bill Simmons?

  All right, you have the next one.

• 1:18:26Speaker 02

  All right, I will go.

• 1:18:30Speaker 02

  In this order for the AFC North, Ravens, Bengals, Steelers, Browns. Plus 310.

• 1:18:37Bill Simmons?

  Okay, plus 310. So you think Pittsburgh will be the three seed is basically the bet. It's a smart bet.

• 1:18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think what it, what, what?

• 1:18:46Bill Simmons?

  You're basically going Cincinnati versus Pittsburgh for that two spot. I agree with you. I think that's a good one. I like that. All right, what's your next one?

• 1:18:54Speaker 02

  Oh, that's right. I get two. All right, I'll do this one. This is very tough. NFC North, I know you don't like this. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings in that order.

• 1:19:02Bill Simmons?

  Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings.

• 1:19:06Speaker 02

  Plus 1300.

• 1:19:07Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  It's tough. It's like a newborn figuring out a Rubik's cube, but I have to take a chance here. You would reverse? Packers and Lions, right?

• 1:19:18Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I would do Green Bay winning that one as we covered in the NFC podcast. Yeah, I wouldn't, the NFC North, I'm surprised you mess with that this early in the draft.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  I know. It's all right.

• 1:19:27Bill Simmons?

  This is why I'm gonna beat you this time around.

• 1:19:29Speaker 02

  Got a lot more, got a lot more.

• 1:19:31Bill Simmons?

  All right. I'm gonna do a Homer pick for this next one.

• 1:19:38Bill Simmons?

  It's the New England Patriots to finish in second place. In the AFC East is plus 170. As we discussed, I don't see any scenario where Buffalo loses the AFC East unless Josh Allen gets hurt. I don't see the Jets or Dolphins passing the Pats. Plus 170 great odds. I would almost rather bet that than the playoff. I think those are better odds than the playoff.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:20:04Bill Simmons?

  So I'm grabbing that.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  That's pretty good. I would, I wrote that down, by the way. I had second or third. Let's say you were a millionaire. Let's say you put $100 million on plus 170 and 100 million on plus 220. You can't lose that. They're coming in second or third.

• 1:20:20Bill Simmons?

  So the only way you lose that is if Drake May gets hurt, basically. Okay.

• 1:20:23Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:20:24Bill Simmons?

  And my other pick,

• 1:20:27Bill Simmons?

  which I really like, and I'm surprised you didn't take it off the board. This is on Fanduel. This is one of the Ringer specials on Fanduel. New Orleans or Cleveland.

• 1:20:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Bill Simmons?

  Under three and a half wins. Minus 130.

• 1:20:42Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 1:20:43Bill Simmons?

  So one of those teams has to suck, basically. And I think both of them might suck. I actually wish there was a, you could do both of them at the same time. But I just don't see any scenario where both of those teams win four games.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  You could have that wrapped up by like Thanksgiving somehow.

• 1:20:58Bill Simmons?

  I feel good about that. I like backing the, the teams with the worst quarterback situations in the entire league. All right, you're up with two.

• 1:21:04Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  I'm up with two. All right. I'm gonna steal this from you because I know you like it. Jordan Love, MVP. 20 to one, you said?

• 1:21:13Bill Simmons?

  25.

• 1:21:14Speaker 02

  25. Great. I'll take it. Love Matthew Golden. Love that offense.

• 1:21:18Bill Simmons?

  Really smart. I should have taken that. God damn it.

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Carolina, Cleveland, Giants. In December, he's in the conversation at 20 to one.

• 1:21:25Bill Simmons?

  You got one more.

• 1:21:27Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go chase Offensive Player of the Year, plus 800. You know, everyone's picking this guy first overall in every fantasy. That's probably the reason. Henry and Barkley slow down. I think this leaves the door open. Had 17 touchdowns and 1700 yards, so. Wide receivers do. Hasn't won in three years.

• 1:21:44Bill Simmons?

  This is how you won last year. You won big odds.

• 1:21:46Speaker 02

  Get big numbers. What do you, what do you care? Even odds.

• 1:21:49Bill Simmons?

  That's smart.

• 1:21:52Bill Simmons?

  Well, I'm gonna have to take a division. Oh, I already did that one, though.

• 1:21:56Speaker 02

  You wanna tap out?

• 1:21:58Bill Simmons?

  Well, we're doing FOGA to Chow rules.

• 1:22:00Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 1:22:01Bill Simmons?

  Which, uh, which means we just keep doing props back and forth until somebody quits.

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Someone throws up.

• 1:22:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Um, okay.

• 1:22:12Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do.

• 1:22:16Bill Simmons?

  Uh, those aren't great odds on that. Fine. I'll do this one.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  Rattled now. That's sad.

• 1:22:23Bill Simmons?

  No, this is a good one. I'm surprised you didn't take it. The odds aren't great. Miami, Cleveland, New Orleans, and Tennessee all missed the playoffs.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, wow. I have it right there.

• 1:22:32Bill Simmons?

  Plus 105.

• 1:22:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like even a 105. Shit.

• 1:22:37Bill Simmons?

  So who screws that up? Tennessee?

• 1:22:38Speaker 02

  Nobody. That's good.

• 1:22:40Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee, maybe going nine and eight, getting a seven seed?

• 1:22:44Speaker 02

  I mean, it's your Brown Saints bet, but you're giving yourself more leeway, like three or four more wins.

• 1:22:51Bill Simmons?

  Well, I'm gonna double back up on it. Uh, I won't do that. I already did that. Um, okay. This is a good one. I like this one.

• 1:23:00Bill Simmons?

  Denver or Green Bay to be the one seed in their conference, plus 550. Just a fun way to bet on Green Bay to be the one seed, but then you get the Denver odds down. One of those two. Yeah. Denver or Green Bay, plus 550 as the one seed.

• 1:23:18Speaker 02

  That's on there. They don't have first coach fire, but they have Denver or Green Bay?

• 1:23:22Bill Simmons?

  Denver or Green Bay. I get to bet on Matt LaFleur and Sean Payton.

• 1:23:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:23:26Bill Simmons?

  You get Bo Nix or Jordan Love. Good times. All right, you're up with two.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  All right, I will say.

• 1:23:34Speaker 02

  All right, I'm gonna do the NFC South. I shouldn't, but Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, plus 500. I like that. I feel like there's some hedging to be had in there.

• 1:23:44Bill Simmons?

  Plus 500? That's it?

• 1:23:45Speaker 02

  Plus 500. What do you mean that's it? That should be more?

• 1:23:49Speaker 02

  New Orleans is kinda locked for fourth.

• 1:23:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. What's your next one?

• 1:23:54Speaker 02

  I'll get one more. Uh, Aiden Hutchinson, Defensive Player of the Year, plus 700. I think he gets a sympathy vote. He puts together numbers like he did last year.

• 1:24:03Bill Simmons?

  Plus 700.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  Plus 700. He had seven and a half sacks in five games. He was on his way to shattering definitely a personal high, but for the year.

• 1:24:11Bill Simmons?

  Well, if you remember, I had him in our futures draft and he was like 14-1.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:16Bill Simmons?

  That one really hurt.

• 1:24:18Bill Simmons?

  Okay, we're gonna go Burrow most passing plus 500 that he has the most passing yards in the league. I was a little scared of the most passing bets, but in this case, I think he's the only guy who could actually throw for 5,000. He played 17 games.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  Hit a lot. What did he have last year?

• 1:24:39Bill Simmons?

  Close. Yeah, he's the only one I could see doing that.

• 1:24:42Speaker 02

  Five to one. That's good.

• 1:24:44Bill Simmons?

  And then I'm gonna double up on Joe Burrow.

• 1:24:48Bill Simmons?

  Burrow throws for 4,500 plus yards.

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Saw this.

• 1:24:54Bill Simmons?

  And the odds on that one are plus 165. So it's almost a little bit of a hedge on my most passing. Basically, if he gets hurt, I lose both. You're up.

• 1:25:04Speaker 02

  These individuals are so tough because of the week 18, you don't know. All right, I'm Akubuka. I screamed about that a lot. Offensive Rookie of the Year, 16 to one. I think it's Bucks. Offense is gonna be dynamite. Lots of opportunities, lots of favorable matchups. With Godwin in or out, who knows? You said it. Brian Thomas type year, 1300, 10 touchdowns.

• 1:25:23Bill Simmons?

  It's really good.

• 1:25:24Speaker 02

  The number one.

• 1:25:25Bill Simmons?

  16 to one on that?

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  16 to one.

• 1:25:26Bill Simmons?

  Jesus.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  The number one overall pick has won the award only once in the last 13 years. I thought that was interesting. So it was 40 to one earlier in the year, but I'm going 16 to one.

• 1:25:36Bill Simmons?

  Okay, what's your next one?

• 1:25:37Speaker 02

  Next one, Mike Green, Defensive Rookie of the Year. This is a guy on the Ravens.

• 1:25:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you're going deep cut?

• 1:25:42Speaker 02

  Deepoy was his nickname in college at Marshall for Defensive Player of the Year. So he could be explosive. I know there's personal issues, maybe dominated the Senior Bowl. He left the Senior Bowl early. He was like that good. The Ravens were second in sacks last year, so he's 22 edge rusher. Don't forget that name.

• 1:26:01Bill Simmons?

  What are the odds?

• 1:26:02Speaker 02

  1100.

• 1:26:05Bill Simmons?

  Would you describe our friend Brad as having personal issues?

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  All of them. Every single personal issue.

• 1:26:12Bill Simmons?

  Every conceivable personal issue?

• 1:26:16Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I'm gonna do Denver makes the playoffs and Cincinnati doesn't make the playoffs. That's a parlay for plus 230. You like that one?

• 1:26:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:26:29Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:29Speaker 02

  Denver playoffs, Cincy. Interesting that you could do that. I mean, that was a day when there was no way you could double dip.

• 1:26:35Bill Simmons?

  You know why we could do that? Cause that was a Ringer special on Fanduel.

• 1:26:37Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 1:26:38Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh,

• 1:26:41Bill Simmons?

  I don't need to do that yet. Okay, here, let's do this.

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:26:46Bill Simmons?

  Geno Smith, Pete Carroll,

• 1:26:49Bill Simmons?

  Tom Brady, Brock Bowers and the Las Vegas Raiders. Eight plus wins, plus 150. I think they go at least eight and nine.

• 1:26:57Speaker 02

  It's good.

• 1:26:57Bill Simmons?

  Had to grab that one.

• 1:27:00Speaker 02

  That's solid.

• 1:27:02Bill Simmons?

  What do you got?

• 1:27:02Speaker 02

  All right, I have,

• 1:27:07Speaker 02

  uh, okay. There's a new award. Did you even know this? Protector of the year.

• 1:27:11Bill Simmons?

  I saw that.

• 1:27:12Speaker 02

  Penny Sewell consistently earns like the highest blocking ratings, PFF, you know, includes, you know, leads the NFL with the 95-1 PFF, 23, 24. Deion Dawkins and Andrew Whitworth got together and created this war. I don't know if they threatened, but there's a new OC. I get it, but if he plays this game, I don't see it mattering.

• 1:27:33Bill Simmons?

  Where are the odds?

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  Plus 460. The only one who could challenge him is Big Dom. Considered a protector? I do worry about that. It's almost exactly what he is.

• 1:27:45Bill Simmons?

  What's your next one?

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Robert Sala, assistant coach of the year.

• 1:27:49Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God, that's an award?

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, baby.

• 1:27:51Bill Simmons?

  Is that on Fanduel?

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  Sure. Plus 800.

• 1:27:54Bill Simmons?

  Wait, I gotta look this up.

• 1:27:55Speaker 02

  A Cody.

• 1:27:56Bill Simmons?

  What, what site are you on? Is this season leaders or awards?

• 1:28:00Speaker 02

  Awards, it's like the last one.

• 1:28:02Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God. I didn't realize it went that far.

• 1:28:04Speaker 02

  Pick one, it's fun, those are fun.

• 1:28:09Bill Simmons?

  Oh, well then I'm doing Aiden Hutchinson comeback of the year at plus 270.

• 1:28:14Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:28:15Bill Simmons?

  Let's take that right off the board, cause I didn't see that was available.

• 1:28:18Speaker 02

  You don't like Rogers?

• 1:28:20Bill Simmons?

  No. I do not. And then, uh, ooh.

• 1:28:27Bill Simmons?

  Oh, the assistant coach of the year, a lot of good, a lot of good choices.

• 1:28:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:33Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  Take Matt Patricia, I know he's a college guy.

• 1:28:37Bill Simmons?

  I'm not, I'm not ready to do that yet. Um.

• 1:28:43Bill Simmons?

  I'll do this here. Green Bay over nine and a half wins. Chicago over eight and a half wins. Plus 370.

• 1:28:54Bill Simmons?

  I think that hits. Feeling good about that.

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  You need them to split, right?

• 1:28:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:59Speaker 02

  Okay, that's a good one.

• 1:29:01Speaker 02

  All right, we mentioned this, we were talking about this at Hercules. Hertz to have the most rushing touchdowns, plus 800. It's ridiculous.

• 1:29:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he doesn't say.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  They didn't change that rule for Neanderthals. I don't know why that tush push is there. His 42 rushing touchdowns in three years. He's always around 15.

• 1:29:20Speaker 02

  Cook had more than him last year. Gibbs and Henry, they only had one more, I think. I like Hertz, plus 800.

• 1:29:26Bill Simmons?

  I'm trying to think who beats this.

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  Out of those guy or?

• 1:29:30Bill Simmons?

  No, just in general, who?

• 1:29:31Speaker 02

  I mean, Barkley's right behind him. If they want to make an example of it.

• 1:29:36Bill Simmons?

  Trevion Anderson? What's your other one?

• 1:29:40Speaker 02

  Mike Evans. A thousand plus yards, minus 130.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  11 in a row, right? Every year he's played, he's had a thousand yards.

• 1:29:49Bill Simmons?

  That's a great bet. Minus 130?

• 1:29:50Speaker 02

  Minus 130. Week 18, home against the Panthers. What number would you be comfortable at? For him? I mean, you saw last year what they did. They stacked it up, they just threw to him every down. They were winning and they threw to him.

• 1:30:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so he'd be like at 840 yards? And they're just going for it?

• 1:30:05Speaker 02

  I wrote down 650. I think he can get 350 yards in that last game. All right, those are mine.

• 1:30:11Bill Simmons?

  That's really smart. Did you do an AFC's bet?

• 1:30:16Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 1:30:17Bill Simmons?

  All right, well, I'm gonna do it. I thought you did it. What'd you do at the top?

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  I did NFC South, NFC North.

• 1:30:25Bill Simmons?

  Buffalo, New England, Jets, Dolphins, exact order, plus 600.

• 1:30:32Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna step in on that.

• 1:30:33Speaker 02

  You love that.

• 1:30:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I just like the odds. Cause Buffalo, New England lock those down, then you're just arguing about the last.

• 1:30:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  That's pretty damn good.

• 1:30:42Bill Simmons?

  And then...

• 1:30:46Bill Simmons?

  Oh, this is a fun one. Nico Collins, most receiving yards, 10 to 1.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:30:53Bill Simmons?

  So that's basically...

• 1:30:57Bill Simmons?

  That's Chase missing like two games with calf tightness. Jefferson being J.J. McCarthy'd and then all of a sudden Nico Collins has the most.

• 1:31:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's everyone in the league missing two games.

• 1:31:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's good. All right, I'm gonna go Baker passing touchdowns plus 900.

• 1:31:12Bill Simmons?

  Ooh.

• 1:31:13Speaker 02

  Most passing touchdowns, 41 last year. No sign of slowing down. Plus 900.

• 1:31:19Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:31:20Speaker 02

  And I'm gonna go.

• 1:31:23Speaker 02

  Love 30 or more touchdowns, plus 190.

• 1:31:26Bill Simmons?

  Ooh.

• 1:31:27Speaker 02

  We both love love. There we go.

• 1:31:30Bill Simmons?

  Plus 190.

• 1:31:33Bill Simmons?

  All right, I'm gonna do Trey Van Henderson for offensive rookie of the year, 16 to 1.

• 1:31:38Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:31:39Bill Simmons?

  The case is, if you look at Jameer Gibbs' stats as a rookie for Detroit, and he was ended up with like almost 1,000 rushing yards and like 500 receiving yards or something like that. I actually think Henderson can do better than that.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 1:31:52Bill Simmons?

  So it's him versus like Buca versus, uh, who's the other receiver, Golden?

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  Golden.

• 1:31:57Bill Simmons?

  Versus Gentey.

• 1:31:58Speaker 02

  Few. Yep. Yeah, Gentey's.

• 1:31:59Bill Simmons?

  Gentey's probably, I mean, Gentey's the safest pick, but.

• 1:32:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:04Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, I'm gonna take this right off the board. Dak Prescott, 4,000 yards, plus 105.

• 1:32:10Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 1:32:11Bill Simmons?

  Suck on that.

• 1:32:13Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:32:14Bill Simmons?

  How do you not take that?

• 1:32:15Speaker 02

  I have another Dak one. I mean, it's a little bit of a swing.

• 1:32:18Bill Simmons?

  Hold on, the Fogo de Chow waiter just came over. You guys doing good?

• 1:32:21Speaker 02

  We're good.

• 1:32:22Bill Simmons?

  We're fine.

• 1:32:22Speaker 02

  Can't bring it. Keep bringing it.

• 1:32:23Bill Simmons?

  Keep bringing the steak.

• 1:32:24Speaker 02

  Wait, so Prescott, 4,000 plus?

• 1:32:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, plus 105.

• 1:32:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:32:29Bill Simmons?

  Basically, he would have to get hurt not to get that. I don't, especially because you don't have any running backs.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:32:35Bill Simmons?

  He's gonna be throwing the ball like 40 times a game.

• 1:32:38Speaker 02

  Yep. Now, I'm not gonna argue. Um, how about Prescott most, most passing yards? He had 4,500. He's one year removed from 4,500. That's plus 900.

• 1:32:50Bill Simmons?

  You're taking that?

• 1:32:51Speaker 02

  Yep, I know you have, uh, Burrow there. Um, and I'll take.

• 1:32:58Speaker 02

  How about this? Travis Kelsey under 4 and 1/2 touchdowns.

• 1:33:02Speaker 02

  He had three last year. He's, you know, he's gonna be worried about friggin' flowers and seating charts and who's gonna be fighting with who.

• 1:33:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:10Speaker 02

  You know, which in-laws hate each other? He's gonna need counseling for all this. He's not going from three to five, even if the 35-year-old remains healthy. Plus 112, under 4 and 1/2.

• 1:33:22Bill Simmons?

  I have.

• 1:33:26Bill Simmons?

  Oh, this is a good one.

• 1:33:34Bill Simmons?

  Let's do three or more NFC North playoff teams plus 330.

• 1:33:39Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:33:42Bill Simmons?

  You like that one?

• 1:33:43Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33:45Bill Simmons?

  Basically, one from the NFC East, one from the NFC South, two from the NFC West. And I'm home free. And then here's the other one. I mentioned this when we did part two with the NFC.

• 1:34:01Bill Simmons?

  Michael Pennix.

• 1:34:04Bill Simmons?

  Led the, led college football in interceptions, or at least his conference, had 11.

• 1:34:10Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:34:11Bill Simmons?

  He's gonna be chucking the ball, slinging it around. I have him for most interceptions, 14 to 1.

• 1:34:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:34:16Bill Simmons?

  I think I would have taken that at 8 to 1.

• 1:34:19Speaker 02

  So isn't this one where there's no other option? You want to take if there's no other option, right? Because you need this guy to play to have the most interceptions.

• 1:34:27Bill Simmons?

  Well, that was the other thing I was thinking. I wanted to take a younger QB that might, I mean, he had four season ending injuries in college. So maybe not the best guy for that, but I thought 14 to 1, Margaret.

• 1:34:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:34:38Bill Simmons?

  What do you got?

• 1:34:39Speaker 02

  Chiefs touchdown every game.

• 1:34:41Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:34:41Speaker 02

  Plus 110. Last four years, 75 and 2. Only 2 out of 77 games didn't they not score a touchdown. One was two years ago against Denver. They had three field goals. One was last year, week 18. That's the one that's sticky. They lost 38-0. I think it's as close as even money lock as you can get.

• 1:35:01Bill Simmons?

  So what are the odds?

• 1:35:03Speaker 02

  Plus 110.

• 1:35:04Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:35:05Speaker 02

  And then I get another one.

• 1:35:06Bill Simmons?

  Yep.

• 1:35:07Speaker 02

  Detroit, to make the divisional round, to make it to at least the divisional round, plus 130. So they can get a bye like they did last year, and then you automatically win. Or they can win 10 games like I have them, and then they have a home game, probably against an inferior team. That's what I have. I don't think they're in a ton of danger of missing the playoffs. That's why I pick plus 130. All right, long shot.

• 1:35:31Bill Simmons?

  Denver and Green Bay make it to championship weekend. The final four, 33 to one. Just make the final four.

• 1:35:41Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:35:42Bill Simmons?

  Good to go. And then, uh, I'm going to bet.

• 1:35:49Bill Simmons?

  Where's the other one I had? Oh, man. Am I starting to run out of it?

• 1:35:52Speaker 02

  That's all right.

• 1:35:53Bill Simmons?

  No, I don't want to run out of it.

• 1:35:59Bill Simmons?

  A Philly, Green Bay,

• 1:36:02Bill Simmons?

  NFC title game.

• 1:36:06Bill Simmons?

  What do you think the odds are for that?

• 1:36:09Speaker 02

  12?

• 1:36:10Bill Simmons?

  20 to one.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:36:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:11Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good. I didn't look at those. I should have looked at some of those. Those are run, we call those, uh, runway bets? When you're leaving a Fanduel state, you know, I gotta get 40 bucks on these, all these matchups.

• 1:36:23Bill Simmons?

  Fanduel should do ads for one-way bets when the, when the flight attendant's like, sir, sir, can you please? Can you please put your phone away? They're like, hold on, I got two more minutes.

• 1:36:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's gonna be a-

• 1:36:31Bill Simmons?

  Just finishing this parlay.

• 1:36:32Speaker 02

  A huge brawl, six rows from here, that you're gonna have to tend to in a few minutes, but.

• 1:36:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I, so you were convinced Fanduel was paying off pilots to stay on the runway for six extra minutes?

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:42Bill Simmons?

  In states where gambling is legal.

• 1:36:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they were in cahoots with, uh, what's the, uh, Spirit Air. That's the only thing that kept them going.

• 1:36:49Bill Simmons?

  Smart. I think it's smart.

• 1:36:51Speaker 02

  Okay, um, I'm gonna go Darnold most interceptions, plus 1100.

• 1:36:56Bill Simmons?

  I looked at it.

• 1:36:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:58Bill Simmons?

  I liked it.

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  12. He's had as many as 15. It's right there. Uh, Jonathan Gannon, Coach of the Year.

• 1:37:05Bill Simmons?

  Tapout was coming.

• 1:37:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:37:07Bill Simmons?

  Gannon?

• 1:37:07Speaker 02

  Gannon, Coach of the Year, plus 1400. Do or die year for him. Um, I think it's his award. If he could take them from under 500 to the vision title, but, uh,

• 1:37:18Bill Simmons?

  Interesting.

• 1:37:19Speaker 02

  There you go. There's my two.

• 1:37:21Bill Simmons?

  I have, uh, I'm gonna bet on a couple of young QBs here.

• 1:37:27Bill Simmons?

  Tennessee over five and a half wins, New England over seven and a half wins, plus 185.

• 1:37:35Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:37:37Bill Simmons?

  And then I'm gonna do

• 1:37:40Bill Simmons?

  the one, the only Brock Purdy, 4,000 yards.

• 1:37:44Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:37:45Bill Simmons?

  Plus 105.

• 1:37:47Speaker 02

  That's good. I had a Purdy one too.

• 1:37:49Bill Simmons?

  Guy slings it.

• 1:37:50Speaker 02

  Yep. Plus 105?

• 1:37:52Bill Simmons?

  Yep.

• 1:37:54Speaker 02

  Purdy, 4K. Plus 105. Okay. All right. I will go. All right, this is the Giants fan, Meathead fan special.

• 1:38:07Speaker 02

  Meathead Giant Fan Long Shot Future Play.

• 1:38:10Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:38:11Speaker 02

  Cam Scatabo.

• 1:38:12Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:38:13Speaker 02

  To record one or more receiving touchdown, one or more rushing touchdown, and one or more passing touchdown in the regular season. 29 to 1. Could you see it?

• 1:38:24Bill Simmons?

  So TD Triple Crown?

• 1:38:25Speaker 02

  Yep. Pass, rush.

• 1:38:28Bill Simmons?

  29 to 1.

• 1:38:29Speaker 02

  29. And couldn't you see it like, yeah, did you see Jerry's face when Week 18 in a meaningless game, he threw a 15-yard, that's fucking great. Who cares, we're 2 and 16, whatever.

• 1:38:39Bill Simmons?

  Did Scatabo, did he, uh, did he throw passes in college? Like, is there some, were you studying YouTube clips of him?

• 1:38:46Speaker 02

  He had a rolling, uh, play where, uh, I don't think it worked from what I saw, but

• 1:38:52Speaker 02

  29 to 1.

• 1:38:54Bill Simmons?

  What's your other one?

• 1:38:55Speaker 02

  Wasn't that two? That wasn't it?

• 1:38:57Bill Simmons?

  You did Scatabo, TD Triple Crown, 29 to 1.

• 1:38:59Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:39:00Bill Simmons?

  You tapping out?

• 1:39:02Speaker 02

  Matthew Golden over 700 and a half, that's fine. Minus 110.

• 1:39:06Bill Simmons?

  Matthew Golden over 7?

• 1:39:09Speaker 02

  700.5.

• 1:39:11Bill Simmons?

  700? Oh, man.

• 1:39:14Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one. Plus 110.

• 1:39:16Speaker 02

  We can end this, whatever you want to do.

• 1:39:18Bill Simmons?

  No, cuz I'm gonna take Abdul Carter for Defensive Player of the Year.

• 1:39:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:22Bill Simmons?

  At plus 185. That's a layup. How is that not a minus odds at this point?

• 1:39:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:39:29Bill Simmons?

  And, uh,

• 1:39:32Bill Simmons?

  I need to get in on this Coach of the Year.

• 1:39:40Speaker 02

  Do it. It's fun.

• 1:39:43Bill Simmons?

  I mean, Vrabel at plus 750 staring at me.

• 1:39:47Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:39:47Bill Simmons?

  No, you know what?

• 1:39:48Speaker 02

  They probably gave it to him already.

• 1:39:49Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do the assistant coach of the year.

• 1:39:54Bill Simmons?

  Let's take a flyer.

• 1:39:57Bill Simmons?

  Clint Kubiak.

• 1:39:58Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:39:59Bill Simmons?

  16 to 1.

• 1:40:02Bill Simmons?

  For offensive or for coordinator of the year. He's the offensive coordinator for the Seattle Seahawks.

• 1:40:09Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be so pissed if that's what beats me.

• 1:40:11Bill Simmons?

  It's like just people talking about his zone blocking and how how he gave Darnold comfort.

• 1:40:17Speaker 02

  Shit, that's gonna win, isn't it?

• 1:40:18Bill Simmons?

  16 to 1.

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  Cam Scatabo better be passing.

• 1:40:22Bill Simmons?

  All right, you got two.

• 1:40:22Speaker 02

  All right, I have two.

• 1:40:27Speaker 02

  Hutchinson over 12.75 sacks.

• 1:40:30Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  12.75.

• 1:40:32Bill Simmons?

  Why is it 12.75?

• 1:40:33Speaker 02

  Because a half is an actual measurement in the sacks.

• 1:40:35Bill Simmons?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  You could get, you could find 12.73. I don't want to veer anyone off of Fandel. You could find 12.725, no, 7 and 1/2 and 5, 19 in his last 22 games. It's J.J. McCarthy, Caleb Williams, who takes a lot of sacks, Flacco, Russ, Stafford the statue, Rodgers, if he's still standing in December. I like this.

• 1:40:56Bill Simmons?

  So what are the ads?

• 1:40:57Speaker 02

  Minus 112.

• 1:40:58Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:40:58Speaker 02

  He can get to 15, though.

• 1:40:59Bill Simmons?

  What's your other one?

• 1:41:01Speaker 02

  My other one.

• 1:41:05Speaker 02

  Panthers in third place in the NFC South, plus 185.

• 1:41:10Bill Simmons?

  Ooh.

• 1:41:10Speaker 02

  Incoming second, but they can't come in first or fourth.

• 1:41:14Bill Simmons?

  Panthers in third place.

• 1:41:18Bill Simmons?

  Plus 185. I have to look.

• 1:41:20Speaker 02

  You don't trust me?

• 1:41:21Bill Simmons?

  I'm not tapping up. No, I'm not tapping up.

• 1:41:23Speaker 02

  Looks like you did.

• 1:41:26Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do Buffalo for the one seed.

• 1:41:31Bill Simmons?

  And that's plus 250.

• 1:41:35Bill Simmons?

  And then I had.

• 1:41:39Bill Simmons?

  Where's the other one?

• 1:41:42Bill Simmons?

  Miami, under 5 and 1/2 wins, plus 260.

• 1:41:47Speaker 02

  Wait a minute. Is that real?

• 1:41:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:50Speaker 02

  What's their regular one, 7 and 1/2?

• 1:41:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:52Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. That's pretty good. That could happen.

• 1:41:57Bill Simmons?

  What do you got?

• 1:41:58Speaker 02

  Um. I'll do Bills-Bucks, Super Bowl, plus 5,000.

• 1:42:05Bill Simmons?

  Plus 5,000?

• 1:42:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I'll do.

• 1:42:09Bill Simmons?

  Bucks.

• 1:42:13Speaker 02

  I'll do, uh.

• 1:42:14Bill Simmons?

  50 to 1?

• 1:42:15Speaker 02

  I'll do Bills-Super Bowl, plus 750.

• 1:42:18Bill Simmons?

  Ooh.

• 1:42:18Speaker 02

  Is their year. The Tommy Fleetwood Bills.

• 1:42:21Bill Simmons?

  You took that from me.

• 1:42:22Speaker 02

  The Kieran Culkin Bills. And Sabrina Carpenter, who else won first, first thing this year?

• 1:42:28Bill Simmons?

  I have, uh.

• 1:42:31Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna double up on, on Buffalo-Denver title game. In the AFC, 23 to 1.

• 1:42:38Speaker 02

  Oh, that's very good.

• 1:42:41Bill Simmons?

  I would need Denver to win the division for that one to hit.

• 1:42:47Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh.

• 1:42:50Bill Simmons?

  Where's the other one I had?

• 1:42:55Bill Simmons?

  What was, was there one, I thought we had one. Oh, there it is.

• 1:42:58Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna help you, huh?

• 1:43:02Bill Simmons?

  The.

• 1:43:04Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I don't know if I wanna do that.

• 1:43:05Speaker 02

  You're dumb, we don't have to find a new round, that's fine.

• 1:43:07Bill Simmons?

  I don't wanna do that one. I'm gonna do New Orleans and Cleveland, both finish in 4th place.

• 1:43:13Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 1:43:13Bill Simmons?

  Plus 158.

• 1:43:15Speaker 02

  Well, you don't have that already?

• 1:43:17Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:43:17Speaker 02

  You have every combination of it.

• 1:43:18Bill Simmons?

  Alright. Doubling up on it.

• 1:43:22Bill Simmons?

  What do you got?

• 1:43:23Speaker 02

  Alright, uh, Cardinals-division, plus 380.

• 1:43:27Bill Simmons?

  Ooh.

• 1:43:29Speaker 02

  It's a long shot. And.

• 1:43:32Bill Simmons?

  Plus 380, I like it.

• 1:43:37Speaker 02

  Uh, let's see. All right, I'm, I'm doing something stupid. I know I said a lot of

• 1:43:43Speaker 02

  bad shit about Kyle Pitts, but what if this is the year?

• 1:43:48Speaker 02

  Seven fifty yards or more?

• 1:43:52Speaker 02

  Plus three eighty.

• 1:43:53Bill Simmons?

  Seven fifty yards, plus three eighty?

• 1:43:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:43:57Bill Simmons?

  How did you even find that?

• 1:43:58Speaker 02

  Well, five twenty five says regular over on there.

• 1:44:02Bill Simmons?

  Okay. I need to find.

• 1:44:07Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:44:09Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:44:12Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do San Fran misses the playoffs.

• 1:44:16Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:44:17Bill Simmons?

  Plus one sixty.

• 1:44:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:44:24Bill Simmons?

  And I'm gonna do

• 1:44:27Bill Simmons?

  Seattle division plus five hundred.

• 1:44:31Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:44:31Bill Simmons?

  Double up.

• 1:44:33Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:44:33Bill Simmons?

  On those two beauties.

• 1:44:35Speaker 02

  Uh, we talked about this the first podcast. Uh, Chargers lose in the wild card round plus two ninety. I don't even have them to make the playoffs, but this seems like everybody should have this every year. We just get it out of the way.

• 1:44:46Bill Simmons?

  What are the ads?

• 1:44:47Speaker 02

  Plus two ninety. They're either gonna lose a shaky game or they'll be hosting essentially a road game.

• 1:44:53Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:44:54Speaker 02

  Uh, oh, and then I get another one. Um.

• 1:44:55Bill Simmons?

  Yep.

• 1:44:59Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go Adams under twen- nine twenty five and a half, minus one ten.

• 1:45:03Bill Simmons?

  Under?

• 1:45:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't trust Stafford being around for a lot of that.

• 1:45:10Bill Simmons?

  Under ten twenty five and a half?

• 1:45:12Speaker 02

  Nine twenty five.

• 1:45:13Bill Simmons?

  Nine twenty five and a half. Odds were what?

• 1:45:17Speaker 02

  Minus one ten.

• 1:45:18Bill Simmons?

  Minus one ten. Okay.

• 1:45:22Bill Simmons?

  Um.

• 1:45:24Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do Houston win the division at plus one ten.

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:45:34Bill Simmons?

  And then I'm going to do.

• 1:45:41Bill Simmons?

  I'm running out now.

• 1:45:43Speaker 02

  There's no shame.

• 1:45:44Bill Simmons?

  Could be a tap out soon.

• 1:45:47Speaker 02

  No shame.

• 1:45:48Bill Simmons?

  I'll do variable coach of the year plus 750.

• 1:45:53Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:45:58Speaker 02

  See if I'm excited about any of these others.

• 1:46:01Bill Simmons?

  Tapping out?

• 1:46:01Speaker 02

  Bills beat the Dolphins home and on the road minus 135. It's definitely.

• 1:46:06Bill Simmons?

  Bills Dolphins sweep?

• 1:46:09Speaker 02

  Bills sweep the Dolphins.

• 1:46:11Bill Simmons?

  That's plus odds?

• 1:46:12Speaker 02

  No, no, minus 135. Seems like something you could do individual weeks, but I'm gonna parlay it together. September 18th and then.

• 1:46:19Bill Simmons?

  That's wonderful.

• 1:46:19Speaker 02

  November 9th. Yeah, do that.

• 1:46:21Bill Simmons?

  I like that one.

• 1:46:22Speaker 02

  And I'll go Connor under 875 and a half rushing.

• 1:46:28Bill Simmons?

  Why under? What thing you like about him?

• 1:46:30Speaker 02

  I got a little secret. It's gonna make me look like an asshole, but if you take all the running backs under, there's like six who are out for the year by week six or seven, you know?

• 1:46:40Bill Simmons?

  It is true.

• 1:46:40Speaker 02

  Kind of split there, but I don't, I don't like that. Not bad. He's gonna be 32.

• 1:46:46Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do Indy under five and a half wins.

• 1:46:53Bill Simmons?

  That is plus 250.

• 1:46:57Bill Simmons?

  You like that one?

• 1:46:57Speaker 02

  Nice. Yep. Sure.

• 1:46:59Bill Simmons?

  Plus 250. And then I'm going to do.

• 1:47:07Bill Simmons?

  What was the other one I had?

• 1:47:10Bill Simmons?

  Oh, I'm not, I don't have the balls to do that.

• 1:47:14Bill Simmons?

  I'm starting to run out now. Let's do.

• 1:47:22Speaker 02

  Should we blow a horn to like wake the audience up or something?

• 1:47:24Bill Simmons?

  Chargers, no playoffs even.

• 1:47:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's pretty good.

• 1:47:32Bill Simmons?

  Want to do two more?

• 1:47:33Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:47:34Bill Simmons?

  All right.

• 1:47:37Bill Simmons?

  Or I get one, I went first, so you get two more, I get one more.

• 1:47:42Speaker 02

  Uh, all right. Sorry.

• 1:47:51Speaker 02

  Fields, six plus rushing touchdowns, plus 115.

• 1:47:54Bill Simmons?

  Hmm.

• 1:47:55Speaker 02

  Said eight, four and five the last three years. Hit five in 10 games last year. Already has one in preseason.

• 1:48:02Bill Simmons?

  And what were the odds again?

• 1:48:03Speaker 02

  Plus 115.

• 1:48:05Bill Simmons?

  I like it.

• 1:48:06Speaker 02

  And then cup under five and a half touchdowns. That's

• 1:48:10Bill Simmons?

  Under.

• 1:48:10Speaker 02

  That's minus 154. It's a big vig, but come on. There's gotta be some decline a little bit there. Don't see a lot of scoring. Missed 18 games in three years.

• 1:48:21Bill Simmons?

  Minus 110.

• 1:48:23Speaker 02

  So you have one more pick?

• 1:48:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:26Speaker 02

  Don't fuck this up.

• 1:48:28Bill Simmons?

  I'm gonna do Buffalo over Green Bay in the Super Bowl. And I have no idea what the odds are.

• 1:48:36Speaker 02

  I don't know if they have over, or they might just have.

• 1:48:38Bill Simmons?

  So Buffalo, Green Bay, Super Bowl?

• 1:48:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, they will.

• 1:48:42Bill Simmons?

  Which is, what's Buffalo, Green Bay, Super Bowl?

• 1:48:46Speaker 02

  Uh, let me find it.

• 1:48:46Bill Simmons?

  Cause that's my actual pick, so I should probably have money on that.

• 1:48:49Speaker 02

  Forty to one that they meet up.

• 1:48:51Bill Simmons?

  Forty to one. That's my last pick.

• 1:48:55Bill Simmons?

  All right, we're tapping out, tapping out of the Fogarty Chow draft.

• 1:48:57Speaker 02

  Thank you, Mr. Waiter.

• 1:48:58Bill Simmons?

  I don't feel like we had enough player props, but I think the problem with player props is that guys get hurt and you get screwed.

• 1:49:03Speaker 02

  You mean just like over unders?

• 1:49:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, just those over unders. I never know who to trust. I like the quarterback throwing ones, but remember last year I had Trevor Lawrence, Caleb Williams, and somebody else will throw for 4,000 yards each.

• 1:49:14Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:49:15Bill Simmons?

  Didn't happen.

• 1:49:15Speaker 02

  It's more fun. It's more fun to take the big odds, guys.

• 1:49:18Bill Simmons?

  All right, cuz, great job.

• 1:49:19Speaker 02

  Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:49:21Bill Simmons?

  All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal, thanks to Gahow and Eduardo and Sir Rudy as well. I will be back on this podcast, possibly with a two parter on Tuesday with a big guest too. So stay tuned for that. And then, uh, don't forget about the rewatch of what's coming Monday night. Movie 400, American Gangster. Don't forget about all of our awesome football content. Don't forget about the Ranger Gambling Show, live every day, noon ET, on the Ranger Gambling YouTube channel. And I will see you on Tuesday.

• 1:50:06Bill Simmons?

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• 1:50:51Bill Simmons?

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• 1:51:36Bill Simmons?

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