#578 - Who Does This Guy Think He Is?

Quick, name an author! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome back to the ba-

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Nah, welcome back to the basement.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Seriously?

• 0:11Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  Normally, people yell at me for doing the over-the-top audio break.

• 0:16Speaker 00

  I'm in character. I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm dressed as a pirate. I got my Chris Daughtry bracelets on.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, man, you are fully "It's Not Over" right now.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  It's not over!

• 0:27Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm not kidding.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  That was pretty good.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Minus the eye patch, you're just Chris Daughtry. Just like, take the eye patch, just flip it up. Chris Daughtry, pirate.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  That's all, that's all it is. I mean, some of the-

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Whoa, Chris Daughtry is an animal, dude!

• 0:44Speaker 01

  No, fuck the animal. No way he has those tattoos, dude.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Bro, he does. He has the blackout tattoos.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Why?

• 0:51Speaker 00

  I mean, it looks sick on him, honestly. He looks like a fucking vampire. This one feels more piraty.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm, listen, no disrespect to Chris Daughtry, now that I've seen that he's shredded.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Bro, he'll beat the fucking brakes off your ass.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  I know. Before I saw that, he was catching it, so thank you for pulling up the picture first.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Bro, look at this guy. How old is this fucker?

• 1:07Speaker 01

  He's gotta be in his late 40s, at, at least.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  I mean, you just saw images.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  Forty-six, and he looks like that?

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Fuck you, Chris Daughtry.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  You have, you're a platinum-selling artist, right? He's probably that successful, right? Look up his net worth, so I can feel better that I know Joey.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Look up Chris Daughtry's net worth. Look it up, look it up. Eight million dollars, Chris Daughtry!

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Now, Chris Daughtry should be dressing up as Joe Santagato.

• 1:36Speaker 00

  First of all, I'm a pirate. I'm not Chris Daughtry.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Again, you are, you are just a single eye patch away.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  What's another Chris Daughtry song? He's got bangers, bro.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  He's got a lot of them, top 15-

• 1:46Speaker 00

  "Over You," man. I know "Over You."

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Which one is "Over You"? Does it also sound like, um, "It's Not Over"?

• 1:51Speaker 00

  It's not, it's different, but I was just listening to the song the other day, and I'm like, "This is such a banger." Not over you.

• 1:56Speaker 01

  Is that it?

• 1:57Speaker 00

  No. Wait, which one you want? "Over You."

• 1:59Speaker 01

  Look up, look up a list of the Chris Daughtry songs, Mike.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  No, "It's Not Over" is, "It's not over." Well, I never started, bro, I should, I never saw it coming, I should've started running a long, long time-

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Never saw it coming, I should've started running a long, long time ago. Damn, this, this is-

• 2:16Speaker 00

  Don't let no one out too, more than you, more than you know. Yeah, that one's the best one. Yeah, that's a banger, bro.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 2:23Speaker 00

  He's got one called "Life After You." I love that song.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  I mean, I, I, you could sing all of them, and it could sound like one song, because all the Chris Daughtry songs I've heard of sound like they are the same song.

• 2:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it's the banger.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  And, again, no disrespect, now that I've seen that he is abs, but, I just-

• 2:39Speaker 00

  So you're saying if he wasn't abbed up, then you would, like, be more disrespectful?

• 2:42Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, dude. A hundred percent.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Your respect is based on-

• 2:46Speaker 01

  If they could fuck me up.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  Right.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Yes. A hundred percent.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  That's crazy.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  One million percent.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  And like, I understand, like, you need to be careful, because like, we've seen, like, I, not that I've ever been or would be disrespectful to Rhett and Link, but like, not only do I believe they're both shredded, they're also both six foot fifty.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, if I wanna slap Rhett in the face, I gotta get on a chair.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, yeah. And also, you need to, you need to work your way through the beautiful beard and mane that he has on his head to find, and you wouldn't want to, because he's a, you know, he's got a sweet eyes.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  They're both very sweet guys.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  They, they have very, I think this is why they've been lasting so long on the internet. They have very, like, normal people eyes. Like, you look in their eyes, and you're like, "I feel like that's a normal person," and not like an internet robot.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  Whose eyes do you look into, and you're like, "This is..."

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Mr. Beast.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  That's a fair answer, yeah. Careful.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Uh-oh, careful.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  Careful about what? Mr. Beast, I don't know, come at ya.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Can he fuck me up? Look up the tail of the tape on Mr. Beast.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  No. Mr. Beast is tall, though.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Is he? Alright, I'm not gonna be disrespectful to Mr. Beast until I see his height.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Six-three.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  I, I respect Mr. Beast.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  I respect Jimmy so much, and he is a, and he is a only-

• 4:03Speaker 00

  Now, bro, be disrespectful, and then challenge him to a boxing match, now we're gonna make some money off this thing.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:07Speaker 00

  I'll promote it.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  I'll, uh-

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're up.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  No! Uh, I don't know, I mean, he's hanging out with, like, LeBron and-

• 4:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, what's he gonna do?

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Two other people that could definitely beat the brakes off me, and Logan Paul and KSI, so-

• 4:21Speaker 00

  I mean, what is he, what is he gonna do? He's not gonna, like, he's not gonna jump you with all these people.

• 4:24Speaker 01

  He's gonna beat me, and be like, "For every punch I land, and every bone I break, I'm donating a million dollars to, like, a children's fund or something."

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Well, he better get that checkbook out, because I'm also suing him for double each punch.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. Especially if I get jumped by Mr. Beast, KSI, and Logan Paul, bro, I'm dying to be jumped by you three.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 00

  I'm begging to be jumped. Please jump me.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  I don't know, because like-

• 4:45Speaker 00

  I'm taking Logan Paul's fucking Pokemon cards?

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  And the rhinoceros head, or whatever.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  I mean, I'll be, I'll be, first of all, I'll be writing books with James Patterson, and I'll be a co-owner of Feastables by the time I'm done with that lawsuit.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  Which, by the way-

• 4:58Speaker 00

  Cut me in.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  We also haven't acknowledged the, the, the, the elephant in the room. You're a pirate, AKA, or almost Chris Daughtry. I'm, I'm just a hot dog with mustard, which is the scariest thing I could possibly be for Halloween, because-

• 5:13Speaker 00

  You also are matching the hot dog.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Completely by mistake.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  That's insane.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Completely by accident, the sweater and the hat and everything.

• 5:21Speaker 00

  Let me ask you a question. You see the color of that hot dog, right?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  She's dark.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  I've never had a hot dog that color.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  I feel like it would be like, it looks like it would be like organic.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I'd be so into it, dude.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  It looks like it would be snappy. If, like, if I went to go bite your head off right now, I'd be snapped.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  This, like, a, a, a hot dog that color is going to be like at Applegate Farms, like a healthier packaged-

• 5:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  -hot dog, where it's just like, "Hey, you're still a hot dog," you know, "You're a hot dog with mascara on."

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  We just, we just, just be a hot dog, babe.

• 5:51Speaker 00

  What'd you say, Apple who?

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Is that what it's called, Applegate Farms?

• 5:54Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Or, Apple, there's like a healthy, like, in Whole Foods, they have like healthier hot dogs, but they're just, they're hot dogs.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Do you go to Whole Foods?

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Uh, every now and then, because if our grocery shopping was done, like, exclusively at Whole Foods, I would need to mortgage my house a second time. There's no fucking way. I love that place, and they have good quality stuff, it's pricey.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  I, I don't, I don't do it. I don't really go.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  I think they have good stuff, like, I've never had, like, I've never had anything from them, and just be like, "That sucked."

• 6:27Speaker 00

  I mean, I, sometime, I've been like twice in my life to a, to a Whole Foods.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  I love a supermarket. I-

• 6:34Speaker 00

  Do ya?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Love a supermarket.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  I don't.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  I just, I, I also just like a regular market.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  I'm not good at, at grocery shopping, 'cause like, like, Nicole has taken that over, because, uh, you know, just not-

• 6:46Speaker 01

  You know.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  I'm just not good, because I can't put meals together in my head.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  Like, my whole brain, like, that part of my brain, is for video. Like, I can, like, edit a video as we're shooting it, but I can't go to the grocery store and understand what, what we're, like, the food or whatever. When I would go grocery shopping, I would just come back with snacks.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Cause I'm, I'm wise.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  You are, you are a snacker.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  I am a snacker.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  You are very, like, you're motivated by, like, eating a little here, eating a little there, eating a little here, like, I, I feel like if you still lived alone, you would just eat out most of the time?

• 7:22Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Or-

• 7:23Speaker 00

  I would eat pasta.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, just have, like, your raw nu, raw garbanzo bean noodles.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  That sounds fantastic. Those are, those are okay. Yeah, you know what's fucking crazy? A butter bean. I fucking love a butter bean.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, when butter-

• 7:36Speaker 00

  Underrated bean.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Uh, they've only, they'll, I think the only time I've had them is when they've come with octopus on top, and there's just so much sauce everywhere.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Bro, there was a fucking bar near me that used to do this, uh, dish, where it was like,

• 7:53Speaker 00

  I think it was a lamb. It was like a lamb something.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  A bar making lamb?

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Not, they had like a legitimate, like, kitchen in this place, like, it was like a low-key place. I was so pissed when it shut down.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  So then, call it a-

• 8:05Speaker 00

  Bar and grill. But when you walk in, you're like, "This is a bar."

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  But there was like a few tables, but their kitchen was mad good, but they would have butter beans as the base, and then put like lamb on top, but I was fucking sucking down these fucking beans like crazy, they're delicious.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Really? Yeah.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  I love a big bean.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Big beans I'm fine with. I really like when they turn it into like, uh, kinda like a puree, and it goes under something.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Did you say a bush?

• 8:29Speaker 00

  A mush.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I, I guess I would-

• 8:31Speaker 00

  I don't want a bush!

• 8:32Speaker 01

  I wouldn't mind either, though.

• 8:33Speaker 00

  I'm gonna bush it up!

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Um-

• 8:35Speaker 00

  Not how you do that.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  I just, I had to, there was something caught in my throat. I did it this way. Shut up, he's screaming into the mic like he's going at it crazy. Um-

• 8:43Speaker 00

  The eye patch is riding up a little bit.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  I-

• 8:45Speaker 00

  I'll be honest with you, uh, uh, my, my sight is so weird right now, but-

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Um, I, I just, I love, I, now that I think about beans and grains, there's not many I don't like.

• 8:57Speaker 00

  There's gotta be a grain.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Yo, you know what's so fucking good, and Becca makes the fuck out of?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Talk to me.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  Pharaoh. Like, she makes like a Pharaoh salad, and cooks it a little al dente, so it's a little chewy.

• 9:08Speaker 00

  I'm thinking Pokemon right now, what are we talking about?

• 9:10Speaker 01

  You're talking Fero.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  I'm thinking, I'm thinking Egypt.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  You're thinking, so Pharaoh, F-A-R-O, I spelled that right? It's like, it almost looks like a fatter brown rice, and it's kind of a little gummier.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  And when cooked, she does like a Pharaoh salad with like, red onion, tomatoes, oil, vinegar, and feta, and dude, it'll, it'll, it'll, it'll grab your sister and say, "Bring me to the family reunion."

• 9:38Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 9:40Speaker 00

  Can we get a zoom in on the Pharaoh because?

• 9:42Speaker 01

  I'm not really sure what this is.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  What's the, what's the Greek shit? It's like a Greek.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Orzo?

• 9:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Orzo's just, Orzo's just pasta.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Is it? I thought that shit was rice.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  I think Orzo is just pasta. That's Pharaoh, baby.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Oh, you know what this looks like? Honey Smacks. Yo, Honey Smacks are good.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  It looks like, it looks like chopped up walnuts.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Nah, bro, it looks like Honey Smacks.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  I guess it does like Honey Smacks, although Honey Smacks sucks.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Honey Smacks is good, brother.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Um, but dude, I love a grocery store because I, we, we don't grocery shop often anymore. We, I'll tell you right now.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  The apps.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  I will tell you right now.

• 10:21Speaker 00

  It's a great event.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  If they were to start allowing people to transition like their, like what they pay into an app into like legitimate shareable equity, we would be part owner in Instacart.

• 10:32Speaker 00

  Majority stakeholders.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Oh my god. But I love going through and just snaking every aisle and just being like, oh, you know, we actually do need that.

• 10:42Speaker 00

  It is fun to pop into a supermarket every so often and be like, oh, there's new stuff.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I just like, I am very, I am the target customer at a supermarket where I'll be like, that's on the end cap? And it looks really nice?

• 10:57Speaker 00

  What's that word you used?

• 10:58Speaker 01

  End cap.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 10:59Speaker 01

  So like you go down an aisle and there are on the front of the aisle, there's like a display?

• 11:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  That's the end cap. That's supposed to be like the flashy sales, like that's like big space in the,

• 11:11Speaker 00

  The big mamas.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  In the, in the, you know, retail world.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  In the one we used to go to as children, they always had Entenmann's there. You remember at Wall Bounce?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Hmm, I don't.

• 11:21Speaker 00

  The one by, uh, what's it called?

• 11:22Speaker 01

  I know which one you're referencing.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  You would shop there, right?

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Best Yen, Wall Bounce, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  They used to have a fucking, just a giant Entenmann's and I'm like, yo.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  You put like that, that is like highly sought after space because not only do like people see it as they walk the main like, uh, not the main aisles, it's called the racetrack in a lot of stores. Um, but like,

• 11:43Speaker 00

  You go to supermarkets a lot, my god.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  I worked Target, dude.

• 11:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a supermarket.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  It's big box retail, which like I, I imagine there are some parallels between that and.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, like if, I mean, it makes sense. If you're walking, if something's hidden in the middle of the aisle or if it's at the front, like you see more of the front.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  No, I get it makes sense. Alright, Target guy, I get it.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Bro, walk to a, walk to a Target. There is a, an, a continuous road around the whole store.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  And, and like there will be branching paths and stuff like that, but like all of that shit is like highly researched and like fucking, they do their little like analytics thing to figure out what goes where.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  You, you worked, I know you did like the criminal justice thing and then you worked on like a team in Target. During that time, were any of you guys able to figure out why in big, big box retail, it makes people go into the bathrooms and shit on the ground? Because I don't know what the fuck it is. Every time you go into a Target and try to go to the bathroom, there's like a shit on the ground.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  I mean, a lot of.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Also, when I was in the airport, coming back from wherever the fuck we were, I walked into one of the stores, there was a poop on the floor in an airport.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  I used to be very critical of shit on the ground, but now I'm more.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  You get poop on the ground?

• 12:57Speaker 01

  I, I'm more like, I saw it. I was like, that person is having the worst day they've had.

• 13:01Speaker 00

  Well, yes.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  In a while.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Empathy.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Empathy.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  But how could you possibly miss?

• 13:06Speaker 01

  I don't think it's about missing, it's just about availability and urgency.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  But are you, but, but how's that not, like I get, I listen, I totally understand not making it and it, and it falls.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, you, you were kicking around one like you were Ronaldinho in 2006.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  It was one time, I was 14.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  I said cooking around one.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true. Um.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Well, what?

• 13:26Speaker 00

  I, I pooped my pants once and I was running home and then it like fell down my pants and then I ended up like kicking it because it landed on my shoe. I threw my shoes out. We're not talking about me.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  No, wait, what about the pants? Which probably had.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Oh, the pants, the pants, oh yeah, everything was garbage.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, everything was garbage.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Um, I will say it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It felt a lot worse than it was, besides the point.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I guess you had a more fibrous diet. There are people that are not as lucky as you, Joe.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  I mean, I was like 13 years old. I, well, I, you know, everything, it was like slushies and like fucking, you know, whatever.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Pooping yourself a log feels weirder.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Uh, it was, it wasn't a log. I don't mean to get into details here, but it was, you know, there was, there was a little, It was a, it was a wintery mix, as they say, in, in the meteorology, uh.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Like there was like, it was half sleet, half slush?

• 14:15Speaker 00

  It was slushy.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Really?

• 14:17Speaker 00

  It was slushy.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  So how did it get, how did you kick it? So like when you kicked it?

• 14:20Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Was it like when Robocop runs over that guy with a car and it exploded on the windshield?

• 14:26Speaker 00

  It more was going down my pant and then I was in the motion of running and it's like, it just, you know, naturally.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  So it's not like, it's not like you dropped.

• 14:36Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Something and then punted it like you were Todd Sauerbrunnen.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  No, no, I didn't even have time to do something like that.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  It just landed in a way that when I was running, it was launched and I was like, this is the most disgusting thing ever.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Man, so you were just a walking biohazard on the way home. I thought it was just a little more of like a clean, now I understand throwing out the pants and the shoes.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  I, and, well, the shoes that I also had on the side, it was like, they had these circle like indents, so it was kind of like.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  What shoes?

• 15:03Speaker 00

  I, I don't, I don't know. I had one pair of shoes back then.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  So you couldn't get it out? Clean?

• 15:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like looked at it, I was like, this is garbage.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Was it like that, like spongy material that we had? Yeah, I know, I know what you're referencing. Everyone had those.

• 15:15Speaker 00

  You know, it's just, you know, it was garbage and it was.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  That's, I mean, you know, garbage, it, when you kicked garbage, you threw them in the garbage. I, it was a garbage day for you, but that's the point that I'm making is like, you probably, when that happened, felt the lowest that you had felt at that point in time since you got broken up with by Jojo Dro.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  First of all, I, I did not get broken up with her. She never, she didn't like me and that made me cry.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  You got broken up by her.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  I did, but like, you know, you know what I mean? Like at that point in time, that was probably the worst day you had in a while. Yes, you might've gotten some, you might've gotten some mileage out of the fact that it happened, but like internally you hurt.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  I was hurt.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  And you were the sad clown.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was for sure. Also, I was very upset with Davino because it was his fault. He lived across the street and he's like, nah.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Easy person, easy person to blame.

• 16:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, like what the fuck, I'm right here.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Most of the bad things that happened in my life, I blame on him and I call him and I let him know that too.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  There was an, there was an era where we would find bags of dog poop on the ground and throw them at each other.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  So you're like a disgusting person, I think.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, honestly.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  Picking up a strange dog poop.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  The more that we talk about things and you contribute, it just solidifies that you're an absolute filth monster.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Also, I'm, I'm going to assume that there was liquor involved in some way because usually your stories end.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Or black coffee.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  No, we were younger. We were younger, so we just threw them at each other, but then one time a bag exploded on the person, uh, throwing it, so friendly fire. And then, uh.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  That's, just so we're clear, if that happens, that's just fire. It's not friendly fire.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  You guys have made each other enemies.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Like a self, self-fire and then, um, it got on him and it smelled bad and, uh, I gagged and I threw up. And then we stopped doing it.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Well, nothing new there. I mean.

• 16:52Speaker 00

  Now we've crossed the line, now the bag exploded.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  And then we stopped doing it, yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did not, I could say with confidence, we did not bag.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  We did not throw poop at each other.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Throw it at each other. Although there was some, one person that we knew, we've told the story a couple of times for any new listeners, which you gotta treat every episode, like there's at least one new listener. Um,

• 17:12Speaker 01

  there was a, a someone that we knew that were like, we would party at this one house and they pooped in a bag.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Tied it up, threw it across the room and we found it months later and it was white.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Months?

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Brother, brother, brother. Like before the term trap house existed, we knew what it was and it was that place.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Trap house been around for a while.

• 17:34Speaker 00

  I, I, we don't know. We, to be fair.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  That's okay.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Do we know, can we find the earliest use of the term trap house?

• 17:42Speaker 00

  What are you gonna do with that info?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Determine if we might've been the ones to have coined it.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  Oh, we, I mean, we definitely didn't coin anything.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I mean, we might not have coined it, but we might've been, we might've been like, we know trap houses before trap houses.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Earliest use, 1991, so.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Definitely not, yeah. What is a trap? Why is it a trap?

• 18:01Speaker 00

  Because, you know.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  Do they use it to like trap, like entrapment, like criminals or like statins and stuff like that?

• 18:08Speaker 00

  You don't, you, you, you don't get it.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  Fetty Wap over here. Take it easy, chief. First of all, you're cosplaying Fetty Wap right now. That is something that I don't know the word for, but it's offensive.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  I know, yeah. And honestly, he's out of jail and or prison now. He'll come get ya.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  And he's kinda yoked.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  And, yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  He is.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  So careful. I'm not gonna talk shit about him, cuz I haven't seen his height, which we might figure out if you Google it.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Also, from Jersey, if I'm not mistaken.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, he like-

• 18:36Speaker 00

  Fetty Wap height.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Six one.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  Six one.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Okay, I can say a bad thing, but I'm not gonna, because he'll fuck me up.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Um, he like recently did a show in Jersey, and they had to like shut down the town, because it was like crazy.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Fetty Wap?

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, baby! Seventeen thirty-eight.

• 18:54Speaker 00

  Not a good, not a good impression.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  You can't be dressed like Chris Daughtry and do a Fetty Wap impression.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  It's fair. I'm a pirate, fellas.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Are you a pirate?

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Not really.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  I am a hot dog. Uh, I feel like this, because of the Basement Yard live shows-

• 19:08Speaker 00

  We've seen a lot of the-

• 19:09Speaker 01

  This costume has probably gone triple platinum on Amazon. Which, I will say this.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  You can measure the success of the shows in many ways. If we wanna start pitching out the Basement Yard, uh, for like brand integration and stuff like that, we have helped push hot dog costumes.

• 19:29Speaker 00

  She's definitely had uptick in that.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  And definitely orange rotary phones.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  Well, yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Not only because of us, but definitely because of other people.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  We're buying one for every single show now.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're probably the only ones doing that.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  We're, me and Greg were like, we, when we were like going, like, oh, we should have the phone, or whatever, and then we're like finding links to phones, and I was like, there has to be multiple, cuz what if one of these just run out? Cuz then we're not gonna have them.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  True.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  And already, there's been-

• 19:55Speaker 02

  They're a little different.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  Different, yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, the last one, there was an actual-

• 19:58Speaker 00

  That was a good one.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  That was a good one. Bro, the first one we went to, it was such a fake phone, cuz it was like, it had the rotary wheel on it, but it was just buttons.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  The last one had the clicking and everything, and it was, I loved it.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  And it was one of these phones, where like it holds the phone up like this, and you kinda like-

• 20:14Speaker 01

  You like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not like it sits on the, the, whatever, that's the fucking wheel thing.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  That one had a button. That one had a button. The first one, the fake one, had a button, so it's like, this is fake. That one had like, when you put it down, it like shut off, because like the whole mechanism fell.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Have you ever used one of these?

• 20:32Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  I've never used one of those. I wanna fucking use one of those.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  You would've seen one at the Titanic Museum, when you were in Ireland.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  Maybe.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Cuz they love those, dude.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz you get on the horn, and you're just like-

• 20:43Speaker 01

  But here's the thing, let me-

• 20:43Speaker 00

  What'd I say, Mary?

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Let me ask you a question.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  If you're using one of those phones, and you get angry and you wanna hang up on someone, how do you do it? Do you hang up-

• 20:53Speaker 00

  Oh, cuz you hold something like this, and then it's this, right?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  I, I think there was the, the, the like at-home version was like a handheld thing at first.

• 21:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, you like hold this, and then, but there's another piece that like, is so you could hear them.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, so like, if you're, let's say Joey in nineteen twenty-two.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  And you have that phone.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  And someone calls you, and there's like, "The depression is starting. Dump your socks in barrels."

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  And you get angry, do you hang up the talky part, or the, the, the ear part?

• 21:23Speaker 00

  You know, I don't even know how those hang up. I don't even know how to answer.

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Look up those old timey phones right now.

• 21:28Speaker 00

  I don't even know how to hang those things up. Can you hang up?

• 21:31Speaker 01

  I, well, yes. What do you mean, can you? Yes?

• 21:34Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  Oh. Yeah, what the fuck, how do you hang that up? How do you hang this up? There's gotta be another, like, that's not the at-home one. The ones I saw were like on the wall.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  On the wall?

• 21:47Speaker 00

  I think it's cool to have like a two-piece bikini phone like that. I think that's cool.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  This is what has made, I, I am all on board, like, I, I don't believe that as a person, I am going to go the way of the radio and my mentality. I firmly believe in change, and things updating, and new designs, except for with my music. But, phones have gotten worse, because it has taken all of the emotion out of hanging up.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  I, I'm down with like landlines. Like, I think that's cool.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  You gonna have one? Oh, don't let me know that, cuz if I get that number, I'm fucking, Prank Frank is coming out, dude.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Well, you ruined that. Forget it.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  You ruined-

• 22:28Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:29Speaker 02

  You ruined-

• 22:29Speaker 00

  You ruined it. But you're like, you know, when you're like, you know, even, cuz I think about back in the day, where like, you know, like a girl would be on the phone, and she's like, plays the-

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, they like twirl it, maybe on those party lines.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  I would do that shit too, kinda, I'm not gonna lie.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  I mean, like, there was something, as people that had, cuz I, I almost imagine that you never had a landline in your house, or if you had one, you were not old enough to remember it.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  I had a home phone.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  That's the landline.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Was it, was it ever attached, or was it always like-

• 22:57Speaker 02

  No, it was just like-

• 22:58Speaker 00

  Damn dude, we're like right on the cusp.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  We are, we're right there.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  That's so cool. I'm so glad that we were able to-

• 23:03Speaker 01

  But like-

• 23:03Speaker 02

  I think my grandma had that.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  My guy, doing this, and just fucking, ah! It must've felt so good for my parents arguing with each other.

• 23:14Speaker 00

  I, honestly, like, the landlines that are just a phone, that like-

• 23:19Speaker 01

  That's like, that's like- I mean, I don't, I don't think it's whack, because you could, cuz here's what you could do. You, you have it-

• 23:25Speaker 00

  I'm saying wireless. Wireless is whack.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Wireless isn't whack, cuz you could still hang it back up.

• 23:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you gotta put it on the-

• 23:30Speaker 01

  A lot of those old wireless ones went into the wall, like the movie Scream.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Oh, you're talking about the big fuckers.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  The brollic bitch. Oh, yeah, the ones that look like a fucking like, uh-

• 23:40Speaker 01

  It looked, it looked like, it looked-

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Looks like that.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  It looks like a detonator. It, it was like the size of the fucking iHeart Award, like-

• 23:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  That's basically what it was. Yeah. But like, that shit, like, now-

• 23:54Speaker 00

  Damn, that shit is heavy.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Like angrily hanging up has been, it's, it's a lost art form. Now you do this.

• 24:01Speaker 00

  Well, now it's like, now it's more passive-aggressive, cuz like, no one talks on the phone, so it's more of like texting, and it's like, I'm just not gonna answer. It's like, you're just, you're just, it's like, this is, this is an aggressive-

• 24:11Speaker 01

  I hate that form of, like, like, written communication, like texting or email. I, I would much prefer a phone call, and I just, I feel like it is a lost art to just fucking absolutely slam your phone.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Like, even like flip phones. Like, I know we're kinda coming back to that now, where like, the new iPhone Duo is a flip phone-ish.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  It's like-

• 24:38Speaker 01

  But if I see someone holding a fucking iPad to their ear, and then they go like this to hang up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say they look dumber than-

• 24:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Just get a flip phone.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  When I see like, Apple trying to make like, the new iPhone to be a flip phone, but it's like, really a screen that flips, or whatever, it's really like, you know, this is like, someone like me wearing Carhartt. You're like, you, you're, you don't work.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  You don't work.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Why are you wearing that? You're not working the, the field.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  I'm with you.

• 25:06Speaker 00

  It's just like, you're not the thing.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  You're cosplaying the thing to remind people of the thing that was better than your thing.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, I'm, I'm like pretending here, you know? Like, you're, you're not a flip phone.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  It is. It's like the people, it's like Carhartt used to be like legit workers' clothing, and now it's like high fashion.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  It's just like, yeah, it's like ironic.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you see one of the guys from like, fucking, I don't know, what's like a super model-y guy or something, like a model, like Rob from The Traitors, is like modeling a Carhartt cargo pant, and it's just like, this is the opposite of what it's supposed to be.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, like you got Carhartt pants, Carhartt jacket, and you're working out of a, a really nice coffee shop. I've, listen, I've done it. I'm telling you, as the guy, this is made up.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Listen to Chris Daughtry.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Listen, listen to me.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Listen to-

• 25:57Speaker 00

  All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm living with you.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yo, I don't know.

• 26:07Speaker 00

  I thought you were gonna keep going. I don't have anymore.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  This is, this is an episode for the Daughtryverse. The Daughters.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  We're all daughters.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  We're all daughters.

• 26:17Speaker 00

  We're all daughters today.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  We're all daughters today, yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  I get the conversation about the Carhartt thing, and I, maybe, I know-

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Cars are probably a bad example.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  I know, I know this doesn't apply, but it is kinda funny, like Frankie wearing a Yankee hat during that, and it's like, you don't play for the Yankees. Is that the same?

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Different. It was always made to be fandom apparel. Carhartt-

• 26:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's for fans. It's fan service.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yes, Carhartt, and I don't know the history of Carhartt.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  I'll say, if you showed up to a baseball game, and I don't like when people do this, but unless you're of children, if you show up to a baseball game in the full-

• 26:48Speaker 01

  In the pants and everything.

• 26:50Speaker 00

  You're in the pants. You buy ba, like, we're, we're wearing baseball pants to the game.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  I will say this, and not even that intense, if you show up to like, a park down the street, and you're wearing like, a full Lakers getup, and it's LeBron.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  Too crazy.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Like, that's where, that's where it's crazy.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  I don't like it.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  I agree. Here's the thing, I have no issue with Carhartt. I don't know if, like, anything about them, realistically, we're just using an opportunity to talk about shit. Look up how tall Carhartt is. But, if they're gonna be like high fashion now, they need to like give back to the workforce, and just be like, they get, you know, if you could provide like a union number, a union ID, you get like thirty percent off all Carhartt merchandise.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  I mean, I-

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Uh, Carhartt's original headquarters was two stories high.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  That's big, Frank. Two stories, brother?

• 27:39Speaker 00

  It's a building.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  My house is bigger than that.

• 27:42Speaker 00

  Your house is three stories?

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 27:46Speaker 01

  Nah, it ain't. But like-

• 27:49Speaker 02

  That was their original headquarters. They could've upgraded.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, they probably have. They're probably, they're probably like four-

• 27:53Speaker 00

  I'm sure they are.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  They're probably four floors at the top of a building in like Missouri.

• 27:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  I'm not looking that long.

• 28:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I, uh, you know, I'm just saying for anyone out there who wears Carhartt and you don't swing a hammer, let's just be aware. I don't swing a hammer. I mean, I like swinging a hammer.

• 28:15Speaker 01

  You don't even have a hammer.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  I have a hammer.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  You bear, you're, you're lucky.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  I have a hammer.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  You're lucky if you have a hammer.

• 28:21Speaker 00

  I definitely have a hammer. I have a hammer.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  I'm gonna tell you.

• 28:24Speaker 00

  I have nails and screws.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  What's the size of your hammer? This? That's not a hammer.

• 28:27Speaker 00

  No, it's a hammer, buddy.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 28:29Speaker 00

  And it's got a, it's got a fucking, what's it called on it? Uh...

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Grippy.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, like a grip.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  So how would you, so how do you grip it?

• 28:37Speaker 00

  No. How, how am I supposed to grip it?

• 28:39Speaker 01

  People that grip a hammer up here have never used a hammer.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  No, I mean, I don't.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Hammers are, hammers are down here. Dude, you wanna know something so fucking cool? By the way, I never knew that there were different types of hammers. I thought hammers.

• 28:52Speaker 00

  Sledge?

• 28:53Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, like hammers, like the ones with the...

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Hammer.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, there's different sizes, there's different ways.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Shapes of the hammer.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Of the face.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  May I be struck dead today if I'm lying about this. I'm not, I'm gonna live a long life.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  When I worked construction, there were, because like you, there are different trades on the site. You have your carpenters, you have your lathers, tapers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was a carpenter who was so skilled with a hammer, he would,

• 29:26Speaker 01

  no exaggeration, take one of his hammers and he could throw it on the ground, it would hit on the back, like the teeth on the back, and it would come back up toward him.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  And I'm not saying like he did it like the whole time, but he was able, like, you know how like they say like really skilled football players can like bounce a... Like they could dribble a football, like a basketball.

• 29:47Speaker 00

  He was, he was, a boomeranging a fucking hammer off the ground?

• 29:49Speaker 01

  No, not, like, literally he would throw it like that and it would pop back up and he would catch it.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  What was his name?

• 29:55Speaker 00

  He didn't have a name.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  I don't know. He worked for another trade. I didn't know him that well. But I remember seeing it, I was like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  That guy deserves Carhartt.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  He deserves Carhartt.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, not me and my decaf Ice Americano.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Exactly, yeah, with your, with your, you know, luxury watches.

• 30:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, like if I wear Carhartt pants and then Pokemon shoes, I deserve to get hit in the back of the head with a hammer.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  But the fit might go crazy for the gram. We do have some sponsors for today. Uh, the first one being How You Doin', Squarespace, okay? Squarespace is a platform that's going to help you build your website, whether you do retail, you have an online store, uh, selling like any sort of e-commerce, or you make content or anything, or you have a small business or a big business, Squarespace is gonna help you out. You need a professional looking website. When people go to your website, this is their first impression of you. They wanna know, this is a professional thing, this is a professional person, and, you know, I like this brand now. Uh, so it's important to have a professional looking website, and Squarespace makes it very easy because they have a bunch of templates.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  So, you go through pages of these templates, you can just click on it, it populates the website, you switch out the text and whatnot, you put all your stuff on there, and you can have a, a, a great looking website in an afternoon if you're really dedicated to it. Very short amount of time. In the past, you would have to have, you know, some coder or whatever, and it would cost all this money in order to do this, but Squarespace makes it very easy. They also have a lot of tools. They're gonna help you optimize your traffic, um, they're also gonna give you a bunch of data so that you can, um, you know, just optimize your experience having a website, owning a business. Um, but they make it very easy, and, uh, you know, we've used it a bunch here, like, pretty much all of the landing pages we've ever created were created with Squarespace, so...

• 31:38Speaker 00

  You can head to Squarespace.com/basement, and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, uh, using that code basement. So again, go to Squarespace.com/basement, and you'll save that 10% off, uh, with your first purchase of a website or a domain, okay? Um, also, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Uh, BetterHelp is online therapy, so if you, uh, wanted to get into the world of therapy, I believe that you should. I think that therapy is a benefit to everyone, no matter if you've gone through something traumatic or not. A lot of people think that like, oh, that's for people that have been through like horrible things, but it's really, it's really not that type of thing. Uh, I've been doing it every single week for the last, like, I don't even know, a very long time, eight years or something.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Um, and it's great. I find it very helpful, um, it organizes your thoughts, it just makes me feel more relaxed, it's just great, so... Uh, for anyone out there that wants to get, uh, into therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp. They have an onboarding process that makes it very easy to connect with these licensed therapists, and also makes it very easy to switch from therapist to therapist, because that's an important part. You need someone that you vibe with. You can't really open up to someone that you're like, I don't know, that they really get what I'm doing here. So that's an important part. Uh, but yeah, if you've, if you've been wanting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Um, if you don't have insurance or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month.

• 32:59Speaker 00

  Uh, you can visit BetterHelp.com/basementyard to explore your payment options. That is BetterHelp.com/basementyard, okay? BetterHelp spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basementyard, uh, today. Alright, go check it out. Also, lastly, we got Angry Orchard right here on the table, ladies and gentlemen. These, it's Halloween, and they have their Halloween, uh, line. I mean, this one is a blood orange Angry Orchard with the sexy tree, just a sexy tree.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Sexy tree is still there. I have Headless Pumpkin.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  Oof, what do you got over there?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Mystery Collar.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Oh, he's got a Mystery Collar over there, but the Blood Orange? Delicious. This is delicious, okay? Uh, this is Angry Orchard. It is a, uh, what's it called? A cider. It is a hard cider. Uh, this is 5% alcohol in here, gluten-free.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Who doesn't love an apple?

• 33:50Speaker 00

  Who doesn't love an apple? Two apples!

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 33:52Speaker 00

  At that. But, these are delicious, and this is their, uh, Halloween pack. So it has Blood Orange, it has the Mystery flavor, it has the Headless Pumpkin, and there's another one that I believe is like Caramel Apple, something like that.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:06Speaker 00

  Delicious though, um, but yeah, Angry Orchard, uh, it's great. Like I said, it's a cider, it's gluten-free, it tastes really good, and you can go get it pretty much anywhere. If you go to your, your local bar, or you go to the supermarket and you see Angry Orchard, especially the Halloween pack, be festive. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, uh, don't get angry, get Orchard this Halloween. Visit AngryOrchard.com, uh, and use the cider locator to find the Thriller pack near you, alright? So that is AngryOrchard.com. Go get your, yourself. Go get your paws on one of these. Alright, ladies and gentlemen?

• 34:38Speaker 01

  You know what else is thrilling? Patreon, baby. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. Ooh, spooky.

• 34:49Speaker 00

  I thought that was, I thought that was really good.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  I thought that was not bad, right?

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, you got me.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  I, I did get you. You were a little creeped out.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Oh, well...

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Well, that's, that's the what I was going for. So did I get you or not?

• 34:58Speaker 00

  I was giving you a compliment.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Thank you, I appreciate it. Can I compliment you?

• 35:02Speaker 00

  No.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Okay. Uh, Patreon.com/thethebasementyard. That's where you can continue to support us. It's a subscription service that we use that, uh, really helps us kinda keep things going over here, so why don't you go check it out? There's different tiers, and each of those tiers are gonna give you different things, okay? That first tier will give you these weekly episodes, one whole week in advance, and that next tier, you'll get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you start the week with a new episode of The Basement Yard, end your week with a new episode of The Basement Yard. So you really only have to wait four days for new episodes. It's kinda beautiful, it's kinda nice. And listen up, you guys have been so unbelievably supportive. Over 53,000 of you? What, are you nuts? We're number two, which help us get to number one, because, you know, that, that'll only help us.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  So, go check it out at Patreon.com/thethebasementyard, and, you know, we are obviously recording this in time for Halloween, but a lot of people consider that once Halloween is done, it's the unofficial start to the holiday season. Personally, I like to wait until after Thanksgiving, but you know what? You do you. Uh, and if you're looking to get the Basement Yard fan in your life something as a gift for the holiday season, a subscription to the Patreon might be the thing. So go check it out at Patreon.com/thethebasementyard. Thank you guys for the love and support. We promise we are gonna continue to try to give you more of what you like, which according to you, is us. So again, Patreon.com/thethebasementyard, and if you wanna save yourself some extra bucks while you're doing it, type it into a web browser, beep beep beep beep boop boop boop, and then do it that way, okay?

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Now, another website, since I got all the websites, you know, I got them all, I got them all in my back pocket. TheBasementYard.com. Go on TheBasementYard.com and take a look at the website. We're doing live shows right now, and if there's an upcoming show that you maybe wanna try to come to, or, you know, if there's a trip that you wanna make, and maybe you wanna go to a city that we're doing, and there's some tickets available, it would be a really good time. So go check it out at TheBasementYard.com, and if you're doing, uh, uh, if you're doing, if you're planning on coming to any of the live shows, you already have tickets or, or something like that, go to TheBasementYard.com/submit. If you've been to a previous show, we did cards during our first couple of tours, where we talked about crazy stories with people, but, what we're doing now, if you go, uh, to TheBasementYard.com/submit,

• 37:12Speaker 01

  you can put in, uh, there's a, a what show you are attending tab, and you can let us know what show you're coming to, upload a photo, a physical representation of some crazy story, something that maybe we will pick, maybe we will talk to you, about you, with you. They have been so, so much fun, and we wanna keep it going, so... Go check that out at TheBasementYard.com/submit. Last, pero, certainly, no least,

• 37:35Speaker 01

  San Agato Studios.com. We've lo, uh, we've dropped a bunch of new merch, uh, as well as some holiday merch that will be coming out if it's not already out, but you can get a, all of that at SanAgatoStudios.com. There's some really awesome, uh, designs up there. We're really excited for you guys to get your hands on that because it's really, really fun, really cool. And also, may I just talk a little shit? Really good quality, uh, like cloth and material and stuff like that, so you won't be able to find out what I'm talking about unless you go check it out. So go to SanAgatoStudios.com. So we got Patreon.com/thethebasementyard, TheBasementYard.com, and also TheBasementYard.com/submit, as well as SanAgatoStudios.com. Thank you, we love you, we appreciate you. Back to Chris Daughtry.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  Trolley gummy worms, message me.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Fuck off.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 38:21Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck door.

• 38:23Speaker 00

  I will say, I will say before you get into that, having a podcast. Unbelievable. When you, when you reach a cer- let me just, we'll knock down the doors here.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Talk that shit, baby.

• 38:34Speaker 00

  When you reach a certain, uh, uh, like, you guys are so supportive, but when you've like, reached a certain level with the podcast, it's like, if you say something and now people are just reaching out, like, you're just getting fucking like spoiled now?

• 38:47Speaker 01

  Lunchables, a fruit roll up.

• 38:49Speaker 00

  Lunchable.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Gushers.

• 38:51Speaker 00

  What the fuck are you talking about? I haven't gotten any of that.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Oh, well.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  You're not cool enough, maybe, I guess.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Maybe, maybe you need to, you know.

• 38:57Speaker 00

  I gotta pay attention of my DMs or something.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't, it's not, they, they reach out an email to me, you know.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  Oh, then I gotta pay attention to that.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  You gotta pay attention to that, too. I love it because I just love, I love free stuff, man. I, listen, no matter where we are in the world.

• 39:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're a freaking PR package.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  I'm freaking fucking big PR package, baby. Don't get me started on my PRs.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  They messaged me, um, they're gonna send me some, obviously, but, very kind, to congratulate me on winning that candy draft that you guys shit on me for, so, how about that? That's two for two, baby.

• 39:26Speaker 00

  That's kinda crazy.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  I won the Christmas tree, competition, and this one.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  You're not winning the Christmas tree this year.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  Oh, oh.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  I'll tell you that right now. I'm going hard.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  I will say this.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Do you want, do you want the results? Captain, uh, talks poop a lot?

• 39:39Speaker 00

  Wow, he said you're the captain. What am I?

• 39:41Speaker 01

  I'll let you know right now.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  I gotta be the first mate.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  I'll let you know right now. I'll let you know right now. You're inching ever so close to me jumping across his desk one day and absolutely sticking my hand as far up your ass as it could go and working you like that goddamn puppet that you got for us.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Threat or a promise, Frankie? I got thirty-nine percent, Joe got thirty-six percent, Frankie got twenty-five percent of the votes.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  People just, here's the thing, ball knowers know.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  Snickers is like just whacked, dude.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Ball knowers know. And, and, and here's the thing, I would've accepted losing to you. Losing to you hurts because you're just, you're, you're, you're king vanilla.

• 40:21Speaker 00

  What did you have?

• 40:22Speaker 02

  I'm king for the people.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  What did you have again? Snickers?

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Queen for the people. Um, I had Snickers, Hershey bar, Blow Pops, Trolley Gummy Worms, and Cookie Dough is my kicker.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  Bro, this guy had two things that were good. What are we talking about here?

• 40:36Speaker 02

  I, well, that, that means you guys had one or less that were good.

• 40:40Speaker 00

  People were, I saw that people were upset that I picked Milk Duds.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  Milk Duds suck.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  Milk Duds are the best.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  Milk Duds are good.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Milk Duds are so good.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna gloat a little bit now while we're here. Frankie was talk- Frankie picked Kit Kats and then he went Tootsie Rolls, Swedish Fish.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  Yo, low key, by the way, I just wanna say this. I was just in Canada for, uh, Canadian Thanksgiving, which, I mean, I feel like a child who's happy about a divorce. When I, like, two Christmases, I mean, when I have two Thanksgivings.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  I was like, where are we going with this one?

• 41:05Speaker 00

  No, no, but like, you know what I'm saying? Like, two Thanksgivings, it's, it's, it's lovely. Point being, walk into Nicole's parents' house and I'm sitting at the, uh, kitchen table, I turn around, big bowl of fucking Tootsie Rolls. I haven't even seen these fuckers in years.

• 41:21Speaker 01

  Yo, say what you want about the Canadians and Aunt has.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Their chocolate is so much better than our bastardized chocolate we have.

• 41:32Speaker 00

  I really wish, I, I really wish that it wasn't true, but it is such a difference.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Yo, when I, when, when we did, uh, the show in Vancouver last year.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  I, on the flight home, I walked through like the duty free thing.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  And I saw like the Canadian Kit Kats and I was like, yo, hold on. And I held on. They are so much better than what we fucking have here.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  I mentioned that to her mom one time and now every single time I either go there or she comes here, she brings Kit Kats.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Yo, Nicole's parents, if you're watching this, I love Kit Kats too, dude. What the hell?

• 42:11Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  I don't love them, they're okay. Uh, but.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  You guys were so upset that I beat you in the candy draft, you didn't tell me we were recording the costume episode today.

• 42:22Speaker 01

  It's a way, it's a way to get back at you.

• 42:24Speaker 00

  It's a thing. I, I, it was an accident. It was an oversight, to be fair.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 42:28Speaker 00

  You know?

• 42:29Speaker 01

  To be fair, I also forgot about it and I texted him in a sweating panic. Like, oh fuck, did we forget?

• 42:36Speaker 00

  I like woke up one morning in Canada at like six AM and I was like, oh shit, like, this is where we're recording.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  It's also funny because like, all, we've done like one, two years where we've had like incredibly well-done, detailed Halloween makeup, Hollywood prosthetics.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  And now we are just in, I imagine, Amazon purchased Halloween costumes.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Big time. I mean, it, I had to, I was, it was two days ago.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, and I'll tell you this, not very breathable. Daddies.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  I mean, you got a sweater on. Also, you've got two sweaters on. What was that about?

• 43:12Speaker 02

  It's not real.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Is it, is it like sewn in? It's sewn into the shirt?

• 43:15Speaker 02

  It's not real, sewn it to the shirt.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  That's a nice one. I like that a lot. Where'd you get it?

• 43:18Speaker 00

  Prove it.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  This is crazy.

• 43:23Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm all about it.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  It makes it look fancier, but I'm not wearing two layers. It's hot in here, by the way.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  I am, I am all about it, honestly. I, I do like it. I will say going sweater on sweater is kinda nuts.

• 43:32Speaker 00

  You can't have that. That's like wearing two condoms. It's bad, it's actually bad. It's not more protection. The friction.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  I remember, I remember that in like, in like, health class in high school and they were just like, don't do it because the friction, it's like, if you rub two pieces of sandpaper together.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  So then what if you put on three?

• 43:48Speaker 01

  I imagine that is not good.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  I imagine that you will have, like, what? Don't even have sex then?

• 43:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  You might as well just have sex with a couch like J.D. Vance, allegedly, in Minecraft.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  Yo, if you fuck a couch, that's insane.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  How, how tall is J.D. Vance?

• 44:03Speaker 00

  Oh my god, yeah, looked that up.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  Six-two.

• 44:08Speaker 00

  Six-two?

• 44:09Speaker 01

  I don't give a damn.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  Fuck, though.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  Oh, really? I'll back it up and I'll just keep it to mostly political disrespect and moral views that I have that are different.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  Hold on, what does that say?

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Isn't he like Midwest?

• 44:18Speaker 00

  His height was confirmed?

• 44:19Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  Pulling out my one eye right now, it's good. Popular automated Google snippet mistakenly claimed he was five foot seven. Hmm. So he understands.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  You and, you and J.D. Vance, two birds, two J.D. Vance. Birds of a feather.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  The only thing that we share, uh, is the fact that people think they were five foot five. Um.

• 44:39Speaker 01

  I could see you would've gotten intimate with a couch.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Uh, everyone's tried.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  I don't think, no, we absolutely have not, my guy.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  Thought about it? What about that?

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  Thought about? I, I just don't think the cushions would be like, you know, kind to my weener.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  To that hammer he's throwing around.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  I didn't have a good enough couch.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  You have to have a good looking couch.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Good looking couch.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Good enough couch?

• 45:03Speaker 00

  Or just the feeling of a couch.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Look up, look up different, like, let's, let's see some good.

• 45:09Speaker 00

  Forget about looking up. How about this? Inanimate objects. Let's get a top three going.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Hey, well, what's, what's the?

• 45:17Speaker 00

  Banging it. Oh, what are you thinking? It's banging it, dude. Banging the, what's, what would you bang in there? Or what have you banged? Have you banged something? Aunt, you've banged. You've banged. I can tell by your energy, you've got banged, you got banged.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  No, no. But like, probably like stuffed animal rides up there.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Ah, it has a face, dude. It's so bad.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  It's got eyes.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  That's so bad, it has a face.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  You don't have to look into them.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  He hasn't, he, he hasn't banged one, but like.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no, I, I fingered one, but I accidentally.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  That's, you don't accidentally finger something.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  No, no, no, it was an accident. I found myself in the middle of a fingering. I didn't know what I was doing, I was too young, but like, I had a, a Tigger, I told the story mad times.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you did.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  I had a Tigger thing and I was putting stuff in it and then I realized, oh, I'm, I'm fingering.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  That's your story.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  That's my, that's my story and, uh, and I'm being brave.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  I, honestly, thank you for your bravery.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  Thank you. I mean, you're welcome.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 46:12Speaker 00

  No.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  I heard a bag of beans.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  A bag of beans, like you're a, a Roman? You ever see those where like?

• 46:20Speaker 02

  A bag of cooked beans, I heard people do that. A bag of cooked beans?

• 46:23Speaker 01

  That is so specific that when you say, I heard people do that, that means that you have a lot more information you're not sure.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  That sucks.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  I think it's a prison thing.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  I remember in that movie, uh, Good Luck Chuck, remember that, that movie with like Dane Cook and like, uh?

• 46:37Speaker 00

  Jessica Alba?

• 46:38Speaker 01

  I think it was Jessica Alba, what's his name, uh?

• 46:41Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, Mango.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  No, it was a, it was a, a ca- uh, like, either a honeydew or a cantaloupe. And he'd like cut a hole in it and put it in the microwave for like a minute. I, if you need to go that far out of the way, just, just don't, dude.

• 46:57Speaker 00

  Just work on your personality instead.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Exactly, like, do a push-up.

• 47:01Speaker 00

  Do a push-up.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Do a push-up.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  I think, um.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, you asked a question. I, I gave like two answers, you left me dry, I was gonna.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  I mean, you're not dry when you're talking about fucking, you know.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  You left me dry, it's crazy.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  You're, you're talking about all this stuff.

• 47:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, that fucking, whatever. Um, what else? I, I was thinking of something, I was like, that could be good.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  Washing machi- washing machine deserves like an honorable mention.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  Washing machine? How would you, how big is your dick?

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Well, no, I didn't, I didn't mean it was.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Just deserves, you know, an honorable mention in like terms of what it's done for the community.

• 47:30Speaker 00

  Which community? What are you talking about? No one's done a sexual act with a washing machine. Oh, they get stuck in the washing machine thing, get it?

• 47:38Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 47:39Speaker 00

  Porn.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, I honestly don't.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  It's like, oh, I'm stuck in the washing machine and then you get banged from behind. That's like a porn meme.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Right over my head. Right over my hot dog head.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  I was thinking that he was putting his weener in a washing machine.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  I thought you were referencing, like, there were stories that I had heard of sororities that would.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Put, uh, like, it was like, it's hazing, let's make that abundantly clear, but like, they would put girls that were like trying out for their sorority, they'd put newspaper down, sit them on top of a washing machine, bare-bottomed, and like, put on lesbian porn. And like, they would say, if you, you know, if we find anything on the newspaper, you're not in.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Apparently, I've only heard, I've never heard of like, this happened to me. I've heard that it was a thing that there were some really nasty sororities had done.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  What's going on with people when they get to college? What's going on with fraternities? What are we doing here?

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, we're not.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  The fuck is happening?

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Let's not, let's not.

• 48:46Speaker 00

  Chill the fuck out.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:47Speaker 00

  Just go to school and drink a beer.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 00

  Well, don't do that. Unless you graduate, you know, whatever.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  I, I just.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  You could use the dishwasher and dryer at home as well.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Dishwasher?

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Well, sorry, washing machine and dryer.

• 49:01Speaker 00

  There's a lot of stuff going on at your house.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, you have the fucking most fuckable.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Because we don't have answers.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  I'm trying to think.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  You're fucking every, every appliance in your home. You go to P.C. Richards and it's basically a goon fest.

• 49:15Speaker 00

  You say microwave and I'm literally calling the cops on yourself.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  No, not microwave.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  You said you put a bag of beans in the microwave?

• 49:22Speaker 02

  No, I said that's a prison thing, I think.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Prison? They got microwaves in prison?

• 49:26Speaker 02

  No, it's, I don't know, maybe they just hold it really tight to heat it up. I don't know what they do.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  They're making it with pooch under the bed or something? What's that?

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Wine and a date.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Is it? I was gonna say, yeah, they can wine them, dine them, and then porcupine them.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  This is a weekly, right?

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, there are some people that are ads on it. They're gonna be upset that they're sponsors of this episode.

• 49:47Speaker 00

  It's, I mean, you know, I'm in a pirate costume, so.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  Or?

• 49:51Speaker 00

  I can't think of anything, though, off the top of my head.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Not one answer.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  I honestly can't. Like, that's the thing that's, like, you've run through everything.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  A good inanimate object.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  I saw one on the opposite that, like, someone did a tier list, and forget me for not giving these people the proper credit, but like, they did a tier list of like, the most delicious-looking inedible things. So like, things that are inedible, if you consume them, they will hurt you, they will kill you, they could possibly, like, be very harmful. But what looks the most delicious?

• 50:24Speaker 00

  We all know number one. We all know number one. Windex.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  I was gonna say Fabuloso. The purple Fabuloso.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  That's good, too. I thought you would go marbles.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Marbles is up there, yes. Marbles is definitely up there.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  But also, not just marbles, but the fucking mahjong ones? They're like a little flat. Is that mahjong? No. Mahjong tiles? What's the shit that like?

• 50:42Speaker 01

  Like, Moncala?

• 50:43Speaker 00

  Moncala?

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Moncala.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  Moncala, uh...

• 50:46Speaker 01

  They're like half, they're like, they used to come with, like, Pokemon packs, the like, half-energy, like, crystal things that they would do.

• 50:52Speaker 00

  They're good. Those are good looking ones.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Those do look tasty, but also like, the ones where they have like, the little like,

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  thing in the middle of it. It's like see-through.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  It looks like a bank lollipop.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  It does look like a bank lollipop.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Um, what, what other one? Obviously, the one that I think is the most, like, oh, that, the pink?

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Windex I would rip. Also, I would put, like, Pepto Bismol on like, everything.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  I do like Pepto Bismol. Tide Pods. Crazy that they look that delicious. Any slime, too. Like, I wouldn't be able to get past the consistency, but like, we need pictures, my guy.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  So, this is, this is probably like, a bad answer that you guys are not gonna like, but steel.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  Like, you know, like, the bean in Chicago? Like, a part of me is like, I was gonna just take a fucking big bite out of this thing.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Who was the, there was like, someone that like, they said that like, they look like they like, chew on aluminum foil?

• 51:47Speaker 00

  What?

• 51:48Speaker 01

  There was like, a viral thing that they were saying, like, this person looks like they chew on aluminum foil.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  No, I don't know.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Damn it.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  Believe it or not, not an easily Google-able thing. You just gotta use your mind, buddy.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  Google-able?

• 51:59Speaker 00

  You just gotta use your mind. Think about things that you wanna eat.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  Play-Doh?

• 52:05Speaker 01

  I mean, but technically,

• 52:06Speaker 00

  I've probably eaten it.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Technically, it is non-toxic, so it is

• 52:10Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  kind of edible now.

• 52:11Speaker 00

  I used to take Play-Doh, and I would put a little piece on my nose, and I would just hold it there, just to keep it, just to keep it in there.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  My friend would do that with rocks.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Um...

• 52:22Speaker 02

  That might have been Danny, actually.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, the more that we find out about you and the people around you, the more concerning it becomes, like...

• 52:29Speaker 02

  You've been a child.

• 52:30Speaker 00

  I've been a child.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  I was never putting rocks up my nose. Dude, I was terrified of like, you'd always hear people, like, you put something up your nose, you put something in your ear, it's gonna get stuck there. Never did it.

• 52:37Speaker 00

  Ears are more afraid of than nose. Nose, I feel like, have more control.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  Do you remember, speaking of delicious-looking, do you remember the like, they're kinda like putty ear, uh, earplugs?

• 52:49Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  They came in like, a glass, like, plastic box, and they were like, big orange things, and you could put them in your ear, and they would act as earplugs for swimmers or whatever. My brothers had it in their ear, and we went tubing, and they fell tubing, and the water pressure like, lodged it in their ear. My dad literally had to pick at it with like, a fucking screwdriver to get it all out. But that shit looked like-

• 53:10Speaker 00

  Screwdriver?

• 53:12Speaker 01

  They make different sized screwdrivers, my guy.

• 53:13Speaker 00

  I mean, his dad is a, is like, you know, he's a construction guy.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  I understand.

• 53:17Speaker 00

  My dad would clean his ears out with his, with his key.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  I thought like, a tweezer, or something?

• 53:22Speaker 00

  They don't have that.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  You think my father had a tweezer?

• 53:24Speaker 00

  You think that generation has tweezers? My dad, if I said the word tweezer, he'd be like, oh, that's gay.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Plyer? Pliers?

• 53:30Speaker 00

  Pliers.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Pliers are way bigger. Needle-nose pliers?

• 53:32Speaker 00

  How big do you think these child's ears are?

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Maybe needle-nose, but like, if you have like, a small, like, one of the small, like, that you could use for like, toys, or like, you know, eyeglasses or something. At least it's not a fucking kitchen knife like someone was cleaning out their throat with.

• 53:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've made mistakes, and I continue to make mistakes.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  That's like saying, like, I used, I used a fucking, a thing of nails and screws as mouthwash.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Eh, it's not the same.

• 54:00Speaker 00

  Although, that doesn't sound bad either. Like, imagine you can get a bowl of nails for breakfast and actually eat it?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  That sounds delicious.

• 54:06Speaker 00

  Like, it would like, it looked like it'd be mad crunchy.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Speaking inedible, oh, also, an inedible thing that looks delicious. Lava.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  That's such a good answer.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  I was gonna say lava lamp.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  Lava lamp, I drank that. But lava, I, I still to this day love lava.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  I, dude, I am all on board. Wasn't there recently, like, a, a thing of like, AI robots jumping into lava?

• 54:29Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, I saw that, where it was like, they were like, getting rid of these robots, and they like, programmed to jump into the lava. I don't even know if that was real or not.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Great, just, just, I, I, just, careful.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  With what?

• 54:40Speaker 01

  If and when the whole, like,

• 54:44Speaker 01

  Terminator 2, future comes about, people are gonna remember.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. They threw our ancestors into the volcano.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. They sacrificed them to the volcano gods.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, dude.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Gotta be, just be careful, guys.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Um, what other inedible stuff?

• 55:00Speaker 00

  While you guys are thinking of that, let's get to the second round of these ads here. Uh, we have a company called, uh, Quince. Okay, Quince? These people, uh, they focus on high-quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere. Mongolian cashmere, are you kidding me? Um, organic, organic cotton and merino wool. Um, I have a jacket from this company, just got it. Super affordable, very comfortable, high-quality. Like, these people have great stuff. If you go to their website, you'll see that I'm, I'm not just saying that. Um, but yeah, they have 100% Mongolian cashmere, and it starts at just $60, okay?

• 55:41Speaker 00

  And the reason why it's, it's more affordable is because they cut out the middleman, uh, and they work directly with ethical factories, um, so you're paying for high-quality and not like, the brand markup. So if you go onto their, uh, website, they have a lot of good basics as well, but high-quality stuff for a fraction of the price, um, that you're usually paying for, these, these like, um, premium materials like elsewhere, it's like, very expensive. But they have a lot of cool stuff, and, um, you could, I mean, I mean, listen, it's also, the fall is coming up, this is around the time where people are like, maybe I'm gonna, you know, buy a couple of extra pieces to add to my wardrobe,

• 56:17Speaker 00

  and, you know, this is the time. So go check them out for sure. Um, but find your next fall favorites at, at Quince, download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Uh, you get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. It's now available in Canada and the UK, too. Uh, and when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that it was us, uh, that we sent you. It's the best way to support the show, so go onto their site. Look, check it out. High-quality, more affordable than other places. Um, like I said, the 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater started at just $60. Cashmere, $60, I'm in. Um, but yeah, go check them out. Quince spelled Q-U-I-N-C-E. All right?

• 56:58Speaker 00

  Go check them out, ladies and gentlemen. Um, and then lastly here, we have DoorDash. You guys know DoorDash, okay? DoorDash, this is, uh, it's the 24/7 life assistant for, for people. You know, you, you, you're, you're on the app, you can get stuff from the store, you wanna get some food, you wanna get a little drink, something like that, or whatever, you can do that with DoorDash. But there's multiple uses that you can use for DoorDash. There was a time where me and Frank sent, uh, our mothers, uh, flowers for Mother's Day with DoorDash, so they are capable of doing things like that. It's, it's an indicator, okay, that this app also can be used for letting someone know that you're thinking of them. So if you know someone who's going through a tough time, you can send them maybe their favorite snack, or maybe some flowers, or something like that. So it's a good way to connect.

• 57:39Speaker 00

  Not only is it your own personal life assistant, or like, oh, I need this thing real quick, but I don't have time to run to the store, you can get it with DoorDash. But also, you can let someone know you're thinking of them with DoorDash. So there's a bunch of, uh, different ways that you can be using DoorDash, but it makes showing up for the people you love easy. Um, so go check out DoorDash, order now, go download the app, go use it, ladies and gentlemen, all right?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  You gotta, you gotta have more. I mean, I saw one that was on there, it was like, that pink fiberglass insulation, it just looks like cotton candy.

• 58:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. I haven't had cotton candy out of the metal thing in so long.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  My guy. At least once a year.

• 58:15Speaker 00

  Where do you see it? At like, a fair?

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Well, when we were on vacation as a family, they had it at like, a party there.

• 58:21Speaker 00

  I like it when they're like-

• 58:23Speaker 01

  You can just, you know, you can just buy a cotton candy machine. Like, and not like, one of the like, large industrial ones. They make like, at-home ones now.

• 58:31Speaker 00

  Frank, if I try to buy a matchbox for my apartment, Nicole tells me, oh my god, that's so awesome, that would look great at the studio. If I bought a cotton candy machine,

• 58:43Speaker 01

  I mean, I think-

• 58:43Speaker 00

  I'm getting my head cut off.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  I think that, that, you know, you can make it work. I, I think like, if you, you have to like, pitch it. Does she have a sweet tooth? She likes like, pastries and stuff?

• 58:55Speaker 00

  She does, but like, bro, first of all, what am I doing with a cotton candy machine? Like, I need that in my life. I don't have any self-control. I'd be making cotton candy every three hours.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  You are in your whimsy era. I think that it would only do you a, uh, a lot of good in this world if you decided, I'm committing to being whimsical Joe. And look, there's a cotton candy machine on our kitchen island now.

• 59:18Speaker 00

  Our Kitchener Island also isn't that very big, so it would, it would take up a lot of space.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Bro, they make them like this big.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  You can get, you can get one for a couple bucks.

• 59:25Speaker 00

  Low key, I liked eating the cotton candy off of like the paper.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do like, you know, like, paper packaging on like desserts, like icy or something like that.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  I like that.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I saw it the other day and I was so excited, because I was like, this still exists? Like, uh, like a, like an icy cart.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  What do you, what do you mean?

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Like, an icy cart.

• 59:46Speaker 00

  Italian ice?

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, like an Italian ice cart. Remember we'd go to the park and like, you know, they'd show up and they'd have the bin and I don't know how it was still cold.

• 59:53Speaker 00

  I mean dude, you, you, maybe you're spending too much time not in New York, but of course they're around.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  I know they're around, but like I, I saw one recently and I was like, they still got it. Good.

• 1:00:05Speaker 00

  You know?

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Because like you get like a, you'd get like the three, like you'd get like lemon, cherry, blueberry, and then like you'd pinch the bottom of that paper cup and you'd...

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think we ate them differently. We had different like strategies of how to eat them.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  I know how Joe was.

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  No, no one eats that way.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Vanilla Joe.

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  First of all, I would always get rainbow. Ally, also the best flavor.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  You, you are allergic. I agree.

• 1:00:30Speaker 00

  I'm allergic.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  You are allergic.

• 1:00:33Speaker 00

  I, I, uh, but I would get that, or I would get like lemon. I really like a lemon ice sometimes.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Lemon was so good.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  It's so refreshing.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  It's so, I love lemon flavored, like, icies.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  And it gets on your hands. And it smells so good.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  When's the last time you had a Marino's, like icy cup?

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  It's been a while, but...

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  What the fuck is at the bottom of that shit?

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  Just, just dense sugar.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  But like, how is it like glass?

• 1:01:01Speaker 00

  I don't know, but I don't like it.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Dude, what, do you have a, a strategy? Like, do you eat all the way to that, or do you flip it?

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  I eat all the way to it, and then I don't touch any of it until it's just that left.

• 1:01:11Speaker 00

  Oh, you're crazy.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  And then I'll like put the whole thing in my mouth and I'll chew it like I'm chewing glass, like I'm from fucking the Evil Dead or something.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  I won't do that. I'll create like, I'll create a, uh...

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  A hole.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  And once I can see it a little bit, then I flip the whole basket.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:01:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, and then I start eating towards the end.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  I love when it like breaks and you, like, yo, it's the thickest, syrupiest, syrup, like, it is so, do you know what we're referencing?

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  It's, it's like the green and yellow.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  No, think. Like a cup ice, right?

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  It's the green and yellow ones?

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, the yellow ones, yeah. Yeah, the bottom of it is like thick.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  But it, not all flavors, I've learned. There are some flavors that don't have it, but you need either the red or, or the, or the lemon.

• 1:01:54Speaker 00

  Lemon, yeah.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  And like...

• 1:01:55Speaker 00

  Well, the, the brown one, the chocolate, I think, is like, it's still, that has it too.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Is it? Is it? I've never had it.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  Extra glassy, honestly.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  I need to do that. I need to do that.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  Well, like, yeah, I think like orange, it's like once, bro, when I was a child...

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Orange flavored stuff was the best.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  And I got orange, and I like got to the bottom of this thing, and it was just cup and no thick sugar. I was like, what the fuck are we doing here?

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  What the fuck is this?

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  Orange was my first favorite color because orange ice pops, orange icy, like those were the best flavors of everything.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  Oh, I don't feel that way.

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  They were, I'm not saying now.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  I'm, I was always a green and blue.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  But you just went off of, I, I like the taste of the oranges.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  What do you think I'm going off of?

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  The color?

• 1:02:32Speaker 00

  Watermelon and blue? Blue is like...

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Green was not watermelon. Red is watermelon, dumbass.

• 1:02:38Speaker 00

  No, it's, red is cherry.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  Or strawberry or watermelon.

• 1:02:42Speaker 00

  What would green be?

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Green apple.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  No, it's watermelon.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  No, when have you had gr- when has watermelon been colored green?

• 1:02:48Speaker 00

  Laffy Taffy.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  Outside of...

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  Laffy Taffy.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  The, the, no, Laffy Taffys were not green. They were, they were like a pink. And the only time I could think that watermelon was green was, uh, Big League Chew, which is the only acceptable time, because that is the most delicious tasting thing per time.

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  That it, it lasts.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  Per time? Per time that it lasts.

• 1:03:08Speaker 00

  Oh, like per capita.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 00

  Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta.

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Dude, like all flavor, like all colored green flavors were green apple.

• 1:03:16Speaker 00

  Look at it. What flavor was the green ice pop? Show me watermelon. Green apple!

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  I told you!

• 1:03:23Speaker 00

  Lemon lime. Hold on, lemon lime is different.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  I just said lime.

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

  Lemon lime is different. I like it too.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Lemon lime is good.

• 1:03:26Speaker 00

  I would've, I would've guessed lemon lime.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  I'm on board with lemon lime. But it's, it's, it's green apple, and then just look up watermelon flavored snacks, and I guarantee the aggressive amount is red. Or pink.

• 1:03:40Speaker 00

  Well, pink is fine. Pink is great too.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  I'm not fine with pink. I love pink. I'm allergic.

• 1:03:48Speaker 00

  I'm seeing a lot of green.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Because they're, like, they're trying to like capture the, the rind.

• 1:03:53Speaker 00

  Green airheads. Green.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Alright, green airheads is the exception too.

• 1:03:57Speaker 00

  That's, but that's a top five.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  But significantly...

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  It's green.

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  Significantly, they're red or pink. Yes.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  Bro, they're not red. Red is cherry, always.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Or strawberry or watermelon.

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  Strawberry is like a...

• 1:04:10Speaker 01

  There might be a difference in the hue, like it might be like a, like a darker red, a lighter red, and then like a pinkish red.

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  I mean...

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Bro, Jolly Ranchers. Great example.

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  Jolly Ranchers, those are pink, yeah. Yeah.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Airheads and, uh, Big League Chew.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  But that's a green apple. I'm not saying green apple. But I, but pink also, mad good. Also, when it comes to sauces, anything orange, fire.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 00

  Whenever a store's like, oh, we got a special sauce, I'm like, I already know this bitch is orange.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm...

• 1:04:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. You don't like orange sauces?

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  No, because it could be ketchup and mustard mixed.

• 1:04:49Speaker 00

  It's never that.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Ketchup and mustard? What are we even saying with our mouths?

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  It has never been that one time.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  People do it.

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  Who does that?

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  Also, Big Mac sauce, garbage. And that's kind of orangey, pinkish.

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  I, I can't like identify it, but if it's orange, I'll, I'll ride.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  It's garbage.

• 1:05:04Speaker 00

  It's fine.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Gabe.

• 1:05:05Speaker 00

  But like, I've never had Chick-fil-A, so I don't know if that, but that sauce looks good.

• 1:05:10Speaker 01

  That's good as well.

• 1:05:10Speaker 00

  The Raising Cane's sauce, or Dave's Hot Chicken Sauce, I fucked that up. Fucked it up.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Dave's Hot Chicken Sauce was good.

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  I like it.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  I, I've never had Raising Cane's. Chick-fil-A is so overrated, dude.

• 1:05:21Speaker 00

  Also, I don't really like a fucking chunky sauce unless it's salsa.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Oh, or blue cheese.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  When this blue cheese has bits of blue cheese in it, I'm...

• 1:05:31Speaker 00

  It makes it worse, because then you get less of the blue cheese dressing.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Blue cheese is so tough for me, especially when it's chunky, because I'm like, ah, it looks not appetizing.

• 1:05:39Speaker 00

  Good.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  It's very good.

• 1:05:41Speaker 00

  I'd rather have a creamy fucking bastard, and just be like, eep.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  You wanna get creamed by the sauce.

• 1:05:47Speaker 00

  You know what I'm, you know what I like.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Right in the eye. That's what happened to your eye, right? Chris Daughtry? No, there's no life after you. I hope he sees this and he's just like...

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  I'm gonna come there and beat the fuck out of those guys. That's what he's gonna think.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  Speaking of a lawsuit, my guy.

• 1:06:06Speaker 00

  Chris Daughtry?

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll let him beat me up for a couple hundred years.

• 1:06:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, but if, but he'll kill you.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  He could, no, but see, like, he could, but he won't.

• 1:06:15Speaker 00

  Because he's a good guy?

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Because I imagine he's a good guy.

• 1:06:18Speaker 00

  Well, what if he hits you with a guitar?

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Ooh, then I'm pumped.

• 1:06:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, you see the guitar coming.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  Like, like he's fucking Jeff Jarrett? J E double F J double R E double T?

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  I think that he plays like a electric guitar. That shit ain't breaking.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  That, I mean, something will break if he hits me with that, and it will not be the guitar.

• 1:06:37Speaker 00

  It will be the bone that covers your brain.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  Yes, it will be the skull.

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, often referred to as the skull. Yeah, but how aerodynamic is a guitar to swing? You could probably weave it. You've never broken it before?

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  It is a very famous thing that people swing and break often.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  No, no, I know that. I'm saying like to hit a person though, it's kind of cumbersome, I feel.

• 1:06:54Speaker 01

  Well, they, they turn it sideways.

• 1:06:56Speaker 00

  It's kind of cumbersome, I feel. Look at, listen to Edgar Allan Poe over here.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, this guy. Oscar Wilde.

• 1:07:01Speaker 00

  It's cumbersome by fear. Like, oh, you're quoting The Raven right now? That was a tough sentence to get out, didn't it?

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  This guy's been reading the fucking Oscar Wilde over here.

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, what are we doing?

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  Who are you? Cumbersome. See, what are you, C.S. Lewis over there?

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  I have a question.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Who's your fucking Mark Twain over here?

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  I have a question. Rank these on how easy they are to swing. Katana, baseball bat, acoustic guitar.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  But see, two of those are meant to be swung. You can't, that's like, that's comparing apples and oranges.

• 1:07:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's true.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  What did I say? What's an orangean?

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  Did you say orange?

• 1:07:34Speaker 01

  I said oranges.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  I feel like, I feel like I had to hear.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  A katana is made to cut through the air.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  I agree with you.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  A baseball is made to be swung.

• 1:07:41Speaker 00

  I agree with you twice.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  A guitar, but also look, watch this. Lot easier to swing it that way.

• 1:07:49Speaker 00

  Oh, the guitar.

• 1:07:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  I agree, so you would put it in third.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  I would. Of those three things. That's like I said, what's the easiest thing to throw? A baseball, a marble, or a two-ton truck? One of those things is meant to be thrown.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  I agree with you.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:07Speaker 00

  It seemed like you disagreed with me.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  It's not top three most aerodynamic things in the world. Congratulations.

• 1:08:12Speaker 00

  Got it. This guy thinks he's fucking, uh...

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  He's a master of aerodynamics over here.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  I'm trying to think of another author's name.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Um, I mean, we're...

• 1:08:20Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's, uh...

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  We've done, we've done Oscar Wilde, we've done Edgar Allan Poe.

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  I think he's Walt Whitman over here.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  This guy's Walt Whitman over here? He's fucking king of comedy over here, Walt Whitman?

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  Who's he think he is? He thinks he's fucking...

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Get the hell out of here. Who the hell is, who the hell's he think he is?

• 1:08:34Speaker 00

  John Ronson over here?

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  C.S. Lewis?

• 1:08:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, he thinks he's, uh, we should know more authors.

• 1:08:40Speaker 01

  J.R.R. Tolkien?

• 1:08:41Speaker 00

  You think, yeah, he thinks he's Tolkien?

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  He ain't Tolkien.

• 1:08:44Speaker 00

  You think you're J.K. Rowling over here?

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Oh, careful!

• 1:08:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I knew, I knew, I knew who it was coming, I knew.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  Careful! Back up on that.

• 1:08:51Speaker 00

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who do you think, who do you think you are? You think you're fucking, uh...

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  Who you think you are? You think you're, uh, Judy Blume over here? You think you're fucking Judy Blume?

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  What do you think, you're Captain Underpants over here?

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no way. You think you're Judy Blume? You think you're, uh... You think you're Dr. Seuss over here?

• 1:09:09Speaker 00

  Dr. Seuss.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  You think you're Shel Silverstein over here?

• 1:09:11Speaker 00

  Shel Silverstein over here.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  Guy thinks he's Shel Silverstein. The great poet Shel Silverstein.

• 1:09:15Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's Dr. Seuss over here.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  This guy can't fucking figure anything out. I am trying to think of as many books as I can.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  I can't think of a single person.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  I can't think of a single book.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  Who has written a book? This is terrible. R.L. Stine?

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  You think this guy thinks he's R.L. Stine over here?

• 1:09:30Speaker 00

  Fucking Stephen King over there? What are you thinking over here?

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Big Stephen King over here. Oh, look, uh, look at James Patterson sitting across from us. You know, look at David Baldauchi.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  Oh, Big Nora Ephron. I caught, I caught, I got some more, I got some more.

• 1:09:46Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  I got some, we can stop there.

• 1:09:48Speaker 00

  I mean... But if I think of one.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  That's my point. Nicholas Sparks over here.

• 1:09:53Speaker 00

  He's Nicholas Sparks.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  He's Nicholas Sparks, Mr. Romantic.

• 1:09:56Speaker 00

  Fucking Dean John over here. What are we doing? He's the Notebook over here.

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, they both are sick.

• 1:10:04Speaker 00

  Fucking Dear John over here.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  This guy Dear John, Dear fucking, who, who, who are you?

• 1:10:11Speaker 00

  I'm not helping no more.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  Who are you, uh?

• 1:10:14Speaker 00

  This guy, Stephen King came way too late.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  Stephen King came very, very late. Who do you think you are?

• 1:10:20Speaker 00

  This guy's at dictionary.com, or he's Oxford over there.

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  Who the fuck is, who the fuck is the, who wrote Twilight? Who's her name?

• 1:10:27Speaker 00

  I don't fucking know.

• 1:10:28Speaker 01

  Who's her name? And then who wrote Fifty Shades of Grey?

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  Fucking, oh shit, that's a good one too.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  That's a good one too.

• 1:10:34Speaker 00

  I think he's the Fire, Ice and Dance over there.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  You guys, is George R. Martin over here?

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  George R. R. Martin.

• 1:10:40Speaker 01

  George R. R. George R. Martin over here.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  George R. Bing's over here.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  Oh, let me guess, you're, uh, Frank Herbert over here?

• 1:10:49Speaker 00

  How the fuck is that?

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  You wrote Dune.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Got it.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:53Speaker 00

  We're having a good time.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  We are, we are.

• 1:10:54Speaker 00

  Can you think of someone right now? I'm not helping this.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  Oh, Nathaniel Hawthorne across from us. Look at fucking.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Who wrote Catcher in the Rye?

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  Oh, I know this, um, uh, fuck, his son, oh. Oh, look at J.D. Salinger over here.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Oh, J.D. Salinger.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  What a piece of shit, J.D.

• 1:11:13Speaker 00

  I think he's J.D.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  Salinger?

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  This guy, cumbersome.

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  He's looking up.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, I don't blame him.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  Fucking William She- fucking Jane Austen sitting over there.

• 1:11:23Speaker 01

  Oh, look at Jane Austen over here, look at Jane Eyre. Is that one? He's looking up. Who wrote Little Women?

• 1:11:29Speaker 00

  This guy thinks he's Leo Tolstoy over here.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  Oh, we got, oh, we got Tchaikovsky over here.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  He was, I think he did music and, and like ballets.

• 1:11:41Speaker 00

  Oh shit.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Uh-uh, look at this guy. Oh, his Chekhov, his Chekhov.

• 1:11:46Speaker 00

  Who's that?

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  Jerkoff Chekhov.

• 1:11:48Speaker 00

  Jerkoff Chekhov over here.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Oh my god, so, excuse us, I didn't know Sylvia Plath was in the building.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  We gotta go, we gotta, we gotta know more female, you know, oh god, I didn't know that we were gonna be hanging out with Maya Angelou. That's a good one, yeah.

• 1:12:09Speaker 00

  Yo, man. Fucking guy.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  Who wrote the Bible? Jesus?

• 1:12:13Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's Jesus Christ and his disciples over here.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  Guy thinks he's the New Testament over here. New Testament, Old Testament, the Torah, the fucking Quran, he thinks he's written all of them.

• 1:12:23Speaker 00

  He thinks he's all of them.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  He's all of them.

• 1:12:25Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's the Bible.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Who do you think you are, Hammurabi?

• 1:12:28Speaker 00

  What do you think, you're Pope John Paul over there?

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck up, you ain't Pope John nothing.

• 1:12:32Speaker 00

  What do you think, you're the first letter to the Corinthians over there?

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  Pope John Pussy.

• 1:12:39Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  It's alright. Well, everyone have a good time riffing about our authors for the last five?

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

  You can look up a few at the end there, but you know, it's okay.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Let us know if there are any authors we missed out on.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, we probably did.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  Which I think there are.

• 1:12:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, the guy thinks he's fucking, you know, he's a little bit.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  This guy is crazy, this guy thinks he's fucking, who wrote The Giver?

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  I think that was Joe Silverstein, am I correct?

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, there's, uh.

• 1:13:06Speaker 00

  Dr. Seuss, there's gotta be good ones like that.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  There's gotta be good ones.

• 1:13:09Speaker 00

  Who wrote books?

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  Who wrote all these?

• 1:13:11Speaker 00

  Who wrote like childish books?

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  Oh, you think you're the Berenstain Bears?

• 1:13:15Speaker 00

  The Berenstain Bears, yeah.

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, they wrote those.

• 1:13:18Speaker 00

  Who wrote those?

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  The Berenstains.

• 1:13:19Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's fucking Goodnight Moon over there.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, Stella Luna, my ass.

• 1:13:22Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's Goodnight Moon?

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  You guys think you're fucking the Rainbow Fish?

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, look at him, he thinks he's the big, Clifford the Big Red Dog over there.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, I'm sure, absolutely, you're the stinky cheese man.

• 1:13:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Get the fuck out of here. Dumbass. Guy thinks he's fucking.

• 1:13:36Speaker 00

  On a scale of one to funny, how funny would it have been if I just muted your mics during that?

• 1:13:43Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  And there's just text on the screen, but that would be offensive to our audio only listeners, and we love them.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  They didn't see what I did.

• 1:13:52Speaker 00

  They didn't see it.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  They didn't see that.

• 1:13:55Speaker 00

  Well, there you have it, folks, uh, you know.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  That's all we have for today. Frank, where can I find you? The Frank Alvarez all over, I'm on Disney Plus, check it out there, do all that.

• 1:14:05Speaker 00

  Very casual, I'm on Disney.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  Go check that all out.

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

  Hey, where the hell are you? You can find me on Aunt Prisco TikTok and Instagram, boom.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, he thinks he's over there. This guy, now, now he's, now he's ten, ten wins, you give us twenty-two minutes, we'll give you the world, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:14:19Speaker 00

  Guy thinks he's Domino's Pizza over there.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  This guy, he's definitely, you're more of a saint, uh, you're more of a Papa John's guy.

• 1:14:26Speaker 00

  Papa John's.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three weeks in a row, we've brought up Domino's Pizza.

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  They're having a moment. Domino's Pizza, send us.

• 1:14:37Speaker 00

  Send us sticks.

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  Merch.

• 1:14:39Speaker 00

  No. The Domino Rolex.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Send us that.

• 1:14:44Speaker 00

  Yes. Uh, but yeah, thank you guys so much for watching and, uh, being patrons, the ones who are, I know this is weekly, but, uh, go follow me at Joe Santagato, go follow the show at the Base Me Art on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  Happy Halloween.