#569 - Choosing Our New Grandma

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• 0:01SCRIBE_speaker_0

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• 0:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Welcome back to The Basem-

• 0:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Welcome back to The Basement Yard. You clicking your two pinky rings together?

• 0:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I click, I click them, I click them.

• 0:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, you got a lot of rings these days. Are you gonna keep going? You gonna keep going up?

• 0:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know, dude. I, I recently, like, met someone who has, like, rings on every finger, and then sometimes on some of them, two, and I was like, "This is crazy."

• 0:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who... Where did you meet this person?

• 0:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It, it's, uh, completely irrelevant, but- ... it's, like, so many rings. It's just, like... I think this is a good midi. A good midi midi. A medium. No?

• 1:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean-

• 1:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I got you this ring. This was a gift at the end of the show.

• 1:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I know.

• 1:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Be fully honest with me.

• 1:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 1:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it's all right. It's a gift.

• 1:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- you will never wear that.

• 1:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, I've never worn a pinky ring.

• 1:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, why not?

• 1:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't... I... 'Cause-

• 1:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Give in, dude. Give in to, like, the, the-

• 1:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm not, like, a pinky ring guy.

• 1:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think you are, honestly. Once you, once you ring it up, then you don't bring it back.

• 1:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I've worn rings before, but it's like...

• 1:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  When's the last ring you wore?

• 1:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, I was, like, in Miami and I wore rings.

• 1:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 1:34SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Wow.

• 1:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What... Oh, you're wearing rings.

• 1:37SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I got rings.

• 1:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You got rings. You're ringed up.

• 1:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm with you.

• 1:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Rings are kind of the way to go, dude, because, like, this is all, like, cool, and then that's a very nice bracelet, but, like, sometimes you just need to, like...

• 1:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's that?

• 1:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Just, just be, just be a loud hand haver.

• 1:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 1:54SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I actually separate them so I don't do that.

• 1:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, this is the only one that I don't, because it's just, it's pinky ring size, and I'm not gonna double it up.

• 2:01SCRIBE_speaker_3

  That-

• 2:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Were you crazy?

• 2:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, this would be insane.

• 2:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That would be crazy, dude.

• 2:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. I would be worried about your, your pinky.

• 2:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It doesn't fit on any other... I don't wanna...

• 2:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  This makes me so nervous. This is-

• 2:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Didn't you... Well, didn't you say that your dad had to cut a ring off his finger or something like that?

• 2:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, we had to cut a ring off of my sister's finger growing up.

• 2:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have you s- you've seen the, the, like, dental floss trick?

• 2:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 2:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's scary, but also, like, that's a cool way.

• 2:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think he used, like, a little handsaw and was like...

• 2:25SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Ooh.

• 2:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And had to, like...

• 2:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like a Dremel or something like that?

• 2:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, like a dentist came in and was like, "Shh."

• 2:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh, I would be terrified of that.

• 2:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 2:31SCRIBE_speaker_3

  My brother had a s- you remember the Silly Bandz, like, that were shaped of animals?

• 2:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 2:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, of course.

• 2:35SCRIBE_speaker_3

  He wrapped that when he was a child in the cafeteria around his finger, and one of my friends saw, like, "Yo, that kid's finger's just blue."

• 2:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That bad, huh?

• 2:43SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, he almost lost it. The, the-

• 2:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But that was such a-

• 2:45SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... the people said, like, "Oh, it would've been gone"

• 2:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that was such a thing I remember with us. Like, uh, the scariest thing in a house as a kid in the '90s and 2000s was, like, window blinds, 'cause they all had the long drawstring. You don't remember that? I-

• 3:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I do.

• 3:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I remember very clearly just being like, my parents, like, barking at us, like, "Don't play with that. You'll choke yourself."

• 3:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Really?

• 3:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, because, like-

• 3:08SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, it's like-

• 3:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... it would, like... It had, like, those big clunky pieces of plastic on the end.

• 3:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 3:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So if it got around something, it would, like, kinda lock itself in and I, I've imagined that tragedies have happened and it scared people into not doing it.

• 3:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's never... I don't know. I never, like, thought about that, really.

• 3:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Something to think about when you have a house and you do window treatments. Like, stuff like-

• 3:28SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new lululemon fall drop, because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 3:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That is scary.

• 3:58SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Super dark, but yeah, it happens. Make sure-

• 4:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Super sure my children don't hurt themselves.

• 4:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, like, window treatments now are just, like, you just pull it and push it.

• 4:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love that.

• 4:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You, you're-

• 4:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love a good...

• 4:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 4:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like that. Or like a, like a crank, 'cause it makes me feel like I'm, like-

• 4:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I have-

• 4:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... the top of a tower.

• 4:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I...

• 4:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like opening the doors.

• 4:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What... Our, our house, like, there's a window that has, like, the old window treatments from the old owners, and it has, like, the rope. Like I'm the fucking Phantom of the Opera, you know what I'm saying?

• 4:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like that.

• 4:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 4:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I have that in my apartment now.

• 4:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I don't m- I don't dislike it. I just-

• 4:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I hate this shit

• 4:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I feel like I don't mind that either, honestly.

• 4:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I hate this shit.

• 4:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I n- now they have ones that, like, it, like, folds in on itself, 'cause some of our windows have that, but now the arm, like, folds so it's not just an arm sticking out like this.

• 4:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, and then it... Yeah.

• 4:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know?

• 4:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But I don't like the crank.

• 4:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't-

• 4:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm cranking the window open. I'm like this

• 4:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I don't mind the crank. I like it.

• 4:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 4:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I have nothing against it. I do prefer the...

• 4:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just up and down

• 4:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... just, just a little up and down.

• 4:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause it feels like magic.

• 4:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It does feel like magic. Have you seen the ones that, like, you can pull it from the top too?

• 4:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. What are we doing now, though?

• 5:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you're not in?

• 5:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What do you mean?

• 5:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How are you on window... Like, if th- is that your favorite window treatment, or do you have others that you're, like, a big fan of?

• 5:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Window treatment. That's what they're called.

• 5:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know, but it's just funny. Um, I don't know. I haven't put much thought into this.

• 5:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The ones that you can just open... Bro, you ever get a window... Bro, I hate these fucking windows that we, we... We're reinventing the window for, for no reason. There's windows where it's like you crank it open-

• 5:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 5:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and the whole window can come in.

• 5:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo.

• 5:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What are we doing?

• 5:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's these windows, brother.

• 5:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why do they do this?

• 5:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They're fucking scary.

• 5:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Do you remember when I opened it and it scared me? I thought it was falling on me.

• 5:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, dude, that has happened to me too.

• 5:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They scare everyone. There's no... And no one in the history of the world is like, "I wish this window would just open this way- ... so that I can get some air in here."

• 5:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm-

• 5:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bro, I'm just opening

• 5:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I'm sure there is a reason, but the fake-out is what fucking scares people, because it's not like it's on, like, a piston. It, like, whoosh.

• 5:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It just falls.

• 5:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It just falls down on you.

• 5:50SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Also, when you, when you're the only one that doesn't know something's happening, I feel like that's when you look the dumbest.

• 5:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's correct.

• 5:56SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Because, 'cause he knows the window came out, and he saw me go, go fully like, "Ah," you know?

• 6:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, I-

• 6:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's like-

• 6:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I d- I don't remember

• 6:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I've opened windows that have like... It's like a handle, and it's like if you put it this way, it opens regular. If you put it this way, it comes down that way. If you put it all the way up, then it fucking, like, the, the asshole pops out.

• 6:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 6:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Just make it a simple-

• 6:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Up-

• 6:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... is it down?

• 6:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just a door.

• 6:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or, or... I know, I know you don't like a crank. I don't mind a crank. I'm fine with a crank.

• 6:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or just open it like a door t- and then shut it. Like, what are we doing?

• 6:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ah.

• 6:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Why do we need all this? This is insane.

• 6:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what windows I love? You know, like, old-timey houses have, like, the, like, it's like a quarter circle? A lot of, like, uh... It's like, it's like one of those windows, and then there'll be, like, two in the attic, so it looks like if you put them together-

• 6:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Yeah

• 6:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... it's like Power Rangers meeting in the middle.

• 6:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I do fuck with that.

• 6:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A lot of, like, old-timey, like, Long Island houses. That's where I saw it recently, when we were on our way home from Long Island. Quarter circle. Yeah, dude.

• 6:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, this reminds me of, like, Jumanji.

• 6:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It... Yes.

• 6:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  There was-

• 6:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's exactly what it reminds me of

• 6:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you're like, "Oh my God, there's a big haunted 32-year-old who lives in the attic there."

• 6:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or yeah, like the Amityville Horror house. You remember that one?

• 7:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's like, someone's dead but alive up there.

• 7:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kinda love windows like that.

• 7:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Whenever I see those windows, I always think, like, inside is this, like-

• 7:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Old-timey old woman that's-

• 7:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or-

• 7:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... just a fucking bitch

• 7:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... or it's just like a- ... uh, an old dude who's just, like, covered in hair. He's got, like, hair all over his face.

• 7:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I imagine just, like, someone is standing in the middle, and they're just going like this.

• 7:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, yeah?

• 7:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah. Like, they can, like, look out both windows at, like, me dropping by.

• 7:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  To this day, if I see an attic window, I just stare at it, 'cause I'm like, "Someone's gonna pop up."

• 7:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We, we were fucking... Do you remember when we were jump scared by that old woman on 44th or something like that in Astoria?

• 7:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah- bro, that w- yeah, I know exactly what that is.

• 7:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Bro, first of all, we... I don't know why. It was true-

• 7:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I thought it was, like, a girl. I thought-

• 7:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was, like, the longest... It felt like the longest block in the world, and I don't know why. But at the corner of it, there was this house. I think it was pink, right?

• 7:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was like a beige.

• 7:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was like a pi- a beige-ish pink, which is the hardest thing I've ever said in my entire life.

• 7:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Beige-ish pink.

• 7:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Beige-ish pink. And we were walking down at night, and we looked over. And, like, jump scare. Like, someone was, like, in the fucking window like that.

• 8:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It looked like the girl from The Ring with, like, hair down.

• 8:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It did, dude.

• 8:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't like that.

• 8:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And, uh, I, I, I, I feel like that, that turned me off to walking at night and, like, looking into windows.

• 8:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I do like looking into people's apartments from my apartment.

• 8:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Freak.

• 8:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I'm not, like, hoping to see them naked or something. I'm just like-

• 8:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, then why do you like to look into it?

• 8:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause I'm like, "What are they doing in there?"

• 8:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well-

• 8:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like, what's their lives like?

• 8:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, I think the hope and the like, the enjoyment of looking in is the problem. It's not like... If you like, if you like looking in 'cause you wanna see them eating food, whatever. But, like, you like it because you wanna see something crazy happen.

• 8:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, I, I... No, not necessarily. I just like seeing, like, um... You're like, "Look at these people. They're all living lives. This guy's working. They're watching TV. She's making dinner, and then this guy's-

• 8:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm

• 8:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... killing someone in his bathtub or something"

• 8:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that what he's doing? That's some Rear Window shit. That's what you're doing.

• 8:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't know. But that h- nice hotel that we stayed at in Toronto, right next to a building.

• 9:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 9:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And also the bathroom, window.

• 9:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yep.

• 9:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So-

• 9:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes, it was

• 9:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... I'm in the shower, and my butt is facing someone's living room.

• 9:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think, though, that had the, the old-timey, like, Hunchback Notre Dame-

• 9:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who's got that kind of time when you're showering?

• 9:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I-

• 9:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I didn't do it.

• 9:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So you're cool-

• 9:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They, they saw my butt

• 9:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... so, wait, so let me ask.

• 9:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 9:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You like kinda looking in and seeing, like, oh, people are about and stuff like that. Do you keep your windows open for, like, the blinds open for that reason? Or do you, like, "I don't want anyone to see in here"?

• 9:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  In a hotel?

• 9:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or, or home.

• 9:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, there's not a building that's, like, super close to me that, like, they would, they would be able to see in and see who it is.

• 9:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean-

• 9:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like, if they saw me from a distance, they'd be like, "That guy's naked"

• 9:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... what would you do if you looked across and you saw someone with, like, binoculars?

• 9:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'd be like, "This guy's a freak"

• 9:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... just staring into your place. You calling the 5-0?

• 9:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I would just assume they're not looking at my apartment.

• 9:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How do you know?

• 9:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause there's a lot of apart... I mean, I don't know for sure.

• 9:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, shouldn't the assumption be that they are so you could stop it?

• 9:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What am I gonna do?

• 10:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Call the cops. Say, "Hey, there's someone in this building across the way from me that's looking into my apartment with a binoculars"

• 10:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, the next... The building is, like, a couple blocks away. I'm pretty sure they'll just go, like, "Nice"

• 10:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, no, they absolutely would do that, dude.

• 10:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What are they, what are they, what are they gonna do?

• 10:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, they'll do something. At least pr- make it... Make me believe that you're gonna do something about it. If the reality is you're not going to, that's fine. But at least, like, tell me you're gonna be vigilant.

• 10:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm less worried about that. I'm more worried about, like, your last house, didn't love that. Your door, I hated that.

• 10:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, like, it was a big, like, it was-

• 10:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was, it was mostly glass. Like, someone who's, like, coming to your house is, like, could see in your house.

• 10:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I get it. I mean, we probably should've... Like, we had, we always had, like, a wreath on the front door-

• 10:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 10:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... so it was a little obstructed, but I, I hear what you're saying.

• 10:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But when I stayed in an Airbnb recently, and the whole front door was glass. I'm like, "I hate this"

• 10:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 10:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like, when people could just walk up and just be like, "Hey"

• 10:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm a big fan... You know what I'm coming all the way back on? Screens, dude. I'm back on-

• 10:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love a screen

• 10:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I'm back on screens.

• 10:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like a screen that slams

• 10:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... dude, I, I... Well, first of all, we grew up with, like, the old-timey screen doors in New York that were, like, made of aluminum foil.

• 11:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 11:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it always had the, like, horse and carriage on the front. You know which one I'm talking about.

• 11:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And they were loud.

• 11:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Loud, and on just the strongest spring that has ever existed.

• 11:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it was the s- the strongest spring that's ever been sprung. It fucking slams shut.

• 11:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude, that thing, when that... When you let go of that thing, it could've, like... I imagine, like, a cartoon. Like, if I put my face where it hit, there would be, like, an outline of my face in the door-

• 11:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 11:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... because that shit was strong.

• 11:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We had one growing up, like, before, like, when I was, when I was super young. I c- I remember a home v- I don't even remember this door. That's how old it is. But I, I watch, uh, old home videos, and when we were in the front yard, we used to just smack on the door to let us back in.

• 11:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it just sounded like-

• 11:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And it just sounded like car accidents

• 11:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that sound. Yeah, that sound. It really was very, like... It was like sheet metal.

• 11:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 11:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, I don't know how or why they produced doors- ... th- that were that flimsy and thin.

• 11:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. It was like a cymbal-

• 11:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know-

• 11:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... like a drum cymbal

• 11:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... we just got, um... Like, on our, our French doors that go to the backyard, it's, like, a retractable screen. So, like, we can throw the doors open in the fall and just have that bitch open.

• 12:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Retractable.

• 12:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, it's like- So, like, the French doors, right?

• 12:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 12:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at me.

• 12:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 12:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's like rolled up on either side, and you can close it. Oh. And then when you're done, you press a button and it just retracts back on itself. Gotcha. 'Cause I'm all about cross breezes, baby. Yeah. I'm all about like open a door there, or a window there, a window there, and let that shit fucking come through. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Burping your house. That, I re- That's something that we had previously spoke about. I came home one day, I think I told you that.

• 12:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I came home one day and Becca's like, "I'm burping the house." I was like- Yeah ... where, where are we now? I mean, I'm the one who's gotta do that. Cole just let the fucking AC just run. And I'm like- Gets cold? It just dries you out. It's all AC all day. Mm. Can't have this. Uh, do you sleep with a humidifier? No. Oh. I, I, I never, but I know that a lot- I have, but then like once it runs out of water, I'm like, "Oh, I-" Well, 'cause that like wakes you up. It, it does the point... Like, the point is that it's not supposed to, like if it runs out of water in the middle of the night, it's gonna be like beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, no. It wouldn't, it wouldn't make a sound. I, I'm just like I wouldn't refill it 'cause I'm like, "I don't wanna do that." Also, you gotta fill it with the right water. If not, you're getting those brain-eating amoebas or whatever they're doing.

• 13:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  On a humidifier? I think so.

• 13:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Nah, you're breathing them stuff all the time.

• 13:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You... It's in the air. Yeah. You're supposed to use distilled water so you don't get like fucking parasites and shit like that. I think that's only if you're like pouring it into your-

• 13:25SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah

• 13:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... nasal, like a neti pot. 'Cause I've done that with not distilled water- You told us ... and I was very scared. Yeah. I was convinced it was over.

• 13:33SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Also, if you're a little thirsty, you could just take out of the, the humidifier and drink a little bit.

• 13:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That would be disgusting.

• 13:38SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Well, if-

• 13:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That'd be absolutely disgusting

• 13:39SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... if you're a little thirsty.

• 13:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If you're a little thirsty, have a bottle of water next to the bed.

• 13:41SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No, well, there's no bottle of water, and you don't wanna get up to get-

• 13:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I always have water on my nightstand. Do you do cup or bottle? Um, I, I guess bo- I prefer a bot- Well, I have like a- A resealable bottle. Yeah. Like a, like one that I like take to the gym or something. I'll fill that bitch up, put it right on the nightstand. The people that used to like old time, like where they would put like a glass of water on their nightstand. Put their dentures in it? Yeah. Well, that was different. That was like a cleaning solution. Yeah, I guess.

• 14:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm kind of not- See, taking your teeth out at the end of the night's probably so fire Yo, I was just gonna say, I'm not against having those one day. Taking my teeth out? If all... Like, if I'm old and gray, and like I got nothing like to fucking like care about my teeth for, I'm cool with taking them out. If I could take my teeth out, I feel like that's better than taking your bra off, you know? Like, to take my teeth out like, ooh. Ooh.

• 14:33SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh.

• 14:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know. They, they make taking the bra off look very re- relaxing. I think maybe if you got a, you know, gigantic, uh, wombats- ... then, then it, then taking them off you're like, "Thank God." Curbangers. Yeah, curbangers. If you had big old curbangers. But imagine like you d- it's like a long day of like talking and eating, and at the end of the day you're like, "Ugh." Take your teeth out. You know, it's funny 'cause we can't- Or take your bra off and your teeth out. Oh- Now grandma's kind of having a dance party ... if you

• 14:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  got dentures and curbangers That's why grandmothers used to sleep really well, because taking out... I mean, what's more relaxing, taking your teeth out- Well, no, because grandmothers back in the day, they used to take all that off to then put on a fucking like twill nightgown and shit like that. It was, it- They did ... can't be fucking comfortable. Well, nightgowns are pretty comfortable. They look like, they make you look haunted. Yeah, but like back those old-timey ones, they had like collars and shit like that. Like, there's no way that shit was comfortable at all. Yeah. My, my grandmother's, uh, my grandmother's nightgown was pretty complex. Like, it had like lace. It definitely looked like she could fly. Dude- Ooh, I like those actually that have like the lapels. Well, that's what I'm saying. They have like collars and shit like that. Like, this... Yo, I'm letting you know right now- Pick your favorite grandma right now. Ooh. Ooh. That's a, make this...

• 15:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pick your favorite grandma. Widen the picture. I need to be able to see- Yeah, yeah. Let's- ... take a look at these ... let's zoom in on these grandmas. We're gonna pick our favorite grandma right now. Uh, ooh, man. I have answers. Mine are close. So, so the one in the pink reminds me of Yaya. Frank, half- In the back ... of them are pink. No, in the back pink. That reminds you of Yaya? In the brighter pink. That does remind me more of Yaya. Yeah. And, um- I got one ... I, I think- I got one too ... I think... All right, so here's what I'm gonna go with. Give me your top two grandmas right now. Top two grandmas in this picture right now, uh,

• 16:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  is the one in the back in like the brighter pink. And- Okay ... um, I don't, I don't... I'm cool with the one all the way on the right in the white. Oh. She's got like a, she's got like a grandmotherly look on her face. Very fair-skinned. Very... I mean, I'm not even picking her because of that, but like, I just, she has like a, oh, you know? Yeah.

• 16:31SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I think there's one right choice here.

• 16:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I, I personally, my, my number one overall draft pick in, in these old women right now, I'm taking shorty in the front in the pink on the right. That's, that's my number one- Okay ... because it just looks like she's like very loving. Like- She, yeah ... you know what I'm saying? But, see, I'm getting more of like a she was like- She looks like she could be a model. She's gonna pull out an old picture and you're gonna be like, "Grandma, damn." I mean, she out of all them looks like the one that is

• 16:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  the closest to having have been German at a really specific time in our world's history. All right. You know what I'm saying? I'm, these are nice ladies, bro. I'm not saying she was a Nazi, but like- ... of all the ones that could look like it- No ... she looks like- She looks like a nice old woman ... a nice old woman. She's an old woman, for God's sake. She looks like she could get down, party. My next pick- Nah, all them party. They, they do this. They do this dance. You're doing the, the Trump dance? They do this dance. No, this

• 17:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  is like the, the old... Have you ever seen the woman, she has like a TikTok account where she like dances like a middle-aged woman? Yeah. You know who I'm talking about? No. They do that middle-aged woman dance, the... My, my second pick would be the lady all the way to the left, 'cause I feel like she's not, she's like speaking a Slavic language that I don't know, and she cooks like for real. No. See, the woman all the way to the left 100% was the one that worked as a librarian. One

• 17:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  million percent. What's wrong with that? Nothing. I'm not saying anything's wrong with that, but I'm not getting like, like old European grandmother. I'm getting that for sure. Like, she looks like she, you know, she really knows her way around a kitchen. She loves wine. I'm just gonna say this. First of all, love all these ladies. Second of all, the woman that I picked in the darker pink just looks like she'll fucking, she knows all the answers. She'll fuck your shit up if you get out of line, dude. She does look kind of like Jersey and smug in this. She looks like she's like, "I've seen some shit." And I could bake the best fucking casserole you've ever seen.

• 18:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She looks like she just talked to a medium and she doesn't like what they said.

• 18:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, she looks like her, her grandchild that has green hair just came home with their friend, and she's just like, "What's this relationship?"

• 18:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 18:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I'm saying?

• 18:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 18:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  She's, she's, she's feeling it out. But those are some sick nightgowns, dude. Wait, go... They got, they got more. We're just giving this Etsy page just a full-on plug. Now we're talking.

• 18:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Are these, are these them, though? Are these, like, actual women who make these?

• 18:45SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I have no idea, I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 18:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, that's- I mean, shout out to them.

• 18:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh. See-

• 18:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  She's grabbing props

• 18:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... this woman, this woman is, like... Yeah, she's, she's my number two, for sure. And now this is a fucking grandma.

• 18:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 18:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at her hair, bro.

• 18:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That is... That, that... I-

• 18:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Look at her hair.

• 19:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a-

• 19:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I bet you this woman was, like, a model. She w-... Like, her hair is just, like, flowing. It's thick. It's thick. Like, you see this?

• 19:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yaya was a model.

• 19:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I remember.

• 19:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yaya was a beauty q- a, a beauty pageant queen. She was Miss-

• 19:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Gloria from Astoria

• 19:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... Miss Astoria. She was Gloria from Astoria. We're just full-on plugging this Etsy page, yeah.

• 19:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Well, that, that didn't have the answer, Grant. I'm just seeing if it was them or not.

• 19:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh-

• 19:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dan, who was your favorite? Mine?

• 19:21SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, the-

• 19:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And who's number two?

• 19:23SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh, number two's hard, man.

• 19:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, you're gonna have to make a decision.

• 19:26SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Uh, quick, quick, quick. Green.

• 19:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Nice.

• 19:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Love that.

• 19:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She seems very sweet.

• 19:30SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 19:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Honestly, all of them-

• 19:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She looks like she's literally three foot tall, though.

• 19:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So I-

• 19:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What if she's in-

• 19:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... came across a TikTok page one day which it got the waterworks going, and it was a guy who's, like... He goes to, like... I think he started off at, by himself going to, like, pride parades and stuff like that, and he w- His whole thing was just, like, hug a dad or play catch with a dad. Because a lot of people, you know, in the LGBTQ plus community didn't have that relationship with their parents. So he started a thing where it was just like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to these, these pride parades and pride rallies-

• 20:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He's the dad

• 20:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and I'm the dad. And, like, you can talk with me. I can just give you a hug. We could play catch a little bit." Beautiful. A service where, like, they just be a grandmother for you would be so sick. Where, like, I call them and I just tell them about my day, and they're just so proud of me, and then they write me a check for $12.

• 20:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That would be a good idea.

• 20:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, at a certain point, we stop having grandmas, unfortunately.

• 20:29SCRIBE_speaker_3

  He's had worse ideas.

• 20:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, that's for certain.

• 20:32SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 20:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ooh, ooh.

• 20:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't-

• 20:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  There's, there's also a restaurant where it's, like, all the women who own it are, like, grandmas.

• 20:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We w- we talked about this recently. They made, like, a movie about it with-

• 20:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right

• 20:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... Vince Vaughn or some shit.

• 20:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That would be sick.

• 20:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, these grandmas, man.

• 20:43SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Like, ev- the restaurant, every, like, week there's a different grandma cooking her home meal or something.

• 20:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's so sick.

• 20:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Be honest. If you hear that, does that make you wanna go to a restaurant more?

• 20:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Absolutely.

• 20:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, if that's the gimmick? Yeah, me too.

• 20:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Absolutely.

• 20:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I went to, uh, an Italian restaurant once in Jersey, and the whole thing was just, like, the che- the chef was just an old Italian woman. It wasn't like a- ... like a, you know, with, like, the pen and the thermometer in there. It was just an old woman w- wearing a nightgown.

• 21:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like when things feel, uh, very simple. And family-owned places too, like, the kid who's working the front is clearly 13.

• 21:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 21:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sh- And this is illegal. But, like, he's the guy's son or-

• 21:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 21:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... whatever the fuck, and then the mom's doing whatever and she's... You know what I'm saying? Like, I like that, that kind of place. I, I went to a place, actually, when I was in Switzerland and, and this is, like, a, a different type of vibe, but I really appreciated this too. It was known for, like, steak or whatever.

• 21:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah?

• 21:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And there was an open pit in the middle of this place, and there was a guy there in a shirt that looks like he's been working there for 100 years. It's covered in, like, soot and whatever. The smoke is billowing right into his face, and he cooks all the meat right there. And, like, obviously that guy is, is, you know, on a, on a last thread-

• 21:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 21:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... because of the amount of smoke inhalation that he-

• 22:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yes

• 22:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... gets on every shift. But I was like, "I like this." You know? Like-

• 22:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 22:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... it's not hidden. It's not in the back.

• 22:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's not-

• 22:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's not 10 guys. It's one dude just being like, "I'm the fucking meat guy."

• 22:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There, there needs to be a place for that. Like, there needs to be, like s- Don't get me wrong, we've been to some, like, fine dining restaurants and stuff like that, and, and I love them, and tho- those experiences are great. But I also love just, like, a restaurant that's just kinda, like, being held together by, like, fucking sticks and stones.

• 22:26SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, it takes-

• 22:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, it's just, like, everyone is just, like... They all are family. They all know each other. No one really gives a fuck about, like, you know, too much, but also they want you to have a good experience.

• 22:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 22:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  When we were in... And I guess it's a Europe thing. When we were in Ireland, there was a guy... I went to a breakfast place, and there was just a guy that worked there. And he didn't do anything outside of just yelling at people.

• 22:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Someone's gotta do it.

• 22:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He was just berating every single person. Like, I-

• 22:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Didn't he say you were gay or something?

• 22:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes, he called me gay for ordering tea.

• 22:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right. Yeah.

• 22:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He did. He very much so did.

• 22:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's great.

• 22:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And, but, like, didn't, like, seat me, didn't, like, get food for me, didn't take the pl- Did nothing outside of calling me gay for getting tea.

• 23:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hey, man, he's earning his paycheck.

• 23:12SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I just went to a place where the waiter's or the waitress's daughter was also in a little, like, waitress outfit with, like, the apron and everything.

• 23:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 23:19SCRIBE_speaker_3

  And the bartender had her bring over one Coke to a table, and it was like everyone was watching. And I looked at the bartender and he went, "It's a gamble every time" 'cause she was like-

• 23:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 23:27SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... he was like this.

• 23:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also, like, if, if you go to a place like that and you become, like... If she drops that and you're just like... You're a fucking piece of shit.

• 23:36SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No one, no one, no one's gonna get mad at that.

• 23:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, dude. There are people that would get mad. Like, i- if, if that's the situation, play, play with it. Have some fun. Let them do it. Like, let them take your order and, you know, like, give in a little bit.

• 23:50SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I was thinking, giving this very little child the responsibility of bringing a full glass with, like, a little tray, I feel like that teaches them a lot, like, with responsibility and, like, fear and-

• 24:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dude, when I was-

• 24:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hell yeah

• 24:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... when I was a kid, I one time tried to bring the turkey to the table, and I dropped that shit in the kitchen and I just put it right back in the blender. Swear to God. Yeah. My mom-

• 24:11SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start This year I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 24:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was like, I was like, "Oh, I'll bring it." I, I wasn't like super young. Like I was like 13, 14.

• 24:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's a little older.

• 24:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a little older, brother.

• 24:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's a little older than what I was-

• 24:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 24:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... what I was.

• 24:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 24:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... a little older, dude.

• 24:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, it was just like a full accident. It wasn't like I wasn't like strong enough, it just like was a slippery-

• 24:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A chicken or a turkey, whatever.

• 24:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, absolutely. Shit hit the ground in the kitchen, I was like, "Oop."

• 24:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, I, it's, it's like, uh, kids at a certain point love to like cosplay working, like adults. So like sometimes at the house Ruby and Maeve will play workers. So like if I'm like working on my computer they'll pull up their toy computers, and Ruby will pull up, like both of them will pull up pen and paper and they'll sit there and they'll write stuff down and they'll type on their computer and then they're just like, "Ugh."

• 25:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know? Fucking guy.

• 25:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. And then like sometimes they'll like just like walk up to us and be like, "All right, what do you want to order?" And like it's, it's, it's playtime.

• 25:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I remember Miles made me a cheeseburger once.

• 25:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Miles made you a cheeseburger. Ruby made me a, a, a french fry pie or something like that, like we were at my in-laws the other day.

• 25:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  French fried pie.

• 25:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It doesn't sound awful.

• 25:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That sounds incredible.

• 25:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 25:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A pie of like fri- oh, I guess fry.

• 25:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  French fry.

• 25:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was thinking like french toast for some reason.

• 25:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh, that-

• 25:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Imagine a french toast pie, bro.

• 25:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 25:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  French toast pie sounds fucking incredible.

• 25:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that not just what regular pie f- like filling is? Not filling, but like the topper. 'Cause it's normally dusted in like cinnamon sugar.

• 25:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I need more of it.

• 25:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What about... Let me ask you this. We're all over the place today, brother.

• 26:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's fine.

• 26:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Stuffed french toast, in out.

• 26:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm. I don't, I haven't really gotten into it.

• 26:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Wow.

• 26:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What does it get stuffed with?

• 26:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I had one that was stuffed with, it was like, uh, bananas and, uh, Frosted Flakes cereal and Nutella.

• 26:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where did you go, Peter Pan? What fucking place did you get that?

• 26:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I forgot where, but it was a, a restaurant I went to, a breakfast spot once.

• 26:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, it was a real place, it wasn't like, "Oh, Miles made it," it's like I have an idea?

• 26:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, it was very real, and-

• 26:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wait, you went to a place- ... and on the menu they had french toast that was stuffed with Frosted Flakes, bananas, and Nutella-

• 26:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes

• 26:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and you said-

• 26:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Th- yes

• 26:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... one of those.

• 26:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes, I did.

• 26:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That is outrageous.

• 26:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Why? Why is that outrageous?

• 26:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a crazy order to-

• 26:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, that sounds delicious, does it not?

• 26:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I c- uh, yeah.

• 26:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What would you have rather me have gotten?

• 26:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A, a, I don't know.

• 27:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A protein omelet.

• 27:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A pro-

• 27:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let me, uh... Let, you know what? Let me not get anything with whimsy on this menu. Let me get one green omelet.

• 27:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What?

• 27:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I just-

• 27:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Was that a Dr. Seuss thing?

• 27:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A green omelet? No, like how they do like- ... it's like an omelet stuffed with green bell peppers and broccoli and shit like that, like no, it would be a little whimsical. Dude, you're not in on stuffed fucking-

• 27:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think so.

• 27:24SCRIBE_speaker_0

  No.

• 27:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause sometimes they st- they like s- stuff shit like and it's like too sweet. Like they put like cream and strawberries and like I'm just like, "Ugh." Now I m- now it's barely the thing that I want now. It's now it's just a cream.

• 27:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, uh, if they just do big Texas toast.

• 27:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. But also like that kind of thing, even when you go to a, a place and they, you order pancakes and it comes out and it's a fucking bed sheet of pancake. I'm like, "Oh, who the f- who is this for?"

• 27:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, pan-

• 27:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm not eating this.

• 27:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I got, I get what you're saying. You just-

• 27:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's too much pancake

• 27:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you want an even balance.

• 27:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I wanna be able to eat a pancake and not feel like I'm eating a, a cream with a side of pancake. You know what I mean? What was the thing that you got in Vancouver? It was called something.

• 28:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pannenkoppen.

• 28:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pannenkoppen.

• 28:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, 'cause first of all, I don't know if we've openly told this story.

• 28:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pannenkoppen.

• 28:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know if we've openly told this story. You wanna get to the fucking ads first and then I'll go off about these fucking Pannenkoppen?

• 28:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pannenkoppen. How do you spell that?

• 28:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, there was Ks in there.

• 28:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's like a, it's like-

• 28:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's a chain.

• 28:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How do you spell it?

• 28:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, there's Ks, there's Ks.

• 28:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 28:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There's Ks. It's like a chain in Vancouver.

• 28:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A Pannenkoppen. That's-

• 28:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There you go.

• 28:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 28:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo, this shit was fucking big, dude.

• 28:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's like a crepe. Looks like a tortilla.

• 28:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was like a mix of a crepe and a pancake. It was fucking big.

• 28:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pannenkoppen. All right, but we do have some ads, uh, and this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, but BetterHelp is online therapy, so if you wanna get some therapy you can with BetterHelp. I suggest everyone get into therapy. I've been in it myself for many years. It's very helpful. Um, but you can check it out and BetterHelp, uh, is online therapy, so you can talk to someone, um, on the phone or text or whatever, and they make it very easy to onboard. So

• 29:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  just under 48 hours you can start talking to a therapist. They, they also make it very easy to find the right fit for you because that's a very important part. You wanna find someone that you vibe with. You don't have to just talk to the person that they put in front of you. You can find the right person that feels like they, they match your vibe. So, um, yeah, go check it out. Uh, it's the I think the biggest online therapy platform that exists. More than six million people have used it globally, so it's

• 29:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  great. Uh, definitely go check them out. Uh, y- so yeah, go check out BetterHelp, betterhelp.com/basementyard. That's spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com/basementyard. Um, but yeah, it's also more affordable than in-person therapy. A lot of the time that is very expensive. So go check out BetterHelp if it's in your price range and, uh, see if you can find the right fit for you. But again, that is betterhelp.com/basementyard to get started today.

• 29:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, we also have this right here, Angry Orchard, okay? This is a hard cider. This is the crisp apple flavor. It is delicious. Um, there's two apples in every bottle, okay? So if you like apples, also low-key, I mean, maybe this is just me 'cause I really want it to come sooner, but like autumn kinda right around the corner, this is the time. This is the time It makes it feel like autumn. You

• 30:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  know, I love it. But it's, it's for a- any time of the year. But it's, uh, two, two apples in every bottle. It is delicious. Um, it's, it's a hard cider, and, uh, it's the number one hard cider in the country, and this is their leading style, the Crisp Apple. So if you wanna try out Angry Orchard, this is the one. Go get that Crisp Apple. Um, you can go get it. Um, it's available at bars, restaurants, and retailers nationwide. Um, like I said, there's two apples

• 30:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  in every bottle. It's delicious, okay? It's very refreshing. Hot day, cold day, don't matter. Boom, pop it, a little bit of hard cider for you. Um, but yeah, go check them out. Uh, you can go to visit Angry... You can visit angryorchard.com and use their cider locator to find Angry Orchard near you, okay? If you see it on a menu, try it out. Go try it out, a little Angry Orchard. Um, and

• 31:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  lastly here, we have Naturium. Uh, Naturium is clinically effective skincare for everyone, everywhere, every day, okay? Even as dudes, I don't know if there's a stigma out there still. If there is, then there shouldn't be, but we need to take care of our skin, okay? Uh, I use Naturium because I'm not trying to age myself faster than I already am. I'm trying to stay as boyish as possible. Is that even okay to say? Um,

• 31:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  but Naturium, uh, it's affordable luxury you can use every single day for your face, um, for your skin. You can kinda use it head to toe. Uh, it's great, but they, um, they have clinically... It's clinically effective, uh, skincare. Um, it's great, so go check it out. Uh, they have a bunch of different products that you can use, and it's this luxury feel but also, uh, at an affordable price as well. You can also get rewarded for being consistent with

• 32:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Naturium's Consistency Club. So you can sign up, earn points, redeem rewards, and yeah, that's it. Um, but give your skin the affordable luxurious glow-up it deserves by going to naturium.com/basement for 10% off your first purchase today, spelled N-A-T-U-R-I-U-M.com/basement, okay? Go check it out. And again, uh, if you go to naturium.com/basement, you'll get 10% off of your first purchase today. So go get yourself that luxurious skincare that I'm using, that everyone's using.

• 32:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And while you're doing that skincare routine and maybe you're kicking back with an Angry Orchard, why don't you throw on the Patreon? Patreon.com/thebasementyard is the subscription service that we tell you guys about every single week. Why? Because it directly supports us, and you get a little bit more of us, and you get these weekly episodes earlier too. So go check it out at patreon.com/thebasementyard. Take a gander at what we got going on over there. There's different tiers. Each of them have their own perks. That first

• 33:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  tier is gonna get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance, and then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you can start your work week, end your work week with The Basement Yard. And then there's some Santa Gotta Studios in there. There's old PR. There's so much going on. So go check it out at patreon.com/thebasementyard. You guys have been overwhelmingly supportive, and we are so appreciative, and we wanna thank you because that directly in- uh, affects and influences everything that we do

• 33:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  here. So thank you so much. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. Yes, and I know what you're asking yourself. "If I sign up today, am I just gonna get what comes out after I sign up?" Uh, uh, uh, you'll get everything available, everything that has previously been available. So whether you're going back to school, whether you're starting a new job in the fall, whatever you got coming up, let Patreon, let The Basement Yard be a part of it, patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you wanna sign up or you wanna give it as a

• 33:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  gift, do yourself the favor, save yourself a couple bucks by going to a web browser and doing it that way. If you use the smart app, it's gonna take a couple extra bucks from you. You know, it'll add up through time. But if you wanna save the money, do it on a web browser. So patreon.com/thebasementyard. We love you. We thank you. And guess what? We're back doing shows. What? Are you kidding? We're so excited. We are really, really pumped. These shows are gonna be a lot of fun. We have

• 34:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  been putting together what the run of show is gonna be like, and it's gonna be entirely different from those old shows that we did previously. Uh, but something that we are doing is we wanna do more audience interaction because those cards that we did during the first two rounds of shows were so fun, we wanna do them again. So we have gone, uh, and used the website again, thebasementyard.com/submit. If you go there, you'll be able to put in what show you're coming to, what night you're

• 34:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  coming to, and then you can submit a picture. It's gonna be a visual representation of what the cards basically were. So if you go, you submit a picture, out of context, crazy, kooky, banana, whatever, and then you add some context if you want. You add your name, and maybe we'll choose it. Maybe we'll talk about it to you, with you, about you. Doesn't matter. We want them to be crazy and fun because w- how much fun we had doing the cards the first time. So go check it out right now, thebasementyard.com/submit, patreon.com/thebasementyard. So much coming up. So much going on. We love you. We appreciate you. We'll get right back to you. What was I gonna ask before I said, like, "Let's get-- We'll get to the ads"?

• 35:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't know.

• 35:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I said so- I said something. It was like, "We're gonna get to something" or "We're gonna get to the ads."

• 35:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The last note I have is stuffed toast that is French.

• 35:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I can't believe that. Fuck, I forgot it. I was gonna say-

• 35:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Pa- panakoken?

• 35:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yes, the panak- panakoken.

• 35:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I didn't write that down 'cause I couldn't spell it.

• 35:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. We did the show... I don't know if we publicly spoke about this. I know we joked about it at some of our shows, but we did the Just For Last Comedy Festival in 2025 at, uh, the, the, the Queen Mary Theatre. I think that's where we're doing the show again this year, right? Or this, this go-around.

• 35:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Queen Elizabeth.

• 35:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Queen Elizabeth. Forgive me. I don't want-

• 35:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Different queen

• 35:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I d- I don't wanna upset anybody.

• 35:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One of them's a ship.

• 35:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But Mikey, our videographer and sh- video genius extraordinaire, uh, he lived there for a little bit, didn't he? And he said, like-

• 36:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 36:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... "Where could w-" We were like, "Where could we go for a good breakfast?" And he told us a place, but, like, we didn't know it was, like, going to, like, IHOP.

• 36:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 36:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was like the IHOP of Vancouver.

• 36:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's called The Dutch.

• 36:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The Dutch. And Greg took a video, and you, like, pan and you see, like, you know, Mikey gets his avocado toast, and everyone else gets a seemingly sensible breakfast And then you pan toward me, and it's just a fucking-

• 36:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Panakoken

• 36:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... it's a panakoken all right.

• 36:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 36:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But it was on like... It was a big plate.

• 36:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was a big panakoken.

• 36:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was big. But whatever.

• 36:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 36:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We had a good time. There was fresh fruit on there, so that was my healthy part of it.

• 36:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 36:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know? And there was a lot of, uh, whipped cream on there.

• 36:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, certainly.

• 36:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I didn't skimp on the syrup that I put on there either. You know, when... If you're gonna koken, panakoken. You know what I'm saying?

• 37:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's the, uh, tagline for them.

• 37:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think so.

• 37:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Uh, have you ever not finished a meal?

• 37:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh, that's a good question. N- uh, yes. The answer is yes.

• 37:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, yeah, but, uh-

• 37:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I can't tell you when

• 37:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... like once or twice, I don't- I'm not counting that. Like 97... Like what percentage of meals do you completely finish, you would say?

• 37:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Um, I would say a g- uh, over 90, definitely. Easily.

• 37:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Over 90%?

• 37:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Over 90% I'm finishing the m- the meal. And like not just the m- like the main of the meal, like the sides as well.

• 37:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow.

• 37:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's very rare that I don't. Very rare.

• 37:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, fair. Yeah, I, uh, you- you've said that numerous times, that you're like, "I don't wanna waste the food that's on my plate."

• 37:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I think, I, I think it's a, it's just a, it's a combination of my insatiable appetite, and I like feel like, "I paid for this, I'm gonna fucking eat it."

• 37:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  All right. There you go.

• 37:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that crazy?

• 37:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We're just going, no, no. No, it's just aggressive.

• 37:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 37:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think you said that, yeah.

• 38:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that aggressive?

• 38:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I feel like leaving a side is fine.

• 38:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What is the average percentage of a meal that you finish? Let's do that.

• 38:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh. Over s-

• 38:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  80. Over 80?

• 38:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  80% of each meal.

• 38:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 38:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, at a restaurant, yeah.

• 38:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have you ever like... 'Cause I think I saw that you had posted when, uh, you and Nicole were in Portugal, you were like, "If I had no pride, I would lick this plate." How many finger- No? How many plate-licking-

• 38:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Mm-hmm

• 38:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... meals have you had?

• 38:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, no. I mean, that was because it was like this dessert, and like whatever thing it was sitting in was like unbelievable, and I was like, "Oh my God."

• 38:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 38:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like if I was home, I'd be licking it like a fucking cat.

• 38:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What would h- what would have to happen for you to do one of these?

• 38:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, uh, not much.

• 38:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, you're like-

• 38:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I'm not above that.

• 38:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, okay.

• 38:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm not talking about like putting this thing up to my face like I just won Wimbledon and just licking it. You know what I mean?

• 38:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Would you do... Uh, I mean, I guess if you didn't do that for that dessert in, in Portugal, you're not gonna do that for anything else.

• 39:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I mean-

• 39:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Licking a plate in public is crazy

• 39:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... it's a t- it's a tough look.

• 39:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is it?

• 39:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 39:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right, maybe you don't bring it up to your face, but like-

• 39:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sneak a lick.

• 39:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's worse. Is that worse?

• 39:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I think it might be worse.

• 39:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 39:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  She's like, "Oh, let me smell that." And I'm like-

• 39:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm not even saying that

• 39:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... just doing it.

• 39:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like just be open about the plate licking.

• 39:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, is it a bowl? 'Cause if it's a flat plate your nose is hitting the plate probably. You can't have, you can't have your nose-

• 39:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Brother, you could put your tongue out further than your nose.

• 39:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Y-

• 39:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You can't?

• 39:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, yeah, you could.

• 39:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You could put your tongue out further than your...

• 39:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not that-

• 39:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can you do it?

• 39:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not that, not that-

• 39:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Turn your head. Turn your head

• 39:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... not that far. That's too much.

• 39:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're curling up. Yep, that's further than your nose, brother.

• 39:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, cool.

• 39:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Absolutely. Look.

• 39:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, but how far? Let me see.

• 39:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're down. You gotta go straight.

• 39:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, you gotta go straight. Also, turn your head more for the camera.

• 39:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Your shit is so curved.

• 39:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh yeah, you're fine.

• 39:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right, all right. I'm, I'm worried about it getting stuck up there. Was that curving up a little bit?

• 39:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You were like, it was kinda like a wave.

• 39:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh. I got a big ass nose though too. I guess if I... Could I hold it?

• 40:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Are you saying-

• 40:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It really does look like a piece of meat. I mean, we eat beef tongue, cow tongue. What is it called?

• 40:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Have I eaten that? I don't know if I have.

• 40:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes, we have. We had it together-

• 40:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Did we?

• 40:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... in Ireland. It was-

• 40:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Did we?

• 40:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 40:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 40:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You ate one side of it, I ate the other.

• 40:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Hmm.

• 40:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's the joke. No, they like, they like prepared it on a plate at that restaurant we went to in, in Dublin.

• 40:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. What does that taste like?

• 40:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was good.

• 40:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It was whatever is like-

• 40:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Very, quite-

• 40:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... made with, I don't know

• 40:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... quite tender.

• 40:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ugh.

• 40:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're not in?

• 40:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ugh, ugh. Um-

• 40:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Where do we go from there?

• 40:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That was a stretch. You had said something before we... about the most romantic cities in the US.

• 40:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. So Forbes, I believe it was Forbes, recently did a study about the most romantic... I, I, I haven't... And you wrote Frobes. Idiot.

• 40:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I did, I did.

• 40:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Frobes.

• 40:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Idiot.

• 40:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Idiot, idiot, idiot.

• 40:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Frodo.

• 40:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Um, they did a study, and apparently they revealed, uh, the most romantic cities in the United States. A, a, a per a Gillis report. I don't know what the hell that is. But there are five destinations for romance-inclined travelers looking for a domestic holiday. I'm going to give you... Honestly, there were two on here that I was pretty surprised by. Two that I'm like, "All right." One that I was just like, "Huh." Like, but there's two that I was just like, "What?" I couldn't get it. Do you, can you think of any romantic cities in the United States?

• 41:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Nothing like stands out to me. The only thing I'm thinking of is like New York.

• 41:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, yes. New York was the most romantic city in the United States.

• 41:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay. Um-

• 41:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Now I'm fresh out

• 41:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... they earned the top spot in the study with over 212 romance related searches p- per 100,000 residents. Earned high engagement across all categories from romantic walks and hotels to couple activities and date night ideas-

• 41:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay

• 41:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... making it the ideal spot for planning a proposal, anniversary, or whatever memorable vacation you want as a couple.

• 42:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Chicago? Chicago's on there. It's four.

• 42:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 42:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Chicago, that's a good one. But like I can't-

• 42:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They, they have a good food scene.

• 42:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So is it just f- like good restaurants?

• 42:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Just big cities. Just like dense cities, I guess.

• 42:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  'Cause like I could see, I could... I, I guess I don't live in Chicago, and we've only been briefly and twice, or at least I've only been briefly and twice, and it's... I don't know of anything romantic there, unless like you love Wrigley Field.

• 42:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I've done a... Like near the Bean there's like a- Like a, you could do like a walk. It's like a nice little walk there, I guess.

• 42:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, and there's, I mean, there's that big river. What's the-

• 42:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is it Green River?

• 42:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The Green River.

• 42:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, for St. Patrick's Day they turn it green.

• 42:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Whatever the name of the river is.

• 42:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Couldn't tell you.

• 42:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Could you do like a cute little boat ride on there?

• 42:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, sure.

• 42:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But I, I can't... And even in New York, I guess we have Central Park.

• 42:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 42:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We have like, you know, boat rides around Manhattan.

• 42:55SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I think it's called just the Chicago River.

• 42:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay.

• 42:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That was gonna be my guess.

• 42:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, forgive me for not knowing and-

• 43:01SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh, I didn't know it either. I'm not... I'm just saying.

• 43:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But okay, so you got New York and Chicago. I will be honest with you, if you get these next three, I would be very, very surprised.

• 43:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  San Francisco.

• 43:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 43:14SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's a good g- good guess.

• 43:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That is a good guess. No California cities in the top five.

• 43:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh-

• 43:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I would imagine like you would see like a California, like... But I guess not LA, because LA's not known for-

• 43:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can you give us an area?

• 43:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Um, none of these are on the West Coast. No West Coast cities, which is surprising.

• 43:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um,

• 43:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Providence.

• 43:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. I haven't been to Providence, or have I? If I have, I, I n- I remember nothing about it.

• 43:50SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Would Boston?

• 43:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Definitely not Boston. Romantic up there.

• 43:53SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I don't know.

• 43:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's very, "Je vais vous sucer. Come here. I'll suck your cock"

• 43:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh

• 43:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What is w- wow.

• 44:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bozeman.

• 44:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that in Ohio?

• 44:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Montana

• 44:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or Montana?

• 44:06SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Hell yeah.

• 44:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I don't know. I'm just like trying to name weird places.

• 44:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no.

• 44:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Seattle.

• 44:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They're popular, they're popular cities, and nothing on the West Coast.

• 44:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  That's West Coast cities.

• 44:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Popular cities.

• 44:13SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mount Rushmore.

• 44:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That is not a city.

• 44:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not a city.

• 44:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh.

• 44:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also, I don't know if-

• 44:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's in North Dakota, I believe

• 44:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... And would that be romantic?

• 44:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "Hey, babe. Let's go look at the presidents"

• 44:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  "Let's go look at four old fucking white men carved into stone"

• 44:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um-

• 44:28SCRIBE_speaker_3

  His- history buff. I don't know

• 44:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... uh, Atlanta.

• 44:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. That's a good one. I thought it... Honestly, when I heard, I thought Atlanta would be on there. Atlanta was not on there.

• 44:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is there anything-

• 44:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'll give you one

• 44:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... Is there Georgia?

• 44:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. There is a Texas city on here.

• 44:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There, there's an obv- I would think that there's an obvious one.

• 44:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Houston?

• 44:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 44:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dallas.

• 44:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 44:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Austin.

• 44:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 44:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Austin, Texas.

• 44:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Apparently. Big, big romance scene.

• 44:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 44:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's cute. They got a lot of like spring- twinkly lights in places and stuff like that-

• 45:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 45:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... which is cute.

• 45:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I guess.

• 45:03SCRIBE_speaker_3

  They had a lot of like parks, like floral gardens and stuff, whatever, like bo-

• 45:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Did they-

• 45:08SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... botanicals

• 45:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... Did they have that?

• 45:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I-

• 45:10SCRIBE_speaker_3

  They had-

• 45:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... parks and stuff. I guess it's nice

• 45:12SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... think they had a big botanical garden.

• 45:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, so-

• 45:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Portland?

• 45:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, hold on. Before I... So, um, number three was Austin.

• 45:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow.

• 45:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  200.1 romance related searches per 100,000 people. Uh, the city particularly stood out for date night ideas and romantic weekend trips, showing that Austin's reputation for lively cultural activities and outdoor adventures have preceded it. So it's also taken into account like-

• 45:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay

• 45:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... nature.

• 45:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm going Denver then.

• 45:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 45:37SCRIBE_speaker_3

  That's what I was thinking.

• 45:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What the fuck?

• 45:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. So we're missing two and five.

• 45:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Boulder.

• 45:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 45:43SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Are we going too far west?

• 45:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes.

• 45:45SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Got it.

• 45:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. It's, uh, I, I, I'm, I'm not even-

• 45:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm just gonna name random cities

• 45:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I'm... Well, hold on. Try to use some fucking, like try to use your brain for doing it.

• 45:55SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Absolutely drill them.

• 45:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, Nashville?

• 45:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. Nashville's number two. That is the o- that's one where I was just like, "Huh?" Second place, 201.5 searches. B- best known for its music scene, but research shows it has a lot of soft spot for romance. Combination of live entertainment, nightlife, and southern hospitality makes it a great destination for couples looking to spend quality time together in a laid back but vibrant atmosphere.

• 46:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 46:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I didn't get that at all from my one time going to Nashville.

• 46:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Laid back

• 46:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I wouldn't describe it as laid back in any capacity.

• 46:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, it's, to be fair, I've only been on fucking Broadway.

• 46:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's laid back in the sense of like you've drank enough and then you have fallen backwards.

• 46:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like-

• 46:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I can't-

• 46:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 46:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that place was an amusement park of alcohol.

• 46:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 46:42SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I mean, if you like country music, that place is probably the most romantic place on the planet.

• 46:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 46:46SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I think so. Oh, let's go to Luke Bryan's bar. Like you just, you just name a country singer, let's go to their bar. That's kinda cool.

• 46:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have you guy- have you guys stumbled across the guy on TikTok who just makes songs like sounding like how Luke Bryan's songs sound?

• 47:01SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah. Peanut butter on my butt.

• 47:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Peter butter on my tit.

• 47:04SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah

• 47:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... titan doo doo finger paint. There, or there was one where it was just like, "God gave us fingers and God gave fish wieners" "Now what are we supposed to do? We go to the park, jack them off"

• 47:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Peanut butter on my tit.

• 47:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it's all like dubbed over like Luke Bryan like- ... doing like an awkward shimmy on a stage.

• 47:29SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 47:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, okay.

• 47:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right. So there's one more city that legitimately blew me away.

• 47:36SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Orlando.

• 47:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 47:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is that warm?

• 47:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is Orlando warm? It's in Florida.

• 47:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, no. Is that close to where the city is?

• 47:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's closer than any other city you've named. Yes, it's close.

• 47:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Miami.

• 47:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 47:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It can't be Miami.

• 47:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can't be Miami.

• 47:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I mean-

• 47:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, let's go for out for a night on, of romance at fucking Eleven.

• 47:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  On Ocean Drive.

• 47:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 47:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um-

• 47:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's go see the brightest neon lights you've ever fucking seen in your life.

• 48:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is it? Is it, is it, uh, Charleston?

• 48:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. That would've been... I thought it would've been like a Savannah-

• 48:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah

• 48:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... or a Charleston where it's like just kinda, you know, like a little slower. Uh-

• 48:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is it, am I, are we northeast?

• 48:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. Nothing in the northeast outside of New York.

• 48:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Well, you said Florida was warm.

• 48:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Baton Rouge.

• 48:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. I've never been.

• 48:27SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I thought that was in Europe.

• 48:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Baton Rouge.

• 48:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

• 48:30SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Sounds European.

• 48:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, I think, well, it is French.

• 48:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Baton Lounge. Um- So it's a little-

• 48:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- you're-

• 48:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Midwest-y?

• 48:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No.

• 48:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Where is it?

• 48:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's ... All right. L- l- you might get here better if I just told you think-

• 48:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Louisville

• 48:46SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... the least romantic places you could think of. This would've been on my, like, if I would never-

• 48:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Newark, New Jersey.

• 48:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No. Hey. Well, I mean, that's fair.

• 48:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 48:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But no, 'cause people like that close to a major city are just gonna go to New York for romance.

• 49:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay. Um-

• 49:03SCRIBE_speaker_3

  The l- least romantic place you can think of.

• 49:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  DC?

• 49:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 49:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're just, you're spinning your wheels here. Do you want me to just help you?

• 49:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Virginia.

• 49:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Duval.

• 49:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jacksonville? Jacksonville, Florida?

• 49:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Apparently. Yo, if you had told me to name the five most non-romantic places on the planet- ... four of them would've been Jacksonville.

• 49:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ja- Jacksonville is a ... Okay. I mean, I've never been there.

• 49:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, so I have family there, and I remember a very different Jacksonville. So it says that the only Florida city to make the top five records 187.9 searches per 100,000 residents thanks to its waterfront restaurants, outdoor spaces, and stunning coastlines. The city boasts strong interest in romantic attractions and sunset cruises in particular.

• 49:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Maybe ... I mean, I've never been to Jacksonville, but it didn't strike me as that, but maybe it is. I mean, the pictures we're seeing on Google here.

• 50:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  If I were to ask you-

• 50:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh, that looks pretty.

• 50:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It does.

• 50:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That does look pretty. That doesn't look like that's Jacksonville. That's a, I mean, that's a fountain. Someone took a picture from the point of view of a fountain.

• 50:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Fountains are romantic.

• 50:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You ever see when people get on TikTok and they're filming like they're in Bali or something, and they're like-

• 50:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  "This ain't Newark, New Jersey"

• 50:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... "Sunnyside Queens."

• 50:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 50:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or just be like, "Oh my God-

• 50:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo-

• 50:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... Sunnyside Queen."

• 50:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Have you seen the, I th- I think it's, um, it's like a temple in New Jersey.

• 50:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Temple?

• 50:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's like a, a, it's ... I, I don't want to offend the religion, but like, it's like a temple. Look up crazy looking temple in New Jersey. I swear to God this is a real thing.

• 50:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like a Jewish, like a-

• 50:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It, it, I don't think it's a-

• 50:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... synagogue?

• 50:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I don't think it's a synagogue. It is a, a religious ...

• 50:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You just typed up crazy temple in New Jersey.

• 50:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. Dude, I think that's it, that first one.

• 50:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What the fuck is that?

• 50:52SCRIBE_speaker_3

  In New Jersey? All right.

• 50:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think ... Yo, I'm not kidding. Yeah. Yo, that's in, like, fucking, like, a F-

• 50:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, it's Hindu.

• 50:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's, like, above Camden.

• 51:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  $96 million Hindu temple.

• 51:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude.

• 51:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's in-

• 51:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, people-

• 51:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Am I-

• 51:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, I saw that- ... I was just like, "Okay"

• 51:08SCRIBE_speaker_3

  The headline says, "Opens amid accusations of forced labor." What's going on?

• 51:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, I can't speak to that, but like-

• 51:14SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Whoa

• 51:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... that's, like, in New Jersey.

• 51:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Wow. Robbinsville.

• 51:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 51:18SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Second largest in the world.

• 51:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wow, this looks very pretty.

• 51:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It does. It looks beautiful.

• 51:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I had no idea there was a giant Hindu pop-

• 51:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But just like-

• 51:24SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... population

• 51:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I, I mean, I guess, but like, it's just funny because, like, what you're saying where it'll be, like, the Amalfi Coast, and it'll be like, "This ain't fucking Woodhaven."

• 51:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know? And then it's just this.

• 51:35SCRIBE_speaker_3

  The scale of this is gigantic.

• 51:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's why it's, like, insane that it actually exists in, of all places, New Jersey.

• 51:43SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Elephants are so sick.

• 51:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love elephants, dude. But yeah, dude, Jacksonville, Florida is one of the mo- five most romantic cities in the country.

• 51:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's wild.

• 51:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How-

• 51:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So, so we're going to Jacksonville, us three?

• 51:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  To do what?

• 51:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Go on-

• 51:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  On a date?

• 52:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, let's go f- find out why.

• 52:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, w-

• 52:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Let's go f-

• 52:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's find out.

• 52:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Let's go find out why.

• 52:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Who knows? Let's go.

• 52:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Who knows?

• 52:06SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Who's telling? What could happen?

• 52:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I, I mean, I, I would ... I always just thought it was just, like, high humidity and Marlboro Reds down there.

• 52:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And the Jaguars, baby.

• 52:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 52:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, we do have some more sponsors. Uh, we have DoorDash, okay? You guys know DoorDash. DoorDash, you get on the app, you can pretty much get whatever you want. You can get something from a convenience store, you can order some food, whatever you kinda need there. But a lot of people don't realize that you can also use DoorDash to be a good friend, all right? This is, like, a social aspect to this as well. Something I like to do with DoorDash, sometimes you know your friend is either studying for a big test or, you know, they just, uh, you know, something

• 52:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

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• 53:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

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• 54:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

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• 54:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Cash App- A- a, if you use the code CASHAPP10 in your profile at sign-up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days, terms apply. But, uh, yeah, that's for new Cash App customers. Uh, if y- you can earn $10 by using the code CASHAPP10, uh, when you sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. So go check that out. Go download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Um, visit the link in the bio. Uh,

• 55:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

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• 55:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can you say blue glue gun five times fast? Blue glue g- wh- No, I can't. I can't

• 55:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We, we did a video. We did... Didn't we do a video doing that? Blue glue gun, blue glue gun, blue glue gun, blue glue gun, blue glue gun, blue glue gun. I d- I think I did okay. It became a glun.

• 56:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's like 72%. Um- Blue glue glun

• 56:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ant, you had a thing about pizza.

• 56:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I did. If you want, if you guys were getting hungry-

• 56:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I am very hungy tongues right now.

• 56:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So it is a... Oh. Hungy tongues.

• 56:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. What's wrong with that? Oh.

• 56:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Honky tonk.

• 56:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I wouldn't say honky tonk.

• 56:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Spend $6 on these pizzas.

• 56:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean-

• 56:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right off the rip-

• 56:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hold on

• 56:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... cheese at $1 is a steal.

• 56:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- duh. Wait, is pickle pizza a p- like, is that something that actually is eaten?

• 56:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, no, I-

• 56:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love pickles, don't get me wrong, but, like, is that, like, something people order now?

• 56:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I've never heard of that in my life.

• 56:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also, truffle mushroom at two? That's crazy. Well, are they using truffle oil or are they using real truffs?

• 56:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't know if I would want a whole mushroom pizza.

• 56:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I like mushrooms.

• 56:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I do too, but not like that.

• 56:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I like mushrooms quite a bit. I a-

• 56:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Low-key, a veggie pie, I'm into. I, I mean, I, I don't- I like it

• 57:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I don't dislike it.

• 57:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It just makes it, you feel full.

• 57:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The only one on here that, like, I kid you not, if I was, like, with someone and they were like, "Let's get a pie," and they asked for Hawaiian, I am rearing back and I am fucking, like, l- jumping out the nearest window. Dude, Hawaiian pizza, we will be those people. It is not... It's fucking garbage, dude.

• 57:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I've never had it, but I'll also say a mac and cheese pie, I'd be like, "What the hell are we doing?"

• 57:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's a lot, dude.

• 57:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What are we doing here? A mac and cheese pie.

• 57:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What was, like, the most... I know you, you, you used to do barbecue chicken, but, like, what was the most, like, like, over-the-top pizza that you would have?

• 57:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A chicken bacon ranch.

• 57:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hell yeah.

• 57:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Keith used to get that.

• 57:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hell yeah, brother.

• 57:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a classic one.

• 57:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I was a big-

• 57:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's, like, a lot, though. Like, I could eat, like, one slice of that. I can never eat two.

• 57:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I was a big pene slice guy.

• 57:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Dude, used to rip pene slices.

• 57:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude, pen- the, the portobello pene slices, this thing was like... It weighed six pounds.

• 57:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  My order was always a pene slice and a chicken roll.

• 58:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I- see, I would always do a pene slice and a rice ball.

• 58:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Okay.

• 58:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Good rice.

• 58:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You seem like pepperoni bites kind of guy.

• 58:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What's pepperoni bites?

• 58:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What's that? Wait, wait, why do you say that, like, disrespectfully?

• 58:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think it was disrespectful. I think it's bites.

• 58:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love-

• 58:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's bites

• 58:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I imagine he's talking, like, a pizza pocket.

• 58:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They're like-

• 58:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that what you're talking about?

• 58:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's kind of like a garlic knot, but it's pepperoni. It's like, it's, it's a thing.

• 58:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, I haven't had that, but I'm in.

• 58:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, like a pinwheel. Yeah, but it's smaller, even.

• 58:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I am still on my journey to find the world's perfect garlic knot. I thought I had found it. I brought this up recently, but I'm open to suggestions.

• 58:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're gonna be garlic, the garlic knot guy?

• 58:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love garlic knots, dude.

• 58:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Really?

• 58:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I love, like, the, the p- portobello-

• 58:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What percent of garlic knots do you think are good?

• 58:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ooh, um-

• 58:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think it's that high

• 58:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... 12%.

• 58:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, wow. Ooh, that's lower than I thought it was gonna be.

• 58:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I've had bad garlic knot. Because it is such a fine line.

• 58:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 58:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Such a fine line. Like, it needs to be the perfect amount of garlic. It can't be too doughy. It needs to be a little crispy, crunchy. Portobellos, they set the standard, and I've n- yet to find the perfect one.

• 59:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Those were good ones. Sometimes you get garlic knots and you're like, "This is a dry freak show."

• 59:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I used to get... There was a place I used to get up in Connecticut that, like, they would do garlic knots, but, like, they would do them in a pan covered in sauce and baked with cheese on top. Which I don't hate, but, like, I didn't want that.

• 59:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, now we're getting soup?

• 59:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- a, a f- soup, brother. You are getting basically a, just, like, a deep dish pizza.

• 59:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Which I didn't want.

• 59:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, I'm here for the knots. I want a side, but you're making it a, a full.

• 59:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, God, so good. So if I gotta spend $6 here... Also, loaded tots? That looks-

• 59:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What does that even mean? I don't know, but it feels good. It feels good?

• 59:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, think of, think of loaded tots. You got tater tots, you got bacon, chives-

• 59:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Eh

• 59:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... cheddar, sour cream.

• 59:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No chicken bacon ranch on here is kinda wild. Yeah, that is.

• 59:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It, it would be a four, though. I mean, you got a Buffalo chicken up there, which is huge.

• 59:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also-

• 59:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And you got a barbecue chicken, which is low-key great, dude.

• 59:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Meatlovers is crazy high, too, by the way.

• 59:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 59:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, I guess you're paying $4 'cause you've got, uh, the whole-

• 1:00:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  10 pounds of meat on it.

• 1:00:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. If you put it any lower, just price value, you gotta go meatlovers. Yeah. I mean, I'm going one... I'm going cheese-

• 1:00:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Duh

• 1:00:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... pepperoni, yeah. And now I have $3, so I'll probably-

• 1:00:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You'll go buffy chicks.

• 1:00:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'll, I would either do barbecue chicken or deluxe.

• 1:00:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo, deluxe is too much, dude. 'Cause deluxe is everything, all of it, all of right now.

• 1:00:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That was a great movie. Um, I... But that's what kind of what I like about it, is that, like, you can eat one and you pr- you'd be pretty satisfied. I mean, I would not only eat one, but, like-

• 1:00:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I can't... Becca's, uh, parents do, like, deluxe. It has, like, everything on it.

• 1:00:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And it's just like you lose, you... It's no longer pizza.

• 1:00:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's everything.

• 1:00:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's just everything. So, like, you're eating more of the toppings than you are... Like, I feel like it needs to be a good balance. Honestly, I'm super cool with doing Buffalo chicken and pepperoni. I'm fine. I love pepperoni. I'm such a simple little boy.

• 1:00:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But you're a Buffalo chicken guy?

• 1:00:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Buffalo chicken is unreal.

• 1:00:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It looks like it's- It's good ... looks like it's drizzled with a little bit of blue cheese.

• 1:01:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Of course it is. Blue is, blue is the way.

• 1:01:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  All the self-respected ones are.

• 1:01:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What would you do?

• 1:01:08SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Me? I think bar- you gotta go three pizzas here. I feel like getting two, you're wasting your money. So-

• 1:01:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's $6.

• 1:01:16SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, but you only-

• 1:01:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You're getting a deal no matter what you fucking get

• 1:01:17SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... yep, you only got two pies. Also-

• 1:01:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A, a pie now is, like, 30 bucks.

• 1:01:21SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Buffalo chicken pie will get up there. I would say barbecue chicken, give me loaded tots, and a cheese. I don't know what loaded tots is, but I'm willing to try. I'm not a fan of pepperoni.

• 1:01:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ah.

• 1:01:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really? You're not a pepperoni guy?

• 1:01:31SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No.

• 1:01:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Interesting. I love when they're little pepperonis and they're, like, curled up-

• 1:01:35SCRIBE_speaker_3

  So-

• 1:01:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... so they become little balls

• 1:01:36SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... those I like.

• 1:01:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know what I mean?

• 1:01:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's pepperoni.

• 1:01:38SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, but it's not though.

• 1:01:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That is though.

• 1:01:40SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's a different thing.

• 1:01:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like a thick cut, like, little cup?

• 1:01:44SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Y- you know, you know, like, the little, tiny, the little tiny ones?

• 1:01:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:46SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, that one's good.

• 1:01:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They, like, curl up.

• 1:01:47SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, that one's good.

• 1:01:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, God, I love pepperoni, dude.

• 1:01:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. I saw this, a video one time of this place. They, like, had a bunch of pepperoni, and they bake it, like, in the oven, and then they take it out, and there's, like, a bunch of juice obviously.

• 1:02:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The oil

• 1:02:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and they put that into a, uh, like a plastic squirt bottle with some sauce or whatever, and they mix it up.

• 1:02:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hell yeah.

• 1:02:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And they put mad pepperoni, and then they put that on top. I'm like-

• 1:02:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hell yeah, dude

• 1:02:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... absolutely, heart's going to absolutely-

• 1:02:17SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah

• 1:02:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... cease to exist, but that's, that's a great pie.

• 1:02:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But, like, that's when you get a slice. If you get a pie of that-

• 1:02:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's a wrap

• 1:02:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you're basically... What do you think that is calorie-wise? A pie, a, a, a standard 18-inch...

• 1:02:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not good.

• 1:02:29SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm.

• 1:02:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fucking 5,000.

• 1:02:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It might not even be the calories. It might just be, like, what it is.

• 1:02:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, just, like, the saturated fat content?

• 1:02:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, you might as well just, like, put your lips around the fucking exhaust of your car and rev the engine.

• 1:02:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, that would...

• 1:02:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Also, I'm not against going, uh, veggie pepperoni barbecue chicken because as long as there's some of the stuff going on there, like the, uh...

• 1:02:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I like a pie that has a lot of different things on it.

• 1:02:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Really?

• 1:02:54SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Also, if you're gonna get two pies, do barbecue chicken and deluxe.

• 1:02:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm just, see, it's-

• 1:02:58SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's just a better value.

• 1:03:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, uh, I guess, but, like, I just, I, I like the taste of Buffalo chicken. I like the little spice, hence why I like the pepperoni.

• 1:03:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't hate the Bu- Buffalo chicken.

• 1:03:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's, it's got a little, like... It's not spicy, but it's got a little, like... It's, it's flirting with spice.

• 1:03:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know? It's in the name, pepper.

• 1:03:18SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Hawaiian in the three, what's that about?

• 1:03:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's bananas. No one's taking that.

• 1:03:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm telling you right now, Hawaiian doesn't deserve its place in- ... like... They should, there should be a fake pizza place that, like, when they take orders, they say, like, "All right, I'll get a Hawaiian pie." Like, "All right, we'll be right there," and then they just egg their house.

• 1:03:33SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I need to try a Hawaiian slice just to see what all the hype is not about.

• 1:03:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Can I build a pizza for you quick?

• 1:03:38SCRIBE_speaker_3

  What about this?

• 1:03:40SCRIBE_speaker_0

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop because the weather is shifting, and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in-store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 1:04:10SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Bacon, pineapple, jalapenos. What about that? So you get-

• 1:04:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You lost me at the pineapple.

• 1:04:15SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No, but you get spice, and you get the sweet-

• 1:04:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You lo- no, n- you lost me-

• 1:04:18SCRIBE_speaker_3

  ... and the salty

• 1:04:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I don't like cooked fruit. We just did a whole-

• 1:04:20SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh my God

• 1:04:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... episode where people yelled at me 'cause I kept saying how much I hate fruit.

• 1:04:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  What if it's, what if it's not cooked? You just throw pineapples on.

• 1:04:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like a, like a hot, like a cold...

• 1:04:26SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 1:04:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm cool with, like, a... Ooh, there was the place at, at the old studio that did, like, they drizzled, like, hot honey on it. Now we're talking. Like a s- like a, like a spicy pepperoni, like a super spicy pepperoni-

• 1:04:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ooh

• 1:04:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... but hot honey.

• 1:04:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I like the spicy soppressata pizzas.

• 1:04:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:04:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm into that. You know what I do also like?

• 1:04:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  White?

• 1:04:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. I don't, I don't mind white.

• 1:04:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's all right.

• 1:04:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But- ... I've had a, a bruschetta piece where it was just, like, loaded with bruschetta.

• 1:04:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bruschetta?

• 1:04:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:04:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is that again?

• 1:05:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's tomatoes, garlic, onion-

• 1:05:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I thought it, it, like-

• 1:05:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... oil and vinegar

• 1:05:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... seems like it's just tomatoes.

• 1:05:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, I mean, it's mostly tomatoes.

• 1:05:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bruschetta? Yeah, it's, like, tomatoes and, like-

• 1:05:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There's cheese in there, too. Oh, yeah. But, like, that on top of pizza...

• 1:05:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yo, balsamic glaze-

• 1:05:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 1:05:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... I w- I, like, love it.

• 1:05:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:05:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love that shit.

• 1:05:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude.

• 1:05:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love balsamic glaze.

• 1:05:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I sent a picture to Dylan the other day. I, for, like, breakfast, I had Becca's sourdough toast with sh- she's been growing fucking tomatoes out of the garden, and they've been incredible, sliced on top of there with some shaved Gouda cheese and balsamic glaze.

• 1:05:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ugh.

• 1:05:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude.

• 1:05:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Balsamic glaze.

• 1:05:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It fucking punched me in the mouth, kissed me back in the mouth, and then punched me in the ass.

• 1:05:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's good. I, I love balsamic glaze, dude. If I could, like, submerge my body into something, it would be that I think.

• 1:05:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's gotta be good for you, right?

• 1:05:59SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No.

• 1:06:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Any glaze. Anything that tastes that good is no sugar.

• 1:06:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's not. It's a lot of sugar. Uh, medium take, bruschetta sucks.

• 1:06:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  One, one of the worst things you've ever said.

• 1:06:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I...

• 1:06:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  It's not a hot take

• 1:06:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... it doesn't suck, but you can fuck it up if the cracker is impossible to bite. I hate when, that they put it on the hardest cr- like, pieces of bread.

• 1:06:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know what to say to either of you guys right now.

• 1:06:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You like that? I like bruschetta. I just don't like when they, they put it on this stale ass piece of bread.

• 1:06:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm not saying stale, but, like, if it's a piece of, like, melba toast, I'm in.

• 1:06:31SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't even know what that is.

• 1:06:32SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Don't know what that is.

• 1:06:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Melba toast. It's like, it's, like, the little, like, crackers that you find in, like, trail mix.

• 1:06:38SCRIBE_speaker_3

  If you have to make up different toast for this to taste good, that's not-

• 1:06:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no, but I'm saying, like, if it's, like, the perfect biteable size and it's crunchy on top of everything that you get, you know melba toast, dude.

• 1:06:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, no. See, this is the kinda shit I don't enjoy.

• 1:06:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Get the fuck outta here.

• 1:06:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I'd rather it be, like, an actual piece of bread, not this, like, fake bread. This is, like, you know.

• 1:06:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, it's a cracker.

• 1:06:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Eh.

• 1:06:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You want it... Wait, so you just want it on, like, a piece of fucking white bread?

• 1:07:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, no, no, no. I want it to be on, like, the little pieces of bread that are like this.

• 1:07:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They, like, cut the-

• 1:07:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like a, like a baguette

• 1:07:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... like a baguette that they cut at an angle or something.

• 1:07:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's like... Yeah, and that's, like, a little toasted, but not, like, hard like I'm eating, like, a dry cracker.

• 1:07:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, man, I love it when it's crunchy on a dry cracker.

• 1:07:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But then I take a bite, everything goes everywhere. There's tomato all over the ground.

• 1:07:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, if it's the perfect bite size, you can fit the whole thing in your mouth. Open your mouth.

• 1:07:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, I'm not going f- full bruschetta in my shit.

• 1:07:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Why not?

• 1:07:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Because you need to take two bites out of it. I mean, at least.

• 1:07:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I so disagree with that, dude.

• 1:07:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If it's stacked with shit, I still... But, like, if you... If it's just the perfect amount of it. Like, look, look.

• 1:07:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Perfect.

• 1:07:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know what, what also I'm a big fan of? When people have a dish out and it's just, like, a fresh-

• 1:07:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-hmm

• 1:07:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... fucking freezing cold tomato, and then a piece of, uh, of, uh, mozzarella cheese, and then you get the balsamic.

• 1:07:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh my goodness.

• 1:07:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, yeah. And then you throw a little fucking prosciutto on there.

• 1:07:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yep.

• 1:07:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I'm talking.

• 1:07:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yes.

• 1:07:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know I'm talking. Have you had prosciutto on pizza? Like a fig, uh-

• 1:07:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hell yeah

• 1:07:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... like a fig glazed-

• 1:08:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yo, fig jam-

• 1:08:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... arugula

• 1:08:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... fig jam's fucking crazy.

• 1:08:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:08:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I... God bless the person who found that out. The Neanderthal that invented that.

• 1:08:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don- I think it was a little later.

• 1:08:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Probably.

• 1:08:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They weren't fucking with figs.

• 1:08:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Probably not.

• 1:08:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They were just hoping they didn't get mauled to death.

• 1:08:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a... It was a tough time. Um, but fig jam, my God, unbelievable.

• 1:08:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:08:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love that stuff.

• 1:08:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm in on fig jam. I'm in.

• 1:08:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm, I'm clearing out the fig jam. I'm putting my finger in the little glass jar.

• 1:08:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, you're licking it?

• 1:08:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If it's at the end, yeah.

• 1:08:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm telling you right now, there's like the... I don't know what brand it is, but it comes and it, like... It looks like it has, like, folded paper on top of it. And it's like, I'm in, dude. When they make it look like it's like-

• 1:08:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh

• 1:08:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... by, like, a pioneer woman.

• 1:08:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it looks like... It, the... It's just like... Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

• 1:08:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know exactly what I'm talking about.

• 1:08:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's got a little dress on.

• 1:08:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes. It's got, like, got all dressed up for daddy's mouth.

• 1:08:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Oh.

• 1:08:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fig jam.

• 1:08:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I know. I, I gotcha.

• 1:08:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's great. Fig jam.

• 1:08:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fig jam. Jam it in your mouth.

• 1:08:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's a great tagline.

• 1:08:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fig jam, jam it in your mouth.

• 1:08:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's, that's not... I, I mean, that's not great. It's definitely, like, risque. It's out there. You would have to, like, sell the board.

• 1:09:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, but I think that, like, that's what everyone's doing now. Like, d- fucking Tom Brady's just like, "Here, have some of my good nuts." So, like-

• 1:09:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's wicked

• 1:09:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... Santagato Studios Fig Jam company, where it's just like, "Jam this in your hole."

• 1:09:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jam... Jam this in your ass.

• 1:09:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, but see, if you specify ass, then you've narrowed down to a very specific-

• 1:09:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's a legality problem

• 1:09:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... market, yeah.

• 1:09:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You could get sued if people do it.

• 1:09:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fig... What would we call it?

• 1:09:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Jam.

• 1:09:32SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Figg- figgy time.

• 1:09:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Fig... Well, figgy time, jam it in your mouth.

• 1:09:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Figgy time, jam this in your hole.

• 1:09:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Can-

• 1:09:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Hole jam.

• 1:09:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:09:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fig jam-

• 1:09:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But we spell it like hole. Like, like a-

• 1:09:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm just gonna do fig jam.

• 1:09:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, like hole jam. Like-

• 1:09:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, you spell it like the hole of something.

• 1:09:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, like W. Like, so it's like, oh, the... It's like a whole... Like, it's a hole jam.

• 1:09:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or if we get, like, silly with it, like-

• 1:09:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like Whole Foods

• 1:09:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... Pump Up the Jam, and it's just like... You remember that song?

• 1:10:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, that's the-

• 1:10:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pump up the jam

• 1:10:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... that's the song we use in the commercial.

• 1:10:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, okay. I'm sure... No, that has never happened before.

• 1:10:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's happened.

• 1:10:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know, pump up the jam, pump it up while your feet are stomping.

• 1:10:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  How do you feel about, like, strawberry jam or grape jam, whatever, that's in the plastic squirt bottles?

• 1:10:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm fine with it.

• 1:10:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Really? I despise it.

• 1:10:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I do like the sound. It's like an A- ASMR sound of, like, the f- the fucking-

• 1:10:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The knife

• 1:10:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... butter knife hitting the glass.

• 1:10:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  But then I got this, like... It's like I'm making a fucking, a fucking peanut butter and jelly and this thing's queefing all over me. I don't need this thing.

• 1:10:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I like it, but, like, I don't like when I, like, let go and it, like, it sucks back in.

• 1:10:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, it's butthole, like I don't like-

• 1:10:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That, I don't like when it, like, re-sucks in its own jelly.

• 1:10:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I don't like that shit at all. Also, ketchup. Figure it out.

• 1:10:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's a little wet.

• 1:10:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is that? Even when I shake it sometimes, it's like it's still got a little pee. I'm like, "Bro, come on."

• 1:10:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think, um, ketchup, it's... The hole for the ketchup opening on a ketchup bottle is too big. We need to go back to the older, like, more, like, narrow squirt bottles.

• 1:11:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What?

• 1:11:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, when you have, like, a thing of Heinz ketchup.

• 1:11:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:11:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The hole that this ketchup squirts out of.

• 1:11:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:11:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Also, make it universal. Are you having the rubber around this hole, or are you just gonna not? Because sometimes I think there's rubber and I go like that, and there's ketchup everywhere, and then sometimes I do a little one and I have to, like, squeeze until I'm shaking. You know what I'm talking about?

• 1:11:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:11:24SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I'm talking about.

• 1:11:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I only really use the squirt ones these days.

• 1:11:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But the squirt ones, some of them are, like, bigger mouths and they don't have any, like, sealant, like rubber sealant on the inside.

• 1:11:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 1:11:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And then there are other ones that do have that.

• 1:11:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 1:11:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They need to make it universal.

• 1:11:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I use the one that, like, has the, like, you gotta-

• 1:11:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Has the seal

• 1:11:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... press it. But it does come out fast.

• 1:11:44SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm just saying, like, that hole, whether it be on the sealing one or the non-sealing one, too big.

• 1:11:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:11:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Go a little, go a little, a little smaller.

• 1:11:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, the one that I usually get, like, you have to, like, really press it for the ketchup to come out, and this thing's coming out violently, like mad quick.

• 1:11:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I... Listen, I know I'm gonna upset you here. I do think that design-wise and bottle-wise, we peaked at the easy squirt green and purple.

• 1:12:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's the same bottle.

• 1:12:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, it's not. It's got, like, the twist top and it's a smaller hole at the top.

• 1:12:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Twist top? Um, well, the one that I buy is twist top.

• 1:12:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 1:12:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:12:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So you... It's twist top and it has rubber on it?

• 1:12:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Wait, what twist top? What do you mean by that?

• 1:12:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Where, like, it's like you, like, take it and you twist it like that, and it kinda, like, opens up-

• 1:12:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, no

• 1:12:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... and then, like, the little, like, nipple in the bottom, like, sinks down.

• 1:12:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, no. Like a sports drink? No.

• 1:12:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like a sriracha? Yes, exactly. Sriracha bottles. Pretty cool.

• 1:12:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right, right, right.

• 1:12:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Great pull.

• 1:12:35SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Sriracha. I don't like those 'cause they always get so, like, there's, like, smegma on the top of them.

• 1:12:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, there is.

• 1:12:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, that's bad.

• 1:12:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There is.

• 1:12:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh my God.

• 1:12:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know, it's like it always get... Like, there's certain bottles where you're like, "Bro." I just pull back a little bit and wipe it off.

• 1:12:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, like, that happens whenever I have, like, Frank's RedHot bottles.

• 1:12:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pull it back a bit and wipe it off.

• 1:12:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. I, I-

• 1:12:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We know who's, who's not circumcised.

• 1:12:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, we know what you got going on.

• 1:12:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, I'm chopped.

• 1:12:58SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're rolling with a full-

• 1:12:59SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm chopped.

• 1:13:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're chopped?

• 1:13:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm chopped, yeah.

• 1:13:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah?

• 1:13:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  On, in the pants Where else would you have been chopped?

• 1:13:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Would've been chopped, I don't know.

• 1:13:06SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Chopped is also a thing for like-

• 1:13:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh yeah, you're ugly?

• 1:13:07SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, I'm not doing that.

• 1:13:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:13:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, chopped used to be high.

• 1:13:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm so chopped.

• 1:13:10SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 1:13:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Chopped used to be high.

• 1:13:13SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Back in our day, it was like when you were chopped, you were zooted. You were sauced.

• 1:13:18SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Sauced is drink, drunk.

• 1:13:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, tomato, potato.

• 1:13:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 1:13:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Either way, I encourage my ketchup to pee first. Pss. And then I-

• 1:13:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, just sh- one of these

• 1:13:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... yeah, sometimes it doesn't work.

• 1:13:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I also get... I don't know about you guys, but I get unnecessarily angry when I go to, like, put ketchup on my plate and the thing hasn't been opened yet. I'm like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me." Like, it's like the most complicated thing in the world.

• 1:13:41SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I get so angry, where I'm like, "How is this not open?"

• 1:13:44SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I got more angry 'cause I just got, like, mayo, and I opened it before I tried, and it was already open. So it's like, that one doesn't have the top on it.

• 1:13:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'd prefer it be not open. Like, I'd prefer that, like, I'm the first one to crack it so I know the usage of this ketchup that I am using. And I'm not even saying at home. I, I've also been to, like, parties where it's just like, they-

• 1:14:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You don't trust it

• 1:14:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... I was the first one. Yeah. I, I just... I would rather that be the case.

• 1:14:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I, yeah, I mean, I get... That makes sense. But I, I don't know why, I just am like, "Oh my God."

• 1:14:15SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yes, sir.

• 1:14:15SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Does that make sense?

• 1:14:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That he would rather be... He feels safest-

• 1:14:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Being the first-

• 1:14:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... if he knows that, like, he's the first one.

• 1:14:21SCRIBE_speaker_3

  What do you think people put in there?

• 1:14:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know, but I just would rather feel safe. 'Cause also there are people that, like, will take a ketchup and they'll, like, get a little too close to whatever they're putting it on, and it'll get, like, some of the residue on the top.

• 1:14:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh my God, who are these people?

• 1:14:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Psychopaths. Criminals.

• 1:14:36SCRIBE_speaker_3

  No.

• 1:14:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Bad people.

• 1:14:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm like that with water fountains. I'm like, "Who put their fucking ass and mouth on this thing?"

• 1:14:42SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah.

• 1:14:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Dude, a good water fountain.

• 1:14:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Huh?

• 1:14:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They don't make them like they used to. Remember when water fountains used to have, like, different tips? Like, by us, they were like rocket shaped tip.

• 1:14:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah. Eh.

• 1:14:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They were good.

• 1:14:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:14:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And then you could put your finger on it and squirt it. So like, if you didn't want to get your mouth too close to the thing, you can squirt it so it would squirt into your mouth.

• 1:15:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  So it would get... It would, it would be whatever this... Whatever's it's kicking up from the spout, and then your dirty finger as well.

• 1:15:11SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Mm.

• 1:15:12SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Double whammy.

• 1:15:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know, now that you said it, I just-

• 1:15:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Also, the next time you go, definitely dirty. You're putting your fingers all over it.

• 1:15:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:15:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like a park water fountain... I've dranken from the water fountain at the park a lot growing up.

• 1:15:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Brother, park water fountains was the most delicious water I've ever had in my entire life.

• 1:15:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And it tasted like the street. Because literally I can taste a hubcap.

• 1:15:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It tasted like a water balloon. Like, that's what I remember it tasting like. Like-

• 1:15:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And like metal, metallic water balloons.

• 1:15:39SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah. But it's okay.

• 1:15:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It tasted like armor.

• 1:15:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It's okay. I mean, I think by the time we got around to it, most of the lead was out of the water.

• 1:15:45SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, I think I was tasting the lead.

• 1:15:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You got a little lead?

• 1:15:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A little?

• 1:15:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  A little.

• 1:15:50SCRIBE_speaker_2

  A lot of lead.

• 1:15:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I, I... Yeah, it, it, I, it felt like I was drinking-

• 1:15:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Like barium?

• 1:15:55SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... lithium. I don't know. What's the shit in the... Mercury.

• 1:16:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I-

• 1:16:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  In thermometers?

• 1:16:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, that's it.

• 1:16:02SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How, how does that work?

• 1:16:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Uh, at room temperature, it's-

• 1:16:07SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But like, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:16:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I don't know. You're asking... You, you... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 1:16:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I'm asking you about thermometers.

• 1:16:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  After everything we've talked about-

• 1:16:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah

• 1:16:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... you think I'll be able to provide insight on how mercury in a thermometer works?

• 1:16:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How'd they figure that out, man?

• 1:16:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't know, man.

• 1:16:21SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Also-

• 1:16:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What?

• 1:16:22SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I was just debating like, "Man, it's not worth it."

• 1:16:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Y- you know what I think about? Like back in the day, the thermometers, how they just were like they had the mercury in them, and you would just put that in your mouth.

• 1:16:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:16:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That was my-

• 1:16:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They, they had glass thermometers that they would put in a kid's mouth and be like-

• 1:16:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Or-

• 1:16:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... "Let's see how you're doing"

• 1:16:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you ever-

• 1:16:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or downstairs

• 1:16:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you ever-

• 1:16:40SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Have I ever done that?

• 1:16:41SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's still a thing.

• 1:16:42SCRIBE_speaker_3

  You ever get a thermometer in your butt?

• 1:16:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I'm, I'm sure I did when I was a baby.

• 1:16:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't... I, I'm sure I did when I was a baby too, and not as an active adult.

• 1:16:48SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Is that something you have to do when they're a baby? You're like...

• 1:16:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I think it's just easier to get a more accurate reading from there.

• 1:16:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Right.

• 1:16:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know?

• 1:16:54SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, but now they do the ear, right?

• 1:16:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, they have, like, the, the guns now. It's like you're scanning them like they're bananas or something.

• 1:17:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo, when that fucking doctor would put that metal, that plastic thing and, like, shoot it off in my ear. You know what I'm talking about?

• 1:17:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:17:07SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:17:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You know what I'm talking about, right?

• 1:17:09SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Kinda, sorta.

• 1:17:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yo, that shit was-

• 1:17:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Shoot what?

• 1:17:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  It was like they would take a gun, they'd go and get, like, a reusable ear thing, and then they'd fucking, like, cock it and put it in my ear, and then, like, press something, and it felt like they were shooting my ear.

• 1:17:20SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I s- I, I know the thing that has, like, a light on it. They, like, look in your ear.

• 1:17:22SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, but, like, the doctor one was not that small and cute and quaint.

• 1:17:26SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh.

• 1:17:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  This thing had a fucking, like, tether. It was tethered to the wall. This thing was brolic.

• 1:17:33SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I thought it was like he would just, like, look with, like, light. I didn't... I was getting shot in my ear with shit.

• 1:17:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know what I was getting shot with, but that shit was, like, basically, like, it felt like it was cocking back a Desert Eagle in my ear.

• 1:17:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Whoa. I felt that way about the fucking eye test. Pff. I hate that.

• 1:17:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Wait, what eye test?

• 1:17:51SCRIBE_speaker_3

  When they, like, puff the, the air in your eye.

• 1:17:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh, I don't remember that.

• 1:17:55SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Yeah, I hated that part.

• 1:17:56SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You know, you... When was the last time you got an eye exam?

• 1:17:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, a couple years ago.

• 1:17:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  They didn't do the pff?

• 1:18:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't remember that.

• 1:18:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's for, like, glaucoma.

• 1:18:03SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't remember that, no.

• 1:18:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 1:18:05SCRIBE_speaker_3

  When, when I needed my new prescription.

• 1:18:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You never seen the thing where it's like you look down and it looks like a, a hot air balloon? And it would be, like, out of focus and then in focus, and then it hits you with a puff.

• 1:18:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm-mm. I don't remember that.

• 1:18:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh.

• 1:18:14SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I remember that giant fucking thing they put in my eye where they're like-

• 1:18:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  One or two

• 1:18:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... one, two, one, two, two, two, three, three, three, two, three, two.

• 1:18:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love that.

• 1:18:23SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's go to the eye doctor.

• 1:18:24SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is it like at a-

• 1:18:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Let's get an eye doctor in here. We got Dr. Mike, but he can't know everything.

• 1:18:28SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He... What is it... How the fuck does he know about eyes?

• 1:18:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He definitely doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about eyes.

• 1:18:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No fucking way.

• 1:18:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He might know medicine, and he might know general stuff, but, like, eyes?

• 1:18:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No shot.

• 1:18:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What the fuck? Fuck you.

• 1:18:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What do you know about the opt- the optic nerve?

• 1:18:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Opto- optomalogist.

• 1:18:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You're getting on my optic nerve, fucking Dr. Mike.

• 1:18:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  There's a g- or this guy now, he fucking... He can't tell us about fucking hand, foot, and mouth.

• 1:18:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, he's not a HFM. What is it?

• 1:18:51SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know, like, an HFM specialist. You ain't g- you ain't got a specialty in fucking mouths.

• 1:18:57SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What is it? Ear... Oh, EMT. Ear, mouth, tongue.

• 1:19:01SCRIBE_speaker_3

  HFM.

• 1:19:01SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I think that's-

• 1:19:02SCRIBE_speaker_3

  I don't even know what that means

• 1:19:03SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... hand, foot, mouth.

• 1:19:04SCRIBE_speaker_3

  Oh.

• 1:19:05SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Is that a thing?

• 1:19:06SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't know.

• 1:19:06SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a thing.

• 1:19:07SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bro, the last time I went to the eye doctor, they actually didn't do the puff, and they did some other shit, and then after my exam she was like, "Do you wanna see your eye?" And I was like...

• 1:19:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I got that shit too. They showed me, like, it's, like, a map of my eye.

• 1:19:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, and she's like, "Look," and then it was, like, fucking Tony Stark, like, building, like, a fucking car or something. She was like, "Look," and it, like, turn- like, on the computer screen, it, like, turned my eye all the way around.

• 1:19:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Really?

• 1:19:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was like, "Oh my God, is this my eye?"

• 1:19:31SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I think I had the same thing.

• 1:19:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And it shows all of your, like, blood vessels, and she's like, "Your optic nerve is good."

• 1:19:36SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, it show, it shows, like, how, like, light travels, and they're like, "It looks good. Looks like a good eye." I'm like, "I fucking hope so."

• 1:19:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:19:42SCRIBE_speaker_1

  These things ain't getting... They're just there.

• 1:19:44SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, I can't really... Can you get another eye?

• 1:19:49SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know. I do not know.

• 1:19:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think, I don't think so.

• 1:19:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That you could just, like, get a, like, "Let me get a different eye."

• 1:19:54SCRIBE_speaker_2

  'Cause I feel like they'd be doing that.

• 1:19:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I don't know, but I do know that you see everything upside down, technically. 'Cause it, like, the light comes through, and, like, when it gets to, like, your optic nerve it's upside down, and then your brain converts it into right side up or some shit like that.

• 1:20:08SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Whoa. Is that true?

• 1:20:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I know fucking more about eyes than Dr. Mike.

• 1:20:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, we haven't even confirmed that, though.

• 1:20:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fuck this guy. I know, I know eyes. He knows fucking everything else.

• 1:20:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hey, hey, Dr. Mike, you know about upside down sight?

• 1:20:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, you don't.

• 1:20:18SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Probably not.

• 1:20:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He's probably... 'Cause you wear glasses. The fuck do you know?

• 1:20:22SCRIBE_speaker_2

  "The lens in your eye projects an upside down image onto the back of your eye, however, your brain does not literally flip a picture back over. Instead, it processes the signals- ... and maps them to your body surrou-" Whoa, I don't... The rest of the sentence is, is outrageous.

• 1:20:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Like, if you... You know how there are some glasses that if you wear you can flip, like, your vision upside down?

• 1:20:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:20:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Okay, well, well-

• 1:20:43SCRIBE_speaker_2

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:20:45SCRIBE_speaker_1

  My, my, my point is, those exist, and if you wear them long enough, eventually your brain will just be like, "No," and, and fix it back.

• 1:20:51SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Huh.

• 1:20:52SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Fuck off.

• 1:20:53SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I, I-

• 1:20:53SCRIBE_speaker_1

  How long? You did it?

• 1:20:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, but I am... I'd, I'd have to ask Dr. Mike, but I'm, like, 40% sure.

• 1:20:58SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Your eyes play tricks on you. I bet Dr. Mike didn't know that. Technically, you always see your nose, but your eyes just get used to it and don't count it.

• 1:21:05SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bro, you ever see one of those things and be like, "These images are actually the same size," and I'm like, "No, they're not."

• 1:21:11SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I do the thing where I'll, like, look at them, and I'll be like, "Oh."

• 1:21:14SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or it's like, "These are actually not getting smaller and bigger," and I'm like, "They are."

• 1:21:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Well, there's those ones where it's like it looks like a graphic is moving, but it's like, it's not moving at all. The ones that fuck me up, where it's like you can, um-

• 1:21:27SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, well, these are the same size

• 1:21:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... there's no possible... Th- there's... The ones that fuck me up, it's like if you look at this thing spinning, you can trick your eyes into making it spin the other way.

• 1:21:37SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:21:38SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That one gets me, 'cause I'm just like, "No fucking way."

• 1:21:39SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Or it's like, "Look right here. All the lines disappear." And I'm like, "Oh my God, are they're disappearing."

• 1:21:46SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I mean, those just look like the same size all the time.

• 1:21:48SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Oh.

• 1:21:49SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Um, I see the same-

• 1:21:50SCRIBE_speaker_1

  They actually don't.

• 1:21:54SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That is kinda wild.

• 1:21:55SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That's nothing.

• 1:21:56SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Perspective is so awesome. You remember the Museum of Moving Images?

• 1:22:00SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, that was cool.

• 1:22:01SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I liked that place a lot.

• 1:22:02SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That was pretty cool, that place.

• 1:22:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Pers- perspective is scary.

• 1:22:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I love, like, tricks. Not tricks. Uh, uh, what's that?

• 1:22:08SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You hate pranks, but you like-

• 1:22:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Optical illusions

• 1:22:10SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... optical illusions?

• 1:22:10SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah, optical illusions are cool.

• 1:22:12SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Ah. Interesting. Maybe we'll have to set some up.

• 1:22:15SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Bro, when I, I went to Halloween Horror Nights once, and they had a Beetlejuice house.

• 1:22:18SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh.

• 1:22:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  And the beginning of the Beetlejuice house, it's a giant room that's, like, the, uh, hypnosis, black and white spinning

• 1:22:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, I know, I know that

• 1:22:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  ... and then it just spins, and you have to walk straight.

• 1:22:28SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I've been in one of those tunnels, and it feels like-

• 1:22:30SCRIBE_speaker_2

  It's impossible

• 1:22:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... you are spinning. I know.

• 1:22:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I was like, fucking, like I'm on a drawbridge or something.

• 1:22:34SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:22:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Not a drawbridge. Whatever the...

• 1:22:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Uh, the, the one that I went to was at Lake Compounce, and it was like you walk over this, like, s- like, metal grated bridge.

• 1:22:42SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:22:43SCRIBE_speaker_1

  But it's, like, a tunnel of light spinning, and, like, you feel like you're going with it.

• 1:22:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yeah.

• 1:22:47SCRIBE_speaker_1

  So, like, people fucking drop to the ground. The other one- ... that's really cool, I don't know how they did this, it's a room... It's, like, not a room, but it's, like, a tunnel, but, like, the, the way that they make the light reflect, it looks like the light is making the room get smaller, but the reality is, like, the tunnel is still the same size. So once you get through, they have, like, a night vision camera, and you could see the people walking, and they're, like, people crawling, 'cause they think they're, like, getting close into this room, but it's just a normal ass room.

• 1:23:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The brain, man.

• 1:23:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  The brain is tricky, man.

• 1:23:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Perception.

• 1:23:21SCRIBE_speaker_1

  We've got... Fucking Dr. Mike doesn't know about that either.

• 1:23:23SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No shot he knows about perception.

• 1:23:25SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No shot this fucking guy knows about trick-

• 1:23:25SCRIBE_speaker_2

  He doesn't know his eyes. He's got glasses. What, he can't see?

• 1:23:27SCRIBE_speaker_1

  He can't see. He doesn't know. He knows maybe about, like, fucking, like, Cyclospora, but he doesn't know fucking shit about illusions.

• 1:23:34SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Cyclospora.

• 1:23:35SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Damn.

• 1:23:36SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I feel like he might know.

• 1:23:37SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, he probably does.

• 1:23:38SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Oh, yeah. He's way smarter than any of us combined.

• 1:23:40SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah, he's got information, for sure. Um, well, that's all our, uh, we have for today. Thank you, guys, so much for, uh, riding with us until the end. Frank, where can they find you?

• 1:23:47SCRIBE_speaker_2

  The Frank Alvarez all over social media. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. Go check out thebasementyard.com/submit if you're coming to, uh, to any of the live shows, and, um, yeah.

• 1:23:57SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And, and Prisco on Instagram and TikTok.

• 1:23:59SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Ooh, he's got a TikTok now.

• 1:24:00SCRIBE_speaker_1

  That's right. He made a TikTok. Isn't that where you said you're gonna, uh-

• 1:24:04SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Here we go

• 1:24:04SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... do thirst trap videos? That'd be awesome.

• 1:24:09SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No.

• 1:24:09SCRIBE_speaker_1

  I was scrolling, and you pop up, and you're hitting a dance.

• 1:24:11SCRIBE_speaker_2

  That was on my other account.

• 1:24:13SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Mm.

• 1:24:13SCRIBE_speaker_2

  We should do a bet one day, and that's the punishment.

• 1:24:16SCRIBE_speaker_1

  And that he needs to-

• 1:24:16SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You gotta learn a TikTok.

• 1:24:17SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You gotta learn a TikTok.

• 1:24:17SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Well, I just may know it, 'cause everybody would be on the bet.

• 1:24:19SCRIBE_speaker_1

  No, no, no. You.

• 1:24:19SCRIBE_speaker_2

  No, no, no. You, brother.

• 1:24:20SCRIBE_speaker_1

  What am I betting?

• 1:24:21SCRIBE_speaker_2

  You... So you asked us on an episode how many likes to get you to do an intro for the episode.

• 1:24:26SCRIBE_speaker_1

  Yeah.

• 1:24:26SCRIBE_speaker_2

  If in 30 days you don't get that many likes- ... that's what you have to do.

• 1:24:29SCRIBE_speaker_1

  You gave me-

• 1:24:29SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Hit the rip dance

• 1:24:30SCRIBE_speaker_1

  ... it was way too high.

• 1:24:32SCRIBE_speaker_2

  I don't think it was that high.

• 1:24:33SCRIBE_speaker_1

  All right. We'll see. Well, and you guys follow me @joesantagato. Uh, go follow the show @thebasementyard on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time.

• 1:24:52SCRIBE_speaker_2

  Yay.

• 1:24:52SCRIBE_speaker_4

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