#516 - Are We Gooners?

Yea, i don't know what to write for this description honestly, gonna have to just give it a watch! - ant Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome back to the ba-

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement yard. Ooh, look at this hair, a little curly. Alright, you wanna introduce yourself?

• 0:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  I'm gonna skip over you. How you doing, Ant?

• 0:20Speaker 02

  I'm going-

• 0:20Speaker 01

  No, oh, let's go back-

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Goon?

• 0:22Speaker 01

  You're gooning?

• 0:22Speaker 00

  You say goon?

• 0:23Speaker 01

  You're gooning?

• 0:23Speaker 02

  I did.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  What is that? What is gooning? Is it, is it-

• 0:26Speaker 02

  It's beating your dick in half.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Oh-

• 0:28Speaker 02

  Weekly, weekly.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  I thought it was something to do with like, being gay.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Gooning?

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  You thought that meant gay?

• 0:34Speaker 00

  I thought like, it was like, like, men after other men, like, being sexually attracted to other men.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  So if I'm, if I'm gay, I'm gooning?

• 0:42Speaker 00

  Uh, but, uh, there's like a level, there's an added layer of, not even a minute in.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, why did you think that, though?

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Uh, I, I, I think, I don't know, I, I think I just saw it and it was just like-

• 0:55Speaker 01

  You were like, "Oh, gooning, that's gay."

• 0:57Speaker 00

  No, not like that.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  No, I mean like-

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Careful.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Gayness, like, you thought gayness-

• 1:01Speaker 00

  No, no, like, I thought it was just like, you know, like, uh, just like a term used for like, being like, hyperly sexual toward a man, if you are a man.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Right, so like horny gay.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  Like, really horny.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  So if I said, "Don't talk to me, I'm gooning at the Rainforest Cafe."

• 1:18Speaker 00

  Then you're being-

• 1:19Speaker 01

  First of all-

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Hold your ass to jail. If that's the thing, but he also probably would think you were on a date with a man and you guys are horny for each other.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Which you were, last time you went, by the way, which, by the way, when we were in Minneapolis, we saw the signs for the, the Rainforest Cafe. And-

• 1:34Speaker 02

  You should've went, we were gooning for it.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  We weren't, and we didn't, and we wouldn't have.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  Uh, but, so, uh, gooning is just like violently beating your cock?

• 1:43Speaker 01

  I mean, that-

• 1:47Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not violent, I think it's just, it's just another way of saying like masturbation.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  What was wrong with the original terms?

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Violently, I mean, is like-

• 1:56Speaker 00

  I mean, when you said beating your dick in half-

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I, I like-

• 1:59Speaker 00

  That insinuates some level of violence.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  To be fair, I dressed it up a little too much, so, uh, it's just, it's just-

• 2:05Speaker 00

  Undress it.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's what it is.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Describe what that was.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  That was Buttons, but now I just realized that most of those shirts are worn by men.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Gooning.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  I guess I was gooning. Were you, when you went to the Rainforest Cafe, were you in fact gooning?

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Uh, not at that specific time, no.

• 2:26Speaker 00

  Well...

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Oh, so you did goon in, in, uh...

• 2:29Speaker 00

  In Minneapolis, you gooned up?

• 2:32Speaker 02

  There's not much to do out there.

• 2:33Speaker 00

  Well, we did some stuff out there and it didn't involve stroking our dick.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Well, you guys were, did much cooler things than I did.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  You went to the Rainforest Cafe?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I went to the Rainforest Cafe and drank everything on the drink menu.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  How many drinks was that?

• 2:45Speaker 02

  It was, it's 12 specialty drinks.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  That, you're fucking insane, dude.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  You must have been quite drunk at a Rainforest Cafe.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Didn't you do that?

• 2:55Speaker 00

  Uh, when I was in...

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Have I got Chili's or something?

• 2:57Speaker 00

  When I was in college, uh, my buddy and I would go to Fridays and we, we had, we played a game, it was called the dumbass challenge. And it was just whoever can drink one of everything on the drink menu first, one, and then the loser had to buy the, like, all of the drinks.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Did you win?

• 3:13Speaker 00

  I think I won once or twice, but like, we, we only did it like four or five times.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  That is so many times, Frank. How many things were on the menu?

• 3:20Speaker 00

  Maybe it was less. Well, it was like, it was like one of those menus where it's like, you can get this, it's like electric blue lemonade, or this drink, or this drink, and it's five bucks. So like, we would pick between one of those three.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:33Speaker 00

  And then it would be like, you can get a red wine, a white wine, a house this for three bucks, and you had to pick one of those. And then it was like, a beer, a well liquor, you know, and, and then a shot or something. And we got really drunk, and it sucked.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  I mean, you're at a, what was it, Fridays?

• 3:51Speaker 00

  Yup.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Fridays. I've never been to a Fridays before.

• 3:56Speaker 00

  I know you've been to an Applebee's.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  I've been to an Applebee's and they refused to serve me margaritas because they told me they were nasty.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Also, you, like, we went to Applebee's, like, that was when we were like seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. We'd all go out to eat as like, boys, and we'd go to Hooters or Applebee's or...

• 4:13Speaker 01

  Subway.

• 4:14Speaker 00

  Well, that wasn't going out to eat. Like, we'd be like, "Yo, I got thirty bucks from my mom. Let's go to Applebee's."

• 4:20Speaker 01

  When I was younger, I, I don't know that I ever went on a date properly like that, but if I had to pick a place to go to, I would've just been like, "Oh, let's go to Applebee's." Because I just feel like, I don't know.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  I don't-

• 4:34Speaker 01

  It's like, cheap, it's food-

• 4:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, listen, it, it does exactly what it needs to do.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  I heard there's no, uh, ovens, and there's just microwave-

• 4:40Speaker 00

  I don't know if that's Applebee's or Friday's, but one of them has, it's all, like, everything is microwaved.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 00

  Um, and I'm not gonna say who for potential legal reasons.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Right. Have you been to an Applebee's? Yes, I've been to an Applebee's.

• 4:52Speaker 00

  I've been to all the big-

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Dollar Margaritas? Yeah, but it's a scam. Don't do it. First of all, I, did I tell you this story? I told him before, but I went with, like, my siblings to get Dollar Margaritas, and when we ordered them, like, "Oh, can we do Dollar Margaritas?" The guy literally went, "You don't want them." And I said, "Why am I even here?" If that's the reaction, he's like, "You don't want the Dollar Margaritas." I was like, "Okay."

• 5:14Speaker 00

  What's the biggest, like, drink rip-off you've ever had in your entire life? I know mine-

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Bottles in a club?

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Oh my god.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Insane?

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Oh my god, I never understood. It's all for clout. That's all it is, all it is, all the time, forever, always.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  What?

• 5:30Speaker 00

  Bottles in a club.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  If you have a big group, I, it's, it's just unfortunate that, like, it's easier to have a bottle than to forty people go, or not forty, but like-

• 5:40Speaker 00

  No.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  You know, a group of fifteen people try to get drinks.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  Aggressively disagree, because then you have, let's say you go to the club with ten people, and a bottle of Grey Goose is a thousand dollars. What, each of those people are getting one or two drinks max.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  So they're paying fifty dollars for a drink.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  It's bad. Also, they do this thing, this happened to me in Mykonos, which I, I didn't love, but they, they turned the beach clubs into, like, now it's a different place. So it's like, now, I mean, granted, we were six dudes, so they were like, "You guys either have to leave, or you have to get a, a, a table." And when you get a table, we got lucky though. The people next to us were like, they were from fucking Canada, and they're like, "Yeah, we'll give you five hundred bucks. We'll just be at the table with you." We're like, "Alright." So, we, we had a table, and- The waiter comes over and was like, here's the bottle list. So I'm looking at the bottle list and I'm like, oh, okay, like some of these are not bad, whatever. I mean, they're expensive, but it's not like a thousand dollars a bottle, but it's like 450, 500 for these types of things.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  So I'm like, okay, I was like, all right, how about this one? He's like, oh, we don't have that. I'm like, what about this one? He goes, we don't have that. They didn't have like the four cheapest bottles? So I'm like, this is a scam!

• 6:52Speaker 00

  Of course, I remember when we were younger, like and some of our friends would go out clubbing. It would be like they'd go, you'd go to the bar and you'd pay 300 dollars for a bottle, a 750 of Smirnoff, which no disrespect to Mr. And Mrs. Smirnoff.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Gave them an H.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  It's not 300 dollars worth of vodka. It's just such a scam and I hated it so much because the only reason that people are doing it is for clout. And so people could see that they got bottles over there. And I like, I like, I spoke about when we were teenagers and like in our early twenties, when our friends would go to clubs, it wasn't, it was about appealing to women.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  We never got bottles.

• 7:36Speaker 00

  Some of our friends did, 100%.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  I would get as drunk as I possibly could beforehand to the point where I'm about to fall asleep and then go and I'd be good the whole night.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Same, exact same.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I mean, I didn't have any dollars, so.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  The only time I can ever really remember getting a drink at a club was we went to, we were underage. We went to a place called Studio 34. And, uh, and I walked in and I thought I was fucking like Danny Ocean. I walked in and I go, let me get Patron with Sprite, no ice.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  What an order.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  What an order and like.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Patron and Sprite and no ice.

• 8:17Speaker 00

  They were gonna be like, oh, we need to fill this cup up, so let's fill it up with Patron. I was so stupid. And it was, uh, that's the only time I can really remember.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Patron and Sprite.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  But I hate, I always hated bottles in a club.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Do you remember a med, a med one time ordered, can I get a Grey Goose and vodka?

• 8:35Speaker 00

  It wasn't a med, it was somebody else, but.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  I swore it was a med.

• 8:38Speaker 00

  And he might have done it too, but I remember.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  It's like, let me get a Grey Goose and vodka.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  And they were like, you're cut off.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  What the fuck are you doing?

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, they were like, you are cut off. I, I remember going to like those Long Island bars where it would be like, you pay a twenty dollar, uh, cover charge to get in. And then it's dollar beers all night. But they give it to you in little Dixie cups like this.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  So.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  What am I doing with that?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Look, verbatim. A regular beer would be five bucks. You would probably spend more because it would take like six or seven of those Dixie cups to fill a regular glass.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  And you wouldn't realize it, you'd just hear like, oh shit, dollar beers. And it was such a fucking ripoff. And I was so mad.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Got a fucking dollar.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  And, you know. I was very, I was very upset.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. Nowadays it's kinda crazy going out, man, just. Cocktails are just insane now.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, well I.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Fifteen dollars, twenty dollars.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  It is my personal nightmare to go to a club, like. If you were to say tomorrow, like. Well, if you were to ask me like what it would take for me to go to a club, one, it would be that we, like we did in Atlantic City last year, we had our own area, we had our own drinks.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Well, you gotta pay for that.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  Space.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  That's why people pay. When you get bottles, you have to get that. You don't get bottles and stand in the corner.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  No, no, no, but we have been to places where our friends have gotten tables and bottles and like you're in a fucking, like, you're on a table, but there are people everywhere, so like.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 00

  You're still trapped.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  You know, but like I remember one year we went out for one of our friend's birthdays on Halloween. Do you remember that?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  This could be any year.

• 10:13Speaker 00

  That's right. Well, we got a table and we like planned in advance for a table, but the table was in the middle of the place. So there were people, it literally felt like we were stranded on a desert island. Like, we couldn't move.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Uh, I, I don't prefer to be at clubs. I think there's a time and a place for it. I could be in the mood for it, like, but it's very rare. Maybe twice a year.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  It's my personal nightmare right now. I just don't have the capacity for it. Just like, being stuck like this, with holding a drink up here and then bringing it down to sip it.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Well, that, that I wouldn't do. I wouldn't do that.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  That's what, that's what the club experience is, to my understanding is.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, because we, we went when we had no money and we were fucking eighteen years old. But now if it's like, if I'm gonna go to a club, I'm not, like, gonna go, I'm not gonna go anywhere, because I wouldn't go to a festival either, because being in large crowds like that is like not, I, it would not go well for me. Um, I don't like that type of thing, of just being like around people. I just feel trapped and, I don't know, it just freaks me out. But if I were to go to a club, I would prefer to have a place where I could like, take a seat for a second, or like put my stuff down, or like reconvene, instead of just being in the middle of everything at all times. I could just get overstimulated, so I can't do that.

• 11:32Speaker 00

  I, I, that's, we recently, Beck and I have recently been rewatching the Fire Festival documentaries.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, chill.

• 11:39Speaker 00

  Un, like, an unbelievable scenario that like, that is what I believe to be like the ultimate nightmare. First of all, I wouldn't go, because I wouldn't like, all these like Burning Man, E-Zoo, EDC, uh, what are the other ones? There's a bunch of other ones. You know what I'm talking about, though, right?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, Ultra Tomorrowland.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, Ultra Tomorrowland, uh, Coachella. Uh, it just seems so miserable. Like, you're in the middle of nowhere, just with barely anything, no water, no lodging. I mean, some, you know, people get like tense and shit, but like you have to pay for like a week at Coachella. It's like fifteen thousand dollars for a tent.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  You can buy single days.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  I know.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  But I, I agree. I mean, I'm just, I'm just not. I, I think when I was younger, I would be more into that. But obviously now I'm just.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  But even when we were younger, I was never a club guy. And I think you were the same. Like, we were more like house, like, parties or bars.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Well, we had no money. So I mean, I'm sure I'd be more into clubs if I like could get hooked up, but we weren't getting hooked up.

• 12:41Speaker 00

  Even now that we're adults and we've made money, like, I would still way, way, way, if you gave me the choice of preference, I would way sooner do a house party or a bar over a club.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I would, I'd rather go out, but I'd rather be at a bar.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  I just hate the idea. Like, it's just, it sounds miserable to me. And maybe it's just I'm getting old. But like, just like loud music, it's just in your.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  I mean, did you, it depends where you go. Like, you gotta pick a place. You know what's nice? It's better, like, I, I find that clubs in Europe are different. And it's when they're, especially when they're outside, it's better. There's less of that, like, I am pouring sweat and I'm just like, whatever. Like, there's areas where you can kind of like just chill and get a breeze. That's a lot better. Feeling like you're confined to an area where everyone's sweating on you and you're dying and you paid thirty dollars for a cranberry and vodka. Like, that sounds fucking miserable. I would never do that again.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Oh, my god. Cranberry vodka.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Horrible. You probably love that.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Ah, it's alright. I always sneak a flask in. You always sneak a flask in.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  Oh, so breaking the rules. Breaking the rules.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Breaking the rules. That's what he's worried about. I'm worried about you being white trash. A flask.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  You're right. I'd rather spend thirty dollars on the drink.

• 13:55Speaker 00

  I mean, there is something about drinking out of that little baby thing on a flask that is a little trashy. And you have to admit it.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't drink out of the flask. What, what do I look like? I go down here and I pour it into the drink. Make the drink stronger. Flask back in pocket.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  If you're drinking a flask in your twenties, you're basically a cigarette.

• 14:12Speaker 00

  And how in 2025 are you?

• 14:16Speaker 00

  Tricking people into getting a flask into places.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  They don't really pat you down like they...

• 14:21Speaker 02

  And even if they did, plastic flasks, what are we doing?

• 14:24Speaker 00

  I mean-

• 14:24Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought you were talking about like a metal detector thing.

• 14:27Speaker 00

  Metal detector, getting patted down, like-

• 14:29Speaker 02

  They're not patting me down.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  They do one of these.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  I don't know, I feel like you wouldn't be able to get one by-

• 14:36Speaker 01

  You tape it to your leg, or what do you do?

• 14:37Speaker 02

  I'll tape it on the inside if I have to.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Do you?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  I'll do whatever, I'll do whatever it takes. I'm not spending thirty dollars on that drink.

• 14:42Speaker 00

  See, but that is so much to commit to doing to just get a couple free drinks.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Your bill's gonna be three hundred, my bill will be fifteen dollars.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  Baby, my bill ain't gonna be that high, cuz you know what I'm ordering?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Milk?

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Miller Lite.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  Milk?

• 14:59Speaker 00

  My trick, when I was in college, there were some places that, that we would go to in downtown New Haven, and it was, not a trick, it's actually probably in hindsight, pretty unsafe and irresponsible, is I would just go to the bar, and I would order, I'd like pretend that I was ordering for a ton of people. So I'd go, "Let me get six beers", and they'd give me the six beers, and then I had beers for the next two hours.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  You got five open beers, though, I'd be worried.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  Bro, you're in college, you don't wanna fucking sit in line at a bar doing-

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, I agree. You definitely gotta get two. If you're doing beers, you gotta get two.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  I think, I think at least three.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  I just don't wanna be responsible for that many beers.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  Responsible? You're gonna drink them.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Well, no, I know, but like, I don't know, I'm still freaked. I, I also like worry about, I know I'm not like, a woman, and they probably have to worry about this way more than I do, but people just, yeah. It's so much easier to like just drop them.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  Sure, yeah, but um, the way that I would carry my beers is I would put my fingers in-

• 15:58Speaker 01

  You would walk around like this?

• 15:59Speaker 00

  I would, I would put my fingers in the top of them.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:01Speaker 00

  So like- I would, I'd walk around like the fucking guy from the Warriors, you know? Warriors, come out to play!

• 16:10Speaker 01

  On all your fingers?

• 16:11Speaker 00

  I would.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  I'd much rather be in a bar, like much rather, way more fun.

• 16:15Speaker 00

  I would, here's my perfect, like, bar situation.

• 16:21Speaker 00

  I was basically just gonna describe the old Studio Square. You have an inside bar with long like banquet tables and benches, some games, and then there's access to a large outdoor area that has basically the exact same thing. Some lawn games.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Food truck.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  Food, uh, food truck, or you just have a, like a little kitchen in the corner. That's like, we only do bar bites. We only do pretzels and wings and fries and hot dogs. And, you know, pigs in a blanket.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  How do you feel about a dance floor in a bar?

• 16:52Speaker 00

  It needs to be an area that during the day is not a dance floor, and then it gets converted to a dance floor at night.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  They need to be down to clown. Like during the day, it needs to be like a regular area, and then at night, they'll be like, we're clearing out this area of its tables and chairs, and it becomes the dance floor.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Do you have a favorite bar?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  I do.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Can't, can't.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Because?

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Smart, cuz then people will go.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  It's a little close. It's a little close.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a little close to where you are.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  People will show up.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  But it's your, like, local bar?

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  How close is it to your house? Like, walking distance?

• 17:21Speaker 02

  It's like, less than half a mile, walking.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Oh, man, those days of being able to walk, like, down Dipmars when we were like 22 years old, to just go to any of those bars. Those are good bars.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Bro, there's amazing bars over there now. What do you mean?

• 17:34Speaker 00

  I heard they redid the Pomeroy. This is only for us, by the way. Forget the cameras.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  I mean, no, they re- they redid that whole street. I mean, like, Rivercrest is cool, the Diddy's fucking fire.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  I mean, I've always loved the Diddy. Rivercrest, I've been to a handful of times, and it was fine, you know?

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's cool.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  Uh...

• 17:48Speaker 01

  It serves its perp.

• 17:49Speaker 00

  It does. It serves the perpies.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:52Speaker 00

  Um...

• 17:52Speaker 01

  But the Pomeroy's nice? Jack Jones is nice?

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Jack Jo- that's so funny that that place has stuck around.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  That place has banging empanadas.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  That's so funny that place stuck around, cuz I remember when it opened, I like jokingly was there with Pete. I was like, this place is five bones tops.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Well, nothing lasted there, but they've been there, and they're great.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, do you remember what it was, like, way before that? It was like the Nextel Sprint Store?

• 18:12Speaker 01

  Was it?

• 18:12Speaker 00

  It was. It was a Nextel and Sprint store that like had a connection in between the two, cuz Sprint owned Nextel.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  The things you remember.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Just the things I remember are so stupid, but yeah, I'm just saying, and oh, oh, and it needs to be like you could get a beer in like you can get a regular pint. You could get a bottle, or you can big boy it, you know, like the Stein.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Like a Stein?

• 18:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Okay, with a top or like a just a big icy?

• 18:37Speaker 00

  Just a big icy glass mug.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Yo, I fuck when, when bartenders give you a glass that's like frosted, I'm like, this is so good.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  All beer should be served in like a frozen glass.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Well, um, not all beer, I mean, not like Guinness.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah, yeah, no.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  You, can I?

• 18:57Speaker 01

  But like, you know.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  Can I ask you a question?

• 18:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 00

  Do you miss Guinness?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Do I miss Guinness?

• 19:02Speaker 00

  You miss Guinness? It's been a while since I had a Guinness.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  It's been a while since I've had a Guinness as well. I'll throw one in.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  I miss it.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I'll throw one in.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  I miss the, I miss the, a creamer, as they call it.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  There's a place near me that has them, and it's also like. Oh, were you with us when we went to that bar that had like, um, I don't, oh no, I think that was in Belfast, but they had a. It's like an old bar and they have these like, um, why can't I think of the word, like little booths, but there's a saloon door. To eat, to each of them, which is so sick, but this place near me has that, and they have Guinness, and I was like, dude, this place rocks.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  I wish, dude, I wanna kick one of those doors open so fucking hard and so fucking bad, dude.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Just to have like a meeting in there and just like.

• 19:55Speaker 00

  Alright, alright, I'm gonna give you.

• 19:58Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, the, it, tell me this is a good bar setup, okay?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Are you gonna describe what I just described?

• 20:03Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  What's the point of doing that?

• 20:04Speaker 00

  I wanna hear myself talk.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Love a good saloon door.

• 20:10Speaker 00

  No, but I just-

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Bar should have that at the front, dude. At the front.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  I mean, but they gotta be careful. They gotta be careful because, you know, like the thievery and stuff like that nowadays.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  But I'm saying have two doors. Have like a main door, but then when it's like summer, open the door, let us walk through the salon.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  The salon door is like cowboys.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  So if it were like a vestibule or like a foyer and then there's the saloon doors?

• 20:35Speaker 01

  You're throwing a lot of French at me right now and I don't know how to handle it.

• 20:38Speaker 00

  Vestibule is not French, is it?

• 20:39Speaker 01

  It feels German then, what is that?

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Uh, it's-

• 20:41Speaker 01

  I'm thinking of the autobahn.

• 20:42Speaker 00

  It's over there, yeah. Uh, but I just think that like, if it could be those, those doors and then you go in and you, you look at the bartender and he's like, "Randy." And they throw just an icy cold fucking mug.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Spilling everywhere.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Everywhere. And it's frothy and just fucking, just getting the whole bar drenched down the bar and you fucking, put your hand out at the right time and your hand goes in between where the handle is.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 00

  And then you just fucking-

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  "To you." And then you fuck, oh.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  I haven't had that happen in a, in a bar yet. Which I guess is good. Because I haven't frequented the same bar like that. But at my local coffee shop, when I walk in, they just start making my shit.

• 21:29Speaker 00

  That's-

• 21:29Speaker 01

  It's fantastic.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  Dude, being a local somewhere is so fucking cool.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  I love it, dude. They're so nice to me there. Um, but they, but when I walk in, they're like, I'll make eye contact with, uh, this girl that works there. And she's taking someone else's order. Or if, it's happened before where the other girl is taking the order and then the other one sees me and then immediately starts making an iced coffee for me.

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• 22:22Speaker 01

  And I'm like, this is awesome.

• 22:25Speaker 00

  I wanna walk in somewhere where they just go, the regular?

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  You know, but it's so hard to come by.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  You gotta go to a place all the time.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  When we used to go to our diner a lot, if they saw us across the street, they would have three cups of coffee on our favorite table, ready for us when we got in.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  Fuck off!

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:42Speaker 00

  Having also like, uh, like this is our spot at this diner or something like that, it's probably so sick.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Wait, they would see you across the street and then make that assumption?

• 22:52Speaker 00

  And it wasn't, was it one of, like, an old white woman in, like, the, like, the old getup and she would, like, her notebook and she's like, "What are you taking, hon? The regular?"

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Honestly, that's exactly it.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  Oh!

• 23:03Speaker 02

  It's great.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  You lucky fuck.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  That's, that's awesome.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I will, I will get there, I will be like a, like a, like a local.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  You gotta keep going back.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  A regular.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Coffee's a good one, that's an easy one. Because you can go to the same coffee shop, you go to the one that's close to you if it's good.

• 23:18Speaker 00

  I think a diner is probably where I am in my life, the most realistic, or, or the deli. Like, you go to the deli and every time you walk in, you get the same sandwich or, like, the same cold cuts.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 00

  Then, like, I got on a first-name basis with people from my old deli, and then when we moved away, I've, I've lost them. You know, but I'd walk in, he's like, "Yo, your fucking show is funny," like, the first time. He was a cool dude, he's like, "Yo, you fucking, thank you, show my, what on and you're in here." And I'm like, "I'm just here for a fucking steak."

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Anytime I was familiar with people at the, at the deli, we didn't know each other's name, but we knew each other.

• 23:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Does that make sense?

• 23:53Speaker 00

  He was like, "Oh, yo."

• 23:54Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Yo, I got you, that's good."

• 23:55Speaker 00

  You know, like, yes, so like, when we grew up, we knew the places, uh, Yellow Deli, Shaw's Deli, you know, uh, Eli's. But like, super, super friendly, Steinway, you know, like, we knew the places, and we knew the people by face, but you never cared to share your information with each other.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Bro, I don't know a fucking single letter in that guy's name.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  And you guys kind of like, you get to know each other to a point where, like, you stop speaking to each other in English, and you just speak in, like, deli code, in deli language, you know, where you walk in and he's like, "Baguette, I can cheese, I'll put a getcha." And they're like, "Ah, I got a butter." You know, like, it's just, it's not.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  It's not real words.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  I'm saying basically, like, barely words, he's spitting it back to the dude who's making the sandwich in half of what I'm saying. By the time it reaches that guy, it's not English anymore. It's just something, it's also not anything at all. It's just noises that make sense in that moment. And then I get a fucking, you know, depending on what time it is, you get a bacon, egg and cheese. This is I'm talking about 2am. You get a bacon, egg and cheese. And then you're like, you know what, let me get one Tallboy. And he's like, they're expired for two years. And I'm like, gimme it, that's perfect. And then I drink it anyway.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  That's exactly when they taste the most stale, is when they're expired for two years.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  We drank expired beer for like, four years of our lives.

• 25:11Speaker 00

  We would go to these delis and we would say like, give us a case of Tallboys. And they wouldn't count them, they'd just say like, 30 bucks. Okay.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  It didn't matter, they were getting their money.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  I always thought we were robbing the place too.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  When the reality is like, we were helping them get rid of their like, probably should be tossed items. They'd be like, yo, you want a case of Tallboys, they're 30 bucks. They expired in 2004 and it was 2010.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  Like, it was time for those things to go.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Let me tell you something though, they tasted great.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  And maybe, maybe it was because they had the extra taste of drinking under rage.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Could have been.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  Or like, the extra taste of like, you were doing something a little naughty.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, or a little bit of that bodega cat piss on the top of the can maybe?

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, like, if, I'm gonna tell you this, the best, most delicious beers I've ever had, were out of a can where a cat freshly walked across the top of these cans. And this cat, also, you guessed it, had a fucking mouse in its mouth.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and probably fleas.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  And like, but the fleas taste good. Well, this goes back to what I was previously saying, you know? I know, I know we all, how we all feel, we need to get back to being a dirty, filthy, fucking group of people in this country.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  You gotta get more dirty.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  I'm talking like, you grab a bottle of water and then when you take your hands off it, you see like, the mud and grime from your hands on that condensated bottle.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Is that dirt?

• 26:43Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, it is.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Oh, you're saying your hands are dirty, not the bottle?

• 26:47Speaker 00

  And the me, but yeah, I'm dirty.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  And then like, you take a sip of a beer and then you... Wipe your hand like that with your sleeve, you know? Yeah. And then you get a runny nose and then you use your sleeve to do that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, you know? Be gross. Be back to the good old days of being gross. Yeah. Hygiene, overrated. Yeah. Overrated. Yeah. We don't need it, we need more fleas. We need more fleas. What's that thing you get? Crabs. Well, I mean, I don't get that stuff. Not you, I meant like you, the metaphorically you. Well, make that very, first of all, you. Gets crabs. I don't think the general you is often getting crabs. I wouldn't be upset about getting crabs to be completely H O N E S T.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  I mean, I could see why, because you're a dirty filthy pig. No, I would like to see animals. On your pubes. Well, like, I'll get rid of them. I'm saying, you wouldn't, that wouldn't be cool for like a second, a second. Zero seconds. Hold on. Zero point zero zero seconds. You look down and you're like, I'm kinda itchy, you look down and there's animals. In my pubes? Yeah, that wouldn't, for a second, you wouldn't be like, oh my god, there's animals, but then you'd be like, I gotta get rid of these animals. Keep the crabs, gimme lice. I- You would rather lice? Hell yeah! I can't even see the lice is on my head, I'd rather see it, the crabs, I could see my pubes, I can't see the top of my head. I mean, but someone else can see your, we peaked as a society when we had lice. Lice was the coolest part of the nineties. Crabs is way cooler than lice.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  It is absolutely not, it's fucking on your, your dick and cock and balls and shaft of dick. I know, that's why it's better, dude. So you'd rather have animals just munch it on your fucking penis? I'd rather them in your head. Yeah, because they're away from my penis. I'm not saying I want them to bite up my penis, I'm saying I just wanna be able to see them and I can't see the top of my head. So you want crabs on your terms, you want crabs on your terms, you don't want the crabs to go out crabbing. You want the crabs to sit there and just be like, yo, we're just gonna like chill for a sec, make a quick stop while we're on our way to somewhere else. What do crabs eat? Your pubes.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  They eat...

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  I'm sure, well I do they? I think they eat like the skin.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Dead skin off your pubes. And off your cock.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  They're doing me a favor.

• 28:59Speaker 00

  You want these, they're doing you a favor.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  That's free labor that they're doing.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  Free labor? I mean, listen, I know how much you love exploiting free labor.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  What's that thing that you do when you exfoliate? I don't have to do that on my penis.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Well, do you often do that on your penis?

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Never, but I'm saying if I had to, I could, I don't have to because I have crabs.

• 29:16Speaker 00

  Society's just been, it's been way cooler.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Please, crabs or lice?

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Doing it. Wait, oh, I thought you were looking up what crabs eat. What would I rather have?

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  Crabs.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Thank you, bro.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  Crazy dude. Why, why?

• 29:27Speaker 02

  Because I could get them off faster.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  You're not, you're not, you're not in it for the right reasons, though.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  Sorry, but I'm on your team, though.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you don't, you want to see?

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Fuck your team, honestly.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  What about ticks?

• 29:40Speaker 00

  Ah! Ah!

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Those are on the bottom?

• 29:43Speaker 00

  Those are, bottom. Brother, if I could put them any lower, they'd be in hell.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  I don't like ticks either.

• 29:49Speaker 00

  I hate ticks with the D. That's one of the few legitimate fears I have, ticks. The idea of like something burrowing into your skin.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  I don't love that at all.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  And then living there and you don't even feel it? Fuck you, fuck ticks, fuck crabs.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  If they didn't have Lyme disease, I would let one, I want to watch it work.

• 30:09Speaker 00

  Ill.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  For a little.

• 30:11Speaker 00

  Ill, dude.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  What do you got?

• 30:12Speaker 02

  So I was looking up what crabs eat, and they don't eat the skin, they actually eat human blood.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  So, you want vampire crabs on your shaft?

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Frank, you know that sounds cool, you know that sounds cool.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Vampire crabs? Also, I could kill these things in an instant.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  Well, no, you probably need to get them treated.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  How do you kill crabs? You know, put like tomato sauce on it or whatever.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  You need to, I think that's skunks, you're not gonna be able to go there and fuck a bowl of ragu. You need to get it treated and have it taken out, okay?

• 30:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, I take like a cream.

• 30:44Speaker 00

  You could go and get, there's natural remedies for lice and, and things that you can get over the counter.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  I think you weed whack and then you're chilling.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  Well, if they're eating, if they're drinking blood, if they're drinking blood, that means that their skin level, so like, yeah, sure, you can go and you can excavate the whole rainforest, but guess what, life, uh, uh, finds a way, bitch.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  What?

• 31:05Speaker 02

  I'm just looking how you get rid of them, yeah, shaving, medical creams, soaps.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  I just, I think the, there is way more upside with lice.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  No way.

• 31:15Speaker 00

  You just have an itchy scalp.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  You got an itchy scalp. You want crabs where these things are munching on your mom's pubis? I don't want them. You said you'd prefer them. Over lice? Yeah. Bananas. What do you think lice are doing? They're eating your head, dude. They're eating the dry skin. That's what they're doing. Oh. They might be eating blood as well. I don't know. They could be blood sucking. Bro, they're definitely blood sucking. They ain't blood sucking. They ain't sucking on anything. Yo, tell him right now they're sucking blood. They are. They're sucking blood. Thank you, bro. They're sucking your head blood. Lice are sucking my blood? Yeah. I'm getting head from a lice? No. You're getting... No, you're giving the lice head, technically. Oh, that's gayer.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Squarespace. We do have Squarespace.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  This show is sponsored by Squarespace, okay? Squarespace is where you're gonna wanna...

• 32:13Speaker 01

  You're gonna wanna build your website, okay? Uh, they have a lovely website where they're going to help you, uh, create a professional-looking website in a short amount of time so that you can promote your business or your content or whatever that you have that you're promoting. You can do so with Squarespace with your website. Anytime we create a landing page or a website, we're using Squarespace. They're the best in the business, so... Uh, if you wanna check it out, you can go to Squarespace.com/basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement, okay? And they have a bunch of templates that make it very easy to create this professional-looking website. I know that that sounds like a giant undertaking to create a website from scratch, but they make it super easy. They get you, like, so far along in a short amount of time. They also have a lot of tools that are gonna help you optimize your traffic.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  So this is where you wanna be, folks. So, uh, you can go to Squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain when you use that code basement, alright? So, go to Squarespace. Uh, we also have Fitbod.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  If I could find it, Fitbod. Look, this is gonna help you get in shape because they create a personalized workout routine based on your goals, your fitness level, and your available equipment. Not everyone has access to a gym membership, so it's very difficult to follow a workout plan if I don't have access to a gym. But luckily with Fitbod, they take all those things into consideration. Also, your fitness level. You can't ask people to do these very complicated compound movements if they don't have a lot of experience in fitness. So, you have to work on that level with people. So, based on their goals and their fitness level, they can help you out. It's also very educational, honestly, because there are over a thousand demonstration videos to teach you how to do these movements. So, if you read something and you're like, "I don't even know what that is," they have

• 33:57Speaker 01

  a video to show you how to do it properly, which is very helpful. So, if you're starting your fitness journey, or even if you've, you know, been into fitness for a while now, you can create a personalized workout routine through Fitbod, and it is great. And you can save 25% off of your subscription or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me/basement, okay? So, that is 25% off your subscription, or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me/basement.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  And whatever journey you're on, whether it be personal health, wellness, whatever it is, let The Basement Yard be a part of that journey, my friends, and you can get us to be a part of that at Patreon. Patreon.com/TheBasementYard. We tell you guys about it every single week, and if you sign up for that first tier, you get exclusive... no, you do get something. It ain't exclusive. It's kinda exclusive. You get these weekly episodes one week in advance, guys. Don't make me have to say this again. Don't make me have to do this, alright? So, that first tier, you get weekly episodes one week in advance. That second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, guys. That's what you get, okay? It's not clocking to you that I'm standing on business, alright, guys? So, go check it out today at Patreon.com/TheBasementYard.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  We thank you guys for getting us to over 34,000 paid patrons. It's so appreciated by all of us here. You're literally supporting our love and our dream and everything we've ever wanted to do, so thank you so much, okay? And if you want to save yourself some money while you're doing it, go on a web browser. Go to Patreon.com/TheBasementYard, because if you use an app, they're gonna charge you a little extra money. So, save some money and go on the web browser version. Come on, Patreon.com/TheBasementYard.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  And we're on the road again. So, uh, we're back at it. We're doing the shows, live shows.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  On the road again.

• 35:41Speaker 00

  I can't wait to get on the road again.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  The life I love is making music with my friends.

• 35:48Speaker 00

  I literally never knew those words.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  And I can't wait to get on the road again.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Speaking of making music with friends, we like to make memories with ours at these Basement Yard shows. So if you're coming to any of these upcoming shows, make sure you go to, uh, thebasementyard.com/submit. There is a portion of our show that we like to talk to you, about you, with you, and these stories get crazy, kooky, all over the place. So, if you want us to potentially talk to you about anything that might have happened to you, about you, with you, or in your life, or whatever, go to thebasementyard.com/submit. Let us know what show you're coming to. Submit any responses that you feel are appropriate. If you want to be left anonymous, you let us know. And, uh, yeah, then we'll see what happens. So, we're excited to get back out. Keep going. Uh, when this comes out, uh, I don't know what shows are still left, but I know at the end of August, we're doing Phoenix and Las Vegas. There are some tickets

• 36:33Speaker 00

  still available for some of our shows across, uh, you know, that are remaining, uh, hum, that are remaining. So go check it out at thebasementyard.com if you want to try to grab some tickets. If you love the show and you saw it in another city and you want to come and make the trip for another one, then you come on out. Okay? You come on out. You do it. You fucking do it. Alright? You can get those tickets at the Basement Yard and make sure you submit your stories at thebasementyard.com/submit. Okay? Thebasementyard.com. Check us out. We love you. Thank you.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  I have a question.

• 37:04Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna answer it. I'm just gonna look at Ant.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Last night, I was like walking the dog and the moon was like red. What is that?

• 37:11Speaker 00

  Red moon.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  How is that an answer to what I asked?

• 37:17Speaker 00

  Probably a blood moon.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  But what is that?

• 37:19Speaker 00

  I think a blood moon is, like, the light hits it a certain way and it is used, uh, to, um, you know, kind of...

• 37:29Speaker 01

  So you don't know?

• 37:29Speaker 00

  No.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Do you know anything, Ant? Do you want the real answer? Do you know anything? I looked it up. But in your head.

• 37:36Speaker 00

  Did you see how condescending that was?

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Do you know anything? I meant to say like, do you know, like you? As a person, no.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  As a person, I don't know.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  I think it's it's blood moon, right?

• 37:49Speaker 02

  It is blood moon.

• 37:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Occurs during a total lunar eclipse when the earth passes directly between the sun and the moon.

• 37:55Speaker 00

  Total eclipse of my heart.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  Oh, so it's like, wait, what?

• 37:59Speaker 00

  It's like, like in how, how in Hercules, what was that?

• 38:02Speaker 01

  Here, how, how?

• 38:03Speaker 00

  You know, how he's went, it's like.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I stopped that real quick.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  It's like in Hercules when all the planets are in a line and then the, you know, like the, the, the Titans get out.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  How?

• 38:17Speaker 00

  You don't remember that.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Hercules? The movie from fucking 2000 what?

• 38:22Speaker 00

  1997, Joe.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  Jeez.

• 38:24Speaker 00

  Come on, 2001.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Wait, what does that mean? So it's when, when the moon is directly in front of the sun, then it turns red? It's, it's like when you flash a light through a piece of paper, it's like kinda red for some reason. Moon's the paper.

• 38:35Speaker 00

  I don't think that's the reason.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  It has, that has to be the reason.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  I've.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  It doesn't have to do anything. It's science and the space.

• 38:41Speaker 00

  Also, the sun is way bigger than the earth, brother. I'm sure that the light gets around the earth.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Bro, you ever think about how big the sun is?

• 38:51Speaker 00

  It's a big boy.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Bro, it's a big flaming ball of sun.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  It's just gas, dude. It's just out there being a, a sun and not giving a fuck about anyone else.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  Why is it so hot?

• 39:05Speaker 00

  Because of gas.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  Because of gas and, um.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  Good, you know?

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Bro, but I was.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  It's just a big chemical reaction out there.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  I was outside and I was looking and I was like, oh, the moon is like red. That's so interesting. And then I'm like, yeah, I don't even know why the fuck that happens. Like, I know it's called like a blood moon or whatever the fuck, blood orange moon. Blue moon, I don't know.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Now imagine seeing that and you're a caveman.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  Like, what's going on?

• 39:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're like, oh shit, it's, it's now it's evil. Yeah, that would be scary, dude.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  It's like, what's happening?

• 39:39Speaker 00

  If you're out there and you're just like, what is that? Oh, that big white ball in the sky that shows up every night is now red. I'm, time to go inside.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  I'm really glad that I'm living in a time where we have a lot of answers for certain things.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Because if I was a caveman. And I had to walk around and just kind of accept the fact that shit happens and I have no idea what it is, not doing well.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Oh my god. I, I mean, listen, I don't accept most of the answers we get anyways. Seems like some of them, although they are backed by science.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  You like to conspe?

• 40:10Speaker 00

  I, I just don't trust some of them.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:12Speaker 00

  Um, and no, I'm not, I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. I just pick and choose what I like, you know?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  In what regard?

• 40:20Speaker 00

  Oh, like if I just don't like something, I'm just not gonna believe it.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  That's interesting.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Well, I choose no.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  I just, I mean, like, I know there's answers and I support that the, the findings that went into it and the years, if not decades of research that went into being able to formulate a hypothesis and being supported by the scientific method. But sometimes I see it, I'm just like, I'm not, I don't like the answer, so I'm just gonna believe something else. You know, and that is being American. I mean, what is more American than ignoring hard facts, science? And just choosing to go your own way? You can go your own way, go your own way. It's a great song from a great band.

• 41:04Speaker 01

  It's a great band.

• 41:06Speaker 00

  But, so, wait, so when you go outside, did you, did you, did it like do anything or you just saw it was like why?

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, why, what, there's just things I don't know.

• 41:15Speaker 00

  Did you, did you howl at it?

• 41:17Speaker 01

  I didn't howl at it.

• 41:18Speaker 00

  Or bark of the moon?

• 41:19Speaker 01

  No, I went, when the sun meets you, I started singing like an Italian pizza man.

• 41:23Speaker 00

  Oh my god. We've already went through this, when the moon hits your eye like a bigger pizza pie, it doesn't make any sense. That's not love.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  If the moon hit my eye, I'd be fucking so dead, dude. What are you talking about?

• 41:35Speaker 00

  Yes, you would.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  When the moon hits my eye, I'm fucking dead.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  I wonder, cause I played a lot of Legend of Zelda growing up and obviously Majora's Mask was in there, which you know what happens in Majora's Mask.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, everyone goes and then it hap- and that thing.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  Well, do you remember what happens that you have to prevent? What is it?

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 41:53Speaker 00

  Well, do you remember, you remember, Ant. I know you remember.

• 41:55Speaker 01

  Everyone involved has, it's the ma- first of all, the mask.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Well, because you have to wake up the four deities.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, the deities.

• 42:02Speaker 00

  And they have to prevent what?

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Well, it depends what you, which game you're playing.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Majora's Mask.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  Right, the Majora's Mask. But the mask is like, right, so there's a mask. Then you have to wake up the four deities and then...

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Well, there's also, what, there are several masks.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  There could be, yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  No, no, no, there are in the game, there are several masks.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  It depends how far you get in the game. I only got to the Majora's Mask.

• 42:24Speaker 00

  Well, that's the main boss, so if you got to Majora's Mask at the end, then you must have collected several masks along the way.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Oh, you're talking about the other, oh, I thought you were only talking about the one mask, because I only count the Majora's Mask. I don't count the other masks.

• 42:33Speaker 00

  Well, you never have Majora's Mask, the villain, Skull Kid, has it.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  That's what I mean.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  So, but what are you trying to prevent from happening?

• 42:41Speaker 01

  He can't have the mask, we need the mask.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, yes, correct.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  We can't let him have it.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  But, but like, what's gonna happen after three days?

• 42:47Speaker 01

  Bad stuff.

• 42:48Speaker 00

  Like?

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Bad things.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  Like, how bad?

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Like catastrophic, world, earth-shattering.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, which is, but, but what causes those catastrophic earth-shattering events?

• 42:58Speaker 01

  Energy in the mask.

• 42:58Speaker 00

  It's the moon crashing into the planet.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Exactly, and that's, it's a, yeah, it's a metaphor, but also real.

• 43:05Speaker 00

  Uh, no, they, they, it's pretty real in the game, like, you see the...

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Ant, you got, you wanna step in here? I think you had, earth-shattering, I think he had it.

• 43:11Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Earth-shattering, I pulled right out of my little tiny butthole.

• 43:19Speaker 00

  Well, at least it's still tiny. But, I always wondered, like, if, like, the earth actually crashed into the moon, or, you know, together they met. Would it be like, when like, things go through the atmosphere and it's like, fire around it, or like, if at a point, it gets close, can I touch it real quick?

• 43:38Speaker 00

  You wanna just be able to touch the moon? I don't think that it would be able to get...

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Because if it got close, wouldn't just the gravity and everything just kinda just throw us, or something?

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Yes, yeah, that would be all fucked, and like, the water and tides and all that stuff would be...

• 43:50Speaker 01

  You ever see those AI videos where it shows the moon doing that?

• 43:53Speaker 00

  Oh, and it's like, "Mmmmm."

• 43:57Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't like that shit.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  It's over.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't like those either, or the ones where like people are in the water. And then like they go underwater and they just see like a big face.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like a giant squid head.

• 44:13Speaker 00

  Listen, I don't, I'm not crazy about AI.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  That's the worst thing.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  What is worse? Looking in the sky and seeing like a face just fucking?

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 00

  Or looking underwater and then just seeing an eye pop open like that.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  Absolutely the water.

• 44:30Speaker 00

  The water, right?

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  I kind of agree.

• 44:32Speaker 01

  It's not worse?

• 44:33Speaker 00

  The sky is so much worse. I feel like-

• 44:35Speaker 01

  How?

• 44:35Speaker 00

  Cause that means it's gigantic. I mean, the water is pretty big too.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Like Earth big.

• 44:40Speaker 00

  My, my issue, my-

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Earth big.

• 44:43Speaker 00

  My issue would be, is like, why it's scary is like, cause it was there the whole time.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  I don't like being a, like, it's below me. Why? Because it could grab my foot.

• 44:53Speaker 00

  I'm like, so, I've seen shit where it's like you get in the water and shit is dark, you can't see shit, then all of a sudden, it's like, this fucking giant squid face, connected to a body of a pirate or something. Can you look up one of these like videos that we're talking about?

• 45:09Speaker 01

  I really don't like it, dude.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  Come on, just-

• 45:11Speaker 01

  There's a, there's a phobia, it's like, something about giant shit.

• 45:14Speaker 00

  I, well, I don't know what it is, I think that the open, like, look up like-

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Like mesothelioma or something?

• 45:19Speaker 00

  That's not what you're suppo- thalassophobia is the fear of the ocean, open ocean.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Mesothelioma, isn't that?

• 45:25Speaker 00

  That's the, the cancer caused by like asbestos. That you might be entitled to compensation. Uh-

• 45:33Speaker 01

  That's, that's on me.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  But like if you look up like-

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Which is also scary, to be fair, but-

• 45:37Speaker 00

  Images underwater of face being scary.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  You want me just to Google that and we'll see what happens?

• 45:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  There's a, there's a fear, if you type, like, the fear of giant things, if you look that up and then type in TikToks with that.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  In water, in the water.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  In a TikToks. Okay, in water? No, that works, that works. Uh oh.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Well.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Megalophobia.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Megalophobia.

• 46:00Speaker 00

  Or megalophobia, probably.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  See, I don't, I don't.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  Cause the megalodon is not megalodon.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  There's some big ass shit that I'm like, ah.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  This one.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Ah!

• 46:06Speaker 02

  That one.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's crazy, bro.

• 46:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is fucking, oh, it's like those ones where it's like.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  No, no, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. It's those, dude.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  Those are not that bad, because it looks like it's just a statue.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  It would be scary if I like was swimming and then underwater I look over and there's a fucking face.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  Big face statue, I'd be chill.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  If it were like, just like a... You know how like the, like, Japanese anime monsters, you know what I'm talking about, they're just like... And they got like the teeth, like the guy from the gorillas?

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  And like, you could count all the teeth, cause they're all separated.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:37Speaker 00

  You know what I'm saying? Pick that one, that says like, level one, medi- easy, level two, medium, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those will fucking ruin your day.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Alright, let's watch this.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Is volume up? Nope.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 46:46Speaker 00

  We don't need volume, honestly.

• 46:47Speaker 01

  We don't need volume, cause we're all terrified.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Got you, okay.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  If I saw that, though, like a giant sea penis with teeth, I'm fucking never swimming again.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, I, chances are I'm not gonna be getting down that far anyways.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Oh, it's got a cute tail, though.

• 46:59Speaker 00

  Fear of big ob-

• 47:00Speaker 01

  It's got a cute tail, it's got like a seal tail.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Fear of big objects, level one, easy. That's just a ship. Who's afraid of a ship with ship containers on it?

• 47:08Speaker 01

  A shipping container?

• 47:09Speaker 00

  Ah! Scary. Level two, medium, that's, like, this is not.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  It's just a big ship.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Now we're, I think, uh, trigger warning for people that I guess have this thing.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  That's a good point.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  Okay, that's just a big ship with a chain?

• 47:23Speaker 01

  This looks cool, I would grab onto that chain.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would be pumped.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  I will say, this is a big ship. Okay, this is just ship porn. They tricked us into this.

• 47:30Speaker 00

  They tricked us into ships! It's just, like, ships.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  That's getting there.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  That would be cool.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  That would be cool.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  To me, this is not extreme at all, though.

• 47:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, why is he cross-eyed, first of all? That's the scariest part, is that you look over and this guy's just like, huh?

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Wait, hold on, you see the face on the side? Go to the right, what's that? Click on that, click on that.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  Click it, click it, click it.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Oh, go click on, yeah!

• 47:51Speaker 00

  Click on, it shifts again, oh, he fell!

• 47:53Speaker 01

  Oh, shit!

• 47:54Speaker 00

  Oh, shit.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 47:55Speaker 00

  Oh, no!

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 47:56Speaker 00

  Oh, see, this is...

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  This is not it, I'm actually terrified of this.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause now I don't, I don't like the... Okay, there's a man. Look to your side. I don't like, I don't wanna watch this.

• 48:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is a good one.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  I don't like this.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  This is a good one, where you're just like, alright, look at the propeller.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Why would you hang out near the propellers, dude?

• 48:14Speaker 00

  Well, because clearly it's rusted and not moving, and then you have an anglerfish and you're like, what are you doing all the way up here?

• 48:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, the anglerfish is not supposed to be there.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  And then the point. Ah!

• 48:26Speaker 01

  That's fucking, holy shit. That...

• 48:34Speaker 01

  And now we're getting sucked into the engine! Dude, fuck the... Are you kidding me? The engine would be doing me a favor.

• 48:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would pray to get chopped up.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Jumping into the engine, dude, hold on, keep going.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Click another one, bitch. Come on, come on.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Oh, you wanna see the ending? Yeah, yeah, I know you don't, you scared little bitch, no?

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Oh, and the boat's gone.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  I don't fuck with that, bro. I do not fuck with that in a slightest.

• 48:59Speaker 00

  Play another, play another, play another, play another.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, yeah.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  Honest show. All the chairs, bro, the Titanic is gone, it's insane.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  No, no, no, not again!

• 49:08Speaker 00

  No!

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Go back to the face.

• 49:10Speaker 00

  Go back to the Asian one.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  We lost the face!

• 49:11Speaker 00

  There was an Asian looking one.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Oh, go to that one.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah!

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Go to that one, off the side of the ship.

• 49:15Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah!

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, go to that one. Oh, I don't like that, that's like a little girl.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Choose your interests, skip it.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  Oh, that's kinda... That's not scary, that's just stupid.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  I think this one was really, this one was really it.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  Go to the one to the left, what's the other one?

• 49:29Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 49:30Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, mm, too fake.

• 49:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't really care much for that one.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  Um, it's getting worse, so get away.

• 49:36Speaker 00

  The smile doesn't help. This is a banger, this one.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was fucked, that fucked me.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  What?

• 49:43Speaker 01

  I don't like it at all.

• 49:44Speaker 00

  Oh, that was a good one. Oh, no, but this is just a, this is just a statue. Like, this, I'm not that-

• 49:50Speaker 01

  But that would also very freak me out, which is not a sentence. I would be freaked out, how did that get there? That's what I mean.

• 49:57Speaker 00

  They sank.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  And also, what are they talking about here? You know what I mean? There's like four of them in a, in a-

• 50:01Speaker 00

  Ow!

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Didn't love that! At all!

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Why are you gagging?

• 50:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Oh my god, the statue's face is fucking moved! Why the fuck?

• 50:17Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  No, that one was not, the first one was way worse. Alright, this is just, this is just fucking Gollum. This isn't that scary.

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Level scary?

• 50:25Speaker 00

  The fuck? That's not that bad. I mean, he's gonna eat him. We know that. Yeah, okay, alright. Honestly, get that close to that idiot.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  This is extreme.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Extreme.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  Sweet gift for being that close.

• 50:36Speaker 00

  That first one was, that was a doozy.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Why are we doing this?

• 50:39Speaker 00

  Cause we're having fun.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  I'm not...

• 50:41Speaker 00

  That's not...

• 50:42Speaker 01

  That's not extreme. Although, that is a pretty extreme. That's a, that's a fucking... Alright, we're done.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  No, do one more scary one. One more super scary one.

• 50:49Speaker 01

  I think we're getting lucky with finding the good ones.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  I know!

• 50:52Speaker 01

  I think we're out.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  Alright, we're good, we're good.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  I think we're out.

• 50:54Speaker 00

  I don't need this shit. Yo, that was terrifying.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  That scared me, bro. For real.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  People, audio only those watching this, they're like, "What the hell is happening?"

• 51:01Speaker 01

  The scream scared me.

• 51:02Speaker 00

  We pulled up scary TikToks, and it was like faces underwater, and they were like, "Eh", you know?

• 51:08Speaker 01

  We're gonna take a quick break for Brett Hollow. God, I'm sweating now. I'm nervous. Uh, but we have some more sponsors. This one being Rocket Money. Okay, Rocket Money is an all-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by finding and canceling unwanted subscriptions. Okay, you go on to their website, or their app, and you, uh, put in your stuff, and then it tells you what you're spending money on every single month, so you can find and cancel those unwanted things. Maybe it's a free trial that you forgot to sign up for, or maybe you're realizing you're paying for this thing that you haven't even used in six months, so you'd rather be saving the money every month. And people are saving some money, okay? I know a lot of people that use this, and when you use all the premium features, you can be saving a bunch of money.

• 51:47Speaker 01

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• 52:29Speaker 01

  And enter the show name, The Basement Yard, in the survey so they know we sent you, okay? Don't wait, download the app today and let them know you heard about it from our show, okay? And then lastly here, we have SeatGeek. SeatGeek, it's number one rated ticketing app in the App Store, okay? There's more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, okay? Even some Basement Yard shows are on there, folks, so here's what it is. Over 28 million downloads, that's a lot. Also, I've used SeatGeek so many times, and if I'm at a baseball game, or a concert, or something like that, and it's summertime, you should get out there. Go let the wind hit your face a little bit, download SeatGeek, take someone nice to something nicer, okay? And we can save you some money.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  You will get 10% off of tickets with the promo code basement2025, okay? So that is 10% off any tickets when you use the code basement2025. So make sure you either click the link in the description, go to the website, or download the app. SeatGeek, basement2025, get that 10% off your tickets, folks, alright? There you go. Cool.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Good lord.

• 53:34Speaker 00

  When the moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  I love pizza, dude.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  I love a pizza.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  I...

• 53:44Speaker 00

  I had pizza two days ago. I had a bite of one yesterday. But then I went out for dinner, and I say, that's why I was only a bite, I would've had more than that. You had one bite? Literally one singular bite. And then threw it out? No, I gave it to the kid. Oh. I literally... You gave your child a bitten? Yeah. Okay. I was like, "Oh Ruby, this is your..." Yeah, what kind of slice was it? Olives. Just olives? Black olives.

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Love olives on pizza. Olives and pepperoni were my go-to college pizza. If you were paid $1,000 per pizza slice...

• 54:21Speaker 01

  In a year, but you had to eat that amount, right? How many you think you could eat? And if you don't hit that amount, then you owe that money. So if you pick like, let's say you go a hundred slices, you'll get a hundred thousand dollars if you eat a hundred in a year. But if you eat ninety-eight, you don't get anything.

• 54:36Speaker 00

  I don't get any money, I don't get, I don't get just the ninety-eight thousand?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, you'd have to pay the, the difference. So how many can you eat?

• 54:44Speaker 00

  Here's the thing, this, I have to be strategic here because like, I can in a sitting eat five slices. But if I was doing it every day, I'd get over it. My body, I, if I eat too much of the same thing, my body goes, mm-mm.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Just like that?

• 54:59Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, like I'll gag. I can't eat, I can't eat oatmeal.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:04Speaker 00

  Hot oatmeal, I can't have it anymore. Literally, when people eat it around me, I gag. It's disgusting to me because I had it so frequently in college.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  But with pizza?

• 55:14Speaker 01

  How many slices you think you could do in a year realistically?

• 55:17Speaker 00

  Realistically, let's break this down. Fifty-two weeks in a year. I think I could.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  I mean, it's three hundred and sixty-five days. Definitely easier to go by days. Excuse me.

• 55:27Speaker 00

  I would say by weeks, because you could just do the amount on weeks, because if you're going by days, then you need to have one per day.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  I mean, that's one way to look at it.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  Or you can have one every, you can have every three days have five. You know what I'm saying? Like?

• 55:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  Like, instead of doing one per day, it'll be a lot easier for your body to be like.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  So you could eat ten a week?

• 55:48Speaker 00

  I think I can eat ten slices of pizza a week.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  So your answer is like five hundred?

• 55:52Speaker 00

  I think, I'm gonna go seven hundred. I feel like that is.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Seven hundred slices?

• 55:57Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  That's like two a day.

• 56:01Speaker 00

  No.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  It's more than two a day.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  No.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  It's not more than two a day.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  It's just under two a day.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:10Speaker 00

  I, but I think I could do like on Monday have four.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 56:14Speaker 00

  On Thursday have four.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  That's eight.

• 56:17Speaker 00

  And then Saturday have four.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  That's insane.

• 56:21Speaker 00

  I think I could.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Sixteen a week?

• 56:24Speaker 00

  And then if I don't have-

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Remember, if you don't, if you eat six hundred and ninety-nine.

• 56:28Speaker 00

  By the way, that was twelve a week that I just said, four, four, four.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  That was twelve a week and that would only equal six hundred twenty-four slices. So you, you would owe-

• 56:38Speaker 02

  You would owe seventy-six thousand dollars.

• 56:40Speaker 00

  But I think like the fir- like the back half, I would like kick in a high gear. That back month, I'd be like, we gotta-

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Bro, seven hundred is a s- yeah, crazy answer.

• 56:50Speaker 00

  Too much?

• 56:50Speaker 01

  What would you say?

• 56:53Speaker 02

  To be safe, probably four hundred. I think it's a-

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Four hundred slices?

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I think that's a responsible answer. If I'm going irresponsible-

• 57:00Speaker 01

  And these are full slices. They're not like fucking little domino personal pie slices.

• 57:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. But like, do you get extra money if there's toppings on it? So like, if I do pepperoni, is it like a thousand and one, is it eleven hundred dollars a slice?

• 57:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  Because that adds, I mean, all that meat adds to it.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  I mean, that's just up to you. You gotta make it different so you can get through seven hundred slices.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  Do pizza bagels give me like fifty cents or, or five hundred bucks?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  How many slices do you think you just eat a year anyway? Like, you're not really paying attention to this, obviously. You're not getting paid, but how many slices do you think you eat a year?

• 57:33Speaker 00

  I would say fifty.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Fifty slices?

• 57:36Speaker 00

  Yeah. Cause I don't have it that often.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  It's high.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  You think, you think, I, I don't have it that often. And like, but when I do have it, I'll have like four or five slices.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Right. But you gotta just think like-

• 57:50Speaker 00

  So if I'm doing it once a month-

• 57:51Speaker 02

  That would be just-

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Once a month would be, that would be sixty right there.

• 57:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's if I have it once a month.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  You don't think you have pizza once a month?

• 58:04Speaker 00

  I would say once a month.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  So, alright, sixty. So, yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  I think, I, I think, uh, damn, I don't know.

• 58:16Speaker 00

  Well, this is moneybags over here. He'd be like, I owe how much? I don't care. It's, it's good debt. I'll take, I'll take that debt.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  No, I'm making this very easy. I would say, not very easy, but I would say, uh-

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Three hundred. Make three hundred K.

• 58:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think I'll, I'll recant my seven hundred.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Seven hundred's a fucking crazy answer.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  I think I would say three fifty. If we're gonna go like, if we would have to bid for who would get, well, you had four hundred?

• 58:45Speaker 01

  I did have four hundred.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  Oh, so then I'll, I'll say four hundred and one.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  I would probably like, when, when it's time to eat pizza. Four hundred and one. When it's time to eat pizza, I would probably like send it.

• 58:58Speaker 00

  If I was doing, I would have it twice a week. In order to like, put some distance in between when I'm having it. And I would do like, Sunday and Thursday.

• 59:09Speaker 00

  And eat as much as I can of both of those, of pizza on both of those days.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  I don't know that I would get sick of one slice a day. Think about that, when's the last time you ate one slice? It's, it's nothing.

• 59:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's a thing. It's like you wouldn't be able to have just one slice. Cause then you'd want another, and then the next day you'd be like, fuck, now I need to have two slices.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  I don't know, I can eat one, I don't have to eat one a day, if I'm doing three hundred. And neither do you, if you're doing three fifty. So like, I could eat one a day and I'm like, blowing it out of the water. And I don't think that's that hard. I'm giving myself fifty day, uh, sixty-five days of grace.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  I think my probable strategy with this is I would front load heavy the first two months. Heavy. I'm talking get as much as I can in those first two months. And then, ah, that's, that third month, maybe every, every three days, four day, front two, back two, heavy loads. Heavy loads at the top and the bottom. And then in between is just kinda play slices.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not a bad, it's not a bad strat. I would probably try to keep a baseline of like, one a day. But then like, if it's like, you go to your friend's house, like, oh, we're just gonna order pizza, I'd be like, yo, get an extra pie, I'm going fucking bonkers now. So I could give myself a break.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  And now we're doing standard extra large pies, right? Or large pies, we're not doing like, obviously we can't do like, small personal pies.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  No, no, no, we're doing a pizza slice.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  I do think there should be something in there for personal pies are, are only five hundred dollars.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm not wasting a, a bite of pizza. I'm eating a regular slice.

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  I mean, I would probably switch it up. Like, I wouldn't only have-

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd get grandma, square, oh, but square is thicker.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Does grandma count? Cause I could beat the shit out of a grandma.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  If there's no cheese on this thing, that's the other thing.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  Oh my god. That's not what I meant.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  That's the other thing. If there's no, if I could do cheeseless slices, now we're in fucking trouble.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Chee- bread? You wanna eat bread?

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  No, I'm saying like a grandma slice, where it's just like-

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  There's cheese.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  Or, alright, so whatever it is where it's just sauce on top.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  There's cheeseless slices.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  I'm getting crazy now.

• 1:01:25Speaker 00

  I think.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  I don't think the cheese is the issue.

• 1:01:27Speaker 00

  I think, come January 1st, we should keep a legitimate tally.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  Of how many slices?

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  Of how many slices. Or, how about this?

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  This kid would win.

• 1:01:38Speaker 00

  I know, cause he's a fucking freak.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  He's a freak-

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  He is.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  Where he's just like, "Oh, we got, we ordered nineteen pies to the house yesterday." "I stayed up for sixty hours straight, eating every single slice."

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  And I streamed it, yeah, I can't.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  And I streamed it, and then I fucking played Mario Kart until my fingertips resembled a penis.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  If we, if we, that was an interesting detail. Um, if we did January 1st for the entire year, and we're like, "Yo, whoever eats the most pizza gets ten G's." Yeah, I know you're gonna win. That's the thing, I wouldn't even wanna compete. I feel like we would probably be-

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  I think we should exclude him.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Oh, see, this is the problem with winning.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  You should give us odds then.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  You're right.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Cause I know that, this is the problem with winning. You're just, you're just, I just, you know-

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  I think, honestly, I don't even think if it were-

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Ant would win by fucking March.

• 1:02:21Speaker 00

  I know, because he, cause he's a freak. He's a freak, he's committed. Ant is one of the few people I've met in my life, and this is an absolute compliment, that is almost as committed to the bit as I am. If not, in some cases, way more committed to the bit.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think he's way more-

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Bro, he before, when, when you stepped out, he's like, "Yo, we drank all the alcohol in our house." I'm like, "That's so much alcohol, dude."

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  I don't know what that has to do with the bit.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  Well, I'm saying, like, you were committed to drinking, and you didn't.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  Right. Well, it's a whole thing that's going on, yeah.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  I, I understand, it's a whole thing.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  I think you, more than anyone I've ever met in my life, if I was like- If you, like, if, like, will you do, like, a hypothetical can be real.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 00

  Not only real, but you'll do it that evening. Like, the whole, like, can you tread water for an hour in a suit jacket?

• 1:03:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was like, an example.

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  You did that, that night.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  Also, if I was like, yo, do you think you could drink a case of Bud Lights in an hour? I feel like you would do it.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  That's really hard.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, he doesn't like you would do it. If I said, could you drink, could you drink a 12-pack of fucking

• 1:03:25Speaker 00

  Surf Sides in an hour?

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, I could do that with ease.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, you'd be in-

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  An hour's crazy.

• 1:03:30Speaker 00

  Honestly, you'd be in, you'd be in pretty rough shape.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  I'd be incoherent.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, incoherent.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  Throwing up mess.

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  You're throwing up mess. You, you wouldn't be throwing up, because you'd have a tube shoved down your throat, pumping it out.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  First of all, my heart would explode. There's fucking caffeine in there.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:45Speaker 00

  It's tea.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  I just think, I love you, Ant, we have to exclude you. So I think, we should, come January 1st, you and I, just start a pizza-

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Pizza counter.

• 1:03:58Speaker 00

  A pizza counter. And we need to agree, it has to be, if you choose to put toppings on it, that's at your own discretion.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:06Speaker 00

  It needs to be legitimate slices. It can't be little Domino's, it can't be Bagel Bites, it can't be Pizza Pockets. It needs to be legitimate slices.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Pizza Pockets would be crazy.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  My plan would, if we did this, to be, oh, I'll have so many pizzas the first month that you guys won't want to do it.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I already know, like, that's why, immediately when I said this, I was like, I would quit so fast. Because, Ant, by the end of January, you'd be like, I got 50. And I'd be like, I'm not even gonna get close to that.

• 1:04:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, no, I, I fully agree that it would not be fun for anyone but you. And even then, it probably won't be very fun, because you would be in rough shape.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  There's no way I could commit to a year of this either.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll, I'll start losing things.

• 1:04:46Speaker 00

  Well, you gotta understand, you're up against, first of all, if we're being really fucking transparent.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  Even if you committed to it, I do think you have to acknowledge that I would eat you under the table.

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  So gay, dude.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do? You gonna eat me under the table, dog? What the fuck?

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  You know what I mean?

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  That's amazing, dude. You gotta admit, I would eat you under the table. And you'd love to. Admit that I would eat you under the table.

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  You have to understand. You have to understand what I meant there.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:33Speaker 00

  You know, I would, I would, I would.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:36Speaker 00

  I would outperform you.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  I bel- I believe that.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  I'm just a good eater.

• 1:05:41Speaker 00

  It's just. I'm a good eater. I'm hungry all the time and I'm a good eater.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:48Speaker 00

  And I think you have to acknowledge that if it came to most eating competitions, I would beat you.

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Prob- probably.

• 1:05:58Speaker 00

  Why did I say that like Oliver Twist?

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  Prob- probably.

• 1:06:00Speaker 00

  Probably. And Winnie the Pooh over here.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  Fuck, yeah. Why am I talking like fucking Harry Potter's aunt? Probably.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Um, yeah, props.

• 1:06:11Speaker 00

  He had to cool it up. You saw that? He had to cool it. Yeah, props. Probably. Yeah, props.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  I'm saying it like a fucking British orphan.

• 1:06:18Speaker 00

  I think, you know. We also tried to do, we, we won't do this, because last time we tried to do an eating competition, I ended up in the hospital midway through the summer.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:06:31Speaker 00

  I mean, but that's committing to the fucking bit, bitch.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  I don't think com- competition was ever... We weren't competing.

• 1:06:38Speaker 00

  We were. It was a competition.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  Excited for summer.

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  It was a competition. Did you hear about this? The first year that we coined the term dog second season, we committed to during the summer, eating as many dogs as we could, and every time we recorded, coming in with an update. One of us by July, we started this in Memorial Day, one of us by July was at 25. One of us.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  They had like six?

• 1:07:07Speaker 00

  One of us. Can't you, indistinguishable as to who it was, ended up in the hospital.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  What were you in the hospital for?

• 1:07:16Speaker 00

  Wha- who said me?

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Someone was in.

• 1:07:18Speaker 00

  You're violating HIPAA laws by sharing that information if it's true.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  What was someone in the hospital for?

• 1:07:25Speaker 00

  Uh, health-related illness.

• 1:07:29Speaker 00

  That could best be described as not very good.

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  I think there's a, there's a clear, clear.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  Clear, is it clear?

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Reason as to how you ended up there.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  Is it clear? Is it? I don't think it's as clear as you might think there Joey.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  The doctor's like, so have there, has there been any like changes to your diet?

• 1:07:50Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Hot dogs. I had a hot dog bowl.

• 1:07:56Speaker 00

  A hot dog bowl, what's a hot dog bowl?

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  It's a little hot dog.

• 1:07:59Speaker 00

  Big ol', big ol', bread.

• 1:08:03Speaker 00

  I just, I think that even I could beat you, I've proved it.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm, I'm not disputing.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  Twenty-five hot dogs by July, whoever did that between us, that's pretty impressive, no?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, impressive's a word.

• 1:08:20Speaker 00

  Correct. You're, a- a- as if you wouldn't be twenty-five by the end of the weekend.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  I'd be twenty-six, come on. I don't think that you could beat him. Don't, don't start, you can't get me like that.

• 1:08:32Speaker 00

  No, but like in a controlled environment, I think he beats you. Over the course of a year, like, we're just not gonna commit that long. But in a single seeding?

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe.

• 1:08:38Speaker 00

  Do we do a basement yard hot dog off?

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 1:08:41Speaker 00

  You go dog for dog?

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  I, I gotta really.

• 1:08:43Speaker 00

  Show me your dog and it's off time.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  I have a bad throat, I can't.

• 1:08:52Speaker 00

  Who needs a good one? Well, it, it, I mean, you, you need to be a throat goat in order to download glizzies.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  And you're the best.

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  Well, I'm not, I'm not called the gizzy.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  Hello, what are you called though?

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  He's not called the gizzy.

• 1:09:11Speaker 00

  I'm not claw, clawed, the glizzy gladiator with the throat goat coat, throat goat load, coat load for nothing.

• 1:09:21Speaker 01

  The ship is sinking fast, ladies and gentlemen.

• 1:09:25Speaker 00

  Show the megalophobia videos again.

• 1:09:27Speaker 01

  You're watching in real time, the ship is going down.

• 1:09:29Speaker 00

  Wake us up!

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  It's getting hot in here.

• 1:09:31Speaker 00

  That's actually a great point. I think that, I mean, you saw me in, in an episode, I would, with, when we had our hot dog friend here, I did four, five, right?

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  Props.

• 1:09:40Speaker 00

  And that was with dressing. That was with sauerkraut. If we're going straight dog and ketchup, you might be in trouble there, big buddy.

• 1:09:48Speaker 01

  At a baseball game? If you had to do, if you had to do, well, I mean, you don't drink beer, right? So what do you drink at baseball games?

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Jameson.

• 1:09:59Speaker 00

  Dude, shut, shut the fucking cameras off.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  You are literally-

• 1:10:02Speaker 00

  I'm gonna jump over there and fucking strangle you.

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  You're at a baseball game and you get Jameson and what?

• 1:10:08Speaker 00

  The, the smack of the bat and the ball meeting, the clap of the glove and the ball meeting, the, the absolute spanking of the balls and the ass meeting.

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  Does anyone know where he was going with that? What, so what do you drink, what do you order?

• 1:10:28Speaker 00

  It's time for a Jameson.

• 1:10:32Speaker 01

  Jameson and what?

• 1:10:33Speaker 02

  Uh, Jameson seltzer splash of ginger ale.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  At a baseball game?

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  There is such a thing-

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Why do they have it in the building?

• 1:10:40Speaker 00

  As the right drink in the wrong place. And that is the perfect example.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  That's the right drink in nowhere.

• 1:10:48Speaker 00

  No, that's a good, I can see that being a tasty drink. I have no quarrels with the drink. I have issues with where you're consuming it.

• 1:10:54Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what, same thing at the next game.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  Ugh.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  I feel like sporting events is beer. It's beer.

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  It's beer. Or it's like,

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  a marg.

• 1:11:08Speaker 00

  Or it's beer.

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  Why is a, what's a marg any different?

• 1:11:12Speaker 00

  But marg is an outdoor drink. No one is in their right mind in the sun saying, "Give me Jameson."

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  You're, you're drinking a whiskey cocktail.

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  That's, you're, you're correct.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  You have to be surrounded by like-

• 1:11:23Speaker 00

  That's like if I were to go out on the beach and order an Old Fashioned.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 1:11:27Speaker 00

  You'd say, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  That's wild. But if you're at a restaurant or you're surrounded by wood, then you can get an Old Fashioned. But if I'm in the sand, you can't get an Old Fashioned. Can't drink red wine.

• 1:11:37Speaker 00

  Watch this, watch this. I'm gonna name the drink, Joey's gonna give it thumbs up, thumbs down for being outdoors, okay? Watch this. Pina Colada.

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Come on. Absolutely.

• 1:11:46Speaker 00

  Margarita.

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  Guinness.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Am I at the beach?

• 1:11:54Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:11:56Speaker 00

  But you're outside.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  Am I sitting on wood?

• 1:11:59Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:11:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  You like that? Straight whiskey, neat.

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  That's indoors. That's indoors, and it's winter. I mean, you could drink that in a flask outside if you hate yourself. But you can't drink it if you live a good life. Outside.

• 1:12:17Speaker 00

  A porter.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  Nowhere.

• 1:12:21Speaker 00

  I don't like porters. I love porters. Do you? I love porters, dude. Oh, my God. Porters and stouts. So good.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  I don't like them.

• 1:12:27Speaker 00

  It's just a deep, rich flavor profile. I love it.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  What, are you doing a commercial here?

• 1:12:31Speaker 00

  I mean, if they wanted. Just a deep, fresh. One of the best. Complex. I don't know if it's still around. I hope it is, but it's from Connecticut. Back East Brewing. Best porter I've ever had in my entire life.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  You heard it here, here, here, here, here. It's too hot in here and I can't, I can't.

• 1:12:48Speaker 00

  You can.

• 1:12:49Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 1:12:50Speaker 00

  But don't.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Right. Well. This episode's been fun, ladies and gentlemen. I think the wheels have fully fallen off at the moment. Uh, Frank, where can they find? You're in a sweater? That's insane.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Unbelievable. The way your body regulates temperature is insanely impressive.

• 1:13:05Speaker 00

  I'm actually pretty comfortable. I'm oddly enough, I'm more comfortable in this than I was before in a t-shirt.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  I'm definitely a big sweat boy, so I would not be, I'd be covered in water.

• 1:13:13Speaker 00

  Big sweat boy is getting eaten under the table.

• 1:13:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:17Speaker 00

  You know where to find me, The Frank Alvarez, all across social media. Then make sure you go check out The Basement Yard all across social media. Check out the Patreon account, patreon.com/thebasementyard. I told you guys earlier how to save some money if you want to join our Patreon. You can do it by going to the, uh, the address on a web browser instead of using the app. And then if you're coming to any of our future shows, make sure you go to thebasementyard.com/submit. Submit your stories and maybe we'll talk to you about you with you. And also, there's still some tickets available for some of these shows, so go check it out at thebasementyard.com. And, uh, we're excited to continue. Uh, as this comes out, we have, uh, some August shows left. We have September, October, November, ending in Madison Square Garden. Still crazy, so go check it out at thebasementyard.com.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Yep, you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato and everything that Frank said, and that is all.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Aunt, where can they find you?

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, where can they find you? Where can they find you?

• 1:14:09Speaker 00

  Aunt Prisco on Instagram.

• 1:14:12Speaker 04

  Are we all better now?

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  Ew dude, ew, never again. Can't win.

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  Can't win. That's all, we'll see you guys next time.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

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