#203 - Michael Che

Michael Che joins the pod to discuss his new special SHOT IN MINNESOTA (out now on Netflix), offering sage wisdom to friends, finding out what the group thread says about you, brutal pre-fame jobs, having six other siblings, the nagging persistent urge to keep working, his first drink, and much more. Michael and Stav help callers including a woman dating a TikTok doctor who's lying about his age, and a man on a diet whose wife is acting like he has an eating disorder. Watch Michael Che's new special SHOT IN MINNESOTA out now on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82816770 Follow Michael Che: https://www.michaelche.com/ https://www.instagram.com/chethinks Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Ridge - https://www. Ridge.com/STAVVY Cash App - Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Click here to get started: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N. A., pursuant to a license from Visa U. S. A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement), Sutton debit flex card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton), and Bancorp debit flex card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp). Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎤 Watch Uncle Stav on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld 🎟️ See Stavvy live!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stobbys World 904-800-STOP. Call in, call the visible hotline, we'll solve all your problems. And today, we're very happy on the couch to have the great Michael Che. Che, thanks for being here, dog.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, did you like the intro?

• 1:20Speaker 03

  I do like it. What do you mean, do people actually call in?

• 1:22Stavros Halkias?

  They're voicemails.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  Oh, for real?

• 1:24Stavros Halkias?

  So, we will be answering voicemails the second half of the program.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Oh, dope.

• 1:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We will be getting, we'll be getting your, the wisdom you've acquired over the years, and we'll get it to the people. Are you a big advice guy?

• 1:37Speaker 03

  No, I'm not.

• 1:38Stavros Halkias?

  I don't feel, as someone who's so successful, I feel like no one goes to, like, your loved ones, they go to you for advice, or they're like?

• 1:44Speaker 03

  People do come to me for advice, actually, but it's never like, it's more, I think they come to me for judgment.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  I think they want me to say what they know no one's going to tell them in a lot of ways. In a loving way, though. I don't think it's really advice, though. I hope it's not.

• 2:03Stavros Halkias?

  So, they're asking, you think you, in the, for a lot of people's lives, you're the figure that's like, you're the harsh, they will hear harsh truths from you, is that what you think, what you're saying?

• 2:14Speaker 03

  If they need to.

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Like, I think, I like, I hope, I hope so.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  I think that's what I want to be, maybe that's not true.

• 2:22Stavros Halkias?

  You're projecting this.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm the worst person to ask, like, you always, you always, you never know who you actually are to your friends until

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  you're roast.

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's a tough one when you're like, well, obviously, I'm respected in my friend group, and then you just hear them talking about you.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, then you know what the inside joke is, and you're like, what the fuck? So, yeah, I don't know, I guess I really don't know. I'm not even gonna guess, because now I'm the guy that thinks I'm that. That's even worse. It's so much worse to think of that.

• 2:53Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I'm sort of a sage, tells people what they need to hear.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  I keep it real, all my friends.

• 3:01Stavros Halkias?

  No bullshit from me.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Now, I'm in the, in the separate group chat.

• 3:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the separate group chat's tough.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, you gotta know that, you have to know, there's, there's a few things as a, as a human being, you have to know, whoever you're dating wants to have sex with someone else.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  And there's a group chat without you in it on purpose. And if you can't accept that.

• 3:26Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, that second one's way tougher than the first one. Of course, they want to fuck somebody other than me. They don't come to me for the sex.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, sex is not, that's not my go-to either.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's part of it, you know what I mean? I would say I'm right in the middle, but the positives are on there.

• 3:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny, dude. Yeah, I don't know, I'm trying to think what group chats I've possibly been excluded, probably work, back in the day.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  Probably.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Why? I feel like you would be the guy, like, you would be the guy that everybody wants to dish with.

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  You know what, that's actually true, because I was so bad at being an employee, that my value was fully locker room guy.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  Every, like, I, we're going out on two-hour lunches, I know right when, I know when the boss comes in, I know when we can skip.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  There's nothing like in any job, having a fuck-this-job friend.

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Like, there's no, like, as long as we agree about fuck-this-job, anything else is, is, is up for grabs, we can say whatever we want, but fuck this job.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  100%, that's a, we understand, we have like a, a baseline understanding of what our philosophy about life is.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 4:36Stavros Halkias?

  When you, when someone's, when you're at a fucking shitty job, and someone's like, worried about their performance.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:43Stavros Halkias?

  When you're like, when you have a college job.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I remember working the front desk at the, like, reception area at my fucking do, apartment, dorm, whatever, and I remember, like, a girl I was working with was, like, filing things fast and, like, scared, and she was like, you should really finish those reports, I was like,

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  what if I get fired? That'd be awesome.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:01Stavros Halkias?

  Who fucking cares?

• 5:02Speaker 03

  Also, like, they're just gonna give us more to file.

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  We're never gonna beat this thing.

• 5:08Stavros Halkias?

  There's no time when we're done, and they're just, all right, well, here's your money for the whole year.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not, it's not gonna happen. I hate it now, like, I hate it when people are too good at their job.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Now. And I'm like, you know, listen, like, when I don't work there. No, no, even when I don't work there.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  Or you're like, at a hotel.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Like, if I'm doing, like, if I'm doing, like, a, like, a charity show, like, a charity, charity's fucked up.

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  When I'm doing the most annoying part of my life, charity.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  But you know, you know what I mean, like, when you're doing, like, a show or something like that, and it's just like, hey, you need this lemon, you're like, no, I don't, would you relax?

• 5:45Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, yes, the overzealous, the overzealous guard.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  In any situation.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Stop trying to win your job, bro. Let's, come on.

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  I know the only time, I, I really don't ever, you know, because this, I just feel like, my career and, like, most of it in show business, you hit a lottery, I'm never mean to anybody at a theater, whatever, but there was one time where a guy was just like, I need, you do not have the clearance, and it's like, dog, how many people look like this?

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  This fucking face is just on, big as fuck on the side of this building.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not snee, I didn't, like, do a Mission Impossible mask of this face.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is what you think I've.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  To take my rotisserie chicken from my rider, that's not what I'm trying to steal.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't, I didn't want a fruit tray.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  I don't like when people are too good at a bad job.

• 6:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  I'm like, come on, that's, and, and I, and I respect that, because I know there's a downside, like, there's places where, like, I just won't eat fast food, like, I'll take a look, and I'll say, they're not good at their job, they don't want to be good at their job, I'm not gonna eat here, I'm gonna go someplace where someone actually cares about my White Castle, so I don't get sick.

• 6:55Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, I heard the eye roll through the fucking.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know it, you're like, they're, they're, they're fucking around, they're playing hockey with the burgers, I know it.

• 7:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  I know it, so fuck it.

• 7:05Stavros Halkias?

  Did you have, what's the, because you were somebody who, what was, like, your last real job?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  I don't know my last real job.

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Because, like, I feel like, what?

• 7:15Speaker 03

  I think, because I always had, I was, I also had, like, a lot of, like, really shitty, like, bar back, or like, waiter for a week, or like, that type of shit, you know?

• 7:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  There were, like, shitty, I used to do this one job that was, like, door-to-door, getting people, like, change their energy, whatever.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  And it was definitely a scam.

• 7:41Stavros Halkias?

  Fully a scam.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  Fully a scam, commission job, like, just tricking old people, not knowing what it was, I'm actually buying into the fucking seminar.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're doubling the people.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Wow, really? We could do that? But it was scary, it was fucking scary, because you're going in the project buildings, like, projects you're not from.

• 8:01Stavros Halkias?

  You're right.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  And you're starting from the top and knocking on everybody's door, going all the way down, for like, 25 bucks commission for everybody you get to change, and you're knocking on somebody's door in a project, you don't know who's on the other side of that door. You don't know what's on the other side of that door.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  That could not be a family, it could be a family, it could be, you know, just some old grandma that you're tricking, like, it's just, it's just such a mean-spirited way to make money.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever trick an old person?

• 8:25Speaker 03

  I don't think, I think I may have tricked, well, not knowing that I was tricking, but.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right, sure.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  I may have converted, like, four people in a week.

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  And I probably made, like, $200.

• 8:39Stavros Halkias?

  For a week's worth.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  For a week's worth, and it probably took me, like, four weeks to get that $200. It's a pyramid scheme, it's like, it's like one of them shitty Village Voice jobs that you circle. That was, like, one of those things when I was like, I gotta start taking my life seriously.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  And what age is this?

• 8:55Speaker 03

  This is probably, like, 24, 23.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's when I started trying to do shit.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's interesting, too, because you grew up here, you grew up in New York, and when you're like that, like, I feel like when you want to move here, and you're not from here, it's like, you have to go through that, you kind of have to save up money, you have to figure shit out, but when you're just here, it's kind of a nice advantage, where you could just still keep being who you were.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Well, the advantage to me was the network, I have a family, I have a built-in network, so there's always, hey, you want to work at such-and-such, oh, I know somebody that works at, you know what I mean, whatever. So, like, that's a huge advantage to people that move here for show business, and also the layout of New York, like, I know how to get around.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  I know what seems like, you know, a sketchy spot and a good spot.

• 9:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  I'm kind of familiar with the layout, so that was easier, but other than that, I mean, I grew up, we was poor, so.

• 9:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right, right.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  We're, we're still chasing the same dollars, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just as easy, I'm just as susceptible to having to do some bullshit as anybody else, you know what I mean?

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I would have, but I, if I, my mom lives here, I'd be living with my mom, like, still, you know what I mean, like?

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Well, that, my mom made sure that wasn't an option.

• 10:13Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I see, I see.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  You were booted?

• 10:17Speaker 03

  When I was 14.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  And then, and then again at 16, and then again at 19.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Respect for keep trying, though.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  And that was the last time.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  I respect you kept sneaking in.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  I kept trying, yeah, it was like a real bad franchise.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, it was kind of.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you had, did, do you have, like, a hilarious amount of siblings, how many?

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Hilarious, what the fuck?

• 10:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's so many, right?

• 10:43Speaker 03

  My mother's a Christian.

• 10:45Stavros Halkias?

  But come on, dude, what is it? Six, seven?

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Six siblings.

• 10:50Stavros Halkias?

  Six is.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  That's not a hilarious.

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's a hilarious amount, that's Amish amount.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Seven?

• 10:56Stavros Halkias?

  Seven, yes.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 10:58Stavros Halkias?

  You think seven's a normal amount of fucking kids to have in a house?

• 11:00Speaker 03

  That's, yo, there's people that have, like, 11, 9, 14.

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck are you talking about?

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Catholics.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  They're building, no, that's past Ca, well.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  No, you bugging, that's like, that's, yo, Catholics would be like, 9, 14, right? Elders?

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  9, 14?

• 11:14Speaker 03

  His name's Elders.

• 11:15Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  I know he got a lot of brothers and sisters.

• 11:17Stavros Halkias?

  He only one sister.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  Actually, they only have one sister.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  One?

• 11:20Speaker 04

  One sibling.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  And the second crack, they did, they chose Elders?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I thought they ran out.

• 11:29Stavros Halkias?

  All right, let's get, let's have, let's do a fun one.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Second, Elvis, god damn.

• 11:36Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he's named after, it's a portmanteau of two different women's names.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's named after his mother, Elmyra.

• 11:43Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  And his grandmother, Yaldees.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 11:45Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  That's sweet.

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's cute. And he got both of their, he got their hips, too, if you see him. He does have a beautiful hourglass figure.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  How many kids do you have?

• 11:55Speaker 04

  I just had my first.

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Just the one.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Oh, beautiful.

• 11:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, shout out to the boy.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  I had to get myself that.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  Don't give yourself the awe.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  The worst sitcom awe ever. Eleven people at your sitcom, bro.

• 12:13Stavros Halkias?

  The awe is so funny, Eldis. Ah, Halloween, the spooky season. Always a good excuse to get the craziest people you know together and see what happens. And if you're throwing an eight wean party this year, turn those good times into great times with Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea, you know, it's a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It tastes like real brewed tea because it's brewed with it, man. Twisted Tea goes down so smooth, no pesky carbonation, so it's easy to drink all day long. That's what they want us to tell you. Want a little something for everyone? Grab a Twisted Tea Party Pack. Original, half and half, peach and raspberry flavors. I'm a peach man myself, what can I say?

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows, maybe this year you want to go as Twisted Tea for Halloween. That's your business. Twisted Tea, keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Must be 21 plus. Please drink responsibly. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply. Well, we should also say very quickly, you know, Eldis's son is not the only thing, what a, what a segue. We've brought into the world, recently, Michael, you have brought in the special, a special into the world.

• 14:14Stavros Halkias?

  I was trying to segue, in my head, I was like, fuck, I'm on, I'm on to something here.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  We should also say, that's why you started it, we should not say that.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Well, just as Eldis's wife has brought into the world the miracle of a young boy. Mike has brought in an excellent special. It's, it actually is an incredible special, and I am giving it the worst introduction anyone's given anything in the history of the world.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  This is what it deserves, let's be honest.

• 14:42Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yes, ultimately, it's good stand-up comedy.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  It's good stand-up comedy.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Which is like, it's like, it's like, oh wow, you made a good meatball sub.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 14:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, we're not doing any, we're not Michelin star, you know what I mean?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  A very special Maury episode, like, sure.

• 14:56Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Maury, though.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Shout out to Maury. I was just watching Maury before I came here.

• 15:00Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  I don't know how he still gets away with it, but it's great, man.

• 15:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's beautiful.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  It's the best show.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

  My dream is to do, is to take on the mantle and host a You Are Not The Father special.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Really?

• 15:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's my dream in show business. And Family Feud, those are my two, like, Family Feud when I'm 60, when I'm older. Right, I feel like in, in the next couple of years, I could do a You Are Not The Father.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Steve Harvey's not giving up Family Feud.

• 15:24Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I'm gonna have to wait for him to die, which is gonna be like 30, and he's a healthy man.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  He's, he's getting health, it's making him stronger.

• 15:30Stavros Halkias?

  It is making, Family Feud is making him stronger.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  His mustache is getting more and more lush every week. Like, he's, he's fine.

• 15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  He's fine.

• 15:39Stavros Halkias?

  And he's so good at it.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Longer than both of us.

• 15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Look, you know what, that's actually probably true. I'm 37, see, how old is Steve Harvey, Eldis?

• 15:46Speaker 03

  78 years old.

• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Let's do some math, you think 78?

• 15:48Speaker 03

  No, I'm gonna say 60, 68.

• 15:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna say, yeah, go ahead.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  Guess?

• 15:54Stavros Halkias?

  60, well, I don't want to price his right, 69 him, but go ahead.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  He's 69.

• 15:59Stavros Halkias?

  Ah.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Whoa!

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  All right.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  But 70? That's amazing.

• 16:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He'll do it another 10, you think he'll do it when he's 80?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  I think, I think he'll do it forever.

• 16:09Stavros Halkias?

  Until he dies. He'll Bob Barker it.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. Why not?

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Why not? I mean, I, I think men, if they don't retire by about 65, they'll never retire.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Like, I, it's very rare that you see a man just retire, unless he got super rich very early and, and retired about 65.

• 16:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know the, the guy who did the best job of all time is the MySpace guy, Tom. He's out, bro.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Is he loaded, though?

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  He's loaded as fuck. He sold MySpace to fucking, uh, the guy from Fox, Rupert Murdoch, for like $500 million.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  Oh, so he's, then he.

• 16:45Stavros Halkias?

  And you don't hear that motherfucker anywhere.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  All these other AI guys are ruining the world.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  I don't even know his last name.

• 16:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, MySpace Tom, I don't know his last name either. He fuck, I checked in on him recently, he's into photography. He's living a beautiful life in the fuck, in South America, right? He's surfing.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  But that's what I'm saying, he got out early, so he's done, but if he would have stuck around, he's never gonna be done.

• 17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. Are you, are you a guy who will work forever?

• 17:10Speaker 03

  We're, we're, we're done.

• 17:12Stavros Halkias?

  You're, what do you mean, we're done?

• 17:14Speaker 03

  We're, we're doomed, we're going to work forever.

• 17:17Stavros Halkias?

  Both of us.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  We're, we're doomed.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, bro.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but I'm.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  We're doomed. We are not getting out of this shit.

• 17:26Stavros Halkias?

  Really? You don't think you get out?

• 17:27Speaker 03

  No, man.

• 17:28Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want to, or you don't think you have, you're able to?

• 17:31Speaker 03

  We don't have a choice, we don't have a choice. This is just, dude, I did Ron Bennington's podcast.

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  Me too, yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  As he's getting.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  As he's dying, he's getting cancer, yeah, he's doing, he's getting chemo.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  If there was ever a time to retire.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  This guy is still working. He's got a book, like, he has dates on his book, like, he has a schedule to keep up.

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I respect that.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  I love it, but it's terrifying.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's different, though, that, that's getting you through, uh, you know, a tragedy, a, a hard time. Also, I think he's such a good interviewer that it's like a interesting, no one has ever done a podcast with cancer?

• 18:09Speaker 03

  It's not work, it's, it's what he does.

• 18:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you, when you say we're doomed, you mean we're programmed to never be able to stop?

• 18:18Speaker 03

  What we do.

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  You don't think about like a little beach shack?

• 18:22Speaker 03

  We will be the most annoying guy on that fucking island.

• 18:27Stavros Halkias?

  I don't give a fuck, I'm playing.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, but we're still going to be doing a version of this.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  You think?

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Just there. That's how we relax.

• 18:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're saying?

• 18:36Speaker 03

  That's how we rest, that's how we heal, that's how we live, that's all we think about.

• 18:42Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  It's going, and now that podcasts are what they are.

• 18:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  You can do a fucking podcast from anywhere, just be a retirement podcast, but it's gonna be a podcast.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. I guess being Eldis will probably be doing this till we die. Your son will be producing.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm gonna get him started early, gotta get him in the business.

• 18:59Stavros Halkias?

  A nepo podcast producer? We're gonna start having that soon, that's pathetic. Show business is really dead, we're gonna have nepo podcast babies?

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Nepo podcast babies, it's a nightmare.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  That is a nightmare.

• 19:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough. Yeah, do you know who my fucking father is? He produces Are You Garbage?

• 19:21Speaker 03

  You know who my father is?

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know my father is, he uploads Theo Von's MP3s.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  He eats the hottest Korean soup in the world.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  He don't even fucking like Korean soup.

• 19:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man, that's so funny, the types of dickheads we're creating. It used to be, you, you used to have to, you might, used to know.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  You all right, man?

• 19:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm not. I had a B12 shot.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  You were talking about bad podcasts, go.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  You're about to make fun of people for being bad at their jobs.

• 19:56Stavros Halkias?

  You know what, let's table that point.

• 20:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. That's fascinating, so you think you have to do this, you could never just chill?

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, man, I, I say that affectionately doomed, but like, just.

• 20:12Stavros Halkias?

  That sucks, you're quite right.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  It's just, you'll just, you'll just figure out a new way to do it. You'll just figure out how to slow, I mean, look at Carly, like, anybody that you've respected.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  The only one that went away was Eddie, and, and the jury's still out because Eddie's relatively young.

• 20:26Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he went away, but he went away to be the fucking most famous guy in the world.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 20:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's not the same thing.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Exactly, well, I'm saying, it'll just be something else. And he could also, he also teases coming back, you never know.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  I know he keeps teasing it. I want him to, it'd be fucking awesome.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  I think he was really close before the pandemic. Like, when he hosted us to now, he seemed like he was really close.

• 20:45Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, you're right, because wasn't he doing like a documentary too?

• 20:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was doing a documentary.

• 20:49Stavros Halkias?

  Ramp up to it?

• 20:50Speaker 03

  It seemed like, he had like a, a deal, I believe, like a Netflix deal.

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  I don't know if it ever, whatever happened, but I don't know if it's still a thing, but. He seemed pretty close, then the pandemic happened, and then it was like, it shut everybody.

• 21:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's devastating, because I do, sometimes I think about some like, world where I'm just hanging out, I'm not doing shit. But I probably would get bored and like.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Do you really?

• 21:15Stavros Halkias?

  I do, dude, I think about, I think about just having nothing on my fuck, I guess what it, what it really is, it's having nothing on a calendar. It's waking up with no responsibilities, with nothing to do, nothing to deliver. Doesn't that sound nice?

• 21:28Speaker 03

  It sounds amazing only because I'm obsessed with what I do.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  But if I, but if I actually had it, I would feel like, like I failed.

• 21:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Or like I'm not doing enough.

• 21:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Like, I, like, when I have, like, if I have a break coming up, I'm like, oh, man, it's gonna be so good to get that break. But that break is only exciting because I've been working.

• 21:51Stavros Halkias?

  I see.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  But if I wasn't, it's like working out, it's like, you think of your rest part because you're tired and you're sore, but when you've just been resting, you feel out of shape.

• 22:01Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, dude, I don't know. I don't know.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  I guess that was maybe a bad example. I feel like just two fat guys talking about working out.

• 22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right, of course, when you're working out and you're tired.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  It's what I imagined it to be, Stav.

• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, oh, oh, I see, Mike, it's kind of like when, uh, it's kind of like when you're, uh, not drinking.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, right after you run a marathon.

• 22:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. I did love In The Sp, In The Special is great. I loved In The Special, the true.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  I can't believe you actually watched it, that's.

• 22:35Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, are you kidding me?

• 22:36Speaker 03

  I watched yours too, I loved it.

• 22:37Stavros Halkias?

  I appreciate it, dude, thank you. No, I was fucking pumped to see it, because, you know, I do, I will say, as a stand-up fan. Like I moved here in 2014, which is kinda like the year you were blowing. Like, wasn't that like the crazy year for you? 2013, maybe?

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Maybe, yeah.

• 22:53Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, I just remember like

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe about.

• 22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I was a huge fan, still am. And there is a little part when somebody gets an awesome job where you're like, fuck, I wish he just did more stand up.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:04Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? So that's why when you come out with a special, I'm like, hell, yeah, dude.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  It's like, it's crazy now to think about it, cause I've only, this'll be my third one.

• 23:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that is nuts.

• 23:13Speaker 03

  And I feel like I should be at about nine.

• 23:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, we do too many specials now, too. That's another thing. There's special inflation. They feel special when you put them out, I will say that. Because you don't do them. Oh, really?

• 23:25Speaker 03

  No comment.

• 23:26Stavros Halkias?

  You think we should do more?

• 23:28Speaker 03

  No, I think, I think, I think, I think there's way too many specials.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  But I don't wanna be the old fat guy on the couch complaining about what comedy is and.

• 23:38Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's the whole point. You get to be the old guy who complains, dude.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  I wanna be that.

• 23:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's your destiny. Are you kidding me?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  I'm trying not to be that. And I, and I gotta stop myself. I, I see it. I see it all the time. I stop myself from being that fucking old guy that's like, yo, that's not why we started.

• 23:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. That's not what this is about.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  And I'm also like, you know, I'm a, I'm a fucking network sellout anyway.

• 24:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Nobody wants to hear that from me.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Are you kidding me?

• 24:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  So, yeah.

• 24:07Stavros Halkias?

  Only the specials released on Peacock and other, and other NBC Universal properties are good.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah, so I don't, I don't wanna be that guy. But yeah, I agree. I do think, I do think that we kinda turned specials into content.

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Content is such a dirty, dirty, dirty word for my palate.

• 24:36Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. Cause it's just, it's turned specific types of art. They just put it all in one trough. And they're like, what you do doesn't matter. You just have to create for the masses.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  It's just, it's just, it's just fucking billboards and.

• 24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the internet.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Brand, brand placing.

• 24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Like, dude, social media is so smart because they just, they basically created a network where they don't have to pay any of the talent. Where they're just like, yeah, fuck it. You can put, put on fucking free shows for our, and we just have the infrastructure. And we get fucking rich off stealing your data where it's like, it's fa, it's crazy, cause the amount of work people put into their social media now is what used to be a job.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  And now they're just, they've, they've, they've just, they've successfully turned people into robots. And now they're just making new robots that are actually robots that are just more efficient, that they don't have to pay at all. And then it's like, well, you just created your own replacement. It's a very, very strange world we put ourselves in.

• 25:37Stavros Halkias?

  I know. Well, once we get sex robots, it'll all, it'll all even out in the wash.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, at least we got Steve Harvey.

• 25:43Stavros Halkias?

  At least we have, Steve Harvey's gonna do it. No AI, although fuck. Steve Harvey would probably love the AI himself. You're right, I'm never gonna get Family Feud, cause Steve Harvey's gonna sign a deal with, with fucking Anthropic.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 25:55Stavros Halkias?

  And, and Robot Steve Harvey's gonna, gonna host Family Feud until, until the sun explodes.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Steve Harvey with his head in a jar with, with staying alive, mustache still growing.

• 26:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they have to take him out of the jar to trim the mustache every, once a week. Let's get the mustache looking fresh.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  If you, so what's the sweet spot? What'd you say, every three years, every two years?

• 26:17Stavros Halkias?

  Three feels nice. Three feels good.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  I feel like you get a good year of sort of rest and, and figuring shit out, living. You gotta live.

• 26:26Stavros Halkias?

  Gotta live a little bit.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Gotta live. Then a year of touring. And then the special should come right after that.

• 26:32Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's right, yeah. I think like, uh, I think, cause this time, I, I did three years. But I think in the middle of it, I did a bunch of other, like we did tires, I did like a movie. And I just wasn't focused on it the whole time.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  And it was like, it didn't feel like I ga, it really felt like I did it in like a year and a half.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  That's exactly how I felt with SNL.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, incre, exactly. Cause it, I don't know if you feel the same way, but it's like, the momentum of an hour is so nice. When you have it in your bones, where you're like, it starts and you're kind of unsure, whatever. But when that's in there, and then you're just like working on the intangible shit, the shit in the back of your head. That's the best feeling.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  That's when it feels like it's, yeah, it's like its own thing. And then you're like excited to present it.

• 27:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  To like, you take it to say, oh, I can't wait to see how they receive it.

• 27:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  What it's gonna sound like. Cause now it's like, I don't know, it's, it, it starts to develop on its own. And as, as stories start to develop and, and conversations start to develop, uh, just in the landscape of media, you, it starts to feel more relevant. Maybe stuff, stuff starts to feel old.

• 27:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  You start to see what's evergreen, what kinda always feels good, and what feels topical, what feels new. Not like having a joke from like last year that works perfectly for what's going on right now. And you're like, fuck, this is like.

• 27:48Stavros Halkias?

  I got away with one.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Perfect timing. Yeah, it's just amazing. So, yeah, so I think, I think it needs that time. And nowadays, it's, it's more of a feat to, like, the more stuff you put out, people are like, that's impressive. Right. I guess, if that's, if that's what the, if that's what we're doing. But I, I don't wanna, I don't wanna, you know, if it's working for you.

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  We don't have to shit on anybody, but it's true that what is rewarded now is mass, is just, uh, the amount, not the, it's quantity over quality.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Certainly.

• 28:20Stavros Halkias?

  And I do think, I'm hopeful that we do, we have it turned back to sort of like more thoughtful things, more curated things. At least that's the stuff I'm interested in doing now, right? Cause like, I did that.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  That's the key. I think it should be, it could all exist, and there's room for all of it. But I think as a standup fan, I look forward to things that I know took time.

• 28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you gave a fuck about, that wasn't just like two cameras set up, and you're like, it's my special, whatever.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  You could hear with a joke, cause sometimes, uh, somebody would put up a joke. And it's funny, but I'm like, if you took that on the road for six more months, it'd be an amazing bit.

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible, yeah.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  And now it's like burnt, and it's like, now it's just, and then, then there's like forty other versions of it.

• 29:04Stavros Halkias?

  This is us being the old guys, cause the concept of burnt means nothing to anyone anymore. We thought it's like, well, you do the joke on one place, you can never do it.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:13Stavros Halkias?

  That doesn't exist. And that's something that I am trying to figure out, like, what does that mean? Can I put all shittier versions of my jokes and then refine them and then put them out?

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Do you think people, do you think the audience has changed that much, though, in the last ten, fifteen years? Where they wanna hear what they've seen online, or do you, I mean, cause I do feel like.

• 29:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. What they want.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  I do feel like when I, when I'm out there, people are excited to hear new shit.

• 29:41Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent. That's what makes the live thing the best. Is that it is, in fact, it's turned so much that I think some people are now annoyed if they see something live, and then it's like, like, I had a couple comments, this is just me being fresh off the, the special. Whereas some people were like, well, this was good, but I heard it on, at the tour, and it's like, that's what the fucking tour is for, you motherfucker.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  What do you want me to do?

• 30:04Speaker 03

  No, they think you rode it in the green room.

• 30:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  You rode it on the plane.

• 30:09Stavros Halkias?

  The idea of like standup being a thing where it's like, well, yeah, every, every day you just get up there and you say something off the top of your head for an hour, it's really fucking funny.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  There's people that do it. And I, and I do think that one of the good things about, uh, comedy now is I, I think a lot of fans invest in performers, like.

• 30:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Almost like a sports team.

• 30:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's a little bit like that.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  It's not like, oh, man, I love this work and I love this special. It's, now it's like, that's my guy.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  Everything they do is my thing, too.

• 30:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right, right.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  And I feel like, and I feel like fanbases are like growing and swelling and it allows for artists to do more stuff. I just don't think they maybe take advantage of it as much as they could.

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right. I mean, that's the other thing. It's like, I guess, all I, I mean, yeah, all I wanna do is fucking stand up, and then I just do other shit, cause it's available. You know what I mean? But I do love standup the most.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  It feels like that's why we say yes to everything is, at, at, at least initially, it's always like, like even like SNL, it's like, well, that'll help me do standup.

• 31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right, right.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Towards what?

• 31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  Every opportunity is just like, well, that'll help with standup.

• 31:19Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. I mean, every, everything I did for the special was like, yeah, I'll go on this show, I'll go on that. Just cause like, cause like, I don't, I don't know. You're fa, you're obviously very famous and that's, uh, to me, it sucks. Getting a little famous this year, I'm like, I guess I'll do this so people see my standup. And that's the only reason I wanna do it, but I do think.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  You did it right, though. Like, you, you, this shit, I, I've watched like a ton of your interviews.

• 31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, thank you, dude.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Taking down the patriarch.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Selling out all your bros. Oh, man. I fucking, I love it, dude.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  It was great.

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  I know, dude, it is really funny where you do a joke about your friends, and then it gets clipped, and people are like, there is a very weird tabloid thing, but it's probably stan culture as well.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  It is stan culture, because they're like, oh, you turned your back.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Dude, we're humans.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  I called them a bitch for doing something stupid. I love that joke too, where you were like, we just are gonna, we're just gonna see what happens after Trump.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, we haven't, we haven't figured it out, that we need a system, we need a better system.

• 32:19Stavros Halkias?

  The joke where you're like, ESPN has fifteen hundred high school quarterbacks? But we don't have a list of who's gonna be fucking president. It was so good. And I also love what came through in the special too, is, is like, I love a man who gives into his vices, as so, as you can tell from myself. You know what I mean? My whole life has been.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Same, baby.

• 32:39Stavros Halkias?

  I loved the sort of ode, how much you love drinking. You're like, I gotta cut back so I can keep drinking until I die. It's such an awesome idea, dude, and I totally understand it. As a man who's tried.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  It's the sweet spot.

• 32:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's, I'm doing.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  It's the sweet spot.

• 32:54Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to get off of, I'm a two hun, I'm a, I was doing like two hundred and a hundred milligrams of weed. I'm more of a weed guy. I'm just trying to get me back down to like twenty, thirty.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  I can't handle weed.

• 33:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  And I don't like the surprise. I don't like the uncertainty of how is this gonna fuck me up? Cause I've had tens that have fucked me up. Like literally, I can't lift my drink, because I don't have the strength in my arms

• 33:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  to do anything. And I, I just don't like the, my entire body. I think it's more of a paranoia thing, like, uh, I feel like it's just irresponsible for a man to not be in control of his body.

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Just as an adult, like, anything could fucking happen, dude. Like, like, you can't just be out here like that.

• 33:38Stavros Halkias?

  And now there is another joke on the special about how you drank until nine AM, though, so.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Well.

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  How do the, how do those two drink together, drinking for an eight hour shift?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  I can drink, listen, I can drink till nine AM, and you wouldn't know that I was drinking till nine AM.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  I believe that you believe that. I believe that you, I believe that you think that's true.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  There's been times where I drank till nine AM and like literally. Drove home so easy that I don't know how I got now.

• 34:07Stavros Halkias?

  It reset.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  I don't even know how to drive. That's a joke.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  I'm joking. I would never do.

• 34:14Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 34:17Stavros Halkias?

  The guy grew up in New York. He can't drive.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  I can't drive. I don't have a license. I really don't.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  You and Sam, the same thing. Sam can't drive at all. Anyone who grew up in New York.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Is that true? He doesn't know how to drive? I didn't know that.

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  At all.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  I didn't. Neither can I. I cannot drive.

• 34:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, you guys are city hicks, basically.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Manhattan. He's like.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  We won't say where Sam lives.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  What, what building is it? I know.

• 34:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's that great restaurant right next to it? That you can easily Google? Do you remember your first drink? The first thing you had as a, as a boy?

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Yes. It was, um, Old English.

• 34:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  It was a little bit like Old English was like a really popular.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  The forties.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  The cans in the forties. The, the, the cans, I guess, were twenty-two and then the forties was forty. And I remember there was like, uh, I don't want to say who, but.

• 35:09Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  In our building, there was this, there was an apartment that it was like one of those kind of families that like, anything goes.

• 35:17Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  You know, everybody, every building kind of has that. Every neighborhood has that, like that family, like.

• 35:22Stavros Halkias?

  The family that you get, they're like, just get fucked up in our garage.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was that, but the project version.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  It would be like hard games or whatever. And then one of my siblings would take me down, you know, you know, whatever. You just like go down.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's the party apartment.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  It's the party apartment.

• 35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  And I remember there was like a half a can of beer and we just wanted to drink it.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  And it was warm.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  And awful.

• 35:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  And it was like, to me, I was like, well, adults are just crazy. You know what I mean? I was probably like, nine, eight years old or something like that. And I was like, well, adults are just crazy.

• 35:57Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  And then I think the first time I ever tasted alcohol that was like, oh, that's good. I was probably like twelve. And it was like a pina colada.

• 36:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you got.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  Like everybody was drinking pina coladas in the house where they had like a blender.

• 36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  And I tasted, yeah.

• 36:12Stavros Halkias?

  strawberry daiquiri.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Daiquiri or something like that.

• 36:14Stavros Halkias?

  As a fat child.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 36:15Stavros Halkias?

  I was crushing daiquiris and I, I would, I would order virgin daiquiris and pina coladas.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  I still order, uh, virgin pina coladas. I like, like a BBQ, Dallas BBQ.

• 36:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  You know about that?

• 36:29Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  That's a New York City staple.

• 36:31Stavros Halkias?

  And is that still around? Didn't it?

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Oh, there's, there's tons of them. There's one on like Twenty-third Street and Eighth Avenue.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  Is that one still there?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's gotta be. I hope, man, it would break my heart if that's not there. Is that not there?

• 36:41Stavros Halkias?

  Look up Dallas BBQ. I think one of them.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  There's gotta be a few.

• 36:45Stavros Halkias?

  There's a few, but I think, I think the one you're talking about is still there, actually, because it's.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Then there was one on like, then like Astor Place. There was one on like, on like, uh, what's that?

• 36:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so that's a New York chain?

• 36:56Speaker 03

  It's a New York chain. Yeah. And they would, and they would serve these giant fucking daiquiris and pina coladas.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Heni coladas. That's where it was like invented. It would be a big ass pina colada. And they would have like an upside down bottle of Hennessy in it.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  It was the bomb. But I, but it doesn't taste good with the Hennessy to me. Cause Hennessy, you can't hide Hennessy.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  You know you're drinking Hennessy.

• 37:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  So like I would get the virgin one because it just tastes good. And then I'll just like drink a shot when I want to take a shot. Drink a shot when you get a shot, but drink the fucking calorie.

• 37:28Stavros Halkias?

  You deconstructed the pina, the Heni colada.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  Heni colada, yes.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  The Michael Che specials that deconstructed Heni colada.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  I never liked Heni though. Like Heni was like a very big thing in, in, in the neighborhood.

• 37:39Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  We didn't, we didn't really like, I never really liked Heni. It was always Incredible Hoax. Remember Incredible Hoax?

• 37:44Stavros Halkias?

  The hypnotic?

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Hypnotic? You guys had hypnotic?

• 37:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Oh, you're from Baltimore?

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  I grew up in Baltimore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had a couple Incredible Hoax.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  There's a different kind of like white guy that grew up like in a black area.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. Yeah, yeah.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  That's why.

• 37:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'm surprised I'm one of those guys.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  I was surprised.

• 38:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  I was surprised.

• 38:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  How did that happen? Like, how did your family end up in Baltimore?

• 38:06Stavros Halkias?

  Literally what happened is a guy, my grandfather was in Greece looking for work. He goes, you know, it's back in the day where you just have to go ask around.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  He left this.

• 38:15Stavros Halkias?

  He left? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  To go to Baltimore.

• 38:17Stavros Halkias?

  Well, dude, the, it's literally some guy was like, hey, uh, he told him all the, the job. He's like, yeah, my, he was a machine worker. And he told him how much, and it paid like triple anything he'd ever been offered. And he's like, yeah, fuck, whatever it is. Like, great. The job is in America. And he gave him two choices. New York City, Astoria, or Baltimore. And he knew one guy in Baltimore. So he was like, Baltimore.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 38:43Stavros Halkias?

  My life is so different if my fucking grandfather comes to Astoria. I'm, I, I inherited a fucking two million dollar house instead of, the house I grew up in, you know, it's worth right now? One hundred and eighty thousand dollars.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 38:59Stavros Halkias?

  Today is what it's worth.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  That's fucking crazy.

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, I remember, oh, man, the Incredible Hulk. Cause I believe Lil Wayne had it in his cribs. He was mentioning the, uh, hypnotic, the Incredible Hulk.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Never been sicker than when I would drink that as a, like, as a young, as a youngster.

• 39:18Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  I never really liked it. Uh, I was, I was more of a, I used to like Southern Comfort.

• 39:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  I used to like.

• 39:25Stavros Halkias?

  Soco Amaretto.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  I could do it like Remy, Remy Martin. I could do that as, you know, like that was shit. But that was usually too expensive. Like.

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  I would shit, but it was like, we didn't have money. So like, we would get as drunk as possible with as little as possible.

• 39:39Stavros Halkias?

  A pop off vodka.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  So we'll, fucking Georgie.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Fucking, a pint, a pint, yeah, a pint of fucking Georgie. And we would just put it, go to Dunkin' Donuts, get like a, a cup of ice. And like a fucking fruit punch or some shit.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  And then you would drink that. You tailgate it, park it up, and then you go in a bar, two drinks, you're smashed.

• 39:59Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome, dude.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we would drink pop off with Crystal Light was my, that was my college.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Crystal Light. See, I don't like fake sugar.

• 40:06Stavros Halkias?

  Pink, pink drink is what we called the pink drink. You know, once we got fucked up.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  But what was the, was it, was it vodka?

• 40:12Stavros Halkias?

  It was pop off vodka. Yeah, yeah. With maybe a little water if you had to dilute it. But yeah, those were.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, the ice, the ice does that.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  Ice does a nice job of that.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Ice does that.

• 40:22Stavros Halkias?

  You're right.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  Cause that, that warm vodka on that cold ice, it turns, gets you that nice little.

• 40:26Stavros Halkias?

  It is nice. There is a romanticism to it. I got, I think I got, I couldn't handle drinking as much. I became a weed guy later on. But there's something nice about, at a party, the effect of slowly getting drunk and slowly believing in yourself more. Nothing better.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  I just liked, I liked the slow, I love the control of knowing that, okay. Cause like, I'm not like a shots guy. I'm not like a, let's get hammered guy. I'm just a guy that can be out for a long time.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like I can do it for a long, I'm an endurance guy.

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  Shane's the same way, by the way. That motherfucker will drink up one beer every fifteen minutes for infinity.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I don't.

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  And I don't got that in me. I can get fu, I will get fucked up and I will order a cheesesteak and I will be asleep. Like, I would cry, I would fall asleep. I was the guy falling asleep at a party.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  How do you not fall asleep on weed though? I feel like whenever I've taken, whenever I've done weed, I'm like, ready to fall asleep every time.

• 41:20Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I do that too. I just, I'm the guy who passes out. I also had undiagnosed sleep apnea. So in college, I would just get fucked up and I'd be like, just like that. And there'd be a party around me.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  Snoring?

• 41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Snoring, truly.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Don't we all have sleep apnea?

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, me and you do. Probably like you, Eldis too. Eldis claims he doesn't. I know you do.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  I might.

• 41:44Stavros Halkias?

  Are you, do you care? Do you worry about your health? Are you like a hypochondriac in any way?

• 41:48Speaker 03

  I'm good.

• 41:49Stavros Halkias?

  You're good.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  I know Crackhead, who is just getting younger and younger.

• 41:55Stavros Halkias?

  And if he's getting younger.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  If he's doing alright, I'm doing alright. I go by him. I'm like, man, he's doing way worse than me.

• 42:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's a beautiful perspective.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Good, so fuck it.

• 42:05Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know what? That's exactly the perspective we're gonna bring to our callers here, Mike.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  I'm a Crackhead. That's way too.

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  We'll apply the Crackhead corollary whenever, when anybody, uh, calls in with a question. Uh, let's take some calls. Also, we want to say, I don't know if we even said the name of the special. Uh, it's on Netflix, shot in Minnesota.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 42:29Stavros Halkias?

  Michael Che shot in Minnesota. It is shot in Minnesota. Yeah. The crowd is going wild.

• 42:37Stavros Halkias?

  Truly a great special. Watch it, folks. It's on Netflix either tomorrow or right now. Stavi's World is sponsored by Stavi's World? That's right. We're, we're buying an ad for ourselves to tell you to call in with all your holiday questions, folks. Look, you know how we do business here. We do episodes all in one batch. All right? It's never gonna change. Stop complaining. It's what it is. Go fucking listen to Are You Garbage if you want people who, who chime in every week. Literally just listen. They're the best. But what I want from you, you got a question about Halloween? You got a question about Thanksgiving? Maybe Christmas? Your in-laws, that kind of stuff?

• 43:15Stavros Halkias?

  Send them in now because we are recording our holiday episodes in the coming weeks. So please, if you have any queries about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, what have you, New Year's, the equinox, I don't, I don't fucking know, whatever's going on in, at, in, in winter, you want, you got winter questions? Just ask them. Cause now's the time we're gonna be recording through the holidays so that we can all see our families. All right? So that's, we just wanted to get, tell them to us now so we can get them in the episodes as it comes out. We love you and, uh, use promo code STAVI to, and put the voicemails in, whatever. Next ad.

• 43:54Stavros Halkias?

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• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi Gets Ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say. Other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription

• 45:17Stavros Halkias?

  order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi.

• 45:23Speaker 05

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• 45:54Stavros Halkias?

  So why don't we take some calls, Aldous? What do you got for us?

• 45:56Speaker 04

  On the visible hotline, of course.

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Let's take, let's take some calls on the visible hotline, of course. How could I forget?

• 46:04Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 46:06Speaker 06

  Yes, guests and Aldous. I am calling about a dating situation that I'm in and I'm looking for some advice on this. I am seeing, I'm 30. I'm seeing a gentleman who is in his 50s and we met on dating app. And he is someone who has a bit of a public profile. He's a doctor and he's written some books and he's, you know, had Ted Talks, things like that. And

• 46:36Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 46:36Speaker 06

  His dating profile says that he is

• 46:40Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, keep going.

• 46:42Speaker 06

  His dating profile says that he is 52 years old. And he very openly has talked to me about his books and his Ted Talk and all of that. And so he's pretty easily Google-able. And so I looked him up because I was curious about his Ted Talk and I found that he isn't half 58 years old.

• 47:02Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 47:04Speaker 06

  Which I don't particularly mind in terms of dating someone who is 58. But I feel like I should tell this person because I know that he is dating and, you know, meeting other people, that that's pretty uncool.

• 47:22Speaker 06

  And some people might even consider quite sexually inappropriate to like, lie to someone about elements of your life in order to get them to have sex with you.

• 47:32Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on.

• 47:33Speaker 06

  But I want to say it gently and I know he's new to dating.

• 47:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's not why, you didn't fuck him because he was five years younger than you thought he was. You know what I mean? Like, or older, like, I get what you mean. He shouldn't misrepresent himself, but to, I think we're elevating lying about your age five years as a form of assault is a little much. It's indecent and you shouldn't do it, but I guess, does she have more?

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Who wants to have sex with the truth?

• 48:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's a fantasy we're selling ourselves.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  Fuck the truth.

• 48:07Stavros Halkias?

  You're, and at the end of the day, he is a TikTok doctor. He's fucking selling peptides and doing fucking dances. Keep going.

• 48:15Speaker 06

  But I want to say it gently and I know he's new to dating and I don't want to be unkind.

• 48:21Speaker 06

  He also never lied to my face. It just said that on his dating profile and I never brought up his age.

• 48:27Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 48:27Speaker 06

  So how would you handle that? Okay, thank you. Bye.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  This is fucking nothing.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  It's nothing, but I, but I, I thought, I thought women like lie about their age all the time. Like, that was like the point.

• 48:41Stavros Halkias?

  I, I do think it is more traditionally women who are lying about their age.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  It's like rude to ask them.

• 48:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's rude to ask women about their age.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  That's a really smooth move to be like, hey, it's rude to ask me if I'm lying.

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:54Stavros Halkias?

  You have breached etiquette, my friend.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  You're supposed to let me lie.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Whatever. If you already like them, you like them. So what, what do you?

• 49:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And you can bring it up and be like, hey, I was looking for your TikTok and I saw that you were 50, whatever. It's like, what age are you? Because the truth is some, I'm sure this is what happened with him, but sometimes a dating app has, will put your age in wrong. I'm sure that's not what happened here, but you can bring it up with him if you want. You could be like, hey, when were you, I mean, I don't know, when were you? Maybe wait until his birthday and be like, hey, when was this, by the way? How many years ago was the first one?

• 49:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, how do you, yeah, on his birthday, you should say, hey, we're gonna get you a cake. Which candles should we buy?

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Genius.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:41Stavros Halkias?

  I need to know which of the novelty candles to buy you. Is it 6-0 or 5-5?

• 49:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm, yeah, I feel like you'd probably be cool with it. Men are usually cool with their age, right? I don't know.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying. It's weird he even lied, but I guess lying on the dating app, especially when you're a public figure is insane.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  That's a wild move.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  When you're easily Google-able, you can't be lying about shit like that.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Actually, though, that's actually a good point. He might be lying for his like Hollywood.

• 50:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, to be, because you want to be a wise old doctor. And if you're a doctor who looks good.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's actually really smart.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  He might be like, yeah, I lied so that people think I'm a little bit wiser and

• 50:22Stavros Halkias?

  And I look better for my age. People think I'm 60, I'm actually 53.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  A great-looking 60-year-old.

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  And it helps me sell my fucking, you know, my program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Oh, there we go.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Have you ever considered that lately?

• 50:38Stavros Halkias?

  The reverse lie, or I guess still a lie, but a different lie.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Sometimes you hear about guys like filtering their height on there. It's like

• 50:46Speaker 03

  I know women get upset with that shit.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  It's like, I'm 5'9", but I'm trying to get in that 5'11", 6' filter or something.

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  So you lie about your height.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  And I wonder if that's what he's doing too. He just wants, you know, 52, 58, doesn't really matter, but

• 51:01Stavros Halkias?

  No, it matters.

• 51:02Speaker 04

  That's, that's like a, you know, I get

• 51:03Stavros Halkias?

  Are you 50 or 60?

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Oh, you say like for when women are searching, they're like, I don't want anybody over 55.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  He gets the women that still want women that 50, wants a guy 53. That's true too.

• 51:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. So there's, there's a lot of minor deceit happening here, one way or another, but ultimately it's minor. Who gives a fuck?

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Yes, man, who cares?

• 51:22Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, though. He's double, you don't care, he's double your age and he's a TikTok doctor. And you're like, yeah, I'm down. Interesting. I wonder what kind of doctor he is.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  You don't like TikTok doctors? You said that like seven times.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  I just think it's a weird type of guy to be. I guess that's true. Maybe I'm fighting the times. I just think, what we were talking about stand-up comedy being degraded earlier. I think by so, stand-up comedy's been degraded by social media. What do you think it's doing to medicine? You think, you think it's helping it?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't want my, I don't want my doctor with a face, like a front-facing camera.

• 51:55Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, dude. I do not want my doctor knowing about his angles.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  I don't want my doctor practicing choreography.

• 52:02Stavros Halkias?

  No lip syncing for my doctor, thank you. My ortho, I do not want him doing a perfect little mouthx. Yeah.

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, you're right. You caught, you caught my, uh, my, uh, animosity towards the, the medical professionals on TikTok, but you know what? I watch them. I fuck my back up, so I watch what they have to say.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  They say you did nothing for the back, right?

• 52:24Stavros Halkias?

  You're so fucked, it's crazy. You're so fucked, it's crazy. Give us another one that maybe is good, Aldous. We've got a great guest on. You give us this bullshit fucking guest question.

• 52:35Speaker 03

  Aldous, you're tall.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  How tall are you, Aldous?

• 52:39Speaker 04

  Uh, 6'5" and that's a real number.

• 52:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he is. He is tall.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Oh, damn.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, our friendship has been marked by Aldous, Aldous could never live in my shoes. He had to be, he had to be tall, he had to have a full head of hair.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  Hey, you know.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right. You don't have

• 52:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, wow.

• 52:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not shy about it. I'm just happy to be repping the Orioles today.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Nah, I like it, man.

• 53:02Stavros Halkias?

  You can see me publicly tall.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  But it's also, see like you're lucky in a way that you're like, drawable.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like if I seen your picture at a restaurant, I'd be like, oh yeah, they got Stavi on the wall.

• 53:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm very caricative.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're very like, but that's great. That's great for like fucking branding.

• 53:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  You could silhouette you and people would know that's you.

• 53:26Stavros Halkias?

  Silo, yeah. Which is, you're right, it's good and it's also bad because there's no, if you think it's me, it's me. You know what I mean?

• 53:33Speaker 03

  That's great, yeah.

• 53:34Stavros Halkias?

  Whereas like, whereas like if you're just a generic, like, there was a Jimmy Kimmel joke thing where they had the guy who played Superman in front of a, in front of a billboard of Superman and no one stopped.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just any white guy.

• 53:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Any white guy. No, but you're you.

• 53:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, thank you, man. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. What else we got, LD?

• 53:56Speaker 06

  Hey, Stavi baby. Long time, first time. Um, I want to say at the outset, my relationship with my husband is fucking incredible. We've been together for a long time. We get along, we don't fight, we have a lot of fun. He's incredible. He goes out of his way to show me that he cares about me and I truly believe it when he says that

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Here's my problem with him.

• 54:17Speaker 06

  I'm the best thing that ever happened to him.

• 54:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, here we go.

• 54:20Speaker 06

  I will say, our sex life has gone down the last few years. I think it's a combination of

• 54:26Stavros Halkias?

  Sex life has gone down.

• 54:26Speaker 06

  Him not partying anymore and also just like

• 54:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds awesome.

• 54:30Speaker 06

  A lot of stress in his life. Our libidos have always been mismatched, but mine

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 54:39Speaker 06

  Stavi, I have the sex drive of a fucking psychopath that shouldn't be institutionalized.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, maybe you should be.

• 54:45Speaker 06

  At least once a day, there will be a moment where I'm working or cleaning the house or driving or going to the store where I get so fucking horny that my nipples are hard and my pussy is wet and throbbing for no fucking reason. I think about sex constantly.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  Chill for a second, though. I'm trying to do a podcast.

• 55:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, just give us a breather.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Let the man's rug burn.

• 55:12Stavros Halkias?

  Let me think about our fucking cuck husband a little bit.

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, go ahead, resume.

• 55:20Speaker 06

  Constantly. And lately, he doesn't.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  I wonder why he's so stressed.

• 55:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you wake up, she's gonna want me to fuck her three times. I got a fucking presentation tomorrow. I told her I can't let her pussy for 40 minutes.

• 55:35Stavros Halkias?

  Just wanting to get fucked so bad, it's killing your husband. What else does she have?

• 55:40Speaker 06

  He doesn't. I mean, when we do have sex, it's amazing. I always come a lot. He comes like sometimes twice.

• 55:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 55:49Speaker 06

  It's awesome. My question is,

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Twice is way too much, man.

• 55:54Speaker 06

  I don't know how to do it. Um, I've never had to do it in my life. I will send him like beautiful and pretty explicit nudes and I'll get like some, I'll get a little bit back, you know, but it doesn't lead anywhere. Or I will, um, you know, I will

• 56:14Speaker 06

  Bring him his coffee in the morning and I'll be naked and I'll get in bed and I'll be like touching him and he's like looking at his phone and

• 56:25Stavros Halkias?

  Anything else.

• 56:26Speaker 06

  And like I get that he needs to unwind, but I feel like what's a better way to unwind than me sucking his dick?

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm. That's a good point.

• 56:37Speaker 06

  And again, I, I, I totally get it. I just feel like he came up to me and said, hey, will you suck my dick? I would be like, yes, absolutely. Let me do it.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  You understand that.

• 56:48Speaker 06

  Um, but obviously that doesn't work and it feels a little bit pathetic to be like, I am horny. Will you fuck me, please? So I'm like wearing more provocative clothing.

• 56:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'll just isolate that and send that to my phone, please. I'll just clip that, send that, put that directly to my AirPods somehow. Make that the noise that happens when my AirPods pair with my computer, please.

• 57:12Speaker 06

  Rock my body more, you know, and those things are starting to work, but I'm just looking for advice because I do not know how to initiate sex.

• 57:20Stavros Halkias?

  Question of all time.

• 57:21Speaker 06

  Uh, thanks a lot. Have a nice day. Bye.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Sit on your washing machine. I don't know.

• 57:26Stavros Halkias?

  Well, she's asking like, how does she initiate sex with, she just hasn't even tried. I guess like she's used to him.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  He's probably tired.

• 57:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's tired.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  God, like that's a, I mean, well, they're married.

• 57:37Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know what's interesting? When she started this, she was like, he doesn't party and he's stressed.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:42Stavros Halkias?

  And then she told us no details about that.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  None.

• 57:45Stavros Halkias?

  She just talked about how much she wanted to, how horny she was for two minutes. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what is going on in his life? Why is he stressed? I get your nipples are hard, but what's going on at the office with your fucking husband?

• 57:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Why is he, your nipples are hard, but he's crying. His eyes are watering.

• 58:05Stavros Halkias?

  She didn't say how long they've been married, elders?

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Oh, man. She might be just hitting on you, bro.

• 58:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, listen, why don't you DM me and we'll continue this conversation there.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  You ever have that happen to you? You ever had like a, like a guy bring his wife to you or some weird shit like that?

• 58:19Stavros Halkias?

  There was one weird show where this girl was DMing me and she was like being quite, almost as explicit as our friend here.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:28Stavros Halkias?

  And, and I was like, nice. I might go get some, in the green room, right? Like between shows.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Men never know what to say to anything sexy.

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, nice.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  She said, my nipples are hard, driving, thinking of you. Nice.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. You like that?

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sick. That's awesome.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Very good.

• 58:52Stavros Halkias?

  For real? Can I see?

• 58:54Speaker 03

  It's just like, it's like, like when you get like a nude and you, what do you write back?

• 58:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you give it a.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  You give it a heart for sure.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Give it a heart.

• 59:01Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta go emoji. I think a nude, you want to go emoji because it's, it's almost like it's more visceral. It's more caveman. You want to get, you want to give the, you know, drooling emoji.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Crazy emoji.

• 59:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  I'm losing my mind.

• 59:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  Just saw my wife's tits today.

• 59:21Stavros Halkias?

  I'm going nuts over my wife's pussy.

• 59:28Stavros Halkias?

  So I think, yeah, that's, I mean, what's going on with him? You're married. I'm sure you'd like, you, you're hot. You're always horny. People have always fucked you, whatever you wanted to. You're in a new phase of life. You're gonna have to work for dick a little bit for the first time. And that's what matrimony is about. If you were a single woman, I'm sure, you know, nonstop, you could, you'd be getting stuffed if you wanted to. But now you've entered a, you know, beautiful contract of marriage and, and it's give and take. And you might be getting fucked a little less than you'd like, but you gotta communicate with your husband here.

• 1:00:03Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, I bet you, if you just tried to grab his dick for a second, instead of just like being naked, putting his coffee down while he's playing fucking, you know, Wordle, I bet you, you'd get at least a 50% success rate on a dick grab. I don't know. You don't think so?

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  Nah, man.

• 1:00:24Stavros Halkias?

  This, you're the husband in this?

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  If your wife is walking around naked and you're looking at your phone, trying not to.

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  This guy's tired of fucking.

• 1:00:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:34Speaker 03

  He might just be depressed, you know?

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  Or what if someone put a bomb in his nuts? And it'll explode if he comes and he really wants to fuck you really badly, but he's actually, he loves you so much that if he goes.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  The man is sad.

• 1:00:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's probably just depressed and stressed out.

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  Just fucking find out why he's sad.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  Think about it in, in another way. Let's say you were sad, lady. Let's say you were really sad and, and your guy was like, man, I'm just so fucking hard all the time.

• 1:01:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right, right, right.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  My girl's always crying and like, no, like he's sad. Find out why he's fucking sad. It might, it might.

• 1:01:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's a really good ques- like, I, I feel like every woman has had the experience of like, oh, why don't I give you a massage? And then you just feel the guy's hard dick on your back or whatever, where they clearly are just trying to fuck you. Right now, what you are is a hard dick during a massage to your husband. You're a hard dick on the small of his back and what he needs is to be nurtured. It's not about, it's not about.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  Dick on the back. That's the advice. Right now, you're a hard dick on.

• 1:01:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Right now, you're a hard dick on your husband's back and you need to think, you need to think about his soul first. Mi- Michael is right.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Stavros Halkias?

  He's sad. Get it? Figure out what's wrong with him. Be like, hey, what's going on? Literally, if you ask him a little bit, that could lead to it. And by the way, you could say, oh, like you could also say, after you tell, after he opens up, you could be like, well, you know, the biggest problem for me is like, I would just love to, for us to have sex more. And whenever, what, what, whenever you're feeling better, that can also be like a little, the pot of gold at the end of the, at the rainbow where it's like, hey, figure your shit out and we can go crazy again.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:02:18Stavros Halkias?

  But like, I just need, you know, and, and true, I think that's what it is. It's like, we have to address the underlying causes here. Cause we could tell you like, I don't know, we could, you could figure out a way to trick, you could throw a little Viagra in his coffee. We could tell you how to trick him. But that will not have lasting effects.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't drug your husband.

• 1:02:37Stavros Halkias?

  Do not, we are officially saying, do not drug and assault your husband.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, let's see what the root is. What's the stress about? Can you help him out? Can you get him de-stressed? Cause yeah, if you're sad, you're stressed, whatever, any gender, you're not gonna want to fuck.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  It's like a lot of women think that we're so horny that we should just always want to have sex.

• 1:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  And that's not the case.

• 1:03:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's simply not the case.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  It's simply not the case. They think we're gross, we're dolls or like, we're pathetic and, and if, if it's presented, we should just want to.

• 1:03:13Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  Unless, and if we don't, that means there's something wrong with them.

• 1:03:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  Sometimes we just don't want to have sex because we're sad.

• 1:03:19Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's a good point that, the like, wrong with them, because that's happened in the past.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:24Stavros Halkias?

  I've been in a relationship and it's like, I have been sad and not wanted to fuck.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Stavros Halkias?

  And then the, the girl's taking it personally and I'm like, this is not about you. Obviously you're the, like, you're the hottest shit. I'd love to be able to do this. My head is not, but I think when you, when you put your value with your sexuality, which happens unfortunately in our society for women a lot.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Certain.

• 1:03:45Stavros Halkias?

  Particularly for somebody like this who's like, she's hot, she's like been horny her whole life.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  Cutting glass with her nipples.

• 1:03:55Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. She, that woman puts a couple of shamwows, shamwows down on her Honda Civic before she drives. That type of woman, yes, she probably had, you probably are caller, have linked some of your self-worth to, to like sex and being desired. So you deal with that while you help your husband deal with whatever the fuck's going on in his head. And give it three weeks. I'll, I'll bet you'll be sucking and fucking in no time.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, man. And send that tape.

• 1:04:24Stavros Halkias?

  And say, yeah, yeah. And if that didn't work for you, just go ahead and send me a personal DM. We'll get to the bottom of this.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, we gotta see the pictures that he's not responding to. Maybe you don't know your angle.

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. We're actually, we're offering a consultation service. Are your nudes bad? If any woman would like, send them to, uh, chxhalkis@gmail.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  I'll be honest with you.

• 1:04:47Stavros Halkias?

  You don't like nudes?

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  I don't like nudes.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  This is one of the, put this guy on fucking subway takes. 100% disagree.

• 1:04:59Stavros Halkias?

  You don't like nudes?

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  I don't like nudes.

• 1:05:01Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  I don't fucking like them.

• 1:05:03Stavros Halkias?

  You need to be in the, in the room.

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  I just don't know what to do with him. Like.

• 1:05:06Stavros Halkias?

  Have a good time. What do you mean?

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  What is a good time with nudes?

• 1:05:10Stavros Halkias?

  Let me ask you this. If you see a fucking, uh, uh, fucking high, uh, LeBron highlight.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Stavros Halkias?

  What do, do you know what to do with that? Or you just admire how awesome it is?

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  What, what a LeBron, uh, highlight? I don't have to answer it.

• 1:05:22Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have to text LeBron back.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  I don't have to text LeBron, like, amazing dunk. Greatest dunk I've ever seen. Thank you so much. Like, I don't have to do that.

• 1:05:30Stavros Halkias?

  But you are.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Too much pressure for like what I.

• 1:05:33Stavros Halkias?

  I think you could, I know what you mean, but I think.

• 1:05:36Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 1:05:37Stavros Halkias?

  It does, but I think it's pretty standard what's accepted, uh, expected of you. I don't think, I love a dude.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  What's standard? What do you?

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  Be, again, a heart. I definitely hit him with the heart react and then I'm giving an emoji.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  Not enough sometimes.

• 1:05:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, of course. Heart's the bare minimum, but I'm saying you, you start with a heart immediately.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Heart.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Then you hit him, you know, a couple of emojis, tongue out emoji. Fuck, I'd love to put those in my mouth, that sort of thing. I have no problem with nudes or having something to say when I get them, to be honest with you.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  I love to put those in my mouth.

• 1:06:08Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it's not rocket science, Jay. You just tell them what you'd like to do with the bodies, part they showed you.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  I just, I just feel like, yeah.

• 1:06:18Stavros Halkias?

  Are you shy?

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  No, it's not that I'm shy. It's like, all right, thanks, sweetheart.

• 1:06:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see. You feel like it's a burden. You're like, now I have to react to these.

• 1:06:28Speaker 03

  Now I gotta fuck it. It's just like, I don't like, I don't like when people like, like, like get me gifts either.

• 1:06:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's fair then. That lines up.

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:35Stavros Halkias?

  Cause, oh, this actually makes so much sense. It's not.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  It's not that I don't know what to do with it.

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're not anti horny.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  I don't, don't, I don't need that.

• 1:06:44Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think that is? Why do you, why, why can't you accept a gift or, uh, what about a compliment? Can you accept those?

• 1:06:50Speaker 03

  Longtime listener, first time.

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  I will say, thank you, Stavi. Uh, I just, no, I just, I don't know. I, I feel like, um. I don't, I, I think that sometimes people give you something because they want a certain reaction from you.

• 1:07:10Stavros Halkias?

  It feels transactional.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  It feels very transactional.

• 1:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  And I'm like, I don't.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and there's pressure, and now you feel like, in a perfect world, oh, I'm just accepting something awesome, but in reality, you feel the pressure to react in the way, you know.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're put on the spot to have to almost give a immediate gift back i- in the moment. Well, I get that.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  And maybe I just never got the special nudes, you know, and.

• 1:07:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, yeah. Keep trying, gals.

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  I guess if someone were to send me some special nudes.

• 1:07:43Stavros Halkias?

  Can you break Che's longstanding hate of nudes? Only one way to find out.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  That's a great way to start, is to be like, yeah, I hate, first of all, I'd never seen nudes, I've blocked.

• 1:07:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  So, try. I dare you to try it, impress me.

• 1:07:57Stavros Halkias?

  And furthermore, I've never come from head.

• 1:08:03Stavros Halkias?

  Good luck. Just nutting immediately, completely like, oh, fuck!

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  You fixed it!

• 1:08:09Stavros Halkias?

  You're amazing! Just like, I'm getting the fuck out of here, give me an Uber, you're a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's my version of like the Willy Wonka, he comes out in a cane and then he rolls and he's spry, it's like, I can't bust at all, immediately bust.

• 1:08:25Speaker 03

  That's great, that'd be a great like Wizard of Oz style movie. What are you looking for? Well, I could never come from head.

• 1:08:32Stavros Halkias?

  Never?

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  Nope, not at all.

• 1:08:35Stavros Halkias?

  He just puts, there's a glory hole through the wizard's little thing, he puts his dick in there, he's like, holy fuck, this guy's incredible.

• 1:08:43Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever the wizard wants, we should do it.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Oh my god. That's fucking great, I hope we solved your problem.

• 1:08:50Stavros Halkias?

  I hope we solved your problem, lady, you horny animal. This episode is sponsored by BlueChew. Fellas, you know what women want and need, and I'm not talking about the Mel Gibson movie, What Women Want, where he can read their minds, I'm talking about a stiff something something. Be her rock with BlueChew. With their new arousal boosting formula, you're getting turned on mentally and hard physically. Bricked in the brain, bricked in the body. BlueChew Gold is better sex in a tablet. They combine four ingredients into one powerful solution. It works fast and last. Knock, knock, who's there? Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. You know what I'm saying? There's a reason BlueChew is the number one brand for better sex. Experience

• 1:09:35Stavros Halkias?

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• 1:10:02Speaker 07

  I'm Hannah. I've lost 75 pounds in 20 months with GLP-1s, plus diet and exercise. On Row, I've gone from struggling to run a mile to running farther every day. You can access FDA-approved GLP-1s online. Get the support you need to reach your weight loss goals. Go to row.co/weight to see if you qualify. I'm a paid Row partner. 20% average weight loss in one year in non-diabetics with obesity or overweight with a weight-related medical condition versus 3.1% in placebo arm. RX only. To stay informed about serious side effects, go to row.co/city.

• 1:10:33Stavros Halkias?

  Give us another one, little Elvis.

• 1:10:35Speaker 07

  Yes, Stav, Elvis, esteemed guest, I have a quick little Baltimore question, and then I have a real question.

• 1:10:42Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:10:43Speaker 07

  Stav, do you know if there are any like New England Greek-style houses of pizza in Baltimore? I grew up eating that stuff, can't find any in Baltimore. Okay, here's my real question.

• 1:10:55Stavros Halkias?

  Pause, so I can address this. New England-style Greek pizza is just kinda like, it's kinda doughy, I know it a little bit, it's kinda, it's their carryout pizza, it's a little Pizza Hut-ish from when we were kids.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think like.

• 1:11:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's a little pan pizza-ish.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  I think it's the same with New York, though, isn't it? I feel like.

• 1:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's a little oilier, they're like, New York's thin, whatever, this is a little more pillowy.

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:11:16Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not as familiar with it, I've heard it mostly from my boy Mike Mitchell of the Doughboys. Now, Greek, Baltimore does have so many Greek carryouts that I would say, just go to a shit, I mean, that's the thing, the places you're looking for in Baltimore are in bad neighborhoods.

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, you know, like some of the, like, there's, well, Maria D's in Fed Hill, Filippo's in Greecity, that's my go-to for my nostalgia. But yeah, dude, just go to shitty carryouts, buy pizza from places that have pizza wings, subs, everything on the menu, that's the closest you're gonna get to what you're looking for. So, that's my, that's the most, that's the one I treat the most seriously, by the way.

• 1:11:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is a pizza question, I'm like, well, I'm glad you asked.

• 1:12:06Speaker 03

  Music dropped out of that shit, that shit got so serious.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Can you just shut up for a second, Mike? You wanna go to Greecity?

• 1:12:15Stavros Halkias?

  Shut the fuck up, dude, I got something to say.

• 1:12:20Speaker 03

  I was like, I think it's the same, no, it's not, shut up.

• 1:12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Shut up, dude, I know what I'm talking about.

• 1:12:26Speaker 03

  I studied with the Doughboys.

• 1:12:29Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I cited my sources.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  The fuck just happened?

• 1:12:35Speaker 03

  And when he asked the question, he was like, oh, this stupid ass question, okay, no, seriously, though, you wanna go to, you wanna make sure there's wings, subs, really, what?

• 1:12:44Stavros Halkias?

  Look.

• 1:12:45Speaker 03

  Where you gonna find a gym like that?

• 1:12:48Stavros Halkias?

  They got them all over, man, next time you're at Magoob's, you let me know, I'll send you some places. Play the rest of the call.

• 1:12:56Speaker 07

  So, I've been on a weight loss journey, more of a getting in shape journey.

• 1:13:00Speaker 03

  You can't ask both those questions.

• 1:13:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny, that's so fucking funny.

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  Where can I get great pizza and help me on my weight loss journey? Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know what, that was the best time, that guy unintentionally had the best timing of all time. Alright, so you're getting, you're getting shredded here.

• 1:13:23Speaker 07

  Trying to lose like 10, 15 pounds, get down to like 15% body fat.

• 1:13:29Stavros Halkias?

  And you wanna know where the best cheesesteak in Baltimore is?

• 1:13:32Speaker 07

  And I'm getting more fit and like, I'm getting more muscular, but my wife is like, acting like I have a eating disorder, but she, she's like, like she's obviously seeing me get more in shape and she's like, you know, like rubbing up on me and thinking I'm hot and like, you know, we've been having a lot more sex. By the way, if you've ever, you need to try getting milked in doggy style while getting your ass ate.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck question, wait, what?

• 1:14:05Speaker 03

  Milk in doggy style?

• 1:14:08Stavros Halkias?

  Is he getting fingered? What's he saying?

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, who's in, who's the doggy?

• 1:14:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think he's, he's putting the collar on.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  Is that like reach around, like jerk off kinda thing?

• 1:14:16Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's, I assume it's, I mean, a milking table is you're laying down and your dick is through and you're getting your shit jerked.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  A milking table?

• 1:14:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, those exist, I know that, but that's a fetish item. Does he just mean he's getting jerked off on all fours? Is that what he's saying?

• 1:14:33Speaker 04

  I don't know, that truly was just a fun little tidbit, the actual question is coming.

• 1:14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, but what did he say? Let's run it back, I wanna hear the milking thing.

• 1:14:43Speaker 07

  Milked in doggy style while getting your ass ate? That one's crazy, but.

• 1:14:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so he's getting his shit jerked while he's getting his ass eaten? Damn. That, the last caller should try that, maybe that'll perk her husband back up.

• 1:15:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is, wife is going into her bag of tricks. That's fucking nuts, dude, respect. I have to tip my cap to you and your wife, my friend.

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  And you can like, watch whatever you want.

• 1:15:14Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:15:16Stavros Halkias?

  Watching Monday Night Football, get your ass eaten on all fours? That does sound excellent.

• 1:15:22Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:15:23Speaker 07

  So, it's like, she's obviously enjoying me getting more in shape, but then like, we go out to dinner and I'm like, well, I don't need a burger, I'll get like, a Greek salad. And then she's like, are you, is everything okay? Are you, this is like, feels like an eating disorder, it's like.

• 1:15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:15:39Speaker 07

  I think it's okay if I have a little eating disorder. Yeah, I don't know, let me know.

• 1:15:45Stavros Halkias?

  What you think and let me know how to lose like ten more pounds real quick if you. The fuck is this? I don't want to get on a Ozempic, but maybe if you have like a discount code. Or where can I get testosterone actually? Thank you. Bye. You don't want to lose weight then. You just want to get jacked, you motherfucker, if you want testosterone.

• 1:16:04Stavros Halkias?

  I will say there's been an influx of of women saying gym bros have eating disorders. Like I've been seeing that a lot online. So maybe that's kind of what's going on here.

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  Wait, there's guys that go to the gym a lot that have eating disorders.

• 1:16:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, a lot of women have started calling like being a gym bro, because you know, those motherfuckers, you know, they track their.

• 1:16:29Speaker 03

  Meal prep.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  And they say it's a type of eating disorder. You know what? They might be right, I guess. But at the end of the day. Look, is is there a little bit of like your your wife is like a little jealous you're putting it together? You know what I mean? Because that does happen. I speaking, you know, me and Elders have both been the treacherous hater in the other's life. When we've been trying to get our shit together and we've both knocked the other off the wagon out of fat jealousy where it's like. Oh, hey, Elders, I see you're going to the gym. Do you want to get high and eat wings instead?

• 1:17:03Stavros Halkias?

  For a second. Oh, looks like I accidentally ordered extra lo mein. I guess I'm going to throw that away unless somebody wants it and then there goes two weeks of progress and I've dragged Elders down back with me. And he's done the same to me multiple times.

• 1:17:19Stavros Halkias?

  We do have a hilariously beautiful relationship. Uh, we've known each other since preschool.

• 1:17:27Speaker 04

  Don't let the technical aptitude I have.

• 1:17:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right. Yeah, everybody's looking at you like, look at that wizard.

• 1:17:33Speaker 03

  It's not the technical aptitude. It's the fact that you hold your finger up when you make a point.

• 1:17:41Speaker 03

  Actually, I am from Baltimore.

• 1:17:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. No, Elders was the only more poorer ethnic white at our school, so I I latched on to him. But yeah, I think could it be a little jealousy here, right? Like whenever you're getting your shit together and the people around you, they can't say they're like, hey, I feel bad about this. So they have to kind of cast little aspersions at what you're doing. That could be it. I mean, I think, again. Or when someone's on a new diet, right? Like the haters, when you're on like, you know, let's say you go low carb and people are like, well, you really need carbs. It's like, well, it's working for me. I'm fat as shit. Can I lose a little weight?

• 1:18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, let me let me be happy.

• 1:18:22Stavros Halkias?

  So I don't know. That's what it feels like to me.

• 1:18:24Speaker 03

  Maybe maybe his flavor is changing.

• 1:18:32Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, this is the, let's get some leafy greens in here.

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  Hey babe, could you ease up on the peanuts?

• 1:18:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's, yeah, I mean, that's gotta be what it is, right? Like, and by the way, you could just be like, hey, I'm just trying to get healthier and whatever. She might be teasing you. Maybe you're insecure. I don't know.

• 1:18:55Speaker 03

  I think women, some, you know, like women sometimes like, uh, uh, uh. Dad body guy. So maybe she's like, dude, you're looking a little too. Maybe I I kind of like the realness.

• 1:19:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. I mean.

• 1:19:09Speaker 03

  Women like curves in a way, you know?

• 1:19:11Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, it's possible.

• 1:19:12Speaker 03

  So maybe she's just like, hey dudes, don't don't lose your, because I do, I have heard women say that they don't like, uh, guys that. Look manicured in that way, like anything that looks too pretty. They're like, eh.

• 1:19:25Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it is true. If you have friends who are gym bros, it's like after a certain level of muscle. It's only men that are appreciating your body.

• 1:19:34Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  No woman wants, like, like, it's so funny when you see those videos and it's like, they show a regular guy and they show like a bodybuilder. And they'll be like, who's more attractive in the wi- most women pick a regular guy because they're like, that guy looks fucking scary. Gym bros can't process that. To them, they're like, what? But what's this all for? And it's like, it's for the attention of other men. So that is possible. Maybe your weight loss is going from.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  That's deep because I feel that way about like sneakers.

• 1:20:02Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:20:03Speaker 03

  I love sneakers and I'm like, man, only people that give a fuck about these sneakers is gonna be a dude.

• 1:20:09Stavros Halkias?

  The the amount of time, totally, the amount of times a woman, like who, let's say you hooked up with. Wouldn't have hooked up with you if you were wearing fucking, you know, Keds.

• 1:20:19Speaker 03

  Literally, yeah.

• 1:20:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's like maybe one girl out of a thou- a thousand.

• 1:20:23Speaker 03

  Either they're clean and cute or whatever. They don't care.

• 1:20:26Stavros Halkias?

  They don't give a fuck at all.

• 1:20:27Speaker 03

  Rare or.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  They don't know the number, Jordan, you're wearing.

• 1:20:33Speaker 03

  But maybe it's that. Maybe maybe you're getting too girly, bro. I mean, you are in doggy style getting your ass.

• 1:20:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe the clues were out there all along.

• 1:20:45Speaker 03

  Maybe she's like, this guy's getting a little girly on you, man.

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  Could you eat a steak? Could you eat something with a knife, brother?

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  Could you cut something that bleeds?

• 1:20:57Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 1:20:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I guess, I mean, it must be so annoying if you're just a regular, if you're just a normal person, it's like the, like. The person you're with is tracking every calorie, is won't drink, won't like, because that's like. I become way less fun when I'm trying to lose weight because I'm thinking about my meals. I'm not getting fucked up, you know? And this all might just be, it's all together. She might just be like, you're being, it's a little annoying. I'm happy for you, but.

• 1:21:24Speaker 03

  When the when the person eating your ass asks if you have an eating disorder.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  You might have an eating disorder.

• 1:21:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. She might just be checking to see what your gut biome is like back there.

• 1:21:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, she probably cares.

• 1:21:37Stavros Halkias?

  She ate your ass and then spit it into a tube and sent it off to, uh, sent it off to a fucking GI doctor. Is he getting enough? Is he getting enough protein?

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  I hope she listens to this.

• 1:21:51Stavros Halkias?

  Me too. Elders, you got something fun for us to go out on, little buddy?

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  There's more fun?

• 1:21:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's not going to be as fun as that.

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  Is that a popular thing now? Ass eating and getting milked?

• 1:22:05Stavros Halkias?

  I've I've heard of the milking table, but I do not know. I don't know.

• 1:22:08Speaker 03

  A milking table.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta be honest with you. What he described, sounds interesting to me. I've never gotten my ass eaten, but I'm listening from that description. Something about the all fours is interesting.

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  All fours is so funny.

• 1:22:24Speaker 03

  Even if I were interested, it'd be so hard to get me to believe you're not going to stand up and say, ah.

• 1:22:42Stavros Halkias?

  You're on all, you're like, it takes up a lot of like, all right, fine, I'll do it. And you just hear like a.

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? You're right. We're not doing better than that. That's the episode.

• 1:22:55Speaker 03

  I'm not doing it. I'm not fucking doing it.

• 1:22:57Stavros Halkias?

  Watch the special, folks. Uh, it's so, it's really so fucking funny. I got, they sent it to me early. I'm very, I was very happy to watch it immediately. You guys are gonna love it.

• 1:23:06Speaker 03

  Ah shit, thanks, Doc.

• 1:23:07Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, it's so, the joke writing is so fucking good on there and it's it's great to see you doing stand up. Uh, yeah, watch the fucking special on Netflix either tomorrow or it's already on Netflix right now. Michael Che shot in Minnesota. See you next time, guys. Bye. Che, thanks for coming.

• 1:23:24Speaker 03

  Yo, thank you, man. This was so much fun.