Bonus #176 - Mike Mitchell [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Mike Mitchell returns to the pod to discuss getting disrespected as a fat man on planes, lying about your weight to the doctor for no reason, his NYC food diary, why The Whale was terrible, the effects of Ozempic on your dong, and much more. Mike and Stav help callers including a woman whose mother has turned her inheritance property into a trailer park for tweakers, and a guy whose friend's coworker won't pay him for a gambling bet he won. Follow Mike Mitchell: https://x.com/bdayboysmitch https://www.instagram.com/mynamesmitch ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts, or visit SiriusXM.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  So my father passed away when I was 16. I'm 24 now, and it was always kind of like an agreed deal that when he passed away, I was gonna get the property. But it happened when I was really young, so obviously that didn't happen. But like, as I've moved out, my mom kinda took it over, and like, now they all live on campers. There's her and like, her kinda fuck buddy. They live on two different campers, and they named the whole-

• 0:55Stavros Halkias?

  Not even fucking boyfriend. Your mom's got a situationship that's squatting on your land

• 1:02Stavros Halkias?

  in a fucking trailer. That's fucking tough, dude. That's white trash bingo right there. Okay, keep going.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  ...property into basically like, a meth head junkyard.

• 1:13Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, we really just got meth head-

• 1:14Speaker 01

  But I digress.

• 1:15Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, white trash bingo.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  My mother's getting up there in age. She's like, almost 70. And I really, really want to make sure that when she passes, it's set in stone that I'm going to inherit this property.

• 1:35Stavros Halkias?

  Your mother who's a meth head-

• 1:36Speaker 01

  So how do I bring up to my mother that we need to talk about her will? To, because to me, it feels like I'm basically going up to her and being like, "Hey mom, so you're getting really fucking old. Well, let's talk about what's gonna happen afterwards." Like, I get that that's like a conversation that needs to happen, but how, how do I do that with my mother? Um, anyway, love you. Bye-bye.

• 2:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is, I mean, this is tough. I will say this, though. You shouldn't feel awkward about this. And the fact that you're sweating it, to me, just shows that your mom, doesn't sound surprised before we know, isn't that good a parent, right? Cause I will tell you this, I don't know if you guys have, but like- My mom straight up was like, has talked about her will, has talked about her plans, has been like we. There was a moment like a couple of years ago where we set up her like living, like you know, trust and I did this, just to be safe, I did the same, you know, we all just. Everybody's getting older, you know, I have a plan in place even just in case, you know what I mean? A young, healthy buck like me, I mean, people would be shocked if I was.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  You giving anything to Elvis?

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  No, yeah, Elvis, Elvis is gonna wake up, it's gonna be like a Saw style game. It's gonna be, it's gonna be Elvis and fucking, who else? You, you're gonna be fucking chained to Ian Fydance. And it's gonna be like, what, there's like a, a key just out of reach. You have to fucking saw off Ian's ankles.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  In your last days, you record those videos?

• 3:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I was just like, this is weird, what is this for? It's like, don't worry about it. He, he's the one who helped me fucking put them together. He forgot, he wasn't paying attention.

• 3:21Stavros Halkias?

  I'm doctoring your will. You, you, you will never have access to my actual lawyer.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  My mom, my mom's seventy-seven, which I even now, as time goes on, you're like, that's, I want her to live a lot longer than that, but uh, she's talked about her, she talks about her will arguably too much.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, that's exactly.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  And we'll be like, this is, I want this song played at my funeral, all this shit, we're like, alright, shut the fuck up, I don't wanna think about this. But, but uh, I'm sorry that you're a member of the dad, the dad's club. And I, I don't know if the funeral director showed uh, your dad's dick.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, did you, did the funeral director make you look at your dad's dick? Asshole, like a step, like a fucking periscope? Did you walk in on the funeral director? And man, maybe we need, here's what, here's how we saw this, we send the Jerker to exhume your father's corpse. I wonder if his powers stop working, if there's no meat on the skeleton? Maybe that's what it is, you have to at least have meat. It would be funny if he can make you be zombies though, if he can jack off a skeleton and it would be like, ooh. We don't know, we actually don't know the extent of the Jerker's powers.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  He might evolve his power fucking stronger.

• 4:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if he's, if he's really strong, if he's jacked off. If he's got, his powers are the more, the most potent right after he jacks off. So if you have a really hurt kid, he's just fucking beating off real fast.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  He's in the ER jacking his shit, trying to get to full strength so he could save a whole busload of orphans that crashed.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  You just hear him in the bathroom attached to the room like, "Come on, come on."

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  These kids have to live, man.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  The parents like, "You need any help? Stop talking, please. I'm trying to focus. Uh, if you want, my wife can suck you off if that means my son lives." It's like, "No, it doesn't count if I get sucked off. I'm the Jerker, not the getting sucked off or idiot." He gets an attitude with the parents. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just as high leverage. Now stop talking to me so I can finish jacking off and save and bring your children back to life" by grabbing their arms and pretending they're being off.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so the Jerker probably can't help us here because your dad's been dead quite some time. So that's unfortunate because that would have solved everything.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  To bring your dad back to life and testify.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  That the Jerker doesn't exist, I guess.

• 5:48Stavros Halkias?

  The Jerker and the whale are real if you believe it, Mitch. Okay, so unfortunately, the Jerker and the whale can't be of any help here. But what I would do, what I would do, okay, look. What is your relationship to your mom? Step number one is you find your own lawyer. That's absolute step one, right? Find your own lawyer. See if, if there were any legal documents, go through what happened when your dad passed, if your name is anywhere. And other than that, and I think that's just, you know, standard protocol, right? Like, just understand where you're at. It seems like her relationship with her mom is pretty good. Her mom is just kind of on her own, in her own world.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  It seems like. How you bring it up is like, hey, I mean, I think you have a perfect way to bring it up where you're like, hey, you know, me and dad always, I mean, this might be kind of corny or I don't know how hard it is to like... Get your mom to take you seriously, but I don't know, is there like an anniversary of your dad's passing? Or is there like, is there like his birthday, or is there like something that almost triggers a memory? Where you're like, I was thinking about it, I was reflecting, it's like dad always wanted me to have this, I love this property, like can we just? I'd love for us to just like, put it in writing.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:59Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and if your mom fight you on that, then like, that's a bigger problem.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would, did she say that she had siblings at all, or is that what she's afraid of? Or she's afraid of it like going to this like situationship guy?

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  I would assume, yeah, who knows? Even though she's not married, the mom at least isn't married to him, which I guess is good, but you never know.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  She could have an old meth head squatter who's fucking her seventy year old meth mom. I'm also curious about the meth head thing.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  I don't know, I don't know how flippantly she's using meth head.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  If it's like, you know, the place is just trash, but they're just like train wrecks of people.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe they just party every once in a while, smoke a little ice to cool off.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Not, not a ton of seventy year old meth heads either, right?

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, that is true.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  You're usually kinda, your time's up.

• 7:40Stavros Halkias?

  Is this like a Cher situation where her mom's got like a sexy young meth head boyfriend?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus, that is, that is, that's a scary scenario.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's scary.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, that is scary.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  Basically, I would say talk to a lawyer, because here's how I see the situation. Either, you talk to your mom, and she, it's a little awkward, sure, but also she's not fucking stupid, she knows she's seventy. And if she was a good parent, here's the thing you need to understand, if she was a good parent, she would be making this easier on you. She would be meeting you halfway, she would be saying like, let's get everything, I want you to be taken care of when I'm gone, all this stuff, right? So either you bring it up to your mom, and you just have the hang up, cause you think it's weird to talk about death? I'll tell you it's not, we've all talked, like we just said, we've talked about with our moms.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you're fine.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  It's not a comfortable conversation.

• 8:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's not comfortable, but, but, but it's, but it also, it's like, it almost feels clinical, right? It's like, it's like when you show the doctor your balls, you're not, your dick's not getting hard. Like, talking about dying, when no one's actually gonna die, it's like, yes, we're talking about this conceptually. But, no one's, right now, no one's like, in danger here.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  So I want my sister, I was like, I was having some issues and I went to my sister's doctor. And it was a lady doctor. And she was like, gave me an inspection. I was like, just so you know, it's like, uh, like it's been very, I said this, I was like, I've had like a lot of shrinkage and she.

• 9:01Stavros Halkias?

  Just so you know, my dick's kind of like medically.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  And then she, and then when she was giving the exam, she's like, oh yeah, I see.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  The confirmation of it like killed me more.

• 9:11Stavros Halkias?

  You have a medically small dick.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  The dog is like, oh, absolutely. I could put, I'll put this official diagnosis on your chart. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What do you mean you have had shrinkage? Your dick has gotten smaller? You've gotten?

• 9:26Speaker 02

  It was, it was like very compact. I was like.

• 9:27Stavros Halkias?

  Because it was cold? Oh, just lately? Your dick's been fucking compact lately?

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Look, it's not big always, but it was like I had, there was like a thing when my stomach.

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  Your dick, your dick tenses up?

• 9:38Speaker 02

  My dick tenses up a lot. Does that not happen to you or no?

• 9:41Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, a little, but not like, not to the point where I would tell a doctor about it.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:45Stavros Halkias?

  If I jack my shit, if I like fucking, you know, give it a couple hits against the old thigh, it'll loosen up. Not, I would never.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  You're already working with better than all I, I mean, also.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, listen, I, I did it beforehand. I'm talking really this, you know what I mean? Thigh, the very top of the thigh.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Oh man, that one on my chart next to, uh, weight three fifty to five hundred pounds.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  That's so funny to say that to your doctor. I got a rectal exam once. The guy, the guys were like, you know, lubed up his finger, put it up my ass.

• 10:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're like.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  I mean, it definitely was like.

• 10:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great bit, by the way. If anybody ever has the nerve to get it when they're getting a colonoscopy to be like.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  He did that. I definitely like made a weird little noise or something. It wasn't a moan, but it was like.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  But then after, after he did, I was like putting my pants on. I was like, whoa, I've never had that done before, just for like no reason.

• 10:44Stavros Halkias?

  You said that? By the way, no one's ever put anything in my ass before. You're like, you're literally like, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Every time he's feeling you're inside your ass.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  He just didn't respond at all.

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Sure, buddy.

• 11:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny. You're like. Your dick gets hard.

• 11:12Stavros Halkias?

  I shit all over his hair. Yeah, you nut, you moan nut and shit in his hand.

• 11:21Stavros Halkias?

  The trifecta.

• 11:25Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, that's never happened to me.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Do you usually moan nut and then shit in the guy's hair?

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, I guess what I would say to our friend here is, it's gonna go one of two ways. Either it's a little annoying up top and then you just have the conversation, or your mom's gonna be a dumb bitch.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  And not be helpful, in which case, you either, it's either not a non-issue, or you kinda probably need a lawyer. And I think-

• 11:59Speaker 02

  The other, the other thing too, I mean, like, I, I think this, my thought, like, my sister and I, every, every, my mom's family and my dad's family, I've just seen all of the shit with wills and it's like, it's never good.

• 12:12Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  You know, it's just, it's never good. And people are always fighting and it's just like-

• 12:16Stavros Halkias?

  Greek people, it's classic where it's like, whoever moves here, the people in Greece always steal your land.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, your cousin in Greece always steals, like, your land. It's just what happens.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  And, and it's that sort of thing of like, if you're, if you're almost like resigned to that already, it's good to like, I, I think having that conversation and then just like putting it out of your head and being like, I may never get this shit.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, I know that's hard because that's a good chunk of money or whatever.

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point. That's a great point, yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  But like, just being like, hey, this, at the end of the day, some young, big dick meth guy might steal this property.

• 12:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  It's a possibility. And I think having that conversation and making sure it doesn't happen, but then also like-

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I think really we need a little more info from her, cause it's like, how, are, are you just worried about the awkwardness of death? Cause if that's the case, I think this is a non-issue and you'll be fine.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  If your mom is just kind of a kooky, but nice woman ultimately.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  You'll be fine. If you're worried more about like, are her weird friends who live in these, in her fucking makeshift meth head trailer park, gonna try and take over? Like, that's, those are two different conversations, but-

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Also, she's, almost 70 is not that old either, you know what I mean? Like, uh, I might be dead before her mom, you know what I mean?

• 13:25Stavros Halkias?

  But it's old enough, though, I mean-

• 13:27Speaker 02

  It is, it is.

• 13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Almost, you're right. If she's in her 60s, it's not that, but it's, it's, you know, you're totally fine to have the conversation.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts, or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.