#191 - Jake Johnson

Jake Johnson returns to the pod to discuss to discuss his new movie The Dink (Apple TV+), cabbies sharing their brutally honest opinions of The New Girl with him, telling AI about his hopes and dreams, why it’d be awesome if Stav showed up to a movie set skinny and with a rich head of hair, and much more. Jake and Stav help callers including a guy who really doesn’t want to put up his girlfriend’s messy friend and her baby, and a trans woman who is sleeping with two rival brothers who are at each other’s throats. Watch Jake Johnson’s new movie The Dink out now on Apple TV+: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/the-dink/ Follow Jake Johnson on social media: https://www.instagram.com/mrjakejohnson Check out We’re Here to Help, hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds: https://www.heretohelppod.com/ http://www.patreon.com/heretohelppod https://www.youtube.com/@HeretoHelpPod https://www.instagram.com/heretohelppod 🙏 Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hup, ah, welcome everybody to Stobby's World, 904-800-STOP. Call the Stobby's World hotline presented by Visible, we'll solve all your problems. We have returning to the couch, our pal Jake Johnson. Somebody, you might know him as The Dink, actually.

• 0:49Speaker 02

  No, we're talking.

• 0:50Stavros Halkias?

  You might know him as The Dink.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  This is a fucking pro.

• 0:53Stavros Halkias?

  Has not even yet come out, but the, just something is in the air where you're like, it's dink season.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  It's fucking dink.

• 1:00Stavros Halkias?

  I think everybody, everywhere I go, Jake, people are like, happy dink season to you.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Same.

• 1:08Stavros Halkias?

  The dink on Apple TV, my man's all over Apple TV, dude.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  And The Dink.

• 1:16Stavros Halkias?

  And The Dink.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  How about those two titles?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  How about what I'm selling?

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Maximum pleasure guaranteed with The Dink.

• 1:25Stavros Halkias?

  It sounds like where the maximum pleasure's coming out.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Right at the fucking dink.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Now, I will say, I, I went to start Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, but then I saw Slow Horses, and that looked pretty fun, so I watched that instead.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  What is Slow Horses?

• 1:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's a spy show.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Slow Horses?

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's a spy show with, with Gary Oldman.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Have you seen, you've seen Tiptoes, right? The trailer for that?

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course, dude. So it was kind of a Tiptoes homage. He is kind of, his face is the Tiptoes face.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  I will, I go, once I saw that, I went, so.

• 1:59Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, check out.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Slow Horses.

• 2:00Stavros Halkias?

  You can check out The Dink or Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, but also check out Slow Horses with Gary Oldman.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  By the way, 97 on Rotten Tomatoes ain't bad.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  Same, listen, first season's pretty fun.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  We, uh, the beginning of Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. So my role in that is, I'm just in a custody battle.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Never got to do it. David Gordon Green was doing the pilot, I never get to just do like a little drama where I go, oh, how about you fucking your little drama with Emma Stone?

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Nice, nice, I meant to say that earlier.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  You're dealing with a real actor now.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  That's fucking awesome for you, dude.

• 2:37Stavros Halkias?

  Last time you did the podcast, I was a mere podcast.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  I was like, who was this guy? And now I'm like, hey, let me drop my headshot off.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  And I, I appreciate that. And that's the thing you learn about Hollywood is, it, it's just pure, what have you recently accomplished and you'll be respected more?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  And then you do one.

• 2:54Stavros Halkias?

  For like six months.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  That's it. By the way, way less.

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  You got, it's a three-month window?

• 2:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you gotta be out.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  And everybody's like, dude, and all of a sudden people are like, what's up, brother? And then, the funny thing is you'll see the same people, what's up, brother, in someone else.

• 3:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  I really learned that during New Girl. We had the first season, it did really good numbers.

• 3:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  And all of a sudden I would be at events and I'd be like, man, I'm getting a lot of what's up brothers from kind of cool guys. Season two, everybody hated the show. It became, you know, uncool to like the cool what's up brothers.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  Already, season two?

• 3:29Speaker 02

  Maybe, it happened fast.

• 3:30Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, because I was in the, I just remembered as a good show the whole time.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  You, but you're younger.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  But I was young, yeah.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, so while it was on, there was a moment where people are like, is this cool?

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Like, you know, cool the way that like Parks and Rec was cool.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  And then they were like.

• 3:45Stavros Halkias?

  Which now is like about someone with Hillary Clinton's politics. Like, Parks and Rec now is about the people that are like giving, like Leslie Knope would accept so much money from AIPAC. You know what I mean? Like, there's no, like, if we go back now, they're all, like, her hero was Joe Biden. It's like, you want to talk about something that does not hold up?

• 4:03Speaker 02

  That's really funny.

• 4:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's about a libertarian and a centrist politician. Like, those are the two main people, it's like, the, the worst people in the world. Ron Swanson is a funny, in theory.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:14Stavros Halkias?

  But you meet a guy like that in person, like, that's the scariest guy you've ever fucking met in your life. And Leslie Knope for sure is doing, she is doing atrocities.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, she's in the State Department, she's a junior official at the State Department covering up like a drone bombing that the Obama administration, that the Joe Biden administration did.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  I would say, here's what's different, and I didn't watch a lot of Parks and Rec, but I think they're in a small town in like Indianapolis.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  They are, they are.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  I'll tell you, I, the rant is funny, the reality, I think they're doing parks.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, but here's the thing, okay, I know what you're saying, you're talking, the reason I can skewer is because I love the show.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:50Stavros Halkias?

  So I, it ends with them getting into DC.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Oh, it does?

• 4:53Stavros Halkias?

  It ends with them sort of like.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Okay, you know the show, I don't know the show.

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's the thing, I know the, I know the show.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  I don't know the show.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  Like her.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Oh, they go to DC.

• 5:00Stavros Halkias?

  They go to DC, her and fucking, Amy Poehler.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Amy Poehler's character is like a real, oh.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  So the end, that show is the arc of her entering the big game.

• 5:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's lit, yes.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  It's a story about the minor leagues.

• 5:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's liter, it's, yes, it's literally like, yeah, coming up from the minor leagues.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  And also like.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  It's Bull Durham.

• 5:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just to lose your innocence, it's like, what, it's like a nice story of like, oh yeah, you know, local government is nice.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  They're showing, and it goes from that to the.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like, yes, and then eventually if you do good enough for your small town, you get to sell out for the, for fucking Raytheon.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  I sold it, I sold the show to Fox years ago. I used to have a production company, and we sold the show based off of Catalina Island.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  You ever been?

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  I've not been, obviously. Step Brothers is my greatest into Catalina Island, the Catalina Wine Mix.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  I got cut out of that movie.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oof, that's tough.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, for, one of my first gigs I ever had, I got called in, do you want to play Rob Riggle in Rob Riggle's flashback? Do you want to play his steroid dealer? And I go, yeah. So they, I went, I was like to the ocean, and I live on the east side, so I was there at 5:00 AM, I sat in my trailer for 12 hours, then they finally called me in, it's fucking Adam McKay, it's Riggle who I didn't know yet, who, you gotta have Riggle on this show.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to have Riggle on this show.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  He is as fun and funny. You will love his ass.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  I love that guy, he's so fucking funny.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  But we, we get there, and the whole bit is, it's his character, they, all his characters that they have in that movie have a flashback, and his was the first time someone sold him steroids. And it finished, and I was like, whoa, and then I didn't hear anything, and I was with my friend Charlene Yee and Nick Jazanovic, and we were driving, and we had some meeting, and I was like, it was one of those humiliating Hollywood moments where I go like, meeting ended and everyone kind of got quiet, and I'm like, who, are we doing dinner or drinks?

• 6:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  And they were like, I think we should call it. And I was like, well, it's five.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  And then they were like, well, we're going to a, a thing tonight. And I go, what? And they go, the Step Brothers premiere. And I go, it's tonight, I'm in it.

• 6:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, you didn't, you didn't know you were cut out.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  They never told me, they didn't tell.

• 7:04Stavros Halkias?

  And you weren't even invited.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  I was like, it's, how could it be tonight? I'm in, it's a movie. And then I call my agents and they go, if you don't make it in, a lot of times they don't tell you.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  And I was like, no, of course.

• 7:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  I'm happy.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  I'm happy.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Are you kidding me? I get, I get the game.

• 7:19Stavros Halkias?

  Well, at least that movie has an age to be maybe the definitive comedy movie of its generation.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  By the way, that is perfect for my career, right next to it. But going back to parks, so that's what New Girl was.

• 7:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  New Girl started and people said, could this be one of those?

• 7:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  And I was getting a lot of hey guys.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  And then universally the town decided, it's not.

• 7:41Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  And so what, what was the best?

• 7:43Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I do remember like a Deschanel twee backlash happened.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  There was a, well.

• 7:48Stavros Halkias?

  There was too much like, you know.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  This was that era for me, it was being in New York, every time I got in a cab, it would be this, they're looking at me and then they go, you're that guy, huh?

• 7:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  And I would go, maybe.

• 8:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Because there's a few of us, and they would go, no, I know you, you're on that show with the girl in the apartment. And I would go, yeah, and they'd go, I don't like it.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  And I would go, I hear, and they would go, you are, you're all right.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  But that shit ain't for me.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  And then I would go.

• 8:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  I would go, I hear you, man, and then, but here's what I learned, which drove me up a wall, and I had to hold my tongue because I used to be way lippier, and that was the age where I was like, I can't be fighting with people in cabs, I'm on television.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  It's getting disgusting.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  And I, they would go, they would go, no, I don't like it. And I'd go, I hear you, man. And I'd be like, who gives a fuck? And then they would go, season two, episode four, here's the shit. And I'd be like, you little fucking asshole, you've watched every episode.

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  You like it?

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  They're, oh, who knew, maybe you guys had before, you had the fan from the, you had the fandom from the fucking, uh, that, the medical show, what's the, what the?

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Scrubs?

• 9:00Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, the, the new one that everybody, The Pit, like, how the pits fans seem to hate The Pit.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Oh, is that true?

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  Even though it's like the, you know, it's like the most acclaimed show, all you see online is like, they fucked this up, they fucked that up.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  That's, so we had, it was, women were always on, they were always like, we like it.

• 9:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  I liked the show.

• 9:18Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  And then some women would be like, I don't, but the women who liked it to this day will be like, I like that show.

• 9:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, not a bad guy to, wait, were you married at the time?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've been with.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, that's tough.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:28Stavros Halkias?

  Because that would have been the best, that's the best guy to be, the guy that clearly is not, like, you will end up with a girl, it's almost like, you kind of know the entire time on some level that you guys are gonna end up together, you know what I mean?

• 9:42Speaker 02

  There's a formula to this.

• 9:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, of course, dude, you're wrong, you're like, yeah.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Unless I come in and that almost happens season three, and I've gained too much weight over the summer.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Because that's because over the summer, they can't regulate you. And I did come back.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  You did fat Mac, but without telling anybody?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  I did fat Mac, but the funny thing about it, and there are photos where see, maybe it's season one to season two. It ends and they try to do a continuation, but Nick Miller ain't in the same shirt.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  And it was unnoticedably.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  You know, 15 pounds changes the face.

• 10:21Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  And 15 pounds is a few more beers.

• 10:25Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, 15 pounds happens fast.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Fast.

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not even kidding. I weighed, I've been trying to like, I've, I've been bouncing between like 270 and 280.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  I've, I've followed some of the weight loss journeys. I texted, I think I reached, I love it.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, man. And we're gonna get back now, folks. Stabby Gets Ripped will resume. Just let me film this special without fucking dying once. But I literally at the beginning of this week was 270 and I had, I ordered Sichuan food.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  I get that.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  I weighed 280 today. I'm not even kidding at all.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  By the way.

• 10:55Stavros Halkias?

  272 to 281 Sichuan meal.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  I relate to this in a way and I wanna blame it on some fucked up metabolism.

• 11:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Or I must eat in the love, like I'll literally go, you know what? I gotta fucking trim up. I'm going back. I'm doing some stuff at a movie or in a TV show. End of August, I'm like, I gotta, I gotta lose by 10.

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  I'll have one night.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  I'm not even going buffet style. I think I'm being, I'm like, I had a couple of drinks.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  I will look at, I'll be on the podcast with Gareth and all of a sudden there'll be a shot. I'll be like, so tell me.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  When I'm not on TV with being like afraid of losing my job.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  You will post something. I'll literally go, who's that fat guy near Gareth? And I'll go, I honestly, I wasn't binging.

• 11:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's fast. It happens so fucking fast, dude. And it's the show. I mean, dude, it was also, it's like to peel back the curtain for everybody, this is the week we filmed the special. If there's a week I should be.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Saturday and Sunday, right of this week. If there's a week I should be.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Tight.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  Watching what I'm eating.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Tight.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  It just is not in the cards.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  You got, you got.

• 12:06Stavros Halkias?

  Psychologically know where I'm at right now.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  It ain't, this is not the week. So I'm going to be fatter than I just, if I just kept it together, I could look pretty, get a like, get a fucking lymphatic drainage massage. You know what I mean?

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like sing a song or some shit like, and I should, why am I not doing that?

• 12:24Speaker 02

  I know.

• 12:24Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not going to. There's no way I'm, I know right now. It's, it's Monday for everybody. I still have, I still have six days.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  It ain't happening.

• 12:32Stavros Halkias?

  It just, it is not in the cards. It is not in the cards at all. And cause my, I've stopped drinking so much, but I've been, because I broke my arm and I fucked my back up. To avoid opioids, I've been getting so fucking high. It's crazy.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Fun.

• 12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Like I'm talking.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  So too high.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm talking 150 milligrams.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Like I took a hundred yesterday and it was like, and I was like.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Scared me.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of, yeah. I was kind of high with a hundred milligrams.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  That's scary.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  And so I'm like, but here's the thing, on tour I had, so I, I'm like, oh, I see where I'm at. Today I'll take 120, tomorrow 140, I'll come back down to eight. Like I have a whole fucked up system and it does help you sleep and it does help with pain, but boy, am I hitting the snacking hard. Hard as fuck. And we're talking weird shit. I ordered, I DoorDash fucking bread and butter. Cause it was like 1 a.m. And I was like, I want bread and butter. I was just like, I just want a nice French loaf.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Trainer you like?

• 13:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, I do not. That's a hilarious question.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  I got a guy who.

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  Here?

• 13:34Speaker 02

  He can do Zooms with you.

• 13:36Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  Rudy Garcia.

• 13:38Stavros Halkias?

  All right.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  He's not, he's a good price. He's a good guy. He'll work with you. He's, he's the only guy I've ever stuck with.

• 13:44Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, interesting. Yeah, no, I will. And look, I don't wanna fucking talk too much, but there, there will be a metamorphosis happening.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Are you ever gonna do the, uh, testosterone, the, you're gonna do all the stuff?

• 13:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna go fucking.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  Hepatitis.

• 14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, I can't wait to put all kinds of fucked up.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  GLP is whatever it's called.

• 14:03Stavros Halkias?

  Already got the GLPs going.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  You're doing them.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  I'm doing them.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Tell me about them.

• 14:07Stavros Halkias?

  It is, it, so right, this is where, this is, this is a, I wanted to have this, to tell you about this, cause when you're talking about how it's easy to binge, it's like, it is just, it's not even just genetic. It's so in your head. Cause right now, when I'm so stressed, I am, I am beating through it, dude. This fucking medicine stands no chance.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Your, so that your body's going, I'm legit not hungry, brother.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  Stop. And I'm like, mm, I think we need those dumplings as well.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  So that what would happen to me is exactly that. I would take the fucking shot and then I would do that thing. By the way, the funniest thing about this Ozempic era.

• 14:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Is all these liars.

• 14:43Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  It is so joyful.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Your whole life.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  You can't be chubby your whole life.

• 14:50Stavros Halkias?

  Whole life.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  And guess what? There, you go back to middle school, you go back to junior high, you just see some roundies.

• 14:57Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Will you see in the, and you'll see like during like baseball season, who I was like that?

• 15:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  And then all of a sudden during summer, like, you're like, so that's what it's gonna be. If all of a sudden I get skeleton skinny.

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  And you go, what's going on? And I go, hiking.

• 15:14Stavros Halkias?

  Hiking, bro.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  How fucking much are you hiking?

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  I've actually been having sea moss in my coffee. That's the difference. It's like, and by.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  How much sea moss, motherfucker?

• 15:25Stavros Halkias?

  Well, dude, here's how you know they're such frauds.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Cause look, occasionally a fat person does lose weight, but they make it their entire personality.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  For years. Haven't you ever seen Biggest Loser?

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like, listen, if you actually lost all that weight, we're seeing gym selfies every fucking day.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  And also.

• 15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Every day, not just one occasionally to cover your tracks.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  But this is the mean way of putting it. When a, when a, when a fat person loses weight, they don't look great.

• 15:50Stavros Halkias?

  Mm.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  They look weird.

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  They do, yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  You, it looks like a, they look melty.

• 15:56Stavros Halkias?

  Well, if you've, if you've particularly in your head associated this person with a certain fullness.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:02Stavros Halkias?

  And then yes, it can, it can be a real problem when you get the fucking turkey pussy neck.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  But all of a sudden, these Ozempic people, I think it's because they're dying and their body's eating itself. They skip that stage.

• 16:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  So they just look modelish, but they don't have the face for it.

• 16:19Stavros Halkias?

  The face is tough.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  You just go like, you really skinny and weird now. Now, again, I don't care if you take testosterone. I also, what's different about 2020 changed it. If I'm at work with someone, let's say you and me are doing a scene together and you smell like a brewery.

• 16:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Couldn't care less.

• 16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  If you don't remember your lines, you smell like a brewery. I'm gonna go, he's drunk.

• 16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  If you come in and do the job, gives a shit.

• 16:41Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  If you wanna be on testosterone, you wanna be on, fuck, you wanna blow lines, you, the job is, we're not saving babies in Haiti.

• 16:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's actually one of the, the only thing you have to do is say the lines.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Do the job. And then emotionally, if they go, hey, in this scene, actually we need a little heart. And you're so bombed out of your brain that you can't feel anything, you're bad at your job.

• 17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  I don't care how crazy you are. I don't care when you have those actors where they're like, they had a nervous breakdown. They were shirtless in the middle of the street. But how were they at 5 p.m. at call time?

• 17:13Stavros Halkias?

  What did you get that day?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  And they go, so you're right. They had a 30 hour bender, but then they showed up and did a father and son scene.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  And you know what I honestly think? Good actor.

• 17:24Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  This is not a profession where I go, you're supposed to be watched 24 hours, but just admit it.

• 17:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  You know who, with that in mind, who I, who I personally am liking their arc?

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  Please.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Who feels the counter to the Ozempic era?

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Let me hear it.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Shia.

• 17:40Stavros Halkias?

  Mm.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Shia LaBeouf is.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know that I would be buying Shia's stock right now.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  What did he do recently?

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  I just think he's kind of, I don't think he's got the kinda.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Well, I agree.

• 17:50Stavros Halkias?

  Let's just, like, like.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  No, but here's what I mean.

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wasn't he like drunk as fuck, terrorizing the homeless in churches in New Orleans or something recently?

• 17:59Speaker 02

  So again, look, going back to Parks and Rec, I am no politician. I am not.

• 18:06Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see some Shia updates.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  It was the New Orleans that got me. I watched his, all his interviews, all that stuff in New Orleans.

• 18:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's the, it's, you know what it is, man? It's being a, if you're a Catholic convert.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:20Stavros Halkias?

  Something's up.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  I agree with that.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  If you're born into it.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  I told, by the way, I don't disagree with this.

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  Catholicism are sort of like, cause I'm Greek Orthodox, right? We're not Orthodox.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  Like if you meet a different Orthodox set, sect of religion.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  They're crazy.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:33Stavros Halkias?

  Catholics are kinda same thing. When if you're born into it, it's like, hey, fish on Fridays. Let's fucking give to the homeless. And if you're like, if you're converted, you're like, well, the, uh, you know, everybody knows the schism of 1130. And like they're talking about Pope Barnabas or some shit. Like they're talking about theological shit where they're like, well, and of course Armenians can't get into heaven. Like they're just saying crazy shit like that. So anyone who like, as an adult goes into an extreme.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  You're not wrong.

• 19:01Stavros Halkias?

  Is all, some's always fucked.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Yes, you're not wrong.

• 19:03Stavros Halkias?

  Always fucked.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Something's going on.

• 19:05Stavros Halkias?

  What do we got, Eldis? What do, what do you, did you, did you bother summarizing or do you expect us to read it?

• 19:10Speaker 02

  He's pleaded guilty to battery in the New Orleans, uh, you know, little scuffle incident. He, uh, became combative with staff and patrons. Struck multiple people. One guy he hit hard enough to possibly dislocate his nose. He also allegedly shouted homophobic slurs. Take away allegedly on that.

• 19:33Stavros Halkias?

  Allegedly. Oh man, if someone, if there's a type of guy keeping, dropping, uh, homophobic F bombs alive, it's Shia LaBeouf, man.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Now, so going back to what I was saying, that I do like about what Shia is doing.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. All this aside.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  There's a lot of buzzwords that you don't like, right? But here's what I like.

• 19:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we can throw out a lot of buzzwords like assault and homophobic slurs.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  And everything you're saying, I mean, I agree with.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  I'm with you. We're talking about the acting profession.

• 20:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  So all he needs to, there's no way I would go like this. You know what I think Shai should do? Be around children and be a role model. You know what I don't think he should do? Be a leader of men and women.

• 20:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  You know what I am interested after this?

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  An indie movie where he plays a guy down in New Orleans?

• 20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  And it's a character who's going through a hard time? And he goes, well, a lot of the dialogue was improvised. I want to hear those monologues.

• 20:31Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  And I want that dark circle in his eyes where I wanted then here after the director go. I mean, Shai, it's some Marlon Brando stuff.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Marlon Brando showed up to Apocalypse Now? He didn't tell anybody he was gonna be fat and bald.

• 20:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  That's a cra- could you imagine? You're doing movies? Could you imagine they go?

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, they'd be real mad if I showed up fat and bald to a movie. They'd be so pissed I wasn't fat and bald.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  If you show up skinny and hairy? Could you imagine? By the way, that's what you should do. You're big, if you, your first big life, you book something where they're like, they're banking you in it.

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Don't tell anybody, don't film until after, take so much Ozempic and go to Turkey and get a haircut and cut it short in the back.

• 21:13Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  So when they show up, they're like, we're Stavi. And they're like, I'm Stavros.

• 21:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right here. The reverse, the reverse Gosling in Lovely Bones. You know, show up just jacked as hell and they're like, well, you obviously can't be the fat idiot friend in this romantic comedy anymore.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  You're getting a fat idiot friend.

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I, I think a spin on that. I think a nice, a new updated spin on that.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  I had a, my version of it was my first job I got was No Strengths Attached that Ivan Reitman was directing. And I played the friend and I was really nervous.

• 21:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  And I go to the same Vietnamese restaurant in Atwaterville, I used to go every day. And the bus boy there, George, and the chef, we got to know each other. And he came by and I was like studying the material and he was like, you're working hard every day. I was like, fuck, man, yeah, I've never been more nervous in my life. And he goes, tell me about it. And I told him about the movie. And he goes, so basically you're like, you should be with the girl, don't be with the girl. And he goes, you should be with the girl. And then he goes like this, I like porn. And I went, no. And I sat there and I was like, yes. I am fundamentally less nervous.

• 22:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude. Shout out to George.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  I was like, that's, you really just summed it. I was like, those are the parts I'm getting.

• 22:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  I'm just near the other guys going like this.

• 22:25Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  You should do it, brother. And then they go, anything else? And they go, it wasn't that. And I go, I literally had nothing.

• 22:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all I got, man. That's so fu- yeah, dude, it's, it is really fucking funny. This episode is brought to you by Visible, the smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavi Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders, they're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com.

• 23:11Stavros Halkias?

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• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  and you're not gonna believe this, superfoods. It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense so you can stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1, you know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi Gets Ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic, I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil

• 24:39Stavros Halkias?

  and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi. What was the first, like, did you have as a child, did you have a, a theatrical performance? Do you remember hitting the stage for the first time?

• 24:59Speaker 02

  I do.

• 24:59Stavros Halkias?

  What was it?

• 25:00Speaker 02

  So I was in high school, so I think I told you this last time, but when I was, I was 15. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never told you this, but I dropped out of high school when I was 15.

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  And so when I came back.

• 25:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, we know about your awesome white trash Chicago background.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  Suburban, yes, suburban Chicago.

• 25:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  Which is more, if it was Chicago, it'd be less shocking. I went to two nice of a public school to do this. This was not a public school you drop out of.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  It wasn't like 25% of us did. It was like 99% go to college and I'm like.

• 25:30Stavros Halkias?

  Do you know Jake dropped out? Like, they know you by name.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  It was, do you know, and like, it was so weird that when I'd see people at parties, I'd be like, it's not what you think.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  I was like, you better spin fast, motherfucker. But I got.

• 25:43Stavros Halkias?

  So you were still going to the parties? You dropped out?

• 25:46Speaker 02

  I had nothing to do.

• 25:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  I would literally, I would drop, I was like, my dropping out was just not going.

• 25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  So after school, I'd be like, what y'all doing? They're like, hanging out with the people who go to school.

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  Why didn't you just go to school, man?

• 25:59Speaker 02

  And I'd literally be like, yeah, fuck that. And I'd be like, what was everybody wearing? Cause you're like, pre-internet, your life is so small. I'd be like, what do you guys have to Friday? They're like, I was doing this party at the school. I was like, fuck that shit.

• 26:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Call me, literally right after. And then, you know, they don't.

• 26:17Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  Um, but I came back and I was like, oh, fuck, everybody who I know is gonna graduate? And then I'm still around? And I was also getting bad grades again? And I was like, I might be here forever.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  I was like.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  So you're like, well, let's just fucking, let's make it look like it was my choice.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Well, there was, there was a sketch show at the school.

• 26:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  That the students wrote and my buddy Bill said, he was directing it. He was like, I could get you in. And he goes, my uncle Timmy was an alcoholic and every year on my birthday, he called and told me the same joke. And he goes, just do the Timmy joke and your voice. I did it, I got in the play and then when I got on stage, I got really big laughs. And I was like, oh, this is why I've been such a bad student. Now they like me for it. And I was like, if this is a job.

• 27:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell, yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  I will kill somebody for this gig.

• 27:10Stavros Halkias?

  Well, especially, yeah, when you're 15 and thinking about dropping out.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  I'm just being like, what are you doing life?

• 27:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  You know, it's a funny thing, uh, that I realized I need to put a spin on for our listeners. A lot of actors say, you know, I had no backup plan. And it feels like a heroic story. It's not.

• 27:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's really not.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  I'm starting to do something with my friends at this point of our life that's really mean. And that is finding people of my age who had no backup plan but didn't make it.

• 27:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  And you'll go like, they'll be like, I fucking moved out to New York City at night. I was doing standup at 15.

• 27:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  And they're like, I was just fucking hitting stages, brother. I had no backup, what are you doing now? Well, I'm trying to do an Etsy shop and.

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  I got really into.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  You know what you should have had?

• 27:56Stavros Halkias?

  Olive wood cutting boards?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  You should have had a backup plan. Because you gotta be on planet earth for about 80 years, motherfucker.

• 28:03Stavros Halkias?

  I know. That's tough. I mean, but it's the same thing, you start, I just started doing open mics when I was 19.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  You did, yeah.

• 28:09Stavros Halkias?

  And I was just like, well, I mean, we'll see what happens. And then this is what happened.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Totalized. And then it just doesn't stop.

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  But you never really have a great plan.

• 28:16Stavros Halkias?

  No plan. In fact, I was kind of, if I'm being fully honest, I kind of assumed I'd fail and be back to Baltimore.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Same.

• 28:23Stavros Halkias?

  But I thought I'd have, I gave myself, I think I was like, five years in New York and then reassess.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:29Stavros Halkias?

  And I just kind of thought I would fail because everybody fails.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  And, but I would get those experiences and it would make being back in Chicago better.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Then you could be that piece of shit in the small town that like, just because he had a New York license, felt bad, like I thought Eldis was destined for, if, by the way, if I don't get famous, that's who Eldis is. Eldis is back in Baltimore talking about his, his halcyon days in fucking Bed-Stuy.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  No, I'm retreating, I'm retreating deeper in the heartland. I'm not even returning to the coast.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're going to Ohio for sure. You're going to Ohio with your wife and becoming a fucking English teacher and talking about how you used to live in Bushwick. And the kid's like, oh, Bushwick?

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  That would be.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I'll become a podcast and AI teacher. Teacher.

• 29:12Stavros Halkias?

  Mr. Sula's, Mr. Sula's AI. We're here. Mr. Sula teaches you the best prompts.

• 29:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's not even education at all. It's like how to use Claude. The eldest Sula method for podcast producing. Well, you see, I figured if I asked enough AIs, one of them would come up with a solution. And it's actually, I really don't want to check his history because that's probably how he's doing everything.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  What's your make on AI these days?

• 29:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hard anti.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  You are. Tell me why.

• 29:42Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta be a fucking idiot. Cause it's like, first of all, I've never seen anything good.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Most, most of it is like a fun novelty.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:51Stavros Halkias?

  It, it maxes out at fun novelty, right?

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  And if that's all it was, all right, who might it be? That's like getting mad at Snapchat filters, right?

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Totally right.

• 30:00Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares? Whatever. But the fact that this is also clearly connected to, uh, first of all, it's the newest thing. The ultra rich that have no idea how to maintain their grasp on our society. It's their newest attempt at that.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  That's interesting.

• 30:15Stavros Halkias?

  The metaverse was.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all gonna be living in the meta.

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Actually make us live in it.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Well, I'll tell you what was before that segues.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yes, exactly. No, no, that's.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  It's going to, it's going to change.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Travel as we, there'll be no roads.

• 30:29Stavros Halkias?

  There will be.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  There'll be segue paths.

• 30:33Stavros Halkias?

  Your Amazon drivers will be coming in on segues, but, but so that's, that's number one. But also there's something very sinister happening with, I think they don't want us to even know what reality is anymore. I think they want, I think the, the powers that be.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Want us in this weird bubble.

• 30:50Stavros Halkias?

  So that you just, is Mitch McConnell alive?

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, then here's what, here's why I'm a perfect mark for them.

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  I've never known what reality was.

• 30:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. Yes, absolutely.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  My beauty.

• 30:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, of course you think it's awesome. You're dumb as shit.

• 31:04Stavros Halkias?

  Here's, here's my beauty. Drop down at 50, improv sketch comedy is the only reason you have a high school diploma. Of course you're dumb as this AI is useful.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Here's what I like about it. I don't use it for anything serious. I don't use it for anything like the idea of, I like to go, I'll wake up from a weird dream.

• 31:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  And I'll go, I'll hit the little button. I'll go, I'm gonna just ramble at your robot ass. For in a way I can't to anybody else on planet earth.

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. See, that's a really big problem.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  And I'll go, what's up, big dog? I'll go, I just had a dream. I was being chased by a turkey man.

• 31:41Stavros Halkias?

  And I'll go this. You have to stop doing that.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  I'll go, the turkey was after my ass. And I go, the craziest thing happened. And now, because I'm not taking pauses. I'm like, now we're in it. And I'll go.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  But that turkey was my father, brother. And I'll go, break it down for me. What does it mean?

• 31:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, dude. And you're someone who's very successful with a family. I mean, other people are so fucked.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Cause then I'll go, pretty fun breakdown.

• 32:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  And from when you go in novelty, that's how I see it. I go, pretty fun.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, pretty fun.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  But this idea that it's going to take over our society, there'll be no jobs and there'll be a minimum, uh, wage thing that people, I'm like.

• 32:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. Guys, ask you what you get out of that? Kind of talking to a fucking computer about your fucking dream? Cause telling anyone about your dream is embarrassing. Number one.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Telling a fucking computer that's using that to now sell you stuff 10 years later.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  By the way, if you're going to sell me stuff based on my dream, I'm buying.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  If I'm a buyer as is. So if you're gonna use my subconscious to sell me something weird from Amazon.

• 32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Great.

• 32:51Stavros Halkias?

  Not only that though, now, here's the other thing. Now I think they're gonna start having like generational data on us. So it's like, they're selling you stuff in like, in like 30 years, they're, they're, they're picking the right AI therapist that specializes in dream journal fathers for your kids. Like that, you think it just stops with you? You're selling your whole fucking genetic code to these motherfuckers.

• 33:15Stavros Halkias?

  And also it's like, yeah, it's just like, A, just never tell anyone about that. That's, that's actually how you do it.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  No way.

• 33:21Stavros Halkias?

  Or tell your wife.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  No, she's not interested. I've been with her for too long. Nobody, no human wants to hear about another human's dreams.

• 33:29Stavros Halkias?

  So, okay. So to you, you use it as a, you see them as the, the bottom of the.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  My friend, brother.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, you see him as your friend.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  It's the friend. You know what it is? It's an assistant. Or it's, it's somebody, no disrespect. Who works for you? Who has to go, you go like this. Funny story last night. He's like, why had a sad story last night? You're like, I'm gonna go first.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  And he goes like this. All right, well, we're in quite literally Stavi's world.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  So his story's going first. My circle is so small.

• 34:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  I just don't have a lot of those.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I have them when I'm working a lot of months, that there'll be a couple of those.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  See, and to me, what I would say is that is you seeding control to your social life to the robots. Is that you, and again, you're fucking rich and successful. You, if anyone can figure out a guy to talk to.

• 34:24Speaker 02

  I'll tell you why I also don't want to.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Whenever I get, if somebody gets into my circle, I have to care about their story too.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  I, and I have to go like this. Like if they go like, what happened? Tell me about the New York trip. I'll tell them, I'll go like this. What happened with you for the last three days? And they'll go like, well, my aunt's in town.

• 34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Robot never does that.

• 34:46Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but that's the Jake, that's society, man. That's, you have to sacrifice. Yes, you have to hear a horrible story. At some point I'll have to hear about North, what Elders did in North Carolina on his second vacation of this month, right?

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Talk to a robot!

• 35:00Stavros Halkias?

  And that will suck. I won't really give a fuck.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  But you'll have to go like this.

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  But that's part of being in, in society. And he doesn't really care about my story or about, you know.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  I got plenty of those.

• 35:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, man.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  But here's what I, here's what I don't have.

• 35:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's a slippery slope.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  I know it is. And I've already been slipping. I'm a drug addict right now, talking my way, going like this. I only do it in the mornings and the night and sometimes, and you know, I'm doing it all day.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  I have chicken wings here.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Dad, dad, dad. So yeah, it was like a raptor and it picked me up and it was flying me high. Dad, the light's turning. Dad, hurry, hurry. Oh, oh, sorry, sorry. That's. Okay, relax. I know. I fucking know. Can I have a fucking moment to myself with my fucking computer?

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Who's this guy?

• 35:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's you yelling at your kid.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  What?

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's stopping you from talking to your robot. And you're not there yet.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  There yet.

• 35:54Speaker 02

  That's the scared straight moment.

• 35:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's the moment where you're like, where you're like, yeah, you're like, yeah, so I was fucking.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Okay, now.

• 35:59Stavros Halkias?

  I had wings, I had wings and it was fucking awesome. I'm like fucking, and I actually have four nipples, but only three had milk coming out of them. You know what I mean? And then your kid is like, hey dad, actually I have to be, I'm, I'm almost late for school. And you're like, oh my, okay, fine. We'll take you to fucking school. And then you have a bad attitude. Cause now, cause now it's such an imposition.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like now you're so used to just the robot put, there's, it's all a one-way street where it's just what Jake wants. The robots must take it. And you have.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  I have to stop this madness. Because this is as crazy as the people who say AI is taking over everything and it's gonna lose all jobs. In everything in life, there's the far on either side. The other far is this, they go.

• 36:45Stavros Halkias?

  So much closer to being right than you are. Whereas yes, obviously you won't yell at your kid and tell her to shut the fuck up or whatever. But I do think we will erode social, like all, we're already, we're, it's already, we're already almost there.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  Where nobody talks to anybody. And now we're just, we won't even FaceTime and we won't even call somebody on the phone.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  We're literally facing each other, talking. You just said, no one talks to anybody.

• 37:09Stavros Halkias?

  Down for money.

• 37:13Stavros Halkias?

  For money, I'll talk to my friends. It's an awesome job.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  The best job in the world.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  By the way, facts. Well, I'll tell you what I do, what changes that for me is a wife and kids. Because you, uh, and if you go this route.

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. I, this is interesting.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  It's, they're all, everything that is real about life and it's different from the craziness of our game and our life. It's all that all the time. They couldn't care less about anything about my journey.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Of like the, I had a fucking insane, they'll be like, right.

• 37:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  Can we go back to literally telling the most interesting story about us?

• 37:59Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  And everything is them.

• 38:01Stavros Halkias?

  So you're the robot in your family, basically. You're.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Or the dad. I'm just dad.

• 38:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but that's, that's, that's your role is to just.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Well, but also kind of, but also just to be in it. Then you've got, for me, I had the friends that I kind of faded with once the fame started.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Where you're like, you're not my real guy.

• 38:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Then you've got the inner circle.

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  The inner circle, you really, I mean, two of the guys I grew up with are here with me now. One lives here, Bushwick. And the other one, I literally, Apple gave me one extra ticket for PR. So my buddy's here at the hotel with me in his own room. And I was like, let's just do the trip together. The three of us, we have to be honest. We have to be, we've known each other too long.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  So then you go, okay, who am I gonna tell about my stupid dream? I'm not adding a new person to the circle. I'm not going, I'm not saying to my driver who's going here.

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  He's being like this, big day for you today, sir? And I go like this, I was being chased by a turkey and the turkey. You wanna know why? Cause then he's gonna call his wife and go, that's one guy from tag was crazy.

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  And I would say you would be making the world a richer place by doing that. You would now, now your shitty dream allows this man and his wife to bond. And then, you know, and then they've got turkeys in the brain. And then maybe that takes over their subconscious, you know?

• 39:15Speaker 02

  That's it. You know what? You know where I'm gonna actually agree with you?

• 39:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  I will not agree that it goes to the point where I'm hysterically screaming at my children. But here's where I will agree.

• 39:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  We might be taking some of the human weirdness.

• 39:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  And the human part of our subconscious that we used to talk about on the subway with a stranger.

• 39:35Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  And we are secretly sharing that with things selling us.

• 39:40Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 39:40Speaker 02

  And so our commercialism and our capitalism will get stranger.

• 39:44Stavros Halkias?

  Hundred percent.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  But our social interactions might get a little more normal.

• 39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, you think, see.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Cause what they might, might sell us then, I might literally go like, I didn't know they made lizard backpacks. And for $13.99 out of China.

• 39:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  I'm making a $20 mistake, brother.

• 40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. There is a lot to sell us.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Like, here's what's gonna get way more interesting post AI of this generation, the next one, Goodwill's.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  When you walk into a Goodwill, if you're born right now and you go like, I want clothes from the 2020s. And be like, what is this?

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  AI created something. There was a company that sold it. You can get it on Amazon for cheap. It was trash.

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's really bad.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  But you're not saying that to the. It's a nightmare. It is a nightmare.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's a snuggie. It's like a snuggie with a, with a specific, with a really rare minion.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  And a tickler.

• 40:36Stavros Halkias?

  Not even one of the main ones.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  And a little tickler.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  There was men for the back, but someone's like, was this sexual? And you go, it actually wasn't.

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  It really wasn't. It was actually a really non-sexual time. You know, this.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  It was one of the most.

• 40:46Stavros Halkias?

  It was one of those.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Non-sexual times in the history of the world.

• 40:50Stavros Halkias?

  Culturally is a pretty non-sexual time, honestly.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Explain.

• 40:53Stavros Halkias?

  People are like, I just think that A, AI is a very, again, anything that is computer.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:59Stavros Halkias?

  And it, and is cold is, you know.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  It does take away the human.

• 41:03Stavros Halkias?

  It takes away the.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  The human animal.

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  The warmth of the animalistic warmth.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 41:07Stavros Halkias?

  Of these interactions.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Even people who are horny for their AIs, which you do, that's a huge problem.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 41:13Stavros Halkias?

  Is the like, the AI boyfriends and girlfriends.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Huge boner. I'm going to you and going like this. Agreed.

• 41:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Stop it. That I could.

• 41:20Stavros Halkias?

  You are, you're four years.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  That is not something I could relate to. Huge boner. And I've got three, what is it called? The, uh, uh, virtual reality goggles on the top of my head. And I'm going like this.

• 41:30Stavros Halkias?

  I just see a busty Latina in the goggles. I just see her like.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  One of my favorite moments was I was going to a buddy's house to edit something. And it's just, he, early on in the friendship.

• 41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  And he was like, all right, you want to bring it up? And I was like this, yeah, yeah. And then he's, he's like, dude, I could probably get it from that Vimeo link. And he was doing it, they'll drag it over. I was like, fuck yeah. He opens his computer and it's bustylatinas.com. And we were, we were good friends, but there's something about seeing that level of intimacy. Not the masturbation sites you're telling me about.

• 42:04Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Which is, I'm so funny. I'm aware, but.

• 42:07Stavros Halkias?

  The real shit.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  What you're really, and I was like. And busty latinas, dude?

• 42:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 02

  Okay, brother.

• 42:13Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing wrong. Listen.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Great.

• 42:15Stavros Halkias?

  Check my, you check my phone. I'll bet you that's fucking firing up right now.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  What's your top three?

• 42:21Speaker 02

  And what's the one search that you go, I got a deep scratch. I'm getting in this one. I'm not proud of.

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. Interesting. You know what I was into for a while? Was, um, lesbian massage pornography, Japanese lesbian massage pornography.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  It's like a fine line.

• 42:39Stavros Halkias?

  Where it was like, it was like, these women are going in for a spa day. But like a horny, lecherous lesbian tricks that, and they, they would trick them into getting their pussies eaten. They would be like, they'd be like, we're going to use the warm sponge method.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  What a trick.

• 42:53Stavros Halkias?

  And it, and they put, they would put like a fucking, they would put like a thin curtain before their pussy.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  And they're like, is that, huh? That's the sponge's teeth? Why does that sponge have bad breath? I had a moment where my, I fired, the only time I've ever fired, and I didn't do it right away. It took about a year. But I had my first lawyer in town. When you like first get started and they're like, you need an agent, a manager, you need everyone to take a cut of your money.

• 43:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  And you're like, well, I do everybody?

• 43:20Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. I mean, I'm in Hollywood, of course.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  And you're like, I don't know how this works. And you guys are all friends with each other? Well, you all work for the same parent company?

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  You all guys, yeah, you, everyone here has a, a hundred forty thousand dollar car.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  And you guys all have, and you all have a shared investment. And like, and you're like, yeah, but so, you know. I was young and I was a yes, young, I was in my thirties.

• 43:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's a baby boy.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Baby boy.

• 43:40Stavros Halkias?

  Young guy getting cut out of Step Brothers.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Cut out of a few things.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  I was sitting there having a meeting with this high-powered lawyer and he was telling me all the clients he has where I was like, those are big names, brother. And I was like, I'm at the table with the guy who reps that fucking guy. And I was like, cool. And then he was asking me all the questions and human behavior tells me like, now I have to ask questions. So I went like, why'd you become a lawyer?

• 44:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  And he like gave me a smile, like, here we go. And I knew he had answered before. And he said, because being a professional pussy sniffer isn't a job. And he laughed, but I'm telling you, man.

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  In the moment, it hit me differently than he intended it.

• 44:21Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Because I took it seriously. And I thought his goal would be to be a professional pussy sniffer. He didn't say to be a professional pussy sniffer of women I choose.

• 44:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 44:34Speaker 02

  From a modeling line.

• 44:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right. No, no.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  I had just lived in New York City.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a diagnostic tool, maybe.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  But you, but that, all I literally thought was July fifteenth, New York City. You're on a subway that's packed. You're on the seven, coming from Queens. And it's one of those trains where you're like, everybody's coming to or coming from work.

• 44:55Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Nobody's happy.

• 44:58Stavros Halkias?

  I got lost on that exact train, packed as hell. It smelled.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  And not a game day.

• 45:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  So game day, you're just like, this is just regular. And you're like, if you miss one stop, you gotta come out into the air. You're like, everything's crazy. You're like a pack of sardines, but they're not sardine. It's, it's in a sardines pack, but just mixed fish.

• 45:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  And you're like, it should, it should be the same in the same oil.

• 45:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  And I thought of him walking around to the women there going like this, please take off your sweatpants. And the woman's going, ma.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  This is my job.

• 45:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  And going.

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Moroccan.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  And I go, this is what his dream job was. And I have him representing my contracts.

• 45:40Stavros Halkias?

  You took it literally instead of being like, this guy's a fucking idiot.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Yes. Well, I, well, I was like, first of all, I'm not your guy. I'm not that kind of bro-y frat guy.

• 45:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  So people always think I am, but even back in the day, I'm like, don't love that.

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  I was like, that tone doesn't work for me. But I thought like, I was like, okay, so I did the like this. Awesome, dude. Oh, no way. You basically rape people. You're fine. I was raised by a single mom. That's awesome, bro. You're literally what I was raised to be afraid of and hate. Well, that's cool, man. You have a baseball cap on.

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude. You have a lot of power in a society. Huh? Nice. Nice. That's awesome. Guys like you kind of run everything, huh? That's fucking sick, dude.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Killing the dick. It's fucking nice, brother.

• 46:22Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that's fucking awesome how you see, how you view women, dude. This is the first time we've talked. You brought this up seventeen minutes into meeting.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Literally, we started talking. You said we should do something. I agree.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  You said, yo, you're from Chicago. You're a Cubs fan. I go, yeah. You made a comment that was scary about physically assaulting half our population.

• 46:43Stavros Halkias?

  Professional pussy sniffer.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:45Stavros Halkias?

  Also sniffing is like, that's.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Everything about it's terrible. If you said, you know, if he would have said this to me. Receiving hand jobs isn't a job you can do professionally. I'd go, fine. Cause guess what? Close your eyes.

• 46:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Or if he goes, receiving hand jobs from petite-ish hands.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Then I'd go, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't want to do it professionally.

• 47:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  You can do it once a day. But doing that professionally.

• 47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Semi-pro. I went semi-pro.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  I, I wanted to go pro, realized I'm not cut out for that.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  I just don't have the cock, I don't have the cock resilience for it.

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm, I'm allergic to a lot of lotions, it turns out.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  My dick's moody.

• 47:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I gotta get hard every time. I don't think so.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  I don't have it. And guess what? You're beautiful. You have a great hand. Bitch just got nothing to do with you. Me and my dick are moody.

• 47:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. That guy, I, I'm sure that guy's doing really well.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  He's rich as hell.

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  That guy's had, probably has the biggest house of all time.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Well, let me tell you about the day coming out July twenty fourth on Apple.

• 47:49Stavros Halkias?

  And so the dink is about a guy sniffing pussy.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  He's a professional pussy.

• 47:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's actually based on this guy?

• 47:55Speaker 02

  So the dink is about a professional pussy sniffer who loves AI and yells at his kids.

• 48:05Stavros Halkias?

  Sign me up.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  You know what the dink is? And it was by intention. And I'm really curious if you watch it. When you watch it.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  I will watch it for sure.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Send me a DM what you really think. I'm not sensitive about it.

• 48:15Stavros Halkias?

  I will, I will.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  And now that we've gotten to know each other, I'm truly not sensitive.

• 48:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I believe you.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  But I wanted to make a movie that, and Sean Clemens with a T, Clemens.

• 48:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he's fucking, I love that guy.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  He wrote, he's one of the funniest guys I've ever met.

• 48:27Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking funny. Yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  His joke writing is so funny.

• 48:31Stavros Halkias?

  I love doing their podcast.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  The Hollywood Hammer? Yes.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's so fun.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  So, but he, Hayes is such a killer. But Sean, as a dude, we did a animated show years ago. And I was like, this fucking guy's bits are so good.

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  And me and him are getting a meal. And he goes, this was pre-election. And he was like, what do you want to work on? And I go. Something that almost feels like yacht rock as music.

• 48:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  I want it funny. I want set pieces. I want to get to work and be like, this is the bit.

• 49:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  I want a very clean structure. I don't want anything to be teaching. I don't want anything to be pointed or anything like, here's another idiot with a strong point of view.

• 49:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  I was like, we all have such strong points of view. I don't, I want it to just be a fucking ninety minute movie that's fun.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  With really funny people.

• 49:17Stavros Halkias?

  It's great.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  And he goes, what do you know about pickleball? And I go, nothing. And he goes, what's your opinion on it? And I go, I couldn't have an opinion.

• 49:25Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  And he goes, he goes, cause I got a movie about it that Ben Stiller is producing. And he gave me the pitch and I was like, I don't know. And then there's a whole second half of it. That I was like, well, that's really funny.

• 49:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  And then he started pitching some jokes and I was like, let's fucking do that.

• 49:41Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  So that's the movie we made.

• 49:44Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  I really love it. It's really fun. I'm so curious. It's, no reviews have come out and now whatever the data is.

• 49:51Stavros Halkias?

  It is, uh.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Actually, this is still early. Nevermind. It comes out July twenty fourth. I'm like, I just realized last night, because I haven't given it any thought.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  And I was like, oh, are they hiding? Are we going to get murdered?

• 50:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, that is very scary. But I mean.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  I don't, even if we do, I've seen the movie. It's so good.

• 50:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  That I'm like, I don't care. It's a great movie.

• 50:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, everyone you're talking about involved in it is really funny. I think.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Josh Greenbaum directed it. Killer.

• 50:15Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome. Yeah. I, I think the, I think the, and I think it's also a very funny time for pickleball. It's kind of the perfect time. Cause I almost feel like even six months earlier, people were taking it too seriously.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 50:27Stavros Halkias?

  And now it's kind of in the sweet spot where it's like, look, this was, I mean, dude, people, people were pretending there was going to be pro pickleball leagues. It's like, it ain't, no one's fucking get. Cracking open a brewsky at fucking one PM.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  And watching.

• 50:40Stavros Halkias?

  And watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is fun to play.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  So what it is, and I think you nailed it, uh, is it's not watchable.

• 50:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  In terms, it's so playable.

• 50:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Right, right, right, right.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  And what Josh Greenbaum did in this movie, so the whole.

• 50:55Stavros Halkias?

  Watching regular people have sex. You know what I mean?

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Look, that's pretty successful.

• 51:00Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I mean versus porn stars.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  It's called amateur. I don't know if you know this.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. You, you think that's still amateur, huh? You think that hasn't been taken over, dude?

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Yes, I do.

• 51:12Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. You look up amateur right now. Lot of, we got a lot of.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Professional.

• 51:16Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of pros in there sneaking in. And this is some, and I say that as somebody who, you know, after lesbian Japanese.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:23Stavros Halkias?

  Massage pornography amateur is a big one for me.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 51:26Stavros Halkias?

  I don't like, I, I just see a little bit of the studio system bleed in.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  By the, I don't think you're wrong, but what I will say, what I love about as a culture, we've gotten into porn talk. By saying amateur, you're saying you're a man of the people. Exactly. Dude, that guy like that's like.

• 51:40Stavros Halkias?

  Salt of the earth.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  That's something where we expect women to go like, he is a good guy.

• 51:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  The porno, I look, and let me tell you that kind of pornography.

• 51:47Stavros Halkias?

  Let me tell you what I beat off, let me tell you, when I objectify women, I look at regular ones.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  And if you, if you think about 20 years ago, if you were like, I look at Playboy, people would be like, ew.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, don't tell me that.

• 51:58Speaker 02

  The kind of disgusting pornography, I look at my phone while masturbating in an alley. I'm not like these scuz balls. I prefer.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  By the way. Masturbating.

• 52:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough, dude.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  What are you, it's crazy to think about. The fact that humans masturbate and we know it and take shits and wipe our butts and then just act like everything is normal.

• 52:20Stavros Halkias?

  Have to keep going.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  It's disgusting, man.

• 52:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  It's a disgusting species.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  I've had a lot of run ins with huge dumps recently as well.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 52:29Stavros Halkias?

  And it is not good. I sure was just shitting for one straight hour.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Ew. All right, I got a gross shitting story. I did a.

• 52:38Stavros Halkias?

  Lay it on us and then we'll head over to the Stavie's World hotline presented by Visible to answer some questions.

• 52:44Speaker 00

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• 53:15Speaker 03

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• 53:45Speaker 02

  I, uh, I got a call years ago to do a table read for a network pilot that I was not going to be in.

• 53:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  But these two women wrote it and it was their presentation to the network.

• 53:58Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  But I was already on NUGRA, I think I'd done CESA one. So I think it was me, I think it was Pratt, it was like somebody, it was like they just filled with people who weren't going to be in it.

• 54:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right. But we're eventually going to become hardcore Christians, like you and Pratt.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Whatever my religion of robots is. I'm so anti-religious.

• 54:16Stavros Halkias?

  Mecca Christ. You're gonna be, you're gonna be fucking worshipping Mecca Christ.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  What's even.

• 54:21Stavros Halkias?

  Christzilla.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  What's even sadder about me with religion was my dad was half Jew, my dad was Jewish, my mother was Christian or Catholic. Raised with neither. My kids asked the other day, what's the difference with Christian and Catholic?

• 54:35Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  And I went like, well, you know, and then they're going, I have no idea. We never went down this road.

• 54:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  And I don't know what these religions even believe in. I was like, I pretend to, but I'm like, if you never go to the services.

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  And you were never raised with any religion, you go like, well, no, no, I understand. It's very different. There's a lot of intricacies. There's, and then I go, I have. Religion is as far to me as Harry Potter, which I've never seen. I go, I know that show is about like little kid wizards. Outside of like, what'd they do in Diodorf? I'm like, I don't know. So when you even said like Greek Orthodox, to me, you're saying there was a building and.

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just, that's all it is. It's like Greek Orthodox is like, we're talking, we're talking like stained glass. It's just a classical, classical church.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  So the characters from The Deer Hunter were Greek Orthodox. You ever see that movie?

• 55:30Stavros Halkias?

  I have, but I haven't seen it since I was.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  It's there, where they are, it's like.

• 55:34Stavros Halkias?

  Catholic churches also have stained glass, so maybe.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Beautiful, old world songs.

• 55:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I have to re-watch that. I watched that when I was a fucking kid and being like, I'm, I'm into movies now.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, me too.

• 55:45Stavros Halkias?

  When I was 18, didn't get it at all. You know, I'm just like, oh, it's just waiting for the scene where they play Russian roulette. That's all. Because I'd seen the Family Guy parody of it.

• 55:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like, not, like, not even the Simpsons parody, which almost feels like higher art.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  But not, not even feels like.

• 56:03Stavros Halkias?

  It is higher art. Yeah. I mean, so many of the mu, like, I didn't know what Cape Fear, I definitely saw the, I definitely saw Sideshow Bob, Cape Fear, before I saw any version of Cape Fear.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  That's a, that's our generation difference. That's so funny. Cause I remember seeing, I remember seeing De Niro in Cape Fear and being like, that's probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

• 56:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was awesome. I, that movie's so fucking good.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  You see the new one on Apple?

• 56:26Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't, I haven't. Um, I'm a little, it's, it's one of those things where I'm like, everyone involved is awesome and I'm scared to watch it.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  Because the, it's just, not even the original, but, because the Scorsese one is so good. And it's like, how could you be scarier than that?

• 56:42Speaker 02

  You can't.

• 56:43Stavros Halkias?

  And, and we're talking about fucking Anton, the guy who played Anton Chigurh, and I'm like, I still don't know if you can be scarier than De Niro was.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Did in that one was showed you, because I mean, this is what he used to be able to do, what real psychos are like.

• 56:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  And when you come across a real psycho in a moment in your life, you're like, you are so scary to my soul, my bones.

• 57:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  Then other actors are scary in movies, but the scary actors in movies always do the like, ha, ha, ha. Real psychos don't laugh.

• 57:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's too operatic, absolutely. A real psycho is so.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  And they scare you before they talk.

• 57:18Stavros Halkias?

  And there's no logic to them either. You can't figure them out. You're not gonna beat them. Yes, absolutely.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  It's like seeing a raccoon when you're going to the garbage and that coon is mad at you.

• 57:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  And you go like.

• 57:29Stavros Halkias?

  Rabid raccoon.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  You go like, what the?

• 57:33Speaker 02

  Your logic, you're a little bear with razor hands. I hate you.

• 57:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely, dude.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  I hate your ass.

• 57:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I have, so I've not seen that one, but maybe I'll re-watch the fucking De Niro one. So listen, don't, on Apple TV, check out Slow Horses and then on a different network, check out the Scorsese and De Niro Cape Fear.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  And then don't forget the Dink and Maximum Pleasure. If you want to see those other shit.

• 58:00Stavros Halkias?

  In that order, in that order. Slow Horses one.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  Do it.

• 58:02Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, Cape Fear, Scorsese, De Niro, and then.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Well, Stavie, let's be honest, in this era, just hit play and go in the other room. We're not even selling any more go to the movie theater.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  And by the way, here's what I'm also not selling. I'm not asking you to get Apple.

• 58:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  If you don't have it, they're not expecting you from Dink. Dink was a smaller budget.

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  They're not going, you know what's gonna happen with Dink? People are gonna get a new streamer.

• 58:29Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  If you have it, hit play.

• 58:32Stavros Halkias?

  Hit play.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  If you don't like it.

• 58:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Walk in the other room, you fucking asshole. How hard is that? I'm trying to feed my family.

• 58:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's trying to feed the family to ignore it so he can talk to Claude.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  And then go to Maximum Pleasure again, then, you know what? If you want to be nice, go to the area you can rent and rent my old movie, you fucking piece of shit.

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  There we go, there we go, there we go.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  You snakes.

• 58:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, take that, you fucking animals. Now let's, why don't we solve some of these people's problems with, uh, the Visible hotline, Eldis. 904-800-Stav. What do we got here, little buddy?

• 59:05Speaker 04

  What's going on, Stavie and Eldis and, uh.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Not playing dickhead.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  Um.

• 59:15Speaker 04

  What's going on, Stavie and Eldis and, uh.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  Um, and speaking guest, uh, I got a little bit of a predicament on my head. Uh, my girlfriend, and I've been dating for about a year and I've known her, she's had this friend who can really only describe as a dumb bitch.

• 59:39Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I think you could describe her somehow else.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  She was going through a little breakup and luckily miscarried this piece of shit.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Uncle.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Baby.

• 59:50Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, man.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  And then about like three weeks later, she got pregnant again with another piece of shit.

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  All right, man.

• 59:58Speaker 04

  It was like some influencer bro who says he's trying to help guys return from the military, but really he's just a piece of shit. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.

• 1:00:09Stavros Halkias?

  He's an influencer helping people return from the milit, return from the military.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  Is that what he said?

• 1:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, all right, you're giving, there's a little too many judgment, uh, judgments here. You're, you're not being very objective. But let's, let's hear him out, I guess.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  From the military, but really, he's just a piece of shit. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And, uh, he's about like five feet tall too, which is hilarious. But anyway, uh. So they've been on the rocks the last like few weeks after the baby's been born because this dude who doesn't work, he just has a full on full business. This dude just goes out and works in the fucking woods. Uh, leaving his daughter and.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  Baby mama at home just kind of like deal with shit themselves. Um, she's been like crying all the fucking time. I just keep hearing about it. And my girlfriend at one point offered, if you have to leave, you can stay with us. And.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  This guy can't? Oh, the baby mama?

• 1:01:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the girl, yeah.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  You can stay with us and if she's getting abused, that obviously A okay with me. I want to get her out of the situation.

• 1:01:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:01:35Speaker 04

  But I think she's just kind of being a dumb bitch.

• 1:01:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  He's a dipshit and I'm gonna have to fucking deal with this dumb shit.

• 1:01:42Stavros Halkias?

  I really don't like your attitude, man.

• 1:01:44Speaker 04

  I don't want to fucking do that. Uh, so I guess, how do I talk to my girlfriend about saying that her friend isn't welcome at her house unless she's getting abused?

• 1:01:57Stavros Halkias?

  Unless she's getting abused. What do you want her to do? Show you a fucking black eye?

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  This is a hard one, Stav.

• 1:02:02Stavros Halkias?

  This is fucking crazy.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  That's a crazy one.

• 1:02:05Stavros Halkias?

  Is there any more to it, Elvis?

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  I really don't want them in our house.

• 1:02:10Stavros Halkias?

  Them? Who?

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  So I just.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  The baby and her.

• 1:02:13Speaker 04

  Let her know what you think and uh, any help you could give me would be fucking great.

• 1:02:19Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I do have some thoughts here. Okay, obviously this is like a fucking mess, right? No question about it. Your attitude is not helping things. The caller's attitude.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Guaranteed.

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  You're being kind of a dickhead about all of this. And I'm not even saying it's not. Obviously, this is fucking annoying. This is dropped on your lap, right? But even if someone was awesome and they were going through this situation, it's not like you'd be happy about it. It's, it sounds like to me, the thing you're the most annoyed at is that this will just, this may, you know, you might have to deal with the fallout from a friend of your girlfriend's having a uh, bad living situation and potentially abusive. And it's funny when you, you draw the line at, well, if she's getting abused, it's like, what do you think's going on, right? You think it's, what's happening is good right now? Like, where do you draw the line?

• 1:03:14Stavros Halkias?

  What are we talking about here? Uh, if she, if this woman is like destitute, if a pregnant woman with a two week old is destitute, even if she's annoying, you won't put her up for a week while she figures her shit out? I, I think like.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  I'm with you on this, Stav.

• 1:03:30Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like this sucks, obviously, but you are being a little selfish here. Cause the person who, yeah, this person is like, it, it, and only, you need to look at it through your, this is your girlfriend, right? Like, this is an extension of your girlfriend. So it's her friend and you're doing your girlfriend a favor. Don't think about it as like, uh, you know. I mean, even if you saw it as like one.

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also for how long, like?

• 1:03:57Stavros Halkias?

  I think, well, that's the thing. You have to have a very specific.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  So there.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  No one here is telling you, you have to care for.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  And for another.

• 1:04:04Stavros Halkias?

  A newborn.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  A newborn and then this guy is gonna be coming around and you're like now the stepdad and now the dad hates you. You're like, this isn't your world, brother.

• 1:04:12Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not saying, absolutely. I'm not saying this guy is on the hook long term. But I'm just saying like.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  As a transitionary, Pat, let her in.

• 1:04:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think yes, if possi, you, you have to talk to your, I do feel like you haven't had much communicating with your girlfriend about this. You're sort of, you see yourself as like, and maybe some of your frustration is that you don't feel like you've been uh, heard here where your girl's like, whatever you need, stay for five years, I don't care. You know what I mean? Like, so it's possible. So you might feel a little resentment because you don't feel uh, uh, you know, like a party to this. And if your girlfriend is offering your home indefinitely to someone, that's an issue, even if they're in a horrible situation. But I think, I think the way to look at it is you gotta communicate here.

• 1:05:00Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta talk to your girl and be like, hey, this is fucking, you know, what's going on with whatever? Your, your girl is crazy. Um, do, do you think we're gonna have to like, like, let's talk about what we can do? What we're comfortable doing, what we're, what's, what we're able to do? Yes, but you have to have a set deadline. Now, this is hard though, right? Because once you let someone in and if they're not figuring their shit out, do you then kick them out? So I, I understand your, I understand all of your, where you're coming from. I just think you need to also be just a little less, just don't be so judgmental about all this thing. Don't be such a fucking asshole. It's like, she's, and he's five foot, by the way. It's like, okay. Why are you roasting all these people? And, and what is even going on here?

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  So here's what I feel in the podcast I do, we're here to help, that we apparently stole from you.

• 1:05:49Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Really interesting idea where people call in and you solve their problems.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  But, but where I'd look.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  Which was launched after Gareth did my podcast. That's pretty interesting.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Well, when he pitched it to me, I'll tell you, I hadn't met you yet. I didn't know who you were. The first time I did your show, I go, it is a similar.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  I hear what he's saying.

• 1:06:13Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, we don't own the format.

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  But here, here's what's.

• 1:06:16Stavros Halkias?

  We stole it from Love Line.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  Here's what's different and here's what I'll say makes this hard, which I would love to be able to do. And you could steal this back from us?

• 1:06:24Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  I just have too many questions for this guy to go. I'm like, this was so, so many things.

• 1:06:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  That I'm like, the way he talks about the influencer guy.

• 1:06:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what even is that?

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  But by the way, I also hate that guy. The guy who's like.

• 1:06:37Stavros Halkias?

  I don't like him.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  When you get back from the military, do this, but you're making it up. That's the boyfriend, he might be abusive. I got 10 minutes of questions.

• 1:06:44Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  If she's being abused by that dude, I get it. You're a good guy, you're fucking pissed off, bring her in. If this guy comes by, you gotta stop him. He's five feet tall, you can't.

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  Right? Now, he went to the military, so he's probably a little tough. But five feet tall is five feet tall.

• 1:06:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, did he even go to the, we don't even, you don't even know.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  It's like, I have too many questions right now.

• 1:07:02Stavros Halkias?

  This one has a lot of questions.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go a hundred percent to you and go, your attitude's weird, also in the thing we're reading, there's no punctuation. And it sounds like how he's talking. I don't think this was a computer mistake.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  I'm like, break up the thoughts a little bit where he would go like, he's five foot tall and fuck it, man. I had a Euro yesterday and I'll say, fuck your ass. And I hate that you're like.

• 1:07:22Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. This is so emo, he's so emotional right now. He's so, you're in it.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  He's Russell Westbrook right now. He's in his feelings.

• 1:07:29Stavros Halkias?

  You're just, you're going full force and I get that you're pissed. I guess that is the only thing we can tell you right now, cause you are in a fucked up situation. We're not gonna say you're not.

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Smoke a joint, relax.

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  Just chill and also try and figure out what your feelings are. Who are you mad at?

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:44Stavros Halkias?

  Are you mad at the boy, the girlfriend, the boyfriend, your girl?

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Or are you mad at your living situation? And you're really mad at, you're with the wrong lady.

• 1:07:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  Because you're a guy who obviously isn't that open to others, which is fine. But you know, there's some people who are like, my house, mi casa es su casa.

• 1:08:03Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  And there's other people who you go like, even when you're friends with them, you go in their front room and they're like, ready to go?

• 1:08:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  You're like, I've never seen the back of your house. Like, I can see you're, I'm not gonna fucking do weird shit.

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  You might just be in the wrong life right now, brother.

• 1:08:20Stavros Halkias?

  People are not hospitable.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  He's so mad at this little five footer.

• 1:08:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  That it's like, who are you really mad at?

• 1:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  What he's mad at is that, he's mad at a first girlfriend's annoying friend.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:08:33Stavros Halkias?

  Except this time it's not just, oh, she got drunk and threw up.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  Now it's on him.

• 1:08:38Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's like, she's got a baby that I might have to feed.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  But he's also mad, he's happy about our miscarriages. Where you're like, that's a different level of mad. I can be like, that one friend of my wife, I didn't really like that much.

• 1:08:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  To be like, I was really happy when she got hit by that car and here, like, that's another level of mad.

• 1:08:57Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  So you're like, you hate.

• 1:09:00Stavros Halkias?

  I even see what he's saying where he says, but it's just like, you don't want to put luckily miscarried together.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 1:09:06Stavros Halkias?

  You just, even though I do get the sentiment behind it.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  But by the way, I, I, I agree with the sentiment with certain people. You go, I'm happy that didn't have, honestly, for the kid.

• 1:09:16Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent, for everyone involved.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  For everybody involved, you guys, it would not have been right.

• 1:09:21Stavros Halkias?

  Been good.

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  But there's a way to say it. You gotta like pause, take a breath. So I would love to ask him, who are you mad at, brother?

• 1:09:30Stavros Halkias?

  Who are you mad at?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Cause you're mad at somebody.

• 1:09:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  And it also might be yourself.

• 1:09:34Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit himself for letting himself get into the situation.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  You might be in the wrong life, man. You might be looking around and really the solution is to go like this, to turn to your beautiful girlfriend, hopefully you don't have kids and go, I'm done.

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  Good luck.

• 1:09:47Speaker 02

  I'm, you guess what? She's moving here.

• 1:09:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  The kid's moving here, little five footer influencer is gonna be barking on this door. Peace.

• 1:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  Salute.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  And go. He did say they've been together for a year or two, so that's a big milestone in itself and it's like. This, this might be a little more than I bargained for, for a year. A year. Into a relationship. You're dating somebody for a year and she's moving her friends in with kids. That's too fast.

• 1:10:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane. That's a great point.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  You're in the, essentially the honeymoon period still of how do we live together?

• 1:10:22Stavros Halkias?

  And that might be what this anger is. It's like, what? I'm already here?

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  I'm just in the year two of you.

• 1:10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  I'm still, it takes the first three to seven to go like, do I really like you and do you like me?

• 1:10:36Stavros Halkias?

  Three to seven.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Let alone these others. If you're talking about spending a life with somebody, that's a three to seven year decision. That's why so many people break up and they call it like the seven year itch.

• 1:10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, seven year itches.

• 1:10:48Speaker 02

  Cause you literally go through periods where you're like, I love her more and she's the best person. And then something else happens and you go, we're at year five, you go like eh.

• 1:10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  And then when you get to seven, you've seen the whole thing and you go, let's do another seven.

• 1:10:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'm either in or I'm, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  I'm either, if you're out now.

• 1:11:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Speaker 02

  You had a nervous breakdown.

• 1:11:04Stavros Halkias?

  Should it be a contract? I've, I've seen.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  Every seven years you redo it, yes.

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  Renew.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  I, I would like to do that. As I get deeper into AI, I don't want her to have that decision.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  I don't want, the truth is at a certain point, I want the power of that. And at a certain point, I do, I'm in the point in my life where I go, now that we have kids and once I saw the marriage story that they moved, I would lose in court so fast.

• 1:11:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  I was like.

• 1:11:28Stavros Halkias?

  But you would be, it is kind of your destiny to be divorced, but I hope you don't do it.

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  By the way, agreed.

• 1:11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but it is, everything about you screams a guy that should be divorced.

• 1:11:39Speaker 02

  That is not only not offensive, stop it, thank you for seeing me.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  You gotta be the kind of people where we're not afraid, but I, I am destined to be not only divorced, have a soft pack of cigarettes here, lose all my money and then go, you don't think I like living in this apartment in Burbank?

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  You're doing like, you're doing like the fucking direct to DVD action movies. You're the like, now you're.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  I know what it would be close. I'm not in shape. I'm gonna be the dad on a kid's show, like a Nickelodeon. If it used to be the Nickelodeon, it would be like some kid who's like, my name's Veronica. You know, and then like the brother's kinda hot, but 14 and the mom would be like, these two. And I just come in and like a work uniform.

• 1:12:24Stavros Halkias?

  So fat.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  So fat, yeah.

• 1:12:25Stavros Halkias?

  So fat.

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  But no, but it's that, the worst kind of fat. I still am close enough to not be in fat, that you're like, he, you can't even do the jokes.

• 1:12:35Stavros Halkias?

  Here.

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  And it's here.

• 1:12:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's there and there.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  And it's the muffin. And so that you go like, when the character bends down, you're like.

• 1:12:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's actually better if it's face, if it's not face. That's even funnier. Cause it's always, it's weird when someone has a fat face, but a stripped body.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  You're right.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  But the opposite for an actor is so funny. Cause they're like.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  Your close ups, you look good.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Barely just get, I'm just doing a job.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  This works.

• 1:12:57Stavros Halkias?

  This.

• 1:12:59Speaker 02

  You go, my full shot of me and the wife walking in from vacation, I'm a pair.

• 1:13:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  But divorce in that.

• 1:13:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  So my destiny is if I can fight that, I made a good deal with the spirits in this world and I'm doing okay. Cause you are dead, right?

• 1:13:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  And I've talked to my wife about it. Even when I had kids, I'm like, I can't believe I'm not just leaving.

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  I can't believe.

• 1:13:23Stavros Halkias?

  I love my kids.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  I can't believe I'm raising you guys.

• 1:13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Keep doing the AI. That's probably, that's probably what's keeping you in that life, you know what I mean? Cause what the AI is for you is living the world where you are divorced.

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  That's exactly right.

• 1:13:38Stavros Halkias?

  Where you have no one but the robot. So it's like, that's your day. You get one AI conversation a day to stay married. I'll give you that. You're, you get, you get like the Pope's, uh, like a special dispensation.

• 1:13:51Stavros Halkias?

  But the second you get divorced, you gotta let it go.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  If I, if I, if my wife's ever leaves me.

• 1:13:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  I'm making a promise to you right now, no AI.

• 1:13:58Stavros Halkias?

  Good, good, good.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  That's a lie.

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Actually, yeah.

• 1:14:00Speaker 02

  So much AI.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it's gonna get so much worse.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, it's gonna get dark.

• 1:14:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's so, you know, I think maybe we answered your question.

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

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• 1:14:38Speaker 03

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• 1:15:09Stavros Halkias?

  Who fucking knows? Next question, Eldis. Uh oh, what the fuck? Holy shit. Oh my God. Jake, can you believe it? It's time to, it's time to fucking keep it twisted.

• 1:15:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's the motherfucking ass fucked up question of the week, brought to you by the little fuckers at Twisted Tea.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  This is next level, man. This is, yeah, next level.

• 1:15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  Twisted Tea has its own music for your ass?

• 1:15:43Stavros Halkias?

  We, we created this.

• 1:15:46Stavros Halkias?

  We're, we're keeping it.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  And guess what? Just like the premise of the show, we stealing this. That's me and Garrett, durn, durn, durn, durn. And then it's like.

• 1:15:56Speaker 02

  But it's ours. Keep it twisted, not like Stavi.

• 1:16:00Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted, just different enough.

• 1:16:04Stavros Halkias?

  What's the motherfucking ass fucked up question of the week, Eldis?

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  Okay, Stavi. So basically here it is. I'm a transgender girl. I'm 32 years old. I'm fucking two guys. I end up finding out that they're brothers and they're brothers that fucking hate each other. And for a while now, I've been keeping the secret because.

• 1:16:24Stavros Halkias?

  Shakespeare.

• 1:16:28Stavros Halkias?

  This is beautiful. Holy fuck.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Totally right.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're in a love triangle with two brothers that are each other's rivals? This is awesome. All right, Eldis.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  And they're brothers that fucking hate each other.

• 1:16:39Stavros Halkias?

  Twisted question.

• 1:16:40Speaker 04

  And for a while now, I've been keeping the secret because, I don't know, I think it's been kinda like funny to like fuck both of the brothers separately and not tell them. But one of the brothers said that he wanted to try and settle down with me and be in a relationship. I end up telling him that I'm fucking his other brother. He acts like it doesn't matter until he comes and sees me. And after he knows, he starts freaking out about me fucking his brother. And saying that he wants to like kill his brother and fuck him up and like, basically I find out they're completely estranged, don't talk anymore. And I'm afraid that he's gonna tell the other brother. But get this, every time I fuck brother one, literally days later, brother two always finds his way over to me.

• 1:17:23Speaker 04

  So I'm fucking these brothers back to back. Do I need to tell the second brother that I'm having sex with both of them? Or should I just let it be and let them find out on their own? Thanks, Stavi.

• 1:17:34Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted. Honestly, you might be keeping a little too fucking twisted right now. You might be keeping it all, you're keeping it way too twisted. You gotta keep it a little, cause here's the thing, much like a twisted tea, which is 5% alcohol by volume.

• 1:17:48Speaker 02

  You're a pro.

• 1:17:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's the, it's actually the perfect beverage where you keep it just twisted enough.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Then why aren't you drinking it?

• 1:17:54Stavros Halkias?

  You don't wanna, keep it. If you can't get it down.

• 1:18:01Speaker 02

  Keeping that shit twisted.

• 1:18:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's honestly so fucking good. I fucking love Twisted Tea for real.

• 1:18:09Stavros Halkias?

  So you're keeping, so for example, like we said, beautiful 5%.

• 1:18:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:14Stavros Halkias?

  This isn't, if this is a, some kind of crazy 20% by volume beverage where you're getting too twisted, you're sort of getting a little too twisted right now. I think, I think there's really no way.

• 1:18:29Stavros Halkias?

  Completely estranged brothers who's, who have a cosmic connection through hooking up with you and that they are, they are connected somehow. Because once one nut, three days later, the other one does. What are their birth charts? I think you, first of all, you might have some kind of magic to you. There might be some, you might have some type of powers. And, and perhaps, you know, are your families connected in an ancient way? You know, or is there some kind of?

• 1:18:59Speaker 02

  He making it twisted, I see.

• 1:19:02Speaker 02

  You told her, keep it twisted. Now you're talking about witchcraft?

• 1:19:07Stavros Halkias?

  Are you, are you some kind of talisman in their, for their family, you know?

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  Talking.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  I think.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  Could sex with you bring them together?

• 1:19:17Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, yeah. You get eyeful powered by some brother?

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  You know what I would actually pitch?

• 1:19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hit me with it.

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  Invite them both over on the same night for a three-way. And here's why. These are fucked up brothers. It's a weird situation.

• 1:19:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  They can't get over it. One weird threesome. It's either gonna go very sideways.

• 1:19:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Which is gonna go that way anyhow.

• 1:19:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:19:42Speaker 02

  Or something's going to happen while they're making direct eye contact with each other.

• 1:19:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:19:49Speaker 02

  Where they're gonna be like, you're my brother.

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  I, that, there, that would be, if you wanna get direct to the heart of it, that's how you gotta go. But I'm really worried about, I think you kinda have to, what kind of estrangement is this?

• 1:20:07Speaker 02

  Violent.

• 1:20:08Stavros Halkias?

  What, yeah, it seems pretty violent. What's up with them? It is interesting that they both, they both have completely similar tastes. That's very fascinating.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  I think in a way what you're saying Jake is like. Already happening on some level. It's Their hate for each other is fueling them to go to her. And it could be up each other. But you could be through her. You could be connected through her, like one guy, he fucks one brother, she fucks one brother, and then all of a sudden, three days later, the next guy calls. Right.

• 1:20:38Stavros Halkias?

  There's something there.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  Just stop beating around the bush and say, not only do you have to tell him, but say, maybe we do like a one of you fucks me, the other one watches. And the like, you guys, whatever is going on.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  So you're

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  I'm going to your witchcraft stuff.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  You're saying, let's turn into how twisted it is.

• 1:20:56Speaker 02

  And let's lean in so that you guys can lean out.

• 1:20:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:20:59Speaker 02

  But let's have a night that's the weirdest night any of us have ever dealt with. And the end of it, it's 6:00 AM when we are all done.

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Completely dehydrated.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  Look at each other and go like, I'm sorry. We had a fucked up childhood. This is really dad's fault. He always toned us against each other, man. But I don't hate you. I hated how you treated me.

• 1:21:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  But you treated me that way because he treated you that way. And then go, we both love this lady.

• 1:21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  Let's just fucking

• 1:21:29Stavros Halkias?

  Start a family.

• 1:21:33Speaker 02

  Let's, let's start an 80's sitcom. Just the three of us.

• 1:21:37Stavros Halkias?

  This is so, that is so, yes, like when you skate into the ice, you're supposed to turn into it.

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:21:42Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe that's your, this is the turn into it solution. Now, if you want to be a coward, we, I have to give you the less twisted advice. And say, I think this is so powerful. Whatever's going on here, I would just be like, this is like, if you, if you find a million dollars in an alleyway.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, oh, fuck, that's so, but it's like, someone's gonna find it, you know, it's like

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twilight Zone.

• 1:22:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's more, it's more, whatever happens there, someone's looking for it.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  Something You're entering a crazy world.

• 1:22:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're entering this relationship that is very, like, it's fully estranged brothers.

• 1:22:19Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 1:22:20Stavros Halkias?

  That happened to be fucking the same girl at the same time. There is something so fucked up and cosmic and powerful about that.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  You know what I would test going off of this?

• 1:22:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:30Speaker 02

  Find somebody you know in your life who's got a brother they're not talking to. Fuck him, then contact the brother somehow and see if he tries to fuck you.

• 1:22:39Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, maybe.

• 1:22:39Speaker 02

  Cause you might have the giant.

• 1:22:41Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe she's

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  To bring

• 1:22:42Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, yeah, X-Men. This is like, oh, she's a really shitty X-Men. Wherever, once you fuck one brother, three days later, another one appears and tries to fuck you.

• 1:22:52Speaker 02

  I was, he's like, yo, I was just in Guam.

• 1:22:56Speaker 02

  I don't know why I'm in Philly. And then he goes, can I buy you a beer? And you just go in the bar, you, you look at the camera and go like, you can.

• 1:23:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  Because you might have the kind of giant that's bringing

• 1:23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  Families together.

• 1:23:11Stavros Halkias?

  We don't know where she's at in her transition.

• 1:23:13Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:23:14Stavros Halkias?

  What if they have a new type of vagina?

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  That is magic. You're totally right.

• 1:23:20Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe she's got some kind of like first gen magical.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 1:23:25Stavros Halkias?

  You know, reconstructed pussy that does attract, through the genes attracts brothers together.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  And if so, that is such a valuable thing to have in life. That I would then dedicate your life to doing this.

• 1:23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Well, here's what you could do with it. Let's say some guy's brother's a prisoner of war.

• 1:23:44Speaker 02

  I was just missing, I was just thinking of missing. Or

• 1:23:48Speaker 02

  because

• 1:23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Some guy from Vietnam.

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  Comes out of the woods.

• 1:23:52Stavros Halkias?

  70 year old, an 80 year old who went native.

• 1:23:54Speaker 02

  Yes. By the way, and he just comes out and it's like he can smell you. There's a knock on your door and you're like this, he's like, he goes to fuck you, you go, I think you're looking for Ronald.

• 1:24:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:06Speaker 02

  And he's there. What a superpower.

• 1:24:09Stavros Halkias?

  So, okay, check that, fuck a different guy and see if his brother fucks you three days later, just to do your scientific research.

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  You know what you could also do?

• 1:24:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:18Speaker 02

  You, this is sperm donors or anything like that? If you're, or you were adopted and you never met your original family.

• 1:24:26Stavros Halkias?

  Your family, yeah.

• 1:24:27Speaker 02

  Just anybody who was, and like, I, I never met my birth parents.

• 1:24:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:24:33Speaker 02

  So fuck this woman and see if some random guy goes by. Then you're just, you fuck.

• 1:24:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're right.

• 1:24:40Speaker 02

  The worst case scenario, fuck.

• 1:24:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you got a nut off.

• 1:24:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you go like this, and then try it with women, be like, we scissored. And then see if sisters come, see if brothers come, but you could reunite families.

• 1:24:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. We don't even know if it's just his brothers.

• 1:24:53Speaker 02

  Try everything.

• 1:24:54Stavros Halkias?

  Try everything. So, so scientifically try that and then I, if I were you, if I'm, if I was this woman for real, I would just be like, I had my fun.

• 1:25:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:05Stavros Halkias?

  I want no parts of this. I think I would wash my hands of this. I think this is like, it seems like there's some kind of, how did she even figure this out?

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:16Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I guess they're similar last names, but I, I mean, I guess same last names, but it's just like, or maybe they look alike. I don't, it's just so, this is another one where I have so many questions. Where'd you meet them? How did they, whatever? And I think I would just enjoy, I would just get these guys off the roster. And if I, if I really wanted to settle down with one of, if the one that wanted to settle down, then I would just probably pick that one and just stay estranged.

• 1:25:42Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 1:25:43Stavros Halkias?

  You know, if they're so estranged, but at the end of the day though, you're kind of letting this bubble, this is just too, I would not want to deal with. All I'm saying is I wouldn't want to deal with this, because the other thing is the very, there's a very, there's a very twisted ending to this. There is a, there is a murder sui ending to this, you know what I mean? Like, who knows what the fuck's going on here?

• 1:26:07Speaker 02

  Be safe on this one, it could get bad.

• 1:26:10Stavros Halkias?

  What kind of estrangement, like, and then also, you know, so I don't know, I just

• 1:26:14Speaker 02

  Be careful.

• 1:26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Warring, I'm thinking, I don't know what kind of brothers these are, but I'm thinking like old world estranged brothers who would fucking chop each other up with machetes. Because one took more olive groves than their grandfather allowed them in his will. So I would just have enjoyed the brotherly cock and I would move on, but I would do the, the experiments we discussed. Because they do seem very rich and you owe it to the world to know.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  And if so, you're one in a billion.

• 1:26:43Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Well, that ought to do it for this week's fucking motherfucked up question of the week, brought to you by Squish the T.

• 1:26:55Stavros Halkias?

  And remember folks, always, always.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:27:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great beverage.

• 1:27:07Stavros Halkias?

  What else you got for us, little LD?

• 1:27:15Speaker 06

  Hey, Stav, Eldis, blessed guest. So I'm, I'm a dad of a four year old and my son's been going to the same preschool for a couple of years. We really like the school, but honestly, a couple of the cooler families left when we got into, when they got into like the public preschool. We have like a lottery system here, so you get in, you save so much money, but we, we haven't yet, but a couple of the other families have. But, you know, we moved to where we live now from New York a few years back and so, you know, it's been really nice to have some parent friends. The problem is that our son, his taste in friends doesn't always match the parents that we like.

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:27:58Speaker 06

  His best buddy recently is one of these kids, uh, his parents, you know, we live in the South, so a lot of the kids are Christian, but his parents seem to be pretty evangelical. Um, I mean, the kid himself, I mean, he's four, he's fine, he seems like a sweet kid, but, um, and like, obviously been hanging out, it's whatever, it's fine, but this month is when a lot of kids are having birthday parties and it's like every cricket weekend, we're going to a birthday party. But anyway, like our favorite parent friends who left the school last year, they're having their birthday party at the same time on the same day as my son's like best buddy of the month. And

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:28:40Speaker 06

  I mean, it is awkward enough that like, he's old enough to have an opinion about where he would want to go and like what kids he'd want to hang out with, but it seems to change with like the weather, who his best buddies are.

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's setting the groundwork

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  To go against his child's wishes so that he can fucking

• 1:28:57Speaker 02

  Yes, come on.

• 1:28:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fuckatia with a guy he likes.

• 1:29:00Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  Instead of fucking potato salad with an evangelical family.

• 1:29:04Speaker 02

  I, yeah.

• 1:29:06Speaker 06

  Like, and on top of that, he doesn't seem to like know what's happening every weekend, but

• 1:29:10Stavros Halkias?

  Come on.

• 1:29:11Speaker 06

  You know, I just, I don't think he would realize until after that we missed one of these parties, but I also feel like I would be a pretty big asshole if I was like

• 1:29:19Speaker 02

  This is black and white.

• 1:29:20Stavros Halkias?

  You have no case.

• 1:29:21Speaker 06

  The party of the kid that we like more, not the one that you like more.

• 1:29:24Speaker 02

  This is insane.

• 1:29:25Speaker 06

  And also four, so it feels weird to make him decide.

• 1:29:28Speaker 02

  Crazy.

• 1:29:29Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  Twist, do the twisted song. This is twisted. This is more twisted than the other one. The other one is just a lady who's like, I fucked like brothers. This is like My kid's friends are actually my friends and No.

• 1:29:43Stavros Halkias?

  You know, yeah, what are you talking about, dude? His best friend or a kid he doesn't go to school with anymore, but you like his parents more?

• 1:29:50Speaker 02

  Stop it. This is the big issue I have with this era of parenting. It's not everybody who's just different than when I was growing up.

• 1:29:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:56Speaker 02

  The parents think they're part of it. They do, like, they'll be like, oh, well, it's so much better when we get to do this. I'm like, motherfuckers, when I was growing up, you got on a bike, my mom would have no idea.

• 1:30:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:30:09Speaker 02

  I'd be like, I was friends with these three dudes. And then it would be like, you'd go to the parent's house and they'd be like, who are you?

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  On sitcoms, they used to do like the parent would go like

• 1:30:17Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  You're mine, you're mine. I've never seen you.

• 1:30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:20Speaker 02

  And then everyone gets fed.

• 1:30:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  Nowadays, it's like, well, let's curate it and then we'll take family vacations with those we like and the kids will make it work. Wrong.

• 1:30:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's absolutely wrong.

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  100% you go to the party and then guess what? Soon they're going to be drop off parties.

• 1:30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:38Speaker 02

  Make other friends, make

• 1:30:39Stavros Halkias?

  You can hang out with those people when you want. You drop them off and you hang out with the dad you're actually friends with.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  Wants to hang with you, reach out.

• 1:30:47Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. You can be friends with a guy and your kid can be friends with a kid.

• 1:30:51Speaker 02

  But you can't, if the only time that you're being invited is for a kid's party, you ain't friends.

• 1:30:59Speaker 02

  You're not friends with him.

• 1:31:01Stavros Halkias?

  Good point, that's a good point.

• 1:31:02Speaker 02

  They're going like this, I would love to hang out with Carl, yeah, invited my son.

• 1:31:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:07Speaker 02

  Listen to what you're saying.

• 1:31:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Yeah, dude, you're, even him, even him being like, well, you know, he said, he probably wouldn't even realize it until it's like, get, are you fucking kidding? A four year old wouldn't realize he's hanging out with his best, he's hanging out with his best friend?

• 1:31:22Speaker 02

  Contact the guy, say, we're going to this other party, let's hang out. And you know what he'll say? No.

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:31:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:31:31Speaker 02

  Or he'll say yes, but uh dude, this one is black and white.

• 1:31:37Stavros Halkias?

  So clear.

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  Do not do this.

• 1:31:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, should a kid, oh, should your son get to decide what beer you drink?

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:42Stavros Halkias?

  Because he likes the bottle more. It's like, no, man, he's got a fucking friend. You should be his dad.

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:31:48Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, yes, exactly. Try and hang out with the guy. And that is very funny. I would love to know if the guy does want to hang out with you outside of.

• 1:31:54Speaker 02

  Follow up.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  Let us know if the guy rejected you or refused, because probably what he'd do is string you along.

• 1:32:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:00Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, this is interesting. And thank you for bringing the parents. Uh.

• 1:32:04Speaker 02

  Yes, that was clear. Stavi, I gotta go.

• 1:32:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, of course. No, no.

• 1:32:07Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 1:32:08Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. No, we were wrapping up anyway. So, uh, that is gonna do it for us, gang. Uh, go watch the dink.

• 1:32:15Speaker 02

  Thanks, man.

• 1:32:16Stavros Halkias?

  I can't wait to see it. Go watch. I mean, you're fucking, you got a lot of shit.

• 1:32:20Speaker 02

  And I can't wait for the special, man.

• 1:32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks.

• 1:32:21Speaker 02

  Where are you doing it?

• 1:32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Netflix. Uh.

• 1:32:23Speaker 02

  And you're recording here now in New York?

• 1:32:25Stavros Halkias?

  We're doing it in Baltimore. It's gonna come out. It's gonna come out on Netflix.

• 1:32:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:32:28Stavros Halkias?

  In the fall. I think we're gonna announce the, oh, the date pretty soon. We're, I think we got it locked in.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:32:34Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, I'm very excited. We're about to record it. Please, Lord, don't let me break any more bones or have any fucking catastrophes happen to me. But, you know, uh, hopefully it'll be, it'll be good. I can't wait. I've worked on it pretty hard, honestly. But yeah, go see our boy Jake in, in a, in a myriad of things he's got going on. And, uh, check out Slow Horses.

• 1:33:00Stavros Halkias?

  Bye, guys.

• 1:33:13Speaker 02

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