Pod Insights Stavvy's World Bonus #158 - Live Call Show Vol. 35 [PATREON PREVIEW] About this episode Stav is back talking directly to the fans! Stavvy and Eldy recap highlights from a one-week minivan run of the Dreamboat Tour, and help beautiful Patreon members live on air including a woman whose mom blew on the speech she gave at her wedding, a guy who’s concerned that the dude who knocked up his friend might be a spy, and a guy who wants tips on how to prank his brother next time he picks him up at the airport.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Speaker 00 This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness,
0:45 Speaker 00 pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.
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1:31 Speaker 02 Last time I picked my brother up from the airport, I pranked him by putting a sign on the passenger side door of my car that said "National Association of Men with Micropenises."
1:40 Stavros Halkias? That's a good one. Respect.
1:43 Speaker 02 I know, I know, I know. But I'm picking him up from the airport again next week, and I want to get him again, but I want to top it. And I'm thinking, I'm thinking, instead of just putting a sign on my car, I'm thinking that I'll dress up like a charter. You know, like when you get off a plane, there's those chauffeurs in suits and caps holding up a sign for the person's name?
2:00 Stavros Halkias? Yes.
2:02 Speaker 02 So I'm thinking I want to do something like that, but put something embarrassing on the sign. And I don't know what to put on the sign. So I want your guy, I want the, the ancient Greek god of wisdom and his Albanian gimp to help me figure out here.
2:16 Speaker 04 Well, this is good because the car thing is funny. The only problem with it is that you don't see it until it's outside. And by the time people go outside with their luggage, they're not even really paying attention. They don't give a shit. So yes, I think you're right that something inside the airport is the next logical step to embarrass him. Now, having said that though, you're dressed up in a costume. You're holding a sign that says, Mr. Little Nuts, for example.
2:49 Speaker 04 You're the one who looks stupid.
2:52 Speaker 02 You're right. No, look, truly. Well, that was the thing with the other sign, like I'm in the car. I look stupid too. That's how, I mean, me and my brother have that relationship. If I'm going to make fun of him, I want to be part of the joke too. Otherwise it just feels, otherwise it's no fun, you know?
3:05 Speaker 04 Right, right, right. Huh.
3:08 Speaker 02 So I don't mind. I truly don't mind if the joke kind of burns me a little bit. It's just part of the fun.
3:13 Speaker 04 Right. Well, cause the thing is you could have something embarrassing.
3:20 Speaker 04 But your brother, and so you'd just be waiting there.
3:23 Speaker 02 Exactly.
3:24 Speaker 04 Here's, okay, here's a gut instinct.
3:28 Speaker 04 A sign is a good thing. I feel like to really embarrass him, it's gotta be a really big sign. So you need to get something custom printed that like.
3:38 Speaker 02 Like poster board?
3:39 Speaker 04 Yeah. Go to FedEx and get like, uh, you know, four foot by six foot kind of sign or something, for example. Something, and you know, for a sign, yes, Mr. Little Nuts, something classic like that would be pretty good. Is there an embarrassing photo of him? Is there?
3:57 Speaker 02 Oh God, there's so many embarrassing photos. See, okay.
4:01 Speaker 04 Is there a collage?
4:02 Speaker 02 I wanted to also be, but here's the thing, like I said, I want it to be a joke that also kind of may, if, if possible, I want it to be a joke that kind of makes me look stupid too. And if it's just an embarrassing photo of him, that might be a little bit too, too mean. You know what I mean? And also cabin little nuts is a great idea. I want to make it, I want to be creative if I can and figure out something that's not to do with his penis size. Cause I did that already with the last one.
4:25 Speaker 04 Sure.
4:27 Speaker 02 That's why I wanted to bring this to my favorite comedian.
4:29 Stavros Halkias? You could, okay, this is interesting. Thank you. I appreciate that. I think what also could work though is something a little more, a sign.
4:39 Stavros Halkias? Is there something where you can sort of ambush him a little bit where it's like, congratulations, you just won biggest cuck at the airport. And there's like, somebody comes out with a, with a camera on you and you, uh, and you interview him and you're like, sir, how do you feel about, you know, congratulations.
4:57 Speaker 02 That would be awesome.
4:58 Stavros Halkias? Something like, but what did, what, you don't want to say littlest dick. Uh, cuck is a good one. Um, gay, you know, to do something public, it's not that funny to be like, you just won gayest guy at the airport. Yeah. You know, it just becomes a hate crime.
5:13 Speaker 02 By the way, real quick, real quick side story, a year ago, he and I were getting like pictures taken, just the two of us. Uh, like my mom set it up and a woman was watching the photographer and he, she was like, you know, looking like, oh, that's really cute. And then she heard the photographer say something about us. She goes, wait, they're brothers? I thought they were gonna get married.
5:32 Stavros Halkias? Oh. Pretending you're proposing to him is pretty funny.
5:38 Speaker 02 Oh my God, that's it. All right. That's it.
5:40 Stavros Halkias? Pretending you're proposing to him and like having someone with a camera and trying to kiss him. Try to kiss him on the lips and he's like pulling away. That's actually not.
5:51 Speaker 02 He's gonna fucking love that. He's gonna love that because a year ago, so neither of us actually are gay, but a year ago I went to, uh, I went to visit him and he was like, for his birthday and I bought him dinner and he was like, for my birthday present, can we pretend to be gay? And at one point he like pretended to go in for a kiss. And I was like, that's a little bit, that was a little too far for me.
6:08 Stavros Halkias? Yeah.
6:09 Speaker 02 I think this time I might be able to make it work.
6:12 Stavros Halkias? Or if you don't want to make it a gay angle, you could have a busted woman. You could hire someone to pretend to be his wife.
6:19 Speaker 02 Okay, that, that might be a little.
6:21 Stavros Halkias? Or someone, because the other thing is, it is funny to, I've liked be going to like, going out with like a female friend of mine and, and like, uh, just look, I look like shit. I don't care, right? They're like my friend. I don't care. And they're like a hot woman and like, acting like I'm just a shitty boyfriend is actually a really fun joke to me where it's like, uh, I'm like, shut up bitch. And I'm like some guy in like basketball shorts and it's like a beautiful woman. So you could gender swap it, but, but I do think it is pretending, pretending to, propose to him is pretty good.
6:59 Speaker 02 My friend Danny, driving the car that I'm, uh, she and I are on a date, so.
7:03 Stavros Halkias? Sorry, I can't, you're breaking up a little bit.
7:05 Speaker 02 Go ahead, Sammy.
7:06 Stavros Halkias? You're breaking, you're breaking up, buddy.
7:08 Speaker 02 The, uh, the person who's, oh, can you hear me now?
7:12 Stavros Halkias? Yes.
7:13 Speaker 02 Hello?
7:13 Stavros Halkias? Yeah.
7:15 Speaker 02 Sorry, I'm in a, I'm in a car being driven by a very beautiful lovely woman I'm on a date with. So it's hilarious to hear this particular context.
7:25 Stavros Halkias? That's really funny, uh, to be doing this on a date.
7:30 Speaker 04 Someone's not getting pussy.
7:35 Speaker 04 The date's not going too good.
7:38 Stavros Halkias? She's, uh, she actually changed the GPS. She put my address back in. She's about to drop me off.
7:47 Stavros Halkias? We keep getting closer to my house and further from the movie theater.
7:51 Speaker 02 And I'm very lucky that the call didn't, the call didn't happen until the date's almost over. So I'm literally on my way, uh, on my way home now. So we had a very lovely time.
7:59 Stavros Halkias? Wonderful.
8:00 Speaker 02 And I was, uh, constantly kind of tapping my phone screen to keep the screen on Discord open. Anyway.
8:05 Stavros Halkias? You don't deserve to be on a date with a beautiful woman.
8:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:08 Stavros Halkias? If you were doing that, you really, you don't deserve that.
8:12 Speaker 04 Look, man, let's not worry about this date. This date won't end well, but to get back to.
8:17 Stavros Halkias? Certainly the relationship won't, if even if this one date does, but, uh, let's get back to the important thing. Embarrassing your brother in public by pretending you're gay with him.
8:30 Stavros Halkias? I think, I think-
8:31 Speaker 02 True, hard hitting, quick.
8:32 Stavros Halkias? I think some kind of like proposal, or if you want to do another thing, you could pretend to serve him, like, it's like, here are your divorce papers or something like, or pretend to arrest, although you can't really impersonate a police officer, I guess, but-
8:49 Speaker 04 The proposal's good because on the outside, it's a positive thing. I'm just thinking if I'm walking through the airport and like, a guy dressed in a Barney costume or something is holding up a picture of like, a guy's, his brother's dick from when he was a baby or whatever it is. I would like be kind of scared. I'd be like, what is about to go down in this airport?
9:08 Stavros Halkias? Like, will you, if you had like friends kind of hiding, and then they turn around with a big sign that says, will you marry me, Dan, or whatever?
9:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:16 Stavros Halkias? And then you get on one knee, that's pretty fucking funny.
9:20 Speaker 04 So that's, so I think that is a good one. I also think like a paid actor to like, just get him on the hook and think, think something's happening to him where you're, he doesn't even see you yet, could be funny. An example is like, you know, a fake publisher's clearinghouse check or some bullshit, like he won the sweepstake, but-
9:41 Stavros Halkias? Yeah.
9:42 Speaker 04 But, you know. I don't know. The proposal's pretty good, honestly. I think you got something with that.
9:48 Stavros Halkias? Yeah, proposal's pretty good.
9:50 Speaker 02 I think I do too. I gotta-
9:51 Stavros Halkias? Cause everything else that I'm thinking about is kind of like-
9:53 Speaker 04 The proposal's good because before you could be like, ah, excuse me, I'm gonna propose to my boyfriend when he gets like, you could like really get people involved in it, you know what I mean? And, and that would like getting-
10:04 Speaker 02 Oh my god, that is so great.
10:05 Speaker 04 Getting people in the vicinity invested in it will make it all the much better and, uh, yeah.
10:12 Stavros Halkias? If you were his sister-
10:14 Speaker 02 You're so right.
10:14 Stavros Halkias? If you were his sister, like, surprising him with like a sign that says, I'm pregnant, would be really funny too, like-
10:23 Speaker 02 Or what about I get your girlfriend pregnant?
10:26 Stavros Halkias? Yeah, no, it would have to be a girl. You'd have to, you need, yeah, you, you'd need something that immediately like reads.
10:35 Stavros Halkias? But yeah, this isn't so bad. This isn't so bad.
10:38 Speaker 02 A lot to work with. Can I, can I ask you also unrelated, but very quick question? Why is George's nickname Smoothie? I've always wondered.
10:46 Stavros Halkias? Uh, my brother? I don't, you know, it's just one of those, you know how nicknames work sometimes, man? You just get a nickname when you're like 13 or I don't even remember when it was. He's had a lot of nicknames, but that's one that, that's, that stood the test of time. He's a man of many epithets. Yeah.
11:04 Speaker 02 Yes, indeed. He's a, he's a Greek, uh, you know, the like palace Athena or swift footed Achilles, you know?
11:09 Stavros Halkias? Exactly, exactly. He's got a lot of them.
11:13 Speaker 02 Nope. All right. Well, you guys give me a lot to work with. I hope this doesn't, this is actually one of the few times where I hope this, I hope this doesn't come out soon because I think he might listen, I think he actually listens to the show sometimes. So I really hope he doesn't hear this.
11:25 Stavros Halkias? Uh, it won't come out for a while. When is, when are you picking him up?
11:31 Speaker 02 On the 27th, on Thanksgiving Day.
11:34 Stavros Halkias? Oh, yeah, this, this will come out, I think, right after that or close after that. So.
11:38 Speaker 02 Oh, sweet. Hell, yeah.
11:39 Stavros Halkias? It's perfect. All right, man.
11:41 Speaker 02 Well, you guys give me a lot to, and truly guy and truly Stavi, you are my favorite comedian, but then I listen to your podcast all the time. You're an awesome interviewer. I saw you in Chicago. You're amazing, dude. I can't wait to see where you go from here because you got amazing things in store, my friend.
11:54 Stavros Halkias? Appreciate you, bro. Good luck.
11:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:56 Stavros Halkias? And, uh, don't blow it. Have a good one, man.
11:59 Speaker 04 Good luck, Jack Rabbit.
12:00 Speaker 02 You too, guys. Bye.
12:02 Speaker 04 He's gonna like ask this girl on the date, like try to drag her into this prank. He's like, why don't pretend you're pregnant? Wouldn't that be so funny?
12:08 Stavros Halkias? How down bad is this woman, huh? She's like, yeah, yeah, just you can take the discord call.
12:15 Speaker 04 He's been waiting for like two hours.
12:18 Stavros Halkias? In her head, she's like, you said you wouldn't text your ex-boyfriend. We have to move on. Just go on the date with this guy. It's fine.
12:25 Speaker 04 She should call in for advice.
12:27 Stavros Halkias? Our next call is her as soon as she drops him off. Uh, a guy just tried to give me the limpist, uh, attempted a kiss I've ever seen in my life.
12:37 Speaker 04 He kept talking about a prank for a couple of hours.
12:39 Stavros Halkias? About, yeah, sucking his brother's dick at the airport or something. Anyway.
12:54 Speaker 00 This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your health care provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain,
13:39 Speaker 00 or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC, or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.
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