#158 - Beck Bennett

Beck Bennett joins the pod to discuss his and Kyle Mooney’s new podcast WHAT’S OUR PODCAST?, discovering Sock Em Boppers at a formative age, doing a shady Nickelodeon audition when he was a kid, raising kids in LA, and much more. Beck and Stav help callers including a guy whose wife is stirring up some family estate drama with his half siblings after his dad passed away, and a guy who doesn’t want to circumcise his son but who is getting steamrolled on the issue by his wife. Check out Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney’s podcast WHAT’S OUR PODCAST?: https://www.youtube.com/@whatsourpodcast Follow Beck Bennett on social media: https://www.instagram.com/beckbennett Thank you to our sponsors! Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/stavvy use code STAVVY Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-Stavi. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We have Beck Bennett here on the couch. A powerful dude, the double Bs.

• 1:13Speaker 03

  The double Bs.

• 1:14Stavros Halkias?

  Beck Bennett with a B.

• 1:15Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:16Stavros Halkias?

  They pop out.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  The alliteration.

• 1:18Stavros Halkias?

  Beck Bennett.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  Beck Bennett. It's my middle name, too, Beck.

• 1:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 1:21Speaker 03

  It's my mom's maiden name. First name, Christopher.

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, dogshit.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  That's a dogshit name.

• 1:25Stavros Halkias?

  Chris Bennett?

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Forgettable, man.

• 1:29Stavros Halkias?

  Chris Bennett sucks dick, dude.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were like, that's actually what my mom said. I was like, one years old, she's like, "Chris Bennett sucks dick." There's no way you see that.

• 1:37Stavros Halkias?

  She's whispering to you?

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Fucking lights and a big fucking movie. We go, "Beck Bennett."

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  Beck Bennett.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, she fixed it.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, mother's maiden name, that's a power move. That's a feminist move.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, it really is. My son has my wife's maiden name.

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, Hodges.

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  Hodges, that's a good one, too.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  Hodges is a cool name. It feels very last name.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  But it's a fun, fun option.

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  But it's not like, there's a couple of those... There's like Parker, like Hodges does, isn't quite dickhead, cause last name can be, you're a dickhead.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:08Stavros Halkias?

  Back two doesn't sound like a dickhead last name.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  It does. It kinda sounds like a first name.

• 2:12Stavros Halkias?

  It does.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  I mean, it's my first name.

• 2:13Stavros Halkias?

  You're in there, yeah.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  My middle name.

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It's your show business. As far as show business is concerned, it's your name.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  You know? But yeah, like, cause last names can def- it feels a little prep school-y.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  But I think you guys are good. Hodges, it feels almost like a working class.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's kinda, that's kinda where it came from.

• 2:31Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. Yeah, yeah.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, good working class family from Detroit.

• 2:34Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. Well, are you scared though? Cause like, giving a kid a last name, first name, you are in the danger zone of, of raising like a prep school kid.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Are you also now, this is always my worry when like you start off a regular person and you get to be on like SNL and movies and shit.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:52Stavros Halkias?

  Are you scared of having like a dickhead child who's like rich or whatever?

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Oh, because, because I.

• 2:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Yeah, 1,000%. Oh, of course. Yeah, in LA.

• 3:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh man.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  We like moved, I mean, we like northeast LA.

• 3:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  But like as far away as possible from like, and we like really don't wanna do private schools.

• 3:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Cause I mean, the thing about like, I mean, there are some private schools that are fine, but like there are certain private schools in LA where it's like, the parents have so much money and they're famous.

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough combo.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  What does that do to the, I don't know. I mean like.

• 3:26Stavros Halkias?

  And even if your kid, you do your best to like have your kid be normal. It's like, oh, um, he's going to school with a James Cameron's son.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Or like.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  That's gonna suck. He's gonna go over to James Cameron's house.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna paint him blue.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Come home and be like, this place sucks.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Why don't we have three movie theaters?

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Why don't we have like.

• 3:45Stavros Halkias?

  Why don't we have a Pandora jungle gym in our house?

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Why don't we have the Titanic under the pool so we can swim through it?

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  This sucks.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  This fucking sucks, yeah.

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  Why can't we jack off to Rose's tits? He's got a big picture of it. And we don't even have a big picture of anyone's tits.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Feel free.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  It's just like, you can do anything there. You're supposed to be restricted as a child. Those kids have no restrictions. They're just jacking off all over the place.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever movies their father directed with tits in it, they get to jack off the stills of them.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  They're losing their minds. I saw George Clooney recently. He was like, yeah, we want our kids. They're raising their kids away from Hollywood.

• 4:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, good.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  He's like, we're raising a lot of-

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't realize he had kids.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think he's got two.

• 4:25Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  With, uh, Amal.

• 4:27Stavros Halkias?

  Amal. That's a big one. That's a cool... You gotta check, you gotta tip your cap to Clooney for-

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  -ending up with Amal.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:35Stavros Halkias?

  Cause she's an actually cool, interesting person.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  You know, I mean, I don't know her.

• 4:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  I've never talked to her, but she seems like-

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  We go way back, dude. Me and Amal, we fucking-

• 4:44Speaker 03

  You and Amal?

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we talk about like UN shit and like, you know, laws and shit like that.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Next level, dude. I just love to get into it with her.

• 4:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. I would the fuck do I know she could be a piece of shit?

• 4:55Speaker 03

  But she seems rad. But from the surface, yeah. Never had, like, almost never having heard her speak or-

• 5:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  -contribute to anything. Like, I see her, her vibe is-

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and she, by the way, is hot as shit still.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  She's hot as shit, in a very classy way.

• 5:08Stavros Halkias?

  He picked like a smart diplomat lawyer, but she wasn't busted.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  She still looks like a-

• 5:14Speaker 03

  She was female Clooney, kind of.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  She kinda was, yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  She's got that dark sort of classic.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  But they're like raising their kids on a farm in France. And he's like, I just want a normal life for them. There's no way that life is normal.

• 5:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's too far the other way.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Too far the other way, man.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  That's too far. You turned the dial way too far.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  You gotta be careful, cause like, you're like, oh, I feel like with raising kids, I mean, I have no fucking clue. Nobody else-

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, how old's your kid?

• 5:35Speaker 03

  He's, he turns four in December.

• 5:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 03

  But like, you're like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna raise him with this.

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  And then they like, often end up being like, I fucking hate that.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  I just wanna go the opposite way.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? And then it's like- Well, like you want your kids to kind of like, yeah, like I get you like wanna have them have a certain life. But then it's also like you wanna let them do their own thing.

• 5:55Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Like I don't want like my kid to just be like, yeah dad, like I'm an actor like you and I'm into everything that you're into. And we're best friends. I mean, that would be, that'd be better than like, fuck you dad, I hate you.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  But like, I want, you know, you want them to do their own thing. You kind of wanna like, I feel like you wanna like keep it vague enough. You know, like.

• 6:12Stavros Halkias?

  Give them some options.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Give them some room, give them some breathing room.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  But you can't have them be like somewhere in a fa- like, is it, a farm in France is like, that's not the real world.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  That's not the real world.

• 6:22Stavros Halkias?

  You literally, they might as well be wearing 3D goggles and living in Pandora, as far as it, they might, they might as well think they're avatars.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're gonna like talk to real kids and they're gonna be like, not have any cultural references.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, totally.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't get this. And they're just gonna be not well equipped. And, and. George Clooney, Amal, you're blowing it, guys.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're blowing it, Clooney.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Get those kids in a big city. Get them an iPad.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  Let them watch Mr. Beast.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Did you say Mr. Beast? I thought you were just gonna say Mr. Bean. Let them watch Mr. Bean. Come on, they need to be with it. They need to be getting the cultural references.

• 6:56Stavros Halkias?

  They gotta watch, yeah, I mean, that is funny because I think about that too. Like my, my brother had a kid, my friend has got a, you know, kid and like I'm very much in the, it's like, you know, holiday season, you're going home and I'm like, oh, I wanna like show these kids. I want, they're gonna be cool kids. They're gonna not watch like dumb cartoons.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  They're not gonna watch Paw Patrol.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, they're gonna watch fucking, um, shit that I liked. Or they're gonna watch Peewees, you know, whatever.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  That's exactly what I said. Peewees are like.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  And no baby's gonna give a fuck about Peewee, unfortunately.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Absolutely not.

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  Their brain has been, is mushed by like comput- yeah, like computer generated bullshit and like.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  It's so, it's all computer generated. It's so fast and sleek and glossy and like fake. I'm like, oh, like wide eyed.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  You can't compete with that. You can't, Peewee can't compete with that.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  You try to like give them like good music and they're like, no, I just wanna, whatever.

• 7:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right. You don't wanna be, because that's the other thing. It's like, even if it takes, then they're the kid, like you remember a kid growing up who's like, everyone's listening to fucking, you know, whatever, Spice Girls or, and he's like, I like. Really Dan.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  And everyone's like, shut up, you fucking pussy.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  I had a little bit of that. Well, I was like very like.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  Where'd you grow up?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Conformist. That was the word that really was buzzy back then.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  I grew up in North suburbs of Chicago.

• 8:10Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, hell, yeah.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  And like, yeah, I remember being like, I like classic rock.

• 8:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  And just being clowned on by my friends.

• 8:16Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  And just like, I remember like, one of the dads dropping us off at a dance. We were like, yeah, Beck gets it. And I was like, yeah. And like, that's definitely stuck with me.

• 8:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's who you want to hang out with.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  If you, if you are interested in girls at all.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Just listen to some regular music.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  They'd be like, I like this music. But I was like, fuck that shit.

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  I like Phish, Ridespread Panic, because my brother was into it. And I was like, yeah, man, I'm not all about the man and like the fucking corporations. And so instead, I just listened to people just like plug away at their guitar for a half an hour.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Like a big field.

• 8:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. It's like the actual parties happening over here. People are doing drugs, looking, you know, maybe touching a titty or two.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:59Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, you're watching dueling Wonder Walls.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  At like a fire.

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're on the gem bay.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you're on the gem bay, on the jam. The guy who couldn't play the, the instruments but hanging out.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Absolutely, just kind of playing quietly.

• 9:14Stavros Halkias?

  Tough guy to be.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  But yeah, yeah, you gotta, you wanna, you wanna tap into the, a little bit of the culture.

• 9:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  With your peers.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  And it's also like inevitable, I think. Like, I just can't even imagine. Like, it's so funny to think this, like, you know, going home, visiting my family, seeing my little fat nephew. He's like, not even a year old. I'm like, what the fuck does the world gonna look like in 11 years?

• 9:39Speaker 03

  No idea.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck kind of weird shit is he gonna be into? Is his first girlfriend even gonna be a human?

• 9:45Speaker 03

  No, probably not. I just read that on, I was reading, I was scrolling on the way here in the cab. And I was like, oh, get this shit out of your head. You don't want this in your head before you go talk. But one of the things I saw was one out of five teenagers has had a relationship with AI. Or knows somebody who asked.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  Which, by the way, that's, that reporting's ridiculous because that means like, a horny fourteen year old was like, "Do you wanna suck my penis?" And the AI's like, "Yes, your penis is awesome." And he's like, "Nice. Do you have big tits?" "Yes, I have big tits. Please."

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  Spluge all over them. And they're like, that's a, he's just sexting a fucking robot, basically.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  I would definitely do that.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  I mean, that's definitely like, when you put it that way, that's above, that's a step above porn.

• 10:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  You know, pictures, videos.

• 10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, if they get some pictures in there. Because I think essentially, it's like, the way, again, in a world before computers, people fucked everything physically.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  Including like livestock, like couches, pillows. But like, people would put their dicks in pumpkins.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, American Pie, a classic.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Especially with American Pie, like, what can I eat up?

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I was too fat to, to desecrate a pie like that.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  But I thought about it. I really considered it, but I never did ultimately for fat reasons.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, for fat reasons.

• 11:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, man, I kinda wanna have this pie.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  I'm gonna, oh, damn it, every single time. Alright, this time, wow! I can't fuck a pie.

• 11:09Stavros Halkias?

  Unless I've, yeah, maybe, if only I'd come across like a subpar pie.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  I have a-

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  But it did seem like a good idea.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have a friend who, um, cut a hole in a watermelon, or no, a cantaloupe, and heated it up, put it in the microwave-

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Heated it up.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  For too long.

• 11:21Stavros Halkias?

  Too long!

• 11:22Speaker 03

  And it was like, burned his penis. Yeah. I, I, and I, I think, I'm like, oh, you know, no, you know what I did? This is, I'd pass this around at this point, for a while. I was like, "No, I didn't do that."

• 11:32Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, but now, yeah.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  But, and-

• 11:34Stavros Halkias?

  You're a father now.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  And I apologize if I tell this on every single podcast.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no, no, this is the kinda stuff. In terms of stuff you fuck, this is the podcast to tell it all.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  This is where I feel comfortable.

• 11:44Stavros Halkias?

  This will be, it'll be boosted the most.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Great.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  By this audience.

• 11:47Speaker 03

  This is where my, my story finally gets its credit.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  I, um, you know, sock and boppers?

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. If you- Sock and boppers, sock and boppers, fuck, was the end of that?

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Sock and boppers, sock and boppers, sock and boppers.

• 12:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  And fuck 'em too? That's the song that I heard. No, no.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  All that fish has melted your brain.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  More fun than a pillow fight.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Definitely.

• 12:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. That's enough, Elvis, thank you.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Gotcha.

• 12:19Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, fucking showing off for Beck. First time in your fucking life you've ever, you've ever produced in real time-

• 12:25Speaker 03

  You had them right there, man.

• 12:26Stavros Halkias?

  -without being begged to for fucking minutes. I'm always ready. I'm always on go.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  I love your voice. It's a little bit of, um, you know, have you gotten this before, uh, the room?

• 12:37Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit of.

• 12:38Speaker 04

  Some Tommy Wiseau.

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  A little Tommy Wiseau. Like a little relaxed. He has a specific rhythm to his speech.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  Our entire friend group loves to annihilate him for.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  I hate hearing my voice, but I feel like it is a fun voice to like mock and just.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Yes, it definitely is a fun voice to mock.

• 12:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's a good voice to mock.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Yes, it definitely is.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  But yeah, with the, uh, sock and boppers, I, you know, I had them for a while. It took me a little bit.

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  But then, you know, I don't know whether it was like in a movie or in some sort of magazine that my brother had.

• 13:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  But sex dolls.

• 13:15Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  They're, they're, they're, um, they're caverns. That's not a good word. They're holes.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, that looks exactly like the sock and bumper.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  And I got a little Vaseline and I went to town on those things.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  It was incredible. It's better than anything I could have created. And, and then, and then one day my brother has his friend, my younger brother.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  They got them in the like the closet and they're like, oh, sock and boppers. And his friend puts his hand and it's like. And they knew immediately.

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Like gak.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  I didn't, I didn't complete and suck.

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  But it was just the lubrication.

• 13:53Stavros Halkias?

  The Vaseline, the remnants.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, they like, they blushed and walked out of there pretty quickly. I don't think me and my brother talked about it for a couple of years. And I was like, you know that time? He's like, yeah, you fucked a sock and boppers?

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  To put them back in the area that they normally are after you fuck them.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's the diabolical part.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, here you go. Somebody play with these.

• 14:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  That's when I would jerk off.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Now I'm curious, cause I was never a big, uh, fuck stuff guy.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I mean, I did a pillow maybe early on when I really didn't get the hang of jacking off, you know?

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, are we, are you getting full strokes on the sock and bopper or are you using it more like a pocket pussy?

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Oh, well, see, I've never used a pocket pussy.

• 14:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, but it's more of a like you jack off with it?

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:36Stavros Halkias?

  Or are you like really rearing back and fucking the? Sock and bopper.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  I think it's more I jack off with.

• 14:41Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, cuz that'd be kinda fun if somebody like pinned down the sock and bopper.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  And really gave it full strokes and like, I have to practice for sex.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 14:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz that's the funny thing you do when you're like 12, you're like,

• 14:53Speaker 03

  I have to practice.

• 14:54Stavros Halkias?

  I'll be getting pussy any day now.

• 14:56Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 14:56Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta get my stroke right.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  You gotta get your stroke right, you gotta get your reps in.

• 15:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't wanna be embarrassed. I remember like the first time they gave us a condom, the very first time, I took one home, I was like, gonna need to practice jacking off with this cuz I'll be getting pussy any day now. It was maybe eight years.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  After that, that I even.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Came into contact with it for real?

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  And you were like, I have to jack off with it.

• 15:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  To see what it feels like?

• 15:24Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, to be like, cuz yeah, I don't wanna be embarrassed when I get pussy, not being able to get hard. My dick must, latex must be like a second skin to my penis.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  You don't wanna be thrown off by the latex.

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  It is, it is a little odd.

• 15:36Stavros Halkias?

  And again, no problem whatsoever.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  That's fantastic.

• 15:39Stavros Halkias?

  Was not, you know, by the time I, I actually did fuck literally eight years after that.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  I was good to go.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  That's fucking awesome.

• 15:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, man, thank you. It was really cool to finally get pussy well into college.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  And was that, so that's when you lost your virginity in college?

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 15:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  I think I was 17.

• 15:55Stavros Halkias?

  Nice dude, fucking bragging.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was before you. But I wasn't like, I didn't have casual sex until college. They took me a while.

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  I was like, you gotta love the person. If you don't, then it's fucked up. I was very like pure about it.

• 16:11Stavros Halkias?

  And, and, uh, and, uh, monogamy. It's not, sock and boppers, monogamy, loving the woman you have sex with.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  That was very cool.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's funny to be like into like, yeah, I anti-conformity, fuck the man, but like, he had some good ideas about relationships.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  Don't listen to that bullshit, but like, yeah, don't drink, don't smoke.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Save yourself for the Lord.

• 16:40Stavros Halkias?

  Did you grow up religious in the Chicago burbs?

• 16:43Speaker 03

  I grew up, I not, I mean, I grew up going to a church. The church was called the Holy Comforter.

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Sounds like a master story.

• 16:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is, the Holy Comforter is awesome.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was piscapalian, so which is like, very light, you know, like, very chill. How about you? Did you?

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  We were, I grew up Greek Orthodox, but Orthodox, again, people hear Orthodox and they think of like every other religion where that's insane.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  Greek people did not give a fuck. It was like...

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, what is that, what is the Orthodox level? Is it like another?

• 17:12Stavros Halkias?

  I would put it at like, it would be like if, think about all the pomp and circumstance of Catholicism, but with like, really not as much guilt or like,

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Oh, great.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  People not, you know, it's really, it's similar in that, like, they kind of split from the, that was the big split is like, the Catholic Church kind of comes from the Orthodox Church and they, I don't know what the fuck, they fought, they fought over, I mean, I know we have different, our communion is literally a little piece of bread and wine, and they give you a golden spoon and you go, uh-huh? And you have to fucking eat it after some old lady, like, that was a fucked up thing.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  They put it in the spoon.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I'd be like, I'd be like, as a little kid, you're like, that's fucking gross, what the fuck, mom? And she's like, God cleans it.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Oh my god, wow.

• 17:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and you just have to like, and then, but I remember distinctly having to go after like, an old ass lady with like,

• 18:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't know what's going on in that mouth.

• 18:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's a tough mouth to follow.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  So many mouths, right? It's like, somebody's got to have herpes.

• 18:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, probably, probably somebody has gotten hurt, like, oral herpes at a Greek Orthodox communion.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:12Stavros Halkias?

  But there's no way it hasn't happened, but...

• 18:14Speaker 03

  That's the Lord right there.

• 18:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so I guess Catholics were right, you want, a cracker is definitely the like,

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Those things are nasty.

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  Safer way to do it.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  And in our church, they, they had a fresh bread, broke off a little piece, and then poured some wine separately.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so you're closer to us.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, we're a little closer.

• 18:29Stavros Halkias?

  But it was literally like a golden spoon in his chalice, and he would like, kind of break off a little piece of bread. It was kind of fucking weird.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  Dip it around, be like, there you go.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get a nice piece.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  It's soggy, open.

• 18:39Stavros Halkias?

  I was an altar boy, so you got to eat the crusts.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  Nice, dude.

• 18:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Elders too. Russian Orthodox though.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  I was at a Russian Orthodox church.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  We didn't want him at the Greek Orthodox church.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  They sponsored my family, got us set up in Baltimore, so we kind of had a ride for them.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Did you drop it, or is your family still going to the, the Russian Orthodox?

• 18:58Speaker 04

  We moved when I was in fourth grade and just never went to church again.

• 19:03Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, I didn't realize that. You completely never went again. Wait, maybe you went back once or twice for like a new year's. Cause that's the classic orthodox shit. Maybe literally once or twice. It's Easter. It's not, it's not Christmas. We don't give a fuck about Christmas.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  I was in Greece. I studied abroad my junior year of college and then I went traveling and I went to Athens.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you were at this during Easter? I'm jealous, dude.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Everything was shut down. They were just roasting lamb in the streets. And it was like, and we went to a restaurant that day and I had the best lamb I've ever had. It was just unbelievable. All these people just, just roasting right in front of their businesses.

• 19:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  I, I remember this is, that's the cool part. The lame part is that I got the, what are the beads?

• 19:42Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, kamboloi.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Kamboloi. Cause they're everywhere. And I like, I was like flipping kamboloi around. I might come back, back to LA and I was like, check this out.

• 19:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Like a hacky sack.

• 19:54Stavros Halkias?

  It is, it is kinda like a cooler hacky sack though. I like a kamboloi. It does make me feel like I'm connected to my roots. It's just like these little fucking beads that an old Greek man plays with, basically.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Is it for counting prayers? Is it like prayer beads?

• 20:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's not rosary at all. It's pure, it's a fucking fidget spinner, really.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  It's a fidget spinner. Okay, so I feel better about that.

• 20:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's an old Greek guy fidget spinner.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  I wasn't sure if it was like the prayer bead type thing.

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  And again, I, like, I need to stress, Greek people do not really give a fuck about religion. Like, it's, it is the kinda thing.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  For religion.

• 20:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:23Speaker 03

  You care too much.

• 20:24Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  It becomes something different.

• 20:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's totally symbolic and there obviously, the church is kinda powerful and there was, you know, there were times where it was too powerful in Greece, but there was like, there were fas, there was like a fascist junta in the late 60s, early 70s that was very like military, you know, church. And I think ever since then, people are like, alright, the church gets to be symbolic, but you don't get any, you don't get to be in the affairs of our country anymore. Cause you tried to like, you know, subvert our democracy or whatever.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:53Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and now it's like. You know, you go to church on Easter. Everyone is Christian, even like my cousin who like truly like was in mourning for months when after Ozzy Osbourne died, like loves metal is just like a, you know, just hasn't really had a real job. He's like 40 years old and like is, but even he's like, yeah, he would identify as a Christian, but is he, you know what I mean? Like, uh, that's kind of the vibe, which I think is good because I think it's like, it's enough to kind of keep your society having some order, but it's not enough to, you know, everybody being fucking homophobic or, you know, you don't, you don't go really crazy.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Obviously those exist in Greece. And I'm not here to say they're enlightened. I've certainly overheard some, some interesting conversations.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  No way. Greece, come on. Not a chance. They're good.

• 21:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  They don't have sex. They're very like, very straight and narrow.

• 21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, didn't almost wreck their economy from, uh, embezzling and not showing up to work.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, my godfather.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  They bounced back a little bit, right?

• 22:01Stavros Halkias?

  I guess. I mean, it's fine. It's a little better now.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  It's a little better.

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's just chill. I mean, literally I had family members who just worked, they just had like regular people had no show jobs in Greece.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  What does that mean?

• 22:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like they're in the mafia where it's like you could just get a public, like my, like my, uh, godfather worked, he was a contractor and he had his own business and then he worked technically for like the department of like power or something. He was like a handyman for them and he just straight up would go in there, clock in and then go home and like he worked the overnight shifts and he would just clock in, go to sleep and then like go back in the morning and clock out.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  This is just like, kind of like a known thing. It's like, yeah, you kind of got a job. You kind of got a report.

• 22:44Stavros Halkias?

  It was like, yes.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  You know, if they need something, you're there.

• 22:47Stavros Halkias?

  Like he would get pissed. Like we would be out at dinner and his phone would ring. He'd be like, I gotta go to fucking work for like 25 minutes and he'd be pissed off, but that's just how the society ran for a while, which I think is awesome.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's kind of like, it's kind of like having, um, You know, I don't know, you know, people just get money.

• 23:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  That system.

• 23:07Stavros Halkias?

  That'd be nice.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Government.

• 23:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Everybody gets a little bit.

• 23:10Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit of peace.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  We get a job, we get to call on you when we need you.

• 23:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, but we're not gonna overdo it.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:15Stavros Halkias?

  You can still fucking, you know, and now it's like, he moved to like an island and he kinda went back to living like it's the eighteen hundreds, like, they have like a barter system, like he has honey.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Which island does he live on?

• 23:27Stavros Halkias?

  He's in, he's on Noxos.

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Okay, as if I would know, there are thousands, I've been, I've been a couple of times, but.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  If, i- it's like, it's the, it's the main, it's like the capital of the chain of islands that all the famous ones are in, like Santorini.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Further out.

• 23:40Stavros Halkias?

  Like, uh, Mykonos, all those islands, like, it's the big one at the center, it's a great island, you should go, it actually is a great one to visit, cause it's, it's huge, there's a lot of shit to do, but it's not super crazy with like tourists, cause they're all on the other ones, but, he just has like, he has honey, and he likes, and he has like rabbits that he like shoots on his property, and like him and his boys, truly like trade, he'll come home and be like, my boy left daddy, had some fucking, some fresh beans and moonshine, I traded him a rabbit for it, and like, we had, we had like rabbit stew and moonshine, when I was like twenty, I would go visit them, cause, it was a fun vacation, cause you didn't have, if you paid for the, uh, plane, you could just crash with your relatives.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 24:24Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but yeah, he's, it's very interesting.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Greece is like my favorite place to go.

• 24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, where'd you, when you studied abroad, where'd you study?

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Uh, I studied in London, and then I was just like, traveled from there, yeah, and I went to, that time I went to Athens and Santorini, and then I went back with some friends, and we took a, like a catamaran around the islands, like Hydra and sort of closer.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Closer to Athens, yeah, yeah, yeah, those are great islands too, though.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, it was beautiful, and like the food is just so good, like anybody can eat in Greece and not get sick.

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's the best.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  And not get diarrhea.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it's crazy.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  And it's just like, great.

• 24:59Stavros Halkias?

  And they're indulgent meals.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, they are, like, good, it's, it's so good, it's so fresh.

• 25:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking awesome.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's rad.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  How, so when you were, what was the like, study abroad, cause I remember being in college and being like, I'm gonna go abroad, and like, and I never did, and be like, and be like a fucking man of the world, and I'd never, I just like dropped out of college just to do fucking stand-up comedy, but.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  That's better, that's a better option.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  And I, and it probably was.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  Better for you.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  For me, yeah, it probably was, and honestly, I was probably gonna study abroad in Greece, and like, that's barely.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  And then just clock in at night.

• 25:31Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, that was the plan. I literally wanted to go to just watch soccer in during the season instead of, because we would always go during the preseason, basically.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  You're right.

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  Because we were there in August, but would you study, when you were, when you were out in London, what were you studying?

• 25:45Speaker 03

  I studied theater.

• 25:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you were doing some Shakespearean shit?

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we were doing Shakespeare.

• 25:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Which I like, I, I was in acting at USC. And then I did this, but I like, what I loved about USC is that they, you didn't need like a Shakespearean monologue. You didn't do a lot of that, but I wanted to study abroad.

• 26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  It was like a Shakespeare.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  You did like a, a monologue from Point Break to get in?

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:11Stavros Halkias?

  Pretty good, right?

• 26:14Stavros Halkias?

  I rewatched Point Break, man. Brody was just right about everything.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  He was?

• 26:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he really is.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  It's fucking good. Yeah, it's fucking incredible.

• 26:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's completely nihilistic. He's the fucking man.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  That is like, I feel like a lot of people know that movie and it's respected, but it's still not really at the level of respect that it deserves.

• 26:29Stavros Halkias?

  I fully agree. It's so fucking good.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but sorry, you're at USC?

• 26:34Speaker 03

  So I studied Shakespeare.

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  So at the time, you're like, you're, you're on theater kid mode.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I'm a fucking actor, actor.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Fucking actor, actor.

• 26:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, okay.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  I played Edmund in King Lear.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Really cool stuff.

• 26:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  We had a clowning class, which I really loved.

• 26:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  It was like mask work.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  My grandfather, fucking awesome.

• 26:54Stavros Halkias?

  So you have to act like, they would put a mask on you and you have to be like?

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you'd like, you'd like, look at the mask and it'd be like these, you know, sort of like the Commedia dell'Arte-ish, but like, sort of like,

• 27:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  You'd like, look at it and you would, it was just fun because you'd be like, you'd come up with a voice and a name right, right away.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Just go around and like, I don't even know, like this class would be sitting, it'd be like improvising.

• 27:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Saying that you, and just coming up with the craziest shit.

• 27:23Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  And it was really, really fun. It was like, it was the opposite of Shakespeare.

• 27:27Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh, my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply.

• 28:16Speaker 05

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain,

• 29:00Speaker 05

  or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  I do think clowning has gone too far recently. Yeah, well, I Clowning has become like, if improv is too strenuous for you, try clowning. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know somebody's fucking dog is barking.

• 29:30Stavros Halkias?

  Good job, Aldous. I was doing it earlier, but you just noticed. Right on, right on cue.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Don't worry, I've got the barking dog. Watching commercials from the 90s over here.

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He's been letting the sock and bopper YouTube video play and his headphones the fucking

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I'm doing producer.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  That is fun, though, when you're like, when you're twenty, like, that's the time to do dumb bullshit like that. Like clowning.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:56Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 29:56Speaker 03

  I mean, well, now with the clowning, I don't, like, I respect.

• 30:01Stavros Halkias?

  I don't. Let me, let me, let me.

• 30:04Stavros Halkias?

  Let me go on record that I do not.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, like, I just feel like, you know, the clowning, it's become popular again, like, at least in LA. Like, there are a lot.

• 30:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's gone crazy.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  And it's just like, you know, a lot of, it's like the bouffant style, you know?

• 30:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I don't know the.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  It's like the gross clowning, you know?

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Getting naked, kind of some blood, some like.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  And there are people who are good at that, don't get me wrong, but it's like everything else where it's like, I would say clowning is worse. I mean, stand-up's the same way, where it's like, three, like, you know, half of the percentage of people who do stand-up are good at it.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Improv the same way.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but clowning is even worse, where there might be like four people on earth that I'm interested in seeing clowning from, and everyone else is like, you want to be a more interesting guy at your office.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:50Stavros Halkias?

  Or what it is, is like, it's like, hot women have gotten into it to be like, I don't know, so, and then there's like a bunch, whenever like, hot women are into some kind of very low stakes creative pursuit,

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  guys that want to fuck them are gonna do it, and it's like, and it's just gonna be.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  And then you get all these awful people involved, and you're bringing a lot of people, that's really interesting.

• 31:10Stavros Halkias?

  Or you see like some old fat French clown, who's like, he got to fuck like some girl, because that's how it works, like,

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  some old guy gets pussy he doesn't deserve from some dumb bullshit.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  And then, and then if that's viewed at the right time,

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  that'll create an army of dumb, ugly motherfuckers that are trying to get pussy.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Oh, right, oh, yeah, this is real, I really like this thing.

• 31:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I mean, it's, yeah.

• 31:37Stavros Halkias?

  And don't get me wrong, everyone does everything to fuck.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:41Stavros Halkias?

  Ultimately, I really do believe like humanity can be boiled down to that.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's why I did stand-up.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  At least some, at least, yeah, I guess that, or at least some pleasure, right?

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  You do it to like, I feel like, people do it to then like, drink, or to like, smoke, or whatever.

• 31:56Stavros Halkias?

  But I think it all leads back to getting your nuts sucked, or your pussy licked, you know?

• 32:00Speaker 03

  It is, it is. Wait, what'd you say? You're not?

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  You're not sucked or your pussy licked?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  It is. I mean, you're single.

• 32:08Stavros Halkias?

  I am.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not. I'm married. It does, it does take a lot off the table. Like, that brought me back to like, you know, when you're single? Like, and you like somebody, but then it kind of falls apart, or you're like, friend?

• 32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Talking to them. It can really, that used to be, not a lot of dark nights, but like,

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  emotional, dramatic.

• 32:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, totally.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  So intense. And that's just like off the table for me now.

• 32:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's nice. I mean, I've gotten to the, this is a theme in my life, and we talked about on the pod where it's like, you can't live like a child forever, which is what I'm doing, you know?

• 32:43Speaker 03

  I try. I kind of try. I try to like, live enough as an adult so that I can be a child every now and then.

• 32:49Stavros Halkias?

  But that's, but I'm saying like, being in a relationship and having a kid and shit, it's like, you're doing plenty of adult stuff.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  So that you can be, you can do childlike shit in a nice wholesome way.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  What I'm talking about is like, the impulse that got you to fuck sock and boppers?

• 33:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:05Stavros Halkias?

  What if that ruled your life?

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Still ruling my life. Ah, man, I'd be in so much trouble.

• 33:10Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I would be, I would not, I don't know if I'd be sitting here.

• 33:15Stavros Halkias?

  Which is like, that's my, that's my issue. It's like, I love the idea of like, being in a nice, just having that off the table completely. I also love the idea of being older shit. Like, all just trying to fuck and like, being ruled by your base.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  You like having that off the table?

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to not be ruled by my most base instincts.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  Which is a real issue for me, whether that's, I mean, pleasure, like, my, my biggest problem is obviously fucking eating. I can't stop. Like, I can get, I can stop doing every other drug, but man, is it hard to get my diet in check?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:47Stavros Halkias?

  Even while I'm doing a bunch of other shit, it just really is a crazy psychological block.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, it re, I am just the most old fashioned glutton in that like, let me get some pussy, let me get some fucking al pastor.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, especially when like, life is good, and you're like, things are going well, you're like, well, I might as well have some fun.

• 34:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  I, I could relate to that for sure. I mean, like, yeah, if you're like, if you're- If you're kind of doing what you want to do and things are

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Kind of fun.

• 34:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Well, I'm gonna have a drink. I'm gonna have a fun meal.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  And just like, enjoy this.

• 34:22Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  That was kind of the whole.

• 34:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's the whole point, yeah. But that's, that goes back to my idea of like, I do think that's ultimately what everyone is eh, doing it for, but they grow out of it at some point.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but eh, yeah, I don't know.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  It does, it does shift for sure. I know. It's, it, it's like, I, I was talking to a friend recently and it's like, you know, when you start working and doing stuff, whether it's like staying up or going somewhere for a job and they like fly you out and put you up at a hotel. And it's like, yeah, I'm gonna hit the minibar.

• 34:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  To a point where you're like, ah, I can't really do that.

• 34:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so tired of this.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  It's like, man, this is a different thing.

• 34:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I know the exact.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  You just gotta shift the, what, what feels good.

• 35:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  I definitely go back and forth.

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no, eh, eh, ain't nothing wrong with that, you know?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Uh, Kevin, what's his name? Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2.

• 35:12Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Being at the Plaza just going nuts.

• 35:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  That's been good for me. That's me. Like, it's like, that's what life is about.

• 35:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that does look fucking awesome. Hanging out with Donald Trump.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 35:22Stavros Halkias?

  Having pizza.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Like, that's a guy who doesn't hold back. He does whatever he wants.

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's a guy who says what he feels.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:30Stavros Halkias?

  He's not worried about getting fucking canceled.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  We were talking about living the Donald Trump life.

• 35:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're talking about, we're talking about getting trumped up, baby.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  It's the only way to live.

• 35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Unfortunately, yeah, he is, he's having a good time at the expense of literally everything else.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that is the, that is the ultimate, like, fuck, what would I do with that much power? Would I just ruin the whole world?

• 35:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, just be like, fuck all you motherfuckers. Fuck you.

• 35:56Stavros Halkias?

  I'm dying.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  What you did when I got out of office last time.

• 35:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Everybody came after me. I'm gonna fucking just knock everybody around and go crazy. Like. All those, all those people, like, they're all like jacked up on anger. They're like, it's a real drug. It's whether it looks like cocaine. They might be doing cocaine, they might, might be Adderall, whatever.

• 36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Feel like they're all just like.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Like just.

• 36:20Stavros Halkias?

  Crush your enemy. I mean, what really sucks, it's gotta be tough to be Rosie O'Donnell.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  It's gotta be.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cause she was his like number one enemy.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  I know.

• 36:28Stavros Halkias?

  Forever. And like, look, he's a piece of shit, ISIS fascist, they should all go to jail. But he is winning. Like he is, he is stunting on all his enemies in a way that it's gotta be brutal to be Rosie. Like, cause she was winning for a while. She had a better career. He was kinda, The Apprentice is cancelled. He's a lunatic who's going after Barack Obama and he's fucking president and he's got your ass. And he's like chased her out of the country in a way like she doesn't even live here anymore. I don't know. She's a dream guest.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  We love.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Have you reached out?

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but right, consider this my official, uh, you know.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Have you always loved Rosie?

• 37:06Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, the Rosie O'Donnell talk show.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 37:09Stavros Halkias?

  I love that. Me too, exactly.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  The coosballs.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  The coosballs.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  How, how old are you?

• 37:14Stavros Halkias?

  I'm thirty six.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm forty, forty one.

• 37:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, I was like a little ass kid watching that shit too. I was fucking, I was like since second grade being like, Rosie's fucking awesome.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  She's fucking fun, man. She's, I want her to be my teacher.

• 37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah. That's kinda what it felt like. And I was also, it also felt, I wonder how much of this show basically, I bet, I bet you if you watch the Rosie O'Donnell show, it's exactly like this show vibes was. I probably just stole all her whole fucking swag.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  That's fucking tight. That's a cool influence to have. Makes me wanna go back and check it out.

• 37:43Stavros Halkias?

  I might wanna check it out, cause it was, it was like a afternoon talk show, which is a very rare thing, like.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it wasn't daytime.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Cause she was doing it like a late night show, but it came on at fucking three P M.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:53Stavros Halkias?

  Which is an interesting, it's kind of a vestige of her.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  On the couch.

• 37:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  She wasn't going like, you know, what, like asking people about their relationships or like their pregnancies and trying to fix them and having like emotional, tearful conversations.

• 38:07Stavros Halkias?

  Just having a good time, pretending she wanted to fuck Tom Cruise. I remember that.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  I remember that all the time.

• 38:11Stavros Halkias?

  That was awesome.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  That was so cool. We are now like, she was, I mean.

• 38:15Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe honestly.

• 38:15Speaker 03

  I was just way ahead of us, but like it dipped off for a while with Cruz. Now everybody's back. Everybody's just like, fuck, yeah Cruz.

• 38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I guess if you were a lesbian, that is the body type. Who, if you're a lesbian who liked femme, Tom Cruise.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:29Stavros Halkias?

  Twinkish.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Elvish.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I remember one episode. Being, this is how, being a kid, there was just one, I don't even remember who it was, but one lady was in Playboy. And they showed the picture, but they put Band-Aids over her tits.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 38:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I just remember being like.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  One of those.

• 38:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I just remember being in fourth grade or whatever and being like, awesome.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:52Stavros Halkias?

  I remember being like, thank you for showing me tits, Rosie. You're fucking, thank you for showing me Playboy.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  On the show.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  On the show. It was like a fun, like, and that's, that's a cheeky thing to do in the middle of the day, dude. Shout out to fucking Rosie, man.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, she knew, she knew we were watching. Like, this is for my boys.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you know who my audience is?

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Home from school, it's like, there's a couche for you boys.

• 39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, couche is very fucking seven-year-old boy-coded.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it really is. Flinging them out there.

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, fuck. So did you do, so you go to England, you're fucking, you're playing fucking, uh, fucking, uh, Othello in blackface.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm doing blackface in math class. I'm like going to town. Loving it.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:35Stavros Halkias?

  And then you come back and you want to be a fucking, you're like, I'm a thespian?

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was like, I came back and I was like, I'm not gonna do, I was in a improv and sketch group with Kyle Mooney and my brother.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Good neighbor, very funny stuff.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Thank you so much. Um, and, yeah, we were all in a sketch group. And I was like, I'm gonna take the fall off and, um, cause I'm gonna do Three Penny Opera on the main stage.

• 39:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  Mac the Knife.

• 40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, yeah, dude, that song.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:04Stavros Halkias?

  I know Mac the Knife's song.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  He doesn't sing that song, though.

• 40:06Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  I know, it sucks.

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  They sing it about him, or?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, they sing it about him, the narrator sings it about him.

• 40:11Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, that's a fucking banger.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Um, so I did that and then I came back.

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  Mac was cool as fuck, huh?

• 40:16Speaker 03

  He's a badass. He's a serial killer and a rapist.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't realize he raped.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  I didn't mean to say rape was cool. But no, but he's like, he's got like three different girlfriends that he goes to visit. And like, it's, I think it's, it might be Brecht. I think it's Brecht. So it's like, it's weird.

• 40:36Stavros Halkias?

  I just know that song's cool and not knowing shit about the play, you hear like, fucking Mac the knife. So you're like, oh, he's cool. He fucking stabs. Somebody uses the knife?

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cool fucking guy.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Really cool guy.

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  He'll stab you. I assume.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  And he's kind of having fun with it. He's like, I'm a stabby, I'm a bad guy. Yeah.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  That is, yeah. So you're, you're playing Mac the fucking knife.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Playing Mac the knife.

• 40:59Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, comedy's not for me, fellas.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm Mac the motherfucking knife.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  I studied abroad. I'm bringing, I'm bringing Europe back.

• 41:06Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  And I do that play and then I, yeah, and it was fine.

• 41:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  I remember being on stage and like, uh, we had this really great actress in our class and she was in it. And like, I remember being on stage afterwards and some of the actors in our class coming up to her and being like, you were amazing. Oh my God. And then being like, dude.

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  That was great.

• 41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Pretty good.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:32Stavros Halkias?

  While they're waiting to talk to her.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  You memorized all those lines? Cool, man. You really went for it with that one.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, you like, really shot for the moon, man. Good for you.

• 41:44Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Then went back to my, uh.

• 41:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, actors will let you know. That's a funny, theater kids are fucking hilarious, dude.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  They're crazy.

• 41:51Stavros Halkias?

  How, they are literally more competitive than, than athletes.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  You think so? Yeah, theater kids?

• 41:56Stavros Halkias?

  I think so because sports at, at bottom, you do play the game. There is a close, it's not fully objective. There's refs, there's whatever.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:06Stavros Halkias?

  There's a close to objective.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:09Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody wins, somebody loses.

• 42:11Speaker 03

  You're either good or you're not. Same with comedy. You're either fun, you either get laughs or you don't with.

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  But even with comedy, you can fucking, you can get the right, you know, people get sometimes reviews that are crazy.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, or people know how to work an audience and like a hacky way and get laughs or claps or whatever.

• 42:23Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Drop references and improv shows.

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly. Yeah. They know the little tricks or whatever. But even, you know, but I really feel like in theater, it's like, there is really no objective. Like, some people are just super talented.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:37Stavros Halkias?

  But it's sociopaths that convince themselves they're the best.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:41Stavros Halkias?

  And nothing will ever truly convince them it's not true.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Right. See, they can be an awful singer. He likes belting it.

• 42:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  It's just like, dude, no. And they're like, no, but I think it is good. And usually like, you don't record stuff and watch it back.

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  So they're just living in that moment, living in their feelings.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Whether it's like dance, singing, or the, yeah, and they're just like, and it's not a team thing.

• 43:04Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Like with improv, it kind of is, you know, with, with sketch and whatever, like sports, definitely. Like you're working together. And in theater, it's, you're kind of like, I guess you are a little bit, but you're looking at.

• 43:16Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone is always competing.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  They're the, they're the star. They want to be the star.

• 43:20Stavros Halkias?

  In like a hilariously like sociopathic Machiavellian way, it's like, and it starts young.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it does.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  It starts fucking young. I mean, you know, I, I, I don't know. It's just a very funny. And you don't, and you have parents that are like sports parents. I'm sure you're.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Theater parents?

• 43:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Your parents weren't theater parents, were they?

• 43:39Speaker 03

  No, no. My mom, she would take me, she took me to auditions, like the children's theater. And she signed me up for, she lied about my age so I could take improv classes at Second City downtown.

• 43:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's pretty cool.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was great. And then from that, I got an agent and went on like 10 auditions.

• 43:56Stavros Halkias?

  As a kid?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, in high school. Like I was like 16.

• 43:59Stavros Halkias?

  Did you get fresh faced? Were you ever in like a fucking?

• 44:02Speaker 03

  A weird situation? What's, what's fresh face? Cause that sounds bad.

• 44:06Stavros Halkias?

  How bad do you want to be in a Twix commercial, kid?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  I did have a shady audition and likely at nothing, this is crazy. So like we'd go downtown. We're at like, I forget which hotel. It's a big fancy hotel.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  Hotel, already a problem.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  That never, never happened.

• 44:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hotel, already an issue, yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  You feel like it's like, yeah, you got, you just signed a kid? His mom doesn't know anything about auditions? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Send them in.

• 44:28Stavros Halkias?

  Send them in.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Send them into my room. I went up to this person's room. My mom's in the hallway. It's a suite. So there's no bed, but you know, it's like you got the, the pocket doors that open up into the bedroom.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  If it's at least a suite, but still, man.

• 44:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:41Stavros Halkias?

  You're on thin ice.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  And it was for Nickelodeon.

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. It's Dan Schneider?

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Honestly, it might have been. I could, I could look up in my, no, I mean, I don't, my mom would have gotten the email. It was probably a call. But yeah, they were like looking for like the next all that or something. And I had to sing and dance.

• 44:59Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  And maybe do like a monologue.

• 45:01Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  And I remember it was like Backstreet, like boys were big.

• 45:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  And they're just in the Backstreet's back, you know, where they kind of do the whole thing, like the zombie thing.

• 45:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  And I remember playing that song on a, like I brought in a little CD and like put it in the boombox. And it was like.

• 45:16Stavros Halkias?

  Like dancing for some man in his suite.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  And how many people are in the room?

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Just him.

• 45:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, you and one guy?

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  Very good.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, alright, that's enough.

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Very good, Christopher.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Christopher. Come over, sit right over here, come over, sit right over here. Like, yeah, you know, you do the thing, you audition, you sit on their lap, you bounce up and down, then you leave.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  You leave him your underwear, and then that's fine, that's how you audition, I'm a pro.

• 45:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, that's hilarious.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Luckily, there was, there was no weird comments or anything, but looking back, and everything that's happened.

• 45:54Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's insane, the whole.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  It's insane, no casting director?

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  To hold, yeah, exactly.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  And like.

• 45:59Stavros Halkias?

  Auditions for children in a fucking suite.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  And sing and dance for me.

• 46:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  I mean, that could have been like, oof, now it's dawning on me, maybe that was the whole, that's all he wanted.

• 46:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, he's not connected to Nickelodeon whatsoever, your mom got scammed.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  He's not looking, he's not looking for the, now we're getting dark, he's not looking to go the next step with any of these kids? He's just looking to have kids come and sing and dance for him.

• 46:20Stavros Halkias?

  I mean.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  That could have been a sexual thing for whoever that guy was.

• 46:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, just that, yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Because I mean, when you look at the Dan Schneider stuff, it's like, the stuff he was making the kids do, I like, I can't really watch those.

• 46:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Because I was a beast. I'm finding out right now. But, uh, yeah, like, just making them do, kinda like, suggestive things, or like, get wet or something, yeah.

• 46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's fucked.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  So fucked up.

• 46:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking crazy, um, and I would love, it would be interesting to go back and see if they even cast any new, all that members in that year.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, probably not, definitely not, I.

• 46:51Stavros Halkias?

  Because I feel like the cast was pretty locked.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, nah.

• 46:55Stavros Halkias?

  There wasn't that much movement.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  They were like, we're looking for the next one.

• 46:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Come and sing and dance?

• 46:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  I mean, I guess they kinda did a little bit of that.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you, you, when you, when you met Keenan, were you like, how about singing and dancing in that guy's hotel by yourself?

• 47:07Speaker 03

  He was like, he was like, yeah, no. I can't, I've never tried to keep him, no, man.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Don't, don't impersonate Keenan.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I'll run it by him next time I see him.

• 47:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:23Stavros Halkias?

  He seems to be the only non-molested one of that entire, of that entire group.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's just too good of a guy.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Stavros Halkias?

  You hear that, kids? If you get molested, it's because you're bad.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're bad. It's your fault. And if you're just kinda nicer to be around, like Keenan.

• 47:39Stavros Halkias?

  You smiled more, maybe you'd be spared.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  Go to work and don't bring your baggage to work. And you kinda just like cool to everybody and you deal with your own shit on your time.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Then you won't get abused.

• 47:51Stavros Halkias?

  Then you won't get punitively molested for setting production back a day.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Absolutely. I'm glad we could address this.

• 48:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck. Now, did, do you think in, when you were in London, do you think they prepared you to be like Clark Kent's annoying coworker? Did that get you, did they, did you, did they get you primed for that?

• 48:14Speaker 03

  You know, I'm trying to-

• 48:15Stavros Halkias?

  Because you crushed that.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 48:16Stavros Halkias?

  You did. You were, you were truly hilarious in that role.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  Thanks, man. Appreciate that. You know, I don't know if it was, yeah, no, I'm, I wish I had something fun to say about it. No, they didn't. They did not. I don't know where that came from. Probably just my personality.

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Just, just, I love playing obnoxious idiots.

• 48:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, it's the best.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  It's so freeing, you know, it's like-

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  There's a, there's a part of me that probably like, likes to be that in my real life. You know, and just like-

• 48:45Stavros Halkias?

  That you have to keep kinda locked away?

• 48:46Speaker 03

  A little bit.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  And they let you free it?

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, at this point in my life, I think, I think there's enough self-awareness now where it's like, I don't want to be that guy.

• 48:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. But that's lurking.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  It's lurking.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a different path in your life.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  And you're just like, I'm having a good time! And then you like think back and you're like, oh, I guess I am kinda, that's, that is in me.

• 49:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, totally. Totally. I get that. I mean, every, every like, you know, everyone who's good at playing something, I just feel like they have just a little piece that they let, that they let out on the leash.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Absolutely. And I don't, I don't know if it was like- Growing up and seeing the sort of like that kind of behavior a little bit.

• 49:26Stavros Halkias?

  Chicago is probably pretty well, like in terms of loud, obnoxious loud mouths.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Who think they're funny?

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, big.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Big time.

• 49:33Stavros Halkias?

  Cause culturally, the city is funny.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're like, I'm here, I'm a funny guy.

• 49:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  People are funny, but they like, yeah, there's something about, I don't know if it's generational thing either though, because it's like my dad's and my parents' friends or whatever, but there's like definitely like that sort of like, I'm gonna give you a hard time.

• 49:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 49:49Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? But that's also like when people aren't that funny, they're offensive.

• 49:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  And so it's always, I feel like, there's a lot of that back there. Like, I'm joking, I'm giving you a hard time, relax.

• 49:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  You just said something obnoxious.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Come on!

• 50:03Speaker 03

  You said I look stupid and fat.

• 50:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  And that I look like I got these clothes out of the garbage.

• 50:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  I haven't seen you in five years.

• 50:11Stavros Halkias?

  Pretty good, actually. Both of, that's actually not bad.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Pretty spot on, yeah.

• 50:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's not bad to hit you with in quick succession. It would be, I'd have to see the timing.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:20Stavros Halkias?

  To see if it was good or not.

• 50:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was.

• 50:21Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you look stupid and fat, where'd you get those clothes, the fucking garbage?

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Clothes, the garbage can, I think you forgot to shave today.

• 50:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Nice to see you, nice to see you, great, great. It's also like, people try to be funny.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Cause I was on SNL and they're like, yeah, I'm gonna be funny, this is fun.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's tough.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  So it's that, that behavior is right there, ready, ready for me to pick up.

• 50:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Don't need to do much.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, do they, and, and let me ask you, as like a gift, when the, when the movie's over, do they let you look at Superman's penis?

• 50:48Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 50:49Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that's fucking awesome.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they.

• 50:51Stavros Halkias?

  And is it the actors or do they give him a prostate? Cause he never sees his dick, but you gotta think Superman's gotta have a big hog.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Right, it's.

• 50:57Stavros Halkias?

  And I don't know what corn sweat's working with, but no disrespect.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 51:00Stavros Halkias?

  Any human man probably has a smaller dick than Superman, I would guess.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  And that's part of the casting process.

• 51:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, really?

• 51:06Speaker 03

  They show the penis and they're like, that's perfect.

• 51:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  It's like, it's, it's just big enough, just small enough, just kinda right, it's gonna fit in the mold, cause that's how, that's how they do it.

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they put it in a mold?

• 51:16Speaker 03

  They have a Superman penis mold, and they're like, will the body fit the mold?

• 51:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  And so like, what they don't tell you about the casting, they're like, they just have this mold in every session, they're like.

• 51:27Stavros Halkias?

  No. That's not Superman. If you don't get in the mold, they don't even let you read the lines.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, no, no, no. You gotta get in the mold.

• 51:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's really interesting.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  It's like, it's kinda like Cinderella, you know? Pick the mold first.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Oh, it just came to life. It was really special.

• 51:43Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful dude.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  But he's great. I mean, he's like one of those guys, when shooting with him, I like felt very, I like felt safe with him.

• 51:50Stavros Halkias?

  He seems cool, like, it's so easy to fucking hate on, uh, like-

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Jack, talented, gorgeous guys who seem to get everything they've ever wanted.

• 51:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. He really does seem like the most perfect guy, cause he's also like, what we were talking about earlier, he's married, he seems to love his wife, like-

• 52:09Speaker 03

  They're adorable, yeah.

• 52:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's fuck, and he's like a dork about the shit he, like-

• 52:13Speaker 03

  He is, he's a real dork. He cares about all this stuff and loves it.

• 52:17Stavros Halkias?

  He might be the only benevolent, straight theater guy I've ever even been aware of. Cause mostly they're sinister.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:24Stavros Halkias?

  Straight theater guys are mostly-

• 52:26Speaker 03

  They're very intense.

• 52:26Stavros Halkias?

  You get the worst of gay and straight into one guy.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:31Stavros Halkias?

  Usually.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  I mean, yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot of intense energy. I mean, like, that's why, I think like, I was in, into theater in, in high school, and I was like, I kinda don't-

• 52:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  This crowd, it's, it's a lot for me.

• 52:43Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  So I think that's why comedy-

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  It just ended up going that way.

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  That shows you how bad it is, that you're like, I feel more comfortable around comedians.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is a better, this is a better-

• 52:53Stavros Halkias?

  This is a more welcoming environment.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  Oh, man. It is, I am friends with a lot of, like, I would, well, I would also say theater actors.

• 53:02Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  Maybe theater brought like musicals.

• 53:05Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I think music, I think the, the musicals where it gets dicey.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  It's a, it's like, cause it's, it's just, it's just more intense.

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  But like, I'm friends with a lot of actors, friends with a lot of comedians, and it is, it's interesting. They kind of like roll their eyes at each other.

• 53:19Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  You know, like-

• 53:21Stavros Halkias?

  You got to.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  The actors are so genuine, the comedians are so bitty, they can't have a real conversation. But the actors are so genuine, you can't like fuck around with them.

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  Too genuine.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  Dude, oh, um-

• 53:32Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that's fucking brutal.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  I mean, I love them both.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  But yeah.

• 53:37Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, comedians are scared to be earnest.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:39Stavros Halkias?

  And like actors can overdo earnestness sometimes.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:43Stavros Halkias?

  It is cool when you meet just a cool actor. Like, I was shocked when I fucking did, I mean, I wasn't shocked because I didn't think they were gonna be weird, but it was like, you just don't know what to expect, like, you know, Begonia out now, go see it. Not that you need me to fucking promote it, but both, both Emma Stone and fucking Plemons were awesome.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:01Stavros Halkias?

  Just regular fucking people who were funny and just like, yeah, it was like, I was, because you, you expect like, oh, I'm gonna go there, Emma Stone's gonna throw hot coffee in my face because I look, because I made eye contact.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  You're gonna do something wrong where it's like, you don't do that on this kind of set. That's how I felt with Superman. I was like, oh, this is gonna be different. It's like, no, it's the same thing.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  It's just like, you just, it's the same. It's the same thing. It's just bigger.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  Um, how did you, so like, have you always acted? Were you, I mean, like, because you're doing more of it.

• 54:29Stavros Halkias?

  I liked, I mean, I always liked acting. I kinda was, I mean, maybe all this, like, talking about how theater kids are a piece of shit is projection because like,

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  I kinda dipped my toe in like the theater kid, like, waters.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  But I just, um, you know, I don't know, when I was like really, like, me and others were in some elementary school productions together, you know? I kinda did think, I think there was a moment where I was like, I'm a fucking, I'm a triple threat.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sing, dance, act, do it all.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  You were singing and dancing?

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't dancing, I was singing though, you know? Uh, uh, I thought I could sing when I was like in third grade, like, I'm, I'm watching Rosie O'Donnell. I'm sit, I'm in there, I'm like, I'm gonna be a star like Rosie.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  That's so cute. That is so sweet.

• 55:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I do think there was a little just like, you know, plenty of toxic masculine, uh, uh, you know, like, um, uh, sort of influences on me where it's like,

• 55:26Speaker 03

  I don't wanna do that.

• 55:27Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want, it's fucking gay, I'm fucking cool. You know, back when gay was bad.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 55:32Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's awesome.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Gay didn't mean you were gay.

• 55:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  You were not cool, like.

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but I was like, I'm a fucking cool guy, I'm a, I'm a jock, I'm fucking awesome. I, like, I went, I literally, like, I had one, my, any, the only training I've ever done in acting is I, I went to the Baltimore School for the Arts, like, after-school program

• 55:54Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:55Stavros Halkias?

  for middle schoolers, one year. And I, I kinda liked it. It was pretty fun, whatever. And then I auditioned for like the school. I don't know if I, or I went to like one audition and I kinda, and I got a callback. But I remember being like, so what's your guys' sports teams like? And they were like, we're the school for the arts.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  This is the sports team.

• 56:14Stavros Halkias?

  We don't, yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have sports. And I was like, sorry ma, I'm not gonna be able to even fucking go to the callback. I gotta play football.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Wow, nice. You ditched.

• 56:23Stavros Halkias?

  And then I did. I probably wouldn't have gotten it. Also, it's like, I don't think I was like, I couldn't sing for a role.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. I thought I could sing, looking back. I did Les Mis my senior year of high school. Jean Valjean.

• 56:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh shit dude.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  Huge deal, huge deal. Looking back at the DVD, oof. I'm like, two, four, six, four, one. It's just like, wow, man. Think you're an opera singer.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Maybe for the time it was fine, but like, yeah, looking back, I'm like, oh, that, how good I, like we were saying, like how good I thought I was was really in my head. Now that I can watch it back. Oof, stick to, yeah.

• 56:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, a lot of that.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Stick to the non-singing, acting.

• 57:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Comedy. Yeah. You played football?

• 57:05Stavros Halkias?

  I played, I wanted to play football and I got very lucky that our JV, I, my parents didn't want me to play football. They were actually fully correct.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Yes. I would not let my son play football.

• 57:15Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they were very ahead of the, Europeans were ahead of the curve on like, um, this is barbaric. We shouldn't have child, children smashing their heads into each other. But my JV, so I played soccer, you know, my, pretty much my whole life. And then our JV soccer coach gave pornography to one of the kids in 10th grade. And not even in a molester way and like a, I want him to think I'm cool way, which isn't worse, but it's weird.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:44Stavros Halkias?

  But it's still weird.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  It's not worse than the molestation.

• 57:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, you don't wanna get to get molested. I'm on record. We're anti that.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  We're anti. We've said it a million times today. We're anti.

• 57:54Stavros Halkias?

  And we even tried to give kids tips earlier on how not to do it.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:58Stavros Halkias?

  You know, be fun, be smile at the workplace.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be, have boundaries. Don't let them in.

• 58:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's on you again.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  It's on you again. You're gonna work, you're gonna go to work, go to work.

• 58:12Stavros Halkias?

  Your next project's, you're doing a children's show, right?

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:16Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Just me and the kids.

• 58:21Stavros Halkias?

  Filmed at your suite at the Waldorf Astoria.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  You're allowed to do that, actually. You're allowed to shoot a kid's show in your hotel room by yourself.

• 58:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's not technically illegal.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  It's not technically illegal.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  But, yeah, you played football.

• 58:35Stavros Halkias?

  And so, he got shit canned, and I got to kind of sneak into playing football because I was a lot. My parents didn't need to know because they just thought I was going to soccer practice. And then I, you know, I played for a couple of years. It was just, it was truly just some like, you want the American experience kind of shit. Where I was like, I'm a fucking cool jock, I play football. And that wasn't ultimately for me. But I do like, I do like that I got to play actual football with pads and shit for a couple of years. I had that experience, it was pretty fun. I got to play on the Raven, we had like a rivalry game, the, the Poly City game.

• 59:10Stavros Halkias?

  And I got to play on Raven Stadium, that was fucking sick. But, yeah. Were you, did you, would you play anything?

• 59:16Speaker 03

  I played, I played football, I played a lot of sports growing up. And then I played football as a fullback.

• 59:20Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, dude. I wanted to play football, that was a classic, like, Mike Alstott was around at the time, I don't know if you remember. You wanted to be, and I was a fat white boy, obviously.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  What, what's he was, what did he?

• 59:31Stavros Halkias?

  He was with the Bucks.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was with the Bucks.

• 59:33Stavros Halkias?

  It was him and Warwick Dunn.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  He had the big neck thing, and I, I got some of those too, yeah, loved watching him. I got elbow pads, so I could just like barrel through people.

• 59:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, but I was too dumb to get offensive plays. Like, my brain just doesn't work in terms of understanding football at all.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Really, yeah. That's gonna hurt you.

• 59:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:51Stavros Halkias?

  So I played defensive line, which was fun.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Defense was more fun.

• 59:55Stavros Halkias?

  You just fucking, just go try and tackle the guy, it was awesome.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so, but yeah, football was, it was fun because you got to be like... I'm fucking, I'm fucking a badass.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, he used to like go insane.

• 1:00:08Stavros Halkias?

  Play tackle football?

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I took a lot of anger issues out of football. And it was definitely, or maybe it created them. Looking back at CT.

• 1:00:17Stavros Halkias?

  Little CT?

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe a little sprinkling. Yeah, just losing my mind a little bit, bashing my head into other kids.

• 1:00:23Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the, that's the kind of, I mean, you're bringing the right brain into podcasting. I know you, that's, you should have brain damage to get into podcasting.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  It feels like that's what's making it possible to keep going.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's the perfect, like, mix of, like, already established show business career plus brain damage.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, because if I was a little sharper, I'd be like, why am I doing this?

• 1:00:43Stavros Halkias?

  Why am I doing this? This is, this, I'm debasing myself, I have a good career, I'm in major movies, I was on SNL. I don't need to do this.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  You got the voiceover stuff happening.

• 1:00:53Stavros Halkias?

  I'm fucking, you ever try and buy fucking par, buffalo, you know, Parm garlic wings? You know what I mean? You're gonna hear your voice.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  You're gonna hear my voice. I got that.

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  You're the buffalo, dude.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Best job ever.

• 1:01:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking sick.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Favorite job, I mean, SNL was great, but Hank is like.

• 1:01:09Stavros Halkias?

  B-dub dubs, guys.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  I love my B-dubs.

• 1:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  We're big, we're big B-dub dubs, guys.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  It's fantastic. Incredible environment.

• 1:01:16Stavros Halkias?

  I'm very jealous, if you could put in a good word.

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe Hank has a little, a little friend.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  Like, you wanna go to one of the restaurants?

• 1:01:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, can you get me in?

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Get you in the door? I can probably get you in one.

• 1:01:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's like Four Charles.

• 1:01:28Speaker 03

  Honestly.

• 1:01:28Stavros Halkias?

  Getting a, getting a reservation at Buffalo, Buffalo Wild Wings.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really, it's a hot spot.

• 1:01:33Stavros Halkias?

  Can you get me in, dude?

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  You can't get in. Honestly, you know, maybe Hank has done some commercials with, he did one with Heidi Gardner.

• 1:01:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Little Dicky.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  I don't know, maybe, I think you'd be perfect.

• 1:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  Come on.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  You could talk with Hank, be there, improvise with you.

• 1:01:49Stavros Halkias?

  I would love that, dude.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  Put the CGI buffalo in. Okay, B-dubs.

• 1:01:52Stavros Halkias?

  B-dubs.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  You guys who are here.

• 1:01:54Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a fan.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Let's make it happen.

• 1:01:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a fan, I'm not, this wouldn't be bullshit.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Stop is ready to go.

• 1:01:59Stavros Halkias?

  I put, I've put away a lot of Buffalo Wild Wings in my day, truly. But you and, you and your boy Kyle, very funny.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, he is.

• 1:02:07Stavros Halkias?

  We should plug that before we get to our call.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's called What's Our Podcast? It's a podcast where we don't know what our podcast is about, so we have our guests come on. And give us an idea. We talked to them for a little bit and then we tried it. Cause we were like, let's just, yeah, we were talking about this a little bit, but let's just do as little preparation as possible.

• 1:02:24Stavros Halkias?

  I love that. Cause that's my, the philosophy of podcasting is you should do no work. You should never edit anything. You should never second guess anything. This is a bullshit medium.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Into. I need to let that go.

• 1:02:36Stavros Halkias?

  You have to, that, that is the, that's the problem where you start from a real forms of entertainment.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Like, I want to make this good. Like, I want to craft it and make it.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  That will ensure you fail.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, I'm already, I'm like, this is too much work. This is not what I signed up for. I signed up for hanging out and like, I like putting the clips out, but the, yeah, just looking at it.

• 1:02:56Stavros Halkias?

  You can't, you can't care that it's good or not. You put it out.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  I think you're right.

• 1:03:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's slop. You piggies will eat it up, right?

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Cause I'm, I'm, we're all piggies. We all like to eat it up.

• 1:03:07Stavros Halkias?

  Other people slop?

• 1:03:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:09Stavros Halkias?

  I have to go on long walks and not be with my thoughts sometimes.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Absolutely. I have to do dishes and listen to stuff. Yeah, exactly. It's so sad to do laundry or dishes without hearing, hearing people talk in your head.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  Hearing, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, you're going to reflect on your life.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Oh, what am I doing?

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Are you going to think about what's next for yourself? No, you're going to hear some comics, buh, phone in a conversation.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  Really what it is, is like, I was saying that with my wife watches, I mean, I watch it with her, Bravo, reality TV. And she puts it on at night and it's like, just fill, fill the silence in your head until you're tired enough to go to sleep.

• 1:03:43Stavros Halkias?

  Don't engage with anything.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  All this does, yeah.

• 1:03:45Stavros Halkias?

  Don't engage with anything hard intellectually. I need to start reading books that are easy.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  You've started reading books that are easy?

• 1:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  It's like, what, do you want to give me one? Or like, you don't, I don't want to put you on the spot.

• 1:03:55Stavros Halkias?

  Just, I mean, not, they're good books, but it's not like intellect, like.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got it. I started reading.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  Like mystery stuff, crime books.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  I want to get into more of that. I, I read some, what's his name? Stephen King, like years ago.

• 1:04:08Stavros Halkias?

  He's good. I heard of that guy.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  He's good, man. He's actually good. I'm actually the first one to fucking realize that that guy's got some good shit.

• 1:04:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Really spooky and scary too, like talks to like rate to the human experience.

• 1:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  But that's what I'm talking about. It's shit like that. Like I'm read, I just read, uh, the book Jackie Brown was based on Rumpunch. Elmore Leonard. Elmore Leonard is perfect, dude, because.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Elmore Leonard.

• 1:04:32Stavros Halkias?

  He's, a lot of his books have been turned into movies because they're just fun and like they're crime and they're well-written, but it's like, you can be pretty dumb and enjoy them.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  It's, I mean, I, I couldn't be more supportive of like basic, simple reading.

• 1:04:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, dude.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Reading, it's like, people read and it just, they bring a little snootiness into it. And it's like, oh, I read this.

• 1:04:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's so funny.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  Book and like won this award or it's like.

• 1:04:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  New York Times best books.

• 1:04:58Stavros Halkias?

  No, fuck that.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  I get some people like to be challenged, but like I used to read Goosebumps in second grade.

• 1:05:03Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  Great time.

• 1:05:04Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  And then it got into higher stuff. I'm like, this is just.

• 1:05:07Stavros Halkias?

  The adult Goosebumps is like for bros are like, it's like a dumb crime, not dumb, but like a mystery novel.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Stavros Halkias?

  Crime. Like I love action movies. I, yes, this shit's kind of formulaic. You know, it's going to be, you, you're trying to guess who it is.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  But you read a good one.

• 1:05:22Stavros Halkias?

  But it's good, bro.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  You're just like so in it.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  I know. Well, listen, don't, but listen, don't read books.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Don't read books.

• 1:05:28Stavros Halkias?

  Listen to the podcast.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  Our podcast.

• 1:05:29Stavros Halkias?

  Don't read audio books either. That's a big, don't do that.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  Don't do books. If you're gonna do it, listen to a podcast about the book, not even the audio version of it. Like, we'll just talk about a book.

• 1:05:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Kind of like, what was that thing in Cliff's Notes or whatever?

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Cliff Notes. Shout out to Cliff Notes.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, we don't know what we're doing.

• 1:05:48Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  Crazy. We banked 14 and now we just started to put, put them out and I'm having to watch myself.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. Another big mistake.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Big mistake.

• 1:05:57Stavros Halkias?

  I could not tell you.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Actually come here being like, I want advice on how to make this sustainable.

• 1:06:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  And that is.

• 1:06:03Stavros Halkias?

  Never watch anything. It's like it and that's.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  Because nothing's gonna matter. You're like, oh, what did I say? It's gonna be bad, it's gonna turn people.

• 1:06:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying. You are, you are stuck, your, your brain is stuck in a place where people watch what you do.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:06:18Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, I will be judged for this and that will not happen with podcasts.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  But it's also like.

• 1:06:23Stavros Halkias?

  When it does, it's catastrophic. Don't get me wrong. When, when something.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Totally fucked, but it's not that.

• 1:06:28Stavros Halkias?

  When a podcast clip breaks containment into the fucking regular world, you are fucked. But even then you have to be like, it'll be over in two weeks.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Exactly. It's like, whatever.

• 1:06:37Stavros Halkias?

  And more people will listen to my podcast.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  It'll be like a headline. People will be like, oh, well, this is.

• 1:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, like.

• 1:06:43Stavros Halkias?

  But you have to make peace with that, too.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz it's also the reason, it's, I mean, it's the reason why I like a lot of podcasts is like the looseness. And just seeing people like unfiltered.

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Barely give a fuck, you know, tell the real, say what they really feel about clowns. Fuck you.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Fuck you clowns. I mean, that, clowns, clowns want that. Honestly, that's the clown dynamic.

• 1:07:04Stavros Halkias?

  We fed, we fed into them. They're going.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, mm, mm.

• 1:07:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  Now they're like pulling a little rose out and being like, mm, mm.

• 1:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm like, you know, fuck you. And I throw the rose at them. Fuck, I'm falling right into their trap.

• 1:07:15Speaker 03

  Right into that clown trap.

• 1:07:16Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, I would, if a sexy clown tried to trap me, dude, I would allow it for sure.

• 1:07:21Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:07:22Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I think I do like when a woman has a dumb costume or like dumb hair.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  You like that?

• 1:07:28Stavros Halkias?

  I do.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  Can you think of something that, I mean, like, I'm trying to, I mean, I, again, I'm putting you on the spot after your book.

• 1:07:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, go ahead.

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  Your sexy clown.

• 1:07:37Stavros Halkias?

  What, yeah, yeah. Can I think about a sexy clown I would fuck? Let me see here.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  Like the lady from Weapons.

• 1:07:45Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, a hot version of her. I honestly would. The fucking fucked up.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  So scary.

• 1:07:49Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, but I'm, I mean, like, if you put a girl with huge tits in a weird wig, in that weird little cutoff wig and like overplastered makeup, yeah.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:57Stavros Halkias?

  There's cosplay, there will be some aunt, what the fuck was her name? Aunt, uh, do you remember Eldis? Do you see Weapons?

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  I didn't see it.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  You didn't see it?

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  No spoilers, please. I hear it's really good.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  No spoilers?

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Spoilers.

• 1:08:09Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking asshole, are you out of your fucking mind?

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're too late.

• 1:08:12Stavros Halkias?

  On Gladys. That was her name.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  On Gladys, yeah.

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if a sexy on Gladys, yeah.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm down for a sexy clown.

• 1:08:21Stavros Halkias?

  I understand why cosplay has overtaken the internet. I don't know if you're aware of this.

• 1:08:25Speaker 03

  Oh, I am aware of it because it's just fed to me.

• 1:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, yeah, I wanna fuck a hot version of the cartoons I watched as a child.

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Stavros Halkias?

  You got me. I wanna fuck every X-Man, woman. I mean, you know.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  Costumes are sexy. Like, I remember doing theater and like dancing in like 7th grade and being like, these girls are wearing these skirts and these, like, they're just like, yeah, you know.

• 1:08:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, I don't, I can't really describe it other than that.

• 1:08:52Stavros Halkias?

  This is good shit.

• 1:08:53Speaker 03

  It's good shit. Costumes are hot and horny. Costumes are coming back.

• 1:08:57Stavros Halkias?

  Costumes are back. Getting hard is coming back.

• 1:09:01Speaker 03

  People wearing costumes is back.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  Come on, life is too short.

• 1:09:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's our, this thing is back of the week.

• 1:09:10Stavros Halkias?

  You say, we're called, this, this thing is back of the week.

• 1:09:13Speaker 03

  This is back.

• 1:09:13Stavros Halkias?

  Getting your dick hard on the, on the sidewalk.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  People's costumes.

• 1:09:16Stavros Halkias?

  Cause they have costumes.

• 1:09:18Speaker 03

  Big old timey costumes.

• 1:09:19Stavros Halkias?

  On that note, why don't we take some calls from our, our listeners here, buddy?

• 1:09:23Speaker 03

  Let's do it. Let's solve some problems.

• 1:09:24Stavros Halkias?

  Let's solve some motherfucking problems.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  And when do these come in?

• 1:09:28Stavros Halkias?

  Who got, who fucking knows, dude? Years ago, maybe at this point? Yeah, usually they're not older than four months before, before the episode was recorded. And then who knows when the episode comes out?

• 1:09:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, right, of course, yeah.

• 1:09:44Stavros Halkias?

  Some of these people are dead.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're cooked.

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, Eldis.

• 1:09:49Speaker 05

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nertac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

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• 1:10:49Speaker 06

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• 1:11:19Speaker 07

  Hey, Elvis, what's going on? Featured guest, what's going on? So, here's the thing.

• 1:11:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's coming out of your fucking computer again.

• 1:11:28Speaker 07

  I've been dating this girl for about a year and a half now. She's awesome, like, we have a great relationship.

• 1:11:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  He's buying sock and boppers online.

• 1:11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we heard sock and boppers loud.

• 1:11:39Speaker 03

  Smallest soccer bopper possible.

• 1:11:41Stavros Halkias?

  But God forbid the calls come in clearly. I think, anyway, let me put the volume up.

• 1:11:47Speaker 07

  We moved in together in January. Right now, it's August, so, you know, eight months, been going really well. But the thing is, she's kind of annoying as fuck. And I mean that it's like, like, I...

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Big problem.

• 1:12:01Speaker 07

  Sometimes I just need a little bit of space. She doesn't exactly know how to do that. And here's an example. Like, if I just talk about my friends for the night or whatever, if I'm not, like, responding to, like, a text message within, like, 20 minutes, I'll send her, like, a sad face. And, like, it's cute, but at the same time, it's like...

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 1:12:18Speaker 07

  Like, you know, like, it's just, it's just like, I don't want to be on my phone texting her, but at the same time, I feel bad not to answer, so it's like, fuck, like, I'm, like, you know, like, I'm playing into it a little bit, so it's kind of my fault as well. Even aside from that, like even like when we didn't live together, it was, you know, like we spent a whole weekend together because we need to see each other all week. Now we see each other every day, um, all week. And there are nights or like just other times where like maybe I want to play a video game or I want to do something outside with my girlfriend. And like, if I do, she's like, oh, come on, like, you don't want to hang out with me? And it's like, you know, like, of course I want to hang out with you, but else need time for me. So the thing is, my question for you is, uh, how do I bring this up in a nice way to like, I need a little bit of space?

• 1:13:02Speaker 07

  Cause I'm feeling a little bit smothered and it's kind of giving me chest pains now, Sally. So how do I bring this up in a nice way? So it doesn't become a fight and she still shows me as much affection as she does now.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hilarious.

• 1:13:14Speaker 07

  So that's where I'm at right now.

• 1:13:15Stavros Halkias?

  How does everything stay the same except my needs are met?

• 1:13:19Speaker 07

  Yeah. Feel a little bit smothered right now. I just want to bring it up in a nice way. Anyway, thanks you guys. You guys crack me the fuck up. Keep this shit going, please.

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Yeah, well, yeah, I think like you said, she is abusing him.

• 1:13:31Speaker 03

  It's abuse.

• 1:13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  This is like, like if, if, if it was a guy, you'd be like, what are you doing? You can't go anywhere. Where you, where are you? It's like, but then like with a woman, it's like, oh, she loves me so much. Like, ah, it's kind of cute.

• 1:13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean.

• 1:13:47Stavros Halkias?

  How long have they been together? Did he say?

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  A year and a half.

• 1:13:50Stavros Halkias?

  A year and a half.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  Sounds like they're living together now.

• 1:13:51Stavros Halkias?

  They've been living together the last half year or whatever, eight months or whatever the fuck he said.

• 1:13:55Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 1:13:55Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  I mean, right off the bat, I'm like, get out, get out of there. It seems like.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  Immediately.

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  It seems like, you know, maybe you met her at a time where you couldn't really, you didn't really know how to talk to girls. You didn't really know how to figure, like, you met somebody, you're like, oh, she's cute enough. She's great.

• 1:14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

• 1:14:13Speaker 03

  I like her. And then she's like clinging on and you're like, well, I haven't been able to find a better situation out there.

• 1:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  So I, this, this has got to be the best.

• 1:14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:23Speaker 03

  But she's turning on you.

• 1:14:24Stavros Halkias?

  There is this thing where, uh, you, it's, this guy might be a little insecure because this has happened to me in the past where like, I was insecure, so I would date women that made it really obvious they liked you to the point where they're the ones that text you constantly. And when you're fucking, you know, when you're two months in, you're like, does this girl even like me?

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:14:43Stavros Halkias?

  You want someone who's constantly checking in and gets mad if you don't text back. And then when you settle into a normal, the normal rhythms of a relationship. You realize, like, when your neuroses have faded.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:57Stavros Halkias?

  But you're like, well, I've attracted someone who, now that, now that this behavior is not, now that I'm sure she likes me, I'm annoyed at her, even though I kind of.

• 1:15:08Speaker 03

  Like.

• 1:15:09Stavros Halkias?

  Trained her.

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:11Stavros Halkias?

  Or like, I kind of set the standard of this relationship being, I'll text you whenever.

• 1:15:15Speaker 03

  Right, it's acceptable. This is a good way of communicating. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love you, you're so cute. Yeah, don't worry.

• 1:15:21Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, some people, you meet these fucking, fucking weird ass couples that like.

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:25Stavros Halkias?

  Really constantly talk to each other and are like locked in and it's like, you know, if it works for you, it works for you.

• 1:15:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Clearly, that, what I'm think, what it seems like to me is this motherfucker set this, this standard where this is acceptable. And now he's like, okay, actually, the, the thing I, you know, pretended to love about you, I think is fucking annoying.

• 1:15:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  So you gotta switch your whole shit up, you fucking bitch.

• 1:15:50Speaker 03

  That's gonna be tricky.

• 1:15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I'm trying to play battlefield.

• 1:15:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:15:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't wanna fucking hang out.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:55Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:15:56Speaker 03

  And you're stuck now.

• 1:15:57Stavros Halkias?

  And you're stuck. And, I don't know, I mean, has he even tried talking to her? Did he say anything, Aldous?

• 1:16:03Speaker 03

  He didn't say, he doesn't wanna hurt her feelings, he's too scared.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  So he's a coward.

• 1:16:07Speaker 03

  He's a coward.

• 1:16:08Stavros Halkias?

  So, which is tough.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  And he's letting her abuse him.

• 1:16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right, and he deserves it.

• 1:16:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, he really does.

• 1:16:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like those kids auditioning for All That 3.0.

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:16Stavros Halkias?

  He deserves what's coming to him.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  I've, I've been here, do not sing and dance for her. You're not gonna get what you want. You gotta do your own thing. I mean, you gotta, you gotta be like, this is a classic thing.

• 1:16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:16:32Speaker 03

  You move in and you're like, look, we gotta set some ground rules here.

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  And you just gotta, you gotta be like, I want to, well, I was gonna say like, I want to want you.

• 1:16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  But then that could hurt her feelings.

• 1:16:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I think it's the kind of thing where. These conversations, the rule is always like, you need to have these conversations as soon as possible. And you've already waited a little too long because you kind of set the ground rules for this relationship and she's behaving.

• 1:17:00Speaker 03

  And I think you should take ownership of that.

• 1:17:02Stavros Halkias?

  And so now.

• 1:17:03Speaker 03

  And not put it all on her.

• 1:17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. And it's like, and now she's gonna be fucking pissed. She's gonna be like either sad or mad. You are kind of bringing this out of nowhere because this is how you've related to her the whole time. But you have to be like, hey, I like, you know, I liked all this stuff. I definitely, I find it endearing. But now that it's like, we're here day to day. I see you all the time. I'm happy to do it, but like, I need a little. It was great when we weren't living together and I missed you constantly, but now it's like, I need a little. And you don't even have to say like explicitly, like, give me some, you just have to, you just have to be like, hey, Thursdays are my day that I do blank. Or you just kind of have to, because I think when you live together and you guys

• 1:17:44Stavros Halkias?

  probably would know better, definitely know better than me. I've literally never lived with a significant other. We got two married men on the pod. But I do feel like a lot of it does become about your routines and about your like, your regular life. And now that you've settled into normal life, you kind of have to figure out what your actual routines are. Because it's, when you're dating someone and you don't live in the same place, when you're, they're like sleeping over. It's like a, it's vacation vibes. It's not what your life is really like. Even if you spend four days in a row at somebody's apartment, whereas now it's like, you just need to carve out time for yourself and almost like put it on the fucking relationship calendar, I think.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  I think so too.

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  But you guys tell me, what are your, Aldous is over there chomping at the bit. I see you.

• 1:18:27Speaker 03

  Get in there.

• 1:18:28Speaker 04

  I mean, I kind of agree with Beck that this probably is just doomed like long term.

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  I mean, this is, this is kind of like.

• 1:18:38Speaker 03

  It's aggressive. Too aggressive.

• 1:18:43Stavros Halkias?

  Don't even try and have a conversation.

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  You can, I'm guessing.

• 1:18:48Stavros Halkias?

  You can, I wouldn't. I would run.

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  I've been in this situation before too, and it's like, this kind of is like a young person, young relationship kind of thing.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, that's fair.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  And it's like, it's like exactly what you said, stuff like the ground rules have not been set. And even what you just described, no matter how you word it, it will just kind of hurt the person's feelings.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  It will.

• 1:19:13Speaker 04

  Cause you're basically saying like, which is a very like male thing, but like, I like you and want to be around you. But you're basically saying like, I want to talk to you when I feel like talking to you, not like every single second or whatever, or that's just how it comes across.

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:31Stavros Halkias?

  But you, by the way, you have to hurt her feelings a little bit because you should have done this in the beginning and she should have chosen whether that's acceptable or not.

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  This is, I think this is.

• 1:19:41Stavros Halkias?

  And now your only option are, are hurt her feelings a little bit to a place that's acceptable for you and she can get over it and see that you're being reasonable, or it's too much, she doesn't want that kind of a relationship and you break up.

• 1:19:53Speaker 04

  I might just be a coward.

• 1:19:54Stavros Halkias?

  You are, first of all, yes, you are. You can tell, absolutely. That's true, but go ahead with the second part of your sentence.

• 1:20:00Speaker 04

  I might just be a coward, but I think like, this is such a basic thing, this is like an early vibe check, like in a relationship.

• 1:20:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like moved in too early.

• 1:20:09Speaker 04

  Moved in, but also like the person you're dating, you should be able to like sniff this out a lot.

• 1:20:13Stavros Halkias?

  You need to be compatible, you need to be compatible with how much you spend, like, you know, I've dated people where it's like, they want to hang out all the time. I've dated people where it's like, you cannot text them for weeks, they don't fucking give a fuck. Right? And it's like, um, and you're right, that's, people have to be on the same. Similar rhythms. Cause some people, yeah. The way you spend money, the way you like. There just has to be like phases that are similar. This is one of those fundamental things of like, yeah, there's people who like have different, like move in together, have different bedrooms and might not even fucking see each other in a day, but that's not weird to them. And I think you're right. I agree with you. Are the odds great?

• 1:20:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, but the, the only chance you have is re, is in a semi painful way, trying to reset the ground rules now that you've, and your chance was moving in together. Cause when you move in together, everything changes and you should have done it then, but. You know.

• 1:21:08Speaker 03

  I think setting some specific times is important, like this is when I do this, or I do this once a week. I may go out with my, my friends or like I play, this is when I play video games and like setting those times.

• 1:21:19Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:21:19Speaker 03

  And also talking about codependency.

• 1:21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:21Speaker 03

  As we all, it's a, it's a very buzzy word, but codependency kills relationships usually. And it's like, cause then you don't have two individuals. Like my therapist used to say something along the lines of like, if you have two people who are together, like if, if you're attracted to somebody, they need to not be you. They need to be somebody else.

• 1:21:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  But if you meld your lives to where like she is on top of you all the time, you're not going to be able to be attracted to that person.

• 1:21:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  Sex is going to go out the window, you're going to be bickering all the time. So like, I mean, I don't know, I like, I don't have the codependency, you know, stuff.

• 1:21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  All right there, but like, just look that up and be like.

• 1:21:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:58Speaker 03

  This is for the relationship. I don't want us to fall into this like glob of one being. We need to be our own selves. You figure out your times during the week, I'll figure out my times. But I think that's also important is like not just keeping it too loose.

• 1:22:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:22:11Speaker 03

  Like setting those times.

• 1:22:12Stavros Halkias?

  Especially with somebody like this, and also setting the times, it could be seen as a middle ground, if you are a coward, to not directly have the, oh, it's not that I don't want to be with you. It's just that during these times, I have to do X, X and X, which I think the middle ground is ultimately just delaying shit.

• 1:22:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:31Stavros Halkias?

  I think you have to say how you actually feel.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:34Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, you could try, you could just milk this for another couple of fucking, another year and a half.

• 1:22:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:39Stavros Halkias?

  This way, and then, and now, and now you have more, more skin in the game. It'll hurt more when it fucking is doomed, like Aldous says.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And then you, then it'll be too late to really have.

• 1:22:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:22:49Speaker 03

  A relationship, or maybe, I don't know, have kids or something like that.

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:22:53Speaker 03

  You know.

• 1:22:54Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, you're a man, it's probably easier for you. She's probably more fucked than you are.

• 1:22:58Speaker 03

  You can always have kids.

• 1:23:01Speaker 03

  You can never not have kids when you're a guy. Look at Al Pacino.

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. He's still nuttin' and whoever will let him.

• 1:23:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, respect.

• 1:23:12Stavros Halkias?

  Respect to Big Pacino.

• 1:23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, rip the Band-Aid off, set some time aside, bring up codependency.

• 1:23:18Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:23:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:20Stavros Halkias?

  Good luck.

• 1:23:20Speaker 03

  You're screwed.

• 1:23:21Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, Eldis, what else we got?

• 1:23:22Speaker 04

  Hold on, some, wait, something's fucked up here. What's going on?

• 1:23:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no, what the hell's going on? Holy shit, what? What the fuck? This is insane, is it? Oh my god. No, it's something even crazier. It's time to, it's time to keep it twisted. It's the motherfucking ass, twisted ass, fucked up question of the week. Brought to you by Twisted Tea. We know you're a fucked up guy, Beck.

• 1:23:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm twisted ass a little bit.

• 1:23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, look what Eldis has for us right here. Wow, Eldis.

• 1:23:55Speaker 03

  He nasty.

• 1:23:56Stavros Halkias?

  You are a fucked up guy, but I love when we keep it fucking twisted. All right, what's this week's fucked up ass, motherfucking question of the fucking week, Eldis?

• 1:24:10Speaker 08

  Hi, it's Javi, uh, uh, our potential esteemed guest. Uh, thank you for answering my call. Here's, here's my issue. Um, I, uh, am a physician in Atlanta and I have been for a while now. Before I was a physician in Atlanta, I was a music pastor in Birmingham in like 2015. I went to a Christian college, all that stuff and did all of that and, um, I got fired from that church for, you know, kind of being black, honestly. Not gonna lie, it was Birmingham, Alabama.

• 1:24:48Stavros Halkias?

  Can we just say on the record? That is not the kind of keeping it twisted we condone on the motherfucking ass, twisted ass question of the week. So let's just be on the record there, Twisted Tea does not like when people are fired for ra- for racial reasons.

• 1:25:05Speaker 03

  That's not fun twisted, that's bad twisted.

• 1:25:08Stavros Halkias?

  I feel safe saying that on behalf of the company. They are against racist firings. Keep going, Eldis.

• 1:25:14Speaker 03

  Gotta look out for the T.

• 1:25:16Speaker 08

  Emma, I could, I could give a whole separate call about that shit. But uh, since, since I've left the church, um, ultimately, I've, uh, kind of, kind of a liberal godless atheist now. Um, I, I'm doing okay in Atlanta, booking myself and things of that nature. But I still have a lot of friends who are in the church still, who get way more high paying gigs. And a lot of them think the same way I do. They just feel like, hey, let me just go in there and play, play for 25 minutes and get a really nice check.

• 1:25:55Speaker 08

  And there's a part of me that is like, do I just, do I just like pretend for Sundays? And get this check? Because I still can. I still have a way in to get these checks. But at the same time, I'm like, I don't believe any of this. I, I'm not here for any of this. I feel like it would be morally bad to do. But financially, I just had a baby. I got a wife. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I'm looking, I'm like, bro, I gotta, I gotta make, I gotta make money doing this music shit. And I don't know, do you think that I should, uh, pretend to love Jesus for Sundays?

• 1:26:39Speaker 08

  Or just fuck it and, uh, find, find other places to, to book gigs. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's my issue. Okay. Thank you.

• 1:26:49Stavros Halkias?

  Can I say really, really great, you know, Twisted Tea pays us. No minefields in this question. Just a, just a question about a black woman, a black lesbian who was fired for race reasons. Talking about faking Christianity for money. I'm sure our sponsors are thrilled with the twisted, fucked up question you chose. Something nice and easy that has no implications on our greater world whatsoever. It couldn't have been, hey, Stobbs, should I nut my girlfriend? I don't wanna have a kid, but it feels good. It couldn't have been something like that, could it, Eldis? In fact, Elders kept it too twisted.

• 1:27:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're the one, you're keeping it fucking too twisted with this producing, you fucking piece of shit.

• 1:27:35Speaker 03

  Damn dude.

• 1:27:36Stavros Halkias?

  You pull a bop it all of a sudden, you think you're fucking untouchable now.

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  I feel like we've done even more twisted questions than this. This doesn't seem like such a big deal.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, listen.

• 1:27:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, the question itself isn't too twisted, but the position it puts us in is twisted.

• 1:27:53Speaker 03

  We're getting twisted around here.

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  I say keep it fucking twisted. Look, you're afraid that, you're afraid to be a gay person in doing religious music in Atlanta? Have you ever seen a?

• 1:28:05Speaker 03

  Just because you don't want to fake.

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, but here's what I'm saying. Have you ever seen what choir directors in Atlanta look like? Have you ever seen a fucking like, the gayest guy you've ever seen in your life with a paisley bow tie?

• 1:28:18Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:28:18Stavros Halkias?

  Like talking about, I just haven't, well, I just haven't found the right woman yet. You know what I mean?

• 1:28:24Speaker 03

  I'm married to the Lord Jesus Christ.

• 1:28:27Stavros Halkias?

  Atlanta might be, there might be the highest per capita of closeted gay guys in charge of choirs in the world is in Atlanta.

• 1:28:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:36Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, who gives a fuck? And you know what?

• 1:28:39Speaker 03

  How many pastors, priests don't care about God or have lost their faith and are still doing it?

• 1:28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. It's a gig. It's a gig, baby.

• 1:28:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Sometimes you love it. Sometimes you hate it.

• 1:28:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:49Speaker 03

  And also, yeah, just go in there and make the money. Like it makes perfect sense. You were fired from the church.

• 1:28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  Because, because you believe because you were black.

• 1:28:58Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:28:58Speaker 03

  So like go in there and get the money and like you can still be atheist and just like, also like if you play well, that's what they.

• 1:29:05Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:29:06Speaker 03

  That's what they care about.

• 1:29:07Stavros Halkias?

  You're in, you're in Atlanta. Like depending on the city you're in as a musician, you have to do certain gigs. You think everybody in fucking New Orleans loves jazz? No, fat tourists want to hear, that's what they fucking want to hear. So you play fucking trombone or whatever. You don't love gospel, which by the way, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I don't believe, you know, I'm pretty atheist, whatever. I just don't, I just think we have no clue the reality. I mean, I think something's out there, but it ain't some fucking book that a guy, that a guy wrote 4,000, you know, whatever. I just don't think that's the case, but. Gospel music's fucking good sometimes.

• 1:29:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love gospel music.

• 1:29:46Stavros Halkias?

  Gospel music will fucking, I'll sometimes, that's af- af- after I saw Cam Newton do that workout video to gospel, sometimes I lift, I get fucking pumped to, and maybe it's the angels helping me hit PRs.

• 1:29:58Speaker 03

  It could be.

• 1:29:58Stavros Halkias?

  And in those moments, I guess that's the closest I get to being religious. So you could even say, little loophole for our sponsors here, are you faking it, or in those moments, are you religious?

• 1:30:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:09Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  That's how we connect to God through music.

• 1:30:10Stavros Halkias?

  You let the music come through you, and I'm just saying, you're exploring yourself. Let's not even say you're faking it. You're just happened to sign up for a high paying gig where you get to test your faith.

• 1:30:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Every time. You know what I mean?

• 1:30:24Speaker 03

  Just check your faith, just see how it feels. Boom.

• 1:30:26Stavros Halkias?

  Book those gigs. You got, you got fucking mouths to feed. And listen, if Jesus is real, he wants your baby to have a fucking, he want formula. You know what I mean?

• 1:30:36Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:30:37Stavros Halkias?

  And that, and you know, and by the way, as soon as your baby's 21 years old.

• 1:30:40Speaker 03

  Get more twisted tea.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  Crack open an ice cold twisted tea. Keep it twisted with your son or daughter, uh, whatever your, whoever your child is, when they grow up, they're gonna love the smooth flavor of twisted tea brewed with real iced tea back. I don't know if you know that.

• 1:30:57Speaker 03

  Oh, actually, yeah, I did know that.

• 1:30:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's actually real iced tea.

• 1:30:59Speaker 03

  But it's nice to hear it.

• 1:31:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:01Speaker 03

  It's a good reminder.

• 1:31:03Stavros Halkias?

  And just, you know, who gives a fuck? Keep it twisted. Sign up for any gig that can put food on the table.

• 1:31:09Speaker 03

  Get that money.

• 1:31:09Stavros Halkias?

  And, uh, we, you know, we don't even think you're particularly twisted. Eldis was the twisted one this week.

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  I think if we know anything from years of advertising on this show, it's that there's so much room for nuance in marketing.

• 1:31:25Speaker 03

  It really is. It really opens. Anything goes.

• 1:31:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's some of the most creative people you come across is podcast advertisers.

• 1:31:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, well, that was this week's fucked up ass.

• 1:31:37Speaker 03

  God, it was fucked up.

• 1:31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, dude. How are you fucking this up every time? That's me. That's you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. I was hoping it was you. We are try- listen. B-dub-dubs doesn't come calling. Twisted Tea, what the fucks is it gonna take to put me on a national fucking commercial? Come on, you guys, come on. What the fuck is it gonna take? Yeah, I can't put- are they putting other people on these commercials? Let me be the Twisted Tea guy. They have like sexy people having a good time drinking Twisted Teas. Dude, be perfect. Put- get me in there. Dude, you're a good time, you're a good vibe, you set the party. And come on, let's be honest. Twisted Tea. A lot more people that look like me are drinking Twisted Tea than- Right. -than Jack 6'2" fucking beautiful beige people of all ethnicities. Those people are alienating. Yeah.

• 1:32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, well, let's go back to some non-sponsored calls here. Let's help some people. Let's help some people out, man.

• 1:32:32Speaker 09

  Okay, I'm gonna try to speak faster because I ran out of time the last message that I sent. So, uh, to be quick about it. My dad was married to another woman before he married my mom, and he had two kids with her. They got divorced, he met my mom, he had with my mom my brother and I. So, I have two half-older brothers and a full brother. The entire time that my parents were together, forty some odd years, um, at the end of it when we're- they're trying to settle things, they tell us, "Hey, we don't want the half-brothers to essentially get any of the estate. We just want you guys have the estate, we created all of this while we had you, they don't get anything."

• 1:33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:33:15Speaker 09

  And keep in mind that my dad had sort of become estranged with my two other half-brothers.

• 1:33:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's cool. Your dad's just a piece of shit.

• 1:33:23Speaker 09

  So then, a couple of years ago-

• 1:33:25Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, hey, that was my practice family. They don't get a fucking dime! I made them, but like, I started making money after I had my kids.

• 1:33:34Speaker 03

  And so like my new kids get that.

• 1:33:37Stavros Halkias?

  You guys are good. Go ahead. Let's keep going.

• 1:33:41Speaker 09

  My mom passed away.

• 1:33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry to hear that.

• 1:33:43Speaker 09

  One of the good things that happened in this passing is that my half brothers reached out to my dad and have sort of rekindled this relationship. Sort of just being like, hey, why are we fighting?

• 1:33:52Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, here's our chance. Yeah.

• 1:33:54Speaker 09

  This rekindling has gone on and my dad has come up to me privately and has told no one else, hey, I would like to give your two half brothers after I die, ten thousand dollars each from this estate. Okay dad, it's your money. If that's what you want to do, cool. I go to my full brother and I ask him, hey, dad just talked to me, this is what he wants to do. My full brother says, whatever, it's his money. If he wants to give some of that money to our half brothers, great. So it's not about a greeting, this question.

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 1:34:27Speaker 09

  I talked to my wife about it. Hey, this is what my dad wants to do. He wants to give my two half brothers ten thousand dollars each after he goes.

• 1:34:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm confused.

• 1:34:38Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going.

• 1:34:39Speaker 09

  Half brothers, ten thousand dollars each after he goes. My wife has an issue with it in that she thinks it is besmirching my mom's last wishes. Because my mom's last wishes were, she was adamant, hey, this is an estate that I built for you boys, me and my other brother, my full brother, and it shouldn't be going to your half brothers. And at the time of my mom being alive, my dad was in agreement. So my wife is very much like, no, your mother's last, part of your mother's last wishes.

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck cares what your wife says? Keep going, sorry.

• 1:35:14Speaker 09

  All of this. So I don't know, stop being.

• 1:35:16Stavros Halkias?

  This is a better twisted question, by the way, you fucking asshole.

• 1:35:19Speaker 09

  Is it besmirching my mom's last wishes?

• 1:35:21Stavros Halkias?

  The first question afterwards is a better twisted question.

• 1:35:24Speaker 03

  It's so much more twisted.

• 1:35:25Speaker 09

  My half brothers, who my dad, since now he has rekindled the relationship, he wants them to have something too. Thanks man, I've been beating myself. And my dad's healthy, so it's not like he's going anywhere anytime soon. So that's not part of it.

• 1:35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we'll see. Maybe your fucking half brothers, as soon as that ink dries, they're, they're up, they're, they're across the street with a fucking sniper rifle.

• 1:35:45Speaker 03

  They're gonna be like, that's twenty thousand dollars between the two of us. If I kill him, then I kill you. I get plenty.

• 1:35:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's the fucking beginning of Dark Knight.

• 1:35:55Speaker 03

  These boys were left by their father. They are wolves. They are gonna fuck him. They're gonna get whatever they get.

• 1:36:00Stavros Halkias?

  These are feral wolves. You grew up with a family of love. They, all they knew was a deadbeat father.

• 1:36:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were the experiment.

• 1:36:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, here's the thing, dude. There's a lot of things that piss me off in this question. Your dad is a fucking asshole. He left his first family and just wasn't around at all? And you don't feel any fucking sympathy for these, any empathy for your bro? And I also, can we cool it with a half brother, full brother? I mean, it's like, you're not, you're not, it's not about your claim to the fucking British throne. You're some fucking guy who, your dad has like a hundred thou- $150,000 property in Jersey he's gonna divvy up. So let's fucking relax. Also, what's the percentages here? 10 grand of the estate? I'm guessing you're getting more than 10 grand? Like, 10 grand is not that much fucking money.

• 1:36:49Speaker 03

  That's like a little piece of it. I bet they're each getting over, around 100.

• 1:36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows, right? He gives us no indication, right?

• 1:36:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:36:59Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't even say what this is compared, what this compares to. So, okay. Sorry Beck, I'm just in the zone. This pissed me off.

• 1:37:08Speaker 03

  No, I love to see you, I love to see you get twisted.

• 1:37:11Stavros Halkias?

  I'm getting fucking twisted, actually, again. This was a better fucking choice, you fucking idiot eldest.

• 1:37:16Speaker 04

  We'll give him a little kickback on a couple extra drops on this one, if the first one was too morally dicey for them.

• 1:37:24Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it's like, anyway, whatever. So, that's, that's number one, right? Your dad, these are people that your dad, I mean, unless we're missing something, you said they're estranged. Ostensibly, your father was a deadbeat here, right? Which is fucked. Now, if he wasn't and he supported them in some other way, whatever, that's fine, but...

• 1:37:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe there was something with him and his ex-wife. Maybe she pushed him out. Maybe they, she was toxic. And she talked to her sons about how awful he was. They hated him.

• 1:37:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's possible, it's possible. And so the second thing is, look, your mom passed away. Sorry about that, that sucks. Having said that, in these situations... From what I'm reading here, she's holding a grudge against these kids who's it's not their fault. Her husband nutted in his ex-wife or even whatever girlfriend had kids that to her is a reminder of his last relationship. And she's like, we're freezing them the fuck out. To me, that's kind of a cruel stance on behalf of your mom. Unless we're missing something again, that we might be, but like whenever somebody takes out their clear like kinda

• 1:38:30Stavros Halkias?

  hatred on the previous relationship that their, you know, partner was in on the kid, like the kids are fucking innocent in this. And they deserve a little something again, especially if your dad fucking abandoned them, they deserve a little piece, right? So it seems like to me, your mom's wishes were coming from a fucked up place of like

• 1:38:50Speaker 03

  Vengeance.

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  Like vengeance on.

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  And like, maybe, maybe your dad, I don't know what is, what he's like, but he's probably just like, yeah, okay. And then now that she's gone, he's like, that part of him is like, oh, man, like, I'm gonna die and my children, I'm gonna leave them nothing.

• 1:39:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:39:04Speaker 03

  It seems like the 10 grand, he's not, you didn't even say like 10%.

• 1:39:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 1:39:09Speaker 03

  So like 10 grand to me is like, it's just a little something. So they'd be like, yeah, my dad left me a little money.

• 1:39:13Stavros Halkias?

  A token.

• 1:39:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like.

• 1:39:14Stavros Halkias?

  I might even be pissed.

• 1:39:16Speaker 03

  It's just like a little something. It's like, honestly, you want that.

• 1:39:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:20Speaker 03

  Cause you're gonna have to, if like your wife and she's like, all this shit with money and families, I've seen it a lot in other families and my family.

• 1:39:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:29Speaker 03

  It gets fucked up. Yeah. Like just let go of the anger, whatever anger is happening, like just, just let it go and just get, move on as much as possible. 10 grand, like you're gonna have to hold on to that for the rest of your life that you like, didn't, like got in the way of your dad trying to leave his kids a little bit of money.

• 1:39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:49Speaker 03

  A little bit more. No, I guess it's so that they don't besmirch their mom.

• 1:39:53Stavros Halkias?

  The principle of their mom, which, and by the way.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  It's your dad's money too.

• 1:39:56Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:39:57Speaker 03

  He's, he's trying, he's living up to her wishes and like, just give him a bit.

• 1:40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Especially if you get a ton, way more of it. And then the third thing that pisses me off is like, I know it's your wife, but shut the fuck up.

• 1:40:09Speaker 03

  This is not your family.

• 1:40:10Stavros Halkias?

  Not about you.

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  It's not about you.

• 1:40:11Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I know you, you married into a family and you're, you know, a couple, obviously she has an opinion, but. Clearly, she's projecting. Now, again, these are all my reads, right?

• 1:40:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:22Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe I'm projecting my own stuff on here. To me, this feels like, well, if you would disrespect your mom's memory, what happens if we were in a similar situation? I die, you're not gonna respect my memory?

• 1:40:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:40:32Stavros Halkias?

  To me, it feels like she's getting involved for personal reasons. And maybe I'm just fucking projecting onto this, but it's just a very like, shut, shut the fuck up here. And, and I really come back to the basic, let's throw out everybody's wishes, let's just look at how this thing goes. You have a family where the guy leaves, kind of abandons his kids and puts a lot more love and care into his second family. I think the first one deserves more. You got, you already got,

• 1:41:02Speaker 03

  You got the father.

• 1:41:02Stavros Halkias?

  You already got the good parts of that.

• 1:41:05Speaker 03

  Throughout your life.

• 1:41:05Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. You, if anything, they deserve the money. You were raised by your fucking father and, you know, like, I would flip who fucking deserves the money. Again, maybe we're missing stuff, but anyway, that's my take on it. It's fucked up for you to be like, in terms of ultimate justice, they deserve a little, this is not even, you know, a real fucking token of anything.

• 1:41:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:27Stavros Halkias?

  And, you know, I think it's a, it's a positive for children to reconnect with their parents.

• 1:41:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Stavros Halkias?

  And even if like, a ghost is mad. Like, what is really the downside? Your mom's like, "Fuck you for giving them $20,000."

• 1:41:46Speaker 03

  You can deal with a spooky fuck, yeah.

• 1:41:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, have a fuck.

• 1:41:48Speaker 03

  Because like, apologies and reconnecting are so powerful. Like, if she saw her husband reconnect with his kids, her, like, it can just like melt away so much anger so quickly.

• 1:42:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally, who knows?

• 1:42:01Speaker 03

  Oh, this is so beautiful. I can't believe I was holding on to that anger for so long. Of course.

• 1:42:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but.

• 1:42:06Speaker 03

  So, give them the money, for sure. Tell your wife to have a little bit of empathy.

• 1:42:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, tell her to shove it.

• 1:42:13Speaker 04

  This reminds me of something my uncle told me in the car when we were driving.

• 1:42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 1:42:17Speaker 04

  And I was, I was wondering if Red Pill Sula would decide to say this quote. Go ahead. You know, whether you're talking about the dead mom or the caller's wife, it's like my uncle said, "When brides enter the family, they rot the family from within."

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:42:32Speaker 04

  They rip apart the siblings and they only cause problems between the in-laws and everything. And I think that's like the takeaway we can all agree on here. And Twisted Tea as well.

• 1:42:47Stavros Halkias?

  That's too, that's too, in Albania, what passes for normal is very twisted in America, Eldis. You cannot, you cannot out, look, hint around misogyny, but don't outwardly say it. And by the way, that is literally advice that Eldis' uncle gave him in Albania.

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  That's fucking incredible.

• 1:43:05Stavros Halkias?

  That is an actual conversation that he had. I think when you were about to get married, right?

• 1:43:11Speaker 04

  No, this was, this was before I was gonna get married. It was like 2013.

• 1:43:14Stavros Halkias?

  That was just general advice.

• 1:43:16Speaker 03

  Every woman who marries into a family rips it apart from the inside. All women are witches. Yeah, okay.

• 1:43:25Speaker 04

  Real quick, I had one of my other uncle's friends, you know, in Albania, like the old people have pretty sick lives because they're like retired, they got their pensions, they're just drinking like coffee all day.

• 1:43:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:35Speaker 04

  I was out with my uncle one morning and a bunch of his retired buddies and one of them like was looking at me. And you know, I'm just like a shit American.

• 1:43:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're some fat American piece of shit.

• 1:43:44Speaker 04

  I'm fat, like, you know, they're just judging me. And this guy looks at me, he's like, "A man should only ever show his wife what's down here, never up here."

• 1:43:53Speaker 04

  That was some other little safety wisdom I received on another trip there.

• 1:43:58Speaker 03

  What does that even mean? Like, I was just showing them your penis, but don't show them your mind.

• 1:44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Don't show them what you're thinking. It's not, it's not up to them. They don't need to know that.

• 1:44:05Speaker 03

  Don't let them, okay, yeah.

• 1:44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Would you show your dog your tax returns?

• 1:44:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:44:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, it can't, it can't make any sense of it. So a woman can't, you can't show her complex thought.

• 1:44:15Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 1:44:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's the Albanian way of thinking, not mine. I'd like to say, I'd like to put that on record, the, the Greeks are somehow less misogynistic than Albanians.

• 1:44:24Speaker 03

  Somehow it worked out that way.

• 1:44:27Stavros Halkias?

  And you wonder why the country's a fucking backwater still. You wonder why Albania can't get it.

• 1:44:32Speaker 04

  It's a young country, but we are coming up.

• 1:44:34Speaker 03

  You guys are coming up. That's the way you guys think of it. We're coming up.

• 1:44:37Speaker 04

  We are coming up.

• 1:44:38Speaker 03

  We're just, it's kind of like, you know, the whole sleeping giant thing with China. We're just like, don't mess with Albania.

• 1:44:45Speaker 04

  Greece has been sliding down for 5,000 years now.

• 1:44:48Stavros Halkias?

  Relax. You're fu, you got nothing.

• 1:44:50Speaker 04

  Albania's passing them on the escalator.

• 1:44:52Stavros Halkias?

  No chance are you passing shit, you fucking motherfucker.

• 1:44:54Speaker 04

  We'll see.

• 1:44:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're not passing shit.

• 1:44:56Speaker 03

  We'll see.

• 1:44:58Stavros Halkias?

  Well, how did you, what did your wife, hey, remember when you, you took your wife to Albania and Greece in quick succession? Which country did she like more? Which country?

• 1:45:06Speaker 04

  Greece has nice beaches. That is, that has nothing to do with the culture.

• 1:45:11Speaker 03

  You know what? I love Albanian food.

• 1:45:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's my favorite. I love going to a nice Albanian restaurant.

• 1:45:21Stavros Halkias?

  Play us a couple more before we send our pal Beck home.

• 1:45:27Speaker 05

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• 1:46:13Speaker 05

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• 1:46:56Stavros Halkias?

  Is it fun?

• 1:46:57Speaker 11

  Tough, eldest guest. Thank you so much for all you do for the community.

• 1:47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:47:01Speaker 11

  Looking for some advice? My question is simple. My wife and I are having our first child in the new year.

• 1:47:06Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, dude.

• 1:47:06Speaker 11

  A baby boy. I'm a cut man myself, but have strong feelings about leaving the baby uncut. As nature intended.

• 1:47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:47:15Speaker 11

  My wife feels very strongly the other way. She wants a cut child. For context, her mom is a nurse, so she's a ton of old people getting circumcisions because they can't clean their teeth properly anymore. So she thinks of it more as a hygiene issue. Which, to be fair, listening to eldest over the years, that doesn't really help my case. Um, but what can I do to convince my wife to leave our baby uncut? She wasn't very receptive to this conversation previously. Anytime I feel like I'm making points, have her on the ropes. She gives me the, I'm making this child and I don't want to talk about this anymore.

• 1:47:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, brother.

• 1:47:49Speaker 11

  So kind of a loss here. Help a brother out. Let me save my poor baby's foreskin.

• 1:47:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:47:54Speaker 11

  Um, and if Ian Finance is on this episode, just have him put this one out.

• 1:47:58Stavros Halkias?

  He's not. He's not. Wait, so he is uncut? He's on, he's clipped, but he doesn't want, he doesn't want his son to go through that kind of pain the moment he's a fuck, he's in the world. He doesn't want to welcome his son three days into his life with a knife to the cock. Yeah. But his barbaric wife, on the other hand, wants to mutilate her son as soon as he can fuck it. As soon as he's even barely sentient. Wants to get the upper hand on him. Yep, exactly. She wants to mark him.

• 1:48:28Speaker 04

  Let me refer to my uncle's wisdom that I just passed on moments ago.

• 1:48:32Speaker 03

  This is just the first step in ripping your family apart to...

• 1:48:37Stavros Halkias?

  It starts with your son's cock.

• 1:48:40Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows where it ends, brother?

• 1:48:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:42Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows where it ends? Uh, next thing you know, she doesn't want to give your half brother $10,000 of your million dollar inheritance.

• 1:48:50Speaker 03

  She's gonna be going after the penis of everybody in your family.

• 1:48:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:53Speaker 03

  She's like, I'm a nurse, I'm a nurse!

• 1:48:56Speaker 03

  Cutting your dad's penis, I'm saving his life!

• 1:49:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:02Stavros Halkias?

  We are staunchly, staunchly anti-circumcision on this podcast as two uncut warriors. Um, and I just think, you know, I don't know what to tell you. This is fucking, you know, you can't, you can't clip a kid, it's fucked up, his dick will be fine. Uh, this whole, this whole clean, it's, it's a hygiene thing propaganda that the fucking, that the West has started, sickens me. It's natural to have your fucking dick look like that. And that's really all there is to it. Do you want to cut? Truly, do you want to put a knife to a baby's penis as soon as it's born? That doesn't seem fucked up to you for real? That's really my whole argument. I don't need more than that.

• 1:49:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:49:46Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure you're a clipped man.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  I'm a clipped man.

• 1:49:48Stavros Halkias?

  Now, obviously, I'm on the record, I do have a bit of a tight foreskin. Elvis is like a loose sock. We've said that. He has no cleanliness problems.

• 1:49:56Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:49:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, you just have to, I think it's noble, it is, it is a scary thing to break with tradition with all you know, what your father and his, his father have done, which is, you know, clip their penis.

• 1:50:10Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, when did that start in America? I bet you, you know, like, when did really it take off? I bet you it's not even that long.

• 1:50:16Speaker 03

  I don't think it's probably.

• 1:50:16Stavros Halkias?

  I bet you it's like three generations tops.

• 1:50:19Speaker 04

  But, but it's, but it's so like, it's so like prevalent that it is like scary and hard. It's like, this is a lifelong decision, which even though it is like a barbaric practice.

• 1:50:28Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 1:50:28Speaker 04

  It's just scary to deviate from that, so I get it, but.

• 1:50:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you're a sheep, who wants to, who wants to harm your baby three days into life?

• 1:50:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really.

• 1:50:37Speaker 04

  But it's noble to not do it.

• 1:50:39Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 1:50:40Speaker 04

  To open your eyes and.

• 1:50:42Stavros Halkias?

  Open your eyes to the truth.

• 1:50:43Speaker 04

  Open your eyes to the truth, and I think, and I think like, you know, it's your duty as the father.

• 1:50:49Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:50:49Speaker 04

  To learn how you're supposed to clean a circumcised penis.

• 1:50:53Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:50:53Speaker 04

  To like, hold your.

• 1:50:54Stavros Halkias?

  An uncircumcised.

• 1:50:55Speaker 04

  An uncircumcised penis, to like, teach your son to pass that on, to do the research that you need.

• 1:51:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's so many things that you have to explain to your kids.

• 1:51:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:04Speaker 03

  So many things you have to clean, and it's like, it's just, it's a thing at first before you have a kid, but then it's just like, it's whatever.

• 1:51:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:11Speaker 03

  It's not gonna get in the way. I mean, I would also say, on the other hand.

• 1:51:16Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. Play devil's advocate.

• 1:51:18Speaker 03

  It doesn't fucking matter.

• 1:51:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:21Speaker 03

  It really doesn't matter.

• 1:51:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:51:23Speaker 03

  Like, so, like, I don't remember my penis getting cut. I, I, I don't.

• 1:51:28Stavros Halkias?

  You think you don't.

• 1:51:29Speaker 03

  I think you don't. I mean, it's honestly.

• 1:51:30Stavros Halkias?

  When you wake up in a cold sweat.

• 1:51:32Speaker 03

  It's.

• 1:51:32Stavros Halkias?

  Ah!

• 1:51:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. I do do that. My penis is burning, but.

• 1:51:40Speaker 03

  I mean, if anything, it's gonna be the most, what I would say is regardless of if you do go through with it and you don't want it, your wife wants it, just be careful for the time after because it is gonna be hard for you if you don't want it and she does.

• 1:51:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:51:54Speaker 03

  It's stressful. Maybe not if you're pediatrician or you're, um, whatever, the OBGYN does do it right away when they come out screaming and it's really intense, whatever. But, uh, yeah, I would, I would honestly say it doesn't matter.

• 1:52:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like, yeah.

• 1:52:11Speaker 03

  It's like you can't, you can't, you know, relate anything, uh, behavior or development to circumcising or not. And like, I think it's, eh, it doesn't really matter.

• 1:52:23Stavros Halkias?

  I think it doesn't.

• 1:52:24Speaker 03

  And it's like, there's not really proof that like, like it's, it's super, it's, there's no, I don't think there's proof that it's harmful or helpful. You know, it's just kind of a thing and it's like.

• 1:52:33Stavros Halkias?

  Which is why, uh, that's, you know, we obviously, you know, we love to joke about how important it is to be on circumcision, but ultimately it comes down to for real, for me, it's like, I agree with you, it probably doesn't matter. So why take a knife to a baby's cock? The tiebreaker is you don't have to slice a part of a baby's cock off as soon as it's born. That's what I would tell your fucking dumb bitch wife.

• 1:52:58Speaker 03

  Tell it to her like that. I would say.

• 1:53:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:53:07Speaker 03

  I would say the most important thing is to make sure it doesn't get in the way of your relationship early on.

• 1:53:12Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:53:13Speaker 03

  So like if she wins.

• 1:53:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right, just let it go. That's fair, that's actually great advice, yeah. But don't let her win, man. If you love your son, don't let her win, fight her tooth and nail to the, to the end.

• 1:53:23Speaker 03

  Get a little chastity belt on that kid right away. Slips out, put the metal belt right on. Keep it on for two weeks and then it'll be too late.

• 1:53:33Stavros Halkias?

  You got something fun for us to go out on here, little eldest?

• 1:53:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know we've covered a lot of controversial topics in these questions, so I wanna end on a hopeful note. This is a response to a question from the Josh Johnson episode, uh, about the guy who called in and said he knocked up a woman in France while he was on his vacation.

• 1:53:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:53:52Speaker 04

  So this is another caller who just wanted to.

• 1:53:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, a different caller, it's not him, okay. I was really hoping it'd be the guy and he's like, psych, she's not pregnant.

• 1:54:01Speaker 04

  He's probably still, he probably still doesn't know what the fuck to do, but here we go.

• 1:54:06Speaker 12

  Hey Stabby, um, I guess the reason I was calling is because I listened to last week's episode with Josh Johnson and there was a caller that called in because he impregnated a woman in France.

• 1:54:24Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:54:25Speaker 12

  I just, for some reason, felt compelled to call in regards to that caller. I guess maybe because I have two boys, two kids myself. And one piece of advice that I absolutely feel like I needed to tell this, this man was if nothing else, maybe he never is a part of this child's life, but absolutely, I highly recommend try to be there for the birth of that child.

• 1:55:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:55:01Speaker 12

  You might be questioning what to do for the rest of this child's life and, you know, paying child support and whatever, but everything will make sense. I guarantee it. You are given a gift here.

• 1:55:18Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:55:19Speaker 12

  Everything will make sense when you see that child born.

• 1:55:21Stavros Halkias?

  No it won't.

• 1:55:22Speaker 03

  Wrong.

• 1:55:23Speaker 12

  As a man who watched the birth of two little people.

• 1:55:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, because you're in love with your wife.

• 1:55:29Speaker 12

  I would say definitely be there for that.

• 1:55:31Stavros Halkias?

  Says he watched some lady fuck it once.

• 1:55:35Speaker 03

  That would be a confusing, awful experience for everybody. It's like, you know what I'm like?

• 1:55:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking horrible.

• 1:55:41Speaker 03

  You're like, not supposed to be somewhere like you should like.

• 1:55:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:45Speaker 03

  You're like, I'm trying to think of a good situation.

• 1:55:47Stavros Halkias?

  You get to a party too early and it's just, and you don't really know the guy.

• 1:55:51Speaker 03

  Or like you find out people are hanging out and you're like, oh, they're like, oh yeah, you can come too. And you're like, oh, you got, this was like planned and I was definitely not invited.

• 1:55:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:55:59Speaker 03

  Oh, man, I should be, uh, and you like try to get out, but then you don't want to make it weirder.

• 1:56:03Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 1:56:04Speaker 03

  It's like, it's kind of, that's what it feels like.

• 1:56:06Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Yeah, I mean, this is maybe the worst advice I've ever heard in my life is, he's like, even if you're not around for the kid's life, be there for the birth? What?

• 1:56:15Speaker 03

  Find out where the baby's being born.

• 1:56:17Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't know this.

• 1:56:18Speaker 03

  Surprise the lady.

• 1:56:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's a one night stand. Like, it was a magical moment for you because it's about you and your wife. Or the girl, like, he says, he's had two kids, right? Like, it's not about.

• 1:56:28Speaker 03

  You're starting a family together and it's like, it's just a lot.

• 1:56:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's a beautiful symbolic moment, I would guess. I mean, you've experienced it, like, like, I also know guys who are like, straight up, like, I don't feel the connect, like moms.

• 1:56:40Speaker 03

  You don't feel the connection until like, a year and a half sometimes.

• 1:56:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, like, it takes.

• 1:56:44Speaker 03

  There are moments where you feel it, but yeah, it's, like, when they're born, it's like, it's kind of not.

• 1:56:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, as a dude, it's like, even my brother who wanted a kid more than anything, he was like, obviously I loved it and I was happy, but it was like, at first it's just a crying.

• 1:56:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're like, is it okay?

• 1:57:00Stavros Halkias?

  Little lump that doesn't look like anything, that fucking destroys your sleep, that just, you know, just caused insane pain to the person you love the most.

• 1:57:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Just fucked your wife up.

• 1:57:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57:12Stavros Halkias?

  And like, and it takes a couple of months, once they start like, kind of smiling a little bit, like, first they can't see shit, like, this is not what this guy needs to do at all. This is maybe the worst advice I've ever heard in my life.

• 1:57:24Speaker 03

  I don't know, I mean, I'm sure this, he impregnated this woman, this, what, recently?

• 1:57:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:29Speaker 03

  Like, if she didn't want to have the baby, she probably could have.

• 1:57:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she could have figured something out.

• 1:57:35Speaker 03

  She could have taken a pill, she, afterwards, she could have figured it out. I, I mean, it's up to her to have the baby if she wants to.

• 1:57:44Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:57:45Speaker 03

  And if she hasn't been in touch, then she probably doesn't want him around.

• 1:57:48Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I think she has, the, the, the call was basically like, he did hit this guy up and he's like, and he's like, what the fuck do I do? He's like, do I move to, and it's like, look, either way, like, we gave this guy advice already, and this guy's giving completely different advice that is truly, truly horrendous advice.

• 1:58:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:58:05Stavros Halkias?

  That like,

• 1:58:06Speaker 03

  That's not a way to start a life with somebody.

• 1:58:09Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:58:10Speaker 03

  You don't want to, yeah.

• 1:58:11Stavros Halkias?

  Like, listen, if this guy ended up moving to France, if he ended up staying in contact with her, that's one thing, but like, He's like, I'm, it's such, I have a hard time because this guy started being like, "Look, even if you're not in the kid's life, go to the birth." That's insane.

• 1:58:25Speaker 03

  That's insane.

• 1:58:26Stavros Halkias?

  Because first of all, it's way more important to support this woman and the kid financially.

• 1:58:32Speaker 03

  Like send some money every now and then if you can.

• 1:58:34Stavros Halkias?

  Than to attend to the, that's the most symbolic bullshit I've ever heard in my fucking life. That's not how the world works at all.

• 1:58:41Speaker 03

  Being that guy and being like, telling that story, like maybe like, "Yeah, so I'm pregnant with this woman in France." And then I was like, "No, I'm not gonna be in their lives, but I went back for the birth."

• 1:58:50Stavros Halkias?

  But I went back for the birth and it was like so magical.

• 1:58:52Speaker 03

  And now I like totally, yeah.

• 1:58:53Stavros Halkias?

  And I get like life and like everything and I don't, I mean, I've never seen her. I mean, also it's so funny because it's like, this is a guy hooked up with this woman once. Like he, if they didn't tell him, like, I don't even know if he'd be able to find the fucking room. Like he'd be like, "I think that's the girl I fucked."

• 1:59:12Speaker 03

  Are you the girl that I fucked?

• 1:59:13Stavros Halkias?

  She's not wearing makeup. She looks kind of fat and busted right now. Like he would not, it's just this, that's hilarious advice to give this guy. I mean, it just couldn't be more wrong in my opinion.

• 1:59:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:59:26Stavros Halkias?

  Because like the act of the birth is not that, it's like people really love symbolism. And it's like, sometimes it's just a fucking weird fucked up, "Were you there?" I mean, you were, you were in the room. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:59:38Speaker 03

  I mean, it was, it was powerful, but um, it was, there was a lot of intense stuff going on. Like this, like, we had this music playing and a song came on that was like oddly serendipitous.

• 1:59:51Stavros Halkias?

  Master of puppets. Master, master.

• 1:59:57Speaker 03

  Everything aligns.

• 2:00:02Speaker 03

  Because we were like, "We're the puppet masters."

• 2:00:03Stavros Halkias?

  We're the puppet masters, we're the little puppet.

• 2:00:05Speaker 03

  All connected. We saw Gob the first time.

• 2:00:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 2:00:09Speaker 03

  But like he put him on a little table and he's like.

• 2:00:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:14Speaker 03

  And then like, you know, it's, it's just a lot. And then they kind of like, they're wrapping stuff up and they're cleaning the floor and they're like, you got an hour until we move you to the next ward and like, try to eat some food. It's just like, you're exhausted. It's not.

• 2:00:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it seems way more, I mean, giving birth is, is still really dangerous, like, very dangerous. for a person and it's like, even in, like, it seems so much more about getting through it healthy.

• 2:00:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:00:40Stavros Halkias?

  Like, making sure the kids are right, making sure, it's like, let,

• 2:00:43Speaker 03

  and let her have that moment with her baby, like, if she's keeping, you know, and it's like,

• 2:00:48Stavros Halkias?

  you might not be in their life.

• 2:00:49Speaker 03

  She doesn't want you there.

• 2:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you know, okay.

• 2:00:51Speaker 03

  She doesn't want you to be a part of this moment.

• 2:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what it's like? It's like, at a wedding, when like, the youngest sibling in a family brings their shitty boyfriend that they're gonna break up with in two months.

• 2:01:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:01:03Stavros Halkias?

  And he's in all the fucking pictures.

• 2:01:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:01:05Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:07Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 2:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  He's not even, he didn't wear a real suit, he's wearing like, a fucking, you know, like a skinny tie and like, a shitty, a shitty jacket.

• 2:01:15Speaker 03

  Ruining every memory.

• 2:01:16Stavros Halkias?

  Every memory.

• 2:01:17Speaker 03

  I love her!

• 2:01:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like, what it would be like if you abandoned these people but were at the birth. She would be like, god, that was fucking weird.

• 2:01:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, you would ruin it.

• 2:01:27Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, um, I really read that differently than you, Eldis. You said it was a hopeful note. I thought it was really, again, you're really off this episode in terms of your instincts have been pretty atrocious.

• 2:01:38Speaker 03

  That's sort of like, a guy, I hope, I mean, that's sort of, that's sort of misguided morality.

• 2:01:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 2:01:45Speaker 03

  Bumps me up more than anything.

• 2:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 2:01:47Speaker 03

  You know, just.

• 2:01:48Stavros Halkias?

  Don't work hard at it and reconcile these difficult feelings.

• 2:01:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:01:52Stavros Halkias?

  Just, just be there and it'll all go away.

• 2:01:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:01:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, no, it won't.

• 2:01:57Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 2:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, maybe well if he's fucking stu-, as stupid as you are.

• 2:02:00Speaker 03

  It's almost like, that's, almost kind of feels like the advice of, if the rel-, your relationship is having problems because you haven't had a baby.

• 2:02:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:07Speaker 03

  Have a baby. And then have another one. Every time you have problems, have another baby and see that baby. It'll bring you together. Solve your problems. No, no.

• 2:02:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck. Really? Anyway, great stuff, Eldis. Bang up producing job.

• 2:02:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, fantastic work.

• 2:02:25Stavros Halkias?

  You started off so, that's the problem. You came out of the gate with sock and boppers in a way that you truly have never been proactive. And then you've been, you rested on those laurels. We gave you such a nice compliment on that, that you, you really pitched the, maybe, you were maybe like one in five for the calls.

• 2:02:40Speaker 04

  I did anti my usual thing. I set the bar too high.

• 2:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  You did.

• 2:02:43Speaker 04

  Too early on.

• 2:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 2:02:45Speaker 04

  Really left myself no mark.

• 2:02:46Speaker 03

  And you coasted.

• 2:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  And we, like, you did so bad, we even commented on the fact that you somehow fucked up the twisted T-song on the way out. You fucked those buttons up. I could see that.

• 2:02:57Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:02:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're struggling button-wise recently.

• 2:03:00Speaker 04

  Uh, I fucked the loop up.

• 2:03:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you didn't hear the dog.

• 2:03:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you didn't hear the dog. It's been going this whole time. That's fine, though. We couldn't do anything about it.

• 2:03:09Speaker 03

  But it seems like that's one out, one out of five. Is that, that's pretty good for you?

• 2:03:13Speaker 04

  He's done worse before.

• 2:03:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, for sure. He's had, he's definitely had way worse episodes, both technically and there have been some episodes where I'm like embarrassed to the guest. I'm like, we're answering the same shitty question four times in a row.

• 2:03:26Speaker 03

  But he's not embarrassed. He's the last person who's embarrassed.

• 2:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. That's, that's his greatest strength.

• 2:03:29Speaker 04

  I can't be.

• 2:03:30Stavros Halkias?

  He can't be embarrassed.

• 2:03:32Speaker 04

  If I feel the embarrassment, I'll stop dead in my tracks.

• 2:03:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, no. Eld, that's the beauty of him. It's like, it is just like having, he's the podcast equivalent of like an ox in the field. He's just going, he's plowing through. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Chewing a little cud.

• 2:03:46Speaker 03

  Like, that's what you need. That's like, to do a podcast, a little brain damage.

• 2:03:50Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 2:03:51Speaker 03

  Plowing through.

• 2:03:52Speaker 04

  Unlike the Simpsons episode where Homer was a boxer. It's like, I can give you 14 rounds if you want.

• 2:03:57Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. That is the best, that's the best analogy for your talents as a podcast producer. You'll never be knocked out. You'll never be good, but you'll never be locked out.

• 2:04:09Speaker 03

  That's impressive. Know your strengths.

• 2:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah. Yeah. Give yourself a little applause at the end there, Aldous. Beck, thank you so much for coming, man. This was a great, it was great having you. Listen to the pod, guys. It's out now. There's an episode. They've got bank, they got 14 bank.

• 2:04:24Speaker 03

  We've got 14 banks. They're coming out.

• 2:04:26Stavros Halkias?

  By now, who knows?

• 2:04:26Speaker 03

  We got Meg Stalter coming out soon.

• 2:04:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Meg's the best.

• 2:04:29Speaker 03

  She's so funny. She really ripped us apart.

• 2:04:31Stavros Halkias?

  Good.

• 2:04:32Speaker 03

  She was fucking with us in a way where I was like, wait, what? Oh, no.

• 2:04:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:04:36Speaker 03

  Sorry, wait.

• 2:04:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, she's the best. She's so fucking funny. And that episode will probably be out weeks before this one.

• 2:04:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's gonna be out.

• 2:04:45Stavros Halkias?

  Check out Meg Stalter on the podcast. It happened like a month ago, probably.

• 2:04:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like mid-November right now. You know what I'm saying?

• 2:04:51Speaker 03

  Right, right. We got new episodes coming back, coming out soon. By the time you listen to this, I will have taken Savvy's advice.

• 2:04:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 2:04:57Speaker 03

  And implemented it and just not watching the edits anymore.

• 2:05:00Stavros Halkias?

  It'll be, it'll be a worse podcast, but it'll go down smooth.

• 2:05:04Speaker 03

  It'll be easier, yeah.

• 2:05:04Stavros Halkias?

  It'll go down smooth, brother. That's all you want. Thanks, guys. We will talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

• 2:05:22Speaker 05

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So, when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes.

• 2:06:08Speaker 05

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• 2:06:21Speaker 13

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