Bonus #152 - Tommy Sinbazo (Halloween Special) [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld In a galaxy far, far away (the Baltimore HQ of Stavvy Baby Enterprises), Baltimore's finest Tommy Sinbazo returns to the pod for a special Halloween edition to tout his expertly crafted Mandalorian helmet and droids, reminisce on violent white trash candy spats from the Halloweens of his youth, talk about being engaged since he first met Stav over a decade ago, and much more. Stav and Tommy help callers including an overworked construction worker with three kids who doesn't want anymore but whose wife keeps coercing making with an offer he can't refuse, a dork who's wondering if Baltimore is safe to live in, and a woman whose husband almost left her because she put on too much weight. Follow Tommy Sinbazo on social media: https://www.instagram.com/tommy_sinbazo/ https://www.facebook.com/tommy.sinbazo/ https://www.instagram.com/bussiwithani 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I ended up that year for Halloween, I went out with my buddy Harold and this girl that I was dating, right? And we went trick or treating and I wore my, the, the same

• 0:09Stavros Halkias?

  Little Robin Hood bullshit.

• 0:10Speaker 00

  And I had a trash bag, right? So, and we had heard that the neighborhood was, we knew the neighborhood was getting bad. But, uh, so we are walking down this one street and all of a sudden someone comes whizzing by me on a bike, right? And I hear, give me that fucking candy, right? And this kid on a bike, hey, um, African American child on a, on a bike.

• 0:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  That I don't know was his.

• 0:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Now you are, that is literal speculation, but that's fine.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  I don't know, just.

• 0:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's fine. He did steal your candy.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  Didn't show me your receipt?

• 0:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  So he whips by me, grabs the bag and I grabbed, I held on and pulled and then the bag just ripped and candy went everywhere. And now he's like, kinda slowly.

• 0:52Stavros Halkias?

  White trash pinata.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  He's slowly like pedaling away and I would, in my head, I'm like, I could catch him. So I pulled the fucking dagger and I fucking.

• 1:03Stavros Halkias?

  You up the dagger on him?

• 1:05Speaker 00

  I had the fucking dagger and I'm fucking chucking at him, right? And he looks back and sees fucking men in bikes.

• 1:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Guards! You have taken my confectionaries.

• 1:18Speaker 00

  Uh, so he cuts down, like he, I'm, I'm chasing him. He goes down the street, down to this, and it's another thing where he then runs into all his friends.

• 1:27Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  At like the top of my street, basically the same place where we got jumped.

• 1:30Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course. This is before, chronologically, just put us in time. This was how many years before or after your family got beat?

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Years before.

• 1:38Stavros Halkias?

  Two years before, okay. So a little four, this is the prequel.

• 1:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get down there and.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  This is episode one, yeah? This is Darth Maul, actually. This is the Darth Maul of you getting jumped.

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Hey, that kid was a phantom menace.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  So he meets up with the rest of the clones. Uh, and they start like, you know, now he like stops.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's like cinematic where you're like, I'm gonna fuck you up and then you're like, huh?

• 2:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:06Stavros Halkias?

  And then just the, the chase happens the other way. That's really fucking funny.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  Benny Hill music starts. We're going in and out of doors in a hallway. Uh, so he ends up, he meets up with them and they start like surrounding us and now it's me, the girl I'm dating and my buddy Harold. And they're all like.

• 2:23Stavros Halkias?

  Your, your friends ran with you.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, they, they ran and then they're like, oh, why did we do this?

• 2:28Stavros Halkias?

  Big mistake.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  But I, the, I, the only thing that was keeping him back was I had this, you know, this fucking dagger.

• 2:34Stavros Halkias?

  Which probably wasn't sharp.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  No, yeah, no, it was sharp.

• 2:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it was, okay.

• 2:37Speaker 00

  The sides you couldn't cut stuff, but it could stab.

• 2:39Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  So, um, I'm holding this fucking dagger, right? And, uh, you know, they're like, man, why'd you chase my boy? Blah, blah, blah. Like starting to get mouthy.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  He took my twigs. He didn't even like have anything of value. The candy, he didn't have the candy. The candy was on the ground.

• 2:54Speaker 00

  All over the ground.

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  You were just doing it for revenge.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  One day I will be diabetic.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  So then while they're all gathering around, apparently some other kid said, you know, told, um, my mom and neighbors and everything what was going on. Now my next door neighbor, his super racist dad was, was, uh, visiting. The dad pulls up.

• 3:14Stavros Halkias?

  Visiting. Hilarious.

• 3:16Speaker 00

  Well, he wouldn't live there.

• 3:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 00

  So he, he hops in like his big station wagon and fucking damn near plows through.

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  Right? And the kid had jumped off his bike and he gets out and fucking takes the kid's bike and throws it in his trunk and goes, you know, escorts us back down to my house, right? So now it's like Night of the Living Dead because now they're all coming like.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  Why would you take the bike?

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Because they wanted it there. Uh, my mom, when he threw, he threw a bike in my mom's yard, in my yard, right? The front yard. And they're all coming, get back my bike. And my mom was like, you can have your bike when you bring your mother here to come and get it. Right? So.

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  But again. It was over candy.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they couldn't return the candy.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  No, no, no.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if he's robbed you, if he took your wallet, yeah, take his bike and we'll do a trade.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  But this is really not worth it.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  Stop, it's the principle.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. This guy's racist deadbeat father.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  He could have gone trick or treating. He could have gathered this candy on his own.

• 4:13Stavros Halkias?

  I wonder if he would have been better off living with his children instead of just occasionally popping in and stoking the flames of a race war.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  They were adults. This was like an older racist guy.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  You know, back, back from when racism, he, I'm pretty sure he said the word a few times.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not surprised. Eighties in fucking southwest Baltimore.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did. So, uh, my mom was like, you know, you can have this back when, you know, your mom comes to get it, right? So then this kid goes into our neighbor's yard and then hops the fence and gets in my mom's face and he was like, bitch, I'll fucking. And my mom fucking hauls back and slaps the fucking shit out of this kid. Like you heard a.

• 4:51Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 4:53Speaker 00

  If it was, if it was Street Fighter, we'd be like, hey, hey, ho, ho, right? And the kid just starts.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  And you're in your tunic watching all of this.

• 5:00Speaker 00

  Yes, I'm, I'm there playing a fife by now.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  Is he dress, how's he dressed?

• 5:03Speaker 00

  T-shirt and jeans.

• 5:05Stavros Halkias?

  No costume?

• 5:05Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 5:06Stavros Halkias?

  Would have been awesome if she slapping Spider-Man.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  My mom kicks shit, kicks the shit out of SpongeBob right there.

• 5:12Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, I will say it's kind of lazy because costume is the perfect cover for crime.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  You're wearing a mask, you know what I mean? If you do a common costume, you can get away, you know what I mean? You get like steel shit, who cares? It's like, you know.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  If you had two costumes on, you would take the one off? Or what if he was dressed like a Klansman?

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  Now that's genius.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  No one would have known.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's genius. That's awesome.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  So, uh, my mom, it, uh, gets slapped, whatever. The cops come, right? And now the cops are there and the cops are like, just give him back his bike. You know, there's really nothing we can do.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  It's true. It's true.

• 5:45Stavros Halkias?

  And like, he shouldn't have taken your candy, but.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:48Stavros Halkias?

  This was a real miscalculation. It ended up with your mom being the one who clearly committed the worst crime.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean.

• 5:55Stavros Halkias?

  Which is slapping the fucking.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  Should I have pulled a knife on someone that stole my candy?

• 5:58Stavros Halkias?

  I guess that's true. You did pull a knife. I'll take that back.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  I did. They were in the right to be like, hey, this guy's chasing a friend.

• 6:04Stavros Halkias?

  This actually is kind of.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  You've escalated this, sir.

• 6:06Stavros Halkias?

  You've actually escalated, yeah.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  You've all this over five dollars worth of candy.

• 6:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  So, um, they all, they leave or whatever.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  But I also get it. You steal candy from me when I'm fucking 13?

• 6:18Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 6:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'm pissed off, dude.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Plus with my girlfriend right there?

• 6:21Stavros Halkias?

  You can't make me look, yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:22Stavros Halkias?

  And were you getting, were you, were you getting pussy yet?

• 6:25Speaker 00

  This is the girl that like took my virginity and all that stuff.

• 6:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the first, you, you can't, look.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  And like if this was between 10th and 11th grade, it had happened that year.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, this is, you have to protect your honor in front of this fair maiden.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Yeah. For this woman that let me fuck her in the woods.