#153 - Caleb Hearon

Caleb Hearon returns to the pod to discuss his new special Caleb Hearon: Model Comedian (HBO Max), how he and Stav won the fat guy lottery, what the plot of his and Stav’s buddy comedy would be, blowing it on dates by being a coward, the time he came out as bi on Facebook, and much more. Caleb and Stav help callers including a guy who’s wondering if his girlfriend is bluffing about her cuckqueen kink, and a man who’s wondering if he’s cursed because so many of his loved ones have passed away. Watch Caleb Hearon’s new special CALEB HEARON: MODEL COMEDIAN on HBO Max: https://www.hbomax.com/movies/caleb-hearon-model-comedian/3da10291-dc85-49c0-af26-d051dab7090b Watch Caleb Hearon’s podcast So True: https://www.youtube.com/@sooootruepod Follow Caleb Hearon on social media: https://www.instagram.com/calebsaysthings/ https://www.tiktok.com/@calebsaysthings https://www.youtube.com/@sooootruepod 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hello, folks. We have an incredible episode with my pal Caleb coming up in just a second. You're gonna love it. But first, I want to let you know the Dream Boat Tour is back for 2026. If we didn't come to your city last year, we're coming this year. Over 30 new cities. Plus, we're doing a little November run. So this week, coming up, Memphis on the 6th, Huntsville on the 7th. And then, we also have a couple tickets left for Boston in December. But in 2026, we're coming to Tampa, Hollywood, Florida, Red Bank, New Jersey, Philly, Burlington, Vermont, Buffalo. We're coming to Lexington, Ohio, Des Moines, Springfield, Missouri, St. Louis, all over the place.

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  Minnesota, Rockford, Illinois, Biloxi. Oh, baby. New York, New York, Radio City Music Hall. I'm pumped about that. Orlando, Jacksonville. I mean, it goes on and on. Atlanta, Morgantown, Fort Wayne, Bloomington, Detroit, Grand Rapids, Milwaukee, Providence, Rochester. Good googly moogly, we're coming to a lot of towns. Get your tickets now. We will see you then. And right now, enjoy the podcast with Caleb.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavros World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve your problems. Returning to the show, our good friend Caleb here. And how you doing, buddy? Yo, give him the cheers, Aldous. Give him the cheers.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Hey, dude, how's it going?

• 2:39Stavros Halkias?

  Good, man. You know, it's not early, but it's the first thing I'm doing today.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  So it feels like it's 7:00 a.m. in my head.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  I want to tell the listeners it almost couldn't be later in the day.

• 2:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's 11:20.

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  It could be quite later.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  I'm worried about you.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  I just want to start there.

• 3:02Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get into it.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Because you've changed.

• 3:03Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yup.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  The last time I did the podcast, I showed up to a cracked in.

• 3:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yes, there was no front. The front door didn't lock.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  I showed up and there were three rats in leather jackets, twirling chains and shaking dice. Told me that I look lost.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's right, that's right.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  I come here today, you have a door person, and he's like-

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  Door man, let's relax a little bit.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  He's excited.

• 3:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  He's excited to be the doorman.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  He's like, I came in, and you know how a lot of door people in New York, they sit at the desk and they go, whatever. He jumped up and he goes, "How can I help you, sir?"

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  You've changed.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  Look, dude, what can I say? I'm subletting an insane rich man's apartment for six months. I'm cosplaying, being like a wealthy captain of industry.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  We weren't supposed to be in these spaces.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Not at all.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Don't you feel?

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  But I told you this, you're six years younger than me. I know where you are. I was 30 and about to get rich. And being like, "It'll never happen to me."

• 3:57Speaker 03

  No, I'm not saying that.

• 3:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'm salt of the earth.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  And you're clinging hard to it. It's very hard, it's important for you, particularly your image, to cling hard to it. You know what I mean? And don't get me wrong, me too, on some level, from Baltimore. I talk about inequality is a big problem. Listen, I bought a new car, I bought a RAV4.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:17Stavros Halkias?

  Now, was that-

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Now, was it a $55,000 RAV4?

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  It was the absolute highest RAV4 possible. Fully loaded RAV4. I wanted, I needed the cameras up top so that I could, you know, parallel park with ease. I've been a pedestrian in New York for too long. I've lost, I've lost my ability to just fucking-

• 4:35Speaker 03

  I've lost friends.

• 4:36Stavros Halkias?

  I've lost it all. But, and did I test drive every luxury SUV and was too fat for the seats? Yes.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  But, no.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  I'm a man of the people.

• 4:48Stavros Halkias?

  But.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Is what it is.

• 4:49Stavros Halkias?

  It allowed me to pivot back to being a man of the people. I was getting ready to make that move, you know? We were about to reach out to the Trump administration's press secretary and say, I know he's not running, but could the big man squeeze us? Could the big man squeeze in Stavi's world?

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Can Stavi, can Stavi have him on the show?

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Can Stavi throw him some softball questions that make it look like he has no point of view?

• 5:12Stavros Halkias?

  Could I humanize a piece of shit? Could I pretend a pedophile's not a pedophile?

• 5:18Speaker 03

  So, you don't think immigrants are people? What, tell me about that?

• 5:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and as an immigrant, I agree.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Whatever it takes. No, I don't, I hate what I'm seeing from you. I saw, I'm gonna be really, really honest.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  As your friend, when I saw you in the tuxedo on the carpet at Cannes.

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  I felt, I felt sick.

• 5:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  Cause I felt.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  Bookmark this, Elvis, when the Devil Wears Prada 2 premiere comes out. Let's just clip this exact moment when he's got, when he sees my Emma Stone and Alicia Silverstone and raises me Meryl Streep. When he does that, let's just go ahead and mark this moment down, Elvis, please.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  This is so unlikable, you know?

• 5:58Stavros Halkias?

  Just admit, you know, we both, we hit the, uh, each generation, there is a fat straight and a fat gay.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:06Stavros Halkias?

  That get to win this lottery, and it happens to be us. White division, by the way.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  White division, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:13Stavros Halkias?

  Each generation, and it gets to be us, and I need you to stop acting like that's not what's happening to you.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  You know, I, I have nothing, I have no defenses. I have no defenses. Before we started the episode, you took a bathroom break and I was texting a contractor for my house.

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  Being like, what do you mean you can't come over today?

• 6:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  It's bad.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  You should be, yeah, I mean, we both, I should be about to inherit my family's Greek restaurant. I should be a 36-year-old man who still takes orders from his elderly mother. And you should be run, you should be running a Michaels in Kansas City.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  If even.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  You should be in Joanne's Fabrics. You should be giving everybody a pep talk at Joanne's Fabrics.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Hey, guys, let's care a little, huh?

• 7:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's spooky season.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Why does aisle seven look like shit?

• 7:07Stavros Halkias?

  And we've escaped that, man. And we're both property owners in our hometowns and property renters in the better cities we fled to.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just don't like the way it looks on you.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  I think I'm doing it in a more humble.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Approachable.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  And then I show up to your, you've got the help. You've got the help guiding me through the building.

• 7:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's eldest.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 7:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're talking about eldest.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, eldest.

• 7:33Stavros Halkias?

  And he can't help that either.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  He's all, this is the Albanian lottery. It's being the help for a Greek, but who happens to be in podcasting instead of. Two generations ago, he would have been tilling the fields. He would have been at the olive groves, personally shaking down olive trees.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  I'm like Chris Tucker in Friday. I'd be like, I'd be playing mind games with Debo. He tells me to shut the fuck up. I do it, but then he leaves. I just start talking again.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  I'll do, I'll shut the fuck up. Think about me.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. That is right. But no, you know, it's nice having, it is, it does feel weird to have nice things. Living in a building like this, I do legitimately feel like every day you feel like you snuck in.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  100%.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, why I'm here?

• 8:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, there are certain people, when, when I, there are spaces I'm in that I legitimately, legitimately am like, no one in here should have to see me.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  I can't, I can't believe these people and they have to like, they have to be kind of nice to me.

• 8:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  These like very fancy people, you know?

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  They kind of have to be nice to me because I'm like paying the bill.

• 8:39Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  It is, it is crazy. Yeah, I know, I know. I just, and you see, but then you get into ri, the thing I will say, when you get into like a rich zone.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, you're like, oh, these people are fucking stupid.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  Like, nobody here deserves to be here. You know what I mean? Like, nobody, every, somebody's dad bought the, you know, somebody's in fine, there's a 20, there's, any young persons in this building, 100%, their families rich.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  100%.

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? And then the old people, it's like they're, you either get very young nepo style stuff, or you have like, old people that are so old that it's like, whatever you did to make. Your money 70 years ago, no chance it was chill.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Some evil was done.

• 9:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, evil, absolute. We are, the halls, any rich space is a space of evil.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  I found a DNC, um, in the trash here, I found a DNC, uh, like, it was like an autographed, like, memorabilia from when they were practicing their speeches. I have Nancy Pelosi's autograph in my kitchen right now.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  And that's the kind of building it is.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  You're going through the trash?

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  My, yeah.

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's a trash room. You go down there, you put cardboard and stuff in, and you see Nancy Pelosi's autograph gleaming at you.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  It honestly made me feel better for a second to know that at least you're going through the trash here.

• 10:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, there's good trash in these buildings. There is incredible trash in these buildings.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  I wa- when I walked in to this building, I did, I got to witness one of my favorite things, which is a wealthy white woman trying to be cool.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  And she was, she was doing that thing that rich white ladies do to, to, um, like the doorman, where she was like, she was like, uh, she was like, oh my god, how are we?

• 10:22Speaker 03

  And, and, and he has to paint on that, like, yes ma'am smile. And I was just, I was looking at him, I was like, brother, I'm so sorry.

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  And she was like, okay, I'm here to grab that, thank you. You know, and it was like, god, girl, you could just be like, hey, how's it going?

• 10:34Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  But it's that, like, high octane.

• 10:36Stavros Halkias?

  Hyped yourself up for it.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  She's walking in like, don't embarrass yourself in front of a Dominican, that's what she's saying to herself.

• 10:41Speaker 03

  She's like, be one of the good ones, be one of the good ones. It's humiliating, and it's like condescending in a new way.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of cour- well, don't get me wrong, the first two weeks I was here, I got a lot of like, like sideways looks like, what, because I'm tank topped up.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:56Stavros Halkias?

  I come here in the summer.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Right, who's getting work done on their unit?

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right. Who's contract, it's casual Friday for this contractor.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  The guy's gonna unclog the grease traps in my fucking, from my Viking range. I guess he's going to Pilates afterward, I guess we caught him in between.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Someone in the building's having cement laid, I don't know why this guy is here, but this is not looking good.

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. But that is nice, I do like lowering. Just kind of reminding people like, you're not a fucking spec- The trappings of wealth are all, it's all fake. I got in here.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Any one of us could accidentally be like you.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, I had, the first time I ever experienced this was I had a real insecurity that when I was in college, I went to Missouri State and I got this internship in New York that was like mostly Ivy League kids.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  They hired like five or 10 state school and college, community college kids, like as I think they like had to.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, as a joke.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  As a joke, yeah.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  As a dinner for schmucks scenario.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Truly, truly dinner for schmucks. Dinner for state school kids.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  And I was so nervous coming in because I was like, oh my god, all these kids go to Harvard.

• 11:59Stavros Halkias?

  Look, he's wearing his nice American Eagle cardigan. That's what he thinks is dressing up.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  The way I had a nice American Eagle cardigan kills me.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  He's wearing a, he's wearing a shirt that, with the tie, they came in a plastic box together.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  They match it up for you, so you don't have to guess.

• 12:17Stavros Halkias?

  He shouts for shirts at the end of the aisle at Macy's.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  He's wearing a turquoise button down.

• 12:23Stavros Halkias?

  Turquoise.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  With a black and turquoise checkered tie and a pocket square.

• 12:31Stavros Halkias?

  All the same material, all just cut out of different parts of the same material, of course. Yes, yes, yes.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  But I, I was so, I was like, oh my god, all these kids go to Ivy Leagues, like they're gonna be so smart. I'm not kidding, day one, I talked to like five of them and I had a different kind of panic attack because I was like,

• 12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Oh, everything I thought about the world is wrong. These people are not smarter than me.

• 12:49Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  They're not special, they just wound up at this better place.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  And now I'm like scrapping, scraping, trying to get something that they get so easily.

• 12:57Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Just because they got into this expensive school.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's an afterthought for them even. They're like, oh, I guess I'll do the internship. The thing you were trying so, every-

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Desperate.

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  You pulled every, every favor, everything you could possibly do, and they're just like, should I go to like tennis academy in Barcelona? Or should I, or should I have this internship that some kid from Kansas City would kill his family to get?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  I would, when I was in undergrad, trying to find internships, because I was like, this is the only way I'm gonna get out of here.

• 13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  I would go and find people who worked for the company on LinkedIn.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  I had a LinkedIn, a fully loaded LinkedIn profile.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  And I would DM them and be like, hi, I know this is a little unusual, but I'm- Applying for this internship at your company, I'd love to like zoom with you to get your, I was insane.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Smart.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  I was insane.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  A little, yeah, I love that.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  I literally, there was one woman I remember at this nonprofit I really wanted to work at that was like a cool nonprofit at the time. And she agreed to take the meeting with me and she was like, hey, you're not gonna get this internship, but I wanted to take the meeting because I, I respect the hustle.

• 13:54Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  And I was like, can you do anything for me? And she was like, no, you don't have.

• 13:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, of course not.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, she was like, no.

• 13:59Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  But you know, keep trying.

• 14:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I was like, thank you.

• 14:02Stavros Halkias?

  That is, I guess that's good.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Meant the world to me.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, because she was kind of letting you know, you have something that could be useful in a just world, but.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  Not the one we live in, baby.

• 14:12Stavros Halkias?

  The chairman of the board's niece was just accused of grooming someone at her summer camp and she needs a good job to kind of get her away from all that.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  She needs the cash flow right now. Sorry, baby boy. You need to know someone with a little more pull.

• 14:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Than your guidance counselor at college or whatever.

• 14:32Stavros Halkias?

  And what was the, what were you studying? What was, what were these internships in?

• 14:37Speaker 03

  I was studying socio-political communication.

• 14:39Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  The internships were like pretty much anything that I could get to New York and get paid.

• 14:43Stavros Halkias?

  Got you.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  I was, I was only applying for paid internships in New York or even if it wasn't paid, I had to have housing or something.

• 14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Because I was like, oh, if they gave me housing, I could like save up enough money in the semester to like pay for my food and stuff.

• 14:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right. That's another, I mean, that's one of the clearest Ponzi schemes and ways that wealth stays entrenched is like, oh, all the most prestigious internships, they're, they're in the most expensive cities and they don't pay you anything. So it's like, who do you think's getting those in? Who can even?

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Who can afford that?

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  Who can afford that? You know what I mean? It's, it's fucking insane.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, who can afford to like sum it for a while and take risks?

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I, I was studying that and I would, internships, anything, anything that I thought would like get me closer to a job.

• 15:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and because at this point, this, you're not thinking about comedy, entertainment, or you are.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  At this point, I'm wanting to, but I'm scared. I was scared. So I was like, this was my thing of being like, and I did this right after college too, where I was like, get a job or get something that pays. And then when you have free time, you can go and hit open mics.

• 15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  And so that's what I did is I came to New York and then anytime I was off, I would go like see shows or I would go to open mics. And was just trying to like be around comedy while I was working.

• 15:48Stavros Halkias?

  And what was the internship? Like what was the?

• 15:51Speaker 03

  The internship I ended up getting was at Columbia University. It was called internship in building community. And it was, it was sly on their part because what it really was, was we were camp counselors, basically, for these rich kids, rich kids around the world will apply to this program to go, they'll spend the summer at Columbia doing like an Ivy League prep program. And then we would like teach their classes and take them on volunteer trips and then live in their dorms with them and make sure they weren't like doing drugs and drinking.

• 16:17Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  So we were basically like.

• 16:19Stavros Halkias?

  So you're an RA, yeah, yeah, an RA slash TA.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I got, I was, I found out really early, I asked one of the older RA's as soon as I got here, like, what's the, what's the, because there's the day job component and then the nighttime component. Nighttime component is just sleeping in the building and checking them into their rooms.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  The daytime was like your job and I was like, what's the day job with the least amount of responsibility? So I can like go do other shit in the city.

• 16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  And they're like the community service because instead of working like nine to four, when the students are there, you get up in the morning, coordinate with the site, and then you take the kids and they have to be back for their afternoon class. So you end up working, I think I ended up working like 11 to two.

• 16:53Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  And then I would just the rest of the day, kind of fuck off.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Off.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Having a whimsical time in New York.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  Well, I'd go wait in line to see Whiplash or something, you know what I mean? I didn't use it how I should have.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  But, oh man, Whiplash, I, that's a movie I'll watch. It's funny to watch that movie and be like, this is about me and comedy. You know what I mean? Like, this is about me and doing open mics and it's like, there's no, there's no.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  There's not, that's not what it is.

• 17:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not even close, it's not even close to a strenuous, but it's like, yeah, this is how, I'm a master of my craft.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  And there's no old man yelling at me, but there is just sort of like.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  In a way.

• 17:29Stavros Halkias?

  In a way, it's just like wanting not to bomb, I don't even know what it is, but I remember being like, I can't ever watch that again, it's too affecting as an artist.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm talking about like jokes about not being able to wipe my own ass or whatever.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's like I'm the lowest form of fucking comedy at the time of being like, yeah.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, meanwhile, you're on stage being like, I want to eat a southern woman's pussy so she'll call me sugar or whatever the fuck. Whatever the fuck your material is.

• 17:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome, by the way.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  It does sound cool.

• 17:55Stavros Halkias?

  Shug, just call me Shug like Luann, dude. Fuck, yeah, dude, I'm so, or no, I'm sorry. Dale's wife says Shug.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Shug.

• 18:04Stavros Halkias?

  Luann does not, I don't believe, but yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  We need to tap back in on that.

• 18:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be nice. Oh, yeah, southern woman is at the top. I would love to, to date a southern woman, a southern belle.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  What's going on with you, by the way? Are you still do, like, are you still fucking around? Are we settling down soon?

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I'm open to it, certainly.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Are you dating, like, what, what?

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I don't, I really thought, I really thought I would have a fall in New, like, a whimsical fall in New York where I'm, I'm getting cardigans, not American Eagle, you know, something a little nicer these days, but I'm in the cardigan. I'm looking, I'm in Central Park strolling around. I've got a hot cup of joe and maybe there's a meet cute with a beautiful tourist.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:45Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we have a, we, we start a, she's only here for a couple of months. Even in my fantasies, it's temporary. She's only here for a couple of months, no strings attached. I get to fuck her a while, she goes, she leaves. Yeah. No, I don't know. I thought I would have this whimsical, like, oh, I can be a real human being, but it does, not yet, it doesn't feel like it, but I'm open to it. I mean, my brother had a kid, my best friends had two kids now. I'm starting to see the, like, next phase of being like a human being and like, you know, dad or uncle or some shit like that. I could definitely see that, but I don't know, man.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  Stavi.

• 19:20Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know where they're, I don't know who's, who's out there for me.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I want you to find a good woman and settle down.

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  I would, I would love that, man.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  I'm sick of this. This Playboy rock star lifestyle. You're living in fast forward Kenny Chesney.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  You need to slow it down, brother.

• 19:36Stavros Halkias?

  I do need to slow it down, but, you know, right now, I'm actually, I don't even, I'm not really dating at all, because I'm just fucking busy and, you know. But I would love that, I would, I mean, listen, we, again, we, we shot past what we were supposed to do in life, right?

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:51Stavros Halkias?

  Greek restaurant, Joann's Fabrics.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  It's coded, by the way. I'm, I'm letting Joann's Fabric slide, but you're, it's a little on the line.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, I wouldn't say coded, I think it's actually.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  It's directly homophobic.

• 20:06Stavros Halkias?

  I would say accurate, you would say homophobic. All right, whatever, some, a local craft store.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  I work in a restaurant, you have AIDS.

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  You're doing, you're directing rent, Off Broadway Rents.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  I don't know, something like that.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  Didn't Mateo literally work at Joann Fabrics in high school?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Well, that wouldn't surprise me a bit.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent, and he had a girlfriend at the time. And they broke up, and they broke up like in the like fabrics aisle, like he has this awesome story about that.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  He's like, well, I don't know what you want, and he walks away, yeah.

• 20:40Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, you're coaching Pee Wee football on the side.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Totally, thank you. That's all I ask.

• 20:44Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're in the Midwest after all, you're still you.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  That's all I ask.

• 20:47Stavros Halkias?

  But, you know, you're, you know, you, it's, uh, and, and maybe you're helping a local drama club, you're, you're looking, you're looking.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  You can't help yourself.

• 20:56Stavros Halkias?

  If you have extra time, you let them get the fabric that you were gonna, you know, that somebody ordered and they, they didn't want. So you're like, oh, great, you guys can make, you can make costumes for, uh, the Charlie, Charlie Brown Christmas or whatever, you know?

• 21:10Speaker 03

  The further it goes on, the more it's like kind of a life you wanna live.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  No, the kids, the kids respect you and they look up to you.

• 21:18Stavros Halkias?

  They look up to you and sure you're not married, but they still see you as a pillar of the community.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  And they come over on holidays and you don't have your own kids, but they're kinda like your kids.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  And sure, you don't have a lot, but you got plenty.

• 21:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're poor in the bank, but you're rich in the, in the soul, you know? No, fully, that is, I'm actually, that does sound pretty good.

• 21:40Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month.

• 22:19Stavros Halkias?

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply.

• 22:28Speaker 05

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain or color changes in fingers

• 23:13Speaker 05

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit nurtec.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 23:29Stavros Halkias?

  What, okay, what do you think you would, because I actually do think I would run a rest, I mean, I am a Greek stereotype in that I think I would run a restaurant because I don't want a boss.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I know that about myself. I mean, I get, I would either run scams, I think I would be good at scams.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  You would.

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  If I was poor.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:46Stavros Halkias?

  If I'd put that money, if I put that mindset into doing minor crimes, I'd probably honestly be a scam artist that worked in local politics and had a restaurant.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  See, the thing about you and scamming though, is your whole look and vibe works so well in your current life because it's, it's disarming and it's like, we want to like this guy, he's so charming and cute, you know?

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  If you had this exact same vibe and you were running scams in Baltimore, it would, people would immediately be like, this guy's going to scam me.

• 24:10Stavros Halkias?

  Well.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  I don't think it would work the same way.

• 24:12Stavros Halkias?

  You see, I.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  I think it would reverse.

• 24:14Stavros Halkias?

  I, I know what you're saying.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right, I know what you're saying, is it a little too on the nose? But sometimes that's the beauty of it. It's almost like, it's like.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  I want to get scammed by that guy.

• 24:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's dazzle camouflage where it's so obvious you're, it's so much that you're, the brain can't process it.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:30Stavros Halkias?

  And then it just sees normal.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  If you tried to sell me AirPods on the street in Baltimore, I would laugh you out of my area.

• 24:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, see, I'm not doing street. Level scams.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Okay, you're doing big.

• 24:39Stavros Halkias?

  Caleb, come on.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  Building contracts and scaffolding permits.

• 24:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm skimming a little off the top.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a licensed, uh, I'm a licensed, uh, paralegal.

• 24:49Speaker 03

  That was disrespectful of me.

• 24:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was really mean of me.

• 24:52Stavros Halkias?

  And people are like, you know, he's a bit of a quirky guy, but he always means well. And secretly, I'm taking a little bit off the top.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  You're like the manager for NSYNC or whatever, that guy?

• 25:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, he was.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  What was his name?

• 25:02Stavros Halkias?

  He was also a.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  I don't know what your life is in this story, man. You went pretty hard on the drama club earlier.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  You, you talked about the drama club for a long time.

• 25:14Stavros Halkias?

  And that was more me projecting, because I do think I would love to run a drama club, actually.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:20Stavros Halkias?

  The best times of my life were when I would, because I had those moments where in between being forced by, you know, society's expectations of an alpha male, which is how I saw myself at the time. I would, whenever they would let me do like, when like in, uh, in middle school, I was in drama for like a year. And then I pretended it's because I wanted to play sports, but it's really because I didn't get the part of like, literally Charlie Brown.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  King.

• 25:50Stavros Halkias?

  And, and so I was literally just being like, you know, instead of being like, how dare they not give me the part of Charlie Brown? I was like, you know what? I'm actually a fucking jock now.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm actually a sports guy.

• 26:00Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking quit. I'm not playing fucking Linus, dude. I'm, I would do a great job. I would do a great job, obviously.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  If I gave them Linus, they would love what they got. But I'm not doing Linus.

• 26:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, there is definitely a part of me that's like, why didn't I just fucking lean in?

• 26:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:13Stavros Halkias?

  And know who the fuck I was from the beginning?

• 26:15Speaker 03

  I didn't do theater in any of school because I was like, it's the biggest tell.

• 26:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  I was trying to stay in the closet and I was like, you can't.

• 26:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  When you get on that stage, you're gonna shine, baby.

• 26:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  You're gonna dazzle.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  The light beam is gonna come out of you. You're gonna start levitating.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  All the layers are gonna come off and you're gonna be a star. And they're gonna know.

• 26:35Stavros Halkias?

  Better stick to student government and the Christian club or whatever.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  I got, well, you know, I got, I got dethroned in Christian athletes.

• 26:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  I was the president of a fellowship of Christian athletes.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Stavi, they kicked me, they voted me out.

• 26:49Stavros Halkias?

  Why?

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Because I wouldn't stop cussing at basketball games.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you were too fired up.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  I was like, I care. You know, I would, we would go to the basketball games and I'd be like, this is bullshit. And they'd be like, Caleb.

• 27:00Stavros Halkias?

  Caleb.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got kicked out.

• 27:02Stavros Halkias?

  How much of the rest of that club do you think was in the closet?

• 27:05Speaker 03

  Like.

• 27:06Stavros Halkias?

  Cause that's like a two for one. I'm Christian and I like sports.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:10Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Well, that's how it is in Rome, Missouri. It's like fellowship Christian athletes. Do you know what meet me at the pole is? Do you know what meet me at the pole is? Oh, guys.

• 27:19Stavros Halkias?

  Hit me with it.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Meet me at the pole is, this is gonna be so big for a lot of your listeners. I know they know.

• 27:23Stavros Halkias?

  Great, great, great, great.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  Meet me at the pole is this psychotic thing that because you're not allowed to, they took God out of schools. They never did, it's still there.

• 27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Still there, absolutely.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  They do this thing called meet me at the pole that the, the Christian kids do. That's like a national day where like one day a year before school, the idea is that you get, you get your whole school to meet at the flagpole and do a public prayer before school. And it's called meet me at the pole and it's a big, they have like a marketing campaign and like a huge thing. And they still do it to this day. I saw like a, an ad for it the other day.

• 27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  That they're still doing it at high schools, but the whole thing is supposed to be like, make everyone who's not a Christian at your school uncomfortable.

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Show up and pray at the pole.

• 28:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's really psycho. I would love the Muslim version of that.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:06Stavros Halkias?

  They're calling the police immediately.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:07Stavros Halkias?

  There's like three kids get together and fucking, you know, go to a prayer rug. They're like, I need the Department of Homeland Security here.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Get DHS here immediately. They're doing Sharia law.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, the way that Christians want Sharia law so bad, by the way.

• 28:22Stavros Halkias?

  They do want their version.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  They want their version of it, yeah.

• 28:24Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. So you're, so you're, you're the, you're the president of Christian Fellowship Athletes or whatever the fuck.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:31Stavros Halkias?

  And you get booted for that, huh?

• 28:33Speaker 03

  I get booted and I actually this morning woke up thinking about, did you guys ever have, um, at your high school? Did you guys ever have like a drunk driving day? Where they would stage a drunk driving crash on the lawn of the school?

• 28:46Stavros Halkias?

  I, we had, yeah, we had that at college weirdly enough, but yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  That's even crazier.

• 28:51Stavros Halkias?

  Well, then they made it like a fundraiser where you could fuck the car up.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:55Stavros Halkias?

  They gave you a sledgehammer.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  So they would, they would do like, oh, this car got fucked up for drunk, you know, don't, don't drink and drive kids. And then they were like, but you get to fuck the car. You get, you got to pay like a dollar a swipe with the sledgehammer.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:07Stavros Halkias?

  And it was kind of a great, it was a great idea.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  Cause it was fucking awesome to fuck a car up. Yeah, it's fun.

• 29:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  They would wreck a car on like the front lawn and we did, we, ours had such a big production budget. One year there was like a Lifelight helicopter that like, well, and then there was a version, a part of it too, where some kid would be dressed as the Grim Reaper.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  And they would walk around school that day and come into the classroom and be like, and if they grabbed you, you would just die from drunk driving. So you, so you had to leave the rest of the day and all your classmates would be like, no, they got Stav.

• 29:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  And then you'd be like, that's what it would be like if Stav died from drunk driving, he wouldn't be here anymore.

• 29:44Stavros Halkias?

  And you just got to not go to class?

• 29:45Speaker 03

  Well, no, you like went and did, you like went and got, you were in the production. So then later what would happen is they wouldn't just crash the car. They would have like, one of your classmates would be like splayed out by the car with like a gash and like fake blood. And then they would have the mom and dad come down and be like, no. And then we would all just, the whole school would stand and just watch the parents like weep over the body.

• 30:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  And then they'd have the local EMTs come and like load them up in a body bag.

• 30:10Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. Wow, in a body bag?

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Yes. And then like the, the school counselor.

• 30:14Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is insane.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  It's cra- and then the school counselor would come and be like, with a note card and be like, every year, 300 students die from drunk driving in this county. And it has to stop.

• 30:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  And then we would just, we would all just kind of watch and be like, yeah, that's crazy.

• 30:29Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I'm sure it was a huge drunk driving place though. There's.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  It's Missouri. Yeah. Everyone's driving drunk.

• 30:34Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like high school is like going to a field and getting fucked up.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  And just parking your car like at another field.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  We all drove drunk in high school.

• 30:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Every adult I knew until I was like 21 had at least one DUI.

• 30:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  My mom, I think, I, I, my mom's got a couple.

• 30:53Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  They all have DUIs over there.

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  It's like, cause you're, you're drunk, but your car needs to go home with you.

• 30:58Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. And there's no Uber.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  There's no Uber. What are you supposed to do? I mean, don't drive drunk.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  Don't drive drunk.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  That's the logic.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  The days are o- the days of driving drunk are over.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  It's not the seventies, yeah.

• 31:07Stavros Halkias?

  You missed it.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  You missed it. It was beautiful.

• 31:09Stavros Halkias?

  Were we at the tail end?

• 31:10Speaker 03

  I got it.

• 31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Were we at the tail end? Did I drive from a couple Halloween parties dressed as Mario?

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Do I have a specific memory of driving drunk?

• 31:18Speaker 03

  I would love to see that, unfortunately.

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  My Luigi friend has alcohol poisoning, who was supposed to be the DD. He has alcohol poisoning next to me.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm driving his car home. Am I, am I nodding off? And the fucking rumble strips are waking me up?

• 31:33Speaker 03

  This is a bad story. You've got young, impressionable guys. Don't do this.

• 31:37Stavros Halkias?

  I asked a lot of rhetorical questions.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:39Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:41Stavros Halkias?

  None of that happened.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  I was never Mario. I was never drunk. I was never tired on the road.

• 31:47Stavros Halkias?

  It wasn't my friend Christina's dad's house in the suburbs that was awesome and huge. None of that happened. I didn't desperately try and fuck her friends and none of them even. Not only did they not reject me, they didn't even realize I was trying to fuck them, which is even worse.

• 31:59Speaker 03

  They were like, stop, it's nice.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  He's a nice guy. He talked to me so long about my problems.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  He really cares about my interests. Anyway, I'm gonna go fuck his hot friend.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  And then he's gonna drink a lot of Bacardi 151 and then drive drunk 40 minutes home. None of that happened.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  None of that's real. That's all an exercise. That's an exercise.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's all what we might call a, uh, yeah, thought exercise, thought experiment.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  I did an assembly for you just now, yeah.

• 32:32Stavros Halkias?

  And that's bad. Don't ever do that. Thank you, elders. Thank you for giving.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Don't make awesome core memories, guys.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, literally every party we went to was some version of that. I remember went to one party with your friends that was actually good. Do you remember that party?

• 32:52Speaker 04

  Oh, was that at that big house?

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  That huge house.

• 32:54Speaker 04

  Baltimore County.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were trading alcohol for weed.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:59Stavros Halkias?

  We were bar- the barter system. When a party has the barter system.

• 33:02Speaker 04

  That's beautiful.

• 33:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, you're kind of making Burning Man.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:07Stavros Halkias?

  In some, somebody's like uncle's house that you get, that they got to be in.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Everything's Burning Man eventually.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Everything in life eventually is Burning Man if you give it enough time to fester.

• 33:19Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. But again, classic, we get fucked up, try and fuck girls in a way that doesn't even register, and then we drive drunk to your parents' house and have like Domino's or something.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  You know what? I remember I made a sleep there that night, or sleep in the car or something.

• 33:36Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  I was like, dude, I don't know, I'm pretty drunk and high, I don't know if I should drive. You're like, come on, dude.

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, dude, the fuck? Let's fucking go.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  So I was like, bang and drive.

• 33:48Stavros Halkias?

  I have ice cream at your mom's freezer I want to eat, dude. I'm good, dude, just give me a fucking piece of your car, dude.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Dude, please let me drive. Every girl I tried to fuck tonight thinks I'm a bestie.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  I need to drive right now.

• 34:07Stavros Halkias?

  If I wake up here, I'm gonna be forced to soberly go to brunch with all of them. I'm gonna have to be hungover hearing about how they sucked other guys off.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  And they're gonna think I'm interested in that story. Please, I need to drive.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm gonna delude myself, 20 minutes I'll be annoyed, and then I'm gonna delude myself into thinking I'm playing the long game.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  The long game is so real. The long game is so real.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, dude.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  And when those guys hurt her.

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Who's gonna be right there in the shadows?

• 34:37Stavros Halkias?

  Literally describing my first relationship in college. Was just, I did that by accident. Like, I actually didn't plan on doing it. That was the only time I didn't. I actually did make a friendship, and I'm just years striking out with other women, and then that did happen, and I did have a weird, started off on horrible ground relationship, you know what I mean? Cause they, cause you're, cause at some point you're like, she clearly likes me, and... She's just, she's kind of cheating on me with her boyfriend. And then we get together and it's like, I'm kind of resentful of that, actually, that she, I was her complete, like, support system and she just was with some other guy.

• 35:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  But I was too much of a coward to say anything the whole time. It's fully my fault.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. Who am I to have respect or boundaries for myself?

• 35:21Stavros Halkias?

  I respect myself enough.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  What the fuck am I talking about?

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, youth is so beautiful.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  It is. I miss it.

• 35:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  My best days are behind me.

• 35:34Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Oh, I miss being seventeen in Missouri. Oh, God, it was good. Thinking I was into, it's still, still trying to be into girls too, was such a funny, like,

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is really funny.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Just doing anything to be like, I, I love Shelby, you know?

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  It's like, you don't, you don't, man.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  You don't at all.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Not like that.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  But it is interesting, because I do, I, I think I, I heard you talking, which means I just saw a clip that came up on the internet about, because I, you know, you don't think about how the friend zone also exists for gay men when you become friends with, you know, so you, I saw a clip, I don't remember which podcast it was on, where you were like, sometime, like, when straight guys would be like, oh, yeah, gay guys want to be friends, they probably just want to hook up. And you're like, sometimes they're right.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Sometimes they're right.

• 36:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Sometimes it is like that.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  I don't do that anymore, because I'm a grown, evolved person.

• 36:26Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  And I do, I would tell young gay men, like, do not spend those years of your life being attracted, anyone, don't spend the young years of your life.

• 36:35Stavros Halkias?

  Doing what we just described, my, I pathetically did.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't spend your time wanting people who cannot or will not want you back.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  But, yeah, there would, there definitely is that, it's a, it's an interesting line.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  For you, it was a different orientation. For me, it was just that I was that unfuckable.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, they cannot and do not want you back. Yours is just like, they're straight guys. For me, it's like, no, there are women who are technically attracted to who you are, but not you, buddy.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  If there were some key things different about you, yeah. Mine would have to be like a whole other gender. You would just be like, lose some weight.

• 37:09Stavros Halkias?

  Start dressing better, stop quoting Night at the Roxbury.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 37:15Stavros Halkias?

  My move when I was like 14, I was like, you guys ever seen Night at the Roxbury?

• 37:19Speaker 03

  That's bleak.

• 37:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  That's so bleak.

• 37:22Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, 14 at least.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  That's so bleak.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I moved on quickly from there.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 37:26Stavros Halkias?

  To just actually probably being able to date women, but being a cat. Really what it was was being a coward. I look back at everything in my history and I'm like, why didn't I just like make any move?

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Do anything.

• 37:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like I was, I, I went on a date with a girl and we were just in my car for like 40 minutes.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:44Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm just like, um, should we smoke more weed? Just nervous.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Just so.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Trembling.

• 37:51Stavros Halkias?

  So a hundred percent.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Oh, I've given, there was one date, this is legendary among my friends. There was one date I went on when I was in my early twenties with a really cute guy that ended in four goodbye hugs.

• 38:06Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  We were at my house.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  In front of my house, he had come back to my house with me. And because I couldn't access the confidence to be like, do you want to go upstairs?

• 38:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  And just watch a movie.

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  An opportunity to make a delayed move.

• 38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  I was, I was like, I was like, all right, well, this was so much fun. Hug, goodbye. Well, um, yeah, I had so much fun tonight. What are you gonna do this week? More talking, second hug. By the fourth hug, he was like, I'mma go, man. He was like, if you're not, we're at your house. If you're not gonna.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  I told my friends later, expecting it to be kind of funny and they laughed in a way that I was like, oh, I'm, this is actually bad.

• 38:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You could have made any ham-fisted.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  Anything.

• 38:49Stavros Halkias?

  Excuse to get inside, you'd have been fine.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Anything, I mean, I literally could have just done like what I do now, which is just if, when it, when it gets to a point that you're like, something needs to be said, you just go like, we should go inside and have sex, right?

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Like even that would have been a move.

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Better than, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Four hugs is crazy.

• 39:05Stavros Halkias?

  My most, my weirdest, most pathetic one that actually worked was, uh, wanna come back and have some fruit salad?

• 39:14Stavros Halkias?

  And the girl laughed at me and I could tell I was on the, it was on the precipice of not working. But I guess her life was bad at the time and she was like, fruit salad. I mean, yeah, I will.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  She was like, fuck, man.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  You better eat my shit crazy style. If I'm going for the fruit salad line.

• 39:33Stavros Halkias?

  I did have fruit salad and I wanted some. That's what was going on in my head. I was like, I'm kind of excited to have. Those mangoes looked good. It was a tropical.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  In her head, she's like, that's the worst line I've ever heard, but I did shave, so. Yeah, I'll come back for some fruit salad. What the fuck?

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, beautiful, beautiful stuff.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Beautiful stuff.

• 39:58Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, people should watch the special Model Comedian on HBO.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Please watch Model Comedian on HBO.

• 40:03Stavros Halkias?

  A really nice kernel of that is that you came out as bisexual on Facebook.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:09Stavros Halkias?

  At one point in your life.

• 40:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. What's funny? Yeah, what's funny about that?

• 40:16Stavros Halkias?

  The delivery methods of Facebook status is awesome.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Aged me a bit with that.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also to be like, I'm bi is awesome.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  And to be so like sure of it too.

• 40:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  To be like, I'm, I am bi.

• 40:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  And I'm sure of it.

• 40:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  I remember telling my cool aunt, my cool aunt that I was bi, I called her. And I was like, I was like, hey, I'm bisexual. And I'm not kidding. I feel like she went like, huh, okay? Like she was like, okay buddy. Totally, you're bi and.

• 40:45Stavros Halkias?

  She's like.

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, sweetie, that's good that you know yourself.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, she, uh, she, she, she knew.

• 41:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking beautiful, man.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  It was really special.

• 41:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  You, you, neither of you have ever dipped your toe into bi?

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  No, but.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Who knows, right?

• 41:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'm open.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Okay, good.

• 41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Elders is a married man. It seems like that ship has sailed.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, you guys are, you guys are doing menog?

• 41:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Classic, classic stuff. Yeah, good shit.

• 41:19Stavros Halkias?

  You know, um, what, but yeah, I don't know. I'm, this, but it does coincide with my like, the longer I'm out here just doing whatever, I'm like, who fucking knows? I get, I'm on record, like if a feminine enough man wants to suck me off and the vibes are right.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:36Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not really attracted to a, I know I don't have that, the butch thing, right? Even though I do like when a girl dresses kind of like, kind of butch and then she's a hot, she's like just a sexy ass girl.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:48Stavros Halkias?

  When she's naked, that to me feels like a fun little like, you know, like gift wrapping a cool present.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  I've never felt so distant from you.

• 41:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'm opening up here.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  I know, I'm sorry, but when you said, when you said sexy ass girl, it was like, I usually feel very similar to you.

• 42:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  And that was just one of those illuminating moments where I was like, I'm different than my friends.

• 42:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  That was hard to hear, you know?

• 42:11Stavros Halkias?

  You just have to run that through the filter.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of like, I guess, you know, you objective, if I imagine I was objectifying a man.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  I would love that.

• 42:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  I would love that, yeah.

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  But I like when, you know, some, a nice pair of titties, you can't, you can't detect them.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:27Stavros Halkias?

  Normally.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:28Stavros Halkias?

  I have no, you know, but.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  No, I know what you mean. That's like when a guy has like a sleeper build.

• 42:33Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  When a guy's wearing like a sweatshirt on a date and then you take it off later and he's like ripped and you're like, whoa.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's pretty cool.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  No worries.

• 42:39Stavros Halkias?

  Or you think you're, you're convinced he's got a little ass dick and he's got a nice hog.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  See, that doesn't matter to me.

• 42:44Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Dick size doesn't matter to me.

• 42:46Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't matter?

• 42:47Speaker 03

  It's never mattered to me.

• 42:48Stavros Halkias?

  Not at one, not at all?

• 42:50Speaker 03

  In fact, I don't like a dick that's too big. What am I, why would you bring that around me?

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  Now we're talking.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Now we're finding some common ground.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  No, like bringing a big dick to me, it really does feel like, is like bringing me like a chore list.

• 43:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  I'm like, what, what, so what, I'm gonna have to help you get that off?

• 43:15Speaker 03

  How? It's too much.

• 43:17Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  So I do get annoyed, I'd get annoyed by a really big dick, but dick size does never matter to me.

• 43:22Stavros Halkias?

  I get annoyed by a really big dick as well.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  I'm not kidding.

• 43:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like rolling your eyes, being like.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  For real?

• 43:27Stavros Halkias?

  Here we go.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  I have, I have really been taking a guy's pants off while we're hooking up and noticed that his dick is huge and been like.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  I'm gonna blow your huge dick.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  And have a horrible night.

• 43:40Stavros Halkias?

  It does seem like more of a to do.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  It's a job.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  When a guy has a nice, medium sized dick and I take off the pants, I go, thank you, brother.

• 43:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 43:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Even a small dick, I'm like, rock on. That's nice.

• 43:54Stavros Halkias?

  There is a floor to that though, right?

• 43:56Speaker 03

  Not for me.

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  Not for you?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  No, I love it, I love, I love, I love all dicks.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  But a small dick is easy.

• 44:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  I go, no worries. I'll get that little guy off.

• 44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, but a big, huge dick, I'm like, it starts to affect my next day.

• 44:11Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Then I'm like, now my throat hurts.

• 44:13Stavros Halkias?

  Jaws off.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like, ugh.

• 44:15Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, fuck. You need to go get some gua sha done.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  You know, re, rebalance you.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  Especially.

• 44:22Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, I know Eldis thinks he would, he would, if you were gay, you would want a huge dick.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  I don't know. Yeah.

• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  I just knew it. I knew Eldis would be a size queen.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  I'll say like this, I'd like a decent, like, normal to decently like bigger dick. But there is a floor and I don't, I don't need like a monster either, you know?

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Just completely hypothetically, you're just trashing guys with, and you have a small dick, by the way. I know this, right?

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Not small.

• 44:58Stavros Halkias?

  Just hypothetically, you're like, some dicks would be too small for me. You're a straight man in a monogamous marriage and you're still taking time. I love that about Eldis. He really has this, there's an alternate universe where he thinks really highly of himself.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Well, he's a fucking artist.

• 45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He's taking this shit through.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  It's never occurred to me, but now that you say it, yeah, it probably would like, I don't know, six inches or like at least.

• 45:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, that's doable for sure.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  You know, nothing crazy, but.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  A nice respectable dick.

• 45:26Speaker 04

  I'm with you, Caleb. I'm like, I don't want my throat to hurt. I don't want my ass to hurt too bad, but I, I'd like,

• 45:34Speaker 04

  you know, you want something nice to look at.

• 45:38Stavros Halkias?

  See, that's what I'm talking about. I do think you get bogged down in aesthetics a lot in your life.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  I think so, yeah. That's fair.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  I don't want to alarm the viewers at home, but I can see in the imprint, he, he's getting hard talking about this. There is a bulge developing.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  I'm watching him get a little hard talking about this, which is nice.

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  I don't know. I think about it and it's like, you know, why wouldn't a dick be like different from like you, you just want big tits or something like, it's kind of the same thing.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you do, they're more aesthetic. They're, they're, it's more aesthetic. It's more watching them bobble around.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Unless you guys know something I don't know, you don't have to shove tits up your ass.

• 46:16Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, dude. This gay guy's completely, he does not understand straight sex at all. That's what I, that's, that's how I have sex. I put huge tits up my ass.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Hey, baby, I'd like to take those things home and uh, well, you know what I'd like to do with them.

• 46:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, dude. I just knew it. I could sense how this was gonna have that opinion. We've just known each other too long and I knew exactly how he was gonna answer that.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  What about you, hotshot? You don't want a big dick?

• 46:50Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  I think I would be a normal-ass dick guy.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:54Stavros Halkias?

  If it lines up with pussy, I guess I'd like it smaller.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. I guess. I don't think that's what's lining up with pussy, by the way. If we're doing comparisons, there's a pretty clear analog.

• 47:10Stavros Halkias?

  Me doing the exact flip side of being like, me actually doing the thing I made fun of you about doing. Or like, oh, what would gay sex be like?

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, big, big, huge dick.

• 47:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. I like, hey, listen, I like hearing that. As many people go on record on that is better. On both sides of the aisle. This is the kind of bipartisan, this is reaching across the aisle we need. The gay community, the straight community, down with huge dicks.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Down with huge dicks.

• 47:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  The most frustrating thing is I'd hook up with a lot of femme guys. And not high femme, but like bottoms, you know?

• 47:45Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  And when like, when like a cute, twinkie bottom has just like a huge, crazy cock.

• 47:51Stavros Halkias?

  That feels...

• 47:52Speaker 03

  I'm like, honestly, get, like, get it fixed.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Like, get some sort of surgery.

• 47:58Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  No, it's just too much to me.

• 48:01Stavros Halkias?

  And here's the thing, I would love to be a, they should be a donor and I would love to be a recipient for that surgery.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  You get their dick?

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  Let me get a little, let me get a little extra to flesh out.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Some of the dick, yeah.

• 48:11Stavros Halkias?

  Some of the dick. Bottoms with huge dicks should be able to donate some of their dick to small-dicked tops.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Tops and straight guys.

• 48:18Stavros Halkias?

  Or straight men, yes.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, the problem for me is that...

• 48:21Stavros Halkias?

  A universal registry. We should start the registry.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  That's beautiful. Bone marrow vibes.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Who's a match?

• 48:29Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just want everyone to come, so...

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  It's like, if you bring a huge dick around me, even though it's like a lot of work, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get you off.

• 48:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  That's the promise.

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's the midwestern, that's the good old midwestern boy in you.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  That's the promise.

• 48:41Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna get it done.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  If you wanna come and you're able, by God. With me, you will.

• 48:46Stavros Halkias?

  Golly gee, we'll make it nut.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  We'll make sure of it, you know?

• 48:50Stavros Halkias?

  I love that, man. That's a beautiful attitude to have. If only more people had that attitude.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  I know. To me, it's all about the energy, you know?

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why, you know, that you're kind of ready for a political run with that, with that stance, I think.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  What do you think it is about you and I, by the way, that we really, you and I both have this kind of like, I feel, I feel in you something that I recognize in myself, which is that I'm like,

• 49:12Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  I can kind of get along with anybody and I'm pretty unbothered.

• 49:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  What it, why, why can't more, I wonder, okay, this is the question I'm trying to ask. Do you feel as often as I do, like, why can't everyone just be cooler?

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  What is the issue?

• 49:25Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it's like, I, I do find it weird where people just don't understand you can be friends with, with people you disagree with in a lot of ways.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:35Stavros Halkias?

  Or it's like, people have lost the basic humanity and the basic, I think it's because we're, we're very hanging out focused guys.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:42Stavros Halkias?

  You know, now both of us are working a little too much for our tastes and we gotta get, we gotta get that, but, you know, stop doing that a little bit. But I think if, if you really nail down to what a perfect couple, like a week looks like, you're not really doing much.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Some dinners.

• 49:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's dinners.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Some coffees.

• 50:00Stavros Halkias?

  Some strolls.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Biking around.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  A little bike, a city bike, absolutely. And I think it's because we value hanging out and when hang, the, it's such a basic human need that what you want socially is just vibes based.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:16Stavros Halkias?

  It is not, we're not going through all like, we're not, we're not finding things to argue about. We're just, whoever's around and whoever's a chill bloke.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:26Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? You're in the mix. We'll get you in the mix. And I do think if, if people focused on hanging out more, people focus on just like, chill, community, making, just making the hang better. If we start, and that's like, I think those are building blocks of, of civilizations, just a good hang.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  People have fallen away from being good hangs, just being a good person. And then like, you know, you get, and then even when you disagree with someone, when you have built up a fundamental human connection, it's just someone you'd like to have a beer with, have a kebab with, whatever the fuck. Then you can actually discuss things in a way that's not about like, scoring points or who's right or who's wrong. It's just like, How does this actually affect us as people? And we've kind of gotten away from that. And I do think, I don't know why, I mean, probably because like we were both kids that grew up in like a a lot of downtime, a lot of unsupervised downtime, you're with your friends. I went to a lot of rec centers, my parents were always working, I feel like your mom was working.

• 51:24Stavros Halkias?

  You had to kind of make the best of situations, making the best of situations socially, just kind of, when you're on your own, it kind of primes you to just hang out with whoever.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:34Stavros Halkias?

  I think.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  We're not to talk to anybody.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 51:37Speaker 03

  And be like, there are people I don't like, of course.

• 51:39Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Like there are people I find just fucking annoying, but it's rarely ever because of some like strongly held conviction they have.

• 51:45Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  I've known plenty of like, straight, white, Christian, Republican type of people that are like genuinely good hangs.

• 51:51Stavros Halkias?

  Good hangs.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  And then there's the ones that are like fucking dorky losers about it. And I'm like, you're, it's really more that you're just like a dorky fucking loser.

• 51:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  Even though those, like, we have these things opposite of each, you know what I mean?

• 52:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I wish more people would just be like, chill out and have a nice time. And like, I don't know, it's not such a revelation, it feels crazy to me when people are like so bad at being able to just laugh at things.

• 52:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Like someone says something fucking crazy or annoying or mean to you, and just being able to be like, oh yeah, that's crazy.

• 52:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  What does it mean to me, you know what I mean? I'm still gotta have my day, so I don't know. I don't know why people have such a hard time with that right now.

• 52:29Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, I mean, not to be like the fucking, I do think it has so much to do with the internet and phones, unfortunately.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:36Stavros Halkias?

  Cause like, I wasn't on, I wasn't on Twitter at all, and then, you know, we were at Venice, I gotta see how the pony, the slicked back pony's being received.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? I, and I, also Arnold Schwarzenegger randomly retweeted me because I plugged his app.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Kidding.

• 52:53Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, shout out to the Pump app, I've been doing it, it's been going good.

• 52:56Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 52:56Stavros Halkias?

  And so I was like, I gotta fucking, because I had lost my password, I wasn't even able to log into Twitter, and then, you know, I figured it, I, we, I emailed them or whatever, I was like, hey, can I get back in here so I could be like, thank you, Arnold?

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:08Stavros Halkias?

  Can we be friends? And so, I have noticed that it's like, It's just, everything is, everything you see on there sucks dick dude.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  Oh, I got off.

• 53:17Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  I deleted my whole ass account.

• 53:19Stavros Halkias?

  And if people are on, and even, it's even started to be like, even on Instagram, it's started to kinda get like, you see some wild, some wild shit now, when it used to be, that used to be more like puppies, meals and fake, uh, big fat titties.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:32Stavros Halkias?

  The, the, you know, the holy trinity as far as I'm concerned.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  Kinda the three things I'm really interested in is like,

• 53:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:38Stavros Halkias?

  cute wholesome stuff, delicious stuff, and big ass honkers.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Right. Right, I'm hanging in there.

• 53:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's that distance.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  It's, I'm feeling far.

• 53:47Stavros Halkias?

  You can at least intellectually understand where I'm coming from here.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Well, about you liking tits?

• 53:53Stavros Halkias?

  Huge tits on my IG page.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Aesthetically, I think they're beautiful.

• 53:56Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  I think, I think breasts are beautiful.

• 53:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's all I'm looking for.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  But yeah, I don't, I wouldn't wanna do anything with them, of course.

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right, of course, and that's your right. That's your right as an American.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:09Stavros Halkias?

  But can I tell you, actually, I was, last time we, I did your podcast, I think I was telling you about, uh, com, the movie I wanna do with Fat Camp?

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  I, I thought of another one for us.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:19Stavros Halkias?

  This was just, this is a two-hander for us.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, and it's more kinda, it's kinda based on just very loose details I know about your life.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:26Stavros Halkias?

  What if,

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:28Stavros Halkias?

  tragedy strike, you know, you're off in the big city, you're the, the, the good boy that's done good, right? I'm your brother who stayed back hometown.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a real, you know, piece of shit, whatever.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:40Stavros Halkias?

  Like, like kinda who I would've been if I'd stayed in Baltimore.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, uh, doing scams, maybe I am the low-level street scammer that you, that you were thinking of.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  That I thought of immediately, yeah.

• 54:49Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I haven't re, and we have to go on some kind of caper, and, you know, we're both, we're both descended from hoarders.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Uh, maybe we find like a treasure map,

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 55:03Stavros Halkias?

  in like, uh, uh, or something in a relative's, we're going through their stuff, so, you know, our grandma passed away, whatever.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:10Stavros Halkias?

  And we find something where we have to go on a journey together to retrieve her like, lost treasures or whatever.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:16Stavros Halkias?

  How does that sound to you?

• 55:17Speaker 03

  I, I'm gonna be a hundred percent honest with you. It felt like a different movie once the treasure map entered. That felt different to me.

• 55:24Stavros Halkias?

  We don't need the treasure map, but I just thought it would be a fun. It can be, look, do we want to do a classic indie dramedy where you come back to the small town? And even though we don't get to get, you know, we finally, we're different guys, but we, yeah, we could do that. But why not get a treasure map involved?

• 55:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Yeah.

• 55:41Stavros Halkias?

  Why not get, why not make a caper out of this is what I'm saying.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Has there ever been a movie with two fat guy leads?

• 55:48Stavros Halkias?

  We could be the first, dude.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Like, I'm trying to think, is there?

• 55:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, for real. It's kind of insane to say that, but I don't think so. Not a ma- not even like a major indie, I don't think.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  This isn't that, but you know what's, this is what Hollywood, if Hollywood has any sense at all, they'll give you and I a bunch of money to remake The Blues Brothers.

• 56:06Stavros Halkias?

  They weren't fat, they weren't both fat enough at the time.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  No, but it doesn't matter. You and I as The Blues Brothers would hit.

• 56:11Stavros Halkias?

  But this is what I'm saying. It's kind of a similar going road trip movie.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:16Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I'm just saying, what did you look up that you're laughing so hard?

• 56:20Speaker 04

  I just see the AI overview that it says, there are a few movies with two main actors who are heavy set. Some movies have a comedic fat guy, skinny guy doing it.

• 56:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  That won't, won't be us.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  That's just that first heavy set.

• 56:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  Sentence got me pretty good.

• 56:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're a simpleton who loves AI, who gets delighted by AI. I forgot, I keep forgetting that about you, Aldous.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  My AI friend just said something silly. I forgive my chuckle. I've just, um.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  You guys keep going, I'm gonna look at some videos of a cat businessman cheating on his cat wife and their baby. Their baby drowning in the ocean.

• 56:54Speaker 03

  I'm gonna ask you later what you get paid, by the way. It's obviously coming up in my mind. How much is this guy getting to behave like this in the corner?

• 57:03Stavros Halkias?

  Sick how much this piece of shit makes. People with, people with real jobs would throw up if they heard. If they heard what Aldous takes home.

• 57:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not good. I do, we should, there should be, we, you and I need to lock in. Twenty twenty six, we need to make a movie.

• 57:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm telling you, dude, I like the framework of I'm the piece of shit older brother.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:22Stavros Halkias?

  That we have to reconcile and do something. Look, does it have to be a treasure map? I think that's fun.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Also, is it funnier if you're the straight laced guy and I'm the piece of shit?

• 57:31Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 57:31Speaker 03

  Is there inherent comedy in that? Of course.

• 57:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Do we run a bank together?

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Are we heisting? Who knows?

• 57:40Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  Actually.

• 57:41Stavros Halkias?

  Heist I like.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  You and I in a heist?

• 57:43Stavros Halkias?

  Heist I like.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Get a couple other comics we like in there?

• 57:45Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Make it into a heist?

• 57:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  A kind of an Ocean's 300?

• 57:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  An Ocean's 375?

• 57:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's just, yeah, what's a high blood pressure?

• 57:59Speaker 03

  Ocean's type 2?

• 58:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Ocean's 180, 140 over 58 or whatever. I don't know blood pressure enough to make this joke, but do it at home, folks.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Don't worry about it.

• 58:09Stavros Halkias?

  I gave you the template.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  I'd say you'll know the numbers in the next couple of years.

• 58:14Stavros Halkias?

  Much to the chagrin of my loved ones, I am not exactly sure what high blood pressure is.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Don't worry, those numbers are gonna come into focus very soon, I imagine.

• 58:22Stavros Halkias?

  I can figure that out by logging on to my MyChart.

• 58:28Stavros Halkias?

  A quick visit to a patient first will let me know what high blood pressure numbers are.

• 58:35Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, do we, is it time for us to do a little advice to our friend Caleb here?

• 58:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Let's jump in here. Hell, yeah.

• 58:43Stavros Halkias?

  What do you got for us? You got some good ones?

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Could it be a little lower, Eldis?

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Eldis, do me a favor. Make sure it's completely unhearable.

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome. Every time, there's a new problem that it's inconceivable that we have. You just lost track of volume this episode.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Is this better?

• 59:09Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see. No.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Almost worse.

• 59:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's probably just coming from your fucking laptop, dumbass. Jesus Christ.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  All in that.

• 59:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I can.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  That's what's going on.

• 59:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I can. Hence the overpay.

• 59:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm paying for. I'm not, he's not, not quality, just someone I can abuse.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  That's obvious. Watching the light and camera setup was pretty.

• 59:36Speaker 03

  I can't wait for the tell all about you.

• 59:42Stavros Halkias?

  All right, let's see.

• 59:47Speaker 05

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• 1:01:17Speaker 07

  Hey, what's up, Star? What's up, Eldis? I got this situation with my girlfriend. I'm 20 years old. Nah, I'm 21 now, just turned 21. She's 21. I'm in college, so she and we've been in this relationship for about five months, almost five months.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:01:34Speaker 07

  And since the beginning of the relationship, she has told me that she does not care if I fuck other girls, as long as there's no emotional connection, that she's not jealous in that way, and that as long as that I love her and I put her first, which I do, and I could fuck other girls. Now, hearing this at first, at the beginning of the relationship, I was like, alright, this bullshit is some test. It's some shit to see. She's Latina, she's um, she's venomous one. So I'm like, oh, this is some Latina shit. She's gonna be like, oh, I knew that you wanna fuck other girls after I did it.

• 1:02:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:02:09Speaker 07

  Um, but five months into the relationship, we talk about it more, and I genuinely believe her, like.

• 1:02:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:02:15Speaker 07

  She, she's just not jealous in that type of way. In fact, I just found out that it's, it's kinda like a kink for her.

• 1:02:23Stavros Halkias?

  There it is.

• 1:02:23Speaker 07

  Like, she, she confessed to me the other day that if I'm fucking another girl, she wouldn't mind, like, being in the room to watch. And then after I fuck another girl, I would fuck her.

• 1:02:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 1:02:33Speaker 07

  Out of like, uh, I don't know, like, I don't know, I don't know why, but it's kinda like a kink for her, so. She genuinely doesn't mind if I fuck other girls, and she understands that I'm not okay with her fucking other guys.

• 1:02:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:02:46Speaker 07

  And she completely understands and respects that. That's just like a difference between our boundaries, but. She gets it, and I get it, but I haven't done it because I don't know what to do. Like, do I do it? I'm, I'm twenty-one years old. I don't know if this is some, like, later on, relationship ruining ending shit. I don't think it is, because she started out this way. It's not like we started out, uh, monogamous, and then later on she changed the rules. We have been monogamous, but the rules have always been the same. I just always kinda felt weird doing it. Like, uh, cuz I haven't done, like, I don't know, I've been in another.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  He's just rambling, right?

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  Hey, Stav, I'm twenty, fuck, uh, twenty-one.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Basically, I'm dating the coolest girl in the world.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  But I'm scared.

• 1:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, that's exactly it. You can hear it in his voice. He cannot handle this.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he's not ready for this girl.

• 1:03:36Stavros Halkias?

  What this, and by the way, here's the thing. Do it anyway, man.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're twenty-one. This is fucking, oh, yeah.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  You're twenty-one, probably.

• 1:03:44Stavros Halkias?

  Birth certificate.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Best guess.

• 1:03:46Stavros Halkias?

  You're ni- somewhere between nineteen and twenty-two. Um, and clearly, the trepidation here is he knows he is not ready for this. He's being, it's like, uh, you know, he's, he's getting, it's like a rookie quarterback's being thrown into the starting job right away.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  This is the kinda guy who needs to take some, some second-team snaps. He needs to sit on the bench for a year. He needs to learn the playbook. But she's saying like.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  You're no Jackson Dart, sweetie.

• 1:04:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  You're not ready to go and shine.

• 1:04:12Stavros Halkias?

  She's looking for Jackson Dart. Look, you're, it's gonna be a mess. You're gonna fuck things up. You might be too nervous, but here's the thing, dude. This is a gift from God.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  It seems like it.

• 1:04:22Stavros Halkias?

  This is a gift from God. You have to take it.

• 1:04:27Stavros Halkias?

  Is, will she go to therapy and eventually stop behaving like this? Yes. 100%.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Do we look forward to that day?

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Are we happy for her when she does that?

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:38Stavros Halkias?

  But are we happy for you now?

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:40Stavros Halkias?

  You, you are, you are literally, you did nothing wrong here. A beautiful gift has been dropped in your lap and you're too nervous to unwrap it. Just unwrap it, man. Open Pandora's box. Nothing bad happens. I don't remember how that fable ends.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  It's good. Well, you open it and all the good stuff comes out.

• 1:04:58Stavros Halkias?

  Bunch of good shit comes, a good, cool stuff comes out. Basically what I'm saying to you is, now, if you were in your 30s and a girl and someone who you were like, I want to get married to, said this to you, I would tread a lot lighter.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right? You're both young. This isn't gonna last anyway.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  I also, I would say maybe work, work for you, my brother, on the impulse that she, she, he's basically like, yeah, my girlfriend communicated like really clearly and effectively a way she feels about something and, I don't know, I just feel like she's a crazy bitch who's trying to trap me.

• 1:05:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this could be Latina tricks.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  This could be that age old Latina trickery.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  I think maybe she's just telling you what she's into.

• 1:05:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, which I actually do commend her for. Do, and it's clearly some kind of desire for her.

• 1:05:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  Cause like, she's, she's, this is not, she wouldn't be like, oh, by the way, you can fuck other girls, whatever, ho-hum, whatever. No, nobody says that.

• 1:05:52Speaker 03

  Then the truth comes out. I want to watch.

• 1:05:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  It's a different thing.

• 1:05:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's a different thing. And like I said, yes, this is something she will be cured of, hopefully at some point in her life. Or she continues to be awesome. I can, I can tell you. But, right now, go for it. There's no prob, I have, I have not heard a single problem here.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  I personally believe women.

• 1:06:10Stavros Halkias?

  Me too.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  I believe women, and if she's saying, "I want you to fuck other girls," and I'm cool with...

• 1:06:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm watching, and you come fuck me?

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  And she's cool with not fucking other guys? I believe her.

• 1:06:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  Go for it, brother. Have a good time. Not a single problem was communicated in this voice now.

• 1:06:28Stavros Halkias?

  Just that he... The biggest problem is that he might not be able to handle it.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  He also does not know his age, which really does crack me up.

• 1:06:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Twenty-one also is not an insignificant birthday.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  So that's also a funny thing to be like, "Ah, I can't remember." It's not like when a thirty-five-year-old is like, "Oh, fuck, am I thirty-four, thirty-five?" Twenty to twenty-one is like one of the only ones that counts.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you have a huge party at a bar for the first time. You get the... Even though you've been drinking, you're like, "I'm gonna go to a bar and legally drink." Like, it's a huge birthday.

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  You'll forget that one.

• 1:06:56Stavros Halkias?

  You don't. But yeah, this sounds awesome. I'm jealous. You talk about what it would take for me to settle down. A little situation like this wouldn't hurt.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna let a woman go through that with you. I'll be vetting the woman you settle down with, and she'll be traditional.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  She'll be making fucking Coca-Cola from scratch in the kitchen.

• 1:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  You want me to have a trad wife?

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:07:21Speaker 03

  You'll be like, "I want Cheerios," and she'll be like, "Let me whip some up." Like, this is... We're getting you someone traditional. I'm not getting you a fiery Latina with ulterior motives.

• 1:07:30Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds so cool, though.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  No, man.

• 1:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  Please, Caleb, please.

• 1:07:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:07:35Stavros Halkias?

  What if I'm really good? What if I'm really good in the next couple of years?

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  Let's see you be really good, and we'll talk about it.

• 1:07:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit. All right, let's play it. So, yeah, good luck, buddy. Go for it. This sounds awesome. We're rooting for you. Give us another question, LD.

• 1:07:52Speaker 08

  Hi, Savvy. Hi, Elvis. Longtime listener, first-time caller. Saw you in Oklahoma City this year. Love you. I am going through a personal conflict where I feel bad about my opinions, even though I know I'm not a bad person or don't think I'm a bad person. But everyone who says they're not a bad person has kind of a con. So maybe I am. I'm not sure. And...

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible.

• 1:08:19Stavros Halkias?

  I see the light, but it's fucking low as fuck. And you're... It seems like you're being deafened in your headphones.

• 1:08:32Stavros Halkias?

  The amount of money this show makes.

• 1:08:34Speaker 08

  Hi, Stevie. Hi, Elvis. Longtime listener, first time caller. Saw you in Oklahoma City this year. Love you. I am going through a personal conflict where I feel bad.

• 1:08:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:08:45Speaker 08

  About my opinion, even though I know I'm not a bad person or don't think.

• 1:08:49Stavros Halkias?

  Like, he fixed it, but if it happens again, he will have to try a bunch of knobs he's never touched before. Okay, she came to Oklahoma City. Keep going.

• 1:09:00Speaker 08

  About my opinions, even though I know I'm not a bad person or don't think I'm a bad person. But everyone who says they're not a bad person is kind of a con. So maybe I am. I'm not sure. And I am going through a divorce. My ex, years ago, found a pair of underwear, left them, asked him about them, let him convince me that they were mine, even though I knew better. But I was like, okay, I love him. Maybe I black out at a two for five sale. Target can get you sometimes. Then I found out that he was like heavily using other drugs on top of his opioid addiction.

• 1:09:39Speaker 08

  And that led to like crossdressing and some anal play or things along that.

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  The drugs didn't lead. This is the most Oklahoma City shit I've ever heard in my life. Well, you know, when he's having an extra drug addiction on top of the standard opioid addiction for living in Oklahoma.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Unmentioned, assumed, silent, royal. It's like the royal you. Well, the opioid addiction that's there for everyone.

• 1:10:07Stavros Halkias?

  You live in Oklahoma. You're gonna be on opioids.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:10:10Stavros Halkias?

  And that led to crossdressing and butt play, apparently.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know what they say, every drug addict starts wearing dresses.

• 1:10:17Speaker 03

  I'm gonna tell you right now, without knowing the guy at all, the crossdressing led to the drugs.

• 1:10:24Speaker 03

  The drugs didn't open up the crossdressing. You were ashamed of the crossdressing and didn't need to be.

• 1:10:30Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  And you said, what about opioids?

• 1:10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. Fully, fully. Keep going, Elvis.

• 1:10:36Speaker 08

  Some anal play or things along that nature.

• 1:10:39Stavros Halkias?

  How the fuck did that happen?

• 1:10:40Speaker 08

  I.

• 1:10:42Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry about it.

• 1:10:47Stavros Halkias?

  The people at home don't understand how much Ellis is fucking up because you're not gonna get the in-studio feed, but the audio has fluctuated wild, more wildly, and these aren't our first episodes in this studio either. He's worked out the kinks, but-

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  Somehow during the pause, the volume went up 20%, minimum, and nothing changed that I saw. It's almost magic. Fucking David Copperfield over here.

• 1:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he really is the David Blaine of podcast producers. Go ahead, Ellis.

• 1:11:15Speaker 08

  And I, I accepted it and I was like, okay, fine. I'll peg you. I was like the fairy godmother of butt shit, but I, I clearly did not care for it and it was weird seeing a grown ass man in a bra and panties that I didn't sign up for. And we are like getting a divorce or they're in the process and now I feel like he's shaming me and making me feel like I need not being a fan of it means there's something wrong with me. And I just wanna know, like, is there a boundary? Do you just accept the one no matter what and-

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:11:58Speaker 08

  That's okay? Or is it like, hey, I didn't sign up for this shit and it's okay that I didn't sign up for it? Like you do, you go. Let me know. Thanks.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  Well, I, here's what I'll say. No, you don't have to be into pegging your husband in a bra and panties. Of course not.

• 1:12:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, well, well, red state Caleb rears his ugly head again.

• 1:12:19Speaker 03

  But I will say the venom in her voice when she said twice, "I didn't sign up for this shit," is like, oh, okay, he might have a point somewhere.

• 1:12:28Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's just, I, we don't, it's gotta be tough for somebody who's like lying. It's tough because somebody's lying to themselves and you feel bad for them, but in that, the person that I always kind of give a pass to is the partner who's somehow like also in the dark completely-

• 1:12:47Speaker 03

  100%.

• 1:12:48Stavros Halkias?

  And thinks they've like- Married a completely different person.

• 1:12:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:52Stavros Halkias?

  So, and I, as long as, I, I agree with you. There was a little stank on that.

• 1:12:56Speaker 03

  There's a little bit of.

• 1:12:57Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't sign up for it, but it's, I think, I kind of, I excuse that as long as her overall stance is, hey, listen, go figure it out, do whatever you need to do.

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  100%.

• 1:13:07Stavros Halkias?

  But you also kinda fucked my life up for like,

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:11Stavros Halkias?

  seven years, or whatever, however long it was to figure it out. And I think she also, you know, got gaslit into, I mean, it is very funny to be like, the panties were, it's like, it wasn't a different woman, it was his panties.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  No, you participated in a delusion.

• 1:13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  This woman participated. She goes, well, I just convinced myself, sometimes Target runs. I'm like, no. You participated in the delusion. You wanted the relationship that you lied to yourself about.

• 1:13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:13:36Speaker 03

  And of cour-, yeah, you don't have to be into pegging this guy.

• 1:13:38Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:13:39Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 1:13:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  But I will say, the way she said it makes me think that,

• 1:13:44Stavros Halkias?

  But don't.

• 1:13:44Speaker 03

  there might be something we don't know.

• 1:13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, don't you think it was like, I mean, depending on how long this relationship was?

• 1:13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:51Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I ha-, it's like, we say this also sometimes on the like, on the flip side, when somebody's, like, when a guy has been gaslit by like, a much hotter, like, crazy woman, where it's like, we don't want you to be a misogynist, but sometimes it's like, chemotherapy, where you need a little poison to get over a relationship.

• 1:14:09Speaker 03

  Venom to get out of that one.

• 1:14:10Stavros Halkias?

  Venom to just, so that you don't Venmo her $2,000 when she asks. You know what I mean? Like, it's okay to just like, to basically like lash out in a way that protects you. And as long as that's what she's doing, she's like, I don't want to get sucked back into this, I'm pissed off. As long as it's not, I will give her a couple months of like, of ignorance.

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Stavros Halkias?

  Because this guy fucked her life up to a cer-, you know, like, She thought she was getting, it's, it's not as bad as getting cheated on, but it is like, you were lied to about who you thought was your life partner.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  And you don't have to be into that.

• 1:14:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're totally allowed to get a divorce.

• 1:14:52Stavros Halkias?

  What I'm saying is I'll give her a little venom.

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  You give her the venom, I'm gonna ask some questions. I'd like to hear a voicemail from the guy personally.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:14:58Speaker 03

  I wish we could hear from him.

• 1:14:59Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to hear that too.

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  Now, I wanna hear a lot from him, cuz I think this is fascinating.

• 1:15:04Stavros Halkias?

  It is fascinating.

• 1:15:05Speaker 03

  I wanna know about the opioid addiction.

• 1:15:06Stavros Halkias?

  Me too.

• 1:15:07Speaker 03

  I wanna know about the, the crossdressing. I wanna know, I, it's, the crossdressing thing is so, so interesting to me because it, sometimes it's a, it's a trial run for transitioning.

• 1:15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:15:19Speaker 03

  And I find that very interesting. And then sometimes it isn't. And sometimes it's just a straight up different thing.

• 1:15:23Stavros Halkias?

  More interesting, actually.

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 1:15:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like the, just a guy who's ki- it's like kind of, kind of an old fashioned crossdr- just crossdresser.

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I find that more, cuz like transitioning, I understand. It's like.

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 1:15:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, wrong, you're like, you wanna switch up. You're in the wrong zone. Guy's like, no, I'm a cis male who's also, sometimes I like to fucking put on some tights and

• 1:15:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:44Stavros Halkias?

  get, have my wife, uh, throw a J dildo up my ass.

• 1:15:49Speaker 03

  I put on Victoria's Secret and I get treated like a dirty old slut. And then I go back to the job site.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 1:15:56Stavros Halkias?

  Those guys are way more interesting to me on some level.

• 1:15:58Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:15:59Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz it's like, it, cuz the, on the spectrum, the gradations to me are the more interesting ones.

• 1:16:04Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:16:05Stavros Halkias?

  You know, cuz trans is almost like, kind of old fashioned.

• 1:16:08Speaker 03

  You think?

• 1:16:08Stavros Halkias?

  At this point, it's like, well, you just flip them from one to the other. But I like people who are like, I'm kind of in the middle.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 1:16:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  Do you know Hayden Johnson?

• 1:16:16Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:16:17Speaker 03

  She's a trans comedian, she's very funny. Uh, she has a, a great joke about this that I'll butcher, but she's like, she's like, yeah, for a while, I, uh, I was non-binary and I was like, gender is fake, it's a construct, it's stupid, it's silly, we put it on people to oppress them.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:16:31Speaker 03

  And then I realized I was a trans woman and it was kinda like, I'm a girl.

• 1:16:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's basically. I like dresses.

• 1:16:41Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that's kind of what I mean.

• 1:16:42Speaker 03

  She's so funny.

• 1:16:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's really funny.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  So fucking funny.

• 1:16:45Stavros Halkias?

  Is she in New York or is she?

• 1:16:46Speaker 03

  Uh, she's in LA.

• 1:16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's very, very funny.

• 1:16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's kind of what I mean though is like, there is like, in the middle, you get a lot of like, sort of academic treatises about what gender is, what you think, you're a little bit of this, you're a little bit of that. And then, yeah, on the two extremes, it's just like, you know.

• 1:17:02Speaker 03

  Girls do one thing, guys do another.

• 1:17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I want, yeah.

• 1:17:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like that.

• 1:17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:08Speaker 03

  Well, that's like, most of the trans guys I know are like, they're like masculine in a way that I couldn't even work at.

• 1:17:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:17:14Speaker 03

  They're like genuinely fixing trucks.

• 1:17:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:16Speaker 03

  And I'm like, whoa, you guys really, you bought in on the man stuff.

• 1:17:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  Fuck yeah, hell yeah.

• 1:17:20Stavros Halkias?

  And I respect that.

• 1:17:21Speaker 03

  And I need help with my car.

• 1:17:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Speaker 03

  So this is great. This is really good for me.

• 1:17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's like some, like the, with religion, the, the phrase is like, the biggest zealot is the convert.

• 1:17:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Where you're like, when you're like, I'm switching up everything about me because I love this.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, yeah, you're more of a man than me.

• 1:17:38Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:17:39Stavros Halkias?

  I just kind of was born into this bullshit, you know what I mean?

• 1:17:42Speaker 03

  I'm vibing with it because it's what I got.

• 1:17:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I can't fix, my dad's a carpenter, I can't fix shit, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just, I'm an artist, I do podcasts, you know what I mean? Like, I, it is a waste of masculinity.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:56Stavros Halkias?

  This frame, oh, this, this is the, like I said, I should be fixing the HVAC in my own,

• 1:18:00Speaker 03

  You should be a laborer.

• 1:18:01Stavros Halkias?

  I 100% should be a, a laborer.

• 1:18:04Speaker 03

  Instead you exploit labor for capital.

• 1:18:07Stavros Halkias?

  Well, let's not call what El just does labor.

• 1:18:09Speaker 03

  Unfortunately, it's looking like it. He was laboring over that sound button.

• 1:18:14Stavros Halkias?

  I wish he was a white collar. I have a blue collar mind doing white collar work.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  I've put makeup on a pig.

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  No, you're doing a great job, El.

• 1:18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Good job. But yeah, you're not a bad person, it's just like, but give the other guy some grace. I would say you get a little grace period to be pissed off because, you know, your life kind of got fucked up. But after that, let's chill. He's going through some weird shit. He's an opioid addict, cross dresser in Oklahoma, not an easy guy to be. And then just move on. You're okay. You know, you weren't into butt stuff. Who knows? He might find a woman who's into pegging him and then he'll live happily ever after.

• 1:18:56Speaker 03

  And kudos to her, by the way, for trying it.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  I do.

• 1:18:59Speaker 03

  I think that's cool as far.

• 1:19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Tip my cap to you for that as well.

• 1:19:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's really cool to be like, we'll see.

• 1:19:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  And then going, not for me.

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:06Speaker 03

  More, I will say more people sexually in general need to try some stuff.

• 1:19:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:10Speaker 03

  We have a problem with not trying.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:19:12Speaker 03

  Just try it out.

• 1:19:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  And then you can have a bad time and go, oh, I don't like this. Can we stop? Or can we not do that again?

• 1:19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Speaker 03

  Not a big deal.

• 1:19:19Stavros Halkias?

  Not a big deal at all.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:20Stavros Halkias?

  You're in a good relationship where it feels safe? Dabble.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  Try.

• 1:19:24Stavros Halkias?

  Have some the sexual equivalent of Ethiopian food, for example.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:27Stavros Halkias?

  You've only, you've been a burgers guy?

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Go get some, go have, have sushi for the first time.

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  You're used to a fork and knife. Try it with your hand.

• 1:19:34Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly right.

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  Let's see what happens.

• 1:19:36Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get some roadie in the mix.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:38Stavros Halkias?

  I just had, I just had fucking, uh, fucks. Surinamese food for the first time?

• 1:19:42Speaker 03

  It's good.

• 1:19:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's fucking good.

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  Was it in Amsterdam?

• 1:19:45Stavros Halkias?

  Amsterdam.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:19:46Stavros Halkias?

  So fucking good.

• 1:19:46Speaker 03

  It's good over there.

• 1:19:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's the best.

• 1:19:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:48Stavros Halkias?

  And why? Not a chill reason why it's good.

• 1:19:51Speaker 03

  Talking about it. I'm not into talking about why some cultures end up somewhere that you wouldn't expect them. I don't like talking about that.

• 1:19:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when you're, when a European country that otherwise has bad food has a really good, whether it's Indian or Surinamese, didn't happen in a chill way, but you know.

• 1:20:08Speaker 03

  But I'm enjoying the outcome.

• 1:20:09Stavros Halkias?

  What am I not gonna have the food now?

• 1:20:11Speaker 03

  The reality is what happened was very evil, but I'm just, it's Tuesday for me.

• 1:20:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's, I'm on vacation.

• 1:20:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I'm gonna have dinner. I have to have dinner today, no matter what happens.

• 1:20:21Stavros Halkias?

  So colonialism existed or it didn't, I was eating something today.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Wish it hadn't. Would have stopped it if I could. I'm going to dinner. That's what I know.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. What else we got, little LD?

• 1:20:33Speaker 09

  Hey, stop. Eldis, Steve, guess. I just, I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet, but I just didn't know how to curse. See, I'm twenty eight. My parents are dead. Hmm. My grandparents are dead from both sides. My closest aunt, dead. Um, one of my uncles, dead. Jesus Christ. Two of my four, two of the three people I hung out with the most in middle school, dead. Uh, child, another childhood friend, dead. High school acquaintance, dead. Jesus. And then another childhood friend, dead. And then just this month, um. Oh, no. Another one of my childhood best friends passed away. Oof. Now, I don't know if I'm just fucking cursed, but I think it's odd that like

• 1:21:19Speaker 09

  all of my friends are like dying. Sure. My, all my family is dying. It's not like I live in like a rough area. I live in a suburb-y, suburb-y area. And like, there's no reoccurring factor in deaths besides cancer to three of my relatives. But I'm talking about like, one of my friends died from drowning, another one from a hit and run, another one was shot. Damn, dude. My late, another one had an asthma attack while smoking weed, dumbass. Oh, that is really scary. I don't know how my latest friend died, but I'm assuming it was an overdose or a suicide because there was no news coverage of like any crazy car accidents he was in.

• 1:22:00Speaker 09

  His family's talking about, uh, respect their privacy, so I'm not gonna ask them. Damn. But you know, based off context clues, I'm assuming he was, he kinda was a wild child. He was a party animal. It was like, I don't know if, uh, most people who are twenty eight should have experienced this much grief and loss from Yeah. friends and relatives yet. And I gotta say, it's fucking with me. Yeah, of course. It's a lot to hold on to. Um, any type of advice would be great. Uh, yes, I currently am in therapy for unrelated reasons, but unrelated? I will be talking about this stuff here soon. Um, thank you for any advice or whatever you guys want to give.

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  11th hour crazy turn.

• 1:22:46Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know.

• 1:22:47Speaker 03

  Cause at first, here's the arc of the voicemail.

• 1:22:49Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in therapy for my kleptomania, but.

• 1:22:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, the, the, the first part is only funny. I wanna hug this guy so bad.

• 1:22:54Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it's tough.

• 1:22:55Speaker 03

  The first part's only funny because he's doing it like a joke.

• 1:22:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dead man.

• 1:22:58Speaker 03

  I'm 28 years old, mom, dad, dead, grandparents dead, best friend from high school, dead. He even does like a, he goes, and then last week, my other friend passed away. He like, he like changes it up on us.

• 1:23:09Stavros Halkias?

  It was good. I would, I guess my first piece of advice would be, give back the jewelry from the elderly gypsy woman you took it from.

• 1:23:17Speaker 03

  Carry her up the hill like you promised you would. Stop shirking that responsibility.

• 1:23:23Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus. Whatever cursed Towesman you stole from an elderly Roma, member of the Roma community, return it post haste. I can't think of anything that would have caused this. I built a casino on some land that were, I guess it technically was a burial ground, but.

• 1:23:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  I took out a, a, an infant's tomb to put it in a below ground pool, but that shouldn't have done anything.

• 1:23:48Speaker 03

  It was an infant and it was dead. I don't know. Dude, this sucks. This is really tough.

• 1:23:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I, I would say the first thing is that it seems crazy, but you are not cursed, right?

• 1:24:00Speaker 03

  You're not cursed.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's tough when something this insane happens to be, yeah, to be, but like that shit doesn't exist. And statistically, some people have awesome lives. I mean, like we said, we started this episode saying we hit a hilarious lottery and some people have shit, bad shit happens to you.

• 1:24:18Speaker 03

  Stop.

• 1:24:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm serious.

• 1:24:19Speaker 03

  Stop, stop. I'm so sorry, but you going, hey, man. Cookie Crumbles is like, we're doing great.

• 1:24:24Stavros Halkias?

  We're doing good.

• 1:24:25Speaker 03

  For you, it's not so hot.

• 1:24:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's loss, it's unspeakable loss, but that is how the world works.

• 1:24:31Speaker 03

  That is how it goes.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  What do you want me to say?

• 1:24:32Speaker 03

  I don't think we're supposed to say it, but that is how the world goes.

• 1:24:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's the truth. And unfortunately, it's like, I mean, look, one thing is that there is some things that are, like you said, cancer in your family, that's real, right? That's genetic. And I would say, go fuck and make sure you're checked the fuck up to the gills, right? Because that, that is the one thing that's not random. It's like genetic stuff. I mean, there's a reason this happens. Unfortunately, some families just have it in their, you know, in, in your DNA and just make sure you're checked up. But everything else, it's like.

• 1:25:02Stavros Halkias?

  It sucks, it's horrible, you should be in there before this, not whatever, whatever the fuck you're in there for.

• 1:25:10Speaker 03

  The side subject.

• 1:25:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're a people pleaser, not as important. Not as important as dealing with this level of grief. And as hard as it is to like, internalize and think you're not cursed, you have to, you have to say, not only you're not cursed, but if you wanna spin it, it's like.

• 1:25:26Speaker 03

  You're blessed.

• 1:25:27Stavros Halkias?

  You're not blessed, I'm not gonna tell you to say that.

• 1:25:30Speaker 03

  No, everyone around you is dying and you're not, brother, you're the chosen one.

• 1:25:33Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, yeah, yeah. Actually, it's better to be the, even if you were, it's better to be the cursed one than the collateral damage around the cursed one. You know what I mean?

• 1:25:41Speaker 03

  Well, no, think about it this way, most people you've met have not died.

• 1:25:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:25:45Speaker 03

  Now, your record is higher than most.

• 1:25:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  But most people you've met have not died.

• 1:25:50Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent, and also, not to be like, corny or whatever, but the best thing you could do for the people that you lost early is like, have an awesome life.

• 1:25:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:58Stavros Halkias?

  Have the kind of life that they want, wanted you to have, right? And it's like, that can be very difficult, you can feel bogged down by it, but as fucked up as it is, like horrible shit happens in our world, like, and by and large, we're pretty lucky in this country, the rest of the world's way more fucked up.

• 1:26:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:16Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and it's like, you're not cursed, some bad shit happened, you had some real bad luck, and all you can do is try and deal with the grief, deal with it, you know, move forward, and like, it's gonna take you a while, and you gotta be nice to yourself, right? Because that's the hard thing, feeling like you're, like, there, if there's days where you just cannot, where you're overwhelmed by grief, that's understandable. A lot of times, it's like showing grace to yourself in a moment like this, where you're like, well, I should, you know, either I'm cursed, or even if I'm not, I should be over this stuff, and it's like, not really, dude, no one, everyone deals with this shit in different ways, and you just have to deal with it, and, you know, understand it's gonna be hard, and continue going to therapy, and live as good a life as you can for the people that you lost, I think, is all you can do.

• 1:27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's no like, leaving it behind, there's just moving with it, with grief, and I think, I don't know if this is helpful or not, to me, it's helpful, sometimes you just have to be sad and be like, fuck, I- I'm having a bad time. Things are bad. I'm not doing well. But what helps me on days when I'm feeling down is to like, really like, try and meditate on the fact that like, if you wake up able to move your own body and in a house that has like, any kind of like, can keep you from the elements, and you have clean water to drink, you are like, living in like, the top 1% of people who have ever lived on the earth.

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, in human history.

• 1:27:33Speaker 03

  In human history, let alone right now even.

• 1:27:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:35Speaker 03

  And so I'm like, there, there is some level of like, you're here, that's a miracle to be here at all. And it won't last for very long. So like, try and, try and keep that in the center of your mind as you're moving through it. But like, yeah, some days are just gonna suck.

• 1:27:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:27:49Speaker 03

  Tough.

• 1:27:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's tough.

• 1:27:51Speaker 03

  I love this guy, though. I want to give him a big hug.

• 1:27:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he seems like a nice guy and you're, all these are kind of keeping it together.

• 1:27:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like, this is fucked up, dude. Understand that. You're not cursed, but something really fucked up happened to you, and just keep moving forward.

• 1:28:06Speaker 03

  I would say move it to, yeah, I would say top, top of the therapy list.

• 1:28:09Stavros Halkias?

  I would say start with this in therapy.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, move this one up. I don't know if you've told your therapist about this yet, but I think lifting the curse should probably be the thing that you ask her about.

• 1:28:19Stavros Halkias?

  And I would also say, let's knock grandparents off the list.

• 1:28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:28:22Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's like, you know, let's not, we don't need to pad our stats.

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:26Stavros Halkias?

  Shit's going bad, like, you know?

• 1:28:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:28Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, an old grandparent, that's kind of a curse.

• 1:28:31Speaker 03

  It's like, I think, he said like, all of his grandparents are dead. That's kind of crazy stuff.

• 1:28:36Speaker 04

  I'm that, no, he also said like, my best friend from like, middle school, it's like, did you remain close?

• 1:28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:28:43Speaker 04

  Are the deaths of your family really embellishing the importance of like, your old cool classmate friend, whatever?

• 1:28:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, let's not look, like, there is some fucked up shit that's happened to you, but it's like, let's not lump it in with grandparents and some guy you don't even fucking talk about, talk to.

• 1:28:59Speaker 03

  I will say, the part that made me the most sad was when he said the family's asking for privacy. I hate when they do that.

• 1:29:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  Tell me what happened.

• 1:29:05Stavros Halkias?

  Tell me.

• 1:29:05Speaker 03

  I, you can, and there's ways to code it. You can be like, oh, wear your seatbelt, you know, like, there's ways to let me know what happened. You gotta let me know.

• 1:29:13Stavros Halkias?

  He says his boy's a party animal. It's, I think usually it's like, drugs or suicide in those, in those cases. But yes, you should let him. This should be a couple, it should be like close friends. If you were on his Instagram, close friends, you should get a hint.

• 1:29:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. It usually where I'm from, when, when a, like a farmer kills himself, which is not, not often.

• 1:29:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:35Speaker 03

  Farming accident.

• 1:29:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:36Speaker 03

  You just go, oh, he killed himself. Got it, you know?

• 1:29:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:39Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 1:29:40Stavros Halkias?

  He laid motionless in front of a tractor.

• 1:29:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:44Stavros Halkias?

  While it slowly ran him over.

• 1:29:46Speaker 03

  Hazard of the job, yeah. Watch out for those grain bins, yeah.

• 1:29:51Speaker 03

  Tough, tough shit.

• 1:29:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. Give us another one and then, you know, we gotta wrap up soon. We've got a very busy man on the couch here, Aldous.

• 1:29:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, you guys are taking liberties.

• 1:30:05Stavros Halkias?

  Excellent.

• 1:30:07Speaker 05

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• 1:30:49Speaker 05

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• 1:31:07Speaker 06

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• 1:31:37Speaker 10

  Hi, staff. Big fan. I just have a general question that I would love to get your input on. I'm wondering, where are we at with Bushes?

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  Bush?

• 1:31:47Speaker 10

  Me, you know, me and my friends are all very pro-Bush. We say this is the summer of Bush, Bush is out. But also, me and my friends are all like really queer, gay, you know, that kind of thing. And we live in the Pacific Northwest. And so, we kind of have our own little bubble. So, I'm just wondering, as someone who is more, you know, around cis, straight, normal people, you know, what is, what is the world's opinion on Bushes? Because I personally like want to live in a world where like I can go swimming in a public place and, you know, go Bush out and not have to worry about it.

• 1:32:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:32:20Speaker 10

  But I also, I don't know, I'm just curious. So, let me know. Thank you so much. Bye.

• 1:32:26Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, it does feel like there is a, that Bush is back. It does feel like Bush is having a huge moment right now. Go ahead, Caleb. I'm not involved. I don't-

• 1:32:38Stavros Halkias?

  Surely, you've heard some of this, though. I don't know anything about what's going on with Bush. Really? I don't know what the girls are feeling about it, thinking about it. I think it's back. I send, you think so? I think so. I send them love. I think the total wax might be out of vogue right now. I also think it makes sense because it's like a very, very small, almost like it can be looked at as a political act- Yeah. -in a world where women are under attack. It's like, you know what? We're growing our pussy hair out. Grow the Bush. You know? And I do think it's, I do, I have sensed something in the air that it is back. Bush. But that, at least, at least, you know, I've, I've heard, I've heard rumors of it coming back. Swirlings are coming back. I don't know that it's fully back.

• 1:33:22Stavros Halkias?

  I think definitely it'll start somewhere like the Pacific Northwest in the queer community, and then it kind of trickles down, like, like a lot of culture. Yeah. Gay people are kind of at the, I remember, I remember when I saw gay guys wearing big pants, I was like- It's coming. It's coming. Three years ago, I saw a couple gay guys in big pants. I was like, huh? Uh-oh. That's interesting. I'll be having to do that soon.

• 1:33:46Stavros Halkias?

  And this just might be the way it is with bush as well. And you know, I think there's nothing, I've even seen kind of the like, I've seen like,

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  even women who maybe traditionally would go full wax or like very manicured, now they've gone to a manicured bush. So it's not like, not everyone's letting it go crazy. So I think everyone is going a little more, if you were a completely, if you were a zero hair person, you're going to like manicured bush. If you're like, I'm a little up top. It's kind, the bushometer is just kind of trending towards full bush, in my opinion.

• 1:34:19Speaker 03

  I've, I've always found it weird when someone has a problem with pubic hair.

• 1:34:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:23Speaker 03

  When someone's like, oh, I like it shaved. I'm like, that's weird to me.

• 1:34:26Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:34:26Speaker 03

  I don't like that.

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if, if you have a completely particular way that you want thing, you know, you want somebody else's like genitals to look.

• 1:34:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:36Stavros Halkias?

  And they are against it and you insist, that's fucking weird.

• 1:34:39Speaker 03

  Strange.

• 1:34:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:40Speaker 03

  Really strange shit, yeah.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  And I think in general, it's like, you know, I, I, I may just kind of keep it, I don't give a fuck, obviously I don't give, I like to just keep my shit just so it's not overgrown. I don't want to look crazy.

• 1:34:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:53Stavros Halkias?

  You know, also like we, you know, optically, can't, can't have, can't have my little ass dick lost in the jungle.

• 1:35:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:00Stavros Halkias?

  You know, so I'd like to trim it a little bit, but it's, you know, to each, to each their own and I think, but I think, I think the dial has been turned towards bush a little bit here.

• 1:35:10Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 1:35:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:11Speaker 03

  I'm a fan of finding out on the day. Let's find out on the day.

• 1:35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  I don't need nudes. You know gay guys are big on the nudes.

• 1:35:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:35:19Speaker 03

  I don't need you to smear nudes. Whatever you got going on in the day, if the energy's right,

• 1:35:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:22Speaker 03

  I'll be happy with it.

• 1:35:23Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that.

• 1:35:24Speaker 03

  I'll be pleased with it all.

• 1:35:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess the older I've got, I think as a, as a, in my youth, I liked nudes as a just, I don't know, I don't know why, just as a symbol of getting, of a girl like being like definitely wanting to fuck, I guess.

• 1:35:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:37Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm with you.

• 1:35:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Surprise me on the day.

• 1:35:40Speaker 03

  I like to know on the day.

• 1:35:41Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:35:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a little gift to unwrap for me.

• 1:35:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:44Speaker 03

  I find out.

• 1:35:44Stavros Halkias?

  Is there any, what, what are the bush, what's going on in the gay community, bush wise, gay male community?

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  All the guys I'm fucking are having pubic hair.

• 1:35:52Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm liking it for them.

• 1:35:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:54Speaker 03

  I'm having pubic hair.

• 1:35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 1:35:56Speaker 03

  You know, I keep my stuff manicured.

• 1:35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Got it. I, will I take a Norelco one blade to my nuts every once in a while? Yeah.

• 1:36:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's, and it's like, it's like an afternoon. I might, let me stand in the shower, get the Norelco one blade out.

• 1:36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:36:10Speaker 03

  I'm gonna nick, every time I nick the sack a little bit. It starts to bleed and I get scared.

• 1:36:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I cut the nutsack every time.

• 1:36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:17Stavros Halkias?

  It's tough. It's hard. It's, that's not, that's skin that's tough to shave.

• 1:36:21Speaker 03

  It's really tough to shave.

• 1:36:22Stavros Halkias?

  Very wrinkly.

• 1:36:23Speaker 03

  Wrinkly and hard to get to. And when you're fat, it's like, let's not kid about the angles.

• 1:36:26Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:36:26Speaker 03

  There's a lot of angles and folds.

• 1:36:28Stavros Halkias?

  There, it's a, it's a, it's an exercise of faith to trim your pubes as a fat man.

• 1:36:32Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:36:32Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you're like, I hope, hopefully there's not one strip.

• 1:36:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:36:36Stavros Halkias?

  Hopefully I haven't left a little mohawk.

• 1:36:37Speaker 03

  And I almost always do.

• 1:36:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:39Speaker 03

  But maturity, I think, growth, growing up, is knowing that it's two days before the date. It's not the hour before the date. Don't go to the date with a bloody nutsack.

• 1:36:47Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, that's very.

• 1:36:48Speaker 03

  Grow up.

• 1:36:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? That's really smart.

• 1:36:50Speaker 03

  Grow up.

• 1:36:51Stavros Halkias?

  And I definitely, I would like to say I'm, I would never even considered the two days before, but I have gotten to like, the morning.

• 1:36:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:00Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you wanna have a shower, you don't want loose pubes being found.

• 1:37:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know? But yeah, good luck for you. Good, I think you're, I think you're on to something there. I think you're, you've got your finger on the pulse, bush-wise.

• 1:37:11Speaker 03

  I tapped out of your voicemail. I don't know what you said. I heard the bush intro. I knew it was exclusively for Stavi. You also didn't say hello to the guest when you started the voicemail, so.

• 1:37:20Stavros Halkias?

  And you found that disrespectful.

• 1:37:21Speaker 03

  I found that disrespectful. Two of the ones that we listened to did that.

• 1:37:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:37:24Speaker 03

  And I won't be forgetting those. And so, I don't care what happens with your pubes, darling.

• 1:37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that's, do you have something very quick for us to go? A goodbye one, Eldis? Well, great.

• 1:37:38Speaker 11

  Stavi, Eldis, esteemed and revered guest.

• 1:37:43Stavros Halkias?

  And revered.

• 1:37:43Speaker 11

  I appreciate your time today. I have an ethics question.

• 1:37:47Stavros Halkias?

  Ethics.

• 1:37:47Speaker 11

  I had a moment of weakness where I looked at some of my exes and I found out my most recent ex, and the guy she started banging while I was in the process of moving out in our home,

• 1:38:01Speaker 11

  they got married and he is currently on trial for a hit-and-run felony. And I, after I got done laughing, I realized that he has a $4,000, um, fine. And. It's open to the public if someone wants to pay it. And I was wondering how ethical it would be to just pay a dollar at a time. Just so they're wondering what the hell is going on.

• 1:38:33Speaker 11

  Just, just to fuck with them a little bit. I don't know. I, I don't, I don't contact these people and I don't, I don't do anything like that, but. I just, I, I felt mischievous and I was wondering what your ethical, um, opinion on that might be. But thank you very much. I love y'all and, uh, have a wonderful day.

• 1:38:52Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is insane. You know that he has a open hit and run case?

• 1:38:58Speaker 03

  I think two things are true. Number one, you need to move on.

• 1:39:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:01Speaker 03

  And number two, he already got his.

• 1:39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:04Speaker 03

  I know, I know he like cucked you and there's some shame there.

• 1:39:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:39:08Speaker 03

  He's going to prison for probably a long time. He hit and ran.

• 1:39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, dude, I know, I know the process this takes.

• 1:39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:18Stavros Halkias?

  You have to go to webs, you have to look the guy's legal name up. Cause I, you have to like go to the different dockets of different court, like, like. I have a friend who loves doing this in Baltimore. He loves to just like, if we, if we meet somebody strange. And we found some hilar- I'll tell you off mic. We found some hilarious stuff. But it is like a, it is like a involved process and you have to, it's not like, oh, I just logged on on Instagram and I saw. What docket his fucking case was on. This is like, you need to find the guy, take his legal, know his full legal name, put it into your. State's like.

• 1:39:52Speaker 03

  Circuit court.

• 1:39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Circuit court search system. And it's an, a business, these are old Byzantine systems where it's like. You have to get it right to the letter. It does it. There's no like, did you mean this? It's like, no, you gotta be very sure. And you have to go through different types of cases. Like, this is hard to figure out. And then I don't even know how you would find out that he's up, that he has a $4,000 fine. I mean.

• 1:40:12Speaker 03

  And that you could, the idea that you could pay it a dollar at a time.

• 1:40:15Stavros Halkias?

  Weird.

• 1:40:16Speaker 03

  Does that exist? That you can go in once a day and that they get like updates?

• 1:40:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'm, well, so the thing I will say is that you can request.

• 1:40:27Stavros Halkias?

  We found a guy who was we, I wouldn't even say what he did, I don't want to dox this guy at all. But we found a guy who was just very weird to us and gave us some strange customer service one time. And we found that he had a very funny case, right? And we request, you could request the audio from a ca, or like the notes? And we just wanted to be like,

• 1:40:54Speaker 03

  Like a FOIA request?

• 1:40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, literally something like that. And what we did know is that it shows up on the court case if someone has requested the notes. So this person, he'll have no, we're completely insignificant guys to this person's life, right? They are gonna find out. It maybe, or maybe they don't know anymore, like, or their lawyer gets pinged that, you don't know who, it doesn't say who asked.

• 1:41:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:20Stavros Halkias?

  Someone asked for this case, they probably hadn't been open for like years, like five years.

• 1:41:25Speaker 03

  That's really scary.

• 1:41:26Stavros Halkias?

  So like, you could do something like that. If you really wanted to, first of all, pay, you were paying them.

• 1:41:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Ultimately, you're helping him get off his thing.

• 1:41:33Speaker 03

  You're getting cucked again.

• 1:41:34Stavros Halkias?

  You're getting cucked again, and you're like, isn't this funny? Not really, you're, you wake up every day thinking about this guy.

• 1:41:41Speaker 03

  Hey, stop, so this guy fucked my ex-girlfriend while I was moving out. I was thinking I'd bounce him from the slammer. As a sort of revenge.

• 1:41:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:49Speaker 03

  Sounds good for him.

• 1:41:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I could take, some of the stuff in the storage unit that I was actively moving to while he was eating my girlfriend's pussy. I could put up some of that for collateral for a bail bond, what do you think?

• 1:42:00Speaker 03

  What do you think?

• 1:42:01Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so I would say, my advice is absolutely, this is insane, you gotta stop. You have to stop thinking about these people, you have to fully move on. Or you're, you're insane and you're, this is actually, you are still getting cucked by thinking about this this long.

• 1:42:15Speaker 03

  Stop, what are the ethics of me paying off his bail and getting the grieving family of the person he hit and killed? Involved, perhaps? Maybe they wanna pitch in.

• 1:42:28Stavros Halkias?

  So dude, don't do this. Stop, move on with your life. And if I would do anything, I would set a timer on your phone for like seven years from now and then request the notes from his case.

• 1:42:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:41Stavros Halkias?

  So that he thinks someone is like, he's a P I or something is looking into him. But right now, paying off his fine is not gonna help him at all and you need to fucking move on. This is insane. This is fucking crazy.

• 1:42:52Speaker 03

  I love it though. It was a very upbeat idea. He was like, what do you think about this? You feel like you're in a good place with your psychosis?

• 1:42:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. And I respect that. I respect that. You're in denial. You think what you're doing is healthy and not insane.

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:05Stavros Halkias?

  And it is, and you have to stop.

• 1:43:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:08Stavros Halkias?

  But that's gonna do it for us. Caleb, thank you, brother. Thank you. This is so great as always.

• 1:43:12Speaker 03

  Always a pleasure.

• 1:43:13Stavros Halkias?

  On HBO, on HBO Max right now, the special Model Comedian. Anything else you'd like to plug?

• 1:43:19Speaker 03

  Oh, that's it.

• 1:43:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's it.

• 1:43:20Speaker 03

  That's so simply all. If you see me in something, say something.

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, look at your local Cineplex. You're gonna see this guy all over the fucking place. It's gonna be awesome. Thanks, dude, and thank you guys for listening. We'll talk to you next week. Bye bye.

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