#142 - Ralph Barbosa

Ralph Barbosa joins the pod to discuss his new special PLANET BOSA out now on Hulu, worrying about not having any cool facts to share when he did Joe Rogan’s pod, an offer that he’s sad no one has ever made him, the industry he wishes he broke into, being the Robin Hood of buying cars on Facebook Marketplace, and much more. Ralph and Stav help callers including a guy who’s wondering if he should sabotage the job of a guy he doesn’t like based on a rumor, and a guy who’s wondering if he can keep packages that keep getting mistakenly delivered to his house by the former residents. Watch Ralph Barbosa’s special PLANET BOSA on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/ralph-barbosa-planet-bosa Follow Ralph Barbosa: https://www.instagram.com/ralphbarbosa03/ http://www.tiktok.com/@ralphbarbosa03 https://www.youtube.com/@ralphbarbosa03 https://twitter.com/ralphbarbosa03 For 10% off your order, go to https://pestie.com/stavvy Head Green Chef at http://greenchef.com/50stavvy and use code 50STAVVY to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off the next two months with free shipping. Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy MeUndies -- comfort that's made for summer! Visit https://www.meundies.com/stavvy and enter promo code STAVVY for up to 50% off. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in and solve all your problems. We got Ralph Barbosa on the couch today. Ralph, thanks for coming, bro.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me. What's up, everybody?

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, dude. Straight off the jet?

• 1:47Speaker 04

  Straight off the jet.

• 1:48Stavros Halkias?

  Straight off the jet from... From what's the... What's the... Is it George Bush? Is it George H. Bush Airport?

• 1:55Speaker 04

  Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, but I was... I mean, I'm not from Houston.

• 1:58Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but which one's Dallas?

• 2:00Speaker 04

  Dallas is DFW.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  Is it Linden? Oh, yeah. They didn't name it after a fucking president? Nothing?

• 2:06Speaker 04

  They just named it after... Yeah. The two cities it's in between.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Forward is barely a city, though. It's a, Dallas is all suburbs.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  Thank you for saying that.

• 2:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  You hear that, Forward, you fucking assholes?

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Let's get into it. Let's do some greater Dallas metro area. Let's do forty minutes on the Dallas metro area.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah. People, you gotta know.

• 2:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  This is as important as like Civil War history and World War II shit. Dallas is better than Forward.

• 2:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, sure. I do think the problem with Dallas, though, it is all suburbs. It's just a collection of suburbs and like, it's like mall to mall.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess so. I didn't really realize how many malls we had until I went to cities with no malls.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's a big mall culture over there.

• 2:49Speaker 04

  It's malls and then bars. That's all it is.

• 2:51Stavros Halkias?

  And then you drive drunk from the bar, from the bar to the mall.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  Everybody drives drunk in Dallas. It's insane.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, people would look at me like, I, cause you know, I would do, I did, I think Hyenas or some shit way back in the day.

• 3:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:06Stavros Halkias?

  And just walking anywhere, people looked at you like you were insane.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:11Stavros Halkias?

  No one walked. Like, I would walk from my, like, hotel to, like, there's like a movie theater, and it was like a, you know, twelve minute walk.

• 3:17Speaker 04

  Drive a truck.

• 3:18Stavros Halkias?

  It was insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Burn eight gallons of gasoline for a four minute drive.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  If you're not burning gas, bro, they'll tax you.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. They love, they love that shit.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  I flew in from Austin, though.

• 3:29Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, and my stomach, I've been having the shits the past couple of days.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  What did you get into in Austin, man?

• 3:35Speaker 04

  I had an extravagant meal. I've been splurging.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Let's talk about, I love to talk about extravagant meals.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I flew into Austin before coming to New York, and I was at my hotel, and I was just like, I couldn't decide what to order from DoorDash. Then I was like, bro, I just made a bunch of money on Hulu, I can order like three different.

• 3:59Stavros Halkias?

  Three different door, three different forty dollar meals.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  I ordered, I ordered from two Italian restaurants.

• 4:04Stavros Halkias?

  Two, okay.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  And then I ordered from one wing place.

• 4:08Stavros Halkias?

  The same, two restaurants, the same cuisine? That is a wild move.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Cause one of them didn't have meatball subs, and then the other one had, what do you call it, bolognese?

• 4:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure. So you wanted a high end and a low end Italian experience, plus wings?

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:25Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was craving hot wings for a couple of days, but man, that fucked up my stomach.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  That is a wild meal. Spaghetti bolognese, a meatball sub and wings. I have to tip my cap to you.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  I mean, I didn't eat all of it, obviously, but I just wanted a little bit of each.

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  A third, a third of each to make one full meal? Or did you take down all the hot wings? You can't save hot wings.

• 4:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, no, I took them down. But then I woke up in the middle of the night and then I finished off the bolognese. It was good, man.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  A little 2 a.m. bolognese.

• 4:56Speaker 04

  I had, I did Rogan's podcast the next day. And, yeah, it was, you know, it goes long. It goes like three hours and the whole time I was like, I'm gonna shit my pants.

• 5:07Stavros Halkias?

  And your shit's, you're just rumbling the whole time?

• 5:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  It's bad, man.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  Belly full of bolognese and wings and Rogan's just kinda hitting you with like, you know, theories about uh, human evolution or whatever?

• 5:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I feel bad because I feel like people always go on his show and they have like a lot of cool knowledge, like information to share.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 04

  And I was just asking him stuff.

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice. You're just like, you're just like trying to like fill time so you can shit?

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:34Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, oh, that's really interesting, Joe. Can you tell me more about that? Cause you're just like, uh, uh, uh, holding back, just focusing all your attention on holding your asshole is just slammed shut.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  I just kept, in my mind, I just kept telling myself, and I tell myself this anytime that I feel like I might shit my pants. I just keep telling myself like, I'm an adult, I'm an adult, I'm an adult. But the more I say that, the more I come to the realization, like, I should just shit my pants. I'm grown, man.

• 5:58Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. Oh, that's an interesting read on it. It's the flip side.

• 6:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:02Stavros Halkias?

  As an adult, I have the choice to shit my pants.

• 6:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:06Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I have to deal with it. I'm not a child who's gonna shit my pants.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  I'm buying the new pants.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm buying Rogan a new $400 chair or whatever, you know what I mean? I'm paying, we'll smoke a couple cigar. I mean, the cigar smoke is so thick in there, I feel like it would cover the smell of shit within a day or two.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Last time I was there, the first time I went, he offered me a cigar. This time, he didn't offer me one. I don't know if I did something wrong.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  And you know, the first time I was there.

• 6:34Stavros Halkias?

  He was just smoking a cigar?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 6:36Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay. Maybe he's living clean, who knows?

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, that could be it. I'm gonna go with that.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  The first time I went, I got to use his pool table. And then this time, I showed up and they were like, "Yeah, he'll be here in a minute." And I was like, "Alright, cool. Can I go fuck with the pool tables while I wait?" And they're like, "No."

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  I was like, "What the fuck did I do last time?"

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  And then I was like, "Alright, we'll give him another shot." The whole time you're quiet, just trying not to shit yourself?

• 7:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:04Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, so you lost pool table and cigar privileges?

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I gotta earn those back.

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think it was you. I think somebody did something stupid with the pool table. I bet you like Ben Shapiro got like, you know, got something on the pool table, you know what I mean? Got some locks, not to be stereotypical. Maybe, you know what I mean? It was probably like, you know, maybe, um, Jordan Peterson started crying about how beautiful, you know, Pinocchio is. So, he got tears all over the felt pool table. I think it's something like that, dude.

• 7:35Speaker 04

  Jordan Peterson fucking it up for me. Jordan Peterson gave me diarrhea.

• 7:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck dude. I do like, I like when a skinny man will indulge in a, you know, in a true meal. You know, cause no, you know, do you plan?

• 7:52Speaker 04

  I have a crazy metabolism.

• 7:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting. So, do you think that's right around the corner is just getting fat at like forty for you or something like that?

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, for some reason, my metabolism has been like just fucking on overdrive. But I have a feeling like any day now, it's just gonna completely shut down.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  And then I'll just like.

• 8:10Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. I do feel like Latinos as they age, either keep like, keep like sort of a a good like physique, or all of a sudden, one day, you're shaped like a potato.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  I try to look at.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  And that goes for men and women, by the way. You know what I mean? Like either one.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Like, what sucks about, um, I think for, for the women, for Latino women, it's usually right after they have a baby.

• 8:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  It all goes.

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  But for men, it's, it's, I don't know when. But, and then I. Try to look at older people like at airports and stuff. And I try to wonder like which body type am I gonna be when I start to lose it?

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Like there's dudes who like the it's just like the belly and like.

• 8:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, one incredibly spherical stomach.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, they got like the four month pregnant thing going on.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  I feel like my neck is sticking it up. So I'm like, nah, I'm definitely gonna be one of those like V shaped kinda chunky guys.

• 9:06Stavros Halkias?

  You think V?

• 9:08Speaker 04

  V, not like muscular V, more like, like my legs will probably.

• 9:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, skinny ass legs.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, my legs will stay small, but my upper body will start to like.

• 9:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. I think you're thinking of ice cream cone.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Ice cream cone, there you go.

• 9:21Stavros Halkias?

  A V on the legs, too fat, you know, dude, snowman up top, cone in the bottom.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  I think I'm a snowman. I don't know, yeah.

• 9:30Stavros Halkias?

  I like that dude. I like that you're just you're you're not trying to fight it. You're like, I'm gonna get fat as shit someday.

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I also have these moments where I lie to myself and I'm like, cause I eat shitty on the road. Like I'll have two weeks where I'm like, I'm eating really good. And then I I'll I'll it'll start with one like fucking downhill meal where I'll just be like nah. I've earned these fucking bowling days and hot wings.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna eat like, yeah, you're just you just eat the way like as if you were like a Vegas buffet.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I want two disparate cuisines.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  And but as I'm eating this shit, I lie to myself and I'm like, nah, it's okay because one of these days I'm just gonna go super fit and gym every day. But like, that's not, it's probably not gonna happen.

• 10:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so. What about, do you have people in your family? Can you look forward? What's your dad's body look like? What's your uncle's? Anything like that?

• 10:18Speaker 04

  My dad has a beer belly. He hardly drinks. It just stayed, you know? My uncle is short and uh, man, you know what? Yeah, he's losing the the neck. It's just becoming a chess piece.

• 10:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. His head is just descending into his body?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  I'm fucked, bro.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  And then I start to get the pressure like I'm turning twenty nine this year. So now I feel like that pressure of like, alright, it's only gonna get worse, right? Like it's only gonna get harder. Like I have to find somebody to marry now.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Before my options start to diminish.

• 10:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. I know what you mean, yeah. Oh, we're, we're living in the middle of a comedy bubble. Both of us have more money than we deserve.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  We're more famous than we deserve.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  We're, bro, me and Michael were talking about that on the way here. Like, I'm so thankful that comedy is like the most popular that it's ever been.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes. Yeah, we got so, so lucky. Like in terms of when our careers pop.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Was that on the first episode of Sopranos? When Tony Soprano's like, ah, I feel like I came in at the end.

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  At the end of a good thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  I'm like opposite, like I came in at the fucking pinnacle of this shit.

• 11:19Stavros Halkias?

  People much more talented than us had to play the shittiest comedy clubs for like twelve years to make like a third of the money.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  I had a couple of videos go viral. Next thing I know, women are DMing me.

• 11:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  Sometimes I wanna talk to these women just straightforward. I'm like, why are you doing this?

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, you don't buy Bitcoin now, bitch. You buy it eight years ago. It's too, it's too expensive now.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  I fucked up a couple of opportunities to settle down with some good women.

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  You did.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  Over the last two years.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, interesting.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  Because I got cocky really fast.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  They, they're talking to me like, hey, you know what? Let's work at something serious. And I'm like, I'm fucking,

• 11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding?

• 11:58Speaker 04

  I'm killing it right now.

• 11:59Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding? I'm living, I'm living a triple DoorDash lifestyle.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Triple DoorDash.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  You think a man who orders from three, from two different Italian restaurants in one night is gonna have a wife?

• 12:09Speaker 04

  One night?

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Bro, I don't know. I'm living crazy.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, but I get that though. It did, it's been, everything's kinda popped over the last, what, two years, would you say?

• 12:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 12:20Stavros Halkias?

  And you're, you were, and so you were, you were twenty six, twenty seven?

• 12:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like twenty six.

• 12:26Stavros Halkias?

  That's a, that's the tail end of being able to blame it on youth too, you know?

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, it's not quite, like, I feel bad for athletes where it's like, you're nineteen or you're twenty and you have a hundred million dollars and you're fam. Like, of course you're gonna act crazy, but comedian, you know, uh, you, you probably, like, at twenty five, I was all, I was as dumb as like, most eighteen year olds. I'm sure you were also dumb. Probably, you know, similar, three, four years ago. Um, maybe it started popping just a little before, but like, you know, I was, but I was older, right? I was like, I guess thirty, thirty one, thirty two. When was?

• 13:07Speaker 04

  What do you think kicked it off for you? Was it Come Town?

• 13:10Stavros Halkias?

  Come Town definitely helped. Don't get me wrong. Like Come Town, I was like, when I was, when I was kinda your age is when, like twenty seven is when it really pop. It was like when Come Town popped, but that was like a level of like specific podcast fame, which was awesome, cause like I didn't need, I got to quit my job. We were making solid, you know, we were making good money. Um, and I could do like, you know, comedy clubs pretty good. But it was like the same shit that happened with you where it was like, we just got caught up in that stand up clips going viral shit. And I went from like, you know, people knew me from a podcast to like people like in selling pretty well at comedy club weekends to selling

• 13:48Stavros Halkias?

  eight shows in a weekend, to selling theaters out, to like, you know, and the, the special, Live at the Lodge Room. When, when did we do that? That was like?

• 13:56Speaker 05

  That came out twenty twenty two.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  Hey, is that the one where you did the, you did the opener where you said, uh, I look like a, a side mission boss, a side quest boss on, on like?

• 14:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, GTA, I saw the fucking guy. I don't got nothing. People have been asking me, dude, you're in the GTA. No, they've stolen my likeness. Cal Hampton or whoever the fuck that is. There's still time to make it right, rock star. Did you see the new guy?

• 14:22Speaker 04

  They put you, they put you in GTA?

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Look at that guy. How the, how the fuck is that not me? That's fucking me, dude.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Not you, dude.

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's, I mean, they made him taller, so they have, but like, come on.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Dude, that's Burt Kreischer.

• 14:34Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, Burt's got enough. Burt's got enough. We fuck, we've been on his arena tour. Uh, yeah, anyway, yes, that was the one though.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  Hey, you know, one time I had a, I had a chance to meet you, uh, I don't know where, I don't, I think it was like a comedy club. I can't remember if it was here or North Carolina.

• 14:55Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not North Carolina.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Nah?

• 14:56Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think I've.

• 14:57Speaker 04

  I just remember somebody being like, uh, yeah, but they they were, I I didn't know who you were necessarily. And they were like, yeah, he's the dude from Come Town. You wanna meet him? But I was like, Come Town? Like, I didn't know it was a podcast.

• 15:12Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  I was like, nah, it's probably like some fucking OnlyFans dude. Probably like some porn guy who transitioned to comedy. I was like, nah, come on.

• 15:20Stavros Halkias?

  That would be cool. I would give credit to like some gay porn guy. Like, a lot of hot girls can go from sex work to comedy, right? Cause they're hot, whatever. But if it was a fat, if it was a fat bald gay porn guy who flipped it into comedy, I would tip my hat to him. Cause that's not, you know.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  That would, that would be sick. The porn industry would be like a sick industry to like break into.

• 15:44Stavros Halkias?

  You think so?

• 15:45Speaker 04

  But it's so crazy these days. Like, I wouldn't even know how.

• 15:49Stavros Halkias?

  I have a friend who said the same shit, actually. He was like, he's like, uh, forty something and he was like, and he's settled down now, but he was like, like his regret, it's not like, I wish, you know, people be like, I wish I gave like music or comedy or whatever I try. He's literally like, I wish I had tried porn before I got married.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  I should have, like, not that I should have been like an actor. No, I'm not.

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. You don't think you could be a performer?

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Not talented like that.

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  But like, bro, you, you know, to like produce your own porn and like put it out there, like now it's just, you know, OnlyFans has put too much power in the actors.

• 16:27Stavros Halkias?

  So wait, you're pro middleman is what you're saying?

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're mad that the performers get all the money? You think there should be some guy who takes advantage of these?

• 16:39Speaker 04

  Well, because now it's like, it's more expensive than ever. Now it's like, give them the money directly back.

• 16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  And then like, I live in Texas where they banned Pornhub.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  And other websites.

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's fucking crazy. The land of the free, come on, dude.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  So I go on OnlyFans, cause I'm like, I guess this is what I gotta do now, you know? But then I go on there and it's like, I gotta pay for each individual video? Um, what is the world becoming?

• 17:05Speaker 04

  We used to bootleg music all the time.

• 17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? We used to line wire shit.

• 17:09Stavros Halkias?

  You need the Napster of OnlyFans? Is that what you're saying?

• 17:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, yeah, like, cause now, now we, don't you think it's crazy that we used to get our music for free? And then, cause we were bootlegging it or whatever.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  But now, we all pay the fucking subscriptions to like, Apple or Spotify?

• 17:26Stavros Halkias?

  You could argue that we used to pay for our music and artists could make a living, and then getting it for free was the fucked up thing. And now Spotify is double fucked up because we still have to pay, but it's not the artist, it's some fucking CEO that gets the money.

• 17:42Speaker 04

  The middleman.

• 17:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. So, but you're coming out as pro-middleman, is what you're saying?

• 17:46Speaker 04

  I'm pro-middleman from porn.

• 17:49Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you wanna be one? Is that what you're saying?

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Because, yeah, cause I wanna be a porn.

• 17:53Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you imagine a world, and even though you're doing great right now, but you, but you're, you're imagining, you're mad that you could have been a porn producer and made money off that, and probably gotten sucked off by the, by the talent.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  I could have been one of those guys with like a cigar, and then I see like, some like, some stripper chick, and I'm just like, kid's a star.

• 18:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got what it takes.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  And then I also look at guys.

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  You see you eat a meatball sub whole? And you're like, now that girl's gotta be on film.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  It's just some dude, you know, I got like, power over people. It's just like, some dude wants to be a porn star. I'm like, drop your pants, kid, let's see what you got, like.

• 18:30Stavros Halkias?

  That would give you a thrill.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:31Stavros Halkias?

  He's exploiting, he's exploiting these people and forcing a kid to show you his penis. These are the things you wish you could do.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  I wish I.

• 18:41Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, hey man, to each his own. I can't say that I share those desires.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  I feel like as a stand-up comedian, I might be able to get some people to show me their penis, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't mean anything.

• 18:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. It would be about the spectacle.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  I'd be like, I can't get you rich, guy. I'm sorry.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. But he would be thinking, maybe this will go viral, then after that, you know what I mean? He'd be doing it for exposure.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  I feel like anybody can go viral these days, but only very talented people can stay viral.

• 19:09Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think there's definitely a, there's definitely some kind of, for, yeah. It's interesting now. I mean, I do think it was like, shit was just going viral pretty easily a couple of years ago.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it still goes viral easily. I just think now, when I see like, uh, content creators. They like, if you go through their pages, there's a lot of content creators, but there's a shitload of them that like, uh, if you look through their reels or their TikToks, they get like consistent views for a while.

• 19:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  And then they'll go through like heavy dips.

• 19:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  But then some dudes or some content creators are just like kinda killing it consistently.

• 19:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure. I mean, I also do think there's a problem in that the metric has become getting views and not is what you're making good. You know what I mean?

• 19:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Because I do think there's a way, I do think people, some people are very talented and smart and shrewd about staying viral and they understand the algorithms.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Does that word mean shrewd?

• 20:06Stavros Halkias?

  Shrewd means just like kinda like, sort of like just smart about, like smart in a very specific way and like, understanding of the exact, it's sort of like the way people understand how to go, like somebody being shrewd about going viral is like somebody who like, really understands the algorithm.

• 20:23Speaker 04

  Patterns and shit.

• 20:24Stavros Halkias?

  The patterns, exactly, exactly. They're, they're kinda, they're locked in on, you know, you know, on what it takes.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  I'm gonna use that like as many times as I can.

• 20:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get your, if you were a porn producer, you could be like, you know, I'll make some shrewd moves for you, kid. You know what I mean? You can say that to them. Now show me that penis.

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  Now fuck my wife and do it good. Do it good. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stabby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stubbies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STUFF. Terms apply.

• 21:31Speaker 06

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• 22:01Stavros Halkias?

  See?

• 22:02Speaker 04

  Anybody ever offer you like some weird shit like that on the road?

• 22:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yeah, a couple, a couple times.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  Nobody's offered me that.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  And it wasn't good.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  I don't wanna do it. You did it?

• 22:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. I'm just saying the op- that specific thing was not interesting to me.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  I wouldn't do it. I'm just offended that I haven't even had the offer to do it.

• 22:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 22:21Speaker 04

  But I met a dude once, no, I'm not saying any names, but I met a dude who apparently like got hired by his manager to bang his manager's wife.

• 22:36Stavros Halkias?

  What an industry.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  And got paid.

• 22:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  But imagine like-

• 22:41Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, "Do this and I think we could get you on Impractical Jokers."

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  You could be a guy that Sal throws a pie in his face. All you gotta do is fuck my wife.

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Nah, bro, it's just some dude working like at an assembly line.

• 22:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you mean manager as in like, at his blue collar job manager? Not like his entertainment is?

• 23:01Speaker 04

  Not yet.

• 23:04Stavros Halkias?

  So some guy, this guy's making fucking parts for cars or whatever?

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:08Stavros Halkias?

  And the guy's like, the guy's basically doing what you said, scouted him and he was like, "Hey."

• 23:12Speaker 04

  The dude was like, "Yeah, my, my wife, I told her for her birthday she could fuck somebody else and she chose that dude."

• 23:19Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. She chose a guy you work with? That's insane.

• 23:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:24Stavros Halkias?

  The guy's gotta see him every day?

• 23:26Speaker 04

  Imagine how it feels-

• 23:27Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta eat a shitty turkey sandwich with him in the break room?

• 23:29Speaker 04

  Bro, but imagine how it feels to be the guy next to that guy at the assembly line.

• 23:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, like-

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Like, bro, I put in for a fucking raise.

• 23:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you overhear them too?

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, like this guy-

• 23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Or you just hear them like, "Hey, man, so much."

• 23:42Speaker 04

  I'm like, bro, I show up to work every fucking day on time. But this guy gets to fuck your wife? You think I don't wanna fuck your wife, fucking asshole?

• 23:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  But yeah, I.

• 23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it was for his wife. See, if it was for like a, that's their thing, cuz some people, look, it's not, I'm not into.

• 23:57Speaker 04

  I mean, maybe it is their thing.

• 23:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. So you think he was lying about, I told my wife she could pick one guy?

• 24:02Speaker 04

  Well, I think that, uh.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  You think that's more of like a recruitment tactic, but he actually wanted it?

• 24:08Speaker 04

  I think that maybe they were like those, like those swinger types that they go out to like bars or whatever swinger type parties, meet people and do that shit. But I think as a birthday gift, she was like wanting to pick somebody specifically that.

• 24:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yes, yes. Well, for my birthday, we'll be a little naughty. We'll, we'll find someone that you work with.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  And he did it a few times.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  A few times? It wasn't, wow. It was her birthday month, I guess.

• 24:37Stavros Halkias?

  It wasn't just one time.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, she started that whole birthday month thing.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  I wanted a broker, the whole thing. I would be like, hold on.

• 24:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Middleman.

• 24:47Stavros Halkias?

  You show me your penis too, not just him, you too. Um, wow, so he asked him to do that.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  I think about this stuff sometimes when I'm laying in bed.

• 24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  Just, I'm like, it's like, good for them that they're doing this stuff and that good for the people that get these offers.

• 25:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  For any listeners out there, you know, maybe somebody's offered it to you. But like, it's just crazy to me that I, I'm almost thirty.

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Never once been offered. And now, now I don't even want nobody to offer it cuz now I feel like they just heard me complain about it and they'll do it like a petty. Hey, fuck my wife, come on.

• 25:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hey, come on, man.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  Being polite.

• 25:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cuz they know you're not gonna take them up on it. They're like, Ralph could really use this.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Now it means nothing. Ralph could use this.

• 25:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you think it's over?

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  And you just, to you, it's just, you just wanna feel desired.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:32Stavros Halkias?

  But you don't wanna do it.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Uh, bro, it would have made my year if just one guy was like, you know, could you fuck my wife, please?

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  Now, this is interesting because many women have asked to fuck you. You've, you know what I mean? Like, hot girls have DM'd you.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  They've DM'd you, but they're not asking. They're not like, can I fuck you sometime?

• 25:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Oh, you think it's something about the raw, you wanna be desired as a sexual being, not just as your, as an overall package of a man.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  I'm a piece of meat too.

• 26:00Stavros Halkias?

  You wanna be a piece of meat. You wanna be objectified in a way that these DMs are not cutting it.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  You want another man to be like, I need you to fuck my wife. Maybe there's a little misogyny wrapped up in here. Cause the, the, the value of a, you want a man to place sexual value on you. It's not enough for a woman to see you as a, as a partner.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  You're a good therapist.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  I'm learning a lot about myself.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  I want men to objectify me.

• 26:32Stavros Halkias?

  But in a straight way.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  In a straight way, yeah.

• 26:35Stavros Halkias?

  Filtered through their wives.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  To be like, dude, you're fucking hot. Fuck my girl. Fuck my girl, you beefcake.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Now, but if a girl just was that sexually forward with you, would it scratch the same itch?

• 26:52Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, nah, that would definitely feel better.

• 26:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay, that would be better. Okay.

• 26:59Speaker 04

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna go through my message requests. Maybe there's something in there.

• 27:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Hopefully.

• 27:04Stavros Halkias?

  There might be something.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Christmas morning.

• 27:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Hopefully something comes in before this episode comes out.

• 27:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that would really boost my ego.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  It wasn't, it wasn't because people saw this and are responding to it.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. I, I wouldn't even like need the actual hookup. I just need the thrill of I could have had it.

• 27:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right. That, the older I get, the more being able to is almost as good as doing it.

• 27:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:30Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like knowing a hot girl wanted to fuck me and having like proof. Eh, especially now where it's like, you know, I'm tired. I don't want to stay up late. You know what I mean? Like, it's like I'm thirty six, I'm fat as hell. I'm trying to get.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  I have a friend that I don't know how many times he's already been, uh, had, had his trips paid for by women who want to bang him.

• 27:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  And then.

• 27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  And then has gotten offered like, hey, why don't you take a trip with me here? I'll, I'll cover the cost. You know, just take the trip with me. And he's just like. Nah.

• 28:03Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, dude.

• 28:04Speaker 04

  What the fuck? I would fucking drop tour dates for these opportunities.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, this is a very interesting thing because I think we're both kinda, it's, it's from a similar place of like, you have it all, right? Like, your shit's awesome. But, you just want, and maybe we're similar here, where I think so much of my pathology, and like, all the shit that's fucked up with me is that like, I, and why like, hooking up with girls matters to me, and what I'm trying to get in control of is that, you just want, you just wish you had been desirable when it mattered.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Like, high school, you know what I mean? Like, you wanted to fu- Because I didn't fuck in high school, I'm trapped in this like, yeah, I think if some, if there's, if I fuck enough women, like, it'll be like a time machine, where I go back in time and like, I was cool in high school. But that'll never happen. You can't fuck your way to not being a loser.

• 28:54Speaker 04

  We're on this villain arc.

• 28:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Our life is a villain arc now.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, it doesn't have to be. But it is true. It doesn't, yeah. You don't have to be a porn producer, Ralph. You don't have, you don't have to exploit the most, uh, the most vulnerable in our society. You don't have to aspire to that, when you've already achieved your comedy dreams. But I get why you're, I get why you're-

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Stavi, you made a new calendar.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  You don't think that's villain arc shit?

• 29:19Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, no dude, that's art. That's pure art. And by the way, they're five dollars, you know, there's only a couple months left in the year, we're selling them off before the new, we have, uh, the 2026 calendar is coming out, so, this, uh, August, September, they're flying off the shelves. Five dollars as a piece of art, it's not really a calendar anymore, but we can get it to you. Uh, but no, but I know, but I'm try- certainly there was some villainous behavior, where you're like, trying to get it back, but it's like, yes, you're jealous of your friend just because he's a sexy guy who gets pussy.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? And, and he doesn't, he doesn't have, this motherfucker's never been on TV. At least he's been in the background of your shit. You know what I mean?

• 29:59Speaker 04

  He didn't go to like, a, a thousand open mics.

• 30:02Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  Just to get-

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  Just was born with bo- better bone structure than you.

• 30:08Stavros Halkias?

  Nicer hair, better bone structure.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  How do you know he has nicer hair? He's not, he's not here right now.

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  He's not here, you're right, it's just some guy. I'm, I'm speculating.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is funny. It would be awesome to, to, um, to that. And I do think though, one nice thing is when more people know you. Uh, like, sure, certain people might fuck you because they're a fan or whatever, but it's like, sometimes they just kind of see you or find out about you and they're like, oh, that's the type of guy I'd like to fuck. And that kind of feels good. You know, when someone is attracted you for, they do kind of objectify you. That does feel, I'm sure that's happened to you.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure.

• 30:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 30:48Speaker 04

  I like, I like, uh, every now and then, I like talking to a girl who really didn't know like whom, what my comedy was and doesn't find my comedy funny.

• 30:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's the best.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Oh, hell yeah. Cause now, now I feel like they have genuine interest.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's all I have to offer. You're actually like, that's crazy. What the fuck do you even like about me? But hey, that's cool. I'll take it.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I love a good weirdo.

• 31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, something's not right for sure in their lives.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  You think you'll ever get married?

• 31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, prob- I don't know. Probably. I guess it's just kind of, another thing with like, you just realize how much of what we do in our lives is because of sort of social cues and like the rest, what the rest of your circle is doing. Like, I, I've realized like everything I've done in my life has been, I've been kind of a late bloomer in everything. But the more you, the older you get, the more everyone around you is married, has kids. Like, it might take me a little longer, but it's like, you know, all my friends are pretty much, not all, but most are settled down. Some are looking into having kids. My brother had a kid. My best friends had a couple of kids. Like, it does feel like, you know,

• 31:57Stavros Halkias?

  and then you see it in comedy too, dude. How pathetic is it when it's like a forty-seven year old guy and he's still trying to get pussy? You see that a lot. You see that a lot. And it's like, I don't want to be that fucking guy.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  Well, you know what's funny? I was just thinking about that. Is, uh, when I first started going to open mics and I'd see like older guys, like, like you said, like forty year old guys.

• 32:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  Like hitting on young comics or like stuff like that.

• 32:21Stavros Halkias?

  A fucking forty-eight year old hitting on like a twenty-two year old open mic'er is, is one of the most pathetic things in the world.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  Forgot all about those guys until like maybe a few weeks ago as I saw I don't wanna say no names or I saw like older successful comics like still hitting on young girls and I was like oh man it never changes.

• 32:39Stavros Halkias?

  Tough stuff dude, yeah. And that's the thing, yeah it doesn't change unless you try hard to change it unless you steer away from the villain arc. But that's the thing, the villain arc ultimately leads there is being pathetic and lonely, you're rich and you're trying to get twenty-three year olds to like you and it's like you don't have a fucking connection with anybody.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  I feel like I at least need to be like even if I don't stay married, I need at least like.

• 33:02Stavros Halkias?

  Going into it being like it's not gonna work but I need this, I need this for phase and my life is awesome.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  I need at least one divorce.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  By by like my forties or fifties, you know what I mean?

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Well see this, I guess, I think what you're doing is setting yourself up for a reason to have to be that pathetic old guy.

• 33:25Speaker 04

  No, I don't wanna be that guy that's hollering at women. My thing is like if I'm like in my fifties and I'm single that I'll you know I'll probably just holler at like at least women my own age or something.

• 33:36Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. Thirty-eight year olds, you'll be that guy.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  I need to like, I don't wanna be the guy who got to my fifties and was just like single but also never married like that's a little you know what I mean that's a little weird, it's a little suspect.

• 33:47Stavros Halkias?

  I gotcha.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  So I need a track record so people can trust me.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but see that's part of again, this is the problem is that you're doing it for plausible deniability. You just wanna be like I'm not weird, I gave it a shot and it didn't work.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Fucking tried it out, you know what I mean? But I don't know, I mean hey also I might stay married, I don't know.

• 34:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  I'll I'll let you know how it goes.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Please let me know. Is there are there any prospects or you're still just out here right now?

• 34:12Speaker 04

  I'm just out here, man. Yeah, I met one girl but I don't know, we'll see how it goes.

• 34:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's good, man.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  She's on Instagram, she's like kind of like a little Instagram famous. We're just friends right now but who knows, she'll she'll get more famous and then she'll dump me for like fucking, I don't know, one of the Nelk guys or something.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, after they after they interview a different war criminal.

• 34:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, um, no, I know what you mean, dude. I don't know. I, uh, you were you when when you were growing up, what was it? Was it a similar thing? Like, I assumed it was the like, trying to make up for lost time, but what was? What were the vibes like in high school? Because one thing I do like is that, you know, we were similar to in that, like, you surround yourself with friends of yours from back in the day, like, you know, elders I've known since we were kids, like, uh, everybody, you know, the people I bring to open for me or like JP, who I was one of the first guys I met in New York. It's been like 10 years, you know, over 10 years of being friends. Um, all that stuff, you know, I, it's cool to be around your crew and to kind of like, get to do what you wanted as a kid. Like, I love the, what you do with, clearly you were a kid that liked cars.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  And now, like, it seems like all your expend, half your expendable income is going to having sick fucking cars.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  I'm going, bro, thanks to fucking Facebook Marketplace.

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Uh, and I don't like, here's the, I feel like I, I made money just so that I could be the guy who doesn't lowball people on Marketplace.

• 35:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  I love to like surprise.

• 35:44Stavros Halkias?

  You're redistributing wealth.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  One like fucking carburetor at a time.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  I'm like, will you have a fucking 96 Camaro that doesn't run? For 800, I'll give you 2000.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  They're like, what?

• 35:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's awesome. You're like Latino Robin Hood.

• 36:04Stavros Halkias?

  You're like Texas car Latino Robin Hood.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  I look at the yard and it's just a bunch of cars that don't run. I'm like, I made it.

• 36:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  Fucking, somebody had to fill up this land.

• 36:13Stavros Halkias?

  Were you, so did you, were you like a car guy when you were a kid too? Like, you grew up on that shit or?

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like cars. My dad had a body shop and we always had shitty cars coming in and out. My dad would like flip cars.

• 36:24Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  And that maybe not in the best ways. He was just always like, buy this car, fix it for cheap, like, let's fucking sell it.

• 36:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  I like, I like that shit. I don't know. I just like junk, I guess.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  You were working at the body shop?

• 36:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was bad, bro. I think I'm like, I think it definitely fucked up my head a little bit, probably my lungs.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  Because we didn't even have like paint booths.

• 36:44Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  It was just like a building where we just, you know what I mean? People would spray and, and so it's just clouds of like clear coat all in the air. And my dad would be like, go stand in that corner, you know?

• 36:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  Don't breathe it in.

• 36:56Stavros Halkias?

  Don't breathe it in, yeah. Get away from it.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm just like.

• 36:59Stavros Halkias?

  Do this.

• 37:01Stavros Halkias?

  Putting your shirt over it.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  The shirt blocks the cancer.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  Love that dude.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  But yeah, I mean, I was like in the summers and shit. It was cool, man. And so now I just. I built like a, like a house to live in. But my uncle lives in there. I didn't, yeah, not that he bullied me out of it. I'm a grown man, but.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like he did.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  But I just used like the garage area.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like your uncle got your ass.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  I'm not allowed upstairs.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  The bottom floor is like all garage and then the top floor is like the living thing. So like I just go in the garage.

• 37:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Keep them up.

• 37:42Stavros Halkias?

  And where do you, and where do you live?

• 37:44Speaker 04

  In my dad's house.

• 37:47Stavros Halkias?

  How far is that?

• 37:48Speaker 04

  It's on the same land.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, nice.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, we got like a cult thing going on.

• 37:51Stavros Halkias?

  Love, I do love that actually. Yeah, for real. No, I love a compound. Like it would be also buy land and like, like a, a one, one kind of like dream is like either upstate or somewhere where we could have cabins where it could be like, me and all my friends just have a little house and everybody's hanging out.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  Man, the, the people, there's like some people not too far from where I live. Um, they have like a fuck, like a real, like little village going on. They bought up, like maybe four acres. Yeah, maybe five, four or five acres and then, and then every time I pass by there, it's like advancing, like, like it started off like two, three trailer homes.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  And then, and then they built like houses and then they built uh bigger garages. And the houses got nicer and nicer. And then last time I drove by there, they had like a, like a brick wall with like, actual like the.

• 38:49Stavros Halkias?

  They're learning masonry.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  They got like fucking gates around the whole property and then they had a playground for like the kids.

• 38:56Stavros Halkias?

  Playground.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  I was like, bro, one day I'm gonna pass by and it's gonna be a fucking elementary school.

• 39:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude. Some fuck, yeah.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  But I mean, they're all related to each other, but they, they fuck each other. They have to. Fucking weird.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  And this is your, uh, well, how, this is like outside of Dallas or where is this?

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like, uh, I don't wanna say exactly where.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, sorry, but in the.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Can I just say I live in bleep and then you bleep?

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's another reason I think it's like, that's another reason I think that they're doing like incest and shit. Cause it's just like out in the country.

• 39:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  They don't have an education.

• 39:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  Uh, they might, I don't know, they might.

• 39:33Stavros Halkias?

  They might, who knows? It seems like they know how to build fucking, you know?

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:37Stavros Halkias?

  Fences and shit at least, the houses.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  They all work, I think they all work for like, the first guy that moved in there.

• 39:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 39:44Speaker 04

  They're like, I don't know, they do like construction or some shit.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, to me, I'm, I'm definitely like a city person. Like I grew up in Baltimore, not the biggest city, but it is very urban. And then, you know, I love it here. Like I don't, for a second, for a second, I considered moving and I was like, where the fuck would I even go? I just, I love, um, you know, in fact, I moved into Manhattan, which I like more, as much as I love Queens, I just, I like being in that. Like, I like people being on top of me. I don't, the silence scared, like, being out there with like na- like acres away from my neighbors would fucking freak me out, actually.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  Ooh, when I, when I first went out there, like I had to stay out there for a couple of weeks. Yeah, I hated it cause there was no noise. Like I couldn't hear the highway.

• 40:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's highway, fucking Dallas, there's highway everywhere. Every fucking road is a highway.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  So if I couldn't hear like the, eh, like, it kinda freaked me out, but, I don't know, one day I just started liking it. It is definitely haunted though. Ghosts are real.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  I hear a little girl laughing at night. It's either a ghost or it's some little fucking bitch sneaking up to my land and fucking with me or something.

• 40:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  But yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:53Stavros Halkias?

  You hear a little girl laughing.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  How often?

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Fucking with me. Somebody's fucking with me. But I, you know, I, I hear it sometimes when I'm in the garage, like.

• 41:02Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that sucks.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't fuck with my cars like until it's like one AM. That's when I'm like the most awake.

• 41:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  And I was getting really frustrated. I was laying under the car, I was getting really frustrated and I just laid there. Like I just gave up. I was like, man, fuck this. And then I just hear like, like laughing. And my uncle told me once that if, if you hear like ghosts or spirits that you're supposed to say like, you're not welcome here, like leave or some shit.

• 41:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  Nah, I did, I'm not gonna piss her off more like.

• 41:28Stavros Halkias?

  First of all, I love that your uncle thinks he knows how to deal with ghosts. That's awesome. It's like, oh yeah, you have to say a specific thing and they have to listen to you.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  It worked on me. Like, he's like, you're not welcome here and I left my own house.

• 41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's that relationship like? How much is he your dad's?

• 41:45Speaker 04

  He's my dad's brother, yeah, younger brother. But nah, he didn't kick me out or nothing like that. It was kinda hard to convince him to move in there. He was the one that taught me how to do like bodywork and shit.

• 41:53Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, I feel you, dude. I mean, I, I like just keep buying shitty houses in Baltimore for my family to live in.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:03Stavros Halkias?

  Like, most of my real estate is horrible homes in Baltimore in the neighborhood I grew up in, like, just so my family, you know.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  There's a meme, uh, that I saw, I think it's like, I don't know if this relates to our families, but it definitely relates to like Mexican families. And it's like when you see the property that your uncles like fell out over.

• 42:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  And it's like a shitty house in Mexico.

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  The same thing with Greek people. There is like, there is like, this happens all the time with the part of the family that moves to America, because they're like, oh, they're gone, we're just gonna take the land. And it's literally just like, on, just like shitty hills of olive trees around nothing. And they're like, yeah, there's like a blood feud over like these, these like hor- this horrible fucking, me and my brothers, maybe me and my brothers are, our grandma has a little piece of land in an island in Greece. And it's like, that could be a nice little.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, an island? That's fucking next level.

• 42:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's nice, it's nice. Yeah, yeah. We would have to build it up and shit, it would be expensive.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  You'd have to build up the island?

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  There's just nothing there.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  Nah, it's a lot of responsibility.

• 43:04Stavros Halkias?

  Not the island. No, no, we don't, it was not, I'm not doing a compound like your neighbors. We just, I'm just, we would just have to, you know, there's just a piece of land. But yes, every time there's like a fucking, there's real estate battles over just shitty village properties.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Your grandma's still alive?

• 43:19Stavros Halkias?

  She is, dude. She's still kicking. She's ninety-four.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  So like anytime she gets a cold, you and your brothers start to be like?

• 43:25Stavros Halkias?

  Here, it's packed, yeah, let's get some, yeah, let's get some engineers, let's get some architects.

• 43:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, she's here. I mean, we could, we could do whatever the fuck we want with it. She's, she's living with my mom and she has no idea what the fuck's going on. She's kind of in that phase.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  My mom is living with my grandma. That's not good.

• 43:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's classic immigrant shit, though. I feel like everybody, like, that's how.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  It should be the other way around. It should be my grandma lives with my mom.

• 43:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that's what you were getting at. Your mom moved back in with her mom.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  Your mom moved back in with her parents.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Fucking up the order, you know?

• 43:57Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, bro. Uncle gets a whole fucking floor of the house. Mom's gotta live with grandma.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  That's all fucked up, bro. We live like if there's no money. Like, we live like I have no specials.

• 44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can't, you can't build a fucking other little lean-to on the property. You can't build an A-frame on the, now you don't want mom in the car.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Nah, I'm done. I'm done, bro. I'm never building another home.

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 44:17Speaker 04

  Cause I don't know who's gonna live in that one.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  I don't, yeah. I don't have the balls to like build a home and like say no to somebody else moving in.

• 44:24Stavros Halkias?

  But that's what I'm saying. Build it kinda shitty, knowing they'll move. Build three shitty properties. Three shitty little houses so that everyone has one, and then you get to build a good one when everybody's moved into theirs.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Fuck that. I'll go to Greece and I'll move on to your grandma's island.

• 44:41Stavros Halkias?

  Make her a sweet deal. Nah, you don't, no car culture there. I think you'd hate it.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  There's no car culture in Greece?

• 44:47Stavros Halkias?

  Not really. They don't give a fuck about cars.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  What do they do? Like ride bikes or something?

• 44:50Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of, yeah, a lot of fucking little scooters.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Vespas and shit?

• 44:54Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of Vespas, cause they're small islands. The roads are very small in Europe, so.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  What do you guys eat in Greece?

• 45:00Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, you know, we're talking kebabs. We're talking.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fedos, kebabs.

• 45:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Agiro, souvlaki, you know, fried seafood, a lot of seafood, the Greek salad.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Okay. I can maybe move to Greece.

• 45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  What's the, uh?

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  You should go. It's fucking awesome.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  What's the prostitution like there?

• 45:18Stavros Halkias?

  It is not fully legal, but it is, you could figure it out if you need to.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 45:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's not like, you know, uh, I think other European countries, it's pretty much legal as hell. Um, I think Australia, it's pretty much legal.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  Australia has legal prostitution?

• 45:34Stavros Halkias?

  I believe so.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  That's pretty cool.

• 45:35Stavros Halkias?

  Have you been?

• 45:36Speaker 04

  Never.

• 45:37Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  But I wanna go. I feel like Australians are fucking wild.

• 45:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  They like, they like cars a lot too, though. I met a lot of uh Nissan GTR fans or like enthusiasts who are Australian.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  At GTR Fest. GTR Fest was created by Australians.

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  That makes sense, cuz I, cuz that's like, I do feel like they would be more into Asian cars cuz they're right. Like, I was shocked by how much like Asian influences in Australia, but then you see, you look at a map, you're like, oh, it makes a lot of fucking sense.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't know this. Japan has a people shortage. Imagine, you know, you see the videos and stuff.

• 46:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you can't get pregnant from a, a tentacle monster nutting in you. I think that's part of the problem.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  That is part of the problem. There was a dude, he's in a relationship with the anime character, like a, like a toy.

• 46:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there is something weird about the culture there where it's like become sexless. It's like. They work too hard, they don't really fuck, or if they do fuck, they do go to like sex workers. It's not like, you know, they, they're not having kids. It's crazy.

• 46:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, that's crazy. Apparently, they're trying to like invite people over to like live there. But, I don't know. Would I move to Japan? I guess it just depends on their prostitution.

• 46:51Stavros Halkias?

  They're pretty open about it, yeah. In fact, I, I've seen P, and I don't know if this is true, it's just like a fucking TikTok I saw, but. They claim that the, if, you know, even in a relationship, women don't really care cuz they see it as like. As long as you don't have feelings for someone, I don't care if you fuck them.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  That's nuts.

• 47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Which is crazy, which is a crazy take.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  You think that's crazy? I think that's perfectly logical.

• 47:13Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know if it's perfectly logical. I think it's a pretty, I think it's a slippery slope if you're starting to fuck somebody else, you know. Now, if they're, uh, I think, like, going back to the threesome question in a relationship. I think it would make sense to like gets get a pro involved. Get a professional involved because that way there's no emotions or anything. But I think I think it's very easy to.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  I just wouldn't want the I just wouldn't want the pro to talk to me like he's like a coach like. Like I like I've never been skydiving, but you know how they make you go with like.

• 47:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right, the guy strapped on your back.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just don't want like that situation in a threesome where it's like. Let me just show you how to properly fuck your wife here.

• 47:53Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want to feel like it's a training, like you're taking a cooking class.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  You want to feel like no, you're, you know, I would look at it as like, you know, hiring like a housekeeper or something like that. Tell them exactly what you want done and then it's their job to kind of keep it professional.

• 48:07Speaker 04

  I tip them after.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta tip, you gotta tip well. Interesting, are you have you been getting into prostitute, have you been getting into sex work lately or?

• 48:16Speaker 04

  No, but that's another industry I wish I would have broken into. You don't ever imagine like.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of sex work is very interesting, you're into that.

• 48:25Speaker 04

  I wanted to be a pimp back in the day.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think you have that in you, man.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  I don't, ah, nah. Nobody listens to me.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  I'd be like, can you fuck that guy, please?

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  Please, I'm short on rent. I need you to start sucking dick. We're all gonna be homeless if you don't start sucking dick around here, you're begging. It's like, fuck you, Ralph. Well, this is a very interesting perspective, I think it's time that we brought your perspective and we should say, by the way. New special on Hulu.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  Planet Bosa.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  Planet Bosa.

• 48:57Stavros Halkias?

  Out now, go check it out.

• 49:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then. And we should take your perspective and help our help our listeners here, Ralph.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  All right, who we got?

• 49:09Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see what we got here, Aldous.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  I usually don't start with ones this long, but this one touches thematically on a few things that have come up so far.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 49:17Speaker 06

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• 49:46Speaker 07

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• 50:14Speaker 08

  Hi, staff, all these you esteemed guests. I recorded a message earlier, but it wasn't long enough. So basically, for a bit of context, I'm 37, grew up a loser, and all throughout college, didn't have a lot of luck with women. And particularly had two or three, two actually, two incidents where there were girls right in front of me in my dorms inviting me for a threesome. What? And I've chickened out. So you get the picture. Chickened out? Anyway, fast forward, I've just got out of a long-term relationship about five,

• 50:59Speaker 08

  four months ago. It was already dead, so it was just, we officiated the ending. And I find myself being a single man with lots of disposable income and no interest in a real relationship yet.

• 51:16Speaker 08

  I'm kind of just licking my wounds, as they say, and um I've uh because I I I have some disposable income and I don't spend a lot of money. My work feeds me breakfast, lunch and dinner.

• 51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely.

• 51:29Speaker 08

  Um and I live next to work, so I don't even use my car. Um I go to a lot of sex workers and um I particularly started uh partaking in threesomes and foursomes and

• 51:45Stavros Halkias?

  Four-somes.

• 51:46Speaker 08

  Et cetera, um never one.

• 51:49Stavros Halkias?

  This guy has too much fucking money. This guy clearly works for like Google or some shit, they feed him breakfast, lunch or dinner. What the fuck kind of workplace is this? He goes to fu- is he go to like daycare? And he and he lives next door and he's having, anyway, uh it's international, it looks like, interesting. Keep going, Aldous. Maybe this thi- this shows you what life is possible, what kind of life you could have under uh uh socialism, folks. This is what happens with that when you have a fucking strong safety net. You get to buy pussy. Yeah, what what country is this?

• 52:24Speaker 04

  I kind of feel like scared.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh. Oh, never mind. Oh, this is not Europe. This is somewhere more sinister. Alright, keep going.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  It's scary.

• 52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Well, that's crazy. Holy shit.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  I don't think I wanna work in prostitution anymore.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going, Aldous. Let's see what we got here.

• 52:47Speaker 08

  Sex worker. At a time, it's always two or more and it's fun. I'm loving it. It's uh it's a new experience. It's ecstasy, I'm euphoric, um but

• 53:00Stavros Halkias?

  Euphoric.

• 53:01Speaker 08

  A part of me is thinking that if I get used to this, probably a normal woman won't cut it. Because when I'm with these sex workers, I'm like going wild, like everything I've seen in in porn, I'm doing. Um using protection where possible, but um yeah, uh I'm just thinking, am I overdoing it? And then a normal woman won't cut it anymore and

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's a horrible way to think of it.

• 53:31Speaker 08

  I just want the easy um easy way out as opposed to um investing in learning about someone and going on dates and stuff. I mean, at the moment, I'm not interested in that, but I just feel like if I keep going with those Wild.

• 53:46Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, man, you know the fucking answer is.

• 53:49Speaker 08

  Expeditions, um, it's gonna ruin me.

• 53:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 53:53Speaker 08

  For normal relationships, a normal woman. Kimberly thoughts, I know that you're pro, uh, sex work.

• 54:00Stavros Halkias?

  We are, but there's a limit to everything. But we get it, we, you don't have to hear more of this bullshit. I mean, this is insane.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  What's the guy's name?

• 54:08Stavros Halkias?

  We, we don't know his name.

• 54:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 54:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's anonymous.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Buddy, I'm gonna say this, start carrying a gun.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know that that's where we start. I don't know that's the first thing this guy needs to take care of is having a gun. But you are right, this, I mean, look, we are pro sex work, right? But I'm also pro a nice steak dinner, right? That doesn't mean you should have three ribeyes every night. It's a fucking little treat, man. Sometimes you gotta have flank steak, sometimes you gotta have chi- chicken breast. I mean, this is insane. And yet, this, this is like, you do this at your, on your birthday, maybe. You get, buy, get a, buy a couple, you know, get a couple, uh, sexy ladies to double suck you. That sounds cool as a treat. You can't, what, do you have an ice cream for every meal? I mean, this is insane.

• 54:59Speaker 04

  That's true, man, don't overindulge, bro. You know, it's cool, you got it. You, you, you probably felt like, yo, I missed out on this in college, so let me do it now, but.

• 55:10Stavros Halkias?

  And this guy makes too much money. I mean, we need to take some of his money away.

• 55:13Speaker 04

  I feel like he's trying to bang us because he's saying.

• 55:16Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe.

• 55:16Speaker 04

  He brought it up twice, he's like, I got disposable income.

• 55:19Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I'll tell you, though, shit like this does end with crazy things like paying two guys you don't know to suck your dick, even if you're not gay. Like, he's, he's fucking up his neural pathways with this much pleasure. Like, beating off to porn can, is a problem for intimacy. Finding human beings to recreate the shit you saw in porn every time you fuck is insane. You're out of your mind. Also, like, he called in from somewhere where. I don't know where his source of money is, it's nothing good. Right? There is a darkness and a sinister energy to every aspect of your life right now. And you need to change a lot of things about yourself.

• 56:02Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, definitely stop doing this. Again, we're not anti-sex work here. Uh, hopefully you're tipping well, you're paying well, whatever, but it's like, we are, you're, you're overindulging in things. You can get addicted to anything and you absolutely are gonna get addicted to this and it's not, and even looking at it's like, is a normal woman gonna cut it? It's like, that's not.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Are you gonna cut it?

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, what are you offering?

• 56:26Speaker 04

  To a normal woman, yeah, you gotta imagine, not that you're gonna, like you said, you have no interest in getting into a relationship right now, but you gotta imagine it could be four or five years from now. You're on a, you're, you're in a relationship, you're, it's getting serious. And then she asks you, have you ever had a threesome? And you're just like, yeah. And she's like, how'd it happen? I paid for it. Like, imagine what that's gonna-

• 56:47Stavros Halkias?

  I paid thirty thousand dollars over the course of four months on a threesome every three days. What the fuck are you talking about, dude?

• 56:55Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? A good woman is not gonna like that, bro.

• 56:59Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, look, it's ju- I don't even know about that, right? I think it's, yes, I don't know that anybody, he, he just clearly has an addict, this is just so clearly an addiction, that it's bad. It's bad for you. Anytime you're doing, you're overindulging in these things that are awesome. It will fuck you up.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  Everybody has a vice, but you don't want this to be your vice, bro. Do like, uh, do, like, go on Marketplace, Facebook Marketplace. Or some sort of drugs, do a lot of mushrooms. The mushrooms will help you, brother.

• 57:32Stavros Halkias?

  I just, yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, he's just, yeah, this is just not, this is too, too much of anything is a problem and you are really overdoing it when it comes to buying pussy.

• 57:44Speaker 05

  I feel like also it's not gonna make his, like, college self less of a loser.

• 57:47Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 57:48Speaker 05

  This won't have made you, like, have that threesome in college that is your north star in life and your, like, hollow life or whatever.

• 57:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is an even more hollow version of what we're up to. You know what I mean? It's like, and it's not, it's not like, it's, this is purely transactional. You're not, you're not making up for anything and you're just changing the way that you relate to sex. And you're really making it an unrealistic thing where yes, of course, hot women that you're paying to do exactly what you want. Of course, a regular person who's trying to relate to you and have like sex in a loving way is not gonna be, is not gonna behave this way.

• 58:29Speaker 04

  You should go, I don't know if you have these type of friends, but you should hang out with friends who judge you.

• 58:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you, this guy does need a little, I mean, we're doing it now. We're showing you that even us, even this podcast that is very horny and pro sex work is disgusted at your behavior. So change your life, man. This is too much. Do this once a year, max. Even though he's saying, I'm like, it doesn't sound so bad.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  I think you should quit. I think you've had enough. Quit called turkey.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, wean yourself off.

• 59:03Speaker 04

  What else we got, LD?

• 59:05Speaker 09

  Hey, Savi, Eldis, esteemed guest, a long time listener, seen you a couple of times out in the west coast. So excited to be speaking to you. I have kind of an odd question. Uh, so I'm in this friend group. There's, you know, a bunch of us. I'm really lucky to have found them. It's great. And some people who are on the periphery of this friend group invited their friends to kind of join us when we do like outdoor activities, go to concerts, stuff like that. Uh, I don't particularly like these extra friends who've been brought in. It's a couple. Uh, they're fine. They're nice enough, but they are always diligently drunk constantly.

• 59:46Speaker 09

  Whenever I see them, it's a real fucking downer. Uh, and you know, we've had to like, you know, out of like hanging outside, save them from fucking falling into the river or some shit like that. It's, it's always a hassle. They're always drunk. They never remember anything from when we hang out. It's kind of the worst. And so I can look past this, like whatever, each their own. But I recently found out that the husband in this couple is an aircraft technician.

• 1:00:17Speaker 09

  And that he supposedly drinks on the job right before he goes on the job. Uh, this is hearsay, like secondary, that's probably not the right usage of that word, but it's secondary information. Uh, so I didn't hear from him directly. I'm not sure how true it is. Uh, but this has me fucking terrified and also in a weird place because I don't really know what my place in this is as someone who's like on the periphery of them, you know? So I am torn because part of me wants to tell the airline and snitch.

• 1:00:51Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:00:52Speaker 09

  But also it's like, I don't know for sure if that's happening and I don't want someone to lose their job and they fall worse into alcoholism.

• 1:00:59Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:00:59Speaker 09

  Because they get fired or something. I don't know. Uh, honestly, the worst part of it is I really fucking like flying. I'm terrified to fly from my home airport. So just looking for advice. Uh, should I switch airlines? Should I report him? Should I forget it and act like nothing happened?

• 1:01:17Stavros Halkias?

  Report him?

• 1:01:18Speaker 09

  I could use your help.

• 1:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  The fuck are you talking about?

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  Nah dude, I'm on my next few flights.

• 1:01:25Speaker 04

  Call it in, call it in.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  And maybe we'll bleep the airline so we don't get sued.

• 1:01:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually really true. Thank you, Elvis.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  Call it in.

• 1:01:35Stavros Halkias?

  Bleep the airline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. I mean, this is fucking crazy. This is the most, I'm a coward and I'm finding a different thing to pretend I'm mad at. You're mad him and his drunk dumb wife have fucked up four hikes and three concerts for you. You don't give a fuck that he's a drunk, that you have secondhand information that he's a fuck, that he's drinks on the job. And look, you sound like a good person. I get that. You pro- part of it probably is you're a little worried about this, but you also don't have any proof, right? For you to immediately go to snitching means you hate this guy. This is like when you're, you know, when so, when you hate somebody, when you've secretly been hating someone.

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  They're looking for any little excuse.

• 1:02:20Stavros Halkias?

  Wait for someone to talk shit on them and then once they talk shit, it's like. You fire up the group chat, right? This is his like, I can't say I don't like their vibes, but now I can pretend I'm morally offended that I heard a rumor he drinks on the job. You know what I mean?

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  Dude, look, you, you either gotta go one way or the other here. You either stop hanging out with these people and find different friends, just get out of the circle completely. Or man up, fucking drug his drink.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  Put cocaine in his beard, obviously he's gonna drink or whatever in front of you. Put some drugs in there, call, bleep on him and like, yeah, look, I watched him do heroin and fucking get rid of him. Either you get out or man up and get the fucking rid of this guy, bro.

• 1:03:09Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, there is something to this general dynamic though of like, this ha- what's happening is your friends are doing a hostile takeover of your friend group. You know, like, you know when there's like five or six people that always hang out together?

• 1:03:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's great when somebody gets added in, they vibe with everybody. That's actually fu- I've been really lucky that a lot of my friends from my life, you know, like, it's cra- you know, we, we've meshed a lot of our friend groups and like, uh, I've, it's been awesome. And then sometimes you bring somebody along and you're like, you know what? The vibes aren't exactly right. We're gonna keep them over here. You know what I mean? It's like, but it's awesome when friend groups, especially as you grow older and it's kinda harder to make friends. If somebody picks up, if one of your boys picks up a friend and they're actually cool and they get in the mix and you like them. And now it's like this group that's known, you know, it's almost like circles on a tree where it's like, it starts with four people, then it's six, then it's, you know what I mean? It's cool when it works.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:10Stavros Halkias?

  But also, it doesn't work a lot of the time, right? Like, I'm sure you've been, I'm sure like you've had a friend who's like talked up somebody and like, dude, you're gonna love my boy Mike. This guy's the fucking man.

• 1:04:22Speaker 04

  And then Mike's like a piece of shit.

• 1:04:23Stavros Halkias?

  And he fucking sucks.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  And then Mike's like eating ass in front of everybody. It's like disgusting.

• 1:04:29Stavros Halkias?

  Mike's on some freak shit. You know, Mike's aside, you know, he doesn't have to commit assault or, you know, some kind of.

• 1:04:36Speaker 05

  He's getting three sex workers at a time without telling anyone.

• 1:04:40Stavros Halkias?

  Come on guys, let's cheat on our wives with whores. You're like, uh, I don't know about this, man.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, you definitely gotta like, like you said, change it, mess it up, you know what I mean?

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so like, this is an, it is an interesting topic of discussion, like, what do you do? Like, let's take this drunk shit aside, right? You don't give a fuck about that. You're not snitching. Okay, first of all, if you really, really care, you need absolute proof, not just somebody else who also hates this guy talking about it. More important is like, who told you this? Because politically, within the friend group, this might be, this might be where you can start a faction to get him out. It's not important that you hear this rumor. The fact that somebody's spreading this rumor means he also hates this person.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  I feel like this guy's girlfriend told him.

• 1:05:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it might be his girlfriend. But if there are other people within the group, like, you need to do a census of, you know, you need to like, really get in here with the rest of the group and be like, I mean, the fact, you have to, maybe this person is just nice, actually, he sounds like a nice guy, actually. And he doesn't think in this conniving Machiavellian way about his friends the way I do. I have a problem where I am, you know, I do think of the dynamics and like, how are we gonna get this piece of shit out of here? But you need to start thinking that way. Cause this guy clearly has been fucking up your friend group. Or the opposite is just like, or if you wanna be an adult about it, you can just have a conversation with your friends.

• 1:06:03Speaker 04

  I was gonna, what I suggest too is like, ask the dude himself, be like, hey bro, are you drinking on the job? And if he's like, yeah, just be like, don't do that.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  Fucking chill out, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:17Stavros Halkias?

  That is interesting though, because, again, I'm just like, he's not wrong, but it's like, what the fuck do you care? I don't know, dude.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  You could be friends with this guy. What if you could be the guy who really fixes this guy up? Like, or at least helps him in this fucking part of his life.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  You could look at it as like, do you have a drinking problem?

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, you could just be like, hey bro, fucking knock that shit off, man.

• 1:06:37Stavros Halkias?

  He doesn't like this guy, though.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  Why, what's not to like? The guy fucking, he's obviously in a fucking good relationship, he's a pilot.

• 1:06:44Stavros Halkias?

  He's not a pilot, he's a fucking technician.

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Oh, he's a technician?

• 1:06:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  Alright, he's a guy who's a technician, you know, like, this guy, I'll be friends with this guy.

• 1:06:54Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, man. I, I, I get where he's coming from, being annoyed at you. At somebody break, what you're really, really annoyed at is somebody bringing people into the friend group that you don't like. That's really the crux of the matter here. And how you deal with that is either talk to your friend about it. Or, or if you want to be Machiavellian, see who feels this way about them. And then, look, at the end of the day, you don't have to hang out with people you don't like, but also. Snitching is kind of insane, I don't know. Or even confronting him about a room, what if you're wrong? What if just somebody made that up because you, they, because this guy gets drunk at a fucking concert? That like, people are like, oh, he drinks on the job too. And then he's like, you're like, do you drink on the job? He's like, what are you talk?

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine somebody telling that to you and you don't. And you'd be like, what? What the fuck are you talking about? Man, that's a weird overstep to somebody that you tolerate socially. You were gonna say something else, did you have anything?

• 1:07:50Speaker 05

  I was gonna say, I agree with you that it's like kind of none of your business, like you have to make sure the source is good. When he did make, when he did make like, when he did mention the airline though, that made it a lot more real for me where it's like. I do fly them a good amount, that's kind of weird. But at the same time, you never know like how many pilots or aircrafts out there.

• 1:08:11Stavros Halkias?

  Though, we're talking, it's, it's be, if it was fat, stone cold fact.

• 1:08:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  Even then, I would be like. Yeah, I don't like, if you had proof and you do, and you are like the kind of person who sees this as like a. Uh, as like a public good. Okay, maybe. Or you confront the guy and be like, hey, man, you should get your drink under control, this is unsafe, right? I guess, like, cause there, there's different levels, right? This is somewhere between like, um, you know.

• 1:08:41Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking like guy at a convenience store who goes to work drunk, don't care at all. Get as fucked up as you want, doesn't matter at all. And then on the other end, it's like school bus driver, right? It's like, yes, you have to stop that immediately. Airline technician, which what does that even fucking mean? It's somewhere in the middle for me, right? Where I, you know, and so, uh, I just, I, my, my larger point is, he clearly is pissed that this guy's in the friend group. That's his actual problem. And you need to bring it up with your friend and talk about it. Talk about, talk it with your other friends or, you know, may, this guy, it might just sting that your friend likes these people more than you. And you're like, I don't really want to hang out with them.

• 1:09:23Stavros Halkias?

  It might just fuck up the whole vibes of the thing, but he's just looking for an out. Where it's somebody, some, there's some other reason that this guy's not in the friend group. Unless his point is, look, I've made peace with this guy being in the friend group. I'm just, he can still, even after he gets fired from the airline. He is gonna hang out and I'm okay with that. It's just a public, um, safety thing. And if that's the case, then you have to become a fucking private eye or some shit and find actual informa- and proof that he's doing it.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  Bro, just make more friends, bro.

• 1:09:52Stavros Halkias?

  I say make more friends, yeah.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  Find people that are more like you that don't get too drunk, I guess.

• 1:09:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 04

  Personally, I want to hang out with airline guy.

• 1:10:02Stavros Halkias?

  You don't know if that man.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  That guy kicks ass.

• 1:10:04Stavros Halkias?

  You don't know if that's true. The older I get, the more I'm like, oh, people who love getting fucked up. It's like, Jesus, in your thirties, man. Like, again, being like, I like to get just fucking blackout. It's like, we're not twenty, we're on our twenties.

• 1:10:20Speaker 04

  I know I'm a shitty friend because I like hanging out with those people for the entertainment of it. But like, yeah, that guy was falling down a river. I probably wouldn't like.

• 1:10:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  Risk myself to catch him.

• 1:10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  I'd just be like, that guy was entertaining while he lasted.

• 1:10:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, well, there goes that guy. I'm wearing car- my favorite cargo shorts. I can't get in the river. What else we got, Eld?

• 1:10:43Speaker 10

  Hello, Stav, eldest and esteemed guest. Um, I have a problem with my penis.

• 1:10:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:10:50Speaker 10

  I'm twenty-two.

• 1:10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Here we go, I've been waiting for one of these.

• 1:10:53Speaker 10

  About six months ago, got out of a long-term relationship and started having sex with a woman I didn't know, that I met at bars and on hinge unprotected.

• 1:11:03Stavros Halkias?

  Unprotected.

• 1:11:04Speaker 10

  I thought it was gonna be chill, but turns out I got something on my dicks called Molesto contagiosum, which is a common benign viral skin infection that causes small raised pearly bumps on the skin.

• 1:11:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:11:18Speaker 10

  Um, basically my dick and my pubic area is covered in red bumps and it looks really not good. Anyways, so I was freaked out and went to the dermatologist and my options are either wait six to nine months for it to go away. Six, nine months? Or six to eighteen months, some people say four years. Years? Or I get, uh, liquid nitrogen treatment on my penis.

• 1:11:45Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:11:46Speaker 10

  And I am like, fuck, that sounds really painful, but I'm going into my senior year of college and am I not gonna have sex?

• 1:11:55Stavros Halkias?

  You can't.

• 1:11:56Speaker 10

  Not gonna jerk off?

• 1:11:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's insane.

• 1:12:00Speaker 10

  I have like fifty bumps on my penis and they're gonna...

• 1:12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:12:05Speaker 10

  I mean, I don't know what burning off with liquid nitrogen is, so...

• 1:12:07Stavros Halkias?

  Didn't they burn some shit off your dick, oldest?

• 1:12:09Speaker 10

  And you just need some good advice, thanks.

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  I had a wart on my leg.

• 1:12:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:12:15Speaker 05

  That they like burned off with some liquid nitrogen. I had like the sketchiest dermatologist in the world. And like a doctor's office in Astoria that was like, straight up like just a living room. Like, this guy's doctor's office was how we use this apartment for a podcast studio.

• 1:12:33Stavros Halkias?

  We're like, we sort of been burning this, we gotta turn this into a studio right now.

• 1:12:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, and it was fucked up, like, the whole time he was just complaining to me about how people are so harsh on like zoc, zoc reviews.

• 1:12:46Speaker 05

  It was really weird.

• 1:12:48Stavros Halkias?

  Hilarious, but anyway, okay, so I thought, I forgot if it was your dick or whatever. Um, this is nuts, you can't have bumps on your... First of all, don't fuck random people without a condom, okay? Uh, that's crazy, especially not random people you meet at a bar, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta cap up for situations like that.

• 1:13:06Speaker 04

  I think you just gotta go to better bars.

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  And Ralph, you do have a child, is that correct?

• 1:13:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  At wedlock?

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so that you get bumps with a child? Are you disappointed in me? I just mean, I just mean, maybe you could have worn condoms in situations, is all I'm saying.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  Ralph, you have a bastard, don't you?

• 1:13:29Stavros Halkias?

  I know, so all of a sudden it becomes a puritanical podcast.

• 1:13:33Speaker 04

  Why didn't you just do this fucking like, uh, what is that, Pawn Stars thing? I have a buddy who's an expert on this shit.

• 1:13:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 04

  Ralph, you've been with sleazy women, right?

• 1:13:41Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just saying, dude, uh, I'm just saying, uh, that you don't wanna be fucking unwrapped if you can't help it. It's my, that's my point, is like, it's, we're, we're, we're pro sluts on this podcast, but we're also pro protecting yourself. This guy ended up with, now listen, I'd probably rather have a kid than bumps all over my dick, if I'm being honest.

• 1:14:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:02Stavros Halkias?

  But, four years is nuts. And you got it, you have to go in here with ni-, you gotta fucking, you gotta get the nitrogen, it's gonna hurt, and you should know that.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, do the nitrogen. If you wait, even if you get it in six, even if you wait six months for it to go away, you're gonna be so horny at the end of those six months, you're gonna go right in back to another-

• 1:14:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna be raw dogging in no time.

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  If you get that liquid nitrogen, even if it's painful, you'll have that pain to always remind you to use a condom.

• 1:14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  Do the liquid nitrogen, bro.

• 1:14:35Stavros Halkias?

  You have to do the liquid nitrogen.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  Don't let your, also, your penis probably looks all fucking quasi-modal right now, like, don't let it look like, treat your penis with respect, man.

• 1:14:45Stavros Halkias?

  It probably looks, it probably looks like what people assume herpes is, even though he doesn't have herpes.

• 1:14:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:51Stavros Halkias?

  But that's, I don't even believe that it's benign, I mean, I guess it is.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  Or, or-

• 1:14:56Stavros Halkias?

  But that's, that sounds like he's really spinning this. A fucking red bumps that stay on your cock for up to four years is a benign infection? Doesn't sound benign to me.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  That's not benign, bro.

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  You could also maybe make some money out of this.

• 1:15:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:15:12Speaker 04

  Like, keep the bumps, and then just go give lectures, like, here's why you should wear a condom, like, show your penis to high school students.

• 1:15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't show your-

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  Professionally, like, in auditoriums.

• 1:15:24Stavros Halkias?

  Your bumpy prick to children. I wouldn't show that. You're like, let's, okay, I'm going to school for the blind, let's learn how to do Braille, everybody.

• 1:15:35Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, dude, get this laser, get this nitrogened off. Let the pain be a, a reminder of your mistakes, you know?

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 1:15:44Stavros Halkias?

  Um, tough stuff, dude.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  Go to better bars.

• 1:15:49Stavros Halkias?

  Don't raw dog strangers. Here's the thing, I'll raw dog if I know someone after a while, but I can't be raw dogging strangers.

• 1:15:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, you, I don't, well, I didn't see what school he went to, but be careful.

• 1:16:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:05Speaker 04

  Go with Christ.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the, not till you're married.

• 1:16:11Speaker 04

  Why is this guy, I, I mean, I'm reading the, the fucking transcript, why is this guy started off with sorry?

• 1:16:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it's probably picks, it very rarely gets Stavi right, so he's.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, so he says, hey, Stavi.

• 1:16:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, here's what we got, let's see.

• 1:16:23Speaker 11

  Hey, Stavi, love the show, first time, long time, my wife and I, we got a question for you. We moved into this place, we love it. Old owners left it in great condition. And after they moved out, we just kept getting packages from them. You know, at first it kind of felt like auto buys, you know, we get stuff like baby bath stuff, clothes, kid stuff. And they wouldn't come pick it up, so we would, you know, donate it, there were a couple of things we could use, so we used. And they, uh, there was one time they did like a whole back to school, tons of kids clothes. You know, they came to pick those up.

• 1:17:04Speaker 11

  But it, it's, it kept going, so, you know, like, and like women's hair products and where we're at now is, they just sent an iPad mini. It's been like almost a year and a half since we moved into this place. Like, what do we do with this? Uh, you know, did we donate this? Are we allowed to keep it? I mean, how long does this have to stay out in front of our?

• 1:17:26Speaker 04

  You kept some of it.

• 1:17:27Speaker 11

  You know, door before we take it.

• 1:17:30Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, let us know. Love you, thanks. Yeah, this is insane. It's crazy on the other people's part.

• 1:17:36Speaker 04

  The, the, I mean, it's crazy. I feel like it's a little crazy on both parts. But it's just funny to me that like, I guess the stuff that was inexpensive is an iPad. He's like, ah, I'mma give that away.

• 1:17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  But now that it's something like cool, he's like, and he's like looking for Stavie's approval, like, Stavie said I could keep it.

• 1:17:53Stavros Halkias?

  First of all, iPad mini, what the, do they still make those? Isn't that, aren't those old as fuck?

• 1:17:57Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 1:17:58Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, anyway, whatever. It's been a year and a half. Now, what's interesting to me, what puts a little, throws a little wrench in this is the fact that, um, they've come to pick up certain things. Like, if it was the kind of thing where these people move out and you just have no contact with them for the entire time, and you've tried to get in the contact and they've sort of ignored it, whatever, then it's almost like, whatever, man, you gave it a shot, but you have some strange connection, or they've come, like,

• 1:18:30Speaker 04

  Bro, look up the locals. There's gotta, look up the laws on this shit, like, there's gotta be some sort of law where it's like, if it's on your property for more than so many days.

• 1:18:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:18:40Speaker 04

  Could just be yours. Or fucking do the shady thing. Ignore these people's calls and when they come to your house, be like, I ain't seen nothing.

• 1:18:50Speaker 05

  You could say it was stolen all the time.

• 1:18:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true.

• 1:18:53Speaker 05

  Some places do.

• 1:18:54Stavros Halkias?

  Only the iPad was stolen. Hey, these shitty baby clothes, they fucking left these.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  I'd, I'd just be like, bro, I haven't seen shit and it's not my fucking problem. Like, I bought this house from you.

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  A year and a half. It is crazy.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  You can, you don't know how to change addresses on fucking Amazon?

• 1:19:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's insane.

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Be like, delete the address. Delete it. Don't just change it, delete it. Yeah, I mean, it's been so long that it's just like, you don't really have, I would say for me, a big, big ticket item, I would not feel comp, like, I would either, I would probably return to sender it or some shit like that. Um, or if you really felt like it, you could, uh, you know, get in contact with them. But I think like, basically, if you ever get in contact again, you should be like, hey, Uh, just so you know, we're not, I'm never doing this again. Like if you ever talk to them again, and be like, hey, this is unacceptable. Um, we're just donating everything that comes, uh, you know, that that gets sent our way.

• 1:19:56Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, because we just don't wanna deal with this anymore. And I think you're fine, but.

• 1:20:01Speaker 04

  I think this is a perfect opportunity.

• 1:20:03Stavros Halkias?

  Or just return to sender it, whatever.

• 1:20:05Speaker 04

  Nah, fuck that, bro. Just fucking, like, give the iPad to, like, some, some relative that you had a falling out with. And be like, let's squash shit. And it just looks so good on you.

• 1:20:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's not a bad idea. Use it to your advantage. Use it to your personal game.

• 1:20:21Speaker 04

  Give away these gifts as if you bought them.

• 1:20:23Stavros Halkias?

  I like that.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, fix your relationships.

• 1:20:25Stavros Halkias?

  Year and a half is nuts.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, that person, that's on them, you know?

• 1:20:30Stavros Halkias?

  I would say after, I mean, the bit, the, yeah, it is on them. I mean, maybe, I, I think your point of like, look up the laws is a good one. Uh, just so you're covered, but I think at some point, you might just wanna be like, hey, please stop getting things sent here. Please delete this address. We don't wanna deal with this. And anything further will just be thrown away. You could just say that. Uh, there's probably just, just to cover yourself. Cause I mean, you know, they also probably don't give a fuck. These people are fucking stupid, it sounds like. Imagine doing this for a year and a half. It's okay, it happens three times, and then you fucking like, I gotta delete that bullshit.

• 1:21:08Speaker 04

  Also, the, like, these people with some of the stuff that they never picked up. How much money do they make? They're just ordering shit and just being like, ah.

• 1:21:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's, that's the other point is that these people clearly, if they don't give a fuck at all about this many deliveries, then they're also probably have the money to not give a fuck, so fuck them. It's their fault. Somebody who's like, who an iPad mini matters to is not just kinda letting it chill there, nil, willy nilly.

• 1:21:31Speaker 04

  I order an iPad mini, I'm making sure it's my fucking address.

• 1:21:34Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, dude. I just ordered some fucking tracksuits. I'm double checking. I'm double checking that's my address.

• 1:21:42Speaker 04

  Um, alright, fuck these people. What else, you know, maybe we got time for one more, maybe one more and a quick one, Eldis?

• 1:21:49Speaker 06

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• 1:22:18Speaker 07

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• 1:22:48Speaker 12

  Hello, Star Wars, honorable guest, and general disdain for the Albanian's presence.

• 1:22:52Speaker 05

  Fuck you, bro.

• 1:22:53Speaker 12

  I'll get right down to it. I fucked this girl about two years ago. We had like a weekend fling right before I went back to university over Christmas break. She's great, so funny, just the kind of person I'd want to be in a relationship with. So I moved away and we talked for a bit, but I kind of dwindled off, right? So she dates a guy for about a year in between, I'm back two years later, and she just broke up with this guy. How do I get back with this girl and turn it from like the fuck buddy you get to get with right after a breakup? Because she had just got out of a five-year relationship the first time, I forgot to mention that. It turns this into like a real ass relationship. Because I don't know, I just, there was such a spark the first time, I really want to kind of capture my opportunity here and not waste my window.

• 1:23:37Speaker 12

  Because I mean, she could get back with someone right away, I don't know. Anyway, any advice is appreciated. Thank you very much, and sorry about the other voice sounds.

• 1:23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:23:46Speaker 04

  Hey, this guy is like a good guy, man.

• 1:23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  You, this guy compared to the first guy. You have range in your listeners.

• 1:23:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:57Speaker 04

  You have like romantic comedy main character guys.

• 1:23:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, true. Yeah, like this guy might be cooked because he's too good a person. I feel the desperation and desire in his voice, which is good. I would say the jet, the thing to be aware of here is that like, he clearly wants this. This might be the rare time where it's like, do you know that she wants that from you? You think she's awesome. You might just be some little, he might be a piece of meat to her. He might be living your dream, Ralph.

• 1:24:25Speaker 04

  You might not have a good personality.

• 1:24:29Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so you have to be prepared for that. But I would say, I mean dude, this is pretty simple. It's been, it's been two years, right, Eldis? So, two years is a long enough time where you just fucking, you're back in the town. You're, you're done with college or whatever. You ask her, you just like ask her out, you do, relationship stuff with her. You've, you know that you guys, like if you hit her up, you're like, hey, wanna get dinner? And she's like, no, but why don't you come over to my apartment at 1 a.m.? You got a good idea about what she thinks of you, right?

• 1:25:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:03Stavros Halkias?

  But if you say, hey, wanna get dinner, she comes, great. You go to dinner, you fucking whatever.

• 1:25:08Speaker 04

  I think if you, if you get to go to dinner with her, you tell her straight up at the dinner like, hey, uh, I would like to, like for real date you.

• 1:25:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the other thing though, it has been two years. That's why I think you do a real date to just kinda catch the vibes.

• 1:25:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:23Stavros Halkias?

  Cause right now he's going off of what it was two years ago. And he's a different person, she's a different person. She might just be like, looking at us like, nice. One of my old hoes. Get back on the horse, suck a little dick, get ready for next, I meet my husband after that. You know what I mean? He's looking at us like, this is my wife. She might look at it like, oh, nice. This is just kinda.

• 1:25:43Speaker 04

  That's true. Don't move too fast, bro. Cause what if she's changed so much now? You, what if you meet up with her for dinner and she's like, oh, I caught some bumps from some weird.

• 1:25:54Stavros Halkias?

  I have benign rash on my pussy. I'll have fi, I'll have red bumps for four years, for a presidential term. Then around the next Olympics, my pussy will clear up. So. Uh, yeah, I think you just go, you just go fi- figure out the vibes, see. Go, go out, do something that's like not overtly sexual right up top. And just catch the vibes, see how the first hangout goes. And then if things go well, I think on the second one, you could be like, hey, it's been great. Yeah, I've been, I've, I've had a great time. I had a really great time two years ago. Um, and I feel like those vibes are still here. You know, I was moving away. You had just gotten out of a relationship back then.

• 1:26:39Stavros Halkias?

  But now it feels like, you know, from my, what I'm looking for right now is something serious. Or you could even be like, hey, I've grown up a little bit. I'm not looking just for a fling. We have some great chemistry. I enjoy spending time with you. Yeah. Why don't we? Yeah. How far this can go. Yeah, let's fi- let's hang out and it's like I, I'm looking for something a little more serious. I think that's fine, but I think you try the first hangout. And if you were even granted one serious hangout, you'll know kind of automatically how she feels about you. Um, and then listen, I'm not saying you should quit on that. You could even try, even if she sees it as a, as a fuck buddy situation. You could kind of go in there and be like, hey, I actually would like something more serious and see how she responds to that.

• 1:27:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I'm not trying to get married or anything, but like I don't, I want to be a little, the context needs to be a little more serious than just we fuck, which sounds crazy to me. It's like, I'm hearing that. I'm like, that sucks, but it's like, no, that's good. You're right. I hope this works out, bro. Like I'm. I do too. Invested now. I do too. Let us know if it works out.

• 1:27:42Stavros Halkias?

  You got something fun for us to go out on, Eldis?

• 1:27:47Speaker 13

  Davi, what's up, baby? Um, booked a trip to Greece.

• 1:27:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's my boyfriend.

• 1:27:53Speaker 13

  For the summer for two weeks. Really excited. Uh, so naturally I'm brushing up on my Greek culture by watching season two of The Wire.

• 1:28:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:28:04Speaker 13

  Um, and I plan on using, uh, the word malaka a lot. Think I'm really gonna lean on that one.

• 1:28:14Speaker 13

  So I'm wondering, is that a word that is used in like day to day casual exchanges between friends that maybe like to rip on each other in Greece? Um, so is that, am I gonna stick out like a sore thumb if I use that? Um. And also, what are some other words that uh, that I might be able to use just so that the locals know that even though I'm American? Uh, I'm not one of the bad ones and I like to, like to fuck around. So uh, yeah, any advice much appreciated. Thanks, man.

• 1:28:46Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Okay, so this guy's going to Greece. And the term malaka is like a, it's kinda like, it technically translates to jerk off. But it's kinda closer to our like asshole. It's just kinda like our standard like curse word, like malak, you know, you call everybody a malaka. Um, it is a little like you call your friend, like it would be like, if, if you're visiting, if you're like a a Greek guy and you're visiting America, you're not gonna go into a Starbucks and say, hey, can I have some coffee, you jerk off? That's what you would sound like. Just as, you know what I mean? So it's like, that's not really what you wanna lead with. Now,

• 1:29:27Stavros Halkias?

  Greek people love when, now if you're like at a bar or something and you've kinda struck up a little conversation, people, Greek people love when you throw some curse words at them. You know what I mean? Malaka. Um, uh, the other, the other, I don't know if I even wanna say it, cause it's, it's, cause our uh, slur for gay people is a little softer than the F than the, I feel like, you know, hitting, hitting gay guys with a hard F. Isn't so fun here in America. In Greece, now I don't know if we're just a more homophobic country, but I feel more comfortable saying it in Greek and it's a funnier sounding word. But I don't know that I'm gonna tell you it. And I don't know that I'm gonna say it on record. I'll tell it to you off camera, but um.

• 1:30:11Speaker 04

  You gotta release this guy into Greece with as many fucking bad words.

• 1:30:15Stavros Halkias?

  As many slur, I mean, puta is dick, right? Um, malaka puta, muni, muni is, muni is pussy. Um.

• 1:30:25Speaker 04

  I think that you should have as much fun as you, you can in Greece and make as many friends as you can. And I think the best way to find your friend group in Greece is by being yourself. Being yourself is saying malaka to strangers. My locker that shit up, bro.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  I do think a lot more people than you'd expect would like it. But I think I you just gotta have one little interact, one little smile. But it's again, it's like a foreigner coming into America and be like, hi asshole jerk off. You know what I mean? Like, can I have a sandwich, please?

• 1:30:59Speaker 05

  One time Stavon his brother's egg me on to tell his dad in Greek, stop jerking me off, you. And then like a slur, that's like an extreme F slur kind. That's like ass party or something.

• 1:31:10Stavros Halkias?

  Piso glendi. No, no, that was more fun.

• 1:31:12Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Piso glendi literally translates to party from behind. And that's a term for gay guys.

• 1:31:20Speaker 05

  Stop, stop jerking me off ass party or in Greek to him. And I found it's like a big laugh.

• 1:31:26Stavros Halkias?

  We all thought it was gonna kill and my dad.

• 1:31:29Speaker 05

  His dad just kinda looked at me. You could tell he was like annoyed. He did not go over.

• 1:31:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like it at all, which is crazy. That is my dad's sense of humor. I don't know. You we caught him on a bad day.

• 1:31:39Speaker 04

  That was like, you set that up, right?

• 1:31:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

• 1:31:43Speaker 04

  Really disappointed in you at that.

• 1:31:45Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I don't know. But my dad, no, my dad is.

• 1:31:48Speaker 05

  We're like older too. It's not even like we're a little kid.

• 1:31:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was a little kid. You're like, why are my kid, my kids and his friend cursing? But you know, we were like twenty three, twenty four. And my dad hated it. And it was like, it it was on him because that was objectively funny. Uh, but yeah, you, we, we, that was a tough one. My dad did not like that at all.

• 1:32:07Speaker 04

  Ass party from behind?

• 1:32:08Stavros Halkias?

  Piso glendi.

• 1:32:09Speaker 04

  Piso glendi? It means party from behind?

• 1:32:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, piso is behind glendi is party, behind party.

• 1:32:16Speaker 04

  Behind party, piso glendi.

• 1:32:18Stavros Halkias?

  It's more of an obscure one, but it's a fun one. It's a very fun one.

• 1:32:22Speaker 04

  I'm gonna type that down.

• 1:32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:24Speaker 04

  Harasper, P I S O?

• 1:32:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, G L G L E N D I.

• 1:32:31Speaker 04

  Piso glendi. I'm gonna call my next special that.

• 1:32:34Stavros Halkias?

  Piso glendis?

• 1:32:36Speaker 04

  Ass party.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Guy who likes to party from behind. Um, there it is. So anyway, that's a, that's a fun one. I think people would be kinda surprised you even know that one. Uh, but look, man, enjoy Greece. Don't worry about cursing at the locals. Everybody speaks English there. You throw a couple curse words there, they'll like it. Malaka, puta, muni, you know, or be, go up to a guy. Go up to a guy that you're trying to be friends with and be like, celo muni. It means I want pussy. He'll love that. He'll be like, yo, what's celo muni? I also want pussy. Uh, you'll bond over not getting pussy at a bar in Greece. It'll be awesome. Um, anyway, that's gonna do it for us. Ralph, thanks for coming, man. This was so fun.

• 1:33:14Speaker 04

  Uh, thanks for having me.

• 1:33:15Stavros Halkias?

  Guys, go watch the special on Hulu right now, Planet Bosa. Uh, and you've got a bunch of stuff though. You've got, uh, old specials.

• 1:33:22Speaker 04

  I started a YouTube channel called Formula Bean where we fix up cars we find on Facebook Marketplace.

• 1:33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah. That's, that's a great idea, dude.

• 1:33:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, we've blown up our first car. Stay tuned, Formula Bean.

• 1:33:34Stavros Halkias?

  And you might hear the haunted ghost of the, of the garage too, if you're lucky. Um, wow, that's, Matt Rife's buying haunted dolls. You're living in a, you're in a haunted garage? We need to do some kinda haunted shit, Eldis?

• 1:33:47Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah. Buy my garage, Matt Rife.

• 1:33:50Stavros Halkias?

  Put the Annabelle doll in the haunted garage. Let him fight it out.

• 1:33:54Speaker 04

  You, you can have my uncle.

• 1:33:58Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that's gonna do it for us, folks. We'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.

• 1:34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts, or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.