#202 - Grace Kuhlenschmidt

Grace Kuhlenschmidt returns to the pod to discuss being targeted as inspiration in her Soulcycle class, kids these days just not getting invisible ink, why dating men before coming out felt terrible, getting sober again, the going rate for a kush volcano, and much more. Grace and Stav help callers including a woman whose high school bully is now a waitress at her parents' favorite restaurant, and an extreme spendthrift who's weighing continuing to be cheap vs. loosening up and embracing his current relationship. Follow Grace Kuhlenschmidt on social media: https://www.instagram.com/gkuhlenschmidt/ https://www.tiktok.com/@gkuhlenschmidt https://x.com/GKuhlenschmidt Thanks to our sponsor!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎤 Watch Uncle Stav on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavies World, 904-800-Stav. All the Stavies World hotline, sponsored by our pals at Visible, and will solve all your problems. On the couch, returning, Grace Kuhlenschmidt. Grace, thanks for coming to the new, uh, the new studio.

• 0:49Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 0:49Stavros Halkias?

  You didn't have to come to Astoria, Queens.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  I know, but I'll never forget when I, when I did do your podcast last time. I was like, wow, you're like really in a place I've never really met people who live.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  You were like, I'm so fucking close to the airport. I was like, that's awesome. I guess if whatever makes you happy.

• 1:08Stavros Halkias?

  That, listen, I, I lived there when I was just like making fifteen hundred dollars a weekend, playing like shitty comedy club. No, no airport.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:18Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, no airfare, you know, the shittiest hotel of your life.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  You were still very famous to me at that time, though. I'm sorry that the money wasn't reflecting, so.

• 1:26Stavros Halkias?

  Well, when I, when I found it, I was like, fucking great, dude. Anything can get me a LaGuardia. And also, to be fair, that was, I've said this before, but Greek people have such a fucking villager's mindset.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's the Greek neighborhood, Astoria.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:39Stavros Halkias?

  And I was just like, oh, I guess that's where I belong.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  You saw one guy who looked like you and you were like, I'm home.

• 1:47Stavros Halkias?

  I'm home. Two old, fat Greek people are arguing literally across the street all the time. There was, there was across the street, a fat, a fat old guy who would just sit on a stoop and just kind of wait for teenagers to try and sit on there. And he would just appear and be like, what the fuck you doing? Get off, this is not a cafeteria. He would be like, this is not a restaurant, you can't have sandwich here.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:08Stavros Halkias?

  And he would just kind of, he would just kind of wait to harass teenagers. And he would never go upstairs. His wife would fucking pass him shit. They were on the.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  No way, with a rope?

• 2:19Stavros Halkias?

  With a fucking rope. They had a pulley system. Did you ever see that couple? It was like a fat guy and he had his tits out.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 2:27Stavros Halkias?

  That was, yeah, you weren't as observant.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  That's a compliment, by the way. He had his fucking tits out.

• 2:31Stavros Halkias?

  He did have his tits out. He was awesome. He was the kind of old guy I want to be minus harassing teenagers.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  I will say, though, the pulley system is like the dream. Like, I used to, like, I feel like, was that in like movies or something growing up? Where it's like, that just always seemed so fun to me.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there was the, I believe, the dumb waiter, which was sort of like the rich version of that, where it was like, I feel like I saw that in dumpster checks in for the first time.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  Where it was just like, you know, you put something down, you just put something and then it kind of goes down. It's basically like the fancy version of a rope and pulley. But yes, I think that was, there was a lot of, uh, I think a lot of nineties and kids entertainment was like hijinks.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 3:11Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was like, right, but we did not, I did not grow up, you're younger than me, obviously, but I grew up right before kids like had access and to dream about gadgets and computers and shit.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:23Stavros Halkias?

  Now I feel like kids are hacking, they have like, you know, whatever. We're talking Harriet the Spy. Like, our entertainment was like, what if a little girl was a noir detective? You know what I mean? Like, it was like, it was so, it was so like old fashioned and it was like, closer to like Bugs Bunny.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  She only had a magnifying glass.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  She just had the magnifying glass? I don't really remember that.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  I remember like.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  I did love Harriet the Spy.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  In fifth grade and I asked for a spy gear kit.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah, dude.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  For Christmas.

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's probably Harriet the Spy's doing.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  I think I saw it in like a bookstore.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  I don't know what was, there was like a laser pointer.

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  Laser pointer.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  And there are so many spy things you can do with that.

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, put, shine it into a bus driver's eyes. Um, I believe it was like, there'd always be like some kind of decoding ring or like a.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 4:09Stavros Halkias?

  There'd, there'd be invisible ink. That was big. Invisible ink was kind of the pinnacle of technology.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  That was the coolest thing ever.

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  It's still, I.

• 4:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's still pretty sick.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  I hope kids are still using that.

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  They're not.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  I haven't checked in on.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Now, you know what they're doing? They're using the invisible ink function on their freaking iMessage.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  Can you fricking believe it? These fucking kids don't even fucking know about real invisible ink.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:37Stavros Halkias?

  They're sending pics of their cocks and tits to each other with the invisible ink function. I mean, what the hell has gotten into them, man?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  We just have to draw our.

• 4:47Stavros Halkias?

  He's just a draw tits in invisible ink and then use UV light to jack off to it.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  Now these fricking kids are sending tits and cock to each other with the invisible ink in high definition. I mean, what the hell?

• 5:00Speaker 02

  That's why they can't keep jobs, you know?

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's why.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  It's too easy for them.

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's too easy to beat off these days. It's really fu, it's really fudged up, if you ask me.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Totally, totally. I feel like I kind of, okay, I'm thirty-one, so I was born in nineteen ninety-five. I'm like, there's only a few years after me that I think are okay.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're the cutoff, actually.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Really?

• 5:21Stavros Halkias?

  You said, how, you said ninety-one?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Ninety-five.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right there, bro.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:25Stavros Halkias?

  And you have a youthful spirit. I would, I would, I would have cut you a couple of years younger than even ninety-five.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  You very much.

• 5:31Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Thank you, I appreciate that.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  So we're, we're like, I do think we're sort of, then this makes sense why you're related. I was like, oh, fuck, she's invisible and carried the spy, but you were right on the edge. I feel like I was at the.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  I have an older brother as well, so of course I inherited some.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Amazing knowledge from him.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much older?

• 5:48Speaker 02

  He's like three years.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, nice.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Three and a half, maybe.

• 5:50Stavros Halkias?

  Perfect, perfect.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, I mean, learned everything from that fella.

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  That is, I always did, I was pissed about being the older sibling. Cause it's, I had to do shit. I had to be the responsible one. It must be nice.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  He got in trouble.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really? Awesome.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  And then by the time I was doing the same things, like, I like was completely fine.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  He had worn them down.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  My mom was like picking me up from parties.

• 6:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  But like, he'd get caught drunk and he'd be like, truly like in his room, yeah.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  It's wild.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  Get me out of here.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  For real.

• 6:22Stavros Halkias?

  You can't take away my invisible ink. How am I supposed to draw a picture of my cock and mail them to girls I'm trying to fuck, mom?

• 6:29Speaker 02

  And my mom would pick me up and be like, you kind of smell like cigarettes. And I'd be like, I still thought I had to lie. I was like, you won't believe it, mom, this guy was blowing smoke directly on me all night long. So he's taking puffs and blowing it at me.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny. Yeah, I wonder, I wonder, I really was scared to like admit that I was doing bad stuff.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  It's a scary thing.

• 6:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, even though I was like, I don't know, I really did have a goody-two-shoes streak in me. First, I, I wanted the world to like make sense. I wanted authority to be smart and, you know what I mean?

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think I was, as a kid, I was like, oh, you know, if I just listened to them. It was really, it's so fucking pathetic, not pathetic, but it's like so cliche, but I was like, somebody who was awesome got brain cancer when I was fifteen and I was like, oh, the world's bullshit.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Oh, that's the best way to learn that.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  This is the only guy who didn't, literally, I'm not exaggerating, the only Greek man I ever met growing up that did not cheat on his wife, got brain cancer. And now I'm starting to think, hold on a second.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, there has to be a significant correlation.

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wait a second, do I have to cheat if I want to stay alive?

• 7:41Speaker 02

  A hundred percent. Scientists are scared to go there. No, it's really fucking true.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I've.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Only if you're Greek.

• 7:48Stavros Halkias?

  Only if you're, absolutely, that's the thing. Certain Mediterranean types of ethnicities.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 7:53Stavros Halkias?

  You have to cheat or a, a lesion forms in your brain.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  That if left unchecked.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  And if you like check in on your children and take, and take, take, oh, I'm worried about my brother.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Right, and Elvis, you're about to have a kid, so just be a bad dad.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  True, true. Here's the thing, Elvis won't cheat, but he will just be so oblivious to the needs of his child. If his job is, if his job is podcast producer is any indication, he will try his hardest and still do a bad job. So he's got it checked out.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  He's gonna have, you're gonna have a kid who's gonna be like, my dad is a podcast producer.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  That stuff, I have thought about that.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  Ben's catching strays because he's good at being a podcast producer.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  I'm also here.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  You guys are fucking pathetic.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, Ben, we're just pieces of shit, dude.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  Are you guys virgins?

• 8:49Speaker 02

  No, but you know what? At least you don't have to say podcaster.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. It could be worse.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  You really are just right on the edge there.

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  It could be way, way worse.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  It really could.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I've, I've.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  My dream, my dream is to have my child, you know, become a famous YouTuber by Stav. I kind of know the ins and outs now to really streamline that from them.

• 9:08Stavros Halkias?

  This is so.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  That'll be my greatest project yet.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  What kind of YouTube vibe are you feeling for him?

• 9:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, or her. I think, we don't know. We don't know.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Them.

• 9:17Stavros Halkias?

  That, well, let's not get crazy.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  Not in my household.

• 9:22Stavros Halkias?

  Not in an Albanian household. Well, yeah, Albanians, they'll be, they can be trans, but you gotta choose. That's really, that's really their stance. It's like, look, we're open to the spectrum, but no wishy-washy bullshit.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  Pick one. You can switch it, but you gotta pick.

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what would you like a Mr. Beast type? I feel you would love to be Mr. Beast dad.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  That would, that would be awesome. To have a kid who knows that people will watch them sitting in front of a camera and counting to a million.

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  I would, I would love that.

• 9:57Stavros Halkias?

  That would do something for you. You would be happy about that.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  If they got views, if not, I'd be disappointed.

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  If they just did it because they loved it.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  If we're under a hundred views, we're really, it's really scary.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  I'm like, look, you have a few months of trying to build your views up, but if this isn't catching on, you gotta pivot. Maybe we gotta look at some family stuff. Maybe you need to get a little fatter and we get some Rizler guys.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  There we go. That's smart.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  And then, you know, the emergency pool is, uh, you know, we gotta start dancing.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, we gotta learn some.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Dancing at Costco.

• 10:33Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, what Eldis is gonna do, he's gonna try with his child. The kid's gonna be like, I would rather not, I live this kind of pathetic lifestyle like you. And then he's gonna cast a fake family and build a set somewhere on, in this studio. And he won't tell me about it. He will come at 1 a.m. when I'm not here. And he will secretly be filming fake lifestyle family content with sets on a green screen.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  With like a fat little girl and like.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  You know what? I'd love to see that because I, the ethical question of like, should you be posting your kids online and should you be making?

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  No. How about we cast?

• 11:08Stavros Halkias?

  How about we cast children that are already fucked? Look, if you're a child actor, you're fucked anyway. All right?

• 11:14Speaker 02

  So true.

• 11:15Stavros Halkias?

  So let's save our beautiful, regular children to have nice lives. We're sort of just sacrificing. We, it's kind of, it is essentially The Hunger Games, if you think about it, child stars. Is we decide, we pick like 10 kids.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  We decide if they're gonna be drug addicts and die, or if they're gonna be like, okay.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, no, they're, they're gonna be drug addicts and die. It doesn't turn out good.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  No, Hilary Duff is on tour right now, Starbros. Answer me that.

• 11:40Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? Hilary Duff is the, she, she's clearly so much stronger than what we could throw at her.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  She might be so type A that drugs and alcohol couldn't even like penetrate her.

• 11:51Stavros Halkias?

  She, yeah, she's so, she's like so type A. She's talented. She's hot. She's insane. I mean, she's looking insanely good these days. And here's when she survived. Is she still married to a guy from Good Charlotte?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, the band, the band guy.

• 12:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe, and I think, are they still married? Didn't one of the guys date somebody in a fucked up situation? The good, yeah, God forbid, Eldis, Ben is literally producing and Googling. God forbid you fucking open a laptop.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  I know Hilary Duff is with a musician because the musician follows me on Instagram.

• 12:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  And I think I followed him back because I was like, you're married to Hilary Duff?

• 12:27Stavros Halkias?

  I had a respect for Hillary, absolutely. Saw the Lizzie McGuire movie in theaters, actually.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Whoa, that must have been fucking awesome.

• 12:35Stavros Halkias?

  It was like seeing the Beatles live.

• 12:40Stavros Halkias?

  I went to my little cousin's birthday party when I was like, you know.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  The Odyssey just can't even compare.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. And I remember, because I think I'm the same age as her, literally.

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Really?

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  I think she's 36.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  You guys are very similar.

• 12:50Stavros Halkias?

  We're fair. People, everywhere I go, people are like, you're like, are you like related to Hilary Duff? Like, I see it in the face. The bone structure.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Starbros Duff, right?

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they changed it to Halcyon at Ellis Island, but the traditional Greek name is Duff.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, Ben, what do we have?

• 13:09Speaker 04

  She's age 38.

• 13:11Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful.

• 13:11Speaker 04

  She was not married to the musician you mentioned. She was actually married to a hockey player.

• 13:20Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck was married to Good Charlotte? No, it's somebody else too.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Oh, is it?

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  And somebody in a fucked up way, like it was a type of a.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  No, it's, uh, Nicole Richie.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yes!

• 13:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, there we go. Eldis didn't need to Google for that one.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  He's been dying to say that name.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, we're big Richie fans here.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Okay, but she's married to a musician now.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  She is, yes.

• 13:44Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, fuck.

• 13:45Speaker 04

  Never heard of the guy. His name is Matt Koma.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Totally. He follows me on Instagram, so he obviously has a gray head on his shoulders.

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  I was kind of hoping she was divorced. Like, I had, I had, I had pieced together this whole.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  This podcast clip would go viral, go straight to her.

• 13:58Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, not this. I was hoping she wasn't gonna see this because that would have ruined the whole plan. But I was just kind of hoping like, look, I'm in, things are going well for me right now.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 14:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in range to be a beautiful woman's second husband. She's already done the hockey player, the musician. She's out of that. She wants a nice fat guy to help raise her children. And I've, I've honestly settled, I'm so, it's so clear my destiny as stepdad.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's one of the, when I realized that, I was like, oh my God, obviously I was meant to be a fucking stepdad.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, like you.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  Clearly what I am.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  You ooze it.

• 14:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, and I'd love to.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  I had a great childhood, but just hearing you say that, I'm like pissed you weren't my stepdad.

• 14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wouldn't it be, wouldn't you be kind of, you would hate me at first.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Oh, but.

• 14:42Stavros Halkias?

  But after a couple of weekends.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  That's the thing. So brief.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not gonna push it on you. Hey, we're grilling burgers out here and we're watching fucking. Yeah, we're grilling burgers. We're, we're fucking doing cannonballs in the pool. You can come, you cannot come, but you don't even have to talk to me. I just want you to have a good time.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Stepkids are going back and they're like, I've never seen a bigger splash from a cannonball. This guy is fucking amazing.

• 15:06Stavros Halkias?

  Kids love a big ass cannonball. So if I catch you young enough, now look.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Really?

• 15:11Stavros Halkias?

  If I got somebody at around 14, 15, that's tough, right?

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I kind of want you in there at seven.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Seven, because then we're cruising, then you trust me by your teenage years.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 15:22Stavros Halkias?

  And then I'm like, look, your mom's a little uptight.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 15:25Stavros Halkias?

  If you smoke a little weed, it's not the end of the world.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Call me. I won't snitch. You know, I'll have, I'll be that guy. So I was kind of thinking, all right, do I deserve? In, in any way, do I deserve to be married to Hilary Duff? No. But if enough, if she's divorced, right? Had a bad experience with pretty boys, right? They broke her heart, right?

• 15:46Speaker 02

  She needs a prettier boy.

• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  She needs an even prettier boy.

• 15:50Stavros Halkias?

  She need, you know, like, and I, and maybe perhaps she, you know, uh, she catches the movie Tony that was out. You know, and she's like, there's something charming about that guy.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then I happened to be at, you know, some kind of, uh, I'm at these, these heavy hitter celebrity events now. You know, things sponsored by.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Dude, things are really looking good for you.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  For example, or Halo, the, the.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Ninja Creamy?

• 16:16Stavros Halkias?

  The Ninja Creamy.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Things are sponsored by Ninja?

• 16:18Stavros Halkias?

  Let's say I'm at a Ninja Creamy event, right?

• 16:21Speaker 02

  If you, that's like.

• 16:22Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, hold on. Let's say, and I'm whipping up.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  You're talking about like the Golden Globe?

• 16:27Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, yeah, obviously. We get there too, but I'm saying at the creamy event, I'm the belle of the ball. I'm the most famous guy at the Ninja Creamy activation, right? And yes, are they eyeing me for a sponsorship Q4? Yes. So I'm there on.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  This guy's fucking perfect.

• 16:46Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm there on business and then I whip up one of the fucking most delicious, high protein, low calorie desserts. And who do I see as I'm like, mm, and I'm handing it out and then, and I put them out in little cups because look, I like to serve. I like to, I'm like, you gotta try this, right?

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:02Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm showing the execs, look how good I am at this fucking product. And then somebody's like, what's that? That looks good.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, oh, I don't even see who it is. I have a generous spirit. I said, take it. I'm done with it. I've had a couple of spoonfuls for show.

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:16Stavros Halkias?

  I want you, you, I hear an angelic voice.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's Hillary, she takes, I don't even know. I hear, mm. I turn around, who is it? It's Hilary Duff.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  She goes, this can't be high protein.

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  This can't be high protein, low calorie.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  It's too good. It must have been made by an amazing chef.

• 17:33Stavros Halkias?

  Who has, who in his spirit would be an excellent stepfather for my rambunctious young preteens.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  He must have been in a movie about a chef because the recipe is delectable.

• 17:44Stavros Halkias?

  And this is years later, so I haven't done anything else. I'm still talking about Tony.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Tony instead of your last.

• 17:54Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, that, I guess that's out, but so I'm gonna be in a bad mood the rest of this fucking podcast.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Totally, totally.

• 18:01Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, what do you want to fucking talk about, dude?

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Because, um, you know, I watched Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie the other day.

• 18:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  I'm very serious. I think it was one of my favorite movies I have ever seen.

• 18:14Stavros Halkias?

  Matt.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I was truly like, my eyes were teary at moments. Like I was like so delighted by it.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, no, it's so fucking good. I mean, have you seen the show?

• 18:24Speaker 02

  No, I haven't.

• 18:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's coming to Hulu, I think, so you should check it out. Just plugging shit I have nothing to do, just my friend's show.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  No, totally.

• 18:30Stavros Halkias?

  But check it out. It actually is good.

• 18:31Speaker 02

  No, yeah, yeah.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking awesome. And Matt, Matt's the fucking man. He directed, he directed my special too.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Oh, really? I didn't know that.

• 18:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. So.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 18:40Stavros Halkias?

  We had a very, yeah, he's a man. He's so fucking cool. Uh, and the movie's fucking good. He's a good director. Uh, you know, he is a Canadian piece of shit. There's something there.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  It's hard to understand them.

• 18:51Stavros Halkias?

  Something off about Canadians for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, just the politeness.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  No, they really are.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  But in a way that's not real.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Did you film in Canada?

• 19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, we, Matt is polite for the record, but other Canadians, there's something off about them.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know what you mean.

• 19:05Stavros Halkias?

  He's odd in his own way. It's not about being Canadian. He's weird for multiple reasons.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can sense that.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  But, uh, no, we filmed on Cape, Cape Cod actually. So first time I ever got over there.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  That's awesome. I just went to Cape Cod for work recently as well.

• 19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  I was apparently in like the worst town in Cape Cod.

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  Judging a, an oysters eating competition.

• 19:28Stavros Halkias?

  I got offered to do something like that and I couldn't, the, the schedule didn't work out. I am available to emcee.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Professional eating competition, hosting or judging, literally count us in.

• 19:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, without question.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  We're a package deal.

• 19:40Stavros Halkias?

  Without question.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Because you're more likely to take the offer. Yeah, it's, it's the both of us. We only work together.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  I don't watch somebody slurp 40 oysters without Cool and Schmidt. That's on my fucking rider.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  How many oysters do you think you can do in one sitting?

• 19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well, two dozen without even thinking about it.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Without even, it doesn't even, it doesn't even, that, we start counting at twenty-five, right?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:05Stavros Halkias?

  So, I would say-

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, twenty-five is one.

• 20:08Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty-five is one, as far as I'm concerned.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  You're a fucking pro. If not, if you're a pussy, then sure.

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess, count them all. Um, I think I could, yeah, I think four dozen, no problem.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 20:21Stavros Halkias?

  If I needed to.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know, if it was dire.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  For this hypothetical, you need to.

• 20:26Stavros Halkias?

  And like-

• 20:26Speaker 02

  It's to save people.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  Let's say pure, yeah, to save people, right? It's like, there's a big trap.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a meteor, and-

• 20:34Stavros Halkias?

  I'm thinking, oh, I'm thinking more Bugs Bunny where it's like, people are above a big boiling pot.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 20:39Stavros Halkias?

  Or a volcano, maybe?

• 20:40Speaker 02

  That's freaky.

• 20:41Stavros Halkias?

  And there are like a big thatch cage or whatever.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 20:44Stavros Halkias?

  And with every oyster I eat-

• 20:47Speaker 02

  They get a little closer.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  The rope gets a little closer to the ground.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Oh, god.

• 20:50Stavros Halkias?

  But if I don't eat them fast enough-

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Anyone else have shows?

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  I like meteor though, too, but I don't know that, I don't know what my oyster eating, I don't know how that could counteract the meteor.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  It's like, kind of, um, what do they say you get from oysters, like, make you horny?

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  What's that called?

• 21:06Stavros Halkias?

  I get so, it's the aphrodisiac.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, the aphrodisiac, kind of like, it illuminates like a, an aura that, um, kind of-

• 21:14Stavros Halkias?

  It scares the meteor?

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  The meteor is so-

• 21:17Speaker 02

  It's a little more complex than your-

• 21:18Stavros Halkias?

  It's psychological. It's like, the meteor can sense, cause like, we, we think of these things as having no intelligence.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  But perhaps it has an ancient intelligence, right?

• 21:27Speaker 02

  True.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Perhaps it's a part of an ancient planet that senses sexual vitality.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  And it's coming to Earth to destroy, cause it's like, nobody here fucks that good.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 21:39Stavros Halkias?

  Every, it's a bunch of limp dick pieces of shit.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Look, we do this all the time. We did it just the other day with the dinosaurs.

• 21:44Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  It like, has a bad sense of time.

• 21:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. To them, you know, millions of years is nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what the hell, guys? You're not even supposed to be here. And I guess that dinosaurs didn't fuck that good, which I could see. If your neck is that long-

• 21:57Speaker 02

  No, they're, they're just-

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  A brontosaurus, for example.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  There's no flexibility when it comes to the dinosaurs.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  And you're top-heavy.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 22:03Stavros Halkias?

  If your neck is that long-

• 22:04Speaker 02

  I consider myself top-heavy as well.

• 22:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  But I'm, I've got a little more flex.

• 22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  You know, I got a little more pep in my step. Yes.

• 22:13Stavros Halkias?

  I just wonder giraffes, too, how do they fuck? If your neck is that long-

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:19Stavros Halkias?

  And your dick and pussy are so far away from your head-

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's gotta be difficult in terms of penetration.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  Also, because their, yeah, their bodies are so sho- short.

• 22:29Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  But they gotta, what do they call it? Like, um-

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  Mount?

• 22:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, mount. They gotta mount somehow.

• 22:34Stavros Halkias?

  They gotta mount themselves?

• 22:35Speaker 02

  It's not really something I'm interested in seeing, if Ben is pulling that up, I don't-

• 22:40Stavros Halkias?

  I wonder, like, dude, giraffes have to put their neck on a branch while they're getting their back blown out.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. Probably.

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Or do you have to maybe, do you have to maybe burrow into the ground?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  I mean, you know, if I can get a little cramped having sex, then imagine a giraffe's neck.

• 22:54Stavros Halkias?

  I like, I love, this is the, it's so funny, like, how a lesbian cramps up, you're fingering him?

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's not like your back, it's not, you're like, if I get a middle and index finger cramped, I'm out.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  I'm literally, I'm literally at the gym, like, looking at the little, um, the little graphics of like, what muscle, and I'm like, oh, forearm? I'mma fucking need that. I'm doing one arm only. I'm like, I don't care about this one.

• 23:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the little walnut crusher things all the time?

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Oh, my god. I'll never forget a guy in my middle school who was on the baseball team and had serious anger issues.

• 23:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  And he was constantly, oh, my god.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  Baseball anger issues in middle school?

• 23:33Speaker 02

  I would be scared to look him up.

• 23:34Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. That's, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's look him up later, but-

• 23:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:37Stavros Halkias?

  He was doing this as a child?

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, we're really talking seventh grade, like, it's a bit freaky.

• 23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing good is happening there. For a while, I was so fat-

• 23:46Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 23:47Stavros Halkias?

  That I couldn't finger, like, my shoulder would start to hurt, cause my shit would, I had to finger from this angle, cause my stomach was so-

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  protruded so much, that it was literally like a-

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 23:59Stavros Halkias?

  It was literally like a-

• 24:00Speaker 02

  I'm upset.

• 24:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that was tough. I had to get, I had to become a finesse player, I could be a power player.

• 24:05Speaker 02

  The audience is learning there, is that you adapt it.

• 24:08Stavros Halkias?

  You have to adapt.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  You have to. When it comes to sex-

• 24:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  You gotta fucking adapt.

• 24:12Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, did I possibly cause, uh, irreparable damage to my shoulder fingering through that?

• 24:19Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 24:20Stavros Halkias?

  I think so, yes.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Your beard, your shoulder was going in and out every time.

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, chill, this is weird.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  That's crazy. You really were doing it face down, palm down.

• 24:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to think here. No, it was like a, it was like, under whatever, whatever, it was supinated this way, the regular way.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Totally, but you were-

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  That'd be a fun, like, going freestyle with it.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  That's what I was imagining.

• 24:50Stavros Halkias?

  Like a fucking DJ?

• 24:50Speaker 02

  DJ style.

• 24:51Stavros Halkias?

  But finger, yeah, yeah, no, no, none of that. So, there's a lot, but, you know, I, I was so, at the gym, I was like, how can I? I literally talked to a trainer without trying to admit why.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:03Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, is there any way to get my-

• 25:05Speaker 02

  There was a while where I was, I was doing kind of this a lot.

• 25:08Stavros Halkias?

  I was, um, sliding pizza out of the oven a lot. But just with my-

• 25:15Speaker 02

  I could never find my spatula.

• 25:19Stavros Halkias?

  And it was a very busy kitchen.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  We're talking, there'd be like-

• 25:24Speaker 02

  It was a Domino's, not a brag.

• 25:26Stavros Halkias?

  There's like, four minutes where I had to, like, get like, a thousand pizzas out of the oven for four minutes. And then after that, no pizzas the rest of the day.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Exactly, it's done, it's over.

• 25:37Stavros Halkias?

  So, is there, is there an exercise for that? And they'd be like, no, we really think you should focus on your morbid obesity.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Totally, totally.

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Before we start worrying about shoulder flexibility.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I swear, I go to a, I've been really in the zone of going to SoulCycle classes.

• 25:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  The last probably six months.

• 25:55Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Which has been amazing for cardio, obviously, but doing absolutely nothing when it comes to muscle.

• 26:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Like, literally nothing.

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  But anyways, I go to a SoulCycle class.

• 26:07Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't, doesn't do anything? No cheek firmness, nothing?

• 26:10Speaker 02

  A little cheek firmness, you know what I mean? But like, it is just kind of like, ah, the whole time.

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Anyway, um, I go in there, I swear the instructor just at some point spots me and is like, you're our inspiration for the day.

• 26:23Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  And it's actually not just SoulCycle, it's every workout class. They love to be like, you? What's your name?

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Mid-class, we're doing this for Grace, everyone. I swear, god.

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  You just wanna get a little exercise.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  No, literally.

• 26:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, oh, I got, I can squeeze this in, you have a full, full day.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  They're like, this poor girl, she's moments away from being handicapped for her obesity. Let's give it up for her.

• 26:47Stavros Halkias?

  If we don't do this today, this girl's as good as dead. She might as well, we might as well, we either nail our goals today, or we start digging Grace's grave right now. That'll be tomorrow's high-intensity workout. Is digging dirt and putting Grace's fat corpse in it, is that what you guys want?

• 27:07Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 27:07Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, oh, we don't have-

• 27:09Speaker 02

  It works for others, they're like-

• 27:14Speaker 02

  It's like, I'm doing, um, push-ups on my knees, and they're like, and if you can do it off your knees, do an extra one for Grace over there. It's fucked up. It's fucked up. But I kind of love it, cause I'm like, you know, they are giving me attention.

• 27:26Stavros Halkias?

  You're the mascot.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  I'll never, like, say no to attention.

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:30Stavros Halkias?

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• 27:38Stavros Halkias?

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• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

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• 28:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's promo code STAVY. You will receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. That is coming to you overnight. So, you can, visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavvy Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders, they're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon.

• 29:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavvy's World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh, my god, they're the best. Switch today at Visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month, or get the premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. I don't, I, I will say the gym is the one place where I would like less attention.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  That's fair.

• 29:38Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to be in, I would like to, and if it is attention, again, I would like, this isn't gonna happen, but I would like a girl to be like, nice.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's the only attention, like, the, ultimately, a girl trying to fuck you, oh, breaks through every type of, like, social, you know, everything.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Is there a better feeling in the world?

• 29:57Stavros Halkias?

  Don't care, right? Just, I don't care if, like, literally, it is a tra, I'm at a tragedy.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  And it's gotta be purely sexual, too. It's gotta be like, you just wanna be, they just wanna use you as a piece of meat. I will take that, I will accept that energy anywhere, I'll be at a loved one's funeral, and I'll be like-

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:16Stavros Halkias?

  Grandma.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  If an assassin about to kill me, then she looks at me, she goes, god, bummer, cause you're really pretty.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  I'd be like, oh.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

  That is so funny about the, I have a, I have a joke on the special where it's like, the, like, I've had fat friends who are bullied at the gym, but my experience, I, is worse. People at the gym are so supportive, it hurts my feelings. And that's basically what we're talking about here, like, a woman-

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 30:42Stavros Halkias?

  A woman legit came up to me, like, almost in, like, what I do in the special is what happened.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:48Stavros Halkias?

  I was just on an elliptical, and a woman comes up to me, like, don't know her at all.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  And it's in Baltimore, and this is before, like, I got famous, specifically in Baltimore, so it was like, and it always in Baltimore, like, did I fucking go to Greek school with this girl? She's somebody's cousin. Didn't know her at all, so I'm like, and she's just like, almost in tears, and she's just like-

• 31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Just, just keep going. It was, I, she was like, she's saying she's proud of me. It's like, you don't fucking know me.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Are you fucking serious?

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  And she thought she was being like, nice, but it's like, it's like, I, the fact that I was doing low impact cardio, moved her to tears.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Completely. You're on like 1.2 on the treadmill.

• 31:25Stavros Halkias?

  2.5. Classic 2.5, just to get a nice base going, you know what I mean?

• 31:30Speaker 02

  Oh my god, that's so, what is wrong with her brain? I'm, like, I'm scared for her.

• 31:35Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know. It is funny how people see fat people as like, it's like, the only value is if like a fat person decides to stop being fat.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

• 31:44Stavros Halkias?

  Congratulations, you have now started your application to be a human being.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  No, literally.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, you're not there yet.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  We're getting ready for your welcome party.

• 31:54Stavros Halkias?

  We're planning it. Don't make us have to cancel, cuz we're all rooting for you. We're all rooting to start, to start looking at you as an equal.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  It's crazy, it really is. You know, I actually was almost forced to spend a hundred twenty dollars at Old Navy the other day.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Because I was in a bad mood and I was like, I'm gonna go into shopping.

• 32:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  I went into four fucking stupid ass stores. Nothing had anything my size. I thought Old Navy's gonna-

• 32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Covered.

• 32:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, and-

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Even in, even in your darkest hour.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  Fucking awesome. And someone even commented on my Instagram the other day, where are your pants from? I said, Old Navy bitch, go get them. I'm thrilled. I'm, I'm trying to be in an Old Navy.

• 32:35Stavros Halkias?

  Believe me, oh yeah, you can get there for sure. I was definitely, as a, as a fat guy that likes fun shirts, right? Who was broke most of his life, the second Old Navy dropped their like, summer line?

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Oh really?

• 32:48Stavros Halkias?

  I was in there and I wore everything within the first seven days.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz it was like, before everybody realizes this is Old Navy, I'm gonna-

• 32:57Speaker 02

  This is your type.

• 32:57Stavros Halkias?

  People are like, these are, that's a sick shirt. Four months from now, every fat, you know, every fat guy who's like, wife shops for them-

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:05Stavros Halkias?

  Is wearing my shirt at a barbecue.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:07Stavros Halkias?

  But, that first window, being an early Old Navy adopter?

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Yes. And also in Brooklyn and Manhattan, you're safe, don't you think?

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Doing shows-

• 33:17Speaker 02

  The suburbs where you gotta be careful.

• 33:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, doing spots in Manhattan, it was like, I was, people like, hmm, what's that?

• 33:24Speaker 02

  No, yeah. I was in Old Navy pants at a vintage store in Williamsburg and the owner said, where are your pants from? I'm so serious. The owner. And there were two other girls in there, and I was like, you guys wanna guess where they're from? And then I said, Old Navy, and the girls didn't react, and I was like, what a fucking bummer. But they were British, they'd never heard of Old Navy.

• 33:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  So-

• 33:46Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck that.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  But I was really ready to bring the house down like that.

• 33:48Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, did anybody, did the, the owner-

• 33:49Speaker 02

  The owner was like, that's fucking crazy.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. She was like, get out.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  He, it was a gay guy, I believe.

• 33:55Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay. He was like, get out.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's two strikes. He's like, alright.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  Well, I was already buying something, so he couldn't kick me out at that point.

• 34:01Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. He was like, alright, take your tarp and leave.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Take, yeah, the funniest is gay guy. I mean, truly, the most you'll get decimated for bodies.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  A hundred percent. I never feel fatter than when I'm around gay men. Because they will call, they, I'll be in a room with a gay, with gay men, and I swear, they will call themselves fat-

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  Five hundred times-

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Seeing right through me.

• 34:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Is there a ghost in here?

• 34:32Speaker 02

  It's so weird.

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  Is there a friendly presence?

• 34:34Speaker 02

  So, and I'm really talking about the skinniest men I've ever seen in my life.

• 34:37Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  It's so weird, but you know, gay men, they have a disease. So we have to, you know, we just have to be nice.

• 34:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess it is flipped too, of like, I guess like, when you remove the, any potential desire? Cuz obviously there's some gay guys who go, go wild for a fat guy, but the ones who don't, really, really, I'm like, oh, this is what women talk about.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Completely.

• 35:03Stavros Halkias?

  When they say, the male gaze. And it's like, and it's like, like I remember working out at, I was just, I was in LA and I just happened to get a hotel in like, West Hollywood? And I was like, oh, let me go to a gym. And it was truly like, I mean, being seen through is not enough, like, when I asked, like, hey, felt like, I noticed you guys have been on one machine for fucking, you know, forty minutes.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and like, and I was kind of approaching it from, I'm just in straight workout mode.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 35:33Stavros Halkias?

  Which is a little like, it, it has its roots in like, uh, just, uh, violence, you know what I mean? It has its roots in like, in like, football, like, in the locker room. And it's like, if someone's a dick to you and you're programmed to just kinda be mean-

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  And so, I'm going in this direction, being like, alright man, just chill, don't accidentally seem homophobic.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz these guys are being rude to you. Fallas. Hey Fallas.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Fallas, Fallas, over here.

• 36:08Stavros Halkias?

  How long you guys on that fucking leg press machine? And I was like, just fucking be chill. And at some, at some point, I was like, look, you're a guest in this gay gym, right?

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fair.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm, I'm prepping myself to not be-

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Right. You're not supposed to be there as a like, cultural rule.

• 36:24Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally, totally. And the idea that I would have been able to, like, affect these men emotionally in any way is hilarious.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz they looked at me like, it was like, like, like if a, like if a baby asked to like, put on a shoulder pad, his helmet, and like, be in an NFL game. They were like, it was so dismissive, it was like, I was like, oh my god, these guys fucking owned me so hard. They, in one look, they made it clear-

• 36:51Speaker 02

  That is like, one of the meanest things I can ever imagine.

• 36:54Stavros Halkias?

  They made it clear, they don't care about me at all. Don't care if I live or die.

• 36:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  Think I'm disgusting, right? They are, they are, it's, it's, they're making it clear that they feel they're being kind by not verbally speaking to me. Because if they did, it would be so devastating to my very existence, I would have to go home and cry.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 37:16Stavros Halkias?

  And it was like, I was like, man, these guys fucking got my ass. I was like, I was like, and they didn't say anything, I was like, I was like, oh, so you guys are still on? And they're like, mm-hmm. Like, literally like, the meanest mimes in the world. And they're jacked, by the way. And by the way, these guys are fucking ripped, and-

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's not like I could beat the fuck, like, you realize like, th- this is how, like, when people en- encounter different people and they're like, oh, I'm just gonna be violent cuz they made me feel bad. I couldn't even, not that I ever would, you know?

• 37:45Speaker 02

  Totally. You're like, I'm without a weapon, I'm fucked.

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, I was like, should I get a gun? The first time I thought about having a firearm, or maybe a small blade.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  You saw a jacked gay guy and he was mean to you?

• 37:58Stavros Halkias?

  Who was so mean and so, effortlessly mean too. Like, so, he didn't break a switch. It was like, in the rhythm of his conversation, he was talking, they were talking to each other, but they would not address me verbally, and I was like, sounds good, boys, I'm gonna go just-

• 38:12Speaker 02

  I wanna see the security footage.

• 38:14Stavros Halkias?

  I know, me too. The fucking blink in West Hollywood.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  It's crazy what, like, you know, like, it's, there are people in this world where it's, and we'll put gay guys aside for a sec.

• 38:24Stavros Halkias?

  Let's put them aside.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  We'll give them a little break for the rest of the app. But just people in general where it's like, I really can't imagine, like, of course I've had moments in my life where I've like, been mean, but I've probably always felt bad about it after.

• 38:36Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  And there are people where it's like, it's just fucking in them. It comes right out.

• 38:42Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  It's crazy. I can't imagine. But probably it's like, from growing up fat, it's like, you, you can't even really be that mean.

• 38:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's not that. It's not fat. Cuz fat people, I would say, who grew up fat, like, when they try and be mean, it just doesn't work.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz they just, at the end of their, cuz the fat people that lose weight and wanna be mean-

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  They have such a corrupt spirit.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you could see it in their eyes.

• 39:04Stavros Halkias?

  You could see it, and you could see they don't believe that they deserve to be mean.

• 39:07Speaker 02

  They're weak.

• 39:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right. They think, they're trying on being mean, cuz they're like, what if I was the mean one?

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if I was never fat at all?

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  What if I was their fat and I got to bully me? Cuz I'm a piece of shit, I'm a fat little slug who deserves it, right? That's those fat people. I think, I think honestly, it is kind of, who's mean is really just, it's an Occam's razor situation where it's like, people that have had everything, and the second you try and like, ask for something, they're like, no.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 39:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like, the mean, like, in fact, some of the meanest shit is just like, the most powerful people in the world deciding like, oh no, I mean, I'm not gonna treat you like a human being.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Right. Cuz someone told me I have more power than everyone else.

• 39:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. It's either, or it's like, people who are abused, I guess. Abused, not fat. You know what I mean?

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right.

• 39:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz that's more like a fuck, when you, when you like, find a like, a, like a stray animal that's been like, on the street, it's like, huh, like, shark. When you try and show affection, it tries to bite you.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:01Stavros Halkias?

  If you come from like, an abusive background, that can be how you relate sometimes.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  I was a psychology major, I'm well familiar with the science, I was picking up, I actually worked on that experiment.

• 40:10Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't realize we had a scientist on the couch, a psychology major. Where, what, what was the school again?

• 40:16Speaker 02

  Oh, Skidmore College. It's an Ivy League.

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it?

• 40:19Speaker 02

  No, it's a liberal arts school.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  It was sick though, I fucking loved every minute. Like, I have an amazing life.

• 40:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  It may have been the best four years of my life. I kinda feel that way a little. I mean, I just genuinely was drunk at all times, and like, zero consequence.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny, cuz you were, you were closeted for most of it, right?

• 40:41Speaker 02

  No, I was, and I was closeted in high school. In college, I came out my sophomore year.

• 40:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay, I see, I see, I see.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  And it was talk of the town.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, people like, what?

• 40:53Speaker 02

  What, the gayest looking girl I've ever seen is gay?

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  You were fucking hooked up with guys like a backwards baseball cap on and shit.

• 41:02Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, whoa, this is a straight woman.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Seriously, yes.

• 41:07Stavros Halkias?

  Sucking dick in like, a bowler, dressed like fucking Charlie Sheen.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  I pretty much was, I pretty much was. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. I, my style when I was straight was the worst style I've ever seen. It was gayer than now. Now I'd actually argue I was pretty straight. I'd actually argue that.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Um, but, no, I came out sophomore year, but freshman year I did have sex with four guys.

• 41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Some of them, more than once, if you can believe that.

• 41:35Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that's fun.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  And, um, it was pretty epic. But yeah, when I came out, I was like, whoa, my life is so much easier.

• 41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that makes sense. Cuz I thought, I thought you liked-

• 41:44Speaker 02

  With women is so much easier. Like, seeing with men, I seriously felt like I had like, a gun to their head.

• 41:52Stavros Halkias?

  You had the gun to their head?

• 41:58Speaker 02

  I've never said that before.

• 41:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  I remember.

• 42:01Stavros Halkias?

  But I know what you mean. I could see you.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  I just was like, do they really wanna be here right now?

• 42:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's, and that was you kind of being like.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Like trying to get my brain to admit I was gay, but it wasn't working.

• 42:12Stavros Halkias?

  You're the one that doesn't wanna be there. You had the gun to your, you're like, alright.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Show me your penis.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  I wanna see it.

• 42:20Stavros Halkias?

  Show me your penis, I want to see it.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  I, um, I hooked up with this one guy on the soccer team freshman year and then the next day I went to my shift at the dining hall. Part of my financial aid was I had to work at the, at the dining hall.

• 42:31Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  Which is a completely amazing, anyone on financial aid freshman year at Skidmore has to work in the dining hall. It's an awesome way to know.

• 42:37Stavros Halkias?

  The most front facing.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  Whose family does not make enough money.

• 42:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's like you can't, you can do, listen, there's no, no, you know, there's nothing against, uh, cleanup or like support staff shit.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 42:47Stavros Halkias?

  But they couldn't have put you in like the night shift.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  No, a hundred percent.

• 42:50Stavros Halkias?

  They literally pick the place.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  The place where everyone will be.

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Then like, just so everybody knows who's poor and who's not.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 42:57Stavros Halkias?

  Real Brendan Fraser in, uh, in Glory Days vibe. You ever see that?

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Not familiar, no.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  I saw it once, uh, on.

• 43:05Speaker 02

  I love Brendan Fraser. Is he the guy who played?

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  The Whale.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Uh, Tarzan or George of the Jungle?

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  George of the Jungle, George of the Jungle.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  He was so sexy in that.

• 43:14Stavros Halkias?

  He was a real piece of ass. It's kinda crazy. Absolutely. Uh, he, he spanned a lot of, you know, respect to Brendan.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:22Stavros Halkias?

  For, for doing it at every size.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  Total.

• 43:25Stavros Halkias?

  You know, even though the whale, we carried, we, we did cover this with Mary Beth Barone.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:30Stavros Halkias?

  How funny the whale was.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Oh, that movie. I know what you're talking about. I didn't see it.

• 43:35Stavros Halkias?

  You should, it's so funny.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  I don't know that one.

• 43:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, Grace, like, yeah, like for, for the community.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  He wore a fat suit, correct?

• 43:40Stavros Halkias?

  He did, but it's.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  I'm against that.

• 43:42Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, listen, listen. I'm telling you, watch it. It's the funniest movie of all time.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:47Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I mean, of course, fat movies are funny.

• 43:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's, but, yeah, it's, yeah, that, yeah, I'm, I'm saying that cause I'm like, it's kinda just like Big Mama's House.

• 43:56Stavros Halkias?

  If you like Madea, you're gonna love The Whale.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  Guy who only wants fat suits, has no other, no other, no other criteria for a good movie. Just is someone in a fat suit.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  The, the design is just incredible. It's just amazing to look at. The cameras must have been something.

• 44:13Stavros Halkias?

  Um, anyway, you should, cause it's like the funniest. It's like if those girls who are like, you're our mascot, wrote a movie about what it's like to be fat. It's so fucking funny. It's awesome.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I just, the way that I feel about that kind of stuff is like, if these actors love to go on a press tour and be like, you know, I had to lose weight for this movie, or like, I had to work with a personal trainer every day to get jacked.

• 44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  I want the same energy for playing a fat role.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  I a hundred percent.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Like Charles Melton got pretty close. You know that actor?

• 44:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  When he did May December, I think he gained like, I don't know, 20, 30 pounds or something. And he was like, I was fucking awesome. And I'm like, tell the world.

• 44:50Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Mac, uh, he did that too. Uh, McElhenney, Rob Mack, when he went, became Fat Mack. He was talking about how sick it was to just eat like shit.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  And then you get, you have the production pay for your personal trainer after.

• 45:04Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. And by the way, you wanna talk about, we're a package deal when it comes to judging, uh, oyster eating contests? I think we'd be a pretty dynamite coaching staff to get hot actors fat. I think we would be so good at that.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  It's not quite personal trainer, but it's very similar.

• 45:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's really similar.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  I think you're so right.

• 45:23Stavros Halkias?

  I would be so good at that.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Literally just hang on the couch with us.

• 45:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's like just, here's the thing, for four days, just observe. Just, just, just, you know?

• 45:32Speaker 02

  That part's free.

• 45:33Stavros Halkias?

  That part is free.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  But then of course, once you're, you know, part of the Uber Eats, the Grubhub, then you are paying.

• 45:39Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely right. Absolutely right. That's going on the studio's dime as soon as, as soon as you get a little crazy bread. As soon as you, as soon as you order four appetizers.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, I did.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  I'm not even talking.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'm really, like, this is how much my food addiction is. It's like, even when I, cause I'm on GLP-1, like I've been on a Zepbound for a while.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Me too, brother.

• 46:00Stavros Halkias?

  Nice dude.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:01Stavros Halkias?

  Even on it, I will still order.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:04Stavros Halkias?

  Like, like when I'm really feeling fucking crazy.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:08Stavros Halkias?

  I will order like, you know, five entrees and just take one bite of each and be full. But back in the day, I'm eating the whole thing.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Yes. And that's fucking freedom, by the way.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  I still need it, but I still, there's a psychological thing where I need to put that order in.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:24Stavros Halkias?

  Even when I don't eat it.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  But that's fine. That's just affecting your bank account. You know what I mean?

• 46:28Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. That's coming out of Elders's Pay. I dock Elders's Pay. Every time he pisses me off so much, I have to eat too much.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's pissing me off right now too.

• 46:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we'll get you a gift card. Yeah, yeah.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  No, that's so fair. I will say, it's like, you know, I, I used to have such a different, um, opinion on GLP-1 stuff and I'm on the Wegovy pill. Shut up.

• 46:47Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  And I seriously, I'm like, it's so freeing. I just think that it's switched my brain into how other people have always fucking been their whole lives. But for some reason, because I'm fat, people wanna be a fucking bitch about it.

• 47:00Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  It's like, no, go fuck yourself. I wanna be normal. I don't actually care if I lose weight or not. I just don't want to have this. Also, I'm sober again, so it's like, the, the last time I did, I know.

• 47:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's a fun sentence. Sober again is, cause by, by the way, me too.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, just a month ago, I would've been like, so I relapsed.

• 47:21Stavros Halkias?

  It is fun to be an addict to the point where your relapses are kinda kooky and not like, uh-oh, we better fucking take his bank account. We better not let him log into his own Chase account. You know what I mean? Like, cause I have some friends that are that kinda relapse guys.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:35Stavros Halkias?

  For me, it's more like, alright, well, look, man, you can only take 200 milligrams a day for so long, right? Like, that's the relapse I'm at, which is kind of a, it, let's be honest, it is a pretty fat relapse. To have so much weed, you like eat through your GLP-1 and are in a, in a fat, you're fat and jolly half the time. Cause like, like we did a couple of episodes, like a couple, like earlier this week where I was still so high from the night before.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Really?

• 48:00Stavros Halkias?

  And I don't remember. I don't, it's kinda sick. I love, I actually love existing in that zone. And it, that's, that's when I feel the most addicted to shit where I'm like, oh, I like being fucked up. There's a couple, there's a couple of Epsom tires, well, folks. Eagle eyed viewers might be able to see, there's a couple of days where I'm holding on horrible, cause also in Pennsylvania where we shoot, they don't have regulated edibles. They have like fake bullshit.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Oh god.

• 48:26Stavros Halkias?

  So I ate a lot of those.

• 48:28Speaker 02

  That was me left and right in high school and those could go cuckoo bananas.

• 48:33Stavros Halkias?

  What would happen was I, they just didn't work that night and I would wake up. There was one day where, I didn't do it on purpose. I wasn't going to work fucked up. But I woke up one time and I took like 80 milligrams and it didn't do anything the night before. I was like, oh, these are a bust. And then I woke up and I'm like, I don't know where the fuck I am. Cause I'm in a weird Airbnb in West Chester, Pennsylvania. I'm like.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Completely.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, fuck, I'm scared. And then, and then I'm getting a call. It's like, hey, are you on your way to set? But anyway, it's fine.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm so jealous. I wish I could, I mean, I'm actually not, but, but I wish I could do weed. I just, I smoked so much in high school.

• 49:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Was literally constantly high.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  And then I had like one traumatic experience and then I was like, I can't do it anymore. I know.

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Like very, too bad to talk about or?

• 49:24Speaker 02

  No, basically, it's probably fine. I had a friend who was like a serious drug addict and she, like, doing heroin at school.

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  A little different than weed.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  And she like was sober the whole time. I, I had been friends with her until this one time I was like so fucking high at my house and she just like showed up and told me that she relapsed. And I think it just like fucked me up.

• 49:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you don't wanna get that.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  She has now passed away too. So it is like, you know, it was just sad.

• 49:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So every time you smoke weed, it's kinda like you're killing her again.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  Yes. That's exactly what it is. And it's not fair. She should only have to die once.

• 50:03Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's fucking horrible. Absolutely.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  No, it really sucked. But now it's like a bummer. It's like, I'm seriously like 2.5 milligram is my max.

• 50:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 50:14Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, I'm sorry, you, I cut you off to talk about my fun addiction, where you're saying you're sober. Now as a sober person, again, which let's get into, you know, why that, why you decided to do that.

• 50:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did like pretty much a year without drugs and, um, and then I just kinda went buck wild for a year.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  And now I'm back to it and I just feel so much better.

• 50:36Stavros Halkias?

  What was going on in your life for that buck wild year?

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Um, just like crazy, like.

• 50:40Stavros Halkias?

  Were you single? Were you like?

• 50:42Speaker 02

  No, I was in a relationship.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, interesting.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  And now I'm single.

• 50:45Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 50:46Speaker 02

  And I know.

• 50:46Stavros Halkias?

  Single, relapse, see, like in a relationship, you really did.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  My, my sobriety and the breakup are, are pretty much.

• 50:56Stavros Halkias?

  I see.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Coincided.

• 50:57Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I see, I see.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Like got sober and then was like, no, no can do.

• 51:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, see, for me, it was always the opposite where it's like, in a relationship, I would've just become such a, I'd be like, oh, nice. Things are awesome. I guess I could just fucking do drugs and get fat as shit again. Until I pushed the women who loved me. Until they begged me to just get one of my vices under control.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 51:20Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm like, no.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. Exactly, exactly.

• 51:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, what?

• 51:24Speaker 02

  I know. Well, it's just so easy to be a piece, piece of shit in a relationship.

• 51:28Stavros Halkias?

  Unfortunately.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  We don't talk about that enough.

• 51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Unfortunately, it is.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:31Stavros Halkias?

  And I think some people are looking for that. Cause piece of shit also is like.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Comfort.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Comfort, exactly. It's the comfort weight, right? Everybody talks about that where it's like,

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 51:40Stavros Halkias?

  You don't feel like you have to put up with, you know, the how fucked up the world is. So you gain that that nice Charles Melton twenty.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 51:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, um, uh, so interesting.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Trademark that.

• 51:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Charles Melton twenty. You know what they know him for? Gaining twenty pounds on the movie he did a couple of years ago.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  Not all the shit he's up to now. Um, so I see. That was a moment of clarity for you.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 52:03Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  And, um, but what I was saying about it is that the last time I I did my sobriety stint, I like my brain just immediately turned to food as like where I'm getting my dopamine from.

• 52:15Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Um, in a way that just like isn't productive, you know?

• 52:18Stavros Halkias?

  Hundred percent, yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 02

  So, yeah, I mean, I wish I could do drugs literally all the time. I wish I was fucked up right now, but I feel so much happier.

• 52:30Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I mean, I do legitimately love the edibles hangover, which is the next, when you take, again, an insane amount.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're so insanely fucked up that night. And the next day, you're just kinda high all day.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Oh, that's interesting. Have you thought about just taking a lower dose edible?

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  I have.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, why would I suggest that? I'm fucking stupid. I am seriously dumb.

• 52:51Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna be like, I literally was getting so fucking high that I was, I was just like, okay. And I had it timed out where it was like, all right, at hour three, you will think all your friends hate you. You will think that the special is gonna bomb. And I would literally prepare myself. It's like, this is just part of being this on drugs.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:10Stavros Halkias?

  To the point where I actually think I beat weed anxiety, because I, it, I would have like, your life is over level panic attack.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  No, totally.

• 53:20Stavros Halkias?

  And just fucking power through them to now. I don't, they, now I'm just like, I know what you're doing.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's almost like, it's like, have you ever seen like an Exorcism movie? It's like, you have no power over me, Satan. I know you are a false construct. That was, that was me. No, I'm not even kidding. Me high as fuck watching a Sylvester Stallone movie being like, no, my friends aren't gonna think I'm a hack.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 53:40Stavros Halkias?

  Nice try, weed. And then you just white knuckle through that. Then you, you get so fucking high, your brain turns off.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  And you have to be in bed by then. Cause if you're not, if you're not, you will just wake up in a recliner. Ah, you know what I mean? And that was bad.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:56Stavros Halkias?

  But also, but if you're in bed with your, for me, with your CPAP on, nice and snug.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  Oh, nice. That's gorgeous.

• 54:01Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and I would sleep like eleven hours.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I love to sleep eleven hours.

• 54:06Stavros Halkias?

  And then I wake up fucking the perfect hot amount of high.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 54:11Stavros Halkias?

  For ten hours.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  It's so funny that one of the most famous drugs in the world, like one of the key things about it is paranoia.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  It's so counterintuitive.

• 54:20Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  It's so bizarre.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I think we've just, it's just, you know, way too fucking strong.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:27Stavros Halkias?

  But, you know, whatever.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not going back. I think I will get completely sober soon.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 54:32Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but I, I kinda mentioned to, I was being cagey.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  To a doctor where I was like, um, I'm trying something.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Cagey to doctors.

• 54:41Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying something different and it's really ruining my sleep. And I didn't say what I'm trying is to stop taking one hundred milligram minimum every night. I said, I did a lifestyle change that's affecting my sleep. Do you think I should stop it? Because it's important, cause I fucked my back up.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:00Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, right now, your sleep is very important. I wouldn't do anything. And I was like, great, my doctor said I have to keep smoking weed.

• 55:06Speaker 02

  No, totally, totally. Don't change a thing. Whatever you're doing, you look fucking good. Keep it up.

• 55:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but, but I also am a downers guy drug wise. Are you more of an uppers person?

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Yes, I am.

• 55:19Stavros Halkias?

  If you don't do weed, I'm talking.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, definitely. Like cocaine is like my, oh, my girl, girl.

• 55:25Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, yeah, never.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  I seriously am like, that is the best drug ever created.

• 55:30Stavros Halkias?

  I think we talked, now I'm having flash.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I talked about it last time and I remember my friend after being like, Grace, you have a corporate job. Like, maybe we don't talk about that. And I was like, whatever.

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's not real. She's fucked.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  No, exactly.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  Every, everyone has a corporate job. Four fucking companies own everything.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 55:44Stavros Halkias?

  Except Stobby Baby Enterprises, an independent.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 55:47Stavros Halkias?

  But we do drug test elders strictly.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  I think that's really smart. He's giving me the heebie-jeebies.

• 55:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm so sorry.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  I don't like the new dad energy.

• 55:54Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so sorry.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  The smile on his face. Ew.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  But there was a point in, in college when I like picked weed back up where I was smoking, um, out of my bong and then drinking NyQuil.

• 56:07Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 56:08Speaker 02

  And that was so, I was like literally hallucinating.

• 56:12Stavros Halkias?

  So fucking funny. As a thirty seven year old man, I am in the market for a new bong. Like, I've, I've been, I've been on like, what are the smoothest ways to smoke weed? And honestly, I think I might go real throwback with it. I, I haven't even told you this, Eldis. I'm considering purchasing a, a volcano vaporizer. The old school, you must have been.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm well familiar.

• 56:35Stavros Halkias?

  In fact, going back to the beginning of our conversation, that was the zenith. That was as technologically forward as we got.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, yeah, that's crazy.

• 56:44Stavros Halkias?

  Heat weed so much.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  That it lets off THC particles into a big plastic bag.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 56:51Stavros Halkias?

  Like, we didn't, that was the most, and now all these fucking kids, they're sending fucking iMessage.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I know.

• 56:57Stavros Halkias?

  You know, uh.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Invisible ink.

• 57:00Stavros Halkias?

  And they're smoking out of fricking vapes? Not me. What I was doing was pulling up a big ass bag of weed smoke and sucking it down at my weirdest friend's house. And truly the most fucked up guy, cause nobody normal had the money. If you were normal enough to have the money, if you were normal and had that amount of money, you were so rich, you just didn't like drugs.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Well, also, it's like, for me, it was like, you're either, you know, hotboxing a car in high school.

• 57:29Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  If you have the pleasure of going to someone's house, it's like, their parents, there's something up.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Something fucked up, exactly.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Because you're, they are obviously okay with the insane, like, smell of weed.

• 57:41Stavros Halkias?

  Seventeen year old has access to a volcano vaporizer.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Those parents.

• 57:45Stavros Halkias?

  In two thousand six.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  They made my high school experience really fun, but something was wrong.

• 57:50Stavros Halkias?

  Something so wrong.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:51Stavros Halkias?

  It was either that or like later on, when you would, when you graduated, it was like in your twenties, nobody had any money. So it's like, the person who, the only thing they've ever budgeted and planned for.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 58:02Stavros Halkias?

  Is putting aside enough money for a two hundred fifty dollar vault vaporizer.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  And that was a lot, that was, you know, eight weeks of work at the pizza shop that they do one, one shift a week.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  They were like, they'd get a job to buy it.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  Buy a vaporizer. They would, yeah, and they would just stop nine days in. You know what I mean? They would, they were eight shifts at a fucking Bennigan's.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  And then just no show, no call, one day and never go back.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. By the way, genius. Completely fucking smart. That is entrepreneurial.

• 58:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  Oh, my god, I forgot about those, but you're thinking of it.

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  So after, in my research, apparently the cleanest way.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  It is.

• 58:41Stavros Halkias?

  Is heated weed, not these oils, where you, who the fuck knows what they're putting in there.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  For the volcano, you put in flour?

• 58:50Stavros Halkias?

  Flour and it heats it up so high that the.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a Pax. Remember those?

• 58:55Stavros Halkias?

  The Pax, exactly.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that had a heyday. Where are they now?

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  They got their lunch eaten by oils and vapes and that sort of thing, which is unclean, man. That's the kinda hippie I am.

• 59:06Speaker 02

  No, we're not.

• 59:06Stavros Halkias?

  We gotta go back to vaporizing weed, brother.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  Unclean shit.

• 59:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, do I just take pills that aren't labeled all the time? I stopped, but I did. I mean, I, I used, like in college, I would just, I was like, I thought I was getting fucked up and they're like, hey, man, you're, I think you're taking Jeff's antipsychotic.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Oh, my god, oh my god. That's crazy.

• 59:29Stavros Halkias?

  I would like pick up pills and be like, gulp, gulp, gulp. And later on, did I realize you could Google the things that are written on the pills?

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, but that would have never occurred.

• 59:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, it was like, fuck it, let's see. Um, anyway, uh, but yes, I have, through my research, I have been looking into the volcano. And we're kind of at an inflection point where if I buy that, I'm pretty much saying I will stay addicted to weed for the time being. And if I don't buy it, maybe I'll get so, but also here's the thing, I like wasting money.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 59:58Stavros Halkias?

  I grew up poor and I'm rich now. So I buy shit I don't use all the, you know what? Fuck it, Grace. You talked me into it, Grace. I'm buying two volcanoes right now.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  I want what's best for you. Seriously, that's why I'm here. That's why the guys brought me in.

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, thank you, guys.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  How much is it, though? How much are we talking?

• 1:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  I think they're like, Eldis, you wanna do a little fucking auxiliary producing?

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  Anything under a grand, like, come on, you're fine.

• 1:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's under a grand. I think it's like, I think the deluxe ones maybe four hundred dollars. What do you got? Let's see, a race to Google.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  Four seventy nine and seven hundred retail.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  Seven hundred. Oh, Jesus Christ. That is actually really.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  Depends.

• 1:00:34Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're doing, yeah, I know what you're doing. You're doing the AI. Hold on, hold on.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  The whole town.

• 1:00:38Stavros Halkias?

  Grace, I'm sorry. He's doing the AI overview, aren't you?

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Ben, please tell me the price you're looking at right now.

• 1:00:43Stavros Halkias?

  Answer the question.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  Seven hundred.

• 1:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  So he, I'm on the official website, so he's.

• 1:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, thank you for doing real research. You did the AI overview, didn't you?

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  Yes, the retail cost, the range of retail.

• 1:00:54Stavros Halkias?

  How many fucking times?

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  I didn't do the AI overview. The computer did the AI overview.

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  The first fucking thing he pulled up was on the high end.

• 1:01:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just saying, bro, get off the AI. Thank you for doing real.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  Did you turn it off? Can you turn it off?

• 1:01:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Or you just scroll, scroll really quick.

• 1:01:09Stavros Halkias?

  I scroll.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's, that's my daily, that's my daily, uh, uh, form of resistance against artificial robots. Every day I'm like, fuck you.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  You're a warrior.

• 1:01:18Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck you, idiot. I'm, I'm gonna see the movie, you, I'm gonna find out which movie Denise Richards showed her tits in without you.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Here's the thing with it is like, my friends that use it, I just am like, but what is the questions you're asking? And the questions they're asking are researchable.

• 1:01:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  So I just don't understand.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Like, of course, the AI interview just, or wait, AI, what's it called? Uh, overview.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  Overview.

• 1:01:43Speaker 02

  Just pops up, whatever. But when you're typing into ChatGPT, I'm just like, you just can put it into Google and find it.

• 1:01:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking crazy.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  It's really weird. People are doing math on there.

• 1:01:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  They forgot about the calculator. That's not right. We need to bring back.

• 1:01:57Stavros Halkias?

  Fucked up. It, it, I, I really do think we're so, I, I mean, luckily, these are stupid and don't work.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:04Stavros Halkias?

  And they will be too expensive. Either what's gonna happen is, there's gonna be a big, I think we're gonna just have like a big AI collapse, cause this shit is so fucking fake.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:02:13Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I really hope it doesn't completely fuck the economy up. That's the thing. Even rooting against AI sucks, cause every fucking tech dickhead has kind of, our economy is so fake that these companies are worth so much money for no reason. And everybody's investing and they're like, oh, great, up, up and up and up.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:30Stavros Halkias?

  And so when these things are proven to kinda be bullshit. I hope it's in a way that doesn't completely tank the economy and there's fucking, you know, blood in the streets, but we'll see.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  But if there is, you're gonna have your volcano and you're gonna have your doors locked.

• 1:02:46Stavros Halkias?

  I will have a turret at the top here. I'm like, get the fuck out of my fucking podcast studio. Like a gun, like where they have like the gun turrets.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:02:55Stavros Halkias?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  That would be so fun.

• 1:02:57Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm fucking shooting robots. They're trying to get me.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:03:01Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is there. I kill Eldis because he's trying. Eldis, they've.

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  You're like, I finally gotta kill Eldis.

• 1:03:06Stavros Halkias?

  They use Eldis to try and sneak in. It's like, hey dude, can you buzz me up?

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  There's a little robot on his shoulder, like, just go ask him.

• 1:03:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:15Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, yeah, no problem, Eldis. Hey, uh, look up. And I've got a rope, like those fucking Greek people. It's a fucking grenade.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:03:22Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, pull this for me for a second, Eldis. It's not a live grenade.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  I'm gonna kill you on Escape from My Captors 2.

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're not.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:29Stavros Halkias?

  You really think I don't. First of all, I've implanted a switch in your fucking cortex. Have you ever seen Suicide Squad, Eldis?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:03:37Stavros Halkias?

  When you took the job, I put a, I put a bomb in the back of your brain that the second that you fucking cross me, I press the button and your fucking head explodes like Will Smith in that first fucking movie, dude. So take that.

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  I'm gonna override it with the power of AI.

• 1:03:52Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's gonna fucking do the wrong thing and explode your fucking head.

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:03:56Stavros Halkias?

  Actually, that is how you're gonna go. Trying to use AI to override my beautiful, real bomb that I personally put in your head. And then dying as a result.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  We'll see.

• 1:04:06Stavros Halkias?

  I guess we will. In six months or so, I guess we'll see. Okay, that's, I think it's time now to take some calls, Grace, to really help the people.

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  Thank god.

• 1:04:17Stavros Halkias?

  Let's hit the fucking visible hotline at this, oh, we didn't even do the

• 1:04:24Stavros Halkias?

  Vault edition of the podcast. We're calling this the Fatherhood Vault, the Sula Vault, something, you know, where we'll, we'll have like an animation.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Okay, cute.

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  The Vault.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Love that.

• 1:04:36Stavros Halkias?

  You're in the Vault. We don't know when this comes out, October, November.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  Okay, perfect.

• 1:04:39Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have it. Do you have anything to promote? No.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  I will have something to promote, but I hope that it's out by then. My podcast. Should I mention it now?

• 1:04:45Stavros Halkias?

  Just tell us and we'll cut it into the episode because this will go in the future.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  I have a podcast out now-ish.

• 1:04:52Stavros Halkias?

  Probably now, probably now.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Called Investing 101. Please go listen to it.

• 1:04:57Stavros Halkias?

  And you strike me as someone who knows a lot about investing.

• 1:05:00Speaker 02

  ETFs.

• 1:05:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  IPOs.

• 1:05:03Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Stuff like that.

• 1:05:05Stavros Halkias?

  And this is, they made you do this at the Daily Show?

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  No, this is me. This is all me, completely independent.

• 1:05:11Stavros Halkias?

  Are you trying to learn about investing? What's the thesis here?

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Um, no, I'm teaching.

• 1:05:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're teaching, okay, great. Well, I can't wait to check in.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, you'll be on it, so can't wait.

• 1:05:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I can't wait to gain some

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible financial literacy.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Stavros Halkias?

  From your, from your podcast, Investing 101, which is out now, probably. Ben, hit us with a damn call, my friend. Sometimes the best plan is having no plan at all. Get some friends together and get some food. See where the day goes. Twisted Tea is made for that kind of hang. I'm gonna have a lot of those this fall. I finally got some time off after the tour. And you know what was number one on my list? Getting the gang together so we can absolutely destroy Twisted Tea's responsibly while there's a nice autumn chill in the air. Oh mama, do I love Twisted Tea. A refreshing hard iced tea with 5% alcohol per volume and real brewed tea.

• 1:06:07Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's made with real brewed tea, it tastes like actual iced tea, all right? None of this chemical stuff. It's like, just like a mama used to make, iced tea, but at this time it has a 5% volume. The party pack comes with original half and half peach and raspberry. There's no carbonation and it goes down smooth as hell. Whether it's a backyard hang, watching football with friends, a tailgate, or just spending the day outside, Twisted Tea is an easy fit for keeping the good times going. Twisted Tea, keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Must be 21 plus. Please drink responsibly.

• 1:06:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall? That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics. And you're not gonna believe this, superfoods. It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials

• 1:07:26Stavros Halkias?

  and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi gets ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2

• 1:08:06Stavros Halkias?

  with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi.

• 1:08:16Speaker 05

  Hello, Stavi. Hello, Eldis. Hello, esteemed guests. Um, I'm calling with a bit of a weird one today. I like to get dinner with my parents sometimes. We live in the same small Midwest city. Um, it's a, I say small city, but it has a decent amount of sports bars and that's pretty relevant to the conversation.

• 1:08:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sports bars, nice.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  Because my parents are incredibly picky eaters and they will only eat at sports bars and even then only like

• 1:08:41Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, hold on. They are picky eaters who only eat at sports bars. If it, if it doesn't have a blooming onion knockoff, I ain't going. That's so fucking funny. To be, by the way, every parent talks about how their kid doesn't want to talk to them anymore.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:08:59Stavros Halkias?

  And this woman is trying so hard to get dinner with her parents.

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:09:03Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, all right, what do we get? Some fucking wings?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  She's like, they just still have barbecue sauce on their face from last night.

• 1:09:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking, that's all, it's what, they're picky eaters the way a four-year-old is a picky eater. If they don't have chicken tenders.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  Fries. The only side possible is fries.

• 1:09:20Stavros Halkias?

  Will only eat at sports bars, not your.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Where do we think, where do we think this is? Small town, sports bars?

• 1:09:26Stavros Halkias?

  Midwest, she said, maybe like somewhere in Wisconsin. Yeah, maybe like a college town, some shit like that. Can you give me a little more juice on the volume, Benjamin?

• 1:09:36Stavros Halkias?

  There you go. A teaching moment from Mr. Sula.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, Ann Arbor doesn't feel right. I feel like it's like Wisconsin or something.

• 1:09:41Stavros Halkias?

  It feels Wisconsin to me. I think maybe they, maybe they want cheese curds. Anyway, let's keep going, Ben.

• 1:09:46Speaker 05

  Only like one of a few. So I'm okay with that. I can eat mozzarella sticks. I love wings. Here's the thing. They have recently fallen in love with a sports bar in town that, uh, the food is actually pretty decent. And I went there with them a couple of times. But on our most recent time, I noticed one of the waitresses, not of our section, uh, was my high school bully. Now, mind you, Stavi, I'm in my 30s.

• 1:10:16Speaker 05

  That's all far behind me. I did not speak in high school.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:19Speaker 05

  But I do have a like rule for life that if someone brought a knife to school to, with the intention of stabbing me, I kind of don't like them to have any part of preparing my food.

• 1:10:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so we're talking about something other than a bully.

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wouldn't call that, I would call that attempted murderer.

• 1:10:40Stavros Halkias?

  Also insane.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  Wait, what the fuck?

• 1:10:43Stavros Halkias?

  This is awesome. Oh, this is awesome.

• 1:10:45Speaker 02

  This took an amazing.

• 1:10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Really nice, really nice. Um, okay, so her rule, what's her rule? If someone tries to bring a knife to school, she doesn't want to hang out.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  She doesn't want to have them in there, in her life. She's fucking insane.

• 1:10:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's being a bitch. But your parents like the boneless wings there.

• 1:11:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Stavros Halkias?

  So what's more important?

• 1:11:02Speaker 03

  I don't know. Yeah, she said if someone brings a knife to school with the intention of stabbing me, I don't want them preparing my food. That's what she said.

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's fair. That's quite fair.

• 1:11:09Speaker 02

  Oh, yes. Oh my god, I'm scared.

• 1:11:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's quite fair.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  Wait, so what is her question?

• 1:11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's see what we got.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 1:11:15Stavros Halkias?

  How do I tell my parents? Yeah, probably.

• 1:11:16Speaker 05

  I'm like worried that like she's gonna spit in my food or do something else to it. I just don't want to deal with it. I don't want to go there. The thing is, it's like pretty decent sports bar. So I don't know, like, do I risk it? Do I keep going there with my folks or do I just find another sports bar?

• 1:11:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, uh, again, kind of a weird one.

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  Your parents know this happened, right?

• 1:11:38Speaker 05

  My food tampered with, I guess, but they do make a mean cheeseburger. Anyway, hope you guys have a great day.

• 1:11:44Stavros Halkias?

  So you've given, I love that she's given up on getting her parents to eat any other cuisine. That isn't even part of the.

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  I mean, completely.

• 1:11:51Stavros Halkias?

  Which is so fucking funny. I mean, I get it. I tried to take my mom to like a nice restaurant.

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:55Stavros Halkias?

  And she was like, no.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she was like, she wants to go to like a chain. She, she never wants to get a massage. But I'm working on her on the food. Cause like, we took her to a nice one and it's like, it went from like, no, I'll never go to like,

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  I'll try.

• 1:12:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, I don't, you know, like, so, so we're like, we're, we're like, we're wearing her down to let her have a nice thing in her life. I think about how fucking horrible my mom's life has been.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  You're putting like one little pearl of, of caviar in her food every day to get her up.

• 1:12:28Stavros Halkias?

  And how like, like raising me and my dumbass brothers in like, and we, and like my parents never wanted to admit we were poor, but we were fucking.

• 1:12:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Like.

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  She deserves nice things.

• 1:12:37Stavros Halkias?

  She deserves a nice fucking meal every once in a while.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  I love that for you.

• 1:12:41Stavros Halkias?

  So it's, I love that you, you've given up on, on moving your parents from here. Now, look, I would say your parents know this woman tried to fucking

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hope so.

• 1:12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Potentially stab you.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  If not, now's the time to tell them.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Now's the time to let them know like, hey, that fucking woman with, I'm gonna guess a rose tattoo right above her tits in a, in a place you can see where it feels like, why don't you move this down one inch and it would be covered? Oh no, you want people to see you have a weird faded robe where the line work is bad. Rose tattoo right above your tits. I'm gonna get, you see that woman over there? She tried to kill me when we were children. I think your parents would be like, okay, maybe we can go to fucking Chili's.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  Right. I'm also gonna say like, you are self admitting, like, the burger's pretty tasty.

• 1:13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:29Speaker 02

  So I'm kind of like, all right, so I don't think you want to leave. But the thing is, I think you need to figure out, I wish we could chat on the phone right now.

• 1:13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  But figure out like, what is the current relationship with this person? Are you able to make eye contact and wave and smile? Or are you like kind of scared of this person walking?

• 1:13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cause look, there are, there is another reading of this where it's like, we were talking about earlier, where it's like, if you were really mean, you're, you're either like kind of uh, someone who got everything handed to them and has no empathy or. Someone who's like had fucked up living situation.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:14:05Stavros Halkias?

  And look, obviously, it's traumatic for you to someone to bring a knife.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:10Stavros Halkias?

  But think about how fucking insane you have to be, how bad your family has to be. For you to be a child that's like, I think I'm gonna stab.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:17Stavros Halkias?

  So, there is a world.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  And I, yeah, bringing a knife to school is really like, so there's shit going on.

• 1:14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a world where this person like got psychiatric help, like turned their life around. Now, she is a waitress at this sports bar and you know, no disrespect.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  The best waitress the sports bars ever seen.

• 1:14:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. And it's just tough right now, I get it. I, I'm willing to bet that's not what happened.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:44Stavros Halkias?

  A small midwestern town, was she really doing a lot of self-reflection?

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:14:48Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. But is there a world where this person is even embarrassed by their behavior?

• 1:14:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:14:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, there is. Now, I know, I grew up in a, you know, in Baltimore, I can think of people who were violent when we were children. And yeah, I know two that turned their life around and I know hundreds that are criminals.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:15:09Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, it's maybe not hundreds, tens, tens of criminals.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  The statistics still, you know what I mean?

• 1:15:15Stavros Halkias?

  And my personal, my personal sort of like, oh, and so, and many of them were criminals that never got caught, by the way. Some of them are like just pieces of shit.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  Of them all.

• 1:15:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's that, it's them being smart, not a, not how Baltimore cops don't care if a restaurant owner is a rapist. Uh, that's, that's, that's, it's that they're smart, you know, it's like, anyway.

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, so that I'm not willing to bet that that's what's going on, but, and I think what we're picking up here is she's, she's in sports bar jail.

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:15:52Stavros Halkias?

  She finally found one where the burger hits.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  That really sounds like, I get the predicament, I really do. I think you just have to be like, are you scared right now? And if the answer is yes, then I don't think it's worth it.

• 1:16:03Stavros Halkias?

  I think, yeah, look, fucking DoorDash it.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? If you really love the burger, get it to go.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Little fake name.

• 1:16:09Stavros Halkias?

  Use a fake name, yeah.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Or also just like, tell your parents like, that's where you guys go, but when we're together, I can't go there.

• 1:16:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's date night. When you're about to beat it up, pop.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally.

• 1:16:18Stavros Halkias?

  You and mom go.

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  When she's getting a white Zippin Dale.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  Been delivered from Amazon. That's where you go.

• 1:16:26Stavros Halkias?

  She's getting a white Zin out of a bag, out of a, out of a fucking garbage sized bag. That's where you and mom go to get fucking freaky.

• 1:16:34Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  But we need to, yeah, I, I personally, putting myself in this situation, I would not, and I didn't feel, and, and I didn't know that this person like was hospitalized, medicated, doing well, had a family, all this other shit. I, I wouldn't go there.

• 1:16:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:16:52Stavros Halkias?

  I don't have a bully, I don't have anybody from my past that quite rises to this level.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Stavros Halkias?

  But even more minor enemies, I wouldn't want them dealing with my food.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  I just think like, you know, emotional bullying is just a very different world from knife.

• 1:17:06Stavros Halkias?

  Emotional bullying is so, again, when you're a kid, because the other thing is you look back and now, you know, I'm fucking thirty seven. I don't care about getting bullied in fucking grade school, when I'm a baby.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:16Stavros Halkias?

  And, and you, you understand that like, that like.

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  He's so fucking strong.

• 1:17:21Stavros Halkias?

  I'm fucking strong, dude. It doesn't bother me. I'm over it, I'm fucking cool.

• 1:17:25Speaker 02

  Your audience can feel like that, because like you seriously are.

• 1:17:29Stavros Halkias?

  Just never even.

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  You're bulletproof, nothing to lose.

• 1:17:35Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think about it at all. I don't think like, if it happened now, things would be fucking different.

• 1:17:40Speaker 02

  I'm over it.

• 1:17:43Stavros Halkias?

  But, but like, but even like the bullying that did happen, it's like, who gives a fuck? Those kids probably had bad lives.

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17:50Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever, whatever.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17:51Stavros Halkias?

  But man, when you're like, can I trust this person not to put a poison in my, and again, they're probably not gonna do that.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:17:59Stavros Halkias?

  Pro, and but.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  They might need this job, you know what I mean? And like.

• 1:18:03Stavros Halkias?

  If they're, if they're reformed, but still a piece of shit in their heart, they might rub their pussy on it. They might spit on it.

• 1:18:11Speaker 02

  Oh, I worked in service industry, did that all the time.

• 1:18:14Stavros Halkias?

  You might run a fry or under the underside of the line cooks nuts. You might, you might trace the seam of his balls with a steak fry. You might do something like that, and that's not as bad as dying, but it's not something I'm interested in experiencing.

• 1:18:29Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Up there.

• 1:18:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Horatio Sanz and, they might hit you with the Horatio Sanz in fucking Road Trip. You ever see that? He, he flips some toast, he opens his fucking underwear. It's actually a really funny scene. I actually, I am now re- remembering Horatio Sanz is a sex predator and strike from the record that I thought, you know what? Keep it, because it's like putting Barry Bonds in the Hall of Fame. He's a piece, he deserves it, but he was a piece of shit. That's what I'll say.

• 1:18:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck Horatio Sanz, because he's a piece of shit.

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  Thank you for.

• 1:19:01Stavros Halkias?

  But the person who wrote Road Trip and crafted a scene where a fat guy puts French toast in his nuts, that person deserved the accolade.

• 1:19:09Speaker 02

  If that was improv by Horatio, then.

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  No longer like, look up who wrote Road Trip. Probably Ernest Hemingway.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  Sylvia.

• 1:19:19Stavros Halkias?

  It was his last manuscript.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Uh, written by Todd Phillips and Scott Armstrong.

• 1:19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, if we got, if we got the Todd Phillips in the mix. Did he direct Road Trip? Did I forget that? That movie's fucking good.

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  He wrote it.

• 1:19:33Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that's an.

• 1:19:34Speaker 02

  Who's in that one again?

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, he did direct it.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  I know I've seen it, but which one's Road Trip?

• 1:19:38Speaker 03

  Tom Green.

• 1:19:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's the one where.

• 1:19:40Speaker 03

  Sean William Scott.

• 1:19:41Stavros Halkias?

  The one where I believe somebody cheats on their girlfriend on tape and they have to intercept the tape before his girlfriend finds it.

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  Really? That's the plot?

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's, and the road trip is trying to get the tape before, and I don't know if he cheated or if it looks like he cheated, but it is also, you want to talk about the Odyssey? That might be my favorite Odyssey adaptation, because they're at Ithaca College and they go to an Odyssey to get the cheating.

• 1:20:08Speaker 02

  Oh my god, for real? Holy shit.

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. Am I correct in the plot, Elvis?

• 1:20:13Speaker 02

  Fucking Odyssey.

• 1:20:14Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, the actual book, I, you know, is good.

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  He becomes insecure when he can't regularly reach Tiffany by phone, fearing infidelity, he begins sending her videotape messages.

• 1:20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:20:26Stavros Halkias?

  Keep reading if you.

• 1:20:27Speaker 02

  Oh, his AI overview stopped.

• 1:20:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the robot unplugged. So Elvis fucking forgot. Why did you pause for seven seconds?

• 1:20:35Speaker 03

  Because I'm trying, I'm trying, this is why you need the AI overview, because now I have to reach it on Wikipedia.

• 1:20:41Stavros Halkias?

  When you hire two guys to produce a podcast and Ben is doing all the actual work, you don't have the fucking brain power to read a fucking, to read a fucking article?

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  I'm trying to glean it quickly.

• 1:20:53Speaker 02

  They need our money.

• 1:20:56Stavros Halkias?

  Amen.

• 1:20:57Speaker 02

  Donate to, if you have a dollar, folks, donate, please.

• 1:21:01Stavros Halkias?

  It is funny, because when I was in middle school, they were like, do not use Wikipedia. Now I'm like, that's like the library of balance of injury.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  No, Wikipedia is the most.

• 1:21:09Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  Intelligent being we've ever had.

• 1:21:12Stavros Halkias?

  Elvis.

• 1:21:13Speaker 03

  Yes, you're right. He and Beth escaped to his room and recorded themselves having sex.

• 1:21:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:21:17Speaker 03

  Next morning, he tells his friends he slept with Beth and recorded it. They immediately.

• 1:21:21Stavros Halkias?

  I got it, it's fine. No, don't, don't try and read now, it's too little, too late.

• 1:21:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:26Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, check out Road Trip. So watch Road Trip with your family sometime. Instead, instead of going to the, the place, order DoorDash, watch Road Trip.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  How'd we get here? I don't know, I don't know.

• 1:21:38Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, whatever, don't go there. Next question.

• 1:21:42Speaker 06

  It's obvious, seen gas, eldest. Uh, I'll just get right to it. This is mostly just context for my question. I spend most of my life prioritizing saving money over actually living. Starting at twelve, I used my summer vacations to work. My parents paid for college, but I still worked almost full time throughout.

• 1:22:00Stavros Halkias?

  I love when you can tell they wrote it first.

• 1:22:02Speaker 06

  And I was so frugal that I'd avoid going places because I didn't want to spend money on gas or going out with friends, because I didn't want to spend money on food or drink.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 1:22:10Speaker 06

  Eventually I realized this was hurting my friendships and making me pretty difficult to be around. I worked really hard on this. And now I spend much more freely on travel and experiences and the people I love.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 1:22:21Speaker 06

  I'm thirty, I've built my saving and I'm happier and less stressed about money than I've ever been.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  He's like, but now I have too much money.

• 1:22:29Speaker 06

  Few relationships, but none lasting more than two years. I've now been with my girlfriend for six months and this relationship feels completely different than I have ever had.

• 1:22:40Speaker 02

  Yay.

• 1:22:40Speaker 06

  She has a four-year-old daughter who I've become incredibly close with. And essentially already acting as a stepdad and we're planning on moving in together when my lease is up in February.

• 1:22:52Speaker 06

  I don't feel like we're moving too fast at all, but I'm sure people would. I can genuinely see myself marrying her.

• 1:22:58Stavros Halkias?

  He's thirty.

• 1:22:58Speaker 06

  But I'm on the fence about having children together.

• 1:23:04Speaker 02

  He's twenty-four?

• 1:23:05Speaker 06

  Honestly, that goes back to my relationship with money. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm still not exactly stoked about spending hundreds of thousands to raise a child. I truly hate working and I've built my finances around the idea of potentially retiring very early. Having a child could mean.

• 1:23:22Stavros Halkias?

  What are you gonna do?

• 1:23:23Speaker 06

  Another ten plus.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  He lost me.

• 1:23:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  He really had me, like wrapped around his finger.

• 1:23:27Stavros Halkias?

  But I do think this is so clearly whatever psychological issue he has with money.

• 1:23:32Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like coming back when it's, when the stakes are.

• 1:23:35Speaker 02

  It's trauma, but I guess, he said he grew up poor, right? Is that what he said?

• 1:23:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:40Stavros Halkias?

  I, I mean, listen, I grew up poor too. I, my relationship with money is a lot different, like, I never budgeted until I just didn't ever have to, so I got lucky. Shit would have actually gone bad for me if it didn't work out.

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  I mean, a hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:53Stavros Halkias?

  I would be back in Baltimore for sure.

• 1:23:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:23:55Stavros Halkias?

  Working at a, or, you know, I'd, I'd be at that sports bar with that stabby whore, uh, that stabby mentally insane bully or whatever.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:24:02Stavros Halkias?

  Um, no disrespect again.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  No, you guys would be.

• 1:24:05Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to the service.

• 1:24:06Speaker 02

  You guys would be really cute.

• 1:24:07Stavros Halkias?

  We would be a cute couple.

• 1:24:08Speaker 02

  Wait, I will say the last time I did, I did your podcast, there actually were like two comments that were like, if Grace was straight, they'd be a fucking adorable fat couple.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  I, and I, I was reading comments like Larry smiling like.

• 1:24:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that is true. It is cute. But again, that is more not fat people, seeing fat people as like toys to put together. It's like, isn't it cute when Sailor Moon and Goku are together? It's like, that's how they see fat, every time I do anything with a fat person.

• 1:24:38Speaker 02

  Two circles look good together. It would be different if it was a circle and a rectangle.

• 1:24:48Stavros Halkias?

  Um, okay. Is there more? Let's, let's, let's let him finish.

• 1:24:51Speaker 02

  Oh, we haven't let him finish?

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's okay.

• 1:24:53Speaker 06

  Another ten plus years of working. I love kids and I think about wanting to bring a lot of joy and happiness to both their lives and purpose. Um, so my question is, I spent most of my youth sacrificing experiences to achieve financial freedom. Now that I've built some freedom, am I supposed to sacrifice that again for a family? How do you know when you're, you've saved enough to start prioritizing your life? Your money is, that your money is supposed to give you? I'm genuinely terrified of dying at my desk. Does it sound like I'm being reckless or does it sound like I'm finally learning to take a risk on something that feels genuinely right?

• 1:25:33Speaker 06

  Thanks, guys.

• 1:25:35Speaker 02

  You're welcome.

• 1:25:36Stavros Halkias?

  Respect. I mean, honestly, this is fascinating because

• 1:25:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:39Stavros Halkias?

  his two greatest fears are at odds with each other in a way that will ensure he's never happy.

• 1:25:46Speaker 02

  He's like, I'm either, I'm, I either am wasting my whole life or I'm gonna fucking die right now.

• 1:25:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, I, I will, I will be on the street or I die at my desk. And it's like, brother, the, it's like, those, you can't, it's one or the other.

• 1:25:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:26:00Stavros Halkias?

  And it's, and in fact, it shouldn't be either. It should be the, you, you know this, though. This guy knows this, where you've experienced a easier version of this conundrum, which is, you realize that nobody wants to be around the cheap prick

• 1:26:12Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:26:13Stavros Halkias?

  who Venmos you for fucking an eight dollar, an eight dollar fucking, you know, whatever the fuck. I was gonna say soda, but there's no eight dollar soda. An eight dollar.

• 1:26:21Speaker 02

  Not yet, but I can't wait for the day there is.

• 1:26:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's probably so tasty. You, who Venmo, let's say an eight dollar fucking thing of popcorn or whatever, the movies, whatever. I was, I'll stick with sodas.

• 1:26:33Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 1:26:34Stavros Halkias?

  You're at the movies.

• 1:26:35Speaker 02

  Be confident.

• 1:26:35Stavros Halkias?

  They charge you eight dollars at the soda, for a soda. So it makes sense.

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:26:40Stavros Halkias?

  And if my fucking bully from elementary school is watching, you can't make fun of me about that. I meant to say eight dollars.

• 1:26:49Stavros Halkias?

  So, take, so, hand to the frickin' face, booyah.

• 1:26:56Stavros Halkias?

  Um, like, you've realized that that cost you friendship, being that cheap, that frugal.

• 1:27:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:03Stavros Halkias?

  This is now just that with stakes, right? You're saying, you're, you're, dude, you, fuck, honestly, here's the other thing you need to do, watch the fucking Christmas Carol. You're literally talking about being Scrooge, bro. Do you wanna be fucking Scrooge? Or do you wanna be fucking the poor guy with his fucked up kid with his fucked up little legs, but he's happy?

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:27:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, that's the, and so, now, is there a separate issue here about the moving fast thing, twenty-four? He's twenty, yeah, he's twenty-four.

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  What was he saying?

• 1:27:35Stavros Halkias?

  His girl is how old?

• 1:27:36Speaker 02

  He's twenty-four, she's.

• 1:27:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's thirty and she has a four-year-old. Well, listen, I, look, are you moving a little too fast? I don't know what to tell you there.

• 1:27:45Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm a lesbian, so like.

• 1:27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 02

  No, you're moving slow.

• 1:27:49Stavros Halkias?

  Great, yeah, Grace, Grace has technically been married eight times. She's, civil union laws have stopped her from being married, but yeah. Um, like, I think you just can't, the money thing is clearly a psychological hangup for you. It is a, it is a, it is something that is not rational, is not logical. It's clearly, you, if you've saved up a little money, go to fucking therapy about it.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:28:16Stavros Halkias?

  For sure. Um, because this is just like a, this is just something that is there. And look, I actually, I do get this because I joke about never knowing shit about money, but I, it was so, I was so aware that my dad was in debt, that my parents were in debt, that I was like, I'm not going to college if I have to take out a student loan.

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:28:35Stavros Halkias?

  And I went to a small school, like, twenty minutes from my house.

• 1:28:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:39Stavros Halkias?

  And I, I went on scholarship. So, that's the, literally the only reason I went to college, was because I was like, I'm not doing it. I never had credit card debt. I was, whenever I got money, I, I didn't have money. I just didn't have negative.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were never saving till it happened to you.

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  It was, it was like, the, the level of financial literacy I had was don't have negative money, which I guess is a step up from what, you know, my family, but I do get being fucking scared of this shit.

• 1:29:03Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 1:29:03Stavros Halkias?

  But you're realizing what is so much more important. I mean, you have a relationship with this kid, you clearly love this woman. Um, are you moving too fast? I don't know. I mean, look, dude. Uh, it sounds like shit's going good. You, you will just have to think about that. Those are two separate issues, right? But couching it in the terms of wasting my money on a family is the wrong.

• 1:29:26Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:29:26Stavros Halkias?

  This is why you have money. You love this woman, you love her daughter, you're like, I sacrificed, I sacrificed my, you know, experiences, my youth. Take this fucking little kid to Disney World, bro. Take, or not, you know, whatever, some, go to a beach, go like, have the experiences with people you love. I can tell you as the like, my shit is kinda the opposite where it's like, I built up my career so much, at the expense of kind of every other part of my humanity.

• 1:29:51Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:29:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, the last four, five years, it's been a serious struggle where I'm like, what am I doing this for?

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:29:59Stavros Halkias?

  And so, it sounds like you're dealing with the same thing. I can tell you my plan, it's been my plan for a while. It's like, yeah, after this run, I want to, I wanna do all the stuff that I have not. I wanna spend a couple of years of my life where my career's in the background and personal life, all this other shit, is in the, you know, hang out with my family, seeing my nephew, visiting all the babies in my family. Uh, giving eldest's child a strong male role model because he will not have that.

• 1:30:25Speaker 02

  I know. I was worried about that.

• 1:30:31Speaker 02

  I'm glad you're stepping up.

• 1:30:32Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah. Eld, in eldest's home, they, we fire, they, they file, they follow the same hierarchy of Stobby Baby Enterprises.

• 1:30:39Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:30:39Stavros Halkias?

  So he is a high-ranking, he's high-ranking, but he's not

• 1:30:42Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:30:43Stavros Halkias?

  number one, obviously.

• 1:30:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but, uh, but yeah, so, I would say, you're in danger of like, losing, and look, maybe, I don't even know if this relationship is gonna work out. Who's to say?

• 1:30:55Speaker 02

  Totally. This girl could be fucking crazy and the kid could suck. We don't actually know.

• 1:31:00Stavros Halkias?

  The kid might be a real dud. You know? After, after, maybe she's dumb.

• 1:31:05Speaker 02

  For him to ask himself, like, if he were to die at his desk tomorrow, where would he want that money to go? If the answer is to the girl and the kid,

• 1:31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:14Speaker 02

  then you're absolutely, you absolutely know what track you're trying to follow up.

• 1:31:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's another.

• 1:31:17Speaker 02

  If the answer is like, my parents and I wouldn't want this woman and her kid to get a dime.

• 1:31:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, but I think the answer, unfortunately, I think the answer would be, uh, I wish I could go back in time and spend it. Like, I think the reality is, it's not that he, and I think, you know, who knows where he would give the money, it's

• 1:31:35Speaker 02

  I wish I could have gotten them gifts or like

• 1:31:37Stavros Halkias?

  I wish I had just done something. And so, I would see, what is the real root of this? Okay, your parents grew up poor. A lot of people's parents grow up poor. Most people do not develop this type of psychological. In fact, I would say most people who grow up poor just are bad with money.

• 1:31:52Speaker 02

  Totally. He, he should be proud that he like, you know, is careful about things. It's definitely like a good thing.

• 1:31:59Stavros Halkias?

  In terms of psycho, psychological issues to have, being so good with money at this current day and age where like, everyone who works hard can't buy a fucking house?

• 1:32:10Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:32:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's not the worst. Look at it that way. You do have a psychological issue, but you got kind of a good one.

• 1:32:16Speaker 02

  Right. No, it's the one I, that most people would take.

• 1:32:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's the one you'd want as opposed to, you know, gambling addict, you know what I mean? Like.

• 1:32:23Speaker 02

  He also, it's like, okay, he said he like, lost friendships and whatever throughout his life because of this. It's like, well, maybe it's like a little sign from the world that like, this is what you're supposed to do with the money.

• 1:32:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:34Speaker 02

  It's like, create a fucking life for yourself.

• 1:32:36Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, you're young enough, this is the age where you should be having these realizations.

• 1:32:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:32:40Stavros Halkias?

  And your mid twenties is kinda when you figure out who you really are.

• 1:32:43Speaker 02

  Twenty-four is a baby, though.

• 1:32:45Stavros Halkias?

  Su- super baby. That's why I'm saying like, that's why I'm saying like, what you need to focus on is fixing your issues with money? Is this too fast? Is it not?

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  Right. That's for another time.

• 1:32:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's a different thing.

• 1:32:56Speaker 02

  Don't get married like, right this moment.

• 1:32:58Stavros Halkias?

  But he's also conflating the two things where it's like, well, the money, I guess the problem is, you see everything as having financial value. And you see it as like, is having a child, you even said it, I don't really feel like spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a kid. That's not how anybody sees having a kid. No, when you, you have a kid because you wanna have a fucking kid. You wanna have a family. It's like, yes, of course it's expensive as fuck. What the fuck else are you gonna do with your money?

• 1:33:27Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a literal human being.

• 1:33:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, you know, I don't, you, I think you need to figure out, you need to go to therapy and talk about this shit, cause like, what's the root of this? You know, where, you know, what behavior that your parents did specifically has you feeling this way? Um, and, and yeah, you, but I get it though, because I also have that thing of like, is this relationship, I have that thing of like, seeing a relationship as like a burden instead of a good thing? And he, it sounds like he has that too, where it's like, you know, naturally, you just look at, and that might come from having the types of parents that fucking, you know, wasted money, didn't fucking care about you. You see the people around you who love you as something that you have to fucking put up with.

• 1:34:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like maintenance fees.

• 1:34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:16Speaker 02

  You're like, oh, fuck, I gotta kiss my girlfriend today. Jesus Christ.

• 1:34:21Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck, that actually, that actually is so fucked and true about, you just fuck, by accident completely sent me spiraling.

• 1:34:28Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 1:34:30Stavros Halkias?

  And so, like, yeah, dude, I think this is so, this is just. The the Cliff Notes version of this is like, absolutely, you cannot be afraid to spend money on stuff like this. In particular, if you're like, this is the girl I want to be with.

• 1:34:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:34:44Stavros Halkias?

  And and look, isn't a pinch early, maybe, but it's also like cute. It's nice. If you're actually in love. She's probably pumped to have somebody who's like nice and the, you know, like wants to build a life with her. You have a relationship with this kid.

• 1:34:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:57Stavros Halkias?

  She's open to having more kids with you and you. He said he wants to have kids. So it's like. Look, how this relationship goes, I'm not sure. But you can't let this psych psychosis, this like, this like fucking money obsession. Stop you from living a full life. That would be the overall note that I would give our pal here.

• 1:35:16Speaker 02

  And he has the opportunity to like, you know.

• 1:35:20Speaker 02

  Teach the kid some things that he didn't learn.

• 1:35:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's that's the nice. I mean, it is cute to see my brother like. Be an awesome dad.

• 1:35:29Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:35:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, that's fucking, that's like a bad, like better dad than our dad for real. Uh, and you know, he had an opportunity to be a better dad, so he's doing it. It's nice to see people who do, you know. That shit is cute. So, yeah, that's an ultimate way of like. If you do have some resentment towards your family, honestly, the best way is to just. Make a better family for and raise a better person than you.

• 1:35:51Speaker 02

  I will say about like trauma and those kinds of things is like, you just have to work on it. No one fucking cares.

• 1:35:56Stavros Halkias?

  No one gives a fuck.

• 1:35:57Speaker 02

  No one gives a fuck.

• 1:35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Everybody's shit is some.

• 1:36:00Speaker 02

  You just gotta try your best. You really got to.

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And when they care, it's like such a bummer. Why? It's gotta be so fucked up for people to be like, absolutely.

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:36:11Stavros Halkias?

  You need, you don't want to tell that fucking story. And so, you know, it's all good, bro. You're you're you're doing good. Stay out of your.

• 1:36:18Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 1:36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Congrats. Shit's going good for you. You've worked on this problem a little bit. Keep working on it. That's that's the overall.

• 1:36:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's the overall advice. What else we got?

• 1:36:29Speaker 00

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• 1:37:30Speaker 03

  Hello, Stavi, Aldous, this is Dean Gatt. Um, I have a food question and I don't think that there's any better place for me to go in the world to address a food question than here.

• 1:37:41Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, what about a trained chef?

• 1:37:43Speaker 03

  Two months ago, I moved to Germany, relocated to Germany.

• 1:37:47Speaker 03

  Myself and my beautiful German wife didn't want our tax money contributing to the disaster of the United States of America. And I love, life here is great.

• 1:37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see his fat phobia. It's rooted in this German identity.

• 1:38:00Speaker 03

  Is since coming to Germany, um, I have discovered that I am gluten intolerant. Um, and this isn't like a pussy, like gluten is bad for me. This is like a. Uh, pretty confident at celiac. Every time I eat any gluten, I have horrific diarrhea, terrible stomach pains. Um, explosive. The inside of the toilet looks like a water balloon full of shit has just exploded in there. It's a goddamn disaster.

• 1:38:27Stavros Halkias?

  That is barely a metaphor.

• 1:38:29Speaker 02

  He's like, I'm not sure if you know what diarrhea is, but basically let me paint a picture for you.

• 1:38:35Stavros Halkias?

  You just added one step to shitting. You put a funnel in your ass and put it into the balloon and then threw the. The shit goes in the toilet, man. I know what the fuck diarrhea is like, anyway.

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, keep going, Ben.

• 1:38:52Speaker 03

  Bloating awful, right? And so I've deduced that it's a gluten allergy through completely removing gluten from my life. Uh, here is the problem. I I live in the world headquarters of bread and beer, which are my two favorite fucking things in the world.

• 1:39:09Stavros Halkias?

  Sausage as well.

• 1:39:09Speaker 03

  And I now suddenly can't have either of them. Um, and I don't know what the fuck to do.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Do you want your wife to pick up a different type, maybe an Asian wife where there's more rice?

• 1:39:22Speaker 02

  That's really smart.

• 1:39:23Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking Thailand.

• 1:39:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Eat some rice noodles.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  Rice noodles.

• 1:39:26Stavros Halkias?

  With a different, you know, wife that you're escaping America with.

• 1:39:30Speaker 02

  Easy.

• 1:39:30Stavros Halkias?

  Easy done. Next question. Was there more? No, that was it. Basically. Oh, there's more.

• 1:39:36Speaker 03

  Uh, I I'm vegan, so I I can't eat worst.

• 1:39:40Speaker 03

  All the other amazing German food is off the table for me.

• 1:39:44Speaker 02

  Dude, he's like, I'm fucking starving right now.

• 1:39:48Speaker 03

  Bread in the world.

• 1:39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Speaker 02

  He's only eating cabbage.

• 1:39:51Speaker 03

  And now I suddenly can't have either of those things.

• 1:39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  So I guess my my question for you is, do I, you know. Say once every two weeks that it's just, it's worth it, fuck it, fuck my stomach, fuck my toilet. I'm going to jump in, you know, head first and knock back. 10 or 12 years with my beautiful German wife and pay for it the next day. Um, or do I accept this as my new reality? And write off in entirety, um, beer and bread.

• 1:40:23Speaker 02

  Did he say knock off 10, 12 years of my life?

• 1:40:26Stavros Halkias?

  No, 10, 12 beers with my wife.

• 1:40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Which sounds awesome, by the way. Getting fucked up with your wife.

• 1:40:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, totally.

• 1:40:36Stavros Halkias?

  I do remember.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  The dreams are made of.

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  I I mean, I do. It's the way that I've started to believe in like, like love and like having a family and shit is the dumbest shit of all time. Like, the kid, the way I was like, have, like, I was like, whoa, it'd be awesome to have a kid when I. When I was like, well, one day I could show this kid fucking John Wick. You know what I mean? Or like, one day I can watch Heat with my child. You know what I'm saying? And then when Aldous just told a story about spending all day high on the couch with his wife, I was like. You could do that with your wife? Not just your boys? I was like, wait a second. One of my favorite activities.

• 1:41:12Speaker 02

  You've like never met a girl before because you're like, they don't want to do shit. They don't want to do cool shit.

• 1:41:17Stavros Halkias?

  Every time I have a girlfriend, I'm always like, I always have the like. I'm like, well, we gotta fucking, you know, do activities like there's like.

• 1:41:24Speaker 02

  Oh, you're like thinking of dates.

• 1:41:26Stavros Halkias?

  I'm thinking of, yeah, I'm like, whoa, you could get to a point where, and also, by the way, every time I would have girl, like. When I was dating people, I was, I would be so busy pathetically with, I wasn't even, I didn't have a career.

• 1:41:39Speaker 02

  No, but you just.

• 1:41:39Stavros Halkias?

  I would just be doing so much shit that when I had a day off, I would just want to. Get high and hang out and my, and the people I were dating at the time would be like, what the fuck? Like, I see you and all you want to do is like stay indoors. And it was literally like this moment where I was like, whoa, you could just do like a fun, easy activity. And but it's like. It was literally like replacing my friends who, you know, I, they're pretty up there in terms of who I love. Right under family, I would say, above certain family members.

• 1:42:07Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:42:08Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like, wait, you could find a person you actually love more than them.

• 1:42:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  Like to fuck? And they might want to get high and watch movies all day? Literally, that's how fucking stupid I am.

• 1:42:19Speaker 02

  No, but it's true.

• 1:42:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like that clicked for me. Anyway.

• 1:42:22Speaker 02

  Right. Well, that's how I feel being recently single is I'm like, all the things that I feel like I haven't been able to have in my relationships, I'm just telling myself I a hundred percent can.

• 1:42:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  I literally am going to find the absolute perfect person for myself and everyone should feel that way.

• 1:42:35Stavros Halkias?

  What's the, what are some, what are you thinking there in terms of perfect person?

• 1:42:39Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:42:40Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have a.

• 1:42:41Speaker 02

  Hailey Bieber.

• 1:42:43Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I already very bravely said my perfect, my ideal woman is a divorced Hillary Duff.

• 1:42:49Speaker 02

  You know, I'll take her too.

• 1:42:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, I call dibs. No, hold on. We got to clear dibs here.

• 1:42:53Speaker 02

  No, Hillary, come on.

• 1:42:55Stavros Halkias?

  You don't get Hillary. You can have Hailey Bieber.

• 1:42:59Speaker 02

  I have no clue.

• 1:43:00Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, yeah, I see you. You're somebody who would be fucking perfect.

• 1:43:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can a hundred percent find the perfect person. So I, it sounds like this guy has it. Unfortunately, he's not the perfect person.

• 1:43:08Stavros Halkias?

  He's not perfect for her. In fact, his wife should have divorced him.

• 1:43:12Speaker 02

  And I think he should be very on edge.

• 1:43:14Stavros Halkias?

  And he's, yes, and yep.

• 1:43:15Speaker 02

  His time is running out.

• 1:43:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. Go to fucking Oktoberfest, knock back some.

• 1:43:20Speaker 02

  Here's what I will say. And like.

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, vegan.

• 1:43:23Speaker 02

  That really.

• 1:43:24Stavros Halkias?

  Is the killer. Cause like, not vegan.

• 1:43:26Speaker 02

  Rooting for him.

• 1:43:27Stavros Halkias?

  Eat some meat. You're in Germany, but he's like, I'm vegan.

• 1:43:30Speaker 02

  But vegan in Germ, I am like, what is he able to eat? Like vegetables?

• 1:43:35Stavros Halkias?

  I guess. Yeah, I don't fuck it.

• 1:43:37Speaker 02

  Obviously fruit.

• 1:43:38Stavros Halkias?

  Schnitz, no, schnitzel's meat.

• 1:43:46Speaker 02

  Like soups, some soups.

• 1:43:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cabbage, you said it yourself.

• 1:43:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, cabbage, like sauerkraut, but like, I'm.

• 1:43:52Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, so his question is, here's the thing, you're, he's saying, should I every once in a while just go crazy?

• 1:43:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Take it from someone who literally did this with GLP ones for about four months.

• 1:44:03Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:44:03Stavros Halkias?

  Where every once in a while I'd be like, I'm beating it. And I would get so fucking sick, dude. I would get high as shit and eat like an animal. Eat uncomfortable, just psychological damage. Like my problem here, like that guy's money problem, I I have it 10 times worse with food. But, uh, and after you fucking, after you get shocked by the electric fence. Enough times, you're gonna stop. So what you're talking about now, you're in the, you're in the bargaining phase of fucking, uh, grief or whatever the fuck. Tragedy, what's that? Denial bargaining, whatever the fuck that shit is, the seven stages of some shit. Anyway, fuck, don't look it up, elders. Just fucking keep looking at me dumbfounded. Uh, you're at the bargaining phase.

• 1:44:48Speaker 02

  Flying too close to the sun. I'm trying to think of another Greek story and the the rubber of his feathers are melting. Isn't that one?

• 1:44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Wax. They made the wings out of, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:02Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, so, that'll, the, the Zalos and Icarus. Great. By the way, Icarus, the, that was the restaurant my mother was a waitress at for years.

• 1:45:11Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, really?

• 1:45:12Stavros Halkias?

  Closed down, unfortunately. Great, great place, but RIP, RIP Icarus.

• 1:45:19Stavros Halkias?

  You are just try, you're bargaining, you're like, oh, every couple of weeks, I'll just have beer and have diarrhea.

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:26Stavros Halkias?

  Eventually, you're, you can try that. Eventually, you will face reality.

• 1:45:30Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 1:45:31Stavros Halkias?

  And you will have to craft a life. And dude, I don't even know what the fuck to do here.

• 1:45:36Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 1:45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Vegan.

• 1:45:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:45:38Stavros Halkias?

  I guess where they, depending on where they, I could see Berlin, just because people say it's gay, and in my head, gay and vegan go together. I could see Berlin having vegan.

• 1:45:46Speaker 02

  No, but it's just still tough because I'm just like imagining being in Berlin and having like a fucking amazing falafel bowl, but it's like the falafel would have wheat.

• 1:45:55Stavros Halkias?

  Does it? Falafel, isn't that chickpea flour?

• 1:45:57Speaker 02

  Oh, it's chickpea flour.

• 1:45:59Stavros Halkias?

  So falafel.

• 1:46:00Speaker 02

  Well, buddy, go get yourself falafel.

• 1:46:04Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, I hate, I hate, uh, Middle Eastern.

• 1:46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:46:07Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 1:46:08Speaker 02

  But you know, here's the thing, like, I'm no stranger to diarrhea, so it's kind of like.

• 1:46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:46:14Speaker 02

  If you are, I don't know, ask yourself if you're okay with that, then of course, sure do it.

• 1:46:19Stavros Halkias?

  But if he's a vegan who married a piece of ass in Germany.

• 1:46:22Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:46:23Stavros Halkias?

  He's probably not fat. You know what I mean?

• 1:46:25Speaker 02

  No, totally.

• 1:46:25Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not. He didn't sound fat. In fact, he was so disrespectful in the way he couched this question. Oh, there's no better person to ask a food question.

• 1:46:34Speaker 02

  No, of course.

• 1:46:35Stavros Halkias?

  That he's definitely not fat.

• 1:46:36Speaker 02

  He looked at it, he winked in the mirror.

• 1:46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's some fucking little pipsqueak that I'm glad can't eat fucking bread.

• 1:46:43Speaker 02

  And vegans, I mean, you know.

• 1:46:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:45Speaker 02

  Of course, they can be fat.

• 1:46:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:47Speaker 02

  Often, they just, you know.

• 1:46:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's a type of.

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  Their skin doesn't glow, but they have a sick.

• 1:46:51Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course, of course. Yeah, yeah. Gray skin. Uh, uh, yeah, no, absolutely.

• 1:46:58Speaker 02

  No light in their eyes.

• 1:46:59Stavros Halkias?

  No light in their eyes, but you know, can be, can be very vascular at the same time. I mean, look, dude, you're completely fucked and there's no way around this.

• 1:47:08Speaker 02

  It sucks ass. Like, it is, when, when you said, like, see, like, like, I really, like, got shivered down my spine, like, that is my nightmare.

• 1:47:16Stavros Halkias?

  Because vegan, like, I had a friend recently who got bit by with that tick that makes you allergic to meat.

• 1:47:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, how's he doing?

• 1:47:24Stavros Halkias?

  Bad. I mean, like, health-wise, fine, but like, she's like, gonna kill herself because she's tired of eating fish.

• 1:47:29Speaker 02

  When did it happen?

• 1:47:32Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe like six months ago?

• 1:47:34Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 1:47:34Stavros Halkias?

  But apparently, it gets better over time and it's weirdly only, it's not your whole life.

• 1:47:38Speaker 02

  Like, meat tastes like shit or something?

• 1:47:40Stavros Halkias?

  I think you get sick. I think you get sick. Even worse. Yeah, yeah, you get this type of shit. So, now, you can lose one thing and be fine. Like, we're goofing on vegans, but.

• 1:47:52Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:47:53Stavros Halkias?

  As a ve- vegans can have some good, there's some great shit you can eat as vegan.

• 1:47:57Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:47:57Stavros Halkias?

  But when you start putting two together.

• 1:48:00Speaker 02

  I know. Then you're, then you're honestly handicapped.

• 1:48:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're worse. You're worse than, I would ra- no joke, I would rather lose the use of my fucking feet and legs.

• 1:48:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:11Stavros Halkias?

  Then have to be vegan and gluten free, which someone might argue, I will be losing my foot. Because of that stance at some point in my life, but, uh, but I would truly rather be paralyzed. As long as I can fucking play video games and fucking, once I get the shoulder fixed and finger again.

• 1:48:28Speaker 02

  Guy.

• 1:48:31Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, fuck, I would need my cock still. Let me be very clear.

• 1:48:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:34Stavros Halkias?

  I would still need my cock.

• 1:48:36Speaker 02

  Okay, because I was about to take it away.

• 1:48:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be, I don't want, I want to be paralyzed right under my nuts. Right under my nuts, the paralysis kicks in. Uh, I would rather do that than be vegan and gluten free.

• 1:48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just sounds fucking, ah, where's the joie de vie?

• 1:48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what could you eat? Fruits? Like, let's, fruits, falafel, rice noodles, I guess Asian is where you want to go.

• 1:48:58Speaker 02

  Asian.

• 1:48:59Stavros Halkias?

  India, you gotta move to India. They got crazy good vegan food, actually. All right, either, listen, you divorce your wife and either get a woman from like Vietnam or, you know, India.

• 1:49:09Speaker 02

  The answer is just stop fucking eating German food and drinking beer. Like, the vegan's almost not the issue, I'm realizing. It's like.

• 1:49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. He thought he had his perfect life.

• 1:49:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:49:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm moving to Germany, my wife is a hot German lady, I'm vegan, but.

• 1:49:23Speaker 02

  They ought to have.

• 1:49:24Stavros Halkias?

  But they got so much good bread.

• 1:49:25Speaker 02

  Gluten-free beer on draft in Germany? If they have N A Guinness on draft in Ireland?

• 1:49:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. It's possible.

• 1:49:34Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:49:35Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 1:49:36Speaker 02

  No one really cares about.

• 1:49:37Stavros Halkias?

  No one gives a fuck. I think it could be the kind of thing where they're like, what?

• 1:49:39Speaker 02

  Care more about alcoholics, is that possible?

• 1:49:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because you can sell, those people have a disease, you can sell them more.

• 1:49:45Speaker 02

  Right, so true. They're looking for something else to buy also.

• 1:49:49Stavros Halkias?

  I have had friends who've drank twelve Heineken zeros and it's like, alright, man.

• 1:49:53Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 1:49:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, what are we doing here?

• 1:49:55Speaker 02

  Not anymore. Now I just will burp too much and it makes me so uncomfortable.

• 1:49:59Stavros Halkias?

  You drank twelve shitty sodas?

• 1:50:01Speaker 02

  But when I first quit drinking, uh, back in that first time, my first stint at it.

• 1:50:06Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:50:06Speaker 02

  I really was like fucking pounding and it's so funny.

• 1:50:11Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so yeah, dude, you're fucked. Just start fucking eating vegan, like, eat rice, eat fucking, and would I do this? Do it if you want. I mean, look, I've literally lived my, like you said, no stranger to diarrhea. I have eat, I used to get diarrhea like every third day.

• 1:50:26Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:50:27Stavros Halkias?

  So I basically lived like this, but just with regular overeating.

• 1:50:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:50:31Stavros Halkias?

  But again, I don't think you're built like that.

• 1:50:33Speaker 02

  Alright, exactly. We think you're a little too dainty, buddy.

• 1:50:36Stavros Halkias?

  You're too dainty for this lifestyle. So I would say, you know, Indian, it's a lot of ethnic cuisine.

• 1:50:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, which is honestly awesome, and he probably is in a good spot for it, like, but like.

• 1:50:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it depends what part of Germany.

• 1:50:46Speaker 02

  Don't you feel like Berlin, Berlin would?

• 1:50:48Stavros Halkias?

  I went to fucking Dusseldorf randomly because I, I.

• 1:50:51Speaker 02

  That's a real place?

• 1:50:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, Dusseldorf, Germany. Uh, and it was because weirdly, there's, my grandmother's island, there's like three places in Europe that have a direct flight. And one of them was Dusseldorf and I was in Amsterdam, so I took a train to Dusseldorf.

• 1:51:07Speaker 02

  I have never heard of this place. Like, I feel you're freaking.

• 1:51:09Stavros Halkias?

  Fake, but it's real. But anyway, it had really good Japanese food, actually, and it had, it had really good, like, Middle Eastern food too, so.

• 1:51:17Speaker 02

  That sounds awesome.

• 1:51:17Stavros Halkias?

  Germany has, now, if he's in the sticks, he's probably fucked. You gotta move somewhere where you can eat some of the shit. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Fuck you. Next question.

• 1:51:27Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:51:28Speaker 05

  Hi, Stavi and Eldis. Um, I'm just calling about.

• 1:51:34Stavros Halkias?

  What are you, what were you scheming on over there? Were you trying to get the last one?

• 1:51:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't know if there was a last one.

• 1:51:39Stavros Halkias?

  We'll, we'll speed through this one and then get to a last one.

• 1:51:41Speaker 03

  Okay, hold on, then, then Ben do another one first.

• 1:51:44Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking idiot. I'll tell you when it's the last one.

• 1:51:47Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:51:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, all you need to do is Google. That's all I'm asking of you. Why are, why, why, how about you handle summarizing articles fast and let me worry about when the last one comes?

• 1:51:59Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:52:01Speaker 02

  Wait, is this the last one or are we doing two more?

• 1:52:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think we're gonna do this one and another one quickly.

• 1:52:06Speaker 02

  Okay, fabulous.

• 1:52:08Speaker 06

  Hey, Stav, Eldis, uh, wonderful guest. Um, just really not feeling, uh, like having sex anymore and I kinda wanted some advice on.

• 1:52:18Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:52:18Speaker 06

  Uh, what to do. Um.

• 1:52:20Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:52:21Speaker 06

  My wife and I have been married for over ten years. Uh, we haven't been having sex too much like the last two years, just, we've both got kinda fat. Uh, so I was thinking maybe it's just because I wasn't really attracted to myself or her, but we got untrued up the tie and we did swap like forty, fifty pounds.

• 1:52:40Stavros Halkias?

  When I jack my shit, I'm not attracted to myself.

• 1:52:43Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:52:45Stavros Halkias?

  In fact, in many ways, I hate myself. Anyway.

• 1:52:47Speaker 02

  Probably.

• 1:52:48Speaker 06

  Oh, she's like one ninety-five, I'm five-ten, she's five-eleven, so we're both looking pretty good. Uh, I started going to the gym again. Um, but now that like I'm thinner and she's feeling herself more, she's like, wants to fuck more, um, but I just don't wanna fuck at all.

• 1:53:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're depressed.

• 1:53:09Speaker 06

  Now, you know, I thought it was because I was fat and now.

• 1:53:12Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:53:12Speaker 06

  I'm realizing that like I'm just not horny at all.

• 1:53:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:53:17Speaker 06

  Uh, like, just even with other women, like, you know, I like thinking about other attractive women, like, I just don't want to have sex at all.

• 1:53:23Speaker 02

  He's like, I told her, baby, it's for us.

• 1:53:26Speaker 06

  Totally a new feeling because I'm thinking back to when I was in my early twenties and I was just like forcing myself to fuck like disgusting women that I wasn't attracted to at all.

• 1:53:36Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 1:53:37Speaker 06

  My brain was so like.

• 1:53:38Stavros Halkias?

  What is going on here?

• 1:53:39Speaker 06

  You know, and now.

• 1:53:40Speaker 02

  It's like, my dick is fucking bloody, dude.

• 1:53:42Speaker 06

  Anything. Um, I got my testosterone tested and I'm in the range for where I'm supposed to be for someone my age, I'm thirty-six.

• 1:53:50Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:53:50Speaker 06

  Uh, I tried taking boner pills, but then like, I'm just sitting there annoyed that my cock is hard, you know, because like, I don't want to do anything with it.

• 1:53:59Speaker 02

  He's just sad as fuck.

• 1:54:00Stavros Halkias?

  You're so depressed.

• 1:54:03Speaker 03

  I kinda miss wanting to have sex.

• 1:54:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I miss smiling. I miss the sun.

• 1:54:10Speaker 03

  You know, captured by that little demon on your shoulder telling you to fuck everything, but I do miss it. And I can tell my wife's getting kind of bummed out that I'm not fucking her anymore. Um, have you guys ever had that happen?

• 1:54:24Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:54:24Speaker 03

  Where your sex drive kinda goes away.

• 1:54:26Stavros Halkias?

  Literally not at all ever for one second.

• 1:54:28Speaker 03

  Have you always just been like, you know, I need to fuck everything all the time.

• 1:54:33Stavros Halkias?

  You're talking to a man who.

• 1:54:34Speaker 03

  Uh, I don't know what to do. Like, how do I make myself wanna fuck my hot wife again?

• 1:54:40Stavros Halkias?

  Clearly depressed.

• 1:54:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:41Speaker 03

  Love the show, guys. You're amazing.

• 1:54:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, this guy's so depressed. It's so funny that he's academically tried getting horny for other women and it doesn't work. If it's, it's not tea, you're talking about something psychological or biological. There's no way that this is like, you know, um, no, this has never happened to me.

• 1:55:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, it's not like it's like, there's a curse on him.

• 1:55:04Stavros Halkias?

  I've been so fat my cock doesn't work with dick pills and I've still tried to get pussy.

• 1:55:08Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:55:09Stavros Halkias?

  So it's, and I've really had some of the worst sex of all time.

• 1:55:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, I've been depressed and wanted to have sex less, but I just am kinda like, the moment starts, someone starts kissing me. I'm like, yeah, I'm fucking gay. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not gonna be like, no, like, I'm like, no, I'm always fucking down to Tom. Are we kidding?

• 1:55:26Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 1:55:27Speaker 02

  But, um, it is just depression.

• 1:55:30Stavros Halkias?

  I, this sounds like so clearly depressed.

• 1:55:32Speaker 02

  He said he's going back to the gym, right? Cause I feel like he's just gotta find ways that he can.

• 1:55:36Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you hear it in his voice.

• 1:55:38Speaker 02

  I know, you really can.

• 1:55:39Speaker 03

  Both lost a lot of weight.

• 1:55:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, but why are you losing the weight? Like, you know what I mean? Like, if you're just losing the weight to like, on paper, look better, it's like, now just start going to the, the gym to like, feel good.

• 1:55:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I will say that like, I wanna lose weight because I fucked my back up. And it's like, there is definitely, I do think we've gotten a little out of control in terms of fat being totally healthy, no matter what.

• 1:56:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:56:05Stavros Halkias?

  There's a little, in the community, there's a little too much of that going on.

• 1:56:07Speaker 02

  Or like, fat people are healthier, actually.

• 1:56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, that's not true either, right?

• 1:56:12Speaker 02

  No, they can go up a set of stairs slower because everything in their body works perfect.

• 1:56:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, so like, I get if you just wanna lose, especially in your mid thirties, like, I get wanting to lose weight for it. But the fact that that hasn't helped.

• 1:56:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Is a big problem, I think.

• 1:56:30Speaker 02

  Completely.

• 1:56:30Stavros Halkias?

  And I think the fact that you even have seen that you've gotten healthier and the fact that your cock is getting hard and you still don't wanna fuck.

• 1:56:37Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:56:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're looking at a hard cock and you're like, ah.

• 1:56:40Speaker 02

  No, that just means it's like, fully just your brain.

• 1:56:42Stavros Halkias?

  Fully your brain, bro. Cause I'm telling you, the desire to fuck can shine through.

• 1:56:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:56:48Stavros Halkias?

  You can be really fucking fat.

• 1:56:49Speaker 02

  It's a superpower. It's God's best gift to us.

• 1:56:52Stavros Halkias?

  The only biological impulse we have.

• 1:56:55Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:56:55Stavros Halkias?

  So you are broken on a fundamental level.

• 1:56:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:56:58Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if you can't, if you don't want to fuck, something's off.

• 1:57:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:03Stavros Halkias?

  And so, yeah, you gotta fucking go to the doctor.

• 1:57:05Speaker 02

  Honestly, the thing is though, like, you need to tell your wife.

• 1:57:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:08Speaker 02

  Because she's gonna like, if she's not already taking it personally.

• 1:57:13Stavros Halkias?

  She is for sure taking it.

• 1:57:14Speaker 02

  She's gonna start resenting you at some point if she doesn't frankly already.

• 1:57:18Stavros Halkias?

  And I would say, do your husbandly duties and dick her down with that annoyingly hard cock.

• 1:57:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think just also try.

• 1:57:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna have to fuck her, even if you don't want to, a couple of times.

• 1:57:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:57:28Stavros Halkias?

  And is that worse than cleaning out the gutters? Like, looking at it as a chore?

• 1:57:33Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:57:33Stavros Halkias?

  It's one of the best chores.

• 1:57:35Speaker 02

  Completely.

• 1:57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Even if you're not horny fucking your wife.

• 1:57:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:39Stavros Halkias?

  Pretty good chore.

• 1:57:39Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:57:40Stavros Halkias?

  This is where me and Al Bundy really don't see eye to eye.

• 1:57:42Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:57:43Stavros Halkias?

  Because he, he had a hot wife that I would have, and actually, Al Bundy's a great example.

• 1:57:47Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 1:57:47Stavros Halkias?

  He was so depressed and beaten down by what life, he didn't wanna fuck his horny wife.

• 1:57:52Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:57:52Stavros Halkias?

  Do you wanna be Al Bundy?

• 1:57:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:57:54Stavros Halkias?

  If you don't, go to the doctor, see why the fuck your cock, you don't wanna use your cock anymore.

• 1:57:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:59Stavros Halkias?

  Cause what you're describing frankly sickens me. You fucking make me sick.

• 1:58:07Speaker 02

  I wish I never heard your question.

• 1:58:09Stavros Halkias?

  Give us something fun to go out on here, Benjamin.

• 1:58:16Speaker 05

  Hi, Stavi and Eldis. Um, I'm just calling about your episode with Chris. You gave a young man advice to take his niece into the men's bathroom.

• 1:58:29Stavros Halkias?

  I did, pause this. I did hear that we gave people the wrong advice.

• 1:58:34Speaker 02

  What, what happened? Sorry.

• 1:58:36Stavros Halkias?

  So Chris DiStefano was on and somebody called, he was babysitting his niece and he was like worried about taking her into the like, men's bathroom to go to the, to bath, and to me, I was like, well, yeah, who cares? Just take the kid to the bathroom. Apparently, if you have a little girl, you're supposed, people DM'd the fuck out of me with this.

• 1:58:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:58:55Stavros Halkias?

  Where you're supposed to take, you're supposed to go into the men's or the women's room with a little girl.

• 1:59:01Speaker 02

  And just kind of alert the women's room.

• 1:59:03Stavros Halkias?

  And because like, you just don't want a little, a little kid looking at a bunch of guys' hogs.

• 1:59:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:59:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you know what I mean?

• 1:59:08Speaker 02

  I can see why you had that confusion.

• 1:59:10Stavros Halkias?

  I, to me, I was like, well, I gotta go to the bathroom, I'm taking the kid with me.

• 1:59:12Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:59:13Stavros Halkias?

  And it, to me, it feels so much more wrong for, for me to be in a woman's bathroom. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, well, they don't want me there.

• 1:59:21Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:59:22Stavros Halkias?

  So I would take the kid, but then I'm like, no. So anyway, let's, let's let her say it.

• 1:59:26Speaker 05

  Um, I think I can speak for every woman and mom and.

• 1:59:31Stavros Halkias?

  Alright.

• 1:59:31Speaker 05

  Tell you that that was a hundred percent the wrong advice. Um, I get where you're coming from, but.

• 1:59:38Speaker 02

  Laughing at me.

• 1:59:38Stavros Halkias?

  She's laughing. Honestly, it is good something to me.

• 1:59:41Speaker 02

  No, totally. She's not hot.

• 1:59:47Stavros Halkias?

  A husky voiced woman with knowledge.

• 1:59:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's like doing ASMR.

• 1:59:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:59:52Speaker 02

  You fucking idiot.

• 1:59:55Speaker 02

  Get over here.

• 1:59:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna pay.

• 1:59:58Speaker 02

  I'm taking you to the girls' room.

• 2:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're going to the girls' room and you're putting on a dress.

• 2:00:07Speaker 05

  Just a woman myself, no little girl needs to go into the men's bathroom.

• 2:00:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's fair.

• 2:00:12Speaker 05

  And see a dick out or.

• 2:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  And it's disgusting.

• 2:00:14Speaker 05

  Be around god knows what kind of fucking perverted men. So.

• 2:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think the men's room's like? We're in there fucking trying to assault each other. It's like a prison. Anyway, but I get it. I get it. It kind of is actually. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's disgusting in there. I shouldn't, a little girl shouldn't go there.

• 2:00:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:00:33Stavros Halkias?

  But a little boy, he must know what the world is.

• 2:00:35Speaker 02

  A little boy, it's just like, well, this is your life. So get used to it.

• 2:00:38Stavros Halkias?

  Get the tears out now.

• 2:00:40Speaker 02

  A little girl, it really is like, yeah, she does. She doesn't need to.

• 2:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  But also I do feel like so many places now have a like, family bathroom or, or one single stall.

• 2:00:50Speaker 02

  I mean, that's the first choice, of course.

• 2:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but if you have.

• 2:00:53Speaker 02

  But I guess if, yeah, if you are with some little girl for some reason.

• 2:00:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:57Speaker 02

  And she has to go to the bathroom, I guess you just go into the women's bathroom and just say, hey.

• 2:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  Knock, knock, coming in for not horny.

• 2:01:04Speaker 02

  Is that alright?

• 2:01:05Stavros Halkias?

  Fucked up reasons. You have to call no Weinstein and you go into the bathroom. And then you're like, I'm here for, to be a good person to this child.

• 2:01:14Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 2:01:15Stavros Halkias?

  And then, and then they're like, wow, he's a good, he's a good provider.

• 2:01:18Speaker 02

  No, for sure.

• 2:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, hey, hey ladies, stop trying to fuck me. I'm here.

• 2:01:21Speaker 02

  No, seriously.

• 2:01:22Stavros Halkias?

  I'm here for fucking.

• 2:01:22Speaker 02

  The only reason I'm on this earth is to have this little girl pee, right?

• 2:01:26Stavros Halkias?

  My little, my, my niece has to take a fat shit. I filled her up with kielbasa all morning and she's about to let it rip, gals.

• 2:01:35Speaker 02

  More.

• 2:01:35Stavros Halkias?

  That would be so funny if you're having, like, if you're having like a really wholesome moment and you take like a little kid, like a six year old. And she just fucking lights it up.

• 2:01:47Stavros Halkias?

  We just, we just added a third reason I want a child. Cause that would be so funny.

• 2:01:50Speaker 02

  No, I mean, a little kid like having kind of a crazy fart or something is so funny. Cause they come out at the same kind of volume and velocity as an adult.

• 2:02:02Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 2:02:02Speaker 02

  So epic.

• 2:02:03Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. It's awesome. Uh, so yeah, is she done? Is she done scolding me?

• 2:02:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:02:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, let's hear more.

• 2:02:09Speaker 05

  Ask any woman or female coming in or out of the women's bathroom and say, I have my niece or daughter. Is it okay if I come in and use the restroom? We are all happy to get you the all clear by checking with the women in the bathroom. Or if there's no one in the bathroom, in all the stalls, we can stand outside and let the women know, hey, there's a guy in there using the bathroom.

• 2:02:34Speaker 02

  He's creepy looking, so don't worry.

• 2:02:36Stavros Halkias?

  He looks fucked up, but he's, he's not gonna check out.

• 2:02:41Speaker 05

  Whatever. So, uh, just wanted to give that feedback.

• 2:02:46Stavros Halkias?

  Wear a toupee. If I go like this, hey, uh, my niece has to fucking shit, so I'm coming in, toots.

• 2:02:56Stavros Halkias?

  Dressed exactly like this.

• 2:02:59Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy, hey, put the pussies away. My little angel is coming in.

• 2:03:03Speaker 02

  Ew, I don't wanna see those pussies. Put them away. Perfs.

• 2:03:08Stavros Halkias?

  If you have a fucked up clam, put it away. If it's nice looking, you can leave it out.

• 2:03:18Speaker 02

  She's still going.

• 2:03:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's kinda it.

• 2:03:19Speaker 02

  That's kinda it, okay.

• 2:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, we get it. I'm a fucking idiot.

• 2:03:22Speaker 02

  No, I learned something too. I don't, I would have, it would have taken me a while to, to get to that conclusion, but it does seem very obvious now.

• 2:03:30Stavros Halkias?

  And I guess if we had to do the math here, it's like, little girl always in the women's room, little boy, I think it's dependent on who you're with.

• 2:03:37Speaker 02

  Agreed.

• 2:03:37Stavros Halkias?

  And then, yeah, I think that's how it goes.

• 2:03:39Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, boys just will have to learn.

• 2:03:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:03:42Speaker 02

  At one point.

• 2:03:42Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, absolutely. And that's fine. That's the cross we bear as the heads of the household.

• 2:03:47Speaker 02

  No, a hundred percent.

• 2:03:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know, when there's shit on.

• 2:03:50Speaker 02

  It's been an honor to be in a room with three guys, by the way. Oh my god. Girls dream of this shit.

• 2:03:59Speaker 02

  Wait, did I tell you that the last time I did your podcast, I got the most texts from straight guys that I've ever received in my entire life?

• 2:04:06Stavros Halkias?

  The way, the way, a lot of the time, what happens is, when the straight men in gay guys or girls' lives demand it enough.

• 2:04:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 2:04:17Stavros Halkias?

  They just text me like, hey, my cousin Brian won't leave me alone. Can I please do the podcast? That's sort of, when the straight men in like every queer person or woman's life reaches a critical mass and they just are demanding it. That's when, you know.

• 2:04:31Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 2:04:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's when you come on the Stavi's World, so.

• 2:04:34Speaker 02

  It was awesome. I was getting texts like, hey, it's Will, parentheses, Eliza's boyfriend.

• 2:04:40Speaker 02

  So fucking cool you were on Stavi's World. I was like, yeah.

• 2:04:44Stavros Halkias?

  This is a great way, if you're a woman who wants to be able to finally label the loose friends of boyfriends numbers you have on your phone. You will be able to do that if you come on.

• 2:04:54Speaker 02

  It was huge for me. It was really awesome.

• 2:04:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hopefully there's another round of that coming up.

• 2:05:00Speaker 02

  Please, guys.

• 2:05:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, hit up Grace if you're a straight man and saw, and enjoyed what she did on this episode. Um, thank you to, uh, Ben, the Hoss Man Hossley, coming in, stepping in for, as Eldis loomed over his shoulder.

• 2:05:15Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, I'm, I'm happy to step in as guest producer while Eldis is on paternity leave.

• 2:05:21Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 2:05:22Speaker 04

  So I'll be popping up in some other episodes.

• 2:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Ben will be here. Don't get used to professionalism.

• 2:05:26Speaker 02

  Who stepped in here.

• 2:05:27Stavros Halkias?

  He is our step, he is, yes, you are the father, the producer that stepped up.

• 2:05:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  He's not the step producer, he's the producer that stepped up.

• 2:05:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:05:36Speaker 04

  Doing my best, yeah.

• 2:05:36Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, thank you, Ben.

• 2:05:39Speaker 04

  Chinoza will be on for that episode.

• 2:05:43Speaker 02

  I do too, actually. Alright, I think we all do.

• 2:05:48Speaker 04

  But that was decent, that was decent.

• 2:05:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05:51Stavros Halkias?

  Guys, don't get used to.

• 2:05:52Speaker 02

  We definitely can't release the episode.

• 2:05:56Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to say everyone do not get used to the levels being appropriate. If you're seeing any kind of improvement.

• 2:06:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:06:03Stavros Halkias?

  This, I promise you, Eldis will not learn from it. I promise you that. But, uh, that's gonna do it for us. Grace, thank you for, for being.

• 2:06:10Speaker 02

  I literally love being here. I love you.

• 2:06:12Stavros Halkias?

  This is the best. You gotta come back.

• 2:06:13Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 2:06:14Stavros Halkias?

  We also have a, tons of, uh, our Patreon series have gotten so insane where we do one, we smoke weed, although you're not a weed guy.

• 2:06:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  We also do one where we have just, we really, we get in the cheek zone and we really get into deep philosophical questions and it's all.

• 2:06:31Speaker 02

  What'd you say, the cheek zone?

• 2:06:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, our, our friend Mr. Cheeks is our mystical guide through the cheek zone. So, you know, I think you'd be great in the cheek zone.

• 2:06:39Speaker 02

  Okay, got you. Wait, what does that mean?

• 2:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 2:06:43Speaker 02

  Okay, great.

• 2:06:43Stavros Halkias?

  You have to be thrown in there bewildered.

• 2:06:45Speaker 02

  Totally. I'm happy to throw as many zins in my mouth as you want and we can, I don't know, try and do some cardio.

• 2:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, show up with me at the fucking SoulCycle. Forget about it.

• 2:06:57Speaker 02

  Let's do it. Oh my god, that would double be a dream.

• 2:06:58Stavros Halkias?

  That would be fun, um, someday. Uh, that's gonna do it for us, folks. We will see you next time from the vault.