#184 - Sam Morril and Dave Attell

Sam Morril and Dave Attell join the podcast to discuss the new Stavvy Baby HQ, getting denied to be a Big Brother, the rise and ubiquity of OnlyFans, the hidden Mormon terrors of the Utah desert, John Travolta's beret, Greeks being stoked to see Woody Allen play jazz at the Acropolis, and much more. Sam, Dave and Stav help callers including a guy whose dream girl turned out to be a raging alcoholic, and a woman who's wondering if guys really mean it when they tell her that she gives awesome top. See Sam Morril live and follow him: https://punchup.live/sammorril https://www.sammorril.com/ https://www.instagram.com/sammorril/ https://twitter.com/sammorril https://www.youtube.com/user/smorril/ See Dave Attell live and follow him: https://daveattell.com/ https://www.facebook.com/daveattell https://x.com/attell https://www.instagram.com/daveattell https://www.youtube.com/@dave-attell Thanks to our sponsors!! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Chubbies - chubbiesshorts.com/stavvy use code STAVVY for 20% off Visible - https://www.visible.com/ ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Big day for us here at Stavi Baby HQ. We've got a new studio, folks. You're looking at it. That's right. And we have Sam Roland and a special guest. That's right, play his music. I wish we had WWE entrance music. Dave Attell, everybody.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me.

• 0:32Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks for being here, Dave. Sit down. Yeah, we just got, we're in Chelsea. Like we said, Eldis wanted to be near the men's spas. He wanted to be able to blow off some steam, just with the fellas.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  Sounds good. You and Robert Kraft, buddy.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  I'm just excited to wear Chelsea boots again. My closet's gonna be full of them pretty soon.

• 0:52Stavros Halkias?

  I love the idea that you're gonna start dressing with Chelsea boots and turtlenecks. Maybe like those fucking Quaker Oats hats like cool black guys wear.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  You're really gonna try that, aren't you?

• 1:01Speaker 01

  I got to walk here instead of go to Astoria. This is fucking amazing. It's a win all the way around.

• 1:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  And what I love is this kind of liquidation sale going on in here. Fantastic. Everything must go.

• 1:18Stavros Halkias?

  We literally went to a crate and, no, where were we? A West Elm outlet and got the cheapest rugs we could find.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  This looks more East Elm, if you ask me. As in Brooklyn.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  This looks like the shittiest Sultan's harem carpet. This is where he has his sex slaves from around the Middle East come through.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Erotic.

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to be a Sultan. I feel like I have the body type for it. I think if you give me a turban, big ruby up top.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  I see you more as like a lazy warlord. You know what I'm saying? We don't have to do that today.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Son of warlord vibes.

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  A nepo, a nepo warlord.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like that.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  He didn't earn it.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, my, look, I, I can slaughter like my dad, I'm just busy right now. I can, you know, we can line up our religious minorities and put them in camps. I just, I just wanna, you know, smoke a hashish and then get, then get two, uh, big titted Iranian women to rub my belly and feed me kebabs.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Sounds like a good life, dude.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not a bad life. I think it was bad for everybody they had control over.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 2:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I think that's what it is.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  But the warlord is pretty nice.

• 2:25Stavros Halkias?

  But the warlord's not bad.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:26Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, the Afghani warlords, they were up to some, some Epstein style activities, but, but.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Tell me about it. Not as nice a, a resort destination afterwards, I don't think. That island, someone's gonna buy it for big money at some point.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  But what I think is the best is how you repurposed all this dentist equipment. It's a sound. What, am I get, am I getting an X-ray here to have a, a molar that needs?

• 2:51Stavros Halkias?

  I just don't want you to have to hold the mic up, Dave. You know, I want that brain ready to riff.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Hey, no one could see it.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  It's fine.

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  And the backdrop, that's fantastic.

• 2:59Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, thank you. We're gonna paint a real mural, but for now, we've got.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  No, let the kids do it. They always pick a fun topic.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  You can be a big brother and just bring the kids in here and start preaching, dude.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Get out that anger up on that wall.

• 3:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, do to that wall what you wanna do to the police.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:18Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that's a smart loophole, Sam.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  I like it.

• 3:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get some child, some child labor.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  I tried to back in the day, I got turned down.

• 3:24Stavros Halkias?

  You got, is that real? I know you had that joke.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  I did a joke, I really got turned down.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  You wanted to be a big brother and they're like, we're good?

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. I auditioned and they said no. There were a lot of people trying to get in. A lot of, you're scoring points. You feel like a good person, you go there, but. Yeah, but I, I would've done it.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Well, let's say you were a big brother, okay? Instead of, um, you know, as myself, a curious uncle.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  I, I was wondering if you, uh, where would you take your, your, your little brother? Where would, what would you do with?

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  The curious uncle program, by the way, getting shut down fast. Big brothers, little brothers.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Curious uncles, what are we doing in there?

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  Curious.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Need some company?

• 4:01Stavros Halkias?

  Curious uncles, terrified nephews.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I'd take him all over. I'd take my place when it needs a good vacuum. You'd use him as help.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, we'll do, we'll train jujitsu.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  I'd use him as a PA.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uncle Dave's Jujitsu Academy, completely uncredited.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Only, a lot of touching, only rolling, just rolling, a lot of floor work.

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  Let's start on the mat, boys. Today, we're starting on the mat, fellas.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  That's not what it looks like. I was teaching him a rear naked choke.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  Take off those pesky geez. They're only getting in the way.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  What a good time, but I really can't take my eye off of that, um, un-union, uh, electrical grid plug that you have on the wall there. Way to.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Way to, this is a squatting situation. Is that what it is?

• 4:48Stavros Halkias?

  We have a, a long extension cord coming from, from a T-bank across the street.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  This is wild.

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  We took a guy off life support two weeks ago. Nobody's noticed, so we're lucky, yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  This is crazy, dude.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm pretty excited. And I will, I want to turn it into basically his apartment in big. You know, I want to get like a, a, an arcade game.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be cool.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get, you know, maybe Time Crisis, the classics.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 5:14Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Guns, the Terminator one.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Papa shot Mario Kart.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  Papa shot a Mario Kart. Were you ever in an arcade, were you ever, you guys ever play arcades?

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Well, yeah. No, I dated women. Yeah. No, I was just at Foxwood and they have that huge arcade down there and my opener was like, oh, do you want to come to the arcade? I'm like, I'm not, no. But yeah, the arcade games, like, you know, there's some serious prizes now, so when we were a kid, it was really just bragging rights.

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever fuck up, what, what was, what were the fucking arcades? I feel like arcades were a social place back in the day.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:47Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever go, did you ever get in there? Did you ever, did you ever win the, uh, anything from playing like, uh, you know, Dig Dug or whatever the fuck?

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Spend four thousand dollars, you win a stuffed Beanie Baby. It, it never worked out financially, but, uh, you know, they'd have like, uh, the saddest part is when you're cashing the tickets and you're down to like candy.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. The vampire teeth, you're like, fuck.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Damn it.

• 6:08Stavros Halkias?

  All I can get is these shitty vampire teeth and a yo-yo that works twice.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  And one big Sour Patch Kid.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  A priest sucked on shower basket. You get a lot of bang for your buck.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  No, it was, I mean, yeah, I love the, all the time crisis and fucking, God, what was it? Halo, that was, that's a pretty cool one.

• 6:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  So you guys wouldn't play, you wouldn't play like the real arcade games? You would just play?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Like snowball or something? What do you do?

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, like, uh, whatever, all those hitting and whack-a-moing and all that kinda stuff.

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  Classic. You know what? That would be fun. I'd just run a carnival in here.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Well, I have a game I'm working on. I'd love for you guys to, I wanna feel it out.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get it.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Sam was there 10, 15 years ago when I first started it.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  I was on the ground floor.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  He really was, yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Back when Gilbert Gottfried was doing The Voice.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Oh my God, yeah, slowly everyone a part of it is.

• 6:55Stavros Halkias?

  Is something changed?

• 6:56Speaker 01

  What?

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  Can you get him to do it? You think he'll do it?

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I have to do it. I mean, it's like at that point now, it's either like, you know, pull the trigger already. Here's another idea for the room here since, uh, is you see these like placards over here? You can put all of your albums and whatnot up there, like, you know, like, uh,

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Uh, YouTube sensation. Hundred billion views.

• 7:17Stavros Halkias?

  All my credits, just screenshots of TikToks that went viral. Other people used to put, them shaking hands with Johnny Carson. I'm like, Druski retweeted me once.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  You standing in front of Gotham? You know, hey, look at this, I made it.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Matt Rife liked this tweet over here, so.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  And I would like to say Druski has never retweeted me, but he did like one thing once.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 7:40Stavros Halkias?

  It was early on, I don't remember what it was.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 7:43Stavros Halkias?

  But he followed me on TikTok, or no, he liked it on TikTok and I followed him and never, we never rekindled our.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  I didn't, I'm, I've been on TikTok like four times and I, I had a guy running it and then, uh, I'm seeing a girl and she's like, this guy DM me on TikTok, I was like, TikTok DMs?

• 7:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, you're like, hmm.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  It's a whole nother thing.

• 8:00Stavros Halkias?

  Start to log back in?

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  I would, it has, TikTok has done a real damage to people, no one. Up until, you know, this is good, this is generational. How many insanely hot women did you see in a week when you were seventeen, Dave?

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a great, you know, that's an amazing question.

• 8:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cause like, you know, you probably just had the one hot girl at like the bakery that worked there.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  Whereas now, I get to, I see, you watch like some mixes you didn't even know existed. A big titted Peruvian.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Tell you broke your arm, dude.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, yeah, like shit that like would would explode. My great grandfather from Greece would have killed his family to like sniff that woman's panties. There are women so hot on TikTok now that it probably is causing psychosis in people.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  And how are you gonna stay with your what? You know what I mean? Even same thing with women too. We had a call about a, in a future episode, an old woman thought Keanu Reeves was really talking to her. And it's like, people are going crazy on both sides here, but TikTok has done real damage to what men think a woman looks like. Cause you see the hottest woman from every country, every city, you could see her on TikTok now.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that really is like when it was so local, you know, like the cheerleading team.

• 9:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  You know, the one, you know, the girl in math class, something like that.

• 9:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you caught a little glimpse of a girl in math class's panties. You're like, nice.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  I'm this, I'm good for a week off this. Now these kids have to, the shit they're seeing is nuts.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  So international too.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I remember I went with her once and she just like, I didn't know why she had so many followers. Like, hey, why do you have so many followers on Instagram? She's like, I swung my tits once on there.

• 9:38Stavros Halkias?

  She went viral. So she's like, yeah, I got to quit my, my waitressing job. And I just like, and she wasn't like nude. She was just swinging and dudes were like, yes, I'm in. That's brilliant, man.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Now she's doing advertise, it's crazy.

• 9:51Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:52Stavros Halkias?

  Just a big set of cans might be the best thing you can have.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Is the money still there though for these? Is it really that it's like, it's a crazy world, right?

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  I think if you're shrewd.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  If you have an internet following and then you're like, I get an, like, uh, you know, who's doing it? Like Shannon Elizabeth just did OnlyFans. Like these, and good for them.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Someone else do Jamie Presley.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  Jamie Presley, these are women who people.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Guys grew up with, yeah, they wanted to.

• 10:15Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  And they're making more money than they did in the movies.

• 10:17Stavros Halkias?

  You know what's funny? They're. Shining in on the, that's their like Fuller house.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:22Stavros Halkias?

  Now, now the nostalgia OnlyFans have started dude where it's like, I've always wanted to see those tits. I remember jacking off to this scene from American Pie with dial up internet. I wonder what Shannon Elizabeth is up to now.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Candace Pammon would be there too if she didn't marry a hockey player.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's right, that's right.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  She secured the bag.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  Smart, smart, smart, smart.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  The other one's on meth though, I thought, right?

• 10:44Stavros Halkias?

  Which one?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  One of the other, not the Olsen twins, the other sister.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, there's another.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  The third sister on Full House.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Kimmy.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  I think she's sober.

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  Kimmy Gibbler?

• 10:53Speaker 01

  No, not her. The other, the other sister.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, I don't know if she's, oh, she's about Christian, I think.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Jodie Sweetin?

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Struggled with a crystal meth addiction in her early twenties.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough, meth is a tough one. Lose your teeth.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:09Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, but let's face it, that separates you from the pack on OnlyFans.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  I have some dental issues myself, maybe I can see them as a role model.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  He's seeming in a, uh, grapping these women.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Look, there's a market for this, man. Yeah, it's called applesauce. Let's see you guzzle that down, you toothless piece of shit.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, you got a whole roster, like I need an amputee, I need a toothless woman.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Finally a woman, finally a woman I can take out for a bowl of soup.

• 11:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you could watch her get implant, like you could be along for the ride as she gets her teeth back.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  You pay every, you know, every time you like pay for a custom where.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  A rack and a grill, that's what we'll call it.

• 11:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's right, that's right.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  It is weird seeing all the women we grew up on though, just kind of being like, yeah, I'm gonna do this and I don't know what they take, what percentage OnlyFans takes.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  Not that much.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  I bet you they take at least thirty percent.

• 12:06Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 12:06Speaker 01

  They'd have to, right?

• 12:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's gotta be something crazy.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  Well, didn't that guy just pass the head of OnlyFans? Yeah, so that must have been a crazy funeral.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Let's take a look at it. We all poured one out for him. Twerking out on the coffin.

• 12:18Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty percent, okay.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  That's it? That's not horrible, that's, that's pretty good.

• 12:23Stavros Halkias?

  Patreon's, I think, ten, eldest? This is good, for all our female listeners with huge tits who have always had these questions, we're here to help you out. You, I think, I feel like you would have been a big OnlyFans because you, Dave, we have Dave's little porn.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're a, you're a enjoyer of the, the sex work, uh, sex workers. You like their work.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  It's a tribute, yeah, a tribute. And I love that retro stuff. And it's funny how a lot of them have gone back into it. Like, you know, they've gone back into it and, you know, let's face it, I'm in my sixties, they're like, they're a little older. So they just went back into the game, you know, I don't, you know, baseball, I mean, do they still have the pitch? Do they still have the arm? I don't know.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  It's like Indiana Jones, man, one last crusade.

• 13:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true, these.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  She's out with a knee injury. She won't be.

• 13:09Stavros Halkias?

  These girls that used to pitch 99 miles an hour, they're like, alright, I can be a knuckleballer now.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:13Stavros Halkias?

  I can adjust my game.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  But they're going hard. I'm seeing like, you know, a lot of interracial, interracial three ways and all that kind of stuff. So they jumped in like right where the world is, so.

• 13:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. That's nice. You, you, you wouldn't, you wouldn't want your old favorites to be, you know.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's nice when they're, they're, they're woke when it comes to porn.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  The world's changing now.

• 13:32Stavros Halkias?

  The world's changing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  But then they have to like, they probably bore up the set with the old stories like, in my day, the price of lube. Oh my god, a butt plug.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  She's coming out of the trailer with a walker.

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. We used to use olive oil. We used to shoot porn in the back of a Greek restaurant. We just used olive oil for lube.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  We actually liked each other. We were, we were just excited.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Were you always a Bush guy, Dave?

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Um, what?

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Not in front of the, not in front of the boys, that's you.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, uh.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Were you always a Bush guy?

• 14:06Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm like anybody else now. Everybody likes a nice trim, but still like, I, I remember as a boy just seeing like at a beach or something like that, like just a monster, a tarantula coming at me and I was like, what is that? You know, but yeah, that's, that's something that, you know, some guys either go all in or they're like, I don't know. But it seems like everyone lasered their way out of this problem.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  I think Bush is back.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think Bush is back and I think.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Are you saying that as a Greek?

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm not, I mean, listen, you're talking to a guy who did.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  I mean, that was your flag, isn't it?

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, the Greek flag. The Greek flag is just, it's a, it's, it's, it's had a girl's peeps coming out of her like khakis.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:40Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, on her shift at a diner. Uh, but no, I think, uh, listen, as a man who, I broke my arm, I hurt my back, I spent a lot more time on the internet than I, than I was doing. So I was, I was on Twitter for the first time. I'm seeing a lot of like. Bush cleavage these days. Wow. Where it's just a little tasteful, you know what I mean? A little tasteful hint and I really enjoy that.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  That's not bad.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  It's crazy that you just see porn on Twitter.

• 15:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  They don't like on Instagram, they have to dial it back. But I'll be in the grocery store because I mostly follow comedians. And then out of nowhere, you just see someone sucking cock and you're like, I don't need to see this in line.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  This is crazy.

• 15:14Stavros Halkias?

  There should be grocery store mode on Twitter. Where you're like, please don't show me any bukkies right now. I'm getting, I'm getting prosciutto.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  It's, it's jarring to see that in public in daytime.

• 15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely, dude. No, it's.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  I have a question, I'm sorry. Uh, so you broke your back?

• 15:33Stavros Halkias?

  I, I have a slipped, I have a pinched nerve in my lower, like one of this, I don't know which.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  So were you like, um, what, what is it called? Like we use, uh, like, did you have to stay still and do it?

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  I could.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  Cause I would love to see you watch porn upside down in that mirror. As your helper monkey is like, you know, hitting the button. Not that one, that one.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Just upside down like, oh man, I can't wait till I can.

• 15:57Stavros Halkias?

  MILF Alfonso, the MILF section Alfonso, come on. Um, no, but.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  That could be our TikTok jerk off in a neck brace. Honestly, we could take this city by storm.

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know what's funny? They, I literally, the back, I figured I had to jack off regular because I was laid up and I could hold my phone. But the first two weeks of the broken arm, I had to sit my phone on a surface, stand up and jack off standing up. I'm like at my kitchen counter being off.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  You had to buy a ring light just to rub one out? Damn.

• 16:26Stavros Halkias?

  I should have bought one of those things they put harmonicas in. And just put it and put my fucking, put my phone on top and it just jacked off to it.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  You jerk off like you're doing a self tape, unfortunately.

• 16:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right. I should have got my self tape rig and just fucking flipped it and watched pornography.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  Did you like use the thing as like a, like a calendar? Like every time you launch the load, you put another, is that how many days till you get it off? Yeah. You know, paid Manny looking at this.

• 16:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm calling plays. No, but I did, I did get to the point where I was resting my phone and jacking off like this.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Oh, that's great. That is crazy. Even in the shower, you put it under the garbage bag?

• 17:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  I made some bad choices.

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  You know what, those QB things would be good to just put a phone in and keep to jack off to.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're like Iron Man.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  I smell a shark tank. Let's do it. Come on, little man, we're going. Baby Zeus.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Both for women masturbate too, this could work.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  This works for broads too, Barbara. You can flick that dusty hole to using this, you know it.

• 17:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I would love to pitch Mr. Wonderful on my jack off machine.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Man, how good was that guy in that Marty Supreme?

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god, he was incredible.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  How the hell did he play a bad person?

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, how did he play a piece of shit getting cucked convincingly?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  That is good acting.

• 17:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's why the safeties are fucking like, well, Josh, obviously, but Jen Vendetti, the casting director, she's a genius because she just finds, like she can't, in the movie I was in, they felt like Aiden, who plays Jesse Plemons, like there's an autistic character and they found, Aiden Delbus, he did an incre- he was fucking 90, like, and they found the perfect kid for this. They're so good at finding people whose real life experiences match up. And yeah, it was, it pissed me off when he was good because I hate him, but you know, he did a great job and that's all you need from that movie.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  And was that a, was that a real story? Like, what was that?

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  Marty Supreme?

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, was that based on something?

• 18:21Speaker 03

  It was very loosely.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  Ping ponger guy, but.

• 18:23Stavros Halkias?

  Very loosely based on some guy named Marty, it was Marty something else, I think, but he was called The Needle or something.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Fun movie.

• 18:30Stavros Halkias?

  I love that movie.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:31Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yeah, it's about a fucking dumb, it's about a dumbass who thinks his talent in a niche thing is worth destroying every relationship he's ever had.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  I related to quite a bit.

• 18:41Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, dude, every comedian, I'm like, oh yeah. I remember mistreating a woman because I thought my gift for dick jokes was more important than having a real relationship.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Because my love is ping pong. Everybody had that moment.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  I remember in Whiplash, the scene where he's like, I can't be in a relationship, I'm a drummer. I'm like, this is speaking to me right now.

• 18:56Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I did that and I was the worst open mic'er you've ever seen in your life. I was like, we gotta break up, I gotta do this joke about not being able to wipe my own ass because I'm too fat.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  Sorry babe, this is my art.

• 19:11Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yes.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  But that's everyone now. It's not just like ping pong. It's like literally some guy who's like, "I'm a food reviewer. I eat sandwiches in my car. I can't have a woman dragging me down."

• 19:20Speaker 01

  No one understands me.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, everyone's got a calling now.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  You're trying to get a fucking froyo now. Like eight people mic'd up in there.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  You know, everyone's there to just review it.

• 19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Come with me to the secret, the most, yeah, it's like...

• 19:32Speaker 03

  I don't think it's a secret. The line's around the block.

• 19:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  That's the thing. That's the new New York where people will wait online for like a bagel, you know?

• 19:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's insane.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  They'll wait online for anything in this town except like voting. I can't get out there. Well, mail it to you. No, I'm not doing it.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, me and all these fucking froyo places are like a bouncer. They're like, "I'm sorry, not tonight, dude."

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Did you see that Swatch thing that's going on right now? The mobs there? I saw that. Like, I was like, "What is this about?"

• 19:57Speaker 03

  I loved that it was a piece of shit pocket watch.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  I love that people camped out for a week and they're like, "It's a pocket watch."

• 20:02Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know. I mean, it is funny though, because what that was was Audemars, whatever, that fucking watch company that's expensive as fuck. Is there any more sign that we're fucked and nobody has any money? Where luxury brands are like, "Uh, now we're doing one with Swatch." It's like, we're so fucked, dude. There's gonna be such a crazy fucking economic collapse.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, but everybody seems to want to do something now. Like, so where's the... They're just, everyone's living on credit, I guess. Is that what it is?

• 20:30Stavros Halkias?

  No, we're coming for something. It's, you know, it's a big problem when the only industry that makes any money is podcasting.

• 20:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, and the OnlyFans.

• 20:38Stavros Halkias?

  And OnlyFans, you're right, you're right. What if we went to both? How much would it cost to show your cock on, on camera?

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Jeez. A good lunch.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  A place to stay.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  You wait online for one of those...

• 20:56Speaker 03

  It's really just sharing. You're sharing too much.

• 20:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  If you overshare, people are like, but then like, you have nowhere to go.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  I think you're not giving the ladies enough credit, because they're selling like a fantasy. It's not just like, "All right, here they are. Goodbye."

• 21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, no, you're right.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  It's like this kind of enticing thing. I don't think any of us have that, you know, that...

• 21:12Speaker 03

  And also, there's nowhere else to go.

• 21:14Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Like, when I saw Dre de Mateo, it's like, there's not gonna be another Sopranos. You were on the best show ever.

• 21:19Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  Why not?

• 21:21Stavros Halkias?

  But I like Dave's point. Dave is a real pornography connoisseur. You can tell.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  You can say it.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Well, Dave's old. You dedicated your life.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  I see them, you know, like.

• 21:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. To like, but what you said, the eroticism, the fantasy, you're right. We could never.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:36Stavros Halkias?

  We could never set the mood. We just be like, here's my fucking little ass dick. Beat off to it if you like.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Speak for yourself, dude. There are women who are in your shoulder hair.

• 21:45Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? I could do a fantasy if it's like your boss is sexually harassing you. If you're into that kind of role play, I'll put on a suit set from JCPenney and be like, so Barbara, you've been coming in late the last, you know what I mean? I could do that. I could do scum. If you're attracted to scumbag, you know, situation.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  I could do slumlord porn.

• 22:03Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude. Where's rent, dude?

• 22:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, you want heat? Hmm. Did you check the weather? It's gonna be a real cold snap. Be a real shame if those thermostats don't get fixed. I wonder if we could do anything to speed that up. Zip.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Well, when you guys go on the road, do you ever like go out late to like a strip club anymore, any of that kind of stuff?

• 22:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm back in.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Way back in the day, maybe, but.

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  Something has happened where I'm interested. We filmed this. Well, I don't know if I should tell this. There was, anyway, I was in a simulated strip club environment for a project. And the girls were so, and I hadn't been to a strip club in a while. And, you know, you're filming something, you're filming the same scene all fucking day. So I'm just around strippers all day. They're so hot. They're fun to talk to.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and I was like, fuck, this is awesome. I gotta get back into this. But now I'm afraid I'm turning into like, I don't know.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  You might have to cut that hair if you're gonna be a strip club guy. You're gonna look too much like a type, dude. No, because we're the ones who really lose to the OnlyFans AI world. It's like that in person, they don't, it's not like, you know, like us where it's like, thanks for coming. Seen it live and supporting the strip club world.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. You know what? I bet you, because back in the day, I feel like porn stars did used to literally do that where their podcasts were porno videos. Then they'd go to like.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  They go around, yeah, they tour.

• 23:29Stavros Halkias?

  So you know what? Hopefully that's helping.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Comics used to do, remember Leno talked about doing stand up in strip clubs back in the day?

• 23:34Stavros Halkias?

  I'd love to. That would be fun as shit.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  I don't think that's a good, it's a good set.

• 23:39Speaker 01

  If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen in Austin. That's our all new idea start. Burlesque naked stripping.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Tony's boner.

• 23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Show him a woman's pussy.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  That Austin is 10 years ahead of us.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  I'm doing a set at the Mother Tits right after this.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Give me a good one.

• 24:05Stavros Halkias?

  The Mother Tits? Yeah, the be, the center of innovation. I love that shit. No, but I, you're right. There is, that's true. It is like now we can spin it as an act of defiance against the computers. It's like, I'm not jacking off online. I'm looking at these tits I R L. And don't, and why are you arresting me, officer? I was jacking off here to stop A I. I'm a freedom fighter.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm thinking about getting back into going to, if we're going to Portland.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  I was thinking you should own one, like you should start one.

• 24:37Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  That would be great.

• 24:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my God, a strip club with, and it's a strip club with good food. The way Atlanta has the wing, Magic City.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Lemon pepper Lou wings.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, what if I do a restaurant, a Greek, a Greek restaurant strip club? The Parthenon?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Oh, that would be so great.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  I mean, it's not a horrible idea.

• 24:57Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck dude.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  I don't know if Greek food really translates to.

• 24:59Stavros Halkias?

  Skewers? What do you want? Handheld skewers? You could, you could use one hand, you still grab tits with the other or jack yourself? Yeah, nobody jack off at these, by the way.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  But that would be great if it's all like your old relatives as the waiters and the girls up there. It's like, you can get a substitution.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  You wanna bake potato with that or not?

• 25:19Stavros Halkias?

  Not all mothers today. Look at pussy, only have sandwiches. We have sandwiches and we have pussy, whatever you want.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  are cutting into my bottom line.

• 25:30Stavros Halkias?

  Dip my horse, please. Uncle Alex, you can't call them horse, man.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  What's the strip club like capital in America? I know Tampa's big.

• 25:37Stavros Halkias?

  Portland and Tampa, I would say.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Portland is huge, yeah.

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  And that's my style of stripper too in Portland.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Little armpit hair?

• 25:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  You like that?

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Just, you got a lot of different types. Tampa's a little too, you know, that's a great one too. It's a different flavor. It's like real fake tits, you know, big fake lips, just like.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Real fake tits, that's where we're at.

• 25:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The good, the big ones.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 25:59Stavros Halkias?

  Not the ones that are trying to trick you into being regular tits.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  Tampa's, Tampa's awesome, dude. I love Tampa.

• 26:04Stavros Halkias?

  I, that's a weird, I haven't heard that sentence.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  I taped my last special there. I love it. I, good crowds, man. They're, they're wild.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  They are good.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  You can't offend people from Tampa.

• 26:13Stavros Halkias?

  True, that is true.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  There's something beautiful about that.

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it is a, I think a lot of people move there from, fuck it, like from here.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:19Stavros Halkias?

  So you get a little.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Long Island.

• 26:20Stavros Halkias?

  You get that Long Island vibe.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:22Stavros Halkias?

  Were you ever a beach guy? I know you, you were a Long Island guy.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:25Stavros Halkias?

  I love the idea of you as a youth sunbathing, Dave.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. No, we would go to the, our, our beach, you know, like, oh, man, it was a lot of work, but, uh, you know, the one thing is I just did, uh, Ryan, uh, I'm gonna say his name, Ryan Reese's, uh, show out in Long Beach. And that was great, man.

• 26:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  They have like a club there. You guys would crush it there.

• 26:44Stavros Halkias?

  I love it, yeah, yeah.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  It's like a little community, you know, it's like one of those like little like beach towns. So, um, you know, that was fun. And, uh, the whole island, I mean, there were so many comics out there. Recently passed that guy John Mulrooney way before you guys time, but he was, he was the guy out there and like, uh, honestly, like a big road for those guys would have been like, hey, I'm playing Virginia, you know.

• 27:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  You might never see me again.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  I'm gonna bring back cigarettes and fireworks.

• 27:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm crossing the Mason Dixon line.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. That was the road, you know? I'm going up to Boston, you know, man.

• 27:19Stavros Halkias?

  The road is anywhere that's not the, you know, it's like the first half of the original 13 colonies.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  The rest was.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  I'm at Myrtle Beach. That was like a, I went to a strip club there. That was wild. Yeah, that's a, that's another like, it's like AC.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  I don't think you're giving the heartland enough credit.

• 27:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

• 27:37Speaker 01

  There's something about Oklahoma.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  Really?

• 27:42Stavros Halkias?

  Those girls want it more, you know, they gotta get out. They gotta get out of OKC.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Well, when you guys played Salt Lake, right? It's like some of the most beautiful women in the world there, you know, like, just like the jeans or whatever, you know, it's getting racial, but.

• 27:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Dave's coming out as a Mormon supremacist.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  No, but Jews.

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  He's a Jewish Mormon supremacist.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, but Jews love that look. Like, it's like that.

• 28:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, really?

• 28:06Speaker 01

  I know what you're talking about. As a Jew. It is.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's hilarious.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like, this would crush my mother.

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's your version of David Black Guy?

• 28:15Speaker 01

  I was talking about the.

• 28:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a blonde, an Aryan.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  It is. I was talking about the new Mormons from Guam. That's what I was talking about. The ones who can, the ones who can take a hip, take a check.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  Well, Salt Lake, it's like, it's your this or your that. You either look like fucking Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock, or like you're one of the Sex Pistols.

• 28:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  There's no middle, man. Cause they're all like, you know, before Mormon or they were Mormon.

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Or they, or they rebel hard.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Hard.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Jack Mormon, you call it?

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:44Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, I've never, it's always freaks me out too, cause it just feels like there's something sinister going on there.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Oh, no, actually, that's a power town, man. Like, uh, I was talking to a guy there and they have all this construction. I go, what's going on in town? Like, what's, what's the problem? And they're like, we don't have enough water for all the great shit we wanna do here.

• 29:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I'm like, well, you should find a shittier town and like, there will be blood. Take their water out of them.

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  I drink your water.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Well, you, you drive them to Salt Lake to like, say like Vernal, you go to like oil town there. That drive, look off the highway. It's fucking true detective land. Like, well, tense, meth, it's fucking crazy.

• 29:19Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, how many, how many, uh, disobedient fourth and fifth wives are buried in that fucking desert? How many fucking, how many women that couldn't really listen to what John Smith told, or what was it? What's his name?

• 29:31Speaker 01

  That's John, John Smith.

• 29:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, John Smith is Pocah, is the guy who raped Pocahontas, right?

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Joseph Smith.

• 29:37Stavros Halkias?

  Joseph Smith, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  Listen, homeschool.

• 29:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's what my dad told me anyway.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  No, I remember like. How pumped were they when Scientology came along? They were like, finally, a dumber religion.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  A newer, stupider one. Dude, it's so funny that that guy was just like, yeah, God told me, uh, he actually gave me the new 10 commandments. I'm just some fucking guy. And yeah, he talked to me because the funniest thing about Mormonism was that like, he found some random Egyptian like hieroglyphs. And he was like, I'm the only one who can read these. God told me to do this, this, and then like, you know, 40 years later, when you know, somebody looked at those, they got the technology to translate them. No, completely not that, you know what I mean? He was just.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, but by then the damage was done, dude.

• 30:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, look up that Egyptian thing. I want to make sure I got that right. Again, that could be more homeschool, more Baltimore homeschooling. This episode is brought to you by Visible, the smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

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• 31:13Speaker 04

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• 31:55Speaker 04

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• 31:59Speaker 01

  So you're going on the road not to Utah, I assume?

• 32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Not going to Utah.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  After that fatwa you just laid out.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  Solely crowds. A couple of fucking people's religion there. I love Utah.

• 32:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I do. It is, but it just is so, I mean Scientology is another one. It's like, how the fuck do you guys think this shit is fucking real?

• 32:19Speaker 03

  It's popping up everywhere. I just walked by one. It's like, just between us.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Just us. Although I will say, John, did you ever see John Travolta pop that beret out? He was in Cannes and he had a fucking hilarious like Dominican beard. It looked like filled in black and he was wearing a white beret. He looked awesome, dude. He looked so good.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  He's gone through some looks, for sure.

• 32:40Stavros Halkias?

  I'm ready for the Travolta Renaissance, dude.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  He just, his movie, he directed a movie. I can't wait to, it's gonna be weird as fuck. You ever see that movie he did with Fred Dur, Fred Durst directed a John Travolta movie?

• 32:50Speaker 03

  I saw clips.

• 32:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's incredible.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  That was the collab we were all waiting for. Limp Bizkit and Saturday Night Fever. Bam.

• 32:57Stavros Halkias?

  I remember when I watched Grease and then I listened to Hot Dog and Chocolate. What was it? Starfish Chocolate Hot Dog Water? Yeah, I was, when I listened to those two together, I was like, now what we need to do is a melding of these two minds.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  We need Travolta to come in and save him. Tarantino saved Travolta like one last time.

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that would be fun.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Cause he's so fucking good in the right thing, but he's never in the right thing.

• 33:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, except that beret. Look at that picture. He looks, he looks great.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  It was fucking weird. Very Carlos Boozer with the fucking spray and shit. You're like, oof.

• 33:29Stavros Halkias?

  The shoe polish, yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, guys. I tuned out after you made fun of my religion.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  What, uh? You're a recent convert, Dave?

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 33:38Stavros Halkias?

  How are your seating levels?

• 33:39Speaker 03

  But didn't you grow up Greek Orthodox?

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  I did, but.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  My god.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  But that's the thing. The thing about Greek people.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  That's cool, though. For Jews, we love all that. The smoke and all that. I love that stuff. They did the Jewish Greek parade yesterday.

• 33:49Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, damn.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  There's a Jewish. It's like crazy food crossover stuff.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  It's kinda cool.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  That seems right up my alley.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  That must've gone on for like five blocks. We get it. We get it. We get it. We're hairy. We're out of here. We're done.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  I wouldn't like to see, yeah, what comes out of that, just like the fucking, the, that's like, that's how you breed the worst landlord ever.

• 34:14Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking breed.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Just wear a shirt.

• 34:16Stavros Halkias?

  Jews and Greeks together, that's how you get.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  That's a great one.

• 34:21Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, he say, I look it no fix, he say it good, you don't need to hit right now. Uh, my friend Valandi, he look, he say no problem, you okay? Yeah, that's the dream dude, to be a Greek, a Greek slumlord someday. We'll get there. First we do the strip club, then we do the.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  Dude, you got a big studio here, you, you rent out one of those rooms in the back? Oh, easily.

• 34:42Stavros Halkias?

  We get like, we do bunk beds and you get a bunch of Chinese guys in here.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  You're playing big bug hunter, they're like, please, I'm trying to sleep, Mr. Stavros, please.

• 34:53Stavros Halkias?

  Shut the fuck up, I'm watching Heat with my friends and playing big bug hunter at my office.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  I fucking watched Heat yesterday.

• 35:00Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  It's such a dude movie.

• 35:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's so good.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  So good.

• 35:03Stavros Halkias?

  Literally somebody asked me like my desert island movies and I, and I talked to a woman about Heat for forty-five minutes uninterrupted until she lost interest in me.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  I made a woman watch it yesterday and she was like, this is brutal.

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, well, she's gotta go.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  She liked it, but she's like, it's too violent, they don't like, uh, there's like studies that women don't like, like the cortisol or some shows, something about this, they hate, they can do horror, but they can't do fucking.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right. They don't like to see revenge. You know, they don't like to see, but also Heat's awesome because it's literally a love story between Pacino and De Niro. It's like, uh, those guys are clearly in love with each other.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they're treating the women like shit.

• 35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the women are just there.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  They're just there and they're like, I gotta deal with this guy and they're like, we'll give you our pussy, we'll be with you forever and they're like, I'd rather.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  I love you, I wanna raise my child with you, he's like, nah, I have to stop a criminal.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  I have to shoot another guy and ruin my one chance at love.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful movie though.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no one ends up with one.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  That's like another fantasy, fantasy of the super criminal, you know what I'm saying? As compared to what we see, it's like you, your cousins and your, everybody you know, we're gonna just go into a jewelry store and just smash a bunch of shit.

• 36:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:07Speaker 01

  There's no, there's no board, no planning or anything like that, it's just like, hey, you, you wanna, you want some of this, cot? Okay, good, you got some, okay, we're ready to go.

• 36:13Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, we're out of pills, how, where's the closest place we can rob?

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Don't. No, Jews don't get cool criminal, we get Madoff, that's all we get. You don't get a good like badass heist movie.

• 36:24Stavros Halkias?

  You had to run the early mob, you know?

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Which one? Yes. Murder in Incorporated. Meyer Lansky. Murder in Incorporated, yes. Yeah, Bugsy wasn't you Meyer Lansky, we had a few.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  That was cool because at the time it was like, they controlled the entire pickle business.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  These guys.

• 36:41Stavros Halkias?

  We're, we're union busting the pickle unions.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  Shoelaces, you gotta go see what's his name.

• 36:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh fuck, but yeah.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  You like all the Godfather movies, right?

• 36:53Stavros Halkias?

  I love them.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Oh my god. They're so good.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  I wish they would redo the last one because then it would be like, ah, this is perfect, but that was like, man, but the, uh, which one's your favorite, like the second?

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  Second.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fantastic.

• 37:04Stavros Halkias?

  First one's incredible.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  First one is perfect.

• 37:06Stavros Halkias?

  But there's something about those, I'm also a sucker for old New York stuff.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:10Stavros Halkias?

  So just the, seeing that, how, how, that, the parade scene where he's tracking him across the fucking roof, roofs and your roofs, roof, roofs?

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Roofesses, uh, and you see the San Gennaro festival in like the twenties? Incredible, that shit is so fucking awesome.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  It's, it's, uh, I, I love the old movies where you could see the prices of stuff like.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  I was watching A Flight of the Condor, that was Robert Redford, and the movie's pretty good, it doesn't hold up from what I remember.

• 37:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  But they show like, all night parking, three dollars and ninety five cents.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  I'm like rewinding it, looking at it, no way, really?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  I had a younger, I had a twenty five year old girl over and I had, uh, I had the Godfather DVD out and she goes, I've never seen this and I was like, you gotta see the fucking Godfather. And I was like, is this grooming?

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Did she actually like it or no?

• 37:58Speaker 03

  She was like, this is incredible.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cool.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  I mean, that's, that's a good thing is like they, you, if you sit down and watch it, you're like, you, you can't think it isn't great.

• 38:06Stavros Halkias?

  I've had dumb friends of mine be like, it's too slow.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  That's.

• 38:10Stavros Halkias?

  You know, because they need everything to be like fucking, and they're my age, they're not like young.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  How about The Deer Hunter, did you like that one?

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  I loved it.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love that movie. But that scene is like, that wedding scene's like fifty minutes. I, I. It's worth it, but it's like, what you're like, why are they doing, and then at the end you're like, oh, I get why they're doing this. But at first you're like, this is a fucking, an hour at a wedding almost. But that's what somebody said to me, they go, man, this movie's so slow. I go, well, what do you want? A fast tragedy?

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Oh, you get it? He's not coming home. You get it? This guy, this guy's crippled for life. The other guy's a nightmare. I do like the idea of a novel, rap it, pick it up. Yeah, pick it. Yeah, come on, I got something to do.

• 38:44Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see him abandon his family in his first act.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  The scene where they're, where they're captive, the fu- I mean, that's one of the most incredible scenes.

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible shit, dude. I also, speaking of old New York movies, just watching New York, New York, the Scorsese one. You gotta, I got the DVD, you can borrow it.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Is that, is that, what, what year is that movie?

• 39:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's right after Taxi Driver. It was between Taxi Driver and King of Comedy. And it was Liza Minnelli and De Niro, and it's set in post-World War. It's right after, uh, VJ Day. It starts right after the-

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Is it a musical or not?

• 39:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's sort of a musical where they're both, De Niro's like a sax player and she's a singer. And they have this kind of, you know, tumultuous relationship. Some, it's really interesting, especially for, for, for like people who travel a lot, cause they're on the road, they're on tour half of it. So it's like, you see half of Old New York, then you see half of what the bu- road used to be like. Where they're all on these like buses.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking, and they're going through like, you know, shitty, you know, Chattanooga, like weird town, weird little towns.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Vaudeville towns.

• 39:39Stavros Halkias?

  Vaudeville, exactly. They're playing Vaudeville shit. It was, it was a really, I lo- I thought it was, it's not, Scorsese is so good that compared to his absolute masterpieces, it's not at, there's some pacing issues, but there's some, it looks cool. And then it's, Liza Minnelli and De Niro are captivating to watch.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, she was amazing.

• 39:56Stavros Halkias?

  And then it ends, she sings a lot in the end, and it's like, I really liked it. And it actually, so Marty Supreme, you can kind of tell that, I'd be shocked if they didn't, if Josh, if you didn't like that movie, because there's some definite like similar stuff about it.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  I've asked him about it, cause I know like, the his, the pace of his movies are so intense. And I was, I remember I asked him once, you ever see the movie California Split? Cause they were, and he's like, I fucking love California Split. I was like, oh, all right.

• 40:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I love, this has devolved into the guys remembering movie hour.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, this turned into, this turned into the Chris Farley Show, really quick.

• 40:28Stavros Halkias?

  Well, with none of the people from it, just us talking about how much we liked it. Yeah. Nashville, maybe the best.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Fucking movie.

• 40:34Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, that Altman movie's on.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  That one's, you know, you know what's- Art. You know what's a great road movie? It's Fabulous Baker Boys, Jeff Bridges and Michelle Pfeiffer. That's a fun one. And Bo Bridges.

• 40:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, fuck yeah.

• 40:43Speaker 03

  Fun movie. That's another one where one brother is like incredibly good looking and the other one's like, you know, hey.

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, I wonder who's gonna fuck Michelle Pfeiffer. I wonder which one, I wonder which one gets her.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  You guys ever see Year of the Dragon, Michael Chiamino?

• 40:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  I love that movie.

• 41:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's the.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Me and my brothers, we would fight like immediately. Like, it was so intense, so much. Like that, talk about like, man, that's, that's a great, that's a New York movie. Like, you go to Chinatown now, there's none of that there.

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I love that fucking movie.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Everything's a hat store.

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of cour- yeah, yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  He's, he's taken over the hats, hat triad.

• 41:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's Chiamino and then it's, what's his face?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  It's Mickey Rourke.

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  Mickey Rourke, yeah, yeah.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's a banger, folks.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  He was a man.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  These are all bangers, folks.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  That was before he had the face thing.

• 41:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a piece of ass back then. Pope of Greenwich Village, another New York movie?

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Love Pope of Greenwich Village.

• 41:34Stavros Halkias?

  What was the?

• 41:35Speaker 01

  Diner?

• 41:36Stavros Halkias?

  Diner's Baltimore.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's a great movie. That's Barry Levinson, right?

• 41:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, true. What's the first movie you saw in theaters?

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Jaws.

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  No, I remember my dad taking us to see Apocalypse Now and Jaws.

• 41:50Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, what the fuck?

• 41:53Speaker 01

  But we were really young, you know? Well, I don't, I don't know if I saw Jaws and, uh, um, uh, what was it? Exorcist in the movie theater, but that is something you should look online for, like, when that hit in New York. And how, like, there was, like, you grew up here, but there was, like, lines in mid, in, uh, Times Square to go see the Exorcist. And people would come out crying, throwing up. It was such a shock to them. Now, all that stuff has been done, like, on some kind of TikTok channel, all that kind of bullshit, but, like, people were, like, just going nuts, like, they couldn't believe it. And, like, there was, like,

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  uh, priests and nuns, like, this is sacrilege and all that kind of shit, so.

• 42:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  That would've been cool to see there, like, just like, you know, how, like, we were so numb to everything, just back then, they had, they have the same reference, you know, so.

• 42:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that's hilarious. Apocalypse Now.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, in the movie theater.

• 42:40Stavros Halkias?

  See that in a movie theater is so awesome. That's incredible.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  It's not just a dark movie, it's like three hours.

• 42:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  I love it. That's one, you know, it's amazing, but it's just a wild movie to take a kid to.

• 42:50Stavros Halkias?

  Mine was Aladdin.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  It must have been like something Disney like I can't remember it. It must have been something like that.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was Aladdin. I remember it was me and my dad and I was like, I guess six. I don't know. When did was Aladdin 95 elders?

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I'm so old. Song of the South. Yeah. Oh, we went. My dad made it five times.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Aladdin was 92.

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, 92.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  That makes sense.

• 43:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's it. Wow. Five. But I remember being horny for the like, not horny, but being like Jasmine in the red. When Jafar's got.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  If you were a warlord dude, you'd be all over that piece.

• 43:24Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe. Yeah. Honestly, if you meld Jafar and her dad, that's who I am. The two characters. If you mix the two characters from fucking Aladdin, I'm basically Aladdin's or Jasmine's dad became to me almost like a. I was like, you never see your mom, but I used to do the math. I was like, this little fat guy. He fucked some lady and made Jasmine. Imagine how hot the lady was. And so I looked at that being like, if this little fat guy could do. Aladdin was very important to me for my self-esteem. First it taught me like, oh, I like seeing brown girls in fucking red bikinis. And then it taught me like, if a little fat guy like him could marry a woman hot enough to make Jasmine, you can fuck a hot girl too. It was very important for me, man. Yeah. It's nice to have lessons, you know, to take lessons from, from film.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  My mom was showing me artsy shit. When I was a little kid, she would show me like the red balloon.

• 44:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  It was like French kid walking around. I'm like, it just ends with the balloon pop. You're just like, as a child, you're like, life is shit.

• 44:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my mom tried that shit too. Then she very quickly realized she was raising Americans and not Europeans. She grew up on like going to like Godard movies and like, cause she was in Europe. She was, she grew up in. At first Bulgaria and then they went to they, my grandfather's a prisoner of war.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Really?

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  Bulgaria. And my grandmother, her family.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  The Axis?

• 44:41Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, he was. Yeah, exactly. He was, he signed up. He signed up to fight for the Axis.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  He was the left flank of Stalin, right? He was not.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Really gonna let it all fall apart.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  There was a weird civil war after, you know, World War II with Greece and he got captured. And my grandmother's family were communists that fled the Nazis. Cause they were rounding up, they were putting communists in camps.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:04Stavros Halkias?

  They wanted them dead too. And so my grandmother, it's hilarious that my grandmother like fled the Nazis through like the back, like the mountains of northern Greece into Bulgaria.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 45:15Stavros Halkias?

  And then my grandfather, her and my grandfather met and he took her back to Greece. Like her whole, my grandfather and grandmother's family is all in Bulgaria. I have like a ton of cousins in Bulgaria weirdly. But my grand, my mom grew up there, so she started watching movies there and then Greece and the like, we're talking the late 50s, 60s and 70s. So she's seeing all this like artsy, like European cinema and she tried to do that and I was like, then, and then she threw on The Godfather and I was like, this is more my speed.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Other shit's just not for a child, you know?

• 45:44Stavros Halkias?

  But she took me to museums and I'm happy for that, cause now I like art.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, hell yeah dude, look at that. So have you been back to Bulgaria?

• 45:52Stavros Halkias?

  I've never been to Bulgaria. I, I wanna go.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  You would crush it there.

• 45:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  You really would.

• 45:57Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to go.

• 45:57Speaker 01

  I'm doing your, I'm doing like, I'm doing your home, I'm doing Athens.

• 46:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  I'm doing all over.

• 46:02Stavros Halkias?

  When are you going to Athens?

• 46:02Speaker 01

  I'm doing, I think like early September.

• 46:05Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh.

• 46:05Speaker 01

  Lisbon, Athens.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  I might be there.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  That'd be sick.

• 46:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'll try and get there.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Doesn't it kinda like ruin it now that everybody goes all the time? Like it's, that's what they say in Italy, like it's packed, you have to, you know, it's like you can't walk anywhere.

• 46:16Stavros Halkias?

  You don't wanna go to Rome and like, there's like four months where I talked to a guy in Rome, from Rome and he was like, don't come, you know, I don't even remember the time. She was like, come like kinda towards the winter, come towards the end of the fall. Cause in the summer and shit, it's, you can't even fucking move. But Greece at least, you know, you don't wanna go July and August, I don't think, but September is the best.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  I did, I did Italy last year, I did Rome. I didn't do a gig there, but I did a gig in Milan and they're like, it's like performing in the 80s. Like every three jokes you get like an applause break, you know?

• 46:46Stavros Halkias?

  If you make fun of a gay person, they'll laugh forever. If you make fun of, yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Well, I'm not gonna get on a plane and fly 10 hours to people who don't get me when I can get it right here.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  I can go out to South Jersey right now and find the same.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  I can get blank stares at the stress factory.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. I could book a double at Uncle Vinny's and get the same kinda.

• 47:09Stavros Halkias?

  It would be awesome if there was like an Italian Vinny brand who hops on and just fucking does.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  He's not fucking deaf.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  He just does thirty minutes.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  No, but people always tell me, it's like, was there a club there? They don't do a club. They have like a cavern.

• 47:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  Like a tomb that they kind of cleared out and it's like musky bottle, always blowing on a bottle or something. Like, you know, the host holds like a torch.

• 47:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Our next act is very spooky.

• 47:34Stavros Halkias?

  A gypsy, a gypsy juggler opens for you.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  They have all these amphitheaters there. It's gorgeous.

• 47:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  No one's done that yet, right? An amphitheater?

• 47:44Speaker 03

  I think Bird did it. I think Bird did an amphitheater in Athens.

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know who did it also? Woody Allen. Woody Allen played jazz in the Athens Amphitheater. And I think it sold the fuck out. People were pumped, dude. It was so fucking hilarious, which is so funny. It's like.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  I think he's like fifth best at.

• 48:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  He's great.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 48:03Stavros Halkias?

  Comedy molesting children.

• 48:07Stavros Halkias?

  Being friends with Epstein. His wife emailing Epstein.

• 48:11Speaker 01

  Okay, seventh best at.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  That was a weird email.

• 48:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Hey, it's hard to get kids into college, guys. You gotta know the right pedophiles. You gotta.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  It's funny that he was part of a pedophile hierarchy where it's like, it's like, uh, hey, whoa, Epstein's. It's like, it's like, you know.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Like the food pyramid.

• 48:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  He was protein.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Fruits and vegetables below him. So, wait, Bill did a, did a, um, an amphitheater?

• 48:40Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Okay. And I know, uh, what's his name? Dean did that cavern. I thought that was a cool idea.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  That was crazy.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  And has anyone ever done one on a cruise ship? Have you done that?

• 48:48Stavros Halkias?

  I've never done a Athens cruise ship.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's rough, dude.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  You can get that hunk of virus cruise ship going there.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  Nick Sworson was trying to get a cruise ship together and I was like, how is the sober guy, the one who wants to do this shit? This seems like a fucking nightmare.

• 49:02Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know. When, when like, you know, I, I had fun on, like, we've, I think we all did the fully loaded tour. It was a blast. But when they asked me to do the cruise, I was like.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Same.

• 49:10Stavros Halkias?

  There is nothing I'd like, I love Bird. I had a fun.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:13Stavros Halkias?

  There's nothing I'd like to do less than be on a cruise, than do the floating Bird Kreischer cruise. You know what I mean? And not just Bird. Anybody's comedy cruise, I don't want to do.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Same. I did it once. I did the Impractical Jokers cruise and it was fun, but I was like, by day three, like, get me the fuck home.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  That's a lot, yeah.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 49:30Stavros Halkias?

  And you're in one of those little fucked up rooms?

• 49:32Speaker 01

  I, I was just listening to Mike Vecchione fuck in the room next to me. Oh, no.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  This was pre-married Mike Vecchione.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  He fucks with your picture. I'm like, this guy's got endurance, dude.

• 49:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, dude. He's probably grunting a lot.

• 49:46Stavros Halkias?

  I can picture right now.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Sitting there reading George Carlin's book, doing your work as an artist.

• 49:52Stavros Halkias?

  I can't believe this. Animals engaging in carnal pleasures. We have people, we have fat guys in Hawaiian shirts to entertain tomorrow, bright and early. We have the 10 a.m. slot, right after the breakfast buffet.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  You get fat as fuck on those things. There's fried, there's just like a plate of fried chicken in every room. I remember Ari, Ari was on that too, and Ari weighed himself after. He's like, I gained 13 pounds. In like six days, because he couldn't stop eating the fried chicken. He was high.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. You're selling me on it, actually.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Every family has one. The person who says, oh, I don't want anything this year. Cool. Super helpful. Here's the fix. Coop Sleep Goods. It's the rare gift that gets used every single night instead of shoved in a closet by January. Coop's Holiday Gift Guide is now 25% off. Packed with best-selling adjustable pillows, cooling sheets, and toppers. And while you're there, grab one for yourself. I mean, you've been powering through this whole year on fumes. You've earned it. Every order comes with a 100-night trial, so there's no guesswork. Give yourself a damn break. Get 25% off the Holiday Gift Guide for a limited time at coopsleepgoods.com/comedy. That's C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com/comedy.

• 51:07Speaker 05

  Dana, listen, I want to talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right?

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show?

• 51:18Speaker 05

  We have great people, a lot of fun. And Mondays, it's you and I to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips online, every stupid thing. So, everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  Well, why don't we, listen, we've, we've reminisced enough. Why don't we get to the real point of the show, helping the people out? Dave, one of the, we, you know, he's basically our Yoda. He's basically comedy's Yoda, so why don't we take some of that wisdom?

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Tell me how you really feel. Stop reading the prompt.

• 51:53Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, I'm reading the email Dave sent me.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  What are my people telling you? What is my team, what is my team trying to promote?

• 52:01Stavros Halkias?

  Dave's publicist was very, was clear, we have to get this language right.

• 52:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, he's obviously.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  So what do you, what goes on here? Cause I'm not really.

• 52:09Stavros Halkias?

  We'll tell you right now, these people, we send in some voicemails. They're gonna ask us questions and we're gonna solve all their problems.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  What?

• 52:14Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  I mean, okay, let's go.

• 52:16Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna, it's, it's a fun, we'll have a good time. Eldis, give us something nice.

• 52:21Speaker 06

  Hey, dog, Eldis, it's team guest.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  Well.

• 52:24Speaker 06

  I'll try to be quick with the sex.

• 52:27Stavros Halkias?

  Play it again, they can't, they can't play.

• 52:30Speaker 06

  Hey, dog, Eldis, it's team guest. I'll try to be quick with the sex. My girlfriend and I, we're both trans women in our early thirties.

• 52:37Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 52:38Speaker 06

  Transition's going great, curves in all the right places. We're both hotter than we've ever been.

• 52:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool.

• 52:43Speaker 06

  We love to constantly fuck. We film ourselves fucking all the time.

• 52:46Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 52:47Speaker 06

  So given that, naturally, we've begun exploring some like OnlyFans work, you know, just for fun on the side. Uh, just a way of expressing our bodies. I'm a videographer with some experience, so it's a fun way to use some.

• 52:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. Be like, I'm a videographer. So, you know, it just felt like, you know, me and my, me and my girlfriend, we're just, uh, bringing my art into this. You know what I mean?

• 53:07Speaker 01

  I love the confidence. By the way, you film yourself having sex, you, you don't look as good as you think.

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, what if she's got a fucking gaffer, dude? What if their lighting, what if their lighting goes, you know what I mean?

• 53:16Speaker 01

  But it's for me, it's like basketball. I'm like, I'm fucking that slow?

• 53:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  It's sad. I'm out of breath already?

• 53:22Stavros Halkias?

  I, I know, dude. A, a girl, a girl that was like, take a picture, you know what I mean? Take a picture of this. And I like had to look at my p- first of all, it was after I nutted, so my dick looked pretty small. And I just didn't like that, how little my dick. I was like, can't we take the pic when I'm absolutely torqued?

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:38Stavros Halkias?

  I need torqued and I need to be at the right angle. I need to work, I need the lens. I need a lens that does a, I need a lens that kinda does that effect that makes things look bigger in camera.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  A shadow.

• 53:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I need to cast a long shadow.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  With the sun, you know, when the sun's right.

• 53:51Stavros Halkias?

  A J.J. Abrams lens flare backlighting my cock. That would be nice.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Put me on the dolly and move me back while we zoom in on my dick. I guess Scorsese shot.

• 54:01Stavros Halkias?

  Well, this has been studying cinematography.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Was there a need for help or a problem? It's not like somebody figured their life out really well. I mean.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're just like, we're really hot and we film ourselves fucking. Where's the problem?

• 54:12Speaker 01

  They're having a good time. I didn't see a problem.

• 54:14Stavros Halkias?

  Is there more?

• 54:15Speaker 06

  It's a fun way to use some of the equipment I have. Uh, problem is our roommate.

• 54:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not getting commercial work, so I'm gonna film my girl, my girlfriend putting a butt plug in my ass.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, we get it. You went to B and H, dude.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so saying.

• 54:27Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going.

• 54:27Speaker 06

  Problem is our roommate, I have two of them, she has one as well. Our incessant needs have really caused a lot of problems so far. Annoyances, grievances, yada, yada. So my question is, how can we start this little cycle for ourselves without causing a bunch more grievances for our roommate?

• 54:45Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, wait, you're.

• 54:46Speaker 06

  Additional contact.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Well, I couldn't, I couldn't make that out.

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  What's the context?

• 54:50Speaker 01

  There's a third roommate there, I think. Correct.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  The caller has two roommates and her girlfriend has one roommate and the roommates are starting to get pissed off.

• 54:58Stavros Halkias?

  That they're fucking all, it's like, hey, guys, come on. Chill with the fucking, yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Oh, cause they're also shooting their OnlyFans stuff as well, right?

• 55:07Speaker 03

  I mean, maybe you should have put that in the Craigslist person.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, really.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  That's, that would be, I would be annoyed.

• 55:13Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking lube in here. Come on.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  I would be annoyed, especially like, I've lived in some small places with a lot of roommates and I'm like, I, I would be pretty annoyed if they were fucking nonstop.

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true. I've had to, you know how many times I, I, good thing Elders didn't fuck so much, but when he did, it was, I, I knew his rhythm, I knew his cadence. You know what I mean? I had to put on headphones. Luckily it didn't last too long. Luckily, I watched one TikTok and he's done, but.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm no relationship expert or.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Or anything like that, but can't they just solve this with like, I don't know, a track meet? I mean, you know, equals, you know, maybe a head start, give them a little bit of a head start. There's no way I think throwing a discus wouldn't solve this terrible family problem here.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Alright, how about some boxing? By the way, clearly your OnlyFans isn't doing that well if you have, how many roommates?

• 56:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's true. Also, it's like, look, is that it? Is that pretty much it?

• 56:11Speaker 01

  First of all, there are not roommates in a psychiatric treatment center, okay?

• 56:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's hallucinating all this. Finish it up, elders.

• 56:18Speaker 06

  Uh, additional context, my roommates aren't like their closest friends. We've lived together for a year now. I don't really know them too well, and I actually pay two thirds of the rent in my apartment currently. I don't want to try and pull that card on them, but I will say I need to, because I mean, I don't want to be a jackass, but I just want to get my felt on, and I want to share with the world, so. Yeah, sorry if I didn't give enough context. Love you stuff. Thanks.

• 56:44Stavros Halkias?

  The best part of this call is-

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Too much context if you ask me.

• 56:47Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. We actually don't need to know you do OnlyFans. This call is just-

• 56:52Speaker 01

  That is a problem, though. There is a serious issue here, don't you think?

• 56:55Stavros Halkias?

  This call is purely bragging. It's just like, I'm getting so much pussy, I'm getting, you know what I mean?

• 57:01Speaker 01

  He's having a great time.

• 57:01Stavros Halkias?

  I fuck my girlfriend, we're sucking each other off so much, it's awesome, but my roommates hate it.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:07Stavros Halkias?

  First of all, why do you pay two thirds? And honestly, once I heard she pays two thirds of the rent, I'm like, yeah, you get the fuck as much as you want. They're getting a deal. If this, in New York City, dude, if I got to pay like, like, yeah, if I got to pay $500, my fucking roommates could fuck in the living room.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Do whatever you want, right?

• 57:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? So, the fact that you're, that you've got all of this is not a, it's, that ain't, that's not a big deal. But yeah, this doesn't, this isn't-

• 57:30Speaker 01

  It's a weird thing to explain, though, to the roommate who's bringing someone up like, wow, you got a really good deal on this place? Like, yeah, they're just, they're gonna be banging the whole time, yeah. It's a bit of a drag.

• 57:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we can't really put anything, we can't put shelves on the wall next to her bedroom. Everything fucked. We earned, my vase was bumped off the fucking ledge because they were fucking so hard in there.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  That's really-

• 57:52Stavros Halkias?

  This isn't a problem, you know, listen-

• 57:54Speaker 01

  I think there's some simple ways, just to let them know, maybe smearing some dog shit on the door. You know, old, old school, like- You know, things aren't right here at the apartment.

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's true. Start acting like it's haunted. Start, start, start making them clear out.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Scare them out.

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  Leave like, yeah, leave little fucking weird shit, uh, you know, pretend you're a ghost. You're, you're, you're into audio visual stuff. Can you project a ghost into their room?

• 58:21Speaker 01

  It doesn't sound like a real problem. Like, it was like a three minute message.

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  This is bragging and this is bad.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Ninety-nine percent of it was like, life is good.

• 58:27Stavros Halkias?

  This is, so yeah, your life's fine. Here's what you need to do. Pick up some fucking shifts wherever the fuck you work and stop having roommates. If you pay, if you pay two thirds and you have a girlfriend and your things are going good, get, why don't you guys move in? Maybe it's a little too soon, but look, this is not a problem. It sounds like maybe this is the first time in your life that you've really fucked a lot. Like, because I feel like this happens with, I have, you know, trans friends and I feel like a lot of them go through almost like, it's kind of like going through puberty. Again, you know what I mean? Like later in life. So you're basically at the point, this is what happens when people go to college and it's the first time they can fuck. And so they fuck non-stop. And it feels like these girls are in their thirties, their transition's finally in a good place and they're confident in their bodies.

• 59:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're just in the, you're in the honeymoon phase of being a woman right now. And you're loving fucking non-stop. You're, you're, you know, you're proud of how you look, how things are going. I'm not saying that's gonna fade away completely, but it won't, the novelty-

• 59:25Speaker 01

  It will fade away with age, for sure.

• 59:27Stavros Halkias?

  The novelty will eventually fade away. Yeah, life gets worse. You're in a good spot right now. You and your, how about this? Fucking, if you really want an all-day fuck sesh, uh, this is, go to, get a fucking hotel for the day. Go to one of those websites that gives you, that gives you like-

• 59:41Speaker 01

  In New York?

• 59:41Stavros Halkias?

  Not, did she say she's in New York? No, they're probably in some fucking, I'm just saying, if you want to fuck all day, right? Like, for example, if I wanted, if I was enjoying a chili cook-off, I wouldn't take over the kitchen for 24 hours. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's rude. You can't fuck, like, if you want to fuck a couple times, three times, whatever in your house, that's normal stuff. But if you're fucking outside of the normal range of like, what a roommate does, you know, you want to have a marathon fuck sesh?

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  I'm lucky all my roommates were like fucking losers who never got laid.

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  I never had, I mean, I'd hear him cry sometimes in the other room, but never, never fucking.

• 1:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'd hear them beg for pussy, but never, but never fuck. We had a roommate who lived in a window, like, in the living room.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've done that.

• 1:00:27Stavros Halkias?

  And he fucked nonstop. It was hilarious. You could hear, they had the most hilarious relationship because Eldis would just wake up at fucking 8 a.m. and have, he had a two-hour get-ready-for-work routine where he would make an omelet and watch Miami Vice.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:00:41Stavros Halkias?

  And our roommate was just-

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  I take it back. That's a cool-ass fucking routine.

• 1:00:44Stavros Halkias?

  And our roommate, you just heard those shitty walls fucking shake while he's banging this girl, and Eldis is just playing Miami Vice on the couch, eating his goat cheese omelet.

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  I know, it's so funny, like, neither of us thought, is this rude?

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  We're both just going about our day, like, there's no one else in the apartment.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  It's like the Siamese twins where, like, one's playing the piano, the other one's just taking a shit. No, I can, mentally, we've learned to give each other walls.

• 1:01:16Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, you're fucking bragging. You don't have a real fucking problem. Congratulations. I'm happy, I'm happy you're getting to fuck a lot, but, you know, just be a good roommate and maybe fucking move out and get your own place. Get your own little fuck pad. Uh, next question, Mr. Sula.

• 1:01:31Speaker 07

  Tavi, baby, love you guys. Longtime listener, um, first time caller. Love you guys. Um, I have a problem with, uh, someone that I'm dating has a hidden addiction, a drinking addiction, and I didn't know about. I'm about two years out of a pretty heavy divorce, but I've been dating, having fun, meeting a lot of nice girls, but none of them have been really clicking. I meet this amazing dream girl, gorgeous, smart, funny, loves movies, sports, all that good stuff. We like the same teams, we're from the same city, we're in a different city now, and things are going incredible. The sex is outrageous, sexual connection, everything is great. About eight weeks in, I start catching some red flags off of her,

• 1:02:15Speaker 07

  some drama with the family doesn't add up, and this and that.

• 1:02:19Stavros Halkias?

  I smelled her, she was driving me somewhere, or she spilled her Stanley cup, it smelled like vodka.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  You think she's the perfect woman? Eight months in, she, uh, drunk drove into a school zone.

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  Murdered a bunch of children.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  Stand by her shit.

• 1:02:31Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you know, that that goes to show you how good the pussy is, by the way. Keep going, Aldous.

• 1:02:36Speaker 07

  And this and that. And then she stays in my house for four days while she's changing properties or something. I don't know. And she drinks about 13 bottles of high end whiskey and mezcal that I have in my house.

• 1:02:50Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:02:51Speaker 07

  Sell it professionally.

• 1:02:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's kind of cool.

• 1:02:52Speaker 07

  Anyway, um, I confront her, she flips out.

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  Are you banging Charles Bukowski? 13 bottles of whiskey?

• 1:02:59Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, literally, that's like, that's like what Deadwood characters.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, really?

• 1:03:05Stavros Halkias?

  Is she trying to stave off cholera?

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  Dude, you know how much, hold on, do the math. Four days, 13 bottles? Yeah, that's insane. But he says, you know, I've got like whiskey, I collect whiskey right next to my gun cabinet. I gave her the keys, you know, I trust her. I trust this guy. I love this woman.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane, dude. The fact that you flabbergasted Sam who has a drinking problem.

• 1:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  He's out of control now, buddy.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  I'm used to it. We're good.

• 1:03:34Stavros Halkias?

  But there were a couple of years. When I was addicted to pills, you were addicted to booze. We had, we had some dark times.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Good times, dude. I think they were good times, dude.

• 1:03:42Stavros Halkias?

  They were good times.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  But no, that's.

• 1:03:44Stavros Halkias?

  We were all just trying to recreate Dave's run, dude. He was having the, the insomnia. You really kind of forced us to want to be cool and do shit.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Well, I feel for you and your livers because I know you guys probably have been drinking way more than me now. But this guy's amazing. We're like, it's, it's amazing that coke hasn't come into it yet. No, she's just an alcoholic. She's up for days at a time. I mean, it's crazy what alcohol duty. I mean, like, you know, she's got two guys going at this. That's the crazy booze.

• 1:04:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  So what, what is he? I mean, that's, but that's like a serious alcohol. That's not like sneaky and that's.

• 1:04:13Stavros Halkias?

  I also feel like he's probably, he's over. There's no way.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Are they little bottles, you think?

• 1:04:17Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows?

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  If they're little bottle, like airport bottles, that's not awful, but nobody, only losers collect a little airport. Look where I was. I was in a hotel. Jesus Christ, sorry.

• 1:04:28Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, LD.

• 1:04:29Speaker 07

  Um, I confront her, she flips out, I kick her out of my house, she goes on a bender, nearly kills herself with a .55.

• 1:04:37Stavros Halkias?

  She goes on a bender, she was on a bender at your house, she had 13 bottles, anyway, keep going.

• 1:04:40Speaker 07

  She flips out, I kick her out of my house, she goes on a bender, nearly kills herself with a .55 BAC, ends up in the hospital.

• 1:04:50Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:04:50Speaker 07

  I contact her parents through one way or another, and it turns out she's a massive alcoholic.

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:04:56Speaker 07

  For five years.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Hold on, we're not there yet, buddy, she might be okay.

• 1:05:00Speaker 07

  Getting all this stuff from me. I also found out a lot of the information that I knew was true, a lot of it was fucked up, so she's in rehab now, and I'm really racking my head if I even give this girl a conversation. When she gets out.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  She's the pilot for United.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  I would have loved to seen that door camera footage of the two of them going head to head. 14 bottles of little whiskey. You have a problem, man. You're a fucking asshole. Give me your fucking cheese. Yeah, and then the one good guy, you need help, ma'am?

• 1:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  Is this man bothering you?

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  I just wanna go to Blimpies. He won't give me his fucking cheese, I'm like, I gotta pick up my son from soccer practice.

• 1:05:47Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so this guy doesn't even know if he wants to talk to her again?

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  There's a little more.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Speaker 07

  Oh, she's messaging me now and back and forth, and it's just, it's a heavy thing. So, I just need advice on when do I cut people off for lying, or was that lying part of her addiction, and I'm not trying to be too gnarly.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  That's a tough problem, man. That's a tough one. He sounds like a good guy, too, that's tough, man. Yeah, if she's in rehab, maybe she'll get, I don't know how it works, really, but...

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  I think I would, yeah, I mean, you should, you should.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  You should find out.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  I think she has to earn his trust and the best way to do it would be to be the fourth roommate in the first call for those two people.

• 1:06:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go fuck.

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  Let's party.

• 1:06:36Stavros Halkias?

  Get a couple of trans roommates and try and out fuck them. That's how you get this, that's how you get the spark back in your relationship.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  That's a tough problem, man.

• 1:06:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's a tough one, but listen, I say there's a couple, there's a couple of factors here. I think it really boils down to how good it was to fuck. If we're being completely honest. I think whether she gets a shot again, because look, I'll say, we're, we're no strangers to, everybody that we are friends with is a, is a former addict of something.

• 1:07:03Speaker 01

  Broken, as we call it.

• 1:07:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, we're all, yeah, and so, some of the most fun people, because in, in some ways, somebody who has that problem and then goes through rehab and kicks it.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  They're some of the most fun people you ever meet.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  Because they have it in them to be a good time, but they know the amount that'll kill them now, and now they're just chill.

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  Oh, they have like 16 hours a day to learn like Mandarin and karate and shit. They're fucking amazing. Yeah, no, I'm with you. It's, you know, the best, so you hope they can figure it out.

• 1:07:29Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's fucked up to be like, you won't even give her a chance, right? Look, you don't have to, you don't have to start dating immediately, but you could just be like, you could, you know, meet for a coffee, see that she, her shit's good, and just kind of take it from there. And if you're saying she's perfect, she's incredible, this addiction is a fucking disease, right? It's fucking real. Um, and, you know, you're, you're, if you really had a good thing, obviously she acted out, but to be honest with you, dating an alcoholic eight months and you only had one weird episode?

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  It was, it was eight weeks, not eight months.

• 1:08:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, eight weeks.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he saw a building, he was, you know.

• 1:08:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. So I don't know.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  But he was so, you know.

• 1:08:06Stavros Halkias?

  How big are her tits?

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  And she does like sports.

• 1:08:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Sure she suicidal, has a death wish, but she'll watch the Knicks, come on.

• 1:08:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  Does she like heat?

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you, okay, that's what we do. Show her heat.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Heat fuck.

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Fucking rules.

• 1:08:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, she'll like it. Yeah, I don't know, man. I say you can give her, you can just treat it as like, uh, starting completely over and the second you see a, the second you see a red flag, you're out of there, but you know, give it, give it one more go. Maybe she, you might, this might be the best case scenario.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Take care of yourself.

• 1:08:37Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  She owes you one now. That's what they always say. So you can fuck up somehow and she's gotta forgive you.

• 1:08:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. Ruin like a big accomplishment of hers. Maybe she's graduating from grad school. Show up with your dick out. You know what I mean? Say, "You did this. You did this, you fucking whore. You drank all my whiskeys."

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Even Stevens.

• 1:08:58Stavros Halkias?

  And then we're even and then you can go on from there. Um, all right. I think we really helped this guy too. Give us another one, Eldis.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

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• 1:09:51Speaker 05

  Dana, listen, I want to talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right?

• 1:09:59Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show?

• 1:10:02Speaker 05

  We have great people, a lot of fun. Uh, and Mondays, it's you and I to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips online, every stupid thing. So, everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 1:10:22Speaker 06

  Hey Stavvy, um, so I am recently divorced and I started to hit the dating pool in a college town. And my name is Sean. And I met this woman who has the exact same name as me. Uh, she even spells it the exact same way.

• 1:10:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's hard.

• 1:10:46Speaker 06

  She is not a man. She's not, not a trans transgender. She wasn't born a man.

• 1:10:52Stavros Halkias?

  A transgender.

• 1:10:53Speaker 06

  I think her parents wanted a boy. I don't really.

• 1:10:55Stavros Halkias?

  What's the area code for this one, Elvis? I'm gonna say Kentucky. Let's find out which state does he work for.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Is this the town with that weapons movie? She says her name.

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  It might shock you to find that's, uh, Kansas.

• 1:11:09Stavros Halkias?

  Kansas, not Kentucky, Kansas.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Now I can handle this one.

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  Take her to the state fair.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  Show her how it's done. If you're, if you're doing what the Paris, we then do a slow two-step with her.

• 1:11:26Stavros Halkias?

  Show her, show her the prize hog.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Yes. By the way, uh, great barbecue, not the most progressive place.

• 1:11:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Sean, the sexy lady with no cock. Go ahead.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:40Speaker 06

  No, um, she told me, but I wasn't listening. And either way, we've been hooking up a lot and it's starting to get kinda weird in the bedroom because it's too early in the relationship, if you wanna call it a relationship. It's too early to use pet names, like, you know, a, a pet name that you might give a girl after a long time, but it's also, it feels very narcissistic to yell out my own name during sex.

• 1:12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh Sean, this pussy's incredible Sean. Oh Sean, you're sucking my cock so good.

• 1:12:17Speaker 06

  Even worse, I was, I was dating a girl recently named Stavros. I was like, oh, Stavros.

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  Your pussy is amazing.

• 1:12:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know what, I think I have hooked up with a girl named Sam.

• 1:12:28Stavros Halkias?

  I've probably been like, yeah, Sam, oh, Sam, and didn't think about it until this moment. I'll never be able to fuck another Samantha ever again. I'll have to use the full name.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  What a quaint problem this is. It's like one of those, the movie channels. Sean loves Sean.

• 1:12:48Speaker 03

  Like that poster?

• 1:12:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Taylor Lautner, the guy from Twilight, he's married to a woman named Taylor Lautner.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  He married a woman named Taylor and then she took his last name.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  That's wild.

• 1:12:58Stavros Halkias?

  And their book's named Taylor Lautner.

• 1:12:59Speaker 01

  That is amazing. Why don't you just call her what they call her at the office, Coach?

• 1:13:05Speaker 01

  Let me in, Coach. Come on, Coach, give me a shot.

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  He's gonna call her baby. They're doing like old noir, come on, baby.

• 1:13:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, honestly, this doesn't seem like that much of a problem, but keep going.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  It's nothing.

• 1:13:16Speaker 02

  A small detail we missed, dude, that he said, uh, he's, he said, her parents wanted a boy, I don't really know, she told me, but I wasn't listening.

• 1:13:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's a really good sign.

• 1:13:24Speaker 01

  So she's Asian, we get it. We get it, alright, I'm glad he didn't get into it. We get it.

• 1:13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we, it's spelled X I A N, Jean.

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  No name during sex? Um, you know, she's done it once and it just kind of ruined the mood.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  It just, uh, I don't know what to do. There's, there's no middle names that we like to use, my middle name doesn't work, I don't go by my middle name, and her middle name is. What? Rose. Everyone loves Robert E. Lee. So. If this is your problem, I think you're gonna make it, dude. I don't think it's gonna last very long, this relationship.

• 1:14:05Stavros Halkias?

  You're, you're maybe one for three so far on these fucking calls, dude.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  This is like a prom at a one-room schoolhouse. Let me tell you something.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  Sean, who gives a fuck?

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  I don't know how far you are from a Bucky's. But you should drive down.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  I hooked up with a Sam and it didn't even register. Like, who gives a shit?

• 1:14:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you know what I'm-

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  I think that's the cool girl. It's my name Sam. It's Samantha, but, you know, Sam.

• 1:14:29Stavros Halkias?

  Sam's a girl with like a leather jacket and like a little bob.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:32Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you know, she's a badass. Um, she probably pegged you.

• 1:14:35Speaker 03

  She did, but. She called me Sam, so it was cool.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  This is leading to something, though. What's, what is?

• 1:14:42Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think there is.

• 1:14:43Speaker 01

  Is that it?

• 1:14:43Stavros Halkias?

  I think Eldis just chose another bad call.

• 1:14:46Speaker 01

  Is there something in the corn?

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Are, are people disappearing in the corn?

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  Ever since Sean and I have been having sex.

• 1:14:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're starting a nexus.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  Children have been disappearing in the corn.

• 1:15:00Stavros Halkias?

  I can't keep fucking this Sean pussy.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  I bet you she's super cool and this is the guy's like one little problem.

• 1:15:07Speaker 03

  It's way worse if you're screaming out like your mom's name during sex.

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Then like, yeah, like, like I would never fuck someone named Marilyn. That's a no-go.

• 1:15:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's fucking hilarious.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  But like Sam, who gives a shit?

• 1:15:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, you're a fucking asshole, honestly, if I'm being completely honest with you.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sean, who care, you also, she tried to tell you why she's named Sean and you tuned her out? You didn't, you don't know the fucking, like, you know, this lore she was trying to share with you? I think, again, this is a, this is another person bragging about getting pussy. Uh, there's no real problem here. Eldis, you've left another one sneak through. And I pray to God you have one good call while we have Dave Attell on the fucking-

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  No, I thought that was pretty, these are problems. These are what people are dealing with. We don't know, because here we are in the Parthenon, you know, here we are, Mount Olympus. Like gods, Poseidon and whatnot, we're all looking down on them like the Battle of Troy.

• 1:16:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, that's not bad. We should have a, we should have a, a section of the strip club called Poseidon's Lounge.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be awesome. Which is a dirty, filthy baby pool. Poseidon's Lounge. Release the kraken. Some one-eyed dude comes out.

• 1:16:15Stavros Halkias?

  There's an hour a day where we can go bottomless and then that's when we say, release the kraken. When they show, when they pull their pussies out.

• 1:16:23Speaker 01

  Well, that's a hit.

• 1:16:25Stavros Halkias?

  All right, LD, reden, it's your chance for redemption. Will you blow it? Will you do a good call? Let's find out. Hey, Salvi, uh, first time caller, long time listener. So I'm in a bit of-

• 1:16:37Speaker 06

  Pickle at the moment. About a week ago, my brother came into town unannounced to do some work stuff and

• 1:16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:47Speaker 06

  He asked me if I could look after his kid. Now, my nephew was around like

• 1:16:51Speaker 01

  Is this Mark Wahlberg from Fear calling?

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  Keep him talking. I've almost got the location.

• 1:16:59Stavros Halkias?

  We can trace it.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  Okay, coordinate. We got it. Move the team.

• 1:17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Move it, move it, move it.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 1:17:07Speaker 06

  He asked me if I could look after his kid. Now, my nephew was around like seven or eight years old.

• 1:17:14Speaker 06

  And anyway, I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll look after him.

• 1:17:19Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever.

• 1:17:21Speaker 06

  I ended up giving his kid my phone just to give him something to do for a little bit. Cause I had some errands I had to run and I'm like, hey, you can play some games on my phone.

• 1:17:33Stavros Halkias?

  He pulled up Shannon Elizabeth's OnlyFans?

• 1:17:35Speaker 06

  It all was good.

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  It's not easy running a candy store in the early 1960s. The sharks and the jets, they keep coming in here. When will you kids learn? God, this guy's very Brooklyn something.

• 1:17:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, whatever's happening, buddy, whether that's you're from a region or you have a fun speech impediment. We love what you're doing.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  I love it. I love the dramatic pauses.

• 1:17:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:01Speaker 06

  It all was good. Anyway, about two days later, my bank account is negative 600 dollars. And I'm like, what the fuck is that?

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  That is terrible.

• 1:18:14Speaker 06

  And anyway, I look through my Apple history purchases and his kid has been

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  He bought you a speech therapist?

• 1:18:25Stavros Halkias?

  BetterHelp is now doing speech therapy as well.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  The dark side of Welcome Back Cotter.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  So, Mr. Woodman came in, he said, can I watch it, kid? I said, why wouldn't I?

• 1:18:38Stavros Halkias?

  This kid fucking drained him on Roblox, probably. What'd he buy? Did he say what he bought on this?

• 1:18:42Speaker 06

  Purchases and his

• 1:18:44Speaker 01

  His purchases.

• 1:18:45Speaker 06

  Has been making in-app purchases on games and totaled up about eight hundred dollars in them. And at first I was kinda like, okay, it's all good, it's all good. I can just dispute it with Apple, it'll be fine. He's a kid, he's gonna make some mistakes. But I disputed with Apple twice and they rejected. They rejected both times.

• 1:19:11Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 1:19:12Speaker 06

  And so I call up my brother and I'm like, hey, man, your kid has

• 1:19:20Speaker 06

  spent about eight hundred dollars of mine on in-app purchases on a video game on my phone.

• 1:19:28Stavros Halkias?

  Like a bad audition. You're pausing in the wrong spots, buddy.

• 1:19:31Speaker 06

  Motherfucker's response was, oh yeah, he does that.

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 1:19:36Speaker 06

  And I'm like, what, what, what the fuck do you mean, he does that?

• 1:19:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, I hear the fire in your voice.

• 1:19:41Speaker 06

  And so I asked him, I said, look, I, I don't, I hate to do this to you, but he's your kid and I've tried to dispute it. But now I, I, I'm gonna need that money back. I'm gonna need you to pay me.

• 1:19:58Speaker 06

  And he's just flat out refusing to do it.

• 1:20:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:20:03Speaker 06

  And so

• 1:20:06Speaker 06

  I don't know. Look, that's a lot of money to me.

• 1:20:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a lot of money.

• 1:20:10Speaker 06

  A lot of money to me. And it set me back quite a bit at the moment.

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Jesus. Well, try to play the games, maybe they're fun.

• 1:20:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the good news is Superman is at level one hundred on, on your fucking DC Heroes game or whatever the fuck he's playing. The good news is you probably bought some cool skins on Fortnite. You can be Peter Griffin now. You can be fucking, you can maybe do, yeah, you can do Stewie, you know what I mean? Like, at least that.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  This guy brought the energy of a one man show in Santa Monica, opening his heart to us. And I'm gonna say it right away, that kid is responsible. He's seven or eight, he already knows how to do all that kinda downloading and all that kinda stuff. So, I guess this kid is a savant.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Who knows what scams he'll come up with?

• 1:20:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  Did he say like, "Oh, I'll, I'll, I'll pay you back when I, you know, hit the prediction market?"

• 1:21:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:01Speaker 03

  My nephew, uh, my nephew put like two grand of my money on the Knicks winning the finals, so I hope

• 1:21:06Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:21:07Speaker 03

  if it doesn't happen, I hope I get the money back.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 03

  I'd like the money back.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  If it happens, great.

• 1:21:12Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, that's not real, is it?

• 1:21:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:21:14Stavros Halkias?

  That'd be awesome.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  This poor guy, his credit card record, that's what's gonna look like weird, cuz up until then, it was like, uh, I guess nasal spray and humidifiers, um, uh, curtains, you know, things like that, and now it's his fun games.

• 1:21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, it's children's games.

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  That's a red flag, they're right there on the, on the account.

• 1:21:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough, because either, either a kid is doing this, or the, or it's a pedophile. There's no way, unless a kid's still, there's, there's nobody else who's spending

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  So what is the best case scenario?

• 1:21:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  The brother is responsible for his child.

• 1:21:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, your brother's a piece of fucking shit.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, he really is responsible for it.

• 1:21:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  And I, also, I would never give a kid my phone.

• 1:21:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, you're, I know.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  If it was my situation, I would take the boy's kidney. Cause my issues, my issues as a learning experience, give me that healthy kidney, you illegal downloader of my money games.

• 1:22:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:05Speaker 03

  The good news is, you don't have to pay me back.

• 1:22:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 03

  The bad news is, he's only got one.

• 1:22:11Speaker 01

  You wake up with a score, what happened? Enjoy your video games, one kidney.

• 1:22:15Speaker 03

  In a tub full of ice.

• 1:22:16Stavros Halkias?

  You wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese, you wanna go to Dave and Buster's, and yeah, he just wakes up, huh?

• 1:22:20Speaker 01

  Let me teach you a little something I learned in Cambodia.

• 1:22:26Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucked, is there any more elders, it'll be pretty much it.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  That's pretty much it.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  How could there be?

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  This is the crime of the century.

• 1:22:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look, your, your brother's a piece of shit, how do you handle it? You gotta like, I mean, be like, "Look dude, you need to give me this money back." Is your brother willing to fucking cut you out of his fucking life? Cause if I, if it were me, I'd be like, I would never let him forget about this. I mean, if it was me, I would absolutely pay my brother. There's no question about it. There's, this isn't, like, for, I, one time, I, I

• 1:23:02Stavros Halkias?

  Although this is a different issue, I guess. I borrowed, I moved a car for a friend when it was like alternate side parking and I didn't see that it was like a fucking school zone or whatever. But I did it. In that case, I ended, ah, fuck, maybe I'm giving contradictory advice. Cause I ended up paying that parking ticket because I, I felt bad.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  You sure? Yeah.

• 1:23:19Speaker 03

  No, that's the right, I think it's the right.

• 1:23:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's, that's.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  This is like parents that don't take responsibility for their kids. It's like when you're on a flight and the kid's just screaming nonstop. I get that sometimes you can't quiet them down, but you gotta try.

• 1:23:31Stavros Halkias?

  Give me an effort.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Give me an effort for, just to appease all the eyes looking at you.

• 1:23:36Stavros Halkias?

  To keep our society, be like, please buddy. You know what I mean? To keep, to keep community.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  You see a parent who's like, fuck them. This is, this is like classic people's court of where like, who is, who is responsible for who? And it's weird that the brother like, uh, he's not gonna make good on his kid. So like, that's a.

• 1:23:58Speaker 03

  It's awful.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  I mean, if he lets him stay there again, you know, then that's really ridiculous, but what do I know?

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  Put that kid to work for you. Get that 600 back, dude.

• 1:24:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true. Get him a worker's permit. Why don't you get like a hamster wheel and maybe, maybe create clean energy that way?

• 1:24:13Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, hook the kid up to some electrodes.

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  I'd like to watch him again this weekend. He's doing deck work.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  That guy did bring the energy of, you remember the, the guys who would, uh, muppet box at the Jizz? Like at, at a show world or something? He had brought that like, I don't have the best job in the world. Let's face it, I made some mistakes. I mop floors with bleach after men enjoy themselves standing. Eight hundred dollars is a lot of money to me.

• 1:24:41Stavros Halkias?

  This is like a tragic minor character in a Brian De Palma movie.

• 1:24:44Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:24:45Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, you know what I mean? He really is the guy mopping up. Yeah, he's at the peep shows mopping it up.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  I'm the last living bathroom attendant.

• 1:24:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I can only, I can only sell so many mints on the black market.

• 1:24:59Speaker 01

  The price of mints, uh, colognes. Altoys forty-two dollars. Uh, hairspray for our Latino friends.

• 1:25:09Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, man. Sorry. You're fucked. Your brother's a piece of shit. Uh, you should force it. You should, you should, you know, appeal to the other members of your family. Shame will help in a situation like this.

• 1:25:20Speaker 01

  Who?

• 1:25:20Stavros Halkias?

  Shame.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Oh, shame.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  Not Shane. Don't ask Shane Gillis for $800. Shame with an M is very important here, because I think this is the kind of thing that if the rest of your family finds out about, like if this happened in my family or one of my friends, for example, you know, babysit, if fucking somebody, eldest babysits somebody's kid and they did it to him, and the guy didn't want to pay him, we would shit on him relentlessly so that he would know it's his fault. So I would say bring this up to the family. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:25:49Speaker 01

  Money is, it will fuck up relationships because it, because it feels like a respect thing.

• 1:25:54Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. And it's also like, I did you a favor watching your fucking kid. And he, like, it's like, he fucked you, your kid fucked me up. This is, this sucks. Like, if he had, like, destroyed your TV, would you buy him a new TV? He basically did that.

• 1:26:11Speaker 01

  Would you, like, but I feel like he was physically afraid of the child, like, it's like, he's 78, he weighs 195 pounds, he's pure muscle, he is raging, he's always banging his head against, you know, it's like one of those things.

• 1:26:25Stavros Halkias?

  He might be, yeah, he might, what they're putting in the fucking hormones these days.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  He put his head through a Legoland window. We are all terrified of him.

• 1:26:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, sorry you had to deal with this little menace. Your brother's a fucking asshole.

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  He's like in the bathroom quietly talking as he's like pounding like, come on, I want a snack.

• 1:26:42Stavros Halkias?

  Gimme a fucking snack pack. Your card got declined, by the way. I'm out of lives on Plants vs. Zombies.

• 1:26:48Speaker 01

  I'm not taking in more of your pills. It's time for me to rage.

• 1:26:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, this is about a fun, quick one to go out on, little buddy.

• 1:26:57Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:27:00Stavros Halkias?

  We're done after this.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  No, no, please, I'm in, I don't think I'm helping much, but it's very interesting.

• 1:27:08Stavros Halkias?

  You almost said it. You started saying enjoying, you're like, uh, not helping.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Well, no. We're here for the people, aren't we?

• 1:27:16Stavros Halkias?

  Aldous?

• 1:27:17Speaker 05

  Hey, stop. I'm a 32-year-old gender-fluid person with...

• 1:27:24Speaker 05

  Beautiful perky, natural double D.

• 1:27:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's what we like.

• 1:27:29Speaker 05

  And I love sucking dick.

• 1:27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:27:33Speaker 05

  And.

• 1:27:33Stavros Halkias?

  Salute. This is the best one.

• 1:27:35Speaker 05

  Recently, I've been having a lot of casual sex, um, with, well, I'm pansexual, so like all kinds of people.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:27:44Speaker 05

  But, um, many of these people have dicks, both cis men and trans women.

• 1:27:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 1:27:53Speaker 05

  And.

• 1:27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Respect, by the way, pause this. I love someone who's, who's suck dick first. I don't care who the cock's attached to. It could be attached to a guy, it could be attached to a trans woman, it could be attached to a non-binary person. The point is, our friend with the perky tissue, they're sucking dick and I respect them for that.

• 1:28:10Speaker 03

  This woman is living the life that only Sean and Sean have.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  Where, where are these calls coming from? They must all know each other.

• 1:28:20Speaker 03

  Is it the same comfort in, in the small town near an airport?

• 1:28:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Uh, our caller here keeps telling the story. It's like, and I'm trying to suck dick in my room, but my roommates won't stop fucking.

• 1:28:33Speaker 03

  We needed a babysitting one to cleanse our palate from all this dick sucking. This is crazy.

• 1:28:37Stavros Halkias?

  All right, finish this up here, LD.

• 1:28:39Speaker 05

  And I've been hearing a lot, wow, you're really good at that.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:28:45Speaker 05

  When I'm going down on people with dicks.

• 1:28:49Speaker 05

  To the point where I'm like, does that even mean anything?

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  It does.

• 1:28:54Speaker 05

  Do you guys say that to everyone who sucks their dick?

• 1:28:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:28:57Speaker 05

  Or am I actually really good at that?

• 1:28:59Stavros Halkias?

  You, let me tell you, you are.

• 1:29:00Speaker 05

  Let me know what you think. I.

• 1:29:02Stavros Halkias?

  You certainly are. You're, you're a rare talent.

• 1:29:04Speaker 03

  If you're good, I say you're really good. And if you're bad, I'm like, please stop. There's no, there's no, you know, there's no, you're bad at this.

• 1:29:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  That's amazing, or nah, let's do something else.

• 1:29:15Stavros Halkias?

  Or you quickly move on to penetrative intercourse.

• 1:29:17Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:29:18Stavros Halkias?

  You get, you, you let them do their, for their self-esteem, you let them suck your dick a little bit? You don't want them to think, you don't want them to have a complex about being bad at sucking dick?

• 1:29:26Speaker 03

  Your dick looks like a dog shoe, Toby. Like, no, it was good. It was good.

• 1:29:29Stavros Halkias?

  Funny.

• 1:29:30Speaker 03

  Let's just, let's move positions real quick and get me an ice pack.

• 1:29:33Stavros Halkias?

  They half circumcised me while, while sucking me off. I had to go to, I had to go to my urologist to get it reattached. I had to have a negative, a reverse bris after I got my dick sucked. Anyway.

• 1:29:46Speaker 01

  I would love to be, like, you ever go to like a Starbucks in the middle of the day and there's always like the people, the brooders, like, is there someone like that? They're like, I wonder if I'm just awesome at sucking dick or are they just saying it?

• 1:29:57Speaker 01

  What's the bathroom code again here? This beautiful woman just like, oh, man, you know, I'm like Spider-Man, you know, it's like a gift and a curse, but I'm like the best dick sucker, but I don't know if they really think so.

• 1:30:10Speaker 03

  I think, I think people tell me they're amazing at sucking dick, who I'm just like friendly, and I'm like, it's just a weird thing to throw into a conversation. Yeah. Well, now I'm wondering.

• 1:30:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, I mean, you can't, you can't tell me you, you're the best at making fucking, uh, you know.

• 1:30:22Speaker 01

  Pancakes?

• 1:30:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, pancakes or a croque monsieur and not serve it to me afterwards.

• 1:30:28Speaker 03

  I had a woman who was my manager once tell me she had to break him. She's like, good luck finding the best blowjob again, cause I give it. And I was like, I don't think you should have told me that.

• 1:30:35Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:30:36Speaker 01

  She's managing herself.

• 1:30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Starting, yeah, her good, little good PR.

• 1:30:40Speaker 01

  This woman sounds awesome.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you sound sick. Um, I, I love what you're up to and, uh, you know, I will say, yes, I think, I think getting that compliment over, I don't think everybody's getting that compliment and I think you're just a talent and enjoy it. You love it. They're, they're loving it. Yeah, this is, this is.

• 1:31:02Speaker 03

  This is not a problem.

• 1:31:03Stavros Halkias?

  Again, but you know what? It was a fun one to go out on and I also like that you, you put a, a perky, gender fluid person in our minds. Now I'm thinking about them, their big ass titties.

• 1:31:13Speaker 03

  I'm thinking like Velma from Scooby Doo who just sucks a mean dick.

• 1:31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe some blue hair, something cool, maybe a cool piercing and they're sucking all types of dick and for that we salute you, our friend.

• 1:31:22Speaker 01

  Believe in yourself.

• 1:31:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. How low is your self-esteem where you can't even, you don't even think you're good at sucking dick? You are, and we love that about you. Thank you to everyone who called in, even the, even people without huge tits that are good at sucking dick. We appreciate you. Dave, thank you for christening the studio.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, what an honor. Honestly, great time. Both of you guys, my faves. So just hang with you guys.

• 1:31:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're the best.

• 1:31:48Speaker 01

  Always good times.

• 1:31:49Stavros Halkias?

  And if first, if somehow we have, we've gotten a lot of like YouTube people, a lot of people who aren't stand up first, if you haven't seen David tell stuff, the best comic, truly.

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  Let me give you a taste with some shadow puppets. Woo, what's up? I'm the best at sucking dick.

• 1:32:07Speaker 03

  Hopefully I'm playing to a crowd full of Shans. I can't wait.

• 1:32:13Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, everybody. We will, we will see you next time. Bye bye.