Richard Perez is Completely Fabulous

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Richard Perez! Richard and Caleb talk Truman Capote’s swans, the many pitfalls of Find My Friends, Toronto, and so much more! Want more Richard? Click here! https://linktr.ee/richard_perez Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Richard! @richard_perez Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. Thank you to Hinge! So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Anna Weis. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:08Speaker 03

  I have not been that nervous in a while.

• 1:10Speaker 04

  It's horrifying.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11Speaker 04

  Isn't it fun?

• 1:12Speaker 03

  There was like a knot in my throat like.

• 1:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, maybe, yeah.

• 1:25Speaker 04

  Richard.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 1:26Speaker 04

  Hey gorgeous.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:28Speaker 04

  How's it going?

• 1:29Speaker 03

  Um, it's going, it's going okay. It's going pretty well, but I, um, um, I'm so worried that, I guess it's like the things that are going through my mind right now is I'm a little nervous.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  And I'm worried that this, because of my lack of sleep and like my energy right now.

• 1:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  That this is gonna be on my end, I'm gonna be boring.

• 1:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  I'm so scared I'm gonna be boring.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  In this recording.

• 1:55Speaker 04

  I've never seen you be boring, so it feels really hard to imagine.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  But sometimes like I can be like in a conversation.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  That's like, can I just say?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  As, as, um, kind of like, how do I put this? As like, as like gay jesters.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Which we both are.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  As gay jesters, it's just sometimes, it's hard to explain to people that sometimes it's giving boring.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  It's giving boring, it's gonna give boring.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  Sometimes I give boring and that's okay.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  I follow the social script sometimes in such a lazy way.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Like, I.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  I've always said that about you.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  I, yeah.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  It's like one of my top three things. I'm like really funny, super nice, follows the social script in such a lazy way.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Lazy way.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  And sometimes I do, I'm just like, the weather, oh, it's raining. I was like, good, I'd like, uh, when Chance like, met me outside, I was just like, gonna talk about the weather.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Which sometimes that is so interesting, like sometimes there is something there, we're all experiencing it and we all know what that's like. We know what rain is like, we know what like, 1:00 PM on a Monday, it's raining, traffic, whatever, like we, we kinda know those. It's just boring.

• 3:12Speaker 04

  Do you find, no, it's not. Did you, do you find yourself falling prey to this a lot? That you're like talking about something you don't care about because it feels like the thing to do?

• 3:18Speaker 03

  I guess so.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  A little bit sometimes.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  I, by the way, I love that shit.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  That is, I don't even fall prey to it, I seek it out. I love, I love to be like, oh, the, me and the people at my front desk have some of the most banal conversations you can possibly imagine.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  At, at my building, I'll walk in and be like, it is a scorcher out there. And they'll be like, it's so hot. And I'll be like, but it's kinda nice to be in the AC, right? And we'll do this over and over again.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  You see Caleb, like, but that is so, some people are so good at it.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  That is so cool, like, that, like.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  No, like there's times that it's like, like I'll be with a friend and like, we're talking to like, either like a waiter, like, or another person that's at the store to a retail or whatever, like. And they're having, we're having small talk, but they are engaging with, to ask like, wait, what'd you say? You were like, it's a scorcher out there, right?

• 4:19Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, I love that one.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  And then you said, what?

• 4:22Speaker 04

  It's nice to be in the AC.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  It's nice to be in the AC, right?

• 4:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  To ask that?

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  That's so charming, that's so like.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  This is all I have.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Where for me, like, I would just be like, yeah, it's like so hot outside.

• 4:37Speaker 04

  So you're really just the AC question off?

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 04

  That's the one missing piece.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  I don't, yeah, I just, I just have to come up with more follow-ups.

• 4:45Speaker 04

  Some people find it charming, some people don't. I will say, I, I like to bring, I like to bring servers in on bits a lot. I'm really, I'm, I'm, no matter what the context of the dinner is, and I will say I've been on some dates where I find out very quickly that this person is not gonna be charmed by my whole deal. I'm like asking the server like, who's your favorite table tonight? Who's giving you trouble? And I can sometimes, I have been on dates where I just see the person's eyes kinda shift to like, well, this is now an experiment and no longer a viable romantic. You know what I mean? And I'm, and I mean it, I wanna get into it with the server.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  I love that shit, I don't have anything else.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  I know, me too.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  This is my whole life.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  I do, but then I, um, like, I don't know, I think I still revert to with the server. I'm like pretending they're like right here. I like still, I think I like still revert to like, being like 16 or something, or like 15, like, a lot, my first time alone at a restaurant or something, like in my hometown or whatever. And I'm like, oh yeah, thank you, yeah.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  And if they're trying to spark like a little bit of conversation, I'm like, my heart's racing, but I'm like trying to find a, I'm like, just be honest, like, just, you can talk to people.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  What's your fear?

• 6:08Speaker 03

  I think maybe, I can't tell if it's like, what is the fear? I like, I don't, I'm not enough. I'm not enough.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  I think you're powerful beyond measure. Richard, I think you're powerful beyond measure. You have a really funny bit in your show, which I just saw and is brilliant.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Oh my God, thank you so much.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  And I hope you're putting it up more very soon.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Yes, I am.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  Thank God. Um, but you have such a funny bit in it that, we can cut this if you don't want me to spoil it, but you're like, talking to somebody at dinner. And the tone is very like, we're here, we're talking, we're having dinner, it's dinner tone. And then an invisible server comes and you raise your voice and look up to a height that is so unbelievably funny. Like I truly laughed about it the next day, about you just being like, yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah. The chicken piccata, yeah. Like truly, looking like truly into the ceiling, like, it fucking killed me, dude. It's so funny.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Thank you, thank you Caleb.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  I love the show.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  What inspired it?

• 7:12Speaker 03

  Um, I, so I started working on the show in 2022. Um, and even like the title of it, I Have To Do This, like, I kinda like, I mean, I don't know, like there, there's a few like scenes that I guess I've already have thought about and like. Like there was this lady I was dog sitting for, actually near here, on the beginning of that year. And she had a really nice kitchen sink and I propped my phone up and I was doing her dishes. And I just started filming myself doing dishes.

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  But then I started like pretending that someone's, like my boyfriend, like imaginary boyfriend is like kissing my neck or something and trying to be like cute with me while I'm like, and I'm like, stop, like, what are you doing?

• 8:08Speaker 03

  And, um, it really did something to me. And so I, um, I made a few, I did a few different takes and then I like shared it online and, um, I don't know, I just thought it was so funny. And so then, at that time too, I was like really deeply figuring out like live material and like performing on stage, doing comedy and, cause I was like fairly new. And, um, then by the end of that year, I don't know, like eventually this one time I, in the summer, I had this like, night where I had two shows or something. And at that time, that was like a huge deal.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  I was like, two stand-up shows? What am I gonna do? And I was so nervous and I'm just like, like trying to figure out like, do I do new material? Like what am I gonna, like, I have nothing, like, I don't know, blah, blah, blah. And then I've just been thinking about this idea for a while. I'm like, what if I just like lied to the audience and I tell them I have a play? And, and I even like a little punchline in the, describing it to them that it would be called, I Have To Do This.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  And that someone's like making me do the show or something. So I don't know, I feel like it's, it kinda started from like that place of just like, well, one, me like just like, exploring and like reckoning with like my own relationship with performing, but also like, uh, just. Living in like some sort of fantasy of like a rom-com sort of romance or whatever, like playing, playing with like that, like bedroom fantasy. Like I think a lot of people act out alone, like at home, like, do you ever do that?

• 9:53Speaker 04

  Like act out being in a relationship at home?

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Well, I don't wanna say no, because I, I want you to feel very connected to me right now.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  But the answer is.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  No.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Not really.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  But I don't, I don't.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  No, but like, I mean, like, I don't know, like, do you ever like, when you're in bed, like, it's just like.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Do you ever like do that?

• 10:16Speaker 04

  Just like, just like pretend someone's over there?

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  I don't.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  But I will say.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Me too, me too, me too.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  Specifically like cuddling in bed is a sight of anxiety for me in relationships.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  I don't like, I, it's not I don't like, I struggle with another person in my bed.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  And I have not been in a relationship where it has ceased to be my bed and become our bed with somebody. And I, and I pray for it someday, Richard. I hope it happens.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  But I, someone in the bed is so like, I'm supposed to be in here alone sleeping. What the hell are you doing in here?

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean?

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I do, yeah.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  I mean, so much of the show that I just saw of yours is like really well observed. I feel like it's very self-aware. There's some really, there's really great, small stuff about who this person is as a character.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Um, that I loved. And the stuff that's observed about relationships, I think is so smart and fantastic. How are you in relationships? Are you anxious?

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Well, I've never been in one.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  No?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  No. And so, so I'm thirty-five.

• 11:23Speaker 04

  You're thirty-five?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  And, okay, so tell me what's happened?

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Basically, um, I felt like I started, well, in high school, closeted.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  But I was always like this. Like, everyone knew. Everyone.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  You're like, first of all, I'm straight.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, guys. Yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  Let's get one thing out of the way.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Let's get one thing out of the way. I'm straight. Everyone's like, okay.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  And I was like, I'm going to art school. And everyone was like, okay.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  They're like, totally.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Yes, you do it.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  And I think we know the project that'll come out of that.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  I think I know the kind of posts we'll be seeing pretty quickly in art school.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  I know. In my mind, I was like, um, because I went to school for photography. And I was like, that's like, because deep down, when we were, um, it was like junior year or something, and you're like, getting closer to like, okay, I gotta decide like what major, like what am I gonna do as far as like college goes? And I was like, thinking to myself, like, I was like, well, I fell, I fell in love with this sort of creative practice, photography. But I always wanted to be an actor.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  And so I was like, but everyone's gonna, everyone's gonna like, know I'm gay.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Because you're doing photography?

• 12:50Speaker 03

  No, because I'm doing acting.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Okay, I love that.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Like theater school.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Got it, got it.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Blah, blah. And I was like, photography, that's pretty straight. And then truly like, and at that time, I'm not, I wasn't really much of a musicals person, like, and that's like so like my own repressed sort of thing. And, um, I felt like not accepted by like the theater community from like my high school. Um, but, uh, I saw Rent, like the movie. Um, and then the, the straight guy in it is a photographer or filmmaker. There's that guy who always brings the camera around.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh, I'm just like him.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  That makes me, that makes me so both wanna laugh and also sad and wanna hug you from them.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  You being like, I'm the guy with the camera from Rent.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  I'm just the guy with the camera.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  That's me.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  That's me.

• 13:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  And I'm sensitive and, and that's just how I am.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  And you can be sensitive and a straight man, by the way.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Yes, you can.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  And take your photos.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  And then, and also like in high school, I just like, I don't know, I just like really fell in love with it. And like, this was like, for high school, high school for me was like, MySpace was ending, Facebook was like popping off. So there was like that transition, like area, like era. And, uh, but I feel like I eventually like, just taking pictures of my friends, which most of my friends were girls.

• 14:19Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  And.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  You're just laying out the textbook, kind of, yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Literally all my friends, and then my best friend, gay guy.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  The only thing that could be gayer than that is if it was a straight guy that you were secretly in love with. Of course.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, which would, yeah, that was later, that was later.

• 14:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  But I, um, so I would take pictures of my girls. And I put it like, I would put it online, like they would also put them online, and then more girls would reach out. Girls from other towns. Girls from other towns were like, I need you to take my picture.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  I'll pay you fifty bucks. Let's go to a field in Branchburg, wherever the hell, New Jersey. We'll go, whatever, we'll take pictures. And I was living, I was like, oh my God, this is everything. And I'm like, I'm gonna be the next Jürgen Teller.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  And, um, but yeah, whatever, I'm straight. And so then like, I, I, um, wait, what was the question? It was about dating or some, I.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  It was about relationships and what your relationship situation is.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Yes. So then, um.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  So high school was like your Truman Capote and his swans.

• 15:32Speaker 04

  Sort of era. You're just collecting swans from every township in Jersey.

• 15:41Speaker 04

  Except you're photographing them for pay.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  Well, yes.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  Well, yes.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  I did. And then, um, but then I, I got to college. I didn't, um, I didn't hook up with anyone, or I was just way too anxious. And just gradually, eventually I was just like, like I met this guy, I became really close with this guy, um, in like sophomore year. I wonder if he'll listen to this. I, um, we got really close. And then he, he was straight and I like fell in love with him.

• 16:17Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  And then that was like the first like.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  Whoosh. Yep. That's the big one.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Fuck, I bet that hurts so bad.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Really bad.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Really bad. And then, and then I think, well, because of that, then I had to open up to my friends in college and let them know. I was like, and at first I framed it. I was like, I'm bisexual. I wanted to keep the door open.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  You know, classic. Class, I'm so classic.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Totally. And you might have been, by the way.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  And maybe I am.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  Maybe you are, maybe you are.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Maybe I am, and I just don't know that yet, okay?

• 16:56Speaker 04

  Completely.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Maybe I am, whatever.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  Completely. But that first unrequited heartbreak.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, that.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Foundational.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  Foundational text.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  And then, um, and then I transferred schools, because I went to a two-year program, to school that doesn't exist anymore in Delaware. And then I transferred to Pratt. And, uh, the friends I made in Delaware, we all had the same idea. So we moved. So I was like really lucky. I moved here with a group of friends.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  And, um, and then like, I just feel like I didn't, I, I don't know, I didn't date or anything. Like, I was really, really anxious around it.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  But you were out to your friends at this point?

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Yes, as bisexual.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  You were out to your friends as bisexual after you got your heart broken by a straight guy and transferred to New York?

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  It's classic.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Classic.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  Exactly. How you ever arrived to New York, by the way?

• 17:50Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  If you can move to New York in any way, I just wanna say to anyone listening, make sure that you get your heart broken by a straight person.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Uh, are transferring schools and are flirting with the idea of being bi. That's the best way to come to New York City.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Truly.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  If you get your way.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Truly.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  I had to come as like an already out gay guy, boring.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  You were already like.

• 18:11Speaker 04

  Seen it, yeah, that was boring. So, but back to you. You came to Pratt.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  I came to Pratt.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  You did not date due to.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Just like sphere.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  Course.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  And then, um.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  One of the classic emotions.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so then like, uh, but I remember senior year, or the summer going into senior year. I, I remember I like, because I turned twenty-one, so going to like bars and stuff like, it was just like everything. I'm like, this is fab.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  Um, and this guy from my photo class, we like hung out. Like this one night, he was like, do you wanna like get a drink? Like, we both were staying here in the summer. And I was like, okay. In hindsight, I was like, was it like a little bit like, was there a vibe? Like, I don't know.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  I can tell you that I'm shipping.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 04

  I can tell you, we're all on the edge of our fucking seats.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  I know, I know. And I was like, what? But nothing happened between him and I.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  What?

• 19:10Speaker 03

  We never kissed, like nothing happened.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  He was a gay guy?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  He was a gay guy.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Oh, Richard.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  But, but I have no, but I think he, I know he was dating someone and they're still together.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  That doesn't mean anything to gay guys.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I know, I know, but I don't know.

• 19:24Speaker 04

  You know gay guys?

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Yes, I do, I.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Dating somebody means nothing.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  I know.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  It's less than a roommate at most times.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  Most gay guys have a more serious relationship with their postal man. Than their boyfriend, than their, their boyfriend?

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Oh my God, to be a boyfriend to a gay guy is like, it's like being their barista or something.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  It's totally unserious. It could change at the drop of a hat. It's transactional.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  It's transactional.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  You meet a gay guy who's been married for like twenty years and he's like, oh, that's just my husband. Like, it's really not serious.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Okay, so nothing happens with this guy?

• 20:00Speaker 03

  So nothing, nothing happened between us. But there was this moment where this, this drunk lady was chatting us up. And she was like, are you guys gay?

• 20:12Speaker 04

  First of all.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  And like we paused, he's like, I am.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  And I was like, me too.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  That was the first time I ever said that.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  Oh my God.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  I low-key wanna cry. Does that make sense?

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  That's beautiful.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Oh my God, I love that.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  And it happened literally like a few blocks away from here.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  Stop.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  So I'm feeling really a full circle right now. Yeah.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Me saying exactly where we are.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, and then, um, and then like after college, then like I started to, I really like, like.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  I told my brother and

• 21:02Speaker 04

  Older, younger?

• 21:02Speaker 03

  Younger.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Straight?

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:04Speaker 04

  Oh, how'd it go?

• 21:05Speaker 03

  He was so sweet about it until he told my mom.

• 21:08Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  And then that caused like tension.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, mom not cool with it.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  Mom not into it.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, so then that was like, that was, I was like twenty two or twenty three. And uh, and I got like my first job. And so like, I don't know, it was like an adult or something like in New York, like feeling really like, okay, well, I'm

• 21:37Speaker 03

  like uh, living my life like as, like now that this thing is like out of the cat's out of the bag, like, I'm just gonna, I just gotta do this.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  And then um, but then, yeah, I think since then, I was like twenty two, twenty three to now, my relationship to dating has been like

• 21:58Speaker 03

  I don't know, like I

• 22:03Speaker 03

  I, I guess I've just always been, like in my early twenties, I always thought that it was just that other people didn't want me, or something that like I have to wait for someone to pick me.

• 22:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  And then if I get chosen, then like, we can make this work. But, but then I'm like, in hindsight, I'm like, I also think that I put up barriers and I like, do have a, an issue with like intimacy or something, or like uh, yeah, like I also got in, I got in my own way or something, and maybe I just wasn't ready or didn't, I don't know.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Well, there's an inherent like um, I think signal that we give off.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 22:48Speaker 04

  When I spent, I relate to a lot of this, but I spent a good portion of like the beginning of my twenties feeling like undesirable, and my, of course, my teen years, but that's like, I feel like that's given. But yeah, I felt undesirable and I felt like nobody would want me. And I look back and there are so many things that I'm like, that person either was into you or could have been into you. But we spend so much time, like, when you really believe that you're undesirable, or that someone would not want you, you put out this signal, whether you know it or not, that is like, that almost convinces people not to be into you.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean?

• 23:22Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Not saying that that's what was happening with you, but that's what was happening with me.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  But I really relate to that.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  I really, really like

• 23:29Speaker 04

  It's like a self fulfilling prophecy.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  It's like, I am undesirable.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 04

  I believe that, the universe is hearing me say that, and now other people are getting the signal that I am undesirable.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  People don't want me, people don't want me, people don't want me, and then I really think I like put out like some sort of energy or some sort of, or how I like engaged with with people, like, I don't know, I just, I think I, I wasn't open.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  To it.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  I think when you say that too, there's sometimes like people will, like

• 24:00Speaker 04

  confidence won't get you everybody, like it's not like being confident will just make anyone attracted to you.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  But like not, not uh, believing that anyone should be into you certainly won't get you anybody.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 04

  That you, at least not anybody that you should be having, you know what I mean?

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  The people who are into that are crazy, like, people who are into like weak partners are, that's a whole other problem.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  That's, yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 04

  That's actually really scary.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  That's scary.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  That's so scary.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  And that could have happened.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  You know?

• 24:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Thank goodness it didn't.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Like, and yeah, like I feel, and also I, throughout my twenties, like, my drinking just like crescendoed and spiraled out and

• 24:42Speaker 04

  Big drinker?

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Like, yeah, and then I stopped drinking uh, when I was twenty eight, and then I haven't since.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Now, how did you stop drinking? Did you do a program or were you just like, I'm done with this?

• 24:53Speaker 03

  I just um, I, it was over lockdown, which was crazy.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  But um, but it really, for me, I just well, someone confronted me like a few months before lockdown, so I just like thought about it for a bit.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  And then I was just like, and then quite literally, I just could not afford it.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Lost my job, like lockdown started, like, I was just like, all right, I gotta

• 25:23Speaker 03

  just try it.

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  And not give in to this right now and see what happens. And then June, I finally got my like uh, unemployment, I was waiting forever for unemployment to, so I've, I got like back pay.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  So I got like five thousand dollars.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  And I was like, I could like, pretty much drink all of this, like, for the next like month or so. Um, but I'm like, let me not do that, like I just, let me just keep seeing this.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  And I still was like trying to make sense of, I'm like, well, I don't, I don't think I really have like an issue with this, or I don't know, like, blah, blah, whatever. And then eventually like I was um brought to this uh, program, this type of like Zoom program type of thing, and then they connected me to a therapist that I was seeing who, who's been sober for twenty years.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 26:13Speaker 03

  And we uh, unpacked a lot of things together.

• 26:16Speaker 04

  I have so many questions. If I, if I asked you about the confrontation, would you tell me or you're not, don't want to talk about it?

• 26:21Speaker 03

  The confrontation?

• 26:22Speaker 04

  You're like, someone confronted me.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  About the drinking.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  I'll talk about it.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  What was that like? Who, who, why, what, how?

• 26:28Speaker 03

  It was like another, it was like a classic, there's like a pattern that repeated where it was like a straight guy that I had feelings for.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  That I was friends with.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  And

• 26:38Speaker 04

  Just immediately hard to be on his side. Hearing that it was a straight guy, I'm like, you shouldn't be confronting anyone.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  He was different.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  I would say it sounds like for the best, but immediately when I heard that, I was like, excuse me?

• 26:50Speaker 03

  He was different.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  He was different. Straight guy friend you had feelings for.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  He was different, he was straight, but like kind of fruity.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Love. What was the confrontation? He was, he was like, he was like, hey, when you drink, you're really handsy.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  And I'm not down with all that.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I told you I'm not gay.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  You keep trying to kiss me when you're drunk.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  It feels like a sober motive is somewhere in there, I don't know.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  No, like um, cause I feel like um around, like when I first started drinking like in college to then, I think, I mean, I, I think like quite often, especially when I was like going through different like, like turmoil, different changes, or I just feel like I was that person that like would worry everyone, and I would get so wasted and then end up like weeping and then like run away and like scare everyone.

• 27:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  They're like, not answering my phone, like, being crazy.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Some of the classic behaviors of getting drunk, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  And um, and then also I think like just some of my like repressed like anger, like I was just like like kind of like lash out a little, forget like, have like a bite to me.

• 28:07Speaker 04

  Oh, I have some friends that, when they've had more than three drinks, either I go somewhere they're not, or or I need to also get drunk because the, I know some very sweet people that are mean drunks.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:19Speaker 04

  And I don't enjoy it.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  And I was kind of like that.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  That's, happens sometimes.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, and so like uh, basically I have this like um meltdown type of thing, I like run into him, cause I used to go out, go out alone a lot too.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Before lockdown slash like getting sober, but also before performing live, I used to go out alone to, I would go to Pyramid Club like every week and go out dancing there, and I got to like meet, you know, I met other people that are also regulars there and like got to know the people that work there and like some of my best friends like also like would come with me sometimes, but like on the weekends, you know?

• 29:02Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  And then I would do karaoke a lot, and I think I was just like microdosing like performing, cause I wanted to perform.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  But I was really scared to start. And so anyways, this one night I run into him, oh, I was like really, really, I like went, I think I, before I ran into him, I was at a it was like, I was working at a startup and they had like a holiday party, so I was gone.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  You were fucking ripped off the startup.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Free.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's go.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Free startup alcohol.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  Open bar.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Gone.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Hell yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  And then I was like, I gotta sing.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Time to sing.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Time to sing my song. Time to sing my songs, guys.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Completely obsessed.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  And I'm like walking over to, I went to Asia Roma first. Don't know what happened, and then I went to Upstairs Bar.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  And then I run into him, I don't remember what, I just remember I was just like rude to him. But then he got concerned, cause I like I, I, there was some sort of, some, him and I never talked about it, we never unpacked it. Um, and I closed the door, but basically like, I left and then from his POV, this is what I imagine, him and I are talking at the bar, it's called Upstairs Bar, so there's stairs that lead you there. And we're talking and I'm like, whatever, and whoa, I'm leaving, bye. And then I, I walk out, slam the door, and then I think from him, he, all he heard probably was I slid down the stairs.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  No, the worst. Not your dramatic exit ruined by a farce.

• 30:54Speaker 04

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• 36:24Speaker 03

  And at that time, I like was in between apartments. I was like crashing on a few couches. And so, yeah, he texted the person I was staying with, like he was really concerned. So then, the next day, he just like reached out as if like nothing, just sent me a meme. And just to be like, ha ha.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Was it a meme about someone falling down the stairs? Or was it just completely unrelated?

• 36:48Speaker 03

  It was unrelated.

• 36:49Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  I think, I think, yeah. And then, um, I was just kind of like, I should say something, like I, my behavior was like inappropriate. And so I sent him a message and I was like, and I think, to be honest, this thing is coming up. I have, I think I have feelings for you, and I think part of my like behavior is like trying to navigate that or reconcile with it or something, and I'm taking it out on you, and I'm sorry. But then, but he was like, I understand, like, you know, like, I've, of course, like, he's experienced that too, or, you know, like an unrequited type of thing. But he was like, I'm more concerned about your drinking.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  And I think if you don't do something about it, it's gonna get worse. And I was so upset.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  Like, were you defensive, like, he's wrong? Or were you, okay.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  And we, we still haven't talked since.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  No way.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  But so how long after that conversation did you go like, oh, fuck, the drinking is a problem?

• 37:56Speaker 03

  It probably, it took me a while, I think. I probably, because that happened at the end of 2019 and then beginning of 2020 was when I stopped.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  And then I probably feel like by that end, so maybe it took like a year. And then, and then like a year and a half, I was just like, okay, yeah, like, I'm really glad he said that.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  And have you ever, and you've never talked to him since then?

• 38:17Speaker 03

  We haven't talked since.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  And so, yeah, but if he's listening, thank you.

• 38:23Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, that's so beautiful. Does he, do you think he still lives and do you know anything about what he's up to?

• 38:27Speaker 03

  I have no idea.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Wow, interesting.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  I really, I wish I didn't handle it that way.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  But, um, but yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm really happy he did.

• 38:38Speaker 04

  It's the most logical response, when someone brings up something big and like cutting to the core and like foundational. The most logical thing is to be like, well, that person's fucking crazy.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Uh, project much? I don't think I have a life-altering problem, I think you're fucking jealous.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're jealous, you're jealous of me.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  You're jealous of how much fun I have.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I'm trying to say quoi?

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, hello?

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Je veux vivre.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  Je deviens.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  I sing.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  Hello, I sing my songs.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  I sing my songs alone.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  Alone, while I'm out, alone.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Alone. What, you would do that?

• 39:11Speaker 04

  And I run into you and treat you weird. That is so funny.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Damn, well, shout out to him.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Shout out to him.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  Really shout out to him in many ways.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Yes. And, um, and then, yeah, and then I feel like the first, like, year and a half of not drinking, then like things started opening up again with like venues and bars, like, you know, at the end of 20, or summer of 2021.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  And then that's when I started like, I'd been making like videos and stuff like that online, but never gone viral or anything like that. Like, it's just a gradually more like New York, like comedians would like start to find me a little bit, like little by little. And then they started reaching out and being like, oh, like, would you want to do like a set?

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  On the show, would you want to? I don't know, and I just felt like I was like, well, I gotta say yes to learn how to figure out who I am in this context, and I just got to try. I was so scared, it was crazy.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  Of course, it's scary as hell when you start.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  I feel like if you're not scared when you start, you're either an idiot or a sociopath.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  It should be scary. It really should be scary.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  It's a scary thing to do, especially, I think particularly, there's a real like, I think about audacity a lot as a concept and like what that even means and why we hate it so much. Like, we really, I think as a culture, we really, we despise people with audacity, but we like revere them. We like, we, we value audacity as like this very cool thing to have, but then we really despise a lot of people for having it. And particularly with humor, the idea of standing up in front of a room of people and being like, I am so funny.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  That I should be up here alone with this thing, and you should all be sitting there listening intently. That is like a huge amount of audacity, and so of course it's scary. That's a crazy thing to do.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  It's really psycho.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  That any of us do it is crazy.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  I know, it is crazy.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  And you are that funny, you should be doing it, so it makes sense.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  But of course it's scary. Are you good at living presently?

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Um, hmm, sometimes I have my moments.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have my moments, and I eat.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, there are times I'm good at living in the present, and in those moments, honey, I eat.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  I'm eating.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'm bad at it, I think. I can't decide, I'm either amazing at it or maybe the worst person to ever do it.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  Actually, I don't know. Am I present right now? I'm like.

• 41:49Speaker 04

  I think you're present, I think you're being very present right now.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  Yeah? I feel like you are too.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  I feel really good at being present on this show, actually. I randomly do feel like, no matter what is going on, I can lock in to do this podcast.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  Doesn't really matter what else is going on, I am really able to sit in this chair and have a conversation. And God bless y'all, keep watching, keep watching. Y'all, if you can hear me.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Watching.

• 42:13Speaker 04

  Keep watching, share, like, subscribe, tell your friends, never, ever, ever post a mean thing about me, be sweet, share the show, but.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  I hope that they're listening. I hope they didn't click out.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  They haven't clicked out.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Of this episode?

• 42:28Speaker 04

  They haven't clicked out of this episode.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  They haven't clicked out of this episode. We, this, this episode, this episode is one that I'm really enjoying, Richard.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  I'm enjoying it too.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  We don't also, by the way, it's funny, there is a lot of anxiety that people have around coming on this show. People get really nervous. People I've never seen be nervous before act so insane to me and Chance and Virginia and Michelle. I don't know if it makes its way to Nicole directly. Of course, she bears, Nicole edits the show. She bears all the consequences of the insanity. But people that, cool as a cucumber, coolest people you've ever met, dear friends, texting me 3 a.m. cold sweat panic. Two weeks after recording, the thing I said about Obama, it has to go. It has to go. It just like crazy like, like, my ex watches, my ex watches, my ex watches. Please, Chance, can you help me, please? Is it too late, Chance? My ex. They cannot be mentioned, Chance. We must cut, Chance.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  It's the craziest shit I have ever seen in my life. People that I've never seen behave this way.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  And you know, we welcome it. We say, no worries.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  I mean, it's just like, yeah, it's, it can be quite, um, it's quite vulnerable.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  It is very vulnerable and I feel also that it, because we don't do a strictly, like, I have always said, this show, regardless of how the fans feel about it, the show is not, uh, intended to be anything. It's like whatever we want it to be. Sometimes there's a serious episode, sometimes there's a sweet episode, sometimes there's a funny one, sometimes I come in and I'm in a stupid insane psychotic energy. And then we have to do a stupid episode and God love the guests on those days.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  But yeah, the show is, the show is whatever it turns into and I think because there's no gimmick, it can stress people out because I think it randomly becomes kind of revealing.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally. Yeah, cause like we're just stepping into like a conversation that's like, cause right now so far, it's just been like, I don't know, this, this maybe would be what it's like for you and I alone.

• 44:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Oh my God. By the way, I listened to Sydney Washington's episode.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  The latest one.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you guys mentioned me.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, we did.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  You said very kind things, both of you. Thank you so much.

• 44:32Speaker 04

  I meant, I meant them. I'm very earnest and genuine.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I really appreciate that.

• 44:36Speaker 04

  Sydney is, um.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  Sydney's.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  No.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  Sydney Washington.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  Sydney Washington.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Is a very nefarious player. She's a disingenuous character. No, I love her so much. She's the fucking best.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Sydney Washington.

• 44:54Speaker 04

  She's the best. She called me the other day and she goes, she, she calls, she loves to call out of the blue, which I love about her. And she calls, she calls out of the blue and she goes, what are we doing for July 4th? What is the plan?

• 45:06Speaker 04

  I go, Sid, I don't know. I'm not hearing anything interesting. It's all like beach or rooftop. And I, neither is really speaking to me at the moment. Who knows what will happen? And she goes, you know, I just talked to Marie. Marie hasn't heard a plan. If Marie hasn't heard a plan, it's dry. It's dry. It's dry. You know it's dry when Marie hasn't heard a plan. I'm like, I agree with that sentiment. And I don't know what we're gonna do. And she was like, all right, well, keep me in the loop. I love you.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  I love that. I love that. I love that.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  It's my girl.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Cause I feel like there's times like, yeah, I see her at like shows in the green room and, or like once in a while, like she'll be entering, like getting out of a phone call.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  A FaceTime or something like with her. And I'm just like, I love that. I love like, uh, I don't know, it's better than like texting or something, especially when it's like that kind of thing.

• 45:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, why not? Just make it like that.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Be like a direct, clear like.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  She's one of the sweetest, most special souls I have ever encountered.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  She's too good for this world. I don't, I just, she's so fucking funny and smart and nice and good at being a friend.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  And that's the vibe I get from her.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Like, we don't know each other so well, but I'm like, but I, I get the vibe like to her friends, like the people who are, who are lucky to be so close to her, that she's just like really loyal and really just like there.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  For them. Like, that, that's just like the, I don't know, I don't know how to articulate it.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  No, she shows up, it's crazy. She really is like a, she's like a community organizer.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Good friend.

• 46:40Speaker 04

  She's a incredible friend. I, it's, it's insane. I like strive to be as good of a friend as Sydney is and keep up with people as much as she does. She really keeps it going.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  She doesn't let it fall out of touch. I can let it fall out of touch.

• 46:51Speaker 03

  I, I do too.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  It's hard.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  There's too many people. We have a really, we have a really beautiful situation where we get to know so many great people.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  But it's hard to fucking keep up with everybody. Cause also I'll call somebody randomly sometimes being like, oh my gosh, I haven't talked to like so and so in forever. And I'll call and they're like, oh, I'm sorry, I moved to LA for a couple of months. I think I'll be back in the fall. Or like, everyone's just always like,

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  You know, you can't keep track of anybody.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  Unless you just find my friends.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  I, I, I just started this year.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  I don't do it.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  You don't?

• 47:19Speaker 04

  No, I don't subscribe to it. You cannot have my location. Are you insane?

• 47:22Speaker 03

  I know, that's crazy.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  You can't have my location.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  That is crazy.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  No, and people abuse it too. Girls abuse it. Girls abuse find my friends.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  I hate talking bad about girls. You know how I feel about girls, Richard. Like they're my number one type of people.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  They raised me.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  I love girls.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  All my friends were girls in high school.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh, girls are everything to me. I have nothing without girls. If all girls disappeared tomorrow, I would kill myself on, on sight.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  And me too.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  If I woke up tomorrow and turned on the radio and there was an alert.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  There are normal girls.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  All, all girls died last night.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  I would put a fucking gun in my mouth and pull the trigger.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Good evening.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Breaking, breaking.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Breaking, breaking.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  All girls disappeared from the earth last night. You would just, you would, you would pan out to the, an exterior of my building and hear a loud shot.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Yes. And then, and then across town, somewhere downtown.

• 48:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, somewhere downtown. Big fucking sound that is me killing myself with a gun. That having been said, girls abuse find my friends.

• 48:22Speaker 04

  They abuse location.

• 48:26Speaker 04

  Saw, saw that four of my friends' dogs are out a walk at the reservoir right now. Didn't get an invite. Hey, so that's not a use of that.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Hey, yeah.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  This was supposed to be for safety, I thought.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  And now we're using it for trickery and petty manipulations. It's not good.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  I know, I know. I share my location with, I think, six people.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  How many girls?

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Three.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  You're in danger.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  Boys don't even use it. Boys don't even use it.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  But I kind of, like, not in like a, you know, it, it's more like once in a while, I'm curious.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  You know, like, I'm like, what are you doing?

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  I'm like, he's so like, he's crazy. I have this one friend where I'm like, you're, you're a wild one.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  You're crazy. What are you doing in Dubai?

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're doing, yeah. What are you doing? Oh, okay.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Okay, you're in Dubai. Okay.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  Fun.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  Okay, what are you doing over there? I, yeah, the surveillance state can be so much fun.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  It can be fun.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  I love playing with my ring camera. I have one.

• 49:26Speaker 04

  I have a ring camera. I'm fundamentally opposed to it. Yeah. When my friend's staying at my house and she goes and plays guitar on the front porch, I'll sometimes, if I, if I get the alert that she's out there, I'll just say, hey.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  You know, stuff like that. It's cute. Living in the Panopticon, we need to have our fun.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  You need to have fun with it.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Have fun with the surveillance state.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  We're being watched at all times, uh, from every single angle. Let's have a little fun with it.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  It's kind of my thing.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  Play, subvert the form.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Subvert the form. Yes, we're being watched. Yes, you cannot escape the all-knowing eye of the government. Yes, we should have a little fun with it.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  Do you, how do you feel about the government? Pro or con?

• 50:06Speaker 04

  I'm con. Now you go.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  I'm pro.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Pro, pro, pro. I love what they're doing.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  Richard, I have a question for you.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Tell me.

• 50:16Speaker 04

  What is so true to you?

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Okay, I was thinking about this.

• 50:20Speaker 04

  Thank God. You're the first.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  I, um, I need to, I need help kind of articulating it.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Fuck, okay. Let's do it.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  I, so, okay, I'm on a, I'm on a sex journey.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Oh my God, fun.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. I essentially felt like I re-lost my virginity in February.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  How so?

• 50:45Speaker 03

  I went through like a 10-year dry spell.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  You went through a 10-year dry spell?

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  That in February ended.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  And I would fool around. Like, like once in a while.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Fool around here and there.

• 50:55Speaker 04

  Fool around, we're talking like.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  Oral.

• 50:56Speaker 04

  Oral, no worries.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Oral, oral make out. That's it.

• 50:59Speaker 04

  Love making out in oral.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Two of the biggest events of the show, by the way.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Yeah. Making out in oral are like, hello, we're most of the way there.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. And like, yeah, sometimes just like.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  A lot of the times, we're the whole way there.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or like better than like the thing, you know, better than, yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  Oral is one of the things that God intended it for us.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:18Speaker 04

  Oral is one of the most beautiful fruits that we've ever known.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, 100%.

• 51:22Speaker 04

  A special, special thing, oral.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  And, um, and so I've been having sex, um, since February with different people.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  So February, you started penetrative sex again.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:34Speaker 04

  What happened?

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Okay, I was in Toronto.

• 51:39Speaker 04

  Always.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  It's always Toronto where you get back into penetration.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  I've been saying this. It's something about Trinity Bell Woods Park.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Just charged, very charged energy.

• 51:53Speaker 04

  It goes penetrate once more.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  Or allow yourself to be penetrated once more.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Beautiful. You were in Toronto.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  I was in Toronto for a job.

• 52:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  And I, also it was crazy, like I was in LA. So I had this like mom, I can't tell how much of it was like, okay, let me, I'm sorry, my thoughts are like, I'm trying to organize them.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Oh, you're good.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Okay, so basically, um, I had this like two weeks of just like bouncing around.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Which was like new for me. And so I felt like, oh my gosh, like just an excitement from it. And sure, maybe like, there's something with my ego or something. I was feeling myself. And so I'm put up in this nice hotel. And, um, I go on Grindr, but it's like the dead of winter in Toronto.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  Um, so I'm not, and I'm only there for like three nights, two or three nights. And so I was just like, well, you know, I don't wanna.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  If I know anything about gay guys, by the way, none of this matters.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Yes, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  None of this matters. There, if there's a will, there's a way. And almost the only thing there is, is a will.

• 52:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  And so I'm on the apps.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  And, uh, chatting with this guy. And then I kind of like let him know, like, hey, like, you know, I'm kind of down to just like fool around. I don't wanna go all the way.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  And he's like, whatever you feel comfortable with, like, I'm down.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  Nice, hot.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was like, that's really sweet.

• 53:23Speaker 04

  That's really sweet. I think I'm gonna let you fuck me tonight.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  I think you're fucking me.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  So then I got ready just in case.

• 53:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  I was like, let's see how tonight goes.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  And then he came to the hotel. He was so handsome. I was like, huh? And then.

• 53:44Speaker 04

  Fucking quivering.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I had to like meet him in the lobby and then bring, so we're in the elevator together.

• 53:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  And I was like, hey. And I'm like, and I didn't know how to close the blinds into my hotel.

• 53:54Speaker 04

  Don't need to.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Room. So I was like, I didn't, and I was too nervous to ask anyone that worked there. So I was like, so I let him know that.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  So that was our elevator conversation.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, he just, you know, like.

• 54:08Speaker 03

  Just so you know, like, I couldn't close the blinds. So the lights are really low. They're dark.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  So just letting you know, that's kind of what it's like. He's like, oh, haha, that's okay. And then when he entered, he's like, whoa, it's really dark in here.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  And I was like, yeah.

• 54:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm not trying to kill you. I'm just scared of the staff and unable to work the blinds.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  And I was like.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  I hope that's okay.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then he was just, then we got, we got into it. And then it was building and I felt like we had really great chemistry. And then he was like, I really want to fuck you. And I was like, do it.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  And then he was like, are you sure?

• 54:44Speaker 04

  Then fucking do it.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  I was like.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Prove it.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Fucking do it.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Prove it.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Do it.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Okay. So what are you waiting for all the way over there? He's across the room for some reason.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 03

  And I'm just like, hole like out, holding my legs back. Do it. And so then he, um, he did. And then, and when.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Oh shit.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  He, um, when he was starting, you know, the starting is always hard with anything.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  It's painful. It's like, you gotta adjust.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  Like everything worthwhile in life, it takes some work.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Starting is so like.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  And so then like, when he, when he did, I literally was like,

• 55:38Speaker 03

  he was so hot and sweet about it too. Like he was just like, are you okay? Like checking in.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  He's just like, oh, you're doing great. You're so hot. This is so sexy. Well, and I'm like, yeah, I'm feeling better. And then, but I also in my mind thought that I was in, um, just my movie reference that I jumped to right away was like the montage, like prom scene, uh, American Pie. They're all losing their virginities.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  Um, after prom. So, and Big Runga is playing, sway my way.

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Don't come and go.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  Like you do. And I'm like,

• 56:17Speaker 03

  say you'll stay.

• 56:19Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  And he's kind of like, why are you singing?

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  No, okay, I didn't sing.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  He's like, hey, knock it off. Now the blinds are seeming kind of fucked up, actually.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. I could stop. Um, and then, yeah, and then we, then, then it, it went from there. And then I was like, oh, work. I love this.

• 56:34Speaker 04

  We're back. We're so fucking back.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Did he, uh, size, speaking of size, was it huge?

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Hmm, no, I don't just want that.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like, it's not, yeah. Sometimes I am like, you know, I don't think today I have it in me for this type of impact.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  Of course. Who should?

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Um, but.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  I hate hung guys. They're a natural predator to my whole situation.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  It's like the girls are gone. And it was like, why didn't they take the hung guy?

• 57:09Speaker 04

  All the girls died last night. Only hung guys are left.

• 57:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm out of here.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  I am out.

• 57:19Speaker 04

  I'm fucking out of here.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  Done.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  It's me and only hung guys left.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Only hung guys are left on earth.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Oh, great. My fucking nightmare from middle school.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  It's only guys and everyone's hung but me. No thanks.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  Um, so then, um, and then I had sex. I went to LA after that.

• 57:43Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  And then I had sex there.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  That always happens.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  And that wasn't such, like, I, I felt like there wasn't really such great chemistry.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  There. And also I felt like this person was like, fucking me in this way that felt very kind of like masturbatory or something like.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 57:59Speaker 03

  I was like, oh, and I'm like looking at the wall, like getting fucked. And I was just like, I'm like, this is just like comedy. Like, one night you're like, I'm born for this. And then there's like, and then there's like.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  And then there's nights where you're like, I'm bombing.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  Why did I do that?

• 58:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. I was like, what the hell is this?

• 58:18Speaker 04

  What the fuck was that about? Yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  What, what, what am I doing?

• 58:20Speaker 04

  What compelled me to do that?

• 58:21Speaker 03

  And then I'm sure there's so many that's just like, it was fine.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Like, yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  I did it. It's fine.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Um, and so I was just like, whatever. Let me not like attach to any, to any, you know, to it. And so, um, anyway, so my so true.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Is.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Completely obsessed.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  The, the sex journey in question, by the way, is just having some.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Literally.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  Bit of a sex journey right now in that I'm having some.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  That I'm having sex.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  And.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  We're gonna make so true merch that says, I'm on a bit of a sex journey right now, colon, I'm having some.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  I'm having some. Please leave that in the comments.

• 59:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, would you mind?

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  And, um, so being on the apps, especially a hookup app, I feel like there has to be some way to like navigate between like knowing who someone is in like a public sense or I don't know.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  You're barking up the right tree with this one. Yeah, keep going.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  I just don't like someone reaching out to me on those particular apps to just be like, hey, diva, like.

• 59:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  You're.

• 59:37Speaker 04

  Diva's gonna go ahead and piss me off.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, like you're a queen and so funny, but like the thought of you naked makes my skin crawl. Like, I would never have sex with you. I'm not attracted to you, but you were like, um, you're like, you're, um, mama.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  Hey, hey mama boots.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  That's how I'm taking it.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  You're an asexual clown to me.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:57Speaker 04

  But I love your work, diva. I'm like, hey, just leave me alone.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  So I'm like, just don't do that.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  If you want to show support, actually, don't ever message me on Grindr.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't.

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Unless you want to show support in the way that you think I'm funny and because of that you want to fuck.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  Then let's fuck.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Then, yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 04

  But if, the thing is, you just want to let me know you're a fan, uh, you can comment on Instagram. You can share a TikTok. You could buy a ticket. You can head to the merch shop and go ahead and make some purchases.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:22Speaker 04

  Plenty of ways to be a fan. Maybe fire up Netflix and see the latest movie.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  See my photo.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  If you, the, the image of me and what I look like.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  And, and it could be like a, yeah, he's funny and that is attractive to me.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  Like, if you are like, I'm attracted, just close your eyes and like, check, am I attracted? Then if you are, then like, say hi.

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  And we could, and I get it. You also have to feel it out. Like, just in general, like when you see someone, you're like, oh, like you can think someone's attractive. And then you just kind of have to like meet to see what the vibe is. But if you already know that's like not the case.

• 1:01:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  Just don't, don't do that.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  Leave me out of it.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  Leave me out of it.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  I've started putting this in my bios. Not interested in talking to you about my job.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, or like making friends. I'm sorry.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  I'm not here to make friends. Sorry.

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  Not in this form, not in this way.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  I know. And I, that actually, that one does make me feel bad because it is my truth.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  I am not here to make friends and I actually feel sorry if you're like new to the city and you don't have friends.

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  Totally makes sense.

• 1:01:28Speaker 04

  I'm not your guy, but I totally wish it for you and see it for you.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  And if we met in a different way, or I don't know, like maybe, like, I don't know, but it's just like, I, I don't know. I'm going in here with the, with like hope in my heart.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  That I'll get railed.

• 1:01:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  And that's what I'm hoping for. And I just don't. I, I know.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  That's sweet.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  It's like, I douched and I opened this app for a reason.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  That's another thing. Like, uh, sometimes I open the portal. That's what I call douching.

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  I'll open the portal too fucking soon before I booked anything.

• 1:02:04Speaker 04

  That, you gotta book first.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  And then nothing works out.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  I'm up till five trying to book.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Cleaned out.

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  I'm like, but I'm ready.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. So no one wants to come use this?

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Everyone's like, no. Yeah. Oh, I can't. I'm tired.

• 1:02:21Speaker 04

  Everyone's like, diva, I love your videos.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  What, how did I not think this through?

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. That sucks. That seems like a lot of work.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  Awful. That's another so true.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Speaker 03

  Don't douche before, don't douche if you don't, I mean, don't douche if it's not on the books or.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  Book before you douche.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Book before you douche.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. Douche only after booking. Douche only after booking. Douche after booking.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  And if they gotta wait, let them wait.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Let them wait. Well, yeah, that's a tricky, that's a tricky game to play as well.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  I'm, but I, look, I've long said bottoms are this nation's most powerful and important people. I love and support all bottoms out there and I'm coming to you guys directly to camera. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you guys do. You guys are a powerful entity. I want to thank you for all the work you put into the community. You carry this team. Uh, bottoms of all genders. You are the most special and kind-hearted among us. We look to you. We stand on the shoulders of giants. You guys are the giants. And we look to you with hope in our eyes and love in our hearts. And we say on this day and all days, thank you.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:03:32Speaker 04

  Are you okay?

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:03:33Speaker 04

  You're welcome. You're quite welcome.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  And hung tops, you will burn in hell.

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  When you die, you will burn in hell. Hung tops, you are a nasty, nasty group. You want to hurt people and you're sick, sick individuals.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  I love you.

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  Don't listen to him. Hung tops, don't listen to him.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  I love you.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  No, someone needs to love those guys. That's real.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  And that's where you come to mama.

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  That's real. Go to Richard if you're a hung top.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  Um, and also just like, not, you're normal too.

• 1:04:09Speaker 04

  Come to mama, everyone come to mama.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  Come to mama.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  Be good to mama, mama, be good to you. Um, that's so funny. Well, hey, look, I support your so truths. I think they're beautiful.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  And what else was I thinking about it? There was something I was thinking of saying to you about that grinder based.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  I'm trying to think, I'm like, did I have like a?

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  Oh, my thing was useless. I was gonna tell you just that in Toronto, I have really good sex.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  Oh, fab.

• 1:04:38Speaker 04

  I always have.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  There's cities, certain cities where I really kill. And I've just, over the years, going multiple places, like, you know, you end up a lot of places the same, like, you go to Toronto multiple times, you go wherever.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  I'm like new to traveling.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  Okay, this is only because of work.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  And in the last couple of years, I happened to have like wound up in places for work. And Toronto's a place that I'm like, I always have good sex in Toronto.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Shout out to those guys.

• 1:05:01Speaker 03

  Shout out Toronto.

• 1:05:02Speaker 04

  Shout out Toronto.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  I can't wait to go back.

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  I can't wait for you to go back. It sounds like it was a very formative thing.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  It was.

• 1:05:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  It changed me.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Foundational part of your lore now.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  Toronto will always be a part of your DNA.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  A thousand percent.

• 1:05:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  It's now like.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  We're all Canadian.

• 1:05:17Speaker 03

  I'm, yeah, I'm Canadian.

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  You're part Canadian.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  I'm part Canadian.

• 1:05:21Speaker 04

  That's completely beautiful. I'm sorry I cut you off, though. You were saying something.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  I, um, someone messaged me, or I said hi to someone on, on the apps. I like don't wanna say the name of the app. Um, I don't know why.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  It's completely fine.

• 1:05:36Speaker 03

  But the, um, this person messaged back like two days later and was just like, said all these, like, oh my god, hi, like, I think you're so funny. I like this thing you did in this thing, this video, ha, ha, ha, da, da, da, da, da.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Perfect for the Instagram comments.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  I, I think you're really handsome, but like, you're not my type.

• 1:06:00Speaker 03

  Have a great day.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  I was just like. Pan out, exterior shot of my building, loud noise.

• 1:06:09Speaker 04

  That is so.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  And I was like.

• 1:06:11Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  I was like, thank you.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  Just don't message, just don't message at all.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Don't message me. And if you want to, just block me.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  If you have the urge to want to say something like that on those apps to me, just block.

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  Oh, block me.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Block me, please.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  It's no worries to block me.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, please block me.

• 1:06:30Speaker 04

  I've got guys on Hinge, uh, really cute guys.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Responding to my prompts with just, um, viral jokes of mine.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  Just quotes, just quote, a quote, something I said that went viral and subsequently, you know, sort of improved and ruined my life in equal measure, just saying that to me on Hinge.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  Thinking that I'm gonna respond to that. And no matter how hot they are, I've drawn a hard boundary.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  I obviously can't respond to that. That's a level of self disrespect that I can't go to.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  I can't do it.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  And I'll go pretty.

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  Far into self disrespect.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  But that's, um, that's a level that I can't cross.

• 1:07:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:11Speaker 04

  You can get away with a lot with me if you're hot.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  I've always said that.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  If you're hot, you can get away with a lot. I've put up with some pretty ridiculous things for hot people. Not even just sexually, even platonically.

• 1:07:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  I just love a hot person.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  I love, yeah. I think it's Charlie, uh, Charlie Barday, like, my really good friend.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  So funny.

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  He was like, um, I forget where he said, I don't know if it was on his podcast or if he said this to me in person. That's weird.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  Oh, fuck. Charlie, Charlie, don't, you're really funny, don't listen to this. We love you, don't listen.

• 1:07:41Speaker 03

  But he, he mentioned like, he, I forget the context, but he was just like, he was like, yeah, like, sometimes when I see like, like a really like, hot, beautiful woman, I'm like, let's take his picture together.

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  And you know what? Why not?

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  Take a selfie.

• 1:07:59Speaker 04

  Let's get a photo.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  That's so cool.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  Let's commemorate this.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  You're really beautiful.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  How cool is that?

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. You're really beautiful, let's take a picture.

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  That is so fucking.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  And I'm like, that's amazing.

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  That is amazing. And honestly, do it, grab the photo.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, do it.

• 1:08:13Speaker 04

  I don't mind that at all.

• 1:08:16Speaker 03

  But yeah, I don't know what to do with prompts.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  On dating apps?

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Hinge.

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Let's talk through it.

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  I don't, I'm so, they're all, mine are like one word answers.

• 1:08:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Cause I'm, I'm so feeling like, um, I think I'm just self conscious or something about answering in a way. I'm like, what's the tone? I'm like, do I answer in like a funny way? How much of it is sincere? How much is, like, I don't know.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  Could be a mix of both.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, a little.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  I just texted Chance like two days ago, Chance and our buddy Doyle. I got, I get so sad sometimes on Hinge because people will write really thoughtful, like, somebody, somebody I'm, I know I'm not gonna be interested in for whatever reason, that there's just something on their profile that I'm not into, you know? And they'll write a really thoughtful response to one of my prompts on Hinge. And you know, you'll read it, cause you'll see that they liked you or whatever. And it makes me so sad. I'm like, oh my god, you were so thoughtful in that response. And I'm not gonna, we're not gonna like, we're not, it's not gonna work with us, you know what I mean?

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:09:17Speaker 04

  But I get so sad about that, cause I'm like, oh my god, you like really thought about this answer.

• 1:09:21Speaker 03

  And like, don't stop.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Don't stop, that's so beautiful.

• 1:09:25Speaker 03

  Be, keep doing that.

• 1:09:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  The way you're thoughtful, it truly eats.

• 1:09:30Speaker 04

  It eats. We're not a match, but it eats.

• 1:09:32Speaker 03

  But it eats.

• 1:09:33Speaker 04

  And I'm being the thoughtful guy to some guy who doesn't wanna respond to my thing, so don't worry about it.

• 1:09:37Speaker 03

  My friend, she told me, um, one time, she was approached, like, this guy approached her, I think she was at Central Park, and I don't remember exactly how he went about it, but she was so like, he just like, in a really cool, respectful way, was like, trying to get her number or something.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  And maybe it started out as like a small talk type of thing, and then it led to him being like, oh, I'd love to like, go on a date or something. And she was just like, oh my gosh, like, she's like, I, I'm in a relationship, like, but the way, like, please don't stop. The way you did this was really, really great.

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  You know, like, it was very kind, it was very respectful. And like, I appreciate that. But yeah, I'm, I got someone.

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  Fellas, never let another man make your lady smile. That's the lesson here.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  He almost, he almost lost his girl that day.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  Damn, yeah.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  Cause he was so respectful in the park.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:35Speaker 04

  That's beautiful. I will say, I have felt that, uh, when someone is really like, direct and sweet and like, cool with it, and I'm just not into it, I'm like, god, keep doing that, though. You're doing so, that is so correct.

• 1:10:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:10:51Speaker 04

  Just cause it's not, I'm not, whatever, I have my own shit going on, but that is so fucking cool.

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm trying to like, turn it into myself.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, hello.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  And be like, hey, that was, didn't work out the way you wanted it to.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 03

  But good on you.

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  And you're figuring it out.

• 1:11:08Speaker 04

  That's nice. That's how we should be talking to ourselves.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  I asked someone out.

• 1:11:11Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  Recently, or a few months ago.

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  For the, like, I've never asked some, in person. I've done it over text or whatever on the apps, but like, I've never in person been like, we should go on a date.

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  And you did it.

• 1:11:23Speaker 03

  I did, and I was rejected.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  That's okay.

• 1:11:26Speaker 03

  But I was just like, wow, I'm gonna do it again.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  How did it feel?

• 1:11:29Speaker 03

  I was, I've never been, I have not been that nervous in a while.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  It's horrifying.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I was like.

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  Isn't it fun?

• 1:11:35Speaker 03

  There was like a knot in my throat, like, you wanna go on a date?

• 1:11:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, maybe, yeah.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:11:46Speaker 04

  If it came out that way, yeah, I wonder if it showed up that way.

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  I don't know if it landed with me either.

• 1:11:52Speaker 04

  It doesn't matter, though. It's so good.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  But I did it, and I, I tried and, um, and like, uh, I'm gonna do it again.

• 1:12:01Speaker 04

  I am so into this.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:03Speaker 04

  I actually recently, I asked this guy out.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  Just like bombing.

• 1:12:06Speaker 04

  What'd you say?

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  Just like bombing.

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  It's just like bombing, it gets easier.

• 1:12:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:09Speaker 04

  And it gets funny eventually.

• 1:12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  I asked this guy out, maybe like, I don't know, like, a while ago, at a bar. A guy that I like, kind of knew, uh, but we ran into each other at a bar, and we were chatting for a little bit, and it was really fun. And I was like, we should go on a date sometime.

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  That's cute.

• 1:12:30Speaker 04

  And he was like, he was like, he was like, ah, I don't really know if that's like my, my mood right now, but like, let's trade numbers and we'll see. And I was like, cool. And so we traded numbers, and then like, we were talking about something else, and then maybe like, I don't know, maybe like a week or two later, I was like, hey, like, super no pressure at all, but I, I really would love to take you out, offer stands, like, you let me know. Um, and he was like, hey, I, I don't think that's the vibe I'm getting, but like, really, really like, wanna hang out and like be friends or whatever. And I felt kinda weird about it. I was like, cool, that's totally fine. I felt weird, cause I was like, oh, should I not have like, followed up in that way? I felt like it was respectful, but I just kind of got like, I hope I didn't make him uncomfortable. And then I ran into him recently on the street, and it was so sweet and such a nice vibe. And like, we're

• 1:13:15Speaker 04

  total, we, we are totally good, you know what I mean?

• 1:13:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  And it was like, yeah, so I was like, you were anxious for nothing, it's no big deal.

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:22Speaker 04

  Asking someone on a date is only lovely.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  Yes. And like, it's, if, it's like, I'm sure he, he appreciated, you know? Like, it's, it's so, it's, yeah, it's sweet. It's sweet that someone would express an interest, you know? And be like, I'd love to get to know you.

• 1:13:40Speaker 04

  Also, I've only ever loved, when someone's asked me on a date that I've not been into, I've only ever been like, that was fucking awesome.

• 1:13:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:45Speaker 04

  I love that. I wish that happened all the time.

• 1:13:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:48Speaker 04

  I wish every minute of every day, someone was asking me on a date, how fun.

• 1:13:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh my gosh.

• 1:13:53Speaker 04

  That would be a life I could live.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  Please, guys, um, to hung and normal or whatever.

• 1:14:01Speaker 04

  Hung, regular and otherwise.

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  And otherwise, like, please reach out, DM me, um, if listening to this episode and you are interested in, you're looking at the video, especially if you watched the episode, and you like, you like what I'm doing, reach out.

• 1:14:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. And on the other hand, hung guys, if you reach out to me, you're going home in a body bag.

• 1:14:24Speaker 04

  Kidding, kidding. Actually, can I, can I say one thing? One more thing about hung guys?

• 1:14:31Speaker 04

  Can I just, everyone stop? Can I, god, you guys, this is like the fucking police state, like the Panopticon. I'm living in fucking like, I don't know, like a really oppressive state. I can't say one more thing about hung guys. I have one more thing to say about hung guys.

• 1:14:45Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:14:46Speaker 04

  Hung guys, I am not one of you, that's not my situation, and I am, of course, in some ways jealous. I wish that I was hung like you guys in some ways, and that's probably where part of my animosity comes from, I'm certain of it, okay? Yes, I bet being hung is a fucking parade every day. Sorry. Hold up, I'm being serious, hold on. If you are hung, we can totally still have a lot of fun together. You just can't expect to put that thing.

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  You can't fuck me with that thing.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:18Speaker 04

  If you have a small to maybe even average dick, there's a world where maybe you could fuck me. If you're hung, move on, guy.

• 1:15:28Speaker 04

  Or we could do kind of side stuff and have a lot of fun.

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Speaker 04

  But I don't want hung guys to come away from this episode feeling ashamed or intrinsically bad.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:37Speaker 04

  Or like, we could never make out and blow each other.

• 1:15:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:15:39Speaker 04

  Cause we totally could.

• 1:15:40Speaker 03

  Yes. Which is so hot and fun.

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  Totally fun.

• 1:15:44Speaker 03

  Fabulous. It's fabulous.

• 1:15:45Speaker 04

  It's completely fabulous.

• 1:15:49Speaker 03

  That's my so true.

• 1:15:52Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, Caleb. My so true is that I think making out and giving each other blowjobs is completely fabulous.

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  It's completely fabulous. But we're like, we start talking like we're like gay guys from a movie in the 90s. Yeah, we just made out and like the straight protagonist would be like, we just made out and gave each other a head. That's completely fabulous.

• 1:16:12Speaker 03

  Fabulous.

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Oh, well Cheryl, that's completely fabulous.

• 1:16:15Speaker 03

  Is this chiffon?

• 1:16:18Speaker 04

  She'll take that one.

• 1:16:20Speaker 03

  She'll take that one.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  Cut. It's a cut. It's a cut to him and his boys playing basketball. Not the gay guy, the hung guy. Do you wanna play a game?

• 1:16:28Speaker 03

  Let's play a game.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  Thank God. No one's ever said no. But explicitly.

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.

• 1:16:35Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:16:35Speaker 04

  You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. Richard, if you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  I know. We're an awesome show. Dark Horse by Katy Perry was released in 2009.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  False. It was 2013. Blood is red because of oxygen.

• 1:16:54Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:16:54Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:16:55Speaker 04

  Hemoglobin. Circles have infinite lines of symmetry.

• 1:17:02Speaker 03

  Circles have infinite lines of symmetry.

• 1:17:07Speaker 03

  Infinite lines of symmetry. That means forever.

• 1:17:12Speaker 04

  True. True. Slots can hold their breath longer than dolphins.

• 1:17:16Speaker 03

  Who? Slots?

• 1:17:16Speaker 04

  Slots.

• 1:17:17Speaker 03

  Can hold their breath longer. False.

• 1:17:19Speaker 04

  That's true. Delaware College of Art and Design had 107 students enrolled when it closed.

• 1:17:25Speaker 03

  Wait. How did you? That's where I went.

• 1:17:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  I went to school there.

• 1:17:33Speaker 04

  You think true or false?

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  How many? 101?

• 1:17:37Speaker 04

  107 when it closed.

• 1:17:39Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:17:40Speaker 04

  That is true. Victoria Falls is the world's tallest waterfall.

• 1:17:44Speaker 03

  Victoria... True.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  False. Angel Falls. Glasgow is the capital of Scotland.

• 1:17:51Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  False. Edinburgh.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  False. Edinburgh. Zero is not a positive or negative number.

• 1:18:02Speaker 03

  True. It's negative, right? Neutral?

• 1:18:06Speaker 04

  True. Helium is the most abundant element in the universe.

• 1:18:11Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  It's true.

• 1:18:12Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:18:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:15Speaker 03

  But I would have also accepted love.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  The Pokemon Magikarp does not evolve.

• 1:18:22Speaker 03

  Oh. True.

• 1:18:25Speaker 04

  False. It evolves into Garados. Sorry if I'm not saying these right. I'm a grown up with normal. The first modern Olympic Games took place in 1896.

• 1:18:35Speaker 03

  1896. Yes, true.

• 1:18:38Speaker 04

  That's true. Nick Saban is the current head football coach of Alabama.

• 1:18:42Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  False. It is Caleb DeBoer.

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:18:45Speaker 04

  Borders Books was started by Tom and Louis Borders.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:18:50Speaker 04

  It's true. Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  True. There are 17 Panera breads in Vermont.

• 1:18:58Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:18:58Speaker 04

  False. Three.

• 1:19:01Speaker 04

  Chance, how do you do?

• 1:19:01Speaker 03

  I worked there. That was my first job ever.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  Chance probably knew that. He's a sick, sick person.

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  Did you work there?

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  No, I just knew that about you.

• 1:19:07Speaker 03

  You just knew that about Panera?

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  Yeah. How'd he do?

• 1:19:09Speaker 05

  Seven.

• 1:19:10Speaker 04

  Very, very cool. Very, very cool. Not 10, obviously. Lower than 10, obviously, but extremely cool. What's that?

• 1:19:18Speaker 03

  Can I have 25 dollars?

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  You're getting no money, Richard.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  10.

• 1:19:21Speaker 04

  You're getting no money. I don't like when people do stuff like this.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  Seven dollars and I'll...

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  I don't like when people do stuff like this.

• 1:19:26Speaker 03

  Seven dollars and I'll leave.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  You're leaving regardless.

• 1:19:35Speaker 03

  Someone takes me away.

• 1:19:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicole. Nicole.

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  Dude, if it was Nicole, you'd be fine, cause she's very easy to beat in a fight. I've many times thought about if we were, Nicole and I were to get into a physical altercation, the way that I could just sort of pick her up or even just sweep her little legs

• 1:20:00Speaker 04

  and place her down on the ground in a neutralizing lantern. No problem. No problem.

• 1:20:08Speaker 04

  She hates that bit. Nicole, will you say into the microphone what you think of me? What I think of you? Yeah, cause... I love you. Sometimes you, when I do those kind of bits, you really get kind of, you get kind of a nasty look on your face. Well, it's really detailed about beating me up specifically and no one else. Well, Nicole, come on. You and I have the most tension at work. That's obviously really present in the space.

• 1:20:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, and like the thought of you both at combat is very compelling.

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  Close quarters.

• 1:20:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  Close quarters. I will concede totally that if we were far away with some sort of weaponry, I think Nicole could totally stand a chance.

• 1:20:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:44Speaker 04

  Be at the case that, you know, I had sort of a knife and she had a gun.

• 1:20:46Speaker 03

  I see you. For some reason, I'm getting a vibe that you secretly know how to run against the wall.

• 1:21:05Speaker 03

  You're being like humble and very like shy, you know, very just like, no, I'm chill, I'm chill. But you secretly know how to do that.

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  But with three jumps in a corner, you could be up, yeah.

• 1:21:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that will throw Caleb off for like five seconds. Which you have enough time to do something crazy in five seconds.

• 1:21:22Speaker 04

  That is so fucking funny. And I've seen her do it. Completely true, by the way. Completely true, by the way. I mean, all these three do is silly little shit like that. These three don't ever do their job. I mean, it's like, you come up with like a silly little gimmick and these three have done it instead of their job.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  You can't find good help these days. I mean, nobody wants to do, nobody wants to work.

• 1:21:43Speaker 03

  No one wants to work.

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  Nobody wants to work. These guys won't help me with anything. Before the episode, Michelle asked if everyone wanted coffee but me.

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  I'm like the guy around here.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:55Speaker 04

  I'm like the guy with my names on the door.

• 1:21:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  I just don't understand. I try to be sweet, Richard, but people push and push and push and push. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:22:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think maybe there should be just...

• 1:22:10Speaker 04

  Consequences.

• 1:22:14Speaker 04

  It's okay, you can say it. Consequences. No, it's not true. I love these guys. And I love you, and I thank you for doing this.

• 1:22:20Speaker 03

  I love you, Caleb.

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  It was a beautiful episode.

• 1:22:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like relaxed.

• 1:22:26Speaker 04

  It was a beautiful, gorgeous episode.

• 1:22:28Speaker 03

  And I think we went so many different places.

• 1:22:31Speaker 04

  We got it all.

• 1:22:32Speaker 03

  We laughed. I held back crying.

• 1:22:34Speaker 04

  I held back crying.

• 1:22:35Speaker 03

  You did.

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  Oh, there was some tears brewing, yeah.

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  I kinda did a little bit. And then, and then I just felt like a presence with you, like a present moment with you.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  That's so beautiful.

• 1:22:48Speaker 03

  And it's just like, it's lovely to talk to you. We've never hung up before.

• 1:22:51Speaker 04

  It's a gorgeous, gorgeous thing to spend time with you.

• 1:22:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:54Speaker 04

  Thanks for doing it.

• 1:22:55Speaker 00

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• 1:23:25Speaker 01

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• 1:23:56Speaker 02

  Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly, the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it, layer by layer, until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.