Pod Insights So True with Caleb Hearon Natalie Palamides is a Good Guy About this episode Welcome back! This week's guest is the hilarious Natalie Palamides! Natalie and Caleb talk alternative medicine, their mutual friend James Corden, Spiders, and so much more!
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So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.
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Transcript 12,996 words · 6 speakers
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1:30 Speaker 02 This is a HeadGum Podcast.
1:33 Speaker 03 I should've brought you some. I should've frickin' brought some. Isn't there an Air One around the corner?
1:39 Speaker 04 Does it make you sick?
1:39 Speaker 03 No, it... well, you know, anything can make you sick, right?
1:42 Speaker 04 Okay.
1:50 Speaker 04 You do a lot of voiceover stuff.
1:52 Speaker 03 I do, yeah.
1:52 Speaker 04 You're on one of these a lot.
1:54 Speaker 03 Cartoons.
1:54 Speaker 04 You're in a booth doing some wild shit on there.
1:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm on the mic, but they would never take this. They would never want the visor in.
2:00 Speaker 04 Really?
2:01 Speaker 03 Because, um, I don't know, I guess it warps the sound, so they always have you turn it around.
2:06 Speaker 04 Really?
2:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:07 Speaker 04 Oh, I didn't know that.
2:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, interesting, right?
2:09 Speaker 04 I've only done a little voiceover, and if I wore a hat, I'm sure they didn't care enough to have me move it. They're like, "That's fine."
2:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, because you're a star.
2:16 Speaker 04 No, because I'm not a bi- I'm not you. You can do so many- your vo- your voice work is incredible.
2:20 Speaker 03 Oh, thanks, yeah.
2:21 Speaker 04 You know I'm such a huge fan, your comedy in general, I'm such a massive-
2:24 Speaker 03 I'm a huge fan too. The thing I want to tell you is about somebody else who's a big fan of you.
2:29 Speaker 04 Oh, you said- okay, so, haha, okay, so you said, before we started recording, can I tell you something? Or should I save it for the record?
2:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2:36 Speaker 04 And I said, "Save it." Okay, tell me.
2:37 Speaker 03 Are we recording?
2:38 Speaker 04 Well, we're recording.
2:38 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, so I-
2:40 Speaker 04 We sneak up on people on this show, they never know we've started.
2:42 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay, love it. Um, so I was having coffee with James Corden.
2:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:47 Speaker 03 And he said, "You're the funniest comedian of all time."
2:50 Speaker 04 James?
2:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:52 Speaker 04 James, stop it!
2:53 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:53 Speaker 04 James Corden, you wouldn't possibly!
2:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, he said, "You're a star."
2:57 Speaker 04 Oh, that is very nice of him.
2:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, he said, "You're gonna blow up and be one of the, like, most iconic movie star, uh, like, uh, like, one of the voices of our generation." Or, he said, "You already are."
3:08 Speaker 04 Well, that's huge for me.
3:09 Speaker 03 He's obsessed, he's obsessed.
3:10 Speaker 04 What, were you guys- did you guys get coffee in LA?
3:12 Speaker 03 We got coffee in London, he came to see my show.
3:15 Speaker 04 As he should.
3:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, and, um, yeah.
3:18 Speaker 04 He's so nice.
3:19 Speaker 03 And he loves you so much, he is so nice!
3:21 Speaker 04 He's been so sweet to me. He, he, like, called me, I- years ago, I had- I was still living in Chicago, uh, and he- I had some video do, like, I don't know, but some kind of numbers on Twitter, not even one of my big ones, I don't think. And James, uh, got my number from our- we, like, share an agent.
3:39 Speaker 03 Oh.
3:40 Speaker 04 And he was like, he was like, "Caleb, I just feel like, like, you've got it, like, you've got it."
3:45 Speaker 03 See, you're so good at voices, actually.
3:48 Speaker 04 Okay, nailing James!
3:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, you are.
3:50 Speaker 04 He was so sweet, and the last time I saw him was also in London, he came to my show when I was out there, and then I went to see him in a play. And the next day, he was like, he was like, "Do you wanna go get lunch at Soho House?" And I was like, "Well, I'd rather die, but let's do it."
4:03 Speaker 04 And so we went to Soho House in London. And you know, I watched him and maybe I'll text him and ask if he's okay with me telling you this, but I thought it was so funny. We were sitting at like by the pool at the Soho House. This woman walks up. He goes, I know we're not supposed to bother people here, but I just, James, I'm such a big fan. And I just want to know what's going to happen with your, with your TV show. He's got that TV show that he did years ago that they're doing another. And he goes, he goes, do you really want to know? And she goes, yeah, I really do. What's going to happen with this character? And James goes, he dies. We just, we just filmed his funeral. And she goes, oh my God, are you serious? And James goes, yeah, I mean, I don't tell anybody, but yeah, we just filmed his funeral and he dies.
4:47 Speaker 04 And she goes, okay, well, I'm sorry to bother you guys and have a good day. She walks away and I go, is that true? And he goes, no.
4:56 Speaker 03 Oh my God. That's legendary.
5:00 Speaker 04 That's so funny. And then, and then when we, when we left, I was like, he was like, he was like, how are you getting home? And I was like, I'm going to take a Lime bike. And he was like, me too. And then he got on a Lime bike and like Lime biked away from me. I was like, James Corden, you can't be on that Lime bike.
5:12 Speaker 03 Oh my God.
5:13 Speaker 04 They will kill you.
5:14 Speaker 03 That happens.
5:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:14 Speaker 03 Yeah. Epic. I saw it, well, a lady came up to him in the cafe with me and he was so nice. He was like, she was like, can I please get a picture with you? And he was like, when are you leaving? And she's like, probably in an hour. He's like, come back to me when you're leaving. And I promise I got a picture. It was just so, you know, I was like, thought it was so diligent and you know, he, he set a boundary, but still like, you know, gave this woman what she desperately wanted and.
5:41 Speaker 04 So sweet.
5:42 Speaker 03 I know.
5:43 Speaker 04 You got to go to a regular cafe? You didn't have to go to Soho House?
5:46 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, just a regular.
5:47 Speaker 04 God damn it.
5:48 Speaker 03 In his neck of the woods, in his neck of the woods.
5:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, you had to go over there.
5:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:51 Speaker 04 Yeah. Soho House is such an insidious space.
5:55 Speaker 03 Something about it, yeah, just isn't right, this just doesn't sit right.
5:59 Speaker 04 It's basically like, when you ask me if I want to go to the Soho House, it's like asking me, would you like to have a picnic in a graveyard?
6:06 Speaker 03 Uh huh, yeah. It's where a lot of dreams go to die.
6:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's just, ugh, it's like project managers. I don't know, I just can't. Out loud phone calls where it's like, no, tell them we want 10 million. You know, it's just like, ugh, shut the fuck up.
6:21 Speaker 03 It's a lot of people that maybe are aspiring to be like have a certain kind of stature or something.
6:30 Speaker 04 Yeah, and I reek of somebody's guest.
6:32 Speaker 03 No, you don't.
6:33 Speaker 04 I reek of somebody's guest.
6:35 Speaker 03 No, you don't. You're the member.
6:36 Speaker 04 I walk in there and they go, they go, "Who are you with? Who are you with, sir?
6:40 Speaker 03 No.
6:40 Speaker 04 You're not a member of this establishment."
6:42 Speaker 03 People say that to me often, too.
6:43 Speaker 04 Really?
6:43 Speaker 03 They're like, "What are you doing here?"
6:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:45 Speaker 03 They often look at me like, you know, "You're not supposed to be here," kind of thing.
6:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:50 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I'm usually a little maybe disheveled looking or something. Not as nice as I look right now.
6:55 Speaker 04 Now you look good in my hat.
6:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I will say Soho House, they have a good burger, maybe?
7:00 Speaker 04 The thing is, their chicken bites are to die for.
7:02 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
7:03 Speaker 04 I can't, I would never take this from them.
7:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:05 Speaker 04 I would never take this from them.
7:06 Speaker 03 How kind of you.
7:07 Speaker 04 The vibes are insidious, but the chicken bites are something special.
7:10 Speaker 03 Actually, I have a really bad memory associated with Soho House because I got hit by a motorcycle in London.
7:16 Speaker 04 Recently?
7:17 Speaker 03 In 2018, fall 2018. I was crossing the street at Dalston Kingston Station because I was late to some meetings I was having at the Soho House. And the train there only comes, you know, every 15 minutes. And I was like, "Fuck, if I miss this train, like, I'm gonna be really late to this meeting." And so I looked both ways. The cars were stopped for traffic. And I was just like, "I'm clear." I dart in between the cars and a motorcycle comes up the middle and just decks me. And I fly through the air. I'm thinking, "Oh, my God." I'm dead, you know?
7:52 Speaker 04 Yeah, you're in the air going, "That's it."
7:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
7:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:55 Speaker 03 I was thinking, "Fuck," like, yeah. And then some angels must have come and swooped me.
7:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:00 Speaker 03 Because I just landed like very delicately on my side. Not a scratch on me. I was wearing this big North Face winter coat that I had just got. And, um, yeah, I just had a big bruise on my side, but I didn't hit my head. I didn't break anything. I just popped right up and I yelled out to the guy. Both his mirrors knocked off his bike and I said, "Are you okay?" And then we got swarmed by two like giant crowds of people. And I was like, "I gotta go. I gotta go. I'm gonna miss my train." Ran down to the train station. A doctor chased me down and she's like, "I gotta check you. You gotta go to the A and E," like. And she was like, she had a little flashlight on her.
8:37 Speaker 04 Yes! She was like, she was like, "Breathe deep for me. She's got a stethoscope."
8:41 Speaker 03 And, um, and yeah, she checked my eyes and she's like, you gotta go to the A and E. But I was like, no, I have to go to these meetings. But I'm a little bit resentful of the people I had these meetings with because I got there and I was like, sorry, I'm like, I just got hit by a motorcycle and they're like, oh, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I think so, but they should have been like, you need to go to the hospital.
8:59 Speaker 04 They should have been like, let's take this meeting in the ER.
9:01 Speaker 03 Right.
9:02 Speaker 04 Or the A and E, I guess. What the hell is that?
9:04 Speaker 03 But it's like, why, why didn't they, like, I was obviously in shock. You know, I could have had internal bleeding.
9:10 Speaker 04 That was my first thought. A real hypochondriac knows internal bleeding is, that's some real shit, yeah.
9:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly. Anyways, I had two meetings at this, back to back meetings at the Soho House.
9:20 Speaker 04 Didn't anything come of them?
9:22 Speaker 03 Nothing happened.
9:23 Speaker 04 God damn it.
9:24 Speaker 03 I know, fuck, right?
9:25 Speaker 04 I wanted to hear like, that's, and that's how I sold Nate.
9:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I wish. Nate had already been out. No, it wasn't sold by then.
9:32 Speaker 04 It definitely wasn't out.
9:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, 2018. No, yeah.
9:35 Speaker 04 How, uh, how did that, how did you pitch that? That's what, Nate is one of the only specials I have like, sit down and watched on purpose.
9:43 Speaker 03 Really?
9:43 Speaker 04 In years. Oh yeah, dude, I'm a huge fan.
9:44 Speaker 03 Thanks, Caleb.
9:45 Speaker 04 How did you pitch that to them?
9:47 Speaker 03 Well, Amy Poehler's company saw it at the Edinburgh Fringe, so they approached me and said, we love your show, do you want to shoot it as a special? And obviously I was like, yeah, and, uh...
10:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, I do, of course I want to do that, yeah.
10:03 Speaker 03 They pitched it to Netflix and Netflix was like, they watched, you know, a tape of the show and they were like, we don't know how this would work on TV and they passed on it and then we shot it independently. And then when we came back around, like, shopping it to people, they bought it. Yeah.
10:20 Speaker 04 That's interesting.
10:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, on the other side.
10:22 Speaker 04 Huh. Did you have a, did you have a little bidding war going?
10:25 Speaker 03 Not at all.
10:26 Speaker 04 No.
10:27 Speaker 03 Nobody else wanted it. Everybody else said no. Oh yeah, I mean, it was straight to Netflix.
10:34 Speaker 04 That's crazy. No, we chose Netflix only.
10:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, we chose Netflix only.
10:37 Speaker 04 Can I ask you a personal-
10:38 Speaker 03 Cause I only go with him.
10:39 Speaker 04 Can I ask you a personal question?
10:40 Speaker 03 Yep, please.
10:40 Speaker 04 It's, uh, it's inappropriate.
10:43 Speaker 03 Okay, I like that stuff.
10:44 Speaker 04 Is that okay?
10:45 Speaker 03 You can ask me anything. You can cross any boundary you like.
10:49 Speaker 04 Okay.
10:49 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:49 Speaker 04 And then if you just, you know if you wanna cut it, you'll just tell us and we'll cut it.
10:52 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, for sure.
10:53 Speaker 04 How much you making on those Guy Copel commercials?
10:57 Speaker 04 Come on, come on, what are we raking in? What are we raking in on those?
10:59 Speaker 03 I make like, a year from those.
11:02 Speaker 04 That really makes me happy.
11:03 Speaker 03 Thank you so much. It's so lucky.
11:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:06 Speaker 03 It's so, it's like the luckiest job ever. I always think they're gonna fire me. Because I'm like naked on TV and stuff like that and
11:12 Speaker 04 Oh, they like it.
11:12 Speaker 03 Sometimes I post something, yeah, I think they like having like a little edgy comedian around. You know?
11:17 Speaker 04 They like it.
11:18 Speaker 03 Come on, give them a little bit of an edge.
11:19 Speaker 04 And don't you feel that sometimes there's like a-
11:21 Speaker 03 Right? You guys like that, right?
11:23 Speaker 04 Guy Copel, right, please?
11:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:25 Speaker 04 Well, that lizard's a sex freak.
11:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Me and the lizard.
11:29 Speaker 04 You and the lizard are out there showing off your shit.
11:31 Speaker 03 Exactly.
11:32 Speaker 04 No, I do think that there's some execs at some like advertising agencies and in some marketing groups that are like, I, my job, as I see it, is to get some, some comedians,
11:44 Speaker 03 Mm.
11:44 Speaker 04 some money. I think that, some of them see it that way.
11:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:47 Speaker 04 Don't you think they go, I love this comedian, I'm gonna get them paid?
11:50 Speaker 03 I mean, they must be doing that for me. I mean, it's like a full ride scholarship I have to Hollywood. Like, there's no other way I could make like all my weird shows if I don't have this bankroll cut, well, you know, and, you know, be eating nice sushi and stuff, you know, I'm eating sushi.
12:06 Speaker 04 You're eating sushi.
12:07 Speaker 03 I'm like, you know, taking my friends out to dinner, but, you know, I see it as like, I gotta share the scholarship.
12:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:12 Speaker 03 You know, my friends are always like, why you always picking up the tab, you know? Cause I, I'm always like, I got this, and they're like, you always do, but I'm like, but I got the scholarship.
12:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:22 Speaker 03 I should be doing this.
12:23 Speaker 04 I got the Guy Copel grant.
12:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly, so I-
12:26 Speaker 04 I owe it to my community in the dorms.
12:27 Speaker 03 Exactly. I'm like, we, artists need to support artists.
12:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:31 Speaker 03 So I need to pick up the sushi tab.
12:33 Speaker 04 I'm not picking up the tab.
12:34 Speaker 03 Well, but come with me.
12:36 Speaker 04 I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I tell my friends if they're, even if they're, if I go out to dinner with a broke friend, I say, you're paying.
12:42 Speaker 03 Oh, hi.
12:43 Speaker 04 Cause I want you to know that there's individual responsibility.
12:46 Speaker 03 Right, right, right, right.
12:47 Speaker 04 Just because I make a lot of money doesn't mean I'm picking up the sandwiches.
12:50 Speaker 03 You can't, yeah, in a way, you're enabling them.
12:53 Speaker 04 It's like work harder, exactly.
12:55 Speaker 03 Unsuccessful.
12:56 Speaker 04 If you want to be like me, you have to suffer paying for the sandwiches.
13:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly.
13:01 Speaker 04 You know what I mean?
13:01 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
13:02 Speaker 04 And so I'm actually looking out for them.
13:03 Speaker 03 You are.
13:04 Speaker 04 Yes.
13:04 Speaker 03 In a way, I'm doing my friends a disservice then.
13:07 Speaker 04 You, I didn't want to say it, but yes, you're coddling them.
13:09 Speaker 03 That's why all the clowns are like, struggling right now.
13:14 Speaker 04 Cause they're sucking on mommy's teeth.
13:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, big time, both of them.
13:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, both of them.
13:18 Speaker 03 And there's not a lot in there.
13:20 Speaker 04 It's funny to imagine that instead of both of the teeth, you meant both of the clowns. There's only two.
13:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:25 Speaker 04 It's just you, Chad, and who, someone, and one more.
13:27 Speaker 03 Courtney.
13:27 Speaker 04 Courtney.
13:28 Speaker 03 Prosser, maybe Zack Zucker.
13:29 Speaker 04 Zack, I was gonna say Zack.
13:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I'm like, you know what, I always say to my parents, because my parents are like, why are you picking up everybody's tab? And I'm like, I'm rich. And they're like, no, you're not. Like, you can't buy a house. You know what I mean?
13:41 Speaker 04 No, but what comedian rich?
13:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, or comedian rich.
13:44 Speaker 04 The year is.
13:45 Speaker 03 That's good.
13:45 Speaker 04 Also, that's what your parents do.
13:47 Speaker 03 What do my parents do?
13:48 Speaker 04 What do they do that they think that's not rich?
13:49 Speaker 03 I'm, no, I make more than that.
13:54 Speaker 04 They're like, you're not rich. Don't pick up sushi.
13:56 Speaker 03 But they're like.
13:57 Speaker 04 I remember where I'm from. That's a, that's a billionaire.
13:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, but they live in Pittsburgh, you know, so like, they're like, if you were here, that'd be fine, but they're trying to look out.
14:06 Speaker 04 I love Pittsburgh.
14:08 Speaker 03 It's a good town. Where are you from, by the way?
14:09 Speaker 04 Kansas City.
14:10 Speaker 03 Okay, oh, that's how you know, um, you're friends with, um, Kevin Morby.
14:15 Speaker 04 I sure am.
14:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:17 Speaker 04 I sure am friends with Kevin Morby.
14:18 Speaker 03 We've talked about you on Instagram.
14:19 Speaker 04 Kevin loves you.
14:20 Speaker 03 I love him too.
14:21 Speaker 04 He's a huge fan of your comedy.
14:22 Speaker 03 He's coming to my show this week, I think. Are you gonna come?
14:25 Speaker 04 Uh, when is it?
14:26 Speaker 03 Um, April fourteenth through the seventeenth.
14:28 Speaker 04 I'll be gone, baby.
14:29 Speaker 03 Oh, no.
14:30 Speaker 04 I'll be gone. I'll be back to New York.
14:31 Speaker 03 New York. Well, I'll be in New York in the fall.
14:33 Speaker 04 Really? You promise?
14:34 Speaker 03 I promise. Will you come?
14:36 Speaker 04 To your show?
14:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:37 Speaker 04 To see, to your show?
14:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:38 Speaker 04 Yes.
14:39 Speaker 03 And we'll be friends.
14:42 Speaker 04 Natalie, it's just quick.
14:43 Speaker 03 It's a lot of pressure.
14:44 Speaker 04 It's quick, you're in my hat and you're asking if we'll be frie- I mean, friendly. Friendly. Wait, do you know what just happened to me?
14:52 Speaker 03 What?
14:52 Speaker 04 This might affect our friendship.
14:53 Speaker 03 No.
14:54 Speaker 04 So you deserve to know. I do really wanna be closer friends with you, but I did just get a dumb phone.
14:59 Speaker 03 What? I- I'm jealous. That's what I want, that kinda phone.
15:03 Speaker 04 Everyone's already mad at me.
15:04 Speaker 03 No, cuz you- cuz they go green.
15:06 Speaker 04 Ever- they go green.
15:07 Speaker 03 But that's what I want. And listen, this pisses me off because I just went to Disney Tokyo Shii. And in order to buy like pretty much everything there, you needed to have a smartphone. And I was saying to my friend, I was like, this is fucked up.
15:20 Speaker 04 It's wrong.
15:21 Speaker 03 Because what if people don't wanna have one of those smartphones?
15:24 Speaker 04 Yes.
15:24 Speaker 03 What if they wanna have a dumb phone so they can go, you know, not be tied to something? Listen, I'm all for this. I wanna have a dumb phone.
15:32 Speaker 04 Join me.
15:32 Speaker 03 I might join you. How is it?
15:34 Speaker 04 I'm- I'm- I'm doing both for the moment. So I got a new number on the dumb phone.
15:37 Speaker 03 Right.
15:38 Speaker 04 And also, I went to get a new- I went yesterday to activate my dumb phone at T-Mobile.
15:42 Speaker 03 So this is new.
15:43 Speaker 04 Oh, just yesterday.
15:44 Speaker 03 Congratulations.
15:45 Speaker 04 Thank you. I'm doing both for a while because I can already see like transportation apps, like Delta Airlines app, Uber, like those are gonna be a problem for me cuz you can't get them on the dumb phone.
15:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:54 Speaker 04 I don't yet- have not yet figured out what I'm gonna do about that, but I'm rebelling because I'm fucking tired of what you're talking about. Everything requires a goddamn smartphone.
16:02 Speaker 03 I know.
16:03 Speaker 04 I need a fucking iPhone to open the menu at the restaurant, to use a bike, to-
16:07 Speaker 03 I fucking hate it at the restaurants.
16:09 Speaker 04 It pisses me off.
16:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, but how are you gonna ride the bike now?
16:12 Speaker 04 I'm not gonna ride the city bikes anymore. I'm gonna have to get my own.
16:14 Speaker 03 Okay, but that'll be nicer, having your own bike.
16:16 Speaker 04 It will, but they gotta stop doing this.
16:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
16:19 Speaker 04 Let us put in coins to get the city bike.
16:21 Speaker 03 It was so nice. So I was just in Japan.
16:24 Speaker 04 Shout out. Shout out to Japan for real.
16:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, and they have all these vending machines where you put in coins and it's so gratifying to just be able to put in the coins and you hear it go.
16:36 Speaker 04 Yeah. Or a payphone. I wish, I wish, I wish we'd bring back payphones.
16:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's bring them back.
16:41 Speaker 04 Bring back payphones.
16:42 Speaker 03 I mean, everybody's pissing on the ones in London.
16:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:45 Speaker 03 It's a disgrace.
16:46 Speaker 04 It's horrible.
16:47 Speaker 03 You know, like, treat them with some respect. Like, those are part of your history.
16:50 Speaker 04 London's not. They're not acting right in London.
16:52 Speaker 03 They're not.
16:53 Speaker 04 They're being weird over there.
16:54 Speaker 03 If they had those payphones in Japan, they'd be spick and span.
16:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:57 Speaker 03 Let me tell you what.
16:58 Speaker 04 They'd self-clean.
16:59 Speaker 03 Big time. I mean, have you been there?
17:00 Speaker 04 No.
17:01 Speaker 03 Every single bathroom, even in the train station, has a bidet.
17:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:05 Speaker 03 And a seat that automatically raises.
17:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:08 Speaker 03 And the seat is heated.
17:10 Speaker 04 You seen Perfect Days?
17:11 Speaker 03 Haven't.
17:12 Speaker 04 You, you gotta watch Perfect Days.
17:13 Speaker 03 Do you need to watch this? Okay.
17:14 Speaker 04 Perfect Days, Vim Venders.
17:16 Speaker 03 Running it down.
17:17 Speaker 04 Perfect Days. One of my favorite movies of the last several years.
17:20 Speaker 03 Really?
17:20 Speaker 04 And it's a, you'll love it. It's especially, watch it off your, uh, fresh off your trip.
17:24 Speaker 03 Okay.
17:25 Speaker 04 Cause it's about a wonderful man in Japan.
17:27 Speaker 03 Okay. Also, I don't know if you noticed earlier, but I said hi. When we were like talking, I was like, hi, hi. That's how they say yes, over there.
17:34 Speaker 04 God, you've changed. You've changed.
17:38 Speaker 03 That's why, I know. I just gotta kinda reset.
17:41 Speaker 04 Moneybags Palamides, switching up on everybody.
17:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, big time.
17:44 Speaker 04 That's beautiful.
17:45 Speaker 03 Um, thank you so much. How do you like living in New York?
17:48 Speaker 04 Oh, I love it.
17:48 Speaker 03 Uh, should I move there?
17:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
17:50 Speaker 03 What's going on?
17:51 Speaker 04 Yeah, you really should.
17:52 Speaker 03 I know. My family wants me to move there, cause East Coast.
17:55 Speaker 04 Pittsburgh's so close, six hour drive.
17:56 Speaker 03 Only six.
17:57 Speaker 04 Only six. Six and, six and some change.
17:59 Speaker 03 Huh.
17:59 Speaker 04 I randomly get a lot of work in Pittsburgh.
18:01 Speaker 03 Do you?
18:02 Speaker 04 I'm going back soon. I keep getting college gigs there.
18:04 Speaker 03 Oh, great.
18:05 Speaker 04 Like Q and As at colleges. I just did, uh, Pitt, and now I'm going back and doing Carnegie Mellon soon.
18:10 Speaker 03 CMU.
18:11 Speaker 04 I'm going in there.
18:12 Speaker 03 Wow.
18:13 Speaker 04 I'm going, I'm going to Pittsburgh.
18:14 Speaker 03 You know what's awesome about like getting talks at colleges that, like, especially ones like, I, I can never get, get in there. You know what I mean? But they're like, will you come talk with us?
18:23 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah, they would not have accepted me.
18:25 Speaker 03 You wouldn't accept me. Like, and you want me to come teach your, you know, your chosen ones? What's that about?
18:31 Speaker 04 I'm doing a lot of college gigs at schools I, anyone could get into.
18:35 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
18:36 Speaker 04 Carnegie Mellon is a different story, but I've gone to some schools. It's pretty clear. They have me there as like a, I'm best case for their students.
18:43 Speaker 03 Right, right, right on. Okay.
18:44 Speaker 04 This is the, if you, you, you're, you're gonna need to get on TikTok if you guys wanna make a career, is what they're saying to these kids.
18:48 Speaker 03 Are you big on TikTok?
18:49 Speaker 04 I believe so.
18:50 Speaker 03 Wow.
18:51 Speaker 04 I believe so. I don't post on there. It's all Virginia. Shout out to Virginia. Virginia does all the posting.
18:55 Speaker 03 Shout out, Virginia. That's awesome.
18:57 Speaker 04 The only time I hear about my TikTok, what, we have like a million, eight hundred thousand followers or something on there? They, the only time I hear about my TikTok is, it's happening right now, actually, is when I have a clip that people are like, pick, like, news sources are picking up. And by news sources, I mean like Resist Lib.
19:15 Speaker 03 Right, right, right.
19:16 Speaker 04 Democracy Now! will sometimes share something I say and be like, comedian owns Trump! And then it's like, oh god, now I have to hear from these freaks.
19:23 Speaker 03 You've toned him, toned his ass. And you're like, whoa, whoa, I don't want to get on his bad side. Like, you guys shut up.
19:27 Speaker 04 Well, I, I'll tell you, I'm starting to think differently about talking bad about the guy.
19:30 Speaker 03 Oh, really?
19:31 Speaker 04 He's disappearing people!
19:33 Speaker 03 Is he really?
19:34 Speaker 04 Yes!
19:35 Speaker 03 I wonder where you go?
19:36 Speaker 04 They're pulling defective El Salvador.
19:38 Speaker 03 Oh!
19:39 Speaker 04 To a brutal prison.
19:40 Speaker 03 Oh my gosh.
19:41 Speaker 04 They're plucking people they don't like off the streets, and I'm over here talking shit on this guy. Cast shit in public, front street.
19:47 Speaker 03 Keep talking, I want to see where you go.
19:49 Speaker 04 I, you better, you better promi- if I keep talking shit on him and I get disappeared to El Salvador, you better promise to come get me.
19:55 Speaker 03 I'm taking a trip, for sure, I love traveling. I was just in Japan.
19:59 Speaker 04 This is a really fun movie.
20:00 Speaker 03 Maybe he disappears people to the beach. And he's like, listen, I don't want to, you know, you know, I don't want to make your life hard. It's just, you know, I have to show people, I mean business, have a nice time.
20:12 Speaker 04 He like pulls them aside.
20:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:13 Speaker 04 He's like, he's like, hey, this is so not personal.
20:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:17 Speaker 04 Like, you don't have to go home, but you can stay here. Like, we are gonna send you to Barbados.
20:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:22 Speaker 04 And just like, enjoy yourself.
20:23 Speaker 03 Have some plant, fry plantains.
20:25 Speaker 04 We're gonna shave your head and post some pictures of you that look like you were in El Salvador, but... Don't worry, you're gonna be fine.
20:29 Speaker 03 Oh, are they snapping pics?
20:31 Speaker 04 Oh, they're doing so, full social media. Though, we have gotten to a level of fascism so quickly that it's almost hard to believe. They are doing like, they're doing like TikToks of people, prisoners' heads being shaved that have been convicted of no crimes. And the audio is like, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye. It's dystopic as fuck.
20:51 Speaker 03 Oh my god, I live under a rock.
20:52 Speaker 04 This shit makes its way to me, and then people wonder why I don't want to be on the thing.
20:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:57 Speaker 04 It's horrible.
20:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, now I know.
20:59 Speaker 04 These little rectangles are ruining our lives.
21:01 Speaker 03 Big time, I know.
21:02 Speaker 04 Because if no one was watching the rectangles, they wouldn't make the fucked up deportation videos.
21:06 Speaker 03 I know, I was just saying, yeah. Our lives are so much more difficult because of these little boxes.
21:12 Speaker 04 I know. That's just, that's just how it is now.
21:16 Speaker 03 Or is that like so, is that like so ignorant of me to say?
21:20 Speaker 04 Are we dumb?
21:21 Speaker 03 Maybe it's like, maybe it's ignorant, I'm like, it'd be so much easier if I didn't have to know about all the bad stuff. But like, I'm just being realistic, what am I gonna do? What? Look at me. What am I gonna do about this? What am I gonna do about this issue? You think I'm gonna go head to head with this guy?
21:36 Speaker 04 With Trump?
21:37 Speaker 03 Yeah. You think if I speak out, anything's gonna happen? You think he's gonna care what I say? He's not gonna care.
21:44 Speaker 04 Are we dumb? Are me and you dumb?
21:45 Speaker 03 Are we?
21:46 Speaker 04 Are we dumb?
21:47 Speaker 03 I think...
21:48 Speaker 04 Let's be honest.
21:49 Speaker 03 I think, yes.
21:50 Speaker 04 Has money changed you?
21:51 Speaker 03 I think yes.
21:55 Speaker 03 Twice over, yes.
21:56 Speaker 04 Twice over, yes.
21:57 Speaker 03 Twice over, yes, dumb and dumb.
21:59 Speaker 04 Dumb and changed by the Geico checks.
22:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, big time.
22:02 Speaker 04 I'd love to get in one of those, would you tell them?
22:04 Speaker 03 A hundred percent.
22:05 Speaker 04 Would you tell them I'd love to be in there?
22:06 Speaker 03 For sure.
22:07 Speaker 04 I could do, what you want to...
22:07 Speaker 03 I'm gonna get Geico on the phone right now.
22:11 Speaker 04 Hey, Geico, what can I help you with?
22:14 Speaker 03 Sorry, it's still ringing.
22:18 Speaker 04 Ring, ring, ring, ring.
22:20 Speaker 03 They didn't pick up.
22:23 Speaker 04 Oh, I think you're getting a call.
22:24 Speaker 03 Oh.
22:25 Speaker 04 Hi, this is Geico, we missed a call from you?
22:28 Speaker 03 Oh, um, hey, sorry, I didn't expect you to call back.
22:33 Speaker 04 Yo, yeah, what's up?
22:34 Speaker 03 I'm doing a podcast right now. Um, so, my friend actually was hoping to get in one of the spots. I wanted to see if...
22:41 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
22:42 Speaker 03 He could get him in, Caleb Hearon?
22:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, could you pitch him? Are you certain that that's how you pronounce his last name?
22:48 Speaker 03 I was uncertain, but I still committed. I still said it.
22:53 Speaker 04 Cool, cool. No worries.
22:55 Speaker 03 Can you pronounce, can he pronounce your last name?
22:58 Speaker 04 Oh, we don't know him.
22:59 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay.
23:00 Speaker 04 Could you tell me a little bit about him? Like, just kind of pitch him to us?
23:04 Speaker 03 Um.
23:04 Speaker 04 And be glowing about it.
23:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, he's one of the funniest comedians of our time. Even James Corden has said so. James Corden brings him up randomly in conversation at cafes.
23:17 Speaker 04 Is he sexy?
23:18 Speaker 03 Big time.
23:19 Speaker 04 Is he sexy?
23:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, he's got major sex appeal. People want him. He gives off like this effortless air of confidence.
23:26 Speaker 04 Whoa.
23:27 Speaker 03 And you just instantly want to be his friend.
23:29 Speaker 04 Okay.
23:30 Speaker 03 So likeable, so enjoyable to be around, handsome as hell.
23:34 Speaker 04 Nice, okay.
23:35 Speaker 03 And I think just overall, just a 10 out of 10 person.
23:39 Speaker 04 Nice, Natalie. Well, it's always so good hearing from you and...
23:42 Speaker 03 Except, wait, sorry. I think he has vision, maybe some vision issues.
23:46 Speaker 04 Vision issues?
23:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't know if you're gonna have to, he needs to wear contacts for the spot if he chooses it, but he has wearing, yeah, he wears glasses.
23:55 Speaker 04 Would the glasses work in the spot or no?
23:57 Speaker 03 Let me ask. Um, so yeah, so he's wearing glasses. Does that work for the look? No? Okay.
24:07 Speaker 03 It doesn't work for their look they're going for.
24:09 Speaker 04 Natalie, we're gonna get off the phone with you now. We love you so much.
24:11 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
24:12 Speaker 04 Bye.
24:13 Speaker 03 Thank you. Love you too. Bye.
24:14 Speaker 04 How did it go?
24:15 Speaker 03 So, it was good. They really like you. They like, like the sound of you. I was kind of like, you know, I was like, am I talking to Caleb? Am I talking to them?
24:24 Speaker 04 That was apparent, yeah.
24:27 Speaker 03 But yeah, no, it feels like, um, you're, you're in a good spot.
24:31 Speaker 04 Okay.
24:32 Speaker 03 They're gonna think about, like, writing you in.
24:35 Speaker 04 Do you, okay, just debriefing the exercise a little bit.
24:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:38 Speaker 04 My, I want to say my favorite part of our improv scene was probably when I answered your phone call and then you said, "They're not picking up."
24:50 Speaker 04 That was textbook classic yes ending.
24:52 Speaker 03 Right, right, right. Yeah, I studied at UCB. And so, um, I, yeah, I have good skills when it comes to any kind of improv. Long form, short form.
25:02 Speaker 04 How did you, were you doing improv before you did clown stuff?
25:05 Speaker 03 I was doing both simultaneously. I was introduced to clowning in university.
25:10 Speaker 04 In university?
25:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, so I guess technically I was doing clown first. But, um, yeah, when I moved out to LA, I kind of was like hitting the ground running. Like, I wanted to be on SNL so badly. And I was like, I have to do UCB, I have to do Groundlings, I have to do iOS. So I did all those things, like, all at once. And then, as I was doing it, I was like, I kind of miss, like, the theatricality.
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26:05 Speaker 03 All of the, you know, clown stuff I used to do in college. And then I was on set of Pretty Little Liars doing background acting. And, like, fate just kind of dipped in. I dropped my cough drop on the ground. And I said, I'm still gonna eat this. And this girl laughed, and we got to talking. And she happened to be doing wardrobe on a Cirque du Soleil show. And we got to randomly talking about clown. I didn't even bring it up. She was just like, oh yeah, this clown, he's starting classes. And I was like, no way. I was like, I love clown. And anyways, I signed up. And, uh, it's called The Idiot Workshop. Still going, still going.
26:48 Speaker 04 Who teaches it?
26:48 Speaker 03 Um, his name is John Gilkey. It's his school. And he's like, um, famous Cirque du Soleil clown.
26:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
26:55 Speaker 03 Yeah. But, um, and that's kind of how I got into the scene in LA.
27:00 Speaker 04 And now you're thinking about leaving it all behind.
27:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, for, for Geico, for Hollywood. I know that I'm like... A skilled live performer and that's like what I'm most known for. But I just got into it to get into the pictures.
27:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, you want to be in the talkies.
27:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I was doing this so somebody would put me in a movie. Hello?
27:21 Speaker 04 Hello?
27:22 Speaker 03 What's going on? I don't need to do these plays anymore.
27:25 Speaker 04 Ever heard of it?
27:26 Speaker 03 Oh my god, like, can you give me a fucking part in a movie already?
27:29 Speaker 04 And they're not doing it?
27:30 Speaker 03 No, well, listen, can I tell you this?
27:32 Speaker 04 Tell me now.
27:33 Speaker 03 I don't know if I'm supposed to say this on the air, but years ago, when I got hit by this motorcycle.
27:37 Speaker 04 Motorcycle.
27:38 Speaker 03 I got cast in this part in Seth Rogen movie, The American Pickle. I was supposed to be his assistant, but my manager couldn't get me out of like my run that I was doing in London to do this movie. And I'm like, is he the-
27:52 Speaker 04 Couldn't get you out of a run in London to do Seth's movie?
27:55 Speaker 03 I know. I'm like, is he the worst manager in the world?
27:57 Speaker 04 You still have him?
27:57 Speaker 03 No, I fired.
27:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's not looking good.
27:59 Speaker 03 Right? I'm like, that was a bad call. He was like, sorry. He's like, there'll be more. And I was thinking at the time, and you know, I was so, I mean, I was twenty, you're, you're pretty young, aren't you?
28:09 Speaker 04 I'm thirty.
28:10 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay. I was twenty-eight at the time.
28:12 Speaker 04 Okay, okay.
28:13 Speaker 03 And so I feel like, maybe I was really stupid, but I was just like, okay, like, but I should have fought for it and been like, no, you get me out of this.
28:20 Speaker 04 Where was the run in London? At Soho?
28:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, Soho.
28:22 Speaker 04 What is the repercussion of cancelling on Soho?
28:24 Speaker 03 I know.
28:24 Speaker 04 All love to Soho.
28:25 Speaker 03 And then, all love to Soho, but like, then that day I was supposed to be filming, I got hit by a motorcycle and had to cancel the show anyway.
28:34 Speaker 04 And I, and guess what? It worked out.
28:35 Speaker 03 And guess what? It worked out.
28:36 Speaker 04 We were able to cancel for motorcycle. We could have canceled for Seth.
28:38 Speaker 03 I know. And I'm like, what the heck? So Seth, if you're listening, listen, I wanted to do it.
28:45 Speaker 04 Seth listens.
28:46 Speaker 03 Does he?
28:46 Speaker 04 Seth, Seth, oh, Seth's a loyal listener. Seth, I know you're listening.
28:49 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:50 Speaker 04 Oh, Natalie wanted to do American Pickle. They shot that in Pittsburgh.
28:52 Speaker 03 I know.
28:53 Speaker 04 Oh, this is horrible.
28:55 Speaker 03 I know. It was crazy. And then the day that I was supposed to shoot, I got hit by a motorcycle, like-
28:59 Speaker 04 This is unbelievable.
29:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, anyways, isn't that, that's crazy, right?
29:03 Speaker 04 Do you know what I keep thinking?
29:04 Speaker 03 What?
29:05 Speaker 04 I do, my career's going okay.
29:07 Speaker 03 It's going great.
29:07 Speaker 04 But I know a lot of producers that aren't putting me in their stuff.
29:10 Speaker 03 What the fuck?
29:11 Speaker 04 I'm going to lunch and dinner with, and they're my friends, but I'm going to lunch and dinner, they're going, they're going, God, you're so funny. I'm going, you have three projects on TV right now.
29:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:18 Speaker 04 What do you, what do you think about, what do you think about me playing guy number two?
29:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, seriously.
29:22 Speaker 04 In two episodes.
29:23 Speaker 03 Slip them in, right?
29:24 Speaker 04 I'm saying, can we put Natalie and Caleb in some projects?
29:27 Speaker 03 Let's, let's fucking go. I saw you in a couple films.
29:30 Speaker 04 I'm in a couple.
29:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:31 Speaker 04 But I'm just looking at some of these people I hang out with. I'm going, you're a big time Hollywood producer.
29:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's go.
29:36 Speaker 04 You're not gonna offer me a small part?
29:38 Speaker 03 I mean, give me an under five already.
29:40 Speaker 04 Come on, make me a fractional, make me a three tenths regular.
29:43 Speaker 03 Get me on the set.
29:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
29:45 Speaker 03 Get me on the set.
29:46 Speaker 04 Come on.
29:47 Speaker 03 Anyways, that was my big, I feel like that, in my mind, I'm like, that was like, a moment where I like fucked up. Where I'm like, ah.
29:55 Speaker 04 Well, there's no such thing, don't you think?
29:56 Speaker 03 I don't know.
29:57 Speaker 04 You were supposed to get hit by that motorcycle.
29:58 Speaker 03 You think so?
29:59 Speaker 04 You were.
30:00 Speaker 03 What if I was in this movie with, with, you know, this big time movie star guy? And then I just was A-lister from there?
30:09 Speaker 04 Seth is wonderful. I love Seth. I would do anything with Seth. Seth, I love you. I would do anything with you.
30:13 Speaker 03 Thanks for listening.
30:14 Speaker 04 Thank you for listening to every episode and texting me about it. I really appreciate that.
30:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:18 Speaker 04 He, every, every, the episodes come out at midnight.
30:20 Speaker 03 I'm glad he's gonna hear this.
30:22 Speaker 04 At 1:33 a.m.
30:23 Speaker 03 And he's on it.
30:24 Speaker 04 He texts me every night and says, just finished the episode.
30:26 Speaker 03 And it was awesome.
30:27 Speaker 04 I love it. You're so funny. Your guests are so great. And so he'll do that with this one, but Seth, I just want to say to you, Natalie, being in that movie with Seth.
30:35 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:36 Speaker 04 Would have done maybe a couple things for you.
30:38 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:38 Speaker 04 Having the motorcycle story to tell on this podcast.
30:41 Speaker 03 You're right.
30:41 Speaker 04 I just, I think it's like, we look at the scales and it's like.
30:45 Speaker 03 Which, which one? The motorcycle went our ways?
30:48 Speaker 04 Motorcycle Story on So True is gonna do a lot more for you. Mark my words.
30:51 Speaker 03 I'm marking it.
30:52 Speaker 04 Mark my words.
30:53 Speaker 03 Okay, I'm left-handed. I don't know why when I write in my notepad. The wrong pen or not.
31:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, go ahead, write it down. Write it down for me.
31:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:05 Speaker 04 Thank you.
31:06 Speaker 03 What else did you tell me earlier?
31:08 Speaker 04 To watch Perfect Days by Vender's. You wrote it down then, too, so why would it not still be in there?
31:12 Speaker 03 You're right. It was, it was.
31:14 Speaker 04 Oh, different page, huh?
31:15 Speaker 03 Different page. Up, there it is.
31:20 Speaker 03 Is that? Oh my god, thank god. I thought that was wine for a second.
31:27 Speaker 04 Do you kinda wish?
31:28 Speaker 03 I kinda wish.
31:29 Speaker 04 Do you kinda wish I was downing wine while I was talking to you?
31:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, or grape juice. I was like, okay.
31:33 Speaker 04 Sparkling grape juice?
31:34 Speaker 03 I love a grape.
31:35 Speaker 04 I bust one out. We should start popping a bottle of sparkling grape juice on every episode.
31:39 Speaker 03 Let's pop it. The champagne, let's freaking go.
31:43 Speaker 04 You ever popped a bottle of champagne?
31:44 Speaker 03 Big time, of course. Popping it in the ceiling.
31:47 Speaker 04 It's humiliating to try and do it. I'm not good at it. I always take too long. I did it at a work event recently and I truly, everyone's like, "You got it? You got it?" And I'm like, I'm like...
31:59 Speaker 03 It's because it feels that. It can sense that you are scared of it. You have to just dominate that thing.
32:06 Speaker 04 Nice.
32:06 Speaker 03 You know how to work those.
32:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:08 Speaker 03 Come on.
32:11 Speaker 03 That's what I'm talking about.
32:13 Speaker 04 Come on, brother.
32:13 Speaker 03 Let's go.
32:14 Speaker 04 Hey, you wanna do a voicemail?
32:15 Speaker 03 Oh, let's do a voicemail. Yeah, sure.
32:17 Speaker 04 Put on your little headphones.
32:18 Speaker 03 Okay.
32:19 Speaker 04 Natalie, I'm just loving having you here. I never want you to leave.
32:22 Speaker 03 I know. Can I stay?
32:23 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:24 Speaker 03 Be here till the end of days.
32:25 Speaker 04 Oh, these are nice. I forget how nice these are.
32:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
32:28 Speaker 05 It's hey. I wanna know if you think it's true that we're living in a simulation? I'm not sure.
32:40 Speaker 03 Did you pick this voicemail?
32:41 Speaker 05 I'm curious what you think. I'm kinda thinking we might be. What should we do if we are in a simulation? Getting a...
32:50 Speaker 04 Natalie, what do you think?
32:52 Speaker 03 Well, I think the first move is obviously to do what you did and get a dumb phone.
32:55 Speaker 04 Yeah, get us out of the simulation. Do you think we're in one? Be real.
32:58 Speaker 03 Okay, listen. This is, this is something I think about. I think about, listen, I...
33:05 Speaker 03 Listen, I always tell myself on podcasts, "You gotta be wary of what you say because people are gonna think you're crazy if they know what you actually think about." I think about a lot of conspiracy theory stuff.
33:14 Speaker 04 Yeah?
33:15 Speaker 03 Big time.
33:16 Speaker 04 Which one are you rocking with right now?
33:17 Speaker 03 Well, 5G stuff.
33:18 Speaker 04 Oh, Natalie.
33:21 Speaker 03 Listen, you've seen the Aries necklaces?
33:24 Speaker 04 What?
33:24 Speaker 03 Those things that protect you from the 5G?
33:26 Speaker 04 I can tell you right now that you're seeing different things than I'm seeing. I'll tell you that right away.
33:32 Speaker 03 They advertised me on Instagram, but they're getting me, man. Like, I'm about to get one to protect me from all the 5G. But we should answer this girl first.
33:39 Speaker 04 Well, I think I might need to hear. You're getting a necklace to protect you from 5G?
33:42 Speaker 03 Yes, because all the electric magnetic fields, they're microwaving our brains.
33:49 Speaker 04 Someone's scamming you, babe.
33:51 Speaker 03 Who are we to know? Maybe that is happening. Maybe that is happening. We wouldn't know if it was.
34:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:01 Speaker 03 We wouldn't know.
34:03 Speaker 04 I kind of don't care if you believe that as long as you land on my side politically. You know what I mean?
34:06 Speaker 03 Oh, well, for sure.
34:07 Speaker 04 Like, if someone's like, 5G towers are real, but I voted for the person you wanted. I'm like, rock on.
34:10 Speaker 03 Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, you can count on me.
34:13 Speaker 04 Good, thank you.
34:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, for sure.
34:15 Speaker 04 Do you really think 5G cooking our brains?
34:17 Speaker 03 Well, I'm just like, what if it is?
34:20 Speaker 04 What if?
34:21 Speaker 03 You know, like, I don't think it's necessarily 100% true, but it could be true. And then, if it is true, shouldn't I just wear this necklace to protect myself?
34:29 Speaker 04 You know, I think me and conspiracy theorists, what differs about us is that they, what if kicks a bunch of things off for them, and what if is where I finish.
34:38 Speaker 03 Oh.
34:39 Speaker 04 They go, what if 9/11 was planned?
34:41 Speaker 03 You get off on that. So you finish big time on that.
34:43 Speaker 04 I finish on that.
34:44 Speaker 03 You're like, ah.
34:45 Speaker 04 They go, what if, and I start coming everywhere.
34:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:46 Speaker 04 All over the place.
34:47 Speaker 03 You're like, ah, I finished.
34:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm fucking shooting yarn.
34:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
34:51 Speaker 04 All over the place.
34:55 Speaker 03 Still a string?
34:56 Speaker 04 I'm blasting strings.
34:57 Speaker 03 Nice. I wish I could do that. I'm doing that up here. I'm like going dee!
35:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:04 Speaker 03 Into my clown friend's mouths.
35:05 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:06 Speaker 03 But with sushi.
35:07 Speaker 04 But with sushi.
35:08 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:09 Speaker 04 No, I just think what if, I don't care. What if the 5G towers are cooking our brain? We're all gonna die regardless.
35:14 Speaker 03 Because, well, listen, I've struggled with a lot of, this is another overshare, like, health autoimmune stuff. So it got me, whenever I started struggling with like a mystery illness about eight years ago, The Western medical system failed me and so it sent me on this rabbit hole of like alternative medicine discovery and I met a lot of weird people who are conspiracy theorists. Like this one guy makes ozone machines in Topanga in the woods. And I started going to see him, he practices medicine without a license and shoots me up like with ozone in my vein. Which a lot of people are gonna be like, "That is not safe." I've done it a million times, I'm still sitting here. But my friend called the FBI on him.
35:57 Speaker 04 Yeah. Yeah. And I wanna say, I have rarely found myself in the position of being glad that the FBI was called. But I think your ozone provider in the woods of Topanga, I'd like to see him chat with the agents.
36:11 Speaker 03 I know, I would love to see that too.
36:13 Speaker 04 I'd like to see Agent Starling kick in his door for sure.
36:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:17 Speaker 04 What are you talking about? He gives you shots of ozone. Are you doing drugs with this man?
36:22 Speaker 03 Just ozone. Just ozone therapy. And coffee enema, coffee enema.
36:30 Speaker 04 He's giving you coffee enemas?
36:31 Speaker 03 Well, he doesn't give them to me, but he makes like contraptions.
36:34 Speaker 04 I'm sure he does.
36:38 Speaker 03 That allow you to, you know, do the coffee enema. It's a glass jug with like a basketball pump on it. So you fill up the jug with the coffee and it's, he, everyone's gonna, this is, I'm so, I, I always tell myself, "Don't say this stuff on, because everybody's gonna think, everybody's gonna think, "Yeah, that girl's crazy." You know, and it's like, I know. It's like, it's crazy. It is. When I'm looking in from the outside, I'm like, "That girl's crazy."
37:07 Speaker 04 Who, I'm just like, I'm just worried about you a little bit, obviously, because I'm like, what are in the ozone shots?
37:13 Speaker 03 It's just ozone.
37:14 Speaker 04 What does that mean? What does that mean?
37:19 Speaker 03 It's pure ozone gas.
37:21 Speaker 04 What?
37:22 Speaker 03 So, he like has an ozone machine, he fills up.
37:26 Speaker 04 Am I dumb or am I losing my mind? What do you mean?
37:31 Speaker 03 It's the gas that covers the...
37:33 Speaker 01 Let's be honest, you don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir. A KitchenAid Stand Mixer. It's not just an appliance, it's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid Stand Mixer this year and make more than meals.
38:01 Speaker 03 Earth.
38:02 Speaker 04 Hey.
38:03 Speaker 03 It's O3, so it's made of three oxygen molecules. And you have to make it in a machine. You put oxygen, you attach oxygen to a machine and it like sends it through this electromagnetic thing that supercharges the oxygen and it creates ozone. I don't know exactly how it works. I'm sure somebody's gonna say.
38:24 Speaker 03 It sounds like this. Um, okay, thank you for your info. Um, but. And so he fills up like a vial with, what are these things called, syringe?
38:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:37 Speaker 03 With the ozone gas. And as long as it's pure ozone and it doesn't have any nitrogen in it, it's totally safe to put it in your body. Um, as long as there's no air bubbles or anything like that.
38:49 Speaker 04 Cause that'll kill you.
38:49 Speaker 03 Cause you'll die.
38:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:50 Speaker 03 You have an embolism and die.
38:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
38:53 Speaker 03 Listen, I haven't done it in over a year. Does that make you feel better?
38:56 Speaker 04 You're clean. You're clean on ozone.
38:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:58 Speaker 04 What was it doing for you?
38:59 Speaker 03 I don't have any more track marks. So ozone, like you can get it done like at a doctor's office, but I was just going to this guy in the woods, cause I was like, I lost God a little bit, you know what I mean? I like lost faith, faith in the medical system, cause I was like feeling so sick and this was the only thing that was helping me.
39:16 Speaker 04 That makes total sense to me, by the way. That, there's nothing weird about the Western medicine not helping you with something and when you feel sick and then you starting to go, what else is out there?
39:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
39:25 Speaker 04 That makes a lot of sense to me.
39:26 Speaker 03 Okay, okay.
39:26 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:27 Speaker 03 Okay, well, I'm glad we got there.
39:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
39:29 Speaker 03 But, um.
39:29 Speaker 04 Well, I don't know if we're there, because I still have a lot of questions about this man you're seeing in the woods.
39:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, but back to the simulation thing. And we can talk about this guy all you want, but, um, it's funny that she mentions, are you living in a simulation? Because I had an epiphany a couple of months ago where I realized. Are the game makers having us play Sims? Like, have they made Sims for us to play? Because that's essentially how they're playing us? And if so, is the cheat code to our lives, Rosebud exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point? Like, should I just be meditating saying, "Rosebud exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point", and get all the money that I want?
40:08 Speaker 04 Is that part of Sims?
40:09 Speaker 03 So, in Sims, if you say, "Rosebud ex-" If you put in the cheat code, "Rosebud exclamation point, exclamation point", as many exclamation points as you want, as you want, that's how much money you get. And it just fills up your bank account with cash with that cheat code.
40:22 Speaker 04 Let's try it right now. Rosebud exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. I think I'd be good with that amount.
40:35 Speaker 03 I think that's like, at least 10K right there.
40:37 Speaker 04 So, you think we might be Sims operated by people that you're calling the game makers?
40:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
40:45 Speaker 04 That one, I'm actually not, I'm not off board with.
40:48 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
40:49 Speaker 04 That one, I think I can actually rock with.
40:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:51 Speaker 04 I don't see why not.
40:52 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:52 Speaker 04 It wouldn't change anything for me.
40:54 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
40:54 Speaker 04 I still have to do my Sim tasks.
40:56 Speaker 03 Exactly.
40:57 Speaker 04 That would actually be comforting to me.
40:58 Speaker 03 And somebody's still playing you. Like, who do you think is playing you? They, like, designed you.
41:03 Speaker 04 A lot of gay guys, I'll tell you that much.
41:06 Speaker 03 The stuff they have you doing?
41:07 Speaker 04 I'll tell you who's playing me, Natalie. A lot of gay men in New York City.
41:11 Speaker 03 Oh, wow. I could take a page out of that book.
41:15 Speaker 04 Hey, whoa!
41:16 Speaker 03 I haven't gotten any action.
41:18 Speaker 04 You're not getting laid?
41:18 Speaker 03 No, not in a long time.
41:20 Speaker 04 How I find that impossible to believe.
41:21 Speaker 03 Somebody, please.
41:25 Speaker 03 Somebody, help me.
41:27 Speaker 04 Help!
41:29 Speaker 03 Help! Somebody, help!
41:31 Speaker 04 Help!
41:32 Speaker 03 No, it's been a minute. Like, I'm a nun at this point, I'm celibate.
41:35 Speaker 04 I want to know if someone from the-
41:36 Speaker 03 Not on purpose.
41:37 Speaker 04 -office will come in here if we yell, "Help".
41:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:40 Speaker 04 Help!
41:42 Speaker 03 Help! Actually, that's kinda scary that maybe we've been yelling help and nobody's come.
41:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, no, it's definitely like a, it's our society.
41:49 Speaker 03 Yep. I think like, this all points back to the phone.
41:54 Speaker 04 It's society, man. They're probably out there scrolling Tic Tac.
41:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, big time. And also that's why I'm not getting any action is because everybody's scrolling Tic Tac.
42:01 Speaker 04 If they would get a dumb phone, you'd be, your shit would be wrecked.
42:04 Speaker 03 Big time!
42:05 Speaker 04 You'd be getting run through.
42:06 Speaker 03 A hundred percent, be the Titanic.
42:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, just split in half.
42:09 Speaker 03 Somebody iceberg me.
42:10 Speaker 04 Mini-dud.
42:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, there'd be iceberg in my ass out there. I wouldn't be able to walk down the street without getting an iceberg up my ass.
42:19 Speaker 04 I don't, where are you looking for, what are you, by the way, what are you into?
42:22 Speaker 03 Listen.
42:22 Speaker 04 Is there a gender that you're rocking with?
42:24 Speaker 03 I skew hetero, but sometimes chick.
42:27 Speaker 04 Nice.
42:28 Speaker 03 But it depends. I think I'm more attracted to like people's personalities.
42:32 Speaker 04 Oh, I've met people like you.
42:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, I forget what they call it.
42:35 Speaker 04 I think they're calling it pan these days.
42:37 Speaker 03 Ah, yeah, I don't know, but I don't feel like it's fair for me to identify as something because I haven't like really, I'm, I'm kind of a loser.
42:49 Speaker 04 What?
42:50 Speaker 03 Like, I've been celibate for over two years, so I feel like right now I can't really identify.
42:54 Speaker 04 I think you're a volcel though. You're starting on inside.
42:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm volcel, I'm volcel for sure.
42:58 Speaker 04 Because there's people lining up.
43:00 Speaker 03 Somebody would.
43:01 Speaker 04 People are dying.
43:02 Speaker 03 I could, but right now, like, I'm banned from Hinge.
43:04 Speaker 04 What? What'd you do?
43:06 Speaker 03 Listen, I don't think I did anything wrong.
43:11 Speaker 03 During COVID, I made like a scary profile and...
43:14 Speaker 04 What do you mean?
43:15 Speaker 03 Like, I was just kinda bored and I was annoyed with people like just swiping on, you know, whatever. They're like just giving me the swipe. And I was like, you don't actually like me? You're just swiping like, people just swipe. They're like, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
43:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:29 Speaker 03 And then you try to talk to them and they don't, you know, they don't say anything. And I'm like, ah. So, I was like, I wonder if I'll get maybe a more niche audience if I make a profile a little more specific. Like, maybe somebody, you know, more with my sense of humor might like this kind of thing. Anyway, I don't know. I was doing a social experiment, I guess. I changed my name to Nobody, and then I made the pictures, a dark picture of my eye, my tongue, my teeth.
43:54 Speaker 03 And I answered the prompts in a sort of scary way.
43:58 Speaker 04 Like what? Give an example.
44:00 Speaker 03 If it was like, "How will I know if you and I will get along?" I said, "If you can shut your fucking mouth."
44:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay.
44:06 Speaker 03 Yeah.
44:07 Speaker 04 Hot, kinda hot.
44:08 Speaker 03 Can't be banned for that, exactly.
44:09 Speaker 04 Kinda hot, what the fuck?
44:10 Speaker 03 That would kill on field.
44:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:14 Speaker 03 Right? So it's like, you know, why am I banned for this? And then I wrote an appeal, denied.
44:20 Speaker 04 What else did you do on there? Was there anything more scary than that?
44:22 Speaker 03 That's it, no. Nothing more scary.
44:25 Speaker 04 I feel... I almost don't believe you. Is that crazy?
44:29 Speaker 03 Please, you gotta believe me.
44:31 Speaker 04 You didn't do anything else scary on there? Were you messaging people?
44:33 Speaker 03 Look, I'm so honest. Like, I told everybody here my coffee enema stuff.
44:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, you did bring up the ozone shots. Okay, I trust you. I trust you. I'm sorry. That was fucked up of me.
44:41 Speaker 03 But maybe people are gonna be like, "She's trying too hard to be honest. She's hiding something."
44:47 Speaker 04 Why you brought that idea up?
44:49 Speaker 03 That's cuz I'm honest.
44:50 Speaker 04 What are you hiding?
44:51 Speaker 03 Cuz I crossed my mind.
44:52 Speaker 04 Do you think you're hiding something?
44:53 Speaker 03 Absolutely not.
44:54 Speaker 04 No?
44:54 Speaker 03 No.
44:55 Speaker 04 Never in life?
44:56 Speaker 03 No. I wish I hid more.
44:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, I don't think you are.
44:59 Speaker 03 Like, I didn't wanna say, "I'm celibate." Oh my god. So embarrassing. And every time I say it on every podcast, I'm like, "I need to get fucked." But it's like...
45:10 Speaker 03 And then I watch it back, cuz, you know, they use it for a clip or something. And I'm like, "Why did you say that?" You know?
45:15 Speaker 04 They use it for a clip or something?
45:16 Speaker 03 It's always used for clips.
45:18 Speaker 04 Well, we don't wanna use a clip you don't want. Do you wanna give us a usable clip right now? Give us a clip, give us a clip right now.
45:23 Speaker 03 "I'm getting laid 24/7. I'm just like, I'm turning people away."
45:29 Speaker 04 Really?
45:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
45:31 Speaker 04 You're getting fucked all the time?
45:33 Speaker 03 Big time. And it's like, "I'm tired. Like, leave me alone a little bit," you know?
45:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:38 Speaker 03 And...
45:41 Speaker 03 Maybe I don't want that for the clip.
45:42 Speaker 04 Okay, do you wanna try another one?
45:44 Speaker 03 Let me think.
45:44 Speaker 04 Okay.
45:45 Speaker 03 Like, what would be a good clip?
45:46 Speaker 04 I could also queue you up for something if there's like a way you wanna come across.
45:48 Speaker 03 Team me up, yeah.
45:49 Speaker 04 How do you wanna come across?
45:50 Speaker 03 Like, somebody like chill, not desperate, um, somebody like confident and fun to be around.
45:58 Speaker 04 Natalie, I... Okay, you ready?
45:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:00 Speaker 04 Natalie, I always see you in like a skimpy two-piece at the beach, drinking Coronas with the boys in like a platonic way.
46:08 Speaker 04 Can you speak on that?
46:09 Speaker 03 That's just how I am. I'm really confident in my own skin and my body, and I like to kick back that way on the weekends.
46:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's awesome. And you also make a lot of money, but in an unpretentious way, right?
46:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:23 Speaker 04 You make like two or three billion a week or something?
46:25 Speaker 03 Exactly, and so much money that I don't really even like to think about it.
46:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:29 Speaker 03 Or talk about it.
46:30 Speaker 04 You also, you also put out, but only for like a guy who's really the right guy, right?
46:35 Speaker 03 Yeah, I have to be in love with whoever it is.
46:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:39 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:40 Speaker 04 God, you're like the perfect girl.
46:42 Speaker 03 Thank you. Thank you so much. I, I, it's crossed my mind a lot, but I can't say it myself.
46:52 Speaker 04 Cause you're so humble.
46:53 Speaker 03 I'm really humble.
46:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
46:55 Speaker 04 Then we'll cut the clip there.
46:56 Speaker 03 It's nice to hear somebody else say it.
46:57 Speaker 04 Yeah. Did that feel like a good one?
46:59 Speaker 03 That felt really good.
46:59 Speaker 04 Okay, nice.
47:00 Speaker 03 Thank you so much. Do you want me to tee you up for anything?
47:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, would you just, I want to come across, tee me up for a clip where I come across as like, a nice guy who's not afraid to go there.
47:09 Speaker 03 Oh.
47:10 Speaker 04 But is like a good, uh, deep down, good guy.
47:13 Speaker 03 Deep down, good guy, I'm not afraid to go there.
47:15 Speaker 04 Tee me up for that.
47:16 Speaker 03 Okay, okay. Deep down, good guy, I'm not afraid to go there.
47:19 Speaker 04 And also someone who doesn't like currently kind of have the sniffles.
47:22 Speaker 03 Oh, you have the sniffles?
47:23 Speaker 04 A little bit, but I don't want that to come across.
47:25 Speaker 03 Okay.
47:27 Speaker 03 So, um, okay, wait, sorry, sorry. Okay, so you have a Tesla.
47:34 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
47:35 Speaker 03 And you've been driving it all the time, but just because it's good for the environment, not because you support the company or anybody that is, is behind the company or anything like that.
47:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:49 Speaker 03 And you are taking a lot of supplements recently, I've heard, for your immune system.
47:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:59 Speaker 03 Should I try again?
48:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, I don't think that one's gonna...
48:04 Speaker 04 I don't think me being a Tesla owner and a pill addict is gonna...
48:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
48:08 Speaker 04 Put it, put it over the top.
48:09 Speaker 03 I was trying to like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So, so we want, we want to put out there that like you're in good health and...
48:18 Speaker 03 Okay, so I heard recently that like, somebody saw you pumping iron at the gym drinking a green juice.
48:25 Speaker 04 That's humiliating, yeah.
48:27 Speaker 03 Last week, but.
48:27 Speaker 04 I do that all the time.
48:28 Speaker 03 You were also platforming at the gym and making a speech about the stock market and also El Salvador, something about El Salvador prisoners.
48:41 Speaker 04 Human rights, human rights.
48:41 Speaker 03 Human rights?
48:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, you were platforming at the gym in the weight room about human rights?
48:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh, that's so embarrassing. I ask people not to share that stuff about me.
48:50 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
48:51 Speaker 04 Because I don't want the attention from it.
48:53 Speaker 03 Right.
48:53 Speaker 04 But yeah, I guess I was doing my daily thing where I lift weights and drink green juice and platform human rights at the gym.
48:59 Speaker 03 Yes.
48:59 Speaker 04 Um, that's just something I do.
49:01 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
49:02 Speaker 04 That's just my mornings.
49:03 Speaker 03 Oh, so it's just part of your regular schedule?
49:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm happy to do it. I mean, God, it's finding time to work out when you volunteer so much is hard.
49:10 Speaker 03 Right.
49:11 Speaker 04 But I make it all work and...
49:13 Speaker 03 And somebody said that you were giving out like, weights at the homeless shelter they saw you.
49:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:19 Speaker 03 A couple of weekends ago doing that.
49:20 Speaker 04 Well, they deserve to lift too.
49:22 Speaker 03 Exactly.
49:23 Speaker 04 Just because they're unhoused doesn't mean they should be fat.
49:25 Speaker 03 Right, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:29 Speaker 03 And you also brought a green juice truck to the shelter as well?
49:33 Speaker 04 I give them green juice as well, yeah.
49:35 Speaker 03 Wow.
49:35 Speaker 04 They're people to me.
49:36 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay. That's a hot take. You weren't afraid to go there, were you?
49:40 Speaker 04 Unfortunately, yeah, unfortunately, it is a hot take. It should be everyone's take, but like, just because you're unhoused doesn't mean you shouldn't have green juice and weights.
49:47 Speaker 03 Well, thank you for saying that.
49:49 Speaker 04 I won't give them housing, though.
49:51 Speaker 03 Right, right.
49:52 Speaker 04 It's too expensive.
49:52 Speaker 03 Okay, okay. That's, that's fair. Well, you know, you volunteer at the place that does give them housing, so.
49:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
50:00 Speaker 03 Well, you weren't afraid to go there. That was, that was a brave thing to admit.
50:04 Speaker 04 I'll just go there sometimes. Do you have any controversial takes you want to go there on?
50:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, I mean, um...
50:10 Speaker 04 Maybe what's so true to you?
50:11 Speaker 03 What's so true to me? This is, I feel like people are gonna be like, of course this girl thinks this.
50:18 Speaker 03 But I think we should be drinking raw milk.
50:21 Speaker 04 What?
50:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
50:23 Speaker 04 Natalie.
50:24 Speaker 03 It's really good for your immune system. And it just has a lot of benefits in it. And actually, people who are lactose intolerant have a easier time digesting it because it has naturally occurring lactase from the probiotics. The byproduct of the bacteria in it is lactase.
50:48 Speaker 04 I can't tell, I'm gonna be honest with you.
50:51 Speaker 04 I can't tell if you're a genius and I'm an idiot sheaf. Because what you're saying sounds really convincing. And I actually don't know enough about raw milk. I just know that a bunch of people I don't like are pro raw milk.
51:03 Speaker 03 Right, right.
51:03 Speaker 04 And a bunch of people I do like think that they're idiots. And so that's kind of where I've fallen in.
51:07 Speaker 03 I know, this is where I feel so-
51:07 Speaker 04 But you're somebody I'm like who is smart.
51:09 Speaker 03 This is where I feel so conflicted. Thank you, Caleb.
51:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:12 Speaker 03 Like, this is why I'm so embarrassed to share is because so many unlikable people are pro raw milk. And I'm like-
51:20 Speaker 04 The raw milk community has a likability problem.
51:21 Speaker 03 I know, and I don't wanna be like, you know, conflated with them. And so I just like, I feel like I'm at a crossroads here. Cause like, a lot of like, my education from having my mystery illness, like, kinda dipped me into like, this world of unlikable, like, weird people. But I kind of have like, a soft spot in my heart for them because I see where they're coming from.
51:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:52 Speaker 03 And some of the info they gave me helped me through some tough times, you know? So, yeah, it's like, so when they say shit about 5G and stuff, I'm like, yeah, maybe.
52:06 Speaker 04 Maybe.
52:07 Speaker 03 You know, I think like, yeah, maybe. But then I'm thinking like, all my friends who I think like, are smart and are like, this is fucking bullshit stuff, you know? I see what they're saying too, like my friend who called the FBI on me.
52:22 Speaker 03 She is like on the total opposite side of the pond, you know what I mean? Like she...
52:31 Speaker 03 My friend who called the ad on me is so funny. Shout out Carrie Poppy. Shout out! I don't think she'd mind me saying.
52:44 Speaker 03 But, uh...
52:47 Speaker 03 Like, you know what I mean? Like, she's more in the camp of people like you're saying, like, who think like the raw milk people are stupid and stuff like that. But when you get down to the brass tacks of like this milk, it's a magic milk dude. And it's fucking tasty as hell. It's so good and creamy. Where are you even getting this? I should have brought you some. I should have frickin' brought some. Isn't there an Air One around the corner? Does it make you sick? No, it... Well, you know, anything can make you sick, right? Okay.
53:21 Speaker 03 Okay, now I kinda see where we're at. You have to, you have to get it from like a farm that takes really good care of their cows and stuff like that. And, you know, a lot of these farms that sell raw milk, they flash test it to make sure it's in good condition and it's not contaminated with any sort of toxins or bacteria or anything. But, so it's just easier for lactose intolerant people to digest it because of the naturally occurring lactase. And it's beneficial to your immune system because there's probiotics in it. Because, you know, what do babies drink when they first come out? Milk, right? And so it's the thing that baby cows use to, you know, kickstart their immune system. What would you say to someone who says, "But we're not cows"? Exactly. That's what I was thinking. "We're not cows."
54:06 Speaker 03 I would just say, like, "Well, that's true." Like, "That is true." But, uh, you know, there's also, but even though we're not cows and it's primarily, like, you know, created for the cow's immune system, we still reap some benefits from it. Yeah. And I would also say like, "Well, we're, you know, this is another thing that I'm gonna..." Listen, I have a lot of vegan friends, I just wanna say. But I will also say, "This is so true, okay? We're at the top of the food chain, people." "We're at the top of the food chain."
54:41 Speaker 03 That's why we eat cows.
54:43 Speaker 04 Yes.
54:44 Speaker 03 Cause we're at the top.
54:45 Speaker 04 Say that.
54:45 Speaker 03 We can, and also like,
54:50 Speaker 03 that's not really a reason for not eating cows. I guess it's not a reason for not eating milk. Like you're not a, you're not a cow, so don't drink the cow's milk, but we're at the top of the food chain.
54:59 Speaker 04 Speaking of the vegan thing though, being at the top of the food chain, do you ever have like a woke lib moment where you go total vegan brain? Like, for example, there was a spider the other day.
55:10 Speaker 03 Okay.
55:10 Speaker 04 That was crawling on the floor. I doubt he could have ever done anything to me. And I went, I had an impulse to go and step on him.
55:16 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
55:16 Speaker 04 Cause I didn't want him crawling around. Cause I'm thinking if I fall asleep, he might crawl on my mouth or something.
55:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55:20 Speaker 04 Or what if he's poisonous and he does end up biting me?
55:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:23 Speaker 04 And then right when I went, I raised my foot over him. And then I said, if I was his size and he was mine, I would not want him to do that to me.
55:30 Speaker 03 Right.
55:30 Speaker 04 And I had a moment where I thought, maybe I'm vegan.
55:33 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. No, I have that with bugs. Like I won't kill bugs or anything like that. I won't kill spiders. There was a huge spider nest, like in my apartment, like in this corner, there was just like, maybe like 50 spiders I saw once when I, when I moved a chair. And similarly to you, I was just like, I'm not gonna touch it.
55:54 Speaker 04 I don't, that's not what I was saying.
56:02 Speaker 04 No, I think you should have probably, I'm not like, I'm not like kill those guys, but I, did you get him out of there?
56:08 Speaker 03 Well, I moved.
56:12 Speaker 03 So that was, I was living in Venice and I recently moved to Eagle Rock. So that was in my place in Venice, yeah.
56:18 Speaker 04 You got far away from those spiders.
56:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, but pretty much every night when I was living there, I had a bunch of spider bites when I woke up. But I was just like, they live here.
56:29 Speaker 03 So I guess in a way I am like woke lib. That's the thing that I'm scared about people thinking I'm like, you know, like, um, what's the opposite of woke lib?
56:38 Speaker 04 A bad guy.
56:39 Speaker 03 A bad guy, yeah. I don't want people to think I'm a bad guy. Cause I'm into raw milk, but a lot of raw milk people are bad guys.
56:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:46 Speaker 03 Right?
56:47 Speaker 04 I can't get over Venice to Eagle Rock.
56:49 Speaker 03 Oh, the move.
56:50 Speaker 04 What changed in you?
56:51 Speaker 03 Well, I moved to Venice during Covid, so I was like, I love the beach.
56:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:56 Speaker 03 And nothing's happening over here. And then I lived there for four years. And I just got sick of driving back and forth for shows all the time and stuff.
57:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, pretty simple explanation, as it turns out.
57:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, turns out.
57:09 Speaker 03 Do you think I'm a bad person?
57:11 Speaker 04 No, I really don't.
57:12 Speaker 03 Okay.
57:13 Speaker 04 I have some really tough questions for you about several topics.
57:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
57:17 Speaker 04 I would love to meet some of the people that you're fraternizing with and suss them out myself.
57:21 Speaker 03 Listen, I have to like, this guy from Sepanga, you have to meet him. You would love him.
57:26 Speaker 04 I think with supervision and in a public space.
57:29 Speaker 03 He makes his own currency called the Xeran. Let me see if I can find this.
57:35 Speaker 04 Natalie, it's not helping.
57:36 Speaker 03 Oh.
57:36 Speaker 04 No, find it. It's just not helping his case at all.
57:40 Speaker 03 Okay.
57:42 Speaker 04 What do you mean? What do you mean? He makes his own currency? Who's engaging in it with him?
57:47 Speaker 03 I think it's just like symbolic, you know, he can't actually use it, obviously. Here's the Xeran.
57:58 Speaker 03 Okay.
57:59 Speaker 04 Here's the Xeran.
58:02 Speaker 04 Godzillion. International notes of enthusiasm. I mean, it's not not cool.
58:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you read like the fine print, you'll like get into his head a little bit.
58:13 Speaker 04 International bank of enthusiasm. It's a symbol for the in-between of all opposition. When you understand the blank, you know, it's never been about this or or that it's been this and that from the get-go. There's a zero or nothing on this side and a one or something on that side. With every conceivable thing in between, but this is his, his currency, by the way, has like an essay on it. Between the banks of nothing and something, the river of everything flows. We're in that bars, actually. We're in that flow and everything is there and we are that. So if you know that you still want more, you're a moron. Don't worry though.
58:46 Speaker 03 You're a moron.
58:47 Speaker 04 Provide a lesson, maybe a series of lessons. So you can get your groove on by understanding the value of Xeran.
58:56 Speaker 03 Right on.
58:57 Speaker 04 Right on.
58:59 Speaker 04 And also, the thing about, the thing about people that I think are crazy is every third or fourth sentence of their diatribe will hit like crazy.
59:07 Speaker 03 Right, right. Wait, let me see if I can find the other side to it, Godzilla. You know, here's the other side. Has Godzilla on it.
59:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, that makes sense. I figured it would. Oh, and a lot more texts. Okay.
59:19 Speaker 04 You can't even really understand how small the text is. "The extent that we impose our will on another is the gauge of our own enslavement." "The Dominator model doesn't work, never did. Those who engage in imposition are imposters, attempting the impossible." I mean, he's not not cool.
59:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um, yeah.
59:36 Speaker 04 I'm not letting him give me shots.
59:38 Speaker 03 Right, right, right, right.
59:39 Speaker 04 Of any kind for any reason.
59:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know. You wouldn't, you wouldn't need to.
59:42 Speaker 04 But I'd take a piece of his money and look at it.
59:43 Speaker 03 Sure, why not? Yeah, I'll try to find one for you. I'll bring it to New York for you.
59:47 Speaker 04 That would mean the world to me.
59:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, of course.
59:49 Speaker 04 Are you pretty close to giving your possessions to him and like moving on to a plot of land that he owns or no?
59:54 Speaker 03 Um, I was at a point, like a low point, you know?
59:58 Speaker 04 That's pretty scary.
59:58 Speaker 03 I moved to Topanga during this low point because I was like, yeah, just so sick all the time and this guy was helping me and I just felt like I needed to be in the woods.
1:00:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:11 Speaker 04 Well...
1:00:12 Speaker 03 But I had a cool birthday party there.
1:00:13 Speaker 04 I believe it. I really believe it, Natalie. We have a segment for you.
1:00:17 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
1:00:17 Speaker 04 The episode has been a lot about what's true and what's not true.
1:00:20 Speaker 03 Sure.
1:00:21 Speaker 04 And we're gonna give you an opportunity here to really show off your skills. This is a true or false segment.
1:00:24 Speaker 03 Oh, okay, okay.
1:00:25 Speaker 04 I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can, after each one, if you think what I just said is true or false.
1:00:32 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:00:32 Speaker 04 If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.
1:00:35 Speaker 03 Wow.
1:00:36 Speaker 04 Or maybe we'll pay you in zerons.
1:00:39 Speaker 04 "The LA Clippers are older than the LA Lakers."
1:00:41 Speaker 03 True.
1:00:42 Speaker 04 False.
1:00:42 Speaker 03 Fuck.
1:00:43 Speaker 04 "J-Wow from Jersey Shore is an Air Force veteran."
1:00:45 Speaker 03 False.
1:00:45 Speaker 04 False. "The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards."
1:00:48 Speaker 03 True.
1:00:49 Speaker 04 True. "Penguins can sweat."
1:00:50 Speaker 03 True.
1:00:51 Speaker 04 False. "Coffee is a fruit."
1:00:53 Speaker 03 True.
1:00:53 Speaker 04 True. "Indiana University of Pennsylvania's mascot is Norm the Crimson Hawk."
1:00:57 Speaker 03 True.
1:00:57 Speaker 04 True. "A group of jellyfish is called a smack."
1:01:00 Speaker 03 False.
1:01:01 Speaker 04 True.
1:01:02 Speaker 03 Fuck.
1:01:02 Speaker 04 "CIA stands for Central Information Agency."
1:01:05 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:06 Speaker 04 False. Central Intelligence Agency.
1:01:07 Speaker 03 Ah.
1:01:08 Speaker 04 "The Pittsburgh Steelers have won six Super Bowls."
1:01:10 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:10 Speaker 04 True. "Samuel Beckett wrote the play 'Noises Off.'"
1:01:13 Speaker 03 False.
1:01:13 Speaker 04 False. It was Michael Frayn. "Only 3% of the water on Earth is fresh water."
1:01:17 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:18 Speaker 04 That is true. There are thirteen books in the original Magic School Bus series.
1:01:21 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:21 Speaker 04 True. flamingos are born pink.
1:01:23 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:23 Speaker 04 False. They turn pink from eating shrimp.
1:01:25 Speaker 03 Fuck you.
1:01:25 Speaker 04 Bernie Sanders is older than the Fender Guitar Company.
1:01:28 Speaker 03 False.
1:01:28 Speaker 04 True.
1:01:29 Speaker 03 Fuck.
1:01:29 Speaker 04 The original Nintendo Game Boy was powered by AAA batteries.
1:01:31 Speaker 03 True.
1:01:32 Speaker 04 False. Double A. How'd she do? Oh.
1:01:36 Speaker 03 Is that bad?
1:01:36 Speaker 04 Well, you just needed to get ten to win the money.
1:01:38 Speaker 03 Oh, right.
1:01:39 Speaker 04 That's all.
1:01:40 Speaker 03 Oh, right, right, right, right, right. Cool.
1:01:41 Speaker 04 But you're fine. You're gonna be fine.
1:01:43 Speaker 03 Thank you so much, yeah. Yeah.
1:01:44 Speaker 04 Natalie, we love you. Is there anything you want to tell the people before we end?
1:01:48 Speaker 03 I just want to say thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure to be here, and I swear I'm a good guy.
1:01:53 Speaker 04 She's a good guy.
1:01:55 Speaker 03 I know that, like, I believe in 5G and, uh, maybe, like, it seems like maybe it might be harming the bees, but I'm not totally aligned with, like, most of the people that think that.
1:02:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:08 Speaker 03 If that makes sense.
1:02:09 Speaker 04 You're on your own. You're on your own.
1:02:10 Speaker 03 I'm on my own fe- like, yeah, I'm on my own playing field.
1:02:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:14 Speaker 03 And do you think we live in a simulation? What do you think?
1:02:16 Speaker 04 Uh...
1:02:17 Speaker 03 I didn't get really, like, a hard answer.
1:02:20 Speaker 04 I don't know. I think no. I think I don't care.
1:02:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:02:24 Speaker 04 I think I just don't care.
1:02:26 Speaker 03 I think ultimately I don't think we are.
1:02:27 Speaker 04 Like, either way, if in the simulation, I feel good when I do certain things and bad when I do others, and so that's gonna remain true regardless.
1:02:34 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:02:34 Speaker 04 I need to feel good more than I feel bad, whether I'm truly in control or not.
1:02:40 Speaker 04 Don't you think?
1:02:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, hundred percent. Wow. I think that's the way to, that's the way to live.
1:02:44 Speaker 04 Well, you want to tell people where they can find you?
1:02:45 Speaker 03 You can find me on Instagram at Natalie Palamides, and I'm still on the other website. Sorry.
1:02:54 Speaker 04 Natalie.
1:03:00 Speaker 04 We love you. Thanks for doing it.
1:03:01 Speaker 03 Thanks for having me.
1:03:02 Speaker 04 Oh, so fun.
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