Pod Insights So True with Caleb Hearon Josh Sharp is in His Body About this episode It’s the final So True of the year and we’re all wishing you the happiest of holidays. Our gift to you is this week’s guest, the hilarious Josh Sharp! Caleb and Josh talk in depth about pronouns, the countrification of modern culture, dream roles, dating, dancing, and much more!
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for full video episodes!
Join our Patreon for an exclusive extended interview with Josh and other bonus content!
Follow Josh! @cluckcluckjoshsharp
Follow the show! @sooootruepod
Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings
Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud
Alma can help you find the right therapist for you — not just anyone. Visit helloalma.com/SOTRUE to get started and schedule a free consultation today.
Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you.
About Headgum:
Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com.
» SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1
» FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum
» FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/
» FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum
So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript 17,657 words · 5 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 This is a HeadGum Podcast.
0:05 Speaker 01 We should do a show together, but you're too busy. You'd never do a show with me.
0:08 Speaker 02 Sweetie pot kettle, don't even.
0:10 Speaker 01 You'd never do a show with me, probably.
0:11 Speaker 02 Don't even! I literally asked you to do a show before we rolled, you said no.
0:16 Speaker 02 Sorry to pull back the curtain.
0:21 Speaker 01 You know what I just re-watched?
0:23 Speaker 02 What?
0:23 Speaker 01 The 1990's Disney live-action Three Musketeers.
0:28 Speaker 02 Wow.
0:28 Speaker 01 Did you ever watch that?
0:29 Speaker 02 Yes, but not since I was a little boy.
0:31 Speaker 01 I know. It's like Kiefer Shover, Charlie Sheen, Chris O'Donnell, Oliver Platt.
0:36 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
0:37 Speaker 01 Who I love. I remember though, as a kid, there's this, there's this, well, Tim Curry plays a villain.
0:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, and first of all, one of the hottest men we have.
0:44 Speaker 01 Tim Curry.
0:44 Speaker 02 Sex.
0:45 Speaker 01 So devilish.
0:47 Speaker 02 Serves sex.
0:47 Speaker 01 There's like a, there's like a moment where, where, uh, maybe it's Charlie Sheen is like, "Enjoy your time in hell," and goes to stab him, and then Tim Curry pulls out a gun and shoots him and goes, "You first." And I'm like, what? And I was like, "Ah!" But I remember watching-
1:02 Speaker 02 Kiefer hot, too.
1:03 Speaker 01 Kiefer hot.
1:04 Speaker 02 You watched 24, growing up in the heartland, I'm sure.
1:06 Speaker 01 I did not watch 24.
1:07 Speaker 02 Oh, down south, we were obsessed with it.
1:09 Speaker 01 We were watching 24 down there.
1:10 Speaker 02 You know, the towers had just fallen, 24 was everything to us.
1:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, you were watching 24 in North Carolina.
1:14 Speaker 02 Absolutely, you had to.
1:15 Speaker 01 You were locked in.
1:16 Speaker 02 What else would you talk about around the locker, the cooler?
1:19 Speaker 01 The locker?
1:19 Speaker 02 The water cooler, that's the phrase.
1:21 Speaker 01 Around the locker?
1:22 Speaker 02 Surrounding the locker in a tight circle.
1:24 Speaker 01 Uh, well, I, but both, there were two bad, there were, okay, so, Tim Curry, big bad guy.
1:30 Speaker 02 Big, one of the biggest and baddest.
1:31 Speaker 01 And then there's like a running, uh, gag where D'Artagnan has slept with this guy's sister.
1:36 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
1:37 Speaker 01 And he's trying to kill-
1:37 Speaker 02 Well, that's not nice.
1:38 Speaker 01 Well, you can't sleep with someone's sister, that's a sister.
1:40 Speaker 02 That's not right.
1:41 Speaker 01 Don't sleep with someone's sister, you guys, that's wrong.
1:44 Speaker 02 Ask first.
1:44 Speaker 01 Ask the brother, and then the dad, and then any other men that she might-
1:49 Speaker 02 Especially in that time, in that era.
1:50 Speaker 01 Yes!
1:51 Speaker 02 That was how you did things.
1:52 Speaker 01 That's how I still do things.
1:53 Speaker 02 Now you might ask their lesbian moms.
1:55 Speaker 01 Yes!
1:55 Speaker 02 It's not always asking the dad anymore.
1:57 Speaker 01 Oh, golly, and it's not, it's not telling.
1:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:59 Speaker 01 Now it's, now there's, now there's two moms instead of a protective brother. You know, I don't sleep with women because I got tired of asking so much permission.
2:05 Speaker 02 Mmm.
2:06 Speaker 01 I'm like, I don't want to take your dad's dinner.
2:07 Speaker 02 It's exhausting!
2:08 Speaker 01 Oh my goodness.
2:09 Speaker 02 How many hands? I'm not gonna ask for, you know what I mean?
2:11 Speaker 01 Let me just fuck your son.
2:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, say that.
2:13 Speaker 01 Cause no one's checking in on him.
2:15 Speaker 02 The dads don't wanna know, quite frankly.
2:16 Speaker 01 No, and they don't want-
2:17 Speaker 02 Boys will be boys, these dads are saying about that stuff.
2:21 Speaker 01 But the guy, the guy who wants to kill D'Artagnani for sleeping with his sister, his energy is also very, like, Tim Curry's such a queer energy-
2:26 Speaker 02 It's always he/him who wants to kill, first of all, let's say that.
2:29 Speaker 01 First of all, he is-
2:29 Speaker 02 The guy who wants to kill, that's he/him behavior.
2:31 Speaker 01 Can we just say?
2:32 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
2:33 Speaker 01 Most murder, he/him.
2:35 Speaker 02 He/him.
2:35 Speaker 01 Perpetrated by he/him.
2:36 Speaker 02 Get, I dunno, Ben Shapiro talking about that. Why, why are there so much murder in the he/him community?
2:41 Speaker 01 Why is there so much he/him murder?
2:42 Speaker 02 What is it about the he/him culture?
2:43 Speaker 01 You know what? My mom worked in a women's prison, as a nurse.
2:46 Speaker 02 Really?
2:46 Speaker 01 Every woman in there, justified. No one in there did something evil just for evil.
2:51 Speaker 02 Oh, are you kidding?
2:52 Speaker 01 Maybe two people.
2:53 Speaker 02 First, I'm the judge, someone's up for murder, first question I ask, what are your pronouns?
2:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:57 Speaker 02 And not out of politeness, to know whether to let you free or not.
3:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, leniency. Tell me this.
3:02 Speaker 02 To know whether to grant clemency, clem and she.
3:05 Speaker 01 Caleb and she. Women she.
3:08 Speaker 02 Women she.
3:09 Speaker 01 I'm granting women she.
3:10 Speaker 02 I'm glad, I'm granting women she to you.
3:12 Speaker 01 It just sucks that you got clem and she first, cause that was the better one.
3:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know.
3:15 Speaker 01 I had no choice but to riff in the lower direction.
3:18 Speaker 02 In post, you could put that one first.
3:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:21 Speaker 02 That could be what tees up mine, everybody goes, well Caleb really set him up for that.
3:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's just hard riffing with you, cause you'll get the best one first.
3:27 Speaker 02 That's that UCB training.
3:29 Speaker 01 UCB, thank you. What was UCB's theme, character or game? It was game, right?
3:32 Speaker 02 Game.
3:33 Speaker 01 Oh, golly.
3:33 Speaker 02 You're thinking Chicago, again, the heartland.
3:35 Speaker 01 Can't help it.
3:36 Speaker 02 Y'all love character in 24.
3:38 Speaker 01 Honey, that's where I came up.
3:39 Speaker 02 Yup.
3:40 Speaker 01 We're thinking about character.
3:41 Speaker 02 Down south, we were doing game.
3:44 Speaker 01 Down south in Manhattan, under a Christina's.
3:47 Speaker 02 God, I miss that era.
3:48 Speaker 01 Golly, can we bring it back?
3:50 Speaker 02 You were I.O.
3:51 Speaker 01 I was I.O.
3:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, you know this, I used to, every fall break, we're rolling, right?
3:55 Speaker 01 Oh yeah.
3:56 Speaker 02 Um, every fall break, my college troupe would get in on Wednesday, so we could see TJ and Dave leave on Sunday, so we could catch improvised shakes. We'd go on fall break, and we'd always be like, we gotta get there Wednesday for TJ and Dave, and then we'll see shakes on Saturday, and then we'll leave Sunday morning.
4:09 Speaker 01 And just for the uninitiated, Shakespeare is gonna go ahead and be-
4:12 Speaker 02 Improvised Shakespeare.
4:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's beautiful, that's beautiful, men in blouses, why not?
4:17 Speaker 02 Why not? At last.
4:18 Speaker 01 As a judge.
4:19 Speaker 02 Me exhaling, closet at nineteen.
4:21 Speaker 01 Oh, men in blouses.
4:23 Speaker 02 Seeing Thomas Middleditch in a skirt.
4:26 Speaker 02 Do you know something, I was telling this to a friend recently, because I also identify as charming.
4:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:30 Speaker 02 I, I love to be the friend's wingman. Like you're me, like, I love to be the friend that when you're, you're new plus one is sort of like coming out to be the one who's so fun that they're like, your friends are fun. And also, little do you know, UCB training, I'm teeing you up all night to look funny.
4:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:45 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
4:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:46 Speaker 02 That's one of the best things, is to charm a friend's date.
4:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:48 Speaker 02 Into being like, welcome to the coven, you picked the right one. You know what I mean?
4:52 Speaker 01 I would love to bring a date around you.
4:53 Speaker 02 Oh, honey, not only would I be so fun, I would make you look so good. And they'd walk away, the illusion that would never be, you know, they would not know how much work it took for us to like, sort of make this happen.
5:03 Speaker 01 Josh, can I tell you something really funny?
5:05 Speaker 02 Anything, baby.
5:06 Speaker 01 That I haven't told you yet?
5:07 Speaker 02 Sugar, please.
5:08 Speaker 01 Sugar, I've been big on sugar lately.
5:10 Speaker 02 I know, we were talking about this, sugar's good, I sort of forgot about it.
5:12 Speaker 01 I sugared a straight man recently.
5:14 Speaker 02 And how did they receive it?
5:15 Speaker 01 He wasn't into it.
5:16 Speaker 02 Hmm.
5:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, but it was just crazy because sugar is such a delightful thing, but you can't sugar the straights.
5:20 Speaker 02 Well, you know, everybody's against big sugar now.
5:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, it all goes straight to the hips.
5:24 Speaker 02 Thank you, and, and what's the problem with that?
5:27 Speaker 01 Well, being fat.
5:28 Speaker 02 It's where you bear children, mama.
5:30 Speaker 01 Oh my god, we should bear children together.
5:32 Speaker 02 We would be such fun parents.
5:33 Speaker 01 Wait, but on that note, I have to tell you something, see, this is the issue, we're gonna get lost a lot, I've already lost the plot on the D'Artagnan thread.
5:37 Speaker 02 There's four, there's six threads we've, I've got them all here, we'll, we'll circle it back at the end.
5:41 Speaker 01 By the way, I just did Ziway's show, and I said, what would be my nightmare podcast? And I said, me and some gay guys I'm really close with, because we'll get so far from reality so quick. Guess what, we're in, we're talking about bearing children together.
5:51 Speaker 02 Here we are, absolutely.
5:52 Speaker 01 Okay, but then, the other night, you came, you came to a thing that I was going to.
5:56 Speaker 02 Yes.
5:57 Speaker 01 At a bar.
5:57 Speaker 02 Yes.
5:58 Speaker 01 I don't want to say what it is, because I go sometimes, I don't want people to come.
5:59 Speaker 02 Yes.
6:00 Speaker 01 But, you came and you met my friend Carly.
6:02 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
6:02 Speaker 01 Who's lovely.
6:03 Speaker 02 I was, I was taken.
6:04 Speaker 01 We love, oh, everyone's taken by Carly, and everyone's taken by you. When, when, the next day, she and I are talking on the phone, she goes, she goes, I loved Josh.
6:12 Speaker 02 Oh, well, we love to hear that.
6:13 Speaker 01 I go, well, yes, I love Josh too, and she goes, I think you guys are in love.
6:16 Speaker 02 Oh.
6:17 Speaker 01 Oh.
6:17 Speaker 02 Well, we, how much do we want to get into it? I, we were saying off air that this has happened quick, when it's right, it's right.
6:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:24 Speaker 02 You know?
6:24 Speaker 01 This is us.
6:25 Speaker 02 We sort of had a beautiful lunch and knew, well, we're friends now.
6:27 Speaker 01 That's what it is.
6:28 Speaker 02 That's not always how it happens.
6:29 Speaker 01 Exactly correct, and I thought that was a beautiful thing that she said.
6:32 Speaker 02 That's beautiful.
6:33 Speaker 01 I said, "That is my boy."
6:33 Speaker 02 I don't refute the allegations.
6:35 Speaker 01 I don't refute the allegations. I'm in love with you.
6:36 Speaker 02 I'm in love with you. I don't deny it.
6:38 Speaker 01 Hello?
6:39 Speaker 02 I'll say it right to the judge.
6:40 Speaker 01 Hello? Well, that's another thing I want to talk about. Your judge, Eric, you said that you would give leniency based on pronouns.
6:45 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
6:45 Speaker 01 Will you just go through the pronouns and tell me what sentences you're kind of thinking generally?
6:49 Speaker 02 Great point. Um, well, he/him is, um, you know, abolish prison, but only after we send all the he/hims there, of course.
6:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:56 Speaker 02 He/hims are going right to the, to some island. He/him Island.
7:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:00 Speaker 02 I'm sending them all to He/him Island.
7:01 Speaker 01 He/him Island.
7:02 Speaker 02 The carceral state is on one island and it's for he/hims.
7:04 Speaker 01 I think they have one of those off the coast of South Carolina, don't they?
7:07 Speaker 02 Probably, honestly. I mean, I'm, I'm basically inventing a men's prison right now, is what I'm saying.
7:12 Speaker 01 You're like, "I've got an idea. It's called He/him Island." It's like, yeah, I think that's called Sing Sing. They've got that.
7:19 Speaker 02 Um, what do you think? Non-binary people, I'm sending non-binary people into the community.
7:24 Speaker 01 Into the community?
7:25 Speaker 02 And it's not for them, it's for the community.
7:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, what are they doing out there?
7:28 Speaker 02 They're just engaging.
7:29 Speaker 01 Well, if, hey, if, if experience is any, any measure, they're, uh, firing for Greenpeace. That's what they're doing out there.
7:34 Speaker 02 We would all be better to have knock, knock at the door. Hello, who are you? I'm a non-binary person sent here to talk to you.
7:40 Speaker 01 Yeah. We should start a program like that. You know how Mormon teens open up those letters and they're like,
7:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:45 Speaker 01 Uruguay, you know, we should do that with non-binary people.
7:48 Speaker 02 Rum springa, rum themma.
7:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, thank you.
7:51 Speaker 02 Not as good as some clementine, but we're working on it.
7:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, them spring up, actually, probably the stronger one.
7:57 Speaker 02 There we go.
7:57 Speaker 01 So this time I get the lead on the riff.
7:59 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
7:59 Speaker 01 Um, okay, so you're they, them, you're sending them into the community.
8:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
8:03 Speaker 01 What are you gonna do with she/her? Always a problem for, for guys like us.
8:07 Speaker 02 Yeah. I mean, earlier, we're already dabbling in clementine. Maybe they're all free. They shouldn't be there in the first place, honestly.
8:13 Speaker 01 Oh, you think women go free?
8:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:15 Speaker 01 Really?
8:15 Speaker 02 At last.
8:16 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, that's beautiful. I'm gonna cry.
8:19 Speaker 02 You are crying right now, baby. Do you see this?
8:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:22 Speaker 02 I, I'm afraid some of the wires are gonna short-circuit. Chance, can we get something to mop all this up? Caleb is weeping.
8:28 Speaker 01 Just the,
8:29 Speaker 02 There's water everywhere. Oh, my God.
8:31 Speaker 01 The idea of she/her freedom after everything?
8:34 Speaker 02 Baby, have a sip of Sprite Zero Sugar. Come on, make it, make it right.
8:39 Speaker 02 Zero sugar. See, you're against sugar too. Here you are saying, oh, nobody wants to use sugar anymore. And proudly, proudly saying zero sugar right there.
8:48 Speaker 01 Josh, you're sick. Don't bring this up. They're gonna turn on me.
8:51 Speaker 02 Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
8:52 Speaker 01 She her freedom. Audra Lord.
8:54 Speaker 02 Audra Lord, thank you a lot. Maryam Kaba, send the women home.
8:59 Speaker 01 Judith Butler.
9:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, there we go.
9:01 Speaker 01 She her freedom.
9:02 Speaker 02 There we go.
9:03 Speaker 01 Are you doing a they?
9:04 Speaker 02 No.
9:05 Speaker 01 You don't have a they on there at all?
9:06 Speaker 02 Mm-mm.
9:06 Speaker 01 Not a he, not the, not on the side of a he they.
9:09 Speaker 02 No, no. But I feel very, um, sort of like pronoun agnostic, where it's like, it's sort of fun to accept all, even though I know it's like, I'm a boy, but if you, if you want to use any, I'm gonna be like, sure.
9:19 Speaker 01 Do you feel like a man? Like if someone says, like, man, do you, because I do. I feel like a, I feel like a guy.
9:26 Speaker 02 That's a great question, because then right now, I went, I don't really, but, but yet I do feel like I'm he/him. Maybe I'm somewhat going like, I just feel like y'all have all decided I'm he/him, so I'll take it.
9:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:36 Speaker 01 Well, that's interesting.
9:36 Speaker 02 You feel like a guy.
9:38 Speaker 01 I do. I think I feel, but I don't really know what that means. It just, it's never felt dysphoric to me, to be a, to be a boy.
9:44 Speaker 02 I guess that's true. I don't feel dysphoric being a boy. I just feel like a certain type of slinky Tim Curry boy. You know what I mean?
9:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, you're, you're like, you have like an ethereal queerness.
9:53 Speaker 02 Thank you.
9:54 Speaker 01 I really don't. My queerness is very, just kind of like, my queerness is just kind of, you know?
10:00 Speaker 02 Yeah? I, I don't see that.
10:03 Speaker 01 Really?
10:03 Speaker 02 But I guess maybe it's the heartland of all. You lead with heartland.
10:06 Speaker 01 I lead with heartland. You think I lead with heartland and not queer?
10:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, don't you think?
10:11 Speaker 01 I think so. Do you think you lead with queer or North Carolina? Because to me, I see the North Carolina in you so presently.
10:17 Speaker 02 I find it's all malleable. Do you find that?
10:20 Speaker 01 Interesting.
10:20 Speaker 02 Like, I'm around certain people, and I don't mean to, but the North Carolina like slides out.
10:25 Speaker 01 Jumps.
10:26 Speaker 02 Jumps.
10:26 Speaker 01 Jumps on out of you.
10:28 Speaker 02 It is that thing where, I guess we all naturally mirror each other, but there's certain times where I catch myself and I'm like, oh, well, first of all, I look at videos of me as a little boy, and I'm like, you were such a little hick.
10:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:36 Speaker 02 Where did that go?
10:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:37 Speaker 02 You know, like, because it wasn't really a choice. It just sort of went away.
10:40 Speaker 01 It's still here.
10:41 Speaker 02 So clearly it's still there, because there's times I'm talking to people and I end up being like this. I'm talking like this, and I'm like, what happened to you? You know what I mean?
10:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:47 Speaker 02 So it's all reflected.
10:48 Speaker 01 Don't you think all of our-
10:49 Speaker 02 In the same way we clean out with certain people, you know, it's like, I guess we do sort of-
10:53 Speaker 01 You hic out.
10:53 Speaker 02 Hic out.
10:54 Speaker 01 I'm hicking out.
10:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, we're hicking out.
10:55 Speaker 01 In a hic town.
10:57 Speaker 02 Great line dance to that.
10:58 Speaker 01 Jason Aldean, you better believe it.
11:00 Speaker 02 There's a great line dance to that.
11:01 Speaker 01 Jason Aldean made some great country music in the two thousands and then he-
11:04 Speaker 02 Where'd he go?
11:05 Speaker 01 Well, I think he put out-
11:06 Speaker 02 I bet the answer's bleak, I don't want to look it up.
11:08 Speaker 01 Isn't he the one that put out, uh, spit in a cop's face, burn the flag, try that in a small town?
11:14 Speaker 02 He's that one?
11:15 Speaker 01 I think that's him.
11:16 Speaker 02 Oh my god, and here we are line dancing to his song right now. Is that reclamation or should we be not? I don't even know.
11:21 Speaker 01 His old songs were so good.
11:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:24 Speaker 01 And then he got in the, it's team of Toby Keith, Toby Keith was making, all these guys, they make such great country music and then they get obsessed with like their own iconography.
11:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:32 Speaker 01 And the, like, who they're for.
11:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:34 Speaker 01 And then they start doing this weirdo, like, fascistic, like, fucking creepy shit.
11:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:40 Speaker 01 Like fucking, uh, what was that, what was that Jason Aldean song that was like? Why do you, uh, what is, it was like one of his really, got what I got, burning it down, you make it easy, try that in a small town, sick.
11:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, I forgot, I didn't put those two together that he's the guy that was, because I remember that kerfuffle.
11:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:56 Speaker 02 I didn't really listen to the song, I just remember it like being in the news.
11:59 Speaker 01 Oh my god, Tattoos on this Town, you know that one?
12:01 Speaker 02 No.
12:01 Speaker 01 Well, okay, I'm, I grew up in a, what kind of country were you listening to growing up?
12:06 Speaker 02 Uh, not a lot because I was listening to radio country, but I didn't really like it.
12:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:10 Speaker 02 I'm like reclaiming radio country now as, as I'm getting into queer line dancing and there's a lot of like good stuff happening right now. But I was big into like folksy bluegrass stuff.
12:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:18 Speaker 02 There used to be the public radio station, um, was it W89.3, whatever, the like Asheville Boonies Public Radio Station on Sundays would, was called Coming Round the Mountain. And they'd just play like old folk and I loved that shit.
12:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, that rocks.
12:33 Speaker 02 And my brother plays mandolin, so I like that stuff.
12:35 Speaker 01 Your brother's a very talented musician.
12:36 Speaker 02 Yeah. You know what the first concert I ever saw was?
12:39 Speaker 01 What?
12:39 Speaker 02 Actually, let's take it back. First concert was, uh, contemporary Christian act, The Newsboys.
12:43 Speaker 01 Thank you.
12:44 Speaker 02 Does that mean anything to you?
12:45 Speaker 01 Thank you.
12:46 Speaker 02 Does that mean, entertaining angels by the light of my TV screen. They were Australian, um, and they loved Christ.
12:53 Speaker 01 They very strange.
12:54 Speaker 02 Sort of more than anything.
12:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:55 Speaker 02 Um. But the first secular concert, Nickel Creek.
12:58 Speaker 01 Wow.
12:59 Speaker 02 On their first album at the Asheville Civic Center.
13:02 Speaker 01 Wow.
13:02 Speaker 02 Like, Lighthouse had just come out.
13:04 Speaker 01 Country boy.
13:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, so, but I feel like I was more into that sort of side of it, because I was still like, I was an emerging music snob.
13:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:10 Speaker 02 So like, even in that climate, I was a little like, eh, country's bad. But like, have you heard, have you heard folk? You know what I mean?
13:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:17 Speaker 02 So I, so I didn't grow up on a lot of country, but you did have to sort of speak the language.
13:21 Speaker 01 How'd you get into queer line dancing? You're doing that all the time. I can't, oh my god. I can't get you to go to dinner.
13:27 Speaker 02 It's true.
13:28 Speaker 01 Half the time.
13:28 Speaker 02 I'm afflicted.
13:29 Speaker 01 Because you're doing queer line dancing seventeen times a goddamn week.
13:32 Speaker 02 I own that, I'm afflicted.
13:33 Speaker 01 I've had it.
13:34 Speaker 02 I need to be, I've, send me to He Him Island. I need to be locked up for my crimes.
13:38 Speaker 01 He Him Island, and there won't be any line dancing on He Him Island.
13:41 Speaker 02 No, ma'am.
13:41 Speaker 01 No.
13:42 Speaker 02 Uh, just some gay people I knew in LA were like posting videos, and I was like, that looks fun. And then I went in the spring with some friends. And then I kept going, and my friends don't go anymore, and I made friends who do it. Do you know what I mean?
13:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:52 Speaker 02 I was like, y'all don't, y'all, y'all aren't as down bad as me.
13:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, you were sick with it immediately.
13:57 Speaker 02 I'll see some of my friends who went early and be like, have you learned the dances? And they're like, yeah, I think I know four or five. And then in my head, I'm like, shit, I think I know ninety.
14:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:03 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? So I'm like, not a joke. Like, the other day, I checked the playlist of every one I know, and it's almost a hundred. And I was like, you're down bad.
14:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're sick.
14:11 Speaker 02 Do you want to get into that? Because you've gone.
14:13 Speaker 01 I have. I went to, I went to stud country in LA a few times. I dug it.
14:16 Speaker 02 Fabulous. And there's a whole ecosystem now of like, that party and all these other things.
14:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:20 Speaker 02 Clearly, something's happening.
14:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:22 Speaker 02 And it's like, because you know, like, western is in in the culture broadly.
14:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:27 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? Like, everybody's making country albums, like, western wear is in in fashion. It's, it's very Devil Wears Prada. Like, you think that's blue? That's cerulean. Like, this was chosen for you.
14:35 Speaker 01 This was chosen for you by us a long time ago.
14:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, western has been chosen for this moment, so it's like, no surprise that the [BLEEP] in Bushwick are like, line dancing to Hicktown, wearing wraparound sunglasses. Like, it's all a part of a broader thing, clearly.
14:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:47 Speaker 02 But it is hitting spots for me.
14:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:49 Speaker 02 Like, it's, like, it is making me go. And clearly, there's something in the air before this, like Beyonce put out 16 Carriages. Did I tell you this? And when it came out, I was playing it in the shower, like weeping, like remembering little like hick, seven-year-old me. Like, it was like making me like revisit parts of my little like closeted southern past in a way. Not that I had like, I actually don't have much shame for that part, but certainly it's things where you feel like I've moved on. I'm this hip New York person now. And I was like, living in some of that old stuff in a way that I hadn't been in a while already. And so then when this thing came in my life, I was like, well, I like being in my body. And I love just like turning my brain off and putting information in my body. And it's very queer to have this thing where it's like, I, because some of them you can find YouTube's online. Some of them you truly can't. And you have to be like, hey, do you know Stetson?
15:33 Speaker 02 Will you meet me in the park and teach me? And then some is like, I have this information in my body. I will transmit to your body. Something about that is very beautiful and queer to me. But then also there's an aspect where I'm like, I don't know why, but like reclaiming a little bit of that like country fried, southern, western thing is feeling right.
15:49 Speaker 01 That's beautiful.
15:50 Speaker 02 That was a diatribe.
15:51 Speaker 01 It can be, no, it was a beautiful diatribe. We'll be keeping it in. I think there's, it is, uh, half the time beautiful, half the time devastating that no matter what you do, you can't escape who you were when you were seven.
16:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:02 Speaker 01 It's, it's there. It's just like a hu, it's a huge, massive.
16:05 Speaker 02 And right now, I'm living in the beautiful era.
16:06 Speaker 01 And I'm often in the beautiful era personally, but only in the recent years. Like I would say in my teens and early twenties, I was so annoyed by where I was from. And I was like, oh God, this is such an unchic like thing that I was just fucking born into. I wish I had been born somewhere cool. Like my friends who were born in Manhattan and went to museums as kids.
16:23 Speaker 02 But now I'm so grateful for it.
16:24 Speaker 01 Exactly correct. Now I'm, now it's my favorite thing about me, but it took some work.
16:28 Speaker 02 But clearly I'm in some sort of like Saturn Returns about all that stuff. Well, and also now that we have to get into it, but like, you know, I had this like weird accent at the beginning of the year where it was like a near death type of thing. So I think it was like coming off of that too, that I felt very like, I need to be in my body. That was like the first move was I was like, I started taking dance classes because I was like, I want to be in my body more.
16:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:47 Speaker 02 And then I think it became a sort of trickle down where then I, it led me to that. And then it was hitting all these like emotional spots that I was like, oh, I didn't expect this to be a part of it. But it's a part of it.
16:56 Speaker 01 On the body of it all, do you know what I've gotten really unhappy with?
17:00 Speaker 02 What?
17:01 Speaker 01 I don't like when I'm on Grindr and someone wants to send me. Fifteen pictures of every angle of their naked body before we meet up? I don't need that.
17:09 Speaker 02 I don't wanna share, I wanna, could they make a shared album for vibes?
17:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:14 Speaker 02 I don't want, I don't need to see all that body.
17:15 Speaker 01 I don't need to.
17:16 Speaker 02 I need like one picture to get like a general idea.
17:18 Speaker 01 Yes, I need to know literally kinda what's going on, but I wanna.
17:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, like, just, just mostly so I'm not surprised, good or bad.
17:24 Speaker 01 I wanna get to know your body as an experience.
17:26 Speaker 02 Better than I expect, I'm also like, oh no, like I get scared.
17:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't want the fucking album.
17:30 Speaker 02 But I don't need all that. I want an album that's vibes. How do we get vibes?
17:33 Speaker 01 How do we get vibes in the album? I wanna know what it's gonna be like to chit chat with you before and after. I wanna like figure out your body together and I want you to figure out mine. I don't.
17:40 Speaker 02 Do you ever send voice memos on Grindr?
17:42 Speaker 01 Oh, absolutely. I send voice memos any time.
17:44 Speaker 02 But maybe I should, cuz that's the best vibe check, really.
17:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, to get someone's voice.
17:47 Speaker 02 And just like, cuz you get all the intonation, you get context, you know, I mean, you get, you get tone, you get timing, you get jokes, like, in fifteen seconds of you talking, I'm gonna learn more than an hour of us texting. Don't you feel?
17:59 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
18:00 Speaker 02 There's so much subtext there.
18:02 Speaker 01 I'm gonna figure out what's going on with you, what your vibe is. I had a delightful, I messaged with a guy on Grindr, uh, last week. We messaged like four messages and then he came over. And I was, we didn't exchange any nudes, which I love, that's my favorite kinda hookup. I don't wanna know really beforehand personally. And then he came over and I was so shocked by his vibe. He, I thought he was gonna be like, I thought he was gonna be very femme, which I was, I'm, I'm down. I thought he was gonna be very femme and I was like, cool, cool, that's what's coming over. And then he got there, he was like, pretty masculine and pretty low key. I thought he was gonna be like, pretty erratic based on some of the messages.
18:32 Speaker 02 Did you like that too, though?
18:33 Speaker 01 I love it, I love it all. I love it all. I was down with it. I was like, that's hot, that's cool.
18:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:37 Speaker 01 Cuz he was nice and fun. We talked about music, it was cool.
18:39 Speaker 02 Too much boy, it doesn't work for me.
18:41 Speaker 01 Doesn't work for you?
18:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:42 Speaker 01 I can get down with anything.
18:43 Speaker 02 I mean, everything has huge caveats, of course. This is, I'm painting with a broad stroke, but like, man, it's something where I go, I don't know what to do with this.
18:51 Speaker 02 I don't know what to do with this.
18:52 Speaker 01 I'm down with whatever.
18:53 Speaker 02 But I love that for you.
18:54 Speaker 01 I'm down with whatever, yeah.
18:55 Speaker 02 Are you finding, well, this is, this is so boring.
18:58 Speaker 01 No, it's not. What is it?
18:59 Speaker 02 I'm not asking is dating, is dating better in New York than LA? What I wanna, but it's gonna sound like it. But I wanna find, like, are you finding an energy shift as you're swimming in the New York pool?
19:08 Speaker 01 You asking me if dating is better in New York or LA is like, it would be equivalent to you asking me, is it better to go on a long, beautiful walk or be shot in the head?
19:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. That's what I figured. Which is why I was trying to like, think of like, there's something more interesting than that part, that part of the question. It's like, what is, what are, what energies are you noticing that are different?
19:27 Speaker 01 Uh, there, here's what I will say.
19:31 Speaker 01 There is, in New York, I love LA as a city. I really don't, so I do not subscribe to LA hate. I think LA is a wonderful city with, with some drawbacks and every city has them.
19:42 Speaker 02 This one has profound drawbacks. They're both insane and if you don't own that, you're delusional.
19:46 Speaker 01 People are, people, my friends are so, being so, uh, annoying to me now in New York. They're like, we, all that shit you talked on New York. And I'm like, everything I said about New York is still true. It is still prohibitively expensive and small and loud and gross.
19:58 Speaker 02 It's crowded and smells like piss.
20:00 Speaker 01 And it's also lovely. I mean, I'm, I, it's, I'm living in, I'm existing in many realities, as we all do. LA versus New York dating, there are a lot of differences. Here are the two that stick out to me.
20:09 Speaker 02 Okay.
20:10 Speaker 01 Uh, New York, they love a big boy.
20:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:14 Speaker 01 New Yorkers are getting down with different body types and truly, genuinely in LA, people are not getting down with different body types. People are actively, the, the vibe around body in LA, even in people I like, friends of mine, who I'm not trying to fuck. Friends of mine, the way they talk about their own body, I'm like, do you even realize the implications that that has?
20:31 Speaker 02 Really?
20:32 Speaker 01 For the people around you?
20:33 Speaker 02 Doesn't surprise me, but of course you're getting like a different point of view on it than I am.
20:37 Speaker 01 Of course. And they're being, and by the way, these are even people I like that are being careful because they know how I feel about body negativity. But they're being so gross and negative about their own body, even in ways they don't understand. I'm like, you don't even know how much you hate the idea, like you hate your, you hate your physical form and you, you actively hate fat people and you don't even realize it. And that's kind of sad. New York, less of that. Not to say there's not body hatred and weird shit in New York as well.
20:59 Speaker 02 And certain, and certain spaces, especially certain gay spaces.
21:02 Speaker 01 Of course. Yeah. God, God help me if I had to go to some of the houses on Fire Island with some of these people.
21:06 Speaker 02 Truly.
21:07 Speaker 01 But, that's one. And the second is, I think there's a higher premium in New York on intellect. I think people want to, I think in, I think in New York, there's a little bit more of like, what are you listening to? What are you reading? And like a genuine, like, I want to know what you're.
21:20 Speaker 02 What are we going to talk about after we've got?
21:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, after we come. Yeah. Once we come, once we wipe the come off with that little towel you keep over there.
21:26 Speaker 02 Cursory come wipe.
21:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:27 Speaker 02 I'm still a little sticky pre-shower. What are we talking about for 15 minutes?
21:30 Speaker 01 What are we, yeah, what book did you read recently? Now that we've come?
21:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:34 Speaker 01 Yeah. Uh, but then, uh.
21:36 Speaker 02 Nobody's asking about books in LA.
21:39 Speaker 01 Kind of know, and I'm, it sounds like I'm, like, even saying this, I'm like, it sounds like I'm working from some stereotype that was told to me of like, they don't like fat people and they don't read books.
21:47 Speaker 02 No, it's lived.
21:48 Speaker 01 But I'm like,
21:48 Speaker 02 It's lived.
21:49 Speaker 01 I'm just telling you what I've experienced.
21:51 Speaker 02 It's lived.
21:52 Speaker 01 It's real. It's true and genuine. So yeah, higher premium on intellect and they like fat people, which is good for me.
21:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:58 Speaker 02 Absolutely.
21:59 Speaker 01 Better for me.
22:00 Speaker 02 The body obsession. I was about to say, it's like so funny because we're talking about being in the body. And in some ways, they're like incredibly in their body, but like to the, to, to ill effect.
22:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:10 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
22:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:11 Speaker 02 It's weird.
22:12 Speaker 01 And I've gotten tired of the LA face. I've gotten tired of the work.
22:15 Speaker 02 Hmm.
22:15 Speaker 01 I've gotten tired, I've, I'm sorry. I know. Everyone do your own thing. It's supposed to be whatever makes you happy.
22:20 Speaker 02 Lizzo says love for yourself.
22:21 Speaker 01 Everybody, everybody with the face work, the actors.
22:25 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
22:25 Speaker 01 Everybody in movies looks ridiculous now. They look insane.
22:28 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
22:29 Speaker 01 I am begging people to just let yourself age. My god.
22:32 Speaker 02 Or, or I sort of like if you go like full Madonna.
22:34 Speaker 01 Go crazy. Sure.
22:36 Speaker 02 When people are trying to read her for it as if she's trying to not look like that. I was like, she's not trying to like hide her age. She's trying to look like Amanda LaPorte.
22:43 Speaker 01 She's Madonna.
22:44 Speaker 02 And I sort of celebrate that. You're like, I've created myself as art object, really.
22:47 Speaker 01 I think go nuts, do whatever you need to do for you personally. I think we don't need to have every actor in every movie look like that.
22:53 Speaker 02 It's the uncanny valley.
22:55 Speaker 01 It's insane.
22:55 Speaker 02 Do it or don't.
22:56 Speaker 01 Yeah. Go nuts.
22:57 Speaker 02 Don't do this like, I just happen to be this way. No, you don't.
23:00 Speaker 01 No, you don't. That's fake.
23:01 Speaker 02 No, you don't. That's fake.
23:01 Speaker 01 You fixed your face up. Jane Fonda. A lot of work. Looks great.
23:04 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:04 Speaker 01 Go nuts.
23:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, go nuts.
23:05 Speaker 01 Looks like a fake face, but it's like she knows what she's doing. She likes it.
23:07 Speaker 02 Absolutely. Get her back on top of a tank with that, with that new face.
23:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, why not? Well, be careful up there though.
23:13 Speaker 02 Be careful.
23:13 Speaker 01 At this age, it's not the same.
23:14 Speaker 02 That's true.
23:15 Speaker 01 I don't like the work. The work is bothering me. I don't like seeing it on my screen. Every fucking movie trailer now, I'm like, that's not, that's not a person.
23:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:22 Speaker 01 They're like, this woman is, they're like, this woman is a downtrodden gas station employee in Kentucky. I'm like, she's got veneers.
23:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly.
23:28 Speaker 01 What's going on?
23:29 Speaker 02 Insurance ain't covering that. I know.
23:30 Speaker 01 Honey.
23:31 Speaker 02 So she's got money.
23:32 Speaker 01 No, it can't be. It can't be.
23:34 Speaker 02 Veneers. Veneers are hard for me.
23:36 Speaker 01 I get it. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it. I'm just like, does everyone need to have the same teeth and cheeks?
23:40 Speaker 02 They do look like big chick lit horse teeth.
23:42 Speaker 01 Of course they do.
23:43 Speaker 02 I see them a mile away.
23:44 Speaker 01 I kind of like my fucked up teeth.
23:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, mine are like minorly fucked up and I'm down for it.
23:48 Speaker 01 This one's pushed back. These ones are a little crooked.
23:50 Speaker 02 My bottoms are crowded.
23:51 Speaker 01 I kind of like it.
23:52 Speaker 02 Dennis keeps telling me, you know, your bottoms are getting crowded. I go, sweetie, yeah, hello.
23:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, hey.
23:55 Speaker 02 Every party in New York.
23:57 Speaker 01 Every party in New York. Crowded with bottoms, sweetie.
24:00 Speaker 02 Crowded bottoms. What is this? Horse meat disco?
24:02 Speaker 01 Come on now.
24:02 Speaker 02 Come on. But, um, I'm, I'm cool with it.
24:05 Speaker 01 Crowded bottoms. Is this the eagle?
24:08 Speaker 02 Do you go to the Eagles?
24:09 Speaker 01 Your dad just goes, "Oh, very fun."
24:14 Speaker 01 Dad just goes, "Oh, Josh, I love that."
24:16 Speaker 02 Oh, you gay guys.
24:17 Speaker 01 Oh.
24:18 Speaker 02 I love to get in that mouth.
24:19 Speaker 01 Your dad just...
24:20 Speaker 02 I say, "Sweetie."
24:20 Speaker 01 Pull back.
24:21 Speaker 02 Line up.
24:22 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh. Josh, knock it off. Back in.
24:25 Speaker 02 Class to the hygienist. Cancel my next three appointments. We're running long again.
24:32 Speaker 02 Me, size queen. He's got gay voice too, for some reason.
24:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:36 Speaker 02 He's got 1950s Hollywood center square gay voice. Oh, God. Oh, God.
24:42 Speaker 01 Cancel my root canal. Josh wants to do a top five. He's Markham Martindale. I'm trying to clean your teeth.
24:51 Speaker 02 Sweetie, shut up and let me scrape.
24:53 Speaker 01 Honey, if I wanted to hear you talk, I'd shove my hand up your ass and mark you like a puppet. Hush.
25:03 Speaker 02 Okay, when people are like, um, you know that question of like, what role on Broadway would you do? I'm gonna now say Little Shop and I'm the dentist, but he's a...
25:11 Speaker 01 Yeah. Dentist from Little Shop. Do you have any questions? If so, direct them to my publicist. I'm not talking to you about it until I'm cast.
25:21 Speaker 01 What is your dream role?
25:22 Speaker 02 I don't actually have an answer for that.
25:23 Speaker 01 Oh, stop it.
25:24 Speaker 02 No, I really don't. That's why I was thinking of it recently. I forget why it came up, where I was like, I don't have a go-to in the theater space. I like a lot of theater, but there's not one that I need to have that answer, don't I? Do you have one?
25:35 Speaker 01 No.
25:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
25:36 Speaker 01 No, I'm just the interviewer.
25:38 Speaker 02 One exists somewhere, but I haven't found it. Sound off in the comments, I guess.
25:41 Speaker 01 Sound off in the comments of what Josh should play on Broadway.
25:43 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I don't have one. I don't have one. Are you much of a theater queen?
25:48 Speaker 01 No, I enjoy. I go when my friends are in something.
25:50 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
25:50 Speaker 01 Um, but I'm not. It's never been. I'm not. I, I didn't do it in high school, and then when I got to college, I started hanging out with a lot of theater kids, Chance included.
25:59 Speaker 02 Y'all know each other from that?
26:00 Speaker 01 From college, yeah. Chance was a, uh, BFA, musical theater. I went to all of his little shows.
26:05 Speaker 02 What's your dream role, Chance? You have it, then.
26:08 Speaker 02 Uh, bottom. Sure. Yeah.
26:11 Speaker 01 He was great in it. Bottom of Midsummer, I went.
26:14 Speaker 02 I mean.
26:15 Speaker 01 It was good.
26:16 Speaker 02 Whatever, we know.
26:17 Speaker 01 You're funny. Not gay enough, though. Yeah. You're not very good at gay. You're just.
26:24 Speaker 02 Come on, give it one try.
26:25 Speaker 01 Chance.
26:26 Speaker 02 Come on.
26:27 Speaker 01 But I don't know, I.
26:27 Speaker 02 Do you wanna do that gay voice we were doing earlier, just one time?
26:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't wanna say like you do in private and here on the pod? Get him cancelled. Get him cancelled.
26:37 Speaker 02 Oh god, the pod would fall apart!
26:38 Speaker 01 Oh, the pod would fall apart without chance.
26:40 Speaker 02 Think of the pod without chance, I don't even want to.
26:41 Speaker 01 I don't want to, what makes me sick.
26:43 Speaker 02 It makes, makes me sick. Makes me absolute sick.
26:45 Speaker 01 Think of your dentist without your jokes.
26:46 Speaker 02 Oh, honey, I don't want to.
26:48 Speaker 01 Structural beam.
26:49 Speaker 02 I'd be caked in plaque in that instance, I would, I wouldn't go.
26:52 Speaker 01 Goodness, I hate it.
26:53 Speaker 02 I hate it.
26:54 Speaker 01 Well, I would love to see you in any show.
26:57 Speaker 02 And, and you.
26:58 Speaker 01 And you.
26:58 Speaker 02 What should we do together, I guess? Oh, let's do Waiting for Godot, the two of us.
27:02 Speaker 01 I, I mean.
27:03 Speaker 02 That could be fun, us clowning around.
27:06 Speaker 01 Waiting for Gato. Waiting for homo.
27:08 Speaker 02 Waiting for Gato.
27:09 Speaker 01 We should do a show together, but you're too busy. You'd never do a show with me.
27:12 Speaker 02 Sweetie pot kettle, don't even.
27:14 Speaker 01 You'd never do a show with me.
27:15 Speaker 02 Don't even! I literally asked you to do a show before we rolled, you said no.
27:21 Speaker 02 Sorry to pull back the curtain.
27:22 Speaker 01 Actually, it's even worse, what I said was.
27:25 Speaker 02 I'll come.
27:25 Speaker 01 I'm free that night, I might come and watch, but I'm not performing. My answer's even worse than no. It's, I can come, I might actually be there, and I'm not getting on stage. That is so funny.
27:38 Speaker 02 Life is long, though, we'll do a show.
27:39 Speaker 01 We'll definitely do a show.
27:40 Speaker 02 I'm a seer, I have sight.
27:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:42 Speaker 02 And I've seen that, you know?
27:43 Speaker 01 You, I mentioned yesterday, we recorded, uh, Jay Jordan, and we were talking.
27:47 Speaker 02 Wonderful person.
27:48 Speaker 01 Oh, wonderful person.
27:49 Speaker 02 God, ugly guy, ugly body.
27:51 Speaker 01 Oh, disgusting creature.
27:53 Speaker 02 Nasty, ugly guy.
27:54 Speaker 01 Disgusting creature from hell.
27:56 Speaker 02 Conventionally ugly body.
27:57 Speaker 01 Jay Jordan, you sick, sloppy.
28:00 Speaker 02 And not funny.
28:00 Speaker 01 Messy individual.
28:02 Speaker 02 Oh.
28:02 Speaker 01 Who can't write or tell a joke.
28:04 Speaker 02 No.
28:04 Speaker 01 Jay, get out of here.
28:06 Speaker 02 He makes me mad.
28:06 Speaker 01 Oh, I hate him.
28:07 Speaker 02 He's one of those who he's like, um, how about three jokes when one could do?
28:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:11 Speaker 02 Like, in one breath, there's always like four laugh lines, I'm like, leave some for the rest of us.
28:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's, he's like, what if this, what if every word of the setup was also a punchline?
28:18 Speaker 02 I know, it's not right.
28:18 Speaker 01 I'm like, what if you fuck off?
28:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:20 Speaker 01 And let the rest of us breathe a little bit.
28:22 Speaker 02 I have pecs.
28:22 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
28:23 Speaker 02 Good god.
28:23 Speaker 01 Oh, and you're one of the most ripped individuals alive?
28:25 Speaker 02 Get going.
28:25 Speaker 01 And you're in a healthy marriage and you're open? Well, open people, ugh, no, I'm sorry, I know everyone's doing it.
28:30 Speaker 02 You know, it, and it's, it's good or bad depending on the situation, just as monogamy is.
28:35 Speaker 01 How's it for you?
28:36 Speaker 02 Good?
28:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:38 Speaker 02 Wait, what were you about Jay Jordan?
28:40 Speaker 01 Uh, I was gonna say on his episode where it was really raining and so he had an umbrella and I was telling him about your, your umbrella bit that I love from your latest show.
28:48 Speaker 02 Oh.
28:48 Speaker 01 Your people in Manhattan should have to have a-
28:50 Speaker 02 Sometimes I feel like that's hack, but New York crowds like it.
28:52 Speaker 01 I love it.
28:54 Speaker 02 I feel like there's a version of it that's hack that I'm trying to make not hack by like sort of adding too many monosyllabic words.
29:00 Speaker 01 Right.
29:01 Speaker 02 A lot of my comedy is that. It's like, what's the dumb version and how do you say it with big words?
29:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, I like that. I like that.
29:08 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
29:09 Speaker 01 I love that show, Josh.
29:10 Speaker 02 Hey, thanks.
29:11 Speaker 01 I love your show. It's so good. I'm very excited for you to do it again. When are you doing it again?
29:16 Speaker 02 I have no plans yet because it seems in a I can't say things officially yet way that it will have a long run next summer.
29:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:25 Speaker 02 I think that I can say.
29:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:27 Speaker 02 So we're not really doing any more one offs because we're waiting for that to solidify. But I bet come next summer, you're gonna have eight chances a week to say it. Let's just, to see it. Let's just say that. You know what I mean? That's where it feels like it's going.
29:37 Speaker 01 Spoiled with riches we would be.
29:38 Speaker 02 And if that doesn't end up happening, that sucks for me.
29:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:44 Speaker 02 Just know if you hear this and months from now that doesn't come true.
29:46 Speaker 01 Know that that's bad. Yeah.
29:48 Speaker 02 And that sucks for me.
29:49 Speaker 01 My life crumbled in that area.
29:51 Speaker 02 But the thing that I was told was happened fell apart.
29:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:54 Speaker 02 And that sucks for me.
29:55 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah.
29:56 Speaker 02 Don't come for me. What happened on that show that you said was gonna have a run? Yeah, well, I guess it didn't and not by my choosing.
30:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, I didn't decide not to do it.
30:04 Speaker 02 No, no.
30:06 Speaker 01 This is one of my favorite energies online, by the way, is when people, people in our world try to, try to like, they think the general public is so stupid that they try to play off a clear loss as like a choice. It's someone like, it's someone like, tickets aren't, tickets aren't selling to their show.
30:20 Speaker 02 Uh huh.
30:21 Speaker 01 You know, and they'll go on Instagram stories and be like, hey, you guys, last few tickets available. Like, go get them right now while you can. And it's like, it's been on sale for months.
30:29 Speaker 02 It's like, we know.
30:29 Speaker 01 You can tell that it's not the last few tickets.
30:31 Speaker 02 We know.
30:31 Speaker 01 I genuinely, I'm not being mean because we've all done it. I love that energy. I think it's so awesome. I think it's hilarious.
30:36 Speaker 02 You like that, that smokescreen?
30:38 Speaker 01 I think it's funny. I'm like, this is funny that we all do this.
30:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:40 Speaker 01 Because by the way, partially when you do that, you're doing it not even for the general public. You're doing it for your peers.
30:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:45 Speaker 01 To be like, my show's selling really well. Don't, you know?
30:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:48 Speaker 01 I think that's funny.
30:49 Speaker 02 You have to sort of, um- I guess that's true, this business is, it is funny, but it's also a shame that you have to sort of like, at all times, be projecting that things are going pretty well.
30:57 Speaker 01 Of course, it's a, it's an, it's an actual shame.
30:59 Speaker 02 Where are our spaces to go, actually, my career's only okay?
31:02 Speaker 01 It's this podcast, that's where you can do that. And I'll tell you, my other favorite thing that I love is when someone gets an objectively hurtful review of their project, and then they, they go, you know what? This bothers me so little, I'm posting it.
31:15 Speaker 02 Oh, well, we did that, but it was so funny to us.
31:17 Speaker 01 If it's funny-
31:18 Speaker 02 Me and Aaron got some like, really hysterical, like, bad reviews of our film, which we knew would happen.
31:23 Speaker 01 Dicks the Musical, stream now.
31:24 Speaker 02 Stream now on Max. But the, it was so funny, because in the lead up, everybody's like, oh my god, I bet you're so excited for like, Fox News to find this. And we were like, first of all, no, I'm not excited for that.
31:33 Speaker 01 Right, I'm scared.
31:34 Speaker 02 And we were like, and second of all, I don't know that that's gonna happen. I think we've made a rather niche film that's gonna, and I think people in our bubble are gonna dislike it, and people are like, no conservatives are gonna rip it. Of course, it was like, well, a ton of liberals hated it.
31:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:44 Speaker 02 And those, those were the funniest hate reviews to us.
31:47 Speaker 01 Of course.
31:48 Speaker 02 There is one we posted where this person just kept as a refrain, because she was ripping it, and she kept like, every fourth line going, and again, all caps, I am a lesbian.
32:00 Speaker 02 She keeps coming back to this.
32:01 Speaker 01 See, but to me, there's a subtle difference between-
32:03 Speaker 02 That was so funny to us.
32:04 Speaker 01 There's a subtle difference between one that's actually funny and one that's pure vitriol. Like, sometimes people, like, I'll share one that's like, someone, for sweethearts, I, the, the, during the festival period-
32:13 Speaker 02 Stream on Max.
32:14 Speaker 01 Stream on Max. During the festival period-
32:16 Speaker 02 Great double feature, actually.
32:17 Speaker 01 By the way, stream on Max, Dicks the Musical, and then stream on Max Sweetheart.
32:20 Speaker 02 What order do you think? Is there a first and a second?
32:23 Speaker 01 I would go, I would go Sweetheart's first, just in case they don't make it to a second one.
32:30 Speaker 01 Just in case they get tired.
32:31 Speaker 02 Just queue up dicks when you go to sleep, because I could use the fraction of a penny. You know what I mean? I don't care if, I don't care if you keep your eyes open, but at least press play.
32:37 Speaker 01 Do dicks, I don't think I'd get points on Sweetheart's. Do, do dicks first, and then get to me if you have a chance. But I read the reviews only during the festival period on Letterboxd, I read a couple of them, and then did it again. And someone during that period said something, which I posted, something to the effect of, um, please put Caleb Hearon in more movies immediately, he doesn't have much time left, he's like 40. And that to me was so actually funny.
32:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:59 Speaker 01 That I was like, I have to post it. It's hilarious.
33:01 Speaker 02 But it's funny on multiple levels because one, you're not almost forty.
33:04 Speaker 01 No, I'm not.
33:04 Speaker 02 And two, if you were, you'd have tons of time left.
33:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's funny on so many levels. And also, it's like.
33:10 Speaker 02 Did Letterboxd like Sweethearts? Letterboxd didn't really like dicks. But again, that's a thing where we like knew it wasn't for them.
33:15 Speaker 01 I've heard.
33:16 Speaker 02 They didn't hate it, but it's just film people.
33:18 Speaker 01 I'm not reading it. I don't care.
33:19 Speaker 02 Like A24's accounts did not like our film because it was like, well, yeah.
33:22 Speaker 01 Yeah. I'm not reading it, but I've heard that I've heard that it's like, uh, it's not like a 4.5 on there. Like, it's not killing.
33:29 Speaker 02 I should say also, I did, I sort of don't read it. Like, I actually don't, but it's impossible for things not to get to you.
33:34 Speaker 01 Oh, they come.
33:35 Speaker 02 But people, even when you're like, I'm not looking at it, it finds a way.
33:39 Speaker 01 It comes.
33:39 Speaker 02 You have to sort of make the choice to not look at it so that you can then look at it less.
33:43 Speaker 01 Right.
33:43 Speaker 02 Because there's no rebuking the Lord.
33:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:46 Speaker 02 You know, like, it's gonna get into you.
33:48 Speaker 01 It's coming to you.
33:49 Speaker 02 People give it to you and you don't want it, and it just like bleeds. It permeates.
33:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:54 Speaker 02 So we, we were like, I would see some, even though I was choosing to not see any.
33:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:58 Speaker 02 And the choice to not see any meant I just saw a little.
34:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, you just saw a little bit.
34:01 Speaker 02 But some of them were funny.
34:02 Speaker 01 A little bit through. No, some of them are funny. And I'm being genuine, by the way. I think it's hilarious when people do that. I do legitimately love the energy of posting like straight up vitriol and being like, actually, this didn't bother me at all. It's like, clearly it did, but that's funny. I like that. I really like that. I'd like to make shirts of some of my hate comments.
34:19 Speaker 02 Do you have any? Which one would you put on a shirt right now? Because we would do the full like, you know Willie Norris? Um, Willie Norris is fabulous, um, fashion designer. And she's sort of known for Willie Norris work. She works for some big fashion house that like straight guys like, that I literally can't remember the name of. I'm probably getting all of this wrong. But what, what I know her for is Willie Norris workshop where she does a lot of like screen printed t-shirts. She used to have these socks that were like Nike socks that said, love me tender on one side and fuck me hard on the other, stuff like that.
34:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:46 Speaker 02 She has the one that say, um, uh, promote homosexuality. Those t-shirts, you've seen those?
34:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
34:50 Speaker 02 But she has this one where she's just screen printed this like awful review of, I think like a fucking Denny's or something. But when this I'm a lesbian review came out, she was like, I'm gonna make a t-shirt of that.
35:00 Speaker 01 I love that.
35:00 Speaker 02 I'm realizing out loud, I need to make her follow through on it. But anyway, this is, that was so, cut that. Good God. I'll preamble to say, what is the one you would put on a shirt first?
35:08 Speaker 01 I don't remember it word for word, but there was a DM we got on the podcast account a couple of months ago that was from like a very concerned Christian, uh, right wing person that was like, you. Enabling like devil worshipping, like you're going to hell.
35:24 Speaker 02 Clock, clocked, clocked and owned, first of all.
35:27 Speaker 01 Enabling devil worshipping. I'm like, just that alone.
35:30 Speaker 02 I feel incredibly enabled. Let me just say that.
35:32 Speaker 01 And, and the devil would feel incredibly worshipped. Were she here?
35:35 Speaker 02 Come on.
35:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:37 Speaker 02 Leave a chair for Prophet Elijah? No, for the devil.
35:39 Speaker 01 For the devil, who we worship and we frankly need in here. I would put that on a shirt. I think that's really funny.
35:45 Speaker 02 Um, well, now here's the thing though, cause I, I hear you. That part where people like share the vitriol and they're like, this didn't affect me. Um, and you're like, well, clearly it did. But there also is a doubling back where sometimes, like, I'm not convinced the self exists. And so sometimes there's a thing where you have to sort of like subjugate yourself to that to be like, I'm not real. It's like, like, all these people are thinking this thing about me, but it's not about me.
36:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:07 Speaker 02 I don't even know if I'm real and whatever you're saying is not about me.
36:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:10 Speaker 02 So it's like, it doesn't affect me, but it does affect me because it helps inform my worldview of like, I have to decentralize myself. Like I have to be like, say whatever you want. It, it doesn't. It can't matter. First of all, it's about you, not me.
36:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:21 Speaker 02 And second of all, even if it were, the self you're talking about perhaps doesn't exist.
36:24 Speaker 01 Oh, there's a person I need you to meet. I went to a, a dinner for a Jewish holiday and I forget which one.
36:31 Speaker 02 Oh, shoot.
36:31 Speaker 01 I went to a dinner.
36:32 Speaker 02 Put it in in post.
36:33 Speaker 01 I went to a dinner for Rosh Hashanah. It's like an 80 yard end, uh, at my friend's mom's house in Brooklyn. And there was a, a wonderful gay professor there, uh, who was.
36:44 Speaker 02 Love already.
36:45 Speaker 01 Obsessed with the idea that the self doesn't exist. And he and I got, uh, we were sitting next to each other while everyone else was over in the living room kind of chatting. He and I just at the table and he's going in to me about, he's like, he's like, the self doesn't exist and getting over yourself is actually the biggest thing you can do for happiness. Like getting over yourself in the literal, getting over the sense that you even exist.
37:04 Speaker 02 I think that's true.
37:05 Speaker 01 And I was like, that's beautiful. And he was.
37:06 Speaker 02 I tried to be on that journey. I got, you're right. I gotta talk to this guy.
37:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:09 Speaker 02 Um, did he have any theories on what forms consciousness?
37:12 Speaker 01 Uh, I'm sure he did and we didn't get there.
37:14 Speaker 02 I'm sort of into Hofstadter's strange loop theory.
37:17 Speaker 01 Okay, tell me about it.
37:17 Speaker 02 People should read. Well, it's, it's one of those things that is like. You read it and you're like, this is so true. And then someone's like, summarize it. You're like, couldn't if I tried.
37:27 Speaker 02 And that's like, why it feels true is because you're like, it's so layered and nuanced and complex. It essentially is sort of saying, I'm gonna give the most dumb gay guy version of it. That like, we as entities are sort of incredibly small, but also big. Like, you're this mass of individual particles that are all like uniquely motivated. And yet somehow they come together to be this thing, you know? And it's, and like, where one ends and the other begins is very porous. It's like, we shed all our cells every seven years. It's also like, the atoms that make me end in the chair begin, like, literally are trading. So it's like, that is already weird. So he's like, basically, your brain is sort of oscillating between being individual small things and this mass of big things. And he believes that the quick oscillation of that, as if you're like filming a TV,
38:12 Speaker 02 and you know, you see the TV and the TV and the TV and the TV, and it creates this thing that's not real. It's a full illusion, but it feels very real. He's like, that's what consciousness is. It's like, you're oscillating between the small and the big at all times. And so it creates this sort of like infinite loop that becomes the self. Again, does that make any sense at all? No, and yet it's beautiful. It's poetic.
38:28 Speaker 01 I don't want to think about that stuff.
38:31 Speaker 02 I understand that.
38:32 Speaker 01 Do you know what I mean?
38:33 Speaker 02 And me, it's all I want to think about.
38:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, that is, that is a one key difference between us is you're thinking about stuff like that. And my happiness is based in stupidity. I avoid and deny.
38:42 Speaker 02 Well, I like that kind of science that's so, like, I'll read stuff about like quantum mechanics and stuff because it's so highfalutin and theoretical and nonsense that it is stupid to me.
38:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:53 Speaker 02 Like, some of the hard sciences where it's like, I measured this thing and it was true. I'm like, boring, when it's like, we have no way to explain this, so I've designed the most insane theory of all time. It might as well be Tolkien. It's like, full dumb, it feels like fantasy, and I love that. It feels stupid to me how smart it is. Because it's like, we've blown past the limits of what we can understand, and we're just like, sitting in fucking, you know, tenured rooms, offices, and just like, doing thought experiments, like coming up with this cockamamie nonsense. I love it. That's gay guy shit, really.
39:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:23 Speaker 02 That's gay guy shit.
39:23 Speaker 01 Cockamamie nonsense?
39:24 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. Theoretical math, gay guy shit.
39:27 Speaker 01 Gay guy shit.
39:28 Speaker 02 When gay guys talk and chances like, what did one word of that mean? When we're like, down the house boots, honey mama. It's like, that's what these quantum physicists sound like. You know what I mean? It's like, it's all the same, it's just been ad-libbed differently.
39:41 Speaker 01 It's two silly bitches telling each other exactly.
39:43 Speaker 02 And it means something to them.
39:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:45 Speaker 02 It means something to them.
39:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:47 Speaker 02 And so I love that.
39:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:48 Speaker 02 I love that.
39:49 Speaker 01 That's gorgeous.
39:50 Speaker 02 Thank you.
39:50 Speaker 01 We should come up with our own theory of the universe.
39:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:53 Speaker 01 A fan messaged me-
39:54 Speaker 02 How much time we got left on the pod?
39:55 Speaker 01 Oh, plenty. Oh, we could do it today.
39:56 Speaker 02 We'll, we'll find it.
39:57 Speaker 01 A fan messaged me yesterday and said, "You should rewrite the Bible."
40:00 Speaker 02 Oh, that's a good idea.
40:01 Speaker 01 And I'm thinking about doing it.
40:03 Speaker 02 Can I ask? And it's fine if you don't have it yet, because sometimes you figure things out in the writing.
40:07 Speaker 01 Right.
40:07 Speaker 02 What's your take?
40:08 Speaker 01 My take on the Bible? Um, a lot of it's gonna be the same. I think they, they nailed some pretty key concepts. Uh, murdering everyone because you're mad at them type shit. Flooding the earth because people weren't being obedient. That's sick.
40:18 Speaker 02 He/him behavior.
40:19 Speaker 01 A he/him, he/him island. Creating a he/him island via the floods. Literally.
40:23 Speaker 02 Literally.
40:24 Speaker 01 I think my version of the Bible, I would just go like-
40:26 Speaker 02 There's definitely some cuts.
40:27 Speaker 01 You know what? Here's the big thing about the Bible and Christianity. I would just cut the idea that, like, the mandatory part. Like, you have to believe in my version to go to heaven. I'm like, that can't be- That's what lost me from Christianity. I go, "You're telling me there's no Jewish people or Muslim people in heaven?"
40:43 Speaker 02 Here you can't shut up about grace.
40:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:46 Speaker 02 And yet.
40:46 Speaker 01 And yet.
40:47 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
40:48 Speaker 01 A really nice Muslim guy can't go to heaven?
40:50 Speaker 02 Exactly.
40:50 Speaker 01 I don't buy it.
40:51 Speaker 02 A hot Muslim guy doesn't get into heaven?
40:53 Speaker 01 And I've seen some hot Muslim guys. And I've seen some hot guys of all faiths. And they belong in heaven.
40:58 Speaker 02 And if they're not getting to heaven, come on.
41:00 Speaker 01 You ever seen a hot person who's bad at kissing?
41:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:02 Speaker 01 I've been big, I've been big on this lately.
41:04 Speaker 02 It's a bummer.
41:05 Speaker 01 I kissed a hot, one of, one of the hottest guys I've kissed.
41:07 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
41:09 Speaker 01 And he was such a bad kisser. I thought, "How did you get here, brother?"
41:13 Speaker 02 Have you ever, well-
41:14 Speaker 01 How did I get good at this and you didn't?
41:16 Speaker 02 I feel like we've talked about this. I feel like I, you don't go to, go to the club as much as maybe I do.
41:21 Speaker 01 No.
41:21 Speaker 02 But there's moments where you're at the club, and maybe someone wants to make out and you make out, and in that moment, I go, "You're on a different drug journey than I am."
41:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about that. I wouldn't know about that.
41:31 Speaker 02 Just mean, just mean, well, actually, I find I don't use much drugs in the club, really, because I like to, a li- light touch. You know what I mean?
41:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:37 Speaker 02 And I'm there for the music ultimately. I'm, I'm in communion with the DJ. We're on our own frequency.
41:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:41 Speaker 02 But sometimes you kiss someone, you go, "You've been doing something. I know that much." This isn't the kiss of a person who's on planet Earth.
41:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:48 Speaker 02 And I have to go, "Well, good luck and God bless."
41:51 Speaker 01 What are the characteristics of that kiss? Usually? Like, I'm trying to understand-
41:55 Speaker 02 Well, you can sort of tell the drug.
41:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:56 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? It, sometimes the kiss is outside of time in a way that you go, "That's-" You know what I mean? Like, you are not- You are not on the same sort of natural rhythms of what a kiss should be.
42:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:05 Speaker 02 Parts are too slow, parts are too fast.
42:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:07 Speaker 02 You are not on time in the way that I am experiencing time.
42:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:11 Speaker 02 You know?
42:11 Speaker 01 You're not moving the lips in the right way.
42:13 Speaker 02 Sometimes it's, and you're like, that's, you're like, you want in to something.
42:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're trying to penetrate with the lip.
42:20 Speaker 02 You're trying to get in there.
42:21 Speaker 01 Crazy.
42:21 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
42:22 Speaker 01 Yeah. Hot person who's bad at kissing is just such a confounding phenomenon to me.
42:26 Speaker 02 It's not right. Do you think, is that a feedback loop? I'm hot, so I never learned to kiss?
42:31 Speaker 01 That's what people are theorizing.
42:32 Speaker 02 Where it's like, some of us who are less hot, you gotta get scrappy out in these streets.
42:35 Speaker 01 I don't know. I just know.
42:37 Speaker 02 You gotta earn your keep.
42:38 Speaker 01 Kissing to me is like, God, pay some attention, focus up, have some care.
42:41 Speaker 02 Kissing's the number one.
42:42 Speaker 01 Kissing's the number one thing. If you're a bad kisser, I don't care what else you're good at.
42:46 Speaker 02 Non-negotiable.
42:47 Speaker 01 You could be a saint, and if you're a bad kisser, I want you dead. I don't want you to ever come around me again. Kissing is everything. It's number one.
42:53 Speaker 02 Kissing rules.
42:54 Speaker 01 If we spend four hours kissing and three minutes having sex, I'm happy as a clam.
42:58 Speaker 02 Honey, four, zero minutes having sex.
43:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, fuck sex.
43:01 Speaker 02 Literally.
43:02 Speaker 01 Fuck sex, marry kissing.
43:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Marry kissing, fuck sex. What, I guess we need a third.
43:08 Speaker 01 Kill... Oh wait, hold on. I want to think of what I really want to kill.
43:16 Speaker 01 I really, I kind of want to kill frantically looking for a cum towel because you didn't, you didn't want to be thinking of it.
43:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:21 Speaker 01 Do you know when, you know when you weren't planning?
43:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:23 Speaker 01 Like someone's maybe over or something, and you're, or you're somewhere that you didn't have the cum towel. And then now, especially if you come at the same time or around the same time, and now it's just like, so someone's gonna have to like...
43:33 Speaker 02 This just happened to you. It's so vivid, this description. This happened to you.
43:38 Speaker 02 You're describing something from the last 72 hours.
43:41 Speaker 01 Seventy-two, from the last three hours.
43:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay.
43:43 Speaker 01 No, I'm kidding. But yeah, desperately looking for a cum towel.
43:45 Speaker 02 It's 11:00 in the morning. Let the viewer know.
43:48 Speaker 01 By the way.
43:49 Speaker 02 When you're playing back the last three hours.
43:50 Speaker 01 Tiptoeing and trying not to spill cum and being like, where's the towel? Oh, God, it's so...
43:56 Speaker 02 Although there's something funny about that. I mean, is that not the Marx Brothers right there?
43:59 Speaker 01 Of course.
44:00 Speaker 02 Tiptoeing, trying not to spill cum. Is that not Buster Keaton?
44:03 Speaker 01 Tell me that's not... Tell me that's not Carol Burnett Show original season.
44:07 Speaker 02 Clown is back.
44:08 Speaker 01 Clown is back.
44:09 Speaker 02 We all know this.
44:10 Speaker 01 I'm trying not to drip cum while I look for the cum towel.
44:12 Speaker 02 Sweetie, if that's not a Zach Zucker back, I don't know what is.
44:15 Speaker 01 Oh, my goodness. You put Zach Zucker in there even. Zach Zucker's getting put in the, in the, the mix of references.
44:22 Speaker 02 He deserves it. Don't you feel?
44:23 Speaker 01 He's a good guy.
44:24 Speaker 02 Sweethearts?
44:25 Speaker 01 Sweethearts and Zach Zucker's in there.
44:26 Speaker 02 Zach Zucker's a good guy.
44:27 Speaker 01 Zach Zucker dancing a lot.
44:29 Speaker 02 Dance, I know. I, I, I, I want to go to a class with him.
44:33 Speaker 01 Okay, you gotta get in there.
44:34 Speaker 02 I sometimes go to classes too, and I don't even want to say where, because I like that it's my little secret. But then, you know, the line dancing became more the thing, but lately I've been like, I want to go back to the classes.
44:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
44:42 Speaker 02 There's one class I go to that's like a house music class. And it's so fun, well, when I just like that type of music and I like to dance to it. And the style of dance is like so fun and it's a bunch of footwork. Also, I'm the worst one in the room. And I think it's so good for your character to be bad at something and keep going back. I'm always the worst one in the room and I love that feeling. But he's very good about this guy where at the end, when you're doing the thing that I guess is the norm in dance classes now, where they're like, we're gonna run the choreo you learn and everybody sets up their damn phones to film themselves. God bless rock and roll. They do it one time and then he's like, okay, we did that. Now we're getting in a circle and we're doing it at one another. Because this is ultimately house music is it's like a social dance. Like you're doing this to be in your body and be in communion with other people. So it doesn't matter if you get it right. Like do it to have joy with other people.
45:26 Speaker 02 And I'm like, I, I transcend. I'm like, I'm in heaven. This is church.
45:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:30 Speaker 02 This is what we should be doing it for.
45:31 Speaker 01 You should start a religion.
45:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:33 Speaker 01 I like you. I like your ideas.
45:35 Speaker 02 We should, would you be an acolyte?
45:37 Speaker 01 You got a good, an acolyte of your faith?
45:39 Speaker 02 Hmm.
45:39 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
45:40 Speaker 02 Thank you. You'll be going knocking at the doors?
45:42 Speaker 01 Absolutely. Hi, I'm non-binary. And I want to talk to you about Josh Sharp.
45:47 Speaker 02 Do you, do you do dance classes?
45:49 Speaker 01 No.
45:49 Speaker 02 Have you ever?
45:50 Speaker 01 A dance class? No, I've been to like a stud country and done that thing.
45:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, which, which is a class, but also sort of a party.
45:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I've not done a class.
45:59 Speaker 02 It's sort of the hybrid space.
46:00 Speaker 01 I'd be open to it. I guess it's just never, I've never done it.
46:03 Speaker 02 Let's go.
46:03 Speaker 01 Let's go to one.
46:04 Speaker 02 I'll take you to this one if you want.
46:05 Speaker 01 I'll do anything with you.
46:06 Speaker 02 It's sort of hard, but I like that. It's not supposed to be, it's supposed to be like, open level beginner, but then I get there and I'm like, well.
46:11 Speaker 01 This is hard.
46:12 Speaker 02 This is sort of hard.
46:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, that would be me, for sure. I like to think I have rhythm, maybe I would be, do okay at it.
46:16 Speaker 02 I like, I feel like you have rhythm.
46:18 Speaker 01 I'd like to think.
46:19 Speaker 02 I actually have great rhythm, but do find I'm just such like, an oaf. Like, like, I look stupid dancing.
46:26 Speaker 01 No.
46:27 Speaker 02 No, I say that with love. I like, appreciate it, I watch myself and I'm like, you have such like, sort of like goofy dad energy. Like, other people look cooler dancing. And I'm like, but I sort of love looking like a dweeb.
46:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:37 Speaker 02 Like, still doing it.
46:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, oh, that's beautiful.
46:39 Speaker 02 I think it's fun. But I'm good at picking up stuff, I don't think I look good doing it. I think I need a lot of training to like, get that out of me and be an actual like, dancer.
46:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:48 Speaker 02 Which maybe that's my journey, but, um.
46:49 Speaker 01 I have a question for you.
46:50 Speaker 02 Anything.
46:51 Speaker 01 What's so true to you?
46:53 Speaker 02 Oh, god. You, I had something earlier, and then I lost it.
46:58 Speaker 01 Ah.
46:58 Speaker 02 I feel like I should either remember it, or just come up with something on this.
47:02 Speaker 01 Don't worry, we can cut anything, we can cut this whole moment here, you can really think on it if you want.
47:07 Speaker 02 Oh, you know what came up to me earlier?
47:09 Speaker 01 Hmm.
47:09 Speaker 02 So true to me, you tell me if this is a good example for the prompt.
47:13 Speaker 01 Okay.
47:14 Speaker 02 It should be the law, that every martini comes with a sidecar. Do you know what I'm saying, Hal?
47:18 Speaker 01 Oh, my goodness.
47:19 Speaker 02 I, I assume the listener knows what a sidecar is, where it's like, they only pour in like, a sip of a martini in the martini glass, and the rest is in a little goblet on ice beside it.
47:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:27 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
47:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:28 Speaker 02 That should be the law.
47:29 Speaker 01 Here's a law, I'll add to that, I love that so true, and I'll go a step further and say, I don't really care about martinis, but, if I was gonna get one, I'd want seventeen olives.
47:36 Speaker 02 I'm down for that.
47:37 Speaker 01 Bring me seventeen olives.
47:38 Speaker 02 Here's the thing about a martini, it really goes to prove that, um, the way we feel about drinking is contextual.
47:45 Speaker 01 Hmm.
47:46 Speaker 02 If you were drinking straight gin lukewarm out of a Mountain Dew bottle, I'd be like, you have a problem.
47:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:50 Speaker 02 Make the gin very cold, in a classy glass, and we're like, nothing, nothing is more refined.
47:55 Speaker 01 Nothing to think of.
47:56 Speaker 02 It's the same, exact drink.
47:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:58 Speaker 02 Martini is just like booze, but cold.
48:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:00 Speaker 02 But we've decided it is like, the pinnacle of class.
48:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:03 Speaker 02 When it's drunkard behavior.
48:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:04 Speaker 02 So if the whole thing is like, we're, I, I'm only permitting this because it's so fucking cold.
48:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:09 Speaker 02 Then I'm like, s- sit it on ice, baby.
48:11 Speaker 01 Baby.
48:12 Speaker 02 I want every sip to be as cold as it could be.
48:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:14 Speaker 02 That's why we're here.
48:15 Speaker 01 You know what?
48:15 Speaker 02 The only thing you're offering me is a certain glass, check, and that it's cold. So put it on ice, mama.
48:21 Speaker 01 Baby.
48:21 Speaker 02 Or else I'm an alcoholic.
48:22 Speaker 01 Put it on ice, or else I have a problem.
48:24 Speaker 02 And I don't want to do that.
48:26 Speaker 01 When you were in college, you ever do eggs and kegs?
48:28 Speaker 02 What's that?
48:28 Speaker 01 Kegs and eggs.
48:29 Speaker 02 Kegs and eggs?
48:30 Speaker 01 This is when I knew a lot of my friends have drinking problems.
48:33 Speaker 02 I remember kegs.
48:34 Speaker 01 Kegs and eggs. Kegs and eggs is when you would do a breakfast keg, and then you would do like, eggs, and then you would go to like-
48:40 Speaker 02 No, we didn't do that.
48:40 Speaker 01 They would drink, they would drink at six, seven in the morning to go to a football game, and I'm like, legitimately, y'all are ill. I'm like, I can't, this is not, this is insane to me.
48:49 Speaker 02 Where'd you go to school again?
48:49 Speaker 01 Missouri State.
48:50 Speaker 02 Sure.
48:50 Speaker 01 Go Bears. Shout out Bears, go Bears, love Missouri State.
48:53 Speaker 02 And shout out Tar Heels, UNC Chapel Hill.
48:55 Speaker 01 Shout out, shout out Tar Heels, UNC Chapel Hill.
48:59 Speaker 02 Let's go, um, public funded sports, let's go for it.
49:02 Speaker 01 Shout out Missouri State, shout out UNC, sister schools.
49:04 Speaker 02 Sister schools?
49:05 Speaker 01 Sister schools, we just decided.
49:06 Speaker 02 Founded by sisters, actually.
49:07 Speaker 01 Yes, two sisters.
49:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, two sisters.
49:09 Speaker 01 That's this episode of So True.
49:10 Speaker 02 Lesbians, two lesbian sisters.
49:11 Speaker 01 Two lesbian sisters is this episode of So True.
49:13 Speaker 02 They didn't date each other, weirdo.
49:14 Speaker 01 That'd be freaky, stop.
49:16 Speaker 02 That's not what they did.
49:16 Speaker 01 You think they stole glances and eventually kissed?
49:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:19 Speaker 01 Stop.
49:19 Speaker 02 No.
49:19 Speaker 01 That's weird.
49:20 Speaker 02 That's gross.
49:21 Speaker 01 Are you in Bitcoin at all?
49:22 Speaker 02 No.
49:23 Speaker 01 I have, well, no, but I have something.
49:25 Speaker 02 You're giving me Bitcoin?
49:27 Speaker 01 No.
49:27 Speaker 02 Oh my god, Caleb's giving me Bitcoin.
49:30 Speaker 01 November 19th.
49:31 Speaker 02 Hup, two a coin?
49:31 Speaker 01 November 19th, 2013, you posted on Facebook, "I can't answer the question, what is a Bitcoin? But I do know I bought 25 bucks worth of it in June, and now it's worth $200, so that's something."
49:42 Speaker 02 That's because of my friend Cece.
49:44 Speaker 01 Now, what happened?
49:44 Speaker 02 I have one friend who, I ended up selling it soon after, I think it would be so much money, because at the time, I was like, I don't buy, I don't buy this.
49:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
49:51 Speaker 02 But I have a friend who's really into Bitcoin, and twice, he's had me buy stuff. That one turned into like, $200, and soon after, I sold it. And then, a little while ago, he had to sell one that like, tanked.
50:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:02 Speaker 02 Or buy one that tanked, but that's like, what he does.
50:04 Speaker 01 And you were in it for a second.
50:06 Speaker 02 But not, I bought it, that, probably posted that, because I remember, forgot about it for years, and at one point, was reminded I had it, and had to like, figure out how to get it in my wallet, was like, I'm gonna sell this, because like, I'm never checking on this.
50:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:16 Speaker 02 So I did, I have twice in my life bought a cryptocurrency.
50:19 Speaker 01 Chance loves to look through people's Facebook posts.
50:22 Speaker 02 Thanks to my friend.
50:22 Speaker 01 Cece, shout out Cece.
50:23 Speaker 02 Shout out Cece.
50:24 Speaker 01 On March 15th, 2010, you posted-
50:26 Speaker 02 This is so wild, because I forgot I had a Facebook, you know what I mean, like, I'm so out of that space.
50:30 Speaker 01 Anyone wanna get-
50:30 Speaker 02 I didn't know it was still live.
50:31 Speaker 01 March 15th, 2010, Josh Sharp, "Anyone wanna get Pearl Jam tickets?"
50:35 Speaker 02 Damn, and I, and no one did, I've never seen Pearl Jam. No one did. What year was that?
50:41 Speaker 01 2010.
50:42 Speaker 02 To this day, I've been like, damn, I wish I saw Pearl Jam. Every time they go on tour, I'm like, who would want to see Pearl Jam with me? And the answer is always nobody.
50:49 Speaker 01 I would go to Pearl Jam with you. My goodness.
50:52 Speaker 02 Put it right there. I love Pearl Jam.
50:53 Speaker 01 Let's go to Pearl Jam. I would go to Pearl Jam with you.
50:57 Speaker 02 This is why I posted this in 2010.
50:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:59 Speaker 02 So that 15 years later, you would bring it up on a HeadGum podcast, a phrase I never would have known in 2010.
51:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:07 Speaker 02 And then we could go see Pearl Jam.
51:08 Speaker 01 Yes.
51:09 Speaker 02 I think Pearl Jam rules.
51:10 Speaker 01 Me and, uh, do you know Jack Martin?
51:12 Speaker 02 No.
51:13 Speaker 01 Friend of mine, been on the show, great guest. We're going to see Creed and who else is on that lineup?
51:20 Speaker 02 Creed was huge for me.
51:21 Speaker 01 Creed and I think it's Daughtry and it's, I can't wait.
51:26 Speaker 02 Creed was huge for me, a person whose first concert was Newsboys. You know what I mean? Cause that was secular music. You know, you know, you'd go to youth group.
51:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:33 Speaker 02 And you would do the like, let's find the Christian themes in a Dave Matthews Band song.
51:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:36 Speaker 02 Like we were doing that down.
51:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:38 Speaker 02 Creed.
51:38 Speaker 01 Well, garbage in, garbage out.
51:40 Speaker 02 Easiest assignment you had, cause Creed was putting, making the subtext text. He was literally like, yeah, this is secular music, but it's about. Jesus, baby, Jesus. Wow, you're seeing Creed.
51:50 Speaker 01 Come on now. I love Creed. Oh my God, Creed, Summer of 99, 2025 American Tour, Three Doors Down and Daughtry.
51:58 Speaker 02 Vivid memory of hearing Three Doors Down at the county fair on that one where you're the spinning one where you were up it. And it would like go sideways and because of the centrifugal force, you could like, you know, slide. You know what I'm talking about?
52:09 Speaker 01 Yes, yeah.
52:10 Speaker 02 That one where you sort of felt like you were outside of gravity. Vivid memory of them playing Three Doors Down and me doing that fifth grade.
52:16 Speaker 01 Fucking awesome.
52:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:17 Speaker 01 I can't wait to go to this concert. I will be there. I don't know what, I don't know what night. Creed, Creed, Three Doors Down and Daughtry, if any of you were listening, I'd love to be on the list. I'd love to come backstage.
52:27 Speaker 02 Pearl Jam as well.
52:28 Speaker 01 Pearl Jam.
52:29 Speaker 02 You could get two noted comedians on the list.
52:32 Speaker 01 You can get two gay comedians.
52:33 Speaker 02 I'll even throw in a post.
52:34 Speaker 01 I'll throw in a post.
52:35 Speaker 02 I'll throw in a social media post.
52:36 Speaker 01 Story and grid.
52:37 Speaker 02 Story and grid.
52:37 Speaker 01 And I'm guessing for all four of these bands, getting two noted gay guys is probably a bit of a struggle, so.
52:44 Speaker 02 It's fun to go to a concert like that. And open your grinder and like, sand comes out. Where you were like, I'm the only gay guy within an eight mile radius.
52:52 Speaker 01 As opposed to like, when I went to Sweat and it was like,
52:54 Speaker 02 Oh, a hundred.
52:54 Speaker 01 Every profile was one foot away.
52:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:57 Speaker 01 Like, the Sweat tour was grinders. I can't imagine how many people got laid at Sweat tour.
53:01 Speaker 02 In the bathroom.
53:02 Speaker 01 In the bathroom.
53:03 Speaker 02 Wow. I can't believe no one went to Pearl Jam with me in 2010.
53:07 Speaker 01 I'm going with you in 2025. You had just moved to New York, from North Carolina.
53:11 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
53:12 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
53:12 Speaker 02 What month of 2010, did it say?
53:15 Speaker 01 That would've gone ahead in mid-March.
53:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay, I was about six months in.
53:18 Speaker 01 That's crazy.
53:19 Speaker 02 Well, we gotta see Pearl Jam. I love this. Were there any more good Facebook finds, or that was it?
53:23 Speaker 01 Those are the only ones I had.
53:24 Speaker 02 Chance, really good.
53:26 Speaker 01 Really good stuff, Chance. I have a segment for you.
53:28 Speaker 02 Do you find, you probably find some really damning stuff on people. And that you don't bring to the pod, I assume because you have conscience. Only fun. Yeah, but there's probably some gnarly stuff. There's some pretty bad comments, most of the comments. Go back, I invite everybody to comment. That's a thing you can say, just like, show me my comments. Like, there's a filter. Or you have to like, how do you find them? Oh my god.
53:51 Speaker 01 Crazy.
53:52 Speaker 02 Crazy.
53:52 Speaker 01 I have a segment for you.
53:53 Speaker 02 Let's do it.
53:54 Speaker 01 It's time for the Twisted True or False segment, brought to you by Twisted Tea. Now Josh, Twisted Tea, these folks reached out to me and said, can we sponsor the True or False segment? And I said, yeah. Yeah, you sure can.
54:04 Speaker 02 And they, specifically for me.
54:06 Speaker 01 They wanted to do it with you. They said, make it a gay guy.
54:08 Speaker 02 Make it a gay guy.
54:09 Speaker 01 And, because they think you're gonna win. And what's gonna happen here is, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.
54:12 Speaker 02 Uh-huh.
54:13 Speaker 01 Okay? Then you're gonna tell me if you think they're true or false, alright?
54:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
54:17 Speaker 01 And then if you get 10 or more-
54:18 Speaker 02 Thank you for allowing me just to say that.
54:19 Speaker 01 By the way.
54:20 Speaker 02 I was worried it would be like, say, Twisted True, or Tea False, or something.
54:23 Speaker 01 You don't need to do any of that.
54:24 Speaker 02 I just was worried.
54:25 Speaker 01 You don't need to do any of that.
54:26 Speaker 02 I was worried I might be like, that's Twi- if it's true, say, that's Twisted.
54:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
54:30 Speaker 02 And if it's, no, if it's true, go, that's Tea.
54:32 Speaker 01 That's Tea.
54:33 Speaker 02 If it's false, go, sounds twisted.
54:35 Speaker 01 Yeah. You do whatever you wanna do.
54:37 Speaker 02 Thank you for not making me do that.
54:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, well hey, if you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.
54:42 Speaker 02 Okay, baby.
54:43 Speaker 01 So that's a game you can get behind.
54:44 Speaker 02 And I'm gonna have to fill out a W-9 for Twisted Tea?
54:47 Speaker 01 Yes, you are. What's more twisted than that? No, I'm gonna do it under the table. We don't believe in taxes around here.
54:51 Speaker 02 You heard it. You heard it here first.
54:53 Speaker 01 The lifespan of a taste bud is 10 years.
54:55 Speaker 02 Uh, I actually think it's less than that, so I'm gonna go false.
55:00 Speaker 01 False, it's 10 days.
55:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:02 Speaker 01 The average-
55:03 Speaker 02 Wow, not only was I right, I was right.
55:04 Speaker 01 You were big right. The average human blinks-
55:07 Speaker 02 I want to unpack each one, there's so much to say. We're gonna have to circle back, I know it goes quick.
55:11 Speaker 01 Josh, you gotta circle back.
55:12 Speaker 02 I know, we'll circle back.
55:13 Speaker 01 Hold your favorite ones in your head. The average human blinks over four million times a year.
55:19 Speaker 02 True.
55:19 Speaker 01 It's true. Lizards communicate by doing pushups.
55:24 Speaker 02 True.
55:25 Speaker 01 It's true. Morganton, North Carolina, has a population of seventeen thousand four hundred seventy-four people.
55:32 Speaker 02 That sounds true.
55:33 Speaker 01 That's true. Diet Coke is older than regular Coke.
55:38 Speaker 02 False.
55:39 Speaker 01 It's false. The pupil in a goat's eyes are rectangular.
55:44 Speaker 02 False.
55:45 Speaker 01 That's true.
55:45 Speaker 02 Ow, I was on a streak though.
55:47 Speaker 01 You were on a big streak. There are more people than chickens in the world.
55:52 Speaker 02 False.
55:53 Speaker 01 It's false. North Carolina's state motto is "to be rather than to seem."
55:57 Speaker 02 True.
55:58 Speaker 01 It's true. Patrick Mahomes attended Duke University.
56:01 Speaker 02 True.
56:01 Speaker 01 False, Texas Tech.
56:03 Speaker 02 Who is that?
56:03 Speaker 01 Patrick Mahomes?
56:04 Speaker 02 Yeah. He's a sports guy?
56:06 Speaker 01 Oh yeah, that'd hurt, he's the quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs.
56:09 Speaker 02 Understood.
56:09 Speaker 01 Very important in my life.
56:10 Speaker 02 Understood.
56:11 Speaker 01 Very important in my life.
56:12 Speaker 02 Thank you for the call in, brother.
56:14 Speaker 01 I'm calling you in, brother. I'm calling you in and we will talk off mic about-
56:18 Speaker 02 Sugar, I love this guy, Patrick, I love having him in my life and I love knowing he did not go to Duke. My rival.
56:24 Speaker 01 He did not go to Duke, he went Texas Tech. Eddie Vedder is the lead vocalist for Van Halen.
56:28 Speaker 02 True, we know this.
56:29 Speaker 01 False, it's Pearl Jam.
56:30 Speaker 02 Wait, oh you said Vedder! I literally didn't let you get to the end! Oh, that's a-
56:36 Speaker 01 Got your ass.
56:37 Speaker 02 There it goes.
56:38 Speaker 01 Got your ass.
56:38 Speaker 02 There goes my sponsorship, damn. Listen, Josh, listen. Listen. Listen, Josh.
56:45 Speaker 01 One-fourth of the bones in your body are in your feet.
56:48 Speaker 02 True, that feels true.
56:49 Speaker 01 That's true. Wicked opened on Broadway in 2003.
56:53 Speaker 02 Hmm, true?
56:54 Speaker 01 True. A pelican can hold more food in its beak than its belly.
56:58 Speaker 02 True.
56:59 Speaker 01 True. Fire was discovered in seventeen forty-five.
57:03 Speaker 02 False.
57:04 Speaker 01 False, it was two million years ago.
57:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:05 Speaker 01 Elaine Stritch was a medic in the US Navy.
57:08 Speaker 02 Oh my god, I hope that's true. I bet it's false, but I hope it's true. True.
57:15 Speaker 01 False.
57:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, I mean, wouldn't that be incredible?
57:18 Speaker 01 Amazing.
57:19 Speaker 02 Wouldn't that be incredible?
57:20 Speaker 01 How'd Josh do?
57:20 Speaker 03 Eleven.
57:21 Speaker 01 Eleven! You did it!
57:24 Speaker 02 I get fifty bucks for Twisted Tea!
57:26 Speaker 01 You get fifty bucks?
57:26 Speaker 02 Thanks to Elaine Stretch.
57:27 Speaker 01 Hey, and guess what?
57:28 Speaker 02 What?
57:28 Speaker 01 Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today, and Josh, keep it twisted. Oh, brother.
57:35 Speaker 02 That's on tea.
57:36 Speaker 01 That's on tea. That's twisted. Isn't that twisted? What's your favorite song in the whole world?
57:41 Speaker 02 In the whole world?
57:42 Speaker 01 Number one ever.
57:43 Speaker 02 No.
57:44 Speaker 01 And don't you dare lie to me.
57:45 Speaker 02 I don't know what number one is. You know what I think more than having a number one? There's like a class of, there's like an echelon.
57:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:52 Speaker 02 And there are songs that, to me, feel like...
57:54 Speaker 01 Do you know what I think more than an echelon?
57:56 Speaker 02 What?
57:56 Speaker 01 A number one. What is your number one song of all time?
58:00 Speaker 02 What there is, is there's a level of songwriting where I go, "Damn, if I wrote that song, that one song, every day I would wake up and go, 'Life well lived.'"
58:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:09 Speaker 02 "I don't need to do anything else."
58:11 Speaker 01 I did the life.
58:11 Speaker 02 Yesterday, um, Tears for Fears, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" came on. I said, "That's one of those songs." If I wrote that forty years ago, I would go, "We're good. We're tired."
58:21 Speaker 01 We did it.
58:23 Speaker 02 But of course, my number one favorite song is The Star Spangled Banner, because I love my country.
58:27 Speaker 01 Thank you. You've always been a countryman.
58:30 Speaker 02 I've been a countryman and a country boy.
58:32 Speaker 01 A country boy.
58:32 Speaker 02 Do you have a number one favorite song?
58:34 Speaker 01 Hmmmm.
58:36 Speaker 02 I really don't. That's like so impossible.
58:38 Speaker 01 You know what? I will say, all things considered,
58:43 Speaker 01 I'll just say "Godspeed" by Frank Ocean.
58:45 Speaker 02 Sure.
58:46 Speaker 01 It's a song that came at such an important time in my life when I was massively depressed. And I, I think it's so beautiful, and it has, it has continued to mean so much to me, that I'm like, "Why not? Why not be my number one favorite song?"
58:58 Speaker 02 And that's one of those, you love when a song in the modern era, you go, "This is in the songbook. This is in the great American songbook."
59:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:04 Speaker 02 Hundred years from now, you know, James Blake's already covering it, like, because we understand it is, it is text.
59:09 Speaker 01 You look down on where you came from sometimes?
59:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:12 Speaker 01 Beautiful.
59:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:13 Speaker 01 Wishing you Godspeed. Come on. I love it. You know what I really, I've been into lately, though? This artist called Billie Eilish has a cover of "Simply the Best." Do you know this?
59:23 Speaker 02 No.
59:23 Speaker 01 "Simply the Best."
59:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, I know that song, but I don't know this cover.
59:26 Speaker 01 Oh, she murders it.
59:28 Speaker 02 She murders it.
59:28 Speaker 01 I, I think that Billie Eilish uses she, but if they use something else, I'm so sorry to Billie Eilish. But I love that cover. I've been listening to it on repeat.
59:35 Speaker 02 I'm gonna be listening to that.
59:36 Speaker 01 And also on repeat, I've been listening to "Jealous Guy" by Donny Hathaway.
59:40 Speaker 02 Oh.
59:41 Speaker 01 Wow.
59:42 Speaker 02 Yes, you've listened to that live record?
59:43 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
59:44 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
59:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
59:46 Speaker 02 That's one of the best produced live records, cuz you put headphones on, mama, listen to Donny Hathaway live. I think it's called Live, right?
59:53 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
59:53 Speaker 02 There's the one, I forget what club it's from, it's from some club downtown that doesn't exist anymore that was like, had one of those great names, like The Boyland Point or something, you know?
1:00:00 Speaker 01 Right.
1:00:00 Speaker 02 But it, um, you are in the room. I've like never heard a live album that most, you hear the room, you feel like you are in the room.
1:00:08 Speaker 01 It's crazy good, it's timeless. You, I was playing it for someone the other night at my house and I was like, can you believe?
1:00:14 Speaker 02 That live record I think is
1:00:17 Speaker 02 one of the, that could be like number one live album.
1:00:19 Speaker 01 Number one live album for you.
1:00:20 Speaker 02 That stopped making sense, there's a couple that it's like, again, upper echelon, but um, that, Donny Hathaway rules.
1:00:25 Speaker 01 Number one live record for me.
1:00:27 Speaker 02 Girls don't put enough respect on Donny Hathaway.
1:00:28 Speaker 01 You listening to Lauryn Hill's MTV Unplugged?
1:00:29 Speaker 02 Absolutely, brother.
1:00:30 Speaker 01 That's probably my number one live recording.
1:00:32 Speaker 02 Lauryn, I'm sorry, I know you don't, you don't make music for white people, you put it on record.
1:00:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:37 Speaker 02 I'm not listening.
1:00:38 Speaker 01 I'm listening.
1:00:39 Speaker 02 To your creed, I am listening to your music.
1:00:40 Speaker 01 I'm listening to your music.
1:00:41 Speaker 02 I'm defying your intentions and I'm listening to it.
1:00:44 Speaker 01 I'm not gonna get the tattoo, I'm not gonna do anything crazy, but I'm listening.
1:00:49 Speaker 02 The summer doo-wop that thing came on, I remember being at the pool.
1:00:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:52 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
1:00:53 Speaker 01 You were at the pool.
1:00:53 Speaker 02 That was one of those songs.
1:00:54 Speaker 01 You were at the pool that summer.
1:00:55 Speaker 02 I was at the pool.
1:00:56 Speaker 01 I remember that about you.
1:00:57 Speaker 02 And that was one of the, there, there are songs like, um, that I, that I associate with like, you know, a classic song of the summer, but when I was like, if it came out like that era of middle school, they are, I remember being like going off the high dive here and like doo-wop that thing, you know?
1:01:11 Speaker 01 Ah, that's beautiful.
1:01:13 Speaker 02 Like, um, Soak Up the Sun, oh my god.
1:01:14 Speaker 01 Sheryl Crow, Missouri Girl.
1:01:15 Speaker 02 Exact, oh yeah.
1:01:17 Speaker 01 Did you know that?
1:01:17 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
1:01:18 Speaker 01 Missouri Girl she is.
1:01:19 Speaker 02 Apparently she's lovely.
1:01:20 Speaker 01 Sheryl Crow?
1:01:20 Speaker 02 I, I know, I know people who've like worked with her and opened for her and stuff and are like, she rules. And you love that.
1:01:26 Speaker 01 I have met her and she's lovely.
1:01:27 Speaker 02 Cuz that's a person that could, if someone was like, she's awful, I'd be like, eh, sure, I guess I hear that, but like, she's, she's wonderful, apparently.
1:01:33 Speaker 01 She's, she, I, her music, she wouldn't know, she wouldn't remember me from Adam, I'm certain of it, but I love her music.
1:01:39 Speaker 02 Hmm.
1:01:39 Speaker 01 And a lovely person.
1:01:40 Speaker 02 Adam of And Eve fame?
1:01:42 Speaker 01 Would, do you know that phrase, that saying? Well, doesn't know me from Adam.
1:01:45 Speaker 02 But I, but I, is that the Adam we're referring to when we do that phrase?
1:01:48 Speaker 01 Of course, yeah.
1:01:49 Speaker 02 Yeah?
1:01:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:50 Speaker 02 Prototypical he/him, number one he/him.
1:01:52 Speaker 01 I used to think, well, he's, he's the blueprint.
1:01:54 Speaker 02 He's the blueprint for he/him.
1:01:55 Speaker 01 Adam from the Bible is the blueprint.
1:01:56 Speaker 02 That's true.
1:01:57 Speaker 01 I'm rewriting that, though.
1:01:58 Speaker 02 I'm wishing you Godspeed, Adam.
1:02:00 Speaker 01 I'm gonna rewrite the Christian Bible.
1:02:02 Speaker 02 Are you keeping it that it starts with a he/him in your version?
1:02:04 Speaker 01 Oh, he/hims will be centered, just because that's me.
1:02:07 Speaker 02 But is that the first still? Are we still pulling a rib out of a he/him?
1:02:11 Speaker 01 Well, you look at how bad the world is and you think a he/him had to originate, don't you?
1:02:15 Speaker 02 Well, here's a question, because rib made she/her. In your bible, what bone has given us non-binary people?
1:02:21 Speaker 01 Um.
1:02:23 Speaker 02 Everyone knows exactly what I'm saying.
1:02:24 Speaker 01 Rib makes she/her, what bone makes a non-binary from the he/him body?
1:02:29 Speaker 02 The big, the big G is just pulled the rib out of Adam. He got this great idea for she/her's, he says, I know what I need a rib. Then he goes, wait, there's gotta be something else, too.
1:02:37 Speaker 01 What's the most?
1:02:38 Speaker 02 Hmm, well, of course, because we all know how things go. I gotta pull another bone out of this he/him to make this non-binary person my best idea yet. My greatest invention of all time.
1:02:48 Speaker 01 Right. Femur.
1:02:50 Speaker 02 Femur.
1:02:51 Speaker 01 Femur.
1:02:51 Speaker 02 Femur.
1:02:52 Speaker 01 I'm going femur.
1:02:53 Speaker 02 Sure.
1:02:53 Speaker 01 I'm going femur for sure.
1:02:55 Speaker 02 I'm going one of the, um, 25% of our bones that are in the feet.
1:02:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:59 Speaker 02 Just pick one at will.
1:03:01 Speaker 01 Just grab a foot bone and make a non-binary.
1:03:03 Speaker 02 Let me tell you this, there's a lot to choose from, we know that much.
1:03:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:06 Speaker 02 One-fourth of your bones are in your, those little feet.
1:03:09 Speaker 01 Grab a foot bone and...
1:03:10 Speaker 02 Makes sense, they're what keeps us up.
1:03:12 Speaker 01 Make a neurodivergent person.
1:03:13 Speaker 02 You think that comes easy to keep your ass up all the time?
1:03:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:17 Speaker 02 It takes bones to do that.
1:03:19 Speaker 01 It takes bones, mama.
1:03:22 Speaker 01 It takes bones, sugar.
1:03:23 Speaker 02 It takes bones, sugar.
1:03:24 Speaker 01 You think you're just standing up without bones?
1:03:26 Speaker 02 That's on T.
1:03:26 Speaker 01 Think again, sugar.
1:03:27 Speaker 02 If you didn't have those bones, you'd be getting all kinds of twisted.
1:03:30 Speaker 01 Oh, don't get twisted, you need your foot bones. Foot bones.
1:03:34 Speaker 02 The foot bone's connected to the more foot bones.
1:03:37 Speaker 01 The drinking bones connected to the party bone.
1:03:40 Speaker 02 That's a country song right there.
1:03:41 Speaker 01 The pa- you know this one?
1:03:42 Speaker 02 Wait.
1:03:43 Speaker 01 Connected to the staying out all night long.
1:03:45 Speaker 02 There's gotta be a line to that one.
1:03:46 Speaker 01 She won't think it's funny and I'll wind up all alone. The lonely bone's connected to the drinking bone.
1:03:53 Speaker 02 Yep, there's gotta be a line to answer that one.
1:03:55 Speaker 01 Great song, does there not already?
1:03:56 Speaker 02 I, I, not that I've learned, but you know, I'm still...
1:03:59 Speaker 01 You know almost 100.
1:04:00 Speaker 02 I know, but it's, I, it must exist, but it hasn't been taught to me yet.
1:04:03 Speaker 01 We need to go, you know what you and I should do?
1:04:05 Speaker 02 Anything.
1:04:05 Speaker 01 We should do a honky-tonk road trip. Where we just go and hit like every big honky tonk we can find.
1:04:12 Speaker 02 Yes, absolutely.
1:04:13 Speaker 01 One a night, every night.
1:04:14 Speaker 02 Only one? Don't limit us.
1:04:16 Speaker 01 One a night? Oh, I want to experience them.
1:04:18 Speaker 02 Let's do multiple a night.
1:04:19 Speaker 01 You think?
1:04:19 Speaker 02 My nights are sounding longer than yours, baby.
1:04:21 Speaker 01 Your nights are longer than mine. I can tell, I can tell you that.
1:04:23 Speaker 02 No, one a night's good. We want to live in the space. And you want to see it journey beginning to end.
1:04:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04:28 Speaker 02 You know?
1:04:29 Speaker 01 I want to see the people who show up and the people who don't leave.
1:04:32 Speaker 02 Say that. Now that's a lyric.
1:04:33 Speaker 01 I want to see that all.
1:04:35 Speaker 02 I want to see the people who show up and the people who don't leave.
1:04:37 Speaker 01 That's what I want to see.
1:04:38 Speaker 02 That's beautiful.
1:04:38 Speaker 01 That's just what I like.
1:04:39 Speaker 02 That's just what I like. That's that shit I do like.
1:04:42 Speaker 01 That's that shit I do like, mama.
1:04:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, let's go on a honky-tonk road trip.
1:04:48 Speaker 01 Wouldn't it be fun? Or a travel show?
1:04:49 Speaker 02 Are you kidding?
1:04:50 Speaker 01 You and I should have a travel show.
1:04:52 Speaker 02 Pearl Jam, if you're listening.
1:04:53 Speaker 01 Pearl Jam, or Creed, or Three Doors Down, or Daughtry.
1:04:56 Speaker 02 Give us a travel show.
1:04:57 Speaker 01 Give us a travel show. We'll talk about your music and then we'll eat some stuff.
1:05:01 Speaker 02 Pearl Jam, I love everything you've done in Van Halen. And I think it would be great if you gave us a travel show.
1:05:07 Speaker 01 I'm talking to Pearl Jam of Van Halen fame. I love what you've done.
1:05:11 Speaker 02 Eddie Vedder, might as well jump, baby. Let's go.
1:05:14 Speaker 01 Might as well jump into our travel show that we're hosting. Thank you. I went to two great restaurants this week.
1:05:19 Speaker 02 Say more.
1:05:20 Speaker 01 Gertrude's, you been?
1:05:21 Speaker 02 No, is this the neighborhood? Oh, you want the public to know what neighborhood you live in?
1:05:25 Speaker 01 Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep.
1:05:25 Speaker 02 Bleep that, bleep that.
1:05:26 Speaker 01 Great Latkes.
1:05:28 Speaker 02 Great Latkes.
1:05:29 Speaker 01 At Gertrude's and an incredible raw bar.
1:05:31 Speaker 02 What neighborhood?
1:05:32 Speaker 01 Hmm, I want to say it was like further south, maybe it was closer to Park Slope, but I don't think it was Park Slope.
1:05:38 Speaker 02 There's Gertie's in Williamsburg that has great Latkes, too.
1:05:40 Speaker 01 Gertie's, this is their, this is their sister restaurant.
1:05:42 Speaker 02 There we go. I was about to say, because they have, they have great Latkes at Gertie's.
1:05:45 Speaker 01 Gertrude, amazing. And then Strange Delight.
1:05:49 Speaker 02 Strange Delight?
1:05:50 Speaker 01 New restaurant.
1:05:51 Speaker 02 It seems full of whimsy, this restaurant.
1:05:53 Speaker 01 In Brooklyn, New Orleans food.
1:05:55 Speaker 02 Oh, come on now.
1:05:56 Speaker 01 I had hush puppies. I had crab dip with house made saltines.
1:05:59 Speaker 02 Oh, come on now.
1:05:59 Speaker 01 I had a fried shrimp sandwich.
1:06:01 Speaker 02 You're a guy who loves New Orleans, right? Like I am.
1:06:03 Speaker 01 I haven't even been to the city of New Orleans.
1:06:05 Speaker 02 You're joking? It's one of the only cities we have.
1:06:07 Speaker 01 I know.
1:06:08 Speaker 02 I'm not joking. I think that's a-
1:06:09 Speaker 01 I know.
1:06:10 Speaker 02 So true. Actually, I take it back. My so true is New Orleans is one of the only cities we have in this country.
1:06:16 Speaker 01 Name the others. Name the others.
1:06:17 Speaker 02 I can't. It's one of the only.
1:06:18 Speaker 01 Oh, my goodness.
1:06:19 Speaker 02 You want me to finally give a number one and not an echelon? Number one city, New Orleans, I think.
1:06:22 Speaker 01 Really?
1:06:23 Speaker 02 Well, actually, what I think is true is that there's a lot of great cities in this country, but a lot of them are sort of different versions of the same thing.
1:06:29 Speaker 01 Hmm.
1:06:30 Speaker 02 You know what I mean? Whereas- New Orleans is only New Orleans.
1:06:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:34 Speaker 02 You know what I mean?
1:06:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:35 Speaker 02 Someone takes you to the cool neighborhood in, insert fun city here, and you're like, yeah, I've, I've, I understand what natural wine tastes like. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's got its own energy, but it's sort of like, this is versions of the cool parts of the city where we live.
1:06:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:49 Speaker 02 It's beautiful and unique in their ways, but it's like, they're, they're drawing from a blueprint.
1:06:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:53 Speaker 02 New Orleans, you're like, damn, ain't nobody doing New Orleans but New Orleans.
1:06:56 Speaker 01 It's French.
1:06:57 Speaker 02 It's French, it's southern, it's just Creole, it's like, so only it, in a way that no other city is to me.
1:07:04 Speaker 01 I've been dying to go.
1:07:05 Speaker 02 You have to go.
1:07:05 Speaker 01 I want to go.
1:07:06 Speaker 02 You would love it.
1:07:07 Speaker 01 I really want to go.
1:07:08 Speaker 02 They do love to drink there.
1:07:09 Speaker 01 I'm certain, I know, and that's, that's part of the issue for me. New Orleans and Vegas.
1:07:12 Speaker 02 But they love to eat, too.
1:07:13 Speaker 01 That's why I want to go.
1:07:14 Speaker 02 Right there.
1:07:15 Speaker 01 I want to go to eat, and I want to go, my friend does burlesque there, I want to go see her shows.
1:07:19 Speaker 02 Oh, and great queer scene there. Like, every aspect, when you're going to, like, the great restaurant, it's just like, feels so New Orleans, you're like, this is like, nothing else. And same with, like, burlesque queers, to be like, this queer bar doesn't feel like any other one I've been into in United States of America.
1:07:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:07:31 Speaker 02 Star Spangled Banner, number one song.
1:07:32 Speaker 01 I want to do a voicemail with you. Get those headphones on.
1:07:35 Speaker 02 Oh.
1:07:36 Speaker 01 Let's do a listener voicemail and see what they've got for us. Maybe something good, maybe something bad.
1:07:39 Speaker 02 I bet they got something nice.
1:07:40 Speaker 01 Wait, these have a side, right? I can't tell. Do these have a side? Oh, I found it.
1:07:44 Speaker 02 I have to be on the right side?
1:07:46 Speaker 01 Well, I like it. I like to know, but I guess it doesn't really matter.
1:07:49 Speaker 02 Because it's mixed. This is mixed. Um.
1:07:52 Speaker 01 It's mixed.
1:07:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:07:53 Speaker 01 This voicemail is mixed.
1:07:54 Speaker 02 This is, this is, um, not mono.
1:07:56 Speaker 01 No. No mama.
1:07:57 Speaker 04 Hey, I have a quick question. I need to know why fast food breakfast is so delicious. Why is the cheese so good? Is it because it's plastic? Is it because it's too melty? Who knows? Thank you. Wow.
1:08:17 Speaker 02 I can't remember the last time I had a fast food breakfast.
1:08:19 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:08:20 Speaker 02 So I'm about to be out of my league, and yet, I have thoughts. Isn't the whole point of American cheese that it was sort of like engineered to melt right?
1:08:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:08:28 Speaker 02 Isn't that like what they did? Like, I'm not joking, like, that is what it is. So I feel like that's the answer, right?
1:08:33 Speaker 01 That's part of it, and also, it's the grease and the carbs.
1:08:36 Speaker 02 And the grease and the carbs.
1:08:37 Speaker 01 It's grease and carbs, is what it is. And I'll tell you, McDonald's breakfast, you, the most- The most stuck up person in the world couldn't tell me shit about a hash brown at McDonald's. It is just fucking good.
1:08:48 Speaker 02 It's, everything has its context.
1:08:49 Speaker 01 A sausage McGriddle.
1:08:50 Speaker 02 There's a context for that.
1:08:51 Speaker 01 With a slice of cheese is just sometimes correct. You don't always want it.
1:08:55 Speaker 02 No.
1:08:55 Speaker 01 Sometimes you want a beautifully, uh, fresh pastry with the hand cut fruit and a cup of orange juice that was immediately squeezed out of it. Sometimes you want that breakfast, but sometimes you want a McGriddle with cheese and a hash brown.
1:09:06 Speaker 02 But don't you feel like you're eating it in your car always?
1:09:08 Speaker 01 No.
1:09:09 Speaker 02 I'm just feeling like when I'm having, when I'm wanting that, I'm wanting a diner. I'm wanting to sit down. I'm wanting that ambiance in addition to that grease and carb.
1:09:15 Speaker 01 Hmm.
1:09:16 Speaker 02 But you're, you're having it in the McDonald's.
1:09:17 Speaker 01 I'm having it in the McDonald's. No, no, no, never in the McDonald's.
1:09:20 Speaker 02 That's what I mean.
1:09:21 Speaker 01 Usually having it in my home.
1:09:22 Speaker 02 You're taking, yeah, in the city of New York, you're doing that.
1:09:25 Speaker 01 I haven't had McDonald's in the city of New York.
1:09:27 Speaker 02 But when you're in the heartland.
1:09:29 Speaker 01 But if I'm in the heartland or LA, I've had McDonald's. Many, many times I've stayed out until two, three, four in the morning with my friends in LA.
1:09:36 Speaker 02 First of all, cool guy.
1:09:37 Speaker 01 Cool guy. Well, that wasn't the.
1:09:39 Speaker 02 That's cool.
1:09:40 Speaker 01 Josh, that wasn't the point.
1:09:41 Speaker 02 We have to give that space.
1:09:42 Speaker 01 You know, I don't want to look cool on here.
1:09:44 Speaker 02 Already two in the morning. That's a cool guy. But then when you follow it up with comma, three, comma, four.
1:09:48 Speaker 01 But this is what you need to know is because the later you stay out, the later you have to sleep in.
1:09:49 Speaker 02 And bars close in LA at two. So what is he doing at three and four?
1:09:52 Speaker 01 Friends' house?
1:09:53 Speaker 02 You've gone to an afters, what we call an afters.
1:09:55 Speaker 01 You're sick.
1:09:56 Speaker 02 Only cool guys get invited to that.
1:09:57 Speaker 01 You're a sick individual.
1:09:58 Speaker 02 That's cool, Caleb.
1:10:00 Speaker 01 The point is, you stay out late, you have to sleep in late, and then when you wake up, you need something horrible to put in your stomach.
1:10:05 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
1:10:05 Speaker 01 And that's McDonald's. That's when you call.
1:10:08 Speaker 02 I'm there in LA, same exact circumstance, two, three, four in the morning. I've been at the afters. God, I've had the time of my life. New friends. Old, new, silver, gold. You understand?
1:10:18 Speaker 01 Uh-huh.
1:10:19 Speaker 02 I'm waking up feeling this exact type of way.
1:10:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:10:21 Speaker 02 You know what I'm doing?
1:10:22 Speaker 01 Going to all time?
1:10:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, or I'm doing, um, I'm doing breakfast tacos from, um, what's it called? Home State.
1:10:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:10:29 Speaker 02 I'm getting Home State.
1:10:30 Speaker 01 Home State, ugh.
1:10:31 Speaker 02 You're gonna, ugh, Home State and.
1:10:32 Speaker 01 I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you.
1:10:33 Speaker 02 And rah rah McDonald's.
1:10:34 Speaker 01 You want a breakfast.
1:10:35 Speaker 02 They're the same.
1:10:36 Speaker 01 You're gonna rah rah McDonald's. Let me tell you something. You want a breakfast burrito in LA?
1:10:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:10:41 Speaker 01 Cafe Los Feliz.
1:10:42 Speaker 02 Oh, I've been there once. They're good.
1:10:44 Speaker 01 Cafe Los Feliz on Hillhurst. Is it Cafe Los Feliz or Los Feliz Cafe, that one? I always forget. My guy Arson, who works behind the counter.
1:10:51 Speaker 02 What a name.
1:10:52 Speaker 01 Arson like sets fires. It's Cafe Los Feliz, because there's two of them.
1:10:56 Speaker 02 I hope he makes them spicy with a name like Arson.
1:10:59 Speaker 01 Sojuk. So they have a sojuk one that's spicy.
1:11:01 Speaker 02 Wait, what's sojuk?
1:11:01 Speaker 01 I don't know what they name it, but they have a spicy one.
1:11:05 Speaker 02 Should I know what that is?
1:11:05 Speaker 01 I think that's just the name of their spicy. I don't think it's a thing.
1:11:08 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:11:08 Speaker 01 But my trick there is you don't get the spicy one. You actually get the regular one and then you get a bunch of their spicy chipotle sauce and fucking.
1:11:15 Speaker 02 I love that. Are you a spice queen?
1:11:17 Speaker 01 I am a spice queen.
1:11:17 Speaker 02 Me too.
1:11:18 Speaker 01 I'm a spice queen indeed.
1:11:18 Speaker 02 Make it hurt.
1:11:19 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:11:20 Speaker 02 Do you like to go like, um, like Szechuan style, like the peppercorns that numb you?
1:11:24 Speaker 01 Numb.
1:11:24 Speaker 02 That's such its own, you know, ecosystem within the spice ecosystem. I love it.
1:11:30 Speaker 01 Ever been to Alhambra?
1:11:32 Speaker 02 Wait, what is it called?
1:11:33 Speaker 01 Alhambra, neighborhood in LA.
1:11:34 Speaker 02 Oh, yes, yes, yes. I thought this was a restaurant.
1:11:36 Speaker 01 Incredible Szechuan food. Incredible. Honestly, pretty good spicy Asian food at Birds of a Feather in Williamsburg.
1:11:42 Speaker 02 Actually, yes. And, um, yes.
1:11:45 Speaker 01 Yup, and yes.
1:11:46 Speaker 02 There's another one I like too, and I'm forgetting the name. So I'm just gonna affirm Birds of a Feather.
1:11:49 Speaker 01 Birds of a Feather, pretty good spice on that stuff.
1:11:51 Speaker 02 Pretty good spice.
1:11:51 Speaker 01 They have a spicy Szechuan okra at Birds of a Feather that numbed my mouth real nice.
1:11:56 Speaker 02 I love okra.
1:11:57 Speaker 01 I do too, in every form. Bring it to me in any way. I want it.
1:12:01 Speaker 02 Pickled okra, come on.
1:12:02 Speaker 01 Fried, of course.
1:12:03 Speaker 02 Fried, of course.
1:12:04 Speaker 01 Fried, of course.
1:12:05 Speaker 02 Pickled okra is really good. Because there's so much texture, so much crunch, so much slime. It's fun.
1:12:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, I like the slime, for some reason. Doesn't sound enjoyable, does it? But it is.
1:12:14 Speaker 02 It is. In that context, it is.
1:12:15 Speaker 01 But it is. Joshua, it's been an incredible treat to have you on the show.
1:12:19 Speaker 02 It's been an honor.
1:12:20 Speaker 01 We love you here.
1:12:21 Speaker 02 Well, it's, you know, thank you for welcoming me into your home.
1:12:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:26 Speaker 02 I don't know when we're gonna start rolling. This on-air has been off the whole time. I assume that lights up when we start?
1:12:30 Speaker 01 Oh, we're not putting this out. No, this was just, I wanted to hang out with you.
1:12:33 Speaker 02 It's just sort of wild to have that there in front of me, not on.
1:12:36 Speaker 01 Yeah. We're not recording this. I can't stress this enough. We're not recording this. You'll never see this come out. I was just like, I wanna hang out with Josh. I wonder if he'd come to Midtown Manhattan.
1:12:45 Speaker 02 Hey, Chance, do me a favor. I'm trying to hang out with Josh. We gotta put on this whole stunt like we're doing.
1:12:49 Speaker 01 Book him on the show. You guys can play on your computers.
1:12:53 Speaker 02 That's what producing podcasts is, right? Playing on your computer?
1:12:56 Speaker 01 Yes, playing on your computers. I'll pretend to do a podcast with him. We'll just spend some time together.
1:12:59 Speaker 02 No, it was a blessing. I feel blessed, sugar. Thank you for having me.
1:13:02 Speaker 01 You are blessed, sugar, and you come back anytime you want.
1:13:03 Speaker 02 I'm gonna take you up on that.
1:13:04 Speaker 01 Okay, love you.
1:13:05 Speaker 02 I'm making a copy of the keys.
1:13:06 Speaker 01 Thank you. Bye.
Previous Steph Tolev Loves Her Dog Next Jay Jurden is Holding Space Page updated November 5, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated