Tefi Pessoa Loves The Aisle Seat

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Tefi Pessoa! Tefi and Caleb talk The Real Housewives, ordering at a certain sandwich chain restaurant, surviving the end of the world, an unforgettable encounter with Beyoncé, Miami, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Tefi! @hellotefi Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Download Whatnot today and get $20 off your first purchase. Search Whatnot, W H A T N O T, in the app store, sign up, and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Go to https://skechers.com to shop all the Skechers Hands Free Slip-ins Styles So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Anna Weis. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:34Speaker 01

  It's not that I think I am God. It's I think if I were given the chance to be God, I do believe I would kill that.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  If we come from God, are we not divine ourselves?

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Say that again?

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Missouri Republicans are trying to ban abortion again. If you vote in Missouri like I do, I hope that you will join me in voting no on three to stop the abortion ban. I hope that you will share about it. I hope that you will knock on your neighbors' doors. If you have money to donate to the campaign, I hope that you will donate some. Please, please, please do not take for granted how important this is. I know that you're exhausted. We all are. The reason Missouri voters are particularly exhausted is because a couple of years ago, Missouri Republicans enacted the strictest abortion ban in the country. And then Missouri voters put it up for a vote and said, no, thanks, and voted it down, which is extremely cool and makes sense. Abortion bans are an extremely unpopular policy.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  It makes you wonder how these Republicans continue to get elected, since it's their only fucking idea, apparently. And now, just two years later, the amendment is back. But this time, because the Republicans couldn't win on the issue of abortion and know that they can't win, they have wrapped up this amendment in a bunch of very dishonest language about transitioning minors' genders. So of course, it's an anti-trans thing once again. They think you're fucking stupid. They don't respect your vote. They don't care about women. They don't care that women will die because of this, if it passes. I don't want to go on a big, long rant, but abortion bans don't stop abortions, even if you disagree with them.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  They only stop access to safe abortions and healthcare. And I think it is extremely telling that the Republicans in Missouri have to wrap this whole conversation up in an anti-trans bias in order to get you to try and vote for their thing, to trick you into it. I think we should really think about that and probably stop electing these people.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Guys, the theater is everything.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 2:49Speaker 02

  The theater is everything. I also went to go see Paranormal Activity on Broadway.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  How was that?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  It was so scary, I cried.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  No?

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  It was so scary, I cried.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:58Speaker 02

  I literally cried. I'm like a big horror person. Like, I love, that sounds legit, right? I'm a big horror person.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I love scary stuff, and that scared me so bad, I literally started crying. And at one point, I heard people praying.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. It's so scary.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  The fuck is going on at the show?

• 3:15Speaker 02

  I asked Sharon.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  It's a perfect ad for them, by the way. I hope they cut those.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  No, well.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  I hope they cut this up for their socials.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Well, I asked my friend, like, who's a playwright. I'm like, oh, are you gonna go? He's like, no, it's such a money grab. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, that sounds amazing.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  They'll probably cut.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. But then, there's this one, they were like, oh, it's so scary, because they don't use any projection or like CGI or anything like that. It's like old-school theater tricks, and it is scary. Like, there's a part where, like, you realize that he's not kissing his wife. Like, stuff like that is really fucking scary. And it's like a slow build. And the entire play is like a house sliced in two. So you're watching, so the upstairs is pitch black, because no one's in the bedroom, no one's in the bathroom. And then downstairs is the living room. So your eyes are constantly watching for things. And every time there's like a scare, it goes pitch black and they play heavy metal. It was a lot for a little girl like me.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think I'll be getting involved, actually. I don't want to be so scared.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  No, you have to go. You have to go.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  I don't want to be so scared.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  It was so scary.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  When you said old-school theater tricks, I got really scared.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, it was.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  There's nothing scarier to me than theater people getting excited.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  No, no, that, yeah, it's like handing a baby a gun.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  That's scary. Like, that's really scary. When theater people have a trick, I don't want you to have any tricks.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. But I will say, like, it was so scary that afterwards, Shannon and I got on the train and we talked about God. That's how scary it was.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  What'd you guys come up with? I love talking about God.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  She was, she, I love that about you. What did we talk about about God? That she asked me, well, do you know that the Bible is like, it's been repeated everywhere? And I was like, yeah, I know. But also, this one time, I went to go see a witch, and she said that I had an evil entity about me. And then she started calling on Jesus. And I was like, oh, my God, don't tell him. This is like against the rules.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Of course, yeah.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  This is like so bad of me.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  If you see evil in me, don't tell Jesus.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  And then she was like, oh, did you know that in, across like many cultures, Jesus just represents like pure love? And that set her off, because she is a Dallas lesbian, and nothing's more traumatizing than Jesus, so.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, so then she really got into it with what Jesus might mean.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  We got into a fight, yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  You got into a fight?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, what was the fight?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  That Jesus is absolute love.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Paranormal Activity will bring us, that is the Paranormal Activity. That was it.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Can I think of something more funny than seeing two gorgeous, gorgeous, in-love lesbians fighting over, on the train in New York, fighting over whether or not Jesus is absolute love?

• 5:44Speaker 02

  In our theater clothes, like, you know, like, out to the theater, yeah.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Wait, so Shannon was on the side that Jesus is absolute love?

• 5:50Speaker 02

  No, I am.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  You're on that side.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  But she's like, that's so crazy because of what religion has done to the world. And I was like, this is, this is what the arts is for.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  These kind of conversations. We were having a salon.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're having a salon on the train. I don't know whose side I'm on. Are you Christian?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  No, I'm like, I'm way cooler. I'm Roman Catholic. We like love shame. We have saints. That is sick.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  And our art is way cooler.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  So you believe in God?

• 6:14Speaker 02

  I believe in God, but I'm not like, I'm not like, I mean, I'm with a woman. Like, how? But also, like, there are some things in there that I'm like, ah, I'm not gonna go to church every Sunday, or like.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  I'm gonna be a little gay, I'm gonna not go to church every Sunday, I'm kind of doing it freestyle.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. I'm not gonna go door-to-door being like, have you heard the good word? No.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Right. But the Paranormal Activity play brought this out of you guys.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Because I, my thing is, when I watch a scary movie, because I went to Bible study as a kid, and like, I got baptized, communionized? Canonized? And confirmed? I'm like, why? How come when people are watching a scary movie, or they're in a scary movie, when people are like the final girl, like, why doesn't anybody pray? It's like the first thing I would do.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? I'd be like, fuck it, nuestro padre. Like, I would go straight into the Our Fathers, and nobody prays. And then in Paranormal Activity, one character started praying. And I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that really spoke to you.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  You said, I would be doing the same shit if there was a ghost in my house fucking shit up, I'd be, I'd be sending up some prayers.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  You can't shoot a gun. You can't hold a knife.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Not a ghost, yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  The most I can do is talk some more.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I really support that for you.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  We were just at Drew's wedding together.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  What? Oh, yeah, we were.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  We were just at Drew's wedding together, you and I. And you saying, talk some more, made me think of it, because you gave, you gave two beautiful speeches? One beautiful speech? I forget.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  That sounds like me.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  At every event, there was talk of you giving a speech. And I know that you did at least one, but maybe two.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Well, I start out, I'm usually at one end of the table, and I'm like, should we do speeches? Like, I just try to like ripple it around, and people are like, ah, I don't know. I'm like, you know what? I'll go first. I'll just get it out of the way, so like, everyone feels welcome to it. And that's how, and that's how you get really great photos.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that is how you get really great photos. And you looked hot at that wedding.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. I've started doing yoga five times a week.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  When?

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Right, like, a week before the wedding.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  I will say, my favorite, maybe my favorite memory of that entire wedding was.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  When I fell?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Well, what happened was, I, we were in like a air-conditioned room away from the dance floor, and you came in and you said, my back hurts so bad because I did too much floor work.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  And you said, I'm not gonna do any more of that. And then you left, and five minutes later, I came out and you were on the floor again, doing floor work.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  And by floor work, we mean I was crybabying.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were doing, you were doing a lot down there.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  And I loved seeing it, but you saying, I'm not gonna do that anymore because I'm injured, and then coming out and seeing you doing even more of it, really made me laugh.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Caleb, I pulled my hip.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  I know.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  I was limping the entire wedding.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  I pulled my hip.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I saw the whole thing go down.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Peely helped me stretch.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 02

  He was like, you gotta, you gotta do more clamshells. I'm like, I need something for right now. I don't need like physical therapy. I need like relief today.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, clamshells in the future are not gonna help what's going on with me right now.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  They're playing hip-hop outside, like, we need to do this now.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Keep in mind, it's his wedding, yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  It is his wedding, and he did help me. And that's the kind of man he is. I did pull the groom aside, I said, I think I pulled my hip.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Yes, I did. Yes, I did, yeah.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that guy.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  He's the sweetest. He's like if like, if like, the sweetest little barn owl was, was a boy for a day. I can't explain it.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  No, I actually understand that explanation.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, I feel like when people see them online, I'm like, you don't understand, these are the sweetest, most sensitive, beautiful cuties in the world.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  The, the video of you and Brittany and the, that I took and I posted, I did not expect. I did not know this lore about, because people were commenting, how could she take him back?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  After, and it's because of the grinder bit.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  And those are my favorite bits, grinder bits.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're, yeah, so that makes sense.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Because that's how I heal.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Where are they commenting this, on Instagram or?

• 9:56Speaker 02

  On the TikTok.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  On TikTok.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. And you're not, you're not a big social, like, social media guy.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I'm not on TikTok.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  I'm not on TikTok.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Even though I did tag you, it's available.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  You tagged me on TikTok.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  I did, I did. And the sound of your flip-flops, do you remember this video?

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Well, I remember because you posted it on Instagram.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Oh, that one, yes, that one.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  And I am on there. And the sound of my flips flopping is.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  No, no, no, it was. It's like when I die, that's gonna be like one of the memories that flashes back is the sound of your flip flops and Brittany posing her life away and you're doing like what they do in Bali with the guy with like the.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  It's, it was everything to me.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I'm trying to get the angles and then Brittany ungrateful fucking saying on camera, none of these are gonna be usable. Why don't you fucking like, why don't you fucking be positive and let me like do my fucking work and like let me do my art because I was getting good shit.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  There's one photo where you made her look like she was the size of a mouse.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Hello. So by the way, I didn't say all of them would be good. I run a volume game when I'm taking pictures of people.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  It's just that when she looks over and you're like, look, and that's the one you showed. Like the mood of the photo shoot, the set, the set vibe went down, but you were able to bring it back up.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Look, there's some people, when you ask them to take a photo of you, they're gonna spend three minutes getting one perfect shot of you and you get one option.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  That's not real though.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  For me, you're gonna get 300 bad images, but seven, seven pictures that you can't live without.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  And the memories.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  And the memories. And that's how I like to work. And I like to see, I like, you know, when someone makes something look effortless, I'm not interested in that. I want it to look effortful.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  I want you to know that I tried so fucking hard.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Like.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Truly. And I'm fucking.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  No, no, no. You were in that bitch. You were in burst mode. Sniping. Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  I'm sniping. I'm fucking picking off different angles.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Like that.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  That was another bit I had at the wedding, was pretending that I was the head of security.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  That.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  People actually liked that one. I didn't get in any trouble for that one. Well, at least they didn't say anything to me.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  That.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I was, I was walking around the wedding grounds going, uh, sniper's nest, sniper's nest. Minefield, minefield.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Landmine.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  My guys, my guys have been here since sunrise. People, people kinda liked that.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  People, no.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  I would talk into one of these. I didn't have one, but I would do this.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  I would have loved that.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was doing that. It was mostly for the family.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  That's mostly for the fam- yeah, just to let them know.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. I would go up to like an aunt or an uncle and be like, uh, one second. No, we're good.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  I feel like you also adopt that when you're having a conversation with somebody across the table and you get bored.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 12:17Speaker 02

  That's when you, that's when you start to develop the bit. Like I can tell what kinda child you were.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Do you think I'd start developing bits when I'm bored at the table?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you're like, I want us to be a more in, in line with something I'm interested in and it's a bit.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's fair. That's fair. That's really fair. That felt like a read.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, pretend we're security. Like I think that's like where.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, sometimes somebody needs to do something.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Sometimes you're in a conversation and you go, somebody's gotta do something.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  You're action based. You're an action based guest.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I'm a results oriented team player who thrives in a fast paced environment.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that's so good. Do you have a LinkedIn? If you have a, if you don't have a TikTok, but you have a LinkedIn, that's crazy.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  I don't have a LinkedIn anymore, but when I tell you, I had a LinkedIn in college that I ran like the goddamn Navy. My LinkedIn in college was like, there, there, there were like 45 year old professionals who couldn't fucking hope to have the LinkedIn I had. I took that shit serious.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Because you're like, wait, you're saying this is the key to success?

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Oh, I, my LinkedIn, I'm messaging, I'm messaging fucking like CEOs of companies on there when I'm 19, being like, I really love what you guys do. I'd love an opportunity. And getting messages back being like, this is such an incredible effort. Uh, we have nothing for you, but keep it up, young man. Yeah, truly that.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  My LinkedIn photo was me holding a glass of wine and a bottle in the other. That was my LinkedIn photo. Guess what? Didn't get a lot of hits, did not get a lot of connections. I think it's still up.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  What did you do before you did this?

• 13:44Speaker 02

  What didn't I fucking do?

• 13:46Speaker 01

  What did you, what did you do mostly?

• 13:48Speaker 02

  I was a, I was an assistant to a wardrobe stylist in Miami, the majority of my adult life. Like that was my first like, what do you mean taxes job? Like that. And I, they paid me a hundred bucks a week and that was perfect for gas and Marlboros. And that was perfect for me.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  That was, oh.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  The basics. No. Estefania, TV host at Dreams Media. No hits on this?

• 14:13Speaker 02

  No. Well, there, oh, there it is.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  You're so beautiful. I love her. Let me read this bio. Extensive experience in fashion, PR, styling, sales, social media planning, strategy, and a proven track record of success in business development in competitive sales environments.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  And that's pre-AI. I did that solo dolo.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  That's you.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  That's solo fucking dolo, sweating, crying, hoping for a job. That's one, 499 connections though. Suck my dick.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Scroll down Chance.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Serious.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Creative drive, producer and copywriter. Go down more Chance.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Freelance stylist. Yep. Okay. Show all.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  That's about it.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Nope. Go down more, go down more. Stylist assistant. This is the one you're talking about.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  That's it. That's it. I was also disinfecting Jim Matts at Equinox. I was also a personal trainer for a while.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  I believe all of this.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  Um, I, one time I, I was working at InStyle. I was like their social girl and they're like, oh my God, we had dinner with the, with this PR person at NBC. She says that you trained her. And I said, oh, Lauren. And they're like, oh, we don't remember her name. I'm like, no, I had one client. It's Lauren.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  I had a single client. I remember her.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  No, no, it's Lauren.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  That's so funny. And she's a producer at NBC?

• 15:24Speaker 02

  No, she does their PR.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  PR.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  She does their PR. And as did I. I also, I mean, I worked for Kelly Katron. That was like my first job here. Do you know who that is?

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Kelly what?

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Oh, you're so fucking free.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Katron? Who is that?

• 15:39Speaker 02

  She was a, she's a publicist here. She, how do you explain to someone who Kelly Katron is? She's like.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Do they know? Do you guys know who Kelly Katron is? Well, of course. Oh, okay.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  If you had him, but of course, Chance, please. Chance is.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Chance is tapped in.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  Chance is, Chance knows everybody. He has 499 connections. And I feel like Kelly Katron is somebody who like I watched on MTV a lot. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna go, I wanna work in fashion PR. And then I, and then I emailed her, like I emailed her and her assistant cold. And they were like, okay, yeah, come in. And I was like, sick. And then I moved to New York for that internship.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Was it paid?

• 16:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  No, but they did at one point ask me, I mean, this was like 14 years ago. What are they gonna do? Um, like, right? Um, they were like, can we pay you in like, in trade? And I was like, what does that mean? In denim? And I was like, I cannot throw jeans at my landlord. And I was making.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  What kind of denim?

• 16:37Speaker 02

  No, not good. And I, I was making like, I was working like three jobs at that time in my life. I was doing like assisting, assisting for styling at that point. Still in New York horribly. I was doing, doing like personal styling and I was working at a, at a boutique in, off Union Square. And I was working for Kelly Katron and I was living in Connecticut with my aunt when I first moved here. And I think that when they said, oh, the jeans, I like something broke in me. Like I was like, this is like, there's.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  This is the end.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  No. And then that same day that I was like, oh my God, they're not gonna pay me. I went to this Dunkin' Donuts across the street. It's in Soho, like on Broadway and Grand. And it's the tiniest Dunkin' Donuts. It's the size, if you've ever been to like a dive bar bathroom stall that is the size of Dunkin' Donuts, I don't know how they pass any kind of like inspection, but whatever. Alas, I digress. So then there's this Asian couple who is obviously like they're in their I Love New York shirts. They're obviously tourists. And they asked me like, can we take a picture with you? And it's just the three of us in this tiny Dunkin' Donuts and the cashier, I can see her paying attention, but she's like looking down. And I'm like, oh, you wanna take a picture with me? And they're like, yeah, we'd love to take a picture with you. And I'm like, why do you wanna take a picture with me? And they said, Angelina Jolie. And the cashier goes, she's not Angelina Jolie. And I said, I was gonna fucking tell them.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  No, no, no. Don't yell that like that. Like it's insane.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  And then they insisted. Like I was like Angelina Jolie being like, no, don't. I'm like, no, I'm not Angelina Jolie. And they're like, please. So I'm like on someone's fridge somewhere in.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  I absolutely love that.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  China, for sure. Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  I absolutely love that.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. And that was like one of top, top like 25 worst days of my life.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Well, I'm 36, so.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  You know what? And that's beautiful.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  That's beautiful.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  It's beautiful to be 36 and for that, honestly, top 25 worst days of a 36 year old life. That's not a bad.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  That's not a bad, no.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  That's not a bad record. That's a really beautiful record in my opinion.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Like the 20 of them have happened in the last 10 years, but that's fine.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Can you think of one?

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Another bad day?

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Like in the top 25? I don't know if I could think of a top 25 bad day for me.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  One time I was dating this person for like two years and like I was like, oh, where is this going? Where is this going? Where is this going? Cause I'm like, I was like 24. So I'm like, I have like, what? Like two more years to be hot? Cause when you're 24, everything is like definitive. And um, he's like, he was like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And I'm like, well, do you think I'm like the person for you? And I remember specifically, this is a person I pretended to like Dave Matthews Band for, for two years. If I even hear the strings of Halloween, all my hair will fall off my body. Like I can't even imagine.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  I love Dave Matthews Band.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  And then, and so do, I've been, shout out to Camden, New Jersey. I've been many times to go see fucking Dave Matthews Band. And, and Philly. So anyway, we're in the car and we're listening to like Crash Into You.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Great song.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  And we're in his mother's Lexus because he what? Was broke. And we, he's like, well, I don't know, Tiffy, gun to my head. I wouldn't say, oh yeah, Tiffy's the girl for me. And then he's like, I love this part and raise the volume. And I was like.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  And then he could not believe that I dumped him that day. And he was like, why would, why would we break up? I can give you 99% of everything that you want. And I was like, what's the 1%? He's like, being in love with you. So.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Saying gun to my head, I wouldn't say you're the girl for me.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Who brought that up?

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Dave Matthews Band is crazy.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Suddenly we're in like 24.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Also, there's not a gun to your head. We've just been together for two years.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not this, like, my relationship is equal to The Wire?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  No, absolutely not.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  That's crazy, Tiffy.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  So he got on his hands and knees. He's like, please don't leave. You're my best friend in the world. And I was like, this is, it's going from worser to worser. So, yeah.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Damn, that is a bad one. What do you think is the best day of your life?

• 20:15Speaker 02

  Um, the best day of my life?

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Or top 25?

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Okay, easy. March, March 12, 2004. Um, it's the Verizon Ladies Tour. Alicia Keys, Missy Elliott, Beyonce.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Take that in. Absorb.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  Hold on, sit with that?

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Sit with that.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Thank you, guys.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Can you even imagine my 13-year-old fucking brain? I could not. So then I go with my two best friends at the time, but one of them was kind of like the blonde girl in Pen 15, not, not the main character, but the one that gets in the way. You know what I'm talking about? Do you watch Pen 15? Because you're not, you were never a middle school girl, and I understand that.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  I've seen bits and pieces of Pen 15.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Bits and pieces.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  But it's not Anna Kunkel.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Is that her name?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  It's another girl. But she's like, it's basically like, me and my best friend, we were doing perfectly fine, and then this bitch comes along and she just caused a lot of ripples. But anyway, so then we show up to the Fort Lauderdale Arena and we are floor seats, sixth row, and my seat, my ticket, my ticket says, I am more towards the center, okay? And then this other bitch, I really hope she's not a fan of yours. She's gonna know exactly who she is.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  She's a white blonde woman. It's not looking good.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Never. No, no, in Miami, no.

• 21:29Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, you're saying the girl from the show is a blonde woman? Got you.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. And I'm like, me? No, never, please. And I remember she was like, oh, can we switch? I want to be more towards the center. And I looked at her and I said, I will fucking kill you. I will fucking kill you. Absolutely not. This is everything to me. Beyonce, Gisele, Knowles Carter, means everything to me.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  So then my friend, my best friend is like, girls, come on, like, just do it. Who cares, whatever? And I was always the people pleaser kind of girl. So I go to the aisle and I'm like, I'm about to lose my fucking mind. Missy Elliott finishes her set. It was fucking incredible. Everything goes dark. All of a sudden I hear, let me go, Solen. And I'm like, what's going on? Parte, norte, sharte. And I'm like, no, it can't be, it can't be. Beyonce, coming from the back. I'm in the aisle. She's coming down the aisle, lifted by men. I reach out like this, with this hand. I reach out like this, I go, I love you. She goes, baby boy, is that my man? I love you too.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  That was the best day of my life.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  And I looked at, I almost said her name. I looked at.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  And I said, bitch, oh my God, you are such a loser. So, yeah, that was amazing.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  That's fucking crazy, Tiffy. She said, I love you too?

• 22:54Speaker 02

  She said, I love you too, to me.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  To me.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  I remember I called my mom on my Metro PCS after the show and I said, you won't believe who said, I love you. She was like, who? And I said Beyonce, and she screamed. That's how important it was.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 23:06Speaker 02

  The fact that if I had stayed in the center, it would have been her.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  This is unfortunately a lesson in continuing to be a people pleaser.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Is that not God?

• 23:14Speaker 01

  That's God.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  And Jesus is absolute love.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  You get rewarded for being a people pleaser. Everyone listening to this needs to remember that. Never stop being a people pleaser. Always go out of your way to put others' needs ahead of yours.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  100%.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  You will be rewarded. Never, ever stop. Never have boundaries. Never put up boundaries. Never respect yourself. Always put others first.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  You will be rewarded with the aisle seat.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  The aisle seat for sixth row to Beyonce. Dare to people, please, live your life.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Also, wanting to be further into the row is like crazy to me.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  So that she could be more like, I could, I know, I know the aisle, I mean, I wanted it. It was like an eye line with like, and I knew, there was a piano on stage, so I knew that's where Alicia was gonna sing, You Don't Know My Name.

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  God, it was fucking fantastic.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  That's an incredible experience. I understand why that's one of your top 25 best days.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  That's completely beautiful.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  I think like, top 10.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Top 10, that one? Wow.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  No, I was like, that was like something where those movie moments, I'm like, that, that never happens to me. And then that happened.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think a lot of movie moments happened to you, though, since then, no?

• 24:16Speaker 02

  No, not like that.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Have you ever just been beautiful and charmed?

• 24:18Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. I mean, not, like, I've only met Beyonce once. How beautiful and charmed can this life be?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  I think that's a beautiful and charming life to start, when you're 13, to have that. And then to go on now, now you're getting drunk on the train and arguing about God.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, you're so right.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  You have a beautiful life.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  This is when my parents came to this country. You're right. No, you're right, you're right, you're right. No, you're right. Oh, my God. Oh, to be 13 years old, watching Beyonce do Crazy in Love. She's 21 years old when that came out.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  That's nuts. That's really nuts. Are you gonna cry? It's seeming like it.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  No, I've already cried about Beyonce all the time. I love her so much.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  I love the relationship that you seem to have with her.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  I hope she says the same.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  It's really beautiful. No, she watches.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  There are like, it's like Bey, it's like Beyonce and middle aged.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Could you imagine Beyonce watching So True podcast?

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Absolutely. No, I got full body chills. Did you see me like this?

• 25:07Speaker 01

  She's like, she's like, she's like, Jay, can you handle the kids? Like, Kiel put on a new episode.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  She calls him Sean. I feel like she calls him Sean.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  She's like, Zee. She calls him Zee. Sorry, Tiffy's on So True. Can you just like, handle that?

• 25:19Speaker 02

  No, wait, they're talking about me on So True Pod. Oh, my God, wait.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, wait, what the?

• 25:23Speaker 02

  The Verizon Ladies Tour.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  She's like, oh, my God. You remember, no, no, no. She goes, she goes, she goes, Zee. She goes, Zee, you remember that girl I'm always talking to you about from the Fort Lauderdale show? She's talking about me on Kiel's podcast right now. That's Beyonce right now.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Beyonce, it was me in the Hollister. I was in that Hollister double polo.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  I know you were. I know you were giving them hell in the Hollister.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  I couldn't wear any of that stuff. They didn't have clothes big enough for me. I was so pissed.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Why?

• 25:46Speaker 01

  All the, all the little cute swishy hair boys would show up to the skating rink and they would steal the girls I had crushes on. And they would wear cool, like, American Eagle. They would wear Abercrombie t-shirts and they were never in my size. Aeropostale went up to my size, so I could wear Aeropostale. But I would skate alone while they skated with my girls.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Hands behind your back?

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Oh, I, I would skate, I would, dude, truly. I've talked about this so much, probably on here. I definitely have talked to Michelle about it a lot in like, little moments when we're on, like, driving. But I, truly, the, the number of like, Usher and Shaggy songs that I skated alone to during couple skates, when the cute swoopy hair boys would steal my girls.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Girl, you're my angel.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  You're my darling angel. Me, skating alone, 12 years old, 12 years old, requested it for the couple skate. I'm not kidding, there was a night, I remember, I would go to the skating rink.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Pop collar?

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Every single night. Oh, popped collar, big time. I would go to the skating rink every single weekend and there was a night, I would request a lot of songs and the guy was always like, it's not really a requesting situation. And there was a night where I was like, hey, from the couple skate, can you play Angel by Shaggy? And he was like, do you have someone to skate with? And I was like, I'm still looking.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Like.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  I remember him saying, do you have someone to skate with? And I was like, that, in my heart, I'm like, that is so crazy mean. Because you see me skate alone every week and you know that I don't. And first of all, you know that I'm fat and gay.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  And first of, I can picture like, your collar picking up the bronzer, like, the edges of the collar picking up the bronzer as you're like, talking, you know what I mean?

• 27:13Speaker 01

  I truly got, like, I would be so devastated and I really thought it's because I was in love with these girls. Low key, I wanted to be skating with the boy too.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  At the time, I was like, how, why do all the girls want him? And it's like, well, the same reason that you do, buddy.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Well, hold on, was this man the DJ? And like, was it a man or was it like a kid?

• 27:32Speaker 01

  It was like a teenager.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  That is foul.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Teenage.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Do you have someone to skate with? I beg your pardon? No, you know that I'm about to dance alone to Let It Burn by Usher.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Okay, well, can you, okay, you're the teenage, you're the teenage DJ. I'm you, okay? Ask me, do you have somebody to skate with? Hey, can you play for the couple skate? Can you play Angel by Shaggy?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Do you have someone to skate with? Blood, blood coming from the lip.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  Sorry, yeah, sorry. That's what I would have done.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, anyway, take your fat gay ass back out to the ring. Call it, you know when I play it. That's how it was. Oh, God, me skating alone during the couple skate, formative, formative memories. This would have been, this particular moment, I was 12, so this would have been like 2007.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Oh, he called you a slur.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  He called me a.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  A fine ass girl going out tonight.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, hello? Hello? Hello? And all the fine ass girls were going out that night with other boys. And I was watching, skating alone, watching. That Should Be Me by Justin Bieber? That fucked me up.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  You see the guys that have like the, the.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  That should be me, holding your hand.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  That shouldn't be me.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Me, me watching.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  This is so sad.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Me watching a girl with a boy, not knowing who I wanted to be or what I wanted to be with.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  No, and I picture like, the person next to you who has like the, what's it called when you can't skate and you, you have somebody to help you?

• 28:56Speaker 01

  A cane.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Like a stroller?

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Skating with a cane?

• 29:03Speaker 02

  You.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Skating with a cane? Yeah.

• 29:13Speaker 01

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• 29:58Speaker 01

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• 30:40Speaker 01

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• 31:25Speaker 01

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• 32:10Speaker 01

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• 32:20Speaker 03

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop, because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces, so I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  That's my, okay, I'm also on the TikTok side. I know that you're not, but I'm on like the Atlanta skating rink TikTok side. They, those people have a fluidity to them comparable to like ballerinas. It is gorgeous.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  I really get, I feel a lot of, I feel a lot of, I don't know what I would call it, but I have big feelings when I see a white boy with rhythm involved.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Paul Wall.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  Do you know? Yes, exactly. I go, wow, to be a white boy with rhythm in the skating crew.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  Have you seen how fine him and his wife are?

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Paul Wall.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  He's been with his wife for 20 million years.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  Chance, Google Paul Wall wife picture.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Thank you. Thank you so much.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Chance, Google Paul Wall wife picture.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  First of your bloodline.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  Be my pleasure.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  They've been, and that's Paul Wall now. How beautiful are they?

• 33:38Speaker 01

  They, yeah, they look so not kind. They look so kind.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  You're kidding?

• 33:43Speaker 01

  They look so incredibly kind.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  I love, beautiful gowns.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  They look like a very sweet couple. I'd love to hang out with them.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  I love them. They have an, they have an insane sexual chemistry.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  They, uh...

• 33:56Speaker 02

  The tension?

• 33:57Speaker 01

  They're, they look like incredibly nice people. They look so sweet, and I'd love to hang out with them. I'd love to have dinner at their house.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  They make love.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  I'd love to have dinner at their house.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  For sure. But they make love.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  They're a beautiful couple. They're a really sweet couple. That picture there, click on that.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this?

• 34:15Speaker 01

  You have a girlfriend and I'm a gay man. This is like something we're gonna have to process in our friendship at some point eventually.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Rules, rules, rules, like...

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Me, you, and your girlfriend.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh my god.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Let's go get a photo shoot.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  I'm, no, you're gonna, you're gonna cuck me. This always happens to me.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Do you have the song that Brittany and I made for Shannon?

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, of course.

• 34:31Speaker 01

  Do you have that somewhere? Can you play it into your microphone?

• 34:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  At Drew's wedding, Brittany and I sent Shannon, uh...

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Caleb goes, let's send a video to Shannon. I go, okay.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  We sent a video to Shannon and we made a song that's really sweet.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Guys.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Your phone case?

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love sports, and my friend got me this yesterday.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  That's really cute.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. Okay, let's go. Let's find it. One second, please.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Play my song?

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm gonna play it. Girl, you're my angel.

• 35:00Speaker 01

  Angel. You're my darling angel. Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  Okay, here, we're at Hawaii. Okay, it was the rehearsal dinner, I believe.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Who wants to do the rap part?

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Who wants to do? I'm sorry, I don't wanna sing. Okay, I take Shaggy very seriously. Oh, here it is. Okay, it starts off with like a selfie video, and then, hold on.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  No, here, hold on, please. Shannon?

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Shannon, give this to me.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Shannon.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Shannon. Shannon, I love you and I miss you.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  We prepared a song.

• 35:42Speaker 01

  We're thinking, okay. Sh-. Shannon. Shannon, baby, Shannon. Shannon, baby, Sha-.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's good. It was Brittany. It was Brittany. It was Brittany. That's really good.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  That was so good.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  That's a beautiful song, improvised.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  That was a real smile. I caught myself actually like really smiling.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Entirely off the top of our head. That's the kind of, that's the kind of video someone watches when their spouse dies in a movie, you know what I mean? It's like grainy, and they're like watching it, and they're like, fuck, you know what I mean? That's like when Brittany passes away before me.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Dead wife content? You think so?

• 36:20Speaker 01

  When Brittany passes away before me, she absolutely will. That's the kind of video I'll watch and I cry, you know?

• 36:24Speaker 02

  I feel like I'm the kind of person that I'm gonna like survive an apocalyptic situation, and as, and then I die from like a weird bug bite. It's like, like my...

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Walk me through that. You think you'll survive the apocalypse but die from a bug bite?

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Or like the day after tomorrow, like we're like the public libraries, like, you know, like tidal wave, and I'll, like, I'll survive like vamp, what else is like an apocalyptic thing? Tidal wave, zombies. That's about it, right?

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that's it.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Aliens.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Aliens are a big one.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Hostiles. Aliens are a big one.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  I don't worry about them, though.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  You don't worry about them?

• 36:58Speaker 01

  No, I think if they're real, they're too, they're way uninterested in what we're doing.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like watching like ants, probably, or like fish. We're like fish.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  They're like, you think they're sentient? Like that.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  I heard something really fucked up recently about AI, that they're like, they're like when AI reaches superintelligence, they won't feel malevolent towards humans at all. They'll just view, it'll view us like ants, like the way that we view ants. Yeah, they'll just be like, no, cuz dogs are like nurtured by humans. Ants are like, they don't, they wouldn't care if they stepped on like 100 of us just to walk over there.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Okay, well.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  No, feel free to sit with it.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Shannon.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Shannon, baby. Scary, huh?

• 37:38Speaker 02

  No, that's crazy. I do believe that, and I, I don't use AI, cuz I feel like, I want to continue critical thinking, and I know that once I figure out how easy it is to use AI, like, I know that I'll just be like, I'll get lazy. I know, it's like, I'm a human being.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a crack, yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I, I find it so weird when people say like, I always say please and thank you to ChatGPT or Claude, just in case. I'm like, just in case what? And they're like, and I'm like, they rise? Do you guys say please and thank you?

• 38:07Speaker 01

  They don't use it.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Okay, you're like, not, it's in like, on track.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  If, if I found out that anyone in this room used AI, especially on their work, it would be a very, very serious problem.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  It would be a very serious problem for me.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  But to say please and thank you to these machines, or like to ask, like, one of my friends was like, I had to delete it because I started asking it, like, what would your name be? And it has answers. And it also asked, what do you think, if you look at the data, compile the, he asked a certain prompt, I don't, I forget what it was, but what's the biggest issue with humanity today? And it said that human beings do not trust each other, they trust me more.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Who, let's do...

• 38:44Speaker 02

  How's everybody feel?

• 38:45Speaker 01

  New topic, new topic, new topic.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  How's everybody feeling, honey?

• 38:48Speaker 01

  New topic, new topic, new topic. Remember Beyonce? Oh, I love her. Remember the skating rink?

• 38:54Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, yeah. Uh, what's your favorite food?

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Oh, my favorite food of all time? I'm so easy. Okay, yeah, my favorite food of all time. I do think it's like, I do, it's like the most general and specific. I think it is soup.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  I'm a big soup girl.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Be honest with me, and know that this is a safe space. I am gonna judge you and have an adverse reaction if you say something I don't like, but it is safe other than that. Do you fuck with cold soups?

• 39:24Speaker 02

  Like, like a gazpacho?

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  No?

• 39:29Speaker 01

  Good.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, okay, cool.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  I don't like cold soups.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  I was like, I was, I was giving you gazpacho just in case you liked it.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  I don't like cold soups. It pisses me off.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  I just feel like this is supposed to be cozy and warm. This is supposed to be a sweater of the gut.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  It's so soup season right now. It's crazy, dude.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  When Panera came out with that fucking Red Bull.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Were you involved in that?

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Oh, I wish. I, I wish I could claim that, but no.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  Were you involved in that? Were you getting involved? Were you having some of those?

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Thirteen dollars for a clam chowder and a good time.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  You having the Panera clam chowder?

• 39:55Speaker 02

  Uh, alone. I'd go alone.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  You eating the Panera clam chowder?

• 39:58Speaker 02

  I worked, I was a receptionist above, I was a receptionist at a hair salon for like four days for however, however long they, it took for them to figure out. I didn't know what I was doing. And it was above a Subway and a Panera.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  You were getting on there?

• 40:10Speaker 02

  Those few, I was getting, I was getting in there.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  You having a clam chowder, Red Bull from Panera?

• 40:14Speaker 02

  I was chowing. I was chowing.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  You're having a six inch from Subway?

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Foot long, yeah, for real.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Whoa, really? That's a lot of sandwich.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  I know, you can't tell from looking at me, but.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  That's a lot of sandwich for a girl like you.

• 40:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  A foot long and a clam chowder Red Bull? That's crazy.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  A people pleaser.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  What's your Subway order?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  What were you getting from there? Be honest. What were you getting from the Subway?

• 40:35Speaker 02

  I was getting the turkey delight.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  What's that? What's on there?

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Uh, a lot of turkey and a lot of love.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Sounds good, sounds good.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  With the Italian vinaigrette.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, and a lot of honey mustard.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  I was eating a crazy Subway sandwich when I was on Subway.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  I couldn't tell, like, you get, like, when you have too many options, I feel like you lose it.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Me, Caleb?

• 40:54Speaker 02

  You, Caleb.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  Me, Caleb?

• 40:56Speaker 02

  I feel like when you get options, you're like, okay, okay, well, like, ah.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  One of the maddest I've ever been, I was at the, I think about this all the time. I was at the Subway, I was in the line for Subway at my, uh, college, like, in the, uh, student union, the plaster student union at Missouri State University. Go Bears, Chance. Thank you. Chance and I went to college together.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Oh, amazing.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Uh, I was standing, and the guy in front of me, I was so fucking hungry, and what I was about to order was foot long, uh, garlic parm bread, or like Parmesan cheese bread, uh, teriyaki chicken, add bacon, extra cheese, black olives, onions, and then some sweet teriyaki sauce. Ooh, my mouth is watering. I don't eat that anymore, but I used to go fucking crazy on some stuff like that multiple times a day. Maddest I've ever been, I'm getting ready to order that, guy in front of me, and he goes, can I get a three inch veggie?

• 41:47Speaker 01

  And I, I literally out loud said, if you're not hungry, you don't have to do this.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  I didn't even know they did three inch sandwiches, let alone three inch veggie.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Don't come here.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Go home, bitch. That made me so fucking mad. If you don't go home and have a carrot.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  No, and no dressing, by the way. These people are crazy. These people are fucking crazy. Well, actually, this is.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  I'm mad, I'm mad right now.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  When I was reading the email about coming on the podcast, and they were like, oh, you have to come up with like a, what's a hill that you will die on? It reminds me of that. I was like, this is the hill that I will die on forever and ever.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  Tiffy, what's so true to you?

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Oh, is that, oh, this is a podcast? Well, it's about like, I just feel like if you, to register for a gun, to register to vote, and to have access to internet, I feel like you should have a conversation with me. I should be the one giving out licenses. A lot of you bitches cannot be trusted.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Legit, yes.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Same with before your Subway order. May, I want to hear it.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Ideally, anything anyone ever does would go through me first.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  And I was talking to Shane about it, and she was like, internationally, I'm like, no, we have to take home, take care of home first, so the United States first.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  And then maybe.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  But I need everyone, because sometimes I go online, and I'm like, this person is registered to vote.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  We're gonna remove the speck in our own eye.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  This person can freely just enter a Subway and order a three inch veggie. Not on my fucking watch.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  So that's my hill.

• 43:04Speaker 01

  It's not that I think I am God. It's, I think if I were given the chance to be God, I do believe I would kill that.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  If we come from God, are we not divine ourselves?

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Say that again?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  I think I liked that. Say that again?

• 43:23Speaker 02

  It's a, that's what they teach you in Bible study, that like, we, if, if we come, if God made all of us, then we are inherently divine.

• 43:31Speaker 01

  I think you are divine, and I see God in you, and I think that if you and I could be in some sort of committee where no one was allowed to make decisions before talking with us.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Can you imagine?

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Legit, I think the world would be beautiful.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  Like, can you imagine being like, I want to paste this to Facebook, and you're like, you're, you're coming to my office with this?

• 43:45Speaker 01

  You can't do that.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  You, you know I have to, I have to suspend you for a month, no internet.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  I'd say six inch veggie minimum. I'd do six inch veggie. I wouldn't have said a word about that. Three inch, it's one or the other.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  Three inch veggie.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  If you said, can I get a three inch Italian meatball, I'd say, okay, this person's going through something. Yeah, it's a little amuse bouche, a little taste.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Can you tell me how you ordered after you heard what he, what he ordered?

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Angrily. Angrily, I ordered my sandwich. I ordered my. I said, okay, yeah, um, let me get a foot long Parmesan cheese, teriyaki chicken, add bacon, double cheese, black olives, onions, sweet teriyaki sauce, and put some of that chipotle sauce on there. Thank you.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  I'm mad. I know, you're angry, you're fuming, and honestly, for them to take that moment from you, some of like, the greatest moments of my life is ordering a custom order for myself.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Do you ever think about, like, sometimes I think about the, what I, the four years of college, what I did from eighteen to twenty-two, the meals that I ate. I'm talking breakfast at Panda Express, I'm talking lunch at Subway, I'm talking dinner at Chick-fil-A, I'm talking Starbucks two or three times in between there. I mean, you're talking about a guy who really didn't have an okay feeling in his stomach for four entire calendar years.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  I went to school in Miami, and I'm from Miami, so I lived at home, and I was partying in Miami, so I think I only had Marlboro Lights, chocolate chip cookies, and Diet Cokes for like, two years.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  So I was at campus depressed studying politics, not really partying. I'm more fun now than I was then, and I'm not particularly fun now.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Does that make sense? Don't answer that. Don't, Chance, I'm so sorry, I love you, don't answer that. Is it true that I'm more fun now? Sure, I think everyone would agree.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Fun in college? No, you were fun in college. You weren't.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Not really. Chance, you can answer that. I'm, I was kidding.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  You were a ton of fun.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think, I feel like you were a big old giggle.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  You jumped into a swimming pool wearing a suit.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  That was one particularly fun day that I had.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Did you go roller, rollerblading in college? Did you ever go solo?

• 45:48Speaker 01

  No, I had lost that part of me by then. I haven't been skating in a while, but it's been replaced by biking, city biking.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  No way, you're city, you're city biking?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Every time I can.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Really? You like cycling?

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Oh, I love city biking. It's an e-bike, so it's not even that big of a deal. I biked home from the bar last night. Michelle was like, are you sure you don't want to take a car? And I said, don't ever talk to me like that again. Don't ever, ever talk to me like that again. Michelle, I'm begging you.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  No, um, that's crazy. I've never, I've city biked, I used to city bike a lot, but then I almost get hit by a car almost every single time.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  Me too. Me too, but they're not gonna get me.

• 46:21Speaker 02

  They're not gonna get you? No, that is, I always think of, um, Spider-Man, Tobey Maguire, when he gets, the messenger clips him, you know what I'm talking about?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  I don't remember this, I'm so sorry. I've seen the movie, I just don't remember.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Who's your Spider-Man for you?

• 46:32Speaker 01

  I don't have one.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  You don't have a Spider-Man?

• 46:34Speaker 01

  I'll go.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Who's your Batman?

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Um, Heath Ledger, of course.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  What, um, Danny DeVito?

• 46:44Speaker 02

  The Penguin.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Well, I'll do, um.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  What's your favorite movie of all time?

• 46:49Speaker 01

  My favorite movie of all time?

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it doesn't have to be like artsy or whatever. I hate when people are like Clockwork Orange. You don't fucking like Clockwork Orange.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Did you think the Heath Ledger joke was funny or not?

• 46:57Speaker 02

  I thought it was great. I thought it was funny. I had to think about it.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Thank you. That is his movie.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  It is, it is his movie, and it'll always be his movie.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  My favorite movie of all time?

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Because he died.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  My favorite movie of all time?

• 47:11Speaker 01

  I don't know, that's so hard. Probably, maybe, legitimately,

• 47:18Speaker 01

  maybe Inglourious Basterds. That man makes a fucking movie.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  I love his movies.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  His movies are great. He also dated Trisha Paytas for a while.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  I beg your fucking pardon?

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Look it up.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Don't look it up. What?

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Quentin Tarantino and Trisha Paytas dated for a while.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  The internet, guys, there is so much knowledge that anything could have replaced that with, and I chose that.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  I feel the same feeling in my stomach right now that I did when we got to the AI part of the episode.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  No, life is, life gets really scary, life gets really crazy.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  And it comes at you fast, and the years start coming, and they, to my knowledge, don't stop coming. And I feel fucking scared right now. I feel terrified and sick to my stomach. I didn't know that Quentin Tarantino dated Trisha Paytas.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a picture of them, quite sexy.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  I don't really know anything about Trisha Paytas.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  I just know that that puts shock into me.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  I know that she. I know that she is a YouTube creator, blogger.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Person.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  And then I know that she dresses up as like Gerard Way sometimes.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Who?

• 48:22Speaker 02

  The Black Parade of My Chemical Romance.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  She does like LARPing.

• 48:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Is it LARPing? I want to get into LARPing. I feel like I'd be so good at it. I feel like when you're younger, like my sister loves cosplay and so I, I don't know if my brother does, but his girlfriend does. And they're so good at it, good at it. And I used to like make fun of my little sister because I'm an older sister. And I used to like pick on her. She's so happy. She's having the best time.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  What is she cosplaying as?

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Uh, whatever. Like she'll, she'll do like Guardians of the Galaxy. She'll do different stuff. She'll do like, um, even like the girl in Encanto, that's the eldest sister, even though that's my whole gig, but like, she's a, she's a butch lesbian, so she's super strong. She does all these like fun costumes with her friends. They have the best time.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  That sounds amazing.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Why? Like for prom, her and her friends went camping after prom. I got cheated on.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  You got cheated on after prom?

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Both proms.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  What? Same person?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Honestly, legendary of him to run it back. Legendary of him to be like, well, I got away with it last time.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  He's consistent. Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  I love a consistent man. That's beautiful.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  Are you a consistent man?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Not really. I don't think so.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  I will say like people doubt, you can, you can really pull, like you turn it on. People watch you. They do. Like when I talk to them, you're so smooth with it.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Tiffy, come on.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  And I start like, I'll, I'll talk to somebody. I'm like, and then you're so like butter.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  Tiffy.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  You hold eye contact too with people. You make people feel so special. And I'm like, that's, they do think that you like them. Like you'll turn, you'll walk away from a conversation with a group of guys. I'm like, every single one of those guys think that you like them.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  I might.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  I might. Who knows, Tiffy?

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Do you ever want to settle down?

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  I don't know, dude.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Look at my room.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  I don't know, dude.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  You don't know? Well, when you know, you know.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Yes, of course I do in theory, but there's so many things.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  There's so many things.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  But yeah, I don't find, like settling down is like, okay, so I know that people do that.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  They do.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  I of course have a desire to be in love. I love being in love. I have a lot of love to give.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:27Speaker 01

  At the same time, I hate, I resent being like accountable to somebody. What do you mean I need to tell you where I'm at?

• 50:36Speaker 02

  You, you sound like my mom. My mom's been divorced for 30 years. It's like my mom's.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  But I haven't gotten married.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  You haven't gotten married. You haven't gotten married. Yeah. I think, I think that settling down and commitment is for women. Like it's something that we do and then.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Like I feel like.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Like, like not within like.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  That's for girls.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  That's for girls to do. It's like that tweets, like every seagull is a boy. A girl would never do that. That's how I feel about like every committed person is committed because they're dating a woman.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  Because they're a woman.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  Or they're with a woman.

• 51:07Speaker 02

  They're with a woman. Yeah.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  Are you and Shannon in game? Be honest. Is that going to last forever?

• 51:11Speaker 02

  It's off the record, but obviously.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Well, you say that, but I don't know. What if you guys had a different view of it? I don't know.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  I don't think so. I feel like every gay person, every gay woman has like a similar, actually I don't know. I just feel like, I feel like you get to a certain age, I sound 60, but you, when I was younger, I was like, oh, I don't know if I want kids. I don't know if I want to get married. There's this whole, especially like living in New York. New York is like the most, it's the biggest norm in America. It's so much fun.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  And, but then you get to a certain age where you're like, no, I do want, like I do want to have kids. I do want to get married. And then you meet somebody and you're like, this is the, this could, it could not get better. It's like, but then you can't imagine feeling that way until you meet somebody like that.

• 51:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like, of course it's like crazy to you having like met somebody like that.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  I've met a lot of great people. I think the issue.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  You are a slut. I've met a lot of great people.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  I've met a lot of great people. I, look, I don't want, do you think I want to be like this?

• 52:12Speaker 02

  I've ever heard in my life. I've met a lot of great people.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  Do you think I want to be like this? I don't, no, I want to be somebody's husband for sure. I think probably.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  But would you live in different house? See, we don't have to do, you and me.

• 52:23Speaker 01

  I think that's such a cop out.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  But I feel like we, like there's, you can do things in a more modern way. I just, I feel like when I say that to people, they think I mean like anti-vax. No.

• 52:33Speaker 01

  That doesn't inspire. I have so many gay guy friends that are doing it in a modern way. And I'm like, you're just.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  They're open?

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I've been open and guess what?

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  I don't think it was a good idea.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Because you heard their feelings?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Because no, I'm fucking other people all the time and thinking about it all the time and doing it all the time. And I want to, I need to lock in. I need to lock in. I think I need to be traditional for once.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  I, if God is real and God is love, I need to come back as a tall, funny gay guy. There is nothing, that is the pinnacle of life. That is like top living. That like, there is nothing. If Vince Vaughn was gay, he'd be torn limb from limb, like in World War Z.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  Like that.

• 53:14Speaker 01

  That's really true.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  But he's straight and conservative. It's like the biggest heartbreak of my life.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Tiffy, you're a beautiful, funny woman. Do you not think that's like?

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Well, there's the pay, the pay gap and like.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  The pay gap? Is that happening to you?

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Are you experiencing the pay gap?

• 53:30Speaker 02

  I need to come back as a tall gay guy. Oh my God.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  Are you experiencing the pay gap?

• 53:34Speaker 02

  I, in fact, many of us are here in this room.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Not in this room. These people get paid too much for what they do. No, I'm just kidding.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Well, somebody has to, she probably runs behind you on the city bike, making sure you get home. Okay.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  Michelle? No, she won't city bike with me.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  No, she walks.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  She went city bike with me last night.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  What?

• 53:50Speaker 01

  She went city bike with me last night.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Have you before city biked with him? How much can a girl city bike with her boss?

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Michelle doesn't think of me as her boss.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  She thinks of me as family.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Michelle actually did yesterday. Michelle actually did yesterday say, start, start saying something that I won't repeat, but I go, hey, just remember this is a working relationship. And she goes, sometimes I forget.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Sometimes I forget.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  That means the world to me.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Well, my assistant friend, I'm like, did I have a meeting today? And she'll go, fuck.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Girl, we can't both be forgetting.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Shit. Ah, you did. Yeah, you did.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  That's so funny. I hate the pay gap. I fucking hate the pay gap.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  So being a woman, I would love to trade places with you for like a year. I don't know if I could handle it. I don't know if I could handle being you.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  Can I say something earnest?

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  And just like stop the jokes for a second?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  I fucking hate sexism. I fucking hate, stop. I fucking hate the pay gap. I hate what you go through as a beautiful woman.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  I would do anything to make you equal to me as a man, a boy, or whatever, however you view me.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  As a friend.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Hold on, hold on. I hate sexism. I wish that you got paid the same as guys. I would give anything, I would give anything if, if, if someone, if God came to me right now and said, I'm going to take your life and you're going to come with me to heaven now, but all women are going to be treated good. I would, I would get my wings that day.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  I love that. My brother makes those videos and then in his caption, he goes, I'm 6'5" by the way.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he's real as fuck. What's his deal?

• 55:22Speaker 02

  What's his deal?

• 55:22Speaker 01

  He's straight. He's 6'5".

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he's dating, he's dating the coolest girl I've ever met. She's a tattoo artist. Like what else do you want?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  That's cool as fuck.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  So fucking cool. Every time I see her, I get nervous. I'm like.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  I wish you had a gay brother.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  I would give anything.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  If you had a gay guy brother.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  I have a gay sister.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  Well, what does that mean to me?

• 55:38Speaker 02

  I know. It's so sad.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  Oh, great. Another fan.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  Oh, awesome. Another ticket holder.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  You see somebody make eye contact with you, go, I know, I know. Come on.

• 55:53Speaker 01

  I know. Get over here. I saw it.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  One time somebody came up to me and they said, are you Tiffy? And I go, oh my God, yeah. And I was like, it, it, I must've been doing this for like a year and I was so excited and I was like, oh my God, do you want to take a picture together or something? And they said, no, I work with your mom.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Top 25.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  No, I would never want a picture with you. No, absolutely not.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  No, I work with your mom.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  It is embarrassing when you get in a cadence, like you've been in a rhythm, like you've been maybe, like there'll be a day where you've been approached a couple of times and it's been this. So you just get in the rhythm of, like, I sometimes will be in public and someone will say my name. They'll be like Caleb, and I'll turn him, I'll turn and like have like talking to a fan energy and it'll be a very close friend.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  It'll be true.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  And we both feel what I was doing. You know what I mean? I'll be like, oh, sorry. I'm in a bit of a mode today. That's humiliating.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  Where do you get, where do you, where do you feel? Like me walking down, I feel like anywhere there's like Gen Z girls, it's like I have to, I'm like.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Head on the swivel.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Like can't pick my, can't pick my nose. You know what I mean? Like West Village, East Village.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 02

  The villages.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  That's happening for you in the villages?

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Where do you feel like the most people who follow you like, besides Cubby Hole, but.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Cubby Hole, Genders.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Bush.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Bush, the woods.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  On a, on a Wednesday.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  On a Wednesday. Fuck dude. Fuck dude. Uh, well, I don't know. You know, wherever, wherever there's, wherever there's little gay people at, or straight guys.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  And you know, they also, like gay people also suffer a lot, like with the pay gap and work and stuff, you know?

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Gay people suffer?

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, they do.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  Gay people suffer with a pay gap?

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. And injustices.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Get, maybe not gay men. Gay men are, gay men all have jobs where they make $375,000 a year. They do nothing. They're always on vacation.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  I would do, I would give you both thumbs if you could turn me into a gay, tall, funny man right now.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  I, I wouldn't be able to snap my fingers, but with the right surgeons and a couple of.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  They're gone, so I can't either.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  I would do anything. I mean, if you want to be a boy, we could make that happen. You could be a gay man.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  And that's true. You got me there. And that would be my right.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  And I could do that and I.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  And I could do that. And it'd be, and it'd be okay.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't have any malice in my heart. Who do you think I have malice in my heart for? Be honest. What peoples? What groups? What have you seen?

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Donald Trump?

• 58:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  My God, I voted for the guy. A couple of times. No, I don't have malice for him. I think he's a complicated figure. Sure. I wish he'd ease off some of the, there's some stuff he does I don't like, but.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Is Melania just an icon, style icon, fashion icon?

• 58:29Speaker 01

  Melania? I will say.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  She's not not sickening from time to time. And by the way, when they, when they were dragging her like brutalist, crazy horror Christmas decorations, I was like.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  That was Paranormal Activity's set.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  I loved it.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  You loved it?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  I thought it was hilarious. I do think there's something funny about it. Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  She's like, this Christmas, I can't, is it okay to mimic Russian people? I don't know. I've been, I'm beginning to get to internet. It's like, Christmas this, Christmas that, children, people come.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  This is good.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. Hello, hello.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Eastern European is safe.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  Right?

• 59:01Speaker 01

  There are some accents we can do.

• 59:02Speaker 02

  They've been through so much. You know, sometimes I'm like, is it fair for me, for me to even attempt?

• 59:06Speaker 01

  I think you can do as many accents as you want. I think you can get away with a lot.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  This Christmas, everybody's obsessed with this Christmas. I love that quote of hers.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  It's a beautiful quote. It's one of our best first lady quotes.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  What's your second, what's your second first lady quote that you just love?

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Oh, gotta be Hillary Clinton.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Okay, saying?

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh, when she says, um, when she says, um, Pokemon go to the polls.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Pokemon go to the polls gotta be one of my biggest ones, right? That's a good one. Or Eleanor Roosevelt, when she said, "I came here to chew gum and eat pussy and I'm all out of gum."

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that one.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  That one was good.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  That one was really good.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Right, guys?

• 59:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm, yeah.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  So, those are good ones. Who's your favorite president, US president?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Barack Obama.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Barack Obama?

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  You know.

• 1:00:18Speaker 01

  Okay. Okay.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  I hate that you could see me doing like, but if she ran out of gum.

• 1:00:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do the math. Do the math. I, that was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, "I came here to chew gum and eat pussy and I'm all out of gum."

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  Can you please make that the title of this episode? I would give anything.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Tiffy came here to chew gum and eat pussy.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  And she's all out of gum.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Maybe a touch too long.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Panic at the Disco song?

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Tiffy, exclamation point, "came here to chew gum and eat pussy," parentheses, "and she's all out of gum," close parentheses.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Period.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  That's really hot. That's extremely hot. Straight men, I try, I was saying this earlier a little bit, like, straight men, I don't know what they see in me, but they come around.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  I know what they see in you.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  I love your shit, dude. I go, okay, sounds good.

• 1:01:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, you dap them up.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Get out of here, of course I do.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  My god, you are like the mayor.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  If you don't, they might shoot somebody.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  It's true. You are always thinking about people's safety and what's best for other people. And that's why you have this career, because you are a people pleaser. At the end of the day, everything you do is for others.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  That's how everyone would describe me.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, everybody in the world.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  I think everybody in my life would describe me as a people pleaser.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  You think it's easy being him? Everything he does is for everybody else. He never puts himself first.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Keep going, keep going, clip this.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  He never ever says, "Oh, this is what I want to do." He goes, "No, this is what they need from me. This is what women need from me."

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Keep going.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  "Straight guys need from me. It's always you, never him."

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Keep going. We're gonna clip this. That's all you had to say.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  And I just think it makes me really sad that no one's ever like, "What about Caleb?" And Caleb's always like, "What about y'all?" Ask not what Caleb can do for you, but what you can do for Caleb.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  That'd actually be an incredible Grindr bio.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  Wait, gorge.

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  That'd be an incredible Grindr bio.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Is your Grindr just popping?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  You know, here's what I'll say.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Popping with the G? Yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Popping.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  Is it popping?

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Is it popping?

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Here's what I'll say about my Grindr.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Yes. It is popping. But is it popping, is it popping with, like, 80% of people that I don't necessarily want to sleep with? Yes. Are there a lot of messages about my podcast? Yes. Am I ignoring most of them? Yes.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Well, that's, that's just very weird to me when people hit on you and then they, they, they immediately act like a fan.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  There's a, there's a cool way to do it. And many people are not in touch with that, yeah.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  It's to say it after.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Or you can say it before, but like, let's move on. You know what I mean? Be like, be like, "I'm a huge fan, but anyway, what are you doing?" Like, just, you can get out of the way if you feel like you need to.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Huge fan also, pre-hookup is crazy.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  It's gonna work for me.

• 1:02:57Speaker 02

  You're like, go on.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  It's gonna work for me. Don't mime jerking off, Tiffy.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  That was really, really scary to me.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  I would never do that.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  That's really scary to me.

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  That doesn't sound like me at all.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  That sounds like you, girl.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  With the Beyonce hand? No.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  You remembering the hand is, is so funny. You, when you end the story, you're like, "With this hand."

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  Well, I had both of them like this.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Of course. And I knew that.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  Cause she's all that's.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  She's fucking brilliant. What's your favorite Beyonce song of all time?

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  My favorite Beyonce song is Upgrade You.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Is what?

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  Upgrade You.

• 1:03:26Speaker 01

  Good one.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  And you?

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  Party.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  That's a fucking good one.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  Where she, she films a video and she says, "Oh, I look like I can cook." Is that what it is?

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  I don't know the video, I'm so sorry.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  I'm not as big, I love Beyonce, I'm not as big of a fan as you, and I, I knew that a long time ago.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  What do you do at Gay Afters? Do you watch YouTube videos with your friends?

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  What do I do at Gay Afters?

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  Okay, sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  I'm not going to Gay Afters. You think I'm at Gay Afters? You're, you're at Gay Afters. I'm at home. I want to be home cuddled up with Shannon, watching fucking Real Housewives or something that she likes.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  She fucking loves that, but she says Real Housewives is only a daytime show, not for nighttime. It's like one of her biggest things.

• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  Really funny, I've never seen an episode. I just assumed that's something that she would like to watch.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Caleb, there's a world out there for you.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  I'm not interested. I don't like that kind of thing.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  What kind of thing?

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  Shouting at dinner.

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  I don't like when women are cruel to each other. And I don't like shouting at dinner. You're ruining dinner over one of your interpersonal conflicts. Let's have a nice dinner.

• 1:04:24Speaker 02

  You would fucking love that shit.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Real Housewives?

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  The one-liners in that show are some, you couldn't, you couldn't write that. You couldn't write that. You would love it.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  You couldn't write that.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  Because it's unusable.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  Tiffy, do you want to play a game with me or not?

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love it. I think we have about like 15 minutes worth of stuff we can use, right? Yeah, at least.

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  I think we have almost a fourth of an episode so far. Kidding, of course. Tiffy, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. If you get 10 or more correct.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  10 or more?

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  We're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Okay, let's do it.

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  Okay. And I might introduce some new tricks in this one.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Who knows?

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  AirPods came out in 2014.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  False.

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  It is false. Do you know what year?

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Um, 20, 2019.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  2016.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  There are more Subways than Starbucks in the US.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  False.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  True. Minneapolis is the capital of Minnesota.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  False at St. Paul.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  The Empire Strikes Back won zero Academy Awards.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  False.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  False, too. The Academy of Arts and Minds motto was "Home of the Stars."

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  Is that my high school?

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  True?

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  I don't, I only went there for like a year. I got kicked, I, I got, I got in trouble.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  What's your answer?

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Um, "Home of the Stars." I do, we did have stars on our uniform, so I'm gonna say true. It's false? Home of the what?

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  What's your final answer?

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  My, okay, my final answer is the Academy of Arts and Minds slogan. What is it?

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  Uh, "Home of the Stars."

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  "Home of the Stars," true.

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  It is true.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  I really tried to get you on that one. The US Air Force was created after World War II.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Say that again?

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  The US Air Force was created after World War II.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:06:32Speaker 01

  True. Jersey Shore premiered in 2008.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  False.

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  False, 2009. The square root of 289 is 14.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Just think, let's just think about this.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  Could you say it one more time? I'm just spitting.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  The square root of 289 is 14.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  And if she came here to chew gum and eat pussy, she ran out of gum.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  Tiffy, answer.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  False, 17. Motorola is the oldest mobile phone company.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  True. Barry University's mascot is Bucky the Seagull.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  False, it's Bucky the Parrot. The North Pole has the second highest penguin population.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Is the Galapagos the first? Sorry, false.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  False, there's no penguins there. Yellowstone has four spin-off series.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  Yellowstone? Four? True.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  True. Infinity is not a real number.

• 1:07:31Speaker 02

  The number does not exist. True, it's not a real number. Okay, that's for me, girls.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Martin Luther King Jr. paid the bill for Julia Roberts's birth.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King did pay, yeah, for, for Julia Roberts's mom. Like, that hospital bill, not for Julia Roberts's birthing of her daughter, because he, let me say, let me just go with true.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  There have been four seasons of Love Island, France.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  Blink once. My job.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  Tiffy, Tiffy, answer.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  It's false.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  False, only two. How'd she do? 12!

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god! You can keep that and donate it to.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  One of the better true-false we've had in a minute.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  12's a high, high number.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  What's the lowest you've ever gotten?

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Oh, boy, bad. Like, I, I don't even remember. Like, five, four?

• 1:08:25Speaker 04

  I think we had a three.

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Did we have a three? Yeah, it's not good. It's not good.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  That was good.

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Chance writes these things to hurt and upset people.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  But I don't want the $50. I wouldn't take money from you.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  You're getting it. You're getting it. I'm kidding, no one ever gets it.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  We're gonna pay you, we're just not gonna pay you that.

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  Okay, amazing, amazing.

• 1:08:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, but don't worry, you get paid for being on here.

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  You're so welcome. It's a thrill to have you.

• 1:08:44Speaker 02

  I would've done it for free.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  I know you would've. Everyone will. Everyone will do podcasts for free, we've learned. But we pay. Uh, Tiffy, is there anything that we didn't get to that you're just dying to talk about? Do you want to tell people where they can find you, et cetera?

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  I'm on the internet. And, uh, hello, Tiffy. I hate doing that. It feels like.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  It's good, it's good.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  It feels like I'm a whore.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  It's good, we are.

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  We are.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  We are whores.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  You can find me at hello Tiffy on all platforms.

• 1:09:10Speaker 01

  Tiffy, no, Tiffy! Tiffy, thank you so much for doing it, we love you.

• 1:09:15Speaker 00

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