652 Jesse Itzler on Building a Healthy, Wealthy, Wise Life

“I LEARN BEST BY JUMPING INTO THE UNKNOWN.” There’s one resource in this world we all take for granted: time. We’re only on this planet for a small amount of time, and we tend to build routines in our lives that makes the days roll by. The next thing we know, we look in the mirror and we’re 70. When you look at that face do you want to see a life of missed opportunities or one filled with experiences you are proud of? If you want the latter, you need to make sure you schedule time for you. Take the time to build your life resume, because that’s what makes our lives much more interesting. When you talk about someone, do you talk about how they clock in to work on time everyday at 9 am and work late hours? Or do you talk about the places they’ve been to, and the experiences they’ve had? On this episode of The School of Greatness, I bring you back someone who has decided to build their life’s resume: Jesse Itzler. Importance of taking advantage of time. Routine make life fly by. Make time for yourself - building life resume instead of business resume. Jesse enjoys living life "out of the box." In fact, he doesn't even have a box. The author of the New York Times bestseller, Living with a Seal, co founded Marquis Jet, the world's largest private jet card company which he and his partner sold to Berkshire Hathaway/NetJets. Jesse then partnered with Zico coconut water, which he and his partner sold to The Coca-Cola Company. He’s also the kind of person that when he wants something he grabs onto the opportunity without delay. He recently decided he needed to detox his mind from electronics and the constant multitasking of today’s world. He ended up living with monks, living in a room as small as a table, and unable to communicate with his family, just to find himself. The lessons he learned most were about the need to make time for yourself and the people around you that you care most about. In the end, that’s where you’ll have the most impact and where your true legacy will come from. Learn more lessons from Jesse’s isolation and time with the monks, on Episode 652. Some Questions I Ask: How was your 15 day digital detox? (8:45) What are you not waiting for? (20:09) If you could go back 20 years, what would you eliminate or add to your life? (21:41) Do you still take 3 hours for yourself every day? (24:44) What do you think you can learn from pain? (29:14) What did the monks teach you about overcoming personal challenges? (32:52) What did the master’s say (about death)? (36:34) Have you and your wife ever struggled with competing with one another? (44:47) Do you ever have a fear that your kids are a little soft? (47:04) What are the things you’ve learned from your time in your monks you didn’t know before? (48:13) In This Episode You Will Learn: When he had the idea to live with monks (10:50) What Jesse didn’t miss during his time away (14:51) How Jesse worked in the music business (17:07) The Kevin Rule (22:28) When Jesse started living this type of life (27:37) The biggest personal challenge he’s faced (30:29) Why death kept coming up in Jesse’s mind (34:40) How he maintains the spark of sexual desire and dynamic of business in his relationship (41:26) The greatest lessons his kids have taught him (45:40) Plus much, much more... Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 652 with New York Times bestselling author Jesse Itzler.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Leo Christopher said, "There's only one thing more precious than our time, and that's who we spend it on." I am excited about this episode because I learned so much. I really dove in and asked Jesse about reflecting back on his life. Now, almost 50 years old, what are some things he would do in his business and his relationships differently if he was 35 years old? My age right now. Really leaned in on some of the perspectives he learned over this last year and so many things he's been up to. And if you don't know who he is, he's an author of a New York Times bestseller called "Living with a Seal",

• 1:11Lewis Howes?

  where he had this extreme Navy SEAL live with him, his kids, and his wife for a period of time in his home, and train him to have a tougher mentality. And this is a guy who's already in extreme mentality. He co-founded Marquis Jets, the world's largest private jet card company, which he and his partner then sold to Berkshire Hathaway and NetJets. Jesse then partnered with Zico Coconut Water, a water that I love, which he and his partner then sold to Coca-Cola. He's an owner of NBA's Atlanta Hawks with his wife Sarah. And his new book is called "Living with the Monks." It's out right now.

• 1:51Lewis Howes?

  And it chronicles his 15-day stay with Russian Orthodox monks in a monastery in New York. And in this episode, we really dive into what made Jesse rethink about his entire relationship with time and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now hitting 50. How much time each day you should be setting aside for yourself, because there's a lot of people that don't give themselves any time. And there's other people that only do things for themselves. We talk about that. We talk about a new definition of happiness and how sometimes suffering can support happiness. Also, what Jesse learned living with monks for these two weeks and how he and Sarah have

• 2:32Lewis Howes?

  created such a strong marriage. Sarah Blakely, his wife, who's been on the podcast as well. And as always, make sure to share this with your friends. Tag me, Lewis Howes on Instagram, tag Jesse Itzler, and the link for this is lewishouse.com/652 to watch the full video and share it with your friends on Twitter, Instagram, social media. Want to give a shout out to our Fan of the Week. We've had so many incredible fans reach out lately and share about their stories, their success stories about how the podcast has changed their life, had impacted them, had helped them lose weight, find the relationship of their dreams, live more purposeful, fulfilling lifestyles. And this one's from Tori Lee, who says, "Lewis, they say you can become similar to the five people you spend the

• 3:16Lewis Howes?

  most time with. I have been at a point in my life where inspirational and enlightening influencers are lacking. I love this podcast and listen every day, hoping that I become more and more like the many people you bring on the show. Thank you. P.S. I think it would be great if you could gather quotes from every single person that you had on this podcast, speaking their three truths, and make a book out of it." So Tori Lee, thank you so much for being the Fan of the Week and for sharing. And we are working on that, actually. Working on collecting the three truths of everyone that we've asked the question to and creating a little book out of that. If you'd be interested

• 3:56Lewis Howes?

  in getting an early copy, just send me a DM on Instagram, again, @lewishouse, and let us know if you'd want to preorder an early copy, because I'm curious to see how many people are interested in this little book. As always, if you haven't left a review yet, you can go over to iTunes right now, leave a review, go on your podcast app on your phone, leave a review. Takes a couple of seconds, and it helps us get the word out there. All right, guys, I'm excited about this one. It's all about understanding how to have a better, richer, more fulfilling, and meaningful life. Let's dive in with the one and only Jesse Itzler.

• 4:37Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone back to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got the legendary Jesse Itzler in the house.

• 4:43Jesse Itzler?

  Oh man, thank you.

• 4:44Lewis Howes?

  It's good to see you back again. You've got a new book called Living with the Monks. What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me About Happiness, Gratitude, and Focus. Make sure you guys check it out. And you got me up on the top of the cover, which is pretty cool. So make sure you guys support our friend Jesse and check this out because I think it's really powerful. I did a digital detox two years ago where I went to Hawaii, left my phone in LA and freaked out the first day and a half because I didn't know how to, I didn't have directions to go anywhere. I went old school, 1999, pre-cell phone, and had to go to the gas station and ask for directions and had to just be at peace in the ocean.

• 5:24Lewis Howes?

  And about day three, it was beautiful because I didn't think about going back on the beach and being like, where's my phone? I needed to check something. I could just be at peace. And it was unbelievable because for 15 years, I realized I had my phone on me every single day.

• 5:40Jesse Itzler?

  Sure.

• 5:40Lewis Howes?

  Until that moment. And now I do this every year. I try to do it every six months. I went to Hawaii again a couple of months ago, left my phone here. Again, beautiful experience. Now you did this for what, 15 days?

• 5:51Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, what I love about this, I love the setup.

• 5:54Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 5:55Jesse Itzler?

  I love that you went to Hawaii.

• 5:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Jesse Itzler?

  Beautiful beach, ocean. I was in the middle of nowhere in the woods.

• 6:02Lewis Howes?

  I know, I saw you had like a crappy little bathroom.

• 6:05Jesse Itzler?

  No, but same, same thing. I mean, it was so hard for me at first just to separate and just to be away from everything. It was just, change is different in general for anybody. And, uh, but change without technology and change with family and being away from that is, um, and plus change in the wilderness is not easy.

• 6:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, because you have four kids. You didn't talk to anyone during that time, right?

• 6:27Jesse Itzler?

  No, I spoke to my wife once, like a check-in from a landline.

• 6:31Lewis Howes?

  10 minute like, hey.

• 6:32Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah.

• 6:33Lewis Howes?

  I'm losing my mind. Is everything okay?

• 6:35Jesse Itzler?

  Yes, exactly.

• 6:36Lewis Howes?

  But she knows you're crazy and she knows you do these experiments. What did you think you were going to learn going into this experiment?

• 6:42Jesse Itzler?

  Well, first of all, I've spent so much of my life exploring the physical side. You know, I've ran a hundred mile race, I've done ultra paddleboard races, I've done marathons, and I love that. I learned a lot from those kind of things. But I've completely neglected the inner work. And I just felt super distracted, a little bit overwhelmed, four kids, wife, work, just like everybody else. And I just said like, well, who are the masters? Like, who would be the best person or persons to talk about like just self-reflection and just... And it was monks. And I didn't know anything about monk culture, I didn't know anything other than like watching a couple of movies and reading a couple of blogs about the monk world. So I just said to my wife, I think I'm gonna go live on a monastery.

• 7:27Jesse Itzler?

  And um, her immediate reaction was like, listen to Lewis. Like, there are podcasts for this shit, man. You know, you don't have to go away to a monastery. But um, I learned best without question by jumping into the unknown. Like, that's the best teaching tool for me. And it's always been the way that I've gotten the most like growth. And I was like, man, I'm just gonna go. And um, I put the plan in motion pretty quickly.

• 7:53Lewis Howes?

  When did you have the idea? And then when did you go? Was it like within a couple of months, a couple of weeks?

• 7:57Jesse Itzler?

  It was fast.

• 7:58Lewis Howes?

  You had an idea, you asked, you told her about it.

• 8:01Jesse Itzler?

  Otherwise, otherwise I'm gonna talk myself out of it.

• 8:03Lewis Howes?

  You will, yeah.

• 8:03Jesse Itzler?

  So, ready, fire, aim. Ready, fire, aim. And that's the difference, like, I'm in a relationship, my wife is a processor. Everything gets analyzed and processed and thought out. What are the pros? There's a pro sheet, there's a con sheet, what are the consequences? And I'm in, I'm in her.

• 8:21Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 8:22Jesse Itzler?

  I'm in. Lewis, where are we going?

• 8:25Lewis Howes?

  And you're gonna learn something good.

• 8:26Jesse Itzler?

  I'm in.

• 8:27Lewis Howes?

  Something good's gonna happen, there's gonna be a consequence, but it's gonna be a great experience.

• 8:30Jesse Itzler?

  Right. So it was about a month, I would say.

• 8:33Lewis Howes?

  A month, yeah, you were in, gosh, and you were there. You already knew where you wanted to go, or you started researching?

• 8:38Jesse Itzler?

  I knew that, Living with a SEAL, I had a book, you know, about living with my...

• 8:42Lewis Howes?

  New York Times bestseller?

• 8:43Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, about living with a Navy SEAL that moved in with my family. So I knew I wanted to write a book about this journey, if it was suited for that. So I called my publisher, and she happened to know of this monastery. That's how I got to the monastery. And that started the journey.

• 8:57Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, there you go. And it was close enough to you, it was in the States, so you didn't have to go to like... Grand Tetons or some other place in another country or something was close to you in Atlanta, near Atlanta, on the east coast at least. I went to India a year and a half ago as well. After I did this digital detox, I said, I want to explore more. So I went to India and essentially lived with monks for, but I had like a nice, you know, a nice bed, a nice place. It wasn't like I was living in the ground. But it was training 15 hours a day on the mind and the inner work, meditation. And it was for two weeks. The first week was learning meditation. The second week was learning how to teach meditation to other people. And I had some incredible experiences and it was the most profound peace I'd found with that type of work.

• 9:42Lewis Howes?

  So I know that this works when you do it. Did you, and I saw your before and after photos. I think you sent it to me or you posted it online. I was like, man, you look so clear and calm. What was the greatest lesson you learned about yourself through the process?

• 9:56Jesse Itzler?

  I was very clear and calm. It took me a while to get to that place because when I first got there, literally the first minute I walked in, I took a quick tour. And the main monk, like my grand poobah, brother Christopher, said to me, tomorrow, we're going to start at 7:15 a.m. with prayer, reflection and meditation. And I was like, great. It's 6:05 p.m. What do I do for the next 13 hours? And he looked at me dead in the eye and he said, you think? And I was sitting in the room, the size of this desk, basically. And I said, okay, I'm going to try to meditate. I'm not a big meditator. My form of meditation has been running.

• 10:35Lewis Howes?

  Working out.

• 10:36Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, like that's like my alone time, no, you know. So I set my timer for 20 minutes and I'm like, let me try to focus on my mantra. And I'm going through my routine and I'm getting bombarded with thoughts. Like the worst shit is coming into my head like,

• 10:49Lewis Howes?

  Why am I here?

• 10:49Jesse Itzler?

  Why am I here? What if something happens to my wife? My kids aren't, you know, all this stuff. And time is going by and I'm like, why hasn't my timer beeped? You know, I've been at this. So I'm like, well, maybe I didn't set it. Let me reset it. I'm like, no, I don't want to cheat. It's going to happen any minute. So I go back into my mantra and back into my mantra. And after it felt like forever, I'm like, I didn't, and start the timer. So I go to reset my timer and I look down, 3 minutes and 27 seconds. And I'm like, whoa, I am that distracted that I can't even like, Sit quietly for three minutes like I'm that overwhelmed and distracted. And I realized that like I'm here for fifteen days. Like I'm [BLEEP].

• 11:33Jesse Itzler?

  You know, like I'm like this is like I'm, what am I gonna do? And I couldn't call my wife and be like, what are you doing right now? There was, I had to work it out in my own head. That was hard and I'm, one of the other really big takeaways for me was like. So that was one that you were really distracted. That was a lesson you learned. Really distracted. I realized, you know, when I came home, everybody asked me what I missed the most, but nobody asked me what I didn't miss. And I realized that a lot of things that I didn't miss filled up my calendar. So. For instance. I went during the final, during March Madness. And I'm, I've grown up watching March Madness and filling out the brackets and watching all the games. I didn't miss that at all.

• 12:16Jesse Itzler?

  I didn't miss going and searching through Netflix, the thousands of films that I could maybe watch and short circuiting because it's just too much. Like I didn't miss a lot of stuff that I do every day. And I realized that I'm putting a lot, like I realized that I wanna, we were just talking about this before the podcast started. I'm turning fifty. The average American lives to be seventy-eight years old. Here we go, all the research. Here we go. If I'm average, I got twenty-eight years left. If I'm average, I hope I'm not. But you're vegan, you work out, yeah. But if you reverse engineer that. If you reverse engineer the, those, the next thirty years. Like I just climbed Mount Washington. There were no sixty or seven-year-old guys on top of Mount Washington.

• 12:57Jesse Itzler?

  The relevant years you have to do things that you wanna do. Like it's limited. So my enemy is the clock. And I realized, man, I just gotta live with so much urgency. And to put as much stuff of the things that I love to do, with the people that I love to do them with on my plate. And that's like, as soon as I got home, I'm like, I'm a limit, I'm saying go to everything. Unless it moves the buckets in my family life, wellness, finances, or cause related. Like otherwise, of course, I'm gonna have some stuff on my, but the majority of my plate, I wanna fill it up with that stuff. Eighty, ninety percent needs to be filled up with that. Yeah. Is what you're saying.

• 13:39Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, and I've been very lucky to live my life a lot like that, but certainly the next thirty years, fifty to eighty, like that, I mean, man, it's spooky. I feel thirty-two, but there's a reality on, I look at it every day when I pull my driver's license out to get on a plane, or I look at my, like, I'm turning fifty, man. I start to reverse engineer how I wanna live those days. And I talk about it in the book. I got this lesson early on in life, but I didn't, I appreciated it, but I appreciated it a lot more. When I first started out in the music business, I was writing theme songs for professional sports teams. We've spoken about this, and, but I had no money. I had like a hundred dollars in my bank account, and I needed money to write demos, to create

• 14:23Jesse Itzler?

  these demos, to present them, because everything was on spec. Yeah. Do you like it? Buy it. Not like, it wasn't like, hey, I wanna write you this theme song, will you give me ten grand so I can go in the studio? You had to make it. You had to make it. Deliver the product, yeah. And then if they liked it, they would buy it. But I had no money to make it. So I went to this music manager, and he said, I'll lend you the ten thousand dollars you need to make four or five of these demos, but I want ten percent for that, I want ten percent of you forever. Forever. Forever, like, I'm investing in you, I'm giving you the ten grand, I don't know where this is gonna go. And I was like, I'll do it. I'm twenty-one years old, ten percent of me, like, ten thousand dollars, there wasn't nothing without this money. Yeah.

• 15:06Jesse Itzler?

  But before I finalized the deal, I went and talked to my friend's father, who was a big business mogul. And I went to his apartment, he had this Mac Daddy apartment, and, I mean, mogul in the true sense of the word mogul. Mm-hmm. Owned parking garages all over New York, owned a piece of the Yankees, a piece of the New Jersey Nets at the time. True mogul and philanthropist. I go to his apartment, I'm twenty-one years old, he has all this fancy artwork up, he has his own swimming pool, and, I mean, it's just mind-blowing, the wealth. And I start to tell him the story, and he stops me. He says, Jesse, I will trade every single thing I have for the one thing that you have.

• 15:51Jesse Itzler?

  And I'm like, me?

• 15:53Lewis Howes?

  What's that?

• 15:54Jesse Itzler?

  I have a hundred and twenty-eight, yes.

• 15:55Lewis Howes?

  Youth.

• 15:56Jesse Itzler?

  Youth.

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:57Jesse Itzler?

  Youth and the process, the journey of going through the unknown.

• 16:03Lewis Howes?

  The struggle, the uncertainty, everything.

• 16:05Jesse Itzler?

  The wins, the losses, just the whole thing.

• 16:07Lewis Howes?

  He would give up everything to go back to that.

• 16:10Jesse Itzler?

  To go back to that. And I've been really aware of that, like that, here I am thirty years later, still talking about that.

• 16:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:17Jesse Itzler?

  And, um, but now, more so now, I don't want to get to be seventy and eighty and have that thought in my head. Like, I want to live my life with that kind of urgency and fill up my plate so I don't have that regret that like, because when you're in a routine, time goes really fast. And then you wake up and you're seventy and you're like, I can't climb the mountain, I'm seventy. When you get out of the, out of your routine, like at the monastery, and you look at the thing and it's three minutes and twenty-seven seconds, time slows down. I want to stop the clock, man, I got four kids. So my relationship with time in general was reestablished at the monastery.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 16:59Jesse Itzler?

  Definitely.

• 17:00Lewis Howes?

  By eliminating the things that no longer support or serve your vision for your life and focusing on the things that do.

• 17:06Jesse Itzler?

  And not waiting.

• 17:09Lewis Howes?

  Not waiting for what?

• 17:10Jesse Itzler?

  So like I climbed Mount Washington, I didn't, didn't get to the summit with five friends and I came back. And Mount Washington is a really dangerous mountain in the winter. I think it's one of the ten most dangerous mountains because of the climate, it's cold, like minus thirty, and the winds get up to fifty to seventy-five miles an hour and no visibility, blah, blah. Because of that, I didn't get to the top of this journey I did with five of my close friends. I came back and I'm talking to my wife about it and because I posted it on Facebook, I was getting bombarded with, you didn't make it? You could, six miles to the, you couldn't get? And I said to Sarah, I failed. And, you know, I felt terrible. I let my friends down, we put it out there and she said, no, no, no, sweetie, she said,

• 17:55Jesse Itzler?

  first of all, you numbskull, get a tour guide.

• 17:59Lewis Howes?

  Right, don't do it on here.

• 18:00Jesse Itzler?

  Get proper equipment and train for it and go back next year, next winter, and knock it out. And I was like, next winter? I'm going back on Saturday.

• 18:11Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:12Jesse Itzler?

  That's the urgency because there's no guarantee what next winter is gonna do. We could talk about all of our vision, my thing would be like, well, do it now. You have a five-year plan? That takes too long, man.

• 18:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it does.

• 18:24Jesse Itzler?

  It takes too long.

• 18:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:26Jesse Itzler?

  So that's what I mean about my relationship with time. It's like, yes, I eliminated a lot of the things that were no's, but I also created a tremendous amount of urgency. I started to look at my enemy, my greatest enemy, other than keeping my health. I mean, we all wanna, is the clock.

• 18:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. If you could go back 15 to 20 years, my age, or five years earlier, when you're 30, 35, what would you eliminate and what would you add into your life?

• 18:56Jesse Itzler?

  I would act like I'm not gonna live till 80. I would just, I wouldn't put off the trip to Hawaii. I mean, you're doing it. You're going to live with monks, you're traveling to Hawaii, you have a business. I mean, you have good balance. I mean, you've kind of cracked, you have a short commute to work.

• 19:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 19:13Jesse Itzler?

  You've kind of cracked a lot of the things that many struggle with, sitting in traffic in their commute, bad relationships, struggling with health issues and finances. You've been able to eliminate a lot of that at a really early age. But I would just say, you know, my suggestion would be to put, just to put it in an analogy again, I met, a good friend of mine has this rule, I call it the Kevin rule. Every five, every year, I asked him how he lives his life because he's one of the happiest guys that I know. And he's a police officer. He told me that every year, he takes a trip with his college friends. He's been doing it since he's 21 years old, one time a year.

• 19:54Jesse Itzler?

  And then every other month, one weekend, he goes away and puts something on his calendar that he circles. He's gonna run a marathon, he's gonna go to the beach, whatever. I call it the Kevin rule. I said to myself, and this is what I would say to my 35-year-old self, especially at 35, and I'll show you why. If I can't take a weekend every other month to put something on the calendar for myself.

• 20:19Jesse Itzler?

  If I can't do that, my life is really out of balance. Because if I do live to eighty, and I put five of those on the calendar a year, right? That would be a hundred and fifty memories that I'm creating and moments that I'm creating. If you do it at thirty-five years old, then you have another seventy-five memories. You have over two hundred memories that you're creating. But if you don't do it, think of the loss. No, seriously, I'm dead serious. Think of the loss. So that's how I look at it, man. I would like, take advantage of the opportunity that you have at this age and the people that you know to create amazing, to build your life resume. And sort of talk about it all the time, you know? It's like, you have the work resume, but so what?

• 21:04Jesse Itzler?

  That means nothing if you're not building up your life resume.

• 21:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:08Jesse Itzler?

  And those moments are the things... There's only two kinds of moments, man. Like, the moments that happen. Not the preach, but like the OJ Simpson. You remember during where OJ was when, during the chase. Or nine eleven, you know exactly where you can never forget that, but you didn't control that. Just happened. There are moments like that where you have no control over, that you just remember because they're so vivid.

• 21:29Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 21:30Jesse Itzler?

  And then you have the moments that you have control over, like the Kevin rule. That you, you know, that you circle, that you create, that you put in your position to happen. And that's, you know, kind of how you build this life resume. And that's what I would tell, that's what I hope my kids do. You know, I hope they have a life filled with memories.

• 21:49Lewis Howes?

  And you told me this on the last time on the podcast. I believe you said that you take three hours for yourself every day. Is that still true? Even with four kids and wife and businesses and travel and everything, you still take roughly three hours a day for just the things you want to do?

• 22:05Jesse Itzler?

  Not roughly.

• 22:06Lewis Howes?

  Three hours?

• 22:07Jesse Itzler?

  I mean, at least.

• 22:07Lewis Howes?

  Is that in the morning or is it just?

• 22:09Jesse Itzler?

  It's cumulative.

• 22:10Lewis Howes?

  Whatever, got it.

• 22:11Jesse Itzler?

  So it could be a forty-five minute walk in the morning. Twenty minute sauna, sit on the couch and do nothing but.

• 22:18Lewis Howes?

  Hang with friends, whatever.

• 22:19Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, but that's my time and when I'm in that zone, I'm not guilty that I'm not with my wife or kids or at work or anything. But the flip side is when I'm at work, because I've had that time, I'm not guilty that I'm not with, you know.

• 22:33Lewis Howes?

  You're not thinking about what you're gonna do on the weekend or whatever, yeah.

• 22:35Jesse Itzler?

  And the reason is, cause like if my wife or my employer or whoever took away the things that I like to do during the during the day, I resent them. I mean, I'd be so mad at Sarah if she said to me, you can't run. We gotta go do this or you gotta do, I'll do it, but allow me to do what I need to do for me.

• 22:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:54Jesse Itzler?

  That's 10% of the day, it's not.

• 22:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 22:56Jesse Itzler?

  I mean, I'm talking about like I'm taking 80% of the day for me.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:00Jesse Itzler?

  It's just a small piece of the pie chart of the day, but it's cumulative and I'm aware of it when I'm in that time.

• 23:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think it's really beautiful and that's stuck with me because if you don't have a couple hours a day for yourself, you don't have a life. It sounds like if you're not creating this life resume and circling things on the calendar every couple of months, for you to do that you're excited about, then you don't have a life either. If you're just running through the motions.

• 23:22Jesse Itzler?

  I think so. Well, I think it leads for, I think that the more interesting, the more experiences you have, the more you can offer.

• 23:30Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 23:31Jesse Itzler?

  The more experiences you have, the more you can offer. And I think by building this life resume, I think it can also help you land your dream job. You become more interesting. It can help you accelerate at the job that you're at. It's a lightning rod, people wanna talk about. Oh wait, I'm interested, I wanna interview you about your trip to Hawaii. Now you told me you went and lived with, you did meditation and lived with monks in a clarity, tell me, that's interesting to me. I'm already wanna take you out to dinner, I wanna talk about that and learn from that. And I mean, just from you saying that to me in one second. So imagine if you're sitting at the conference room at work, when everyone's going through the motions and you're like, no, for my vacation, I didn't go sit at the beach at the Hilton.

• 24:15Jesse Itzler?

  I went and I journeyed across blah blah blah and did this and blah blah. The what?

• 24:20Lewis Howes?

  Built schools with kids or something else, yeah.

• 24:22Jesse Itzler?

  Right, all the things that you're doing, so. You know, I'm not some wise old man, then I'm only, but I'm, but if I was gonna ask, tell my thirty-five-year-old son, Louis.

• 24:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 24:33Jesse Itzler?

  Which you're not, it's so funny.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  But you were doing that at thirty-five, weren't you? Weren't you living this type of life and?

• 24:40Jesse Itzler?

  I was, I'm very, I'm very lucky. My brother just said to me the other day, I was talking to him about my son, who, he asked me how my son, who's eight, is doing. It's swim season. And I said, you know, he's, he's a good swimmer, but he's, he just really doesn't have that eye of the tiger and that drive, you know? And my brother said, well, listen.

• 24:58Lewis Howes?

  You're like, how old is he?

• 24:59Jesse Itzler?

  He's eight, he's eight.

• 25:02Jesse Itzler?

  No, but I said to him, he said, well, listen, as long as he's happy, that's all that matters. And I thought about it, I said to him, Peter, my brother, I said, Pete, my son could sit on the couch, eat ice cream all day and play Minecraft and be very, very happy. It's not as long as he's happy. I mean, I want him to be happy. It's, is he getting experiences and is he living to his potential? I want him to be happy, but that's not like, that's a bullshit answer, man. Because happiness could be, it's like, you know what I mean? It's all in the same spirit of, of what we're talking about.

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting, I just interviewed James, the Iron Cowboy, and he talked about happiness for him is the ability to endure suffering. It's like the more that you can endure pain and suffering in a, in a safe container, right?

• 25:55Lewis Howes?

  The more you can take on life's adversities and challenges and not let everything affect you twenty-four seven. And you can have more happiness when you go through a struggle, is what his ideal of that was. I thought it was an interesting perspective. He's like, when you force pain upon yourself, this is a guy who did fifty Ironman triathlons in fifty days in fifty different states. And when you can force that, I believe that you can really overcome any challenge. And the day-to-day stresses don't overwhelm you as much. I don't know, what do you think of that?

• 26:24Jesse Itzler?

  I think you learn a lot, a lot from pain. I think that we're wired for comfort. And we seek comfort, we run away from pain. That's why you had a Navy SEAL live with you. Yeah, and I've gone through my share of pain. My pain has been self-induced too. It's been physical, I ran a hundred miles. They put me in a wheelchair, nonstop, and they put me in a wheelchair for four days. I can relate to what he's saying, for sure, because I think there's tremendous growth there. But it takes a really disciplined person to go to a place of consistent pain for growth. Uh huh. And I'm not disagreeing with him because I think that there's validity in there.

• 27:04Jesse Itzler?

  But for me, I find that an equal amount, if not more, growth comes from simply stepping into the unknown. So that could be an entrepreneur, taking the journey, taking the leap into a space that they're not aware of. It could be, I'm gonna go live, you know, I'm gonna go run, run my first marathon, although I've never done that before. It's uncharted territory. That's still growth without pain. It's the, it's the unknown. Uncertainty of it all, yeah. Yeah, that I think really is where the real growth comes from. What's the biggest personal challenge you've ever faced?

• 27:40Jesse Itzler?

  Parenting is just, I think is one of the hardest things, you know? In what ways? I mean, it's just so complicated. There's no manual, there's no one around to, you know, I have four kids with different personalities, different interests, different wants, different needs, different fears, different issues. I mean, no one's perfect. I have my own issues, so I mean, just like, that's a difficult thing. I love it, it's the most rewarding, but it's, it never stops. Challenges have definitive, most of them have definitive dates, like, okay, I'm going to run a marathon on this date. And then it's over. Yeah, a child is, it's ongoing challenge. When they come home and tell you they've been bullied, or they had a tough day, or they can't pick this up,

• 28:25Jesse Itzler?

  or whatever, and you're looking at your kid and all you want to do is give them all the answers, but you can't, because they gotta figure it out themselves, it's hard. And I wasn't, my only training has been being a son.

• 28:40Jesse Itzler?

  You know, so I've been taught by two people that had their own vision. But now the world's a much different place. That's been really hard. I've had partnerships that have been hard in business. I've had setbacks, I've had plenty of egg on my face. I remember when my record, when my album came out in the early nineties. I was at an airport in Pittsburgh about to do a show. And I was walking through the airport and I saw a cover of a big rap magazine. And the headline of it is, "Our White Rapper Is Ruining Rap." Ruining hip-hop or something. And I was like, "Whoa." And then I looked down and it was a picture of me. No way, on the cover? Yeah. Oh, man. And I was like, "Oh, my God." I wanna go hide under a rock.

• 29:24Jesse Itzler?

  And then I read the article and I was so pissed. I'm like, "The writer doesn't even know me." I wrote this album when I was in my college dorm room. And like, it's a reflection of that. I'm not competing, like, this is like, this is for me and my friends. If you don't like, you know, like, what are you? I just like all these thoughts and I'm 21, with no one to call, and like, that's a hard thing to like, move past. Cause you think everyone's looking at you and thinking, "That's the guy, he's one of," you know? So I've had all kinds of things. And that, but at the end of the day, I mean, I wouldn't trade any, any of that. I just think it gives you a little bit of thicker skin. And what did the monks teach you about overcoming personal challenges? I think, I don't know if it was a direct lesson from them, but I think I became very aware of like my own mortality.

• 30:09Jesse Itzler?

  Through the experience. Through the experience. And I spoke to them a lot about death. You did. Cause my parents are getting older and I'm getting older. Some of my friends now are coming with, having complications, health complications and, you know, that's just an inevitable thing with time. As you get older,

• 30:29Jesse Itzler?

  stuff catches up to people. And, you know, you're gonna, you're gonna face that soon. And I hope not. Not you personally, I'm just saying, you're gonna, as you get older. Yeah, you see. And so I had a lot of questions around that. And they had a lot of good advice around it. But for me, that helps me overcome a lot of my fears. Because before I'm gonna, if I'm really, really having a gut check about something like, "Man, I was, I'm scared, shit, I gotta go on Lewis's show." What if people are like thumbs downing me and you know, I say to myself really like and this, I don't know man, this is, my wife would probably hit me for saying this, but in a hundred years, nobody watching the show is gonna be here. Yeah. There'll be a whole, you walk down the street and look at everything going on and all the fears and challenges.

• 31:12Jesse Itzler?

  Nobody's gonna be here in a hundred years, man. There'll be a whole new wave of Jesse's and Lewis's and this one and Stranger or whatever. So who cares if I fall flat on my face? Yeah. Like who cares if the reviews aren't good? Who, that's not, that's gonna stop me because I'm scared of, no one's even, they're not even gonna know about it in a hundred years that I had this fear or concern. And that very often helps me, gives me a little bit of, a little nudge. Yeah. Doesn't always get me over the edge, but it gives me a little bit of like, you can do this. It's in the scheme of the universe. It's okay. Why was death one of the main things you talked about? Or that was coming up for you? I just think as, again, as a parent and as a son

• 31:56Jesse Itzler?

  and seeing some of my friends now that have like just getting, starting to get diagnosed with stuff and having complications. I've never really dealt with grief on that level. Knock on wood, I've had a really charmed, lucky, blessed. My parents are alive and I say this to Sarah all the time, like, look at our existence today. You know, kids are healthy, you're healthy, I'm healthy, parents are like, it doesn't get better than this. Yeah. Like it, At fifty it's pretty good. This doesn't get better than, than like this. And not talking about money or any, I'm just talking about, People in your life. Feeling, yeah. It's just, there's an inevitable timeline, man. And when you reverse engineer your life.

• 32:40Jesse Itzler?

  Again, I'm fifty. If I reverse engineer my life and don't say, what am I doing next week, but where am I in ten years when I'm sixty? Okay, now my parents are ninety-eight. My grandma's a hundred and five, Sarah's grandma's a hundred and five. The world's a different world for us than it is right now. So I wanted to know, fast forward, they've been through it, they've helped people. I've never experienced that. Help me deal with it now, so I can prepare myself. I'm prepared for a lot of things, man. I try to make myself as bulletproof as I can for certain things, right? Eat healthy, you exercise, you have great relationships.

• 33:21Jesse Itzler?

  You know, you become bulletproof in your own world through these relationships that are longstanding, etc. But I'm not prepared for that kind of stuff. I've never had to deal with it on a, on a close, real level. So, you know, why, when I go to the masters?

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Jesse Itzler?

  And be like, you know.

• 33:39Lewis Howes?

  What did they say?

• 33:40Jesse Itzler?

  They said, "How you deal with it is a lesson for others." You have a responsibility of how you deal with that stuff, where is the lesson and a blessing for others, the way you handle it? And I was like, wow, and that made sense to me. And they look at death as a passage. It's just a passage. So they almost celebrate life and celebrate the fact that this is just a passage into something probably better.

• 34:05Lewis Howes?

  Not as this massive loss, this grieving, my life is over, the world is ending. It's gonna take me years to overcome this.

• 34:15Jesse Itzler?

  Correct. We're a vessel, we're here for a reason, yeah.

• 34:18Lewis Howes?

  And so it's more of a celebration. I'm sure there's some grieving that happens and a process of longing and missing, but then they say it's more to celebrate that process.

• 34:28Jesse Itzler?

  Right, and there's a dignity and, you know, listen, it's a really tough topic. Because people that are grieving, everybody grieves differently.

• 34:36Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 34:37Jesse Itzler?

  Everybody takes time, you know, has different periods of grieving periods. I'm not an expert on, like I said, I'm, I'm trying to learn. And if they can give me some guidance and I talk to my friends that have been down that path about it. And it's not something that you would normally talk to people about, death. You know, I have several friends from high school that have lost their parents that were, that like raised me as a kid, you know, through their housing. They've lost their parents and like, we don't talk about it, but now I do, you know, and they love it. And I'll share, I'll be like, "I remember I was with your mom, man, and we went to a flea market and she was negotiating for these jeans. It was unbelievable." And then it makes them feel good and it keeps the spirit alive. So I think it's important.

• 35:22Jesse Itzler?

  To have those kind of conversations. I don't know, man. Like I said, this 50 thing is hitting me.

• 35:27Lewis Howes?

  I could imagine.

• 35:27Jesse Itzler?

  I don't know, man.

• 35:29Lewis Howes?

  I'll tell you, 35 started to hit me though, too. Because I always felt like this young kid. I was in my twenties. I was always like the young guy in the industry. And then I hit 30 and I was like, okay, I'm still like, you know, relatively young. But 35 is closer to 40. And it was the first time I really was like, wow, I'm getting older. It hit me as like, I'm getting older now. And I'm not this, the young 23, 40 year old in this space anymore. Or in, you know, business anymore. I'm getting up there. And it made me reflect a lot of these things, just like urgency as well. Again, I'm not 50, so I'm not living in this, that different of a space with four kids. But I'm still like, I want to do things now because tomorrow's not guaranteed for me.

• 36:13Jesse Itzler?

  Right.

• 36:13Lewis Howes?

  Let alone 50, like tomorrow's not guaranteed. And that's what I try to reflect on as much as possible is, I mean, hopefully I'll be here for a long time, but tomorrow is not guaranteed. And I don't want to hold on to grudges or regret or frustration or resentment towards people or myself. I want to be free in my heart. And that's the goal.

• 36:32Jesse Itzler?

  And listen, you know, we live in a world of routine. Because routine is comfort. You talked about the Iron Cowboy, talking about getting uncomfortable and pain. But pretty much all of us, myself included, we live in a world of routine. Routines are comfortable, but routines can be a rut. And when you're in a routine, the clock goes fast. It goes fast. I was 35 yesterday. When you're in a routine, get up, get the kids ready, take them to the carpool, go work, come out, boom, day over, next day. It's like, and then, and then if you don't get out of the routine and take advantage of those five weekends a year, creating whatever, you wake up and you're 60 and 70, or 50 or 40 or whatever. And you're like, man, my knee's messed up. I can't, I always wanted to do that, but now I can't do that.

• 37:17Jesse Itzler?

  Man, I'm, you know, like, you just don't know. It's just like I said to Sarah, I want to run this race called Badwater.

• 37:23Lewis Howes?

  I've heard of it, yeah.

• 37:24Jesse Itzler?

  It's a 135, whatever.

• 37:26Lewis Howes?

  Is this the one Running on the Sun, that documentary?

• 37:29Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, in Death Valley.

• 37:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, Badwater, yeah.

• 37:31Jesse Itzler?

  And she said to me, well, aren't you concerned? She's like, don't do it. You just, aren't you concerned about like when you're 75, your hips and your knees? And I'm like, you think I'm worried about 75 right now? Like 75, get me to 75. I mean, I'll be more angry at 75 that I didn't do it now. And then if I wait four or five years to think about it, to see how my, now I'm 55.

• 37:54Lewis Howes?

  You might have knee problems or something.

• 37:55Jesse Itzler?

  Exactly. And that's my point. It's urgency, taking advantage of those opportunities while you can. Before they go away, you know, because you just, like you said, you just don't, you just don't know.

• 38:10Lewis Howes?

  I want to change the subject a little bit to relationships because I'm always fascinated with the dynamics of married couples who are both extremely successful and have done incredible things and how that dynamic works. And you and Sarah have been together for how long now?

• 38:28Jesse Itzler?

  10 years.

• 38:29Lewis Howes?

  10 years, four kids. How does that work where you guys continue to have the spark, the sexual desire, but also the dynamics of business and where both of you are at, you know, success wise? How does that work where you guys aren't resenting each other or trying to one up each other, but there's actual support on both ends? And has that been a challenge for you or has it always been a pretty smooth process?

• 38:54Jesse Itzler?

  It's always challenging. Marriage is hard for anybody. It's always a work in progress because things are always, there's always a dynamic, especially when you, when you bring in parenting. And I think there's a couple of ways to answer this. I think for starters, one thing that we didn't do, we didn't talk about how we wanted to parent our kids before we had kids.

• 39:17Lewis Howes?

  You didn't talk about it?

• 39:18Jesse Itzler?

  Did not. I mean, we just assumed that like-

• 39:20Lewis Howes?

  You both are gonna do it the right way.

• 39:21Jesse Itzler?

  We had the same morals, we're very aligned in pretty much everything, you know, we're very different, but we have the same fundamental values that our parenting would be the same. But it's not. We have different styles. So that has to be, when you're in a marriage and if you take, I gotta be careful here because my wife's gonna watch. When you take divorce off the table.

• 39:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:44Jesse Itzler?

  Okay? If you take it off the table and you just say, it's not an option. Instead of rationalizing, listen, if this shit doesn't work out, man, five years, I'll just go, I'll get separated, you know, whatever, it's not, it's easy. That's what a lot of people, I think, do. It's in the back of their head, or they rationalize it, or whatever. When you take it off the table, like, we gotta figure this marriage stuff out. We have to figure out the schedule. We have to work together. It's a different kind of dynamic. And I think for us, it's always been, we don't take it so seriously if we get in an argument and it gets somewhat heated, which we really don't. We'll slow dance. We'll be like, let's just slow dance, let's move on, like, what am I gonna do?

• 40:27Jesse Itzler?

  I'm not gonna hold it, I'm living with this, this is my wife.

• 40:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 40:31Jesse Itzler?

  It's my wife, man, I mean, we kinda just work it out, and we move, we work toward it. We were lucky that we got married later in life. I got married at 40, Sarah was 37. So, we were, we were both very independent, and we've been able to maintain our independence. So again, if Sarah told me I couldn't go to the monastery, or said I couldn't do this, and those are things that I love to do, I would resent her. So she's given me a leash to do the things that I wanna do. I still have the responsibilities to the family and everything else. And I'm very respectful of her journey. So we have independent journeys, but then we have our journey together. And I don't try to interfere with her journey, she doesn't try to interfere with my journey. I'm a cheerleader for her journey, she's a cheerleader for my journey.

• 41:16Jesse Itzler?

  But then we come together. And, you know, she's just an amazing, like, support system.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Jesse Itzler?

  So.

• 41:23Lewis Howes?

  She's like the ultimate mom, and like.

• 41:26Jesse Itzler?

  She's just like, she gives so much.

• 41:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:28Jesse Itzler?

  That like, I feel like such a jerk if I'm not, you know what I mean, like.

• 41:32Lewis Howes?

  She's making pancakes every morning, she's like.

• 41:34Jesse Itzler?

  But you know what, I'll tell you, Louis, to be honest, it's just little things that keep a marriage rolling, in my opinion. It's just thinking of the other person.

• 41:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:43Jesse Itzler?

  You want some water, sweetie? I'm gonna get some water, as opposed to coming back with the water for yourself.

• 41:47Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:48Jesse Itzler?

  You know what I mean? Or, hey, I picked this up for you, I thought you would like it. Like, it's little things that really go a big way. She's always doing the little things, and I'm learning how to do the little things.

• 42:00Lewis Howes?

  Now, have you guys ever struggled with competing with one another? Since you have both been extremely successful, or?

• 42:06Jesse Itzler?

  Never. No, no, it's never been a. A thing at all. No, I'm a, when her star shines, I'm loving it.

• 42:13Lewis Howes?

  Pointing the spotlight at her, yeah.

• 42:15Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, and, and, and I feel, you know, she's always cheering for me even if my star is not shining. So, yeah, no, not at all.

• 42:23Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 42:23Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, but it's a, it is a work in progress and it's, I wish we had, I don't think anyone's figured it out. Or if they do, they'll be a gazillion zillionaire. It's day to day and it's respect and it's pretty cool though, man.

• 42:37Lewis Howes?

  It's awesome. It's amazing.

• 42:38Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, my, my parents have been married for sixty something years, so I've had good teachers.

• 42:43Lewis Howes?

  And what's the greatest lessons your kids have taught you?

• 42:47Jesse Itzler?

  Oh God, I learned so much from them. I'll tell you, you know, the way Sarah and I parent, or we try to parent, is to praise the effort, not the result.

• 42:55Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's big.

• 42:56Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, so we're always constantly praising, you know, like, you worked so hard for this swim meet. You know, not you won or you lost, but you put so much effort into it. I'm so proud of how you practiced. What a great teenager versus, oh my God, you know, you won, yes, you're. It's about the effort. So, everything is a lesson. Like, it's amazing because kids, they start out, we have two, we have a two-year-old, two four-year-olds and an eight-year-old. And everything we do is a lesson for them and that they're just such sponges. It just changes the way you, you have to act in front of them.

• 43:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:34Jesse Itzler?

  So, it's interesting. It's just really interesting dynamic.

• 43:37Lewis Howes?

  You know, I hear that a lot of parents, a lot of individuals want to create a life that their kids don't have to go through that they went through. For me, I didn't have all the money in the world growing up, hand-me-down type of family, you know, hardworking, but we didn't have like this luxury. But then sometimes you see that these kids who have it all are a little soft. Do you ever have that fear that like, okay, we've created this incredible environment for our kids? Safe, I'm sure they're going to the best schools, they have the best stuff. Do you ever feel like they might be?

• 44:09Lewis Howes?

  A little soft here and there.

• 44:10Jesse Itzler?

  Yes.

• 44:10Lewis Howes?

  Is that a fear of yours?

• 44:11Jesse Itzler?

  It's a fear, so I address it.

• 44:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:13Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, it's a fear. I mean, I think the number one thing is understanding that they're on their own journey.

• 44:19Jesse Itzler?

  If I wanted to play basketball every day in my driveway as an eight-year-old, it's very hard as a parent when my son wants to play Minecraft.

• 44:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:27Jesse Itzler?

  You know, I'm like, what are you doing?

• 44:28Lewis Howes?

  God's sake.

• 44:29Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, this is what I did when I was a kid, or go ride your bike, this is what I did when I was a kid. They're on their own journey. So that's kind of the first thing to get over, it's been really hard for me to get over. But as far as the soft thing, I mean, I try to, I try to expose my kids, and so does Sarah, our kids, to as many things that we do that's challenging and difficult as possible, so they can see what we go through.

• 44:53Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 44:54Jesse Itzler?

  I still choose to do tough races and push myself and go to a monastery and do the cold plunge challenge and all that stuff, and I bring my kids to as much of that stuff as I can.

• 45:06Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 45:06Jesse Itzler?

  And I encourage them to participate in that kind of stuff. But it's a different world, you know?

• 45:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. The iPad world.

• 45:14Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:16Lewis Howes?

  What would you say are the one to three things that you learned from this time with the monks that you started applying in your life that you weren't doing before?

• 45:26Jesse Itzler?

  I realized that a lot of times I'm not where my feet are. I'm not super present.

• 45:32Lewis Howes?

  Your mind's somewhere else.

• 45:33Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah, like my feet are here, but I'm not here. I'm at the soccer game, but I'm thinking about my to-do list.

• 45:38Lewis Howes?

  Phone or whatever.

• 45:38Jesse Itzler?

  I'm on the phone, I'm making a call, who I have to do, when I get done with the soccer game, then the soccer game's over. I really, I remember when I was at the monastery, day one, they gave me some dishes to wash, and then they brought in about 500 dishes from this convention they had, and I said, man, how am I gonna do all 500 dishes? And one of the monks said to me, he's like, there's not 500 dishes, there's only the dish that's in your hand. And I was like, whoa, Karate Kid shit, man, like, whoa. And I realized that like, he's right. I live in a world of multitasking. And I have to make a significant shift to be a monotasker. Like, they don't have to do lists, they have do lists. I don't care about my to do, this is what I'm doing now.

• 46:21Jesse Itzler?

  So I just made a really, a big fundamental effort shift to be aware of, right now I'm with Louis.

• 46:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:28Jesse Itzler?

  This is where I am. I'm not thinking about, this is what I'm doing right now. When it's over, I'm gonna go on to the next thing. So that's, that's kinda one thing. I put a lot of parameters around my phone.

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's good.

• 46:39Jesse Itzler?

  No dinner, no bed, no, no bedtime, not taking it to the movies with me, et cetera. And I say no a lot. Because of my relationship with time that came from the book. I realized that like, you know, if it's not moving the needle in my wellness, my family, my finances, or something that's important to me, like, I can't really say yes to those things, cuz they're distracting from those four key buckets. So I became really good at saying no. You know, and I've, I've been really bad at that. And, and, and that's a zapper.

• 47:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Well, a lot of the yeses in your life have also gotten you your life resume. By saying yes to a lot of things, or by meeting people at certain times. So just being aware of what it sounds like. It's like, really being clear on what buckets it's filling and saying yes to those things are gonna support it, but not yes to everything.

• 47:27Jesse Itzler?

  But you're in a position where people, I've done this. I've zapped your energy. I've called you and said, I've called you for advice many times. And you've been great to me, by the way, man. I really appreciate you.

• 47:38Lewis Howes?

  I'm always available.

• 47:39Jesse Itzler?

  And I said, you know, I'm going into this thing and I got this little coaching class and how would you do it if you were me? Can you give me 15 minutes? And you said yes. You gave me 30 minutes on the call and didn't ask me for anything for it. And that's 30 minutes of your time away from all this, away from an idea, away from a book. If you say yes to 10 of those people.

• 48:02Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 48:03Jesse Itzler?

  You know, they have five hours. That's a, that's a workday that you just gave away. And I've done that a lot. You still do that a lot and, and it's great.

• 48:13Lewis Howes?

  If I had kids, maybe it'd be different. But I'm building relationships with people that I'm inspired by and that I believe in and I wanna support at this phase of my life. So maybe that has something to do with it too.

• 48:24Jesse Itzler?

  I'm super grateful for it. And in my twenties and thirties, I built my career saying yes. Because I laughed at jokes that weren't funny. I sat in the meetings because you know, you build the relationships and you want to be liked and you want to be part of it. But now, it's a different chapter.

• 48:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:41Jesse Itzler?

  So once you recognize that like, no, I'm at a place where I can start saying no a little bit more. I wouldn't have been insulted. You know, I'm grateful for what you did. But that's where I am right now, because I can't. That's thirty minutes away from the time that I want to spend with my kids, man. And it's just too important.

• 48:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I know we only got a few minutes left, I want to get you out of here on time. Was there anything else that you do besides a do list? As one of the main things, was there anything else you learned that you apply now?

• 49:10Jesse Itzler?

  I do, I went to like a three-year-old journaling system. It's been really effective for me. I have two journals. In journal one, I take everything that's in my head that comes during the day and I write, I get it out of my head to clear up space and I dump it. Doesn't mean it went away, doesn't mean that the task is done. It just means that I don't have to spend any energy. Which allows me to be creative, allows me to think clearly. And then I have a journal of like, this week, that's my list. Here's my week, here's what I have to accomplish this week and it's broken up into days. And then I'll eliminate it, so for me, the point is, I've been carrying a lot in my head, which can make you feel really overwhelmed and really distracted.

• 49:53Jesse Itzler?

  Oh, I forgot, oh, oh yeah, oh no, I forgot. Oh, I gotta get this kid a birthday present, you know, like, but if it's here, I don't have to worry about it. So that's been really effective. Part B of that is I realized if a tornado whipped it away, I'd still be okay. You know, like, it doesn't really matter. You know, like, life goes on, I put so much emphasis into these lists. And it's like, but that's been really helpful system for me.

• 50:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:19Jesse Itzler?

  And it sounds so easy and obvious. But.

• 50:22Lewis Howes?

  It's the fundamentals.

• 50:23Jesse Itzler?

  It's the fundamentals, man.

• 50:24Lewis Howes?

  It's like basketball, things we learn is like how to dribble, how to chest pass, not a one-handed pass. It's like all the simple things that we already know what to do. It's just coming back to them.

• 50:33Jesse Itzler?

  Yeah.

• 50:34Lewis Howes?

  It sounds like.

• 50:35Jesse Itzler?

  How can I thank you for my 30 minutes that I got?

• 50:38Lewis Howes?

  You can answer.

• 50:38Jesse Itzler?

  You know, you gave me a quote on my book. You're on the cover of my book.

• 50:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you can answer two final questions.

• 50:43Jesse Itzler?

  Okay. Deal.

• 50:44Lewis Howes?

  That's like, thank me. Uh, one is called the three truths. I think you might have answered it last time, but since you have a new perspective. This is, and since we're talking about death, not to go there. But imagine you get to choose the day you get to die. As many years away from now as you want. Could be 300 years old. Let's just say you picked a day. And you've achieved everything you imagined on your bucket list, with your wife, with your family. Everything you want to do, you did it. There's no regrets. Lived the greatest life you could ever dream of. Uh, but for whatever reason, everything you created, you've got to take with you. Your books, your videos, your message to the world that you've been sharing, it's all gonna come with you. And everyone's there. It's a celebration, like the monks said. Everyone's happy.

• 51:28Lewis Howes?

  And they give you a piece of paper and say, we'd like you to write down the three things you know to be true about everything you've learned in your life. And this is the only thing that we would have access to of your information. These three lessons or three truths. What would you write down as your three?

• 51:43Jesse Itzler?

  All things come to an end. Nothing like love. There's nothing more important than love. And I hope I write, and I have no regrets.

• 51:56Lewis Howes?

  They have no regrets.

• 51:57Jesse Itzler?

  Have no regrets.

• 51:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's great. Well, I want to acknowledge you before I get to the final question. Uh, I want to acknowledge you, Jesse, for your constant example of the message you share in the world. You're living the example of doing the things you want to do. Getting uncomfortable, having time for yourself, like all the things you challenge people to do, you're doing yourself. And most people don't do the things they say you should do. And you're being the example. You're being a loving husband, a loving father. You're showing up, you're present. And you're just an incredible human being. So I want to acknowledge you for, for everything, for the book, Living with the Monks. Make sure you guys get a copy right now. Share this with your friends. Jesse Itzler on Instagram, or is it?

• 52:41Jesse Itzler?

  Jesse Itzler on Instagram.

• 52:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and Twitter and Facebook.

• 52:45Jesse Itzler?

  I'm the 100 Mile Man on Twitter, but yeah.

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:47Jesse Itzler?

  JesseItzler.com.

• 52:48Lewis Howes?

  JesseItzler.com. Final question is what's your definition of greatness?

• 52:54Jesse Itzler?

  Oh, man. Over indexing, going beyond what you even thought you could do. I think a lot of us don't really realize what we're capable of and under index a lot of buckets of our life. And I think greatness is going, you know, is really hitting your potential and even going beyond your potential. It's different for everybody, right? Everyone's potential is different. What's yours?

• 53:21Lewis Howes?

  Discovering the unique gifts and talents within you to pursue your dreams and in that pursuit, make the maximum impact on the world around you.

• 53:33Jesse Itzler?

  Fuck. Why didn't you go first?

• 53:36Lewis Howes?

  I'm always curious. I've been doing this for years, so I've got mine down. But yeah.

• 53:40Jesse Itzler?

  God.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  Yours is great, though. We said the same thing.

• 53:42Jesse Itzler?

  You said it better.

• 53:43Lewis Howes?

  We said the same thing. Jesse, appreciate you, man.

• 53:45Jesse Itzler?

  Thank you, man. Appreciate it.

• 53:46Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 53:51Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did. I love connecting with Jesse. I love learning from him. He's got so much information over years of experience from his upbringing and music and sports and business and relationships. And now, father of multiple kids. I mean, he's just doing it all. And he's doing it at a great, high level. His ability to continue to stay sharp mentally, focusing on his health. He's doing the work every single day. The work doesn't end. Growing never stops. And Jesse is a prime example that it never stops, that life is an ongoing learning process. And if you learn something from this, make sure to share with your friends. LewisHowes.com/652.

• 54:35Lewis Howes?

  Tag me at Lewis Howes and at Jesse Isler on your Instagram stories, on your posts, on Twitter. And let's spread this message far and wide. Also, make sure to check out a copy of his book, Living with the Monks. You'll learn a lot more about how you can be more mindful in your life and the other exercises and principles that you can start applying in your life right now to get bigger, better, more meaningful results. Again, to watch the full video interview, you can go to lewishouse.com/652. All the show notes, the links, where Jesse's book is, his social media handles, all the tweets that you can share out are over there. And as Leo Christopher said, "There's only one thing more precious than our time, and that's who we spend it on."

• 55:19Lewis Howes?

  Make sure you're spending quality time on yourself and on the people that matter most in your life today. Send someone a message that you care about, and let them know how much you appreciate and acknowledge them for the person that they are in your life. Continue to add value to other human beings. Continue to show up and be the best person you can be. I love you so very much, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.