311 Tony Robbins' Key to Success, Wealth and Fulfillment

"You never get beyond scarcity. You have to start beyond it." - Tony Robbins If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/311 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 311 with number one New York Times bestselling author, Tony Robbins.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:34Lewis Howes?

  Welcome everyone to this incredible episode. I'm so pumped and fired up to bring you another interview with the man, the legend himself, Tony Robbins. And for those that don't know who Tony is, he's a bestselling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. And for more than 39 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor, and the transformational power of Mr. Robbins Business and Personal Development Events. He's the nation's number one life and business strategist. He's called upon to consult and coach with some of the world's finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.

• 1:13Lewis Howes?

  He is the chairman of a holding company comprised of more than a dozen businesses with combined sales exceeding $5 billion a year. His philanthropic efforts have helped provide more than 100 million meals in just the last year alone. Tony is the definition of an incredible leader that gives and gives and gives. And I'm so pumped and excited to bring you this episode. Now, in the first interview, we had over a quarter of a million YouTube views, over 100,000 downloads on the podcast. And so many people continue to tell me that that was the best interview they've ever seen Tony give and be on.

• 1:51Lewis Howes?

  He really shared a lot in that episode, so we'll have that linked up as well in the show notes at lewishowes.com/311. And in this one, I wanted to make sure that I asked him a lot of different questions. You know, we talk about his new book, Money Master the Game, which is the seven simple steps to financial freedom. And if you don't have This book yet, make sure to get it. It is a goldmine of information on how to take your finances to the next level. You know, there's so many things that we're not taught in school about our finances. And it isn't until we get in trouble or get in debt where we start to circle back and say, okay, now how do I figure this stuff out? So make sure you guys get in this book and dive in and learn these tools and these steps, because it's really powerful information and I highly recommend it.

• 2:36Lewis Howes?

  And in this episode, we cover a lot. I mean, I got to hang out with Tony on his private jet here in Los Angeles. He's been flying around doing a tour for a new documentary he's got out. So we had about an hour on his private jet and man, did he dive in and share some powerful information. I asked him some interesting questions. I showed him some of the questions beforehand. He goes, wow, I've actually never been asked some of these before. So I think you're going to really enjoy what he shares. And just to give you a little bit of preview of some of the things we cover, I asked him how someone can have a mindset of giving when they can barely pay their bills and afford their own lifestyle. Also, how he stays grounded and how he recommends everyone else staying grounded in personal relationships with all the demand on your time and all the opportunities that come your

• 3:21Lewis Howes?

  way and all the incredible things that happen to you. How do you stay grounded? We also talk about the qualities you should be looking for in an intimate relationship and a partnership in order to build wealth. And are there specific qualities that will help you or hurt you when building your financial fortune? We talk about the common denominator under every successful individual in the world, what a fiduciary is and why Tony is changing his recommendations about them. Also, with all the tools and strategies that he's learned over the last four decades, if he could only apply one, if he could only use one and access one at any time, which one he would use all the time and why? There's so much more we cover in this episode and I'm super, super pumped for everyone listening right now.

• 4:06Lewis Howes?

  And again, make sure to go back to the show notes, lewishouse.com/311 to see all the photos of Tony and me on his jet, the video interviews, the behind the scenes, all the information on how to get the book and so much more. So without further ado, let me reintroduce you to the one, the only, Tony Robbins.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I'm in Tony Robbins jet. Good to see you. Thanks for, thanks for inviting me on your jet. I'm very excited to be here.

• 4:38Tony Robbins?

  It's a crazy place to meet, but I have to go. So yeah, yeah. This is a quick running gun interview.

• 4:43Lewis Howes?

  You've got a documentary coming out right now that you're headed to Palm Springs for. So we're, we're doing it on the jet, which is incredible. It inspires me about the topic we're covering, which is on your book, Money Master the Game, Seven Simple Steps to Financial Freedom. You've shown that you have the financial freedom, but you didn't always have financial freedom. In fact, when you were growing up, you were really poor, right?

• 5:05Tony Robbins?

  Extremely, extremely poor. We had no money for Thanksgiving for food. It's part of why last year I fed, I started feeding when I was 17. I started feeding families because I was fed when I was 11 and I fed two families, literally. And it was so moving. I said, I'm going to double it. It went to four and then to eight. And then it was like a game to see if I could reach more people. And then I started with some of my employees and then eventually I got to a million people a year, then two million, then I started matching my foundation with two million. So for 12 years I've had four million people a year. And then when I was writing this book, I'm interviewing, if you can imagine all these people who started with nothing and are multi billionaires, at the same time, Congress cut food stamps, it's called SNAP now, but it's food stamps originally by eight billion dollars. So it's equivalent to, to give you an idea of every family that's being supported,

• 5:50Tony Robbins?

  giving up all their meals, one week out of every month for 12 months. So I decided I wanted to do something about it. So I got a $5 million advance to the book. I gave all the money to Feeding America and then I said, if I want to feed 100 million people, what I gotta do is I wrote a much bigger check and now I'm so, uh, we did 102 million people last year, but now I'm going to do 100 million again this year and I got a plan to feed a billion people over the next 10 years. So I'm, uh, it's, it's so full circle from where I began. It's crazy and it's, uh, it's, it's an incredible privilege to be able to make a difference like that.

• 6:18Lewis Howes?

  How is, why is it important to be thinking of giving and contribution in order to generate wealth? When people say that, well, I don't have much to give. I'm barely making enough to pay my rent, my food. How can I have the mindset of giving? Nor to build wealth, what would you say?

• 6:32Tony Robbins?

  It's, it's the only, you never get beyond scarcity, you gotta start beyond it, you gotta plant your feet. And, um, you know, so many people say, well, when I'm rich, I'll give some money.

• 6:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:41Tony Robbins?

  If you don't give a dime out of a dollar, you're not, I can promise you, you're not gonna give ten million out of a hundred million.

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:46Tony Robbins?

  Not a trillion years. So, if you, but if you start, what I always believe is, it, it transforms you. When you, I had a group of kids that I went to, like, when I was thirty-one years old, I was invited to this, uh, grade school in Houston, Texas. And I, each grade did a little mini-assembly for me of what they had to use my stuff, you know, at that year. And at the end, I was really emotional, and I was like, you guys asked me to come inspire you, you've inspired me. And so, the sixth graders had only done it for one year, and I said, I'm gonna sponsor your college educations. I had no idea how I was gonna do it, I didn't have the money to do it, but I said, I was thirty-one years old.

• 7:21Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 7:21Tony Robbins?

  I was doing well, but not that well. And I said, I'm gonna pay for your college educations, but I said, here are the rules of the game, I just made it up, I was right there. I said, you gotta keep a B average, I'll get you mentors, there's no excuse not to be above average. You gotta not use drugs, you not get yourself in prison, and you gotta give me twenty hours of community service a year. And the reason I did that is, I don't have a college education, but I knew if I got these kids who thought they needed something, to be the ones to go give something, it would change their identity, it would change their life more than college.

• 7:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:53Tony Robbins?

  And ironically, I think we had seventy kids originally, I lost ninety-five kids I was gonna lose. I lost the first year, it was like thirty kids, and the reason was their parents did not want them to have to do community service. They said they should be receiving, they shouldn't have to work. And it was just staggering to me, but the ones that did it, I mean, some have PhDs now, went through that process. So, I really believe that the secret to living is giving, as corny as it sounds, I had an experience. Where I was driving on the fifty seven freeway, not far from here in San Gabriel Valley. And it was midnight. I was driving my nineteen sixty eight Volkswagen Bug, Baja Bug. And I was been in business for, you know, a year, year and a half, and I was working my guts out. And I was so frustrated because, you know,

• 8:39Tony Robbins?

  I always say that most people overestimate what they can do in a year and they underestimate what they can do in a decade or two or three, right? So I'd been working for this year and a half as hard as I could work and nothing was working at a level I wanted. I was so frustrated. I was mad with myself. I was mad with the environment. I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed. It's midnight. I'm exhausted. And all of a sudden, this thought hit me and I literally pulled over on the side of the road. And I've always kept physical journals. I still have the journal to this day. And I wrote on this one whole page, the secret the living is giving. And I sat there and I cried. Cause I just realized my life for the last year had gotten focused on, why isn't it working instead of how do I give more? And I made that shift and it was one of the most important shifts in my entire life.

• 9:22Tony Robbins?

  And for probably a year, things started to get better. And then, you know, you're in business, you make mistakes, you know, to, you know, I was a young, young kid. And I found myself all of a sudden in a four hundred square foot bachelor apartment. I'd lost the progress that I'd made. And I was so broke that I wrote about this at the end of my book, uh, cause I was trying to, how do I get this thought across to somebody? The most seminal moment for me was, I had, I don't know, twenty one, twenty two dollars, whatever it was, to my name. I'm living in a four hundred square foot bachelor apartment. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm watching Luke and Laura on General Hospital. I mean, I was a mess. I was a total mess. And I realized I've not paid my rent. And I'm out of money. And I don't have any prospects for some new cash in the short term.

• 10:07Tony Robbins?

  How am I even gonna eat? So I decided to go to this all you can eat salad bar that they had around the corner, this place called El Torito. Still there Marina Del Rey and I lived in Venice. So it was about a three mile walk. I didn't take the car because I couldn't pay for parking, you know, for the gas. And I walked there and I went in and I had this meal right basically loaded up for the winter. I, you know, I ate plates of food. Just tacos and salads and everything else. And while I was sitting there, there was this little boy that came in, he opened the door and he was wearing this little vest, this little suit. And he, I don't know, probably nine years old, something like that, you know, eight, nine, 10. And, and he held the door open and in walks behind him is beautiful woman who was clearly his mother. And so, you know, I definitely took it in.

• 10:50Tony Robbins?

  And then he sat down, he pulled out the chair for her and he was just so attentive to his mother. I mean, he was just so with her. But honestly, I was moved. And so I finished my meal and then I got up and I paid the bill and I was like six dollars in those days, you know, for all you getting salbar, whatever it was. And so I had whatever's left, 17, 18, 19 dollars. And I walked over to this little boy before I left. And I said, hi, and I introduced myself. I said, I'm Tony. He told me his name was Paul or whatever it was. I don't remember his name. This little boy, I said, Paul, I said, you are a class act. I said, I saw you held the door open for your woman. I saw you pulled out the chair for her. I said, taking her out to lunch like that, that is really cool. And he goes, well, she's my mom.

• 11:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:31Tony Robbins?

  And I said, that's even more cool. And I said, taking her lunch. He goes, well, I didn't take her to lunch. He goes, you know, I think he said he was eight or nine. He said, I'm nine years old. I don't have a job yet. And I said, yes, you are taking her to lunch. And I reached in my pocket and I took all the money I'd left, whatever it was, 17, 18, 19 dollars. And I dropped it in front of him. I had no plan to do this. It wasn't like manufactured. I wasn't trying to impress this woman. And he looked up at me like shocked and he goes, I can't take that. And I said, sure you can. He said, how come? I said, because I'm bigger than you are, right? And he laughed like crazy and I didn't even say another word. I just walked out the door, didn't even look at his mom.

• 12:03Lewis Howes?

  You didn't get her number, huh?

• 12:04Tony Robbins?

  No, I didn't get her number. And I gotta tell you, it was the most powerful experience of my life because I didn't walk home. I kind of flew home. And I should have been like, what is the matter with you? You have no money for food. You get the last little pennies you have left. But I had no fear. I had no scarcity and I got home. And I realized what I'd done. It was like, I have no money now. I have like no money, nothing, right? I was trying to conserve by going there, you know? And I don't, I don't know that. I just, I've worked on a plan. I figured I'll make some, I'll figure this out. And the next day I got the old snail mail and came in around like noon. And I pull out this letter and there's a, a young man that I had loaned $1,200 to.

• 12:48Tony Robbins?

  And he had not paid me back and I was desperate for cash. I probably called him 10 times trying to track him down. Not a single response. And I was so hurt and pissed. And here's the letter from this guy saying, I'm really sorry. I know you've been trying to reach me. I've been avoiding you and here's the money you owe and I'm going to give you some interest as well. So. I got, at that point, that was like more money than anything. And so, once again, I'm sitting there, tears blowing down my face. I'm an emotional character and, and I just thought to myself, you know, why did this happen? And I chose to believe, I don't know if it's true, but I chose to believe that it's because I let go of trying to just take care of myself.

• 13:28Tony Robbins?

  I did what was right. I didn't plan it. I did it spontaneously. I saw it. It felt right to me. I did it. And I felt no scarcity. And I can tell you, I've had plenty of tough times, you know, 18 companies and 12 I manage actively. I got 1,200 employees on multiple continents. We do 5 billion a year in sales across different industries now. I mean, it's a different world for me now, but since that, and I've been near bankruptcy multiple times in companies and things like that. I didn't, I pulled it off always, never went bankrupt. But I faced really tough times. I never went back to that level of scarcity, not since that day. So it's a long way of saying, when you have nothing is when you need to give. You know, if you're going to wait till you think you have something, you're never going to have something of any size or scope.

• 14:11Tony Robbins?

  There's something inside the human psyche that when you do what's right and you get outside of yourself, there's something that'll click for you. And, and also, you know, typing is a perfect example. I don't know anybody. Regardless of religious belief, who's tied 10% of their income for a decade and not prospered massively. And Sir John Templeton was the first billionaire investor, was the first person who said that to me. So Tony, I know you tied, but he said, tied more. He said, do more, give more. And he said, you'll receive more, just how it works. And I found it to be absolutely true.

• 14:45Lewis Howes?

  Will you continue to get more and more every year?

• 14:47Tony Robbins?

  Yeah, well, I was thinking I was writing checks for five million bucks. I mean, work on a book for four years and give up all the profits. And then I want to feed more peoples or another big check above that. So, and now I'm doing it this year. I'm going to do it for the next 10 years.

• 14:59Lewis Howes?

  Amazing, incredible. Um, I love hearing this story. I've heard this story before, but it always, it always caption based me. Who was the most influential person in your life growing up?

• 15:08Tony Robbins?

  Well, my mom was, um, in that she, she taught me to, she demanded that I show up in a different way than most people would. Um, meaning she wanted me to grow. She wanted to be successful. She pushed me incredibly hard. But also she was kind of, you know, she was a drug addict, a prescription drug addict. She overused those and she was an alcoholic. We had no money. We lived in a 1,200 square foot house and my four different fathers all lived in the living room. At different stages, she had her own room and she would call me every day on the phone, 11955, so you can ring your own phone. And I'd pick it up and she'd give me instructions and I'd go to the store on my bicycle and I'd buy the groceries and I'd make the meal. I really literally didn't see my mom most days, um, and I didn't understand any difference.

• 15:49Tony Robbins?

  So she gave me an incredibly high standard and she gave me a big challenge and she was physically abusive. She smashed my head against the wall till I bled. She poured liquid soap down my throat till I threw up because she thought I was lying. And yet I loved her and I knew she loved me. So it's confusing as hell. But she made me a practical psychologist because I had to figure out, I have a younger brother, five years younger, younger sister, seven years younger. And I had to figure out, how am I going to keep them from getting hurt? If she had been the mother I thought I wanted, I wouldn't be one tenth as driven. I wouldn't, you know, I suffered so much, I don't want anybody else to suffer. That's why I'm as driven as I am. I don't have to do anything at this stage of my life, but I'm, I'm more driven today than when I began. So she was the most influential person. The next most influential person were a set of mentors.

• 16:33Tony Robbins?

  I had Jim Rohn, you know, personal development speaker I went to work for when I was 17. Massively influenced my philosophy. Uh, John Grinder, who started NLP, taught me strategy. He taught me how to produce results that people thought would take decades and, and days and, and minutes. And, um, and I became his top student and so forth. So, and then along the way, I've had incredible mentors. Peter Guber owns the NBA Warriors and the LA Dodgers and, you know, Mandalay Pictures. One of my dearest friends for 30 years plus, um, Mark Benioff, you know, I've been coaching him for 16 years from the day he started Salesforce. You know, he told me, Tony, I'm leaving my company because you, I'm going to start this company. Salesforce.com, we're going to do a hundred million a year. Now they're doing eight billion. Um, so I've got some really, Steve Wynn is a mentor for me.

• 17:18Tony Robbins?

  So I have a lot of brilliant people and I'm always, I coach others and I get coached by them.

• 17:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. You've been doing the work for 40 years, right?

• 17:24Tony Robbins?

  Well, not quite.

• 17:25Lewis Howes?

  Almost 40 years.

• 17:26Tony Robbins?

  39, it's my 39th year.

• 17:27Lewis Howes?

  39 years. Um, this is a, a question a friend of mine, Ed O'Keefe asked. He said, with all the tools you've learned and wealth of information over 39 years, almost four decades.

• 17:37Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 17:37Lewis Howes?

  Strategies to break people through, to help them overcome their challenges.

• 17:42Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 17:42Lewis Howes?

  Um, if you can only have, if you had to strip them all away, you can always use one strategy or one thing to use. What would that be?

• 17:49Tony Robbins?

  I wouldn't. Part of why I'm effective is because I don't buy, buy that. Uh, I'm always looking for more strategy because one strategy will work with one person, not with another. Um, but philosophically.

• 18:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Tony Robbins?

  I would say that, uh, the capacity to strengthen and increase your hunger is the one common denominator amongst the most successful people, you know, um, you know, Richard Branson is a good friend of mine and Peter Guber, Steve Wynn, all these guys. They've never lost their hunger. Most people are hungry to achieve a certain amount, make a certain amount of money and then they get comfortable and relax or to get a certain level of fitness and then they relax. But you know, Richard is as driven today as when he was 16 years old starting. I mean, he's like on fire and he's 65 years old. Warren Buffett is 85 years old. He's as driven today as when, you know, he began the journey, right?

• 18:41Tony Robbins?

  And so people that have that hunger, I believe intelligence, I, I love people that are wickedly smart and I work to be wickedly smart by educating and training myself and so forth and training my brain. But intelligent, there's a lot of intelligent people can't find their way out of a paper bag, right? Hunger is the ultimate driver because if you're hungry, you can get the strategy, you can get the answer. If you can't model it, you can find it. So hunger, modeling would be maybe the next best skill, knowing that success leaves clues. Like, why reinvent the wheel? If someone took this plane, was Mickey's plane, who owns the Miami Heat and owns Carnival, right? I mean, you can learn so much from him. Like Mickey is blow your mind what this

• 19:25Tony Robbins?

  man has been able to do in his life. And so why would I go learn by trial and error and maybe take 10 or 20 years when I could learn from somebody in a few weeks or a few months or a few hours, something that could save me a decade. That's what it is. That's why, that's why I read 700 books in the first seven years because I was like, if somebody takes 10 years of their life, they pour into a book and I can read that an hour, two or three or four, why wouldn't I? So how does someone continue to stay hungry? Or, you know, rediscover what they're hungry about? The best way is get around where it's better and things will hit you. Say it again? Get around where it's better and things will hit you. Who you spend time with is who you become. So, you know, when I started coaching all these billionaires, you know, there's a part of me that said, I, you know, I, I'm as smart in certain areas as they are. I gotta

• 20:10Tony Robbins?

  step my game up. It's not about the money. It's about how can I take the invisible and make it visible? How can I find a way to add more value to other people to such an extent where economics are not a question whatsoever? And then I can take those economics and do even more where I'm not there. I look at money as portable power. I can leverage my money to do things for people even when I sleep. But I love doing these for people and I work 18, 20 hour days still, but it's really nice to have the leverage of that as well. Sure, sure. In a few sentences, what would you say is your current vision for life? What's, what's the vision you have and what's the legacy? That you want to leave behind. I saw, uh, have you seen Hamilton, the play in New York? I heard it's incredible. Everyone is raving about it. You've seen it, right Nick? Yeah, it's amazing. Isn't this extraordinary?

• 20:52Tony Robbins?

  Yeah, I, I loved it. I, I thought it was a lot, might be a lot of hype, but it was as good as, as The Promise. Really? There's a line in Hamilton that I thought was really interesting. It says, "Legacy is planting seeds in a garden that you'll never see." And that was really interesting. Um, but so for me, What's the garden you want to create you'll never see? Yeah, for me, it's human lives. For me, it's, it's, I love, my life is about being a blessing in the lives of the people I meet. I hope that whoever decides to watch your video, um, I hope something here will strike them and they can say, you know, I gotta get in proximity, or I gotta raise my standard, or I'm gonna go master my damn money. I'm not gonna dabble. I hope that it stimulates someone in a way where it becomes a blessing in their life.

• 21:34Tony Robbins?

  And my legacy is the lives that I've touched and my legacy is the institutions that I'm building right now, but when I'm gone, will continue to touch people. My foundation, the work that I'm doing with mentoring with kids. Um, I mean, the ability to touch another generation, but my heartfelt prayer every day is be a blessing. And you know, it's interesting. Sometimes you're a blessing just by giving somebody a few moments, just by loving on them, just being with them. Sometimes you're being a blessing because you coach them or you intervene with them. Um, you can be a blessing in so many ways, but that's my daily focus and it's not what I'm gonna build for the long term. It's really what am I gonna do right now? Why is that? Why do you want to create that legacy? Um, again, it's less about legacy than it is about doing what I'm made for while I'm here and maximizing. I, you know, I want the end to have me,

• 22:19Tony Robbins?

  I want to be climbing them out and when I die, not sliding. Sure, sure. So to me, it's about growth and it's about giving. Those are the only things that fulfill human beings. I always tell people, if you want to be happy, it's one word, progress. If you can make progress and if your progress is not only within yourself, but it's actually doing something of value for more than yourself, you're gonna be a damn fulfilled person. Yeah.

• 22:39Lewis Howes?

  How do you stay grounded in your personal intimate relationships when everyone wants a piece of you? You know, you sell out events, 10, 20, 30,000 people come to your conferences, pay tens of thousands of dollars. Everyone wants to interview you. You're coaching presidents, billionaires, world-class athletes. They call you, they want you to help them break through the next level. How do you stay grounded in your marriage or with your kids or with, you know, friends?

• 23:04Tony Robbins?

  Yeah. My mom, my mom's craziness gave me a great gift.

• 23:09Tony Robbins?

  I wanted to be a professional athlete and want to be a professional baseball player. And when I got cut from the junior high school team, I figured out I'm in trouble. So I decided to become a sportscaster and sports writer. And so I took typing when I was in junior high school. I was the only boy in an all-girl shorthand class. So I could capture everything because I wanted to be the best reporter, best sportscaster. I interviewed Howard Cosell and Woody Hayes and Dodgers and Rams. I got a job working for a daily newspaper when I was 13. And then I got this huge break, which was I got these interviews, no one had, like Joe Namath, when he was so famous. I got these interviews and here in LA, KTV channel 11, it's now a Fox channel. They were trying to get viewership and so they kept trying different kinds of sportscasters. They even tried Fanny Fox, the stripper.

• 23:53Tony Robbins?

  And somebody watched some interviews I did and went, holy shit, this 14-year-old kid, I was about to be 15. He's brilliant. He's getting interviews nobody else is getting, you know? So they called me up and they offered me the job to be the nightly sportscaster as I was turning 15. And I was out of my mind, like the dream I was gonna have when I was like 25 or 30 was happening, you know, I'm gonna be 15. And my mom said to me, your ego's too big. And if I let you do this, you're gonna even get bigger. And she not only would not let me take the job, she made me quit my job working for the Parkers-Bolton, which was a daily newspaper in Pomona, California, doing sports. And I hated her and I was devastated, but it created a sensitivity inside of me that,

• 24:38Tony Robbins?

  that that along with, I think, watching athletes who would not sign a card for a kid because they were making money selling cards, would make me so angry that I said, I'm never gonna be one of those people. And so I'm not, you know, I certainly have plenty of pride in what I've been able to accomplish and people I've been able to help. But I always know I'm just a guy and while I've worked my ass off, I've also had grace in my life, you know? And I think when you achieve things, it comes from. Incredible obsessive focus, massive action and figuring out the how to execute, do things effectively in its grace.

• 25:11Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 25:11Tony Robbins?

  And I never forget that that's a part of the formula for where my life is today.

• 25:14Lewis Howes?

  Do you think people need a little bit of ego to have that kind of drive and sanity or obsession, or is it more just belief and a bigger vision?

• 25:21Tony Robbins?

  I think, um, you know, ego can produce drive, but that kind of ego will make you not be fulfilled.

• 25:28Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 25:28Tony Robbins?

  And, uh, and we all have it until we get a few hammers. Because in the beginning, when you're young, especially a young man, I think even more so than a woman, um, you know, you're, you're trying to find yourself, you're trying to prove yourself to the world, and really you're trying to prove it to yourself.

• 25:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:43Tony Robbins?

  Like in the very beginning for me, I used to attack psychiatrists and psychologists because I care about people so much and I, cause I learned how to handle them in an hour and they're working with someone for seven years and I would just go crazy. But I was also attacking them because I was also defensive because I didn't have a degree. And so I figured I'm going to be on the offense, I'm going to show them. But as I grew up, I realized, holy shit, these people care just as much as I do.

• 26:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:06Tony Robbins?

  Now I've trained a hundred thousand therapists around the world with my partner, Chloe Madonna, so we make films of people's lives, like suicidal people, people who've been through hell, and you get to watch how I do it, as I do it, and then you could see them two years later, know it really worked.

• 26:19Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. Uh, do you ever question choices of decisions you make today? Okay. And does, does everything you touch turn into what you want it to be?

• 26:28Tony Robbins?

  No, of course not. No, um, failure is part of life. I mean, uh, the difference for me though, is I look at failure as a stepping stone to success. It's a, it's a speed bump. Uh, I know I'm going to fail, um, but it's not failure if you learn something. And so, gosh, I've, I've made so many mistakes, I've screwed so many things up, but every time I do, it just becomes, it becomes a way for me to explain to someone else what it takes. You know, it's like, here's what I've done. I, I think I have the ability to influence people because I talk about my failures. I talk about all the things that messed me up, but I show people that didn't let it stop me and you don't let it stop you. And I think, I think that's really the secret there.

• 27:04Lewis Howes?

  And if everything you touched was successful, if I wanted to relate to people as much.

• 27:08Tony Robbins?

  No, you're going to be relate, and also it's be total bullshit and everyone know it's bullshit. And also you'd be bored silly.

• 27:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 27:14Tony Robbins?

  I mean, think about it, if you just said, I want this to happen, I want this to happen. You know, people don't value what they don't fight for. You know, it's like you see kids sometimes, you know, your parents will say, you're not going to value this if you don't work for it. And your kid going, oh, value it, just give it to me. But it's true, you know, the things we've worked the hardest for, we value the most. So I think, you know, the purpose of the goal is not getting it anyway. The purpose of goal, you know, is what, who you become. Who you become is going to make you happier, it's going to make you sad. So I'm not looking for an effortless approach.

• 27:45Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 27:46Tony Robbins?

  There's no such thing.

• 27:47Lewis Howes?

  Um, I'm curious about relationships and building wealth. Is it important to, or how important is it to have the right partner in a marriage or intimate relationship? Relating to building wealth. Does it matter who you choose, their mindset? Does any of that play the effect of how much you're going to make or?

• 28:07Tony Robbins?

  It won't affect how much you make, but it'll affect how your relationship a lot, right? You know, getting on the same page is really, really important, but when my wife and I met, my wife, we both grew up very poor. But I decided that I was going to find a way to add so much value that money would never be a question for my family. And, you know, it would never stop me from giving or doing or sharing anything. And I made that decision early on, so I became an earner, ways of earning. She became a negotiator, a cost manager. Her mom's number one thing is somebody comes in, she goes, sharpen your pencil, that's not a good enough deal. And so when we first met, I remember we were, we were in New York City. And this dates me how old I am, but I remember when they first came out with digital cameras, the very first digital cameras. And it was like such a cool thing, you could take 12 pictures or whatever.

• 28:53Tony Robbins?

  But we were down in, um, New York City, we're in Times Square. And we went into one of those camera shops and it was Christmas time. And I saw the camera and I was like so excited about this camera. And I said, you know what, I'm going to get one for my brother, my sister, my mom. And you know, I came up with, I don't know, it was like 12 cameras and they were very expensive then. I mean, they were like 1200 or $2,000 each, they were really crazy.

• 29:13Lewis Howes?

  Now they're like 200 for the same.

• 29:14Tony Robbins?

  Yeah, no, not even, it's a million times better. But I went to the counter and the guy goes, oh my God, Tony Robbins, can I take a picture with you? I'll put it on the wall. And I said, sure. And she goes, hey. She goes, sharpen your pencil. What kind of deal are you gonna give my boyfriend here? Oh my gosh. And I wanted to grab her by the throat and just go, what are you doing here? It's like, what are you doing? And she's like, no, no, what's the deal here? And he goes, oh, well, I give you 10% off. She goes, sharpen your pencil, 10%. You're not taking a picture of my boyfriend. And I'm wanting to murder her, right? And I was so mad. I mean, I was so mad. And so she got like 15% off and free camera cases and all this stuff. And I'm shaking my head. We left. I was like, I'm so, we had this big fight. Wow.

• 29:54Tony Robbins?

  Today, I just call her squeaky. She's my squeaky girl. She wants to go to Walmart as if we'd ever need to go to Walmart. Right, right. And what I do is I'm delighted by the difference. And I go, you know what? What a beautiful gift. I've been in relationships before where I gave everything and the people were totally unconscious of money. So to answer your question, it's nice to be on the same page, but you know, one day I told my wife, I was coaching someone and the person gave me a quarter of a million dollar bonus. I don't care who you are. It's mind boggling. It was like, he didn't have to. It wasn't part of the deal. He pays me a million dollars a year plus a piece of the upside. And he just said, Tony, you did so much for me. I just want to give you this additional quarter million dollar bonus. And it wasn't the money. It was the generosity that just knocked me off my chalk seat.

• 30:36Tony Robbins?

  And so I called my wife and I said, honey, Paul just gave me a quarter million dollar bonus. I mean, I was like, he's so generous. And she goes, oh, that's nice, honey. Hey, do you know what I'm making for lunch? And I'm like, Wow. So I used to get upset about it. And I'm like, that's my squeaky little girls. I'm thrilled. She doesn't have to think about it. I'm in charge. Yeah, yeah. And so I don't think your partner has to. One of you has to master it. Right, right. And you have to have some alignment. Okay. Right? But you don't want them to be against you essentially. Well, sometimes they're gonna be. We were against each other in some ways. We're having fights. But what you eventually decide is do I want to be right or do I want to be in love? There you go. I'd rather be in love personally, right? It's a good quote. And then also I just said, you know, to her, I'd say, listen, honey, I'm, I, I understand your intent.

• 31:19Tony Robbins?

  I had to go to her intent. Instead of being frustrated with her saying, this is really actually a cool quality. And she's my opposite in that area. And it's a, and we're a good, we're a good balance together. Right, right. You know, there's a lot of people that I grew up with who were poor, who had a negative mindset around money. They thought it was evil, that it was bad.

• 31:36Lewis Howes?

  What would you say to someone who has that mindset? Where they're just, they have a story around money that isn't a positive one?

• 31:41Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 31:42Lewis Howes?

  Think of money, think of evil, bad, corruption, whatever it may be.

• 31:44Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 31:45Lewis Howes?

  How does someone shift it? Like what's, is it a daily practice? Is it something they can do right away?

• 31:50Tony Robbins?

  It's the truth. Get to the truth. The truth is simple. Money does not change people. Money makes you more of what you are. It's a magnifying tool. If you're mean, you got a lot more to be mean with. If you're generous, you got a lot more to be generous with than give. So it's, it's bullshit that money is anything. All money is, is a symbol and we all project on that symbol, different things. You can, you know, if you feel out of control of money, then you're going to project it as evil. If you feel incompetent and you see someone else more successful, oh, they're the 1%. They're the jerks. Usually, by the way, they're the point oh oh one percent you're pointing at.

• 32:22Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 32:22Tony Robbins?

  But it used to be aspirational to be in the 1%.

• 32:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:25Tony Robbins?

  Today, there's this new mindset that says they're evil, they're wrong. The people in our society that say they're the 99% are lying. Because half this planet lives on $2.50 a day. Right? $900 a year. If you are considered in poverty in the United States, you are the 1% of earners in the world. You are the 1%.

• 32:50Lewis Howes?

  In poverty.

• 32:52Tony Robbins?

  In poverty in the U.S. Poverty is the 1% of the world's earners. So what you're doing is saying, poor me, while you're typing on your Apple computer or drinking in a cup of Starbucks. Somebody showed me a picture of, you know, the, the, the people that were camping out and they got these great camping tools. I mean, they got all these brand name corporations that they're doing. They think they're the 99%? Now, don't get me wrong. I wrote an entire book exposing the abuses in the system. But here's what I said. The system is rigged against you, but you can still win. But what you have to do is understand the rules of the game instead of complaining and whining. And what I did is I went to the very best and said, how can you possibly win?

• 33:34Tony Robbins?

  When 70% of the stocks every day are being traded by high frequency traders? So before you choose Apple on E-Trade and hit it, as you hit it in microseconds, they see what you want. They get in front of you, they buy and sell it multiple times, make money off of you. If you're a trader, that's a pain in the butt. But if you're an investor, over the long term, it doesn't affect you at all.

• 33:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:55Tony Robbins?

  And what I really try to detail for people is how to get from where you are to where you want to be. If you're a millennial that's got all this debt and you don't think you can ever be free, I show you how. If you're a baby boomer and you're older and you think I don't have any money, I'll never have it, I show you how to get that piece. And it's not, none of this is from my perspective. I teach the emotional part.

• 34:14Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 34:14Tony Robbins?

  But it literally is the 50 smartest minds in the world.

• 34:18Lewis Howes?

  And we were talking before we started the interview that you learned something new over the last six months or year since writing the book came out.

• 34:24Tony Robbins?

  Yeah, something new and disappointing.

• 34:26Lewis Howes?

  Can you share with us, talking about fiduciaries?

• 34:28Tony Robbins?

  Yes. Well, the first thing that I did was, most people don't understand that there are lots of things you can't control in the system. But there are a few things you can control and that's what you focus on and you can win. And one of those is you can't control where the markets are going to go, real estate, stock, anything. But you can control fees. And that sounds so third grade. Like, what does that matter?

• 34:49Lewis Howes?

  Not sexy.

• 34:50Tony Robbins?

  Not sexy. But when I met with Jack Bogle, who created Vanguard, the largest index fund in the world, they got $3 trillion with a T. And 63 years in the business, he said, Tony, I know you care. You've got to uncover for people where the fee structures are. Like, for example, most people in America have their money in their home or their 401k.

• 35:10Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 35:10Tony Robbins?

  And there's more 401ks than there are homes, right?

• 35:12Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 35:13Tony Robbins?

  He said, Tony, the abuse in that system is so bad. So when you uncover the fees, and I did this in the book, I created a system where people could go into showmethefees.com if they had a 401k. And it shows you exactly what the fees are and what it means to you compounded. Because every 1% in fees you pay, more than you need to, because of compounding, means you gave up 10 years of income when you go to retire. So for example, the average person puts their money in a mutual fund. They don't know which mutual fund to go to. They look on Morningstar, maybe it's five stars. If it's five star, you're already overpaying for it. It's not going to stay a five star. And the average mutual fund pays 3.12%. All right? That's the cost. You think it's 1%, but there's a 35-page document that if you know how to read it, you'll find 17 of the fees, right? Well, why does that matter?

• 35:58Tony Robbins?

  It's only 3%. It's 3% compounded year after year. So what happens is, you go out, you put up, you put yourself in this position and you could have paid for Vanguard, for example, an index fund, 14 basis points. That's 14 one-hundredths of a percent of 1%.

• 36:16Tony Robbins?

  The other person's paying 3% for the same product. It's the exact same set of stocks. Right. So what's the difference? Well, those 3% are gonna cost you, to give you a perspective, 60% of what you earn is gonna go to somebody else that didn't have to go to them, just because you were ignorant. Right. So it's kinda like, do you wanna buy a Honda Accord? An example I always give is $20,000, but in this case, $20,000 Honda Accord, you're paying $1,002,400. That's the difference between .14 and 3.12. Sure, sure. And so, there are people living next door to each other that are paying 1,000% more, most of them 100% more, than their neighbor for the same product. There's no industry in the world, except the financial industry, where you can do that, and the way they do it is by confusing you so much

• 37:00Tony Robbins?

  that you give up and say, "Just, you know, manage my money", and so they take it away from you. So, in the book, I explain how to do that. I also built a site, another site called PortfolioCheckup.com, and I built it so you could put all your accounts in there, not just 401K. It pulls them for you in two minutes, shows you all the costs, shows you how much risk you're truly taking, and compares you to some of the best portfolios in the world, so you know how it compares. I don't, just like the book, I donated all the profits, but I didn't do anything. And then if you wanted to work with someone, I taught everyone, 90% of the people in the financial markets that you go to as a wealth manager, investment manager, they're a broker. Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with a broker, except they're just a salesman, and they're gonna sell you what the house tells them to sell you, because the house always wins. And they're gonna sell you underperforming assets,

• 37:45Tony Robbins?

  because mutual funds, 96% of them, never match the market over any 10-year period of time. So it's gonna underperform, and they're gonna overcharge you. So I said, "Go to a fiduciary", a new word for everybody. The F-word, fiduciary. All it means is, there's a small percentage of the population that's required by law to put your needs ahead of their own. Meaning, if I told you, I'm a fiduciary, and I tell you to buy Apple this morning, and then the stock drops, and I buy it later today for myself, I have to give you my stock. That's how strong the law is. Really? Yeah. Small group, they're called RIAs, Registered Investment Advisors, or fiduciaries. So, I built this platform, gave away all the money, and then said, "Go to a fiduciary", and I recommended the seven largest fiduciaries in the country.

• 38:29Tony Robbins?

  And then five months ago, I had one of the guys on the platform, his name is Peter Bluck, and he has a company called Creative Planning. And Creative Planning is the number one rated firm in the world, number one independent wealth manager by Bloomberg for three years in a row. That's, no one's ever done it for three years. Two years in a row for CNBC. And he built this family office. It's like billionaires have a family office. It's a place where they have eight or nine people who, one works on protecting you, one works on your mortgages, one works on your taxes, one to make sure you get the most efficiency, one's working on your investments. And all billionaires have a family office. He built a family office for people that are multimillionaires. And so he comes to meet with me and he said, Tony, I want to share something with you. He goes, there are these

• 39:12Tony Robbins?

  hidden rules in the law, these gray areas, that if people are on the edge legally, and everyone on your platform is doing this. And he said, it's called dual registration. And what's that? He said, I tell you I'm a fiduciary, so now you trust me. And legally and responsible, take care of you. But I have this dual registration. So in the middle of the conversation, I can switch hats and become a broker, and you don't know it. And I can sell you some product that costs two or three or four percent, and it under reforms, and you don't even know it. You think I'm giving you independent advice, and it's not independent advice. And I did the homework in every firm, including people I really like were doing it, because there's a way to get more margin for their business share. So it's not right. So I kicked everybody off the platform, and I sat down with Peter,

• 39:55Tony Robbins?

  and I said, you're the only guy of size, he has 20 billion in assets he's approaching right now. I said, you're the only guy, and you're number one. I said, I want to recommend more people to you, but you only do billionaires and multimillionaires. I said, keep doing that. You've got the greatest practice in the world, but how about you build something, another division that'll work with people with as little as $50,000, and give them the CPA, the tax, give them everything the same. And he charges less than 1%, 1.2 is the highest for somebody to make no money, and it goes down to 25 basis points. I said, people, people charge more than that just for the financial advice, you're doing everything. I said, if you do that, I'll partner with you. So he, for three weeks, came back to me, went back and forth, started building a new division. Over the last five months, he's been building it. So now I'm on his board of advisors, and I'm also the chief

• 40:40Tony Robbins?

  of investment psychology. So I educate both the general public and his people on how to meet people's financial needs at a different level. And I got him to create a second opinion, which means If you had a health challenge, anybody smart knows, no matter what this person tells you, get a second opinion and go to the best.

• 40:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:58Tony Robbins?

  Cause there's so many opinions about to do health wise. There's so many opinions about to do financially.

• 41:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:02Tony Robbins?

  So I said, why don't you give a second opinion from the number one firm on earth? Why don't you provide that? Give people a plan and then they can implement on their own if they want, or for less than one percent, they can go with you. I think most people end up going with you.

• 41:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:15Tony Robbins?

  So he's agreed to do it and anyone who wants to can go to thenumberonefirm.com, thenumberonefirm.com, or they can go to creativeplanning.net.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 41:22Tony Robbins?

  And you can just apply, they'll interview you, they'll take you through a process, they'll build a plan for you and then you can go implement it or you can work with them.

• 41:29Lewis Howes?

  Amazing, amazing. A few questions left for you, that's cool. And we'll have all this linked up here at the end. So if you're listening to the podcast, I'll give you guys a show note information soon. If you're on YouTube watching this, this will all be linked up below. And also I'm going to do something for anyone watching this on YouTube. The first hundred people to leave a comment and share this video, I'm going to buy you a book. I'm going to send you one of his books, the paperback copy for the first hundred people that do that.

• 41:55Tony Robbins?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 41:55Lewis Howes?

  Um, cause I want to get the message out there.

• 41:57Tony Robbins?

  That's great. And by the way, every book that is bought, 50 people are fed.

• 42:00Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 42:01Tony Robbins?

  So all the money still goes out in the paperback, just like.

• 42:02Lewis Howes?

  There you should buy one as well and give it away.

• 42:04Tony Robbins?

  That's awesome.

• 42:05Lewis Howes?

  That's what you should do. Um, final few questions. What are you most grateful for in your personal life?

• 42:11Tony Robbins?

  My wife, by far. I mean, I love my children completely, but my wife is truly the greatest gift in my life. My kids are adults. I'm so proud of them. Um, but she is nothing but love. She's as mission driven as I am. Uh, she doesn't have the same constitution I do. So, you know, I'm a crazy person, 50 hours in a weekend on stage, you know, I do literally 18 miles on the first day. You've seen, going around, jumping off the stage, getting people involved.

• 42:35Lewis Howes?

  I've walked on fly, I've done it all. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah.

• 42:37Tony Robbins?

  I do literally 26 miles to 27 on the third day where I start at 8:30 in the morning and finish at 1:00 AM with one one hour break. So the demands I make on my body are intense. My wife has the same will I have, not the same physical. So I try to take care of her that way. But her love, her joy, her happiness lifts my soul and spirit. People say, who inspires you? I say, my wife, in the first place. Uh, I love my children. I'm so close. One of my sons, Jerick is, I know a friend of yours. He's a tremendous coach. I'm really proud of him. One of my other sons is a partner in some of my financial businesses, Josh. So my family is in. Involved with my mission, which I'm really grateful for, because people talk about work-life balance and it's bullshit. Anybody's an overachiever. You're not gonna find balance. Balance is like a teeter totter, you know?

• 43:20Tony Robbins?

  If you're in a teeter totter and you get balanced for 10 minutes, you and I, what are we gonna do after 10 minutes? Somebody's gonna start jerking this around for some fun, right? It's gonna be bored out of your mind. So I think if it was work-life integration, and the more you can get the people you love involved in what you do for your mission or for your work, uh, then you don't have to worry about that work-life balance.

• 43:35Lewis Howes?

  I love that. I love it. It's a good answer. Thank you. Um, I don't think I asked you this question last time, so I'm gonna see what your, your answers are. I've been asking everyone else recently though. Uh, this is many, many years down the line. It's your last day. It's a very happy day. Everyone's there. You've created everything you've ever imagined. The seeds you planted are happening and the gardens are being, you know, created everywhere. Um, but everything you ever produced, physical books, audio, workshops, videos have all been erased for whatever reason. You have one piece of paper. Your great, great, great grandchild says, here's a piece of paper. Can you write down three truths? Three things that you know to be true, that you could, that we could remember you by, since we don't have anything else. But these are the three things that is like your Bible.

• 44:20Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 44:21Lewis Howes?

  The lessons that we should be remembered, remembering to use and to follow for the rest of our lives. What would you say? Those three things?

• 44:27Tony Robbins?

  Love is everything.

• 44:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 44:28Tony Robbins?

  Um, uh, the secret to living is giving. And remember that the most important decision of your life is deciding whether you're truly committed to being happy no matter what. Because life is gonna throw all kinds of curveballs at all of us. Uh, there's the one thing that's in common in this lifetime is extreme stress. You're gonna experience it if you haven't already, and even if you have, you will in the future. I like this positive thinking. But it's just true. Someone you're gonna care about is gonna die. Someone's gonna take advantage financially if you're not careful. You're gonna find yourself in a position, the government might change the rules and you can't do what you're doing before. Um, somebody call like I've gotten a call saying you got a tumor in your brain. Those days alter you.

• 45:13Tony Robbins?

  And if you decide that you're gonna live in a beautiful state of mind, that doesn't just mean happy, it means. Uh, people say, oh, yeah, I'm committed to be happy, but my wife left me. Well, then you're not committed to being happy. You're committed to be happy unless your wife leaves you. And you can't control that. You can certainly influence it, but you can't control it. Or I'm gonna be happy except my friend died. Your friends are gonna die. Your family gonna die. So the greatest gift you could give yourself besides making this life about love and making this life about giving, because to give you have to keep growing, is I believe to make that decision and say, life is too short to suffer. And most achievers like you and I, we never use the word suffering, but we get stressed, we get pissed, we get overwhelmed. Some people get sad or depressed, and those are all forms of suffering.

• 45:57Tony Robbins?

  And all your entire life, you live in one of two states, states of suffering or beautiful states of being. In beautiful states of being, it doesn't matter what happens, um, you're gonna find something to enjoy and appreciate. And you know, you and I both interviewed people, I'm sure, I'm sure you have, that are born with no arms or legs, or they've been, they've lost their sight, and they're happy. Yes. And then you meet billionaires or people, families, they got beautiful kids, beautiful husband, beautiful wife, and they get miserable over anything. I really believe you have to make, that's the most important decision of your life, is that no matter what happens, I'm gonna live in that state. And then you have to do the work, which is I got a 90 second rule. They get pissed off or frustrated, suffering comes up, it always shows up.

• 46:42Tony Robbins?

  But what I decided is within 90 seconds, I kill it. Because in that suffering state, I'm not gonna be there for my wife or my kids. In that suffering state, if I solve it, I'm gonna be miserable even though I solve it, right? I, um, I realized I would give away my happiness so easily, because look, I got 1,200 employees plus in 18 companies on multiple continents and multiple industries. Right. What are the chances that today, somebody's gonna screw up something? Yeah, a big chance. It's 100%. And so I would be like, oh, I was so happy. And then John did this, or this person, what were they thinking? Or he opened the door in the middle of the interview, or whatever. There's always something, right? And so I decided, that's the shit that's gonna happen. That's part of, you know, having multi-billion dollar companies in lots of industries.

• 47:27Tony Robbins?

  So I'm gonna enjoy it. And when something doesn't work out, we'll learn from it, we'll grow. It's all small stuff, right? You don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff. So I, I've, I've really experienced in the last year, that's probably the greatest growth for me, is Not letting that suffering last and calling it suffering because it's inconsistent with my identity and probably yours as well, right? So I'd never do that stuff, so I don't. And I call a spade a spade. Pissed off is suffering, worried is suffering, stressed out is suffering. And so if there if. I know it sounds esoteric because we're doing this in two minutes. I usually take people now to like a day of experiences where they uncover this. I asked people. If I asked you. What are two of the most magnificent experiences of your life?

• 48:12Tony Robbins?

  Hmm. So far.

• 48:15Lewis Howes?

  Um. The first two things that came to the top of my head was. Visiting a third world country and building a school for kids.

• 48:22Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 48:22Lewis Howes?

  And seeing their joy.

• 48:24Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Lewis Howes?

  And being in that experience. And then two others was uh. Achieving a dream of being an all American athlete when I wanted to early on.

• 48:31Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 48:32Lewis Howes?

  When I worked for it for so long and then also. Not to pitch myself, but writing a New York Times bestselling book.

• 48:37Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 48:38Lewis Howes?

  And having a dream and and creating that dream, so.

• 48:40Tony Robbins?

  And then let's now there's a pattern to those examples. I'm not just listening to the content, I'm listening to tell me what you felt. What did you feel when you helped build that school?

• 48:50Lewis Howes?

  Incredible joy. It was like uh. It was like I was able to give, I was able to. Use what God had created for me to give back and and support other people.

• 49:01Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 49:01Lewis Howes?

  And that contribution, that service for me was a a major. Thing to see what I was capable of doing for so many other people beyond myself.

• 49:08Tony Robbins?

  And when you became an all American, what did you feel?

• 49:11Lewis Howes?

  I felt a sense of, well, actually, the first time I was an all American, I was really happy and then I was really sad. I was really upset because I was driven by anger to prove people wrong that I would become it.

• 49:22Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 49:22Lewis Howes?

  So I made it happen by this. Willing it and this commitment to like proving everyone wrong and. All the people that screwed me over like. Here's why you're gonna accept me and why you're gonna love me.

• 49:33Tony Robbins?

  And it and it didn't work completely.

• 49:35Lewis Howes?

  It wasn't fulfilling.

• 49:36Tony Robbins?

  No.

• 49:36Lewis Howes?

  It was for a moment and then I was like. This sucks, what's the point of this?

• 49:40Tony Robbins?

  So so you you just so beautifully demonstrated. What I want to get across. Whenever we have our highest experiences of life. Two things are involved. Some form of growth within ourself and some form of contribution beyond ourself.

• 49:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Tony Robbins?

  I don't, I could ask a hundred people as I've done this with thousands. And they always tell me something that where they would face the fear, overcame something, but also in doing it. It benefited their family or benefited somebody else or like what you did with the building. Whenever I ask people the worst experiences of their life, they will tell me something and it was all about them.

• 50:15Tony Robbins?

  You. What happened to them? Yeah, so one of the reasons you valued that experience is there was growth in that experience to become the all American. But because you did it all just about you, it wasn't fulfilling. Exactly. That's when I say, life's not about me, it's about we. And that's also why when people are suffering, it's always because you're obsessing about yourself. You're obsessing that something happened and now you have less, you think you have less. Or something happened and you've lost something, lost love, lost money, lost significance, lost attention, lost something. Or because you did this or said that, or because I did something myself, I'm never gonna have something. Loss, less, never are the sources of suffering. And when you say, no, I'm suffering because my children are doing well.

• 50:57Tony Robbins?

  No, you're suffering because you failed your children in your mind. It's about you still. When you get that all suffering is obsession with self, you can snap out of it and all you have to do is stop expecting and start appreciating. You look around and appreciate things outside yourself, the people around you, your friends sitting across here, anything of that nature. And then starting to enjoy something. If you start to learn or grow from that, if you love, which to me is an action, if you love, if you give, if you're grateful, suffering disappears instantly, but you have to tell yourself the truth. The only suffering is in your mind, it's because this brain is not designed to make you happy. It's two million years old, it's designed to make you survive. Happiness is your job and happiness is a decision and it's a daily set of practices.

• 51:40Tony Robbins?

  And the difference for me from before, if you said, do you have a beautiful, magnificent life? Is there kidding me? I mean, it's like, I have this incredible mission, I work with millions of people, I have this beautiful family, I love my wife, I'm physically strong and healthy. But it's like a business. If you measure the business annually, you feel good about the business, but you're gonna have some bad years. If you measure it monthly, the worst you're gonna have is bad months. Daily, when I take over a company, turn around, I find usually a dozen elements of that business. And I'll measure five times a day in the beginning. Wow. Because the more you measure, the better you can adapt and change. I make everybody have to focus on it. Well, what I've done with this area of my life is instead of saying, is my life beautiful? Of course it is, or magnificent, of course it is. I now measure it moment to moment. Wow.

• 52:23Tony Robbins?

  So if I feel that that suffering, that frustration, that whatever's coming up, I go, this is the mind, I breathe in my heart. I find something I can appreciate. I become entertained by the experience and go, you know what? I'm gonna live in a beautiful state no matter what, because not everything can I control. And the things I'm most upset about, they're fleeting anyway, most of them.

• 52:42Lewis Howes?

  Of course, I love it. One final question. Before I ask it, I want to acknowledge you, Tony, for everything. When I was 16, I told you this last time, when I was 16, my dad got me and my mom a ticket to go watch you in St. Louis on a big arena.

• 52:56Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Lewis Howes?

  Actually, Donald Trump was speaking there. Larry King, who I just had dinner with recently, was speaking over a TV.

• 53:04Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 53:04Lewis Howes?

  And

• 53:05Tony Robbins?

  A video by Skype.

• 53:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, by Skype or whatever it was then.

• 53:08Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Lewis Howes?

  This is 20 years ago or something. And I, I never heard about you before. My dad said, you gotta go do this. Because I was going through a lot, going through a lot emotionally. And I remember listening and watching and being, I was more inspired by like, the football coaches that were there and the athletes. I think Jerry, yes, he was there. I think Jerry Rice might have been there or something else like that. And I was more interested in that.

• 53:29Tony Robbins?

  Yeah.

• 53:30Lewis Howes?

  But at one moment, you walked on stage, you walked up next to me, you stood there. And I remember, I don't remember what you said, but I remember the way you made me feel. The energy, you were a catalyst for possibility. And I want to acknowledge you for creating that in me, but so many people around the world, for just being the catalyst for the next level.

• 53:51Tony Robbins?

  You're very kind. I'm really glad that was there.

• 53:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, it was a great moment. It was a great moment. I didn't know that I would be doing, you know, a lot of similar things that you're doing. I didn't know where it would lead me, but it helped me in my sports and my relationships and in high school and college.

• 54:05Tony Robbins?

  That's awesome.

• 54:05Lewis Howes?

  From that moment. So I appreciate that.

• 54:07Tony Robbins?

  Thank you.

• 54:07Lewis Howes?

  And the last question is, who in the world right now is a definition of greatness for you? And what is that definition?

• 54:16Tony Robbins?

  There's so many people. I mean, you know, my dearest friends, you know, Mark Benioff, Steve Wynn, Peter Guber, Paul Tudor Jones, are all great. And what makes them great to me is they're not only extraordinary, the best in the world in what they do, but they are all givers. They're all, you know, Paul Tudor Jones created Robin Hood. He's the largest, most effective foundation. He's given away like a billion or two, I think, so far in New York City for people. But he doesn't just give it away. He's invested in getting the outcomes and the results, like a person doing investments. He wants to make sure the result happens. I was in San Francisco recently. I'll give you somebody who inspires the hell out of me. I think it's great. Uh, I read in the Census Chronicle that there's a group of nuns in the Tenderloin District

• 54:59Tony Robbins?

  that are being evicted. They feed the homeless and they're being evicted because the man wanted to sell the property, he found a loophole and he's evicted. So they literally had no place to go and no money and they're gonna be homeless themselves. And I'm like, in a town full of billionaires, how has this not been handled, right? So I flew in, I went and met the nuns and I said, let me work this out for you. I said, I'll find the leverage with this man. And I went to find the business owner and I said, let's not make it wrong. I go, I'm a business owner. I can see you want to sell your building, but you're pretty dumb if you do it right now. I said, you're gonna get hammered by the media. So why don't you and I make a deal? I'll give you a year's worth of money for them in advance at the higher level you want. And you let them stay for a year and my promise is I'll get them out within the year. And I'll, I'll provide the resources to get them out. So I was gonna just lease them a place,

• 55:44Tony Robbins?

  help them get everything going. And then I hung out with these nuns for, like, you know, a day and a half and then a million conversations with them by phone constantly. And these women live in a 200 square foot little room with no windows and all they do every day is get up, make the food and love these people. And I mean, love them. They don't just like feed them, look down on them. They love them. I was so inspired by them. For Easter, I went and bought them a soup kitchen, right? So they have their own soup kitchen now. No one can ever evict them. Everything is set. But I talk to them all the time. They call me, they call me Mr. Tony. Mr. Tony, what's going on today? And they inspire me. They're greatness. Someone that commits their life to something greater than themselves is great. And someone who can achieve and give,

• 56:29Tony Robbins?

  I, I think is unique. And I, and I love those people. I know that most people, I'm not dumb. Most people are not happy every day of their life. They're not physically fit. They are not financially free and they're not in a relationship where they're really passionate. Most people aren't, but a few are. And I'm obsessed with finding the few who do and figuring out what makes them different than everybody else and then teaching them. Looks like you're doing the same thing. I love it. Tony Robbins, thanks for being here.

• 56:56Lewis Howes?

  There you have it friends, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you took lots of notes, I hope you got a lot out of this because I enjoyed it so much myself and every time I'm around Tony, I feel like I soak up and learn more and more. Make sure to watch the full video interview as well, LewisHowes.com/311 because you get more out of it when you watch Tony. I feel like you learn more about what he's talking about when you see his presence and you see his energy because it is magnetic. I would love, love, love if you shared this episode out with your friends. Let's get this word out there. Again, the link is LewisHowes.com/311. Share it out on Twitter, share it out on Facebook, tag Tony on Instagram, post it anywhere you can. I want to get the message out there about this episode in a major way.

• 57:41Lewis Howes?

  Email your friends, let someone know about this who needs to hear it. If they need to learn more about mastering their money, about reaching success, about fulfillment, about generating wealth, whatever it is, we covered it all in this episode. So make sure to share it and let me know what you think at LewisHowes.com/311. I appreciate you guys so very much, you mean the world to me. We continue to grow and grow and grow. We've reached over 15 million downloads, we're getting over a million downloads a month and we couldn't do it without your support. So thank you so much for being a part of this community in the School of Greatness and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.