The Wolf of Wall Street w/ Conan O'Brien [Re-Release]

Conan O'Brien, the man with "con" in his name, helps Laci discuss stock market manipulator Jordan Belfort who was famously portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio in the Wolf of Wall Street. Along the way, Laci tries to teach Conan how to sound less like a cop (hint: it doesn’t work). Stay schemin' con-gregation! (Originally Released 10/26/2020) Buy Laci's book “Scam Goddess: Lessons from a Life of Cons, Grifts and Schemes": https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/laci-mosley/scam-goddess/9780762484652/?lens=running-press Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Conan O'Brien: @teamcoco Research by Sharilyn Vera. SOURCES: https://www.businessinsider.com/revisiting-jordan-belfort-the-wolf-of-wall-street-2010-3#who-is-jordan-belfort-1 https://www.investopedia.com/investing/who-is-jordan-belfort/ https://wealthlab.co/pump-and-dump-explained https://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/05/061205.asp https://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-library/white-collar-crime/jordan-belfort/ https://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/the-wolf-of-wall-street.php

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:19Laci Mosley?

  Ooh, What's Poppin' congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, and we are back with season two, season numero dos. Okay, of scam goddess, robbery, con, chicanery. And I am, say it with me, guys, I am very what? Excited. Okay, well, guys, I really, like, this is very, very, like, y'all are gonna lose y'all's shit, too. Okay, so, this man, honestly, truly, needs no introduction. I guess I could say you know him from his own show, Conan. But he's been in the industry making people laugh forever. He is an icon. He is the moment. Mr. Conan O'Brien, hi!

• 1:58Speaker 03

  Hey, Lacey, thank you so much for having me. This is very exciting.

• 2:01Laci Mosley?

  I'm so excited that you're here.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  You know what? I want to steal your intro to your podcast from my podcast. I don't know if it's gonna work for me to say, "What's Poppin' congregation."

• 2:09Laci Mosley?

  Ooh, I like it.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  But coming from me, how does it sound?

• 2:12Laci Mosley?

  It actually doesn't sound bad.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  What's Poppin' congregation?

• 2:15Laci Mosley?

  You don't even sound like a cop. You don't sound like an undercover cop at all.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  I sound like a guy who was a cop but was fired for just being drunk on the job.

• 2:24Laci Mosley?

  Right. Now he's trying to go rogue to get his job back.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 2:26Laci Mosley?

  It's not going well.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  I'm a mall cop now. Yeah, yeah.

• 2:29Laci Mosley?

  I have to say this first and foremost, Conan. I've always been obsessed with redheads.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:36Laci Mosley?

  Like, okay, I don't think it was weird, but when I was in college, like, if I would ever see like a redhead, like, on the street, on the bus, I went to school in Pittsburgh, I would just like take a little picture. And then my friend saw my phone once, and was like, why do you just have these pictures of these random redheaded white people? I was like, oh, I just like redheads. And she was like, this is weird.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  I love hearing this, because you know what? We feel persecuted, you know, redheads. We feel, it's weird. Like, I hated being a redhead. I had red hair and freckles growing up, and I hated it. I just, I felt, it felt so weird. And I remembered wanting black hair, you know, and I just, yeah, I just did. I wanted to, I think I wanted to look Cuban. It just wasn't happening. So, that's nice. That's nice that you have, you had, I guess, an obsession. Did I cure you of this obsession?

• 3:28Laci Mosley?

  No, I still do. So, when I saw you, I was like checking to see, it looks a little more strawberry right now.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's strawberry right now. It's getting burned out, too. Like, I've been out in the sun a lot. And it gets almost blonde sometimes.

• 3:40Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's looking a little blonde right now.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's getting long. It's COVID length, so.

• 3:45Laci Mosley?

  You have a nice head of hair, though. It's like full and nice. I feel bad for the guys who don't.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  I know.

• 3:50Laci Mosley?

  When they're hanging on. I'm like, you just either gotta take it full Vin Diesel, or like, I don't know, get a man weave. I'm okay with a man weave.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Well, what's wrong with getting a big fake wig if you're a man? I think men got away from that. Now, it's in now for men to completely shave it, which is fine. The other way to go, I think what I would do if I lost all my hair at this point, is I would go and buy a giant, giant Conan wig.

• 4:15Laci Mosley?

  Like comical wig.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Comical wig that looked, and everyone would know. And it has long sideburns that are flapping off the side. They're not stuck down. And sometimes I'm not paying attention, and it gets turned off to the side. But I don't care.

• 4:28Laci Mosley?

  I love this for you.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:29Laci Mosley?

  I love this. And then it's, the wig has its own personality, too. We're constantly worrying if it's gonna fall off.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  You can keep stuff in it. Yeah, I like it.

• 4:37Laci Mosley?

  Well, so Conan, do you have a relationship with scams? Like, have you ever been scammed? Have you?

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Yes, well, first of all, my, my most, I think, primary relationship with scams is, and I'm not, it sounds like a joke, but it's not, I really do think making a living in show business is a scam.

• 4:53Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah, absolutely.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  That is how I feel. I feel passionately about that, and I have felt for many, many years that I'm scamming a living, using my wits, or sometimes my lack of wit. I, I do think that being able to get paid to spout foolishness and to act like an ass is the ultimate scam. And I do think a lot of people, and you, maybe you can relate to this, but a lot of comedians feel like any day now, they're gonna be on to me. Any day now. That's how they feel. And I was having a conversation earlier today, I'm name dropping, but I was having a conversation with Kevin Hart, and he was talking about how he feels like at any second, it could

• 5:38Speaker 03

  be taken away. You know, that's how you feel in comedy, like you gotta keep it moving. And then I told him that for years, Chris Rock would come on my show, and he would sort of say, as the crowd was cheering for him to me, um, he would say, yeah, they're gonna, they're on to me soon. They're gonna be on to me. And it's Chris Rock, it's like the best people in the business.

• 6:00Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Everybody feels in comedy like we're barely getting away with this scam.

• 6:07Laci Mosley?

  I would agree with that. Um, especially because I guess my thing is, is like, I like scamming, so I'm like, oh, okay, I'm gonna keep getting away with this. Like, I'm like, let me try to do larger things with my brand of robbery. Uh, I recently, this'll come out in November, I believe, but I was an expert on a show on ABC about robberies and like scam artists, and they were like, the expert from Scam Goddess. I was like, yeah, yeah, me, an expert.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's right, I have my PhD in scamology.

• 6:37Laci Mosley?

  I do, I went to, uh, what university did I go to? Don't worry about it.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  No, don't think about that too much.

• 6:43Laci Mosley?

  I went to the one Shaquille O'Neal went to, Phoenix? Phoenix, uh, Eagle, Bald Eagle University, that's where I went.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  No, I got scammed once.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  And I did exactly what you shouldn't do. And this is a true story. I had just moved out to LA. I think I was 22 years old.

• 7:02Laci Mosley?

  Oh, love it.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  Pretty naive, cruising around town in a 1973 Plymouth Valiant that I bought from some surfer dudes. And at the time, that was a real old car. This is like 1986, 87, before you're born. And I go to my car and I'm about to drive someplace. And I see this guy down the street. And he is standing near a car. And he's looking upset. And remember, he was wearing a jacket and pants and slacks. He was well dressed.

• 7:38Laci Mosley?

  Is that, I was like, is that nice? Okay, a jacket, like a suit jacket?

• 7:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a suit jacket.

• 7:43Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Like a straight jacket.

• 7:44Laci Mosley?

  Jacket.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, this, that's what I'm saying. This guy was dressed like, maybe he sold insurance. Maybe he, you know, he had a job at the phone company. That's what he looked like.

• 7:54Laci Mosley?

  Okay, he making a little coin. He got an office.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, yeah. He looked legit. And that's, of course, doesn't mean anything. But he was standing next to this car. And he was looking frustrated and pacing in front of the car. And I like to think of myself as a nice person. And, and he said, can you help me out? And I said, what's up? And he said, my battery is just completely dead on my car. And I went, oh, okay, well, I've got jumper cables. We can jump. And he went, no, it's really dead. It's completely dead. It's not gonna jump. I just need to get a new battery. And I'm so stuck because I gotta get to this meeting. And I went, uh huh. And he said, um, you know, can you help me out? I need to buy a battery. It costs about 40 bucks.

• 8:37Laci Mosley?

  Forty?

• 8:38Speaker 03

  I don't know, yeah. I don't know what it cost. I'm thinking.

• 8:41Laci Mosley?

  I feel like a battery now is like 150.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Uh, maybe this is a long time ago. I don't know what it was. It wasn't that much.

• 8:48Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  It wasn't that much. It was like 40, 45 dollars.

• 8:51Laci Mosley?

  Okay, so a reason, like money you could have had on you.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. So he said, I need to get this battery. And I said, oh, well. And what he wanted was just the money. And me being a naive guy, I said, I'll drive you to Pep Boys.

• 9:05Laci Mosley?

  Oh.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  So I let the guy in the car with me. And I drove him to Pep Boys. And I gave him the money. And he clearly wasn't happy. This isn't the way he wanted it to go.

• 9:17Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  So he went into the Pep Boys because I said, I'll wait for you.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  And he's in the Pep Boys for a really long time and then he comes out and he says, "Yeah, they don't have the battery here. I gotta pick it up downtown, "but I gave them the money, so I guess we're all set. Thanks. Thanks a lot, man. I appreciate it." And now I knew I've been scammed, but I was real stubborn, so I said, "That's okay. I'll drive you to the place downtown where they have the battery."

• 9:50Laci Mosley?

  Conan, you petty!

• 9:51Speaker 03

  No, I'm petty. I'm petty and I'm also, I'm an asshole, but I'm mad and I'm being real stubborn. So he gets, and he looks like, "What the fuck? Just let me have the money."

• 10:01Laci Mosley?

  No, get back in the car!

• 10:03Speaker 03

  And first of all, they don't have the battery at Pep Boys?

• 10:05Laci Mosley?

  They need a double A battery. They haven't had triple A batteries for the car.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  So he gets in the car with me and we drive downtown and he doesn't know where he's going. He's just making it up and he goes, "Oh yeah, it's around here and I think it's over there where the battery is." And I said to him, we're both sitting there in the car, and I said, "We both know. "We both know that there's no place you're not gonna pick up a battery." And he went, "Yeah, I am. Yeah, I am." And I went, "Just tell me." I said, "Just tell me you scammed me and I'll, I'll drop the whole thing and you can keep the money." And he went, and he said, "I didn't scam you." And I said, "Just tell me you scam me and you can keep the money." And he said, "I didn't scam you." And I said, "Toe, tell me you scam me and you can keep the money." And so he said, "Okay, I scammed you." And I said, "I want my money back." He was like, "Fuck you!" And I'm in the car with him!

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Like, he could have a knife, he could have a gun. What the fuck was I doing? That was crazy. So I let him, he left. I don't know what that was all about. Petty. I was petty.

• 11:01Laci Mosley?

  Petty LaBelle. Petty Pendergrass. That's who we have here. I love that you immediately like now have this relationship with this man where like, "You picked him up, drove him to the Pep Boys. He's like, 'I'm sorry, they don't got the battery I need.'" And you're like, "Get back in the car, James. We're going downtown. This isn't over."

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then we're circling around. He's like, "Uh, I think it's on this street here." Not consulting any, any number or address. No, I was stupid. I was stupid.

• 11:30Laci Mosley?

  I don't know if you were stupid, because this isn't stupid behavior. You knew you were getting scammed. What I think, I guess you could say the stupid part is like, what if this man was potentially dangerous?

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Well, yeah.

• 11:39Laci Mosley?

  But obviously he wasn't, because I feel like a dangerous person wouldn't have even put on by going into the Pep Boys and spending a lot of time in there. He would have just been like, "Look, I'm keeping the money. I keep the money," and then walks away.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  You know, I also think... His scam was so elaborate pacing up and down in front of a car that I don't even think was his and the hood's not popped and then saying, I need a new battery, but I need the money for it. I honestly think if he had just said, I need $40, I don't have it, give it to me, maybe he'd have a better chance than this battery, but I don't know.

• 12:14Laci Mosley?

  It depends. Some people, I took a psychology course where I learned that if you give people an excuse, it truly doesn't matter what it is. A lot of times you can get your way. Like people want the excuse and that's what makes you feel good because in the world, there's never an act that's truly altruistic because anything you're doing, you're getting something in return. So like if I'm giving to someone, I get to feel like, oh, I gave to the people today. I'm gonna sleep good. When y'all post your Black Lives Matter black squares, you'd be like, whoo, did enough solving racism for today.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  I solved racism. I put up my cardboard sign.

• 12:47Laci Mosley?

  Where's the parade? I will be in front. So, you know, I mean, he had a good hustle. I appreciate him having props, you know, like he found a car on the side of the road. He was giving you.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  You know what I can't believe he did? What I can't believe he did was when he came out of the Pep Boys, this is the part that's the transition moment. When he comes out of the Pep Boys and he has my, let's say it was more, maybe let's say it was $60. I don't know. Let's say it was $60 and he has it in his pocket. When he comes out and he's got the money in his pocket and I'm in my car and I say, and he says, well, it's downtown. It's not here because he's clearly not carrying a battery.

• 13:25Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  That's my cue. I mean, that's, that's his cue to tell me to fuck off when I say, come with me and I'll take you downtown.

• 13:35Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  But instead he's like, there's something wrong with this guy. He's either the stupid.

• 13:40Laci Mosley?

  Cause he wasn't a hardened criminal. You might've caught him in the beginning of his criminal enterprise.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's probably a much better criminal now.

• 13:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm sure after you, he was like, okay, no more rides to the location. I gotta stay by my prop car. I gotta keep doing my lines.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  Yes. He learned a lot. You know what I think? I feel good because I think I helped him a lot.

• 13:58Laci Mosley?

  You helped him step his game up for sure.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's. Never, he never got into a car with another idiot like me again. So whoever you are out there, if you're listening, probably driving someone else's car right now, listening to this podcast, you're welcome. I'm glad I could help you.

• 14:13Laci Mosley?

  Right. He was also way too chill from like pet boys to like, okay, well, bye now. Like, you don't need to go back to your car? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know what highway I left at home.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he was definitely a scam. I like him though. Also though, Conan, now I feel like this is gonna be an interesting trip because you seem very suspicious of scammers and I love that you didn't just take the L. You were like, no, get in the car. We will get you a car.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no. I, I don't, uh, if someone's taken advantage of me, there's some part of me that can't let it go. I'm one of those people that I'm not happy to just go, well, he's, you know, I got tricked. I got scammed. There's part of me, I'm one of those people who, when I'm older and confused and I get one of those calls on the phone that says a relative is in jail in South America and I send some money, you know, down to Bolivia, you know, so that I can get my-

• 15:05Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's where they are. That's where I'm from.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  I will then take a plane to Bolivia. And when I realize that they scam me out of $2,000, I'll spend $20,000 walking the streets of Bolivia to find the person who pretended that they were my grand niece or grand nephew.

• 15:26Laci Mosley?

  I appreciate the dedication. This is gonna be fun because I'm the exact opposite. I got robbed the other day. Um, somebody came into my garage, opened my car doors and just stole mass shit out of my car. They stole some speakers. They stole, uh, my deodorant. I keep a little emergency deodorant.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Wait a minute, why would someone steal deodorant?

• 15:46Laci Mosley?

  That's when I realized, I was like, this might have been someone from the unhoused community. They probably needed this stuff more than I did. They also-

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Was it roll on or spray on?

• 15:53Laci Mosley?

  It was like, it was just one of those tiny little secrets from, you know, like an airplane.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Right, but is it skin to skin?

• 15:59Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 16:01Laci Mosley?

  I know. That's why I was like, they must really need it. And, and you know, the crazy-

• 16:05Speaker 03

  They're picking your armpit hair out of-

• 16:09Laci Mosley?

  And listen, I have a fresh pit, okay? So you know, I just keep that in my car, cuz I'm

• 16:13Speaker 03

  That's one of the first things I noticed about you when you walked in today.

• 16:16Laci Mosley?

  What's my fresh pits?

• 16:17Speaker 03

  I shouted out, "Fresh pits!"

• 16:19Laci Mosley?

  I was like, that's the only kind of catcalling I will take is people yelling about how fresh my pits are. I'm like, yes, I lifted it up for y'all, give you a show.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  I was like, wow! Fresh pits!

• 16:28Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, thank you! Thank you, Conan! No, but the only thing that was petty about this was, so they stole all the shit in my car, right?

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:35Laci Mosley?

  And immediately when I realized I had been robbed, I was like, damn, they got me. And I was more appreciative that they didn't break my windows. I guess I left my door unlocked by accident, so I was like, thank y'all for not breaking my shit. And they left me some armor oil wipes for my seats. So then I was like, damn, I should get my car detailed because these robbers just told me that my car needs to be cleaned.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, when a robber is saying, "You gotta clean this shit up," you know you've got a bad car.

• 16:58Laci Mosley?

  They were like, "And, okay, so we did rob you, but also we're gonna leave you these Daiso armor oil wipes so that you can clean your fucking car up."

• 17:05Speaker 03

  And a fresh mint on the dashboard.

• 17:07Laci Mosley?

  Right, with your dirty ass. And we didn't even enjoy robbing you. I was like, okay.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Wait, so they, they, it sounds like they didn't take too much, but they took your speakers? They, did they pry them out of the car?

• 17:17Laci Mosley?

  Oh, so not the car speakers. They said the, um, I had a speaker cuz I would go, I would go to the beach and like, you know, during COVID, um, a private silent beach, uh, by myself. And so I'd bring my speakers. And I think I had some other beach stuff, so they just stole the whole bag. They stole my deodorant, they stole my sunglasses, and then that was it. That was all I had in the car.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  I don't like it.

• 17:37Laci Mosley?

  No, that was the second time I got robbed. And honestly, this time, I was like, this is more cute cuz y'all actually stole some stuff. Because the first time, I had my window smashed in, in a garage at my friend's place. They smashed my damn window in, I was doing sketch comedy, I had a bunch of fucking wigs in the back of my car. I looked like a serial killer. They didn't steal anything. In fact, they threw some of the wigs on the ground.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  You know what? When people don't steal your stuff, that's insulting.

• 17:57Laci Mosley?

  That hurt me. It hurt me. I wanted to find them, cuz we had them on tape. I just wanted to talk. Like, why, you didn't like my wigs? Yeah, they're synthetic, but they have use.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  I think when someone smashes your car window, looks inside and says, "I'm good." That's the worst. Because now you have to buy a new car window, and they didn't even take anything.

• 18:19Laci Mosley?

  They didn't. But I got lucky because I ended up getting scammed. Well, not scammed. I scammed the government because a government truck hit one side of my car, the old car, and they had to pay for the whole side to be redone. So window, windshield, everything.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  You should have started to walk around with a limp.

• 18:35Laci Mosley?

  I should have. I wasn't in the car, and they knew that.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Damn it.

• 18:38Laci Mosley?

  But I did, as soon as I saw it was messed up, try to limp towards it.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  That doesn't work. You smashed your car when I wasn't in it. I was asleep next door.

• 18:48Laci Mosley?

  No, my head whipped when I heard the crash, and then I have a whiplash of my neck from the crash.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  So I need $800,000 immediately.

• 18:55Laci Mosley?

  Immediately, in small bills.

• 18:59Speaker 04

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• 21:02Laci Mosley?

  Oh, wow. What a warm up here. Oh, lovely. Let's get into our first segment. Hot in fraud. So this is where I'm going to talk to Conan about one of your letters. Oh, as always, if you want to tell us about your friends and family, snitch on your relatives and yourself, [email protected]. I will leave your name out and I'll even delete your email. If the Statue of Limitations is not up, I won't turn you into the feds. I knew nothing. So today we have a letter. I need a name, Conan. What do you want to name this person?

• 21:30Speaker 03

  Uh, is it man or woman?

• 21:32Laci Mosley?

  I believe it's probably someone who identifies as a man.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  Okay, uh, let's just call him Gustav.

• 21:37Laci Mosley?

  Gustav, okay. Gustav says, Dear Scam Goddess, here's a scam I witnessed about 30 years ago. In the early 90s, I was a security guard at the grain elevator on waterfront here in Vancouver. So that's where they like have grains, I guess, and they move the grains around, whatever town. One day, when I show up to work, my manager was there with two guys I'd never seen before, who were standing beside an old van. My boss explained to me that I was to do my job as per usual, but that these two guys were allowed to go wherever they wanted inside the plant. This was very unusual, as most of the time, there would be few people around. I was required to look around and search the building and make sure that people weren't inside. Um, yeah, and then the manager explained to him that the guys were there to catch pigeons. So pigeons.

• 22:20Laci Mosley?

  I was like, so I guess it's a grain plant, so the birds, you know, try to pull up, and we know that pigeons are nature's rats. Um, I recently did like a pigeon, though. They caught a pigeon with a backpack of molly on it. And I was like, oh, that's a drug pigeon. I like that pigeon.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, wait, the pigeon had a little backpack?

• 22:39Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  And it was a drug pigeon?

• 22:40Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm. It had molly in it.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  That's fantastic.

• 22:43Laci Mosley?

  I like that pigeon, cuz I'm like, that pigeon's employed.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Well, the pigeon's working. A lot of pigeons don't do anything. They hang out at the park.

• 22:49Laci Mosley?

  Exactly.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  They shit on statues, which now it turns out they were right.

• 22:53Laci Mosley?

  They were right.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Statues, those statues needed to come down. If you think about it, the pigeons were way out in front of everybody.

• 22:59Laci Mosley?

  You're right. Maybe pigeons are getting, no, no, they're nasty. I can't, I wanna give them, I can't.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  They're awful.

• 23:05Laci Mosley?

  They're the rats of the sky. I'm sorry, pigeons, fight me. Actually, I shouldn't say that cuz the last time I cut that some pigeons went shit on my glasses and then I washed them and they broke. Anyway.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  No one's gonna be stealing those glasses.

• 23:18Laci Mosley?

  Nope. Now, being the building, now being a building with massive conveyor belts, silos, moving and storing grain, the building had a constant pest problem. Two main pests were rats and pigeons. Same thing to me, one just flies. There were designated pest control people that they hired, but the manager always seemed to be trying to find ways to cut corners on the price. At one point, the managers hired someone we all affectionately called the Rat Lady. Because they thought they could do pest control as well as she did, they ended up firing the Rat Lady. And the rat problem got so out of control that they had to hire Rat Lady back again.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Gustav, takes a while to get to the point.

• 23:57Laci Mosley?

  He does.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  And Gustav, I love you and I always have. And I love Vancouver and you guys are the best. But you've got to get to the actual scam.

• 24:07Laci Mosley?

  So I'm actually gonna paraphrase a little bit of Gustav's letter cuz it is long, but I do appreciate it. But I did, I did need to read about the Rat Lady cuz I'm like, who, how does she, how would she qualify for this job? Why does she show up? It was just like, hey, I got a rat problem. I like rats.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  I think that's all you have to do if, I mean, any of us could go to any house and say, you got rats? And if they do, I'll take care of them. Chances are they'll let you. Right?

• 24:33Laci Mosley?

  I guess so.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Who needs to see a certificate at that point?

• 24:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, is there a certificate for rat catching? I'm not sure. Uh, so they hire a rat lady back, but you know, at the same time, they're like, is there a way that we could still not pay someone? And they would round up these rats. So in come these two buffoons who say that they're here to catch pigeons. The reason why they want to catch pigeons is because they said that some of these are prize pigeons. And they'll have leg tags and they can find the prize pigeon and contact their owner for details. Which I was like, there's no such thing as a prize pigeon. That's like a prize turd. There's no prize pigeon. Where, where, what competition would they be doing?

• 25:10Speaker 03

  This shows how little you know about pigeons.

• 25:12Laci Mosley?

  I know nothing about them and I hate them.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Some pigeons are just absolutely, uh, you know, they're just primed. They're just triple A, they're, they're best. There are great pigeons out there and if you find the right one, they're worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

• 25:25Laci Mosley?

  Are you kidding with me? Are you serious?

• 25:27Speaker 03

  I'm scanning you, yes.

• 25:29Laci Mosley?

  I was about to believe you because I truly don't know about the pigeon industry, but I guess, child.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  There's no industry, there's no pigeon industry.

• 25:35Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  What are you talking about? I'm unaware of this pigeon industry.

• 25:40Laci Mosley?

  There could be, I don't know a lot of things and I don't pretend to know everything for sure. Sometimes I do though, I love to pretend. So as I did my rounds over the next several shifts, I didn't pay attention to these guys. Uh, he goes on to say basically the whole time that they were laying, they were laying little nets on the ground. Which is that how you catch a pigeon? You put a net on the ground? Don't you need to put a net in the sky? I don't know anything about pigeons again. Um, so they're laying down all these nets and basically what they're really doing is casing the joint. And since they're allowed into any part of the building because they're looking for the pigeons that could apparently be anywhere. They robbed the place. They steal all the computers and all the electronics and one day, uh, they don't catch any pigeons and they never return again.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Okay, so I have one comment about this, Gustav, which is I think these guys put way too much work into robbing this grain elevator. I, I think pretending to be pigeon catchers and casing the joint for pigeons and putting down nets for pigeons. Just, it's a grain elevator. Wait till it's nighttime. Smash open the door with a sledgehammer and take everything.

• 26:46Laci Mosley?

  Hmm.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Why did they need to go through all of this? Yes, we catcher the pigeon. I don't know why I'm suddenly making them have a fake Italian accent.

• 26:54Laci Mosley?

  They probably were.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, we catcher the pigeon. We catcher the, you know, like, but why? Why, why do they have to go through all of that? Don't you think they overdid it a little bit?

• 27:02Laci Mosley?

  I mean, look.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  They're not robbing Fort Knox. They're not robbing Citibank. They acted like, how do we crack this grain elevator? How do we get in there? I don't know. It's a grain elevator. Probably not that well protected.

• 27:16Laci Mosley?

  But think about it. You could do it like you rob it at night. You do a smash and grab. Or you could get cute and have an Ocean's Eleven moment. Y'all get some costumes. Y'all have some production value.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  So you think there was, you think there was someone in a van with headphones on as part of the scam? Cause there always is in any Ocean Eleven, right? Looking at 3D graphics saying, go left, go right, plant the pigeon net.

• 27:37Laci Mosley?

  And just typing very vigorously, like hacking into the mainframe.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 27:41Laci Mosley?

  Oh, a firewall came up. You know how it is.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:45Laci Mosley?

  But it only takes five minutes, no matter how hard.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  I love it if it took, if it was 15 people and they had spent a year. And it was a very elaborate plot that involved all of them wearing costumes and pretending to be pigeon catchers. And they got, uh, let's just conservatively say $6,000 worth of grain elevator computer equipment.

• 28:04Laci Mosley?

  I just love that. I, I wouldn't imagine that the pigeons would be in the same room with the computers considering. It's like, they were like, no, no, no, no, no, we need to get into the break room. And also where's the safe? Cause the pigeons love safes and money.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 28:17Laci Mosley?

  That's pigeons' favorite thing.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Right. Or the pigeons watch a lot of online pornography. We need to see the computers. They watch a lot of pigeon porn.

• 28:24Laci Mosley?

  They watch a lot of pigeon porn. You'd be surprised at how nasty it is too, okay?

• 28:30Laci Mosley?

  You ain't seen two, two pigeons, one seed?

• 28:33Speaker 03

  I don't know. I'm.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  Gustav, uh, yeah, they overdid it. They overdid it, but God bless them. They had a plan. They had a lot. They showed a lot of imagination.

• 28:43Laci Mosley?

  I mean, yeah, I, I thought it was cute. Um, and they got to rob somebody in a very chill fashion. You know what I mean? It seems like they just slowly uploaded all the computers into their van and drove away. I love a chill robbery where you can take a break, drink some water, you know, continue to rob. Uh, I think that's great.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Right. Maybe, maybe bake something. Make some muffins.

• 29:02Laci Mosley?

  Have a snack, continue to rob. All right. This is my favorite segment of the show. You guys know historic hoodwinks. And I'm really excited for today's story. I'm going to regale Conan with a famous con and we're going to get his opinions all throughout. You feel free to interrupt, feel free to ask questions.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Oh, I am going to interrupt and I am going to have questions.

• 29:21Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I may or may not have the answer to. Sometimes I simply will say, I don't know. Sometimes I'll Google it. Sometimes I just like to torture the listeners and make them Google it on their own and shout at the radio. You guys have radios anymore? Your phone? I guess. All right, guys. Uh, historic hoodwinks today is about a very famous guy. Does the name Jordan Belfort ring a bell?

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:41Laci Mosley?

  Yes. So Jordan Belfort is former Wall Street trader who conned his way into earning hundreds of millions of dollars in the 19s. In a nineties kinda world, I scam all my girls. That was Jordan scamming the girls. Yes. Uh, he was found guilty of crimes related to stock market manipulation. Uh, if you don't know, there's a movie based off of him called The Wolf of Wall Street.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Leonardo DiCaprio plays, uh, Jordan Belfort.

• 30:07Laci Mosley?

  Yes. And we're not gonna get into that too much, but Jordan actually did spend time with Leonardo, like teaching him how Quaaludes felt and all types of stuff. So he was very.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  I think, uh, Leo knew.

• 30:20Laci Mosley?

  Uh, he was like, no, just show me again. Show me again. Oh yeah. That's how I am if my parents ask about any drugs. I'm like, I've never seen that in person.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Is that Advil?

• 30:31Laci Mosley?

  Right, I don't even take that. So Jordan Belfort grew up in New York, which is one of the prime enterprises of scamming, particularly Brooklyn. That's what we like to call the Silicon Valley of scams. There's a lot of hood dudes walking around in black turtlenecks robbing people. It's beautiful. And then the origination of scams is Nigeria. That's where, you know, scams were really born and innovated and cultivated.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Really?

• 30:55Laci Mosley?

  In my opinion.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  Is that on the, oh, that's in your opinion? That's not, I see.

• 30:58Laci Mosley?

  I state my opinions as fact a lot.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  So that's what Nigeria has brought us is the scam.

• 31:04Laci Mosley?

  Omo Nigeria, you know what I mean? We've got the relationship scams, the grandma scams, the military scams. Even during COVID, American company, you know, the American government had to pay out a few very sneaky Nigerians who got on payroll out here and were filing for unemployment for other people who were employed. You know, brilliant, absolutely brilliant. So shout out to Nigeria and also shout out to New York and Brooklyn. So that's where Jordan Belfort grew up. He loved business from an early age. He knew he was gonna be a businessman. According to his memoir, The Wolf of Wall Street, Belfort worked with a friend to sell Italian ice at a Styrofoam cup coolers near the beach at his childhood home. In the summer months between high school and college, he said he made $20,000 slanging ice and juice. Do we believe that?

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Uh, I bet, I bet, you know, people really like that ice and juice. And if it gets hot, you'll pay anything for ice and juice. If you're on the beach and you don't have it. So yes, I believe he made a lot of money doing that. And he probably should have stuck to that.

• 32:01Laci Mosley?

  Right, he could have been the hottest Italian ice salesman out here. But, you know, Belfort studied biology at American University with plans to enroll in dental school, using the money he had saved from his earlier Italiano ice venture. So he took the Italian ice coin and he moved up to the mouth game, which is what I call being a dentist.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  The mouth game?

• 32:23Laci Mosley?

  The mouth game.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:24Laci Mosley?

  Get in that mouth. So however, when the dean of students at dentistry warned students at the first day of class, he said dentistry is not a path to financial success. And Belfort dropped out.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  So that's interesting. He went into dentistry because he thought that's where all the money is?

• 32:43Laci Mosley?

  Hey, if you had a dental emergency, that shit ain't cheap.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  I know, but I just think that if that was your primary interest, it's just so, I can just picture him learning at the end. It's a good thing he didn't learn at the end of dental school. After like three years. Wait a minute.

• 32:58Laci Mosley?

  But also, who is this dean? Like, I feel like I'm not gonna pull up to the classroom like day one, like, "What's up, students? Just want y'all to know that not only will these loans stay with you, you ain't gonna make no money in the mouth game, so you better be ready to be poor."

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, technically, they should say that at the beginning of every philosophy class.

• 33:16Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  English class, everything.

• 33:19Laci Mosley?

  But see, you can do something with those careers. You just have to know that it's not gonna be what you're learning.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 33:25Laci Mosley?

  Like, if you're an English major, you need to be a con artist or a teacher. Those are your lanes. I was a marketing major, which I've used to market and also to scam. All my psychology classes, I learned so much about people and how to get what you want from them. I try not to be evil, though. I do.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Have you scammed me already today? You probably have.

• 33:44Laci Mosley?

  How do you think you got here, Conan?

• 33:48Speaker 03

  That's so funny. I went to sleep last night and I woke up and I was here.

• 33:51Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm. And I was like, "You're supposed to be here. Don't ask no questions."

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm wearing someone else's clothes.

• 33:57Laci Mosley?

  They look good on you.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 33:59Laci Mosley?

  So...

• 34:00Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful dress.

• 34:01Laci Mosley?

  He was like, "You're gonna be poor." A beautiful dress. He was like, "You're gonna be poor." So he was like, oh, Belfort was like, "Bye." Okay, so he left, decided he wasn't gonna join the mouth game after all. Instead, he went into business of selling meat with his friend, Kenny Green, after becoming a top meat salesman.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Cause that's where the money is.

• 34:21Laci Mosley?

  I feel like he was probably headed to more money in dentistry than he were slanging sausage on the corner. So, but he became the top meat salesman. No one was slanging more meat than Jordan Belfort. And I know how that sounds, and I intended it. So he takes this money and he starts selling penny stocks at a place called Investor Center. Does Investor Center sound like a place you would give money to?

• 34:45Speaker 03

  It sounds like a quick sign you would make and stick up on a, it's Investor Center. Come on in. Just put your money here and we'll double it.

• 34:54Laci Mosley?

  Right. That sounds like Rent a Center. Like, I don't think I want to just, I don't think I want to gamble at any place that's got center in it.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, no, it's not good.

• 35:02Laci Mosley?

  Feels like not, you know, feels a little lowbudge, but penny stocks are companies who cannot be listed on the NASDAQ because they're too small and trade for under $1. Jordan would make 50% commission on any given trade. His boss told him that the keys to success were masturbation, cocaine, and hookers. We don't use the term hookers anymore. We say sex workers, but this is a quote. So he said those were the keys to success.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Wait a minute. Help me out here. How is masturbation a key to success?

• 35:29Laci Mosley?

  Um.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  It doesn't feel, it feels like.

• 35:32Laci Mosley?

  What does it feel like?

• 35:37Speaker 03

  That didn't, that didn't go the way I wanted it to. Let's just say, um, I don't see how, uh, yeah. I don't see how that's a money-making proposition.

• 35:46Laci Mosley?

  I mean, if time is money.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  The other two seem like you could, yeah, you could make money. You could make money as a sex worker and you could make good money selling cocaine.

• 35:53Laci Mosley?

  True.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Masturbation, I, if you could get paid for masturbation, man, I'd have paid off my college loans seven times over.

• 36:02Laci Mosley?

  With just a sock.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. For God's sake.

• 36:06Laci Mosley?

  Ah, you took it there. Um, so I had to jump off the clip. So masturbation, I guess he's saying like, you know, spend all your time, uh, you know, you, you wank it real quick and you get back to work, you know, you're not too focused on, uh.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  I see. I see. It clears the mind.

• 36:19Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. And then cocaine, you're really awake, so you stay working. And then I don't, I don't know how the, uh, sex workers factor in there, but he says that's gonna help you. So after doing well there, Belfort bought out a small firm called the Stratton Securities. This out, and that Stratton Securities sounds way more legit than what?

• 36:34Speaker 03

  That sounds good. Welcome to Stratton Securities.

• 36:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I would give my money to them. Yeah. Investment Center still sounds like robbery, robbery time.

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• 37:17Speaker 05

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• 38:07Speaker 05

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• 38:46Laci Mosley?

  So this is where things go south. This is where things start to get south for Jordan Belfort. Gets a little messy. Pumping down. Stratton Oakmart practiced dishonest tactics in order to sell underperforming stocks, typically penny stocks, to unsuspecting victims. And this is my favorite part. So the company's employees would often, you know, say lies. I like to say, say lies.

• 39:06Speaker 03

  As opposed to just lie?

• 39:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, no. Say lies. They would say lies to people. You know how you do. You give people lies. And they would also give misleading claims to investors to sell more stocks and drive up the price of the shares. The scheme was also initiated by a wrong number scam. And this is my favorite thing. So basically, they would call a number and be like, hey. Like, I call your phone. And I'm like, hey, Patricia, it's me, your investment, your stockbroker from something Stratton Securities. Uh, yeah, just calling you on my lunch break to tell you about a very spicy, hot stock tip that I have that will make you a multimillionaire. Call me back, definitely, Tricia. And then you would get enticed by that.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  And you would think, okay, they called me by accident, but now I have this insider information.

• 39:51Laci Mosley?

  Right. So you also have to be someone who wants to get over a little bit, which I like targeting these types of people because it's that Despo meter is what we call it. Like, how desperate are you? Like, you know what I mean? You have to constantly assess how desperate you are before you make decisions. Because sometimes you'll ignore red flags because you're like, I really need this. Right?

• 40:09Speaker 03

  I've got to have it.

• 40:10Laci Mosley?

  Right. So if you already think you're doing something shady because they called you and it was a call meant for somebody else, you're a little bit more likely to go with the flow of the con.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:19Laci Mosley?

  You know what I mean? Like, when you were talking about earlier, how actors and performers, it kind of feels like we're scamming a bit. Listen, I had some jobs where I was like, either I'm gonna get murdered or I'm gonna get $250. And guess what? I'm gonna see what happens.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  I got a 50/50 chance. And that's worth $250.

• 40:38Laci Mosley?

  So, yes, I will meet you on the alley. On the alley, not even in the alley, on the alley. You know, and hopefully it's a legitimate deal. So that's not, you know, it's not that bizarre. So they would call back and be like, mm, what is this about Stratton Securities? And then they would get roped into this con. Okay, so all while Stratton already owned shares in companies that they were trading. So they were trading shares that they already owned to other people. Um, when their schemes led to a higher share price, they would then sell their holdings and walk away with a hefty profit. The stock prices would then collapse and the investors in turn would lose their money. So they would use the investors, they would buy stock, then use the investors to be like, hey, this stock is popping. Get in, get in. And then as soon as they get the stock price up, they would withdraw all their money.

• 41:23Laci Mosley?

  And all the poor investors.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, but this is my question. Uh, well, first my, I want to ask, it feels like all investing is gambling, really, okay?

• 41:33Laci Mosley?

  But classy, pinky up gambling.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's pinky up gambling, but it really isn't. It's still gambling, so, uh, I don't know. This feels like, um, if they're leaving you a wrong number about a stock and you're following up on it. Is that really a crime? I mean, uh, is that illegal?

• 41:54Laci Mosley?

  Eh, that part isn't illegal. What's illegal is them inflating the stock prices and then leaving these investors high and dry. However, you should know if you enter a shady situation already shadily, like if the first step.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Exactly. It's the first step is you saying, I got this information. Uh, I wasn't supposed to get this information. That call was meant for somebody else. They've already morally compromised you a little bit, which you're right. Probably the psychology is if you've already been morally compromised a little bit, you'll go further than you normally would.

• 42:24Laci Mosley?

  You won't ask as many questions. If you get an answer machine message and it's like, hey, Martha Stewart, it's us. You're like, mm, what's Martha getting into?

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:33Laci Mosley?

  Um, and so, yeah, that's how you get caught up. So the office culture there, Belfort wouldn't hire anyone who was already a broker or well educated because they would know too much. So.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  That's what I, that's my hiring practice. I don't want anybody who's well educated or very smart around me because I don't want them to know what an idiot I am. And it works.

• 42:52Laci Mosley?

  This is beautiful. So you're just hiring people wherever from off the street like, hey, would you like to work in securities?

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Yes, I actually try and find people who I can tell are are fools and idiots. I just, I've spent a lot of time doing that.

• 43:08Laci Mosley?

  Well, you're very talented then, because I can never tell if somebody's a fool right off the bat. I need some time with them. And then if I do find that out, I get closer, number.

• 43:18Laci Mosley?

  So, so he's like probably pulling up to the McDonald's like, yeah, let me get a number three with some fries. And also, have you considered a career in securities? Yeah, no, no, no, no, take that apron off and get into my call.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 43:31Laci Mosley?

  So this is how he's hiring people because they won't know any better. So he hired people with a high school diploma and teenagers who wanted a shot at making big money because they would ultimately pledge their loyalty to him. They were known as his Stratton Knights.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 43:46Laci Mosley?

  Sounds like a girl group.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  He's creating, the Stratton Knights, he's creating a sense of community. He's creating like almost a gang mentality of getting these people that are, all right, we're young. We're going to completely devote ourselves to you. Smart.

• 43:59Laci Mosley?

  And scammers know, a lot of scammers have a cult-like energy to them because it's a cult of personality. They're very good at being charismatic and throwing you off your game. And then you're kind of looking at this person like everything they're saying must be true. Like you're drawn to them. So this is definitely a cult-like atmosphere that he made. You know, I'm sure he had somebody mixing up the Kool-Aid in the back. I hope it was red flavored. So.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  It's really the only flavor, when you think about it.

• 44:25Laci Mosley?

  Very, very nutritious, riboflavin. So the firm's motto was, don't hang up until the client buys or dies. I like that.

• 44:37Laci Mosley?

  It also involves murder. No, so I think that's very funny. So it's like you're going to harass this person until they buy or until they die. I guess in the 90s you could do this kind of shit because if you call me and I don't know your number, I'm not even going to pick up in the first place.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  I know, that's what one of these things, one of the problems now is the technology's changed. You used to be able to cold call people, I think, much more easily.

• 44:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and at dinnertime, and I learned that cold callers used to, like they even stepped their game up when it started to get inconvenient for people or when people started to guess with caller ID. They'd be like, hey, is Connor in? No, no, no, tell him it's Lacey, tell him it's Lacey. And then you get on the phone, I'm like, hey Connor, what's up? Are you satisfied with your internet service provider?

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Yes, I am.

• 45:18Laci Mosley?

  Okay, boy, you're so crazy. You're so crazy. So who is it and how much are you paying a month?

• 45:23Speaker 03

  I don't know. I want to be with you now. I like your energy. I like your tone.

• 45:28Laci Mosley?

  Yes, you can be with me for the low, low cost of $39.95 a month.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  I'll give you more. I'll give you $49.99 a month, and I'll do it right now.

• 45:35Laci Mosley?

  See, I miss, I miss, I think I could have done well at telemarketing. But I think you could have done poorly at answering to telemarketers.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  We would have been a good combo. I would have given you anything.

• 45:47Laci Mosley?

  You'd be my only customer. I'm like, uh, how are you making so much money off one person? He wants more services, y'all.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Conan's calling me now. Is Lacey there? I want to give her more money.

• 45:58Laci Mosley?

  That's, that's why I want my life to, at some point, it has to be that, that specific thing.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  I gave Lacey my Amex, but I want to give her my MasterCard as well. Is she there?

• 46:07Laci Mosley?

  Yes. That's how I learn people's personalities, is you give me your credit card number and I learn a lot about you.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Okay, that's cool. I like that.

• 46:15Laci Mosley?

  So the office mentality is also that, like, it's like a cult-like atmosphere. They're partying. Was kind of infused into the corporate culture. It was filled with drugs, sex workers, gambling, which was all billed to the company card. Like the film depicts, they actually did pay a female employee $10,000 to shave off her blonde hair, which she used to get decupped breast implants. Seems like a fair shake.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Good investment, sure. The hair will grow back.

• 46:42Laci Mosley?

  And then you got breasts out of it. So drugs. It was known that Belfort was very into drugs. He used everything from cocaine, ecstasy, marijuana, but Quaaludes were Jordan's favorite, which is like a drug that doesn't exist anymore. But Quaaludes are often described as something between a sleeping pill and a sedative. And Jordan Belfort's Quaalude escapades caused him to nearly crash his helicopter in the front yard. He was closing one eye because he was seeing double. You know how you fly a helicopter.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is a good word to get out right now. When you're flying your helicopter and trying to land it on your front yard, you gotta use both eyes.

• 47:16Laci Mosley?

  He's like, no, I got it. I got it. I feel like that's also like, what is this, Call of Duty? Like, this is not a video game, bruh. Like, it's a helicopter. You can't be doing that. He also caused, it also caused him to sink his 167-foot yacht. It sank off the coast of Italy when Beaufort, who was high at the time, insisted that the captain take the boat through a storm. And shout-outs, I guess, being rich because I'm not about to let you Titanic my ass. If I was on that boat, we're not going through a storm.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  No, no. When, when a guy's on Quaaludes and you're a captain, you don't do what he says. Doesn't matter, even if it's his boat.

• 47:50Laci Mosley?

  Why are we listening to the high guy? I don't know. I don't know how that worked out. Also, he probably wouldn't even remember if you didn't go through the storm, because he's high.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Yep. It's those Italian yacht captains. They always let you down.

• 48:02Laci Mosley?

  A disgrace. So, he got in his car and he drove to the payphone, and suddenly he felt the drugs kick in. This is another time that he's doing Quaaludes. Next thing he knows, he's parked in front of his house in the Mercedes. This was in the movie where his Mercedes-

• 48:12Speaker 03

  It's a really funny scene in the movie, actually.

• 48:13Laci Mosley?

  It is so funny.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  It's a great scene.

• 48:15Laci Mosley?

  He's fucked up, uh, driving and just hitting cars, just side-swiping every car until he gets home. Uh, tragic. Well, getting caught. So, Beaufort's business was already the subject of a civil fraud lawsuit brought by the U.S. Securities Exchange Commission, which is the SAC, one of the number-one hater organizations out there. Like, I always say, guys, if you're a hater, if, when you see other people happy, it genuinely makes you upset, that's okay. You just need to get a hater profession. Get a hater job. That way, you can have an outlet for your hater rate. You know what I mean? Be a meter maid. Get into tax accountant. We talk about this all the time.

• 48:51Speaker 03

  IRS.

• 48:51Laci Mosley?

  IRS, one of the biggest haters out there.

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Oh, you had a good year. I need to talk to you.

• 48:56Laci Mosley?

  SEC, get involved with them. They love just little number crunching, just getting hard off of reading papers and, you know, putting people in jail over numbers. Get into that. Or, you know, like, maybe like an army deserter, like, somebody deserts the army, you go find them. You know, the bounty hunter. These are fun hater jobs. Get involved. So, as a result, the company was ordered to pay $2.6 million in a fine, which was peanuts compared to the firm and its employees, what they were earning, basically. They were like, okay, two five, here you go. That's fine.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Right. That's just pocket change.

• 49:25Laci Mosley?

  Right, which, uh, I love it. You love to see it. So, two FBI agents spent the following years gradually digging away to collect more evidence, just like little haters, just excavating this man.

• 49:37Laci Mosley?

  With their little hammer.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  These two FBI agents who are pursuing justice patiently and valiantly. You've turned into two little creeps who are hatin' on Jordan Belfort.

• 49:48Laci Mosley?

  That's what they were doing, just getting horny for every little piece of crime they would find. You know, just little haters. And so, um, it was hard for them though, because the loyalty of Belfort's well-paid staff made it almost impossible for anybody to snitch. No one wanted to talk to the fans. They were like, we are making great money and maybe doing crime. I don't know.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:08Laci Mosley?

  I wouldn't snitch. That's what I'm talking about. I never snitch on you daddy. That's for you guys who know the City Girls. Um, so the breakthrough came when Belfort became desperate and began smuggling money out of the country specifically to Switzerland, which I love a crime, uh, country. You know what I mean? You've got Switzerland, you've got the US Virgin Islands, like places where you can just do casual crime.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  When someone is depositing money in any bank in Switzerland or anywhere in the Bahamas, you know they're a criminal.

• 50:37Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm. And I love it. Um, the US Virgin Islands actually makes so much money off of the, the banking system that they don't need tourism, which is why they're like the fucking rudest island you'll ever go to, which I love it so much. The US Virgin Islands, they hate you. You go there, they're like, what do you want? They hate you. Um, and I love it.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Cause they don't need you.

• 50:58Laci Mosley?

  They don't need you. And I love it. I love it. I think it's so empowering. Um, so I love visiting there and getting cussed out by the locals. It's a, a real treat. So, once they caught him sending money to Switzerland, the FBI was able to arrest him for tax evasion.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 51:13Laci Mosley?

  After being arrested, Belfort quickly assumed the role of a rat.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  Yes, that's what you gotta do. That's what I'm gonna do when they catch me. I'm gonna rat on everybody.

• 51:22Laci Mosley?

  When they catch me.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  No, they will catch me eventually and I'm going to tell on everybody in show business.

• 51:28Laci Mosley?

  Conan, you can't go out like 6'9".

• 51:30Speaker 03

  I will.

• 51:30Laci Mosley?

  This can't be your legacy. You're too tall to snitch.

• 51:34Laci Mosley?

  It's too easy to find you.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's true.

• 51:37Laci Mosley?

  So, uh, taking down several friends and former coworkers on tape to help reduce his sentence. That's fucked up, Jordan. Everybody said ten toes down for you. Everybody, like, the cops came, everybody stood tall for you. And you gonna do him like this?

• 51:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's not right.

• 51:55Laci Mosley?

  He got in there, he started naming them like that DMX song, that's like, what you really want for? He was like, it's Keisha, Juanita, two twins.

• 52:04Laci Mosley?

  And Cookie, yo, I'm a hell out of ice cream parlor, like, he just snitched on everybody.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  He sang like a canary, they used to say back in the old days.

• 52:12Laci Mosley?

  Oh, man. But you know what? I'm not, I'm not against it. You gotta save your own ass. I am actually against snitching, uh, in this capacity.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  How much did it, how much did he reduce the sentence?

• 52:21Laci Mosley?

  Um, so, he actually got it, he got a shorter jail sentence. I'm not getting a specific here, let's see, um...

• 52:28Speaker 03

  I'm gonna make something up. He cut years off his sentence. He could have done 20 years, but he did, I'm gonna say he did three.

• 52:33Laci Mosley?

  It's significant. So, he was, uh, Belfort incriminated his accountant, known as the chef, because he loved to cook up numbers. If you, I want an accountant named the chef. I want my accountant to be in there cooking like Migos, like it's stir fry, cooking all my books. I've been, like, trying to get an accountant that was more shady, a little more sweaty.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Yes, my, exactly. I have an accountant that, uh, is responsible and follows the law. And keeps me out of jail, and it's no fun.

• 53:01Laci Mosley?

  I hate that shit. I was like, I had to work in Georgia for three months, and my accountant was like, so Georgia's gonna take 6% of your income. And I said, okay, cool. So, how do we get around that? And he was like, we don't. He was like, it's the law. I was like, the law? I ain't what I hired you for, I could just follow the law.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 53:18Laci Mosley?

  I thought I was getting, like, a better cause, Saul, like, you know, cheap man's warehouse suit.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  You want someone who's gonna say, no, you're just, uh, you're not working in Georgia, you're there on vacation.

• 53:27Laci Mosley?

  Exactly. Like, come on, let's do some crime. Why am I paying you? Anyway, so he ratted out his accountant, the chef, and he ratted out his partners and many other people to, you know, get a shorter jail sentence, though he was able to stretch his cooperation period with the FBI over a few years, so he was just doling out the little, uh...

• 53:45Speaker 03

  He knew what he was doing.

• 53:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so he could stay out of jail. And Belfort was sentenced to four years in prison.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  I knew it.

• 53:51Laci Mosley?

  You were close. However, after good behavior, drug counseling, and living in a halfway house, his time served was more like two and a half

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 54:01Laci Mosley?

  years. He was also not placed with the general prison population. Okay, VIP

• 54:06Speaker 03

  He wasn't, he basically wasn't in jail.

• 54:09Laci Mosley?

  Uh, yeah, he was a very important prisoner. Okay, God. So he, after a few days in solitary confinement, he was put in a low-security work camp. I call that, uh, Becky, um, Becky camp, uh, where he had tennis courts, a library, and plenty of physical activities for him to enjoy.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Wow. Yeah, he went to a Club Med, basically.

• 54:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  He was at a sandals resort after stealing hundreds of millions of dollars of people's money. Uh, you gotta give it up for him.

• 54:39Laci Mosley?

  Right, but you can't leave the resort, Connie. You're forgetting, like, he was stuck at this luxurious resort. Uh, he was also ordered to pay a fine of a hundred and ten million dollars.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  So did he get, so how much money did he have left over when this was all done?

• 54:52Laci Mosley?

  I'm not exactly sure, and I don't think we'll ever know because, you know, he was, he was

• 54:57Speaker 03

  You know what? We'll know if we can find out what he's driving.

• 55:00Laci Mosley?

  Right. Well, he now resides in Los Angeles, California, and so he can be closer to his two children. In addition to writing two books, The Wolf of Wall Street and its sequel, Catching the Wolf of Wall Street, which, like, how fucking arrogant are you that you're writing books about yourself? You're like, "The Wolf of Wall Street is you," and then Catching the Wolf of Wall Street is also you.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Right, right. And then you're gonna write, he's gonna write another book. More on The Wolf of Wall Street. The Wolf of Wall Street, he's back!

• 55:29Laci Mosley?

  I hope that it has to disintegrate into some kind of, like, cheap, like, romantic novel, like, it starts this way, and by the end, it's like Fifty Shades of Grey.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Yes, I was gonna say Fifty Shades of Grey, where it's the Wolf of Wall Street.

• 55:39Laci Mosley?

  At night.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, a butt plug, a butt plug, you know?

• 55:43Laci Mosley?

  Full moon, Wolf of Wall Street. Will he come out of his shell? Yeah, it has to just get sad and horny. By the end, I want it to be Tyler Perry, there better be a bus driver involved. Um, you know, that's what I want, a family reunion. Um, keep writing books, Jordan, I love them. Um, he does motivational speeches, too, and he actually got paid thirty thousand dollars a speech.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Thirty thousand dollars to get up in front of a bunch of high school kids and say masturbation, cocaine, prostitution, sex working. Those are the keys, kids. Now where's my check?

• 56:17Laci Mosley?

  Now, uh, yeah, you could make it out to cash.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll just, uh, yeah, if you could just actually, if you have the cash, I'll just take that. I'll be leaving out the window.

• 56:24Laci Mosley?

  I'm also very confused as to why, no, you know what, I'm not, because scammers are talented people. They're entrepreneurs, they're serial entrepreneurs, that's what they are. And so I could see why he would be a great motivational speaker. However, I'm also like, is he motivating people to do crime? Cause that's, that's what he does best.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:44Laci Mosley?

  Robberies and fraud.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Well, it's like what you said earlier, and I think it's really true, when you talked about cult leaders. If you look at most people that have started a major religion, uh, and I mean more specifically, uh, later on, uh, 20th century religions, 19th century religions. Yeah, they just feel like, those people feel like they're, it takes a lot of creativity to come up with a way to get hundreds of people to do whatever you want. And to be, and to enrich you and to like doing it the whole time. That's the key, they love doing it.

• 57:18Laci Mosley?

  Like all those people, like all those weirdos all up on you all the time, you gotta like them, cause that's a, oh gosh. So, his personal website states that he is able to consult with the companies on business strategy, sales training and ethics in business. What better way to talk ethics in business than someone who has none of them?

• 57:37Speaker 03

  I know, that's, uh, that takes, but again, this guy has balls. He is saying, "I will teach you about ethics in business," after being the poster boy for having no ethics. That you gotta admire.

• 57:49Laci Mosley?

  I love it, but listen, if you have no ethics and you know what the ethics are, you're like, "I skipped them all, so I have to know what they are," right? I don't know, I'm trying to make that make sense. Um, I'm proud of you, Jordan. Um, you were a shady man and you came up. I think it's always great too, when criminals get out of jail and they're like, "I could teach y'all how to catch all the other criminals," and like, now that's their profession.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 58:11Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I think that happened with Apollo Nida from Real Housewives of Atlanta. That's a deep cut for some of you guys. He came out and now he's a government snitch, y'all, so we should be proud, you know? Black man government snitch.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  What did he do that got him in trouble in the first place, son?

• 58:24Laci Mosley?

  Credit card fraud, which is my favorite. Kind of fraud.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  It's a good fraud, isn't it?

• 58:28Laci Mosley?

  It is. I love when they go to the gas station and copy the credit card number or like, that's one of the actually very popular ways. Like if you go to the gas station, you should go to the attendant, not swipe your card, because a lot of times they'll put copiers over the ones that are outside. Get your card info and then little boys in Brooklyn go to CVS and make two $500 purchases before it gets shut off.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  That's fascinating.

• 58:48Laci Mosley?

  It's beautiful.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  I should do this.

• 58:51Laci Mosley?

  I should do this. Oh, guys, um, before we get to the end of the show, I have to say a quick caveat. I told my sister I was gonna do this, so she's just gonna have to live with it. Conan, my sister got scammed.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Oh, she got scammed? What happened?

• 59:04Laci Mosley?

  So I have to put, I have a couple sisters, so I'm not gonna say which one, that way you guys don't know, but they're all quite young. Um, guys, if you have kids who are in their teenagers, eight, teenager years or college years, please talk to them about scammers, especially if they have a bank account. Money is not free. There's no way to make easy money. Please teach your kids that. Um, so this scammer said that they were gonna commission artwork from someone who's quite young for $3,200. And they sent them checks via email and the checks were $800 each. The reason that the checks were $800 each is because anything over a thousand dollars are like sends an alarm for most banks.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 59:42Laci Mosley?

  And they'll only allow you to have $300 available immediately. And obviously, these are hot checks, so they're gonna bounce, so they need most of it to clear. So half of it clears for $1,600. She sends over the $1,600 to the scammer. And of course, it's fake and then she gets a huge charge back on her account.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Oh, man. How old is she?

• 1:00:03Laci Mosley?

  I can't say, because it'll narrow it down, but she's young.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. Uh, she's in school. I'll say that.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  She's, she's younger than 18.

• 1:00:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  Okay, fine.

• 1:00:13Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  I know who it is now. Got it. I've studied your family very closely. I know exactly who it is.

• 1:00:19Laci Mosley?

  Conan, I did notice you studying my family.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  But that is, uh, that, yeah. Why is that weird white guy across the street?

• 1:00:25Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, my.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  In a tree and he's writing down our names and looking at us in a spyglass.

• 1:00:28Laci Mosley?

  You in a tree is a great image.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I, I, yes. I think there's, they prey on the young. They also prey on the elderly. And this is my advice to people. One of the biggest things in a scam, never offer up information.

• 1:00:43Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  So if someone calls you and says, "There's been an accident, a terrible accident." Don't say, "Who is this? Is this Edward?"

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  Because then they're gonna go, yes, it's me, Edward. Oh, no, Edward. And then later on, what they're thinking is, they said it was Edward. No, they never did. You said that.

• 1:01:07Laci Mosley?

  You said it was Edward.

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  But I know I'm gonna be that old guy, and sooner rather than later, I'm gonna be that old guy that's just constantly picking up the phone and saying, I'm Conan, and my daughter's name is Nev, before anybody even has a chance to ask me a question.

• 1:01:21Laci Mosley?

  Right, and that's exactly how you get got. And also, to your point, Conan, guys, take your freaking personal information off of Facebook. Don't put who your cousins are, don't put who you're engaged to. I know y'all trying to flex on your high school friends, but please, for the love of God, because people, scammers, go on there, they look at, they're like, oh, so and so's her cousin, so and so's her grandfather, so and so's... And then they use those names when they call you, and it makes a scammer feel more relatable and more like they actually know you. So you have to watch out for that stuff, too. I know it's hard, guys, you wanna announce everything on Facebook, but like, seriously, stop giving Mark Zuckerberg your retinas, your fingerprints, and most importantly, your booty hole. I mean, I gave Mark Zuckerberg my booty hole a long time ago, so it's okay. He has all my information, I've given up.

• 1:02:06Laci Mosley?

  But if you haven't done it, don't do it.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  I have, I will say this, there have been people that have scammed me and pretended to be, you know, my father or my mother, but I've actually established a better relationship with that person than with my father or mother. I'm really close with those people, and that's who I go see on Thanksgiving now.

• 1:02:24Laci Mosley?

  Now you love them, now that you're a fan?

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  I go down to Bolivia, and I hang out with them. I had a blast.

• 1:02:30Laci Mosley?

  I had so much fun with you, too. This was wonderful.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  It was really fun hanging out with you, and you're very funny. I love your energy. You have fantastic energy and such a quick mind, you know? And so, thank you. Thank you for putting up with me.

• 1:02:45Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my gosh. I love that I have all these recordings. This is recorded. I can listen to this whenever I want.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm scanning you right now.

• 1:02:51Laci Mosley?

  You are?

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  I despise you. I just want your credit card number.

• 1:02:56Laci Mosley?

  And I'll give it to you, Conan. I will give it to you. You deserve it, truly.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:03:00Laci Mosley?

  But no, this has been amazing. You're so funny. Oh, my God, you're such an icon. Thank you for doing this show. This is so awesome. Last, last but not least, Scammer of the Week. We just highlight one scammer who's worthy of our praise, and today it is Voldemort Kavishuk. He's an ex-Microsoft worker who allegedly stole $10 million in gift cards that he resold to buy a Tesla and a lakefront home.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Wait, and he got, did he got away with it?

• 1:03:26Laci Mosley?

  I mean, he got the Tesla.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  No, if we know his name now, then he got caught.

• 1:03:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he got caught, but he was 25, which I'm like, young, spry. I love, you love to see it.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  And also, those are the, that's the American dream now, a Tesla and a lakefront home.

• 1:03:38Laci Mosley?

  Right, and at 25, you better work. So, he worked for Microsoft from 2016 to 2018 and allegedly took advantage of a testing program meant to simulate customer purchases. So, basically, they had these cards that they wanted to use to do a simulation of like customer purchases. So, he starts making these cards and then decides to sell them online to people. So, he does this, and he allegedly used the money for a $160,000 Tesla. So, not just the regular one, he got the cute one.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  $160,000 Tesla? What is it made of?

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  That's just insane.

• 1:04:18Laci Mosley?

  Elon Musk makes it himself.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  That's like the cost of like three Teslas. That's fantastic. Maybe it's just, maybe it's the Tesla that's just three Teslas wrapped together with duct tape, and they call it one Tesla.

• 1:04:28Laci Mosley?

  The truck one, yeah, it looks just as ugly. And Elon will deliver it to you if you pay 160K.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Laci Mosley?

  And he'll bring his baby.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  Kiss you on the mouth, yeah.

• 1:04:35Laci Mosley?

  He'll bring his baby, uh, character, character, character, uh, since the baby doesn't actually have a name. So, Microsoft investors were able to crack the case and confronted him in May 2018, and then he was fired a month later. So, y'all let him keep working for a month?

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, they probably kept an eye on him every time he went into the break room.

• 1:04:54Laci Mosley?

  They were like, Voldemort, uh...

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  Is it Voldemort? I thought you said Voldemort.

• 1:04:59Laci Mosley?

  It might as well be, but it is Voldemort. Voldemort, we've been noted as in like money's going missing, like, uh, around $2 million, because he got a $1.6 million lakefront home.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  I can't believe a guy named Voldemort would do something evil.

• 1:05:16Laci Mosley?

  He was really set up from birth to be a criminal.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. It's just who perpetrated this scam? Was it Jack, Steven, Harry, Bill, or Voldemort?

• 1:05:25Laci Mosley?

  Harry honestly looked the most suspicious to me.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Probably.

• 1:05:28Laci Mosley?

  But Voldemort's sitting there with like all of his, like, you know when you put your hands together and you just let your fingertips touch?

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  You make that little cage.

• 1:05:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he constantly walks around like this.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  Right. He has no nose.

• 1:05:38Laci Mosley?

  And doing Birdman hand rubs. Um, so they cracked the case and in 2018, you know, they fire him, right? So then they realized they can't charge him for this because I guess, I don't know, I guess technically he wasn't breaking the law. But since he was mailing out the gift cards to the people that he sold them to, that's mail fraud.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Mail fraud.

• 1:05:59Laci Mosley?

  Mail fraud, baby. When I tell y'all, please don't do scams on the US Postal because they can catch, they've caught so many people from mail fraud. The McDonald's scam guy, that's how he got caught too.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  Mail fraud.

• 1:06:09Laci Mosley?

  Mail fraud. You better get out here and hand deliver your scams. You better deliver your frauds to people's doorsteps, okay? Do the legwork or sell your frauds, you know, local, out of the truck of your car. Enterprise. Y'all remember Birdman? But yeah, so it carries a punishment as high as 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. So Voldemort hasn't been charged yet, but yeah, he was doing that mail fraud and shout out to a king.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  He hasn't been charged yet. So if you see a guy who looks evil fleeing the country in what looks like three Teslas duct taped together, you got your man.

• 1:06:42Laci Mosley?

  You got your man. Also, I'm kind of bummed out because I've never actually caught an online resale. You know what I mean? Like something that was fell off a truck or was stolen, except for actually, I take that back. My mom used to have this guy who I always thought this was fancy, um, the Mac Man is what we called him. And he would come and bring Mac cosmetics, which were pretty pricey at the time, to the house, like, and he, and we would have like little parties and buy from him. And then I once talked to a friend who worked at Mac and I was like, do y'all still do those little parties where you bring all the products? And she was like, we never did that. And I was like, oh. And then I was like, I asked my mom one day, I was like, what happened to the Mac Man? And she was like, I don't know, child. He just went away. That didn't strike you as odd that he just went away?

• 1:07:26Speaker 03

  He just went away.

• 1:07:29Laci Mosley?

  Hey, so Mac Man, wherever you are out there, I hope you're not in jail.

• 1:07:34Speaker 03

  I bet he looks good, though.

• 1:07:35Laci Mosley?

  Oh, fantastic.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  Nice foundation.

• 1:07:37Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Well, that brings us to the end of the show.

• 1:07:40Speaker 03

  Thanks so much for having me on.

• 1:07:41Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Conan, is there anywhere that you'd like people to find you? We ask people where they want to be found.

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  What does that mean?

• 1:07:47Laci Mosley?

  So is there anything you want people to see or listen to or find you?

• 1:07:50Speaker 03

  Oh, God, no. I'm too many places.

• 1:07:52Laci Mosley?

  Also, you can just Google Conan O'Brien.

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  I encourage people to avoid me. If you see me on TV, just change the channel, because you don't need that in your life.

• 1:08:02Laci Mosley?

  You're on the other channel, too, though, Conan. It's virtually impossible.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  I know, but, yeah. I just, I think it's, I think America's had enough. So, so, no?

• 1:08:13Laci Mosley?

  Never. Could never get enough. But also, I just realized, like, asking Conan where to plug himself is like asking Beyonce. Beyonce, where do people, where do you want people to find you? She's like, uh.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Yes, let's pretend that I'm Beyonce. Let's pretend that, just for a little bit.

• 1:08:28Laci Mosley?

  We know where to find you. But guys, if you need to find me, D I V A L A C I D, Velaci on all platforms. Again, snitch on your friends and family, but make sure your scams retire, because we don't want to fuck up that bag at [email protected]. And scamgoddispod on all platforms. Congregation!

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  Congregation was poppin'!

• 1:08:45Laci Mosley?

  Scam Goddess! This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess is starring me, duh, Scam Goddess, AKA Lacey Mosley. Scam Goddess is produced by Chelsea Jacobson and engineered by Marina Paez, with research by Sherrilyn Vera. Stay schemin'.

• 1:09:05Speaker 07

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:09:37Speaker 07

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• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  And every match streams free on YouTube. Big hits, bigger rivalries, and a front row seat from wherever you are. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.