Cruisin’ for a Bruisin' w/ Luenell

This week, Laci welcomes the Original Bad Girl of Comedy, Luenell (Hacks), to discuss Miray Cruises’ “Life at Sea” project, a three-year dream cruise sold to paying passengers, only for the company to later admit they didn’t even have a ship. Stay schemin’! Catch Luenell's residency at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club in Las Vegas! CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Did you miss out on a custom-signed Scam Goddess book? Look no more, nab your copy on PODSWAG Keep the scams coming and snitch on your friends by emailing us at [email protected]. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Luenell: @luenell Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://abc7.com/three-year-cruise-canceled-life-at-sea-refund/14102701/ https://www.cnn.com/travel/how-the-three-year-cruise-fell-apart/index.html https://cruiseindustrynews.com/cruise-news/2023/01/aidaaura-to-leave-carnival-corporation-fleet-this-september/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/cruises/2024/11/11/villa-vie-residences-world-cruise/76202126007/ https://www.aol.com/passengers-round-world-cruise-now-071736032.html

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:54Speaker 02

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• 1:56Speaker 03

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• 2:50Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with a comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them. Sometimes we hate them. We'll figure it out along the way. And congregation, you already know I'm what? Very, yes, excited. Y'all go ahead and stand up. We got some praise dancers today. It's Pass's anniversary. This is a lit ass day for the podcast because we have royalty in the building. She's an icon. She's a legend. And she's always the moment. The original bad girl of comedy. You've seen her in Coming to America 2, A Star is Born, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Haxed, and so much more. That's just the name of you. We would be here all day if I listed how much this woman works.

• 3:34Laci Mosley?

  This year, our guest made history at the iconic Apollo Theater by becoming the first black female comedian since Moms Mosley in 1968 to sell it out two years in a row. Yes, if you haven't already, please check out her latest Netflix special, Town Business, and see her live headlining a residency in Las Vegas. I know y'all love a Las Vegas residency, honey, at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club. Congregation, please welcome the icon, the queen, my personal comedy hero, the hilarious Luenell to the show. Luenell, hi. Yeah, add me in some classes, air horns.

• 4:12Speaker 06

  Thank you. You have all your information correct.

• 4:15Laci Mosley?

  Put them in on the back end just so we can have some classes, air horns. Yes. Luenell, I love you doing it for yourself.

• 4:21Speaker 06

  I do it all the time.

• 4:23Laci Mosley?

  As you should.

• 4:23Speaker 06

  My favorite club noise.

• 4:24Laci Mosley?

  As you should. Now, at your Las Vegas residency, are you giving out cherries like Usher?

• 4:31Speaker 06

  No, I would love to get an out of cherry or two, not like Usher. But so far, it's just laughs.

• 4:38Laci Mosley?

  I love it. That's all the people need, okay?

• 4:40Speaker 06

  That's all they need from me.

• 4:41Laci Mosley?

  Especially in this comedy scene, like, we love, we love a seasoned comedian who knows how to get the crowd going, okay?

• 4:47Speaker 06

  Just saying, just saying.

• 4:49Laci Mosley?

  So, I have to ask you, Lino, what is your relationship with scams? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Have you ever had some run on you? Have you run some that are past the statute of limitations? The FBI and the I won't come?

• 4:59Speaker 06

  I hate scams. Scams are the worst. I think one of the biggest scams going now is ordering anything from Japan. You know, if you order like, oh, that's a nice top. I'm gonna get it in three X. You come and the three X in Japan is about the size of a Barbie doll shirt.

• 5:15Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 5:16Speaker 06

  Man, that's a scam. And anything that you can't get a hold of a person to deal with is a terrible scam. I, I, I don't like scams. I mean, you know, the thought that that's somebody's gig to defraud people out of their money is heinous.

• 5:35Laci Mosley?

  Wow, we've got a strong opinion from Luenell coming in today. Luenell's coming in with, I hate scams.

• 5:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, I hate scams.

• 5:40Laci Mosley?

  I'm on the edge with it. There's some scams that I feel like are more Robin Hood, where it's like, you're scamming up. The corporations are scamming us. You're getting your lick back. I'm not mad at that. But if you're scamming everyday people on the streets, or the trains, and the planes, and the byways, then yeah, I have an issue with that.

• 5:53Speaker 06

  Yeah, okay, so I don't have a scam. If you are able to get like billions or millions, or hundreds of thousands of dollars from some greedy ass corporation, then go, go baby, go.

• 6:03Laci Mosley?

  Right. But if it's from an elderly person, or if it's from, you know, somebody who's really in desperate financial straits.

• 6:09Speaker 06

  Right.

• 6:09Laci Mosley?

  Love fraud, I hate love fraud, across the board, across the board hate it.

• 6:13Speaker 06

  That is terrible.

• 6:14Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, okay, but have you ever had someone try to run a scam on you?

• 6:20Speaker 06

  I think I probably have, you know, early before we really knew what a lot of these scams were. You know, you get emails that say, hey, your account's gonna be deactivated in five minutes. All your files gonna be gone if you don't click this link and put your password in.

• 6:38Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 6:38Speaker 06

  That's a scam.

• 6:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 06

  You know, phone solicitors that they're trying to help you, no they're not, that's a scam.

• 6:45Laci Mosley?

  What they be trying to offer you, Luenell?

• 6:46Speaker 06

  Or that, you know, I don't really remember because I'm not one to be on the phone with the bullshit for long. Like, you know how you hear people like on Ricky Smiley's show and stuff and they do prank calls?

• 6:57Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 6:57Speaker 06

  You can't prank call me because I'm gonna hang up. And I'm gonna block you and then you can't call me back. Like, within one minute, I'm like, who's this what? Clickbait, I don't know you.

• 7:06Laci Mosley?

  You're not engaging at all. Who's this what? Clickbait, don't know you.

• 7:09Speaker 06

  Right, right, right, don't know you. What you doing?

• 7:11Laci Mosley?

  I also can tell now a little bit if I pick up a random number and they're like, is this Miss Mosley? And I'm like, you don't even sound like you know me well enough to be doing anything with me. Or this call may be recorded. Okay, if you're gonna record, then I'm hanging up.

• 7:25Speaker 06

  Well, record me.

• 7:26Laci Mosley?

  Is it quality you? Oh, yes, we will and are.

• 7:28Speaker 06

  No, I don't mean you. I mean, like, on all phone calls, record me because I'm just gonna end up showing you how dumb you sound.

• 7:36Laci Mosley?

  I would imagine, like, in this industry, and you've been in this industry for a while now, always working, always booked. Like, nobody ever reached out and was like, Luenell, we have an opportunity for you, like, come perform here, come do this or that. And it was like a little sketchy and you didn't do it?

• 7:50Speaker 06

  Oh, back in the earlier days, yeah, before I had security.

• 7:55Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, just so you know, there are, there is security in here, okay?

• 7:59Speaker 06

  Right.

• 7:59Laci Mosley?

  I'm a little shook. I was like, okay.

• 8:01Speaker 06

  And for more ways than that, huh? Cause he cute. Anyway.

• 8:05Laci Mosley?

  I was like, no sudden movements, Luenell's security is here, okay?

• 8:08Speaker 06

  Or you can make a sudden movement and get tackled. Ooh, sounds like fun to me.

• 8:14Speaker 06

  No, I don't, I don't, I don't have, I don't have many bogus show offers anymore. But of course, we've all been through them. Do a show on New Year's Eve, get a check. The check bounces, New Year's Day, you ain't got no money, you go back to ride fun, can't find them no more, place is closed.

• 8:34Laci Mosley?

  Now the place is closed, they shuttered the doors?

• 8:36Speaker 06

  Or been, yeah, we, I went back to meet, I can, just three of us. We all did a New Year's Eve show back in the day in Sacramento, got a check. And then the next day went to go crack the check and it was no bueno. So we go back to the place where we did the show the night before. And it's like somebody came and moved that motherfucker. I don't know, maybe it was, they was renting the chairs or renting or whatever. But it was like gone and then the person's number was...

• 9:05Laci Mosley?

  They was traveling like the circus. They packed all that shit up.

• 9:08Speaker 06

  That was gone. And then one time I did a show for a guy who was like, oh Kevin, bring the money to your room. As soon as we settled, bring the money to your room. Never came to the room.

• 9:18Laci Mosley?

  Oh.

• 9:19Speaker 06

  Uh, wasn't there at checkout, had to get out of the room, sit in the lobby, wait for his food, not answer the phone. He was off on some drug whore binge like Lamar Odom.

• 9:29Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 9:29Speaker 06

  And, and, and was like, it took me a lot to get my bread. But I don't have it too much anymore. Cause I got like a line of people you have to go through before you ever, ever, ever, ever get to meet.

• 9:42Laci Mosley?

  Yes, yes, I love that. You do, you deserve to be protected.

• 9:45Speaker 06

  And period.

• 9:46Laci Mosley?

  Yes, okay, we love to see it.

• 9:47Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 9:48Laci Mosley?

  We don't have to shake people down no more. We got people who do the shakes.

• 9:50Speaker 06

  But if we do.

• 9:51Laci Mosley?

  Okay, now, see, that's what I like to do.

• 9:53Speaker 06

  Don't, don't put him on camera, but if we do, that's the shakedown artist right there.

• 9:58Laci Mosley?

  Oh man, I can't wait till I'm since like, I get to phase in my career like you where I can have a shakedown man. Who travels with me?

• 10:05Speaker 06

  You can have that, it just costs money. He's not cheap, girl, let me tell you that right now. First class.

• 10:10Laci Mosley?

  I was like, I don't even know where to find a shakedown man.

• 10:13Speaker 06

  Oh, we got him, we know where they are.

• 10:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay, okay, that's good to know. That's good to know. Now I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to hit you up. Cause I need to, or hit that, hit up your team, maybe hit up your shakedown man and then I can learn. I just plan to go to nightclubs and see bouncers and be, and try to save them. Like you know how Drake tries to save strippers from the strip club? But I'm like, I go to the nightclub and I see a bouncer and I'm like, you don't have to live like this, baby boo.

• 10:34Speaker 06

  Shit, the bouncers are fine, they're fine.

• 10:36Laci Mosley?

  I just need somebody who's big and broad. You could travel with me.

• 10:39Speaker 06

  Yeah, well.

• 10:40Laci Mosley?

  Right, yes, be my Julius. You got your Julius?

• 10:43Speaker 06

  Julius, I've been in contact with Julius before and he knocked the fucking phone out my hand.

• 10:48Laci Mosley?

  Oh lord Jesus.

• 10:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was, uh, doing a video with Lady Gaga and Beyonce, the telephone video.

• 10:54Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 10:54Speaker 06

  Telephone, and I was on the set, I was trying to sneak in video Beyonce, which I did get a little bit, but that was way back, like seven phones ago. And, uh, but Julius, Julius, he, of his, he's very, very big. And he was doing boom, good phone, boom, boom, boom, like that.

• 11:11Laci Mosley?

  He's on it.

• 11:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, he's on it. I mean, he's still there, so.

• 11:15Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I mean, when you become famous for being someone's bouncer, like, you know you're really on it.

• 11:19Speaker 06

  And we've never heard his, we've never heard his voice.

• 11:21Laci Mosley?

  Never heard that man speak.

• 11:22Speaker 06

  He don't say nothing.

• 11:23Laci Mosley?

  I don't see no social media from him.

• 11:24Speaker 06

  He don't smile.

• 11:25Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 06

  No, I don't think he got no social.

• 11:27Laci Mosley?

  He don't got, he, he could even have some nice fun content like Julius is juices and no, no, none of that. He stays off the web.

• 11:33Speaker 06

  For the bread that he's getting, probably. He gonna do whatever the fuck she say do.

• 11:38Laci Mosley?

  And I, and I, amen, as he should.

• 11:40Speaker 06

  That's right.

• 11:41Laci Mosley?

  That's what I would do, listen, Beyonce could hire me to just blow wind in her, like, if her fan break.

• 11:45Speaker 06

  Hold the fan.

• 11:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I'm just out there, hold the fans, I'm blowing on her. Like, if I was in Destiny's Child, the, the, the original four, oh, there was no way you kicked me out that group, baby.

• 11:54Speaker 06

  Did you go to?

• 11:55Laci Mosley?

  I would've been quiet as hell doing, I'd be like, Beyonce, do you need a, a, a massage?

• 11:58Speaker 06

  Did you go to Renaissance Cowboy Carter?

• 12:00Laci Mosley?

  Of course, of course.

• 12:02Speaker 06

  Where did you go to Cowboy Carter at?

• 12:03Laci Mosley?

  Cowboy Carter, you gotta go to Houston.

• 12:05Speaker 06

  Oh, you went to Houston?

• 12:06Laci Mosley?

  And you know what made me so mad about that is that Beyonce got scammed because she did Cowboy Carter in Atlanta and gave Atlanta, like, all the, you know, Jay-Z popped up, like, it was real poppin' and whatnot. Yes, and, and apparently she brought out Beyonce.

• 12:19Speaker 06

  And Vegas got Destiny's Child.

• 12:21Laci Mosley?

  Yes, exactly.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  I live in Vegas.

• 12:26Laci Mosley?

  So, see, I didn't get Destiny, I didn't get the Children of Destiny, but.

• 12:29Speaker 06

  Renaissance, I, we were there when Diana Ross came out.

• 12:32Laci Mosley?

  Ah, okay, I was there for that too, we were, we were in the same theater, I mean, it's the.

• 12:37Speaker 06

  What I remember was Dochi, there was, what was it, K-Dot, somebody?

• 12:42Laci Mosley?

  I know last, Renaissance, she had Meg come out, Megan Thee Stallion, but I don't remember if Dochi came out, but maybe for Cowboy Carter, I'm not sure, but I just remember that, wait, what was I going with this? You got Lunal, you got me all like.

• 12:53Speaker 06

  It's a scam.

• 12:54Laci Mosley?

  It's a scam, it's a scam.

• 12:55Speaker 06

  How much do you love Dochi?

• 12:57Laci Mosley?

  I love her, I think she's fantastic, and her music, I loved her, that song where she's like, "How does it feel to be you? How does it feel to be the best?"

• 13:05Speaker 06

  Did you see her Tiny Desk?

• 13:07Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I did, I loved it, she was so good.

• 13:09Speaker 06

  Her whole band, females?

• 13:10Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 13:11Speaker 06

  Female bass player, drummer, I love you. We love you, Dochi.

• 13:14Laci Mosley?

  We love you, Dochi, come to the show.

• 13:16Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 13:16Laci Mosley?

  Um, but I remember what I was saying, in Atlanta, she had brought out guests and stuff, because she didn't bring anybody out in Houston, but she brought out guests and stuff, and then on, it might have been night three, I can't remember which night, but she got, like, they broke into one of the, um, buses or cars that they had and took her music, and she wasn't the only person, though, a bunch of scammers came out and started, like, busting open cars and stuff, and you know what, the scammer logic, first of all, how dare you rob the queen? You know she's gonna find you, she finds everybody baby picture and they don't even know how, like, why would you rob the queen? But. Also, what struck me was that Beyonce concerts are actually kind of like affordable when they come out. But then, when the resellers get ahold of them, they become astronomical, like crazy.

• 13:58Speaker 06

  I think it's really, I mean, the tour costs a lot of money, I get that. But I think, you know, and I'm sorry, I'm in a little old age, when concert tickets were fifteen dollars, you know, but. But I just think that it's really outrageous, the money that people are paying for these concert tickets. But, you know, I'm not, when I'm trying to get the beehive.

• 14:18Laci Mosley?

  They're not gonna buzz, because it's not Beyonce doing it. She's a benevolent queen. She puts out the tickets and then resellers buy the tickets and mark them up crazy.

• 14:25Speaker 06

  There's something that could be done, because Prince did twenty-five shows for twenty-five days for twenty-five dollars and performed.

• 14:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, see.

• 14:35Speaker 06

  So you can do it. There's a way to circumvent that. I don't know how.

• 14:40Laci Mosley?

  That was a different time, because now the girls got bots, Luenell, they got bots.

• 14:44Speaker 06

  Oh, that's right.

• 14:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they got bots that are buying up a bunch of tickets at once, they're putting them on a credit card and then reselling them.

• 14:49Speaker 06

  Bots, is that another word for wiffo?

• 14:54Laci Mosley?

  Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, yes.

• 14:56Speaker 06

  Wiffo be buying, they get that credit card, they're buying twenty, I think there's a limit now. Isn't there a limit on how many tickets you can buy?

• 15:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, but then now they're going for the higher-priced tickets in the front and stuff. And then they're getting a few of those and marking them up crazy.

• 15:09Speaker 06

  I don't buy tickets. If I can't go with a plug, get backstage, I ain't going.

• 15:12Laci Mosley?

  Luenell, you should not have to buy a ticket to nowhere. Okay? I don't even want you buying a ticket at the airport. You should just show up and be like, yeah, that one, I'm getting on that.

• 15:19Speaker 06

  I'm trying to find a pilot, so I do have to stop buying tickets there. But any pilots out there want to date a celebrity, I'll let them.

• 15:26Laci Mosley?

  Yes, pilots out there. If you want to date.

• 15:28Speaker 06

  Private planes are accepted.

• 15:30Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 15:31Speaker 06

  Dubs and American preferably, but.

• 15:33Laci Mosley?

  We've got, we've got specific.

• 15:35Speaker 06

  PJs are okay, too.

• 15:37Laci Mosley?

  Yes. Listen, I always say like, look, y'all can say PJs are bad for the planet, but for me, it's reparations, because I'm black.

• 15:41Speaker 06

  The planet?

• 15:42Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 06

  How the fuck long we gonna be on the planet anyway?

• 15:45Laci Mosley?

  I remember, Luenell, you were fantastic. Y'all are probably like, what is going on with you? No, but I was gonna say, like, I feel like because the tickets are so expensive for Beyonce, because of the retailers. Like, if you can afford to go to a Beyonce concert, scammers are definitely gonna be like, oh, you know what, we should definitely go rob these people's cars, because they got it.

• 16:03Speaker 06

  Excuse me, and first of all, how did they even get to the vehicle? Where was the secure, inside job, if you ask me? Because how, how do you get? Like, I've been on Toby Cat. I've been on Toby Chappelle.

• 16:17Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 06

  There's people watching the vehicles.

• 16:20Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 16:20Speaker 06

  When the show was going on. So how did that happen?

• 16:23Laci Mosley?

  Hmm, that's a good, that's a good theory.

• 16:25Speaker 06

  I don't know, there's no, it's not like she parked on the street.

• 16:28Laci Mosley?

  Right, that's true.

• 16:29Speaker 06

  You know, they're on a loading dock, they're in an underground.

• 16:32Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you're right. The Beyonce tour bus is not like triple parked, uh, um, in the front of the venue.

• 16:37Speaker 06

  Parking lot, shit. So, uh, how did that happen?

• 16:41Laci Mosley?

  This is a good point. I hadn't thought about that.

• 16:43Speaker 06

  Scammer, scammer in the camp.

• 16:45Laci Mosley?

  Mm, mm, mm. Well, you know Beyonce will sniff them out, so I'm gonna have to pray for them, cuz that's crazy.

• 16:49Speaker 07

  Scam!

• 16:52Speaker 08

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• 17:23Speaker 07

  They're down 21 with just over six minutes remaining. This is the moment, baby! This is the moment we separate the dogs from the boys. And if you ask me, I only got one question. Do you got that dog in you? Because it's never about the winners or the losers, but it is about the difference between those brave enough to put some action on the game and those who just wanna watch from the sidelines, eating off-brand pizza rolls. So sit down, lock in those pics, and trust that (meow) dog in you. Underdog. At least you're dog. Terms may apply.

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• 18:53Speaker 11

  I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of Smart Talks with IBM. I spoke with Dr. Lara Jayhai of Cleveland Clinic about how advanced computing is helping shorten the path from medical discovery to treatment.

• 19:06Speaker 12

  The moment that there is a compound that someone in a lab thinks it would be effective to treat a certain disease, it takes about 10 to 13 years from that moment to when that drug is on a shelf for a patient. A big part of that gap could be computationally solved. Better simulation of compounds, designing drug trials that are more efficient, that would finish faster. That was the motivation to bring computational tools and technology closer to biomedical researchers.

• 19:41Speaker 11

  Learn more about how Cleveland Clinic and IBM are using AI and quantum computing to revolutionize biomedical research at ibm.com/smarttalks.

• 19:56Laci Mosley?

  So let's get into our next segment here, Historic Hoodwinkings. This is where I'm going to regale you. Okay. For now, with a famous con caper group of criminals. I want your opinions all throughout. I'll ask you questions. Okay. And we might see some images up there. Feel free to chat about those. Okay, good. Because the listeners will see them as well when the episode drops. Okay. But, okay, so we're talking about something recent, in 2023. There were passengers who had paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for a three-year cruise, and they had their dreams dashed when the cruise company admitted they didn't actually have a ship. And the voyage was canceled. So they paid for a cruise from a company. And the company was like, oops, y'all, we actually do not have a ship. And we just learned that's an integral part of cruising is the ship part. Yeah, we didn't think it through.

• 20:41Speaker 06

  Neither did the passengers, because first of all, what kind of lunatic goes on a fucking three-year cruise? Five days and I'm ready to go to fuck home. Number one. Number two, if you can pay for a three-year cruise, you can afford to lose some money, because you already got the money.

• 20:58Laci Mosley?

  But they were going to 375 destinations.

• 21:02Speaker 06

  What kind of lunatic? Okay? You ain't getting no fried chicken or nothing. Have you ever been on a cruise?

• 21:09Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I've been on.

• 21:10Speaker 06

  You know there's no potato chips on a cruise ship?

• 21:13Laci Mosley?

  I never thought about that.

• 21:14Speaker 06

  I know, think about it.

• 21:15Laci Mosley?

  Wow, I never had a chip on a potato ship.

• 21:17Speaker 06

  There's no potato chips.

• 21:18Laci Mosley?

  Potato ship on a cruise ship.

• 21:20Speaker 06

  No potato chips.

• 21:21Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 21:21Speaker 06

  And so you're only gonna be eating cruise food. There's only so many lobsters you can eat, girl.

• 21:26Laci Mosley?

  That's true.

• 21:27Speaker 06

  I just want some neck bones, a black eye, B.

• 21:29Laci Mosley?

  Right, so many of that man's burgers.

• 21:31Speaker 06

  Maybe on the Soul Train cruise. Can you go three years on the Soul Train cruise?

• 21:34Laci Mosley?

  Hell, no, I ain't going three years on the Soul Train cruise.

• 21:36Speaker 06

  Well, that's the cruise, go three years on, shit. Teddy Riley, Niamh, and...

• 21:40Laci Mosley?

  Are they staying on the boat the whole three years?

• 21:42Speaker 06

  You tell me, it's not my scam.

• 21:44Laci Mosley?

  Well, listen, no, on this one, they were supposed to stay on the boat for three years and visit 375 different destinations.

• 21:50Speaker 06

  How many people can you fuck if you stay on a boat for three years?

• 21:53Laci Mosley?

  No, you gotta boo up at that point. You gotta get married on the cruise.

• 21:56Speaker 06

  I don't want, oh my god.

• 21:58Laci Mosley?

  It's not a fling, we go together.

• 21:59Speaker 06

  I don't know, I have an icebox where my heart used to be, so... I don't know, I don't want to be with nobody for no three years.

• 22:06Laci Mosley?

  Nope, it's bad, I'll see you on the Lido deck.

• 22:08Speaker 06

  On that Lido deck.

• 22:10Laci Mosley?

  We together, we together bad, three years?

• 22:12Speaker 06

  Yeah, three years.

• 22:13Laci Mosley?

  I better not see you doing karaoke with nobody else.

• 22:15Speaker 06

  If I'm on the boat for three years, I'm fucking the captain, I'm driving the boat.

• 22:19Laci Mosley?

  Okay, listen, driving the boat, literally. Shout out to Meg, I love it. Well, this was a Turkish cruise company called Mirae Cruises. And they launched this life-at-sea project after 30 years of sending boats around the Mediterranean. So they did have some, like, clout for sending boats around the Mediterranean.

• 22:35Speaker 06

  And then they got everybody.

• 22:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 06

  And they couldn't be found, they been found?

• 22:39Laci Mosley?

  We know who they are, so clearly they been found. Yeah, because I got their name, but...

• 22:43Speaker 06

  Who is it? Nevermind.

• 22:45Laci Mosley?

  It's Miray cruises.

• 22:47Speaker 06

  Miray Nam.

• 22:47Laci Mosley?

  Miray Nam. Miray Nam cruises.

• 22:49Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 22:50Laci Mosley?

  Yes. And so, this is March twenty twenty three. You know, we're fresh off of the height of the pandemic, like, senior citizens, people who just wanna get away, maybe, touch some ocean. I can see people wanting to escape after the grueling time that we had, like, you know.

• 23:05Speaker 06

  Listen, there are people who have retired to cruise ships. I do know about that.

• 23:10Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:11Speaker 06

  They done sold the house, sold the shit, said, fuck the kids, we out. They get on the cruise ship, go on the cruise, stay on the boat, like, they live there. I've seen that before.

• 23:21Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 23:21Speaker 06

  And that can be exciting, but three years, shit.

• 23:24Laci Mosley?

  It's, that's, that's way too long for me. But they do have a lot of different locations, so maybe they could spice it up, but no, I couldn't eat that cruise food. We would have to at least change the menu a lot, a lot, a lot.

• 23:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, where's the black deck? Where's the soul food deck?

• 23:36Laci Mosley?

  Yes, you need to have a black deck.

• 23:37Speaker 06

  That's what you don't have on a cruise ship either. You find me a cruise ship with black eyed peas, I'll book a trip tonight.

• 23:44Laci Mosley?

  For three years?

• 23:45Speaker 06

  No, bitch. I got shit to do.

• 23:48Speaker 06

  I got shit to do.

• 23:49Laci Mosley?

  We know you do.

• 23:50Speaker 06

  Five days, instant out of, that's it. I'm not going, yeah. No, I, I, I can't.

• 23:54Laci Mosley?

  Did you ever perform on one back in the day or anything?

• 23:56Speaker 06

  Yes, of course.

• 23:57Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I love that. I actually had a, an interaction with a comedian that was, like, not that great on a cruise ship.

• 24:03Speaker 06

  Who?

• 24:04Laci Mosley?

  I don't remember his name. No, I don't think he'd be working like that. It wasn't like a you. It, it, like, I walked up to him at the end of the set and I was like, oh, great set. I was like, and I think I was in college, and I was like, I really wanna do stand-up comedy. And he was like, well, good luck with that. And then just, like, left.

• 24:18Speaker 06

  And where's that fucker today?

• 24:21Laci Mosley?

  I don't know.

• 24:21Speaker 06

  Exactly.

• 24:23Laci Mosley?

  I don't know. Hopefully, he was booked to work on this cruise that never left.

• 24:27Speaker 06

  On the three-year bullshit cruise?

• 24:28Laci Mosley?

  Yes. So they were offering these tickets, um, for this three-year cruise, promising passengers a thousand days of sailing around the world in a floating apartment block. And it's not a vacation on these trips, like, you live here now. So they're trying to say, it's not a vacation, don't look at it that way, you live on the boat.

• 24:45Speaker 06

  I mean, if that's what they wanna do.

• 24:47Laci Mosley?

  And so, Miray was jumping on a trend of long-term, round-the-world cruising and offering it at a discounted price. So I know you said, like, who can afford that? Like, this is supposed to be the cheaper version for, so that everyday person can have an ap- a boat apartment.

• 24:58Speaker 06

  Well, you get what you pay for.

• 25:00Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 25:00Speaker 06

  Everyday people don't need an apartment on a goddamn cruise ship. Not every day.

• 25:05Laci Mosley?

  I think everybody needs to. I think everybody, you know they gonna be retired if they on this thing. But also, my thing is like, if we on there for 375 days, what happens if my apartment has like a? What if a?

• 25:17Speaker 06

  Is that it?

• 25:17Laci Mosley?

  Yes, that's the boat, right there.

• 25:19Speaker 06

  The boat that don't exist.

• 25:20Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah. Or maybe a boat that exists that they don't have.

• 25:24Speaker 06

  That's a AI boat.

• 25:27Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 06

  I ain't never seen no boat look like that.

• 25:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes, but listen, this is on Good Morning America, so that's how far they got with the marketing. Is they targeted the Good Morning America audience, and you know if you've done, I know you've done GMA, I've done it too. And like, that audience is like, a little bit, like, they're you, they're usually a little bit older, and they're either.

• 25:45Speaker 06

  White.

• 25:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, or, or women of middle age or more.

• 25:49Speaker 06

  And white.

• 25:50Laci Mosley?

  Okay, yes.

• 25:53Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, well, yes, but you know, it's like, either you watch GMA while you're getting ready to go to work, or you watch GMA when you're waking up to start your retirement day before you get to crocheting and shit, you know?

• 26:03Speaker 06

  Slow. Everybody retired is not fucking crocheting.

• 26:07Laci Mosley?

  Okay, I don't know, but you're not retired, how you know?

• 26:10Speaker 06

  I don't know, you're right.

• 26:12Laci Mosley?

  You work all the time.

• 26:13Speaker 06

  Yes, I do. Worked last night, working right now.

• 26:16Laci Mosley?

  Working right now. Trying to tell me what retired people do.

• 26:19Speaker 06

  Shut me down, I know what fucking time people do.

• 26:20Laci Mosley?

  Your guess is as good as mine.

• 26:22Speaker 06

  They get syphilis and shit like that. No, there's a lot of fucking going on at the senior citizens facilities.

• 26:27Laci Mosley?

  There is, cuz when you see, how you see the ads around Cali? Now the ads for like, cuz we have like A H F and like, a bunch of like STD awarenesses, things like, you might see a billboard that's just like, syphilis. And you're like, damn, it's a syphilis is back, and I'm like, oh my god. But they do now have the ads where it's not just the young sexy people hug, and they have the older people. Yeah.

• 26:48Speaker 06

  Nasty.

• 26:51Laci Mosley?

  So, we have a little video here of like, what this cruise would look like, so let's see what the advertisement is giving.

• 26:57Speaker 13

  Okay.

• 26:58Laci Mosley?

  Okay?

• 26:58Speaker 13

  An inside look at a voyage on the high seas like we've never seen before. As more and more passengers sign up for the world's first three-year cruise ship around the globe.

• 27:09Speaker 06

  They do.

• 27:09Speaker 13

  People, places, and things. I am excited to experience. 375 destinations.

• 27:17Laci Mosley?

  She's excited to experience.

• 27:18Speaker 13

  In 135 countries.

• 27:20Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, Luenell, you're right.

• 27:21Speaker 13

  Across all seven continents.

• 27:22Laci Mosley?

  She's trying to experience people.

• 27:23Speaker 13

  Could do that at home.

• 27:25Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you can experience people, places and things on land. She was trying to experience them locked on a boat.

• 27:30Speaker 06

  Look, she trying to be a little sea urchin out there and get that thing away.

• 27:34Laci Mosley?

  Listen, cruise eyes too, cuz like it's only so many people can be on the boat. So you're gonna have to make your choices, guys. It's limited.

• 27:41Speaker 06

  You just start at the top deck and work your way down. Everybody don't know everybody.

• 27:47Laci Mosley?

  That's true. So fare started at thirty thousand per person per year. Now, if you think about an apartment, that's like a little less than three than what you would pay.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  Don't ask me to do math right now.

• 27:57Laci Mosley?

  No, my brain is like doing this thing where I'm like, it's twelve months in a year. So, yeah, so it's like, that's like twenty-five hundred a month. So that's pretty, that's like.

• 28:07Speaker 06

  And you get laundry service.

• 28:08Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so this included accommodations.

• 28:10Speaker 06

  Right, cuz you don't have to.

• 28:10Laci Mosley?

  Food, mhm, drinks, laundry, and even healthcare.

• 28:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, cuz they have hospitals on ship. I went to one one time.

• 28:18Laci Mosley?

  Really? Yeah, it's like in the brig or the brig is the jail, right?

• 28:21Speaker 06

  Yes, it is. They got that on there too, where you, where you bullshitting.

• 28:24Laci Mosley?

  That's cruise prison.

• 28:25Speaker 06

  You been there too, Luenell? No, no, no, no, not on the ship. On land, not on, on the high seas.

• 28:33Laci Mosley?

  No, wait, I need to know if you get locked up on the three-year cruise, like, are you doing a bid under the boat?

• 28:40Speaker 06

  I, I think when they dock, they're gonna take your ass off that bitch.

• 28:44Laci Mosley?

  You're not gonna be like, Akon, I'm locked up, they won't let me out.

• 28:48Speaker 06

  No, you will be, but you getting off that boat.

• 28:49Laci Mosley?

  Okay, okay, you getting off the boat. Cuz I was thinking about that now. I'm like, how I'm doing three years on the, on the boat?

• 28:54Speaker 06

  Heaven.

• 28:56Laci Mosley?

  No, no. So they had like a hundred and eleven cabins, and they were trying to get a slightly older ship with smaller cabins so they can make it affordable for the everyday person. Now, the ship that we're looking at right now, that don't look old to me. Like, what's being advertised on GMA does not look old. It looks pretty nice and new.

• 29:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 29:13Laci Mosley?

  And the cabin looks pretty large. And cruise ship cabins are not this big unless you're looking at like a deluxe suite. So it's giving, y'all are doing a bait and switch, where you're showing me this nice, luscious ass boat, and then when I, when I show up, y'all was gonna put me on a buoy.

• 29:28Speaker 06

  That's like buying that property off the internet and you get there and it's a swamp.

• 29:33Laci Mosley?

  Oh my gosh, I once was looking at a place and the guy, I was like, okay, would you guys have any like pest problems? Or like rodent, rodent problems? Like I was renting an apartment and he was like, oh no, we don't, we don't. And I'm like checking the cabinets, trying to see if I see a roach bomb. Well, I said like, well, he actually was lovely enough that he was like, no, we have no pest roach problem, no roach problem. But if you leave crumb, roach will come. And I was like, okay, then that means y'all got a roach problem. What do you mean? This is the kitchen, the crumb is gonna happen.

• 30:02Speaker 06

  If you leave crumb, roach will come.

• 30:05Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 30:05Speaker 06

  Girl, that was funny.

• 30:07Laci Mosley?

  He didn't even add no S to the crumb, he, a crumb.

• 30:09Speaker 06

  A crumb.

• 30:09Laci Mosley?

  They coming outside.

• 30:10Speaker 06

  Roach crumb. I, I have a terrible cockroach story.

• 30:13Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 30:14Speaker 06

  Back in the days when I was living in Oakland, California and the crack epidemic was running rampant and I was smoking crack too. I went to a crack house, I put my purse on the floor and I think a cockroach crawled into my purse.

• 30:26Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 30:26Speaker 06

  The next day, I had to take the Bart train, which is like the L train or whatever like that.

• 30:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 06

  To a temp job. I got to the temp job, I put my purse on the desk and a cockroach crawled out my purse.

• 30:39Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 30:39Speaker 06

  My boss at the temp job was talking on the phone and I could see the cockroach going around the, the phone cord, coming up toward his mouth. Mortified, then they put the phone down before it got to his mouth and the cockroach came across the desk and it went in for, for the drawer and I slam, slam, slam, slam, slam, slam. The drawer and obliterated the cockroach, but that bitch followed me to work in my purse. The end.

• 31:04Laci Mosley?

  Now we just two working girls. Just locking in for the day.

• 31:07Speaker 06

  Come on, girl, catch a ride with me.

• 31:09Laci Mosley?

  Now the cockroach was like, girl, get up, we done.

• 31:12Speaker 06

  Crack life, come on to work with me.

• 31:13Laci Mosley?

  Crack is whack, get up, girl, we going to work.

• 31:19Laci Mosley?

  Oh, now my goodness.

• 31:21Speaker 06

  Girl, it's, it's.

• 31:22Laci Mosley?

  A wildlife.

• 31:26Speaker 08

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• 34:36Laci Mosley?

  So, remember the company that we're talking about? The Turkish company that had that nice-ass boat? They already had a boat called the MV Gemini, which was like a 19,000-ton vessel. And it was built in 92. Now, I mean, it's 2023 now. So, we don't get in a 1992 boat, basically. And it could accommodate 1,074 passengers. So, that's kind of around where they're looking for it. So, according to Mike Peterson, the managing director who was in charge of sales for the cruise at the time, by the end of March 2023, the team has sold 285 cabins out of 400 cabins. So, 285 people was lit. They wanted to go on this magic boat ride. But then, the engineers in April were like, "Hey, the ship actually can't accommodate this many people because it's old as hell."

• 35:21Laci Mosley?

  And so, they said they didn't have enough fuel capacity to make it across the Atlantic. They didn't have enough boat gas.

• 35:27Speaker 06

  Oh, no.

• 35:28Laci Mosley?

  Noah never had this problem with his ark. That's all I'm saying.

• 35:30Speaker 06

  Because Noah relied on Jesus.

• 35:33Laci Mosley?

  I think they were trying to rely on Jesus, too. They said, "Who needs gas when you got the Lord?"

• 35:38Speaker 06

  When you got Jesus.

• 35:38Laci Mosley?

  When you got Jesus.

• 35:41Laci Mosley?

  So basically, they were like, ooh, don't worry about it. We gonna get a new ship. This is actually the raggedy ship that they were using.

• 35:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, cuz that's not the ship that we saw at first.

• 35:48Laci Mosley?

  No, this is the ship that they were talking about using.

• 35:52Speaker 06

  It got a thousand people, neither.

• 35:54Laci Mosley?

  That ship is giving dysentery. It's giving all the toilets clog up and then flood. It's giving, I don't, I don't like it. So, May 30th, 2023, customer payment, like their deadline approached. So they told everybody you gotta pay by this much. So they probably got some kind of like chlor- and all, like installment. Like, if you ain't got it all up front, you can pay it down, right?

• 36:14Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 36:15Laci Mosley?

  So the managing director, and this is Mike again, he still hadn't received confirmation that they actually had a boat. Cuz like the other boat, remember, they was like, it don't got no gas, it's hella, hella old. Like, it was giving Titanic, so they were like, oh, okay, we gonna get another boat, and we will keep taking money. They never got another boat. They never got the Aura, which is supposed to be nice.

• 36:33Speaker 06

  So cut to the chase. What has happened to these people? With this money, like, they still standing? What's going on?

• 36:40Laci Mosley?

  Yes, so...

• 36:41Speaker 06

  They in jail?

• 36:42Laci Mosley?

  We, we gonna see in, in one more page, we gonna know.

• 36:45Speaker 06

  Okay, you got more info.

• 36:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 06

  Sorry, people, I'm trying to get to, I'm trying to get to...

• 36:49Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I know.

• 36:50Speaker 06

  Locked up, won't let me out.

• 36:52Laci Mosley?

  Yes, when they go to the brig, to the clink, yes. So, without consulting his bosses, this is Mike who was taking all the payments, he postponed payment deadlines for customers by a month. Meaning that he was, he was like, hey, we don't got no boat right now anyways, so... Well, actually, remember me different, I didn't say that. Um, hey, we gonna give y'all all a chance to get on the boat, so we're gonna postpone the deadline. Y'all keep giving your money. Meanwhile, they don't have a boat.

• 37:16Speaker 06

  Well, I don't know what to say, because I would never fall for no dumbass shit like that in the first place. I don't know.

• 37:22Laci Mosley?

  But how you gonna know, Luenell, if they got the boat? Anytime you booked a cruise ship, did you ask, like, hey, can I get a picture of the boat? With today's newspaper?

• 37:29Speaker 06

  I, I have never booked a cruise.

• 37:30Laci Mosley?

  I'm not saying you booked it.

• 37:31Speaker 06

  I've only been hired to go on cruises.

• 37:33Laci Mosley?

  That's what I'm saying, like, a booking.

• 37:34Speaker 06

  Well, I don't know. I'm not a mere mortal like that. I don't book cruises.

• 37:37Laci Mosley?

  Exactly, so you wouldn't know if they, you just show up to be the star. So how do you know if the boat gonna be there when you get there?

• 37:43Speaker 06

  I don't know, but I mean, I got my deposit and don't give a fuck. How about that?

• 37:48Laci Mosley?

  Amen. How about that? Okay? Yeah, these people were paying me.

• 37:52Speaker 06

  I'm like, oh, no boat? Okay, well, I'll just keep this fifteen thousand.

• 37:56Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 37:56Speaker 06

  And call me when you're ready, girl.

• 37:58Laci Mosley?

  Work, okay? See, you get booked. They are doing the booking. It's different.

• 38:03Speaker 06

  Okay, well, we have choices in this life. You know what I'm saying?

• 38:06Laci Mosley?

  True. Well, you know, everybody can choose to have talent like yours. That's a blessing from God. But that's very sweet of you to be like, everyone can choose to be Lu Nell. Why aren't you just being Lu Nell?

• 38:15Speaker 06

  Not me, but, you know. There are choices in this world. Yeah.

• 38:19Laci Mosley?

  It's not that hard.

• 38:21Speaker 06

  It's just like if you choose to be a doctor, you choose to be a lawyer, you gotta work at it. If you choose to be a-

• 38:27Laci Mosley?

  You think that-

• 38:28Speaker 06

  Artist?

• 38:29Laci Mosley?

  If you choose to be an artist, if you just work hard enough that you'll be successful?

• 38:32Speaker 06

  Not all the time, but it's certainly more easier now. With social media and all this bullshit.

• 38:38Laci Mosley?

  That's true.

• 38:39Speaker 06

  Like, there's a lot of singers that's on the, on the, on the radio that can't sing.

• 38:44Laci Mosley?

  Oh, man.

• 38:44Speaker 06

  There's talk show hosts on TV that aren't good.

• 38:47Laci Mosley?

  That's true.

• 38:48Speaker 06

  There's a lot of people that are working right now in the industry that ain't shit.

• 38:51Laci Mosley?

  That's true.

• 38:52Speaker 06

  And I name names if you want me to.

• 38:54Laci Mosley?

  Ooh! Not just turning to the-

• 38:56Speaker 06

  Okay, well-

• 38:57Laci Mosley?

  The Cat Williams episode.

• 38:58Speaker 06

  Cat Goddess.

• 39:01Laci Mosley?

  Lu Nell, no! No, but I know what you mean. Those Tiny Desk have been an eye-opener. I'm not gonna say who, cuz we go, we gonna lead with light and love for y'all.

• 39:10Speaker 06

  I really liked almost all of them.

• 39:12Laci Mosley?

  I like almost all of them too. So when I click on one that flops-

• 39:15Speaker 06

  Who you didn't like?

• 39:15Laci Mosley?

  I'm not gonna say. But I loved, I loved them back in the day when they were singing. And I thought they were so wonderful. And then they were singing and I was like, oh, no. Could you never be able to sing? You were just beautiful.

• 39:26Speaker 06

  I haven't heard a bad one.

• 39:28Laci Mosley?

  Oh, I'll tell you off the air.

• 39:29Speaker 06

  Okay, okay, okay. Remind me.

• 39:32Laci Mosley?

  I love this person too much to say it, cuz I'm still standing by it beside him.

• 39:35Speaker 06

  Okay, okay, I can't wait.

• 39:37Laci Mosley?

  The owner of the whole company, and his name is Vidat Ujiru. Um, he said, oh, don't worry about the, the, um, boat situation. We're gonna get another boat, so just keep taking the money. Cool, cool, cool. So, they keep taking the money. Kendra, who's another person who was promoted from Vice President of Strategy and Business to CEO, she-EO. She told passengers on Facebook, because that's definitely where you contact passengers.

• 40:02Speaker 06

  Wait a minute, she CEO.

• 40:03Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 40:04Speaker 06

  I'm gonna use that, I'm a she CEO.

• 40:05Laci Mosley?

  You are a she CEO.

• 40:06Speaker 06

  Oh my God, girl, you just gave me a little bar.

• 40:08Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 40:09Speaker 06

  I'm a she CEO.

• 40:11Laci Mosley?

  So, but why is the she CEO, not the tongue out.

• 40:15Laci Mosley?

  Real high girl shit, okay?

• 40:19Laci Mosley?

  He said, ooh, she CEO.

• 40:21Speaker 06

  A she CEO.

• 40:22Laci Mosley?

  So, she got on Facebook. Now, if I buy something, I don't want the company that I'm purchasing it from to contact me via Facebook. That's like if I purchase something on Amazon and Amazon get in my DMs like, hey, girl, we saw you wanted these fans for the concert. It's Amazon. I'm not gonna respond to that.

• 40:36Speaker 06

  I might. I need a friend at Amazon, clearly, because I've got an addiction.

• 40:42Laci Mosley?

  Lululemon, you're just trying to make friends everywhere. You need a friend at Amazon, you need a friend who's a pilot.

• 40:46Speaker 06

  I need a, I need a friend at the gas station. I need a friend at Amazon. I definitely need a friend at the Apple Store. I need a friend, um, at, at, at, at the grocery store. And, you know, because eggs, bitch. And so, I, I, I need friends, yeah.

• 41:05Laci Mosley?

  I feel like anytime you throw a party, it just looks like a corporate convention, like it's a friend from every industry.

• 41:11Speaker 06

  No, that's what I need. That ain't what I got. My friends crazy, rad shit.

• 41:16Laci Mosley?

  Oh, I love it.

• 41:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:18Laci Mosley?

  So, they, basically, they got on Facebook and they were like, we determined to keep this cruise going. The boat thing is a minor detail. We'll, we gonna have that later. Don't worry about that.

• 41:28Speaker 06

  How long we gonna keep talking about this goddamn boat?

• 41:30Laci Mosley?

  I know. So, basically, it was not happening. So...

• 41:34Speaker 06

  So, boom, that guy's scammed, next.

• 41:36Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so boom, yes. So, November 1st, 2033, they basically had to say to people that behind the scenes, they ain't get no boat. There's no boat. So, Mike had an incentive to keep selling these cabins even without a boat, because he was getting a cut.

• 41:48Speaker 06

  He's a real VIP.

• 41:49Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he was getting a cut.

• 41:51Speaker 06

  He's, he's still selling cabins on a boat that don't exist. And people are praying. I need to meet Mike. He's goat.

• 41:58Laci Mosley?

  He really is. And then, the company filed a defamation lawsuit against Mike, claiming that the cruise was taking place on a bigger and better ship. And people who had paid for cabins were confused. Where is the cruise, is like the ship happening or not? Are we getting on the cruise or not?

• 42:12Speaker 06

  No. Did they get, okay, did they get their money back?

• 42:15Laci Mosley?

  Well.

• 42:16Speaker 06

  Okay, that's a very deep lesson.

• 42:18Laci Mosley?

  The people who booked the 111 cabins that were already sold went to Istanbul. That's where the cruise was supposed to take off at, and they were stranded there. Yeah, they couldn't get back. It was very Gilligan's Island.

• 42:30Speaker 06

  Okay, so you got got. Lesson learned.

• 42:33Speaker 06

  Lesson learned.

• 42:34Laci Mosley?

  I mean, other people had nowhere to go back to, Luenell, because they had sold their apartments or their homes to fund them going on this cruise ride for three years.

• 42:44Speaker 06

  I want you to do a...

• 42:45Laci Mosley?

  Or they rented out their homes.

• 42:47Speaker 06

  Do we have any kind of breakdown, no matter how many black people was on this boat? One?

• 42:53Laci Mosley?

  I mean, it's pretty hard to get us on, uh... Now, we get on boats, but I feel like for three years...

• 42:57Speaker 06

  Not for three goddamn motherfucking years.

• 42:59Laci Mosley?

  Three years of...

• 43:00Speaker 06

  And not for... I'm not selling my motherfucking house. And I'm not paying no thirty motherfucking ass goddamn dollars. The fuck?

• 43:07Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and they sold their possessions too.

• 43:09Speaker 06

  I'm not selling my possessions neither.

• 43:11Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 43:12Speaker 06

  I like my shit.

• 43:12Laci Mosley?

  Not even some of them tops from Japan.

• 43:15Speaker 06

  No. I give them to my nieces.

• 43:19Laci Mosley?

  Well, yeah. I mean, look, some people had also boxed up their possessions into pods to be loaded onto the ship. So, everything that they owned, that they were bringing on the cruise, they also brought with them in pods.

• 43:29Speaker 06

  Did they never watch Titanic? Did they never watch Titanic?

• 43:32Laci Mosley?

  Oh, but the boats are better now, you know? People can see the icebergs.

• 43:36Speaker 06

  Are they really? Because I have seen some boats flip the fuck over recently.

• 43:40Laci Mosley?

  Okay, well, you know, that's points made.

• 43:42Speaker 06

  One of them just crashed into a dock about a week ago.

• 43:44Laci Mosley?

  Points are made. Points are made.

• 43:45Speaker 06

  Okay, anyway.

• 43:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I mean, but look, they got their possessions. They had everything and loaded it onto the ship. Those pods were in a Miami warehouse.

• 43:52Speaker 06

  All I want to know, how many black people was on the boat? Do they have a report about that?

• 43:56Laci Mosley?

  We do not have the racial dynamics of the people on the boat.

• 43:59Speaker 06

  Okay, let me tell you how many.

• 44:00Laci Mosley?

  Okay, how many?

• 44:01Speaker 06

  None. That's how the fuck many. Maybe one.

• 44:05Laci Mosley?

  I think you're spot on.

• 44:06Speaker 06

  Might be some interracial couples on it.

• 44:07Laci Mosley?

  Okay, yeah, that, that's happening. But, um, I think you're right. Uh, the full, the both black people...

• 44:12Speaker 06

  Girl, okay, we don't be having no thirty million dollars, thirty thousand dollars.

• 44:15Laci Mosley?

  It's thirty thousand dollars. Some people have that.

• 44:17Speaker 06

  I mean, I got that, but I'm gonna go fuck it off on no three-year ass goddamn. Okay, I'm sorry.

• 44:22Laci Mosley?

  But that was gonna be all expenses paid.

• 44:23Speaker 06

  People of Sirius XM radios that listen to Scout Golly, I wanna apologize for me.

• 44:28Laci Mosley?

  Don't apologize.

• 44:28Speaker 06

  I apologize for my fucked up ass attitude.

• 44:31Laci Mosley?

  No, you're amazing.

• 44:31Speaker 06

  And thinking that this is really stupid for somebody to do.

• 44:35Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 44:35Speaker 06

  Because some people really have faith and they really wanted to do it. And I think it's sad that they got fucked up.

• 44:40Laci Mosley?

  And you are entitled to your opinion, like, because a lot of people did make a lot of risky choices before knowing that they were really gonna be able to get on this boat.

• 44:48Speaker 06

  Somebody might be listening that did that and they don't wanna be called a stupid motherfucker.

• 44:52Laci Mosley?

  Yes, we don't judge here.

• 44:54Speaker 06

  I judge.

• 44:55Laci Mosley?

  And that's fine, you're the guest, you can do whatever you want.

• 44:57Speaker 06

  I listen and I judge. I'm judgy.

• 45:02Laci Mosley?

  I like that, it's like the opposite of that Twitter thread, it's like, we listen, we don't judge, I listen and I judge.

• 45:06Speaker 06

  I judge, clock it.

• 45:07Laci Mosley?

  For sure, clock, clock it, cuz I will, cuz, cuz Luenell will, Luenell will clock it.

• 45:11Speaker 06

  Period.

• 45:12Laci Mosley?

  Period. But, so, yeah, other people had stuff waiting in a Miami warehouse, so they had to pay to ship their stuff there and then also pay to return it when they realized there was no boat.

• 45:23Speaker 06

  I got no money to pay to return it.

• 45:25Laci Mosley?

  Mm.

• 45:26Speaker 06

  So now you're broke.

• 45:27Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, most of it spent tens of thousands of dollars.

• 45:28Speaker 06

  Okay, if you pay thirty thousand dollars to get on the boat, you know, when we get on boats, we still buy things, we still buy trinkets and buy souvenirs and buy things. I don't know, well, they must have, they got, they got the money to spare, they must have the money to spare.

• 45:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I mean, also, when you're thinking about it, it may not be spare money because it's cost of living, like, you're living someplace that's your apartment, on the water, and you have laundry and food and all these, like, entertainment things included, and you get to travel, so it's like, you're really kind of like, you're living on this boat, so.

• 46:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, but there's a casino.

• 46:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, there usually is on a boat.

• 46:04Speaker 06

  There's disco, and don't think them drinks are free, they're not.

• 46:08Laci Mosley?

  No, no, not the alcoholic ones, but you can go hit that juice down as much as you want.

• 46:11Speaker 06

  You can get that little boat card when you get on the boat and make you think you got credit. Oh, this round's on me. Yeah, let's get some drinks. Then, the night before you get ready to leave, they slide that little fucking paper up under your door. That's when people start jumping off the side of the boat.

• 46:26Laci Mosley?

  But see, the real drinkers be on TikTok, give you the tips. Like, most boats will let you bring two bottles of wine, and they're like, the trick is, you take out all the wine and you fill them all up with hard liquor. And everybody in your group does it. And then, we never have to go to the cruise ship bar. But I mean, for three years, you can't do that. You're gonna have to buy the booze.

• 46:43Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 46:43Laci Mosley?

  So, yeah, these people who were the victims, they had to link up online. What did that look like? I just wanna see a couple of the comments that the victims had.

• 46:52Speaker 06

  Oh, I would love to see.

• 46:53Laci Mosley?

  Okay, can we zoom? Can we see any of these?

• 46:56Speaker 06

  Make them read it. They're over there by the computer.

• 46:58Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 46:59Speaker 06

  You can read it.

• 46:59Laci Mosley?

  Okay, Rachel, you read it.

• 47:01Speaker 06

  Go ahead, baby.

• 47:02Speaker 14

  Hi, I am a life at sea refugees castaway.

• 47:05Laci Mosley?

  A castaway? She already talking to Wilson?

• 47:07Speaker 06

  Refugees?

• 47:09Laci Mosley?

  You are not a refugee. This is not a war-torn country you're leaving.

• 47:12Speaker 06

  Oh my god, okay, go.

• 47:13Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 47:13Speaker 14

  I was just interviewed by my local TV station two days ago and will be speaking to New York Times in the next two days. So I'm happy to answer any questions for you all here. We have a WhatsApp group where we talk to each other and someone got wind of your Reddit group and posted the link if we wanted to answer your questions. I'm an open book. One of the things my TV station got wrong was when they said I haven't been fully refunded yet. Like 96% of us have not been refunded. I haven't received one cent back yet.

• 47:40Laci Mosley?

  And that's great. I love that there is an organizer in here who was like, let's get the angry mob together, okay? I'm going to talk to the New York Times. I'm talking to anybody who'll listen to me. I'm going anywhere. They got a microphone, okay? Turn me on, turn me up.

• 47:53Speaker 06

  They can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. They can talk, they can TikTok. But what they can't do is get that $30,000 back.

• 48:04Laci Mosley?

  Oh, they're trying, no, they're trying.

• 48:06Speaker 06

  No, that dude, he done paid for Sid Bitch's condo, another boat that they really are on, and her wardrobe and all that, and her BBL and her Brazilian.

• 48:19Laci Mosley?

  Oh, can you imagine getting a BBL before you go on a three-year boat ride and then?

• 48:22Speaker 06

  I can't imagine getting a BBL, cuz you can't even sit down. When you leave the hospital.

• 48:27Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's a rough.

• 48:27Speaker 06

  What's it worth to you? God damn.

• 48:29Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, if you leave Miami, you're gonna see people in wheelchairs with like their knees on the seat. Like getting rolled to the plane and like flying back like that.

• 48:37Speaker 06

  Nah, I can understand because my security and I the other day saw a horribly flat booty lady. Who it just looked like she had a hole in her back where her booty hole is. This bitch had no ass. She, I could see get a little, a little enhancement.

• 48:52Laci Mosley?

  It's like when she get like she can go up to a, a flat wall and like touch every part of her back to, to her feet.

• 48:58Speaker 06

  Yeah. And I feel bad for her.

• 49:00Laci Mosley?

  Then it's like, maybe do it. If you want, we don't plastic surgery shame, but like BBLs are dangerous. So I don't know. Think wisely.

• 49:05Speaker 06

  And they stank. That's what Nicki Minaj said.

• 49:07Laci Mosley?

  Oh my gosh, they keep saying that on the web now. I'm like this, this whole phenomenon.

• 49:12Speaker 06

  Well, I ain't heard no men say they stank.

• 49:14Laci Mosley?

  I've seen some people on TikTok, but I don't know if it's for clout. Yeah. Or, or people who date women with BBLs, whoever that might be. They, that's a new thing that they saying. I don't, I feel like it might just be like we might go to the hospital. It's healing or something. I don't know. I don't pretend to know too much.

• 49:29Speaker 06

  If, if any part of your female anatomy stank.

• 49:33Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 49:34Speaker 06

  It's bad.

• 49:34Laci Mosley?

  That's true. It usually.

• 49:36Speaker 06

  Your feet, your armpits.

• 49:37Laci Mosley?

  A doctor can explain a lot of that.

• 49:39Speaker 06

  And I know some funky bitches and they got men. They got, they got men though. But some men like a little funk. It's a pheromone.

• 49:46Laci Mosley?

  Listen, okay, that's true. Pheromones are a real thing. You're attracted to certain people's sense, whether they're like wearing something or not. I'm just saying like, I don't know. It's a scam to go out of the country and get a discount, any type of surgery. So if you're doing that, that's a scam. Please go to a reputable doctor, please.

• 50:00Speaker 06

  Oh, Tijuana ass, low budget.

• 50:01Laci Mosley?

  Before, as we wrap this episode up, I do want to talk about arrival.

• 50:07Laci Mosley?

  You know, I can't, I love you so much.

• 50:10Speaker 06

  The fucking boat is on my nerves.

• 50:11Laci Mosley?

  I know, we gonna stop. It's a different boat, but we gonna be quick about it.

• 50:14Speaker 06

  Another boat?

• 50:15Laci Mosley?

  So another boat rolls from the ashes. Look at these people. They standing in front of the boat. So you know the boat's real.

• 50:21Speaker 06

  Where the black people at? There ain't none.

• 50:23Laci Mosley?

  You know, we're not there. You already said it.

• 50:25Speaker 06

  The people on the radio are gonna see the, uh, the, the, right?

• 50:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes, they're gonna see the screen.

• 50:30Speaker 06

  People, look at the screen. Tell me where the black folks are.

• 50:33Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 50:33Speaker 06

  They'll wait. See them mountains in the back? They over there barbecuing.

• 50:38Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, there was another company that pulled up and they were like, hey, we're actually gonna do this for real. So they have a residency ship and they are actually en route to Acapulco. So they're actually doing the damn thing for real. And look, they got fresh fruit and vegetables. Look, they got a man in a chef hat.

• 50:53Speaker 06

  They got no tacos. They got no potatoes.

• 50:55Laci Mosley?

  They're only looking at one thing he provided. This looks like breakfast.

• 50:57Speaker 06

  Where the meat at? I don't see no bacon.

• 51:00Laci Mosley?

  They got, they got the pools. They got everything. They got a boat.

• 51:03Speaker 06

  I'm not getting in that pool neither.

• 51:05Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no. We know that's just like a swimming pool. Or a, I mean, a toilet bowl.

• 51:08Speaker 06

  It's like a toilet bowl. Yeah.

• 51:11Laci Mosley?

  For little kids.

• 51:11Speaker 06

  Test tube.

• 51:12Laci Mosley?

  Yes, truly.

• 51:13Speaker 06

  Staff syphilis.

• 51:15Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no. Not back to that.

• 51:17Speaker 06

  I got my own pool now, so I'm a total bitch about it. I used to swim in the, in the pool parties in Vegas.

• 51:23Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 06

  But now, ever since COVID, I'm like, you know what? Maybe I'm not getting back in this water like that no more because, you know, you don't know what's up under them bikini bottoms.

• 51:33Laci Mosley?

  Okay, that's a fact. There's a lot of chlorine in there, so.

• 51:36Speaker 06

  Okay, but if you got 5,000 people in the pool.

• 51:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it does get a little warm.

• 51:40Speaker 06

  I want them to put that shit in the pool that make it turn blue if you pee and shame everybody.

• 51:45Laci Mosley?

  I have never actually seen that in real life. I wondered if it was.

• 51:48Speaker 06

  Really? Uh, you go in my, my friend's house, pee in their pool. You'll see it.

• 51:52Laci Mosley?

  You'll see it.

• 51:53Speaker 06

  Come pee in mine. And watch what happens.

• 51:55Laci Mosley?

  It's an invitation from Luenell to pee in her pool.

• 51:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, do it and watch what happens. I got some shit for that ass.

• 52:02Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my goodness. No, I'm too shook to ever pee in your pool.

• 52:05Speaker 06

  Mine turns red. It make you think you started your period.

• 52:07Laci Mosley?

  No.

• 52:10Laci Mosley?

  Not just trying to play mind games with people?

• 52:12Speaker 06

  I bet you won't piss in my goddamn pool no more, huh?

• 52:14Laci Mosley?

  What if it's a man and he go think they need to go to the hospital? Oh, no.

• 52:18Speaker 06

  Hemorrhoids.

• 52:19Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no.

• 52:20Speaker 06

  Just don't do that in my pool.

• 52:21Laci Mosley?

  Lordy.

• 52:22Speaker 06

  It's on Amazon. There's some shit out there.

• 52:24Laci Mosley?

  So Luenell, where do you stand on this scam? Are you mad at the company? Do you feel for the victims?

• 52:29Speaker 06

  I don't give a fuck about the victims or the company, about the fucking boat. Okay, this is the stupidest shit I've ever heard of.

• 52:36Laci Mosley?

  Luenell hates the boat. Fair, fine.

• 52:38Speaker 06

  Of course, I stand with the victim. Of course. You don't want nobody be scammed up their money. Life savings, they think they're gonna live in the lap of luxury.

• 52:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 06

  We're gonna get away from the minorities. We're gonna be on a motherfucking ship. We're gonna live our beautiful white life.

• 52:54Laci Mosley?

  That was the selling point?

• 52:55Speaker 06

  Yeah, no minorities. They're like, uh, sign me up.

• 53:00Laci Mosley?

  No, I, I also feel for the victims here, but, cause like they did like ship their stuff to Miami, or they tried to put it on the boat, and now you're paying thousands of dollars to go maybe not to any home at all. Or if you leased your place out to people, they're not leaving for three years.

• 53:14Speaker 06

  I hate scams. I hate that people get scammed. I hate that they scam the elderly. I think that's really fucked up. I hate that people's dreams got deferred. I think it's really terrible, and I think that there should be prosecution, restitution, and incarceration.

• 53:32Laci Mosley?

  I don't know if they're getting their money back, though.

• 53:34Speaker 06

  I know they're not getting their money back. I'm trying to wrap this up nicely. You know they're not getting that goddamn money back.

• 53:39Laci Mosley?

  That was sweet of you. That was kind of you.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Well, look what happened.

• 53:42Laci Mosley?

  Can we ask you, where would you like to be found? Anything you want to plug? Anything you want listeners to like go see, where they can see you?

• 53:49Speaker 06

  Well, apparently, this is all over the country, because it's beautiful Sirius XM radio, which I love, by the way. I have on all my devices, in my car, on my iPad, on my phone.

• 53:59Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 54:00Speaker 06

  I have a residency, a comedy residency in Las Vegas. I've been there for five years. I just signed for a couple more years.

• 54:08Laci Mosley?

  Congratulations.

• 54:09Speaker 06

  At Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club in Las Vegas, every Sunday and Monday night at 10:00 PM. Do not look for me in January or August. I will be on vacation.

• 54:21Laci Mosley?

  Love that.

• 54:21Speaker 06

  I also am on the road, going around to different countries and doing city wineeries and improvs and stuff like that. And you can find those tour dates, at least we post like for four months at a time, at heylunell.com, H-E-Y-L-U-E-N-E-L-L dot com. You can also follow me on Instagram, if you're Instagram girly or boy, at Luenell, L-U-N-E-L-L. And if you live in the Los Angeles area, I do a show call that time of the month, once a month, at Flappers. I just did one last night. It's in Burbank. It's the first Wednesday of every month to the end of the year. So we got September, October, November, and December, the first Wednesday of the month, Flappers in Burbank.

• 55:06Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 55:08Speaker 06

  You know, and there's so much more, but girl, you ain't. Had time, because the fucking boat ate up all my goddamn.

• 55:14Laci Mosley?

  We have time for you to talk about anything.

• 55:16Speaker 06

  Okay, well, you can catch me on Hacks, the series Hacks on HBO Max with Gene Smart. I also earned the voice of Millie in the animated movie Dog Man for the kiddies. And I also just did a voice for the Proud Family Christmas episode. And I have a show, there's a show coming out, just a sequel to the show, The Neighborhood. It's called Cratchit's and Tracy Morgan Show, be on Paramount Plus or Disney, something like that. And I'm single. How about that?

• 55:47Laci Mosley?

  Okay, and you're single.

• 55:48Speaker 06

  Let me wrap that up.

• 55:49Laci Mosley?

  And if you, if you drive a plane or a boat.

• 55:51Speaker 06

  Plane, uh, if you got a boat of your own.

• 55:54Laci Mosley?

  That's even better.

• 55:55Speaker 06

  Or if you're a pilot, get at me in my DM, put a little plane first, because I ain't got time to be reading out there. Put a little plane, a little boat, and I'll know that I heard you right here on Scam Goddess.

• 56:05Laci Mosley?

  Yes, and as always, you can find all of the images from the boat that Luenell loves so, so much at Scam Goddess Pod on Instagram. And you can find me at D I V A L A C I D V A Lacy on all platforms. You can get my books, Scam Goddess, anywhere books are sold.

• 56:20Speaker 06

  Oh, my God, did you self-publish your own book?

• 56:22Laci Mosley?

  No, not self-published.

• 56:23Speaker 06

  You got a book deal?

• 56:25Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 06

  Oh, you got the advance?

• 56:27Laci Mosley?

  Uh, yes.

• 56:27Speaker 06

  Oh, you got the bag?

• 56:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I got the bag.

• 56:29Speaker 06

  High five, girl.

• 56:30Laci Mosley?

  Thank you, sir.

• 56:30Speaker 06

  I ain't mad at you who published the book.

• 56:32Laci Mosley?

  Oh, Heshet. Yeah, and then I have a Scam Goddess television show that is airing, all episodes are airing now, on Hulu. And you can watch Going Dutch.

• 56:41Speaker 06

  Why I ain't on that one?

• 56:42Laci Mosley?

  What?

• 56:43Speaker 06

  Why I'm not on the one on Hulu?

• 56:44Laci Mosley?

  Oh, because that's me going around the country talking to victims of scams.

• 56:47Speaker 06

  Come down to Crenshaw, talk to me, there's a lot of scam victims down in Crenshaw.

• 56:51Laci Mosley?

  That is very true. We gotta go to Crenshaw. We, listen, we've been moving, we've been by.

• 56:55Speaker 06

  No, don't put Crenshaw last on the list, what's that?

• 56:59Laci Mosley?

  You're like, no, no, no, keep it low-key.

• 57:00Speaker 06

  I don't be on the Hulu show, I wanna be on the Hulu show.

• 57:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, oh, listen.

• 57:03Speaker 06

  Look for me on Hulu, everybody.

• 57:05Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 57:06Speaker 06

  Write, write Scam Goddess and say, put that bitch on your real TV show.

• 57:09Laci Mosley?

  As if Luenell doesn't have enough jobs. I'm not even gonna.

• 57:11Speaker 06

  You're right, I'm tired of this motherfucker right now, I'm about to slide out this chair right now.

• 57:14Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we, we got you. And Congregation, I want you to get out there and, you know,

• 57:19Laci Mosley?

  stay boating, all right? Stay boating with Luenell, because she loves, she loves the boat so much.

• 57:23Speaker 06

  Keep your black ass on the land.

• 57:25Laci Mosley?

  Drive the boat.

• 57:26Speaker 06

  Stay on land, black people, don't fall for the bullshit.

• 57:33Laci Mosley?

  Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Sisneros, and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 57:49Speaker 08

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• 58:18Speaker 07

  They're down 21 with just over six minutes remaining. This is the moment, baby. This is the moment we separate the dogs from the boys. And if you ask me, I only got one question. Do you got that dog in you? Because it's never about the winners or the losers, but it is about the difference between those brave enough to put some action on the game and those who just want to watch from the sidelines eating off-brand pizza rolls. So sit down, lock in those pics, and trust that dog in you, underdog. At least your dog. Terms may apply.

• 58:49Speaker 15

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• 59:33Speaker 15

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