Balancing on Booboo Bogus Bracelets w/ Jon Gabrus

Nobody was tripping in 2010, and maybe that was because all the cool people in the zeitgeist were wearing bracelets that claimed to harness the power of holograms to make you stronger, faster, more flexible, and possibly sexier, too. Jon Gabrus (ActionBoyz, Game Over, Man!) joins Laci to test their knowledge of physical balancing and placebos in the body. Plus, we break down the superstitions in sports, including Wade Boggs, Michael Jordan, and Jason Giambi. Stay schemin’! Keep the scams coming and snitch on your shady friends by emailing us at [email protected]. CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show Scam Goddess, now on Freeform and Hulu! Check out Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Jon Gabrus: @gabrus Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://gizmodo.com/powerbalance-admits-their-wristbands-are-a-scam-5723577 https://www.espn.com/nba/news/story?id=5989365 https://www.cbc.ca/news/power-band-bracelets-a-scam-professor-says-1.981932 https://www.mensjournal.com/style/the-25-biggest-fitness-fads-of-all-time https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-12135402 https://surfsimply.com/magazine/power-balance-science-or-scam https://quackwatch.org/device/reports/power_balance/ https://science.howstuffworks.com/hologram.htm https://www.espn.com/espn/news/story?id=5660039 https://bleacherreport.com/articles/24203-jason-giambi-wears-magic-gold-thong-for-sake-of-new-york-yankees

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 02

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• 1:13Speaker 03

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• 1:57Speaker 03

  paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

• 2:03Speaker 00

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• 3:25Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with another installment of the comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. We will get to know along the way. If you are an OG member of the congregation, go ahead and stand up, because you know I'm very what? Yes, excited, thrilled, elated. Today, we have one of the funniest humans. I get the privilege to call a friend, y'all. I got to know him early in his career, performing at UCB, and he continues to kill it as an actor and a comedian in these streets. He's an OG of this show who hosts his own Patreon podcast, some of you may know, called Action Boys. Yes, you've heard of it, Action Boys on Patreon.

• 4:06Laci Mosley?

  Look, this is just in, okay? And it's hot, hot, hot. Okay, okay, okay, okay? He just released his newest podcast called Staying Alive last Thursday. Okay, so y'all getting the inside tea on Staying Alive. So hop, hop, hop your ass over there and listen to Staying Alive. Yes, it's a new podcast about two comedic besties who just crept into their 40s and need to adjust their lives in order to stay alive. I couldn't be more thrilled to welcome back my friend John Gabrus to the show. Congregation, welcome Gabrus.

• 4:34Speaker 05

  My dearest congregation, guest pastor dropping by the Church of Scamomony to say hello. I'm so pumped to be here, Lacey.

• 4:43Laci Mosley?

  I'm so pumped that you are here. And also, like, you're very much are kind of giving me guest, like, youth pastor energy with this hat and this stuff.

• 4:49Speaker 05

  I got the forward hat, I'm like, you know what? God had tattoos. They were on his hands and his feet. Or Jesus, rather. Is Jesus? I don't know, I'm not religious anymore, so I don't remember any of that.

• 4:59Laci Mosley?

  Okay, this is a bad start to your sermon, but we'll...

• 5:02Speaker 05

  Look, I just came from Pope Francis. I just visited Pope Francis and said hello, shook his hand, and then he said, "I'm out of here and killed himself."

• 5:08Laci Mosley?

  Yo, the fact that J.D. Vance was like the last official meeting with Pope Francis, like, that administration can never not take a goofy L. The other day, they had, like, whatever football team won the championship.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Ohio State, where he went.

• 5:19Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, Ohio State, and J.D. got up there and dropped the trophy.

• 5:23Speaker 05

  And then he's like, "Wow, my week can't get any worse."

• 5:26Laci Mosley?

  And then he kills the Pope. What a week. Dropping trophies, killing popes, you know?

• 5:32Speaker 05

  But hey, he's crushing it and leading the country.

• 5:36Laci Mosley?

  Yes, to hell, to hell, okay? We are right on schedule to hell, okay?

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Next stop, Hades.

• 5:43Laci Mosley?

  Literally. Hell was like, "Damn, they gonna get here early at this rate."

• 5:48Laci Mosley?

  I know you was dragging them to hell, this is more of like a power walk.

• 5:52Laci Mosley?

  We've never had so many people enthused to get to hell. So I always ask John, what's your relationship with scams? Have scams happened recently? Have you been scammed? Any that you're just interested in? It could be literally anything.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  I, I feel like I've been... Well, I grew up on Long Island where everyone aspires to be a light scammer. Like any kind, even like to this date, like my 65 year old mother, if she's got some kind of like loophole that she's exploiting, she loves to talk about it. She's like, well, Jonathan, the thing is, they don't actually weigh the salad till after, you know, like some kind of like weird scam. And there's always just this pride in taking it, but it's never scamming other people. That was like the power, like scamming, uh, scamming corporations and entities.

• 6:36Laci Mosley?

  Scamming up, like they're already scamming us.

• 6:38Speaker 05

  No scamming down.

• 6:39Laci Mosley?

  No scamming down. All their fakeflation, all of their, yeah, it's like, we have to even the playing field a little bit.

• 6:45Speaker 05

  Recently, I think I, I got one of these like light scams where I didn't get, uh, flight insurance and I got charged for it and I can't, I can't tell if someone did this like on me or if I did it myself. And then there's like no paper trail to figure out. So I'm, and luckily I'm at this place in my life where I could say, I don't know if this 2473 is actually my money. I'm just not gonna touch it, whatever. Fine. I'll eat $24.73, but it is driving me up a fucking wall that I'm like, I didn't spend this money. And now I'm like, but now I have to eat it because it's too much effort otherwise. And that's the kind of shit that gets me all worked up is when like corporations know that it's like,

• 7:27Speaker 05

  oh, we'll just exhaust you. Like, oh, yeah. Oh, you want your eight dollars back? Yeah, no problem. Hold on. Just put you on hold for this, put you on hold for this.

• 7:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, enter my riddles three under the bridge.

• 7:37Speaker 05

  And just, they just know you'll give up. And I say this spiel so much, like in this fucking society we live in, I am computer savvy, I speak fluent English and I'm pretty fucking smart. That is not true for every single person and like, it must be, if you are like, uh, uh, like a non-English speaking mother of three, trying to get your fucking $18 back from something. That's a fucking nightmare. You're doing two jobs and, and being a mom and, and, and hitting two for Espanol. And you're still like, like that's gotta be so. You have to like dedicate a half day each week to like being unscammed. You have to be like, alright, well, Mondays from 10 to 2, I work on stopping these scams that are happening to me.

• 8:20Laci Mosley?

  That's just my dedicated scam stop time. Like, other people meditate. It's like, no, I just like get my folder out and I start fighting every business that's scamming me currently.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  You kinda have to, because like, in order to stave off the unending waves of scams that are coming at you. Some that you are willingly participating in, in some capacity, and some that you don't even realize are hap- You know, you, you wake up with like, I wake up with like four missed calls from my Long Island area code every day. And all of them are just like, hello, hello, hello? Or asking me about my mom's home address and if I'm willing to sell.

• 8:54Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 8:54Speaker 05

  And that terrifies me a little bit. I don't like that I'm like connected to an actual address that is connected to my family, like.

• 9:00Laci Mosley?

  Right, that they have, they have a little bit of real information.

• 9:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, that actually kinda sketches me out a little bit.

• 9:04Laci Mosley?

  Like, hey, John Gabers, how you doing? Love the last podcast episode of Action Boys. Wanted to know how you felt about selling your mother's home. Like, sir, why are you calling me with this? In any other nation, I feel like that would be the weirdest thing, that people can call us directly to our phones and try that and loan consolidation. I get three of those calls each day.

• 9:23Speaker 05

  I don't even have loans.

• 9:24Laci Mosley?

  Exactly. I don't have, they were like, we can consolidate up to 84,000. I said, who got 84,000?

• 9:30Speaker 05

  I don't have.

• 9:30Laci Mosley?

  Who? What?

• 9:31Speaker 05

  I'm 43, I paid off college. I'm done, I'm finally done. I don't wanna talk about this shit no more.

• 9:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and more so, I don't wanna talk about this shit no more. Like, what the fuck is you calling for? This is like some ex situation. I feel like we're going into the past. Like, I'm not that girl, that girl anymore. I don't know her.

• 9:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, the last thing I need is like some podcast listener who knows my mom's address, some chucklefucker throws like a Molotov cocktail through my window or some shit.

• 9:54Laci Mosley?

  Damn, it's gonna get bad, dude. They just wanna sell it, John.

• 9:57Speaker 05

  I can't believe he said on Scam Goddess that JD Vance is a piece of shit. I love him. Blow my fucking mom's house up.

• 10:02Laci Mosley?

  Lord. I, I blocked the number, but they always find new ways to call you.

• 10:07Speaker 05

  Bro, I have like hundreds of numbers blocked, like of, but I'm also like-

• 10:13Speaker 05

  What if someone else like gets that phone? Like, how are scammers spoofing numbers? Am I blocking like?

• 10:18Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, they spoof numbers for sure. That's how they have the fake numbers that can call and it looks like it's from the social security office, but it's really them using some techno, like some software to change the way that their number appears when it comes to your phone.

• 10:30Speaker 05

  And so, and that's so frustrating because I get it a lot from like my, you know, like, they know what they're doing. It's like the area code of where I grew up. So I'm like, is it my mom calling from the hospital? Is it my, someone calling about something? And then, and it's just like, hello? Hello? Hello? And that's usually what it is, is someone just saying, because I let it go to voicemail. They just say hello three times and then hang up.

• 10:48Laci Mosley?

  They don't read your little script? They be reading the little script in my voicemail.

• 10:51Speaker 05

  I got a script every, I gotta, you know, if I hard. You did it for an audition, right?

• 10:55Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah. I actually auditioned to be one of them telemarketers. They said it wasn't the right job for me.

• 11:01Speaker 05

  You're too booked and busy. We can't, we can't, you got a third show and you're a telemarketing scammer now?

• 11:07Laci Mosley?

  I was, look, you know, times are gonna be hard now with, with the tariffs. Okay, you gotta get a new phone number. I gotta know, like, hello, this is me from Cal Credit Consolidators, United America States. Are you poor? They said, okay, they told me I'd stop asking people if they were poor. Okay, my bad.

• 11:25Laci Mosley?

  Are you experiencing financial poorness? Just don't say poor at all?

• 11:29Speaker 05

  Ma'am, that's the same shit.

• 11:30Laci Mosley?

  Okay, okay. Are you broke as fu-? No? Okay. They said I can't say that. Like, I would, yeah, I would go off script constantly. Like, what y'all eating over there? Ooh, that smell good? Well, it sound like it smell good. Would you like to eat more of it once you consolidated all of your loans, poor person?

• 11:46Speaker 05

  What if I told you you could have calzones every weekend? All you have to do is consolidate your three, you have, oh wait, you have no loans. Okay, yeah, sorry, I'm looking at my chart here. Would your mom sell her house? What about her car? Eighty-nine Buick Century? Wait, what about your mom sell that little dress? You know, the one I'm talking about, the little red one? What the fuck, who is this?

• 12:04Laci Mosley?

  She too grown for that dress anyway. Yeah, I saw, yeah, she wore it to your cousin's wedding. What she think about selling that? Because we also have a deal with Poshmark, so she can sell all her hoochy ass clothes off because she too grown for that.

• 12:13Speaker 05

  Mom, they wanna sell your hoochy ass clothes off.

• 12:18Laci Mosley?

  Look, we're just trying to sell anything we can of yours.

• 12:21Speaker 05

  That's fucking terrifying to know that much about me. I get stressed out.

• 12:24Laci Mosley?

  But in another way, we do put all of our information on the internet. So it's kind of like rife for that.

• 12:28Speaker 05

  Well, that's another thing that this is how I know I'm old. It's like every time I do anything, I have to give them like my email. Just to come to serious, I have to put my email, my phone number, who I'm like, all this.

• 12:39Laci Mosley?

  You gave us a real email? That's crazy.

• 12:41Speaker 05

  I know, I don't know. What am I doing?

• 12:42Laci Mosley?

  Yo, Jessica, make sure we get that information.

• 12:46Speaker 05

  Lacey, you scam to get my email, an email you definitely have. But you're going all about just to win this little miniature scam.

• 12:54Laci Mosley?

  Yes, yes. Well, sometimes it's about the feeling. It's about the high, okay? It's not always about the stealing. Sometimes it's about the healing.

• 12:59Speaker 05

  Ooh, I like this. You ever go to like one of these sites and they're like, please put in your like, oh, I use this site all the time. Let me just put my email and password in there. They're like, great, welcome back, Lacey. Just to prove it's you, can you give us your phone number? And we're going to text you six digits and then you're going to put those six digits in. And then you're like, okay, great, I did that. Then you're like, click remember me. And then an hour later, you come to go back to the same website.

• 13:20Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, who is this?

• 13:21Speaker 05

  Who the fuck is this?

• 13:22Laci Mosley?

  Who are you? What do you want?

• 13:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, or my computer will say like, we recognize a login of your computer on a different device. And I'm like, is it because I'm looking at my phone right now? And I'm like, I hit accept. And then my phone is like, do you accept that someone's allowed to look at your phone? I'm like, huh? It's me. Hello, phone?

• 13:39Laci Mosley?

  I love a two-step though. I've been hacked too many times. So I'm like, let's do a two-step. Let's.

• 13:43Speaker 05

  Are you at the two-step? Should I be two-stepping?

• 13:45Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you got a two-step. You got a two-step. It's not just a dance, guys. When you get older, you literally got to hit that password two-step.

• 13:51Speaker 05

  The amount of black people in my life tell me I got to learn to two-step. Is it very interesting? This is the first one that's about authentication and not just dancing.

• 13:58Laci Mosley?

  No, you got to dance while you do it. You do have to dance.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  That's why I call it that.

• 14:01Laci Mosley?

  Yes, you do have to. It's like you shuffling side to side while you entering your, you know, your date of birth and favorite plant. You know, security questions.

• 14:10Speaker 05

  Oh, and then you see fucking people on Twitter be like, retweet this with your grandma's maiden name. It's like, guys, this is people looking for your fucking question.

• 14:17Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and you should retweet it. When I tweet stuff like that, you should definitely retweet it. Okay? And mom's first car, first home address.

• 14:25Speaker 05

  Last four digits of your social. You know what? Fuck it, give me the first five, too.

• 14:28Laci Mosley?

  Right, I just want to get to know you.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  What's your PayPal password again?

• 14:32Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that was the first number anybody gave you at birth.

• 14:34Speaker 05

  That's your hinge prompt?

• 14:35Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 14:36Speaker 05

  What's your PayPal password?

• 14:38Laci Mosley?

  Let's fall in love.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  That sound? That's the National Squash League. Pro teams, the world's best players, and rallies so fast you'll forget to breathe. Season four is in full swing and every match streams free on YouTube. Big hits, bigger rivalries, and a front row seat from wherever you are. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.

• 15:13Speaker 01

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• 15:44Speaker 06

  Hi, I'm Jenna Oshkowitz. You might know me from Glee. This is At the Table, the food allergy podcast. A show about food, connection, and what it really looks like to live with food allergies. Each episode, we hear stories from real people like Daniel.

• 15:59Speaker 07

  People would always think I was lactose intolerant, so I just kind of shortened my explanation to I'm deathly allergic in a big way that defined a lot of my childhood.

• 16:10Speaker 06

  And while there are challenges, there are moments that remind you you're not alone. One of the best guys that I dated, he made a point to memorize all my food allergies. So join us and hear their stories and more. Because living with food allergies isn't just about what you can't eat. It's about still having your seat at the table. Brought to you by Genentech and Novartis. Listen to At the Table, the food allergy podcast, on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow At the Table and start listening on

• 16:38Laci Mosley?

  Free iHeartRadio app today.

• 16:44Laci Mosley?

  Let's get into historic hoodwinkings here. I'm Gayle John with the famous con caper group of criminals. We don't know yet. Maybe we like them, maybe we hate them. We'll see along the way. But today, we're gonna time travel.

• 16:54Speaker 05

  Ooh, I love it.

• 16:55Laci Mosley?

  We're time traveling all the way back to the year 2010.

• 16:59Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 17:00Laci Mosley?

  That was almost 15 years ago.

• 17:03Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 17:03Laci Mosley?

  Can you believe?

• 17:04Speaker 05

  It's so funny that in 2010, I was old.

• 17:09Speaker 05

  I was 28, I think.

• 17:10Laci Mosley?

  I was an adult. I was for sure an adult. So as you might notice, all the biggest athletes in the world had something in common at that time. They were wearing the same accessory. A bracelet that uses the power of holograms to make you stronger, faster, and more flexible. Ooh, and sexier, too.

• 17:33Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 17:34Laci Mosley?

  Probably.

• 17:35Speaker 05

  I need this shit in my life. I don't care if it's a scam.

• 17:37Laci Mosley?

  So we have the bracelets up there. This is the powered energy bracelets. Of course, you know, they didn't work. But everyone from Robert De Niro to Bill Clinton was rocking these bracelets. These balance bracelets with their sexy enhancements.

• 17:54Speaker 05

  They look so fucking corny. They look worse than the Lance Armstrong Liv Strong bracelets. People who are on the IG have seen this already. But for the listeners, it looks like a bad kid's watch. But in lieu of where the watch face is, it's like a fucking hologram pog or some shit. It's just like.

• 18:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it is kind of giving spy keys.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:15Laci Mosley?

  Like you gotta put your bracelet next to somebody else's and then the powers activate.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  They change colors or they magnetize together. And you're like, that's about as cute as it gets.

• 18:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 18:22Speaker 05

  That's fucking crazy. I do understand, though, being like an old bloke at the time and getting and seeing these and going like, well, it can't hurt my, you know, it's not like taking weird pills or something. So you're Robert De Niro, you're like, oh, maybe I'll try this on. You know, you slap that bad boy on, see what it is. Bill Clinton needs all the power balance he can get in his life.

• 18:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, cuz you know, sometimes he stoops low and then next thing you know, a blowjob's happening. So he's like, he got these right after Monica Lewinsky.

• 18:48Speaker 05

  I gotta keep my balance.

• 18:49Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he was like, I was wobbling over when I had sex with her. But now that I got this, this balance bracelet on, I'm not sleeping with none of my interns.

• 18:55Speaker 05

  I put it around the base of my cock.

• 18:59Laci Mosley?

  No, Johnny needs to be putting it on his arm so he can stay balanced. When he didn't have it, he was falling down into people's mouths. So he, he needed. So there was bracelet fever, okay?

• 19:12Speaker 05

  This is, are we, we're, we're kind of embarrassed as a society about this, right?

• 19:17Laci Mosley?

  About bracelet fever?

• 19:20Speaker 05

  I'm sorry to say, but your son died. He contracted bracelet fever.

• 19:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 19:25Speaker 05

  There's no known cure.

• 19:26Laci Mosley?

  No known cure. They said something about taking the bracelet off. We haven't tried it yet. We haven't tried it. But there are experimental, experimental trials going on with removing the bracelet. So in the late aughts, they were like crazy for wristwear from Liv Strong bracelets, like you mentioned, John, to magnetic amulets that would heal or optimize you for the low, low price of $29.95.

• 19:47Speaker 05

  That's another thing too. I, I, I, you don't want to spend a shit ton of money, but when something's like, look, it'll fix your life. It's 18 bucks. You're like, how? How is this shit only 20? Like you can't tell me it's got all these properties and it's only $30. That is ugly AF. I mean, that's the shit that like a guy named Kombucha Jesus comes into your house. The guy who sells you mushrooms is.

• 20:07Laci Mosley?

  Who's constantly barefoot.

• 20:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:09Laci Mosley?

  He doesn't wear anything on his feet, but he's always got something on his wrist.

• 20:12Speaker 05

  It's best for balance. Yeah. I remember there was a lot of copper stuff at the time too.

• 20:16Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 20:17Speaker 05

  A sleeve with copper inside of it, underwear with copper, like.

• 20:21Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we really thought we were doing something with it. I thought we were just supposed to rip that out of walls that were like.

• 20:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, I thought when the landlord kicked you out, you just carved.

• 20:27Laci Mosley?

  Took all the copper, copper. I didn't know you were making, somebody was taking all the copper after getting the victim was like, you know what? I'm gonna make bracelets with it.

• 20:34Speaker 05

  I'm gonna sell bracelets and then man heads keep getting like electrocuted on the street.

• 20:39Laci Mosley?

  No, no, no, that just means that you're upset. The world is sending electricity to you.

• 20:43Speaker 05

  That's what it's for. That's the power balance. You have the balance of power now.

• 20:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. And this one is so, right. And it's so ugly. It looks like a hair tie and then somebody just wrapped like an old like gum wrapper around it and was like, this is something.

• 20:56Speaker 05

  Oh man. And does that say I renew?

• 20:58Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 20:59Speaker 05

  This is of the era where they were putting the lowercase i in front of stuff to try to run off the iPod and iPad power of like, we're pretty much the same thing.

• 21:08Laci Mosley?

  We don't capitalize our eyes either.

• 21:10Speaker 05

  We're just like Apple. And yes, we are a hair tie. We're a scrunchy company, but we are just like Apple.

• 21:15Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, no, that branding, though, that definitely gives me like Apple product. Once they say I renew, I was, I'm on board.

• 21:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm in.

• 21:24Laci Mosley?

  But now I'm gonna put it everywhere. And I love that for all of us. So 2999 seems like a lot to me for a piece of rubber, but okay. In 2007, a company called Power Balance began selling silicone bracelets embedded with holograms, designed to interact with the body's natural energy flow.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Now, look, I'm all woo-wooed out, and I've been living in LA for 15 years.

• 21:47Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so you were fully woo-wooed.

• 21:48Speaker 05

  Married to a white woman. That's like, you hear about this stuff a lot. I can't imagine how a hologram, which is just a visual thing, harnesses any power. It's like saying like, this pointillism drawing will harness the power. It just doesn't, I can't.

• 22:03Laci Mosley?

  No, because you gotta think about it's like the energy is coming out. And everybody knows the energy really loves to like just just out of your wrist. Energy right here just shoots out every day.

• 22:13Speaker 05

  That's why the lady at the perfume counter hit you on that.

• 22:16Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, hit your wrist. All the energy and the power is right there on that wrist. So you're putting on this bracelet and the hologram's fighting that, and they refracted.

• 22:23Speaker 05

  I'm only familiar with like holograms from like comic book covers and like collectible cards and like shit like that, or like trapper keepers that were holograms or whatever. Now you're telling me actually these have healing properties? Like if I put my fucking binder on my back when I was in high school?

• 22:38Laci Mosley?

  You never take like a Charizard to your chest? You never did that?

• 22:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, I only when I'm flying for safety.

• 22:48Laci Mosley?

  Hell, these days you might need that.

• 22:51Speaker 05

  Might need a little more than Charizard.

• 22:54Laci Mosley?

  When all the plane industries like catch slogan starts to be, we land. It's like, yeah, we're in trouble. They're like, we get off the ground and we also land over here.

• 23:02Speaker 05

  Are you Diamond Medallion status? Yes. Oh, great. We'll take this plane. This one.

• 23:05Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah, because you're definitely gonna land. Okay. You getting on one of them landing planes. Okay. Now, wait, you said you were flying standby? Okay, we're gonna try to see if we can get you on one of them landing ones, but uh.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Do you think a plane would let you on with your, if your carry on was a parachute? Or would they think you were doing something too sketchy? Like, I mean, I have a little bit of terrorist face, but I could imagine, I'm like, no, look, it's you guys. I don't trust you guys.

• 23:26Laci Mosley?

  Do you have terrorist face? If you grew your beard a little longer, maybe.

• 23:29Speaker 05

  You know what I have? I have more, I have like domestic terrorist face. I look like a Jan sixer or like, you know, like.

• 23:35Laci Mosley?

  Okay, if you wore January sixth, I would, knowing you, I would be like, what the hell are you doing here? But if you put on the outfit and stood next to somebody.

• 23:43Speaker 05

  Camo, you know what I mean? If I wore like Hunter's camo, I have the face that definitely confuses people where they lean over and be like, that was pretty fucking gay, huh? And I'm like, I'm actually kind of a little gay. Oh, sorry, sorry, sir. I constantly have to like.

• 23:56Laci Mosley?

  Not a bigot? I'm not a bigot, guys.

• 23:58Speaker 05

  I have this accent and this face. I can't help that, but I am open minded.

• 24:02Laci Mosley?

  No, I feel like you're a little too well groomed to be one of those guys, but if you really let it go, stop washing your hands, really grew the beard out, maybe.

• 24:10Speaker 05

  That's when I have to go undercover in the near future to help stop the spread of fascism.

• 24:15Laci Mosley?

  Right, you gotta go to the meetings, you gotta go to the secret meetings.

• 24:17Speaker 05

  So I need you to keep it a secret when all of a sudden I'm canceled and I go right wing as a podcaster, understand that that's just me going on. I mean, that's actually a good cover story. I was not, I was canceled by the government because they needed me to go undercover.

• 24:29Laci Mosley?

  Yes, this is all of it.

• 24:30Speaker 05

  My assistant.

• 24:34Laci Mosley?

  You're saying it now, but I'm sure some comedian is trying it out at this very moment.

• 24:38Speaker 05

  Soon enough, yeah.

• 24:39Laci Mosley?

  At this very moment. In fact, some already have. Oh, Lord. But yeah, so they got holograms in them, you know, that's really gonna help with your energy and your balance and the flow. I don't know which way the energy's supposed to flow, in or out, they don't say, they just said it's flowing. So it was the same year that the first iPhone came out, so it was a big year for cutting edge technology. So like you said, they got their lowercase i too, because they were like, we know what the girls are after, the lowercase i.

• 25:04Speaker 05

  We're just like the iPhone, except we're a hologram bracelet that helps you heal. You're like, okay, wait.

• 25:09Laci Mosley?

  No, it's an iPhone.

• 25:10Speaker 05

  DM my dick to strangers.

• 25:12Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, well, this one, uh, it DMs your energy to strangers.

• 25:16Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 25:17Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's not made out of glass, it's made out of rubber.

• 25:20Speaker 05

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna direct message you my vibes. Enjoy.

• 25:23Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, what's better than that? What's better than that? So they have an ad for the i Renew. Bracelet that we're gonna see here. Um, and we've got a guy in khakis, uh, and a polo doing a, doing a bit. He looks tech.

• 25:37Speaker 07

  Let's face it.

• 25:38Laci Mosley?

  Let's face it.

• 25:39Speaker 07

  We all have times when we feel weak and run down.

• 25:41Laci Mosley?

  Mm-hmm. I'm a student right now, so I'm pretty stressed out of my mind. Okay, I need a break. Can I just sit down for a second?

• 25:48Speaker 07

  So what if I told you that regaining your strength and feeling renewed was as easy as wearing this?

• 25:53Laci Mosley?

  That is so cool. That's crazy. Not that I got a black person saying that's crazy.

• 26:00Speaker 07

  What is it? Wow. Hi, I'm Martin.

• 26:02Laci Mosley?

  What is it? Wow.

• 26:03Speaker 07

  And all of these people are excited about I Renew, the revolutionary bracelet.

• 26:07Laci Mosley?

  Wait, can we pause it?

• 26:08Speaker 05

  The revolutionary bracelet is an insane, uh, by the way, the dude put it on and went, wow. No demonstration of what it did to him.

• 26:15Laci Mosley?

  What it did or anything. And then the black person, we know it ain't doing shit, because they were like, that's crazy.

• 26:20Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 26:21Laci Mosley?

  That could literally mean anything. When black people say that's crazy, that usually means we're not listening to the story.

• 26:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:26Laci Mosley?

  Or, you know, we're like, kind of, oh, that's crazy.

• 26:28Speaker 05

  The frequency in which I hear a black person say that's crazy is when they're holding a FaceTime that's open that they're not looking at.

• 26:33Laci Mosley?

  Exactly.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  And their friend is talking and they go, that's crazy.

• 26:36Laci Mosley?

  That's crazy, for real? Damn. It's like, I'm very much having an unengaged conversation with you.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  Lacey, you are demonstrating the perfect way to hold the phone. The woman I'm behind in the coffee shop is talking fully to a friend.

• 26:48Laci Mosley?

  And all they see is the roof of where you're at. And you're like, that's crazy, for real? Damn. And then like, the one lady was just, the old lady was like, what does it do? And they cut her off real fast.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  We can't explain that.

• 27:01Laci Mosley?

  She was like, what's it do? And they're like, see, everybody's crazy about this new bracelet. I'm like, that last lady asked the question.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  They just putting it on people in the mall and you're like, whoa, yeah, I feel much stronger. Also, I don't want to pile on people, school is hard, but when someone's like, I'm really stressed right now, I'm a student. I'm like, girl, wait till real life.

• 27:19Laci Mosley?

  I don't know, she, her eyes look kind of dark. Life might have been life in her ass already. Honestly, I was a little concerned for her. Because it wasn't like-

• 27:28Speaker 05

  She, she, she was like breaking up a little, right?

• 27:30Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 27:30Speaker 05

  Well, I'm, I'm a student, so things are pretty fucking heavy right now.

• 27:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 05

  What are you learning?

• 27:36Laci Mosley?

  What are you learning? And who are you learning it with? Because I'm concerned for their safety.

• 27:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, look at her face. I'm a child mortician student.

• 27:43Laci Mosley?

  Right, this is giving like, I'm willing to risk it all. Like, I don't know, girl, we gotta get you into the, uh, college psychiatrist so we can work out just your issues. I'm worried, I don't know if this bracelet gonna help you, girl.

• 27:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, also just, uh, people, finding people at the mall who are like, "You seem depressed." It's like, "Yeah, well, I'm at this fucking mall."

• 27:59Laci Mosley?

  Right. That's what I know they can get. They're like, "Oh, he looks sad as fuck, get him over here, get the cameras rolling, get the cameras rolling."

• 28:04Speaker 05

  All you gotta say, put this on, say, "That's crazy," and you'll get a $20 gift card to Auntie Anne's Pretzels.

• 28:09Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, "You know what, I need that gift card." "I need that gift card."

• 28:13Speaker 05

  My kids driving me fucking crazy, I gotta get him a lemonade with 90 grams of sugar in it.

• 28:16Laci Mosley?

  Yes, because that's gonna help calm him down. So, uh, we can play a little bit more of this. I think they're gonna tell us what the bracelet does, maybe.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Art Edmonds will tell us.

• 28:27Laci Mosley?

  So it's got, look, they, they got it in a, what do, what do you call that when they put it in like a greens, behind a green screen? And then they like highlighted and-

• 28:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's kind of weird, like, it's like a product shot, but it's very much, this is really embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by their font, like, everything. And just the idea of calling a bracelet revolutionary is crazy. There's no new technology here.

• 28:46Laci Mosley?

  Oh, you don't know that yet, okay? It's got "I" on it.

• 28:48Speaker 05

  What are they gonna tell us that is made of?

• 28:50Laci Mosley?

  It's, look, it's gonna tell right now, it's gonna tell us-

• 28:52Speaker 07

  Without I Renew, these people couldn't even stay on their feet. After slipping I Renew on, they were amazed at how their balance was instantly restored.

• 29:00Laci Mosley?

  Look at that.

• 29:00Speaker 07

  And these aren't actors, just regular people.

• 29:02Laci Mosley?

  These are people I found in the mall who let me try to push them over.

• 29:07Speaker 07

  Celebrities wear it, and you've heard the buzz about it on Talk TV and the internet. And you'll experience the difference immediately.

• 29:14Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Takes me for a ride. Well, the balance alone is amazing.

• 29:20Speaker 07

  That is something else.

• 29:22Laci Mosley?

  That is something else.

• 29:23Speaker 07

  Highly recommended.

• 29:24Laci Mosley?

  Highly recommended. Says guy with Ed Hardy.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, the guy with the. Yeah, what the? It uses natural frequencies.

• 29:33Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 29:33Speaker 05

  What? You need to give me one more piece of information there.

• 29:37Laci Mosley?

  No, no, no, no, no. I think natural frequencies is enough because we said they frequencies, but they also natural.

• 29:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I'm just supposed to go in like, and that helps me balance how? Like, I love they don't do the work to leap to the next thing. You're just supposed to go like, oh, well, once my frequencies are naturalized, then my balance will, of course, improve.

• 29:53Laci Mosley?

  Because you know how balance is directly tied to natural frequencies because that's why I'm always saying when I trip, I'm like, damn it, my natural frequencies.

• 30:00Speaker 05

  So are like, listening to like FM radio, is that like unnatural frequency?

• 30:04Laci Mosley?

  I have great balance when I listen to the radio.

• 30:07Speaker 05

  Throw on Hot 97, I'm on one foot, no problem. No one, and for the listeners, he's practicing, he's pulling these people down by their wrists in the weirdest way possible.

• 30:15Laci Mosley?

  It's very bizarre. This went from like, oh, will you try on this bracelet? People are like, oh, that's crazy. So he's like, now let's stand over here so I could push you.

• 30:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I was doing like Steven Seagal level martial arts to them and shit.

• 30:25Laci Mosley?

  He has their hands behind their back and he's like pulling them down and they look very uncomfortable.

• 30:30Speaker 05

  Like you're this woman's husband just standing off camera where like, is this almost done? This guy's got your wife's hands behind her back.

• 30:35Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 30:36Speaker 05

  Now look at your balance with your natural frequencies.

• 30:38Laci Mosley?

  Yes, sir.

• 30:39Speaker 05

  Get the fuck hands off her.

• 30:39Laci Mosley?

  I think you just want to touch people, sir. So power balance product included their flagship wristband for $29.95, a 10-pack of stick-on embedded holograms for $59.95, a pendant for $39.95, and an eight-pack of pocket hologram cards for $59.95. So.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 31:00Laci Mosley?

  The bracelet itself is like $30, but if you want to keep getting those hologram, because a hologram run out of frequency after a while, you got to change the hologram battery so that you still get a frequency. So you got to pay $60 to get 10 new reusable stick-on frequency holograms.

• 31:17Speaker 05

  Imagine you're like hooking up with someone and they like pop open their shirt and they have like 12 hologram stickers on their chest. You're like, oh, fuck.

• 31:24Laci Mosley?

  It's about to be the best balanced sex of your life.

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Whoa, they're on one. One foot while they're going down on me. That's crazy.

• 31:29Laci Mosley?

  That's crazy. See?

• 31:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, just one black guy going, "That's crazy."

• 31:33Laci Mosley?

  That's wow, that's crazy. You're like, "Why is he here?" Oh, he just follows me around.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  I mean, I know why he's here, as requested.

• 31:40Laci Mosley?

  He follows me around, says, "Wow, that's crazy." It does, it does great for your self-esteem. And so the company sold 8,000 merchandise in its first year, which went up to more than $35 million in sales in 2010. Because remember, all the merchandise is pretty expensive. So if you're selling 8,000 units and everything is like $60.

• 32:01Speaker 05

  Jesus Christ.

• 32:03Laci Mosley?

  So these bracelets were sold in 30 countries on six continents. And the company even made a deal for the naming rights to the Sacramento Kings Arena, which was briefly called the Power Balance Pavilion from 2011 to 2012.

• 32:18Speaker 05

  It all, it didn't even last that long, and it's hockey? Oh, that's brutal.

• 32:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 05

  Wait, that's crazy. Oh, I remember, because in the 2010, in the early 2010s, I was, I was a bit of an adult, and I remember, nobody was falling down. Everyone's balance was like-

• 32:32Laci Mosley?

  Nobody was falling?

• 32:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, no one was tripping. Everyone was-

• 32:35Laci Mosley?

  What, nobody tripping?

• 32:36Speaker 05

  Ain't, ain't nobody tripping. You're telling me nobody was tripping? Everyone was fully balanced out. It must have been the bracelet.

• 32:43Laci Mosley?

  It must have been. It must have been.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  It must have been the revolutionary bracelet.

• 32:47Laci Mosley?

  Yes, because now, you know, in 2025, everybody fucking tripping.

• 32:51Speaker 05

  I fell for all this shit. I didn't like fully believe it, but I thought-

• 32:53Laci Mosley?

  Did you have one?

• 32:54Speaker 05

  I didn't have one. I didn't believe in this shit, but I, I was never like, no way that's real, you know what I mean? I was always like, who knows? Whatever works for people, works for people. But watching these ads now with a little more understanding of scams and stuff, when they go like, "It's revolutionary, but don't explain how." Like, that's like such a bullshit move.

• 33:13Laci Mosley?

  Look, we said what we said. It's a revolution on your wrist.

• 33:16Speaker 05

  Get on or get off, bitch.

• 33:17Laci Mosley?

  Okay, it's wrist-olutionary. Now, put it on and give us $30.

• 33:21Speaker 05

  It's I-revolution, lowercase i.

• 33:23Laci Mosley?

  Lowercase i.

• 33:23Speaker 05

  Familiar? Steve Jobs?

• 33:25Laci Mosley?

  Yes, come on. Turtle neck, please. Okay, get with it. So they sold them in 30 countries, six continents, and the company, you know, had the naming rights briefly. Power Balance Pavilion does not sound good to me.

• 33:37Speaker 05

  Power Balance Pavilion sounds like-

• 33:38Laci Mosley?

  It's like the crypto arena. I'm like, why are we doing this? I hate this so much.

• 33:41Speaker 05

  Power Balance Pavilion sounds like Thursday nights at Akbar or something like that. It's like a weird gay night.

• 33:46Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, like a power bottom night.

• 33:49Laci Mosley?

  That's exactly what it is. And look, they were all balanced in there, okay?

• 33:52Speaker 05

  You gotta stay balanced.

• 33:52Laci Mosley?

  They gotta stay balanced.

• 33:53Speaker 05

  Check out this hologram.

• 33:54Laci Mosley?

  So, the claim. A hologram is a three-dimensional image of a two-dimensional surface that can be viewed without special lenses or 3D glasses. You can see changes in colors and shapes when you move them back and forth. But they usually just looks like sparkly pictures and, you know, smears of color. And they're not rare. There are holograms on most driver's license, ID cards, and credit cards. So, we all, I guess that's how we stay balanced. We just keep our credit cards in our pocket, okay? They said swipe that card for even more balance.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  You wanna talk about imbalance? I got one hanging over my head from Amex.

• 34:28Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no. Yes, you gotta get that balance, okay?

• 34:31Speaker 05

  Figure that balance out ASAP.

• 34:32Laci Mosley?

  So, why did power balance put on wristbands? Why were they putting these holograms on the wristband? Here's how they explained it, or rather, didn't explain it on their website back then. So, Gabrus and I are going to read the website. We're gonna do a staged reading of the iHologram website.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 34:49Laci Mosley?

  Okay. It's hard to, I feel like I gotta put like my fingertips together. Like, you know, when people like touch their fingertips? Because that's how you know people are telling you the truth. And also innovation. Like, there's nothing more innovative than tippy-tot.

• 35:02Speaker 05

  I lean back with those?

• 35:03Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, we're innovating, yes.

• 35:07Laci Mosley?

  It's hard to argue with nature. And the fact is that everything in nature resonates at a particular frequency. That is what keeps it all together.

• 35:17Speaker 05

  We react with frequency because we are a frequency.

• 35:21Laci Mosley?

  Bar. Most simply, we are a bunch of cells held together by, you guessed it, frequency. If you hold processed sugar or a cellphone in your hand, and you hold your arm straight out to your side and have someone push your arm down while you resist, it goes down pretty easily because processed sugar and cellular telephones do not react positively with the human body.

• 35:47Speaker 05

  Basically, the frequencies in sugar and cellphones create a reaction that makes your body weaker.

• 35:53Laci Mosley?

  Adversely, if you put certain vitamins or minerals in your hand and do the same test with your arm, you will find it is much harder for that person to push your arm down.

• 36:05Speaker 05

  By the way, all this arm push down stuff isn't real balance, but.

• 36:08Laci Mosley?

  No, that's how I keep my balance, constantly having people push my arm down.

• 36:13Speaker 05

  Your body's energy field like things that are good for it and craves to be around those things. At Power Balance, we have taken a few of those items and through advances in technology.

• 36:23Laci Mosley?

  Technology.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Have been able to duplicate those positive energies and imprint them onto our holographic media. Oh my God, they're losing the fucking plot in the middle of their explanation.

• 36:33Laci Mosley?

  Why holograms? We use holograms because they are composed of Mylar, a polyester film used for imprinting music, movies, pictures, and other data. Thus, it was a natural fit.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  So processed sugar, not okay, but processed polyester, totally.

• 36:52Laci Mosley?

  Mylar. Like, everybody knows about Mylar.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  It's a balloon.

• 36:55Laci Mosley?

  And that's naturally what you need.

• 36:58Speaker 05

  In fact, the hologram is so complex with such infinite depth and minimal surface area that many companies are now using them as hard drives. Okay, that doesn't help sell the balance part of it.

• 37:10Laci Mosley?

  Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, sweetheart. Along those same lines, we felt it would be a lot easier to get someone to put a hologram in their shoe rather than a Power Balance-equipped rock or apple.

• 37:23Speaker 05

  Oh my God, this is one of those things where if you read the website, you are not more informed. You're only more confused.

• 37:28Laci Mosley?

  That's what they wanted. They said, let's confuse the girl. Because what is this? Okay, we went from sugar to polyester.

• 37:35Speaker 05

  They're like, that's why when you have sugar in your arm and a stranger goes to push it down, it goes down so easy. But if you're holding vitamins or minerals, it'll be way harder. That's why we put a hologram, which could also be used as a hard drive. I'm sorry, wait, what are you talking about?

• 37:48Laci Mosley?

  No, stay with me, stay with me, stay with me. Okay, because what, do you want us to put an apple in your shoe? We thought so. Like, what?

• 37:54Speaker 05

  They just talk fast enough that you go, all right, fine, here's my $30.

• 37:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, all right, fine, we get it, yeah. Power Balance-equipped rock? They're like, you want us to hit you with Power Balance-equipped rocks? I didn't think so. Here's a bracelet.

• 38:04Speaker 05

  I got a bunch of holograms in a sock I could hit you over the head with it for you.

• 38:08Laci Mosley?

  Or do you want a bracelet? These are your options. I hit you with a sock, I push you down with your sugar hand, or you buy this bracelet.

• 38:15Speaker 05

  I'm sorry to say, but your son has sugar hands. You're gonna wanna keep them away from ants.

• 38:21Laci Mosley?

  Oh my goodness, cuz you know, that's what people do. I always just grab a bunch of sugar and put it in my hand and then stick it out and be like, push me.

• 38:27Speaker 05

  And then you go like, hold on, now do it again. I'm holding a multivitamin. See if this vitamin gummy, oh, I'm so powerful.

• 38:33Laci Mosley?

  Right, things that are definitely meant to be ingested.

• 38:35Speaker 05

  I know, doesn't like, I don't, you can't feel like putting sugar on your skin doesn't go like, oh, the process of it all is killing me.

• 38:42Laci Mosley?

  Like, what are we saying? Also, I just love that they typed up a bunch of nothing. Like, this is definitely giving me like ChatGPT.

• 38:48Speaker 05

  I was about to tell you, this predates ChatGPT, but it reeks of that, of like, just give me 12 dumb reasons to sell this shit to fucking mouth breathers.

• 38:55Laci Mosley?

  And they're like, if we put lots of words, people will think we have lots of answers.

• 38:59Speaker 05

  Just even this one line here, why holograms? Because they're composed of Mylar, a polyester film used for music, movies, pictures, and other data. Thus, it was a natural fit. As a matter of fact, what you described right before this is some of the most unnatural stuff. Polyester and Mylar are like, human designed.

• 39:16Laci Mosley?

  And you said, yeah, we use it for computers and other unnatural things.

• 39:20Speaker 05

  That's why it's natural.

• 39:21Laci Mosley?

  It's supernatural. Y'all know, we use holograms in nuclear power plants all the time, so that, so naturally, your body. So, most of that is so vague and hard to read, actually, which is how Power Balance got away with selling this technology for so long. They carefully avoided making specific claims, letting athletes and celebrity testimonials do all the talking for them. Some wearers claimed the bracelet relieved headaches and menstrual pain. They made it seem like if you felt unwell in any way, the hologram would restore you back to normal. So, ladies out there, you feel like your coochie's getting ripped apart every month? That's cuz you don't got this bracelet on.

• 39:59Speaker 05

  Wait, what do I do with this bracelet? Oh, just put it on my wrist? Thank God. I thought it was like a Ova ring or whatever.

• 40:04Laci Mosley?

  Ova ring.

• 40:06Speaker 05

  Ova rings for sleeping.

• 40:07Laci Mosley?

  I've been trying it. They said, don't do it on the packaging, but I have been trying it on my cycle.

• 40:12Speaker 05

  Why Mylar? Cuz it fits perfectly in your vaginal canal. Uh, thank you, Power Balance.

• 40:17Laci Mosley?

  Thank you. So, here's one fact that's good to have on hand when you encounter this kind of marketing. Look, nothing has a frequency until you hit it and it vibrates. Things like human beings still don't vibrate even after you hit them. So they will never have a frequency. Objects and people aren't just walking around with frequencies.

• 40:38Speaker 05

  Okay, yes. My therapist is a little bit of a hippie dippy guy and he'll say, your vibrations are at a, you know, yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 40:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, because things can be like low vibrational, high vibrational. Black people love a low vibrational moment, a low vibrational plates. I do believe in vibrations, but apparently they're not frequencies. And all of this is again about a bracelet. So that makes sense, right?

• 41:02Speaker 05

  Just a reminder, it's about a $30 fucking kid's hologram on a bracelet.

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• 43:08Laci Mosley?

  So the founder of Power Balance was, okay, so these are the founders of this company. The founders are brothers, Troy and Josh Rotamo. Yeah, this is them. Not that flexible with all their rubber bracelets like it's jewelry.

• 43:24Speaker 05

  Okay, they like, I don't like to profile people by the way they look, but they look like scammers.

• 43:29Laci Mosley?

  They really do.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  They look like two guys in a movie who are like sent to kill Liam Neeson or some shit.

• 43:34Laci Mosley?

  You think they could kill Liam Neeson? They would get neck chopped so fast.

• 43:37Speaker 05

  But they got like goon energy, not, and not like the new kind of definition of gooning.

• 43:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, not gooning, not gooner.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  I mean, you know what? They might actually have that.

• 43:45Laci Mosley?

  They might be gooners, they might be gooners for sure.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  With power bracelet you could tug off all day and never bust.

• 43:50Laci Mosley?

  You're gonna have so much frequency when you're jacking it, the highest frequency. Yeah, I could actually see them saying that, but it's just the way they're holding them like they really got that money.

• 43:59Speaker 05

  Like it's blinged out, yeah.

• 44:00Laci Mosley?

  Yeah. Sorry, these are rubber bracelets and the photos in black and white, but all the bracelets are in cover. They thought they really did something with that. They're like, what about if we're in black and white and all the bracelets are in color?

• 44:10Speaker 05

  Look how tacky they are. Look how ugly they are. The smaller ones that are like watch adjacent, like that's a little less conspicuous, but the other ones say Power Balance in huge capital letters.

• 44:21Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I don't want to advertise your ugly bracelet.

• 44:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just have a weird bracelet on that says erectile dysfunction. And people are like, what's that? I'm like, uh, it's supposed to help. I'm, I'm in my mid 40s.

• 44:32Laci Mosley?

  No, just run away, just scurry away.

• 44:35Speaker 05

  Fall down because I'm at the wrong bracelet on.

• 44:37Laci Mosley?

  Oh, yeah. No, see, that's, but you would stand a little because your penis.

• 44:41Speaker 05

  I fall down, I'm hard, but I fell.

• 44:42Laci Mosley?

  But, but yeah, you're hard, but you fell.

• 44:44Speaker 05

  But, but the guy at the mall kiosk can pull me down by my wrist, unfortunately.

• 44:48Laci Mosley?

  Oh, and I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, these are, it feels like something you get when you go to a music. Uh, music concert.

• 44:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, like a festival or some shit.

• 44:56Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, some kind of all access bracelet that they give you so you can get behind the curtain.

• 45:00Speaker 05

  Right, right.

• 45:01Laci Mosley?

  It's not given, I want to wear this every day with my outfits.

• 45:04Speaker 05

  I bet you this shit costs like a thousand tickets at fucking Dave and Buster's.

• 45:07Laci Mosley?

  Literally. You're never gonna get, it's right next to the scooter, to the scooty bike that no one ever gets. And they, so these, uh, power bros, these power balance bros are both former college athletes who grew up in California with parents who believed in non-traditional healing practices like acupuncture. Now acupuncture is more like eastern medicine and has proven results in like fertility or even relaxation. You know what I mean? Like, there's something to that. I don't know how they went from like Chinese holistic medicine to rubber frequency bracelet. They're like, this is the American version of acupuncture. It's expensive rubber that you go put on.

• 45:44Speaker 05

  You like acupuncture but afraid of needles? Well, perfect. Holograms, used in computers and hard drives for your wrist. No apple in your shoe, though.

• 45:50Laci Mosley?

  No apple in your shoe. No, you know what to do. So their father works for a firm that sold pricey minerals and gems used in eastern medicine. As the brothers explained it, in 2006, they found a way to burn these gem frequencies through a computer program onto Mylar holograms that could be placed on a lightweight wristband. Once they created a workable prototype, Troy and Josh started handing out bracelets to athletes. They started with Josh's former high school teammate, Mark Sanchez, a college football quarterback who would go on to play in the NFL for 10 years. Josh is Yale football teammates and Troy's SoCal surf buddies. The initial feedback was amazing, Josh said. The benefits were different for everyone, but they always had to do with an increase in performance.

• 46:34Speaker 05

  Uh, the benefits different for everybody means it's untrackable and it's just whatever the people are saying.

• 46:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's vibes.

• 46:40Speaker 05

  It's a, yeah, it's, also, I love that they're like, their dad ran a company where he found gems that were used for healing. I'm like, so the dad's the OG scammer. Yeah, he taught well. It's in your, you're genetically predisposed to be a scammer at that point.

• 46:53Laci Mosley?

  They said eastern medicine, but make it bro.

• 46:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, finally.

• 46:56Laci Mosley?

  Make it tech bro.

• 46:57Speaker 05

  I also like, they're, they're both big athletes. One of the brothers played at Yale with, uh, San, at San Diego. Oh, that's pretty good. And they always like, and he's a surfer in SoCal.

• 47:06Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 47:07Speaker 05

  That sounds like a guy with a rich dad.

• 47:08Laci Mosley?

  Right. That don't sound like an athlete to me. Was he surfing for competition? Was he surfing for money?

• 47:13Speaker 05

  Playing college football is one thing. Saying me and my surf buddies is a little different than NCAA football.

• 47:19Laci Mosley?

  But it's okay. We're gonna let them both be athletes. They were giving it to all their athletic friends. We're all athletes here and we're all balanced, okay? So the best marketing tool for power balance was the test.

• 47:30Speaker 07

  The thing that did convince people to buy power balance was this. The power balance test put people through a series of balance tests. Then immediately redid the same test with the power balance bracelet.

• 47:41Speaker 05

  But you're also prepared for the test.

• 47:43Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 07

  Fail, the person would perform significantly better with the power balance on. It could be done anywhere. So anytime someone

• 47:51Laci Mosley?

  On the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

• 47:53Speaker 07

  Skepticism for wearing it, they could just immediately put the doubter through the test, who almost always had better results with the power balance on. This became one of the most effective marketing tools imaginable. All of a sudden, in bars, in schools, and parties across the country, this fun party trick was converting countless numbers of people into believers in power balance.

• 48:19Laci Mosley?

  Wow. So one,

• 48:20Speaker 05

  Wow, I was really caught up in that video. I didn't realize. I didn't speak that whole time.

• 48:24Laci Mosley?

  I didn't either. I was like, oh, they're on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Oh, they at the club. She at the club doing the balance test. Okay.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  It's gotta just be because you just did the test. You're like mentally prepared, physically prepared for it.

• 48:35Laci Mosley?

  Yes. If I'm like, hey, John, get up right now. I'm gonna test your balance and you don't have the bracelet. Yeah, you're not gonna do as well as the second time around when I put this placebo effect on and they start pushing you again.

• 48:45Speaker 05

  Same exact thing to me. Now I'm mentally prepared.

• 48:47Laci Mosley?

  We're ready for what it is.

• 48:49Speaker 05

  That's so funny.

• 48:50Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my goodness. But also a great party trick. That is good advertising, especially in these days. Like, all you need is something to be a challenge and the girlies will go buy the $30 bracelet and get on TikTok and put it to some music and do it.

• 49:02Speaker 05

  This, I mean, talk about party tricks. The shit I was doing when I was in high school, pre-phones and pre-internet, was we were just like making each other pass out and stuff. So this might even, this is probably healthier for you than

• 49:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I would imagine this is healthier.

• 49:13Speaker 05

  Hey, I'll, you hyperventilate and I'll choke you, stranger. I trust you, we're both 14, we should be okay.

• 49:21Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, this is tight. That's my party trick, guys. It's like, I take all the oxygen away from your body. Isn't that cool?

• 49:27Speaker 05

  That was such a big thing. And then, of course, like, Law and Order or someone did something about it and then everyone's mom was like, "You guys aren't playing the pass out game, are you?" And you're like, "Not anymore."

• 49:37Laci Mosley?

  As soon as a TV show gets a hold of it, it's over. I remember, I don't even know if these parties really happen, but I was watching Oprah with my mom and they had these rainbow parties they would call them, where each girl would wear a different lipstick and then they'd go down on the boys. And my mom was like, "Are you going to these rainbow parties?" Like, every time I tried to leave that fucking house, she was like, "I bet I be going to one of them rainbow parties."

• 49:57Speaker 05

  The frequency in which I would hear about rainbow parties and just imagine the idea of getting a blowjob from a girl, no less, multiple girls in one night. I'm like, I couldn't even fucking handle that as a grown up. That sounds insane. That sounds great. And like, women are like, "I hope I get to put my purple lipstick on 12 guys' peckers tonight." Like, that, who's winning in this, I mean, besides men, as usual? That's fucking, I remember a friend's dad one time saying, "You know what these kids are doing now in school? They're putting whiteout on their erasers and then they're sniffing their eraser when the teacher's not looking to get high." I'm like, "Trust me when I tell you, whiteout is impossible to get high off of."

• 50:33Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we've been trying. Yeah, we worked it. We worked it, no.

• 50:37Speaker 05

  We got galaxy gas now, pop.

• 50:41Laci Mosley?

  Now, listen, a permanent marker, you help a couple of those.

• 50:45Speaker 05

  Oh, you're telling me.

• 50:46Laci Mosley?

  Allegedly.

• 50:47Speaker 05

  I used to, here, the statute of limitations is over. We used to spray Glade air freshener into like a fucking towel and breathe it in and get like, strawberries and cream Glade and just get super fucking like whipping it out, but also your face would like re-collect a grandma's bathroom.

• 51:06Laci Mosley?

  John, why are you coming home every day smelling like potpourri?

• 51:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, you better not be smoking and then spraying that on your face, you know, I'm like, actually, it's way worse.

• 51:13Laci Mosley?

  It's way worse.

• 51:13Speaker 05

  You'd rather I'm smoking cigarettes?

• 51:15Laci Mosley?

  Hailing the potpourri.

• 51:15Speaker 05

  I'm doing whippets at 14.

• 51:17Laci Mosley?

  Oh my gosh. But yeah, this is a healthier party trick. So I could see this like really taking off in the clubs and in and at the parties, at the house parties and things like that. So they got a good gimmick here. So time and time again, it seems to prove the power of the bracelet. But what it's really proving is that once you know how hard someone is going to push you down one time, you do a better job bracing yourself the second time, which is exactly what we said. But they have followers, okay? So if you survived 2010 without wearing one of these, you deserve an award. And I will say that I am not one of those people who can get an award because I definitely had some Live Strong bracelets.

• 51:52Speaker 05

  Oh, I rocked a Live Strong bracelet. But that felt more like a, I wasn't wearing it to like get better at something. I was wearing it to like support.

• 51:58Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, to support like the cancer.

• 52:00Speaker 05

  Against cancer, I guess not support cancer.

• 52:01Laci Mosley?

  You were supporting cancer, wow.

• 52:03Speaker 05

  I wore a different one that said like fuck Lance Armstrong, that cheating, one bald freak or whatever.

• 52:08Laci Mosley?

  He did cheat. He did cheat real bad. You know what? He kept the sport interesting though. Were we watching bitches ride bikes? No. Okay? So they needed a cheater to really get things going, get it popping. You know what I'm saying? We have a picture right now of Kobe Bryant and he has on one of the power bracelets.

• 52:22Speaker 05

  Oh, fuck. And this is the last known photo.

• 52:24Laci Mosley?

  Oh, not the last known photo.

• 52:26Speaker 05

  He needed a little more balance.

• 52:28Laci Mosley?

  Oh, John. Oh my word.

• 52:32Speaker 05

  Not cool, not cool. Should have given it to the chopper pilot. Okay, last one.

• 52:38Speaker 05

  Wait, I have an idea.

• 52:39Laci Mosley?

  We're going to hell.

• 52:40Speaker 05

  I have an idea to make you money and I don't even necessarily need a slice, but a slice would be tight. You gotta make scam goddess fucking power balance bracelets.

• 52:48Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, when you're about to get into a scam, the hologram starts flashing red. Yes, the hologram gonna let you know that you finna get scammed, okay? And it always, it always starts the hologram right when you reach for your wallet. So you gotta be looking at it while, while you reaching. It's gonna be like, like, yes, yes.

• 53:04Speaker 05

  You are being scammed.

• 53:05Laci Mosley?

  You are being scammed. And you know what? I'm gonna just take the description that they have on their website and put it on my website. Cause I feel like that really lets everybody know what we're doing.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  Thus, it was a natural fit.

• 53:14Laci Mosley?

  It was a natural fit. Okay, crime, a bracelet, balance.

• 53:19Laci Mosley?

  You get it. So there were followers of this, right? We got Kobe Bryant, we got Bill Clinton. Remember, he gotta keep that balance, honey, so he don't-

• 53:27Speaker 05

  I did not inhale that bracelet.

• 53:29Laci Mosley?

  He didn't. And, um, Robert Zanero was also balancing, you know? He, he got a career. Also, he got a balance with his new young wife. You know, he gotta stay balanced so he can be around for his children.

• 53:40Speaker 05

  Now that we kinda know, oh, Gerard Butler, my favorite.

• 53:42Laci Mosley?

  Gerard Butler, he also wanted to be balanced.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  I, it's crazy when you see this because-

• 53:48Laci Mosley?

  Kate Middleton.

• 53:49Speaker 05

  Fuck, dude. You, we know enough about this, though, too, that someone back then would've been like, hey, for $85,000, wear this bracelet to this interview and we'll, and we'll get a Getty photo of you wearing it. And that's exactly what's happening, yeah.

• 54:00Laci Mosley?

  She definitely got a coin for that bracelet. And you know what? She was trying to keep that balance. That was when she was trying to make sure that she was gonna become the queen.

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Oh, Middleton, keep hustling.

• 54:09Laci Mosley?

  She had to keep hustling, stay balanced. Lindsay Lohan. Now, Lindsay probably really needed that.

• 54:13Speaker 05

  Long Island Pride, yeah, right here. That's my girl.

• 54:16Laci Mosley?

  These are her out of balance years. So you know what? I'm glad that she had that on and that she was working.

• 54:20Speaker 05

  God knows what would've been like for her without.

• 54:21Laci Mosley?

  Exactly. Okay, could've been worse, y'all. David Beckham.

• 54:25Speaker 05

  Okay, heard of him.

• 54:26Laci Mosley?

  He also had the bracelet. Look at him with Posh and his, and his bracelet. Now, I don't think Posh would ever put one of them ugly things on because she's about fashion. She got taste. She's like, this is, oh, this is hideous. She's probably like, right, right after this photo taken, she was like, can you please get that off of me, like, your arm with that, that atrocity on it? I love you. Now get back in the closet. Now, their biggest paid athlete endorsement came from the general himself, Shaq. Here's his testimony. So we're gonna watch Shaq's testimony. But I do wanna say, like, I told you, I, I worked on a show with Shaq. He's very funny. He drives a Hellcat that he's taking the backseats out of, so it looks like he's getting out of a clown car when he gets out. Um, and he is one of the original, like, celeb influencers. Like, Shaq would literally sell anything.

• 55:08Speaker 05

  Shaq has been, uh, Shaq has been around. I worked with Shaq once. Guess what? It was a Radio Shaq commercial.

• 55:15Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 55:15Speaker 05

  And this dude will sell anything. It's, I like, and if it feels too corny, it's not for Shaq.

• 55:21Laci Mosley?

  It's not for Shaq.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  And he's got the superpower that he's above it all somehow. It doesn't land on him in any way.

• 55:26Laci Mosley?

  It doesn't make him seem like a loser.

• 55:28Speaker 05

  Ryan Reynolds seems like a loser to me. Like, he's, like, I like the guy, but he's doing too much. The Rock seems like he's doing too much. Shaq is like, in a commercial with an animated general going like, oh, we gotta sell. You know, and you're like, you got it, Shaq.

• 55:41Laci Mosley?

  Great. We love it, Shaq. I feel like Shaq, Shaq could be like, and now, uh, ten packs-

• 55:45Speaker 05

  Has ultra low leaked tear bars. And this is coming from me Shaq. Ladies, put this inside you. And I would, I would, I would get in board.

• 55:54Laci Mosley?

  Like he could sell me wipes, feminine products. He'd be like, are you a lady in your 50s who's experienced vaginal dryness? It's me, Shaquille O'Neal. If you wanna dunk that Gucci wet, get new vaginal dryness wipes from me, Shaquille O'Neal. Like, I'd be like, yeah.

• 56:10Speaker 05

  It's time to get that pussy a rebound.

• 56:15Laci Mosley?

  Oh my goodness, like anything, he can sell anything. So we have a video of him talking about power balance. He's gonna let us know.

• 56:21Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 56:22Laci Mosley?

  Shaquille O'Neal.

• 56:27Laci Mosley?

  Mmm, good music, good music.

• 56:29Speaker 07

  A lot of testimonials, but this works.

• 56:31Speaker 05

  I don't do a lot of testimonials.

• 56:33Laci Mosley?

  A lot of testimonials, but this works.

• 56:34Speaker 07

  And I'm one of the power balance generals. Tell you how I came across the power balance.

• 56:39Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, tell us Shaq.

• 56:40Speaker 07

  Brought the bracelet, did a little test.

• 56:42Laci Mosley?

  Somebody did a little test?

• 56:43Speaker 07

  I did a test without the bracelet. I put the bracelet on and I passed the test. So you know me, I'm one of those guys that say, okay, this is.

• 56:50Laci Mosley?

  This bracelet looks too tight for his wrist.

• 56:52Speaker 05

  No, it's too small on him too.

• 56:53Speaker 07

  At the time, three of our guys wore it. And I think we won that game by 57 points. And I felt something, so I said, okay.

• 57:02Laci Mosley?

  He felt something.

• 57:03Speaker 07

  And I kept feeling something. But then I said, okay, let me take it off. But then when I took it off, I went back to normal. So then I had the whole team and I said, okay, I want everybody.

• 57:18Speaker 07

  Come on now. Now I really got into the scientific part. That's basically, it helps with your endurance, your balance.

• 57:25Laci Mosley?

  This is the scientific part. How does, how does it do that Shaq?

• 57:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, no explanation of the science behind the just rattling off four buzzwords.

• 57:33Speaker 07

  Make everybody, you know, has something new. But, you know, you tell them about the power bracelet. This is the first look they gave me. It does what? The little bracelet does what? And as soon as we do the test, they're like. We won this.

• 57:48Laci Mosley?

  Shaq is just doing his own memes.

• 57:49Speaker 05

  Oh, he's so fucking funny.

• 57:50Laci Mosley?

  He really is. Um, this is the least enthusiastic testimonial I've ever seen.

• 57:56Speaker 05

  I would love to have Shaq to ask him about, show this to Shaq live.

• 58:00Laci Mosley?

  Literally.

• 58:01Speaker 05

  And have him react to it and see what he says because he would even have to admit like, yeah, whatever, man. A bag's a bag.

• 58:06Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 58:07Speaker 05

  You know, like, but that is so funny. Put it on the whole team. We won by 57 points.

• 58:11Laci Mosley?

  So then I was like, I feel something. I put the bracelet on and then, and I wore it again and I felt something. And then when I took it off.

• 58:18Speaker 05

  I felt nothing.

• 58:21Laci Mosley?

  Like, that was literally what he was saying. He was like, no, yeah, it helps. And then I got into the scientific stuff of like, it helps you do stuff goodly.

• 58:29Speaker 05

  I'll tell you what, he's so fucking charming that I, we've only talked about how dumb this product is and I'm watching this going like, I should try Power Balance.

• 58:38Laci Mosley?

  Right. Like, now I just need to know, like, because Shaquille O'Neal said it does something.

• 58:43Speaker 05

  You can sell, uh, ketchup popsicles to a lady in white gloves.

• 58:46Laci Mosley?

  And, and I would be there. I would be there for it because it does something, very much something. Yes.

• 58:51Speaker 05

  I had it on and I felt something. I took it off and I felt nothing. Okay, man.

• 58:55Laci Mosley?

  Okay, okay, okay. C and B Sports named Power Balance Product of the Year in 2010 for its strong sales and celebrity endorsements. So there are some skeptics. Eventually, actual scientists ran actual tests comparing the performance of the 42 athletes wearing Power Balance wristbands and the silicone versions from Walmart and found no difference. Athletes were more likely to perform better wearing the second bracelet they put on, largely because they knew what to expect from the trial. So when they gave them the placebo bracelet, the placebo bracelet, they were like, this ain't work. I feel nothing. I feel nothing. Then they put the Power Balance on and they were like, woo, that's how I beat Shaq. And then they just started like, yeah.

• 59:33Speaker 05

  Shaq letting you dunk on him when you had the power bracelet on and be like, see, I told you.

• 59:37Laci Mosley?

  See, I told you. You feel something?

• 59:38Speaker 05

  You feel something?

• 59:39Speaker 07

  I feel nothing.

• 59:40Laci Mosley?

  So John Prokary, a professional of exercise and sports science at the University of Wisconsin LA, crossed, ran one of the tests and said, I think it's a scam. It has absolutely nothing to do with the bracelets. It's all in people's heads.

• 59:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:54Laci Mosley?

  Duh. When the bracelet. bracelets worked, it was due to the placebo effect, which can be a powerful force, especially in sports. So, the admission of guilt. In 2010, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found that the Power Balance bracelet claims were misleading and breached advertising code in that country. And demanded that Power Balance drop claims from its website that the bands improved flexibility, balance, and strength. So they say, "Y'all lying, and if y'all want to sell this little rubber bracelet, we're gonna need to get you just telling the truth on the Barbie."

• 1:00:23Speaker 05

  Well, that's the shit that always gets me upset, too, is like when another country's like, "Oh, we don't allow..." Like, when you get like a Nestle product or a chocolate product in Europe, and they're like, "Tastes different." You're like, "Why does this taste different?" It's like, "Oh, we don't allow poison in our food."

• 1:00:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we said no to the poison. That's like Fireball. Apparently, there's properties that are in antifreeze in the one that's sold in America. But anywhere else, they take the antifreeze out. They were like, "Yeah, we actually don't like antifreeze in our liquor, so we're... Yeah, we told y'all to take it out." And I'm like, "Why do they keep it? Why can't we all just not have antifreeze?"

• 1:00:53Speaker 05

  I met Carla Hall, the woman from Top Chef, and someone's like, "Oh, we have some candy here." She goes, "Uh, it's from New Jersey. No, thank you." And we were like, "What does that mean? You got a problem with New Jersey?" She's like, "No, candy made in America has bad ingredients in it." I'm like, "What?" And she's like, and not just like, it's like Twix in America is different than Twix in Europe. Like, we allow more garbage in our food.

• 1:01:13Laci Mosley?

  Which makes no fucking sense. I'm like, "Why can't we just eat good like everyone else?" Anytime I go to Europe for a long period of time, I lose weight, and I eat bread over there. I can't eat bread in this country.

• 1:01:21Speaker 05

  No. I... It's so crazy, and things are only gonna get more and more deregulated. Where it'll be like, you know, they used to put like chalk in milk to make it more fortified. It's like, that shit is coming back hard, dude. We gotta put more fucking RFK, putting milk in the chalk in the milk for the kids. Not chocolate milk, but chalk milk.

• 1:01:44Laci Mosley?

  That's exactly how he sounds. I'm sorry, but I-

• 1:01:47Speaker 05

  Power Balance bracelets for everybody and no fluoride in the water.

• 1:01:52Laci Mosley?

  I just don't understand, I'm look, shout out to y'all who've had this happen to you, no shade, but I just don't understand how a man who literally had worms for brains is going to lead us in a global health like position in our government.

• 1:02:05Speaker 05

  You're younger than me, but at one time, a guy went, "Wahoo!" Uh, Howard D.

• 1:02:10Laci Mosley?

  He went "Pia!"

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  He was super excited.

• 1:02:12Laci Mosley?

  Ruined his whole life.

• 1:02:12Speaker 05

  Ruined his whole life. And meanwhile, we got a guy who's like, "Yeah, I ate a bear head in Central Park and cheated on my wife, bruh."

• 1:02:19Laci Mosley?

  And we're like, "This is fine. This is great." We have Pete Heck said that the Pentagon's sending like UUPTX to the Yemen government. And like, we're just like, "This is fine."

• 1:02:29Speaker 05

  I'm switching from gin and tonics to beers, since I'll be the secretary.

• 1:02:33Laci Mosley?

  That's when I knew he was a real alcoholic. When he started being like, "Yeah, no, the thing is, like, you just gotta drink less." So, you know, you drink more beer, you know, if you're gonna, if I do a gin, I add extra tonic and soda, so that, when he started planning out his alcoholism.

• 1:02:46Speaker 05

  When you're making excuses at a job interview, like, when you're like, "Okay, okay, look, I know I'm kind of a bit of a drinker, but I'm gonna switch to beer if you hire me as a school bus driver."

• 1:02:55Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, just for the shakes. I'm not even gonna be drunk, it's just for the shakes. It's like, "Sir, we know what this is." And he, on Easter, he was drunk at the Easter egg hunt on the line, yelling at people. His kids are in the back looking awkward as hell. He's like, "The fake news always wants to say whatever they want, but we're gonna, this is real news right now. Look at these kids. We're here for them. We're here for them." And they were looking in the corner like, "Daddy, no. Not this time. Daddy, please."

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  Dad, you texted me war plans again.

• 1:03:26Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 1:03:27Speaker 05

  Dad, you accidentally airdropped, uh, private blueprints of the White House again.

• 1:03:31Laci Mosley?

  Right. They're like, "Dad, don't you have to get to the war? You texted us that you're dropping bombs on Yemen at 3 o'clock, Eastern."

• 1:03:39Speaker 05

  Fucking people putting like, US flag and fist bump emojis in the drop.

• 1:03:42Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, like, why are y'all doing emojis for murders? I hate that that's how they communicate the murders.

• 1:03:47Speaker 05

  I know. I wouldn't even put an emoji if someone texted me and said, "We're having a baby."

• 1:03:51Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 1:03:52Speaker 05

  It's like, "That feels too rude. We're talking about life here."

• 1:03:54Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, so it's like, "Congratulations for the baby," or like, "Oh, somber days for these murders we're doing in Yemen." Not like, "Fuck yeah, America, bald eagle." Like, what are y'all doing? Be serious.

• 1:04:06Speaker 05

  What if someone will read this? No one will ever read this. Wait, never mind, I CC'd a fucking reporter.

• 1:04:14Laci Mosley?

  Not my fault. You know how many Johns I have on my Signal chat? No, bro. Be serious.

• 1:04:20Speaker 05

  It just saved in your phone. It's like, John journalist, John do not answer, John big dick, John.

• 1:04:25Laci Mosley?

  John bomb emoji. Oh, that's what I meant to put John bomb emoji and I put do not answer. God damn it.

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  Uh, John bomb emoji sings a song. Ah, we're halfway there.

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  Living on a prayer. Hi, I'm John bomb emoji.

• 1:04:43Laci Mosley?

  So in December of 2010, the makers of the wristbands were required to issue a statement apologizing for the misleading consumers or misleading their consumers. Here's their official statement to Australian media. They said, "In our advertising, we stated the Power Balance wristband improved your strength, balance, and flexibility. We admitted that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims and therefore we engaged in misleading conduct in breach of S52 of the Trade Practices Act of 1974. If you feel you have been misled by our promotions, we wish to unreservedly apologize and offer a full refund."

• 1:05:21Speaker 05

  Oh, my God. But they have to say that in Australia. Meanwhile, in America, they're still running commercials.

• 1:05:25Laci Mosley?

  Oh, they're still running commercials. And they've ramped it up in America. They're like, "It does everything. Do you have kidney failure, dialysis? No more. All you need is this bracelet."

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  Aussies are too much of pussies to handle the Power Balance bracelet, but Americans, it'll work on you.

• 1:05:41Laci Mosley?

  Have you recently been an amputee? Power Balance bracelet. Your leg will come back. Like, they're just like now fully saying anything in America, but then over in Australia, they're like, "It's just a bracelet, didn't you know? Wear it if you want."

• 1:05:54Speaker 05

  It's a bit of a bracelet.

• 1:05:55Laci Mosley?

  It's a bit of a bracelet. Wear it if you like.

• 1:06:00Laci Mosley?

  But they, okay, but stay snarky. They doubled down online, like we said, we knew they were going to, sending out tweets playing off the word admit in ones, saying, "Power Balance admits products have been worn during the last World Series, NBA Finals, and Super Bowl championships." So they're kind of trying to rebrand it. They're like, "Yeah, we'll admit it. People wore these when they did the most like amazing athletic feats known to..." Man, and what were they wearing? Our products.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  Right, just putting a bracelet on Shaquille O'Neal, who's already like an insane talented freak at basketball. I'd be like, see Shaq is good at basketball with our bracelet. I'm like, take it off and see how he does.

• 1:06:35Laci Mosley?

  He's not gonna feel something.

• 1:06:37Speaker 05

  Bad.

• 1:06:37Laci Mosley?

  He's not gonna feel something though. We know that much for sure. Right? So they're, they're trying to find a way to keep lying.

• 1:06:43Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:06:44Laci Mosley?

  So in another statement, they said, "From its inception, Power Balance has lived and thrived in the ultimate testing environment, the real world. We continue to see, hear and learn about people's belief in our products, and they have been positively affecting people's lives." So they're like, everybody loves it in the real world. Well, fuck a science.

• 1:07:02Speaker 05

  I was about to say, they're using the term real world to exclude science proof.

• 1:07:06Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Speaker 05

  The realest shit in the world is science. And then it's like, no, not in the scientific world, but the real world. It's like, okay, I'm sorry. What do you think the real world is? Is anecdotal evidence from fucking 19-year-old guys you're giving $100,000 to to respond?

• 1:07:20Laci Mosley?

  We're talking about kitchen table issues. The real world, okay?

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  The Power Balance kitchen table issues.

• 1:07:27Laci Mosley?

  How many of y'all go to a lab every day? Let's be serious. How many of you guys got a white coat and go to a lab? No, the fuck you don't. You weirdos. You go to the real world.

• 1:07:35Speaker 05

  I'll pull you down by your wrist in the mall, you fucking dweeb.

• 1:07:38Laci Mosley?

  That's where life happens.

• 1:07:39Speaker 05

  Real shit is happening in the food court.

• 1:07:41Laci Mosley?

  At the food court, bitch.

• 1:07:42Speaker 05

  Get your free bourbon chicken and your Power Balance bracelet, bitch.

• 1:07:49Laci Mosley?

  We know what's up. So yeah, in 2011, Power Balance was sued for fraud and settled out of court for $57 million and then promptly filed for bankruptcy. As of 2025, the ba- the brand has transferred to a new company, Power Balance Technologies, which still sells Power Balance bands and other items. You can't just put technologies on something and then it's all of a sudden a technology. I don't think that's how technologies work.

• 1:08:13Speaker 05

  It does not work at all.

• 1:08:15Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 05

  Potato chip technologies.

• 1:08:17Laci Mosley?

  My Coca-Cola technology.

• 1:08:20Speaker 05

  We're doing big things in the world of Coca-Cola.

• 1:08:23Laci Mosley?

  Allergy. You just gotta put more buzzwords around it.

• 1:08:28Laci Mosley?

  So the power of placebo effect in sports, just to wrap this up. For thousands of years, athletes have used the placebo effect and/or superstitions to attempt to improve their performances. That's true. Like, even in theater, like, if I'm in a theater, I'm not gonna say, uh, I'll say, "break a leg," right? Like, I won't say, "have a great show," or you don't say the Scottish.

• 1:08:49Speaker 05

  You say the Scottish play.

• 1:08:51Laci Mosley?

  You say the Scottish play. It's like, there are some superstitions, because our mental does affect how we perform. And so if there's something you can do to relax more mentally, yeah, you're more likely to have a better game or performance.

• 1:09:01Speaker 05

  I swear, I swear by, like, everyone's always like, "I love to do, like, a cold plunge," and people are like, "does that work?" I'm like, "honestly, if it is a placebo effect, it makes me feel so good that I'm fine with it." Like, then that, then I'll, I'll live with the placebo effect of putting my fat ass in a cold little tub every, every day, you know?

• 1:09:18Laci Mosley?

  I love a cold plunge.

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  Me too. It wakes my little ass up.

• 1:09:21Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, and then you tingle afterwards, and that feels good.

• 1:09:24Speaker 05

  I also think my skin looks really good.

• 1:09:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, same.

• 1:09:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Laci Mosley?

  Uh, when I was living in Ireland.

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  Right, it feels tight. I was running into the sea in Ireland, like, every week, me and my co-stars would go cold plunge and then get into the sauna.

• 1:09:35Laci Mosley?

  And it was like a real sauna, like a wood one, where you, like, poured the water over the rocks.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  Oh, that's the dream, not that infrared, high-tech bullshit.

• 1:09:41Laci Mosley?

  No, no, it was like, you were in there cooking, cooking.

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  This is my idea of a vacation. I just go to some coastal town in Europe, and I hit in the sauna, jump in the water, and do that all day until I just get on the piss at night.

• 1:09:50Laci Mosley?

  And it honestly works you sleep better, after just freezing your little nips off. Oh, gosh, I love it. So that's my placebo. I'm down for that placebo as well. And in ancient Greece, Olympians sacrificed oxen to satisfy the gods. So Roman gladiators entered the arena with their domain foot-first. So basically, like, my, like, this was what they would do to get hyped up before the arena. They'd kill off some goats. Which I kind of feel like that's a little fucked up, but, you know, whatever works. Michael Jordan wore U and C shorts under his Bulls' uniform every game for 13 years. Every time basketball player Wade Boggs stepped into the batter's box, I'm sorry, baseball player Wade Boggs. stepped into the batter's box.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  He drew the Jewish symbol for good luck, right?

• 1:10:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he carved the Hebrew letters uh for the word chai, which means life into the dirt with his foot. And Boggs isn't Jewish.

• 1:10:43Speaker 05

  Now Wade Boggs, honestly, listeners, I he's a he was on the Yankees for a while. If you want to have a fucking good read, fire up Wade Boggs' Wikipedia and just read. Dude was a legend and insanely superstitious. He only did batting practice at the same time every day. He ran like X amount of sprints every single day. He ate a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken before every game.

• 1:11:07Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 1:11:07Speaker 05

  Cause they thought it was all for good luck. And then he famously drank like eighty seven Miller Lights on a flight across the country from like New York to Los Angeles. And like twenty years later, he was on a sports radio show and they were like Wade Boggs. Is there a truth to the fact that you drank eighty beers? And he's like, I wasn't keeping track.

• 1:11:27Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 1:11:28Speaker 05

  The dude has a great Wikipedia. It's very funny.

• 1:11:31Laci Mosley?

  Had did they have eighty seven beers on the plane? I feel like you gotta bring some of your own at that point.

• 1:11:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, I think like for like if they had won a game or whatever, they probably can throw some stuff on there. Yeah.

• 1:11:41Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on a jet. I was like, this ain't giving like American Airlines got eighty seven beers for your ass.

• 1:11:45Speaker 05

  At Fenway Park, he played for Boston too. At Fenway Park, they call him Boggs Lights.

• 1:11:49Laci Mosley?

  Wow.

• 1:11:50Speaker 05

  Oh, and as a Yankee fan, when they won the World Series, there's this famous image of a Yankee player riding a police horse across Yankee Stadium, wearing a police horse helmet, and that was him.

• 1:11:59Laci Mosley?

  That was.

• 1:11:59Speaker 05

  He hijacked a fucking horse after they won and galloped around the stadium.

• 1:12:03Laci Mosley?

  If there's any time to hijack a horse, it's absolutely after you win the World Series. So what are you people gonna say to you? What are they gonna say to you?

• 1:12:09Speaker 05

  Wade fucking Boggs, baby.

• 1:12:10Laci Mosley?

  Right, okay. I want to be on the back of that horse. I love that he isn't Jewish, but he was just fucking with the vibes. He was like, you know what? It's been working for me.

• 1:12:17Speaker 05

  It is so funny. He's like, I draw chai every morning and it's like, really? He's like, yeah, I just learned, I must have learned it from a Jewish person once and it stuck.

• 1:12:24Laci Mosley?

  And it stuck, okay. Look, he said bars, okay? He knows where bars are and he took them right out the Torah. And then he was like, I'm this is for me.

• 1:12:30Speaker 05

  I try to always listen to a song when I walk to like stop podcasts, stop the audiobook. And I try to listen to a song when I walk up going to a show from. Outside, like the building. Usually from my car to wherever the show is, I always have to put on a song. I have like five that get me pumped and that I enjoy and I rotate through them. That's like the main superstition I have or like, do you have any, I mean, besides the traditional actor ones? Do you have any one where you're like, I'm starting a new job. That means I gotta go to bed at 6:05 PM or you know.

• 1:13:00Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, I mean, I guess I just have the actor one. Anytime I do an audition, I throw away the sides.

• 1:13:06Speaker 05

  Dog, me too.

• 1:13:07Laci Mosley?

  I'm like, that is not my business anymore. Now, it does cost me in paper when I have to reprint them, but I'm never gonna, not gonna throw them away.

• 1:13:13Speaker 05

  That's what we call, like, when you have to reprint them, that's a good problem. That means you're getting a callback or you gotta do it again. I, I throw my shit right in the recycling bin. That's so awesome. Yeah.

• 1:13:22Laci Mosley?

  I'm like, don't belong to me no more. Those are my power balance vibes. It's just throwing, wasting so much paper. Sorry about, sorry to those trees.

• 1:13:29Speaker 05

  Now we're gonna pull on your wrist while your script is in the garbage and look how much stronger you are.

• 1:13:32Laci Mosley?

  Right. Oh, my goodness.

• 1:13:34Speaker 05

  Power and dorrance.

• 1:13:35Laci Mosley?

  And Jason Giambi wore a-

• 1:13:38Speaker 05

  Giambi, yeah.

• 1:13:38Laci Mosley?

  Giambi. See, I'm so glad you're here because we have a guy who's into sports here. Cause I'm like, Giambi.

• 1:13:43Speaker 05

  I'm also the most Italian baseball player ever, Jason Giambi. Giambi.

• 1:13:49Laci Mosley?

  Giambi. So Jason Giambi wore a gold thong to lift himself out of hitting slumps. A gold thong.

• 1:13:57Speaker 05

  I mean, that's, I mean, you know, like, that's what they do in the movie Bull Durham. When Tim Robbins is on a bad streak, they make him wear women's underwear underneath his thing. And it's like, it breaks you, gets you out of your head a little. And like, I get, I get the idea behind it, but I remember when this news came out, this like, for like, New York homophobic fuck, you know, everything's like, this fucking gay lord where, and to me, I was just like, that's awesome. That shit is, tell me that works. I'll wear a golden thong to every audition.

• 1:14:24Laci Mosley?

  It also probably, yeah, to every audition, you're just wearing a golden thong. They don't know.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  They're like, put pants on, sir. This is for a kid's show.

• 1:14:31Laci Mosley?

  Right, right. Oh, you're not supposed to know I'm wearing the golden thong. Right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:14:34Speaker 05

  My bad.

• 1:14:34Laci Mosley?

  I'm supposed to know.

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  My whale tail sticking out the back when I bend over.

• 1:14:38Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my gosh. It's getting like Manny from Degrassi. There was definitely a time in the 2010s where all the girls were like hiking up their thongs. So you could see them outside of their pants, but sexiness.

• 1:14:47Speaker 05

  In the 90s, we had bright colored bras underneath white shirts, which I loved. And then I, I didn't not mind seeing underwear when I got older.

• 1:14:54Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, these weren't, these weren't bad things to see. I mean, we, we were goofy for doing them, but you know.

• 1:14:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Hindsight being 2020, I didn't hate any of it.

• 1:15:02Laci Mosley?

  But I will say that like, having a little superstition doesn't bump me. It's interesting to me that people would be weirded out by him wearing a thong. I feel like that would be more comfortable than a cup. Like, y'all really be avoiding having a strap on y'all booty. Because what is this side thing? Cups don't go up the butt, right?

• 1:15:17Speaker 05

  No, it's like a jockstrap. It hugs under your cheeks.

• 1:15:19Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it's weird. It might as well be easier to just wear a thong.

• 1:15:22Speaker 05

  Wearing a cup sucks. It hurts, yeah. It's in the way, for sure.

• 1:15:26Laci Mosley?

  So, there is evidence to show that the more expensive a placebo is, the more placebo effect it has. So, buying thirty dollars' worth of rubber is probably going to make you feel like you can shoot like Shaq.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  Fair enough.

• 1:15:41Laci Mosley?

  Look at this!

• 1:15:42Speaker 05

  Uh-oh, the titanium series.

• 1:15:43Laci Mosley?

  So, there's a titanium series of power balancing. Now, so this is starting to look like jewelry.

• 1:15:48Speaker 05

  Still only fifty bucks, though. They still know that they're courting, you know, they're not courting the wealthy.

• 1:15:53Laci Mosley?

  They're not. And it says that this is like matte gold. So, you know you can't wear this in the shower, because that bitch is definitely gonna turn green.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  The titanium series is a trifecta of hologram, negative ion, and titanium technologies, and the newest member of the power balance family. Made with pure titanium, each pendant and bracelet has double holograms and a high-density pro-ion dot. Gold is eighteen K plated, and each bracelet has removable links to adjust size. So fucking embarrassing.

• 1:16:21Laci Mosley?

  This is for the people who were like, "Okay, but I need to look cute with my power balance bracelet on."

• 1:16:25Speaker 05

  I want to be iced out in my power balance.

• 1:16:27Laci Mosley?

  Right. Can I add bling to it? I bet you you could.

• 1:16:30Speaker 05

  I bought my power balance bracelet at Jacob the Jewellery. Hook me up.

• 1:16:35Speaker 05

  Uncut gems put a fucking Furby on my...

• 1:16:39Laci Mosley?

  That's exactly what this is. I mean, it looks like they had a good run. Twenty-ten was when they started to really rake in the dough. It's also the year that Australia was like, "Y'all need to quit lying to these people." And they're like, "Okay, we'll lie less. We will continue to lie, but we'll lie less and more efficiently."

• 1:16:52Speaker 05

  They're dumber and fatter, and they're okay with this shit.

• 1:16:55Laci Mosley?

  They're like, "They said a bracelet, so I don't have to work out? Oh, Americans will definitely do that."

• 1:16:59Speaker 05

  I don't understand, like, maybe, maybe I could, you can convince me over the course of like an eight-hour TED Talk that you get better balance from it. But I cannot see how flexibility comes into play.

• 1:17:09Laci Mosley?

  At all, at all!

• 1:17:11Speaker 05

  Oh, my hamstrings are looser since putting on this negative ion bracelet.

• 1:17:14Laci Mosley?

  You just had too many ions in your hammies. That's what it was. Every time I looked at your hammies, I was like, "Damn, he got too much ion in them."

• 1:17:20Speaker 05

  Damn, you got your ion in my hammies, don't you, girl?

• 1:17:23Laci Mosley?

  I have my ion in your hammies. Oh goodness. Well, thank you for balancing out this very imbalanced scam here.

• 1:17:31Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, we have to go soon because we're going to the mall to run this test on some people.

• 1:17:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, we're running this test on strangers.

• 1:17:37Speaker 05

  We're gonna do their balance, then make them listen to a Scam Goddess episode, then check their balance again.

• 1:17:41Laci Mosley?

  Afterwards. And they're gonna be way more balanced after they listen to the episode, and we know that.

• 1:17:45Speaker 05

  And we know, it's proven.

• 1:17:46Laci Mosley?

  So John, I always ask at the end of the show, where would you like to be found? Anything like a plug, whatever it may be?

• 1:17:51Speaker 05

  You can find me at the gym, lol. No, you can find me at Gabrus on all social media. I got a podcast called Action Boys. I got a podcast called The Gino Lombardo Show I did a while ago. It's now available as a collectible cassette with all 30 episodes on it. You can go to gino.gabrys.com for that. And of course, in the Sirius XM fam, I got Staying Alive Podcast with my co-host, best friend, Adam Pally.

• 1:18:15Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:18:16Speaker 05

  It's a health and wellness podcast hosted by unhealthy and unwell people, so. We will have you on as a guest next time we're recording in LA, of course.

• 1:18:23Laci Mosley?

  I gotta get my balance bracelet.

• 1:18:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know, we should talk about fit. I mean, you wanna talk fitness scams? There's like, we can talk for fucking, you got eight. I'm sure you, I'm sure you have a dozen episodes about fitness scams.

• 1:18:34Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:18:34Speaker 05

  Not including the one we just recorded.

• 1:18:36Laci Mosley?

  Literally. And as always, y'all, send in your letters to snitch on your friends, family, and your enemies at [email protected]. Keep it short and cute, y'all, because we wanna hear what y'all are going up to, getting up to. Wow, phrases in my brain are really working today.

• 1:18:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, put your bracelet back on.

• 1:18:51Laci Mosley?

  And oh shit, shit, okay. And I'm back, and suddenly I can speak clearer and crisper ever before, okay?

• 1:18:57Speaker 05

  Strength, endurance, flexibility, diction.

• 1:18:59Laci Mosley?

  I'm now doing this podcast from the other side of the room, upside down, in a headstand, okay? It just instantly happened.

• 1:19:06Speaker 05

  Lacy's in a Van Damme split across two office chairs.

• 1:19:08Laci Mosley?

  Yes, because that's what this bracelet does for you. But yes, [email protected]. Just make sure your scam is retired because we don't wanna, what, yes, fuck up your bag? A man a scam. And if you wanna find me, D I V A L A C I, Diva Lacy, on all platforms. And if you wanna see all of these great videos of Shaq and so much balancing happening here, scamgoddesspod on Instagram. And if you wanna chat with me, scamgoddesspod on Twitter. And you can get on Hulu and watch Scam Goddess, the television show. You can also watch Going Dutch on Hulu right now. And you can pick up my book wherever books are sold, or audiobooks are sold. Congregation, I want you to get out there and stay balanced, okay?

• 1:19:47Laci Mosley?

  This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Kate Doyle. Stay scheming.

• 1:20:10Speaker 00

  That sound? That's the National Squash League. Pro teams, the world's best players, and rallies so fast you'll forget to breathe. Season four is in full swing and every match streams free on YouTube. Big hits, bigger rivalries, and a front row seat from wherever you are. Watch every match for free on YouTube. Search National Squash League and hit subscribe or follow live updates on Instagram at NSL.Sport.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  She's been thinking about this sleepover all week, but I think about her food allergies all the time. Fortunately, her doctor prescribed Zolair, omalizumab. It's proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens.

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

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• 1:21:35Speaker 03

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