Bill Bailey

We're in luck and so are you, Rosebud Family: because the brilliant Bill Bailey is our guest today. And this is a entertaining and enlightening episode which will surprise and delight you. Bill talks to Gyles about his childhood in Keynesham, where he grew up in a busy house which was also a doctor's surgery; he talks about being musically gifted and how annoying it can be to be able to work out the note your hoover is playing, and he talks about how he came to be called Bill - rather than Mark, his actual name. Bill talks about being in a band at school, how he got fluent in French, and how he met his wife on a flight of stairs. He talks about the joys of caravan holidays, the fun of parlour games, and the sadness of losing his mum. Bill is touring his new show, "Vaudevillean" nationwide until December 2026, and then is at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket in London from December until February. There are further dates Europe in the spring of 2027. Tickets are available from his website, here https://www.billbailey.co.uk/live. Huge thanks to Bill for his brilliant conversation, company and conviviality. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithGemini.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Hello again. I'm so glad you've found us because we think of this as our own enchanted place, somewhere very special. It's the world of Rosebud and it's wonderful that you're here. Welcome. Let's cue the music.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Hello, I'm Giles Brandreth, and this is Rosebud. And I'm about to say cue the music, but I'm thinking I've missed a trick here because I've got a guest who could give us our theme tune on the piano, on the guitar, on the trumpet, on the spoons? Am I giving you a clue? I think I am. Discover who it is after we play the music, the traditional music. This is Rosebud. Cue that music.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Hello, I'm Giles Brandreth. This is the Rosebud Podcast, coming to you from Grosvenor House in London's Park Lane. And I've got somebody who is one of my favorite human beings with me. It's Bill Bailey. I've prepared an introduction, Bill.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  In which I'm going to say to you how I admire you so much because you epitomize, one of my favorite turns of phrase, because you are as modern as tomorrow with a lot of time for yesterday.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Oh, well, that's a very lovely and apt description.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  I think it is. Because you are cutting edge when it comes to the comedy. But also you actually, your current show is called Vaudeville.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  And you are into something I'm very much into.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  That tradition of musical vaudeville variety.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  So that's why you are. If you wanted, if I was going to introduce you, how would I introduce you? What would you like me to say as the opening introduction?

• 3:10Speaker 03

  What I would like to say? Well, I think that you've covered really what I would say, and that is very much the reason why I named this show Vaudeville was that the last, the last theater show I did, the last residency was, one of the comments was Bill Bailey is like a modern day vaudeville. And that's sort of lodged in my mind as a kind of a description, or I hadn't really thought of before, but that sums it up very much.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Okay. And also what people want to know is like a vaudeville show, there have been so many different acts in your life.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  You have been so many different things across the years.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Which we are going to discover.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  And we're going to discover why you're called Bill Bailey in a moment too.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Because your real name is Mark Robert Bailey.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Indeed.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  I imagine those are parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts?

• 3:56Speaker 03

  They were, they were very much so.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Who was Mark? Who was Robert?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Well, Mark was actually the, my, my mother and father hit upon the name because both my mother and father were, had nicknames. So when it came to me, they thought, well, we don't want a name that can be shortened. They didn't want an abbreviation, a Richard for a dick, you know, a William for a Bill. They didn't want a Robert for a Bob. They wanted a name that was, was adamantin, that was in unbreakable, Mark. And then of course I ended up coming called Bill. So it was a, it didn't work out.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  So Mark Robert Bailey, have I got this bit right? Born on the 13th of January 1965?

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Excellent. I've got the right person.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  In the right place on the right day. This is a good start, isn't it?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  That's it. That's the basics.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  That is the basics. And we know you are a Renaissance man, as modern as tomorrow with all the time for yesterday. We know what your real name is. I think that will do. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this special episode of.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  It's been an absolute delight. Thank you, Giles.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  What I want to begin with, Bill, is this, does anyone, does everyone call you Bill now?

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Yes, they do. Apart from my father, who, who refers to me in private as Mark.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  And, and, and I, and it's, and he's still, I think even now, after all this time, when he's, he refers to me to my wife, he'll say, yes, I was just saying to Bill. And he corrects himself because I think he's, you know, he still sees me as Mark because that, that was the name they gave me, you know? Bill has been sort of, was imposed upon me by my geography teacher.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, we're going to come to the geography teacher in a moment. I want to take you right back, Bill, Mark, to your very first memory. What in your head, not from a photograph.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  What comes into your head when I say, Bill Bailey, your very first memory?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  First memory? Well, that would have been when I was growing up in a town called Kenysham.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  What do I say, people of my generation, when you say Kenysham?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Bonzo Dog, Doodar Band, and we say Horace Battula.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Very good. So it's somewhere near Bath, isn't it?

• 6:02Speaker 03

  It is. It's between Bath and Bristol.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  And, and in fact, the Bonzos had a song called Kenysham. And I, I, they very kindly invited me onto the stage to perform Kenysham with them.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Very good.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Which was a sort of full circle moment. But yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Go so, your first memory.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  I'd say it was in the garden. I'd say it was one Christmas. And I say that we had a, we had a snowy Christmas and there was piles of snow around the house. And I just remember being bundled up in some sort of, you know, huge kind of, I suppose, what would it been then? Would have been some sort of padded anorak and taken down to the hill that under, below the house. And there was a river which ran through the, through the town and sledging down to the river.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  And I just remember the, just the cold and the blackness of the water and the general sort of conviviality of Christmas.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  And would you have been with your parents?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  I would have been, yes.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Because you were an only child.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  I was, yes.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Your parents are there. Tell me who your mom was and then who your dad was and what they were like at that time?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. My, my mom, well, this is the thing, her name was, she was christened Maisie Doreen. But because, I think partly because her mom and dad were both Welsh, they were from South Wales. She ended up with a nickname, Madryn, which means my dear. And which is a lovely pet name. And that was the name that she was called.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Madryn.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Madryn. And so she was an extremely sort of vivacious ball of energy, that life and soul. She was someone who would, she loved people. She loved giving parties. She loved entertaining people. She loved feeding people. You know, she was, what was my, I think she was called, they, she had another nickname, the little mother, when she was a little girl, because she looked after everyone. She loved to look after people. And she invent, I mean, that nurturing kind of sort of character, she carried her through her whole adult life.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  She was a, she was a nurse and, and she, she just loved looking after people. And she was never happier than at Christmas. Christmas was, she came into her own, you know? She loved to entertain, to provide, and she loved to sing. She would sing along to songs and she loved games. We played endless, you know, games.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Give me an example of the favorite games of yours.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  We would play blind man's bar. And we don't seem to be playing these games these days, you know? There was another one called Squeak Piggy Squeak.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  I love Squeak Piggy Squeak.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  You love Squeak Piggy Squeak?

• 8:59Speaker 02

  I love.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  It's a.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Got to work out who's doing the squeaky.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Yes. And so I just think about this the other day, I had this amazing image of one of my elderly aunts and then my grandfather sitting on her lap. And squeak, piggy squeak, and she would make this kind of torture.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Cause it's it's an old fashioned Victorian parlor game, but there is a slight erotic charge to it.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Well, there is.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Let's face it.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Yes, there is.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  So your auntie's sitting on grandpa's lap. I mean, don't, this wasn't totally as innocent.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  No, absolutely. I imagine, well, the long winter nights would have passed much faster. But it was a fun game. I was a kid. I remember thinking, this is, this is, this is fantastic.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Because you are on Christmas Day. Are you the only kid in the room?

• 9:44Speaker 03

  No, no. So I had, there would be, sometimes I was, but very often, uh, um, the, the, the boxing day was a big event. Because my mother's brother, uh, my uncle, he would come with his family and he had three children. And so my cousins were, one was younger, the two were older, so we would sort of hang out.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  And your mother's parents, they lived in an annex of your house.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  They did, that's right.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  So they were part and parcel of the family.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  They were, they were there, um, part of the, part of the gang. My grandfather was a, a stonemason. And he built part of the house and my grandmother worked in a florist. And so Evelyn and Orton, his name was, uh, and he was, um, he loved to sit, he loved to sing. He sang in a male voice choir when he was growing up in Wales. And so it was a merry throng.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  And so they spent most of their time in the annex or were they in the main house most, a lot of the time?

• 10:40Speaker 03

  The idea that that, that was the theory, you know, then my grandfather had his, you know, he was very, very delighted. He got a coloured television. Oh, that was his great pride and joy. And he, uh, he didn't have a remote control, of course. So, but my grandfather's quite a practical person and he fashioned one out of a bit of bamboo and a bit of cork. He glued on to the end so he could reach the switches from the TV from his sofa. So he didn't have to get up out of the sofa. So he would just sort of poke this pole at the TV switch. Change the channel with this bit of bamboo.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  I mean, it was.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  So before the remote, he invented the remote.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  He invented the remote, yes. Analog remote. And, um, he was delighted, delighted with that. And, uh, yes, but that was the theory that they would stay there. And of course, you know, they, they, they, they loved to come through and, and talk to, talk to us and be part of the family.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Fit your dad into this picture now. We've got the parents and law, his parents and law.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  My mum and my grandparents and then my dad, well, my dad was a GP. And, um, he were, he practised out of the front of the house. So we had a, we had a, we had an old, uh, we lived in one end of an old house, um, an Elizabethan house. And it was, it was attached to a pub. And so the pub was part of the same building, an E, an Elizabethan E. And so, um, it used to be a shop. The front of the house was a, was a, was a grocery shop. And in fact, it had, you can see, in certain days, the light would, would shine on the light and you could see that old Cadbury's uh, sort of sign in the wall, in the window. And, um, that was the waiting room. And then, then my dad's surgery was the front room.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  And he, he was there for many years. And, uh, I was, you know, growing up in a house where there were strangers coming. Patients would come to the house and, you know, occasionally wander around.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Was the pub still an open pub?

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  So it was quite lively and noisy at night, was it?

• 12:36Speaker 03

  It could be, yes, absolutely. Yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  So, and this is in the middle of Caen Shum?

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Yes, pretty mu, I mean, it was at the top of the hill. So as you come into Caen Shum from Bath and then you go down the hill, across the river and into the main street. So we were not far from the, from the centre.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  So this is a very busy place where you are, this house of yours.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Elizabethan in Origin.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Pub next door, what was the pub called?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  The pub was, um, now let me see, was it the New Inn? Um, I think it was called the New Inn. And then there was another pub across the road called the Talbot, where I worked when I was a, when I was a kid. And then there was, um, a restaurant, a Chinese restaurant, the other side of the road.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  So you're right in the middle of town.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Right in the middle of town.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  And Dr Bailey's surgery is there.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  And did you use the same front door as the patients?

• 13:19Speaker 03

  No, no, they came in through the side door, which was the, the, I guess would have been the old front door of the house. And then there, there was a sort of room with a bay window and a little, and then a little door through to my father's surgery. And, um, with a lot of, I remember it had a lot of, uh, sort of padding, a lot of, you know, extra, um, felt to kind of just insulate it for sound, I guess. So that it would, you know, the conversations would remain private.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  Do you remember his receptionist?

• 13:50Speaker 03

  I do.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  What was she like?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Her name was Mrs Keridge. And she was quite an indomitable woman, as you can imagine. And she had a desk, which was, it was her domain.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  So this is a traditional, old school GP.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  And you go in, you speak to Mrs Keridge, I'd like to see Dr Bailey.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  He can't see you and pray he can't see you until next Tuesday.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Can't see to you next Tuesday.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  And you were here on Monday. Are you sure?

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Yes, that's right. Take a seat, uh, take a seat at him. And so, um, and then occasionally, uh, my dad, when he was, um, he was off doing a call or whatever, the phone, the phone would be routed through to our house.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  And when my voice, well, my, I sound very much like my father. And when my voice, when I was of course a little kid. But when my voice broke, I would sometimes answer the phone and patients would mistake me for my father. And then just start kind of just like unloading these terrible symptoms.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Were you able to help?

• 14:47Speaker 03

  I was not, not at all. I was just, I, can I, oh, and then doctor, and there's terrible, this boil, I had this boil, I had all, absolutely. Can I, I just, and then, and then they'd say, so what do you think, doctor? And I go, well, I'll, I'll just, I'll tell the doctor when he gets, well, who's this then? You know, and then slam the phone down and run out of there. That was always a bit.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  What sort of a doctor was he? Did he look after you? Were you one of his patients?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  No, well, actually, no, um, his, he was in a practice with a, um, couple of other doctors. And so I was actually the patient of his, his partner.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Which, who also came into the same surgery?

• 15:24Speaker 03

  We used to practise that.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Oh, so it was a really busy house.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  It was, it was a busy house. And, um, and I, and, but he was, he was, my dad has, yeah, I mean, he still does, obviously, you know, he's ninety four now. You know, he's, he's still going strong and sharp as a tack. But what, his patients, and what I could see in him was that he had a very gentle manner. He had a very calm manner, he's very caring, very nurturing. And so people always wanted to see my dad, you know, Dr Bailey. He was the one that people wanted to see because he had a, he had a very reassuring sort of calm manner. As indeed, I suppose, you know, many doctors do, but the, being a doc, doctoring then was quite different to being a GP now, say, for example. You know, he had to do lots of, lots of home visits and the phone, the, you know, he was on call.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  And so the phone would ring in the middle of the night. And I remember that, you know, I remember clearly, um, hearing the phone ring, you know, in, in, in the middle of the night. And, and I think that what the differentiator between my dad and some of his partners was my dad would, he would answer the phone with, as if he just woken up, hello, good morning, Dr Bailey. And some doctors would go, what? You know, what are this, you better be a death doll.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  What do you want? And my father would go, hello, good morning, Dr Bailey. And they'd be like, oh, thank you, doctor. And then, and he would always, he would always, you know, he'd have a suit, he'd have a jacket and a tie waiting to go.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  And a proper doctor's bag.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  And a proper doctor's bag.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  And he'd go out and deliver the baby.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Uh, or administer the last rites, whatever.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  Last rites or, or, you know, calm, calm, calm someone down. And, um, and he, we, we had a, it was, yes, it was. He had a lot of, um, very, very loyal patients who, when he retired, they all said, oh, they would meet him in the street and then they would tell him about their ailments.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  And did he and your mother get on well together?

• 17:18Speaker 03

  They did, yeah. They were a very good team. And, um, you know, my, my father was probably the less, um, sort of, you know, in terms of, um, being sociable, he was less gregarious, maybe less, um, my mother was, was, was a vivacious woman. And so she would sort of tend to kind of, you know, hold court at sort of family occasions. And my dad was quite happy with that.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Picture them together for me, a moment, a specific moment, maybe driving in the car to give us a flavour of how they interacted.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Yes, um, I think that, uh, uh, my mother would sort of, she would say, well, um, now come on, Christopher, now we're, we're going here. Now stop here. Now we want to do the, want to look at this. And my dad would just sort of nod quietly and acquiesce. And, uh, so his, very much was like, he knew, everyone knew their role, you know. My, my, my, my dad was very much, he was in charge of various things, you know, he would, we used to go on caravanning holidays. And so he would organise all of the thing, the caravan and the thing and the, the tow bar. And the mother would be, and then she would have to check, tech, check all the, the lights were working. And the two of them would work together and they had this sort of routine worked out where, you know, he, she would, he would go right, pressing the brakes, brake noises.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  You go, yeah, it's working, brakes working, right, left indicator, yeah, that's working. You know, it was like a sort of like pre-flight checks, you know.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  But they were clearly a very good team.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  And they worked out their roles.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  They had.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  If you wanted to give me the best moment of your childhood with them. What would it be?

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Um, I think though, you know, I think some of those Christmases, I think, are some of my fondest memories of of growing up in that house because um, you know, my my dad was away a lot of the time, of course, you know, he was working or he was on call. And my mum was sort of running the whole show. And when at Christmas, of course, everyone was there, everyone was um, you know, sort of part of the the the the gang and my dad was joining in with the games and my mum would would make fun of him and put a sort of silly hat on him, you know, she would, she loved all of the, she loved everything about Christmas and she would insist that he he put the, he put the paper hat on. Come on, Christopher, put the paper hat on. I don't, I don't want to put that paper on. Just put the paper hat on, stop complaining, put the paper hat on.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  And we all had the paper hats, we'd all sing in and some of those old photographs would just make, make me laugh.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  This is a happy childhood.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  It is, it was.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Give me then your worst memory as a child of being with your mother or your father, your worst time with them.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Worst time, uh, you know, it's it's it's hard to me to think of one.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Did they tell you off? Did you ever?

• 19:57Speaker 03

  I think.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Did you tell a lie ever that?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  I think that the the times where there was tension perhaps in the house was when I, in my teenage years, which I think is, I think that's pretty sort of pretty standard, really, you know, common. Um, and that was that, you know, there was a kind of, I think the sort of three generations in the one house worked very well when I was a a young child. And I would come home from school and instead, then my mum would be, she'd be busying herself in the kitchen, doing all kinds of things. And my grandfather, who was a, who was a, a, he used to think a lot, he was a great thinker and he loved talking about all kinds of subjects. He would sort of interrogate me about the school and I would do the whole sort of download from school to him.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  Oh, and what did you do? What subjects and how did you get on? And my grandmother was there and it worked very well. As a teenager, it it was tension was because what would happen is I would come home late and then then my grandparents would then they would record the fact that I was late, late and then they would bring that up, oh, that boy was late, he came home late the other night and and then my mother's like, yes, yes. And then so then probably there was conversations had about it and it was like, what's gonna happen and oh, and you know, you should have come back and all the rest of it. And I guess being an only child as well, I I sort of had a kind of sense of a little bit of rebelliousness, which which brought out, I I mean, a couple of times when there was a bit of, we, there was a bit of a row,

• 21:26Speaker 03

  a bit of tension, you know, like coming home late. And I think I woke everyone up because, you know, I came in through the front door and they were moving a, a, what do you call them? A wardrobe. And I didn't know that the wardrobe was in the front room, in the front corridor. And I walked straight into it and knocked it over virtually and then the whole house, all the lights come on, is there a burglar and all, you know, so I guess those were, those were the times where it was, there was a little bit of tension.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Uh, they they had traditional values and the best of the traditional values.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Were they churchgoing people?

• 22:00Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  And did you follow in their example?

• 22:02Speaker 03

  Well, for for many years I did, you know, I went along to Sunday school and I did, that was part of my.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  And you quite enjoyed it?

• 22:09Speaker 03

  I did. That was our, that was a routine.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Also, maybe music came in, I mean.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  There was a lot of music came in, yeah, a lot of performances and singing in in the Sunday school, singing in church and I used to love that, I used to love singing hymns.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  But you're going to church now?

• 22:22Speaker 03

  No, not so much. But it has, it has not been played as much of a role in in my life, certainly as an adult. But you know what? Um, I, in recent times, it has started to reappear. We go every Christmas, on every Christmas day we go if I'm around. And my father is very, he's still, you know, he still was a churchgoer. He goes to he, within a week of him turning up in London, he'd already joined the local church. And now he's kind of a fixture at the local church, which is just wonderful. And I I love the fact that they have this wonderful community and that, you know, he was, he was a bit poorly recently and they all rallied round and sent him cards and, you know, it was, it, I I felt,

• 23:05Speaker 03

  I'm very grateful to them because I'm not always around to to be there, you know, sometimes I'm away working or I'm touring. And I'm aware that, you know, he has this support group.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Well, it's the line of news about being a leaf on a tree. You need to be attached to something that is alive and still growing.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  If you're off the tree, well, it's freedom is nice, but you throw it to the ground and die.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  If you're attached to something like that, which your dad now is

• 23:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  to his church. It's wonderful that these things go on.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  You mentioned music. Now, tell us about music in your life and when it first began, when you first became aware of music as a phenomenon. How old do you think you were?

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Ah, well, I think I was, we had a piano in our front room, an upright piano.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  This is a separate front room to the?

• 23:47Speaker 03

  Yes, this is the lounge.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  The lounge?

• 23:49Speaker 03

  The lounge, you know, where the record player was and the, the television eventually and the, and I used to go in there and and play tunes that I picked out from the radio. And my mum would come in and listen to me playing and she would, she would.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  And how old are you now? How small?

• 24:05Speaker 03

  Three or four.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Three or four and you've heard things on the radio?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  And you're just?

• 24:10Speaker 03

  And I could, I listened to the tune and I was able to recreate the tune.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  With one finger?

• 24:14Speaker 03

  With one finger. Like, uh, it was, and then I realised that, what what I realised was perfect pitch, where you're able to sort of, you were able to pick a note without reference to a keyboard. So I'd hear a note and I could say, oh, I know what that note is, that's a B flat or a C.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  My gosh.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  And this was, and it's annoying, it's annoying, actually, because you start hearing it in the Hoover, the Hoover, you hear the vacuum going over and you go, oh, it's an A, I think it's an A. And it's just, you have to sort of try and zone it out, tune it out because it comes, becomes quite intrusive. Um, but yes, I played the piano a lot.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  You did, obviously you had a piano because somebody else in the family played it?

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  Who who played it?

• 24:54Speaker 03

  So my mother played, um, my, uh, grandmother and also my, my dad used to play the guitar. But also we had my, her, her brother, um, sang in a barbershop quintet. My cousin played, my, all my cousins played instruments, brass instruments. In fact, my cousin went on to be a professional trumpet player in the, in the Teatro San Caolos in, in Lisbon. And so we, we had a, we were like, you know, the Von Trapps, you know, we'd all sort of sit around and sing and play.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Wonderful. So your mother decided you must have lessons?

• 25:31Speaker 03

  She did.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  And so when, what age did you start the lessons?

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Well, I probably was when I started, um, school when I was seven. And, um, and we had a very, a small, a small and yet, shall we say, um, fiery woman

• 25:52Speaker 03

  called Mrs. Cryer. And she was my first piano teacher and she lived up the road. And I had lessons with her and she was very strict and she would tell you if you hadn't been practising. And she would make it perfectly clear that you hadn't practised, but she was.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  And was she right?

• 26:08Speaker 03

  She was right, yes. And she was, um, she was very good, actually. She was quite a, a, a taskmaster. And, um, she recognised that I had some ability and we, I went all through the exams with her. And then when I went to school, ju- junior school, then I continued there with a teacher who was the music teacher. And she was a, a big, not only a brilliant music teacher, she was a big influence on my life, Linda Phipps. And, uh, but, um, my dad said, he told me this story, he said, he met Mrs. Cryer, I, I, I fear is no longer with us. Uh, but he met her in in town and many, many, many years later, like we're talking sort of decades later.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  And she said, um, she goes, oh, she was, Christopher, she said, what's, what's Mark? Of course, she'd got me Mark, she goes, what's Mark doing these days? My dad, he never, never really, he's never really known what to say to people, you know.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  He's a, he's a mordevillian now.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  And he said, he said, he said, he said, I was put on the spot, he said, I didn't know what to say. And he says, um, he's, he's in showbiz, which is such a lovely old way of describing it. What does he do? What's Mark doing these days? Um, he's in, in, in showbiz. And she sort of went, oh, what a shame.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Well, possibly how right she was.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  How right she was.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Because she had you playing Schubert and Mozart and all of that.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer.

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• 29:28Speaker 02

  What were the family playing at the piano? What kind of music was it?

• 29:31Speaker 03

  Oh, all sorts of things. Well, my Uncle Sid loved music. My Auntie Dora was an opera singer. And she was a semi-professional singer. And she would sing. She taught me things like "Cherry ripe", you know, and so which I would learn.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  How does that guy?

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Cherry ripe, cherry ripe. Ripe I cry for unfair ones. The car who will buy? It's a lovely old song.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Lovely, yes.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful old song. And she would sing, she would come and sing this.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  A touch of Hindra Bracket here.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  It is a little bit.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can picture the scene in this lounge of yours.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  With the various aunties.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  With the cherry flowing. And so we would sing all sorts of, I don't know, classic songs, contemporary songs. My mom loved Peri Como. She would, she would sing.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Magic moments.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Magic moments around the house. And we would sing all sorts of things. Classical songs, some Schubert songs, some of the Nida, some of, you know, all sorts of things.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Who was your first friend outside of the home? This very happy home?

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Well, I would say that I had, I was very lucky. There was, there was friends who was, who I was at school with and who used to come around the house. And there was a friend of mine, Tony, lived up the road. And he lived close to us. And so we used to go and hang out, play football. And then when I went to junior school, there was a friend called Toby, who was, who liked me, loved comedy. And we would sit around and record conversations, you know, on an old, I had a little sort of.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  This is a primary school, junior school?

• 31:11Speaker 03

  No, this was junior school, yeah.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Say, eight, nine?

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Recording comedy?

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, no, no, sorry. This was, this was a bit later, sort of in when we, when we went up to, you know, big school. But yeah, so, but at that time, yeah, there was, people would come around and they'd always love coming around the house because they'd say, we get great food at your house. Great grub. My mom would put on a spread.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Because you put on a spread as well as going out to be a nurse all day.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  This is where, obviously, where your work ethic comes from. Having these parents who are working all the time.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  They were.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Delivering all the time. And that's why you practiced.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  When you learned your instrument.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Take us to this secondary school. Linda Phipps was her name?

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Linda Phipps, yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Tell us why she is such an influence. Describe her to us.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Okay, Linda was, she, her and her husband Ian were the, they ran the music department in the school. So Ian would take lessons. He would teach music. So he would teach, I guess, what it would be O level music then. So there'll be, you know, a bunch of kids playing the recorder, which is, you know, as we know, is, it's a classic of school music. Then there was a guy who played the guitar. He taught me guitar. I taught myself the guitar after that. But Linda was my music tutor. I was the only pupil who was studying A level music.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  What school was this?

• 32:35Speaker 03

  King Edwards in Bath.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  It's a day school, you went every day?

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, every day, yeah. And so she, she taught me music every day. And so it was just me. And so we, it was very, it was, you know, sort of one-on-one tuition. She was, she had a rigorous work ethic. She was a bundle of energy. She sort of crackled with energy the whole time. And she would say, well, why don't you try this? And then I would say, okay, well, what are we doing now? Well, we're doing a Mozart piano concert. Okay, so we'd learn that. And then she'd say, well, you know that pianists at the time would sometimes improvise their own sort of cadenza to kind of showcase their skills.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  And that was something which you would improvise. And I would say, what, you mean, it's not, there's no music for this? And she goes, no, I mean, there's one here. That's, that's a version of it. And I would say, well, what do I do here? And she goes, well, you, you do it. You just improvise one. And so I, oh, okay, I'll give it a go. And on her encouragement, on her sort of insistence, then I practiced this thing. And I performed it with a chamber orchestra at the Holborn Museum in Bath, at the end of Polnij Street. Really, I guess, my first major performance in front of an audience. And it was the most nerve-wracking thing I'd done at the time. But it was also exhilarating. You know, it was exciting.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  And I, and I improvised this cadenza. And then she's there sort of beaming, giving the thumbs up.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  And when you got your A for A level music, which I assume you did?

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Can you remember when she told you or when you shared the news with her? Can you remember that moment of being with her?

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  At the moment of your triumph?

• 34:22Speaker 03

  She, I think, I, I don't know, I, I'm starting to think that she actually telephoned to tell me because she was so excited. And she was absolutely delighted because, you know, this was the result of all of this work, this hard work. And also, she was, she took enormous pride in what she did. You know, she was an organist. She, she was played in one of the churches in Bath. She was, she would, and she also took lessons. She had young children. At one stage, the child was on her, she had the baby on her lap while she was playing and this child is bouncing around. It was, she was brilliant.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  She was a great inspiration. What I, what I remember from her is when she would say things like, you know, you're capable of this. You're capable of more than you imagine. That, and that became like almost a sort of, like a mantra. Like it was a, I hear her voice all the time, even now. She, she, she died many years ago tragically, but not tragically. But I mean, she, she died, you know, I'd say, young, you know. And when I, I remember when I started to become more successful and tours started, the audience numbers started to go up. And then eventually I found myself about to step on stage at Wembley Arena.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  And, you know, and like, when, there's, there's certain moments in my life.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  And this is thousands in the audience?

• 35:56Speaker 03

  13,000.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  13,000 people?

• 35:58Speaker 03

  13,000 people. And, and I was just walking up the steps to be on the stage. And I would hear her voice, you know, you, you're capable of doing this. If you have any doubts, no, you just push yourself. And, and I, I remember that very clearly.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  You're capable of more than you can imagine.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  It's a wonderful mantra for life.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  It is.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  You're a teenage boy now. There's a rebellious streak to you. Tell me about this rebellious streak.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  And what, how did it manifest itself?

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Oh, well, I mean, you know, various disastrous hair dying.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Well, when I had hair, obviously.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  This is the seventies, isn't it? Late seventies?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yes, that's right. And yeah, peroxide, you know, blonde. I was a blonde kid. I had spiky blonde hair. And, you know, and they said, oh, yeah, eventually your hair will fall out. What do they know? But um.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Did you go in for smoking?

• 36:58Speaker 03

  I did, I smoked very briefly and then I realised I had asthma, so that sort of put the kibosh on that. Um, and so I didn't, I didn't.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Was there drinking?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  There was a bit of drinking, yes, it was, um, and there was a few parties and uh. It was very much like, you know, I, I guess, pretty normal, really. I mean, it was nothing out of the ordinary. Um, I, I, we, I formed a band at school, we had a, we had a five-piece band, we played.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  What was, what was that called?

• 37:27Speaker 03

  That was called um, Behind Closed Doors.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Great name for a band.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  It's not a bad name.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  It's a very good name for a band.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  Not a bad name.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Cause it was just a boys' school, was it?

• 37:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, but um.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  And where did you perform?

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Well, mainly Behind Closed Doors.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  Sort of became a self-fulfilling prophecy. We didn't really get many gigs, but we did, we did, we played a few school halls. We played a few gigs in the local venues, pubs and such like.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  And did you get groupies, where there are girls coming along and saying?

• 37:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, suddenly you realise, this is why people go into, you know, why some people go into bands, you know, there's a lot of interest. And um, I remember that my, one of the first gigs we did was in Bridgewater, at the community centre in Bridgewater. Well, it was a big gig then, prestigious, and um, I, my first ever guitar solo, and I was, I was so nervous. And it was, I remember the song, it was the Kinks song, You Really Got Me.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  How's it go?

• 38:23Speaker 03

  You really got me, it's got, it's a, it's a real, it's a brilliant song. Da girl, you really got me now, you got me so I can't sleep at night. Oh girl, you really got me now, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing. Oh girl, you really got me now, you got me so I don't know what I'm do, you really got me, I was, I mean, it's, oh, it's good stuff.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Can I tell you, the roast bud crowd, you're gonna be getting a lot of uh, groupies now. It may be a few years too late, but my god, so who then, was, could you see them moving towards the stage?

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  In time to this.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  And you could see them like, oh, okay.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Beginning to froth at the mouth.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  This is it, this is a guitar solo, this is the big moment, here we go, don't, don't mess it up.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  Oh, it was excitement, excitement.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  And as a result of this, can you, do you recall your first kiss, your first squeezing of a hand?

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Kiss, yes, I do, actually, and um, I uh, I remember um, I was uh. It was in a uh, in a school, in a disco, and um. Unfortunately, or not, perhaps, I mean, I just remember the wrong word, but there was um, there was, I don't know, I can't remember then what the song was. But all I remember was, it was kind of a slow song, it was a kind of a smoocher. And uh, and then, I, I only got the kiss at the end of the song, and then the wurzels came on.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  And rather killed the moment.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  It sort of killed the moment. I love the wurzels, you know, but, you know.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  That's for later in the relationship.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  It is, it's like.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Not on the first day.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  My tractor through your race track last night, ooh ah, ooh ah, I thought, oh no, that's kind of, it's killed the vibe somewhat.

• 40:13Speaker 02

  Oh dear, oh. Did you have proper girlfriends at school?

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I had several girlfriends and um, and uh, they, yeah, for, I've, um, um. Some of them, well, girls I met through, there was another school um, in Bath, there was the um, Bath High School, which was the girl's school. And so we'd, we'd occasionally meet through a love of um, the stage. So, when we put on uh, plays, some of them, as you know, they, they contain women. And so we'd need some girls to come in, we rehearsed and we sort of put on.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  So you were doing, I mean, you were doing drama and comedy as well as the music, tell us a little bit about the comedy and the drama, what was the, yes.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  So the comedy was um, was like, there was a club in Bath called Moles Club, and we persuaded the owner to let us have a comedy night. And so we went on and put this comedy night on.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  And it's you and a few friends from school?

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Me and a friend of mine, Toby, we just did sketches and bits of stand-up.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  And you called yourself an act then?

• 41:16Speaker 03

  We, we didn't really have an act there, no, um, but it was something exhilarating about it, exciting.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  And was it sort of, I was gonna say poor man's Monty Python, I didn't mean that.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  That would be a fair point.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  What kind of, what kind of humour were you giving us?

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Sketches, we did sketches, we had, you know, we did a sketch where a, where a bloke was a, a lion tamer. And, and uh, and he said, yeah, I can put my uh, head in the lion's mouth. And we go, oh, have you got a lion? Yes, I've got one right here, here's a lion, and he goes, and then the other bloke would go, well, this is the Yellow Pages.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  And he'd go, no, no, that's a lion, that's a lion, and he'd go, open it up. He put his head in the, that was.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  That's quite a funny gag.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Not a bad gag, anyway.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  It would work today.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  It would, it would, that's a good point, she might have done.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  Make a note of it.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Make a note of that, and um, that was the kind of thing, sort of daft stuff, yeah, Python-esque, really sort of Goon-esque and. And then a bits of, you know, music, with lots of music, lots of songs, uh, so that was the comedy side.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  And you were liking the reaction, I mean.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  I loved the reaction, yeah, it was, it was, it was.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  You loved doing it, you loved the reaction, and were you actually appearing in plays as well, proper?

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Plays by, written by other people?

• 42:31Speaker 03

  We would do, um, we would, we put, put on plays, co-productions with the, with the girl's school, and so there would be, there would be, same. And then towards the end of the, my time at school, we'd put on, probably the most ambitious of the lot was um, Arturo Uy.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Oh my goodness, is that Bato Brecht?

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Brecht, yes.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  You didn't play Arturo.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  I played Arturo Uy.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  The big part.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  The big part.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Almost defeated Leonard Rossiter, I mean, the greats have tried this and not necessarily succeeded.

• 42:57Speaker 03

  It's, it's a, yes.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  He's a crazy man, character, he's sort of.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Deranged, yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  Hitler meets, um, I mean, it's very bizarre, isn't it?

• 43:04Speaker 03

  It is a bizarre play, but I mean, it was, and you could tell that, you know, that this was not the sort of play that the school, the school normally put on. The parents were likely sort of a little bit nonplussed by it, it was great, great, great experience.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  So what in your head were you gonna do? You were getting good A-levels.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  I mean, what were the other subjects you were doing?

• 43:20Speaker 03

  English, um, probably, English and uh, whatever, some of the languages, probably French.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  How come you, you can speak good French?

• 43:28Speaker 03

  I just had an affinity for the language at an early age, um, we had a brilliant French teacher. Who encouraged us to speak French, and then I went on a, an exchange visit with a, with a French family. And a French kid in Marseille, in a place called Pelisson, and it was a funny little town, as in some, you know, some of those French towns are. You know, like, people talk about France as this, this, you know, this beautiful country, it's a wonderful architecture, and it, it's great swathes of it. Which are extremely, sort of, a little bit featureless, you know, and sort of, you know, post-war, sort of modernist kind of places.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Which are a little bit soulless, I mean, this was one of those places, but so they went out the whole time, we visited, we would go to, we went to a corridor. We went to see the bullfights, we went to all kinds of things, and I just loved the language, and then, I um, I. When I left school, I actually, um, I won a competition, at the uh, the um, Institut Français. In South Kensington, and the prize was to go and take part in the Festival d'Avignon.

• 44:34Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  And so I went and.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  How wonderful.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  I went and performed shows.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Oh fantastic.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  And I did a show there called um, Les Bateaures d'Empire, by Boris Vion, which is an extraordinary play. I don't know if you've even been familiar with it, it's, it's absolutely bonkers, I mean, it's, you know, a family that live in an apartment. And this, it's the perfect sort of family, the father, mother, mother, the father, and the daughter, and they, they, they live in this perfect harmony. Except that there is a mummified figure, sort of writhing on the hearth, which nobody talks about.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  And not the elephant in the room, but the, the mummified body in the room.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  It's this bandaged figure, just writhing on the hearth, and they just carry on, good morning, good morning, everything fine, yes, fine. And they just, nobody notices.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  But it's a brilliant metaphor for so much of life, isn't it?

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly, that's right, and so, and, and it, it's, it's a brilliant play in many ways, and what would happen is. That any frustrations, they would meet out on this bandaged figure, and so, there would be, instead of an argument, somebody would kick this figure. And then, so then, they were in this apartment, and then what would happen is there'd be a noise, le bruit, terrifying, sort of disembodied voices. Like that, then blackout, and then the next act, the same apartment, everything's exactly as it was. Except one person's missing.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  So the mother has gone, been consumed by this noise and the figure is still writhing there and then and then the next act and then the daughter is gone. So then it's just Dupont Léon, âge quarante-neuf ans, dentition bien entretenue, vaccin élégamment reporté sur les membres. So just him, he's just on his own and then he has a kind of breakdown.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  This is your part, I assume, of course.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  He's sort of, having ignored this figure for so long and the fact that his family have been consumed by this sort of dark force, he finally confronts his own, this sort of loneliness and madness.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Well, I get a very good picture of you as a young man, from this lovely family. You are brilliant, bursting with energy and ideas and fun and it's a happy childhood where you're working hard and getting the rewards of working hard because you're doing well at exams. You've got some teachers who really admire you, love you, want you to do well. What in your head do you want to do at this stage?

• 47:03Speaker 03

  At this stage, I thought I would perform in some way.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Didn't think of being a doctor?

• 47:09Speaker 03

  I didn't, no.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Because many doctors are the children of doctors.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Yes, they are.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  And did your parents have an ambition for you in their heads?

• 47:15Speaker 03

  I think they did and I thought that they might, that might have been the case. But I showed so much affinity for languages and for performing.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  And also, the perfect pitch also gave you an ability to pick up the language. So you listened, you heard, you reproduced it, exactly.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  So you're going to be a performer, but you go to Westfield College, London, which is part of London University, to read English, probably?

• 47:38Speaker 03

  English and drama.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  English and drama.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  English and drama. And then during that time, I realised it wasn't for me. I wanted to work. It felt like, I want to get on.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  And by then, you'd been to Avignon.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  You'd actually performed in another language.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  And you were still, you were doing this and you were doing that.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  And I immediately, my first week in London, I walked into a wine bar on the Finchley Road and they had a piano in it. And with the sort of, I don't know, recklessness or just, I don't know.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Insouciance.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Insouciance de la jeunesse. I went in there and I just said, do you need a pianist? And he said, uh, yeah, all right. So I got a job playing the piano in this wine bar of an evening. And Giles, this is the God's honest truth. I went in for my, I think my second night playing there and Ozzy Osbourne and the entire crew of Black Sabbath walk in. It seemed to be his local. And I just thought, this is what, this is normal for London. You know, this is must be what happens in London. You know, you get a job and then a rock band turn up. And Ozzy Osbourne's drummer introduced me to a drink, which was

• 48:53Speaker 03

  called a depth charge, which was a pint of lager with a schooner of tea and Maria in it. And that, it did the job. And he said, oh, he's all right, this lad, isn't he? I remember that was my first review, was Ozzy Osbourne. He can play, can't he?

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Interesting. So that's why you decided Westfield College is not for me.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Not for me. I want the bright lights. I want to.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  And so did you, did you go to another place of learning?

• 49:20Speaker 03

  I left, I stuck it out for the first year and then I, but I'd already got a job working in the bar, playing the piano, trying to do gigs in local clubs. And then I joined a French speaking theatre company, which was set up by one of the tutors. And we performed French theatre texts for A level students.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Can I say how skillful you are at moving from being somebody from Bath to being a French person? As you spoke, your body changed.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  It does.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  It does. Very, very interesting.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  It does.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  You're able to do that. So you, I'm also getting the impression you're somebody who's content in himself.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  At that stage, you didn't have a regular girlfriend, a permanent girlfriend.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  No, not at all.

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  No, it was.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Because it's all happening inside you and there's so much happening, we don't need anything else.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  No, it's, I just wanted to get on. I saw that there was opportunities there. I wanted to perform. I loved performing these plays, Molière, Racine, Cornet. And then after that, the sort of comedy scene in London started to sort of take off. And so I ended up going along to open mic nights and trying things out.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalised AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithGemini.

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• 52:59Speaker 02

  So what was your first comedy moment?

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 53:02Speaker 02

  First comedy shtick in London.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  Comedy shtick, yeah.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  What did you do and where was it?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I think it was, well, there was, there was.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  This is late 80s now.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  That's right. There weren't that many dedicated comedy clubs then, but there were, there were certainly, there were student bars that you could perform in. There was, you know, little basements. And I think I probably, it was one of those places I played.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  And do you remember what you were paid?

• 53:24Speaker 03

  I probably.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Share of the take or something?

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Share of the take, yes. Door, a door split. That was the kind of common thing then. And then I remember doing the, you know, playing, we played Comedy Store, Jongleurs, that was another.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  You say we?

• 53:40Speaker 03

  There was me and a friend from college.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Another friend.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  So you, along the way, you picked up these guys.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  But you're the leader.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Toby.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  He wanted to do something else.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. I'm not saying you're dismissive of him.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  He just went his own way.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  And now we have Martin.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  Martin, yes. And he and I formed this double act, the Rubber Bishops.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  The Rubber Bishops.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  The Rubber Bishops.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. And we performed, we performed in lots of different places. And we became, we were a music act and it was sort of pretty fast paced, kind of back and forth, songs, little sketches, gags. And we got a lot of work, you know, and got, learned a lot along the way.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  And you've kept going.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  And so in a sense, your story has been that story repeated. You've done other things, of course.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  You've done sitcoms, you've been a proper actor, you've done all of that. But essentially, what you were doing and you kept on doing.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Kept on doing it.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  When did you meet your wife?

• 54:37Speaker 03

  We, we met in Edinburgh in probably 1987.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Is that year you were nominated? Because I think I was there and you were nominated for a period around that time.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  That was around about, that was a bit later.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Oh, fine.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was a bit later. Yeah. I was just doing, this is when I was still gigging with Toby and we, we had a gig in Negotians, which is still there. It's now a part of, it's a venue and it was a venue then, but it's now been sort of done up a bit. We recently recreated the moment we met. We went, we met on the stairs of this comedy club and she was going up the stairs, having seen the, and I was going back down.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  What's her name?

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Kristen.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Kristen.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Kristen.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  So Kristen is going up the stairs.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  She's going up the stairs and I'm going down. And she stops me and she goes, that was a great gig, you're really funny. And I was like, oh, thanks. And it was, that was the moment. And we went, we went back there last year to recreate this moment.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  So what happened as a result of that moment? There was just a look in the eye.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  And you registered it, both of you?

• 55:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Did you follow it through immediately?

• 55:41Speaker 03

  I did. Because.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  There was something, I don't know, there was, you you know what it's like, there's something about someone. There's something, there's some kind of connection. And you think, I I don't want it just this to be the only time we speak. I don't want it to be, oh, great gig, oh, bye. I wanted some, I wanted another conversation. And so I went up to him, we chatted about the show and then it turned out.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Did you follow her down the stairs?

• 56:12Speaker 03

  She went upstairs and took, and then she came back downstairs. And then I went over and I said, oh, um, so I said, what, you know, did you you like the gig? And yeah, oh, you know, it was great and reminded me of my own sort of humour and it was, we were chatting away. And then she was with a big group of friends and they were out celebrating a party, someone's party. And they said, and then it was one of those moments where we're going on to this other pub. Do you want to come with us? And I said, sure. And so I tagged along and then we ended up, um, we, I I didn't, I, you know, I would stay. I I'd got sort of separated from where I was going to stay. She invited me out to a flat and I slept on the sofa. And then that next morning she made me a bit of toast and I sent her some flowers, which was a a a great decision on my part.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  Because there's this, I've always been saying all along, you are as modern as tomorrow, but there's a lot of time for yesterday.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  And flowers after the toast is a very good move.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  It was.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  And then you corresponded.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  We did.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Because the romance developed in correspondence.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  It did.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  In the old fashioned way.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  In the old fashioned way. It seems impossibly quaint really when you look at it, but um I wrote her a letter to say, oh, you know, it was lovely to meet you. And I I was living on a houseboat on the Thames at the time. And then she wrote to me and we communicated via letter for about a year without meeting. And she's a, she's a very good artist, um, Chris, and she's brilliant sort of animator. So she would animate her letters with little sort of cartoons of what she was up to. And I would write back to her what I was up to and we got to know each other via letter, which I just.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  It's a good way.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  It is a good way. I think so, because you you really get to know someone and you also, the putting pen to paper requires a bit more effort and thought. Certainly with writing.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  There's a commitment as well in writing.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  You're actually saying something, it's part of me, it's down. So eventually you get married.

• 58:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  And you've got just one child?

• 58:08Speaker 03

  One son, yeah.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  Like you're an only child, has it been disadvantage to you being an only child?

• 58:11Speaker 03

  I think so, yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Disadvantage?

• 58:14Speaker 03

  I I don't think so, no, I think it's an advantage.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  So that's why we're quite happy to have.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  And your son?

• 58:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Has an unusual name?

• 58:21Speaker 03

  Dax.

• 58:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, that, yeah.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  It's an old French name. Um, it's a sort of a a French equivalent of Jack.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  And uh, and we came across it, I don't know, we were travelling and we met someone who who had a son called Dax. And we thought, if ever we have a child.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  It'll be Dax.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  That'll be Dax.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  Have you ever had a Dax hunt?

• 58:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Because you love dogs and cats and animals, don't you?

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Yes, we do.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  You do.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  We do. We love them. We um, we have, we did have a very extensive menagerie for many years, which we've now sort of wound down a little bit. It's getting a bit out of hand.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  Good. Well, we're getting to the end, we haven't really talked about your career. Um, or indeed, well, well, well, because we, people know it, people have enjoyed it. And then people enjoyed that strange iteration of it that was Strictly Come Dancing.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Which uh was you again saying, well, why not do it?

• 59:12Speaker 03

  I know, why not?

• 59:13Speaker 02

  Surprise yourself.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  Throw throw yourself into it.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  And you're you're capable of doing something. You're capable of more than you think. And that was.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Linda Phillips?

• 59:23Speaker 03

  No truer word was spoken by Linda.

• 59:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so well, well done that triumph, you were fantastic, you were sensational, people loved you. And did it bring you a newer audience? Has it, has business grown as a consequence?

• 59:33Speaker 03

  I don't know, I I certainly think that what it did tell me was that that I it.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Lots more people than I would imagine are fans of the show. And so, but there is a, there is quite a lot of crossover between between the strictly fans and fans who go, people who go and see comedy. So that that sort of size, maybe the audience were, who who would perhaps maybe not have come before, come along a bit curious, think, oh, yeah, well, we've seen him on the. Don't dancing, we're going to see what he does.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Before I ask you the last questions, or maybe this could be one of the last questions.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  I'm going to ask about a moment of sadness in your life.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:00:10Speaker 02

  And I'm going to guess what it might be, but I may get it wrong, so you tell me, what comes into your head when I say a moment of sadness?

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  I mean, there there probably have been all manner of things, I would, I would say, losing my mother as well, that was a moment of sadness.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Because you were forty that year.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  I was, I wasn't very old, no, and uh.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  And that is young.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  It's young.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  And she was quite young.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  She was quite young, she was in her early seventies and.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  And did that throw you when you lost your mum? Sometimes people are thrown by, particularly if you're an only child.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Yes, it did, definitely did, because she was very much, she was the life and soul and she was, she, my only, I'm, what I think is. I what was, I I'm so grateful that this happened was that um Dax came along while she was still alive.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  Lovely.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  So she got to see him and spend time with him, even though he was a little toddler. But that was enough, she wanted more than anything else to be a grandmother and then that that happened. Um, but yes, I I'm, she, uh, my great regret is that she never saw Strictly. She loved dancing, she absolutely loved ballroom dancing, she watched Come Dancing when that was on, you know, she loved that. She was, she absolutely adored it. And I think more than anything, that would have been her proudest moment. Um, not, you know, not um, not performing in these big shows, not, not uh. Doing the proms, the last night of the proms, which my dad came to see, which was, which was a great moment.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  But none of those things, performing with an orchestra, she, you know, getting awards, whatever, what are, all of those things that she, that she loved. That would have been the thing that would have, she had her proudest moment. So I guess that was quite a sad moment.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  But you carried on.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  I carried on.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Though you were through thrown by it, by having Dax and by having Christian.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  You kept going and by having this work ethic that has driven you on.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  A moment of joy, what comes into your head? A moment of joy in the life of Bill Bailey. Named Bill Bailey because of your geography teacher?

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Because of my geography teacher.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Who said, won't you come home?

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  Won't you come home, Bill Bailey, you won't you come home? And everyone went, what, who's this Bill Bailey? And then that was it.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  And it stuck, yeah.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 1:02:19Speaker 02

  Okay, Mark, go on.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Mark, yes.

• 1:02:21Speaker 02

  A moment of joy.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  A moment of joy.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Can be from the Mark years, the Bill Bailey years.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  I mean, so, I think, uh, yeah, um, so probably holidays with with my mum and dad.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Um.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  In the caravan?

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  In the caravan, when we'd get caught in the rain, you know, coming back from the, from a, from a walk and it tipped down and we didn't have any. We had no waterproofs, no umbrella, nothing. And I had a little Instamatic camera and I turned the camera on my ma, on my parents and took a picture. And my mother is just, her head is just thrown back laughing. And my father is laughing because he's saying, don't take a, she's saying, what are you doing, take a picture, we're soaked. And I'm laughing, taking the picture. Those, and I, and you can see that moment is beautifully captured.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Laughing in the rain.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  What, Bill Bailey?

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  I'm going to come and see your show because I love everything you do. You are a true vaudevilleian, I can't wait to see it.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Uh, and it's on until February or something like that.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:25Speaker 02

  At one of my favourite theatres. This again epitomises you because you're a very contemporary figure.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  And yet you're going to appear in this lovely theatre, Royal Haymarket.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  Which is the oldest theatre almost in London. And it's really, yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  Ah, did that?

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  It and Drury Lane.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  And there have been different buildings in the same spot, but it's a, it's a perfect venue for for you, anyway.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Speaker 02

  That's by the by, or it's still to come. What I want to ask you is, what has life taught you? What have you learnt?

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  What have I learnt? Um, I, do you know what? I think that it's, I don't tend to dwell too much on the past. I don't really worry too much about the future, I just tend to focus on the now, what's happening, what's in front of me. And um, and just take something from every day. I mean, I, I think that you've identified something about me, which is very true, and that is I have a strong work ethic. I feel that, you know, I need to keep working, I need to keep, um, you know, figuring things out. But working is a great way to do that, you know, it occupies you, stops you getting distracted, stops you from sort of, you know.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Being too kind of self reflective, it it it it it stops you from, you know, perhaps, you know, falling into a bit of. I don't know, sometimes a despond, a slough of despond. When my, when things, when life does throw these things at you, if you keep going, just keep working, keep focusing, keep your thoughts, you know, positive. And um, that is, I think that's what I've learnt more than anything is that that that from that, lots of good things will flow. You know, you you sort of, you are, you feel like you have a purpose. Having a purpose, I think, is probably one of the greatest things.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  When when I became a father, that became, it's almost like, ah, I realise that's what I need to do now and I will focus on that. And and now I see it as my role is in another way, you know, of, I'm, you know, I I'm there. For the, as part of the family, we're we're looking after the family, looking after my dad, making sure everyone's fine. But also focusing on what I do. And I think that, I think you have to have a, you have to have a purpose, you have to be able to know, get up in the morning, think, right, okay, I have a plan and I'm going to see it through.

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  I'm so glad that you're planned today, if you did come in to see me here at Rosebud.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  Well, I'm very glad to be here.

• 1:05:52Speaker 02

  You're absolutely the best, thank you very much.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  Charles, thank you.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Thank you, Bill.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Cheers.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Wasn't that wonderful? Isn't Bill Bailey just amazing? What a man, what a role model. I mean, really, my kind of guy. I'm definitely going to go and see Vaudeville. As I mentioned, it's at the Theatre Royal Haymarket. That's in London's West End. It's on, I think, until the sixth of February. But I note evening shows eight o'clock, Wednesday and Saturday matinees three P M. And look, no shows on Mondays, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Day. I thought the man had a work ethic. The very days I was hoping to go, he's not going to be there. Never mind. He is amazing and you will enjoy it. Oh, quite soon.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Speaking of shows, Harriet and I, we are taking our show up Memory Lane, out and about on tour in 2027. I think our first date is going to be at one of my favourite theatres, the Yvonne Arno Theatre in Guildford. That's in February. But we're going off and on around the land up until September. More details of that in due course. You can always try going to our website, rosebudpodcast.co.uk, and navigate your way around it. Because within the website, you can find all the old episodes, all the past interviews, all the diary episodes, everything.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  And if you dig about a bit, you'll find a picture gallery with fun photos from our archive. And then you'll find a link to where Up Memory Lane is going to be going in 2027. Oh, and if you want to meet us, do please, if you're a family member, hooray, we'll be seeing you, I hope, on the fifth of December, here at Grosvenor House in Park Lane for our Christmas party. It's that Saturday afternoon, late afternoon, mince pies, mulled wine, crackers and music. Not Bill Bailey music, but music from Harriet and some of the friends of her friends from her choir. So there'll be some Christmas singing and I hope some fun. Anyway, be a chance to meet members of the family. That's why we're doing it. That's why we want to do it.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  If you're not a member of the family yet and would like to join, it's very simple. You go to patreon.com, P A T R E O N dot com forward slash rosebud, patreon forward slash rosebud. You find all the details there. Join the club, be a family member. You get ad free listening, an extra episode every Sunday and little extras like this party, which of course is, you'll be coming as our guests to the party on the fifth of December. If you're free, if you're a family member and if you'd like to join us. I know we've had emails from people. Somebody came in from Carlisle today saying, oh, I can't get there. It's too far. So I'm sorry about that. We just happen to be doing it in London this year. Who knows where we will be next year? But I do know we'll be in Guildford sometime in February.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  That's by the by. I really enjoyed Bill Bailey. I hope you did too. If you did, please feel free to leave a comment. On YouTube, you can leave a comment and they're always so generous and lovely. So do leave a comment if you watch on YouTube or leave a comment here, whenever you're listening. It helps spread the word. And if it's a generous comment, well, it boosts morale. And I think actually, having heard Bill Bailey, my morale does feel boosted. I generally feel better about life. You know, you can do more than you believe you can. That's what Bill taught us. Good, let's all raise our game. My thanks to Bill Bailey and to Alec Cadell, who's edited this episode,

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  and to everybody in the team, most particularly my friend and producer Harriet Jane. We will be back on Sunday, if you're a family member. And oh, next Tuesday, is it going to be another interview? Or is it going to be diaries? Well, one or the other, Harriet and I will be there then. Till next time, thanks for being part of Rosebud. Cue the music.

• 1:10:46Speaker 00

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• 1:11:14Speaker 04

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