998. Q&AF: Waiting For Recognition, Gaining Control In Business & Stuck In Life

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how big your success needs to before getting appreciated by others, how to stay in charge of your business without becoming trapped by it, and how to break out of "feeling stuck" when the path ahead feels unclear and risky.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:17Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys? It's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality, guys. Today we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. DJ, tell them how they can submit their questions.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, guys, you can email your questions into [email protected]. You can click the link in the description to submit your questions for a chance to be answered or drop them in the comments of the Q and A F videos on this feed.

• 0:48Andy Frisella?

  Now, we have made an executive decision that we are just gonna go ahead and stick with the original YouTube channel. So just letting you guys know that. So you will find the Q and A F episodes under the videos tab and you will find the CTI episodes under the live tab.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:04Andy Frisella?

  With that being said, if you are new to the show, we have shows within the show. It's not gonna be the same thing every day, okay? We have personal development and then we have society, culture and comedy. All right, we like to think it's comedy.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  Comedy to somebody.

• 1:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, if nobody else, at least to us. Okay, so Q and A's, Q and A F's typically go on Mondays and then Monday nights we have CTI, which is Cruise the Internet. This is where we talk about what's going on in society and culture. That's a live show that we do at 7:00 PM on Mondays and Thursdays. And then we have after hours, which is a 7:00 PM livestream from my cigar lounge where we just kinda hang out with you guys. So that's what we got going on. And in addition, occasionally we will have real talk. Real talk is just like a rant. It's five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have what's called 75 Hard Verses. This is where people who have completed the 75 Hard Program.

• 2:06Andy Frisella?

  Come on the show, they talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 hard program to fix their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program. The live hard program is the most popular mental transformation program in history, and it is free. You can get it at episode 208. There is also a book on this. The book is called the book on mental toughness. It's available at andyfrisella.com. It's a very popular book. Sometimes we have it, sometimes we're sold out. But if you're somebody like me that likes to know the ins and outs and dive into all the details and the whys and the hows and what is and what isn't, the book is highly recommended.

• 2:51Andy Frisella?

  Okay, you don't have to buy it, but people think it's a pretty good book. Okay. Let's see, we got a fee. Got to pay. All right, one thing about our show that we do differently than literally every other show is I don't take ads for the show. Okay, I'm not for sale. I never have been. Every single podcast that I've ever done for the last 11 years has been done on my own dollar. All right. And the reason for that is because I don't want to feel pressure from anybody about what I can and can't say. My whole thing is I'm gonna keep it real with you guys, and I don't want anybody thinking, oh, Andy's getting told to say this or that. Okay, so we don't run ads on the show, but I ask you guys, this is very important, that

• 3:36Andy Frisella?

  you do something for us. Okay? Help us grow the show. A lot of you guys love the messaging, a lot of you guys make big improvements in your lives, and we need to fix what's going on in the world, and we need more people getting better. Okay, and we need more people aware of what's going on. So, we ask very simply that if you enjoy the show, if you like the show, if it gives you new perspective, if you learn skill sets, do us a favor and share the show. That doesn't mean share the show once, that means if you listen to the show and it's good, do us a favor and share it. Okay? So don't be a hoe. Sure.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Show.

• 4:17Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  What you got on your head there?

• 4:19Andy Frisella?

  Oh, I got this, uh, I got the, the new operator hat from Operator Standard. Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  It's nice.

• 4:28Andy Frisella?

  Yep, it's cool.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  It's really.

• 4:30Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's gonna be Operator Standard exclusive, so it's not gonna be available.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Oh, man, that's good. Oh, they're gonna be hot.

• 4:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  They're gonna be hot.

• 4:36Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. But, uh, but yeah, you know, we, we, we launched Operator Standard, um, and, uh, the Operator Standard podcast, which is available in the app, it's not open to the public. We are working out, it's, it's, it's a technology, it's not a group, it's not just a podcast. And we're, we're using the early adopters, the people who jumped in in December to really plug the holes in that system. So, uh, and then we will have a big launch coming up, uh, in the next few months. So that'll be a live event. Um, it'll be streamed, you guys can find all about it, but it's gonna be really cool.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:12Andy Frisella?

  Some of the most revolutionary technology that's ever been developed.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:16Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  I'm using it for the.

• 5:17Andy Frisella?

  It's so, it's so big that I think eventually that's what people will know me for. So I think it's gonna be the biggest thing fucking ever, honestly.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:26Andy Frisella?

  So people are fucking winning too, bro.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, they are.

• 5:29Andy Frisella?

  It's awesome.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, they are.

• 5:30Andy Frisella?

  It's awesome, dude. I did a, I did a live stream in there with the, with the people the other day and like I was asking about their wins, dude, it was, it was crazy.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:40Andy Frisella?

  Like 30 pounds down, 20 pounds down, making more money, got this going on. Like it was just, it was fucking cool, man. Because like, look dude, if we're gonna fix what's going on in the world, which everybody is frustrated about, we have to build better human beings. That's the bottom line.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:58Andy Frisella?

  So you have.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  And it's easy to set that goal out there, but being able to walk it backwards, that's where I think a lot of people miss at.

• 6:04Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, you can't give away the fucking.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  The full secret there.

• 6:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, all right, no secret sauce. It's very helpful, very, very fucking helpful.

• 6:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, you're in there.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:14Andy Frisella?

  You got your little crew in there.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:16Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Free calls and everything, no, it's cool. Um, but yeah, sick, man. Well, let's, uh, let's, let's try to help some people, let's try to make some people better how we can. Guys know how this works. I got three good ones for you.

• 6:28Andy Frisella?

  All right.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:29Andy Frisella?

  Let's do it.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Uh, guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I've made some decent progress so far.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Uh, no payoffs, no massive payoffs, no big wins just yet, though. Uh, part of me feels proud and part of me wonders if I'm just settling because nothing looks impressive from the outside. How do you measure winning when no one's clapping for you? Uh, I know the horse goes before the cart, man, but how does, how big does the win needs to be before you get the claps?

• 7:01Andy Frisella?

  Well, if you're doing it for the claps, you're doing it for the wrong reason. Okay. Because let me tell you a little secret. Right now you're looking for people to celebrate winning and unfortunately in the culture that we live in, people will pretend to celebrate winning and then feel jealous and spiteful and bitter and frustrated about their own lives. So what will happen and everybody needs to just accept that this is the reality. You will get to a point where your success is recognized, but once you get to that point, people do not clap the way that you expect them to. Okay. And if you're doing everything that you're doing for the admiration or the validation externally,

• 7:46Andy Frisella?

  you need to realign and think about why you're doing it because building something is a lonely process, especially in the beginning. But I'm telling you, none of you, this man or woman or anybody else needs any fucking validation from the outside world. And to expect it is a false expectation that creates this, this extra weight that you have to carry that you don't need to carry.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  There's other shit to carry.

• 8:16Andy Frisella?

  That's right. It's going to be hard enough, dude. So you, you have to understand most of your outcome comes for, I would say 98% of your outcome comes from you controlling the things that you can at such a level that the 2% of the time that it's not in your control, the people who are quote unquote, they have the connections or they have the gatekeeping or they've built something that you guys all want to be at those tables. Everybody's worried about networking. You don't understand that unless you are controlling the things that you could control at the highest level possible, those people won't even have the conversation to bring you to the table because they see the holes in your game. So.

• 9:01Andy Frisella?

  When I say 98% of it, it's really 100%, okay? Because once you become that person, the other people that are like that recognize that because it's so rare that they start asking you to come to the things and go on this trip and come to this meeting, or I got this opportunity. And that's where things start to materialize. And when that happens, you create a whole new network of people that think nothing like the people that you came from, who are there to not instill doubt in you anymore. Now they're gassing you up. Now they're saying, hey, man, you're a fucking stud, bro. You just gotta keep going. You gotta keep moving down.

• 9:44Andy Frisella?

  And they start to mentor you and they start to help and they start to push you forward. And that's where you want to be. You want to be surrounded by people who are going to help you win. And those people that you knew from back in the day, from high school or college that are living completely different lives, you can't expect them to even understand why you want what you want because they are perfectly fine where they are. That does not make them bad people. That makes them on a different journey than you're on. Okay? So you can maintain relationships with people from the past. You can still have friends. You can still have family. You can still have all that shit.

• 10:27Andy Frisella?

  But you can't get them to understand something that they've never even thought about. Okay? These people have never thought about what they are actually capable of. They have never thought about actually wanting more. They look at success as this thing that's out there that is reserved for certain people. And they believe in their heart that they are not one of those people, which means they will never become one of those people. But I am here to tell you that that is not the truth. The truth is, you've got to become that person first and then you get your way into the door. The doors start to open. So in between those two things, you know, I call that no man's land, right? In the beginning of your journey, you're surrounded by, let's say you're 20 years

• 11:12Andy Frisella?

  old, okay? You're surrounded by your high school buddies and maybe some college friends and some people that you've known your whole life. And

• 11:21Andy Frisella?

  That's comfortable, alright, but the minute that you start to say, I'm going to go do this, or I'm gonna be this, or I have these dreams, that's where the chirping starts. That's where the doubt is seated. That's where it appears like they're caring, but they're not actually caring. They're trying to keep you in the circle. And when you start to move out, that's why they say shit like, who the fuck does Andy think he is? You know, he thinks he's better than everybody. No, I don't think I'm better than everybody. I think I want better for myself, and you're interpreting it that way. So we have to understand what we're dealing with here. And it's, it's, it's, it's just a part of the process, dude. It's like breathing the air.

• 12:07Andy Frisella?

  Having people chirp, having people talk shit, having people not like you, having people, you know, that you used to know, now, you know, wanna see you. That is normal shit. That is normal shit. That every single person who's ever built anything, deals with that. All of them. And if you can't get through that, you don't have what the fuck it takes. So you gotta understand, dude, it's a requirement. It's like, it's literally like,

• 12:38Andy Frisella?

  hey Steve, here's the path, come with me. Oh man, there's that one part there and it looks really tough. How could, you know, I don't know if I wanna go through it. Okay, well, you're not gonna get over here then. Like, there's no other path. You gotta go through it. So you guys who are young, you have to understand this is part of the process. But I'm telling you as someone who's been through that process, that continues to go through that process, because it never stops. Because once you outgrow that next group of friends in the middle area, and that next group of friends in the next middle area, and you're moving your way up as long as you go, it's always the same behavior. The minute you start to escalate from the successful group, the same shit starts to happen in a different way.

• 13:21Andy Frisella?

  So you have to be okay with other people having opinions that you don't think are good, but they have them. Okay, and this is why, like, when you guys watch me on CTI, or, you know, you, you, you say, like, people say, I don't care, bro. You don't have to agree. I don't give a shit if you agree with me. That's, this is my shit. This is what I think. This is what I know. This is what I'm seeing. And if you see it a different way, cool. Yeah. And like legitimately. I don't care. And in the beginning, you care a lot because you don't understand it. But that's a useful thing. We have to learn to use that because there's way more negativity out here than there is positivity. And if you lack the ability to take the negativity

• 14:06Andy Frisella?

  and turn it into productive action, then you lack an essential tool that is that is required for success. So your job in this part of the phase is to take all the shit that people say, all the doubt, all the shit talking, all the things they say, and fucking remember it. Build a massive chip on your shoulder. And then when you feel lazy, or you don't feel like doing it, or you don't feel like, you know, this is the right path, you think back on all the shit people said, you say, fuck them, I'm fucking doing it. Okay. So it's a useful thing, but you gotta learn to use it. And when you get to that point, like you're in the upper levels, you don't hear it as much. But when you do hear

• 14:49Andy Frisella?

  it, you're conditioned to use it. So it's always useful for people to hate. It's always useful for people to talk shit. It's always useful for people to say you can't do shit if you know how to use it properly. And using it properly is a requirement for success, regardless of what any other fucking feel-good guru motherfuckers on the internet say. Negative energy is far more powerful for progress than positive energy. You will move faster away from you don't want than towards what you want. That's the reality. You will move faster away from pain than you will towards pleasure. That's a normal thing for human

• 15:30Andy Frisella?

  beings. So if you learn how to use it, you accept the game for what it is, it becomes irrelevant. But you gotta understand, dude, you gotta go through it. It's required. So your expectation of

• 15:47Andy Frisella?

  You know, people are gonna clap and cheer and, bro, they're not. They're just fucking not. They're until it's so undeniable and it's so obvious that you're a fucking winner and anything you say and do is going to fucking happen. Bro, to the, to this day, okay, I've been winning for twenty fucking seven years. All right. To this fucking day, when I say, oh, I'm gonna do this, there's still people that are like, I don't know.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  I don't know about that one.

• 16:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and I'm thankful for those people.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:15Andy Frisella?

  I like it. Okay, because I bank that shit. I'm like, all right, we'll see, motherfucker. We'll see, I'm gonna make you eat that shit. Okay, and, and that's how it works.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:26Andy Frisella?

  So, um.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  I, I feel like you, you speak a lot too on like, you know, how important it is having awareness as an individual, right? Like, being able to like truly just look, where are you? You understand, what are you actually doing, right? And I, and I bring that up because I feel like with the validation thing, it's like, so you, you're telling me like you need other people clapping for you, telling you that you're doing it the right way? Like, can't you just look at your shit and tell yourself if you're doing it the right way?

• 16:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying?

• 16:53Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Isn't there awareness to this?

• 16:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah, for sure, man. But, you know, I think the last twenty-five years of everybody getting a trophy for every little thing and everybody getting a celebrated for fucking, you know, doing shit that they're supposed to do every day, anyway, has changed the perspective with a lot of people.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:15Andy Frisella?

  So like, when they work hard for a week, they wanna be like, I worked hard this week. Well, fuck, welcome to the club.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 17:22Andy Frisella?

  That's what the fuck we do.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Right, where's my pizza party?

• 17:24Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like, I worked hard for five years. Yeah, nobody cares.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:28Andy Frisella?

  Here, here's what you gotta understand. Bottom line, here's the bottom line. You ready? Nobody fucking cares. You care. Just because you care doesn't mean they care. Okay? Nobody fucking cares. They got their own shit going on, they got their own drama going on, they got their own lives going on. You might be a comment and they might say something and, and two seconds later, they're worried about something else.

• 17:57Andy Frisella?

  They don't care. No one cares. And they don't care about you. You think that people care about you. They don't fucking care about you. They care about themselves. They care about themselves. That goes for every fucking person on the planet. Okay? I'm not saying your mom doesn't love you.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 18:13Andy Frisella?

  I'm not saying your dad doesn't love you. I'm not saying your brother doesn't love you. But I am saying outside of that, nobody gives a fuck. And the harsh reality of the world is this. People really only care about things that benefit them. And until you become someone to where your mere existence is benefiting thousands of people,

• 18:36Andy Frisella?

  nobody cares. And by the way, the minute that stops, no one cares again.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  They stop caring again.

• 18:40Andy Frisella?

  Okay? And that's reality. And people will say shit like this. So you're saying that all people only care if you, if you're successful? Yes.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:48Andy Frisella?

  That's what I'm saying. Okay? Uh, but it opens your options for life. Okay? It opens your options in, in, into, you know, furthering your ability to take care of the people that you love. It opens your options for your future mate. It opens the options for you to have the choice of how you want to live your life. And the reality is,

• 19:09Andy Frisella?

  you either want it or you don't. Okay? So, you know, you gotta accept the cost upfront, bro. You gotta understand, like, this is the way it is. This is what I'm prepared to do. And I'm gonna do those things, you know?

• 19:24Speaker 01

  That's real, dude. That's real, man. Let's get to, uh, let's get to question number two. Uh, Andy, uh, Andy, I started my business because I hated feeling controlled. But now it feels like the business controls me.

• 19:38Andy Frisella?

  Correct.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  I'm reacting all day instead of leading and every problem feels urgent. How do you get back into the driver's seat, uh, when the thing you built starts running you?

• 19:48Andy Frisella?

  Well, oh man, that well, look dude, um, that's the big misconception about owning a company or, or starting a business or being an entrepreneur. You know, like this saying that people say, oh man, I want the freedom to be an entrepreneur. What the fuck are you talking about? To make my own schedule. There's no fucking freedom in entrepreneurship until maybe you've sold your business, or maybe you've made it to such a point that you can hire people to, to potentially run it for you, and even that is not really that real. If you really want to make it. So this idea of starting a company or a business for the idea of freedom is not a real thing. So again, you've got to accept the reality upfront.

• 20:31Andy Frisella?

  You're not getting more freedom, you're trading one kind of control for another kind of control. You're trading the ability to make, uh, the ability to not make the decisions for your own existence, for the ability to make your decisions for your own existence, but that's not actually freedom. You just answer to different people. Okay. Now, instead of answering to your boss, you're answering to your customers. Now, instead of, uh, you know, answering to, uh, a company, you're answering to your team. Right. All right. So this is a different, it's just a different thing. You're trading one sort of control for another. And yes, it provides certain decisions, certain luxuries, cer- certain outcomes that you

• 21:16Andy Frisella?

  wouldn't be able to have working in this first time, but those only come after years and years and years. Right? Yeah. So this idea that you're going to be freer, i- is not a real thing. All right. So that's the first thing you've got to understand. In order of like getting back into control, this is about understanding what drives the business forward and letting the other shit, taking the other shit off the table. Okay? Motion comes not from adding more, but some subtracting things that don't move the needle. So what are the things that you're doing every day that you think are urgent because

• 21:59Andy Frisella?

  you're hyper vigilant about winning, but won't actually?

• 22:04Andy Frisella?

  Move the needle forward and you've got to become very discerning at where you spend your time because we only have a certain amount of time and we only have a certain amount of capacity to make the decisions and you want to spend that time and those decisions and your energy when it's fresh on the things that matter most. So this is that I, this is prioritization, okay? What's critical and what is not critical? What is going to move the needle forward today and then the fires get priority after that. Now, if the fire's big enough and it's going to derail the business, then that would become a higher priority type of situation, right? But go, you learn this instinctually, um, through the experience

• 22:48Andy Frisella?

  of going down the path. You know, back when I was early in business, you know, I can relate to this question because things would happen and I'd be like, oh, fuck, the world's gonna fuck crash. Yeah, everything's a problem. Right. And, and dude, that's hard. Okay. And by the way, in the beginning, things are much more critical because you don't have the momentum moving forward. So when you're in that beginning, middle phase, it's very hard to identify the difference because everything feels critical. And I think that's a good thing. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it's a great thing to be hyper vigilant about your business because everybody else is and that's who you're competing against. All right. No, nobody that's winning is casual.

• 23:30Andy Frisella?

  Nobody that's winning is taking it easy. Nobody that's winning is like saying, oh, well, that doesn't really matter. No, they have the same attitude you have, but they understand how to prioritize those situations into what continues to move us versus what needs to be addressed now. So you, you will learn this as you go and it will become much easier for you to deal with. Like for me, at this point in my life, I have my critical tasks that move the business forward or move my my initiatives forward. It might be for this or it might be for something else I've got going on. But then I have my firefighters, okay?

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 24:08Andy Frisella?

  And that that is all day, every day. Okay, so in between my critical things that are moving forward, I am addressing these things that are going on throughout the day. And obviously, I have teams and people around which allow that to happen quickly.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:25Andy Frisella?

  To solve problems quickly, but at the end of the day, man, um, you know, you you have to just continue to go and learn how to prioritize things that are going to move you forward versus things that aren't the end of the world right now.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 24:41Andy Frisella?

  Okay, but those things still have to be addressed because if you allow them to grow and spread, they can be the end of the world.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  I would do that was going to be my follow up, bro. Like, how many, how many, how many times have you seen people just simply because of delaying addressing something?

• 24:53Andy Frisella?

  It happens all the time.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Ruins everything.

• 24:55Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it happens all the time.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  You know, and it could be, it could start off as so fucking small.

• 24:59Andy Frisella?

  Lack of urgency, like, everybody talks about, oh, fucking hustle culture and this and that and this, bro, those people lose. Those people all lose, all of them. They don't get it. Not, nobody says anything about that that's actually built something. Or if they have, they've exited that company and they've forgotten what it's like to run it.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Rebranded themselves as this.

• 25:20Andy Frisella?

  No, I'm not even saying that. When you get out of the fucking fight.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:24Andy Frisella?

  It, you start to like, think differently and you, you think you're still thinking like you used to, but you're not.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 25:30Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so this idea that you hear on the internet, you know, about urgency being a bad thing, or hypervigilance being a bad thing, or not, uh, you know, being less urgent.

• 25:46Andy Frisella?

  And people knocking that shit, bro, listen, none of those people have built a real business. They might, they might be a fuck, they might be building a coaching business off of a bunch of people that are never gonna win. And victimizing them and telling them, oh, take it easy and you'll win, but they ain't gonna fucking win either. Okay, so you gotta understand, dude, this is what the fuck it takes. It takes that. So when you hear like all these do-gooders and these fucking fluffy, nice things on the internet, you gotta realize that's for other people, bro. You're here to fucking win. You're here to build, you're here to create, you're here to become. And if that's a serious thing for you and that's seriously what you want, you are entering into the most vicious competition that exists on the fucking planet.

• 26:26Andy Frisella?

  More than fucking baseball, more than football, more than MMA, and it also is the longest, it lasts your whole life. Okay, so you are voluntarily entering into a competition with other people that are willing to fucking die. In order to win. And if you don't have that fucking in you, you're gonna lose. That is how fucking competition works. So if you're one of these people that's like, man, I think I wanna start a business cuz it's, I get more freedom and this and that and this and la la la la. Bro, don't. You'll get killed. You'll get sma- it'll ruin your life. It'll ruin your fucking life.

• 27:05Andy Frisella?

  Because you'll leave your life now, you'll get into this, and you'll get fucking destroyed, you'll spend all your money and you'll be fucking broke. And you won't know what to do. So I'm just being real with you guys. If you think that this is anything other than a fucking gauntlet that you're going to run down your entire life in order to create a different sort of existence for yourself, and you're willing to go to fucking battle every single motherfucking day for the next 20 fucking years at a minimum, if you can't do that, you shouldn't do it. You should not do it. You will get fucking crushed. Now, you might be able to be one of these internet scammers and come up with some sort of bullshit in the meantime and make a little mo-

• 27:47Andy Frisella?

  I'm talking about building something fucking real. I'm talking about real company. I'm not talking about a fucking hustle. Get it?

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 27:54Andy Frisella?

  You have to do it. You have to do it. It's required. There's other people doing what you do that will eat your fucking food right off of your table and laugh. You don't understand that.

• 28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:03Andy Frisella?

  People don't understand that. Like, it's vicious, bro. Now, I'm not saying you should be vicious. You can become very successful by being great at what you do and being a good person, but you gotta be prepared for what it's gonna take.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  You can be naive to the reality of it, yeah. Let me ask you this, cuz I feel like this would also be something that like, somebody would wanna try to do like, alleviate these problems by making somebody else or designating somebody else to go handle the bullshit, right?

• 28:31Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, obviously.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  But like, how important it is, is it, I guess, learning those lessons of, you know, figuring out if this problem big, rather than just passing it off and delegating it to one of your, you know, employees or something?

• 28:43Andy Frisella?

  What do you mean?

• 28:44Speaker 01

  So like, you got the problems coming up, you feel like you're out of, out of control, right? All this shit, you have an employee who's really good, just, hey, you go handle that and just put it all off on them.

• 28:54Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, you're missing all the lessons that you're supposed to be learning by handling it.

• 28:58Andy Frisella?

  Well, I mean, look.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  At what point do you, you assign little firefighters?

• 29:01Andy Frisella?

  Well, first of all,

• 29:04Andy Frisella?

  if you're actually the kinda person that's going to win, other winners will be attracted to you. People who are also willing to go down that path with you. But those winners, and this is the fucking mistake people make, there are fucking savages that are not entrepreneurs. Not every savage becomes an entrepreneur. There are tons of savages that work within the framework of, of another company. Those people, the people that you're asking about, will only work with the, the former that I described, because they want to fucking win too. And they're not going to attach all of their effort, all of their life, all of their shit, to someone who's casual about it. It's not gonna happen, okay?

• 29:49Andy Frisella?

  So in order to even have the kinda person that you can hand things off to and have it fixed, you have to be that same kinda person. Otherwise, you end up with some, a bunch of incompetent dumbasses that, you know, don't really give a shit, cuz let's be real, dude, what's the workforce made of, of, okay? Our workforce here, because we have stringent cultural standards that we have abided by for a long time. We are fucking savages, everybody in this motherfucking building, okay?

• 30:23Andy Frisella?

  Normal culture, what is it? It's fucking people who have low standards. Nine five. It's not, the attitude is, I'm not doing that fucking, it's 501. Right. Right? Right. Uh, you know, I'm not doing, they're not paying me for that, da, da, da, da, da. And then you wonder why, you know, they're a hundred pounds overweight. And the biggest excitement of their entire life is when they throw a fucking pizza party. And, and, and the corporate office and it's fucking Karen's birthday. Yeah, right. It's fucking Karen's birthday. Who's got the doughnuts? Everybody, we got fucking cake. Oh, you got cake? Okay, I'll be there. Yeah. Right? I was gonna start my diet today, but, ah, well, you know. Monday. Yeah, right. Like, it's loser shit, bro. Yeah.

• 31:05Andy Frisella?

  So you gotta understand that most people out there, they don't wanna, they're not trying to achieve the highest fucking standard for themselves. They're trying to get paid so they can buy their shit. And then ironically, those same people who have very low standards, blame the company for not paying them enough because they don't fucking provide any real value. Okay, but again, that usually comes from the leader. If you go into a company where you see the people I'm describing and then look at their leader, their leader usually looks the same. Mm-hmm. They usually act the same. They usually talk the same. They usually get extra excited about the cake. Yeah, right. Okay? These are losers. They will lose.

• 31:47Andy Frisella?

  That, I'm not saying these are losers like they're bad people. I'm saying factually, they are going to lose over and over and over and over and over. That's just reality, dude. So you gotta ask yourself, what are you actually trying to do? What are you actually willing to do to get there? And if you buy all the way in, you will attract other people that are willing to go down that path with you. Okay? When you do that, those people are more than willing to step in and help. And they will help you with the fires and they will help you with the minutia and they will help you with the shit. But that's never in the beginning, bro. That's only after you've proven yourself to be battle tested to where you're gonna go through the fucking gauntlet

• 32:32Andy Frisella?

  and other people are gonna say, goddamn, that's tough motherfucker. I'm a fucking, I'm gonna hitch my wagon to that motherfucker. Okay, because you're asking them to trade their life for your fucking mission. Do you understand that? People spend more life and work than they do at any other place. Okay, if you don't have a fucking worthy mission, if you don't have a a mission that's big enough, that means something, that allows them to cultivate all of their desires and all of their dreams and all of the things that they want to become inside of that,

• 33:08Andy Frisella?

  you can't do it. Okay, the days of recruiting high talent to to to to build a fucking, you know, landscape company that has no ambition to grow and they're just gonna stay the same, that doesn't happen, dude. The winners don't go there. Okay, it's just, it's like college football. I always bring it back to this. The real, where do the real winners want to play? They want to play places that are fucking proven to win. They get the best talent. They get the best recruits. Same for your fucking. The best shit, the uniforms. It's the same, yeah, that comes later, though. Okay?

• 33:43Andy Frisella?

  When you are, when you're not that kind of a person, you know, I'll play at a community college. I'll play D3. It's cool. I like the game. Right? Those motherfuckers at Alabama or Indiana, they ain't playing for the fucking love of the game. They're playing to fucking win. Okay? And there is a big difference. I'm not saying you can't build a small company that could provide, but if you do build a small company and you keep it small, you're gonna have massive turnover over and over and over and over again, and you're never gonna have real killers want to work for you because there's no fucking outside for them. Like, why the fuck would a real killer work for someone who's happy where they are? They fucking won't. It doesn't work that way.

• 34:25Andy Frisella?

  So you have to be committed and the vision has to be big and it has to be big enough to where they can provide for their families the way they want to inside of that. Okay? I I could have stopped my company 15 fucking years ago. Okay, but.

• 34:44Andy Frisella?

  If I did that, I would not have the great people around me. I would not have all these young people who have come in, learned all these skillsets. And by the way, some of them moved on to other things and they've become successful in other ways. All right. But if you stop and you just say, oh, I just want enough for a bass boat and a fucking this or that, bro.

• 35:07Andy Frisella?

  You're, you're setting yourself up

• 35:10Andy Frisella?

  to get your fucking ass beat worse than if you went for the big vision. Does that make sense? Because now you're dealing with fires all the time. Now you're dealing with disgruntled people all the time. Now you're having people come in and be like, oh, this sucks and quit. Now you have more headaches. When you have a big fucking vision and people can clearly see that you are very intent on accomplishing that vision, the, the great people come to you, bro. They come, they'll, they'll fucking, they'll come from other, dude, we got people here that, that are from fucking Europe that have moved here to work here.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:46Andy Frisella?

  You understand?

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 35:48Andy Frisella?

  Right?

• 35:48Speaker 01

  It's not crazy, but it's

• 35:50Andy Frisella?

  No, because the fucking mission is worthy and it's big and people want to be a part of shit like that.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:56Andy Frisella?

  So, and you could do that in any company, dude. You can set, you, you've just got to fucking think about it. You know what I mean?

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. I love it, man. Well, we got one more for the people. Andy, guys, question three. Andy, I don't even know how to word this, right? But I feel stuck in a life I chose. No one forced me into it. I'm 32 years old. I'm single, no kids. I do have a really good career that I love. I'm not miserable. Just boxed in. Responsibility stack up and it feels like there's no room left to change direction without screwing everything up. So how do you make a move when nothing feels safer, uh, but staying put feels even worse?

• 36:42Andy Frisella?

  What kind of responsibilities could you have at 32 years old with no kids? You're as free as you're ever gonna be, brother. The moves you need to make are gonna be, like, right now is the time to make them. If you're gonna make them. Yeah. Okay? Um, and very simply, you have to ask yourself, and you already answered it.

• 37:02Andy Frisella?

  Is it worse staying where you are? Or is it worse going down the path to get where you want to be? And I think you already answered the question. You said, "I feel boxed in. I don't like where I'm at."

• 37:18Andy Frisella?

  "I don't like what I've got." Well, I could promise you, if you stay there, it's only going to get worse. You know, and this comes down to how people evaluate risk. Right? Yeah. Most people evaluate risk from, you know, "What if I do this? And this happens, and this happens, and this happens, and this happens." Instead of the proper way of evaluating risk, which is, "What happens if I don't? What happens if I don't?" You already know what happens if you don't, because you're fucking living in it, and you fucking hate it. So, you answer your own question, bro, and to be completely honest with you, the fact that you're not married, the fact that you don't have kids, bro, you think, you, you think you've got responsibility now? Yeah. Go get fucking married and have some kids, and then feel how fucking trapped you're gonna feel in a place that you can't escape. Hmm.

• 38:03Andy Frisella?

  Okay? So you're in the perfect position to pivot to who you want to become, what kind of life you want to live, and, and, you know, a lot of people that are 32 say, "Oh, I'm fucking 32, bro, you're still a fucking kid." You're still a kid. Mm-hmm.

• 38:19Andy Frisella?

  You know, I, I, to me, the question's answered in, in the question. I mean, this guy already knows. You, you just want to hear it. Here's the answer. Go fucking do it, or you're gonna regret it your whole fucking life. And it's gonna get worse. Wherever you're at, if you don't take action forward, it's not going to maintain. Because everybody else is moving forward. Society is moving forward.

• 38:43Andy Frisella?

  If you try to stay where you are, you're automatically going backwards by default. Because everything's moving forward. So the key is you have to move forward faster than everybody else. So the truth of the matter is for this dude is, uh, yeah, if you stay where you are, you're gonna hate your fucking life forever.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:01Andy Frisella?

  So you better do it.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a pretty simple one there, dude.

• 39:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, he answered the question in the question. You know, he already knows. You already know. You already know. You guys all know. Like, what the fuck are you listening to me for? You all fucking know. You know that your life sucks right now. You know that things need to change. Go change them. You are in control of those things. You are in control of all the things that create the outcome. Not someone else, not magic, not the president, not your fucking mom, not the kids from high school. None of that shit matters, bro. It's simple inputs and outputs. What actions are you taking to create the result? And if you take enough actions over the course of time, the result changes.

• 39:47Andy Frisella?

  And things get better. And that is fucking it, man. It's not, this is not hard. It's, it's not hard to understand. It's hard to do. And a lot of you guys ask questions because you're trying to ask for a hack around the hard. Well, I'm sorry, dude. I don't have one. Okay, now maybe all these other smart people who have built real things in real life, uh, you know, that you see on the internet offering advice for fucking free. You know, maybe they know a way to hack around, but, uh, you know, I would highly consider looking at their actual uh, results and how they actually make money because right now we are inundated with a bunch of people that make money by selling people on ideas of how to make money, and they never made money any other way.

• 40:31Andy Frisella?

  Okay, and I'm telling you as someone who's built multiple things in real life, and I'm talking about things that exist, things with employees, products that ship, okay? In many different industries, I'm just fucking telling you, there is no hack. It's a long journey. You have to go through it every single day. You need to win every single day along the way. And eventually, your external reality starts to materialize. Okay, and a lot of people don't even understand that. They don't understand that to change your identity of who you are.

• 41:03Andy Frisella?

  It is very simple. You just gotta make a decision. Alright? The life that you're living in right now, when you look around and you see like the house you're living in, or the apartment, or the car you're driving, all of that shit was dictated. And by the way, this goes if you're winning too. If you're winning and you're looking around, you're like, "Man, I got a nice car, a fucking nice house, I'm winning", right? This is not just for people that are losing. Whatever you're living in, your physical reality right now, was created by a past version of you. Okay? Today, whether you're winning or losing, you have the opportunity to say, "I want to do this. I want to become this. I want to take this further. I want to do these things. I want to become this kind of person. I don't want to be fat anymore. I want to be fit.

• 41:45Andy Frisella?

  I don't want to be broke anymore. I want to make money. I don't want to be a dumbass anymore. I want to get educated." That's a decision, okay? And then all you have to do is model the behavior of the people that fucking do those things, and eventually your external reality materializes to look similar to theirs. So, this is not magic, bro. And this is the thing. People think this is magic, or it's luck, or it's circumstance, or it's this, or it's that, because that's all they've ever heard from all the people around them their whole lives. How many of you have seen someone who's successful, who's driving a nice car, who's got their shit together, who's built a nice company, or whatever, and you're like, "Man, that's pretty cool",

• 42:28Andy Frisella?

  and then you have a friend, or a parent, or somebody that you hang out with, be like, "Yeah, but fuck dude, uh, you know, that guy fucked everybody over along the way. I'm not willing to do that because I'm real." No, you're a bitch, okay? You're hiding behind your own preconceived, which are inaccurate, assumptions about anybody who's built anything. Because I'm gonna tell you something, in today's world, the way that word of mouth spreads, you have to have integrity. You have to provide real value. You have to be the real deal to even win. Otherwise, you get found out on the internet, and your shit goes away, and your reputation's ruined, and you can't do shit. All these motherfucking coach-coaches, I coach-coaches, the coach-coaches, the coach-coaches,

• 43:12Andy Frisella?

  they're learning that lesson very fucking hard right now.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:15Andy Frisella?

  Okay? So-

• 43:19Andy Frisella?

  It's a long game. You have a choice right now to decide that you want different and all you have to do is behave differently from here on out. It's, it's not magical. It's just fucking hard. Okay. And if you're willing to gut through the hard, it will become easy. Just like when you get into a cold swimming pool and you're like, the first, you know, you guys are all into cold plunges. The first time you do a cold plunge, you're like, fuck. You know, but after like six or seven days, you're like, mm, this sucks. And then after like a month, you're, you just get right in and it's normal. Okay. That's the same way this works. You were at the beginning. You start to move. It's very hard.

• 44:04Andy Frisella?

  Then it just becomes your life. It's no longer hard. You acclimate to it. Like when I wake up, it's like, dude, I have a big life, man. Like I have a lot of responsibility. I have a lot of projects going. I have a lot of shit that I have to do. Okay. I don't wake up every day and, and think,

• 44:24Andy Frisella?

  fuck, this is so hard. I, I, now some days I might wake up and say, I don't feel like doing that today. But it's not really hard. Like it's just shit I gotta do.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 44:35Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't,

• 44:39Andy Frisella?

  you, you get acclimated to it, guys, and that's what you gotta understand. And the reason that you don't understand is because you haven't been doing it long enough. Eventually you get used to it and it becomes just your, your standards. And that, and, and the cool thing is, is that when you model winning for long enough, you know, eventually you're not chasing winning anymore. Winning is just what the fuck you do. That's who you are. So when it becomes that, winning isn't even hard. It's just what the fuck you do. You see what I'm saying?

• 45:08Speaker 01

  Absolutely, dude. Absolutely, man. Guys, Andy, that was three.

• 45:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 45:13Speaker 01

  That was three, big dog.

• 45:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  We got a special guest tonight.

• 45:16Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah, we do. Join us 7 PM Central tonight for CTI Live and, uh, we will see you there. All right. Don't be a hoe.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Show the show.