14127 Steve Harper Interviews Sherri Ann Alexandrovich Owner of New Beginnings Wellness Center

Broadcasting from the business capital of the world, this is the Podcast Business News Network.

And welcome back everyone. Today, we are going to help you find the light when you're faced with adversity. It's going to happen, if not already. You've got some major things going on. You just couldn't believe that this might transpire. It's kind of squashed you down. Maybe you've crawled into that tunnel for just a moment and you're just trying to find your way out. You're trying to find the light after something major happens or just changes in your life. We're gonna, we're gonna find it for you and show you the way out. And she does this for many people, her and her team, wonderful mental health facility in Massachusetts called New Beginnings.

And she is our Diamond of the Decade for Reason, Sherry Ann Alexandrovich, joins us once again on the program. How are you doing today?

I'm doing fabulous. How about yourself?

Ready to dish out a dose of reality because yeah, we ride on the positive rail. However, there's going to be times where life isn't going to be as easy as you expected it to be. It's going to throw you that curve. You gotta find the positivity. Otherwise, there's no other way. But how do we find it? How do we more easily find it and then move our lives forward after something sets us back? What do you think would be the starting point when you presented with something major?

So I think that whenever life throws us any sort of obstacles, whether they are ones that we've initiated or ones that we've just been the receiver of, sometimes it just knocks the window, right? And it sends us for a loop. And I think it's really important in those moments to just take a minute to process that, to allow ourselves to have. Feel the pain, feel the change, feel the uncertainty, feel the disconnect, feel whatever it is that's coming up because when we, when we are always moving forward without taking a moment to pause, without taking a moment to really look at what it is that, that we've been presented with, or whether, whether, what it is that we've initiated,

then we don't really take the time to heal. And it's really hard in those really dark dreadful moments to find the positivity or to find the light when we don't really take the time to process and heal from that. So I think, you know, step one, because we all get stuff thrown at us, is really just to take a moment to really acknowledge how awful it is. And I don't think that people really talk about that very often. We're always talking about what are our next steps? How do we be positive? How do we move forward? What are our coping skills? But how about the moments that really are so dark and so dreadful that it's really hard to get out of? And what do we do in those moments? What do we do when we're having a panic attack? Or we're feeling really crippled by whatever life has thrown at us?

And, and so I think that with 2026, even though it's a year of change, right? And it's supposed to be all of these new beginnings and these new fresh starts and, and all of astrology and the universe kind of talks about that. But what it doesn't talk about is when we're coming out of a year like 2025, all of this change has to, it sends some sort of dysregulation within us. Because yes, we have all these wonderful things that we're moving towards in 2026, all of these great new things that happen. Well, what do we do with the things that have ended? Or what do we do with the things that are still kind of trickling into 2026? And keeping in mind that in order to start a new beginning, we have to shut a door.

And what does that door look like when we shut it? And have we processed everything that's behind that door before we shut it?

Dose of reality, because as I understand it and experience it, you have to go through it. You can't keep denying it. You know, so many of us, I don't want to, I don't want to feel the tears. Well, they're there for a reason. It's cleansing you, even chemically, to even cry, just to move, move things forward. You got to move through it. And it's so funny, I only discovered recently, you know, they talk about going to the gym. Yes, it's good for fitness, releases chemicals, et cetera. But as I understand it now, it also moves energy within your body and all that stuff you're holding and that negativity, it can help support that just by being active. It's more than just, you know, being in shape

or working on your health. There's a lot more going on there. And that's just one aspect of all of this, right?

Well, it changes the serotonin in our brains and it changes everything about us, how we're genetically made up as well, because we're, we're releasing the endorphins and we're cleansing ourselves and we're putting our mind, body, physically, emotionally, spiritually in just a better place. And so there are just so many benefits to go into the gym and to working out, or even to using other coping skills like deep breathing. I mean, I know that it seems to be a standard response, right? Take a deep breath, take a deep breath. But I wonder if anyone's really actually thought about what that does for you. So when you take a deep breath and you kind of like, if you really just envision what that's like, and you take the deep breath in, and you hold it for as long as you can, and when

you get to that point where you, you feel like you've maximized all of the air in your, in your lungs, you take an additional breath and you just kind of like suck it in, just that extra, just really kind of helps to just restore things a little bit differently. And then similarly, when you're exhaling, and when you get to the end, you just do that extra kind of push out that really just kind of helps to just cleanse things on the other end of things. And, and for me, I know that that really helps. And when I'm doing any sort of deep breathing, when I'm trying to re-regulate myself, or if I'm having Kind of a panic attack or I'm feeling like, you know, my chest is feeling really tight.

I just, I close my eyes and I just envision like a balloon and, and I just expand my abdomen as, as far as it can go and feel it stretch. And in that moment is where I really kind of take that moment to just release. And really just focus on what that stuff looks like. And, and breath is really, it's important, it's super powerful. And I think people minimize its impact and, and it sounds so simple, but yet it's so impactful.

Well, when you take a look at what's going on there, you're taking a cleansing breath. And when you release, you're letting go of energy, all of that within you. And just try it and you might realize very quickly, or you will, that I feel better. Is it in my head? No, you are, you are feeling better. Just by that one simple thing, scientifically proven, by the way, I'm just saying.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And, and when you take that additional, like, you take your breath in, if you take that additional breath in, and then when you release it, if you take that additional breath out, just I would encourage everyone to try that. It's just like a kind of an added element to the deep breathing in and the deep breathing out, because it definitely unquestionably makes a difference in how you feel when you're done with those particular breathing exercises.

Hmm. Now, we're, we're being realistic here. This isn't just the rose colored glasses, some stuff is presented, oh, look on the bright side. We're not saying that, but I found it's all about finding. So finding faith, I'm not just talking about religion, or I'm not talking about religion at all. Finding faith in the universe, faith in yourself, that word finding again, finding a glimmer, those little things, I call them glimmers. I guess maybe it came from glimmer of hope, those little things that are floating out there that can reframe a negative situation a little bit better. The tiniest little thing I've found, oh, wow, you know, that's.

I'm doing that later today. That's actually gonna be fun. And it could be anything. It could be going to a store. It's like, I'm looking forward to that. A little, little something like a little something, you know, that the perk things up for, for that moment. But when you start adding them up, you know, things get a little bit better. And it's just a, it's almost just like a little fuel, positive fuel to move you a little, little forward.

Right. Well, I think finding what your purpose is, and that's different for everybody. We all get up every day and, and most of us get up and have a purpose. And if we don't have a purpose, then that's really what we, we need to find, whether that purpose be, you know, for ourselves, for our better health, for our mental health, physical health. We need to find something that within us individually helps us to fuel what our next steps are. And, and that looks different for everybody. And, and I think one of the reasons that I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about this topic today, because I think people are looking for this big profound change or this big profound purpose that, that they need to latch or hold on to in order to shift their negative thinking into something more positive.

But it doesn't have to be something catastrophic or something big. It can be just what is my purpose in this moment? Or what is my purpose moving forward for, for um, a better version of me? Because that's what we're always looking for, right? We always want to be, you know, striving for the best versions of who we can be. And so I, I wrote this, this is, I don't know that you want to call them poems or not. I don't have a title for this one, but I wrote this in a, and I was having kind of a dark, dark moment. I woke up Friday morning. It was about two o'clock. And so this just kind of poured out of me. And I thought it was an important thing for other people to hear because kind of in this journey, you'll see that I'm kind of subconsciously looking for a purpose or looking for something that makes sense for me in this, in this particular moment of darkness.

So hold on just a moment. Thank you for being transparent here.

Yeah.

You're looking for purpose. I, I look at you as no brainer in terms of what your purpose here is. Maybe I'm wrong. Um.

And your purpose is doing what you're doing right now and helping others. So many of us, and I see it being part of different groups and organizations. I think the number one challenge is, and it doesn't matter if you're 22, 52, 60, whatever. It's knowing what your purpose is, finding your purpose. A lot of us don't know what it is. Before you jump in, what are some questions to ask ourselves to really define what our purpose is? What's our why?

Well, that's different for everybody. Are you asking me personally, what is my why?

Well, you know what? I'm gonna go there because I assume I know what it is. But go ahead.

So for me personally, my why is helping other people. My why is if I can effectuate change for one person, and that's kind of why I started this, is if I can help one kid not have the same experience that I had, then everything that I have done subsequently has been worth it. Because I remember being that little kid that was not seemingly at the time worthy of somebody helping or worthy of somebody helping out. I mean, I've been on my own since I've been 15 and a long history of experiences prior to that. And so for me, to be able to take that wisdom and take that knowledge and those experiences and be able to help somebody else, that's my why.

That's for me what makes it worth it every day. And then to be in a financial position to be able to help the orphanage and to be able to help the community financially the way that I have just brings me that internal sense of it's for me, it's just it's peace. I can't imagine ever doing anything else. And to me, it's not a job. It's just a part of who I am. But that comes with a cost. It comes with a price. Because when you dedicate your whole life to always helping other people, you forget to ask help for yourself. Sometimes you get to ask you, hey, how were you doing today? I know for me, I'm kind of the nucleus of of my groups, right? Whether it be at work or whether it be personally

at home. And it's often overlooked. And I think a lot of people who are really busy or who do this for a living can identify with that is people forget to ask you, how are you doing? People forget to ask you, do you need anything? And and there are days that sometimes I look at my phone and I know that I could reach out to some friends that I have. But sometimes I just kind of hope that, you know, maybe, maybe someday I would like for somebody to just be like, hey, how are you doing today?

Hmm.

Today. And because I think people take for granted that people who appear to be all really held together, sometimes they need that.

Deep question coming. Here we go.

Yeah.

How do you handle when you see somebody, child, kid, teen, and it's, it's, it's, it's looking like they're going through what you went through?

Mm hmm.

Right away, you feel that connection and you may even feel that pain and you look at them and now the empathetic side of you is just like, oh, how do you pick yourself up and not go down a rabbit hole in seeing that?

Well, it's really important in this profession that we compartmentalize and there can't be any transference or counter transference. And that's something that we keep as ongoing conversations, both in staff meetings and in supervision, because many people who do this for a living, do it for the same reasons. And so there's always that ongoing topic of self-care. And how do you detach emotionally in that moment to be able to give them the best care based on what they're presenting as? Because their trauma is not our trauma. And it's different. So you need to be able to delineate what that difference is and just know that you're trained to do this. And this, you need to be able to take that individual for whatever it is they're

experiencing. And that's the problem in which we try to treat, because we can't take what worked for us, because everybody's different.

Mm hmm.

I answered your question?

Yeah. Yeah. And how, you know, compartmentalize. Heard that word before. How do you know that you're not avoiding something if you compartmentalize it?

So give me an example, you're talking professionally or personally?

You pick.

Okay, so avoiding it is pretending it doesn't exist. It's not compartmentalizing it, it is finding the time in which you will process and heal from it. There's a difference. So one you put on a shelf for later, because right now, for instance, this morning, so if I had walked in this morning and I got a surprise audit from, from one of our state affiliates, they walked in, I had to compartmentalize what I was doing and put that on a shelf over here to be able to then put on, you know, my other hat to be able to handle what just walked through the door. That doesn't mean that what I was originally working on is gone. It just means that I've compartmentalized it, I've put it in a shelf, I put it in a different file in my brain

to be able to work on what was eminent in this moment. And then later I'll go back and kind of figure out what it is that needed to be picked up versus saying, I don't really want to finish that fellow scene procedure manual, so I'm just going to put it on my table where I can't see it and not finish it. That's avoiding it. Compartmentalizing it is giving it its time. Kind of was the best scenario, I think, just given what I've dealt with today that I could come up with.

Oh, I got you. And somebody said to me about five or six years ago, and this is in line with what you said a moment ago, but we need to take care of ourselves too. And this, these words sound horrible, but it's, it's three words, Bill, never forget it. And I remind myself because I'm always taking care of everybody else. I admit it, I'm an empath, I've got a high level of that, curse and a blessing, all in the same one. And they said, save yourself, save yourself. Like, I'm like, oh, oh, okay, yeah. And all the analogy, put the mask on you on the plane, then put it on others. But you've really got to make sure that you're focusing on you. And it almost sounds a little self-serving and dirty, but it's so true. It's so true, right?

We put a heavy, heavy emphasis on self-care here at the clinic because there is such a high burnout rate for everybody who works in this industry, whether you're a clinician, a mentor, working at the If you're dealing in behavioral health, regardless of what it is that you're doing, it's a high burnout rate and it's really, really important. You know, my, my QA last sent me a text message. She's like, you know what? Sorry, I am feeling super overwhelmed right now. I want to take a last minute vacation. Can I have next week off? Absolutely. I'm so happy that you're taking next week off. That makes me happy to hear. Not, no, you can't. I'm not going to approve it. What about the work that needs to be done? No, it wasn't even a question. It was absolutely. I'm so glad that you took that time for yourself

to be able to get away and take a few, you know, a few days to regroup. That's what we need. We have to. If we don't have self-care, there's no way we're going to get up every day and continue to do what we do and not have it bleed into our professionalism. If we're burnt out, we can only give what we have. I use that analogy all the time. If I have fifty cents and you need a dollar and you, you know, it doesn't matter who you are, I could have given birth to you, but if you need a dollar and I have fifty cents, I can't give you that, that, that dollar, right? I can only give you what I have. And when we tax ourselves to give more than we have, that's when we drain. We don't replenish. That's when we burn out. That's when we get health issues. That's when

all kinds of other flare ups happen because we know that anxiety and stress, it's havoc on our body.

Don't need a dollar. None of us at this moment, we need, we need what you wrote, what you can share with us.

Okay, okay. So I don't have a title for this one. I don't know. I haven't, I haven't come up with one yet. My chest feels tight, not just heavy, but held as if invisible hands have learned the shape of my lungs and refused to let go. Breath comes in fragments, hot, uneven, a quiet battle no one sees. Air turned into something earned, something fought for. The darkness doesn't rush, it seeps. Slow, deliberate, a blanket pulled inch by inch until even the memory of light feels distant. It begins as an ache, dull, constant, a whisper of pain that knows patience.

But as my breath stumbles, it sharpens, turns cruel, piercing through ribs like it belongs there. My eyes grow heavy, not from sleep, but from carrying too much for too long. My body stills, not in peace, but in surrender. And somewhere deeper beneath the noise, beneath the weight, my soul speaks. It does not scream, it does not beg, it simply longs. For rest, for quiet, for a softness this world has not offered me. For light, not the kind that blinds, but the kind that warms without asking anything in return. For joy, not loud, not fleeting, but steady, like something that stays.

But here in this place, those things feel like stories told for other people, not for me. I tell myself this path was chosen for a reason, that isolation is purpose, that protectiveness is strength, that kindness is duty, that giving is meaning. That lane, this restless intimate pain, is the price of understanding, the cost of seeing deeply enough to hold others when they fall. So I carry it quietly. I walk through the world with a practiced smile, warm hands, a heart that still chooses love even when it trembles, even when it breaks. Because if my soul must be alone, it will not be empty. It will be a place others can rest, even if I never learn how to stay there myself.

Wow.

I gotta tell you, I would like to compartmentalize that piece of work.

That's heavy, but real.

I don't usually read my heavy ones, but you know what? I, I kinda was feeling like, I know other people are feeling this. I know other people out there are feeling this heaviness in this chest, this burden, this, this darkness that sometimes becomes so overwhelming that we're not sure how to get out of it. And I think the reason that I wanted to share this really personal one is because all of us, even those of you who we wouldn't expect, we all go through this, we all have these moments. And, you know, it, it's interesting how you would ask, what is my why? Well, I think this speaks pretty loud, pretty loud about what my why is. You know, this, this is the path that I have chosen, but with it becomes a price.

Because in order to be in the position that you're in, I mean, for me, I- I have forty eight employees. I have a lot of responsibilities. I see my own clients. I support an orphanage in another in another country. I have a grandson that I've adopted. I've got grandkids. So that price sometimes is heavy and it's really hard to find your way out and find out what your purpose is. But sometimes you have to remind yourself that even in this darkness, there's a reason for it.

Hmm. You have that responsibility to your team and then to patients.

Correct.

You said you didn't have a title for it. The first one that popped in my head was Under Pressure. I thought of a David Bowie Queen song, but then as it went on, then I thought one word popped in my head, surrender.

Oh, that's a good one. I like that.

Hmm. And I was, I was actually going to ask you, is it okay to surrender? And then you pretty much said in those words that that's what sometimes you need to do. It's not like I'm giving up. You're not giving up.

Surrendering in the moment.

Right. You're resting. We all need a resting place. We all just need a minute where we can allow ourselves. You know, sometimes people see isolation as, you know, depression and not wanting to be around other people. But sometimes isolation is a healing rebuilding stage as well. And with any sort of healing or rebuilding comes closure to something. Something has closed in order for us to rebuild it, whatever that looks like, or the depth of that changes for every topic. But be kind to yourself and allow yourself to have that moment because I think if anybody, I wanted any message to get out there today. Even those of us who do this for a living have moments where our chest feels so tight and heavy

that we have to take a minute to take a breath in order to be able to move forward.

Hmm.

And so I think kindness is just, which should be the theme of the day.

Yeah. Thank you very much for sharing that very transparent in you. And you wrote it in a moment when it seemed like you needed to write it. And I've been doing just what you said over the past, now it's going on two weeks where, yeah, I've been doing, you know, life, socializing, things like that, but I've scaled it back radically. I'm spending time with my dog and my cats, taking walks. Yeah, just a little more quiet here and there. And, and sometimes I feel guilty for doing it. But then the other part of me is like, meh, whatever. Um, and then I remember things I wrote down, you know. In the quiet is the beginning of the cure.

Right, absolutely.

Yeah.

Right, because the, the light, I mean, so going back to kind of last week's poem, which was, you know, in the light is where we want to be, but in the dark is where we do our work.

Yeah, yeah. And a lot of times in the light, i.e. the spotlight, that's where a performer is. And what are they doing? Putting on a show. They're not really being them because the spotlight's on them, but in the darkness, that's the real, that's the reality. Wow.

The practiced smile. Absolutely. That's what we do is we, we get up every day and we just, we do the best that we can. We become the best versions of ourselves. We come to work, we handle what we need to handle, we handle it personally, but there has to be moments where it's okay to feel sad. It's okay to have these moments, you know? Like when I was writing this, sometimes I don't always allow myself to feel the intensity of that emotion because it feels like so overwhelming, but when you don't, it comes out another outlet. So you really have to be able to, to really just appreciate all of who you are as a person, the good, the bad, the ugly, because that is not our shuttle work. With all the positiveness, we want to be able to, to bring all parts of us in and appreciate who we are

and be able to kind of work in, in whatever that looks like and have that forward movement, that rebuilding.

Hmm. Waiting for the book to come out.

Yeah.

The big heel. That's what, that just popped to my head.

Thank you for today. I know maybe not the most uplifting, but it was in a different way, you know?

But I, I just, I wanted to get that message across that it's okay to have a bad day.

Yeah.

And we just need to kind of take that moment to rest and regroup and, and kind of get back to what is our purpose? And, and our purpose has to be something that we want, not something that somebody wants for us.

And that doesn't mean you can't be compensated for your purpose. That, that, or you could have a job and that's okay. And then your purpose turns out to be the volunteer work you do, and that's what gives you fulfillment. That's okay too. It, it's different for everyone. Newbeginningswc.com, that's your website for the, the center.

Thank you for today. Thank you for the insight. And I just want to share too, instant feedback, [email protected]. If anybody has a comment and or wants to share anything, keep it anonymous.

Hear any feedback from any of the shows. I think that would be, that would spur up some really interesting conversations. I would love that.

Yeah, we challenge. Do it. Appreciate it. And again, you can keep it anonymous. That's okay, too. We just love to know what you're feeling, what you're thinking. Appreciate you, Sherri. We'll talk soon. Okay?

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Broadcasting from the business capital of the world. This is the Podcast Business News Network.

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