The Discipline of Showing Up

In today's episode, I sit down with Audie Attar, founder and CEO of Paradigm Sports Management, to discuss the discipline, humility, and resilience required to sustain success. From his early experiences playing football to managing some of the world's biggest athletes, Audie shares how showing up consistently, learning from mistakes, and embracing adversity have shaped his journey. We discuss why even the most accomplished individuals struggle with self doubt, the importance of forgiving your past, and knowing when to say no to new opportunities. Audie also shares his perspective on leadership, setting an example for the next generation, and finding purpose beyond financial achievements. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome to the playbook. I'm David Meltzer here live at SoFi Stadium. It's amazing what $5.5 billion a buy, including a billion dollar screen is actually the place they kicked me off. You may not even know this. They kicked me off the Rose Bowl board because I moved in here and started touting this was the best stadium in the world. And they said, dude, you can't sit on the board of the Rose Bowl and say SoFi is the best stadium, but it was worth it. Speaking of worth it, uh, I'm blessed to do thousands of interviews and every time I have an opportunity uh, to speak with, be with and learn from Audia Tarr. It's a blessing from God. His humility, his wisdom, uh, and his faith, uh, inspires me as a leader to know that

• 0:43Speaker 00

  my mission of empowering a thousand leaders or empower a thousand leaders, uh, is well within my reach with people in my spheres of influence like Audia Tarr. So welcome to Entrepreneurs, the Playbook, Audia Tarr.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you, my friend. It's great to be back.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  Great to see you.

• 1:01Speaker 00

  You, you know what amazes me is guys like you have better things to do and I have to be honest and I, I filmed my TV show on Tuesday and Marshall Falk and I have a very similar relationship that you and I have. And Marshall has his bye week. He's the head football coach at Southern now. And I, and I said, hey, man, uh, I know it's your bye week. You're always invited to come on my TV show. And he said, yeah, I'll be there. And to find out, you know, he flew into Vegas just for the TV show and then flew out to take his week off on his bye week. And for me, it's unbelievable in my experience that I'm so blessed to have people who aren't just exceptional individuals like the people in here, but exceptional individuals that show up.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  And one of the things I've known about you since you played at UCLA is regardless of your circumstance or the position you held, one of the things you could count on is you showed up to the game, you showed up to practice. You're just one of those guys that understood, I'm going to show up and do my best, learn lessons and have fun. How important is it to still, even though you've reached every level of success in the UFC, especially to show up?

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Well, that's what it's all about. And first of all, you know, thanks for having me because it's kind of like the law of attraction, right? Your energy draws me in and vice versa. And I think that's very important in terms of relationships, right? Um, but showing up is what it's all about. Every day you have to, you have to, you know, lace them up. You have to strap up that chin, chin strap and, and go to work and you know, that's obviously a metaphor for life as well because not every day is the same and you're not going to always win. But if you show up every day, you're going to win, you're going to learn, you're going to grow, right? Even if you may fail or lose that day, if you will, right?

• 2:56Speaker 01

  So it's very important and it's something that now that I have kids too, you know, my daughters are 14 and 11. You know, everything I do is going to be something that they're going to learn from. So me showing up every day with intention, with presence, you know, fully, fully aware of what's going on as opposed to being in a million different places, even though I'm here right now. I think it's a great example that I have to give to them, right? And so I've just always tried to live my life that way.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  You know, it's interesting. That reminds me, when my mom passed away about a year and a half ago, the one thing I said that changed my perspective as a parent, because I have the same philosophy as you, minimum amount of time every day with my kids, was I told my mom that I apologize because I don't think I ever listened to her. She, I say, I've been, you know me, almost 59 years, but I apologize because I really never listened to you. But I did watch you. And as I get choked up thinking about how much she meant to me, there's no better lesson than what I watched. She didn't always give me good advice, just like I'm sure what your parents were telling you because they tried to protect me.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  And so that advice is always based off of fear, but watching her work two jobs, how she raised her kids, how she poured into the community as a Sunday school teacher, all the things she did, I watched, even though I wasn't listening. Um, and you mentioned, you know, the way that we show up also is how all these other guys watch you. Because Conor McGregor is watching you. When you're doing the movie stuff, those people are all watching you. And you can say what you want to say, but there's no lying from what they see. There, you know, people say one of the biggest things about me is I'm the same backstage as I'm on stage. That's from watching me. You know, for you, this idea of watching,

• 4:51Speaker 00

  are you particularly paying attention to at times this idea of being kind to your future self that look, I need to in my divine direction, act a certain way because everybody's watching?

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Yes. And the funny thing is, is this journey of life goes until, you know, the, the clock strikes at zero, if you will, for all of us. And so, you know, it's, it's understanding yourself, understanding the past, forgiving yourself for the past mistakes and not holding on to them because who you show up as today has to be your present self. It can't be the past self.

• 5:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  And that shadow could try to follow us all the time, but we have to try to shake it. But you can't shake it if, unless you confront it, you understand it, you name it. And when it comes, it rears its head, you identify it so you could set it to the side and show up as your true self that present day. Cause we keep evolving.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  If you hold yourself back, it's because you're, you're constantly regretting your past mistakes as opposed to forgiving yourself, learning from them and then playing it forward for the next play, the next day, the next time you show up, if you will.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  I'm going to give, make you a spokesperson for my new brand called Made From Mistakes, where I spell mistakes wrong too, uh, just to reiterate the point.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  You and I both are blessed with proximity, proximity to billionaires, millionaires, entrepreneurs, celebrities, athletes and entertainers at the world's best level. And I'm always trying to pick up on what's the common denominator of these exceptional individuals. You've had the same shared experiences I've had. Have you picked up on any common denominators between those types of people that excel or vibrate at a different frequency?

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Yes. Um,

• 6:42Speaker 00

  I like when he always says yes and then answers it. No motherfucker. That's a dumb.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  I should have said, hell yes. Because the reality of it is, is we all think that, oh, well, if I only could get to this, this place in life or business that I'm going to be different. I'm going to think different. I'm going to, you know, but the reality of it is, is people at the highest level of success, they still have imposter syndrome.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  They still doubt themselves. They still have a shadow following them. They still have to figure out what that purpose is because as your goals continue to get achieved or not achieved, you have to reset, recalibrate. And sometimes you find people that keep going, going, going, going, going, going so hard. They never dealt with that other stuff. And they're still empty. Doesn't matter what they've won, what they have accomplished, what they've accumulated. They're still empty. So this is a human thing. It's not a class thing. It's not a level thing, right? And so it, it strikes, it really struck me hard when I, when I, I get to interact, I just came back from a retreat actually, and it was a, it was a regional board meeting, but some

• 7:46Speaker 01

  the biggest success stories in the West Coast, leaders of, and titans of business. And it's interesting that whether it's someone in, at the age of 65 or at the age of 46, that we're dealing with similar situations, similar questions that we're asking ourselves about life, about business, similar doubts and insecurities, if you will. But the ambition level is still the same, albeit in different domains, right? So to me, that, that is, I think, the, the, the biggest blessing of being able to be associated and doing business with different people like yourself, people from all over the world, um, is that it humanizes it.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  And so that way, you know, it's not this, this mysterious um, thing that you're chasing that you think that if you get there, that all these things just solve themselves. They don't, right? And so I think that's been, um, for me, the biggest unlock is that it validated a lot of things that I instinctively felt. And that's why I show up every day. That's why I keep, I get up if I get knocked down. That's why I'm also trying to set that example for my daughters.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  One of the common denominators that has been present, omnipresent in my life from all the YPO stuff to running Lee Steinberg to Sports One Marketing, TV, movies, podcasts, all these amazing people around me is that everyone has a desire that they must be what they can be.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Because in the end, if you don't have that desire, things get too big and we just fold down. Um, number one, I know you are built off of that. You're one of those people that has that same desire that I had. How much of that desire was matuated from playing sports, especially football? Because for me, I would say the greatest lessons I learned was being a below average college football player. I'm not going to put you in that same position.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Below average.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  I would say 50%, of the guys are, they just don't admit it, right? But more importantly, you know, you have to have that desire, uh, in that sport.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 00

  Um, so for you, was it from the childhood? Was it a sport that brought it out from you? How was the evolution of that desire?

• 10:00Speaker 01

  I think it was a collective experience.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Meaning a lot of the stuff, you know, we all have. A past. We've all dealt with different things. Or I've always says, this is not the trauma Olympics. You know, but we've all dealt with different things. And I would say early in my, in my, you know, childhood, I dealt with a lot of stuff. And so that

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Just as a quick question, I never do a podcast. Who here thinks they dealt with a lot of stuff in their childhood? Right. Okay, just talk about being human.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Told you it's not the trial Olympics. Good point. I wouldn't have even medaled. So good. But, but those then drove me in certain directions. They could have easily set me down the wrong path, but I used that fuel on the football field. And that was where my outlet was, where I got to be very impressive and let out a lot of that energy and emotion. And then through that experience, though, it was like, then I set a goal. I wanted to become an All American in high school. I wanted to play Division One. And then you set these goals and you know what it takes to get there. It's not only showing up, but it's going harder than anybody else that you're competing with, right? So that competitive nature was, I'd say, a shared experience through

• 11:13Speaker 01

  all those different moments in my life and my journey. And I'm still experiencing them today in a different way, right? So when you get to this place, it's like, okay, well, what's, what's, what's the goal now? What's the vision? What? And what have I learned? Not just from the wins, but from the lessons, right? Which a lot of times, people just don't take a lot of time to process those lessons. They just want to forget about it. I move on and like, you know, but I think the biggest growth comes from watching the film. And that's another football analogy. It's like, okay, you practice, you watch the film, then you go back to practice. You play a game, you watch the film. So that's how you're going to learn from your mistakes. And hopefully then, you know, whether it's on the practice field or in the game, but in life, right?

• 11:57Speaker 01

  You can continue to evolve. And then that's, in my opinion, what makes a champion. That's what makes titans of industry. It's those people that could, excuse my language, eat shit sandwiches day after day and still show up and not give a fuck, because they're going to prove to themselves and everybody that they're going to accomplish their goal.

• 12:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's amazing. I remember

• 12:19Speaker 01

  My language, but he cuss.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's okay.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Green light.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Everyone's green light for sure. My second year in law school, my oldest brother passed away. I went on loans to go to Tulane Law School and my stepfather had ruined my credit. They were going to kick me out of school. I didn't have any money. And I remember sitting on my bed in law school and I was doing well. I remember praying to God and saying, if you can let me pay off my law loans and buy my mom a house, I'll shovel shit with my hands six days a week for 12 hours a day. And I've never forgot that moment, because when it all figured itself out and I stayed in law school, because my mom was ridiculous. It's like, if I have to sell my body, I will get you the money to go to school. I'm like, Mom, it ain't happening.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  Let's figure out a different way. But she was willing. More importantly, though,

• 13:15Speaker 00

  you know, every opportunity I have when it gets hard and everybody else thinks it's easy, but I was saying the simple things to do are simple not to do. And I'm really good at being consistent in the simple things. For you, that same idea that you just shared has carried you through a lot of challenges even later on in life. And everybody thinks it was real simple to build paradigm. They think it's simple to do those things. You still probably today had a bunch of different things come up on your drive from Santa Barbara down. They're like, oh shit, not again.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  That's, that's, that's why you gotta be ready for it all.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  It's certainly not all roses. And you have to be willing to, if you're going to pick that rose, get ready for the thorns, because they're going to prick you. And it's not like you're going to a flower shop and buying a freshly, you know, manicured one straight off the shelf. This is the wild, right? And I think life and business are the wild.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  To that measure, one of my favorite lessons that I keep around me as much as I can is you're either humble or you're about to be.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  And it really motivates me to be kind to people, to stay humble, to give them what they're not expecting. And you're the same type of person. You come in here as big as life, and yet if anyone wants to talk to you, you drove here, wasn't convenient in the least, but yet you're so humble. How important is it to remain humble even when you do experience success?

• 14:49Speaker 01

  It's so important. And it's very difficult at times, right? Especially when you get tested in different ways, right? But you have to stay true to who you are. And if you have said that to yourself and to others, you gotta be true to that. And I always tell my kids, like, hey, just do the right thing, even if nobody's looking. That's hard, right? Find a hundred dollar bill. Someone's walking away. What are you gonna do? Right? It's hard. Have I made wrong mistakes like that? Absolutely. Do I think that that defines who I am and who I want to be today or in the future? Absolutely not, right? So I think it's, it's very important to just

• 15:28Speaker 01

  kind of always have that, you know, it sounds cliche, but the attitude of gratitude is, is being thankful for everything, even, even the shit sandwiches.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Because sometimes those are the biggest lessons that unlock something even bigger that you wouldn't even expect, right? I think that's, that's, you know, it's a testament to who you are. And that's why I show up for people like you too, because you show up for me, right?

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Love to. By the way, did you find my hundred dollars at that

• 15:56Speaker 00

  feeling guilty, though?

• 15:59Speaker 00

  Nobody has dollars anymore.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  I know. I used, I used the wrong, wrong terminology.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  A lot of times we get, at your age especially, to a point where what's next?

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  And that causes us to make bad decisions, right? So we don't stick to aligning our capability with what doing well, what's stable, we think is doing well in the future. So we take on projects that maybe are shining light projects. And it's a real danger when you could afford to do those types of projects and you're really not thinking. And it gets deeper and deeper. Like it starts and you are aligned with your timing and risk tolerance, you're mitigating risk. And so it's like, I throw a million dollars at this. And next thing you know, you're $10 million into a bad idea. Number one, have you had that type of experience? And two, when do you know or have the humility to back out of that?

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Certainly have. No question. You know, not every idea that I've ever had succeeded. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You know, it's the percentage of the wins are in the grand scheme of things with the amount of shots taken.

• 17:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  If you look at it, you're like, oh, that's not, that's not a good average, right? But if you don't shoot your shot, you're going to miss. You'll never make a shot. So as you get older, though, you have to kind of balance the capacity of what you can do, should do. And I think saying no is important. I've, I've, I'm, I've learned and learning a lot, a lot more out of saying no, right? Looking at an opportunity, it may not be for me, maybe for some, even though it sounds amazing, but you know, trying to get better at that is kind of where my goal is now. And again, just going back to these conversations I was just having yesterday with the group. It's interesting because it's like, okay,

• 17:51Speaker 01

  the next phase of what we're building has to be exciting enough for me to want to continue to eat those shit sandwiches and get out of bed and keep doing it. And more importantly, make sure that I'm, I'm serving those that are with me on the journey as well. And that's kind of one of the things that I think is very important, because ultimately it's not easy. And it's not like I do it alone. So it's not just about me. And so I have to want to make sure I'm fired up for myself or for them as well, right? Because once you get involved with something, it's not just about the money. It's about people's lives. It's about their livelihoods. And that means something to me, right? And so I'm, I'm super pumped about the stuff that we're working on now and a lot of the, the different projects that we have in

• 18:35Speaker 01

  market. But even those, anything could wipe it out at any given time, no matter, even if the scoreboard's, you know, a positive one right now, something could happen that could disrupt that business, geopolitics, supply chain, whatever it is. And now you're like, what the fuck? Right? What do I do now? All right. So, but that's also what's, what's, what's, I think, more interesting. And one thing I'll say, just back to my, my conversations yesterday, you could have achieved all of it, have all the money in the world, but you get to this place and you're like, what's next?

• 19:14Speaker 01

  And if, one of the things that, that's a common denominator that I found between not only a person just starting out to a multi billionaire, is that if they don't feel that passion of solving a problem or helping something, or that is what they're looking for. That's the, that's the empty feeling they're left with when it's, let's say the game's over or they have their final exit and they're like, well, now what? Well, I'm in my sixties or seventies and how much life do I have really left? You start to think about stuff like that when you're in midlife and you get a little older. You know, you just do, right? And so when you start to think of it from that perspective, and let's say your kids are grown, they're off doing their life, you want, they're,

• 19:57Speaker 01

  they've developed their wings, so they're gone. And you want that, right? But what do you do? And, and that's an interesting, interesting question that I thought, you know, hey, not everybody thinks that way, but I was wrong, you know, I was very wrong.

• 20:11Speaker 00

  Describe me my life right now.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  I tell my 16 year old son, I'm like, bro, well, because he says, bruh, bruh, my, your cat's in the cradling me. You know, I'll make plans to play golf with them at three o'clock and he'll pop in at like 2:30. I'm like, ready to go? He's like, ah, actually dad, I'll be playing my buddies. And my buddy needs your spot too. And I'm like, oh. And I start humming, cats in the cradle in the silver spoon. My life cracks up all the time. One of, you know, the things as we, as we finish up to remember about what we're talking on today is that, you know,

• 20:51Speaker 00

  this time goes really quickly. And it's just about these lessons and, you know, been around the same people as you. And it's so interesting that the people that live in faith that apply their why, it doesn't matter what they're applying it to. Because they apply their why, they learn, they keep applying it. And eventually it happens. That's why I say you'll get to where you want to be or better. And probably better. And it doesn't look anything like what you thought it was going to be.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's completely different portrait, but it's beautiful nonetheless.

• 21:25Speaker 00

  Exactly. And surround yourself with the right people and the right ideas. That's why I invited Audie Attar here, so he can surround us all as an extraordinary success and a great friend. And these guys keep showing up. And I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Thank you. Thank you for being a light. Thank you.

• 21:45Speaker 00

  The amazing

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Thank you guys.

• 21:46Speaker 00

  Audie Attar. I'm David Meltzer. This is Entrepreneurs, the playbook.