Episode 4: ‘I Get To Tell The Truth’

Vienna Luke fights for justice in the courtroom and works to take back control over her life and story. https://agentlayla.ca/

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

  This is a CBC Podcast.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  This episode deals with the fallout from sexual assault. Please take care while listening. And here's some advice from Sergeant Joelle Lechance.

• 0:43Speaker 03

  If someone discloses that they've been sexually assaulted, the most important thing is to believe them and to believe their story and to recognize that the hardest thing is to actually tell someone. Support is one of the most important things to help them move forward.

• 1:14Speaker 04

  April 26, 2022. Nothing about today is easy.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  It's the day Justin Sewell is going to be arrested. Vienna knew it was coming. She's flown into Fort St. John to be there. As she waits for it all to go down, she writes a letter.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  It's a letter to Justin's wife, her oldest sister Sunny.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  It's hard, it's sad, it's excruciating. It feels like no one is winning. It feels like loss. I wish I could say something to lessen the blow or make it somehow not as bad. I wish that this wasn't a reality, but it is. I thought my sister is going to be shocked. And this is my opportunity. Maybe she'll choose to be my sister instead of his wife.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Justin Sewell pulls out of his gravel driveway. There's a car parked on the road. Inside is Paul, one of the local constables. Within seconds, there's another police cruiser. The cops pull Justin over, arrest him, and take him away.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  If anything happened to my kids, like what happened to me, I would do everything in my power to make sure they were heard, believed, and that whoever was responsible be held accountable for their actions.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  The police search Justin and Sunny's home. Sunny and a couple of their kids are there, getting ready for school. The police go through their bedrooms. They seize the kids' iPads. They break down the door to the shed.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Not only was my worth, sexuality, and personhood completely violated by Justin, I lost you and mom and dad in the process. After this all happened, the trust in our relationship just started to erode. And that's been happening for the past 15 years, with me and you, and with me and mom and dad.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Justin is charged with four counts. One count of sexual assault, two counts of voyeurism, and one count of administering a stupefying drug. Vienna wonders how this is all landing for her sister.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  I love you so much. Even if today makes no sense, know that I love you. You are not hidden, or forgotten, or hopeless. This silence and confusion needs to stop.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  A local news story runs. It identifies Justin Sewell and what he's accused of. A publication ban is put on Vienna's name. That means no one following the case in the news will know her name or anything about her.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  And I needed to stand up and take back my voice. I want that for you, too.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  The truth about what Justin did to Vienna will now be laid bare in court. Vienna and Sunny will be there, on opposite sides.

• 4:19Speaker 04

  I want to talk with you whenever you are ready, Vienna.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  For CBC's Personally, I'm Jodi Martinson. This is Agent Leila, episode four. I get to tell the truth.

• 4:43Speaker 05

  We're ready to begin boarding. Air Canada Express, flight 8369 to Fort St. John. Customers in zone.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  Vienna is soaking in the sunlight. She's sitting in front of wall-to-wall windows at the Vancouver airport. It's now three years after Justin's arrest. Justin has pleaded guilty to three of the four charges. The drugging charges stayed. The sentencing has dragged on for 14 days in court, spread out over more than two years. Vienna and Shaughnessy traveled back and forth to be there and to remind everyone in court, there is a real victim.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  I'm teaching my fitness classes. I'm at school, pick-up and drop-off. And I know, like, okay, next week I'm, like, flying up.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  They couldn't tell anyone about what they were doing. Missing days of work, important days with their kids, mostly to sit in court politely, listening to them talk about what Justin did to her body. It's felt like a part-time job.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  I can't put this on my resume, like, sexual assault survivor. And like, look, these are all the things I did, like, along the way.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  But today in court, an ending. The judge will read his sentence, and his decision determines whether Vienna's brother-in-law will go to prison for his crimes.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Vienna's waiting to board her flight with her best friend Katie and her sister Shaughnessy.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  How are you feeling?

• 6:22Speaker 04

  I guess that part of things is kind of exciting because when you look back, it's like, whoa, like, look at how far we've come. And for so many years, just like, I couldn't move. I was a shell with myself. And then, once we started this process, it was like every door we knocked on, like, opened, which is crazy because that's not a for-hood experience or that's like barely anybody's experience.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Vienna is one of the lucky ones. So few victims ever get their cases investigated by the police, let alone an undercover operation. Even fewer end up with a conviction and prison time.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  On the flight, Vienna journals.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  April 3, 2025. Opt two FSJ. One more slash last time. It is wild to think of how many trips we've taken up here, how many times we've driven up.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Vienna remembers the first time Sunny traveled up north for her summer job. Vienna was nine. She cried at the airport when they dropped her big sister off.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  She must have liked something about being up there. The vastness of the landscape, but the smallness of it, the people, the community. Maybe it was welcoming. Maybe it felt like a home to her, even that first summer before she met Justin.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  As the plane touches down in Fort St. John, Vienna's mood changes.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  By the evening, in the hotel room, she's in her pajamas, feeling sick.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  I'm just gonna lay down, keep laying down. So hopefully I don't sound funny. Oh, I know I think all of the stress, this is starting to hit me.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Her stomach's in knots, so is her brain. Seeking justice is so complicated when you know it will hurt the people you love.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Like, the ripple effect. Yeah, what does that mean for my sister? Will she be packing him care packages for, you know, when he's in jail? If that's how things go.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  But will it affect you what the judge decides tomorrow?

• 9:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, for sure. If he doesn't get any time, I will feel upset. But also, if I'm really being honest, I really don't want anybody to go to jail. And then also, it's not just that it's like some person, it's that it's my nephew's dad and my sister's husband, even though I don't.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  The Crown argued Justin should get four and a half years in prison. Defense has argued for house arrest. If he gets off with house arrest, I'll be like, what's the point?

• 9:42Speaker 05

  Like, there's no consequence.

• 9:44Speaker 06

  And I think, just regardless of what happens tomorrow, you should be proud.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  This is Katie, Vienna's best friend since childhood.

• 9:53Speaker 06

  He is the one who put his entire family in this situation. People just get away with these things. And it, like, this can't keep happening. Nobody should ever be put in a situation. I think you need to remind yourself ultimately that you are not responsible for any of this.

• 10:13Speaker 04

  I think I, like, disassociate a little bit, maybe a lot. I think it's just proof that I actually haven't processed all of this. How haven't I, like, healed from this yet? It's been how many years? Like, 18 years?

• 10:30Speaker 05

  But maybe you need to give yourself a little bit of a break because this is a family member. It is unique, right? You don't have mom and dad fully on board, right?

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Vienna's parents have sat through what's happened in court. They've heard Justin on the stand blaming a porn addiction. He said it started as a child and distorted his view of sexuality. They've heard Justin's lawyer make the case that Justin is a changed man. They've listened to the recording from the airport of Justin telling Vienna what he did to her, that he drugged her, that he ejaculated on her, took photos of her naked, photos of him spooning her, photos with his penis near her face. When Vienna first came to her parents, they said they didn't have enough information. They can't say that anymore. But Justin is the husband of their oldest daughter, Sunny. And Sunny took the stand in Justin's defense.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  They're still married. By trying to not pick one daughter over the other, it has sometimes felt like the Luke parents are on no one's side.

• 11:38Speaker 05

  So I just think, maybe give yourself a bit of a break. You don't have full, full support.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:48Speaker 06

  I think that's what's also frustrating, that it's happening up here and is like the one...

• 11:53Speaker 02

  The case is playing out on Justin's home turf. People from his church and other friends have filled the benches behind him in court. Eighty-eight people submitted letters to the court vouching for Justin's character. They saw him transform himself into a better man. Katie thinks the courtroom would feel different for Vienna if it was in Vancouver where Vienna lives. Vienna's partner is home taking care of the kids. He can't even be there to support her in person.

• 12:22Speaker 06

  Vienna would have so many people here, like, in her corner. And it's, it's kind of sad when you walk in there and it's like, oh, the victim has like a handful of people there and then there's all these people rallying around him.

• 12:36Speaker 05

  Because everyone in that courtroom on his side is like, hey, listen, man, long time ago, guy's changed, all good now, like, can't we just move on?

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think I'm just feeling the weight of carrying that. Because at the end of the day, like, it's me who's been violated, who's been taken advantage of, and also the one that has to basically stand up and say, like, this isn't all right.

• 13:17Speaker 06

  We're eight minutes from Charlie Lake Church.

• 13:18Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, grid. So this is the clinic, and it looks like they're all meeting at the clinic. That's his truck right there. That's probably where they do the pre-court meeting.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  The next morning, Vienna, Shaughnessy, and Katie take me on a drive on our way to the courthouse.

• 13:33Speaker 05

  Isn't it down here?

• 13:34Speaker 06

  No, you go around the corner.

• 13:35Speaker 05

  No, isn't their house down here?

• 13:36Speaker 06

  No, it's up here. It's down the street from that.

• 13:39Speaker 05

  Okay. How are you doing?

• 13:43Speaker 06

  Oh, I'm just having a hard time with you this morning.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  That morning, they bumped into their dad in the elevator. Vienna gave him a hug, but not Shaughnessy.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I just like, I couldn't hug my dad in the elevator today. I just couldn't do it.

• 14:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, that kind of...

• 14:02Speaker 05

  No way, that bothers you?

• 14:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, and that's why you're mad at me?

• 14:07Speaker 05

  But I have to be real with myself. Like, I don't feel...

• 14:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I can feel that this...

• 14:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, you can feel that way, too. It's just so charged when we go into this court situation and they're there and like, it's just like it crystallizes and magnifies everything about this dynamic in our family.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Inside the courthouse, 20 or so people sit behind Justin, including Sunny. There are five people sitting with Vienna on her side: Katie and Shaughnessy, and despite their divided loyalty, Vienna's mom and dad, and Sergeant Joelle Le chance.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  I do my job for the victims and for the families of victims.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  She doesn't work in the Fort St. John detachment anymore. She's traveled up over and over again on her own time to sit silently in court. She promised she would, and she has every time.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  So to be able to be there and see it through is very important to me.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  This case has been a big part of her life, too.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  The day that I had the conversation about Vienna becoming an agent, I may have been late for my sister's funeral because I was on the phone arranging that.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  She'd answer her phone even at 4:00 a.m. if Vienna's parents were lying awake and called her with questions about the case. She understands the Luke family.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Ultimately, Vienna and Shaughnessy, they're just such, I mean, Shaughnessy's such a firecracker and, you know, pushing everything and, you know, doing her own investigation. And then just Vienna and just her, her strength. I mean, I've had some really interesting files in my career, but in terms of which one's going to be the one that stands out for me, both personally and career-wise, it'll be this file.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Sergeant Le chance has been clear-headed and consistent. Vienna's parents have not been that for her. They read a victim impact statement in court. It says they're heartbroken, they've felt angry, deceived, manipulated, and taken advantage of by Justin. It says their three precious daughters were an interwoven braid, raised to be as tight as sisters can be. The roller coaster of emotions has caused them clear thinking and sound decision-making. They both suffer periods of depression. It's as if they packed and planned for a family trip to Hawaii, but instead landed alone, totally unprepared, on a cold, dark night in the Arctic.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  So they pray for God to expose the truth. And they try to support and love each of their daughters.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  I think, deep down, they know they should come out on Vienna's side, but they also have their grandsons. I mean, you saw the boys in court, supporting their dad. So, yeah, it's just, it's an impossible position for them to be in, and they've made some mistakes.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  In the courtroom, everyone stands up. The judge walks in, and he begins to read his decision. At first, they thought it was going Vienna's way. The judge said it was incredibly brave for Vienna to go undercover. He said Shaughnessy was a steadfast rock of support for Vienna. But then, the judge talked about Justin's cooperation, how he met Vienna face-to-face. He answered her questions even though he knew they might be used against him. He pleaded guilty. The judge found Justin's remorse credible. Then, he gave out the sentence.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  It amounts to two years minus a day of house arrest. He can go to work and do emergency vet calls. He can attend church on Sundays, and he gets four hours on Saturdays to run errands. His lawyer asks for permission to go to the gym. The judge says, no, this is supposed to be a punishment. He will not go to prison.

• 18:43Speaker 06

  Like, what more could I have done?

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Vienna and Shaughnessy save their reaction for the parking lot. One word echoed to Vienna.

• 18:53Speaker 06

  Conditional, conditional, conditional, conditional.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Conditional is the word for house arrest.

• 19:00Speaker 06

  So like, I think at first, there was a little bit of kind of like, oh, like, it wasn't, a feeling of like, it wasn't enough.

• 19:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:09Speaker 06

  It wasn't bad enough toward...

• 19:11Speaker 05

  A jail sentence.

• 19:12Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  They get on the phone with Vienna's partner, Jordan.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  Oh, so what a debacle, or what, it seems like these offenders just can skate through these things.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  They knew it could go that way, but this is not the end of the line. Crown counsel has already told them they plan to appeal. They actually think they have a good shot at getting a higher court to overturn the decision and put Justin behind bars. For Vienna, though, she's done with the courts. And she's done with Fort St. John.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  On the plane back to Vancouver, and my first thought is, we left her there.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  She pulls out her journal, and again, her thoughts turn to Sunny.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  We've abandoned her, but she must be happy, and this must be what she wants if she's still there. I'm so sad to leave her behind. It's like I didn't accomplish what I'd hoped for, when she was always the reason I reported, so she'd believe me, so she'd leave, so she'd come back to us. Do I keep hoping that one day, if I ever come back to Fort St. John, she will come with me and I won't leave her behind? Is it worth hoping, or do I stop?

• 20:40Speaker 04

  Was like so innocent.

• 20:42Speaker 05

  I mean, the thing is the podcast thing, which she will not be happy about.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  This whole time, we haven't been using Sunny's real name. We decided to call her Sunny because of a painting that hung in the Luke family home when the girls were growing up. It was a field of sunflowers. Sunny made it. In the early days in court, it was still unclear to Vienna and Shaughnessy how much their sister even knew. They had a hope. She might move from Justin's side to come sit beside Vienna. They wore sunflower brooches, a symbol only their big sister would understand, something that said, we still wish we were all on the same side.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Vienna texted Sunny to tell her about this podcast and asked if she'd like to talk. She declined.

• 21:34Speaker 05

  And all we can hope that is if that's out there, maybe she doesn't listen to it now, but she will always be able to find that as like a living testament.

• 21:41Speaker 04

  It's sad because I feel so bad for her, but like nothing feels better than just being me and standing up. I'm operating in freedom. I'm sorry, there's nothing more like life giving than just being like, hey, I get to tell the truth.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  Not to spite anyone, not to like force anything, not out of revenge, but out of just like owning my life.

• 22:19Speaker 07

  How do I recover from a friendship breakup? How come there's nowhere to hang out anymore? Why do I feel lonely when I can communicate with anyone and everyone through my phone? These are the questions that you're not alone in asking. And that's where our new podcast Cornerpiece comes in to start small on life's biggest questions. I'm Taha and with my friends Sabrina and Melissa, we're going to explore life's ungooglable questions on this new podcast with Ted. Come hang out with us on Cornerpiece with new episodes every other Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 22:53Speaker 05

  I need to be lower.

• 22:54Speaker 04

  No, you're fine. You're fine.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  For 18 years, Vienna wasn't able to tell people her story.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  Okay, try not to like look like you're looking in a camera because you kind of do that.

• 23:06Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Where's my drink?

• 23:08Speaker 05

  Where'd it ruin my life?

• 23:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  First, she couldn't share what happened because of secrets and shame and because her mom, dad, and sister wanted her to reconcile. Then, because she was a police agent and anything she said risked the investigation. And then in court, her name was covered by a publication ban. So the few news articles that did get published never told her side of the story.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  Opening FaceTime.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  I feel nervous. Do you feel nervous? I feel nervous.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Now she can talk.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  So she's trying her story out. She and Shaughnessy are calling up some old friends to share her whole story for the first time.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  I, I think the, I think I should just.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  Just say it and then walk it back.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  And then I'll, and I'll walk back. Um, I am the victim.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  And.

• 24:01Speaker 05

  And just before you go forward, she had her publication ban lifted. She can say whatever she wants at this point.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Vienna shakes as she talks to them.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  He's been allowed to be the teller of the story, which is what happened for so many years is that.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  She goes over her story step by step, everything we've covered in this podcast. She tells them about the day she went undercover as Agent Leila.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  This was my one chance, my one chance to take back the story. Yeah, it was my one chance to set the record straight, to take back the story, to finally shift the narrative and flip the script and say, wait a second, you've been lying about my life. You don't get to do that. You don't get to tell my story. This is my life. I'm the leading lady of it and therefore I get to write it. It's not your story.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  They talk about the court case and how much it hurt Vienna to see members of the church accept his version of the story, believe his narrative of redemption, but never ask themselves what it means for her up until now, the silenced victim.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  He knew the type of family we were from and like he, he used that. It's kind of like, why does he, why does he get God? Or like.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  How do sexual abusers fit back into church, Bible camps, any institution? How does Vienna fit back into those places that wrote letters of support for him without even asking if the anonymous victim might need their support too, might be part of their community?

• 25:45Speaker 05

  Well, and he's used with my, our parents too, right? So that's how he's gotten in every time. It's like, you know, the Lord has done a work in me and I am a changed man. It's like, well, what can you say to that? Are you going to say, I don't believe you?

• 25:59Speaker 02

  This call is the beginning of something new for Vienna. It has to do with a new kind of agentization, the agency of telling your story.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  I mean, all the details after I was unconscious were Justin's to relate. There is a section of time that I don't know what happened to me. But from then after, the narrative of the past 19 years, past that small moment in time, it should not be his, it should be mine.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  This podcast is part of that too.

• 26:40Speaker 05

  My hope for her is that it will be more than just a podcast for her. Like this will be a moment in time that she can look back and say, this was the beginning of my ability to actually integrate what happened to me.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  On the other side of the screen, people say they're sorry for what happened to her. They support her and they'll step up if she needs anything.

• 27:02Speaker 05

  We don't know what the future looks like, but we know it looks better than the past looked like. And that I think that we're both, you're okay is really, Kate, we're okay. Yeah. So thanks so much.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  Six months later, fall 2025. Vienna is in Disneyland. The lawyers for the Crown have continued the fight, even as Vienna's life has begun to move on. They've argued that Justin needs to go to prison for his crimes. And on this day, the appeals court judges will decide. Vienna is driving along the freeway in Anaheim and it is dumping rain in Southern California.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  In my mind, I'm thinking, of course it's raining. Of all the days, it's this day, it's this morning.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Vienna expects the decision at 10:00 AM, but she has her phone off. She's trying to be present with her family in the happiest place on earth. Here's what she wrote about that moment.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  There we are in our rental car, kids in the backseat, full of energy, speeding down the freeway and the rain absolutely coming down. Some LA soft rock radio station is playing. And as 10:00 AM nears, I keep checking the clock. Then right at 10, Imagine by John Lennon comes on and I feel it all. The culmination of all these years. Nothing matters. Everything matters. How can both feel so true? Was it all worth it? Was it a waste of time? In that moment, I felt both and a small sense of peace that regardless of the outcome, I did it anyway. I did it all regardless of the outcome.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  While Vienna takes a break, Shaughnessy digs into the decision immediately.

• 29:09Speaker 05

  Oh my God, babe, come here.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  For so many years, Shaughnessy has chronicled Vienna's ordeal through voice notes. On this day too, she hits record and lets it run. She records no less than an hour and a half of voice memos with her reaction.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was just talking.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  You're going to jail.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  I was just talking.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  The Court of Appeals has overruled the judge's sentencing. Justin will now serve out the rest of his sentence in a federal prison.

• 29:45Speaker 05

  I'm dealing with a little bit of shock and just processing like, what does that mean?

• 29:53Speaker 05

  The fact that he's going to be taken into custody and, um, and, and his whole life is going to change.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  She texts Vienna.

• 30:02Speaker 05

  You're welcome to text me back if you want, but not if you don't want. And that's totally okay. Just carry on with your day with the kids, but here if you want to talk about anything.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Everyone should have their own Shaughnessy.

• 30:18Speaker 05

  My feeling was I'm a bear. I just felt like I'm this huge bear with the intention and the.

• 30:27Speaker 07

  Like, energy in my eyes. I'm here for one thing. I'm here in support of her going through this process. That's my goal. That's the only reason I'm here.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  If believing is the best thing you can give a survivor of sexual assault, Shaughnessy has been unwavering.

• 30:44Speaker 07

  I don't think she says it all the time, which maybe I do want to hear it more often. But like, how much she appreciates me, right? It is nice to hear that. Like, OK, wow, everything that I've done, you recognize. You recognize this is because I'm doing it because I love you. Right? That's why I'm doing it.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Remember that Bible verse Vienna loves so much from when she was 20? Before the assault, when her world still felt safe and wide open? When she ran a marathon and the verse was engraved on her big old iPod?

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off all that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  The verse makes a lot of sense now. The sin that so easily entangles is obvious. That's what Justin did to her. And for a long time, it had her stuck. But her new race is about telling her story. And the cloud of witnesses, those are the women who've gone before her.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  This is the reason that I that I choose to use my voice is because hearing their stories were so meaningful and inspiring to me. I didn't feel alone. I so I see them as kind of this great cloud of people, of women that that have gone before me that have kind of paved the way.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  But not without a cost.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  I'm tired. Some days I feel like totally done fighting this fight. But I think even on my hard days, the fact that I took the hardest thing and made it into this like, great victory for myself

• 32:44Speaker 04

  is, I think, still what astonishes me. I'm kind of like, whoa, look at what I did. Like, Vienna, do not underestimate yourself. You are so capable. You are so incredible. You are the only one. I am the only one that is capable of being the most victorious in my own story.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  You've got to be the agent in your own life.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  And I guess that's what I, yeah, I do want that for for other survivors. Nobody knows a story like you do. And nobody can advocate for you better than you can advocate for yourself. It took this almost feels like an experiment of the police saying, hey, how about you go undercover as yourself? For me to realize, whoa, look at the advocate I can be for myself. I was Agent Layla. That's me.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  OK, it is very hot in here. AC, AC.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  It's spring. The pink cherry blossoms have popped.

• 34:08Speaker 04

  It's the most direct route. But I do have to watch for bikes.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  It's like so nice out.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  The case is over. Vienna is back to just being a mom with a nine-year-old who wishes she had a cool job. Instead, she's out picking up kids.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  I usually I would try to leave at 2:30. And then the bell rings at 2:57, which is just like, why they have to do that.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  She will be there, retired secret agent, when the bell rings at 2:57. And sometimes on the drive, she imagines telling her daughter what she's really been doing in the background all these years.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  Deep breaths.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Maybe when her daughter is the same age she was when this all started.

• 35:03Speaker 04

  I imagine you are 20. It's hard to think about time going that fast. But I know that I'll blink and we'll be there. In the space between, I'll tell you the truth. In bits and pieces, until one day, you'll practically know the whole thing.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  You've witnessed me on low days. And I know that your intuitive spirit knows more than it needs to. You ask so earnestly, Mom, what happened? I said, one day I would be able to tell you more.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  No one at the school pickup would ever guess that that nine-year-old's mom was a secret agent, a victim of sexual assault who fought for justice and truth.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  But Vienna knows part of her will always be Agent Layla. And someday, her daughter will know too.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  For years, I lived in shame and denial. I was numb. One day, I woke up. It was you. You helped me realize I was worthy. I was loved. This is that story of how, over time, with love and courage, I chose to write a new story for myself. So right now, as I continue to take one day at a time, I often wonder about the day I share this with you. When I tell you the whole story, I hope you'll be proud of me.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Agent Layla was produced in consultation with Vienna Luke and Shaughnessy Luke. The series is written and reported by me, Jodi Martinson. Sophie Woodruff is associate producer. Jeff Turner is our senior producer. Anna Ashite is our coordinating producer. Mixing and sound design by Graham McDonald and Julian Uziale, with additional mixing support from Evan Kelly.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Our podcast art was designed by Chloe Cushman. Our cross-promo producers are Amanda Cox and Kelsey Cueva. Our video producers are Evan Iguar, Tamina Aziz, and John Lee. Executive producers are Cecil Fernandez and Chris Oak. Tonya Springer is the senior manager. Arif Noorani is the director. And Leslie Merklinger is the executive director of CBC Podcasts. If you've liked this episode, please share it with your friends. That's the number one way people find out about good podcasts, and it would mean a lot to us.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  If you enjoyed our show, I think you would also like season four of CBC's Personally. It's a series called Sorry About the Kid. It's a really beautifully told story about losing a sibling to a horrible tragedy. And years later, recognizing how much of your life has been colored by that loss.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  For more CBC podcasts, go to cbc.ca/podcasts.