⚽ The panel of dreams...⚽

We're on a short break for half-term so you'll have to excuse the lack of topical football reactions from this weekends results. For this episode (recorded during the recent international break) we put together our dream panel to host and present football coverage. Let us know your own choices in the comments. We'll be back next week with more football hot takes (hopefully Carrick has been sacked by then) Enjoy! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [email protected] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:39Speaker 02

  Hello, welcome to Footballing Hell.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  With me, Rob Beckett and Josh Willinkum.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yes, we've still not got an intro, but...

• 1:46Speaker 03

  International break, it's international break.

• 1:49Speaker 02

  But we thought we'd do a special today.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  We had a couple of ideas. What can we do this special that isn't...

• 1:54Speaker 02

  We thought something really fun, didn't we?

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Who's better, Ronaldo or Messi? So we've got a few stats, some opinions.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Oh, some opinions. We're gonna talk about the, like...

• 2:06Speaker 03

  No, we're not. Before we switch off, we're not gonna do that.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  I'd rather die. Oh, God, yeah. We all know the answer's Neymar. Am I right?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  We're gonna do, we're gonna pick our dream team, but not our dream team, because who cares?

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  Ronaldo and Messi and Neymar.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Oh, what a three. No, we're gonna pick...

• 2:31Speaker 02

  It's RMC.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Our dream...

• 2:33Speaker 02

  RMN.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 2:35Speaker 02

  RMN.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  RMN?

• 2:37Speaker 02

  NMR.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  It depends what position you're playing in.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Who cares?

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Okay. We're gonna do our dream television broadcast setup from all eras. It's gonna be...

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Host.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Host.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Three pundits.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Commentator, co-coms.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  And then, you know, the person and the other footballer that stand at the side of the pitch and let you...

• 3:00Speaker 03

  So pitch side host, and then one or two of the...

• 3:03Speaker 02

  And one at the pitch.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  One, otherwise it gets busy, doesn't it?

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Where do you want to start?

• 3:07Speaker 02

  I think you've got to start with the host, haven't you?

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Look, I already know where you're going.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Okay. Desi Des.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Des, well, Des Lynam.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Des Lynam.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  And I feel like you're immovable on that. Have you ever heard him recite the Kipling poem, "If"? Well, look, Des Lynam's an absolute legend.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Can I give you some of Des's best lines?

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  "When England played Tunisia, France 98, 1.30pm on a Monday."

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  "Shouldn't you be at work to open the show?"

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Oh, that's nice.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  And then he called his autobiography, "Shouldn't I have been at work?"

• 3:40Speaker 03

  "Shouldn't I have been at work?"

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Because it's not work.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  It's not, because it's not work. Isn't that nice?

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Isn't that nice? Did you not see that clip that was going around about a month ago? Of England v Germany in Euro 96?

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  And he said, "Remember where you were when you watched this, because in 30 years' time, someone will ask you." That was how he ended the show. And then everyone was cheering it 30 years on.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Josh, is this gonna be an hour of you telling me Des Lynam things?

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Ideally.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Okay, what else you got?

• 4:06Speaker 02

  England v Germany, same game.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  He opened it. You know, there's a match on.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Well, he's definitely got a, he's definitely got a thing, hasn't he?

• 4:16Speaker 02

  What?

• 4:17Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? He's just said, "Oh, I'm a little bit quirky, you know." So, right, Des Lynam. So is there anyone else that's coming in to...

• 4:23Speaker 02

  Well, Lineker would be your other option, wouldn't he?

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Do you know what? I find them too, a little bit too statesmanlike.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  You want a rebel, you want a punk rocker.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  No, but I love Chappers.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Oh, rip up the rulebook.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Rip up the rulebook.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Throw it away. The BBC can't cage Chappers, can they?

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've gone for the real Sex Pistol with Mark Chapman, the guy that's been at the BBC 40 years.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  Unless you're going for Mark Chapman, then kill John Lennon.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's who I was going for. Yeah, I'm a punky dude, yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Woodwatch, to be fair.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Shouldn't you be in prison?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Welcome to the show.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Welcome to the show.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  No, no, so, look.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  Mark Chapman, excellent. I'd say, we've already discussed, the three Match of the Day hosts are all excellent. Kate, Logan, Chapman. I've got a lot of time for all of them.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  None of them will compete with Lynam for you.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  No, because, in the same way, Rob, a band will never come along that could hit you like Oasis because of the age you were when they came along.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Are we, is this rose-tinted glasses with Lynam? Because he had no competition, he was just the only...

• 5:36Speaker 02

  No, he did. He had Bob, Bib Wilson, Bob Wilson on ITV.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Oh, did Bob Wilson do ITV? Jimmy Hill used to do Match of the Day before Lynam.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, and Jimmy Hill was a punter. Jimmy Hill was a bit much.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  Kenneth Walthamstow?

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Kenneth Walthamstow.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Is that what he's saying?

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Walthamstow. He was the commentator in 1966.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  Oh, do you know who I would say is excellent?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Pogach.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  I don't mind Pog's. Pog's is good.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  I like Pog's.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  I like Pog's, but he's not defining the genre I like. Lineker is great, but Lineker is, I think he'd say this himself, heavily influenced by Lynam. I think that's fair. Lynam's created this kind of cool, laid-back host thing.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  I think, there's a lot, I've got a lot of time for James Richardson from Football Italia.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Yes, but yeah, no, he's not got the gravitas to host like that. Look, I love Chappers, but I agree. Lynam, if you see him, if it was like, like genie rubbing the lamp and it comes alive and you see Lynam there saying, "Welcome to the show," everyone's buzzing.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  I might have to agree with Des Lynam. Are we picking one team?

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Let's pick one type. Mike, are you happy with that?

• 6:38Speaker 04

  I think one team, yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Are you happy with Des Lynam?

• 6:41Speaker 04

  I would pick Des Lynam.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Any other?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  100%. No, I think, because you want your host to have, I want my host to be like the captain of Titanic's of paddling time, but like someone...

• 6:52Speaker 03

  The Concordia?

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, the Concordia.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  I don't want them to be...

• 6:59Speaker 03

  Didn't even know I knew that word. How does that happen in my head?

• 7:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  As I said that, I went, "What's the Concordia?", as you were laughing.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  It's called the flow state.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Then I was like, "Oh, I've just got a boat logged." Was that flow state?

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, that was one of the problems, the flow state, it took them to the rocks.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  I was a captain, wasn't I? No, sorry. So you need someone who feels like...

• 7:19Speaker 04

  I think they should have a different presence. Like, I think Chappers is brilliant, but he feels like one of us, which is what is so endearing. I think you want an elder statesman. You want a sort of level of class and control. There's, I think Lynam is unflappable.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I think Logan's got that these days. I think of all the people these days, she's the stateswoman of like, do you know what I mean? She's Logan's, you know...

• 7:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. The thing about Lynam, I always thought...

• 7:45Speaker 03

  I'd like Laura Woods.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Laura Woods is good.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  But I think she's more of a pitch side for me.

• 7:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Would you put Laura Woods pitch side?

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Well, I don't want to jump ahead, but I'm not moving Lynam for Woods, but I'd have a pitch side.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, okay.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  To be in charge of that broadcast.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Well, do you want to do pitch side now?

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Well, sorry, I've dragged this there, but it's only because she came up.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Well, let's do it. Okay, so pitch side.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Have we missed anyone? Dave Jones?

• 8:09Speaker 02

  So let's discuss pitch side.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  Matt Lorenzo?

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Who's Matt Lorenzo?

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Ed Chamberlain.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Ed Chamberlain? Who's Ed Chamber?

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Ed Chamberlain's from Sky.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. Richard, we've missed, look...

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Oh, let's have a discussion.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  There's a Richard Keys question.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  I'm sure Richard Keys would put himself in the mix.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Well, when Richard Keys says he reinvented football, I think it might have been all the millions of pounds B Sky B paid for the rights to the Premier League that changed football, wasn't it?

• 8:37Speaker 02

  I, so...

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Look, we've got the guys...

• 8:39Speaker 02

  When we decided we were gonna do this, in my head, I said...

• 8:42Speaker 03

  We've got, we've got the rights to the Premier League, but before we go ahead of it, is Richard Keys available? Because if we wanted...

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Well, we'll have to get him out of his contract at TV AM.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Was he on that?

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Imagine him in the morning.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Before we did this, I was, in my head, I thought, I'm gonna come into this completely positive.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  You know, this isn't about going, oh, I think, you know, this pundit's rubbish. This is about celebrating.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Absolutely, but I've got.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  But I would say, when it comes to Richard Keys, he's putting out so much anger into the world. You've got to be able to reflect a tiny bit back on him.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  Well, personally, I rated, always rated Andy Gray.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  I thought he was great. There's loads of clipable moments about when Owen scored and stuff like that.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  It's, it's, it's, it's an easy job to do badly, the host.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Only a few do it really, really well.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  And I wouldn't put Richard Keys in that for you.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Is that too negative?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  I think that's, not considering what he says week after week about other people.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Fair enough, but Keys not in the conversation. Well, you can't have Keys, not now, not, not in his current form.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Or, or any of them.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Hi, welcome to the show. Can you take that lilac Zara cap off, please?

• 9:57Speaker 03

  Everyone's in a suit. It's the rubber genie in the lamp.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  This is my next question, actually. I want, I want a dress code.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Which era of dress are you putting it, because Des is gonna be in a suit.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Well, I, I think the era between full suit and then obligatory massive white trainers, blue trousers, and then a blue top.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Like, that, that Monday Night Football thing where they're squeaking around, well, it looks like they're working in a massive Currys. That, there's a level in between where it's sort of smart night out clothes, but not.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  But not too cash.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  And then Des Lynam can wear his suit.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  Maybe a light coloured suit.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  I wanna see him in a, in a grey, grey suit with a blue shirt.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  That's what we're, you can wear that, yeah. Okay. So you're gonna have Laura Woods. Can we discuss the role on the side of the pitch?

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  He's an odd one, isn't he?

• 10:50Speaker 03

  Well, for some broadcast, it's the main place they film it. And that is the whole thing. But stood up is a different energy to sat down, isn't it?

• 10:57Speaker 02

  But, but say it's an England game.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  And you've got your, your BBC people in their green box, right, in Salford. And then they go to, um, someone like, I don't know, Martin Keown stood on the edge of the pitch. And he does, yeah, three minutes in the middle, three minutes at the start and three minutes at the end. And this is no reflection on Martin Keown. What can he offer that's different by being in the stadium?

• 11:25Speaker 03

  I think it's. Intensity.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  He can offer intensity.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Before we get to the pitch, where's Lynam sitting? I see them in that glass box at the stadium.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Lynam's in there.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that glass box at the stadium.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  I love that. So we've got him there. Also, no, or.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Ideally, half time, someone's, someone's creating a lot of noise on the box and they're getting slightly distracted and trying to carry on with their chat.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  But, sec, hang on, I know we're jumping around, but if we, if this is the dream pick, we could pick the dream location. So they, we could put them back on the rooftop in New York. We could put them back in that square in Russia.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  So.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  But we, we're getting them back, everyone back in their prime.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I'd like them at the ground. I'd like them at the ground. I think.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  Lynam at the ground doesn't feel right.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Was he never at the ground?

• 12:09Speaker 02

  He was at the ground.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  He might have been, but that doesn't feel like his natural habitat.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Oh, right. So where are we putting them?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  No, I, I, I'm pushing.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  That.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  New York, I want New York or a rooftop.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  It's a big game. I do like that New York, ITV New York.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  Remember the beach in Brazil?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, do I?

• 12:24Speaker 03

  They sat on, sat on sort of like weird chairs on the beach in Brazil.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Was there a, do you know who we haven't mentioned? Adrian Childs. I always thought he was much underrated.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  He always looked angry, even just resting.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? He's got a bit of a, oh, for fuck's sake.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  He looks like he's walked out his front door and forgot his bin day. Every day.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  So we've got Lynam with, saying in the stadium with the window.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Okay, let's go down and finish the pitch side since we've started it, and then we'll come back for the pundits.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Gary Logan can do it down there.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Laura Woods.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Pugatch could go pitch side.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  You get the Sky people.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  There's like a guy that would always be like down there, isn't there?

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Oh, Jeff Shreves used to do it.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Jeff Shreves.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  So he might, can I say what I like?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  I'm not picking Jeff Shreves in my dream team because I don't know what he looks like. And I have no disrespect to Jeff Shreves. No disrespect to Jeff Shreves.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  But that's a different role. We're talking about like, we go down the side of pitch now because they're there.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  From a comedy point of view, personally, Laura Woods, Peter Crouch, Zola.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Or Joe Cole can fit that hole as well. But it's always nice to see someone really tall next to someone really small.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  I think that's great for morale. Shakiri and.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  And Shakira.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  And Shakira.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Well, if it's dream team, why not two of the Spice Girls?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  I don't think they give a use for that.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  I like Laura Woods down there. She's great down there. But I don't know who else.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Who are you getting? Like, are you, are you playing a specialist down there?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, that's fun down there. That's where the fun happens.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Okay, well, I'd push for Dion Dublin.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Really?

• 14:02Speaker 02

  I love Dion Dublin.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Mmm, that is.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Curveball.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Huge curveball.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  All right. That's not going in. I, I, I'll keep him on my dream homes under the hammer lineup.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it wasn't a no. I just wondered if they were.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  No, Dublin, Dublin came out of nowhere.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  I just like Dion Dublin. I think he's fun. I think he's got a good energy to him.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Who would you have down there?

• 14:21Speaker 04

  Chris Packham.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Chris Packham. Moaning about the worms getting trodden.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  All right, calm down, Packham.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Um, who would I, it's difficult because they need to kind of offer something that the pundits don't.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Let's, we could go back as well. So this doesn't have to be like current era.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Do you know who I'd have? Do you know who I'd have? Because I want him involved in some way. Brian Clough.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  Of course, because, like, yes.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Because he was like the ultimate pundit that just went for it.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  So Brian Clough, but you don't want him in the, because we've got three spaces in the studio.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  I think he's a bit of a strong taste in the studio. Do you know what I mean?

• 14:58Speaker 03

  You couldn't have him and Keane, could you?

• 15:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  And I think Keane's gonna be in there, isn't he?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  So Brian, but I think, well, can we have two down there? Because I think Brian Clough's a lot for Laura Woods to take on her own. You need a, a crouch or someone, or a Joe Cole, he's great down there. You need someone who's a bit more fun. Joe Cole's brilliant.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not saying he's not. I just, I don't picture him down there.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  He wears a baker boy cap sometimes. You like that?

• 15:21Speaker 04

  No, I saw him at Oasis. Thierry Henry's very good.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  He's quite playful. He's quite playful.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  I love Henry. I'm a hero of, you know, he's a hero. I'm a hero of his.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  I'm a hero of his. He's a hero of mine, but I don't know, I feel like.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Do you know who I think would be good down there? Because he wears, it's a good chance to wear a nice coat.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Redknapp.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Harry or Jamie?

• 15:46Speaker 02

  Jamie.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Jamie Redknapp. Yeah, Jamie's a good shout.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Because he's gonna dilute Clough. He's gonna provide some normality down there.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  He can get his foot on the ball and dictate play.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you go to Jamie Redknapp and he'll say, you know, some normal things. And then Clough will go, I think their goalie's a piece of shit.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  But then also, don't think, we could have like Jose Mourinho, Ferguson, Wenger.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Jose Mourinho and Clough?

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Yes, please.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  That would be good.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Not the, you can't put them outside. That'd be, Jose and Clough.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Jose and Clough. Well, because also. Is Jose as good as a pundit? I think Jose's better when he's angry about his own team.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Well, I think Mourinho's better on a chair. Going like, hmm, you know what I mean? I think you get the, I don't think, I think he'll feel disrespected about being pitch side.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's felt disrespected by fucking anything, Mourinho. You lived in an hotel for two and a half years, mate, chill out.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  It's so Alan Partridge, isn't it?

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  How have you got away with that? I've been to that hotel as well.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  It's not like, it's a lovely hotel, but it's not like a big resort where.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  It is, it's like a block of flats, like.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Just your room. I don't know if it's gonna flow right with Jose Mourinho.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  It's not a good mix, is it?

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Who, who else is there? Like, current, there's like Steven Mannerman, Gerrard.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Maybe, maybe I'd have Ian Wright down there.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Ian Wright, Brian Clough? I feel like Ian Wright's like, up, up top level with Lynam and.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Are we gonna go with our three pundits? Well, maybe we go with our pundits and then we see who's left over.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Okay. Roy Keane is box office.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  First name on the team sheet.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  You can't not have Roy Keane. Gary Neville. I, I think Gary Neville's better co-comment than he is in the pundit.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Can I just say something?

• 17:23Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  There's a world in which you go, do you know what? When you pick your international team, you don't just pick the best players, you pick who plays together best.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Is there a better trio on earth than Neville, Keane, Wright? It is unbelievable.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 17:42Speaker 03

  That's too.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  They fulfil different roles. You've got the nerd, you've got the angry guy, you've got the kind of really cool, happy guy who, you know.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, is Michael the angry guy then?

• 17:52Speaker 04

  I get what you're saying, but I would feel disappointed in that selection because it already exists.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  I want something that we can't have.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  Chuck a Jack Charlton in there. Chuck Martin, Chuck Charlton was brilliant.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Martin O'Neill was good.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Martin O'Neill. I like Brian Clough up there.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Okay, let's put Brian Clough up there.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  In place of?

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Well, we haven't got anyone yet. Brian Clough and Roy Keane also have got history because they used to.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Do they get on though?

• 18:16Speaker 02

  Well, why don't we have Brian Clough, Roy Keane?

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Imagine them two arguing. That would be amazing.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  And Martin O'Neill, because then they, they've all got the.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  It's a bit Nottingham Forest heavy, isn't it?

• 18:24Speaker 02

  And they're covering Nottingham Forest.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  No, I don't think Martin O'Neill. I love Ian Wright. But again, it's a very modern era. I, I'd, I'd have Ian Wright pitch side.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  If you've got Brian Clough, Roy Keane and Ian Wright, it's too much.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Well, Ian Wright's doing a lot of the calming down, isn't he? But you need a big personality to be up there with them two.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. But you do need someone who's gonna say, come on, guys, this is a bit of fun, which Ian Wright does.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Brian Clough, I think is amazing. Roy Keane, but then we see Roy Keane a lot, but then, I think them two would argue.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Shall we leave the third spot for the most? We've got Des Lynam, Brian Clough, Roy Keane. Pitch side, we've got Laura Woods.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  I think you need Ian Wright to chill it out up there.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Mark, I tell you what you need up there. If you were gonna get it really eggy, Mark Lawrenson. Can you imagine that energy?

• 19:10Speaker 02

  But then you're like, there's three guys here that are being paid to have the worst time of their life. What's going on?

• 19:15Speaker 03

  I'd say who's a breath freshener?

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Or Des.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Um, Garth Crooks.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Garth Crooks? I liked Kaz Khaney in the World Cup.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  She's good.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  She's good. I quite like that idea.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Brian Clough's a problem here, which, there's too much dialogue here in Brian Clough chat.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Why don't we get rid of Brian Clough?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Brian Clough's gonna come out after man here. We should just wash his mouth up.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Why don't we just not have Brian Clough? He's causing so many issues.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  He is, isn't he? No one can work with him.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  Oh, what about Nigel Clough? Nigel Clough, Brian Clough. Who, also as well, let's open this up.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Oh no.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  Pundit, no, pundits from like the eighties and nineties.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Alan Hansen?

• 19:52Speaker 03

  There's Alan Hansen, he was top level. Who else are we missing here that doesn't do them?

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Trevor Brooking, but he's not, he's not a Hall of Famer, Trevor Brooking.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  No, but I'm just saying we miss the names.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, Alan Hansen, Trevor Brooking, Mark Lawrenson. Then you've got your Ruud Hulits.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Ruud Hulits, yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Do you know who I?

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Vieira Canavaro, they did the World Cup, didn't they?

• 20:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought Fabregas was very good.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Mick McCarthy. Brian Clough, Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Too big.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Can you imagine though?

• 20:15Speaker 02

  It's like a fucking Ken Loach movie.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Okay, or, or Mick McCarthy on the pitch side so they can have a bit of war of words.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Roy Keane and Mick McCarthy.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  I feel like people are shouting pundits at us.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm saying Clough, Keane, Wright.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Ian Wright, Roy Keane, Brian Clough.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  So, so we're moving Gary Neville into the commentary box?

• 20:38Speaker 03

  As the co-com?

• 20:39Speaker 02

  Double co-com, double co-com.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  You've got to have McCoist in there.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Ally McCoist has to be.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  You've got to have Ally McCoist.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  Ally McCoist is the only immovable object. You can't have two, because I listened the other day, right, when it was Tottenham Villa.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Two co-coms does feel mad, doesn't it?

• 20:53Speaker 03

  But it was, uh, the main commentator, then it was, um, Ally McCoist, and then Steven Gerrard barely spoke. Honestly, I counted it, 15 minutes. And then I think Fletch went, what did you think about that, Steven? It was like, oh yeah, it was a great save. Jeez, imagine what he's on.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  But he's good when he speaks, he just didn't speak. Okay, at the moment, we've got Ian Wright.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't need two co-coms. So we're having Ally McCoist in the box. Is there an argument for having Gary Neville on the pitch?

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Pitch side with Laura Woods and then one other.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I think Laura Woods, Brian Clough, Gary Neville, pitch side.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  Laura Woods, Brian Clough, Gary Neville, pitch side.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Because I think Neville and Brian Clough will argue.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  That's a good bit of sparring.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Then you've got Ian Wright and Roy Keane in the main pundit box.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, and so we need another pundit.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  Right, who's our commentator? Options?

• 21:40Speaker 02

  I don't, can I be honest?

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  I don't really notice the commentators.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Hey, if you can't be honest here, what can you be?

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Um, I don't really notice the commentators.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  Oh, I do.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Do you?

• 21:52Speaker 03

  So let's list them, right?

• 21:54Speaker 02

  I'd go Barry Davis.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, I used to love Barry Davis.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love Barry Davis.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  John Motson.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I'm not a huge Moti fan.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  He annoyed me when he kept on talking about cutlery during the Japan Korea World Cup because it was on early in the morning. I was like, mate, no one's sat around a breakfast table and the sofa is asleep.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  He was obsessed.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  So Martin Tyler.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  In his heyday, unreal. Peter Drewery's really good. And because his current people forget that, I think Fletch is actually really good.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't, I like Fletch, but I don't think I want someone who's called Fletch.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  That's my problem with Fletch.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think, I think it devalues.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  What he does.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  He needs to be called Darren Fletcher and it's.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  He needs to have more respect.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  But he's losing respect because of Fletch.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  I also think it doesn't help that his name is the same as a Premier League player.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  That's a problem as well. I wonder whether that's why it's become Darren Fletch.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  I thought it was Darren Fletcher.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Okay, well, let's rename him.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  What should we call him?

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Steve Anderson.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  He's a cricketer, really?

• 22:47Speaker 02

  No, that's James Anderson.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  I think, I love Jim Rosenthal.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  He's not a commentator, he's a host.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  No, he's a host. Oh.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  He's commentating on a lot of stuff.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Do you know what? Now you've brought him up, I'm 50/50, I need him in line.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  Are you?

• 23:00Speaker 04

  Oh, and steady.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  Steady.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  I love Jim Rosenthal.

• 23:03Speaker 04

  I love Jim Rosenthal.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love Jim Rosenthal. I love Tom Rosenthal.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  Um, okay, so who are we going for? Barry, why, why, oh, Clive Tealsley?

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's good.

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  He's good. Um, but I'd go Barry Davis.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Why?

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Why about the Germans? And frankly, who cares?

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Is that?

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Great.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Right, I can't really, I remember thinking I liked Barry Davis, but I can't.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  He's very poetic, Barry Davis.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Can I try and find some of his quotes?

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Oh, this is for the Dennis Bergkamp goal, the World Cup.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  My only worry is, he sounds very old school British broadcaster, will McCoist struggle to get in with the banter? Because it's different eras. Also, he's Scottish, English, posh, doesn't always work.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I'm not sure about them working. I love Barry Davis's voice, but I don't know if they're gonna connect. Do we, is it?

• 24:10Speaker 02

  So who do you want with McCoist? Rapsine Espy?

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Hey, all I'm saying, all I'm.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Nicholas Sturgeon?

• 24:17Speaker 03

  No, I just think you've got, it's again, it's like, you can have two really good people, but if they don't connect, that needs to connect more than anything.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  I'm getting dragged back to Peter Drewery and Fletch, but is it too modern?

• 24:30Speaker 02

  I, I don't know enough about commentators. Jonathan Pearce?

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Jonathan Pearce is good. Oh, head shake there from Michael.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  I, I think he's a brilliant radio commentator. He over-gills the lily on telly.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Do you know who, Mike Costello is an amazing commentator for boxing and athletics. He's incredible. I can't, I'm not suggesting him, it's madness.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  He'd be wild.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  I'll save that for boxing hell.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  So what do you get? Adam Smith or Mike Costello?

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Steve Buntz.

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• 26:23Speaker 03

  I feel like we're missing, I feel like we're missing people here.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  We're not, because I don't think, I think, here's something I'm gonna say.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  What about the Italian bloke that goes, "Golatto"? He's good.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  Shall we have him?

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Okay, we'll have him.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, just that for 19 years.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  I think there's something about a commentator that, like a referee, you don't want to notice them.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? If you notice a commentator.

• 26:47Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  They're not doing their job.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Too much personality.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  It seems like if McCoist is the immovable, who's?

• 26:53Speaker 02

  I think we're gonna go with McCoist.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Brian Moore?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Brian Moore. I think we go with McCoist and the guy who's as Golatto.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  God, that's madness. That's, no, that's too, that's too wacky. Look, I don't mind a bit of whimsy, but I'm taking this serious.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? Because I, it's all a bit of a laugh, but if we get there, then all of a sudden Golatto turns up, McCoist is trying to get in a couple of gags about AC/DC, and he's going, "Golatto!"

• 27:22Speaker 04

  What does he say if it's a 0-0?

• 27:24Speaker 03

  "Golatto!"

• 27:28Speaker 02

  Who else then?

• 27:29Speaker 03

  Okay, so we have got, to recap, Des Lionham in the host seat, Roy Keane, Ian Wright, Brian Clough, no.

• 27:35Speaker 04

  No.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  No, Roy Keane, Ian Wright and someone.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  Gap. Laura Woods with Gary Neville and.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Brian Clough.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  Brian Clough.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  That feels the strongest.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Ally McCoist.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Ally McCoist with to be confirmed commentator.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  I think Rob's point is correct. It needs to be someone, Ally McCoist is like a false nine. You can't put a false nine into like a 4-4-2.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  I think Fletch, I think he needs Fletch. He knows how he works.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  It's only because you've met Fletch.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Right, okay, look, if you were picking, if you were picking your favourite podcast, like show, yeah, you're great, so I might pick you, yeah? But, and you might love, you know, Joe Rogan.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  I love Joe Rogan.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Theo Von, Francis Foster, whoever it may be.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Of course, the guys I hang out with at the bar.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, all those guys.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  And then they're gonna go, oh, Josh is good, but it needs to play off Beckett. So I think, on my instinct.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  You've overruled that as a theory with Neville, Wright and Keane work brilliantly together. That's been deemed too boring in that situation.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  No, but I think, no, but I think commentary and co-coms needs to gel. It's okay for pundits to disagree. In some cases, encouraged.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  I'd say, I'd say let's, let's dream, I'd say let's go Barry Davis.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Well, look, we're rolling the dice on chemistry, but I'm happy to roll that dice.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Let's roll that dice.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Barry Davis, Ally McCoist. Because basically, commentary with co-coms is harmonizing.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  You're singing a duet. Where in punditry, it's just three solo acts.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  I think you're gonna get a lot of Barry Davis not getting the joke, but it plowing on anyway.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then McCoist enjoys that.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Because McCoist won't be deterred.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  I think that's it for commentary.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Jamie O'Hara, Jason Cundy, great chemistry.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  Too much for my tastes.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Too angry.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Unless, now this really changes the goalposts, we pick the game and the result, and then that will impact how good the pundits are.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  I'm not having Chelsea v Tottenham with Jamie O'Hara and Danny Murphy, whatever he's called, Jason Cundy.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  It's Chelsea Tottenham in the FA Cup final. Tottenham lose last minute winner, Cundy's in a round mask, that in there.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  I don't even know which one supports which.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Jamie Harrow supports Tottenham.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  But didn't Jason Cundy play for Tottenham?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, he did, yeah. But he don't care.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  He don't care.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  So we're not going to pick, it's too complicated picking the game. Because if you pick a game where Man United lose and Gary Neville's got...

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Oh, you'd want Gary Neville. Gary Neville's got to be on the team sheet somewhere. Oh, he's downstairs with Brian Clough.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. So are we picking, ideally, is Manchester United lose a game?

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Well, ideally. I'm thinking, well, this is the World Cup final, that's what I'm imagining.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  But then you've got to go international, or you've got to start talking about slant hands.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  England are in the World Cup final.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Gareth Southgate?

• 30:11Speaker 02

  I don't...

• 30:13Speaker 03

  Knows the answer.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Knows.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Lovely guy.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  Lovely guy.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  No, thank you, Gareth.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm just taking my shoes off.

• 30:21Speaker 03

  Do you have certain people, not Gareth Southgate, but like, it's quite difficult to move this all without feeling like it's about him. So if there's any people, you know, like you see at work or on the school run or whatever, and you can't explain why, but when they come up to you and start talking, all you want to say is say the names like Marcus or whatever.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  You just sort of go, not now, Marcus. There's certain people in life that I just, that is the perfect thing I want to say to them and then they just go...

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Is that what Gareth Southgate is to you?

• 30:47Speaker 03

  I think if Man United have just been beaten 3-0, or it's a World Cup final, and Ian Wright's arguing, Brian Clough's chipping in, and Gareth Southgate goes, excuse me, I go, not now, Gareth.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  No. He wants to talk about the masculinity crisis in England.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we'll do that on a one-on-one on my, you know, companion piece podcast I do.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  But right now, Gareth, not now, please.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. Parrelling hell, we'll have you.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Oh, 100%. Anytime you're around, Gareth.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll have you in a heartbeat. Um, okay, I'm having, who's our last pundit then? With Ian Wright and Roy Keane.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  Ian Wright and Rocky.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  What, give a job description, what role you want to fulfil it.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  I've got an idea.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Alf, Ingharland, England Norway World Cup final.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Yes, please, 100%.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  That would be incredible.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  Is this entire team match specific?

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Well, I'd enjoy Alf Ingharland versus Roy Keane in any match.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Man City, Man United, Derby, Manchester United, Man City, Derby.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  You've got three or four games a season where that works.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  True.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  And then who gives a shit about Alf Ingharland outside of that?

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Well, because of Roy Keane.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it would get tiring, wouldn't it?

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Well, they're not doing every game, it's like you've got one game, if I said to you tonight, Michael.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Are you going to watch Stoke versus Derby? No. Do you know the pundits, Alf Ingharland and Roy Keane? Yes, I mean, 100%.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  But if you said that to me every single week.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  True.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  It's too strong a flavour, it's like, I love chorizo, I don't want it for every dinner.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  Okay, fair point, I'll take that point. But that would be, if you're picking a game, that's got to be it. But let's remove Alf Ingharland from the hot seat.

• 32:21Speaker 04

  This is, this is an entire season, and it's a season where there's an international tournament in the summer, so all of these things come into play.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Who are we missing?

• 32:30Speaker 02

  I don't feel like...

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Rooney? Who are the big players that have retired recently? Beckham, Beckham.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  No, I don't think he's got anything to say.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  Well, I think he has, but I don't think he'll say it.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Well, unless you pay him, then he'll say it.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  The thing about David Beckham is he's, he's too trained, you want people that are...

• 32:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, that are open.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  That are open.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  And a bit more open to big thinking and not... Matt Lettis, yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Now we're talking.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  Now we're talking.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Because they'd go, he'd go, let's just have a think about this, guys, because, uh, I was told that the world was heating up, but here we are, and they've got green grass, and it's the middle of June, there's no brown grass, so what's the problem?

• 33:15Speaker 04

  I'm just asking the questions.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  I'm just asking the questions.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  I'm just asking the questions.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, have a look above the pitch, what are those lines in the sky?

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Chemtrails.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Chemtrails.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Okay, so, no, the mystery isn't what's going on with VAR, it's what's going on higher up than that.

• 33:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would think, again, might get a bit much for the whole season.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  And then he'd go, do you know why he was down injured? Because he had the vaccine four years ago.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, let's not do Matt Lettis, yeah.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Who's good or, I quite like Clinton Morrison, he's a bit left field.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  I do quite like Clinton Morrison, he's quite fun, isn't he?

• 33:51Speaker 03

  There's a level of underrated pundit that didn't play for the top teams.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  That's really good.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  And funny. But I like Crouch, Evan Crouch is good, I know he played at the top level.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  No one's signed out Mika yet.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Mika, yes, of course. Oh, head shake from...

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Um, I'm sure he's a lovely guy, but he's just a hired laugh.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  Hey, mate. Don't have a go at me.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Bloody living.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Or have a go at Bill on this show.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  I'd take Bill over Mika all day long.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Bill?

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Bill, it's Bill.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  It's Bill, it's Bill.

• 34:25Speaker 02

  It's Bill.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  It's Bill, yes, Bill Wright, and yet, and it's a Tottenham game.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. So...

• 34:32Speaker 03

  That, yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  So, so let's run through.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  Shall I ring him up and explain our picks?

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  I can't keep ringing him.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  Go on, ring him up, and run him through and do him last, so this is our final picks, and on the pundits.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  Right, let's ring Bill. I'll ring him more than Louie's coming up as a favourite.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  I've never spoken to him so much in my life.

• 34:59Speaker 06

  Hello.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  Hello, mate, you all right?

• 35:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, you all right?

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, so Bill, don't panic, we're not going to talk about Tottenham, I'm here with Michael and Josh on the podcast for Football in Hell.

• 35:08Speaker 06

  You're on the podcast now?

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're doing a, we're doing one now, yeah. Okay, so this is a nice call, we aren't talking about Tottenham, we are designing the perfect TV broadcast setup for a game of football from pundits and hosts and commentators from every era. We want to tell you who we've picked and we want your opinion.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Okay, we're picking three pundits and a host, a commentator and a co-commentator, and a pitch side host with two pundits with them, okay?

• 35:39Speaker 06

  All right.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  So, host, we've gone for Des Lyneham.

• 35:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, legend, the Lion.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  We'll come to the pundits at the end.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  We'll come to the pundits, and tell us if there's any you disagree with, but you're happy with Des Lyneham, then pitch...

• 35:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, just so, so, so, so, just say something else, have you not, this is my other theory about all this and football and everything. Do you know Liverpool only, in our generation, pundits, all Alan Hansen, Mark Lons, they were all Liverpool, and they were shit when they were the pundits. Now, they're, now that, but then when they left, Liverpool became good, and then Man United are shit now because all the pundits made it.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  This is a good theory. It's too much negativity.

• 36:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I think there's, I think that's such a big thing and affects your team, like on media and just affects the team.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 36:21Speaker 06

  All these Man United pundits now, Man United are shit now.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  And of course, I suppose, is it difficult for Tottenham when Michael Dawson talks about them?

• 36:32Speaker 06

  I like Dawson, don't go for him.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Anyway, anyway, so here we go, so we've got Des Lyneham's host.

• 36:38Speaker 06

  Love him.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Then we've got pitch side, Laura Woods, Brian Clough and Gary Neville.

• 36:42Speaker 06

  Oh, God, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't, would you be honest or just...

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Be honest if you want, you don't have to say what you want.

• 36:49Speaker 06

  No.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Or replace him if you want.

• 36:51Speaker 06

  More names.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  So we've gone, and then we've commentator, we've gone for Barry Davis and Ally McCoist.

• 36:57Speaker 06

  So I love Ally, but do you know, Ally's had, people are getting a bit funny with Ally now, if you, I don't know if you've noticed that people are going, oh, he's always positive, but I think that's great, and I think, do you know what? I think what Ally McCoist does, which is brilliant, and I think this, it's that thing of like, he's neutral, I want my...

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 37:16Speaker 06

  I want them to be neut, I don't want to know what team they support.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Then we've got, come to our pundits, okay? So we've got Brian Clough and Gary Neville down with Laura Woods pitch side, getting a bird's eye view of it all, a bird's eye view, just a close up view, no, that's terrible, no, I meant of the pitch, sorry. And then in the studio, we've got Roy Keane.

• 37:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Ian Wright.

• 37:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  And now, we genuinely discussed this, Bill, and then through all the different options, we picked you.

• 37:45Speaker 06

  No, what do you want me for? What am I, what am I adding?

• 37:49Speaker 03

  The game's Tottenham Arsenal FA Cup final.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 06

  Do you know what, there isn't, there isn't, there isn't many Tottenham, there aren't many Tottenham people and non-pundits anymore, are there?

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Oh, he's talked himself into it now?

• 38:01Speaker 03

  Okay, no, yeah, but this is all a big fantasy, fantasy laugh, but if you actually think you're ready for it, go on.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  Is this why you're at Sky, Bill? Were you trying to anger your way into a pundit role?

• 38:11Speaker 03

  I think he must have been...

• 38:11Speaker 06

  I've been one day, one day, what would I chat about?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  No, we just, we were struggling to find the right energy, we thought you'd be perfect.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, we thought it would be a good energy to mix up Wright and Keane.

• 38:19Speaker 06

  You're lovely, aren't you?

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, Bill, um...

• 38:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, I love, I love Roy, you know, me, Ian Wright and Roy Keane.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, we're just waiting to hear about from Des Lyneham and Barry Davis's agents, once that's sorted, we're in.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Bill, thank you very much, and congratulations on making the cup.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:36Speaker 06

  Thanks, guys.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Cheers, love you, bye.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  He's brilliant, isn't he?

• 38:41Speaker 02

  That was a nice end, wasn't it?

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Lovely end, that, I think that's a perfect line up.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  I do, I think that's really good.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Certified Football in Hell, approved.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  Suggest people we've missed, let us know, anything.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Any other dream team, do you want to...

• 38:53Speaker 02

  If you met any of those people and you hated them, just let us know.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, uh, yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Particularly Bill.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  Well, we are, you know, we can substitute people in and out.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  See how it goes, but any other, uh, if there's any other dream team do you want us to pick, or any other things to discuss?

• 39:07Speaker 02

  We won't do a dream team, no, we're not going to say it.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  That kind of thing, so a bit more...

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Oh, I think Paolo Maldini's better than, you know, Luke Shaw.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do, so.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  End of discussion.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  So he's at left back, who's at right back?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  I don't know, I don't care, Cafu.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Dallow?

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Right, see you next time.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Bye.