S13 EP13: I LOVE / HATE the summer holidays

More adventures in parenting (and life) from Rob and Josh... The end of the summer holiday is approaching and it's safe to say it's taken a different toll on Rob and Josh as they approach the final hurdle.... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [email protected] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe the North American dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:32Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 02

  This episode is presented by TUI.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  You've got to love a family holiday, Josh.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?

• 1:06Speaker 03

  But do you know what the problem with holidays is?

• 1:08Speaker 02

  You don't get enough of them. That's the problem.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Exactly. So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why TUI gives you more.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love. Perfect beaches, mouthwatering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centres, swim-up suites and fun stuff for the kids.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  And now you can get even more by joining the brand new TUI Smiles Reward Club for free.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  We're talking members-only deals, personalised rewards from TUI and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and discover the TUI Smiles Reward Club at tui.co.uk.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Atol and Abta protected.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with.

• 1:55Speaker 04

  Maya, can you say Josh Whittaker? Dash. Can you say Rob Echett?

• 2:05Speaker 04

  Who, Rob? Beckett.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  That's a lot.

• 2:09Speaker 05

  Echett.

• 2:10Speaker 04

  Beckett.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Oh, leave it out.

• 2:12Speaker 04

  Well done. And you say, have a good show.

• 2:16Speaker 05

  Have a good show.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  I thought the Beckett was fine.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Aye, that mom's a hard taskmaster.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Can't say the word taskmaster without thinking about taskmaster, can you?

• 2:25Speaker 03

  I can. I didn't think of it until you said it.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Didn't you?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  No, after I got cheated out of the victory of the Champions of Champions.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Oh, there we go.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  With the prom扇 that didn't work. I've sort of buried it in a very sort of grown up way, actually.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've taken the moral high ground.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent, yeah.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Hello, you wonderful humans. I'd like to put myself forward for the oldest recorded introduction. This is Maya, three years ago. I couldn't remember where I saved it and just found it now. Maya is 6.5 years old. I've been listening to your podcast from the very beginning. When are your live shows coming back? Oh, give us a break, Amanda. I'm so busy.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  We're going to do, Josh, we're going to do them Saturday nights, just about midnight, when Strictly finishes and we're going to do a midnight show.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Back to back.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  And then Josh can go straight back in the studio Sunday for the results.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Exactly. Thank you for making me smile all these years, Amanda from Rutland.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Rutland. Sounds like everyone just shags.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  It does, doesn't it, Rob? You can't hear Rutland without, well, we both thought the same thing there. So there we go.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  You're right, Josh, you sound tired.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  We did choose 8am.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  We did choose 8am. You're away. You've got kids in the house?

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Kids in the house, kids in the house.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Can I ask a question? Why do you record next to a hallway when there's bedrooms?

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Because the wifi's not strong enough upstairs in the bedroom.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Southwest.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  We've got a seven-minute voice memo from Lou.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Seven minutes?

• 4:00Speaker 02

  So I thought, I've listened to it.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  You know, it's good stuff. Do we?

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Do you want to give me the highlights and then put the full message at the end?

• 4:08Speaker 02

  I listened to it two weeks ago when I got it, Rob. I've only just remembered this morning.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  We've got recorded for a couple of weeks because of some holidays. I've got loads to go through. I've basically.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  Are you just, are you just moving on from Lou?

• 4:19Speaker 03

  No, no, no. What I was going to say is I don't, I've been, no, I don't want to, you know, tempt another voice note out of Lou, but I've been the default parent for the last sort of 10 days. Because Lou's been working. I've not been working. I've been taking the reins with the kids. So I've got so much to talk about. So much has gone on. But I don't know where to start. We've got this seven-minute voice note. You're, are you okay?

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Or maybe Michael could edit out the seven-minute voice note. We could listen to the seven-minute voice note and Michael could put in fast forward so that it's like three minutes when we record, when it is at.

• 4:53Speaker 06

  That's a nice tease. We're recording you again on Monday. If you send it to me, Josh, I'll compress it and we can do a little sort of stop-start, like real-time response from Rob. I think seven minutes is a bit unyieldy if you've got a lot to say today already.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 06

  So we'll tease it for Monday.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Just a warning, Michael, you maybe get a voice note yourself if you edit her.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Yes, that is actually.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  About the voice note that you've compressed.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  Because if, if someone's giving their response to something, for the person who's getting the response to be in charge of the edit, that feels incredibly.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  So, so we have three men that do a podcast about parenting where most of the time it's our wives that are doing the parenting.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't try and backtrack now.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  No, but I'm saying that is the truth of it. And now we've slightly, well, I've, I sound like I've probably slagged off Lou. She's quite rightly responded with her right to reply. Now.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  It's about, it's about the hair extensions. It's about the hair extensions and the car in the.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Well, I tell you what, Michael can edit that. We'll put it on the next, next week's. Is that a good plan, Michael?

• 6:03Speaker 06

  I think Lou should just be grateful for the platform, to be honest. She should know her place.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Why, you just edit one up of us sounding mental, Michael? Just like, you know, just random words of just.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  Okay, let's do that for next time then. And that'll be easier because I think we've got a lot to unpack here. You're, I've, I've, I think I've got a cold, but I don't like saying that because I don't believe in colds.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  I think you're either fine or got the flu.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  And I haven't got the flu, but I don't know if I've just invented that because I'm self-employed.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  What do you mean? Because you can't take time off.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Yes. When I went to an office, I could really get behind a cold.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  I can really, oh, I've got a bit of a cold actually. And you could start going, I'm a bit bunged up and a bit like blimmin'. I've got a bit of a cold, bit of a nasty cold actually, so I shouldn't go in. But when you're self-employed, you just sort of go, well, I haven't got a cold. Just drive to Berwick-upon-Tweed. Drove to Crewe and back once on a Thursday night to do a gig in a union. So tired, I put pepperamis in my eyes to wake me up.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  That is bleak, isn't it?

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Chili ones because I thought I won't go to sleep if they hurt.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  It's so far you'd drive. It's so mad how far we'd drive.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  You always sound like you're dying. Are you all right?

• 7:21Speaker 02

  I'm just tired. I'm just tired. I'm just dipping for the line. You know, I'm coming around the final bend and my legs have gone. Do you know what I mean?

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Just in time for Strictly.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  The amount of people that have said to me, oh, it's good to have a rest before your busy autumn. You're like, are you fucking insane?

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Summer holidays is harder than working.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  I'm really going to be knackered with my, my busy autumn of working two days a week compared to having summer holidays where you're, you're parenting for seven days a week.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Are you not sleeping or is it what's tiring you out? What's, because I feel a bit tired, but I'm having fun. I'm loving the summer holidays. I'm enjoying it, but I'm tired.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just because you just get no time to yourself. That's what's tiring.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  So what, so you're not having any decompression time for old Joshie dubs?

• 8:07Speaker 02

  I think that's probably what it is, isn't it? I reckon I've worked for five days. Excluding podcasts, I reckon I've worked for two days, three days in eight weeks.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  Because when you work and you get time to yourself in the car or in the dressing rooms and stuff.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Exactly. So just having no moment to yourself for nearly two months.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  It's, it's mad because actually you feel sound. And more depleted than after your tour.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Oh, it's so much more tiring than your tour. Of course it is, because you're tour, Rob. You're working 90 minutes a day. And you're doing stuff like sitting around, looking at your phone backstage for two hours.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  And saying, yeah, I need to, I need to de-stress before the show, when really all you're doing is being lazy as fuck and looking at your phone.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Just a bit of a Josh type. What have you been, what have you been doing? What's, what's, what's been the day trips or where you've been going?

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Oh, actually, we had a lovely day at Devon Air Ambulance, where my son got to see the helicopter.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  So you went into Devon Air Ambulance as the triple?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Because I've talked about how much he likes helicopters. Devon Air Ambulance were like, would you like to come and see our helicopter? Of course.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  Oh, yes, please.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  It's, I'm just knackered. I'm just really tired.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  That's the truth of the matter. What time did you get up? Was it early start this morning?

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, because I was doing this, I got up at seven.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  You sound so sad.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  I'm just knackered. I'm just knackered and I, I've had a great summer. Actually, this has been like, until the last maybe week or two, this has been the easiest summer holiday we've had, but

• 9:46Speaker 02

  the kids need time away from each other, definitely.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Are they, are they crashing?

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Why not actually go? I think I'm quite lucky. Ours are all, ours, they're, you don't want to sound like, you know, people have kids that don't screw.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Five and eight.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  Eight and 10, five and eight years old.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Five and eight want very different things. Do you know what I mean? They want to watch, they want to watch different things on the TV or they want to play a different game or all those kinds of things. So you're constantly kind of dealing with that, but it's, I'm just, I'm ready to go back to work.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  No, we, we definitely need a bit of routine. Our kids go to bed so late now, they're getting off about eight in the morning, but then go to bed at 10.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. It's that as well. It's the fact that you're just all bedtime. Is there, is there any parents who towards the end of August, kids are going to bed at a reasonable time?

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Well, no, this is, I think it's, well, I think everyone needs a bit of routine and it for it to start back again. But I've been, I've been doing a lot of, um, should I need to go through what I've been up to?

• 10:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Went to Wingham Zoo for the day out.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Is that a place?

• 10:53Speaker 03

  It's a place. We fed lemurs.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  You ever fed a lemur?

• 10:58Speaker 02

  Which one's a lemur?

• 11:00Speaker 03

  It's all like, it looks like a monkey, but a bit like a meerkat monkey on a long tail.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I don't think I've fed, I don't think I've fed a lemur, no.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  From Madagascar?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  That, that doesn't help.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  No, the film.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  Oh, right. Fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes more sense. I thought, I thought that was a deep cut of knowledge.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  From Madagascar, King Somit or other.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I've not fed a lemur.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  We saw an orangutan. Do you like that?

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Um, I do like an orangutan. Every which way but loose. That was the film.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  There we go. Now we're back. Here we go. We've got his brain on nostalgia. We're bringing him back.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Clive, or is it Clyde?

• 11:32Speaker 03

  Clyde, I think. Um, my daughter's a pescatarian now.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. How's that going?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Um, she had a hot dog at Centre Parks because she forgot. And then she ate the inside of a filet o' fish.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Well, that's all right.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Because we had to go for a drive for it. Yes, that's good. Good start.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Why did she only eat the inside?

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Uh, because, well, she liked the bum. I thought she liked the bum. Oh, right, Josh. I've got a couple of ideas for the show.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  I don't know if we need format points. We've gone six and a half years without it, but here we go.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  But little bits, not, not a thing switch, but like things to other people to join in with.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I call, yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Right, so one is temporary, permanent in the, in the house. So you know, like fixes you've got temporary, temporary, permanent, I want to call it. Where you've done something temporary, but you've had it for three years.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Like the Eiffel Tower.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, like the Eiffel Tower. Right. So for example, um, the dogs kept on going upstairs in our house, even when we told them no. So we, I got a barbecue three years ago and I used the ma, the massive cardboard box as a stair gate and it's still there.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Do you like this?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  This good? And then also it's quite handy when people come around with little kids. I've said it, it's on the, on the, we, we decorated it. It's on the WhatsApp group with stickers.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  It's a real admission that it's not changing, isn't it?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, we, I think let's double down on it. So we've got, if anyone's got to think there was, you know, like corners that are a bit spiky with kids. You go, oh my God, they're going to bang their head. And you put a bit of blue tack on it. It's there for 10 years. Temporary permanent fixes. And the other one I thought, Josh, is we loved, well, I loved watching you watch the Mike Parry um, cinnamon challenge.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've watched it again since. It's so good.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I don't think you've really experienced the internet.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  So what, what videos would you suggest?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  I, I think I want to do a new feature that everyone can suggest for show Josh the internet. Show Josh the worldwide web.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  I'm not a fan of the internet. Well, that's a lie because I've spent a lot of time on it. I've probably spent more time on it.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Of moments of the internet.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Well, Mike Parry's, I'd say, one of the best things I've seen on the internet.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Well, there's loads of them.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  You're just scratching the surface with Parry. Have you ever seen the man tasted his own limoncello?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  That doesn't sound like seeing.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Michael, have you ever seen it?

• 13:54Speaker 06

  Yes, it's a hall of famer. If you like cinnamon challenge with Parry, this is definitely in your wheelhouse.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Right, let me find it.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do it.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  It's a guy, the old guy with the blue turquoise shirt on.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  He looks a bit like Nuno thingy.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  So, party people, it is nearly 10 to 7 in the evening in the UK, depending where you're watching this. It's Friday night, Friday night. Uh, I'm about to sample for the first time my homemade limoncello. Now, I haven't tried this yet, so I'm a little bit nervous. Never tried, never made it before. But I figured it was a good as time as ever to try it.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Can I just stop? Let's say we're over halfway. There's only about 20 seconds left. No, I'm not complaining. I'm saying I can't believe that nothing's happened yet.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Oh, what he's done is, is a brilliant setup. He's so excited. He looks very middle class and in control of his life and chilled. That kind of man, if he said, I've got homemade limoncello, you'd believe him. You'd buy a bottle of, of him at a market, wouldn't you?

• 14:55Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Fucking hell.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  Bit strong.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Think I might need a little bit more sugar syrup.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was good. That was good.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  There we go.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  It's not as good as Mike Parry. It's not as good as Mike Parry.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Mike Parry's elite because

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, the problem is Mike Parry's so good for so long. Do you know what I mean?

• 15:27Speaker 03

  And he's come in so arrogant. So it's, you're getting the schadenfreude comeuppance.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Well, this guy's a good guy.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you. Well, anymore. I enjoyed it. Anymore.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  We'll, we'll call that show Josh the worldwide web.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  And then Michael can put a little eh, eh, eh, eh, 56K modem jingle in there.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Oh, Michael's gonna have to do some fucking work.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  He's got to edit Lou's voice note. He's got to try and find the 56K modem.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Michael, you're gonna be as tired as I am during summer holidays.

• 15:54Speaker 06

  I don't, I don't think that's possible.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  It's not.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  I've had a great time, actually.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Tesco Mobile. Josh, how are you with the kids slang?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Oh, mate, I try. I'll be honest, I try, but they might as well be speaking a different language. I don't know what she ate means and I do worry about it. And when you hear something like, oh, he cooked. Well, I, I presume, you know, was it on an induction hob? That's what I'm thinking.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  We can't be alone though, Josh. Loads of parents out there feel like they can't understand half of the words their kids use. The thing is, that can also mean a lot of us don't always understand what's going on in our kids' online lives.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Exactly. It might not always feel easy, but sitting down with the kids and asking them what something like Riz means can open up important conversations about their online lives, Rob. Those chats help us keep up as parents, which helps us keep them safe online.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  So if you're feeling stuck about having the online safety chat, visit the Tesco Mobile Online Safety Hub, where they have plenty of tips and resources for keeping you and your family safe online.

• 17:10Speaker 04

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• 18:09Speaker 01

  The action's on the court. And as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting fans closer to the game with a chance to win courtside seats, merch, and more. Visit michelobultra.com/courtside to enter. Michelob Ultra Courtside, 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026 and ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Right, I had to lay down the law with the kids though, Josh. They were giving it, they're getting a bit sarky. So Lou was, Lou was out somewhere. I don't know where she was at. So I had to get him up to go dentist, but the dentist was booked at 9:00 AM.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Oh, that's an early dentist.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  I like an early dentist because.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  You're presumably, you have to, you have to drive a bit of a distance to the dentist.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  To the equestrian centre. No, no, the dentist is 20 minutes. Yeah, it's a bit of fun. Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  So you're, you need them out the house at 8:30 really.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I go, so it's 7:30. I say, one of them's awake and I go, look, we're leaving at 8:30. You've got an hour. She's like, what? What? I was like, what? Why? Like, cause we got dentist at 9:00. She went, what kind of man books a dentist at 9:00 AM in this summer holiday?

• 19:35Speaker 03

  I was like, well, now I'm just getting hammered by them. I've got dressed for golf.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Just to check.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  I booked it, yeah. I got, I got dressed for golf the other day. And obviously you need, when it's hot, you need, thin golf attire isn't the most forgiving. So I had a white top on, but it's very thin.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Alan Shearer.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  And a little bit sticky on the, on the body. And I had a white socks and a pair of blue shorts with loads of Adidas logos on them. They look like polka dot and a white, bright white top. And I walked in and my eldest, who's 10, looked at me, she went,

• 20:05Speaker 03

  what are you doing? You look absolutely ridiculous. I can see the hair from your nipples through your top. What are you doing? I just thought this is horrendous. And anyway, so.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  What did you say?

• 20:25Speaker 03

  I said, yeah, you, and you've got, well, I went, one, I'm dressed for golf. Two, it's hot, so I need to teach her the breeze. But three, yeah, fair enough. It's too thin, too white, and you can't see all my body. You're, you're right. I should have changed my, it's not a good top for golf, okay? And I actually took one of them golf. Cause what, yesterday, oh my God, this is so scattergun here. I'll get back to the dentist. My daughter last night, you know, my youngest.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  I don't think you need to worry about that, Rob.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Okay. My daughter that doesn't like sleepovers, who did one at school, I'm gonna sneeze. It's a pot my cold. Yep. Right, I haven't got, because they don't exist. I'm gonna, so we're just gonna have to wipe out my shorts, change them later. Um.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Well, don't worry, don't worry. They're covered in Adidas logos, they'll blend in.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, polka dot. Um, she, so the one that was nervous of sleepovers, did a school one, is at her first sleepover for her friend's birthday last night.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Right, huge.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Dropped her off at 2 o'clock, very nervous, but I was trying to help her through it. And no one's called yet, so I assume she did it and made it through.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  She's still walking home.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  She's, she's still crying at the bus stop.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  She sat off at midnight.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  But yeah, so no one's message, I, but I didn't sleep well, because I was, I, I basically, I turned my phone on loud in case the parent wanted to ring. But I realised, if you have your phone on loud, I am getting 3,000 notifications. The weather's telling me it's gonna rain with a ding. I've got a thing from like.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  You've got to turn your notifications off.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  I tried, Josh, it's so hard. It's a deal one by one.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  What would Dr Marta say? What would Dr Marta say?

• 22:05Speaker 03

  She said, don't do it, it takes really a long time, but I should do it now. Anyway, so.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Didn't sleep very well. She's at the thingy, so my other daughter, I said, what do you want to do today? And she was, I don't know really. And we only had two hours because we had to go, go somewhere. So I said, uh, do you want to, uh, I didn't want to say, do you want to come golf with me? I said, uh, do you want to, uh, go for a ride in a golf cart?

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Little golf buggy.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  While I, while I play golf around the 18 holes.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  No, no, I didn't say that. So she came with me, she sat in the passenger seat and I drove around a golf course. She loved it and I hit a few balls.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Did you play golf?

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. I just took her to the golf club and she sat in the passenger seat and I just drove around. She loved it.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Your transformation into Jimmy Tarbuck is just at such speed, it's unbelievable.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  It's great. It's honestly, I have got.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  You are, I think you're a, a performer who was born 40, 40 years too late.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, and some people, when they've seen my material, will agree.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  No, honestly, yeah, I do, like, I love, I, I've just got so much buffer.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Brucey, Ronnie Corbett.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Can you imagine me rubbing shoulders? Oh, Les Dawson's come up, man. Dawson, you all right? Yeah, I'd love to be mates with Ronnie Corbett. Imagine playing golf with Ronnie Corbett.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  Why did, why do you have to dress like a Wankong at golf? Do you worry about the clothes at golf?

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Oh God, you scared me, you snuck in.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Oh my word.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  You've, you've made pancakes. Well done. Do you want to bring, bring one in? Is that right? Thank you. So my 10-year-old, um, said, can I make pancakes? Fucking hell.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Fucking hell, she stormed out there, didn't she?

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, she did. She, but I didn't know she snuck in. I shit myself.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  She's quieter at opening than closing a door, isn't she?

• 23:51Speaker 03

  So, um, she wanted to make pancakes this morning, but I was like, well, I'm not gonna finish till nine. And she went, oh, can I make it on my own? I went, yeah, but no watching iPad while you're cooking it. So I let her do the hob on her own at 10. Is that allowed? Probably should have supervised it.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  No, it's fine.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  When I was running a market store at 30.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  My daughter and her friend went to the shop yesterday on their own.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. All right, okay.

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Took my card and it was, unfortunately, it was one of the ones where, um, you know, like every 10 goes you have to put in your PIN.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Oh no, killer.

• 24:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, so another, they just sort of, man bought them the food and then they came home with it.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Didn't really know what to do about that.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Well, if you was in there, you saw two kids, you'd go, I'll get it for you, because they're probably feeling embarrassed.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Of course, yeah.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  We went out last night, I will get back to dentist, we were out last night. I was having some food and my daughter didn't really like the dessert. We can I get like a chocolate bar for dessert? Went, yeah, all right. We walked to the shop. As she got to the shop, like 10 foot away, the light went off. I went, oh, is it shutting? Well, no, it's quarter to 10, it shuts at 10, I'll be fine. And literally as she got to the doorway, the electric shutters came down in front, literally like, nearly cut her nose off.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  So dentist, went to dentist. They went to a dentist, they loved the experience. So we went to a new dentist and I will recommend this dentist. I paid, this is not a freebie, but there's a guy Luke who's the dentist there. It's Royal Wolf Dental and he's got one in Bromley and he's got one in, I think Canary Wolf. And he was so good with kids, the best, he was like, chatted to them friendly and did it all very calmly. Cause I think obviously kids can get nervous, but he did a brilliant job. So if you do need a dentist, especially for kids and adults, he does mine. Um, yeah, it's funny though, because I had a little, I've got a little, little chip in my tooth that I have to.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  The main headline there, is it though?

• 25:46Speaker 03

  Oh, how dare you? How, okay, we're doing that. So I've got a little chip that I had to get filled in.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  So were you doing, you, were you at the dentist as well? Were all three of you dentists in?

• 25:58Speaker 03

  I went the week before, then I booked them in. And because one of them was a little bit nervous, but he sat with them, spoke to them. Um, yeah, and anyway, so he's really kind, lovely guy. So if you've got kids that need to go dentist, go and see, uh, Luke at Royal Wolf. But they didn't want to leave the house. So they were going, oh, I haven't got time, shouting at me. And I just went, I'm gonna say this once, I put on a really stern voice. We are leaving, because my other one didn't wake up till 8 o'clock. I went, we are leaving in half an hour. All I need you to do is get dressed, brush your teeth, have something to eat and then leave. And we're doing that at 8:30, okay? Yeah, it was quite a lot. And I did, I should have really booked it for 9:00 AM.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  But I prefer a morning dentist, because then you go in clean teeth, raring to go.

• 26:44Speaker 02

  I've never thought about that. I think every time I go to the dentist, I think. Fuck me, this is a tough gig for you. Like, it's a horrible gig, isn't it? People's mouths.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Well, I think the dentist, you've really got to wanna be a dentist to be a good dentist.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  You've really got to wanna be a dentist.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  But I think if you don't a hundred percent really wanna be a dentist, then you get sort of talked into if you're from a family of dentists or that'll be a good profession.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Dental dynasty.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  You can't look in someone's mouth every day if you don't have a passion for mouths.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Like, not just someone's, probably twelve mouths a day.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  And also as well, I'm probably one of the best mouths they're gonna get all day.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  It's big, it's wide open. Well, no, I'm just saying, I'm very good with my.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  It's an anecdote.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Guess who needs a filling?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  How was it? Nearly fell in? Oh, you know, go and get, go and get a big bucket.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  Nice to hear him not say anything for twenty minutes. Am I right?

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Well, that's the thing I do. Yeah, but he did say to me, because I've got a little chip there that they fill in. He was like, do you, um, a guy called Tom Abbot in a nightclub in probably, when was I at uni? So that's twenty-two years ago. Um, he had a bottle of, one pound bottle of Foster's in Bar Bar's Canterbury. And he went like that in the air with it, hit me in the mouth, chipped it.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Oh, Jesus.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  So they fill it in and then he was like, yeah, you could put a little like thing just to let it out.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  And then the filling in comes out, does it?

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, over time it wears away because it's only a little, it's only a tiny one. So he was like, what I can do is just rather than fill it in, just like

• 28:20Speaker 02

  File the rest down.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Shave the front two so they're like flat and match the rest. I was like, I can't be messy with the teeth.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  You would go ankle surgery on Michael Flatley. Do you know what I mean?

• 28:32Speaker 02

  No. Well, you probably have to. I bet he's had ankle surgery by now.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  Um, okay, I'm going back in. Ankle surgery, Michael Flatley.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  I bet Michael Flatley is in severe pain. Not.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Uh, well, actually, there's a psychiatrist called Michael Patrick Flatley. He had to put the Patrick in, didn't he? You can't be a foot doctor and be called Michael Flatley.

• 29:00Speaker 03

  Here we go. Uh, no, it's not coming up. I don't know if Michael Flatley's had ankle surgery.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Has suffered extensive chronic physical damage.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, you've got, it's gonna happen, isn't it?

• 29:10Speaker 02

  It's gonna happen.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  It's like being an athlete.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  A severe tear of the right calf, Rob, is the closest we've got to ankle, but never fully healed alongside a persistent broken or fractured bone in his right foot.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Oh, Flatley. Is he still going?

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Oh my god. Not judging by this. Extensive chronic physical damage of spine, joints and muscles.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Do you know, do you know what I do sometimes? Because I love the, I love the Irish. I love Ireland. I love the Irish. I love the whole vibe, yeah? When I'm travelling home.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  I think the word you're looking for is the crack.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  I love the crack. I, I'm a, you know.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  You love the crack.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  When I'm travelling home.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  From somewhere on a long flight and I wanted like, get a bit chilled and like. No, I listen to Christie Moore and pretend I'm Irish.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Right, okay, this is weird.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  So Christie Moore's like an Irish sort of like.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  Sorry, why do you do this on a long flight?

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Well, because I feel like it, all the music's really like sort of love letter to Ireland and Irish culture and family and people.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  You've got no Irish in you, have you? Just to check.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Absolutely zero. Um, lose Irish. Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  So I've got no Irish on me.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Oh, she was Welsh.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  And Welsh.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  So why do you do that on a long flight? I don't understand what it's got to do with.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  When you're coming home from like working and like you've been away for a few weeks. I was working with an Irish guy, Warren, in Malaysia and he, he put me on it and he, and I was like, I could do, I could, well, you can't listen to Chaz and Dave chilling out. But, you know, Chaz and Dave's a night out song, really. You know what I mean?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. I understand that. Do you listen to Chaz and Dave?

• 30:42Speaker 03

  Uh, not religiously, but I will have a little bit now and again. I, this is a trick I do sometimes. If I'm annoyed, if I have a driver on a long production that I have to say one every day. And if they're a bit chatty and annoying, I'll say, could you listen to some music? Yeah. So, yeah, so I'll put other songs on. So do you mind if I play some music and I'll sing along to it and then I'll put Rabbit on? Then I'll get to sing, you don't stop talking. Why don't you give it a rest? And it's really liberating because I've, I've got what I'm feeling out at them without having the awkward conversation.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. What are the other songs you sing?

• 31:22Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 31:23Speaker 02

  You've got other songs on and sing.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  No, that, that's the main one if it's a change.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  How much do you give it? How much do you give it when you're in the back of the car singing along?

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Full beans, windows down, you don't stop talking. Why don't you give it a rest? You've got more rabbit than Sainsbury's.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  If someone saw you driving past singing Chaz and Dave, they'd go, fucking out. Jesus Christ. I saw Rob Beck earlier. You're not gonna believe what he was doing. Yeah, no, I do believe that. Yeah, it's exactly.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  You don't put the Wurzels on.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  I don't put the Wurzels on, no.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  No, no, you don't. You don't.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  I would never, I never, I put headphones in if I want to listen to music. I don't wanna share it with the driver that's talking too much to me.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Well, no, but, oh, Lou's ringing me. Can I quickly take it? One second.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Hello? Hello, you all right? I'm just on the podcast. Is everything okay? Yeah. All right, no worries. All right. Love you. Bye. Bye bye.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  He didn't mention the seven minute voice note.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Not chatting now, are you? Now you're giving it the fucking big beans on the voice. No, she's gone. Lou's gone. Um, no, I was just, she never rings me. Uh, well, she does ring me, but I'm the only ringer.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Where was she? Where is she?

• 32:32Speaker 03

  I'm always a ringer of her. She's a texter.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Where is she at eight fifty in the morning on a Friday?

• 32:37Speaker 03

  She's out grafting, she's all panchurst, giving it fucking full beans up in the big smoke. Where old silly bollocks is back home? Rick Moranis over here grafting away. That's a bit arse, actually, is what I thought.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  What's Rick Moranis?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Rick, oh, actually, it's not arse. Rick Moranis, Moranis, the guy from Honey on Front of the Kids.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, he quit.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  He quit when his partner sadly died, wife and his mother of his kids died. He quit and just became dad.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, good on him.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  I'm loving it though, Josh. I love being home. Yeah, I think I get a different energy from parenting.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  I don't, well, I've been having a great time, but I've just hit a wall.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Keep saying it, mate. Tell your fucking face of your body.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Well, you've seen what a good mood I've been in on the podcast all, all summer, but today I've just gone through the wall.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Today, you're a bit tired. I think as well, you do a lot of holidays with other people's kids, I've noticed, which I think for me, I find more tiring than just my own because you're never having to make decisions for a big group. You're just going, right, us four, we're doing this.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  I find this a lot easier.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Fucking hell, I wouldn't wanna chat to you without them then.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Well, I was fucked before I got here. I'm, I've, I'm just, I'm ready for some actual routine. I'm ready to not go to bed at the same time.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  I think you need routine more than me. You like routine. I don't like routine.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  I like the, like Lou always goes, oh, put that in, but I'm like, no.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Do you know what it is, Rob? I, do you know when you were, um, during lockdown, you were going a bit mad because you couldn't do stand up?

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I feel like that with general like work, like writing stuff, doing stuff, that's, I need to be doing some stuff for myself like that.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  And I've literally, I feel a bit like you're going

• 34:21Speaker 02

  another day at the beach. Is that, is that my main complaint? I know it is, but it's like, do you know? I'm just ready to do some stuff where I'm a bit like

• 34:32Speaker 02

  this is tricky and I want to try and do it. Do you know what I mean?

• 34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I, for me, I, I am, I'm really enjoying what I'm doing, but I'd quite like to do it without children in the house. Do you know what I mean? Like, just a bit of quiet in the house, but.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  You wanna be doing.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  I think I'm retired. I'm semi-retired. Someone, someone said to me the other day, because we do the football podcast, blimey, Rob said he wanted to do less and he's now doing that. It's an hour.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  I know.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  It's an hour. I do an extra hour a week. I could squeeze it in. Man, the meetings, people have offices for an hour.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Think how many hours I look at my phone?

• 35:05Speaker 03

  We, we have a twenty-eight minute meeting about that podcast. It banged out three hours already. But, oh. That's how I like to work. But yeah, I could just, I genuinely think I could just go and play golf every single day and then pop out and do a couple of gigs.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  I think, I think you should do this because you're, you're constantly, well, that is a routine. You're constantly.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  What, no routine? I had an impromptu curry last night. I had an impromptu curry.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, nice.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Went to the chiropractor, smell it, smell of curry. I went, Lou, do you wanna go for a curry? Shall we ring Tom and Alfie, see if they wanna come for a curry? They had a fucking curry on a Thursday. That's how I live my life, mate. Oh, they came. Yeah, had a quick curry.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Where were your kids?

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Um, one was asleep, haven't. The other one came out till ten. She's ten, ten years old.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Loved it.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Um, would you ever go into semi-retirement? Like, I know we talk about it a whole time, but you, we are, we are probably a month away from you doing an episode about how you take it on too much.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  No, genuinely, no, I think.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Actually, what have you got this autumn?

• 36:06Speaker 03

  Nothing. I, I think I have semi-retired. I don't know if I've been cancelled, the numbers told me.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Because you haven't got Rob and Romesh, because you've done that.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  No, done that. Um, this autumn, I've got.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  You haven't got football podcasts?

• 36:20Speaker 03

  There's, I'm even calming down the golf YouTube.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Why?

• 36:24Speaker 03

  I just wanna play golf on my own.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  No, to be fair, the golfing essentially is doing really well, but it's a lot, huge. I thought YouTube being would be a piece of piss.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  Right, no, no.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  It's harder than doing, it's so hard. It's harder than doing stand up because in stand up, you've got to learn one thing, which is quite scary. Just do that. But with YouTube, you've got to learn like how to edit, I know, or find editors that can do it, or feel people that can film it. You might work with locations, blah, blah, blah. And it's costing me money, but if there's any big sponsors out there that just want to sponsor my channel, get in touch. I can't be bothered to go out and hunt it.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Dunlop or someone who's involved in golf.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, if I got a time machine back to 1983, when they were still involved in golf, yeah.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  Clubs.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  I tell you what, I'd fucking love to be sponsored by Dunlop.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  No, yeah, any big golf brands out there that want to sponsor the YouTube channel so that I'm not losing money on it, then I'll do it. But at the moment, so I've got this podcast, football podcast, occasional golf, if I get a big sponsor.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Can I just say on the YouTube thing, it's also, it's a commitment because you're having to keep doing it. Do you know what I mean?

• 37:30Speaker 03

  And you've got to keep your momentum up and build. So I've really enjoyed it. I've loved it. But if, in order to carry on doing that, I need to make sure that I don't mind not earning from it, but I can't be losing money from it. Do you know what I mean?

• 37:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 01

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• 39:19Speaker 03

  But I'm doing, I've got gigs, I've got some, a few stand-up gigs coming up in autumn. Only a handful. No, that's it.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Because, yeah, what are you doing? It's like.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  I'm clinging on to your coattails, mate. I've got you, I've got Rob, I'm basically fucking slipping into the BBC. That one.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Because this time last year, you were a husk of a man. Do you know what I mean? You were, you were, you were living on an industrial estate outside Coventry.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Seemingly giving, gigging in Coventry three or four times a week.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Indefinitely. Like some sort of community service order.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Forcing yourself to live in a kind of, go between a CineWorld and a Nando's in the middle of, outside of a motor, outside of an M6 toll road. And it looked like you were never going to, you know, see your family. And now, I tell you what you're doing. You're just playing golf.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  I'm buffer. I'm king of the buffer. I'm buffer boy.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  It's wild. Have you got anything for 2027?

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Um, no.

• 40:21Speaker 02

  This is incredible. You've done it.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  So I'm, I'm out. I've got out. I'm not one of the gangsters. I've got out. I've gone straight.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  They'll call you in for one last job and you'll be killed on it. That's how it works.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  To be fair, next week, I'm doing, I've got a pilot. I'm doing two days of work next week for a pilot for a year. I've got, I've got bits of PR to do, but no big, big, like, things to do. So at the moment, my stuff might come in.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  What's the PR for, Rob? Do a little, do a little.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Tempting Fortune on your screen soon.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  When's that out? But you've already done that. That's the beauty of Robbeck. You've done all these things.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  If that comes back, Traitor's done that.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Traitor's done that.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Tempting Fortune comes back. I might have to go away again next year for a couple of weeks. But, but yeah, so I'm just trying to create buffer and work out what it is I'm doing.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Is there a chance you're going to get really good at golf?

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll be out in a, do you know what? I nearly broke 100. I'll be out in 10 minutes and then we'll eat together.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  So is that good?

• 41:20Speaker 03

  So I've got 103s be my best score. I've got a birdie. I've got a birdie.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. On a par four or a par three?

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Well, par four. So I tell you what, I tell you what's been happening for golf is it, the, the ground's really hard. So I think it's flattered me because of the drought.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  It's bouncing far.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  So I hit a ball the other day so hard and it bounced so far. It bounced on concrete, then on the hard ground. It went past the green, 300 yards. Wow. Thank you.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Why did it bounce on concrete, Rob? That sounds like a bad shot.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Shh. No shot's a bad shot. It's just a shot with character.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  This has cheered me right up.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  I'm living a bit of a buffer free lifestyle. No, the full, no, buffer, full buffer. Michael Buffer. I'm king of the buffer.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  Me and Lou are going to the boxing on Saturday.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  You and who?

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Me and Lou are going to the boxing. This week, I play golf Monday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  I can't believe you got to treat Lou by taking her to one of her favourite things, the boxing.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Well, to be fair, I got, she, I always normally invite my mates to like boxing, but I said, you've, she said, next time you go boxing, let me know. I'd like to come. But I think we'd be quite close to the ring and I think she might find it too intense. Because she's, Lou's family are very sort of cultured and middle class, you know, like got a big sort of hamper full of theatre programmes in the living room, stuff like that. And.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  This is working class.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  Lou had never been to a betting shop or had fried chicken until she met me.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  And now you take her to the betting shop every Friday, don't you?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Put on your accumulator for the weekend if you want, Toots. It's two quid. Chick, pick eight fixtures.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Buy, buy me some hot wings with the change.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  Do you know what? It was good. I reckon a week ago, me and Rose were like, we've nailed this summer holiday. And now, you know, when you're just like.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  Last week, everyone's at their limit, totally normal.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Totally fucked. Sorry to listeners.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Don't worry about it. I'm fine. They're fine. It's just your reality. Would you like to, in the last five minutes, sort of give it full beans? Like pretend we just started? You've got, oh, you've, you've done the full beans already?

• 43:37Speaker 02

  I thought the last 10 minutes has been pretty heavy beans.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  You have been, you, I'd say heavy beans, but sort of, I'd say reactive beans. But if you wanted to come in full beans with something you've got.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  We had a DHL van come around. That was fun. Because you know, my son's into DHL.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  They got in touch with us and said, would you like him, would you like a DHL van to visit?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  And he can have a look around the DHL van. So he had the fucking time of his life. And then they gave him a parcel full of DHL toys. I'll be honest.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Can you imagine being five and that happening?

• 44:10Speaker 02

  I know. Well, I suppose to most people it'd be like, why, so what, a DHL van? I'm not interested. But yeah, it was incredible.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  To him, if he loves that.

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. He's had a great, he's had a great, we've been doing all these things, Rob. I'm just tired. I'm just really tired.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it must be exhausting to have a van come into your house.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  No, but do you know what I mean? You're like.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  I know, joking. The beach is our work though. What's, what's your setup for the beach?

• 44:39Speaker 02

  We've done all of it.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Right. You're going to the beach for the day. Talk me through what you're doing.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  I fell asleep on the beach, Rob. I just passed out flat on the beach.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  While everyone was around me.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  That's relaxing.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  I'm fucked. I'm absolutely fucked.

• 44:55Speaker 03

  What's your setup for the beach? If you're going to the beach, talk me through it. Just you four, you're going to the beach. What are you packing? How are you getting there?

• 45:02Speaker 02

  My daughter's, uh, just loves bodyboarding. So she's.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  Straight in with a bodyboard.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  With her mate. Uh, they're bodyboarding all the time. My son doesn't like the beach.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  No.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Um, he's more your, your cut of the jib. So he's constantly wanting to go to the cafe or try and talk us into buying something from the shop.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  And then so you're moving around with him. You can't, but once he gets a bit older, he'll be, he'll be bodyboarding, I reckon.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  He'll be bodyboarding. Of course he will be.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  It'll be on his belly.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  It'll be on his belly. Yeah. So it's all been lovely, but I am just on the ropes, crumbling.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  When are they back at school? Next week?

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Next week. No.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  What day?

• 45:49Speaker 02

  The Monday after.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  No.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  You've got another four weeks.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  I'll be back next week.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  It's been so long. It's been so long. It's fucking mental.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Small business?

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Now it's time for Small Business Shout Out, brought to you by VistaPrint, your expert print partner to help you bring your ideas to life. Rob, talk to me about how VistaPrint can help you with your small business. Here's an idea. First of all, I hate badly printed merch.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  You know, when you go somewhere, you're going to see a new band or something, you want their merch and it's ruined in one go in the washing machine. It's heartbreaking.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  The mug when the image goes.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  The mug when you think, I can't dry clean this, not dry clean it, I can't dry clean it.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  I don't know how dry cleaning works. Sure, you've got to give it a bit of work, don't you?

• 46:41Speaker 02

  I've never understood it, Rob. I'm never gonna, I never am gonna.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  I'm never gonna look into it.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Imagine you're starting a new dry cleaning business. You've got some merch.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  You want it printed well, because that mug.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  Sorry, you're a dry cleaning business doing your own merch for the dry cleaning business?

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  It's a popular dry cleaning business.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, and what is the new band doing, pressing trousers in the interval?

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Exactly, yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Do you know what I love? A branded t-shirt for a small business.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  So, building firms.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  We had a building firm and they came and they've all got the matching polo shirts.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  With the matching logo and they all look clean, they all look smart. And at that point, I don't care what they're doing to my foundations, I trust the polo.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Exactly, trust the polo.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  It's different, so they look like a professional outfit.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  Because they're wearing a professional outfit.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Okay, Rob, I'll go first. Hi, Rob and Josh, I'm a long time listener. Fellow parent of six-year-old twins, twins!

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 47:35Speaker 02

  And an educational psychologist. So I thought I'd chance my arm with a small business shout out.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Go for it.

• 47:41Speaker 02

  Consider it chanced. Alongside my friend and colleague, we have created My School Experience Cards. After spending our careers working with children who want to tell adults what school is really like for them, but often don't have the words. The cards help children, especially those with autism, ADHD, anxiety or other special educational needs, share what they enjoy at school, what they find difficult and most importantly, what helps them. Lots of parents complete the cards with their child before meetings with school. Make it much easier to share their child's views and the strategies that make the biggest difference. If parenting hell listeners think they could help their family, we'd love to offer 20%.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Whoa, that's big.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  That's a big one. With the code PH20 at wwwmyschoolexperiencecards.com. Thanks so much for supporting small businesses, for making us laugh every week. Best wishes, Rachel. Thank you, Rachel.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Thank you, Rachel. That'd be great. And also as well now, people can see the Small Business Shout Out on our Instagram.

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  Wanted to give a small business shout out for my lovely friend Georgia's cookery classes based in Liverpool. Mother Dough Culinary runs cookery classes for children aged two to 17. Taught by qualified professional chefs using fresh ingredients, real knives and real hobs to give children amazing skills.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Really good.

• 48:59Speaker 03

  The things they cook each week are amazing and delicious. It's also great for helping children discover to try new foods. Instagram at Mother Dough Culinary. Thank you so much. This is an amazing thing you do for people. Hannah?

• 49:11Speaker 02

  VistaPrint.co.uk, print your possible. To get 15% off your first VistaPrint order, visit VistaPrint.co.uk and use the code POUNDINGHELL15.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  Right, that was a small business. Josh, get some sleep, find some new time. What do you say to Rose? I'll have the kids for the day, you have them for the next day and we both have solo days to chill.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  I just want to go back to work. I just want to do some work. I just want to sit at my computer and actually remember that I've got, that I'm gainfully employed.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  You are gainfully employed.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  I know, but I just need to use my.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  You're at your computer, you're working, you're unloading, you're podcasting, babe.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, too right. Too right, babe.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  You're creating a WAV file for people to enjoy. Right, see you next time.