⚽ A story for another time...⚽

Welcome to episode two of Footballing Hell... where every Monday Rob and Josh discuss the weekends football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... This week we (sort of) discuss (some of) the opening fixtures of the PL season. Including Arsenal's win against newly promoted Coventry and why a football season should not start on a Friday night. Elsewhere, is it always funny when a big team is rubbish? And did Alan Shearer get that new top on MOTD as a birthday present? Enjoy!! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [email protected] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. Why football? Why now? We hear you ask... “Finally we can bring our unique brand of unprofessionalism, distractedness and inability to get things right to the until now slick and professional world of football pods. Get ready for no tactical analysis, zero discussion of VAR and a surprisingly high level of Neil Warnock chat. For people who find other football pods too informed.” - Josh Widdicombe "After 6 years of discussing my wife and children on Parenting Hell it's such a liberating feeling to finally have a podcast where I chat about something I truly love and care about in football" - Rob Beckett ⁠Footballing Hell ⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe the North American dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

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• 1:41Speaker 04

  Hello, you're listening to Footballing Hell with Rob Beckett.

• 1:48Speaker 04

  Josh Widdicombe.

• 1:50Speaker 05

  Okay, you wanted to

• 1:51Speaker 04

  What a generic voice.

• 1:53Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  What a lovely generic voice. That's a man from the home counties.

• 2:01Speaker 05

  Oh, no, I tell you what, I'm going to give you a clue and then I'll play it again.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 2:06Speaker 05

  Goalkeeper at the highest No, for the home counties. Goalkeeper, played at the highest level. You've got one more chance. Rob Beckett.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  Josh Widdicombe. It's Paul Robinson.

• 2:23Speaker 05

  In the words of Andy Gray, take a bow, son.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Was it?

• 2:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 04

  Oh, yes, please.

• 2:30Speaker 05

  That's incredible. Tell me throughout you got it because the issue here is it isn't a game of guess the footballer. It's the game of who could Rob Beckett get in contact with within a week to get another voice note?

• 2:43Speaker 04

  Well, I thought goalkeeper, right?

• 2:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  He sounds like he's about in his 40s.

• 2:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're right.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Who would Rob know? I thought it's not David Seaman. I know it's not David Seaman.

• 2:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's got a very distinctive voice.

• 2:56Speaker 04

  There's not a huge amount of English goalkeepers from that era. Then I remembered a vague story about you going on the lash with Paul Robinson at the Edinburgh Festival.

• 3:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, is it too? I think it's too early to go into the Paul Robinson, Lloyd Griffith on the lash with Ian Smith, Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

• 3:17Speaker 04

  The comedian, not the guy that played Harold Bishop.

• 3:20Speaker 05

  I mean, who would have thought that? Either way.

• 3:30Speaker 05

  I don't think we go into that now. Is that another story for another day? That's a quiet week. That's a story for the international break.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  But this is the opening weekend of the season. This is huge.

• 3:40Speaker 05

  We can't get bogged down with anecdotes from the past.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  That will happen. If you, if you, let's do what Richard Keys did six times in his first episode with Andy Gray. And say that's a story for another time. I've never heard so many, so many stories for another time.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  I cannot express you how many bullet points I've got to talk about this week. Most of it doesn't involve the actual games.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  No, of course.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  But I'm so excited to chat.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Should we go chronologically or should we go?

• 4:09Speaker 05

  Explain where I am. I'm doing this from Centre Parcs on a family weekend away, which

• 4:15Speaker 04

  And how pissed are you?

• 4:16Speaker 05

  I've had, well, I've had four pints of Star of Pram and then switched to Coors for the fifth.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  To sober up.

• 4:22Speaker 05

  Yes, because I was responsibly drinking and that's 2%

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 05

  Less strength than Star of Pram.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:29Speaker 05

  But I'm here.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  You seem in a good state.

• 4:31Speaker 05

  I've had a great weekend. The football's back.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  These two options, right?

• 4:36Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  We can go chronologically, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

• 4:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Or we can go order of funniness, i.e. start with Hull to Manchester United nil.

• 4:44Speaker 05

  I mean, I think we go chronological.

• 4:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 4:48Speaker 05

  I think we can't peak. The main thing I'm excited about is Man United and Tottenham being shit.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay, let's start with Arsenal. Arsenal Friday. First things first, I don't like, I don't, I don't

• 5:03Speaker 05

  I don't care. I don't even care.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  I don't like the season starting on a Friday night. I don't like that. I don't like it.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  I want football on every night and I think you need to get back to the dark ages. I prefer the FA Cup, the only game on TV at 3pm on a Saturday. Fuck off, Nobby Styles. It's the real world. It's Infantino's era. Strapping is corrupt and it's on every fucking night. That was the Star of Pram and talking there actually.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  I just don't, I hate to point this out, but even the FA Cup at 3pm on a Saturday wasn't allowed on television because

• 5:35Speaker 05

  Wasn't it?

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Well, the final was, but not the, not the

• 5:38Speaker 05

  No, no, of course. I meant the final, you know.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, the final was, yeah.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  Sorry for calling you Nobby Styles.

• 5:42Speaker 04

  So I don't hate it. Don't hate it. He won the World Cup.

• 5:47Speaker 05

  Josh, bring some order to this. Let's go chronological.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Arsenal beat someone 3-0 first. Who was that? Coventry, Cas.

• 5:54Speaker 05

  Someone you knew.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  I didn't. Right. So Coventry, I watched the game. Literally, it's the own, I don't, people were writing off the season before Saturday. They were saying Arsenal have already won the league before Saturday and even, which should be the first day.

• 6:16Speaker 05

  Can I tell you what? I text my Coventry mate.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:18Speaker 05

  He said, oh, we've got you in the first game of the season. How will that be? I wrote, 3-0, three points. Thank you very much. Welcome to hell.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 6:31Speaker 05

  And then today I sent in that message with an arrow pointing at it because he hadn't replied to it.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. Can I be honest, right?

• 6:38Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Just to broaden this out.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  I always dreamed of Plymouth Albion in the Premier League, right?

• 6:45Speaker 05

  Tough, tough game away at Wickham, that was for them.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, we got, we got a good point. We got a good point at Wickham, but solid point at Wickham.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  What a depressing thing to say out loud.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  The chairman, they're a bogey team for us. They beat us in the playoff.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  The chairman?

• 6:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, they make chairs in Wickham.

• 7:00Speaker 05

  Is that their nickname?

• 7:02Speaker 04

  I think it might be, yeah.

• 7:03Speaker 05

  That's so shit. That is so shit.

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Chair Boys, which is worse.

• 7:07Speaker 05

  Really worse.

• 7:11Speaker 05

  It sounds like the ones that have to put the chairs out for the vicar.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Michael Popper in the chat, which it is.

• 7:18Speaker 05

  Are they called the Chair Boys?

• 7:20Speaker 04

  They can't be called the Chair Boys, can they? When we went up to the Championship three years ago, yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  It was very different. Michael's typing. We might as well wait for this.

• 7:30Speaker 05

  I think if we're going in chronological

• 7:32Speaker 04

  Fucking pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

• 7:35Speaker 05

  Fucking folder club.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  Do you know what? I take it back. There's a good away point. You need to get three points against the Chair Boys.

• 7:44Speaker 05

  Point against the Chair Boys? Fuck off, Chair Boys. Pathetic. Is there emailing? Is there a worse nickname than the Chair Boys? Come on. Because you make chairs.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  Absolutely pathetic.

• 7:58Speaker 05

  If you're known for making chairs, how about you spread out to tables? What they sat around?

• 8:03Speaker 04

  It's less, it's less. Tables to a tall chair without a back, really?

• 8:11Speaker 04

  It's easier.

• 8:12Speaker 05

  I can't wait to the point that we piss off every single football club. No one listens. We're going to slowly lose all the Wickham fans. We lost all the Leeds fans because I forgot they were in the league.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 8:22Speaker 05

  Who cares?

• 8:23Speaker 04

  They won, didn't they? Bring up the Chair Boys.

• 8:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, emailing, is it footballing hell podcast at gmail.com if you've got a worse nickname than the Chair Boys?

• 8:31Speaker 04

  I think it's just footballing hell at gmail.com, but it's in the show notes, which is the bit written below.

• 8:37Speaker 05

  I think I'm right, actually. I don't want to bring in Michael early within the first five minutes, but

• 8:41Speaker 04

  V A R.

• 8:43Speaker 05

  Footballing hell podcast at gmail.com.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  Michael V A Arden.

• 8:49Speaker 05

  Mike, do you know what's the sad thing is he's checking?

• 8:52Speaker 04

  He's checking, Michael.

• 8:54Speaker 06

  I genuinely was. I couldn't, I couldn't come in. I didn't have the conviction. It is footballing hell podcast at gmail.com.

• 9:02Speaker 05

  Thank you. And that is me five pints deep. I can operate like this. That's the problem with me.

• 9:07Speaker 04

  Thank God for that cause.

• 9:08Speaker 05

  Hartley Paul United, the Monkey Hangers.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  That's, that's a great one. That's a great one.

• 9:14Speaker 05

  That's for another time.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  That's for another time. There's this myth that they thought it was a Frenchman.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  You're aware of Hangus the Monkey, Rob?

• 9:25Speaker 05

  Who's Hangus the Monkey?

• 9:26Speaker 04

  Oh, Rob, this is incredible. So then Hartlepool United, they had Hangus the Monkey as their mascot, right? Who was a monkey mascot and the guy.

• 9:37Speaker 05

  That's really, I think, I know the monkey isn't human, but you can't do a pun on a lynch.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Well, I think that I don't think it's true.

• 9:48Speaker 05

  I don't think it's true. It's the pun's too strong for someone's been hunted then.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  It's too strong, isn't it? Yeah. So then the guy that played Hangus the Monkey, Stuart something, Drummond maybe, he said to Hartlepool, a good idea, right? Why don't I, they've just decided that Hartlepool's going to have a mayor. Why don't I run for mayor of Hartlepool as Hangus the Monkey?

• 10:13Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  They were like, okay, yeah, funny. You've got to do it under your own name, but you can run as Hangus the Monkey. He did free bananas in schools, that kind of policy.

• 10:23Speaker 05

  Lovely. Good PR stunt for the club.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. He won, right? He won. He became mayor of Hartlepool and he did such a good job that he retained mayorship of Hartlepool three times.

• 10:37Speaker 05

  I didn't know that story.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  That is a great story.

• 10:39Speaker 05

  So Coventry staying up?

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Arsenal be Coventry. Oh no, so what I was saying, when we got up into the Championship and we just didn't have the money of other people and you're getting tanked every week and you go, this is fucking shit. This is so horrible. You don't enjoy it. And I remember my friend is a QPR fan had previously said to me that he didn't enjoy the Premier League and I thought, oh, come on. And actually instantly you're like, oh God, it feels awful every week to think, oh God, we're playing them and they've got, you know, they've just spent 20 million on a new striker and we've.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  Sorry, Josh, you're going to have to add inflation to your sort of footballer. No one's.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  This was when we were the Championship.

• 11:22Speaker 05

  Oh, okay. So I thought you meant that Arsenal have spent.

• 11:26Speaker 05

  If Arsenal spent 20 million on a striker, I might be in with a shout.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  No, this was when we were in the Championship and I was like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. I think our record fee is like 2.5 million or whatever. So in conclusion, it's going to be awful for those teams like Coventry. I'm sorry.

• 11:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think they're actually quite good, but obviously Arsenal are a very good team at the moment. They're at home. It was a Friday night. You know, it's, it's a, it's a tough ask.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Everyone knows the atmosphere in the Emirates on a Friday night is untouchable.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  Now, Josh, to be fair, Arsenal's atmosphere has got a lot better since Highbury, the library. Now, have they seen North London forever? Have you heard that?

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yes. Absolutely. It makes my balls disappear into my body. I find it so embarrassing.

• 12:14Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm an Arsenal fan. I don't want to disagree really.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  But you know, it's true. Alex Brooke, a montage of photos of the day Arsenal won the league. Fine.

• 12:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, but this is a man that's fell asleep for the FA Cup final.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  North London forever. And I thought, you fucking loser.

• 12:33Speaker 05

  I think North London forever is one of those songs that the next generation didn't, wasn't around when it started. Now, I love Louis Dunford, who wrote it. I think he's a really good singer. But I think you need to be the second generation so that it feels bedded in to really enjoy it.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  I think the problem for me is, I don't think North London, it's not a specific enough, it's not got a personality. If I think of North London, I think, oh, what, that really affluent place where like people from the media live.

• 13:01Speaker 05

  Arsenal did start in Woolwich.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 13:04Speaker 05

  So the forever bit really does take the legs out.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  Let's not, let's not bring that up.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Um, they're going to win the league.

• 13:11Speaker 05

  I think so. I've got, shall I, before we do chronological.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  Really boring.

• 13:15Speaker 05

  Shall I go through quick little bullet points that we can dig into deeper that I've got and you can do the same? I've, I'd love to chat about Brick, Brick the mascot.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Who's Brick the mascot?

• 13:26Speaker 05

  Um, I think he's Hull's new mascot.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we're not on still on Arsenal, sorry.

• 13:32Speaker 05

  No, I'm going off chronological. I'm just going to go bullet points. Forget Arsenal. They won.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Boring. Yeah, we've got nothing to say on Arsenal.

• 13:40Speaker 05

  No, absolutely nothing. Really good team. If they get Julian Alvarez, the whole league's in trouble.

• 13:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 05

  Um, I love Mark Chapman. I don't know if you want to go into that now or we do that later?

• 13:50Speaker 04

  The guy that killed John Lennon?

• 13:53Speaker 05

  No, um, the guy that now seemingly presents match of the day and Super Sunday.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  I think he's brilliant. I think, oh, does he do Super Sunday as well?

• 14:01Speaker 05

  Dave bloke.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  What's Dave Jones? I don't know what's happened there. He, he seems to, I think the BBC's three replacements of Gary Lineker are all brilliant.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're all excellent. Agree.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  All excellent. I think they're all brilliant.

• 14:17Speaker 05

  But I saw Mark Chapman talking to Daniel Sturridge and Mika Richards about Newcastle Liverpool.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, he seems to have crept onto Sky.

• 14:25Speaker 05

  I don't know what's happened to David Jones. Is he still doing Mondays?

• 14:28Speaker 04

  I don't know. I, can I be honest? And Mark Chapman doesn't suffer from this in the same way. But I, I don't think Pugach does quite.

• 14:38Speaker 05

  So I love you saying the word Pugach.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  I think Pugach is good.

• 14:44Speaker 05

  Can you say Mark Pugach, but like in an animated, quite lively way of like, imagine Mark Pugach has walked into a nightclub with two women on his arms popping champagne and you're like, have you seen, have you seen what Mark Pugach is up to?

• 14:57Speaker 04

  Have you seen what Mark Pugach is up to?

• 15:04Speaker 04

  So I like Pugs, right?

• 15:06Speaker 05

  I love Pugs and Chapman. I don't mind David Jones.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  But they all fall into this problematic area of, I can't, and I'd throw Dan Walker back in the day in with this and I'd throw Ed Chamberlain in with this. I can't quite tell them all apart.

• 15:23Speaker 05

  And, and I'd put Jake Humphrey in the body of Thanos.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 05

  As the sort of nucleus of this. This presenter type that isn't a footballer, but he's trying to be pally with footballers.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  It's, it's a poison chalice.

• 15:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, but Chappers is great.

• 15:37Speaker 05

  He's great. We love Chaps because he's not trying to be a footballer type. He's just doing what he does.

• 15:41Speaker 04

  He's a laugh. He's quite rye, Chapman. Do you know what I mean? He's not, it doesn't feel like Chapman takes himself too seriously.

• 15:47Speaker 05

  And his beard's not too neat.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:49Speaker 05

  Because I think footballers have neat beards.

• 15:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like Chappers.

• 15:53Speaker 05

  Chaps a bit rough around the edges. Anyway, so I love Chaps. We, I mean, the plan of going.

• 15:57Speaker 04

  He's taking on Sky, is he?

• 15:59Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  Because doesn't he also do? He does, I think he does. He does Five Live on a Saturday as well. He must be knackered.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  Is he a twin?

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Well, he's just, he's just put Ed Chamberlain in. No one's noticed.

• 16:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. So there's a shake up. There is a shake up.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  Oh, is there?

• 16:19Speaker 05

  There is a shake up. Yeah. It's on the radio times. No, that's match of the day shake. The shake up, there's no shake up. It's still them three.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  There's no shake up.

• 16:26Speaker 05

  Oh no, there's a shake up on pundits because a lot left. Rooney left, didn't he?

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Did he?

• 16:31Speaker 05

  Has he? Okay. Right. Here's a new pundits on match of the day. Toby Alderweireld.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  Alderweireld? Is he not playing still?

• 16:40Speaker 05

  Nah. Robbie Keane, Ashley Young.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Keane, Ashley Young.

• 16:44Speaker 05

  Alan Shearer, Rooney's still there. Joe Hart, Mika Richards, Ellen White, Steph Houghton, Danny Murphy, Ashley Williams. That's the new, yeah. So that's BBC. I don't know what's going on with Sky.

• 16:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  Now, Josh, we need to talk about the football, but I have to talk about Richard Keys and Andy Gray. Shall we leave that to the end?

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's leave that to the end.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  That has to be done at the end. Let's go through the order. So Arsenal one.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Man Uv hole then, that's lunchtime.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  So they've got a mascot that's a brick quite like that, I imagine.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Can I just say, I'll never, I just don't think I'll ever stop finding Man U losing funny.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  It's brilliant. It's absolutely great.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  It's so funny. And how, I can't believe that it's going to happen again. I just can't believe it.

• 17:28Speaker 05

  It's like, they've not changed from Salford, just getting the shit ex-player in to manage and it just falls apart.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  So sad. They all, the managers looking, Michael, could you do a montage for our Instagram? A Man U manager's looking sad.

• 17:41Speaker 05

  You can't make him do that. He's a Man United fan.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  No, but he'll get someone else to do it. They all just look so sad.

• 17:48Speaker 05

  So playing North London forever and from after Fergie, every single Man United manager looking sad.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:55Speaker 05

  Honestly, Man United losing, you know, when they go, oh, can you give us a bank holiday? That's enough. You know, when they always ask for bank holiday if something big happens?

• 18:03Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  To lift the mood of the nation?

• 18:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:06Speaker 05

  I just don't think they've needed to because Man United have been crap for so long.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  It's so fun. It's so fun because you go, the bit where the train's not allowed to leave. Have you seen that?

• 18:15Speaker 05

  Well, I've got, yeah, talk about that. I've got another thing to talk about.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  So if you haven't seen this, it's absolutely incredible. They're announced halfway through, right? They're two nil down and there's a, there's no need for this announcement in the ground.

• 18:28Speaker 05

  The delivery is so pointed as well.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, that the train to Manchester's been cancelled and the cheer is incredible. Can I also say, you know, when people, I hate it when they do this on match of the day. They'll go, um, obviously, uh, Man U lost, but, um, we should talk about Hull. No, no one wants to know.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  They were really good.

• 18:51Speaker 05

  No one cares.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  No one cares.

• 18:53Speaker 05

  Let's just talk about them falling apart.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  If Plymouth beat Man U, I'm, but no one needs to hear about Plymouth. I don't think anyone, no one cares. Everyone cares about Man U losing. It's the best. It's so funny.

• 19:07Speaker 05

  Carrick looks so sad in his interview. John Arna Fjord, you know, what was his name? John Arna Fjordoff? Fjordoff?

• 19:13Speaker 04

  Is he in his team?

• 19:14Speaker 05

  No, he's an interviewer. He retired about 20 years ago.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  John Arna Fjordoff's the interviewer?

• 19:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, for like a Scandinavian.

• 19:22Speaker 04

  Oh, right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I thought, I didn't mean his team. I thought he, I thought he was in his backroom staff when you said.

• 19:29Speaker 05

  I thought he meant he was in his line.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  I meant, is he like his, one of his coaches or something? I love it when you get a coach, like, fucking hell, there he is, Jimmy Floyd Hasselback's in the back. Most surprising coach in the background staff. Do email it.

• 19:44Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, that's a good, yeah, because Hasselback used to be at England, which is surprising.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  That always got me. What the fuck's Hasselback doing in the England staff?

• 19:52Speaker 05

  Gabriel Heinze is the backroom staff at Arsenal.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  Is he?

• 19:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, the left back for Man United.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Why is that then?

• 20:01Speaker 05

  Oh, he's Argentinian, but played in Italy.

• 20:04Speaker 05

  So he said to Carrick in an interview, did your team not have enough passion? And Carrick looks so upset. He, he, his face was like, if someone said to me, sorry, I'm at a kid's birthday party and someone come over to me and went, sorry, but your daughter's a bit of a bitch. That's how his face looked. Oh, you can't say that.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Well, it's weird because I saw Alan Shearer saying, and I like Alan Shearer, he's saying like, they're not, they don't look fit. You're like, that can't, that simply can't at this level be the case, can it?

• 20:38Speaker 05

  No.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  They can't have got to the season and gone, shit, fucking hell, we haven't, we haven't.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  A lot of them weren't even in the World Cup, were they?

• 20:47Speaker 04

  No, they only played six games last year. They're going to be fine.

• 20:52Speaker 05

  Well, so, so Man U, so Man U had a crap. That's fun.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  That's fun.

• 20:57Speaker 05

  Oh, the other, oh, do you hear what Joe Cole said and got in trouble?

• 21:00Speaker 04

  No.

• 21:01Speaker 05

  He said that obviously Hull Man United was the first game on TNT Sports.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Right.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  And he said that he turned his phone off when they were trying to book people to do it because he didn't want to have to go to Hull.

• 21:11Speaker 04

  Good line, good line.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  And I just sort of thought, well, no offence to Hull, but if you do live in London, you don't want to be in a Hull game.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Well, this is, this comes down to some of the, a lot of the Plymouth fans talk about, Rob.

• 21:26Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  The, the TV don't, don't give it, we don't get enough games because the TV can't be bothered to come to Plymouth.

• 21:32Speaker 05

  No, I think it's because Plymouth are shit. And if they're in the Premier League, they'd get more games.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  No, no, when the, when the League Ones are dolled out. Oh, yeah.

• 21:41Speaker 05

  Oh, the League One games.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They want to go to Leyton Orient. Of course they bloody do. Yeah. But they won't come down to Plymouth on a Tuesday night. I, you forget this, that we think it's a really glorious job. But the people that get the kind of B games, I'm not saying Hull Man U is a B game, but like.

• 22:02Speaker 05

  No, that's a A game.

• 22:03Speaker 04

  Like, and I don't think this is unfair, but you, you've got the, the A-list player, you get the A-list pundits.

• 22:09Speaker 05

  Leeds Fulham on a Tuesday night.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. If you're picked for that, you're gutted and you're driving yourself presumably up to Leeds. And then it's 10pm and you're like.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  You have to stand in front of the Leeds fans or the Fulham fans at Charny, you're a wanker.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. And you're like, I thought I've had such a better football career than Mika Richards. Now he's getting all the good games and I'm fucking here. I played like.

• 22:37Speaker 05

  You won a Champions League.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  I won a Champions League. He whipped nothing, but now.

• 22:43Speaker 05

  He played for Fiorentina for 17 minutes.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Now, here I am in Leeds.

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• 24:26Speaker 05

  Um, well, other, other, other things that went on, West Ham lost, that's quite funny.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Oh, so funny, so funny.

• 24:32Speaker 05

  Away to Charlton, London Derby.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  Now, I'm going to be working with Danny Dyer for the next few months, so, but.

• 24:39Speaker 05

  Are you? Oh, daughter Danny.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Daughter Danny. I, no, no.

• 24:43Speaker 05

  Jared.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  I'm in a Nick Love film. Did you not know that?

• 24:47Speaker 05

  He was in Rise of the Foot Soldier 26. You're playing Larry the slag, aren't you?

• 24:52Speaker 04

  But it is quite funny that, like, it's funny that West Ham are. I, I, I don't think there's anyone in the, you know, when they say, I, I just don't believe, except West Ham fans, there's anyone in the country that doesn't want them to fail.

• 25:06Speaker 05

  I mean, yeah, because if, if a big team like West Ham are, get relegated, any self-respecting football fan wants them to get relegated again.

• 25:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  That's funny. And it doesn't, and that's not a dig at West Ham. If it was Leeds or Everton.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, anyway. And you know when people go, I like to see, it's West, I want to see West Ham in the Premier League. No, I don't.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  They're the only Spurs club. I would love them to go down.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  National League, immediately.

• 25:36Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, but the Premier League won't be the same without Arsenal. Fucking hell, come on, it'd be brilliant if they went down.

• 25:43Speaker 05

  I'm sure it'll cope.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll forget in a minute.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  Um, well, so West Ham are rubbish at the moment.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 25:50Speaker 05

  Um, what else have we got here? Now, now, one thing I wanted to talk about, I tried to watch Match of the Day.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 05

  But it was on at 20 past 10.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 05

  It's a bit late for a mammy kids. So I thought, you know what I'll do is, I'm in Centre Park, we're going to get up early, we've booked the swimming. We've got jet skis in the swimming pool at 8.40, so we've got an early start. Yeah, don't you worry about that. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that on Parenting Now. I'll watch it early because in my head, I swear, Match of the Day was like 7am. Because that makes sense, doesn't it?

• 26:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 05

  8.40, it's too late.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  Too late. Can't you watch it on iPlayer?

• 26:24Speaker 05

  Well, no, good point actually. Can you? You want to be on?

• 26:29Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can watch Match of the Day whenever you want.

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I just thought, I just think it should be earlier on a Sunday.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, I agree.

• 26:37Speaker 05

  If you've missed it the night before, you're up from seven, bang it on at seven.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 26:42Speaker 05

  You're jet skiing before you know it.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  Oh, no, exactly, exactly.

• 26:46Speaker 05

  Did you watch Match of the Day?

• 26:48Speaker 04

  Uh, no, because I.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Me neither. So let's not, let's not worry about excuses. We're just doing a football podcast and now we've seen all the goals.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  I watched three minutes of Alan Shearer's punditry on, on the toilet.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  I thought his polo shirt was too thick.

• 27:00Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 27:01Speaker 05

  For August. He said it was like a cable knitting of Christmasy.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Rob, I've been in that room. They, I can't tell you how.

• 27:10Speaker 05

  This is at Salford, Salford, Salford.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, have you been in the room they do it in?

• 27:14Speaker 05

  So this is where they do eight out of 10 cats does countdown.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:17Speaker 05

  I've never been in the room, but I always know that that's happening near.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 05

  I've not been in there. What's it like in there?

• 27:23Speaker 04

  It's just a green room. It's just a small green room.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  He's just so, so like, right, yeah, of course, of course. They're sat there, there's no windows, it's all green, there's three cameras.

• 27:43Speaker 05

  And they can't see what's behind them until it's on the telly, kind of.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  They can't see what's behind them at all.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, because it's all green.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  It's all green because it could be football focus, it couldn't anymore.

• 27:53Speaker 05

  I feel like green screen was a thing that was massive about 15 years ago. And it feels a bit like match of the day went, guys, this is the future.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:02Speaker 05

  It has to be green screen.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  I know because it wouldn't be a problem to just, do you know, I often think with this stuff, you know, like when the players walk out on match of the day. You know, like when they, they're talking about a player and he'll appear as a kind of thing behind them or whatever on the side.

• 28:19Speaker 05

  But when they're talking about a player and he's there like with his arms crossed and he shows his stats.

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Like that in 10 years, we're going to go, that's the shittest thing that ever happened. That's just so shit.

• 28:28Speaker 05

  But then Alan Shearer sat there with his Christmas polo shirt on behind a green screen, in front of a green screen.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Do you think that's.

• 28:35Speaker 05

  And he's coming to Manchester for that.

• 28:37Speaker 04

  I know.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  So he drives to Manchester on a Saturday to sit in front of a green screen to talk about the football.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  In a polo shirt that was a present for his birthday. When was his birthday?

• 28:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, let's get, let's get that detail.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  Well, just to check if it was recent.

• 28:54Speaker 05

  Have you checked in your fantasy league team, by the way?

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Oh, here you go, Rob. Alan Shearer's birthday was 10 days ago. That's a present.

• 29:01Speaker 05

  That's a present. He thought, Joe, what? I'll bang it out early doors because they've gone, that'd be nice for your match of the day. That is definitely a present, isn't it? If you know Alan Shearer or if you are Alan Shearer, if that was a present, let us know. It screams present, doesn't it?

• 29:15Speaker 04

  It does.

• 29:16Speaker 05

  And he's thought, I'll bang it out on the first one.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Match of the day, of course, yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 05

  It's August. Who's putting up, who's wearing that in August?

• 29:24Speaker 05

  Anyway, Spurs are shit. Now, can I talk about Spurs loss 3-0 to Brentford?

• 29:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:33Speaker 05

  Big up my goalkeeper, one of the blonde boys that kept a clean sheet. Now, can I, can I talk about something? This may upset Spurs fans.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 05

  People go, Jamie O'Hara is the worst for this. Spurs are back, they're so back, right?

• 29:47Speaker 04

  They've just spent lots of money.

• 29:48Speaker 05

  Well, no, as in they're going to, well, they've said it last couple of years that they're going to be top six or top four again. Now, in my experience, and I'm, I'm, I'm saying this seriously and I'm not trying to do this to rage bait anyone. In my opinion, apart from the last sort of like Harry Kane years, sort of the last, not the last two years, maybe. So forget that, there was about a five, six year period where they had Harry Kane, Poch and Son, and they did quite well and got top four. Apart from that, in my living memory, they've always been absolute shite.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  They had one, maybe two years with Gareth Bale and Harry Redknapp.

• 30:23Speaker 05

  But then that was sort of like, yeah, that flash in the pan.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  They got in the Champions League, didn't they?

• 30:26Speaker 05

  Klinsmann turned up, but they've always been sort of, in my living memory, mid-table.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  I, I would say, and this isn't trying to rage bait.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  Like, if we take out of the fact that they won the double in 1961, which I don't think is.

• 30:40Speaker 05

  I don't think you can take that out, not now, not in 2026. You've got to leave that in.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Yes, they won the double.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  You've got to respect the pre Premier League years.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  So they won the double in 1961.

• 30:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  I don't think, in, in my lifetime, if you, you know, in our head, we've all got like an average position for a team. I would say Spurs average position is eighth.

• 31:09Speaker 05

  Hundred percent, eight to 10, that's it. And then they had a few years of going beyond that and then dropping again. That's where they.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Give me another team, I'll give you their average, where they should finish.

• 31:17Speaker 05

  Okay, Aston Villa.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  Aston Villa, they're 12th.

• 31:22Speaker 05

  Oh, okay. I'd go six or seven.

• 31:24Speaker 04

  No, because they had the down, didn't they?

• 31:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, they've come back again. Do you want another team?

• 31:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on.

• 31:30Speaker 05

  Everton.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  Everton, they're another one who are constantly back, but really they're 15th.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was going to say 15.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  They're constantly back, but they're not.

• 31:43Speaker 05

  I think Everton fans have got a bit more humility, but I think the Tottenham fans got so swept up in the Poch era that they go, we're back. But actually Tottenham being back is eighth.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  And you've just got to move on from that double in 1961. Okay, next.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Next. Oh, did you see this? This is a little bit left, left field. I don't know who he played for, but he used to play for Newport County and he scored against them for his new club, Bobby Camwa.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  Right.

• 32:08Speaker 05

  And he ran the length of the pitch to celebrate in front of the away fans.

• 32:12Speaker 04

  He did that by all.

• 32:14Speaker 05

  Yeah. And do you know what? I loved it. And do you know what I love even more than that is, you know, when like commentators go, oh, it's a shame to see that. No, it's not.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  No, it's not. It's not.

• 32:24Speaker 05

  No, it's not. That's all we want to see. Ideally, a full fight as well.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 32:28Speaker 05

  A full, a full fight with punches and a 10-game ban, please.

• 32:32Speaker 04

  I, I think, you know, I think the worst thing sports coverage can ever do is cut away from a, from a, from a pitch invasion. I hate that streakers.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  Love, I love, I love it.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  You've got to stay on that and B, we do, we do want to see a fight. We absolutely do. When it's after the match, you can't be cutting away from that. That's what we're here for. That's the.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  Bristol Rovers he plays for, Bobby Camwa. So respect to Bobby Camwa.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  The, the Gasheads?

• 33:03Speaker 05

  I don't know, Michael will check.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  Well, they're the Pirates, they're also the Gasheads.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  I think if you've got any great ex-player stories.

• 33:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  When they've come back, stuff they've done, especially in the lower leagues that may not have been covered. Because obviously the Premier League is a bit biased on coverage. If any lower league ex-player stuff happens, let us know.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  The Gas, they're called.

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Email, the Gas, they're called the Gas. Email into [email protected]. A big up Bobby Camwa for celebrating in front of. I mean, I'm an Arsenal fan. I loved what Eddie Bile done for us. It was hilarious.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  Newport County. What I like about that as well, I suppose there's a slight Bristol Newport County regional rivalry to an extent. But they're not classic rivals. But I just wouldn't think that would be such a. Because I, I presume you feel the same. What do you think about players that don't celebrate against their old club?

• 33:58Speaker 05

  I think if they've been there for years and years, like Lampard or, you know, like, I get it. We know when he scored against Chelsea, Man City, because it's like, you've been this, but when they've like played a season. If, if I played for a club and then I scored against them, I'd be, if I, well, if, look, put it into my career, right? Say I had a TV show cancelled, right? Say I was on the BBC, had a show cancelled and then like won a, I won a BAFTA for the, the ITV show that I was on.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  Would you run the length of Royal Albert Hall?

• 34:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, and, and I'd knee slide in front of the commissioners of the BBC. If that was, if that was a genuine possibility of like the physics of that, then yeah, wouldn't you?

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:38Speaker 05

  That'd be great.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally. I would. I, I think, I think you've just got to, I think the.

• 34:44Speaker 05

  I don't think I can knee slide though.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  No, do you know what? I've never really fancied it. It's the thought of like hitting a twig or something. I mean, you're not going to hit a twig on a major, major football pitch.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  How fit do you have to be to get away with a knee slide and not break everything? Because I, the thought of me knee sliding now, even on like just actual like guaranteed sludge, I'd struggle with the idea of it. I genuinely think my both legs would explode. In this, in this, you start a wildfire, mate.

• 35:11Speaker 05

  There'd be an emergency alert, no knee slides off Beckett.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  What would be, here's a question for you.

• 35:18Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 35:19Speaker 04

  Rob Beckett, right?

• 35:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  If you're as good as Lionel Messi, yeah? Talk me through your club career from the age of 16 to 38 when you retire. Are you a one club man?

• 35:34Speaker 05

  If I'm as good as Messi.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  So you're as good as Messi, you can start, where would you like to start? When are you moving? Where would you like to end?

• 35:40Speaker 05

  So I, I think I'd like to break.

• 35:42Speaker 04

  What year were you 16? So we want to get a feeling on the year.

• 35:45Speaker 05

  Got you. So I'm Rooney's age.

• 35:47Speaker 04

  Right, okay.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  So I'm breaking through when Rooney's breaking through, okay?

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Okay, cool.

• 35:51Speaker 05

  This is what I'm doing. I'm doing two years at Crystal Palace.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 05

  I break, I played for them at 15, yeah?

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 05

  I have two seasons from 16 to 18.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  Moved to Arsenal.

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 05

  Then I do a few years at Arsenal, four, four years at Arsenal. So I'm 22.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:10Speaker 05

  Then I go to, now, I'll go Real Madrid, I think.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 05

  I go Real Madrid.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  You're a Galactico. At the absolute height of them or maybe just after the height of the Galactico.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, so yeah, I'll be there. I'll be, yeah, I'll be, I'll be a Galactico with Beckham and that lot. And I'm basically up front the rail.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:32Speaker 05

  Yeah. Do a few years there. Then I'm, to be honest, I'm sort of a little bit side-straddling Beckham.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  Because I'm going from there to, I'm doing Bayern Munich, actually.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 36:43Speaker 05

  I'm going Bayern Munich.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  To be loved there. I love to win the league and have those massive pints.

• 36:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  You know, the massive pints and where you're.

• 36:51Speaker 04

  It's probably under Pep as well by this point.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I'd have Lederhosen on, I'd fit the aesthetic, I'd look great. Then I'm, I'm slipping over to Italy.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  To do, I mean, Beckham was an 80 man, so I might, I might go Juventus.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:08Speaker 05

  A few years there. I mean, I don't know.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  You're really globe trying around it.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, but yeah, I've not even touched it. Then, then I go PSG.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  Then I go Crystal Palace again.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  Oh, tearful homecoming.

• 37:21Speaker 05

  Finish there at 40, then I go to America.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  And then I do, I'll do Orlando, so I can go Disney.

• 37:34Speaker 05

  What a career though.

• 37:36Speaker 04

  What a career.

• 37:37Speaker 05

  Can you imagine it?

• 37:38Speaker 04

  And, and are you sticking with Lou or are you going for a different wife?

• 37:42Speaker 05

  No, I'll have Lou, but because of my position as a footballer, I'd have numerous mistresses. I think it's like being in the mafia, like, and Lou would understand because I'm just a jobbing comic podcaster. You know, no one wants it, but when you're a footballer, you know, you're knee deep in it and I'll go, look, I love you. You're the main, but I've got a couple of, you know.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  Come on, the boys would absolutely hang me out to dry if I didn't.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. I've got to be in part of the group to sit. You can't win a Ballon d'Or with one wife. So Lou would understand and then I'd, I'd knock that on the edge. Once I got back to Crystal Palace and go, look,

• 38:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 05

  I'm 40 now, let's crack on in Orlando, just me, you and the kids.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  And before I know it, one of my exes is on celebs on the farm, wanking off a pig and I'm like, oh God, nightmare.

• 38:28Speaker 05

  Not ideal.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  Not ideal, but you know, we play the cards.

• 38:31Speaker 05

  That's, that's life. That's life.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  That's life. Okay.

• 38:34Speaker 05

  That's life as a footballer.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  We got to Tottenham being rubbish. Funny. Oh, can I ask about De Zerbi? Cause they lost to Brentford. Brentford's manager, whose name escapes me, he's a very good Irish guy.

• 38:48Speaker 04

  Who's done a very good job there.

• 38:50Speaker 05

  Michael, can you find that out please?

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Michael will know it, won't he?

• 38:53Speaker 06

  Keith Andrews.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Keith Andrews.

• 38:54Speaker 05

  Keith Andrews.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  He's doing a great job at Brentford, but then so was Thomas Frank. So was Iriola at Bournemouth. So was De Zerbi at Brighton. Is it possible for a manager to leave the three boring Bs and be a success at a bigger club?

• 39:12Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, the madness for Tottenham is, and this was what, it does feel like a self fulfilling prophecy of this Spursy thing is, last season they took the most successful manager Brentford's ever had.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  And then he nearly got them relegated.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 39:25Speaker 05

  And then they've gone back to Brentford after spending 200 million. And this is the first manager they've backed in years. And then they've gone back to Brentford who had to rebuild after losing the most successful managers and then lost them 3-0.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  And Brentford, to be honest, it didn't even touch the sides losing Thomas Frank.

• 39:40Speaker 05

  Well, that's Sangher, whoever he is, that is, I think it's from Mali, that he was unbelievable and he cost like 35, 39 million. And so what's happening in football, if you're spending like silly money on Tenali, who's good, don't get me wrong. But how's that fellow slip through the net?

• 39:58Speaker 04

  I know. It's weird. I don't understand.

• 40:00Speaker 05

  Have you heard about room? I don't know if this is true or not, but Tottenham are buying Savino and Marmoosh.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Right, yeah.

• 40:07Speaker 05

  But Marmoosh is 59 million and Savino is like 85 million. But I think what potentially, I think if Marmoosh is sold for more than 60 million, his old club gets a bonus.

• 40:20Speaker 04

  Right. Oh, I see.

• 40:22Speaker 05

  You see what I'm saying here? So essentially.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. Yeah, right.

• 40:26Speaker 05

  You know, do you know what I'm saying?

• 40:28Speaker 04

  No.

• 40:29Speaker 05

  So hiring Ant and Dec, but paying Ant loads.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 05

  Cause if you pay Dec any more than he should do.

• 40:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 05

  He's gonna have to give ITV a tickle.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  So we're enjoying Tottenham being rubbish.

• 40:45Speaker 05

  That's fun. Um, what else? It's just great to be back. I thought the penalty was harsh for Newcastle Liverpool.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  No, I mean, did you think it?

• 40:55Speaker 05

  Yeah. Lewis Hall's off weight as well. He's got welter.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, you know.

• 40:59Speaker 05

  I thought it was like a bit harsh because he didn't really move his leg that much. The geezer like ran into his leg.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, but.

• 41:06Speaker 05

  But I don't, can I, I don't know what the rule is though, to be honest.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  No, neither do I. His leg was there. They seemed to bang, bang, punch into each other and he fell over. And I quite fancy Slobosly.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  I think he's good looking.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  I'd fuck him.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  I, I think I'm quite bad.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think if I was to sleep with a footballer, he'd be up there.

• 41:27Speaker 05

  He loves himself though, but I think he'd be, I think he smells good, takes care of himself and he'd treat you well. He does. I feel like he loves himself a lot.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Can I be the first to say this, Rob? I think pundits need to stop saying how good Florian Wirtz is, because maybe he's just not.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  Cause he's not doing anything good.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  It's been over a year now, but we've been told he's not playing well, but he is good. Maybe he's not good.

• 41:55Speaker 05

  How about you? It's your good mate. Why don't you play good?

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I'm so bored of hearing you're good.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  And also, I know you've moved club, but it's still football. We've not put you on a cricket team.

• 42:08Speaker 05

  You should watch him play football.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  What's going on? Why, why is everyone saying he's so good?

• 42:14Speaker 05

  Since he started doing this, I thought, we'll talk about football. All I really want to talk about is pundits.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  Like that, I just find them more fascinating than the game.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  Cause they constantly have to say stuff, but also hamstrung by not wanting to piss off their ex club. Also not wanting to piss off the league or their employer.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. I bet Gary Neville and Roy Keane and that lot are like, oh God, we had that whole thing with Solskjaer where we couldn't say anything.

• 42:44Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 42:45Speaker 04

  Now we're back, we're back in the same fucking position again with Carrick. Oh God.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  Imagine that. Imagine the situation now, Josh, right?

• 42:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 05

  For example, for example, James Tait Casta and Romesh are the manager and assistant manager of Tottenham.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 05

  What would, we'd have to go, or you know, it's a tough away game, no, isn't it Brentford? The team needs time to settle. They've got a lot of new players coming because you couldn't, they're our mates.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  No, exactly.

• 43:15Speaker 05

  Cause also it's beyond like, oh, you know, it's a professional thing. Like you think, oh no, my mate rung me the other day, bit down in the dumps. I can't just like hammer him on the.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Cause Solskjaer's probably in WhatsApp groups with Gary Neville. Like, there's like situation.

• 43:33Speaker 05

  Yeah. So it's just like an awkward Carrick's getting hammered, Solskjaer getting hammered.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, oh fucking hell, like John O'Shea's getting married and I'm going to be on his table, aren't I?

• 43:48Speaker 05

  Wes Brown set up a GoFundMe. Oh no, we're all on there.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Oh God.

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• 45:33Speaker 04

  Well, I think it would be better if they just said, do you know what? Rather than pretend, they just need to go, this is far too awkward. This is too awkward. I know him. Like, can you ask me?

• 45:46Speaker 05

  And just pop off.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  I can't possibly, you know, like when someone says, what about your mate? They'll go, oh, he's a bit of a dick. And you go, well.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  He's my mate. I don't want to say anything.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 45:59Speaker 05

  He's a good guy, but obviously stuff's not going right at the moment, but like, it's not fair. He's my mate. I'm not going to say anything.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 05

  You take him how you find him.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  You take Michael Carrick how you find him. Okay. Look.

• 46:11Speaker 05

  He's my good friend. Yeah. But it's Monday night football, Gary. I know.

• 46:16Speaker 05

  But he's my friend.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Um, Michael.

• 46:21Speaker 05

  Michael, Michael's, so let's speak to Michael because he is a Man United fan. And also then let's get into Richard Keys and Andy Gray. Cause I think that needs to be discussed.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay.

• 46:29Speaker 05

  But Michael, how do you feel about the start of the season?

• 46:32Speaker 04

  Barcelona 1-0 up against Elch.

• 46:35Speaker 05

  Let's draw the line at Europe. Let's draw the, let's.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Can't be called Elch.

• 46:41Speaker 05

  Elche.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Elche.

• 46:45Speaker 05

  We've got to keep an eye on Jude Belling as well. See what he's up to.

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Oh yeah. I enjoyed Mourinho winning his first game in the last minute. That was fun.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Oh, we've got to talk about Pep Guardiola's documentary as well. Michael, talk to us about Man United. We'll do Pep Guardiola, then Keys and Gray.

• 46:59Speaker 06

  Okay. What would you like to know?

• 47:00Speaker 04

  And then have we got any letters? Emails?

• 47:02Speaker 06

  We've got lots of emails. Yeah. But we won't need them for this episode. So it's up to you.

• 47:05Speaker 05

  So it's this episode.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Cause we love them.

• 47:08Speaker 05

  I'm aware I'm oversight and slightly pissed.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  I haven't even, I haven't even, I just thought if we got any.

• 47:16Speaker 05

  There's a good one here. Hello, Rob. It's hard to work out which channels the football is on. I agree. I use www.live-footballonTV.com. It tells the live channel that any football game is on in the UK.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Very useful.

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Obviously not all games are televised. Thank you, Jacob. Michael, Michael Carrick and Man United. Talk to me.

• 47:34Speaker 06

  I think it was the wrong appointment. I think it's, a decision can be right and wrong at the same time. It was difficult not to give him the job, but there's no way it was going to work.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  I think, I think they had to give it to, they had to go through it. Those players that are too in awe of Fergie as well, that go back, it's pathetic.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  Oh, they have to ring him to, ring him to make a sub.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  Can I say one thing about the Hull United game that you missed?

• 47:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Which is the, um, the clip of the Hull fans doing that weird like mauled by the Tigers.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Oh, I don't like that.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  I would genuinely rather get relegated as a Manchester United fan than have to do that in the stands after a victory. I think it's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's awful.

• 48:13Speaker 05

  Is that new? So they do this, they get their hands like a tiger's claws and go, you're getting mauled by the Tigers.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  God, it's so lame. It's so pathetic.

• 48:22Speaker 05

  I don't mind the chant, it's the hands is too much, isn't it?

• 48:25Speaker 04

  I also think.

• 48:26Speaker 05

  Mauled by the tiger. Why are they Hull Tigers anyway? What's that? What Hull got to do with Tigers?

• 48:30Speaker 04

  I tell you what, you're getting sat on by the chair, boys. Sat on by the chair.

• 48:34Speaker 05

  Chair, boys.

• 48:36Speaker 04

  You're getting sat on by the chair, boys.

• 48:39Speaker 05

  Gassed by the gas. You're getting, that's too much.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  Oh, this is good. Can I just read this? And then just to show we're getting lots of emails.

• 48:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  That is funny.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  Someone's shown us the Spotify. Thank you to James from Bath, who's, um, who's sent us the Spotify captions. And throughout it said that we were referring to Neil Walnut's head.

• 49:04Speaker 05

  Walnut.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  Walnut, yeah. Um, Rob, someone, I have a message for you. This is a while, but it didn't really fit into your parenting podcast. However, now you have a football cup podcast, the stars have aligned. I've been playing Championship manager 0102 since Easter.

• 49:20Speaker 05

  What a game.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  And have just started my 17th year as Plymouth Argyle manager. Here we go. Couple of seasons back, look what regeneration name came in and also he plays for.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  No way.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Robert Beckett, goalkeeper at Arsenal.

• 49:35Speaker 05

  Goalkeeper? Five for eight goalkeeper. You've got to send it. Are you sending it?

• 49:39Speaker 04

  That's from Ian in Plymouth. Thank you to Ian in Plymouth. That is.

• 49:42Speaker 05

  Is he any good in goal?

• 49:44Speaker 04

  He's got four England caps.

• 49:46Speaker 05

  Well, come on. Michael Ricketts played for England.

• 49:52Speaker 05

  We're making a lot of enemies on this show.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  We are, aren't we?

• 49:56Speaker 05

  I don't give a fuck though.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  Tried to sign him every, several times. However, his love for Arsenal is as strong in the game as it is in real life. You're a good goalkeeper.

• 50:03Speaker 05

  Handling 20 out of 20, influence. 20 out of 20.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:08Speaker 05

  Look at that, finishing three B as a keeper.

• 50:11Speaker 04

  Teamwork one, it's not wrong.

• 50:13Speaker 05

  Ah, it's bang on the money.

• 50:17Speaker 05

  Who, who, who created that game? Nostradamus?

• 50:20Speaker 04

  All right. Talk to me about Keys and Gray.

• 50:23Speaker 05

  Right.

• 50:23Speaker 04

  You watched him live.

• 50:24Speaker 05

  There's so much to unpack now. For people, we, I'm aware that we've got a lot of parenting hell listeners that maybe not football. It's their first choice of a hobby. Keys and Gray, quick background, they used to be the main presenters on Premier League on Sky Sports. When it first got launched, they were massive mega stars. Keys was the presenter. Andy Gray was his right hand man, ex-player. They got sacked eventually for being recorded saying quite disparaging remarks, um, about female referee assistants. Um, some sexist overtones.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 05

  They got sacked. And then within getting sacked, within a couple of years, went to Qatar to earn an absolute fortune in the Middle East. So I've never known, and Gray isn't as bad as Keys for this.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  No.

• 51:06Speaker 05

  Anyone to have been cancelled that has led on to such a lucrative job to be so bitter.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 05

  Bitter about everything. They've got, they've started a new podcast because their contract.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  outwardly bitter as well.

• 51:19Speaker 05

  The contract in Qatar's ended, so they're back in the UK with Keys and Gray unleashed. It's them two talking about football.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  With a bottle of wine outside London Bridge, Bridge.

• 51:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, like the Tower Bridge.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  Tower Bridge, sorry.

• 51:32Speaker 05

  Bottle of champagne, talking about football. Now, my big, the two things are the bitterness, two, the shit jokes and three, the unreasonable red nap hatred. And finally, the thing that annoys me the most is Richard Keys has walked into Zara and taken every single baseball cap off of every single mannequin. And has got a pastel coloured baseball cap that he wears on every episode. And he looks insane. And his top, he looks like he's got a job at some sort of like, sort of software company in California. And he's floating around in pastel tops and a cap that he wears no matter what.

• 52:13Speaker 05

  Like on the show, he wore it for the photo shoot. And now I'm wearing a cap now because of my airs medal. He wore it in the photo shoot. It's just like, the hat's the thing.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 05

  And then it, I'm obsessed with it.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Starts with Richard Keys doing some observational about what the best cup halt, what the best cups are.

• 52:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:32Speaker 04

  Um, and then he talked, I mean, he's, there's a great bit where he talks about Ayman Holmes, going for breakfast with Ayman Holmes.

• 52:38Speaker 05

  Oh, he goes out of nowhere. He goes, yeah, because I was having breakfast with Ayman Holmes. And I was like, right, how can that be the middle of a sentence? Surely it's the start and then the story begin. I don't care about, if you tell me you've recently gone for breakfast with Ayman Holmes. I don't want to hear anything else other than a full debrief of that.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Do you know what? I think the same problem, they've got the same problem with their podcasts as we have with ours. They did about 35 minutes of stuff that I would describe as gold. And then they started talking about the actual games. And I was like, no, no, not interested. Don't care.

• 53:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, totally agree.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  Just want you talking about how you know someone that thinks that Infantino's not going to make it, like you're, like you're a fucking spy.

• 53:26Speaker 05

  Did you, um, see them, the, the Instagram clip of them going into the offices of their podcast?

• 53:30Speaker 04

  So good. Doing a joke about Bruce Forsyth.

• 53:33Speaker 05

  Yeah. So they walk in and they say to an older guy, who's probably the podcast producer.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:39Speaker 05

  And I don't know if you noticed this, there's a younger guy that works there that covered his face when they walked in.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  He saw the pastel coloured Zara cap and covered his own face going, look mate, I'm a videographer. I don't need this shit. I'm just trying to get a day rate. I don't need it. Everyone to know, I'm in deep with these lot. Right. And they go, how old is Bruce Forsyth when he died? And the older bloke's gone, 84. And they go, higher, higher. Everyone in the room is in complete disbelief this is happening. Keys and Gray burst into the biggest laugh I've ever seen and walk out. Like high five being, Bruce Forsyth has been dead nearly 10 years.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:21Speaker 05

  Higher or lower, the price is right, hasn't been on telly for 25 in its full glory.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  I don't think.

• 54:30Speaker 05

  What is, what the fuck?

• 54:32Speaker 04

  Can we? And I think we're not people in glass houses, it. Take a minute to say they've got too many staff on their podcast.

• 54:43Speaker 05

  The office is huge.

• 54:44Speaker 04

  I know we've gone too far the other way.

• 54:47Speaker 05

  Josh, we have, I'm sat in Centre Parks with a duvet over me with Mike here.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 54:53Speaker 05

  But I loved it. But, um, I think, I think they'll calm down, but like, they're quite engaging people to watch, but like.

• 54:59Speaker 04

  What I love is.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Gray actually seems quite chilled. The Keys is the angry one.

• 55:03Speaker 04

  Keys.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  Gray, Gray just looks like he's quite happy to sort of just be at home chilling.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  Keys. Gray's like, I've been cleaning up in Qatar for a decade there, mate.

• 55:15Speaker 05

  They're the only people to get cancelled and earn more money.

• 55:17Speaker 04

  It's wild. Good on them. I will be listening.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  I can't wait. I'm a big fan of the pod.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, big fan of it. If they want to, um.

• 55:25Speaker 05

  I'd love it if they started slagging us off. I'd fucking love it. I'd love, I'm desperate for a podcast beef.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  To start a podcast beef with Keys and Gray. Well, Keys.

• 55:34Speaker 05

  I tried to Rory Stewart on the other, on Parenting Hell, but he won't buy it. He don't know who I am.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 55:40Speaker 05

  Oh, right. Um, how's your Premier, Fantasy League getting on? Fantasy Premier League too? Don't mean either.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  I think it's a Monday game. Or is that the end of the week?

• 55:49Speaker 05

  Josh, come on. Let's at least, yeah, Fulham, Chelsea. Come on, at least.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  Who cares? South West London Derby isn't a thing.

• 55:57Speaker 05

  No, but if Fulham beat Chelsea, we'd be all over it. I've got a Bronboy in that. Smith Rowe.

• 56:02Speaker 04

  Smith Rowe, of course.

• 56:04Speaker 05

  I mean, I've got 28 points.

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Oh, that's not good enough, is it? Is it still, Michael, that in my day when I used to play it, you're looking, I've got 28 points as well. You're looking at 50 points for a week, for a good week. Is that right, Michael?

• 56:20Speaker 06

  We will tell you in the app, the average score for that week. So you can sort of see how you've done against. So if you're above it, obviously you're doing well.

• 56:27Speaker 04

  36 so far.

• 56:28Speaker 05

  36.

• 56:29Speaker 04

  Someone's got 114.

• 56:31Speaker 05

  The winner at the moment, top of the league is 123. His name is, his team's one called 123 and his name's Felix Cherry. Phil's fake. Is that a real person? I can't work out. He's got so many points.

• 56:44Speaker 05

  What the fuck? He's got eight. It's not, it's not adding up.

• 56:46Speaker 06

  They've used their bench boosts. Their players on the bench have scored as well.

• 56:49Speaker 04

  What's the bench boost?

• 56:50Speaker 06

  You get bonus chips that you can use throughout the season, one of which is bench boost. So your players on the bench score.

• 56:56Speaker 05

  Oh, we had Sangari on the bench. He's boosted him up.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  Keep it pure. That's what I say.

• 57:02Speaker 05

  Yeah. Pick your team, never change it. That's what I do. So I'm, to Michael, I can't work out. So in the Premier, the Football and Parenting Hell League. It's, I'm 3,343rd, but can you see how many people in that league?

• 57:14Speaker 04

  How many people in the league?

• 57:15Speaker 06

  Uh, let me see if I can look. I don't believe I can. I can only see my position.

• 57:20Speaker 05

  Because I can scroll. It takes too long to scroll down. So big up to Felix Cherry.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Oh, is he in our league?

• 57:26Speaker 05

  Oh, this is, this is, we can't, we can't speak. This can't be, this can't be the podcast, can it?

• 57:32Speaker 04

  No, it's, it's tailed off. It's going to fall Keys and Gray.

• 57:36Speaker 05

  Right, okay.

• 57:37Speaker 04

  Thank you for emails. Keep them coming in.

• 57:39Speaker 05

  We'll do more emails next time.

• 57:40Speaker 04

  Thank you to everyone, by the way, who replied and said, I don't like football, but I can't wait to listen to this. Tell people that do like football. Um, and, um, follow it on Instagram. Follow it on Instagram because we're going to be putting up clips. And we'll put up the Man United managers looking sad.

• 57:58Speaker 05

  Um, thanks guys. Um, and also, yeah, this one's been a bit chaotic, but we, because we did the podcast.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  They all will be.

• 58:04Speaker 05

  No, but this, this is unacceptable. I'm, I'm, I'm half, I've got half a pint at the Sports Plaza at Centre Parks here. There's a Munt, Munt Jack deer at the window. Like this was, because we did, decided to do this last minute. I couldn't change the sit.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  I think it's been a great one. And I look forward to next week. Next week we'll be discussing, oh, what have we got next week, Rob?

• 58:23Speaker 05

  Plymouth and Bradford.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Palace v Man City. Liverpool Forest. That's quite a good fixture because it feels old and.

• 58:33Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:33Speaker 05

  What else is coming up?

• 58:34Speaker 04

  Chelsea, Brian.

• 58:35Speaker 05

  That, don't worry about it. We're still got, who cares?

• 58:38Speaker 04

  Do you know what, Rob? There's no good fixtures next week. Where are Arsenal?

• 58:42Speaker 05

  Well, no, don't say that.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  You're playing in that stupid thing where you have to play the.

• 58:46Speaker 05

  It's not, it's not international break yet, is it?

• 58:48Speaker 04

  No, you didn't win a European trophy. So who, what, what's?

• 58:51Speaker 05

  That's already happened.

• 58:51Speaker 06

  They're playing on Monday. It's Arsenal Villa on Monday night.

• 58:54Speaker 05

  Fucking hell, Josh.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  We didn't even talk about Villa losing 4-0.

• 58:58Speaker 05

  Oh, that was bad, wasn't it? Piece of shit. They've got no players. They've got no money because of some sort of financial thing that Michael knows about that we don't. But he's not allowed to speak, so we won't find out about it. See you next week.

• 59:07Speaker 04

  Bye.