⚽ Tony Mowbray’s Favourite Chocolate ⚽

Welcome to Footballing Hell... Rob and Josh discuss the weekend football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... This week the question everyone has been asking - what is Tony Mowbray's favourite chocolate bar? The Manchester derby. How much Rob loves a massive bast*ard. How is Donnarumma only 27 years old? Should Maresca get a haircut like Gerry Francis? Why nobody will ever like Wrexham. And is Florian Wirtz good at football yet? Enjoy! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [email protected] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 2:11Speaker 03

  Hello and welcome to Footballing Hell with.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  Honey, can you say Rob Beckett?

• 2:19Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Can you say Josh Widdicombe?

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Josh Widdicombe.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 2:27Speaker 05

  Hello. Hello. What's happening here? Is this a new feature, Michael?

• 2:31Speaker 03

  So we have had the wife of a former Premier League footballer send in a voicemail. She's got her husband to do it because she's such a big fan of the show. Now it's incredibly difficult to guess that off the back of.

• 2:46Speaker 05

  We've made it even harder, I think. Because at least before it was like, who could Rob get access to?

• 2:51Speaker 03

  No, but now you're going, it's former Premier League footballer. His wife's northern.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, that narrows it down.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  I'm thinking you played for one of the big North West teams.

• 3:01Speaker 05

  Are you going in this dry with no, no Vaseline of clues?

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Well, is that right, Michael? So we're going to play a game of who am I? So you do get one lubeless, Vaseline-free guess. So you can just swing for the fences and it won't count. Can we hear it again? Can we hear it again? Yeah, you can hear it one more time.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Honey, can you say Rob Beckett?

• 3:25Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Can you say Josh Widdicombe?

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Josh Widdicombe.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  Well done.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  He sounds Australian first time out, but he didn't on the.

• 3:35Speaker 05

  Say, it's really northern, isn't it?

• 3:37Speaker 03

  It's, yeah, so I think.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  It sounds Australian, didn't he?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think she's from Manchester and he's from Australia.

• 3:45Speaker 05

  I think it's Harry Kewell.

• 3:46Speaker 03

  Oh, she's from Emmerdale.

• 3:49Speaker 05

  The only Aussie that I know that married a sort of northern English person is Harry Kewell, off the top of my head, but we'll go for some clues.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Then I think Harry Kewell is coaching somewhere insane at the moment.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, but hey, this podcast is global.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  This podcast is global, but I don't think they'd be together during the season.

• 4:09Speaker 05

  Okay, right.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Okay, so you, you can both have one guess, blind guess. So Rob's gone Harry Kewell, which is a great guess because it all fits.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  No lube, no lube guess, Kewell.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  I, what's your no lube?

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just trying to think on Australian. I'm, oh, I'm going to go with Mark Schwarzer.

• 4:30Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  I mean, he played for Middlesbrough, didn't he?

• 4:32Speaker 05

  Well, we don't even know if he's Australian, really. We're really just hoping.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Mark Schwarzer, he is.

• 4:37Speaker 05

  The person is.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Oh, right. All right, sorry.

• 4:40Speaker 05

  I'm not.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  They're not that bad.

• 4:41Speaker 05

  I'm not Trump having a go at Barack Obama, trying to get a birth certificate.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Are you not a Mark Schwarzer truther?

• 4:49Speaker 05

  I just have always had suspicions about Schwarzer's nationality and now I've got a platform to bring him down.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Because he thought, I'm not, if I say I'm English, I'm not getting in the England team.

• 4:59Speaker 05

  But yeah.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Clean up on Australian caps.

• 5:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, he was all over the Socceroos.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  Okay, go on, Michael. Okay, so I can say that you are both incorrect. Are we right about the Australian thing? Well, I can't give you any extra clues.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  Mark Schwarzer's wife's called Paloma, Paloma Schwarzer.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  What a name that is. Outrageous.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Not a fan of the show. If she is, there's only one thing to do, get a voice note, Paloma. So then now it's a classic game of who am I?

• 5:27Speaker 05

  This could take the hour.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  You're gonna, I would quite like it if it did. You're gonna get. The thing about Michael, Rob, is, is me and you jump out of a quiz the moment it's, it's struggling. Michael is like, no, no clues, one clue each. Hang on.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  Oh, he loves it. Go on, Michael.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  So you get the first clue. Either one of you can buzz in by saying your name, but if at any point you buzzed in, you're wrong, you are then no longer allowed to guess. The other person will get the clues. Okay. Clue number one. I was born in Melbourne, Australia on the 31st of December, 19. Mark Schwarzer then, he was born in Bromley. 1965. Fuck it now, he's an oldie.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Tim Cahill, Rob, Tim Cahill.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Incorrect. Tim Cahill wasn't born in 1965?

• 6:15Speaker 05

  A panic.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  So Rob's out, Rob is out now. Guy who went to the Predator, isn't it? Do you want another clue or would you like to take a guess? Yeah, no, well, there's no point because Rob's out, so let's keep clueing.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  Oh God, I can't go the next one. Well, I can't go second, can't I?

• 6:28Speaker 03

  I guess you can go second on this one. Let's keep it interesting. We're changing the format mid-game. Right, clue number two. I think that ship's sailed, Michael.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  I started my career.

• 6:39Speaker 05

  60s.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  I started my career at Aston Villa in 1984, playing 111 league games and scoring two goals in my three seasons at the club.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  So Rob can't guess unless Josh.

• 6:53Speaker 05

  Off you go, Josh, because I know it actually.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Is it Gordon Cowans?

• 6:57Speaker 05

  So have you made up words?

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Is that, is that a guess? Are you speculating out loud? No, why not? It's not Gordon Cowans. I'm, I'm not sure Gordon Cowans is Australian. I might be wrong. No, I'm just panicking. Rob doesn't know he is. Okay, Rob, any guess? It started in 1984, Aston Villa.

• 7:14Speaker 05

  Well, there's two I can think of. Craig Johnston, the guy who done the Predator. Or there's that Kevin Muscat, but I think Kevin Muscat is old enough. I think he's like in his 50s, maybe 60s. Craig Johnston.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Incorrect. Oh, we're in trouble, we're fucked.

• 7:28Speaker 05

  I think the next clue might be his first name or he still might struggle.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  In 1987, I signed for Chelsea for a fee of 475,000 and I won Player of the Year in my first season at the club. I then went on to sign for Leeds United.

• 7:47Speaker 05

  What? This is hard, Matt.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Who is this?

• 7:53Speaker 05

  Oh, Liam Ridgwell text me. By the way, off topic, he went, oh, how did it go, mate? Did he, did, did, did, did they guess me?

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Oh, no. Oh, no.

• 8:03Speaker 05

  I went, took a couple of clues, but yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 05

  What can I say? No. Hang on, I think, I think I can see the guy.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Chelsea Leeds.

• 8:16Speaker 05

  What's a guy like, a bit like a Greek heritage, Australian, but like.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know. I don't believe so, but I could. I don't know, Michael.

• 8:24Speaker 05

  I don't know. We're gonna have another clue or you just tell us who it is.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Okay, final clue, then I'll tell you. Okay. I'm not Australian. Despite being born and raised in Australia, I represented England, receiving 15. Oh, oh, I know it. I know it. It's Tony DiRigo's wife. Correct.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  Oh my god, I genuinely think everything Josh has ever done in comedy has led up to that punchline.

• 8:59Speaker 05

  The name, the wife part, the 90s reference point.

• 9:05Speaker 06

  Oh my.

• 9:06Speaker 05

  Tony, that's the thing, so he played for England, that was a bit of a curveball, the Australian, wasn't it?

• 9:12Speaker 06

  What's his wife called?

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Uh, one second, let me check.

• 9:15Speaker 05

  Did she put it on the email? She can't sign off as Tony Durigo's wife, surely?

• 9:19Speaker 06

  Not in 2026.

• 9:21Speaker 05

  Nah, it's a modern world.

• 9:22Speaker 06

  Maybe in 1992.

• 9:23Speaker 05

  Tony Durigo, he's such a great name, isn't it? There he is, 60 years of age, Heather Durigo. It says on Wikipedia, apologies if he's remarried.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  This is from Claire Durigo, so.

• 9:35Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, that's awkward.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Claire Durigo signed off, wife of Tony Durigo, in her email.

• 9:40Speaker 05

  Who the fuck's Heather Durigo?

• 9:41Speaker 06

  She hasn't got it as a footer, actually, like when people have he, he him.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:46Speaker 06

  She doesn't identify as the wife of Tony Durigo, does she?

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Her footer says, sent from my iPhone, please excuse brevity.

• 9:52Speaker 05

  Well, yeah, but she can't have got the name wrong for the iPhone. I think, I think Tony might have remarried, let's just move on.

• 9:57Speaker 06

  Brevity's their daughter, Brevity Durigo. Do you want to hear a bit of trivia about Tony Durigo?

• 10:02Speaker 05

  Josh, when you die at the BAFTAs, I want the clip of you to be led forward in a lech.

• 10:09Speaker 05

  Is it Tony Durigo's wife?

• 10:13Speaker 05

  That's the best thing that's gonna happen to me this week.

• 10:15Speaker 06

  Well, it worked. If you are the wife of a footballer, send them in.

• 10:18Speaker 05

  Thank you very much, that was great fun. What a great new feature.

• 10:21Speaker 06

  You want my Tony Durigo trivia?

• 10:23Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 10:24Speaker 06

  We once had him on Quickly Kevin, our 90s football podcast.

• 10:27Speaker 05

  Oh, that's it, you've cheated, you've actually met the man.

• 10:29Speaker 06

  Oh, right. And that was 10 years ago, and I paid him from my bank account.

• 10:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:37Speaker 06

  And, because he's listed as a Durigo, every time I go to pay anyone, he's the first name that comes up off the bank account.

• 10:47Speaker 05

  He could delete them, you know, unless you're hoping to re.

• 10:49Speaker 06

  I'd have to pay him again. I might chuck him a tenner for that.

• 10:53Speaker 05

  I'd rather, I'd rather it disrupt every transaction for the last 10 years than re-add it.

• 10:57Speaker 06

  I didn't know you could delete them.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  Oh, that's great fun. I've got, I've got a new feature as well, do you want to hear my new feature? Not for the start, just in general.

• 11:04Speaker 06

  Okay, I've got a new feature as well.

• 11:05Speaker 05

  Oh, it's exciting.

• 11:06Speaker 06

  Can I give you the title?

• 11:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  It's called, what's Tony Mowbray's favourite chocolate bar?

• 11:12Speaker 05

  And that's the whole feature?

• 11:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 05

  Will this reoccur weekly?

• 11:16Speaker 06

  No, it's a one-off.

• 11:18Speaker 05

  Right, okay, that's not a feature then, is it?

• 11:20Speaker 06

  No.

• 11:24Speaker 05

  That's just a question for today.

• 11:25Speaker 06

  Well, I just, I watched a video of Tony Mowbray ranking his top five chocolate bars, and it's fucking brilliant.

• 11:31Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 11:32Speaker 06

  I want to play it to you.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Let's play that, then I'll do mine after.

• 11:36Speaker 06

  Well, should we not talk about the Manchester Derby? Is that not what people are here for?

• 11:39Speaker 05

  Nah, we'll do that in a minute.

• 11:41Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  I still don't understand why Haaland's goal was a goal or wasn't, and I can't be bothered to look it up.

• 11:46Speaker 06

  So.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  So Tony Mowbray, is he a football manager?

• 11:49Speaker 06

  He was an Ipswich defender, and then he became a football manager in the lower leagues. He's been linked with Plymouth's job a few times. He plays quite nice, progressive football. I think he probably got someone into the Premier League at one point, didn't he, Michael?

• 12:03Speaker 03

  I feel like, wasn't he West Brom at one point?

• 12:05Speaker 06

  Yeah, he was like a good, he's a good championship manager. You'd be pleased to have him in the championship, maybe his time's been and gone.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Okay, right, I've got him up here. He's, he's really intense looking, he's really focusing on the guy.

• 12:20Speaker 07

  Snickers, right, um, four.

• 12:23Speaker 05

  Four.

• 12:26Speaker 07

  No.

• 12:30Speaker 07

  Two. I can eat a full box of Maltesers any day. Yeah, addictive, yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 07

  Three.

• 12:43Speaker 07

  I, listen, you know what, I've grown sort of Revels, I've got so many packets of Revels in my garage at home, I've got boxes and boxes and boxes of family Revels, I've maybe got 400 bags of family Revels at home through people sending them to me.

• 12:59Speaker 05

  So the first three, he just goes, two, three, four Revels? He's opened up, and also, he's only got two more left to rate, and there's three quarters of the clip left.

• 13:11Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:12Speaker 05

  So he's going, he's mid Revels deep dive, here we go.

• 13:14Speaker 06

  Coincidentally, they've asked Tony Mowbray his top five chocolates, or whether Tony, because someone answered, is Tony Mowbray famous for his love of chocolate, hence they've done this? Or have they, or have they struck gold?

• 13:27Speaker 05

  Well, EFL have collaborated with this, with ITV Football, I think they've gone, have you ever spoken to Tony about Revels? He's obsessed with Revels? Why don't we do a clip of him where we do his top five, and we sneak in Revels and just let him go? That's exactly what's happened.

• 13:41Speaker 06

  Listen to this.

• 13:42Speaker 07

  Oh, listen, I, I was gonna say Malteser, I always liked him, but orange has always been my favourite, to be honest. It's, um, so, yeah, I like, I just like the, you don't really know what you got coming.

• 13:57Speaker 07

  I've had so many Revels, I, yeah, I would, I would eat some of different Revels, if that makes sense, because when you get, you.

• 14:11Speaker 05

  Hang on, they're giving him the last chocolate, that doesn't happen in this blind ranking, that's a point of blind ranking. He, at this point, a man that's obsessed with Revels is about to put Revels fifth.

• 14:22Speaker 05

  And they're chucking Dairy Milk in.

• 14:23Speaker 06

  Because he's had too many Revels, and he's got a garage full of 400 family packs of Revels.

• 14:28Speaker 05

  Well, the problem is, if you're bored of Revels, you're bored of chocolate, because it's all the chocolate.

• 14:32Speaker 06

  Exactly, Dairy Milk, I mean Dairy Milk's an absolute hammer blow at the end.

• 14:37Speaker 05

  If you're obsessed with Revels, sorry Dairy Milk's not scratching the itch.

• 14:40Speaker 06

  No, exactly.

• 14:41Speaker 05

  If you're rolling the dice on your tongue with coffee and orange, and then you.

• 14:43Speaker 06

  Also, if your orange is your favourite, then you like a bit of sugary centre.

• 14:47Speaker 05

  You've done too much chocolate if you've got down to orange, because you've exhausted all other opportunities.

• 14:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, unfortunately, but I do like Dairy Milk, because I just like snapping each one off and, um, yeah, I like boosts at the moment, and I like even picnics, I like,

• 15:06Speaker 07

  I like Kit Kats at the moment, I try to roll on to some different, um, yeah. Bring back a chocolate bar that's sort of discontinued from now on. But it's just come back, I think, so I'm a massive Starbar fan, they disappeared a long, long time, but they're hugely back on the market now, aren't they? And, um, I'm a big Starbar fan, to the point where I know they're not off the market, but they're now back big time, but I love a Starbar, yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 07

  I could do, yeah, yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 05

  He definitely, because also, look, Tony Mowbray, right, I love, I like Tony Mowbray, but I've, I've not seen him much, it's not like the Roy Keaneian right that are ever.

• 15:50Speaker 06

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 15:50Speaker 05

  And these sort of social media videos, it's normally like something that's really big and popular, that then they do to everyone, from Roy Keaneian right down to Tony Mowbray, from a, you know.

• 16:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 05

  Point of view. This one's been invented for Tony Mowbray. I've never seen a piece of social media so tailed to a man that's obsessed with chocolate.

• 16:14Speaker 05

  Because no, I've not seen a chocolate blind ranking anywhere.

• 16:16Speaker 06

  No.

• 16:18Speaker 05

  I'll ask a football manager that, do, what you want is Messi Ronaldo, that's, yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 06

  You're not like, right, we're down at wherever he's at, Ips, well, he's EFL, so he's not even at Ipswich.

• 16:27Speaker 05

  Blackburn, I think it was Blackburn.

• 16:29Speaker 06

  Michael, is he an active part, or is he just a pundit? He's not, that's not his.

• 16:32Speaker 05

  Active, what, like a gang member?

• 16:35Speaker 06

  I mean, he's, he's like a football manager currently.

• 16:38Speaker 05

  I think he's a commentator, I think he does.

• 16:39Speaker 06

  Right, and they've not gone, look, whoever you get, just do the five chocolate bars, and then they've lucked out with Tony Mowbray.

• 16:47Speaker 05

  No, they have gone, Mowbray's here, let's do that chocolate one we've been laughing about in the office, because he will unload on you.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Blackburn Rovers is currently manager of.

• 16:56Speaker 05

  He's the manager!

• 16:57Speaker 06

  He's the manager!

• 16:58Speaker 05

  No! It's like that pre-game, they've got him going through chocolate bars, that's insane, that is so unfair.

• 17:05Speaker 06

  He can't be the manager, I told you, he was a championship level manager.

• 17:08Speaker 05

  He looks like he's outside the stadium, like he's going in. I thought he was going to watch a local match, he's managed, he's got to play a game, he's got to manage the team after that.

• 17:17Speaker 06

  But it's not like they're holding him back, he's powering on, talking about chocolate bars, he's wasting their time of benefit.

• 17:23Speaker 05

  And I don't want to criticise the journalism of the EFL, um, social media admin, why did he not have a follow-up question of, why have you got 400 bags of Revels? Who's sending them?

• 17:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, who are these people that are sending you the Revels?

• 17:38Speaker 05

  He loves Maltesers so much, they're addictive, he eats a whole box in one go, so he almost has Revels to limit the Maltesers and slow him down, it's like a junkie, you know, when the doctors give him.

• 17:50Speaker 06

  Also, he's, he's skinny, do you know what I mean? There's not an ounce of fat on Tony Mowbray.

• 17:57Speaker 05

  Lean as you like.

• 17:58Speaker 06

  He's an absolute wicket.

• 17:59Speaker 05

  But there are people that can just get away eating all that chocolate, and they're just thin forever, it's just their metabolism.

• 18:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  I'd love to see his teeth.

• 18:07Speaker 06

  Well, I'm sure you can if you re-watch the clip.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  I'm not zooming in on Mowbray's mouth, not this early on a Monday, maybe two o'clock.

• 18:13Speaker 06

  Covered in chocolate, cakes in chocolate.

• 18:15Speaker 05

  Maybe about your quarter past three when I'm at the school gates.

• 18:18Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 18:18Speaker 05

  I'll have a quick snoop on Mowbray's molars.

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  Right, do you want to know what my feature is? And then we'll do the Manchester Derby in the football. Right.

• 20:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:36Speaker 05

  It's called, you ready for this?

• 20:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 05

  Massive bastards.

• 20:42Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 20:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 06

  Good.

• 20:43Speaker 05

  So this is, I love a massive bastard and I didn't realise I loved a massive bastard until this weekend. I was watching the Everton game and they've got a few massive bastards. Braithwaite, Luke O'Brien came on, right? But their defenders and like-

• 20:55Speaker 06

  What's happened to Braithwaite? There was a point when he was going to be like the England guy.

• 20:59Speaker 05

  He's great. I think he's just 24 and learning still, but he's a good, really good player. But he's big. But then I saw, they were scratching an itch of massive bastards, but they were like, not the real deal. And then I saw a guy called Crooks that plays for Hull, right? Matt Crooks, I think he's called.

• 21:18Speaker 06

  Loving Hull.

• 21:19Speaker 05

  Google Matt Crooks. He is six foot four. He's got a massive back. He's 32 and he used to play for Rob. And, and his job.

• 21:32Speaker 05

  He's not Haaland, who's-

• 21:33Speaker 06

  He's centre back presumably, he's a midfielder.

• 21:35Speaker 05

  Exactly, but he's a just, and do you know what his job is, Josh? Being a massive bastard. He's not an attacker, he's not a defender, he hasn't got a worry about anything apart from being fucking massive.

• 21:46Speaker 06

  Here are his EA ratings, Rob.

• 21:48Speaker 05

  Oh, Michael's just messaged Methadone when I was trying to talk about Tony Mowbray's revels to Maltesers switch. Thank you, Mike.

• 21:55Speaker 06

  These are his EA Sports FC ratings.

• 21:58Speaker 05

  Crooks.

• 21:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, because it came up when I Google image searched him.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  And he did a great massive bastard tackle on Rogers, then he decapitated him.

• 22:05Speaker 06

  Pace 54.

• 22:06Speaker 05

  Perfect.

• 22:07Speaker 06

  Shooting 69, passing 68, dribbling 69, defensive 67, physical 85.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  There we go. Massive bastard stats.

• 22:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  So send in your massive bastards, the lower leagues, whatever, non-league, just send in your massive bastards. We'll have a look. I, I love him, I just a proper old school.

• 22:29Speaker 06

  Why don't we create a full team?

• 22:31Speaker 05

  Of massive bastards.

• 22:32Speaker 06

  We'll add one a week to our massive bastards team. So Matt Crooks is inked in, in central midfield.

• 22:38Speaker 05

  But I loved him because it also like-

• 22:39Speaker 06

  Our wingers and our fullbacks are going to be the difficult slots to fill.

• 22:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, we may have to just move-

• 22:45Speaker 06

  That's, that's the exciting thing. That's the exciting thing.

• 22:47Speaker 05

  He's just massive and he's, knows what he is. He comes in, marshals the midfield, boots a couple of people, massive headers, massive bastard. So send in your massive bastards from, throughout the leagues, please.

• 22:58Speaker 06

  Can I talk about a massive bastard to, to link on to the Manchester Derby?

• 23:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:04Speaker 06

  Donnarumma.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:06Speaker 06

  27.

• 23:08Speaker 05

  I genuinely thought he was around at the time of Buffon.

• 23:12Speaker 06

  Yeah. I thought he was about 40. I was like, oh, he's got a couple more years at Man City.

• 23:18Speaker 05

  He could do 12.

• 23:19Speaker 06

  Look at him.

• 23:21Speaker 05

  The hair's not helping.

• 23:23Speaker 06

  The hair's not helping.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  Again, he had a summer off, Italy were out the World Cup.

• 23:28Speaker 06

  Exactly.

• 23:29Speaker 05

  Do a runner to Turkey, do a Rama.

• 23:31Speaker 06

  I just don't, I just don't know if his wife, Donnarumma, wants to send us a voice back.

• 23:38Speaker 05

  He literally, he could fall in love with a woman called Donna and they couldn't get married.

• 23:41Speaker 06

  Do you think?

• 23:42Speaker 05

  Donna Donnarumma.

• 23:43Speaker 06

  I don't know whether they could get, I mean, it's, yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 05

  I might take my own name.

• 23:48Speaker 05

  Or go double barrelled.

• 23:49Speaker 06

  Donna, Donna, Donna, Batman.

• 23:51Speaker 05

  No, Donna Khabab hyphen Donnarumma.

• 23:54Speaker 06

  Anyway, did you watch the Manchester Derby?

• 23:56Speaker 05

  Yes, I did. I watched it.

• 23:57Speaker 06

  It was the first game of the season I watched, Rob.

• 23:59Speaker 05

  That is absolutely insane. How many, do you know how many I watched this week?

• 24:03Speaker 06

  How many?

• 24:04Speaker 05

  I watched one, two, three, five games this week.

• 24:06Speaker 06

  When?

• 24:08Speaker 05

  Um, I watched a chat, well, I tried to watch Napoli Arsenal. I was annoyed at the start because Arsenal wore red shorts, which just annoys me.

• 24:14Speaker 06

  I want to know where you are for these games.

• 24:16Speaker 05

  I'm at home in the evening.

• 24:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  Kids are in bed, I'm on the sofa, I fell asleep for the whole game. So I don't know if that counts.

• 24:22Speaker 06

  Fine, okay.

• 24:23Speaker 05

  I was just so, I went to the NTAs the night before, which we'll discuss apparently now, that exhausted me. Then I watched, um, two games Saturday, 5.30 Tottenham Everton and then straight into Arsenal at 8 o'clock.

• 24:34Speaker 06

  What's happening in your house at this point?

• 24:37Speaker 05

  So Lou is very busy with work, so she's just working a lot.

• 24:40Speaker 06

  And what about the kids? That's more my question.

• 24:42Speaker 05

  5.30, they were-

• 24:43Speaker 06

  5.30?

• 24:44Speaker 05

  5.30, they were watching Dance Mums in another room, but I'd been out with them all day.

• 24:48Speaker 06

  So then you, you've got separate rooms, so you put them in, they go, that makes sense, that makes sense.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, so we're in a different room, they're in another room watching another TV. We've been out all day, we've been playing in the garden, blah, blah, blah. I'm watching-

• 24:59Speaker 06

  No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not having a go at your parenting.

• 25:01Speaker 05

  And I'm just saying, I'm just defending myself actually.

• 25:03Speaker 06

  No, no, I'm not having a go at your parenting.

• 25:04Speaker 05

  And then Sunday, Coventry Brighton, I watched passively as I'd done cooking and it was on in the background.

• 25:09Speaker 06

  We need to talk about Coventry Brighton.

• 25:12Speaker 05

  Well, let's do, let's do Manchester Derby.

• 25:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 05

  And let's go through, go, let's go backwards through the weekend, right, of those ones.

• 25:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, I've got nothing really to say about Saturday, but yeah.

• 25:20Speaker 05

  Okay, well, Manchester Derby, did you think Foden should have got sent off?

• 25:24Speaker 06

  Couldn't care less.

• 25:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, me neither. Um, just don't kick someone. Oh, he kicked me.

• 25:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, of course he should get sent off.

• 25:30Speaker 05

  He kicked someone.

• 25:31Speaker 06

  He kicked someone in the nads. You can't do that, so that's fine, that's a sending off.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  Was it Haaland's a goal, was it a goal?

• 25:37Speaker 06

  On my walk here, I thought, do you know what? I'm going to listen to a football podcast to see what the, the enemy are up to. Yeah?

• 25:46Speaker 05

  So what they're, okay, so you've done a bit of research.

• 25:49Speaker 06

  And the host, who's a very good host, obviously I'm not going to name it, right? He said, oh, you know, absolutely wild decision, shouldn't have been a goal. What did you think, guest A? Yeah, awful, terrible, shouldn't have been a goal. I mean, how are they giving those? I mean, a VAR, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, terrible. Guest B, it shouldn't have been a goal, should it? No, it shouldn't have been a, and you're like, just, it was about, it went on for about six or seven minutes of just people saying it shouldn't be a goal. We know. Who cares?

• 26:24Speaker 05

  But the refs-

• 26:25Speaker 06

  Move on.

• 26:26Speaker 05

  The ref said it shouldn't have been a goal as well, didn't they?

• 26:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, and they said, oh, they'll have to apologise for that. All right.

• 26:33Speaker 06

  So what? People make mistakes. Fine.

• 26:36Speaker 05

  Are you, what are you suggesting that current football podcasts are boring?

• 26:40Speaker 06

  No, I'm suggesting that we're caught in a feedback loop of people all agreeing with each other about VAR in an angry manner, but we're all agreeing and we're all angry and who cares?

• 26:51Speaker 05

  So should we say it was a goal?

• 26:54Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 06

  Do you know why it was a goal, Rob?

• 26:57Speaker 05

  Why's that?

• 26:58Speaker 06

  Because it was given as a goal.

• 26:59Speaker 05

  Oh, okay. This is the angle, is it?

• 27:01Speaker 06

  Look, we've got a Man U fan here, he gave us a prediction of the match.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  Oh yes, Michael, Michael's prediction of the match.

• 27:08Speaker 06

  Okay, let's see how close this is to what happened. This is how Man U fan thought would play out.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  And this is a guy that everyone says, why don't they let Michael speak more? He really knows his football.

• 27:18Speaker 06

  Bear in mind, it was a, a-

• 27:19Speaker 05

  It's your room getting broken into by SAS squad, squad team here. You've got like these like bright lights in your-

• 27:24Speaker 06

  The sun's come out in Exeter.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Looks like you're getting interrogated.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  So it's the Manchester Derby today. Uh, I think it's going to be a really open attacking game. I think both teams are going to be really keen to set a marker early in the season. My head says score draw, possibly 2-2, but Carrick has an excellent record against City. It is Old Trafford, so there's a slight advantage there. So I'm going to go with my heart and say 3-2 United with Man U controlling midfield. And if Martinez can be all over Haaland and make himself a nuisance, I think we could just nick this, but I think it will be a very good game.

• 28:00Speaker 05

  I'm going to defend Michael here, Josh. I, I, that was quite a good prediction if the sending off didn't happen.

• 28:06Speaker 06

  The sending off is brilliant, isn't it? Because it's, what's so funny? What's so funny is if Man City had beaten Man U, you'd go, oh, well, fair enough, Man City are really good. Fine, give Carrick a break, but to manage to lose to 10 men at home and offer nothing, to create a crisis out of a situation that probably can't create a crisis is really funny. It's really funny.

• 28:33Speaker 05

  I mean, what did you think, Michael? It's your team, it's only fair you get to comment.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  I mean, without drifting into tactics and then analysis, which we don't want to do, I think Rob's right.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  Don't you dare.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  The sending off definitely changed the game.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  Give it a tickle and see if I'll switch, I'll quickly, I'll switch off, all right. Give us the overview of what you think happened and then a quick, the tactics. Did you think Carrick managed that wrong?

• 28:53Speaker 03

  I think he set up the team correctly. I think he set them up expecting to have less possession against Manchester City as you would. So we're designed to hit them on a counter attack, which is how he sets us up to play and we're effective at that. But I think what happened is the moment a player gets sent off that early in the game, you know, you're not going to be a counter attacking team from that point onwards. And I don't think he changed early enough or at all really, and basically allowed City back into the game. Like, you can't lose that game to 10 men at home that early in a match when someone's been sent off. Like, it's kind of madness. The, the worst case scenario is you should get a draw against that game and not to keep banging the Carrick out bandwagon, because I'm not Carrick out, I'm, Carrick should

• 29:37Speaker 03

  not have got the job. That, that's where I stand. And that was, that was a problem.

• 29:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's bollocks, you can't go back in time.

• 29:44Speaker 06

  You can't.

• 29:45Speaker 05

  You fucking chop her out, whack it on the table and give us an opinion. Are you in or out?

• 29:48Speaker 06

  All right, talk sport.

• 29:49Speaker 05

  You can't go, oh, I don't think he should have got, he's got the job. Forget that. Let's talk about now, Martin.

• 29:54Speaker 06

  Let's put it this way, let's put it this way. How would you feel if I went, oh my God, they've sacked Michael Carrick?

• 29:59Speaker 03

  I would say on balance, I'd be happy.

• 30:02Speaker 05

  On balance.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  There would be that period, like when you're single, where you go, oh my God, am I going to die alone? And then I would be excited about the Tinder of managers and just swiping through whether it's going to be Tuchel or Enrique, but inevitably it'd end up being Jonny Evans or someone like that.

• 30:18Speaker 05

  Tottenham, like, we'll talk about Tottenham in a minute, are getting absolutely hammered for being shit, right? But you've only got two more points than them.

• 30:25Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 30:26Speaker 05

  You're in 13th, really.

• 30:27Speaker 06

  You're already eight points off the top after four games.

• 30:31Speaker 05

  They did well against that team that I think UEFA invented to play them on Thursday in the Champions League. We're a bit short on teams. Fucking quick, stick another team through AI and send them to Old Trafford. Fucking Quara Bag times two.

• 30:48Speaker 06

  It's so funny. It's so funny. He'll be gone in February and then they'll bring in some really unlikely and weird for the end of the season who'll do well and then it'll just repeat.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  Before we go to the other games, I've got a couple of things. I've got a Gareth Bale balding confirmation.

• 31:05Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. Okay.

• 31:06Speaker 05

  I can confirm, it's from my friend, who, his child goes to the same sports club as Gareth Bale's.

• 31:15Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 31:15Speaker 05

  And he's sat behind him for two years and never spoken. I can confirm Gareth Bale has zero signs of balding, nor has he since I've sat next to him. I've sat next to my hero, in brackets, for the last three years at a sports club and he's not said a single word to me. But zero balding.

• 31:34Speaker 06

  You've got to make the first step there, I think.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  Bale's never going to come to you.

• 31:39Speaker 06

  No.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  But you've got to go to Bale.

• 31:40Speaker 06

  No, well, I would speak to him. I'd speak to him a few times as if he wasn't Gareth Bale. I wouldn't go in with, I thought you were amazing for Wales in Euro 2016.

• 31:51Speaker 05

  You've got to go, if you, as another parent being a dick, you've got to be like, he's hard work, isn't he? Quick eye roll.

• 31:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Do you want a cup of tea? I'm getting one. No, you don't again. All right, bye.

• 31:59Speaker 06

  See that in the WhatsApp group. All right, yeah, fine. Rob, I've got some more things from the Manchester Derby I didn't tell you.

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 32:07Speaker 06

  This is how unacross games I am.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 32:11Speaker 06

  The first time I clocked that Elliot Anderson was playing properly was when he got my hand of the match.

• 32:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, you didn't notice that he was on the pitch?

• 32:20Speaker 06

  Well, I didn't really clock because I was watching it while crafting with my daughter.

• 32:24Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 32:25Speaker 06

  So in terms of our tactical knowledge.

• 32:27Speaker 05

  So the first game you've watched this season, you weren't watching, it was only in the background as you did crafts.

• 32:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:33Speaker 05

  Do you know what? You're a modern dad and I find it disgusting.

• 32:36Speaker 06

  Disgusting.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  Why don't you craft a fucking backbone out of that card and paper? Yeah? Why don't you craft out a bit of time for you? Yeah?

• 32:46Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  Sat there with pipe cleaners tied around your balls.

• 32:52Speaker 06

  Well, that would cause more problems than it solved if that was the crafting we were doing. There'd be bigger questions than whether I should watch the Manchester Derby.

• 32:59Speaker 05

  What other observations have you got for Manchester Derby?

• 33:01Speaker 06

  Well, I watched the goal. It didn't go in. Yeah. It was disallowed. So I've got a UTI, I think. So I had to go to the toilet.

• 33:08Speaker 05

  Oh, right.

• 33:09Speaker 06

  We'll cover that on parenting now.

• 33:11Speaker 05

  Right, okay. Yeah, if you want to hear about Josh's UTI, that'll be on the parenting one. That veers away from football, but it did impact this story. So you missed the goal.

• 33:17Speaker 06

  No, I saw the goal. It wasn't given. Then went for a piss, then came back.

• 33:21Speaker 05

  Painful piss? Or we'll do that on parenting, sorry, we'll do that.

• 33:24Speaker 06

  We'll do that on parenting. Didn't realise they were 1-0 up for five minutes till my daughter pointed out that there'd been a goal.

• 33:30Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 33:31Speaker 06

  Because I just, I'd sat back in and I was like, all right, so it's still 0-0.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 06

  Because I saw I missed the whole draw with that. And here's a thought I've got, Rob.

• 33:39Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 33:40Speaker 06

  I think Enzo Maresca has been listening, right?

• 33:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 06

  If his wife's listening, we will take a voice note.

• 33:47Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 33:48Speaker 06

  I think he's brought his beard in to look less like Pep.

• 33:51Speaker 05

  Well, because Lou pointed this out. She was like, isn't that the guy that left? I was like, no.

• 33:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 05

  What's he done to his beard?

• 33:58Speaker 06

  I think he's, I think he's taken his beard down. I think he's shortened the beard so he looks less like Pep Guardiola.

• 34:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think he just needs to go clean shaven or.

• 34:07Speaker 06

  It's closer to clean shaven now. And I think he's, someone said to him, this is weird.

• 34:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's just got your own identity. And he wore a different type of outfit, didn't he? He had like a sort of suit jacket thing on.

• 34:18Speaker 06

  Well, I think that's fine because I do think there is this weird thing where managers just wear the same thing every time, like they're Steve Jobs.

• 34:25Speaker 05

  But he used to dress like Pep as well.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 05

  That, the grey polo neck thing.

• 34:30Speaker 06

  Well, it's difficult, isn't it? Because Pep just dressed like a middle-aged European man. So any middle-aged European man looks like Pep Guardiola.

• 34:38Speaker 05

  So, well, that's good. I'm glad he's listening and taking the feedback on. So it's good to have an impact on the game.

• 34:43Speaker 06

  So I think he needs to grow his hair out into like a thin ponytail or something.

• 34:47Speaker 05

  He can't, he's got no hair, is he?

• 34:49Speaker 06

  Well, he could do one of those thin back ponytails or something.

• 34:51Speaker 05

  No, he can't do that. He can't. Who was the old English manager that used to do that weird ponytail thing?

• 34:58Speaker 06

  Who what?

• 34:59Speaker 05

  There was an English manager. He used to have a really weird, long, it used to be Tottenham manager? Can't remember.

• 35:04Speaker 06

  Gerry Francis.

• 35:05Speaker 05

  Gerry Francis.

• 35:06Speaker 06

  Gerry Francis, of course.

• 35:08Speaker 05

  Gerry Francis. Yeah, that's probably what Maresca could get to, the Gerry Francis.

• 35:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think Maresca needs to get Gerry Francis. But imagine then him dealing with all the people saying you look just like Gerry Francis. And he's like.

• 35:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, because he was like receding Gerry.

• 35:24Speaker 06

  Is he still with us, Gerry Francis?

• 35:25Speaker 05

  I think he might have passed away, but he's, he always had that hair as a player, but then just kept it as it went back. Powerful look, Gerry Francis.

• 35:33Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:34Speaker 05

  Incredible. Tony DiRigo, Gerry Francis, Tony Mowbray. Modern football. Do you get many 17s?

• 35:40Speaker 06

  Tony Mowbray's still the manager of Blackburn, as we found out, Rob.

• 35:43Speaker 05

  Well, who knows? It could have.

• 35:44Speaker 06

  I'm going to start following Blackburn because I love Tony Mowbray now. He seems like a lovely man.

• 35:48Speaker 05

  Well, how did they get on at the weekend?

• 35:49Speaker 06

  Well, he was too busy. He didn't get back into the match. He was too busy chatting to a guy about revels.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  I tell you what, we've got to talk about Coventry and also how funny was it Wrexham got smashed by West Ham?

• 35:58Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  Do you know what? Do you know what? Like, if Wrexham got to the Premier League.

• 36:02Speaker 06

  Blackburn won 3-1 against Millwall.

• 36:04Speaker 05

  Of course he did. Powered by Star Bars. Quick Star Bar, lads.

• 36:08Speaker 06

  Do you think he gives a Star Bar to his star player, like the?

• 36:13Speaker 05

  Little Star Bar for you then.

• 36:14Speaker 06

  Who wants a revel? Go on, guys. Don't worry, I've got loads of them. No, I'm not going to tell you which is.

• 36:19Speaker 05

  Snowing today. Got any orange balls out? Should we have an orange ball? Orange ball. One at half time, one on the pitch. What I love about England is, in Ryan Reynolds's head, if Wrexham got to the Premier League, I think, because if this was America, everyone would support them and be like, this is amazing. Every single club would boo them.

• 36:37Speaker 06

  It's not American.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  And everyone would love it when they lost.

• 36:40Speaker 06

  Amazing.

• 36:40Speaker 05

  It was so good when they got smashed 6-0 by West Ham.

• 36:43Speaker 06

  I know. I couldn't believe I like West Ham, but.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  I like West Ham. You don't like West Ham, do you?

• 36:47Speaker 06

  Well, I'm swiftly becoming great pals with Danny Dyer Jr. So I've come round to West Ham.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. You're hanging out with her in the old Strictly game.

• 36:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, and we get on, we get on. We have a real laugh. Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 06

  I said, I saw her the night after Jared Bowen scored the late goal. And she was like, oh, yeah, he got me up. When he got in bed and I was like, I've got to go to bed because got Strictly tomorrow.

• 37:12Speaker 05

  Oh, and he wanted to talk about his goal?

• 37:14Speaker 06

  He was delighted, apparently.

• 37:16Speaker 05

  Well, you would be. Last minute winner.

• 37:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, but you know, he's come back for, I think they were away to Blackburn, weren't they? So I said I'm fucking livid because Tony Mowbray.

• 37:24Speaker 05

  You know me. Me and Mowbray, we go way back.

• 37:27Speaker 06

  Tony Mowbray at that point was in his garage, passed out under six bags of revels, trying to make himself feel something.

• 37:33Speaker 05

  Who let him at the revels again? Mowbray's dad.

• 37:40Speaker 02

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• 38:24Speaker 02

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• 39:06Speaker 06

  Oh, can I just say on Wrexham, I think what grinds people's gears in the lower leagues.

• 39:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 06

  Is this idea of this incredible underdog story. But the thing is, it's not because they've got more money than the rest of the leagues of League One and League Two. So they've just bought their way through League One and League Two and done it as an underdog story. And I think that grinds people's gears.

• 39:30Speaker 05

  Well, if you, it's equivalent of if you had a little coffee shop, right, in Wrexham and then multi-multi-millionaires came in and spent £100 million on acquiring cafes all around the country and all of a sudden you've got 100 cafes, it isn't, what an amazing story of a business.

• 39:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 05

  No, someone just decided to spend £100 million on buying more coffee shops.

• 39:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's not Leicester City. Do you know what I mean? That was, that was, that was insane.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  And we love that and people look back funny on that.

• 39:59Speaker 06

  It's essentially Manchester City.

• 40:01Speaker 05

  To be fair though, every other team that could have won the league was dogshit that year. But let's not bring, you know, let's not mention that as well. Everyone completely failed. But go on, you foxes.

• 40:12Speaker 06

  I love the idea. Are we going to become the first podcast to say the Leicester City story is overrated and actually it's a story of other teams? The bigger teams failing rather than Leicester succeeding.

• 40:25Speaker 05

  The issue I have with this, Josh, is every episode I feel like another, another city's off my tour list.

• 40:33Speaker 06

  Well, it's ideal. You only want a tour from home.

• 40:35Speaker 05

  I still need to have money, Josh. I'll get the, the sales report will come in and they'll be like, it's really weird. You've sold out everywhere apart from Leicester. Can you think of why? What's happened in Leicester? No, I love Leicester.

• 40:45Speaker 06

  Also, you've sold out five nights in Blackburn and they said they're going to have to get in some more suites in the.

• 40:51Speaker 05

  We've sold out of revels at the tuck shop. Everyone's got a bag of revels wearing Tony Mowbray masks at the Blackburn gig. King's Hall. Is it King's Hall?

• 41:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, I think it is. Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 05

  Tottenham and Coventry.

• 41:11Speaker 06

  Right, yeah, these are the funny things. Also, fuck me, Liverpool. Anyway, move on.

• 41:18Speaker 05

  Wirtz.

• 41:19Speaker 06

  Wirtz.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  Is Wirtz not very good at football?

• 41:22Speaker 06

  Can he continue?

• 41:23Speaker 05

  160 million, 50 million or something?

• 41:26Speaker 06

  Just give it up, guys. They play him everywhere, they play him every week and everyone goes, he's gonna come good.

• 41:32Speaker 05

  The shit Pogba got, and Pogba was good for a bit, and he was the most expensive midfielder.

• 41:36Speaker 06

  I'm telling you now, he's not going to come good. Sell him.

• 41:39Speaker 05

  Yocarez gets more stick than Wirtz. Yocarez scored like 15 goals, I think.

• 41:45Speaker 06

  Or Cesc.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  Cesc, but well, like half the price and Yocarez helped Arsenal win the league.

• 41:50Speaker 06

  Yeah. I don't know when this, no, he is good. When? It's been a year and a half.

• 41:55Speaker 05

  Can you show me, please, when he's been good?

• 41:57Speaker 06

  At the World Cup. Maybe that bit was the fluke, when he was good for Leverkusen.

• 42:02Speaker 05

  They drew, didn't they? And Chelsea.

• 42:03Speaker 06

  At home to Fulham.

• 42:04Speaker 05

  Chelsea are fun to watch than Hull. I like Hull, I like Chelsea.

• 42:08Speaker 06

  Love Hull, love Hull.

• 42:09Speaker 05

  Coventry, you wanted to ring Josh Pugh, didn't you? Because they've now lost.

• 42:13Speaker 06

  They've lost 5-0 at home. They've lost every game.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  Have they scored yet?

• 42:16Speaker 06

  I think, I don't know if they've scored. Right, I'm gonna ring Josh Pugh.

• 42:20Speaker 05

  Tottenham haven't scored.

• 42:21Speaker 06

  He went yesterday. I just wanna say, do you regret going up?

• 42:26Speaker 05

  Coventry haven't scored and they conceded 10 goals and lost every game. Let's ring Josh and see what he thinks. Funny comedian, Josh, good guy.

• 42:36Speaker 06

  He's also in the England partially-sighted football team, Josh Pugh.

• 42:39Speaker 05

  I should ring Bill back as well because he said Tottenham were gonna smash Everton.

• 42:42Speaker 06

  Yeah, we will. Okay, well, let's see if he calls me back.

• 42:46Speaker 05

  Give him a chance to ring back.

• 42:48Speaker 06

  Do you feel sorry for Coventry, Rob?

• 42:50Speaker 05

  A little bit, but I think they, I think they will find a bit of form. I don't know, it does look very.

• 42:56Speaker 06

  Embarrassing.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  I think the problem is Hull are doing so well.

• 42:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, and Ipswich are fine.

• 43:01Speaker 05

  Did you see Lewis Dunk's goal?

• 43:03Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:03Speaker 05

  Ipswich are doing really well. They're ninth, six points.

• 43:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  They're better than Man United. Hull are third. You're getting mauled by the Tigers.

• 43:12Speaker 06

  Mauled by the Tigers.

• 43:17Speaker 05

  Brighton fourth, Chelsea fifth.

• 43:18Speaker 06

  Have we got any thoughts on Tottenham? Except it's hilarious.

• 43:21Speaker 05

  I don't understand what's happening.

• 43:22Speaker 06

  This is, this is related. Did you see Plymouth's first goal at the weekend?

• 43:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, unreal. Straight from kick-off?

• 43:29Speaker 06

  Straight from kick-off, 30 seconds.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  Under bastard, top corner.

• 43:31Speaker 06

  That player's on loan. Guess who from?

• 43:34Speaker 05

  Hull?

• 43:36Speaker 06

  Tottenham.

• 43:36Speaker 05

  Tottenham?

• 43:38Speaker 06

  So he's scored after 30 seconds?

• 43:39Speaker 05

  Who is it?

• 43:41Speaker 06

  Is he called Oliver Iroh or something like that?

• 43:43Speaker 05

  Also, Lancashire's doing well, Parrot's doing well. And Richarlison, surely just make Richarlison play?

• 43:48Speaker 06

  It's so funny. Yeah, Oliver Iroh.

• 43:50Speaker 05

  Bill messaged and said, head in hands, I don't get it, why can't we score? We passed the ball nicely, so that's something. I don't think that's true either, they passed it really badly.

• 44:01Speaker 06

  That's neither here nor there.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  Now, this is my take, and I'll see what Bill thinks. I think when you're a team that's finished 17th two years in a row, you will be able to buy people if you throw loads of money at it. And people like Tanali went to Tottenham as opposed to other clubs because he was being paid more money. So the danger with that is you overpay and get them and you may not get people whose heart are in it or are into the project, they're mainly going for money. Now, obviously, as a footballer, you get to be a footballer and it's like a dream job or whatever. We get to do our dream jobs, Josh. Occasionally, there will be times when we do jobs for slightly more money that aren't passion projects, correct?

• 44:39Speaker 06

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 44:47Speaker 05

  I know you love the air conditioning and refrigeration awards.

• 44:50Speaker 06

  When that day comes, I'll let you know.

• 44:51Speaker 05

  And also, I think they, Deserby's just not got them organised, but there's enough players to score. Anyway, let's ring Bill.

• 44:58Speaker 05

  Oh, hello, Bill. I'm just on the podcast with Josh. He said call you back after the Everton game.

• 45:04Speaker 07

  Got half the score right, didn't I?

• 45:11Speaker 05

  50% correct of your prediction. Now, Bill, last time we left you, or you left us, you were very positive about the XG and it's all gonna come good. What's the, what's the feeling down at the Lane as a, as a season ticket holder?

• 45:27Speaker 07

  Well, do you watch the match?

• 45:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, loved it. Was waiting for you to score to turn it off, but you never did.

• 45:34Speaker 07

  Those, I, those first 20, 30 minutes were as exciting as we've played in a long, long time. So those.

• 45:45Speaker 05

  You, you did play quite well for the first 15, 20 minutes, yeah?

• 45:48Speaker 07

  20, it was 20 to 30 minutes.

• 45:50Speaker 05

  Okay, right, you can have the 30 minutes if you really want, but yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, I will add, Bill, you didn't even have a shot on target in those 30 minutes.

• 45:59Speaker 07

  I know. I don't know what's, honestly, it's really.

• 46:02Speaker 05

  But you said that's the best you've played for 30 minutes, for ages.

• 46:06Speaker 07

  Yeah, but it was like, it was, like, there was the chances where it was like, he just had to, he rolled it under his foot rather than Fernandez and shoot and, so do you know what? If I'm glass half full, I'm going, this is going to get better because we just need to do what we did in the first 30 minutes for 60 minutes. And we will score. We're gonna, when you get those.

• 46:27Speaker 05

  We will score.

• 46:28Speaker 07

  We're going to score. If I'm glass half empty, you go, well, what do you expect when you sign a guy who's only scored one goal last season, Savio? And we basically signed a load of, load of, you know, rejects from the big teams. So, and also we've got Mudryk coming back in a few months. I don't know.

• 46:46Speaker 05

  I mean, you're clutching at straws if Mudryk's the hope.

• 46:49Speaker 07

  I'm looking, do you know what, Rob? I'll be honest with you, I'm looking forward to the international break, which is a lot.

• 46:53Speaker 06

  Oh, do you know what? Next Saturday, Rob, next Saturday.

• 46:56Speaker 05

  Josh has got something to ask it, yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 06

  Is Spurs v Aston Villa. Surely, surely. Also, I'm not letting you have the third round of the EFL Cup on Tuesday, that doesn't count for goals.

• 47:07Speaker 07

  Remember there was a game a few seasons back where it was Oli against Nuno, and they called it El Sacico because it was like.

• 47:13Speaker 05

  Who, who against Oli, against?

• 47:15Speaker 07

  Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Man United against Spurs. It was Ole Gunnar Solskjaer against Nuno, and we lost and then they fired Nuno.

• 47:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 07

  And it feels like that sort of, it has that similar sort of feeling slightly of like, now, can I say something? I don't want anyone, I am actually.

• 47:30Speaker 05

  Unai Emery is not getting sacked. He's just won Europa League for Aston Villa. He's incredible manager. He said his entire team ripped apart by having to sell them because of some sort of PSR, I don't understand.

• 47:42Speaker 07

  They're worth it to us.

• 47:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, but you've, you've spent half a billion pounds.

• 47:46Speaker 07

  No, we haven't. Our, our next spend was less than Hull in the end or something, wasn't it?

• 47:51Speaker 05

  Well, I don't think of Emery's, I think Emery will get a bit of grace because of what's happened.

• 47:57Speaker 07

  I think, I know you're gonna, you're comparing him to, he won a cup, but Deserby kept us up. And I do think that a lot of, I think we've gotta give him a bit longer.

• 48:06Speaker 06

  But Bill are in the Champions League, aren't they?

• 48:08Speaker 05

  Bill are in the Champions League, aren't they, Bill?

• 48:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, but that is, so what's better, getting in the Champions League and winning the Europa League or finishing 17th?

• 48:19Speaker 07

  I.

• 48:24Speaker 07

  Do you know, I've said something to you, right? This is where I'm at at the end of the week, this is where I'm feeling. You said something, I often say this to you, I think. And I always say that I think Tottenham should be like Seville. I think that we should try and be the team that's finished like sixth or seventh, get in the Europa League and win the Europa League every season. I'd be so happy with that. And right now, we, I think we could still finish sixth, seventh, maybe eighth.

• 48:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 07

  We've just gotta change our, our, we've just gotta change what we're aiming for.

• 48:53Speaker 05

  Well, the goal would be helpful.

• 48:57Speaker 05

  Start there.

• 48:58Speaker 07

  It's like, you know, it's the worst we've ever, I think it was in, it's the worst we've ever done, ever. Like, we haven't, in the entire history of the club, what, 100 and something years? We've never done this, ever.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  The cheer when you got that shit shot on target from Fernandez was so funny.

• 49:14Speaker 07

  I know, they all cheer, everyone cheers. But like, I do think that they, we've got to, like, when are we playing, hold on, when are we playing Coventry?

• 49:24Speaker 05

  Is that what you're holding out for, the Coventry game?

• 49:28Speaker 05

  I mean, what are the odds on that being 0-0?

• 49:30Speaker 06

  You're playing Coventry on October the 19th.

• 49:33Speaker 07

  So we're going, we've only got Villa.

• 49:36Speaker 05

  That's the game, that's the game.

• 49:37Speaker 06

  So your seventh game.

• 49:39Speaker 05

  Your seventh game, you got Coventry, and that's the game if you lose to that, that, to Coventry, you get, he gets sacked.

• 49:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, but I think that'll be the, that's now the trigger game. That's the game now that where suddenly we knock five past and they're all scoring everywhere.

• 49:53Speaker 05

  Right, okay, so, but your XG's gone down now, I looked because you was into that, to 0.64 in that last game.

• 49:58Speaker 07

  I know, Rob, you sent it to me and I ignored, I saw it there and I ignored it.

• 50:03Speaker 07

  I saw it. I just didn't bother looking at it. I knew you sent it and I, and my whole argument, but we did look good. Their XG was like, the only reason their XG was high because it was kinked, he fucked up and they had a clear, I don't know.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  No, yeah, you, yeah, but he can't be your number one. Anyway, so Josh has got a question. I'll just relay it back to you, Bill, one second, and then we'll let you get back to editing.

• 50:22Speaker 07

  You do know, you're ringing me to give me shit about, but you know I'm editing you guys at the minute on the show.

• 50:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:28Speaker 07

  I might leave, I might leave in some of the.

• 50:31Speaker 05

  Oh, you're editing Josh as well, aren't you?

• 50:33Speaker 06

  Could I just ask what his prediction is for Tottenham v Aston Villa?

• 50:37Speaker 05

  Look, Bill, I love you, Bill, and I'm just, I just, you're, you're great because you're always positive and I think there's too much negativity around Tottenham, so we're trying to spread some positivity.

• 50:44Speaker 06

  In the world, there's too much negativity in the world.

• 50:46Speaker 05

  Your prediction for the Liverpool game in the EFL and then Aston Villa at the weekend, what are you predicting?

• 50:51Speaker 07

  Okay, hold on. I think we're gonna, well, he's already said that he's changing the team against Liverpool, so we're gonna lose to Liverpool.

• 50:59Speaker 05

  You're losing to Liverpool.

• 51:00Speaker 07

  But, oh no, oh no, because I'm gonna say it, I mean, I think we're gonna beat Villa, all right?

• 51:13Speaker 05

  Okay, are you gonna batter them like Everton?

• 51:16Speaker 07

  I do think that we're gonna beat Villa.

• 51:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:18Speaker 07

  And then we're not, I know we're not because we can't score, but then I, if you look, look, look at it, they're lower than us. Do you?

• 51:27Speaker 05

  There's that many spaces to go.

• 51:28Speaker 07

  Where do you, what do you think the score will be, Aston Villa?

• 51:31Speaker 05

  I think it could be 0-0 or 1-0. I think it might be.

• 51:34Speaker 06

  I think 0-0 will be the funniest.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  0-0, I think, I'd love a 0-0. It's actually funnier just to watch you continually draw 0-0.

• 51:44Speaker 07

  Well, if he just did it for the rest of... Because he did, he made a point to Zerbi about how we're like, he goes, in the, he said after the game, he said like in Italy, we'd be celebrating that we didn't concede.

• 51:54Speaker 05

  Oh, fuck that.

• 51:56Speaker 07

  On the fact that we haven't scored.

• 51:57Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Well, in Italy, you know, a thousand years ago, they'd be letting a fucking lion on the pitch to eat a couple of players. But, but not in Italy and it's 2026.

• 52:06Speaker 07

  I think we'll beat Villa and then it's the international break and the international break's so long now, which is brilliant.

• 52:12Speaker 05

  I think you'll be all right after the international break. I think you just, they, they don't know how to play as a team at the moment and they're just all individuals. But once, if Zerbi's any good, he'll sort them out in the international break.

• 52:22Speaker 07

  Have you guys done anything?

• 52:23Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 52:24Speaker 07

  Have you guys already talked about United City?

• 52:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, you can chuck something in there if you want.

• 52:29Speaker 07

  Can you ring me that, can you ring me at that bit instead next time?

• 52:32Speaker 05

  Okay, what do you want to say about, what do you want to say about United City?

• 52:36Speaker 07

  They had 10 men. They had 10 men and they lost. They were at home.

• 52:40Speaker 06

  We covered that. We covered that. We covered that.

• 52:42Speaker 07

  That's basically the whole game.

• 52:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?

• 52:45Speaker 07

  And then United still lost.

• 52:47Speaker 06

  Yeah. Can you ask him whether we need to call him for Tony Mowbray's top five chocolates next week?

• 52:53Speaker 05

  We also.

• 52:53Speaker 07

  Gary was on the front.

• 52:55Speaker 05

  We all.

• 52:55Speaker 07

  He was on the front.

• 52:57Speaker 05

  We also covered Tony Mowbray's favourite chocolate bars, if you're, if you're aware.

• 53:01Speaker 07

  Oh, what happened there? I didn't see that. What happened to that bit?

• 53:03Speaker 05

  Oh, he loves Revels. Listen back, you'll hear it.

• 53:07Speaker 07

  I honestly, I think we'll beat Villa. I do.

• 53:10Speaker 05

  Okay. Who's, who's going to score? And your, and the goal scorer?

• 53:14Speaker 07

  I think it's Mamouche.

• 53:15Speaker 05

  Mamouche, yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 07

  I've got, I've put Simon.

• 53:18Speaker 05

  He's quite moany, Mamouche. He moans a lot.

• 53:21Speaker 07

  I've got, I'm, I've got Egyptian relatives and so we all just want Mamouche to score. I've promised, I've promised my father-in-law that I'd go to this cafe in Cairo with him, where they all watch the Spurs games. So I'm going to go, we all want Mamouche to score. And Mamouche is going to do it. He's going to score well.

• 53:38Speaker 05

  It's a long way to go for a 0-0, isn't it?

• 53:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  Please make you funny. See you later.

• 53:48Speaker 07

  Love you.

• 53:49Speaker 05

  Love you. Bye.

• 53:50Speaker 06

  Oh, it's great. We've droned on a lot, but I just want to read out one email, Rob, because we've got so many good emails.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  We need to do an email one.

• 53:57Speaker 06

  Working at Stadium Football Food and Drink Habits. Hello, Rob and Josh. You asked if anyone knew anything about what Premier League players eat? This was after the Chelsea cereal debacle.

• 54:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:07Speaker 06

  In the 2011-2012 season, I was late one day for my generic bar job at the Emirates and was reallocated to the press lounge, where they were short on staff. The boy who worked in the players lounge went to uni and so because I looked a bit like him, they moved me to the dream job. Players lounge.

• 54:25Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:26Speaker 06

  It was a free bar, but also alcohol-free since the day Wenger arrived. Okay. Do you want me to take you through the drinks?

• 54:34Speaker 05

  Go on.

• 54:36Speaker 06

  Per Murtasaka.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  Okay. Sparkling water.

• 54:40Speaker 06

  Apple juice and fizzy water. It's a great drink.

• 54:42Speaker 05

  It's a great drink. Love it. He's made it homemade tango.

• 54:46Speaker 06

  He, back in the day, would make the massive bastards team.

• 54:50Speaker 05

  No, he had a bit more, he was a bit more cultured, I think. Massive. Vinnie Jones was a massive bastard.

• 54:56Speaker 06

  Samir Nasri.

• 54:58Speaker 05

  Now, Samir Nasri, if I take away from his, the way his body's developed since retirement, I'd say full-fat Coca-Cola.

• 55:07Speaker 06

  Correct. Pepsi.

• 55:10Speaker 05

  I knew it.

• 55:11Speaker 06

  Andrej Arshavin.

• 55:12Speaker 05

  Oh, Russian guy. I think it might be something a bit off-kilter, like some sort of like tomato or grapefruit juice.

• 55:19Speaker 06

  Pepsi with a straw.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  See, I knew it was a bit different.

• 55:23Speaker 06

  Abu Dhabi.

• 55:24Speaker 05

  Abu Dhabi. Um, I think a orange juice or pineapple juice.

• 55:31Speaker 06

  Green tea.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Green tea.

• 55:33Speaker 06

  So a little insight, the captain chooses the type of food for the friends and family.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 55:38Speaker 06

  So it was quite posh food when Fabregas was captain, even though he wants to monitor the chef bringing pizza and a burger during a match that he was left out of just before the Barcelona move.

• 55:50Speaker 06

  Absolute great detail. Robin van Persie then changed the food when he became captain to be kid-friendly with chicken nuggets, chips and pizza, et cetera.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  Ah, okay. Like it.

• 56:01Speaker 06

  The players didn't eat it. They had chicken wraps and protein shakes in the changing rooms. Emmanuel Aboua was a joker and used to pretend to tip over my tray of drinks.

• 56:12Speaker 06

  Bakary Sanya's dad tried and failed to teach me French. Jack Wilshere and Abu Dhabi were always there because they were injured.

• 56:21Speaker 06

  David Seaman once popped in for a quick piss. Lovely bloke.

• 56:27Speaker 05

  I bet he has big pisses. He's a big old lump, Seaman.

• 56:29Speaker 06

  Well, I'll end with this detail. I once heard, Waszczak, is that how you pronounce it? Waszczak Szczesny.

• 56:35Speaker 05

  Szczesny, yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 06

  Say he'd stayed up all night because he'd just got a new iPad.

• 56:40Speaker 05

  I think he did do, he was like, he used to smoke in the showers and be a bit like of a wild child, Szczesny.

• 56:46Speaker 06

  Right. He got a new iPad and it kept him up all night.

• 56:48Speaker 05

  All night long on YouTube scrolling. That's before shorts.

• 56:53Speaker 06

  I wasn't allowed to take photos and I have one of proof with me with Abu Dhabi and Alex Song. Thanks, Joe from Bristol.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  Oh, thank you, Joe from Bristol. Please, more.

• 57:01Speaker 06

  Keep them coming in.

• 57:01Speaker 05

  Tales from the players.

• 57:02Speaker 06

  Rational X, irrational team rivalry behaviour, best ball footballers, et cetera.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  And you're massive bastards.

• 57:08Speaker 06

  And you're massive bastards and we'll try and do more next week, but the Manchester Derby took over.

• 57:13Speaker 05

  Oh, shirt-wise, I'm wearing a Juventus goalkeeper's kit from about two seasons ago.

• 57:18Speaker 06

  And I'm wearing a Lachey.

• 57:20Speaker 05

  A Lachey. Do you know what I bought the other day? I'm going to wear it soon. Italia 90s ref shirt.

• 57:26Speaker 06

  Oh my God, here we go. But not this week after the VAR controversy, Rob. Bit of respect.

• 57:31Speaker 05

  Long sleeve with a pocket for cards.

• 57:32Speaker 06

  Oh, lovely. Lovely.

• 57:34Speaker 05

  See you next time.

• 57:35Speaker 06

  Bye.