Who the F*** Is Wayne Federman?

He is literally That Guy from "Knocked Up," "Step Brothers," "The Larry Sanders Show" and, of course, "Curb Your Enthusiasm." But he's also a professor of stand-up, and his multiverse contains multitudes: Larry David's breaking point (and unaired film for Apple); Gary Shandling's secret pickup basketball game (with Bob Costas and David Duchovny); and the cinematic life (and death) of Pistol Pete Maravich. He may never have become the Newman of "Curb," but stay close to The Theory of Federman, and you might just learn the meaning of genius. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:56Speaker 02

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• 1:58Pablo Torre?

  Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  I don't know if you know an optometrist. I don't know. No, I don't know any optometrists. Well, I didn't think you did. So in that case, that's why I'm invoicing you.

• 2:10Speaker 05

  OK, you send me the invoice. I'm going to rip it up into tiny little pieces, and I might even pee on it.

• 2:15Pablo Torre?

  Right after this ad.

• 2:23Pablo Torre?

  I just have to say, like, the way we met each other is one of the most bizarre meet-cutes

• 2:31Pablo Torre?

  that my audience is already exhausted by because I talk about the thing we were at way too much. You've already talked about it? No, not, not, you are the big reveal. Oh, okay. Like, the big payoff of going to the fancy ceremony we were at in Los Angeles. Yep. And I can't say it because I've been actually told by my producers, "Stop talking about how you were at this thing." Yeah. Oh, we don't have to talk about the thing. We can just talk about the meeting as if it was without the environment with the N. Well, I just feel like it's, it's hard because part of the legend of you, it was sort of like through a gradual osmosis. As I look, you came up to me. Yeah, I know who you are, so it's not like...

• 3:15Pablo Torre?

  But I had a, I had what can only be described as the Wayne Fetterman experience, which is I locked eyes with you Yeah. with a latent familiarity that I could not place. And- Welcome, welcome to my world. But over and over again, these luminaries, like at one point, like Fred Armisen interrupted our conversation. Yeah, that happened. And said, "Wayne Fetterman." And I was like, "Who the [bleep] is Wayne Fetterman?" I didn't say that, but I was thinking it now that I can reveal that to you. Yeah, that's, uh, that's a great way to describe me. Who the [bleep] is Wayne Fetterman?

• 3:56Pablo Torre?

  So I just gotta point out that I do feel confident declaring something about that existential question that Wayne Fetterman has just articulated for us, which is that you, like me, have actually seen this guy before. I have seen.

• 4:14Pablo Torre?

  All of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  You have?

• 4:17Pablo Torre?

  I have.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  How many times?

• 4:19Pablo Torre?

  At least once, the full thing.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Even though it lasted decades, there was only 12 seasons?

• 4:26Pablo Torre?

  I believe that's right.

• 4:27Speaker 04

  Just so you know, I kinda like to live in the analog world a little bit.

• 4:31Pablo Torre?

  Which is another way of saying that Wayne Fetterman is both a part of comedy history and also one of its most acclaimed historians. And this is beyond the stuff he's done with Larry David and also beyond any of the 95 acting credits on one of the most amusing pages that I have ever seen on IMDb.com. Wayne has won an Emmy for producing a documentary about the life of George Carlin for HBO. He is working right now on a doc about Norm MacDonald. He also used to be a ventriloquist and a monologue writer at one point for Bob Newhart, as well as Jimmy Fallon. And also, in general, he's the type of person who was at Eddie Murphy's 21st birthday party at Studio 54.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  And the reason I was there is because I was starting to do stand-up comedy and my main club was the comic strip. And Eddie Murphy's manager was the guy Richie who ran the comic strip. So it was like, "Do you wanna come to this party?" I was like, "Yeah."

• 5:35Pablo Torre?

  And so, yeah, I treasure the point of view of a guy like Wayne Fetterman. Somebody who keeps finding himself in these rooms that I personally have always wanted to find out about. Even if the entire reason that Wayne and I started talking is that he is a hugely curious sports fan with a particular passion project, which we'll get to, who mostly wanted to talk to me about this room. Like, the room we are in right now.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  These gentlemen over here behind the glass, do they fact-check what you're saying in real time? Do they signal you?

• 6:14Pablo Torre?

  They tend to shame me in my ear.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  What happens over there?

• 6:17Pablo Torre?

  They're laughing at how often they sometimes have to do that, and I don't credit them at all. Because this is just omniscience. I am aware of all of your credits, which is, by the way, a list that I don't have enough time to actually recite.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  We don't have to do that.

• 6:33Pablo Torre?

  But the way that you are that guy, this is not an abstract description. A lot of your credits have the word "guy"

• 6:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:45Pablo Torre?

  in them.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  Thank you for diminishing the whole thing. I like it. No question, no question.

• 6:52Pablo Torre?

  But, you know, I saw Legally Blonde.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  You did?

• 6:55Pablo Torre?

  Of course.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:56Pablo Torre?

  And I just have to say, thank you for being in my studio admissions guy.

• 7:03Speaker 05

  She also designed a line of faux fur panties for her sorority's charity project.

• 7:10Speaker 07

  Uh huh, she's a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist.

• 7:15Speaker 05

  Elle Woods.

• 7:20Speaker 05

  Welcome to Harvard.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  Well, like I'd like to say, I know it's a small part, but if Elle Woods doesn't get into Harvard, as I've said many times, there's no movie. So that movie is about me. By the way, that is maybe of the movies I've done, even though I've done many, I feel like that movie has the deepest social impact, even more than Knocked Up or Step Brothers.

• 7:47Pablo Torre?

  I was gonna say even more than your turn as fantasy baseball guy in Knocked Up. Guy, let's emphasize guy, please.

• 8:00Speaker 07

  Carlos Delgado.

• 8:01Speaker 05

  Excellent choice. Too bad I got on three rounds ago.

• 8:03Speaker 07

  Still on the clock.

• 8:04Speaker 05

  Oh, shit.

• 8:05Speaker 07

  You gotta do something.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Hideki Matsui. Just took my whole outfield.

• 8:10Speaker 08

  Sorry, Charlie.

• 8:12Speaker 05

  What is this? Debbie. What the [__] is this? It's our fantasy baseball draft. We said no wives. Your fantasy what? It's our draft. The fantasy baseball. I told you all about this. Got Matsui.

• 8:30Pablo Torre?

  But fantasy baseball guy is a key character because, look, for those not familiar, Leslie Mann suspects Paul Rudd is cheating on her.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Correct.

• 8:39Pablo Torre?

  Only to discover that he's been, you know, hiding away at his fantasy baseball draft.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 8:45Pablo Torre?

  And there in front of the whiteboard, in a role that I can only assume you had prior experience with, there is Wayne Fetterman holding the stopwatch, running the draft.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  And here's the thing you should know about me. Paul Rudd was an expert at this. I am not. I'm not really a baseball guy. So that's how good actor I am. Did it look like I knew what I was doing?

• 9:08Pablo Torre?

  You were authoritative.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:10Pablo Torre?

  And also pathetic in the way that any good fantasy baseball draft would aspire to be.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  And do you know who was also sitting right there next to Paul Rudd? Director Paul Feig. It's a Paul Paul situation.

• 9:21Pablo Torre?

  Hmm.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Who I used to do stand-up with.

• 9:24Pablo Torre?

  I mean, you're, the way...

• 9:26Speaker 04

  I'm a bridge to another time.

• 9:28Pablo Torre?

  I should clarify that when you reference stand-up and comedy, you are also famed, and this is not even me kissing your ass, it's like objectively true. You're a professor of stand-up comedy at USC.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  Correct. But really what I teach there is the history of stand-up comedy. Because I do teach a class, an advanced class in it. But you can't teach anyone to be funny, so it's sort of a... A ripoff for those students.

• 9:54Pablo Torre?

  Well, you're also the author of the history of stand-up comedy.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 9:58Pablo Torre?

  And as well as, again, yet more things which I guess we'll just unfurl as we go.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Is it too much for you?

• 10:04Pablo Torre?

  No, it's just, it's just, I have a, I have a, a, a text file on my computer that resembles my attempt at organizing your life.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:13Pablo Torre?

  And I haven't even gotten to the fact that you're also Blind Man.

• 10:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:17Pablo Torre?

  And Step Brothers.

• 10:18Speaker 09

  Hey, Robert, what's all the commotion? Hey, Don. Is that your wife Nancy? Right here, Don. Can I come over this afternoon and touch your face? Sure. Thanks. Good luck, guys. See you, Don. Let's go, cinnamon. Heel cinnamon. Heel cinnamon.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  One of the greatest roles, the greatest Fetterman and outs, no question. So the Fetterman and out, yes, please explain. What happened? I kept appearing in these movies, not so much on television, but in just one scene, legally blind as admissions guy, blind guy in Step Brothers. So I would, and then I was like, okay, this is now a thing where I'm, no one wants to see me more than once, or as I say it, I'm probably just too brilliant, not in my acting, just like on screen, it's just too much for people to handle.

• 11:09Pablo Torre?

  Overwhelming.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Overwhelming, overwhelming. So I'm in one scene, I do something funny and I leave, and I just self-branded it, the Fetterman and out. Again, nobody really knows about it, but I just think it's funny to say.

• 11:21Pablo Torre?

  I mean, Fifty First Dates, Forty Year Old Virgin, and that's just the movies with numbers in them, I guess, as I keep on going here.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  You're funny.

• 11:29Pablo Torre?

  But you're, but you're also, by the way, and this is the other part, one of my favorite shows ever is Community.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  It is?

• 11:34Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  Have you seen the full?

• 11:37Pablo Torre?

  Of course.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Like her?

• 11:38Pablo Torre?

  Even, even on Yahoo.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  That's the season I was on. Can I ask you a question?

• 11:43Pablo Torre?

  Please.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  Turn around a little bit. Like, when I went to Yahoo as a Community fan, how did it feel?

• 11:49Pablo Torre?

  It took me years to get to.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  It did.

• 11:51Pablo Torre?

  I'm not gonna lie.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Right. Not, why would you start lying?

• 11:53Pablo Torre?

  Well, because I just-

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Why would you even say you would?

• 11:55Pablo Torre?

  Because I am, I'm a journalist, Wayne. That's the difference between me and the other people you've appeared on podcasts with.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 12:01Pablo Torre?

  I'm here with an obligation. To tell the truth.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:03Pablo Torre?

  And despite loving Community.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  Loving it.

• 12:06Pablo Torre?

  Loving it.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  So, yeah, that's really what I wanted.

• 12:09Pablo Torre?

  Confused by how much I love a show that you yourself were a pivotal in the end.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  No, of course. But before we get to that, I just, I'm just, this is new in television. Where a television show is da, da, da, da, da, da, da, and then right at the end goes to a whole different section of the broadcast. Yeah, the broadcast world.

• 12:27Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  And you resisted it.

• 12:29Pablo Torre?

  It took a while because.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  Tell me why.

• 12:32Pablo Torre?

  Because I, to, to, to, to describe my frustration and my awe of how media works now. There are just a zillion things. And once you're out of my point of view, I unfortunately might love you, but I will forget you.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 12:49Pablo Torre?

  Which I think brings us back to you, because you have often been literally in my line of sight.

• 12:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:55Pablo Torre?

  And you keep on coming back. To the point that you are like the final, you play, the role you play in Community, by the way, in the finale, in the series finale.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:06Pablo Torre?

  Is that of father.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Not guy.

• 13:09Pablo Torre?

  Not, this is a big, this is a big.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  This is a big jump for me. I couldn't sleep the night before. I was like, I'm not a guy? Who am I, a father? Okay, okay. Let me work on this character.

• 13:19Speaker 10

  Sorry, Dad. Guess I win.

• 13:24Speaker 07

  You stupid child. Nobody's winning anything. Don't you see?

• 13:30Speaker 07

  This means we don't exist.

• 13:33Speaker 07

  We're not created by God, created by a joke. We were never born and we will never actually live.

• 13:41Pablo Torre?

  I think you have the most expansive social network of anybody in comedy. Genuinely, at this point. I mean, by the way, take it on face value.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  I like that you're yelling. I love it.

• 13:51Pablo Torre?

  Wayne.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  I love the emotion.

• 13:53Pablo Torre?

  Wayne, when it comes to the, the, the theory of you.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, the theory of Fetterman.

• 13:59Pablo Torre?

  It is a node. And into that node is, I think, literally everybody in Hollywood. There is a lot. Do I give you credit for that? Is this by design? The fact that you are, in fact... No, I'm just literally one gig at a time. You're like a multiversal character. You like show up in the cinematic universes of all of these separate, parallel worlds. And the only unifying thing is kind of you.

• 14:42Pablo Torre?

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• 15:15Speaker 00

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• 15:39Speaker 01

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• 16:15Pablo Torre?

  I've been just inhaling all of these cameos, appearances, Reddit threads. By the way, there's a Reddit thread that asks, and again, in Curb Your Enthusiasm, I should catch people up, you play a character by the name of?

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Dean Weinstein, not guy. Again, in movies, I'm a little more in television, I have a little more of a part than I do in film. Go ahead.

• 16:39Pablo Torre?

  But the question posed in the subject of this Reddit thread is, quote, "Is Dean the biggest douche ever on the show?" Two question marks.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  I love it, I love it. Well, you've watched the show, all on Home Box Office, I assume?

• 16:59Pablo Torre?

  That's right.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 17:00Pablo Torre?

  Hard to argue, hard to argue. You are such a douche that they summoned you. I believe, this is doing the math here, you first appear in episode six of season one.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  Correct.

• 17:12Pablo Torre?

  The economy of douche-ness.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Thank you, thank you.

• 17:16Pablo Torre?

  You show up as a lawyer, and immediately you're like, I hate this [BLEEP] guy.

• 17:21Speaker 11

  Hi. Hi. Come in.

• 17:24Speaker 05

  Hi, Dean, I'm Larry.

• 17:27Speaker 11

  Hi, Phyllis.

• 17:27Speaker 05

  Larry David. Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 11

  Hi, Phyllis.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Hello, hi, Phyllis, hi.

• 17:31Speaker 11

  I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built.

• 17:34Speaker 05

  With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it like Jimmy Carter.

• 17:38Pablo Torre?

  How did you get that role?

• 17:42Speaker 04

  Well, I knew Larry from stand-up. I knew him right, right, stand-up is like high school. Like there's, you're a freshman, they're seniors, so you don't really hang out that much, but... So I would introduce him at the comic strip, we had spoken about that earlier, and it was always the same, anyone who worked with Larry was the same. He was notorious for cutting his sets short if it wasn't going well. So I would introduce, here he is from Fridays, Larry David, he would come up, and then he would shake your hand and go, "Stay close." You know, and it means, don't go out of the room and wait for the 10 minutes or the 12 minutes.

• 18:18Pablo Torre?

  In case he wants to bail?

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Hundred percent, that was his move, that was his move. And so I knew him from then, and I...

• 18:27Speaker 04

  And then, you know, all those years, by the way, I know you think I'm in the universe of everything, but I thought for sure, a hundred percent, I was gonna show up on Seinfeld in some manner. A hundred percent. That's how confident I was. And, you know, God laughs. I don't know if you know the expression?

• 18:48Pablo Torre?

  Yes, just make a plan.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, never happened. It's like, damn. Never, and Jerry, the whole, him. Yeah, right. You came up in stand-up as a... Jerry was a little, but we had done the first Aspen Comedy Festival together. So again, the disappointments, I know you're doing the highlights, but there's also, along the way, there has been numerous, like, okay, this is not quite what I had hoped for. And so, when that show started, I had seen the hour special, so I sort of knew the vibe of it. And I auditioned, believe it or not, for The Blind Guy, later that I got in Step Brothers, as you know.

• 19:27Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  You had just mentioned. But there's this blind character who, like, boss is also a douchebag, right? I didn't get it. And then I was like, is this gonna be another Seinfeld situation for me? And then the next one was like, all, when I auditioned, all that they said was, gave you a piece of paper, you're the biggest fan of Julia Louis-Dreyfus. That's all they said. And then you went in, Larry was there, and you just improvised the whole thing.

• 19:52Pablo Torre?

  Right. So, it's just so I understand, because again, just the mechanics of Curb, which is famously improvisational.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 19:58Pablo Torre?

  The premise is set, meaning Larry has a wire running across his backyard that he and Cheryl hate.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. All of this is written.

• 20:05Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  All of that, the beats of the story are written. You know this.

• 20:09Pablo Torre?

  Right. And so, the lawyer that they summon, who is you, their neighbor who needs to basically sign off on the

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 20:15Pablo Torre?

  The burial of the wire.

• 20:17Speaker 04

  Right. For the neighborhood.

• 20:19Pablo Torre?

  For the neighborhood, exactly.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:20Pablo Torre?

  Um, that is set, but in terms of how you do you, how you Fetterman and out, that was a surprise to everybody.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  I found it.

• 20:34Speaker 07

  Does that look familiar at all to you? Is it?

• 20:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, where'd you get this?

• 20:39Speaker 07

  It was in my house. It was under a cushion by the chair.

• 20:44Speaker 07

  I was just wondering if that was yours.

• 20:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 07

  I didn't know.

• 20:47Speaker 05

  Thank you. Thank you.

• 20:48Speaker 07

  There's a reward involved with that. Just look right in the front part. It says $500 to the person who returns this to L. David. I put two and two together and thought the L. stood for Larry.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  Here was my strategy, very simple. Was because I am a very nice, effusive guy. Like, that's my thing since I was a kid.

• 21:10Speaker 04

  But I was like, okay, I immediately got, okay, that I wanted to, under the guise of being nice, be the worst possible human being. So every time I say it, it's like in a friendly way, like, oh, this has to be, yeah, we gotta get this taken care of. Like, not in any aggressi-- the most passive aggressive, I think, is the term.

• 21:30Speaker 07

  It's always been a dream of mine to meet Julie and Louis Drives. And just meet her in person. And if you could just make a phone call and make that happen, that would be so great.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  You know what? I'm more than happy to call her up. I can't guarantee.

• 21:47Speaker 07

  So it's so hard to get anything absolutely guaranteed. It's like, when it gets buried, you don't know if it's guaranteed or either. No, no. You don't even know if that's impo-- because there's a lot of papers to be signed. I agree with you there.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  But after I did that episode.

• 22:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 04

  And it went so well, it was sent out as a nominee for an Emmy Award. So they, not only I liked what I did, but they liked what I did. And they were like, oh, this is set. You're gonna be the neighbor. Larry loves, you know, like, these running characters. It's gonna be, you're like Newman or something like that. Someone's cooking.

• 22:26Speaker 12

  Hello Jerry.

• 22:28Speaker 04

  Hello Newman. Next season they moved for a number of reasons and that was it.

• 22:33Pablo Torre?

  Yes, right. They changed houses.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  Yes. So I know it's just a funny thing for you, but it was crushing for me, like.

• 22:41Pablo Torre?

  Right.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Cause I was like, okay, this is gonna be a fun role.

• 22:44Pablo Torre?

  So were you surprised when you were brought back now 56 episodes later?

• 22:49Speaker 04

  I love the math. Thanks guys, thanks guys.

• 22:52Pablo Torre?

  Episode 62 titled "Vehicular Fallatio."

• 22:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 22:56Pablo Torre?

  And Dean Weinstock is back.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  Larry? Larry David.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  Dean. Dean Weinstock.

• 23:06Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's gonna be your next door neighbor.

• 23:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  Hey man, it is so good to see you. Hey, hey. Whoa.

• 23:13Speaker 05

  Oh Christ.

• 23:16Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  These are broken. Thank you. Thank you.

• 23:20Pablo Torre?

  But when they bring you back, I mean.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Years later. This is now over 10 years later, right?

• 23:25Pablo Torre?

  And it's almost, yes, and it's almost like an inside joke. If you remember. Cause part of the, actually, part of the premise of this is Larry re-encounters Dean Weinstock and the the interaction is so fucking good.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 23:43Pablo Torre?

  In terms of two people who, again, who kind of, the through line of this whole episode so far is, what happens when you meet someone that you kind of remember but aren't sure exactly who it is?

• 23:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:54Pablo Torre?

  And the way you handle it.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 23:56Pablo Torre?

  Ends up being passive aggressive to the point of like driving Larry David insane.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  That is just so good to see you, man. That is awesome.

• 24:05Speaker 05

  Good to see you. Good to see you.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  That is great.

• 24:07Speaker 05

  Gee, I'm sorry about your glasses here.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'll send you a bill. Tell me, how's Cheryl? How's, where'd you guys move to?

• 24:15Speaker 05

  You what? You'll send me a bill? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These are, I don't think these can be fixed. Wait a second. Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Same strategy. The only thing was, was like, I was trying to figure out, how am I gonna justify, once these gla- That's all it was like. We're gonna hug, the glasses are gonna break, and you're gonna ask me to pay for them. That's all I said. So I'm thinking, how am I going to make this just seem in any way reasonable in the real world to anyone? So that's what I was, and I came up with like an angle on it, like, oh, okay, okay, he just needs to replace the glasses instead of pay for it. That. So I went up to him before the thing, I go, I think I have, and he's like, no, no, no, don't tell me anything. I don't wanna know. We'll do it on camera.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  And it just, I, I haven't really ever said this, but he was laughing so much during that scene. Every time I would just do the, no, it's no big deal, you just replace, you know, just the casualness of the-

• 25:14Pablo Torre?

  Almost like the bloodless attempt to just coerce you to give you money.

• 25:19Speaker 05

  Even if I did initiate the hug? Yes. Which I didn't. Yeah. That still doesn't make me responsible for your glasses. They're your glasses. They're around your neck.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  With all due respect, I feel like you didn't recognize me. Then I did the hey, then I did the shake, and then you came in, and because you were so embarrassed and so mortified that you did not recognize me, you overcompensated by a super strong hug that broke my glasses.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  That's an incredibly idiotic theory.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  I think because you're a needy person, you wanted me to like you, so you hugged me.

• 25:47Speaker 05

  I'm not a needy person, okay? That's number one. I have no needs at all, okay?

• 25:52Speaker 04

  I do know there are some people, I have not gone deep dive, that are like, they break it down frame by frame, who reached out, who started, who initiated, who instigated or initiated, those are close words, but not exactly synonymous. So it was, uh- Yeah, it was a little, there is a little bit of a...

• 26:11Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, how devious is Dean Weinstein as a subtext here?

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Right. Was that intentional?

• 26:16Pablo Torre?

  Did he fall down in front of a car?

• 26:17Speaker 04

  First of all, who has glasses around their neck? The whole thing was...

• 26:20Pablo Torre?

  But the whole thing of the building to the...

• 26:23Speaker 04

  What am I, a librarian? Who wears the gla... Come on.

• 26:26Pablo Torre?

  But the whole, the whole thing of you navigating the traffic of human interaction only to reveal, "Oh, by the way..."

• 26:32Speaker 04

  I don't know if you know an optometrist. I don't know.

• 26:35Speaker 05

  No, I don't know any optometrists.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't think you did. So in that case, that's why I'm invoicing you.

• 26:38Speaker 05

  Okay, you send me the invoice. I'm going to rip it up into tiny little pieces, and I might even pee on it.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Why, why are we fighting here?

• 26:45Speaker 05

  We're fighting because you're a moron. That's why we're fighting.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  You know I have cancer, right? You know that's why I'm here. I don't want to have a fight with you. In fact, my doctor said to not have any fights at all.

• 26:59Pablo Torre?

  Boom, the cancer card.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just like, that was him, that was him. That was, that was, that was the only thing.

• 27:06Pablo Torre?

  You were driving towards that payoff.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  And it's been, I would love, one day, maybe, if anyone's listening, to find the outtakes, because he was really...

• 27:16Pablo Torre?

  Oh, I was gonna ask, how often does he break?

• 27:18Speaker 04

  He breaks a lot. He has a little bit of a, what we call a comedic glass jaw.

• 27:22Pablo Torre?

  Look, regardless of how often he laughs, I have to imagine that making that guy in specific laugh has to be like a glorious feeling for someone who wants to make others laugh. Like Larry David laughing...

• 27:35Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm literally getting emotional. You say, "Yeah, he's a genius." It's like, yeah, I couldn't, yeah. It was, for sure, a career highlight.

• 27:44Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Now, do you know about Larry and I's, you know, the character came back once more?

• 27:49Pablo Torre?

  Ooh. No, this evaded my research.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Well, this is, um, I don't know if I'm... All right, I think I can tell, because it's out. Apple?

• 28:01Pablo Torre?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Hired Larry to do, uh, an in-house episode where he was the guy who approved apps. It's basically, okay? Okay? Apple hired Larry David to make a bar mitzvah video for them for, you can imagine the amount of money. Okay, you can imagine the amount of money. And then, uh, secret, never, never aired because, I don't know why...

• 28:27Pablo Torre?

  Internal use only. Oh, yes, yeah, this is for WWDC.

• 28:32Pablo Torre?

  Which is the Worldwide Developers Conference.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  So I don't know if you know this, because it keeps popping up and then getting taken down immediately.

• 28:40Pablo Torre?

  My favorite genre of internet artifact is this kind.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  It is? Is there a word for it?

• 28:45Pablo Torre?

  It's a bit of a snow leopard. It just like appears, disappears, reappears. But yes, he's an app reviewer.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 28:51Pablo Torre?

  Okay, so please take us into the plot though.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  So I'm allowed to talk about it, because I signed, I signed something. I signed an NDA.

• 28:58Pablo Torre?

  Apple doesn't have a lot of money. They're not gonna, they don't have a legal budget.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  Right, right. So I'm, yeah. So I've signed, I've signed, right now I'm breaking, whatever that is. I'm disclosing.

• 29:08Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  So, so that's, so in that one, Dean, he's going in and I'm drafting behind him because I left my pass key, which just happened to you, at home.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  What are you doing? Telegetting? I just need to get in.

• 29:33Speaker 05

  Do you work here? Yeah, I've been working here for eight years. Where's your, where's your tag? That's the thing I left at home. Yeah, well, I don't know. Just keep walking. We're gonna go in together. You're trying to coast on my security wake? It doesn't matter. If the situation were reversed, I'd do this for you. If the situation were reversed? Yeah. Or was reversed. I don't know if it's were or was reversed. I would say were, yeah. My point is, if the situation were reversed, I'd do it for you. That's all. But you know what? You can't reverse situations. Situations, only Superman can reverse a situation by spinning around the world and making it go the other way, okay? And you're not Superman. And even if you were, you don't have an ID. And you couldn't prove it. So you couldn't even prove you're Superman. It's the rules. You just follow the, uh. Yes, yes. Yeah, like Germany. Exactly. And that worked out well. Well, they were very well organized.

• 30:19Speaker 05

  And then at the end, of course, he leaves his and these behind me.

• 30:34Speaker 07

  You need to get in. You don't have your... I would, I would be happy to let you in, seriously, but I learned this morning that situations don't reverse themselves.

• 30:44Speaker 05

  This, this reversed, it's unprecedented. It's an unprecedented reversal situation.

• 30:50Speaker 07

  That gentleman will help you. I usually would. I don't like rules.

• 30:55Speaker 05

  I would never let go of me to anybody. I'll kill you.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Just sidebar, what are they? What happens if you break a nondisclosure? Can you get sued? Like, what it, what? I mean, obviously, I'm not worried about it. But just in general, what is the thing?

• 31:12Pablo Torre?

  We're gonna have my producers just check on that as we proceed.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 31:26Speaker 10

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• 31:41Speaker 13

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• 31:52Speaker 10

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• 31:57Speaker 14

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• 32:03Speaker 10

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• 32:23Speaker 11

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• 33:24Pablo Torre?

  Something that was a lot easier to obtain. And again, so during the pandemic, this is, again, just the way in which you have seeped into my, Yep. the crevices of my, of my brain. During the pandemic, I got into Larry Sanders Show. Oh, my God. For the first time. I'd never seen it, knew it as like your favorite comedian's favorite comedy. Right. And- Can I ask how old you are? I am 39. Oh, you seem more youthful than that. Thank you. I think it's just- What happened? It's just Asian skin. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right. And your mom. Yeah, a dermatologist. Yeah. Okay. Do you do- Botox. No, but do you do a regimen? I, I, my mom has, has yelled at me for 39 years that I should do regimen. And I'm like, Mom, I got natural oils.

• 34:08Pablo Torre?

  Come on, this is where, I'm good. So I'm, I'm just doing the math. Yeah. Back to Larry Sanders. Allowed me to be the nine zillionth person to say, oh, that show's good. But you appear- Mm-hmm. in a key episode. Yes, I do. Again, you have this capacity to just like wind up at these pivotal moments in these serieses. And it's season six, episode six. Yep, six, six, yep. And you remember your character's name? Sure. I mean, what are you talking about? That's Stan Sanders, the brother of Larry Sanders. Okay.

• 34:45Speaker 08

  Stan! Thank God, it's great to see ya.

• 34:48Speaker 07

  Hey, it's been too long.

• 34:50Speaker 08

  Great to see ya. Come on in.

• 34:51Speaker 07

  Thanks for the limousine.

• 34:52Speaker 08

  Are you kidding?

• 34:53Speaker 07

  Great. Now, I shouldn't have tipped that guy, right?

• 34:56Speaker 08

  No, I completely took care of that. You don't have to worry.

• 35:00Speaker 07

  Oh, great. Is this an original?

• 35:02Speaker 08

  Don't touch this. Just go on in.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Never before seen, never before really spoken about. There's an earlier episode where Colin Quinn, I'm sure you know that comedian, plays like the son of Rip Torn's character, or the nephew or something like that. So it was like, I think that worked so well, they were like, okay, what if, you know, we'd learned a little about this megalomaniac's life, you know? A little, and how that would turn out.

• 35:32Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, what if his brother was, again, just like, cravenly? A schemer!

• 35:41Speaker 04

  Right, have no sentimentality whatsoever.

• 35:44Pablo Torre?

  Zero. Shows up, is invited to-

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Same kinda thing, friendly guy.

• 35:48Pablo Torre?

  Like going through baseball cards in a simulation of their childhood, only to pitch, only to pitch Gary Shandling, Larry Sanders, on a quote-unquote legitimate business venture that involves-

• 36:01Speaker 07

  Barry? My friend. Which guy's that? He's the guy that can get his hands on these diamonds, they're uncut. Oh. He brings them over from South Africa, it's seven million dollars. As soon as they come over, it's 25 million dollars. Everything's included and certified. That's something.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, and also, what to do for his final episode.

• 36:21Pablo Torre?

  Which is a pay-per-view finale.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:25Speaker 07

  Remember Carson's last show? The last show, the big last show? Yeah. How many people you think tuned in for that? How many viewers?

• 36:34Speaker 07

  They're in the business. I don't know. 20 million.

• 36:38Speaker 07

  Twenty million.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  That sounds right.

• 36:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, that's why Carson's an idiot. Because if he'd just done a pay-per-view at thirty-nine dollars a pop, he would have made eight-hundred million dollars one night. That's before video or anything. Idiot.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Just...

• 36:52Pablo Torre?

  Which is actually like ahead of its time. When it comes to the future of media, Jon Skipper, former eastern president, who does this show often.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:59Pablo Torre?

  He often talks about how the Super Bowl one day should just go pay-per-view.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  Oh, right.

• 37:04Pablo Torre?

  And so you kind of presaged the premise of just like, hey, this is a finale. You should, you should drain every cent out of the American public.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  By the way, the people that created a hit show that's on right now called The Studio?

• 37:16Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 04

  The two guys that wrote my episode are the guys that created The Studio.

• 37:21Pablo Torre?

  Were they responsible for Adolf Hankler?

• 37:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 37:25Pablo Torre?

  I mean, that, by the way, the fact that that's the undercard in this conversation.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  No, even better than Adolf Hankler, which is insane.

• 37:33Pablo Torre?

  Which is like, I...

• 37:34Speaker 04

  Insane comedy.

• 37:35Pablo Torre?

  It's, so briefly, Jon Stewart is filling in. So Gary Janling, Larry Sanders, is nearing the end of his run as the host of Larry Sanders Show. Jon Stewart is filling in for him in this like changing of the guard.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 37:46Pablo Torre?

  And one of the first things he does is he has Hank.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 37:51Pablo Torre?

  Jeffrey Tambor. The, the great Jeffrey Tambor.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 37:55Pablo Torre?

  The sidekick. Dress and just be Hitler.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  In a game show, a fake game show.

• 38:02Pablo Torre?

  In a fake game show.

• 38:03Speaker 17

  You won the coin toss backstage. Pick the first category. Uh, uh, I'll take twentieth century history, Adolf. What? The cause of the sinking of the Titanic. Uh, what is an iceberg? No, I'm sorry. The correct response is what were the Jews?

• 38:23Pablo Torre?

  Sometimes you see a time capsule in television where you're like, how have you not heard about this until now?

• 38:29Speaker 04

  Right.

• 38:29Pablo Torre?

  And that episode was so saturated with just like, all of this happened? This is the season, again, the last season of the show.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 38:37Pablo Torre?

  And it's just one of the greatest episodes of...

• 38:39Speaker 04

  Jason Alexander.

• 38:39Pablo Torre?

  Yes! Yes, he's there. He's, he walks out as a, as a representative of the ADL, I believe he is. He's a celebrity.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  You're good, you're good.

• 38:47Pablo Torre?

  No, but, but it, all of which is to say that... Gary Shandling, for you, I mean, this is my way of finally winding around to the fact that part of the reason that we got along when we first met is because you're an actual, like, basketball fan. You're a huge sports fan, but basketball in particular.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 39:04Pablo Torre?

  You are, unfortunately, for the time constraints of this episode,

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:08Pablo Torre?

  maybe Hollywood's foremost expert on Pistol Pete Maravich.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Well, there's a number of people have written books on Pete Maravich.

• 39:15Pablo Torre?

  But Hollywood, I just feel like it's weird that you're, like, I love passion projects. One of your passion projects was

• 39:22Speaker 04

  No question.

• 39:22Pablo Torre?

  to tell the, I guess, cinematically adapted story of Pete Maravich.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  I've always wanted to do a movie about his life because I thought it was Shakespeare and basketball. Like, that's the story of Pete Maravich, in my opinion. Like, just crazy tragic, and you know all the beats to it, and so...

• 39:40Pablo Torre?

  But for those who don't, I mean, like, what's the logline of the Pete Maravich story?

• 39:44Speaker 04

  Well, it's a kid who, with a father who was a basketball coach, dedicates his childhood to become the greatest basketball player of all time by practicing obsessively, eight hours a day, alone, whatever that skill is, and then becomes, just through luck and his absolute dedication to this, becomes this not only incredible basketball player, but a showman.

• 40:15Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Like, becomes a Harlem Globetrotter playing in a real basketball game.

• 40:19Pablo Torre?

  One of the most creative players in the history of sport, athletes, period, in any sport.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 40:25Speaker 07

  Before the game would start, during the National Anthem, he'd look up at the flag, and then he'd look over to the scoreboard, and it's showtime.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  But he's not happy playing in the NBA. I forget the college stuff, where he averaged 44 points.

• 40:39Pablo Torre?

  Where he's the all-time scoring leader in NCAA history.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  Right, and so, then he goes to the pros, not happy in the pros, says very early on, like, as soon as I win a championship, I want to get out of it. This is not as fun as I thought it was going to be. And then has a very star-crossed career, becomes All-Pro, does great, but doesn't get the chip, as they say, as they like to say.

• 41:04Pablo Torre?

  Have you ever seen, I mean, I assume you have.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, tell me.

• 41:07Pablo Torre?

  One of the all-time great videos is the Pete Maravich instructional.

• 41:15Speaker 18

  Ball handling and spinning. That's what we're gonna go over today. And you know, there's basic fundamentals of ball handling, and there's also creative fundamentals. And that's what I'm gonna show you today. The basic fundamentals, the creative fundamentals. You're gonna have a lot of fun doing these drills.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  I write about it in the book extensively. It's one of the, it's done within eight months of his death.

• 41:34Pablo Torre?

  Is that right?

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Yes, it's done in 87, he dies in January 88.

• 41:38Pablo Torre?

  It's so amazing to watch because it's like a magician telling you, "This is how I do my tricks." And a lot of the tricks involve like snapping your wrists in ways that I didn't know were physically possible.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's a quote from Red Auerbach, that Pete breaks the rules of, breaks the rules of physics.

• 41:58Speaker 18

  All of a sudden, you're coming down like this, and then all of a sudden, you take that ball, and you go right here, and you go, and the ball goes on the other side. It's amazing. And what happens? You know what's happened? The guy there is gonna eat air. You ever seen a guy eat air? That's what happens on that pass. Called the wrist pass. Right here, straight over. It's very deceptive. How do you throw it? You lock your arms completely out. You lock your arms completely out, and it's all wrist. It's just wrist, it's wrist.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  And then they gradually, it like incrementally get harder and harder. So they get to the point where no one can do it unless you spend hours and hours alone doing it. And he does it like, "Do it, it's fun." Like, "No, Pete, we can't do it." "You can do it." "So do it, it's fun." So he was just oblivious to how difficult these things were. But I guess because he mastered them, he figured, "Oh, any kid can master." Not even thinking that maybe he was gifted in some way. So he was just beautiful. Yeah, those tapes are incredible.

• 43:03Pablo Torre?

  Oh, but, but you're describing something that I am eternally... Intrigued by which is like, what does genius actually entail? Yeah. And there is effectively this ineffable, irreproducible aspect of like, you can try to copy, you can, you can, you can grind as much instructional videotape by Pete Maravich as you want, but you can't be one of the truly tragically youngest players ever inducted in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Correct, correct, correct. Because he dies at, how old was he? He was 40. I mean, just like, again, speaking of my preemptive horror of my own existentialism. Right, you're right on the cusp. That's fucking wild. Yeah.

• 43:46Pablo Torre?

  Like, again, there are examples of athletes dying young, but the movie version of this man's life in which he dies during a pickup game. Yep. In 1988, because he has a Right, yeah, in California, right over there, right across the country. And it's because, I mean, I guess this is not the medical term, but it is a broken heart. He has this undetected heart defect.

• 44:13Speaker 07

  When they did an autopsy to find out why he collapsed on his basketball court, they found out that he was missing his right coronary artery. Born with it that way. A defective heart, basically half his heart, wooden bum. And it's almost stunning because here's a guy that ran his whole life. Unlike Secretariat, who when they opened up his heart, he had an enlarged heart. His heart was bigger. He basically had a bigger engine than the horses he was running against.

• 44:44Speaker 07

  Pete had a smaller heart, but stronger in some ways.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  So there's this magical part of his career that's now, and because he had become a Christian and was proselytizing and sharing his testimony, very much for the last six years of his life. He has this Aura about him beyond the basketball. And he said, and it's weird, you know, I love the guy so much. He said, if I'm only known for being a basketball guy, I would feel like that wasn't a success for him. Like, there was more to life to that. And unfortunately, most people, that's how they know the guy. So it's, uh, it's beyond cinematic. And the year he leaves, the very next year, the team he left wins the championship.

• 45:31Pablo Torre?

  Sure.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  How about that?

• 45:32Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  Pablo. But, but, but. How about finding out about that?

• 45:36Pablo Torre?

  Well, what I want to find out is who would you have cast as Pete Maravich?

• 45:40Speaker 04

  Oh, I don't know. It would have to be, it's so, that would be the tricky part.

• 45:44Pablo Torre?

  You need a guy who can actually plausibly.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I, that's a good question, because it kept changing. You know who wanted to do it when the book came out?

• 45:51Pablo Torre?

  Who?

• 45:52Speaker 04

  Sidakis.

• 45:52Pablo Torre?

  I kind of love that.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:54Pablo Torre?

  He's a, he's a lefty, though.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, right. We could fix it. We could fix it.

• 45:57Pablo Torre?

  He claims, Sidakis claims to be, uh, an above 90% lifetime free throw shooter.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's very good. I've played with him.

• 46:05Pablo Torre?

  So I want to get to, so this is, this is the segue from, I wish, I wish that, uh, Sidakis would have been Pete Maravich in this hypothetical movie that never got made, to the legendary pickup runs that I actually always needed to ask you about, which also brings us back to Gary Shandling.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  Oh, the Sunday game?

• 46:26Pablo Torre?

  Yeah.

• 46:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  Well, that was just Gary took, again, Pablo, Gary liked me for some crazy reason. He just thought I was funny. I don't know if it's, you know, I'm from Florida, he's from Arizona, you know what I mean? We're not like New York, LA, rich kid, anything like that. So I, I'm just guessing. And he ran a Sunday game at his house to feel like.

• 46:55Speaker 04

  I don't know, just part of something outside of show business. And I not only was in the game for 20 years, but became the unofficial commissioner of that game.

• 47:07Pablo Torre?

  Okay, so I'm bounding out a lot now.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:10Pablo Torre?

  Please explain for people who don't know what this is.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  It's a half court game. It's at his house. He had this beautiful house that, by the way, recently just torn down, that he had built. If you ever see, there's a documentary I co-produced, didn't produce, called The Zen Diaries of Gary Shandling. And we get into this, how important this game was to him. And so it started with, you know, friends, but it's also, you know, he knows everyone. So it's, you know, one time Bob Costas plays. It's one time Brad Pitt plays.

• 47:41Pablo Torre?

  I need scouting reports on all of these names as you mention them. Do you remember anything about Bob Costas and/or Brad Pitt?

• 47:47Speaker 04

  I remember Bob Costas because he was on my team. It's three on three, three on three. He would play like this.

• 47:52Pablo Torre?

  Half court.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, half court. No threes, no three pointers. And I, Costas was good, but he was always trying to make me go down to post up because I am 6'2", which makes sense.

• 48:07Pablo Torre?

  You're running a high-low.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  He wanted me to run. And I don't have, my, here's my motto when it comes to basketball, which is the opposite of David Duchovny's motto. He's, "Good things happen in the paint. I'm bad things happen in the paint." So I'm like, I'm like a guard, a forward trapped in a, a guard trapped in a forward's body. Like, I like to shoot from the outside, crash the boards a little bit, play defense. I don't want to be banging down low. But that's what Costas wanted me to do. And he kept yelling at me, he was very frustrated, like, again, he's a great guy.

• 48:40Pablo Torre?

  I like Bob Costas eloquently yelling at you in my mind.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  He was like, not having it. He was not, I was like, "Why aren't you posting up?" I was like, "'Cause I can't do this." That's why. "'Cause I can't, because Adam McKay is pushing me out. I can't do this."

• 48:57Pablo Torre?

  If you were to like power rank, who's the best, who's the best player when it comes to the legendary Gary Shandling?

• 49:03Speaker 04

  David Duchovny.

• 49:05Speaker 08

  Dave, Dave played at Princeton his freshman year?

• 49:10Speaker 12

  Yes.

• 49:12Speaker 12

  Played as a...

• 49:12Speaker 08

  I'm not real good. Oh! You didn't have that against your eye, did you? I was trying to be really careful.

• 49:21Speaker 05

  Okay, so now, you guys tell me, so actually, you guys...

• 49:25Speaker 08

  Well, optics.

• 49:27Pablo Torre?

  No hesitation.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Of the celebrities?

• 49:30Pablo Torre?

  David Duchovny.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, he had an outside shot.

• 49:33Pablo Torre?

  What's his game?

• 49:34Speaker 04

  Everything. Outside, inside, and hands. You know, people are just good around the rim. He could do either hand, had really nice touch inside, good pump fakes, just friendly.

• 49:49Pablo Torre?

  Was this X-Files era?

• 49:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:52Pablo Torre?

  So is this how you be... I mean, again, by the way, in the role you were literally born to play, Wayne Fetterman, at one point, finally, got to be Wayne Fetterman.

• 50:05Speaker 12

  You can answer your phone.

• 50:08Speaker 07

  Me?

• 50:08Speaker 12

  Yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 07

  I didn't want to be rude.

• 50:12Speaker 12

  So who the hell is this guy?

• 50:14Speaker 07

  Hello?

• 50:15Speaker 12

  This is Wayne Fetterman, he's an old buddy of mine from college. He's a writer out in Hollywood now, and he's working on an FBI-based movie. He's asked me to give him access.

• 50:22Speaker 17

  Screenwriter?

• 50:24Speaker 07

  It's actually, I was a writer slash producer.

• 50:26Speaker 12

  That's actually just a hindrance slash pain in the neck.

• 50:29Speaker 07

  Yo, yo, yo. Agent Mulder, I don't want to eat your lunch. I'm just here for some procedural flavor, just to taste.

• 50:36Pablo Torre?

  The premise of that is that you are shadowing...

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 50:40Pablo Torre?

  Mulder and Scully.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  Right, and Gary was in the episode.

• 50:43Pablo Torre?

  And Chandler plays Fox Mulder slash David Duchovny in the cinematic adaptation.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  As meta as you can get.

• 50:49Pablo Torre?

  But for that role...

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:51Pablo Torre?

  Did that come out of the pickup game?

• 50:54Speaker 04

  It was right before the pickup game. Duchovny knew me from stand-up, because he's a stand-up...

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Junkie, whatever. And so he knew my act and stuff like that. And then wrote the, wrote the part with me in mind. He wrote that, wrote and directed that episode.

• 51:10Pablo Torre?

  As Wayne Fetterman, the character name.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  And this is a little, he wrote it, faxed it to me. Literally faxed with the roly paper. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

• 51:21Pablo Torre?

  We did an episode dedicated to the fax machine, actually.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 51:25Pablo Torre?

  Because of the Michael Jordan, I'm back fax. We.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 51:28Pablo Torre?

  You're, you're, you're among, this is a home game for you at this point.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:32Pablo Torre?

  We're, we're getting everything you're putting down.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  Okay, so, um, so he faxed it to me and he was like, what, what do you think? Is this something you'd like to do? And of course, like I auditioned for the, yes, it's something I would like to do. What kind of question is that? Yes, be on the X-Files? Yeah, that is something I'd like to do. But then he goes, I'm gonna, you know, obviously I'm gonna change the name. I just wanted your voice in my head when I was writing it to get the rhythm of it. I was like, I'm gonna pitch that you don't change the name of it. Because it's already about some, you know, a thing within a thing, as you said before. And he was like, man, that's a good idea. You sure you don't have a problem with that? I go, no.

• 52:11Pablo Torre?

  And he's like, well, it is kind of like a, again, a, a craven guy who insinuates himself into lots of rooms in which he is not welcome and sort of puts his self-interest above everybody else's.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  But that, yes, sir. Yes.

• 52:26Pablo Torre?

  At the risk of being insulting.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:29Pablo Torre?

  Did you need to audition?

• 52:32Speaker 04

  I did, not for David, but for Chris Carter, I think is the guy. Please double check that room. Get to work. I think that was.

• 52:41Pablo Torre?

  Chris Carter is the, uh, yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 04

  Okay, thank you, thank you.

• 52:44Pablo Torre?

  He's the guy behind the X-Files.

• 52:46Speaker 04

  So I went in and there was, there was other Wayne Fetterman types in the room. And I said to myself, if I can't get the role of Wayne Fetterman, this might be time to reconsider.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  Can I ask you a que-- I know we're winding up, but like, I thought your-- this show was just about like, "Oh, what happened with the Lindbergh baby? We're gonna find out." "Oh, what--

• 53:27Pablo Torre?

  Kind of.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:28Pablo Torre?

  Kind of.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  It's like, so why am I on this show?

• 53:32Pablo Torre?

  I, I, I think that--

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Wayne wants to find out.

• 53:35Pablo Torre?

  I think that Wayne Federman has asked a question that everybody in our audience already has answered.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  Oh, okay, which is?

• 53:42Pablo Torre?

  Which is that Wayne Federman-- what I found out today is that Wayne Federman has lived a life that can only be described as that of a guy who climbed into the television, onto the screen, in a way that I'm not even sure Wayne Federman appreciates, frankly.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  That's correct, that's correct.

• 54:02Pablo Torre?

  Doesn't seem like you're as excited about you as I am.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  It's like, "Oh, I never got on Everybody Loves Raymond." Like, that's--

• 54:09Speaker 04

  That's--

• 54:10Pablo Torre?

  You want everybody to love Wayne Federman, and you are counting the missed field goals-- instead of all the makes.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  Maybe, maybe. I, I, I think of it more of, not everyone to love Wayne Federman, but just like, I wanna be like a great utility guy that can always be counted on.

• 54:29Pablo Torre?

  Well, I have good news for you.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 54:31Pablo Torre?

  You're a professor at University of Southern California.

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:34Pablo Torre?

  And you teach this class, and I went on the website, ratemyprofessors.com--

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 54:42Pablo Torre?

  And I'm proud to report that Wayne Federman gets five stars across the board. Quote, "Super funny guy in amusing class, very chill, and the easiest A ever." Final was literally graded off of completion.

• 54:59Speaker 04

  Yep. But the final-- they had to do a project before the final, so it's just--

• 55:03Pablo Torre?

  If you show up to class and do the assignments, you will get an A.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  What a-- is that an insult?

• 55:09Pablo Torre?

  It's a, it's a separate review. Here's another one. "If you need a Gen Ed A, look no further." And here's the quote, Wayne, that I want to leave you with. Because you said that you don't want everybody to love Professor Wayne Fetterman.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  I, did I say that?

• 55:25Pablo Torre?

  Quote. "We all love Mr. Fetterman. Take his class."

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is not helping, by the way. None of this, this run, this final, this.

• 55:39Pablo Torre?

  This good.

• 55:40Speaker 04

  Flurry, this flurry.

• 55:41Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 55:42Speaker 04

  This ta-da, this.

• 55:43Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, I am, I am waving a top hat in the air as I recite these screenshots.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  None of that is making me feel better, so I appreciate it.

• 55:51Pablo Torre?

  Well, I can't win them all.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  No, no, thank you for trying, thank you for trying, right? You gotta throw it out there.

• 55:57Pablo Torre?

  Wayne Fetterman, thank you for, for visiting.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  Fetterman and out.

• 56:03Pablo Torre?

  Well played.

• 56:12Pablo Torre?

  This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.

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