Rebuilding Trust | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Whether caused by a minor slip-up or a major rupture like infidelity or financial betrayal, every man will eventually face the grueling challenge of restoring broken trust. In this episode of Friday Field Notes, Ryan Michler outlines 12 non-negotiable principles for rebuilding trust when it's been shattered. Time alone won't fix your mistakes - only deliberate, sustained, and unselfish action will. Learn why explaining away your issues destroys credibility, how to stop keeping score during the process, and why true reform requires changing your character without demanding immediate validation. Tune in to discover how to own your failures, match your repair to the break, and lead with unwavering integrity. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 - Introduction & Recording From Maine 01:35 - 12 Steps to Rebuilding Broken Trust 02:00 - Rule 1: Time Doesn't Fix Trust, Action Does 02:40 - Rule 2: You Don't Decide When Trust Is Restored 04:40 - Rule 3: Explaining Isn't Owning 07:35 - Rule 4: Match the Repair to the Break 08:45 - Rule 5: Privacy Is Not a Privilege 11:15 - Rule 6: Consistency Beats Intensity 14:15 - Rule 7: Your Apology Has an Expiration Date 16:55 - Rule 8: Stop Asking for Trust 19:15 - Rule 9: Tolerate Being Tested 21:15 - Rule 10: Stop Keeping Score 22:50 - Rule 11: Fix the Rupture Where It Happened 25:30 - Rule 12: Accept That Some Trust Never Returns 29:50 - Order of Man War Room Call to Action Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! https://store.orderofman.com/products/order-of-man-annual-battle-planner Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto https://www.amazon.com/Masculinity-Manifesto-Establishes-Influence-Credibility/dp/1684513316/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1665048672&sr=8-1. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood https://orderofman.link/iron-council. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready https://orderofman.link/battle-ready-0

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The unpure motive is, I'm gonna change just long enough for you to get you to change your behavior so that you'll stick around, or rehire me, or keep me on, or love me again, or whatever you're after. Again, that's manipulation, and people can see right through that. They're so good at sniffing out manipulation. Well, my wife doesn't believe me. She just thinks I'm changing for just long enough for her to stay or come back. Right, because that's probably what you're doing.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  Hey, what's up, you guys? I know this Friday Field Notes is coming to you a little later than normal, and the audio and video quality is not where it normally is. That is my fault, and I'm sorry, because I thought I had recorded this episode before I came to Maine for Origin's Jiu-Jitsu Immersion Camp. Clearly, I did not, so I found this little room, a little bit of quiet, and wanted to make sure I got you your Friday Field Notes, even if it's a little bit late. I am looking forward to talking with you about this one, because it's a crucial topic, one that I've had to deal with personally, and one that every single man on the planet has had to deal with, to varying degrees of success. And part of the reason I think it makes sense is because what I'm doing here now is helping

• 1:14Speaker 00

  to facilitate and build the topic that I'm gonna be addressing with you today, which is how to rebuild trust when it's been broken. Now, me releasing a Friday Field Notes a little bit late, and not having the greatest audio quality ever could, doesn't really warrant a major infraction by any means, but it is important that we try to maintain the trust that we've spent years, if not decades of our life, building. So, today, what I'm gonna do is I'm going to share 12 tips that I have for you in rebuilding trust, whether it's with your spouse, your children, maybe a client, boss, colleague, coworker, friends, whoever it may be. And the beautiful thing is, regardless of who it is, the 12 steps that I'm gonna go

• 1:58Speaker 00

  through with you today, apply broadly and universally. So, let's just jump right into this, guys, because I know, I know, that we have all undermined our trust in some way with, with other individuals. It could be something as minor as forgetting to pick up milk on the way home, and you told your wife you would, to being unfaithful. You could have shortcutted or dropped the ball when it comes to a project at work. Maybe you didn't coordinate and communicate as effectively as you could with a client, or you raised your voice and lost your patience with your children. We've all done these things. That's not the most important thing.

• 2:41Speaker 00

  The most important thing is to remember, now, how do I rebuild and restore trust once it's been broken? So, like I said, we'll jump right into this today. Number one is, you have to understand, guys, that time does not rebuild trust. New behavior does. Okay? If you're thinking that, well, I did this, and so because I did this, it wasn't very severe, so I would say, in the next 30 days, trust should be restored. Waiting it out and just thinking that, that time is going to fix it is going to be a problem for you, because time doesn't fix it. It's like the age-old adage of men who are hurt, and they say, "Well, it'll go away." Will it? Will it go away, or will it get worse?

• 3:25Speaker 00

  In some cases, it might, but that becomes a problem down the road if you don't address it properly. Okay? Trust comes back through repeated action, not just enough days passing to warrant somebody, you know, now believing in you again. Okay? Number two is, you also don't get to decide when trust is restored. I can't tell you how often I talk with men, because we all have this control problem, it seems like, that we just think, "Well, you know, they, they should trust me now. My wife should trust me now, because I've done all these things, and I've changed my behavior, and I'm a good person, and I'm a good man, and now she needs to trust me."

• 4:09Speaker 00

  That's a problem. You want your agency, you want your sovereignty, you, you want to be able to make decisions on your own behalf, and I imagine the other people in our lives want to do the same. Now, look, we can influence people's behavior, we can influence rebuilding trust, but we can't control it. And there's a very, very important distinction. Influence is you acknowledging that you don't have control over another person. It's, it's, it's acknowledging that there's things that you can do to stack the odds in your favor, but you can't ultimately decide that they are going to restore trust, or,

• 4:52Speaker 00

  or believe that you're trustworthy. And that's hard to wrestle with, because we, we know how we're acting, we know how we're showing up, we know we've changed our behavior, but we don't get to decide when that trust is restored. They get to decide. Okay? And, and, and what I'm gonna talk to you about the other 10 steps today will help facilitate that, but I can't tell you that it guarantees it. Okay? Number three, explaining away your issues, or your problems, or whatever you did, your indiscretions, is not the same as owning the problem. I, I used to do this all the time with my ex-wife.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  I would do something, or a behavior, or something she didn't like, and then I would explain to her why I did the thing, as if she just knew why I did it, then it would be better. Now, in some cases, yes, explaining the intricacies and nuances is important, but in most of the cases, it's, it's not really all that important. You know you did wrong, she knows you did wrong, your client knows you did wrong, your kids know you did wrong, and so, does explaining it make it better? If the outcome was still the same, that you hurt the person you care about, or you took advantage of them, is, is the reason any different? Does it change it? For example, this might be a stretch, but, well, no, it's probably not a stretch, this

• 6:18Speaker 00

  is probably pretty accurate. Let's say that you're unfaithful to your wife. Does you saying, "Well, I'm not getting the love I have at home, or the respect I have at home, and so I found it elsewhere," an explanation, make it okay? No. Actually, it sounds worse, because it sounds dismissive of how she must be feeling if that's the case. What must she be experiencing and feeling, because you decided to step out when you agreed to be faithful? Guys, we need to own what we do, and owning is, I acknowledge that you're upset, I acknowledge that you're hurt, I, I would feel very much the same if I were in your shoes, and I'm sorry for that.

• 7:03Speaker 00

  I'm sorry that I did this thing, I'm sorry that I caused you to feel this way. Now, we're gonna get into apologies, in fact, I'll save it, but the way that we, the way that we apologize is also very interesting. Like, first of all, don't ever say, "I apologize," because who says that? Corporations that are trying to rebuild their client base. "We sincerely apologize that we have offended blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and we are educating ourselves, and learning more, and getting the facts, and, and really diving deep into the problems and the hurt that we've caused." Nobody believes that shit, because it's just not true.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  The language that human beings use for remorse is, "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I did this." "I'm sorry that I caused you to feel this way." "It pains me to know that I hurt you." That's the language people use. And, and by the way, it's never, "I'm sorry you feel that way," because that's also not an apology. That's dismissive of your behavior. So, let's get past the idea that we need to explain everything away and just own it. Here, here's what I did. I acknowledge what I did. I should not have done that. I am doing X, Y, and Z to make sure I don't do that again. And then, if there needs to be some level of explanation, because they ask for it, or it requires some nuance, that's one thing, but if you're just explaining it away, it

• 8:29Speaker 00

  just sounds defensive, it sounds dismissive, and it sounds weak. Number four, guys, you have to match the size of the repair to the size of the break. So, again, if, if your wife asks for you to get milk on the way home from work, and you forget it, because you're busy, or distracted, or just wanna get home, and she's like, "Hey, did you grab the milk?" And you're like, "Oh, man, I forgot." Just run down to the convenience store, get the milk, come back, problem solved. Unless it becomes a habitual problem. Okay? But if you're unfaithful, or you stole from your boss, or you wronged a client, and it cost them time and/or money, yeah, you're gonna need to do a little bit more than just run down to the store and grab some milk.

• 9:14Speaker 00

  It, it's gonna take a lot of time, it's gonna take a lot of energy, it's gonna take consistent effort for you to even have a chance at repairing the, the rupture. So, you have to match the size of the repair with the size of the, of the break. Number five, as you're rebuilding trust, guys, I want you to know that the transparency that you think you deserve or want in your life is not really optional at this point. You, you have to be transparent. You have to volunteer information that you don't necessarily want to. The, the privacy that you want in your life is not really a privilege that you get when you're trying to rebuild trust.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  Now, look, you don't have to disclose everything to everybody, just because you've rebuilt, or you're rebuilding trust with somebody, but if you've been unfaithful, yeah, having your wife have access to your phone is probably gonna be something that she would require. I, I would require it if the role was reversed, if my, the, the person in my life was, was unfaithful, in order for me to feel comfortable about even remotely considering staying in that relationship, yeah, I would need to have access to her, her phone. And people will say, "Well, that's controlling." You call it what you want, but that's what I would require for a repair.

• 10:40Speaker 00

  If you have a problem with pornography, and it's causing issues in your relationship, then access to your web history is probably gonna be a thing that your wife should have access to. If you messed up with your finances in your relationship, her having access to the bank accounts and the financial information is probably something that she, she should have. So it's very, very crucial, guys, that we be transparent, that we show people what we're doing. Now, look, we're not doing it so that we can gain notoriety or accolades or even approval, like somebody patting us on the head and saying, "Good boy." Because there's a temptation in doing that, too, right?

• 11:23Speaker 00

  It's like, "Look at all these things I'm doing. Look, look, I'm being good. I'm doing all the things you want to be. Here's the project I did. Here's the thing I did." That's what we call manipulation. You're not doing it for the right reason. You're doing it because you want somebody to behave a certain way, and that is the definition of manipulation. You're just doing something to get somebody else to do something. There's healthy forms of manipulation. You know, for example, if I'm a coach and I'm speaking boldly and confidently into my players, it's because I want them to perform better. We would all say that's healthy. But if I'm lying to people and deceiving people into believing something that's not true so I can get them to do something on my behalf,

• 12:06Speaker 00

  we would say that's an unhealthy form of manipulation. But you do have to be transparent. You do have to show your cards. But you're not doing it so that people will acknowledge. You're doing it or that you get praise or points. That's another thing people will do. You're doing it because it's the right thing to do, and the people in your life that you've hurt will want to see that. Okay, number six. Consistency beats intensity. Imagine with me for a second that you're 30 pounds overweight, and you think to yourself, "Man, I'm really gonna lose this weight." And so you wake up tomorrow morning and you decide, "I'm gonna go to the gym. This is gonna be a part of me losing weight." And so you go to the gym and you spend from 6:00 in the morning until 1:00 in the afternoon at the gym.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  And you're busting your butt, you're working hard, you're sweating. You're gonna lose weight. You're gonna burn calories, for sure. But then you're just gonna be gassed and exhausted for the rest of the week. Now, counter that with a guy who says, "Well, I'm gonna lose 30 pounds, and tomorrow I'm gonna go to the gym." Let's say it's Monday. I'm gonna go to the gym Monday for an hour. And he does his hour, hard work, goes back to work. Tuesday, hard work, does his hour, goes back to his day of life. Wednesday, an hour, Thursday, an hour, Friday, an hour, so on. And he does that for seven days in a row. Still, the seven hours of work. But I would argue that the guy who did one hour per day over seven days

• 13:31Speaker 00

  is gonna be significantly better off than the guy who did seven hours one day per week. Intensity versus consistency. Now, I know this is a bit of false dichotomy. You can have both. But if you're thinking the more intense you are, the quicker the result will come, actually, probably the opposite is true. That guy who works out for seven hours hard is probably gonna be tired. He might actually risk hurting himself and others around him, and he won't be able to sustain it. And then he'll be wishy-washy, right? It's like, "Oh, he said he was gonna go to the gym, and he went to the gym, and now he's not going to the gym anymore." See, I knew I couldn't rely on this guy. The other one who gets up and works out for an hour, then does his day,

• 14:16Speaker 00

  works out for an hour, then does his day, works out for an hour, then does his day, is a man who becomes reliable. He's less likely to be injured. He's less likely to quit because he's doing something that's sustainable, and people will begin to notice. Guys, consistency beats intensity. Number seven. The apology that you make, as long as it's a sincere apology. And again, it's not, "I apologize," it's, "I'm sorry." And it's not, "I'm sorry you feel that way," it's, "I'm sorry I did." Has an expiration date. You don't need to apologize forever, all the time, just indefinitely. Okay, you made a bad decision or a series of bad decisions. Own it. Don't explain it away.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  Apologize for it. "I am sorry I did this thing." And then change your behavior. And then, once your behavior is changed, you don't need to keep saying, "I'm sorry." Your changed behavior is the sorry. That's the sorry people want to see. When somebody mistreats me or takes advantage of me, I would expect, if they want to reconnect and rebuild a relationship, that they would say, "I'm sorry," and then they would become a new person, not on my behalf, but on their behalf. That is the motive. That is the purest motive for apologizing is that, or just rebuilding trust, is not so I can manipulate you or control you or change you to act a certain way.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  It's so that I become the type of man that I want to be. That's the purest motive. The unpure motive is, "I'm gonna change just long enough for you to get you to change your behavior so that you'll stick around or rehire me or keep me on or love me again or whatever you're after." Again, that's manipulation, and people can see right through that. They're so good at sniffing out manipulation. And so if you just change for a short period of time or you keep apologizing or you're seeking validation or keeping score, which is one of the things that we'll talk about here in a second, the people in your life will know, "Oh, this is not a changed man. This is not a repentant individual.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  This is a person who's just trying to change their behavior long enough for me to do what they want me to do." I mean, this is a story as old as time, and I hear it just about every week. "Well, my wife doesn't believe me. She just thinks I'm changing for just long enough for her to stay or come back." Right, because that's probably what you're doing. And I get the draw. I mean, when I went through my divorce, I did the same thing. I wanted her to stay, and I was willing to do just about anything morally, legally, ethically, to get her to do so. And part of that was apologizing profusely. Part of that was doing chores and things around the house

• 17:07Speaker 00

  or projects I committed to and just to get her to see that I was changed. But it's not how it works. Apologize and then change the behavior indefinitely. Which leads kind of into the next point, and this is point number eight. Trust rebuilds the fastest when you stop asking for it. Because if you're seeking validation or you're saying, "Hey, look at all the things I've done," or even in a covert contract, you have in your mind that if you do this for this period of time, then that person, like flipping a light switch on the wall at some point, they will trust you again. If you're waiting for or asking for them to trust you, "Why don't you just trust me?

• 17:52Speaker 00

  Look at all this work I've done for the past three weeks or three months or three years or whatever, and you still don't trust me?" That's a covert contract. And a covert contract is you believing that a person owes you something without you explaining to them what the terms of the agreement are. Right? Imagine if I had one of you, you men who listen to the podcast, and I just, in my head, believed that you owed me $1,000 because you listen to this podcast. And so I send you an invoice for $1,000. And you look at it, you're like, "Invoiced from Order of Man for $1,000? What is this?" Well, you probably wouldn't be very happy about that. But I wouldn't be very happy about it either

• 18:36Speaker 00

  because I believed that you owed me $1,000. You believed that we didn't, so who's right? Well, you are, because I never discussed that with you. We never agreed to the terms of the contract, and therefore, the contract is null and void. Okay, the same is true when you have this idea of what you need to do and how long you need to do it for without communicating to a person. Again, they have control over the apology, not you. So stop asking for it. Stop campaigning for it like a politician who just morphs and twists and distorts his words and his perspective based on who might be listening. That's manipulation. That's not principled. Principled is, "This is the kind of man I'm gonna be

• 19:19Speaker 00

  because this is the kind of man I am, not because I know it will guarantee me a certain outcome. Now, I have faith that through good behavior I will be rewarded in relationships, in business, in every aspect of my life. But I don't do it for that reason. That's a natural byproduct of me just engaging in good behavior."

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Okay, number nine, you have to tolerate being tested, even if subconsciously, without getting resentful about it, because people are going to test you. Your boss is going to give you a little test, just like, alright, you know what? I'm not going to fire him. I've lost some trust for Ryan, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna give him this little project. And I might be resentful and say, well, this is beneath me. You know, I was doing these big, big, huge contracts before, and now I'm doing these little projects. I feel silly, or I feel stupid, or I feel like this is beneath me. Or your wife might throw out a little test, and she might push on you. She might cop a little attitude with you and see if you freak out.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Or she might ask you to run down and get the milk at the grocery store and see if you remember. Some of that, a lot of that is subconscious, but that will happen. But here's the beautiful thing about being tested, and I want you to hear this and know this. If a person is still testing you, don't be upset about that. Take hope in that. It's when people go silent, it's when they become indifferent that you have a problem. But until that point, it's a beautiful thing that they're testing you because there's a glimmer of hope, and they're thinking, man, I hope he passed this test. I want him to pass this test, because I want him here in this relationship, or I want him here at this company. So if people are testing you, you can't get resentful, you can't get frustrated.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  It's like, God, why, why? I don't understand why. Why can't they? That's a problem. And then it's going to spill into your behavior, your behavior's going to change, it's probably going to revert back to what it was before, and then you're starting over at ground zero. Don't start over, especially when you build up the momentum. Okay, number 10, watch for the moment that you start keeping score. We talked a little bit about this. It's like, well, I, look at all this stuff I've done. You know, I, I've done all the projects around the house, I've had all these conversations with you, I haven't looked at pornography, or I've been clear and transparent about the finances, and I've done it for the past three weeks now. It's like, okay. And?

• 21:55Speaker 00

  Like, do you think the past three weeks of changed behavior is going to override the past three years of potentially horrible behavior? No, probably not. And again, it's manipulation, it's a covert contract. I just thought to myself, if I did this for four weeks, then she would love me again. That's not how it works. It doesn't work that way with you when people undermine trust with you. So why would it work the other way when you are undermined in your trust from their perspective? It doesn't. We're human beings, we're flawed, we have emotions, we, we don't always make good decisions,

• 22:35Speaker 00

  we're, we're tempted to behave poorly at times in our lives, and we're not always prudent. Now, I'm not saying just because somebody doesn't forgive you, they're not being prudent, but I am saying they have their own set of moral principles and codes that they live by, and they may not align with yours. So stop keeping score. The way that you do this is just doing what you know you need to be doing, because it's the right thing for you to do. Period. That's it. All right, number 11, trust broken in one aspect of your life doesn't, doesn't heal in another. So I'll give you an example. I'm here at jujitsu camp with Origin for the week, and let's say I break my leg.

• 23:20Speaker 00

  It's a compound fracture, my bone's sticking out of my leg, I run into the hospital, or drive to the hospital, probably don't run, but drive, get myself driven to the hospital, I should say. And I go in, and the ER doc is like, what seems to be the problem? Like, well, doc, look at my leg, my bone's sticking out of my leg, I think it's broken. And I'm like, hmm, yeah, definitely is broken, but let's go ahead and see how your shoulder's doing. So, what are you talking about? And then they start working on your shoulder and giving you a massage, or doing physical therapy, or give you a referral for, for physical therapy on your shoulder. That has nothing to do with what I need right now. I need to, to set, potentially do surgery, and to set the bone, and then I need to put a cast on my leg.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  Guys, when, and here's how we would do that in a real world scenario. Let's say you've been unfaithful to your wife, or, or maybe you lose your patience with your kids, or maybe you don't show up fully and present at home, or you've missed games. Pick your scenario. This happens a lot with men in the family dynamic, is they, is they aren't fully present at home, but they think that because they're present at work, that it overrides being absent at home. Well, I don't understand why they're mad. I work hard, I make money, I pay for their schooling, I pay for their extracurricular activities, I put a roof over our head, I provide the bill for the groceries, and so, and they're mad at me because I didn't show up at a game?

• 24:47Speaker 00

  Or my wife's mad at me because I got home and I just sit my butt on the couch and don't engage with her in any way, or the family? What's the problem? I don't get it. Really? You don't understand that she and your children need you at home just as much as you feel the desire to be at work? And look, I get the pull, it's like, I can't be at home all the time, because I'm also working so that my kids and my wife have these things. I get the logic behind it, but it doesn't compute the same way on the other side. If you want to rebuild trust at home, that needs to take place at home. You can't just say, like, oh, I need to rebuild trust with my family, they, they say I'm not present, so I'm going to work harder.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  It sounds silly, because it is, but that's what we do. If your wife says you're not present at home, you need to be engaged at home, I want you here, I care about you, I love you, the kids want you here, you need to be involved with us, then that's where you solve the problem, at home, not at work. Focus on where the problem is, fix it in that domain. And guys, the last thing I want you to know, and this is going to be hard to hear, but it's also a very cathartic moment, if you embrace this, is some trust just never comes back, and you have to make peace with that. Some trust never comes back, because again, you don't get to decide. You can stack the odds in your favor, you can influence people, you can't control them, and some trust will never come back.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  And there's two reasons it's important to know this, two reasons. Number one, is that if you know that some trust doesn't come back, then you're free to change your behavior with the correct, underlying motive for doing so. For example, would you still go to the gym if you knew you weren't going to lose any weight this week? If the answer is yes, then it's because you believe that going to the gym is just a healthy lifestyle to have. Would you still be faithful to your wife if you knew that you would never get caught? If the answer is yes, I would still be faithful, then you know your motive is pure, because

• 26:56Speaker 00

  you're going to be a good person, because that's who you agreed to be. But if your behavior would change, based on whether or not a person acknowledged it, then your motive is not pure, it's manipulative, right? I'm only engaged in this behavior because I think it will win her back. I'm only engaged in this behavior because it will keep me from getting fired. That's an inferior motive, but it's also an inferior way to live your life, because you're not convicted and as bought in, as if somebody, as if it were somebody who said, I do this because it's the right thing to do. And the other reason that this, this concept of trust never coming back is so important

• 27:40Speaker 00

  is because hopefully, you can keep this at the forefront of your mind, and it will actually cause you to think differently before you make dumb decisions. Like, if I engage in this behavior, then I may potentially lose my wife, or my children, or my job forever, and it's never coming back. And that might just be enough fuel for you to do something differently. This is a hard one, guys. Rebuilding trust is tough, and it's painful, and it's frustrating, and it's time-consuming, and it's gut-wrenching, and you're having to deal with all of the consequences, even potentially on your own. So it's brutal, but it's crucial. And I know you want to, but it's like, how do you do it properly?

• 28:25Speaker 00

  This is how. So let's recap. Number one, time doesn't rebuild trust. Number two, you don't get to decide when trust is restored. Number three, explaining isn't the same thing as owning it. Four is to match the size of the repair to the size of the break. And again, I'm not going to put a Band-Aid on a fractured leg, it's probably not going to do much. Number five, transparency isn't optional as you're rebuilding. Number six, consistency beats intensity. Number seven, the apology that you make has an expiration date. You don't need to keep apologizing, just change your behavior. Number eight, trust rebuilds fastest when you stop asking for it.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  Number nine, you have to tolerate being tested without getting resentful. Number 10 is watch for the moment you start keeping score. Be careful of keeping score. Number 11, if you break trust in one area of your life, you can't heal it by doing better in another area. You have to meet the problem where it is. And number 12 is some trust just never comes back, and you got to make peace with that. And if you do, you're more likely to not break trust in the future, and more likely to engage in the right activity for the right reasons. Guys, I hope that helps today. Again, I apologize, remember, we don't say apologize, we say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the audio quality today.

• 29:52Speaker 00

  I'm going to do better at that, and make sure I get my stuff recorded before, before I go on a trip. And if you're catching this on YouTube, which I highly recommend you do not watch this on YouTube, because the backdrop is not nearly as cool as the backdrop at my house, but I do hope it gives you some insight and idea into how to rebuild trust. This is one that gets brought up all the time. And if you follow these 12 steps, I can't guarantee you will rebuild the trust, but I can guarantee you give yourself the best chance to do so. All right, guys, make sure you check, I'm just going to pull up my calendar here real quick. We've got a War Room. We're talking about being the enforcer, the rescuer, or the anchor. And this is specifically as it relates to leadership.

• 30:36Speaker 00

  So if you're trying to enforce, or if you're trying to rescue people from themselves, those are going to be inferior to being the anchor in people's lives, that they can build their own leadership, or organizations, or family unit around. So this is a free thing that we do, we do it every single month. This one's going to be held on September 16th at 8:00 PM Eastern. If you go to orderofman.com/warroom, that's orderofman.com/warroom, you can check it out and register, and then we'll see you on September 16th at 8:00 PM Eastern. Guys, that's all I've got for you today. If you have any questions, thoughts, ideas, considerations, potential podcast guests, reach out to me, connect with me, hit me up on Instagram, very active over there, and

• 31:20Speaker 00

  or YouTube, and we'll plan on being here next week for our interview. Until then, go out there, take action, rebuild trust, and become the man you are meant to be.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Thank you for listening to the Order of Man Podcast. You ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you are meant to be? We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.