Lala Anthony: ON How To Get In Touch With Yourself, Disconnect, and Gain Clarity

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Lala Anthony. Lala is a TV personality, New York Times best-selling author, businesswoman, producer and actress. We dove into her incredible work ethic that led to her immense success in the media. She also shares what she does to get in touch with herself, unplug and gain clarity when she needs it most. We also discussed love and relationships and how to manage your expectations in a world where people are only posting their highlights online. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:29Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:16Jay Shetty?

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• 3:00Jay Shetty?

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• 3:09Speaker 01

  We give up a little bit too fast, or as soon as it gets hard, that's when we're like, okay, I'm done, I can't do this. And, and I think some of the best things come right after fear, or right after, you know, those hard moments, that's when you finally get your breakthroughs. But some of us never get to see that because we stop too early.

• 3:32Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast for self, work, and love. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful that you take time out of your days, evenings, wherever you are, to invest in yourself and personal growth. This is On Purpose, you're in the right place. And today's guest is someone that I can't wait to talk to. I'm always fascinated by people's meaningful experiences, unique perspectives and backgrounds, and today's guest will not disappoint. Today's guest is absolutely incredible. I'm excited to hear about her perspectives and viewpoints on a few things that you'll really want to find out about too. And her background is phenomenal. She's an American TV personality, she's a New York Times bestselling author, she's

• 4:17Jay Shetty?

  an executive producer, a businesswoman, and an actress. Her name is Lala Anthony. Lala, thank you so much.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  I am so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

• 4:27Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no, thank you.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  This is exciting.

• 4:29Jay Shetty?

  I know, and I'm so grateful because we literally got introduced to each other recently.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 4:33Jay Shetty?

  And we're making this happen already.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  I know, but I feel like we've known each other forever. We're just like, hey, it's a great connection and a great feeling, and I'm happy to be here.

• 4:40Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely, and I'm just warning the audience, we were just about to get under a cover of

• 4:44Speaker 01

  I know, exactly.

• 4:45Jay Shetty?

  Because it's very zen in this room.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  It's so zen in here, it's so zen. I was like, I just need a robe and a blanket.

• 4:51Jay Shetty?

  I love it, we'll arrange for it afterwards.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Okay, perfect.

• 4:53Jay Shetty?

  If you have time. But you're on a busy schedule right now.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:56Jay Shetty?

  You've been around promoting Power, sharing the word of Power. Let's start with that, tell us a bit about that.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  So Power, I've been on the show for six seasons and season six is premiering in August, so we made a big announcement today on Good Morning America, that it premieres in August. It's also the final season of Power, which people are disappointed about. I know, I feel the same way. So you know this season is gonna be just a roller coaster ride, which is what Power is. It never disappoints and our fans are super excited and we're excited, you know, for the final season and just to kind of see where it takes all the characters and stuff.

• 5:30Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Well, that's what's happening today. I want to go all the way back to the beginning of you when you were 15. And you get this break at Hot 97.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 5:40Jay Shetty?

  In Atlanta. Tell me about why that experience was so meaningful to you and how that was such a great start for you.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  So it started because I've always just loved music and I've loved hip hop music from before I could remember. And at 15, I remember hearing that the Wu-Tang Clan, they were opening up a clothing store in Atlanta and I had just moved to Atlanta. And I was like, oh, I gotta go see the Wu-Tang Clan, like, I gotta get there. You know, in line like everybody else, waiting, excited. And I saw these people like putting up posters and giving out flyers and I was like, what do you guys do? And they were like, oh, we're interns for a radio station. And I was like, that's a cool job, I would do something like that. And they were like, well, here's the guy's number, you have to like call or email or something. So I ended up emailing and he told me that

• 6:28Speaker 01

  you had to be 18 to get the job. So I went back to the hood, got a fake ID, said I was 18 and got the job as an intern. And that's kind of what started my career in radio, TV, acting, producing film. But it all started with, you know, my love of music, my love of hip hop. So I'm always just so gracious to. Music in general, because that's how my career started.

• 6:56Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Kids, go get a fake ID if you're too young to get a job. No, I love that, but sometimes what it takes is just that passion, that persistence. You weren't gonna take no for an answer.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  I wasn't gonna take no for an answer. I wasn't gonna let two or three years get in my way. So I was like, no, I'm doing this. And it worked. And eventually I was honest and told the truth. But by then I had proven myself as a hard worker and dedicated and, you know, secured the job. And also at that time at the radio station, Ludacris was an intern as well. He was going by the name of Chris Lover Lover. And he had been there, you know, a bit before me. And we hit it off and we started a radio show together. But it's incredible when I sit back now and just see how far his journey has come. And then along with mine, like, he used to just talk about, I'm gonna be this famous rapper one day. People are gonna buy my album. I'm gonna be an actor. I'm gonna do all these things.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  And to actually see how you can manifest something just by believing it and saying it, and then it really happens, is just such a fascinating thing to watch.

• 7:57Jay Shetty?

  I love that. And what's the difference that you've seen now that you're saying tracking your career, even Ludacris, who you worked with? What have you seen is the difference between people saying things are going to happen and then actually making them come true, whether it's manifestation or belief? What has been the difference? Because I'm sure you've heard a lot of people say stuff too, and it didn't happen for them.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  I mean, I definitely think a lot of it is the work. You know, putting in the work. It's really easy to just say, okay, I want to do this. But there's so much work behind it and there's so many people or things that will get in the way of you becoming whatever. And a lot of us get so discouraged. Like, by the time the third door is closed in your face, you're like, you know what? I give up, or maybe this is not it. And a lot of it is, you know, timing and, you know, things just kind of falling in place. For me, it's definitely a strong belief in God. And it's about being blessed, because I know none of this would happen without any of that. So, you know, things just started kind of clicking. But I think with some people, we give up a little bit too fast. Or as soon as it gets hard, that's when we're like, okay, I'm done. I can't do this.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  And I think some of the best things come right after fear or right after, you know, those hard moments. That's when you finally get your breakthroughs. But some of us never get to see that because we stop too early.

• 9:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you're so right. Most of us stop to it.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so.

• 9:14Jay Shetty?

  You're so right. Whether it's that third door, fourth door, you never know if it's gonna be the seventh or the seventieth. But you gotta keep going. What's been the fuel in your life that's like kept you pushing in those moments?

• 9:24Speaker 01

  So I'm super competitive, so I'm just like, oh, no one's gonna tell me no. I'm gonna do this no matter what. And I have felt the way we just talked about when it comes to my acting career. Because for so long, it's like, okay, Lala from MTV, or Lala, the radio host. And when I wanted to transition into acting, I just felt like I wasn't being taken seriously because I was looked at at all these other things. And I always talk to people about not allowing yourself to be put in a box. Because people would love to put you in a box. Okay, you're, you know, the host of this. That's all you can do. You're on the radio. That's all you can do. And I'm like, I don't understand that. Like, I'm in acting class. I'm taking it seriously. I have a passion for it. Why can't I do that as well? And so, you know, it's all about breaking barriers.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  And to this day, I still have to do that because I'm still Lala from MTV. I'm still Lala, the radio host. I'm still Lala with all these other things behind my name. And I just wanna be looked at as Lala, the actress who does an incredible job on, you know, the show Power and other things I've done and continue to grow from there.

• 10:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I love that. That's such practical advice for people today. Because whatever our boxes are, everyone has them.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:31Jay Shetty?

  Everyone has them. And whether it's boxes from your past, or from even something like, at one point, it felt like your biggest break, but then it becomes your box.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  It's so, that is, that is true. And that's how I felt with MTV. Like, I have such a respect for MTV, and it did so much for my career. And at that point, I was like, I'm an MTV VJ. Like, when I was a VJ, I was, you know, 19 years old, and that's what everyone wanted to do. That was when they were like searching the whole country to hire a VJ, and I became one. And I remember it being like the biggest thing. And then as I was exiting from MTV, it became the box. Because then it was just like, you're a VJ. That's all you can do. You can do nothing else. And I just had to continue to fight through that, and I'm glad that I didn't give up. Because there were many times where I was like, started believing, well, maybe that is all that I can do.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  And maybe after MTV, that was it. Like, I reached my peak, and it was great, and that's all that's in store for me. But I had to believe that there was more and kinda push through that.

• 11:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love that. I personally find that so inspiring, especially because you've done it.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:33Jay Shetty?

  Like now, when I'm hearing you say it and you've done that.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:35Jay Shetty?

  You've broken out and, you know, I was sharing earlier, you've been a New York Times bestselling author. Like, you've written two books.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:42Jay Shetty?

  Two, right?

• 11:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:43Jay Shetty?

  Two huge books. You've been out there. You're an actress. You're an executive producer now. Like, I feel like you've really done that. And so for anyone who's listening right now, just don't buy into the box.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Don't buy into the box.

• 11:54Jay Shetty?

  Don't buy into the box that people keep putting you into.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Don't buy into the box. I'm always talking about that. And it's so important. You can do more than one thing and actually be great at it. Like, who's to say you can only do this and only do that? Like, there's no such thing. And there's no rules in life. There's just no rules to any of this. We make our own rules. And that's what we have to continue to remind ourselves of.

• 12:15Jay Shetty?

  Did you find, though, that when you were doing that and building it, you were like mastering one thing and then building the next? Is that kind of how it went?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  For me, I would find like, I always said, when it started feeling like a job, I knew I was ready for the next thing. When it started feeling like, ah, okay, I gotta do this again today, and I wasn't enjoying it as much, that was my trigger to say, okay, well, what's next? So for me, starting in radio, okay, what's next? TV, that seems like the transition. Okay, now I'm on TV. I'm a host. What's next? Okay, acting, that seems like the next transition. Okay, what's next? Producing, writing, you know, whatever. So I would just know when it started feeling like a job and I was losing my excitement for it. So now I'm in a place where I'm super excited about acting. I'm super excited about producing and my clothing line and, you know, writing another book and creating my own content.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  So that's what all my energy is going into.

• 13:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  You know, right now.

• 13:11Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Is this part of your clothing line?

• 13:13Speaker 01

  No, I wish it was. It's a denim clothing line that's available pretty much everywhere. So shout out to everybody that supports that. We're doing really well in the denim space.

• 13:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. No, I love that. I think that's such a powerful lesson to share because I think so many of us have passions, have desires, and we're like, oh, but I haven't studied that, or I never learned that, or I don't know anyone who's done that. And so when people see like people like yourself, then they can break out.

• 13:39Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 14:22Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

• 15:05Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. But tell me one life lesson or career tip that you learned from each industry. Because I think there are very few people in the world that you can sit with who've done

• 15:48Jay Shetty?

  a lot of different things successfully and at a high level. So tell me one thing that you learned from, let's say, radio. Let's start there. What was one thing that radio taught you?

• 15:56Speaker 01

  So, radio taught me to be confident in my personality because, radio, no one sees you. So, you have to lead with your personality, which is your voice and what you're talking about. You have to draw people in with that. There's no antics of, "Let me show my face, let me do this." This was before, you know, podcasts that are being recorded and all this stuff. You were just in a radio station and people didn't have a clue how you looked. So it was all about what you were projecting on those airwaves and how you draw them in. And that's where I think I gained my confidence in believing in myself and feeling like my personality was enough because that's what was driving people to listen to my show. So that's what I learned from radio.

• 16:34Jay Shetty?

  Okay, awesome. Tell us what you learned from being an actress.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  From being an actress, I just learned that you can't fake it. Like, you have to really take it seriously. And I'm still in classes and, you know, I'm always asking questions about acting and learning more. An actor's job is never done. Like, you never know everything. And in probably in most things, but like in radio, I got to a point where I knew a lot. I knew how to work the board, I knew how to do the breaks. I kind of had it all figured out. There wasn't too much that I couldn't do. But in acting, every character is different. So you never get to a point where you're like, "Oh, I've mastered this thing, I can do it all." I mean, even my character on Power changes so much that it becomes so challenging for me to go through all her transitions and changes. So, you have to be disciplined, you have to take it seriously, and an actor's work is never done.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm in acting class with some amazing actors that you're like, "You don't need to be in acting class." And it's like, no, you constantly have to work on your craft and sharpen your skill. And that's what I learned for acting. It's definitely been the tougher of my career choices.

• 17:36Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. No, it doesn't sound easy at all. And this one's gonna be interesting because I'm writing my first book right now.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:42Jay Shetty?

  So I was gonna ask you, what did you learn from writing two big books?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  So I would definitely say the books, I learned that the books became like therapy for me. It became my own therapy session because I was able to just talk about feelings and emotions that maybe I had never talked about before, things that I had kept bottled in before. And I felt like during the process of writing the book, it became very therapeutic to me. It became like a therapy session and I wasn't afraid to share with the world. And it worked, it worked, you know? People really seemed to like the books, but I think for anyone writing a book and including yourself, people appreciate honesty, they appreciate authenticity, they appreciate that we all have flaws. Like, none of us are perfect and I didn't want to paint this perfect picture because I'm not perfect. And I think people really related to that.

• 18:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I love that about you. I've really loved that when we were prepping for this interview and my team and I were getting together. One of the things I do love about you is that you're so raw and open and authentic. And even today, when you walked into the room, like I felt your energy. I was like, this is so nice, you know? When you're meeting someone for the first time, even though you do feel like, I feel like I've known you too.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:49Jay Shetty?

  But it's like, that's such a comforting feeling and I think you really give that to people. And you give that to people through all your work.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 18:54Jay Shetty?

  Even when I see you in movies, I'm like, oh, she could be my friend.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you, thank you.

• 18:58Jay Shetty?

  You know, you're a friend of the main character, then you're like, you know, I'm just like, oh, she could be my friend. And that's, I think that's a very, that's a very unique talent.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  I appreciate you saying that and I do appreciate that. And I've found that in this industry and in this world, like, people want to work with people that they like. People want to work with people that are nice and sometimes we forget that. Like, I can get a job over someone who might be way more talented than me because I'm going to be nice to work with. People are going to want to come to work and work with me. So for people out there listening, you know, it's just such a small thing, but kindness really does go a long way and kindness can be that deciding factor that sets you apart from somebody else. So I try to never forget that.

• 19:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. So when you, I'm bringing this up in context. You were 15, you were at Hot 97, which is an amazing place. When I was 15, I was a paper boy. So I used to go deliver papers around. So I used to live five streets in my area. I used to put my headphones on and the only person I'd listen to at that time was 50 Cent.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 19:56Jay Shetty?

  And so, yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  I just left him. He was at Good Morning America with us.

• 19:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and so I'd put the headphones on and it was the Get Rich or Die Trying album. And I would sit there and I would know every word and I would go and deliver my papers, listening, listening to 50 Cent. What's he like to work with?

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Oh, he's amazing. I've known him since the radio and MTV days. So this is a Woo, you're talking almost a 15-year relationship now, you know, of knowing each other. And he's so talented. I knew about the show before it came into existence. And he talked about it and how big it was gonna be. And everything he said came to fruition. And that's another example of speaking it, believing it, and doing the hard work behind it and seeing it happen. So I'm always super grateful to him for believing in me and giving me an opportunity because it's been great. It's been really great.

• 20:43Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. It's so nice for us to see, you know, powerhouses coming together, people collaborating. I think it's such an important message for people everywhere.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:52Jay Shetty?

  When they see people coming together, doing things together, rather than like we're all on our own islands and our own towers.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:57Jay Shetty?

  And we don't kind of see each other.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:59Jay Shetty?

  You know, to see that, I think is such a powerful message.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  No, it definitely is. And I think, you know, that kind of energy feeds off each other. Because when you're around someone that's powerful or successful, like it motivates you and you want to go harder. So I like to surround myself with people like that, that keep me motivated. And I never feel like I'm doing enough, even though I barely sleep. I slept two hours last night. I just am constantly moving. You know, I'm also a mom and that takes precedence over everything. But I love just being around people that motivate me to continue to be better.

• 21:29Jay Shetty?

  I love that. How have you done that? You brought that up and I want to dive into that. How have you done that? You've continually evolved your career, you're learning, you're going to acting classes, and you're a mother. How have you done that? Because I get a lot of parents listening to the podcast.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:43Jay Shetty?

  A lot of people asking, hey, how do I balance my passion and my purpose and my side hustle and all this kind of stuff? So what are your thoughts on that?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  So I get asked that question a lot. And I think for me, you know, I've been blessed to have a great family structure that can help me, you know, be able to do a multiple, do multiple different things. But my son is always and will always be my top priority. So I think you have to prioritize, like, you know, what's important. And I realize that we can't just do it all at one time. So I've gotten good at like, okay, this week, this is my, outside of Cayenne, my son, this is my priority. I'm gonna focus on the clothing line stuff, or I'm gonna focus on power, I'm gonna focus. Like, I just have to prioritize because there's so much going on. If I'm like trying to do it all in one day. I just don't feel like I do the best job at any of it. So I think prioritizing is like the first step.

• 22:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, spot on. Yeah, you can have it all, just not all at the same time.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  That is very true, and I've always believed that. And as far as balance is concerned, balance is a funny thing because I feel like balance changes and at different points, something is losing out. So if I'm super, super about the career and that, you know, maybe it's a little less time with Cayenne. If I'm all about Cayenne, then it's less time with the career. So some things, it's like a constant tug of war, but you find a way to figure it out.

• 22:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I think we put too much pressure on ourselves.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, we do.

• 23:01Jay Shetty?

  Because we're like, oh, my God, everything's gonna be equal this week. I've got to spend equal amount of time on this and my kid and my project and the clothing line.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:10Jay Shetty?

  And you're gonna fail at that.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  You're gonna fail. And I think we also put ourselves on these timelines. Like, okay, by, it could be even an age timeline. By, you know, 30, I should be married with two kids and own a house and this. And by 35, I should have this. And then when you're looking and maybe life isn't panning out that way, all of a sudden you feel like a failure. You feel like you haven't, you know, met these timelines. And I think, you know, we cannot put those pressures on ourselves. I mean, people have started careers way later in life. Now people are starting families way later in life. You know, people are getting married later in life and marriage isn't even a priority to a lot of people anymore. It's more about, you know, career and being independent and different things. So you just kind of gotta do what's best for you and don't feel like it's a timeline you have to put yourself on or a checkbox.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Okay, 20, I did this. 25, this. 30, this. You just kind of gotta just let it flow and everybody moves at a different pace.

• 24:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's again, not buying into the boxes.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 24:03Jay Shetty?

  It's just another type of box.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 24:05Jay Shetty?

  And those pressures are the worst because you're forcing yourself to make big decisions based on a timeline that some random person invented, right?

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 24:15Jay Shetty?

  You're forcing yourself to make the biggest decisions of life. Career decisions, love decisions, having children decisions.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  And the world has changed over, the world continues to change over the years. So a timeline that might have made sense 10 years ago now doesn't make sense. We have social media now. We have different access to different things. So people are just moving differently than even 10 years ago, even five years ago. So it constantly changes. So these timelines are so out of date to me now. Like, you just gotta kind of, again, I think it's important to encourage people to move at their own pace.

• 24:47Jay Shetty?

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• 25:32Jay Shetty?

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• 26:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:06Jay Shetty?

  Because I see so many people struggling with relationships. Partly that's because we only post the best stuff. We only post the stuff that looks nice. And therefore, when we look at everyone else on Instagram, it looks like everyone's in love.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Everyone's having the best time.

• 26:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I'm the only one that's like in a fucked up situation. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's how we feel. Like, we feel like, oh, I'm the only one who's like struggling or not in love or not with someone, or whatever it may be. What are some of the biggest relationship lessons that you've learned that you think are really important for people to hear?

• 26:34Speaker 01

  I think that, you know, you have to focus on your own relationship and not worry about what everyone's doing. And if you don't have a relationship, that doesn't mean you're less of a person. It just means you're focusing on something else. And I feel like everything happens when it does. And that's why they say "doing it for the gram". Everything on the gram looks picture-perfect and spectacular. You got filters, you got Facetune, you got this, you got... That everyone's just like stepping out of Vogue magazine at Instagram like it's not real life. You know Instagram is to showcase for most people, you know, your best moments. For me, I I I show a little bit of everything, but people want to showcase their showcase their best moments. And it's not real, so you can't compare to that. And only you know what's going on in your relationship and your situation.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  I think that's what matters and as long as you're happy, that's ultimately what matters. Now, if you're not happy, it shouldn't be based on what everyone else is doing. It should be based on what's going on in your relationship. And if you're not happy, then that's something for you to figure out. But one way to easily not be happy is to be constantly comparing yourself to another relationship that you see on Instagram. And you don't even know what's going on. It takes one second to smile for a picture or put your arm around me, Jay. Let's act like we're so in love. And as soon as they say stuff like, I hate you. Like you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. So never compare yourself or feel like, you know, I have a lot of friends too that will tell their partners like, I wish you were more like so and so, or I wish you acted more like so and so based on a social media picture. Or, you know, just what they see on Instagram.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  I think that's a little unfair and I'm not saying everyone's unhappy. You do have people that are in amazing relationships and posting and just living this blissful life. And, you know, more power to them, but that's not across the board. That's not everybody.

• 28:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, I think that's a great principle, never to compare what you have going on to anyone else. Because you don't even know the story.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 28:22Jay Shetty?

  You're only seeing 1% of it.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 28:24Jay Shetty?

  So there's no point of starting there, absolutely. And another thing that I get a lot of my audience reaching out about is breakups. So many people going through breaks, breakups. It's kind of like they feel like it consumes their whole life. We've all been through breakups. Like, what are your thoughts around that? When people are going through a breakup, so what have you seen as the best lessons for healing and moving forward?

• 28:42Speaker 01

  I think, you know, breakups are always tough when you're, you love somebody, you give somebody your heart and it doesn't work out. But I'm always an avid believer that, you know, everything happens for a reason. And while it's going on, it doesn't make sense. But how many times have we looked back later and say, oh, that's why that happened? Or I wouldn't have been here if that didn't happen. I wouldn't have met this person if that didn't happen. Like you have to believe that things work out the way they're supposed to. And for me, the best way to deal with that is, you know, I keep myself busy, you know, dive into something else, whether it's your children or work or your passion and just keep good energy around you and that'll help you kind of get through. But sitting around alone or moping or like the world is coming to

• 29:24Speaker 01

  an end, that's not gonna help. I'm always like, stay busy, stay active, you know, just start doing, just start doing a lot of shit, just start going because that's the best way to keep your mind busy and ultimately you'll start seeing that every day it gets like a little bit easier.

• 29:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, and I think you're right. I think when you're dealing with something and you get active about it and you don't just sit there and like overthink and procrastinate and then just overanalyze.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:49Jay Shetty?

  You start moving and then things start coming up.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  It's so true.

• 29:51Jay Shetty?

  And then you just have more momentum to deal with them. Rather than if you just sit there, you can just literally feel like everything is closing in on you.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  You definitely can, you definitely can. So I would definitely say, you know, stay moving and in the end, it all somehow makes sense. And again, when you look back, you're like, oh, that's why that happened or that's why that didn't work out. I felt like, I mean, I've had breakups where I was like, this is the end. Like, I won't be able to wake up after this. Like, my life is over after this. And now looking back, it's like, I see why it happened that way. And maybe I wouldn't be where I am now if I stayed in certain situations that, you know, were holding me back for whatever reason. So it all works out in the end. It definitely does.

• 30:32Jay Shetty?

  I, I get a real like, when I'm, when I'm around you today, I'm getting a bit of like a spiritual frequency. It's like you're operating on a, some.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Well, I will say, Jay, you'll like this. I just got back from Hippocrates in West Palm Beach, which is like a spiritual meditation center. So I went there for a week. I try to do that or an ashram every week. So I'm kind of.

• 30:52Jay Shetty?

  Every week?

• 30:52Speaker 01

  No, every year, every year. So I'm kind of fresh off that. And I just, you're probably feeling a lot of that because Hippocrates is all about like mental clarity and spiritual clarity and just kind of unplugging and getting in touch with yourself. And I think in this industry, it's just go, go, go, that it's nice to like not be on the phone, not be on Instagram and just really work on you. So I was there for a week and I always find it to be life-changing and kind of set me, set me on the path for what the rest of the year is gonna look like.

• 31:21Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. What clarity did you gain from that? What was it that stayed, that stayed with you so far? I know it's only been a week.

• 31:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it definitely stays with me every time I do it is that like, you're not missing anything. You know, when you're not on Instagram or answering every email, like. The world is still standing. Everything's okay. Like, you're not missing anything. Okay, you might not know who wore what yesterday, but does that really matter in the big scheme of things? So it allows you to appreciate more of the moments of just sitting outside and breathing the air, looking at trees, you know, sitting and having conversations with people. How often do people even talk anymore? We were at dinner last night and we were literally like, "Put your phones down because everyone's just on their phone and no one's enjoying each other or having conversations." So at Hippocrates, you're forced to do that and you're also forced to mingle with people that in your life you may have never crossed paths

• 32:11Speaker 01

  with, people from all over the world, people dealing with illnesses from, you know, cancer to addictions, to all kinds of things. And you're sitting there and you're realizing that everyone is so similar and dealing with so many of the same things. So I was just inspired by a lot of those relationships and conversations that I had there. And I really felt like I made friends there that I'll have for the rest of my life.

• 32:33Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, I did the same thing. So I don't know if I've told you before, if you knew that I lived as a monk for three years.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Okay, I didn't know that.

• 32:40Jay Shetty?

  So I actually go back to India to live as a monk every year for 21 days again. So I did it for three years when I was 22 to 25. And then now every single year I go back for 21 days to an ashram.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  So when is your next?

• 32:51Jay Shetty?

  January, usually every January to start my year. And then it's the same thing. It's like I go away for three weeks and my team's like, "Are you sure you want to go away for three weeks? Like, what's gonna happen?" I'm like, "No, trust me." Like, this, my spiritual conviction is so high that if this commitment goes well and correctly, then everything else will fall into place. If you don't get this foundation right, everything else will fall apart.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  And another thing, you'll always find that it never feels like the right time. You can always talk yourself out of it. It's another podcast, another movie, another this. And it's like, now's not the right time. But if you don't put your foot down and make it the right time, it's never gonna be the right time because I can always find more work to do. I can always find more to put on Kaiyan's schedule. I can always find more. But I had to just stop and say, "I'm taking this week for myself to unplug and just do what I need to do." And I even felt like a week wasn't even enough. Usually at Hippocrates, it's the same thing. It's a three-week program. I couldn't do the three weeks. Weeks, but when I was there, I could see how people easily do the three weeks. Like you feel like you need that.

• 33:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And whenever I, whenever I've done that, I've always realized that even if I've missed out on big things, when I come back, better things come to me.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 34:00Jay Shetty?

  And I've noticed that every time, and I'm not just saying that as a cliche, it's real, like.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:04Jay Shetty?

  Every time I go there, I make that commitment. I know I'm missing out on a few things, but as soon as I come back, better doors open up.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 34:09Jay Shetty?

  And yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  That is so cool that you do that.

• 34:11Jay Shetty?

  We've got to talk more about that.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  You see my eyes. I'm like, I'm into that. I'm like, do you ever take someone with you? I'm like, I want some details.

• 34:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, we should go together. I used to do retreats to India every year.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 34:21Jay Shetty?

  And take people because I wanted people to have the same experience of disconnecting, being somewhere where you're not familiar with. And when you go somewhere where you don't know anyone and no one knows you, the growth is just incredible.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  And that's how I felt at Hippocrates, like no one knew who I was. I was just like everyone else and just connecting and it was so cool. It was about the last day that people started to like, wait, are you, but up until then, it was just like, just learning people and being my authentic self and not like feeling like I had to be on per se. And, and that was just such an incredible experience.

• 34:54Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. So we've got our final five questions that we do on every episode. These are rapid fires. You can either answer with one word.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:01Jay Shetty?

  Three words or one sentence. Like that's it. No more than that.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:04Jay Shetty?

  I'm giving you the barriers because.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Okay, got it.

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  Sometimes guests like to share more.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:09Jay Shetty?

  Okay. So the first question I'm going to ask you is what feels like your biggest accomplishment so far?

• 35:14Speaker 01

  My son.

• 35:15Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. Okay. Next question. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Thank God for another day.

• 35:21Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. What's the last thing you do before you go to bed?

• 35:24Speaker 01

  Thank God for another day.

• 35:25Jay Shetty?

  Love it. That's beautiful. What is a mantra that you live by?

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Love yourself from the inside out. And that's something my dad taught me, but loving yourself.

• 35:36Jay Shetty?

  You can tell us more if you want.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Okay, loving yourself from the inside out. And I want to. Give that to our listeners here today because it's something that I live by and it's something that's so important. You know, we're so worried about the outer, the clothes, the makeup, the this, or how do I look that we forget to love ourselves from the inside out. And to me, that's where it all starts with. So you could see people like with whack clothes, hair looking crazy, but for some reason, they're like shining in the room and super confident and feel great because they're loving themselves from the inside out. It has nothing to do with all this exterior stuff. So I have to always remind myself to love myself from the inside out.

• 36:11Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. And fifth and final question, if you could get everyone in the world to do one habit or one practice every single day for 30 days, what would it be?

• 36:20Speaker 01

  I think it would be to look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. I just don't think we do that enough. Like, we spend so much time wanting to get outside recognition, or you know, social media recognition, or likes, or comments. Like, we have to love ourselves and give ourselves that love before we expect to get it from anyone else, or, you know, feel validated because it comes from everyone else. So that's the first thing I could think of.

• 36:47Jay Shetty?

  I love that. No one's ever said that before. That's awesome. I love that answer. Lala, you're amazing. We're gonna have to do another one of these.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  I would love to.

• 36:53Jay Shetty?

  And go deep.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I gotta hear about this India trip. Like, I have a lot more that we should definitely talk about. But I am so glad that you brought me here today.

• 37:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, me too. Thank you so much for coming on as well. Everyone, thank you for listening, watching, whichever one you've been doing, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're driving to and from work, whether you're at work right now and you wanted a bit of a break. Thank you so much for tuning in. Make sure you share this. Tag me and Lala with your best insights, the best quotes that she said, anything that she said that resonated with you. Feel free to tag both of us on Instagram. Share those insights. Spread the message. Thank you so much for listening and watching.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Yes, thank you guys so much. I'm at Lala, so mine is super easy. So definitely find me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all that good stuff. I'm dying to hear from everybody. I love interacting and thank you so much for having me.

• 37:37Jay Shetty?

  Awesome. Thank you, Lala. Thank you so much.

• 37:45Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're gonna share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to On Purpose. Let me know, post it, tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.