LUCY HALE: “I Was Sabotaging My Life.”

Jay sits down with actress Lucy Hale, who at 37 says she feels more comfortable with herself than ever before. Lucy opens up about letting go of society’s timelines, navigating media scrutiny and body insecurity while growing up in the early days of social media, and her relationship with alcohol and path to sobriety. Lucy also shares her decision to freeze her eggs on her own terms, and how solitude, self-forgiveness, and personal growth have changed the way she approaches love, relationships, and herself. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Mazda crafts cars for people who do more than simply move. Visit Mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer reports does not endorse products or services. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. https://WaldenU.edu JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 01:00 Reaching Her Grounded Era at 37 04:00 Releasing Societal Timelines & Comparison 06:40 Letting Go of The Pressure to Be Who Others Expected 13:56 Facing Oneself & Reframing Envy 16:28 The Need for Solitude From a Young Age 17:50 Reconnecting With Feminine Energy 20:40 Early Fame, Media Scrutiny & Perfectionism 24:20 Insecurities On Pretty Little Liars 27:35 Unpacking Past Coping Mechanisms & Learning to Forgive Yourself 32:14 The Ongoing Journey Of Sobriety 35:00 The Moment She Decided to go to Rehab 43:48 Advice For Anyone Seeking Sobriety 45:45 Dating Differently After Doing the Work 53:00 Waymo Cars & Delivery Robots 54:12 Rapid-Fire Game 56:44 Will There be a Pretty Little Liars Reunion? 58:46 Perspectives On Motherhood & Freezing Her Eggs 01:05:40 A Blind Date and The First Healthy Relationship 01:11:32 Looking for Signs in Everyday Life 01:16:58 Lucy On Final Five Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/lucyhale YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTMIfFn9BoAHSCaKkcZm-VA Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/LucyHale X | https://x.com/lucyhale Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process. And once something sells,

• 1:30Jay Shetty?

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• 2:16Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro

• 3:00Jay Shetty?

  at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:10Jay Shetty?

  I believe we were waiting for Mercury Retrograde to be pre-shadow.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Okay, this is so funny. Our original date, we were going to have this conversation during Mercury Retrograde. And so everyone that's listening to this is like, oh, God. But basically during Mercury Retrograde, Mercury rules communication. And so sometimes things don't always land as strongly as they could out of Mercury Retrograde. So we're in the clear. We pushed it a little earlier, so.

• 3:36Jay Shetty?

  Wow, okay, I love that. Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

• 4:01Jay Shetty?

  Lucy Hill, welcome to On Purpose.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Hello, so happy to be here.

• 4:05Jay Shetty?

  I am, honestly, I have been waiting for this moment for so long. We were just talking about how we first met. We were launching, at that time, a new app called BetterHelp.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:16Jay Shetty?

  It was during the pandemic.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, you came to my house.

• 4:18Jay Shetty?

  I came to your house.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Fully in my living room and we hosted this live event. And what, so that's been about six years ago. And I feel like since then, this interview has almost happened. But as I was driving over here, I was like, this is the perfect time in my life to be sitting down with you and chatting about life. And very honored to be here.

• 4:39Jay Shetty?

  And has that been how you've made decisions and choices for a while? Have you used that as insight?

• 4:44Speaker 01

  I feel like things like astrology, my spirituality definitely has like come into play more in recent years. But I am an astrology girly, I have to say. Like I, the more I learn about it, the more I like dive into my birth chart. It's so complex. The more it's proven to be accurate for me. Like, I don't think it's astrology can predict your future, but I think it gives you a toolbox to be like, oh, that's why this is so hard for me to grapple with. That's why relationships have been challenging in my life. And like, there's placements in astrology, and then I'll stop talking about this. There's placements in astrology that can like, show you past life addictions. Or I just find it really fascinating.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  And we were just chatting before that anything that's going to help me have more self-realization, anything that's going to help my soul evolve, like I dive completely in. I'm obsessed.

• 5:39Jay Shetty?

  Do you use the common signs? Or are you using another astrological science?

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Yes, so I'm a Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Leo Rising. What's yours?

• 5:47Jay Shetty?

  I don't know my full, I'm just a Virgo, that's all I know.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  You're a Virgo, I'm dating a Virgo.

• 5:52Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no way, okay.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  My mother is a Virgo, my grandmother's a Virgo. I've come to really understand Virgos.

• 5:57Jay Shetty?

  Do you like Virgos?

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I do, I do. Like you guys are the hardest working sign in the Zodiac and Capricorns. Yeah, you guys are the acts of service kings and queens. So newfound respect.

• 6:09Jay Shetty?

  Wow, okay, very good, very good. And you were saying, Lucy, a few moments ago, you were like, this was the perfect time in your life. Why was now the right time to have this conversation?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  I feel like I, do we ever really come into our own fully? I don't know, but I feel like who I am now, I'm just so much more at ease with who I am. I think I've, when we originally were going to speak, I was still like kind of in the throes of not feeling fully grounded. Like I had my two feet on the ground. But I just feel like I'm able to live a little more authentically, openly. I would say I just feel a little more grounded and at peace with everything.

• 6:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I've heard you say that you feel like your real life is starting right now.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yes, I mean, it's so interesting. I just turned 37 two days ago, which is just like.

• 6:58Jay Shetty?

  Happy belated birthday.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Thank you, thank you. I'm just like, but like, that's so wild to me because I simultaneously feel 18 and like 85 at the same time. I feel like so much of my life has not made sense. So much of my life has not fit a mold of what I thought I should be doing. And I moved to LA young, just like threw myself into Hollywood, right? And so that causes you to grow up quickly or in a specific way. And I'm just at this age now where like I've, I've done all the things that I dreamt of, right? I'm like at the point now where I'm having to dream bigger dreams, which is really cool and like just wild that I was able to make those things happen.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  But at the same time, like I am 37 and my life doesn't necessarily look the way I thought it would compared to other people my age. And so I'm trying to be better about not comparing myself to anyone else. But it gets a little harder not to do that when you hit a certain age. I remember like when I hit 35, I was like, oh. You know, because like I do want kids and I do want specific like benchmarks. But then I'm like, do I only want those things because society tells me I need to have those things? Or are those actual things that I want? And so the last year of my life, I've just had to really sit back and go, what do I want? Not what people expect of me or what my family expects of me or society expects of me. But I do feel like my life is just beginning

• 8:29Speaker 01

  because I'm able to like sleep at night now. I'm able to forgive myself, to love myself. I'm able to show up. Every day, present, clear headed. I love my work more than ever. And so it's just like a really exciting, a really exciting time. It's just, I guess you could call me a late bloomer in a lot of ways. And I'm okay with that.

• 8:52Jay Shetty?

  That's such a wonderful answer in so many ways. And I was listening to you and thinking just how, how we have these timelines and deadlines on life events. And it almost feels like that timeline or that deadline will create some sort of external success or marker. And I think about all the people I know and I'm like, I know people who got married in their twenties and then divorced in their thirties. And I know people who were

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:22Jay Shetty?

  single for a long time and found love at forty. And I know people who didn't have kids, got married late and then had kids immediately. And then other people who've been married for twenty years and never had kids. And when you start looking at real life, you start noticing how there is no real pattern or trend. But we all grew up in these small places and, and I can resonate with that where everyone around you did one thing. And you've kind of always maybe done the different thing.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Yes, I, I feel like I've always inherently felt different. I have always inherently felt like I was like on the outside looking in. I always was the black sheep of my family. And I never knew where like my desire or dreams or gifts came from. Like, I'm a believer that you are born with them. I think your gifts, your God given gifts, like that's a part of your mission for being on planet earth, right? And I think that that's a culmination of lifetimes of like harnessing your gifts, like the way you communicate, the way you speak with people, like there's no doubt, if you believe in past lives, like you have honed this gift you have and you're using it for good. I've always had that feeling as well. Like I knew

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I was, I didn't know if I was like destined for greatness, but I knew I was destined to be different. And I had something like literally just pulling me and guiding me along the way. There were moments like in my life, professionally, personally, where I was like, how the hell did I do this? How did I get out of this? How am I still alive? How did I achieve this? And I really believe that that, when you just sort of follow that intuition and that trust, like the universe supports that. The universe wants you to achieve all of your wildest dreams. I've always felt like I was here to do things a little differently.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  I'm sure everyone feels this way, but like I, I'm like, are people also feeling things this intensely? Or it's my Scorpio moon. Then I learned about a Scorpio moon and I was like, oh, I've just always had a sense of intensity about me that I used to really dislike. I used to really shove that down. I used to really not nurture that part of me. And when you do that, that leads to a whole multitude of other problems because that intensity is such a big part of who I am. And dulling that down and having shame about that caused me a lot of distress and pain in my life. And so I've had to learn to

• 11:53Speaker 01

  honor and like that part of me. And that is the work is, is liking the parts of you that you're supposed to dislike.

• 12:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them. That's the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus Awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

• 12:42Jay Shetty?

  A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. I actually think what you're saying is very accurate, that a lot of people do feel things deeply and do experience a lot going on in their mind and head. And either they can't articulate it, or they don't know why it's there.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Or you think you're not supposed to.

• 13:06Jay Shetty?

  Or you think you're not supposed to. And so I was gonna ask you, why did you suppress those thoughts? Was it because you thought you weren't supposed to have them? Like?

• 13:14Speaker 01

  From a very young age, I have memories of experiencing things maybe that I shouldn't have experienced or seen. And I have very early memories of taking on other people's emotions that weren't mine. And I think like, it could have just been like the part of the world I was raised in, the time, it was kind of like the mentality of be good. It was like the be good, be good, smile, that kind of thing. And like, when you're told that as, and that's not like unique to just me. I think it was just like growing up in the nineties, it was like little girls were supposed to just like be good, be smile, polite, go hug them, go shake their hand. And

• 13:55Speaker 01

  there wasn't really space for me, I felt like, to always be me. Like, I was sometimes labeled a very emotional child, verbatim. A difficult child. And I, and I think back and I was like, let me also preface with, I have beautiful parents who loved me in the best way they knew how. And they also, in their way, were kids as well, growing up. So I just want to like, set the stage there. But I think, you know, and I, I reflect back on my childhood and I never felt like I was a difficult child. It felt like there wasn't like an emotional safety net always. And I carried that through. Up until now, I still work on that, like allowing myself to feel these uglier emotions and knowing that

• 14:39Speaker 01

  it's okay and safe for me to do that. People will still love me and my people will still show up for me. Like, I feel like people that meet me would automatically assume that I'm, I am that way. But in my interpersonal relationships, like I can be a bit guarded and have walls up because I'm afraid sometimes to express like, I have like little monsters in me that are super intense, right? And like, we all have different pathways. And I, and I truly believe like, we all have this like soul blueprint. We all have a specific mission and purpose and reason for being here. I do believe in destiny in a way. I do believe we have free will to get to that destiny.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  But we're not all meant to be a successful actress. We're not all meant to have kids and be married by thirty-five. I think we all have specific lessons that we want to learn. And for some people, you learn those lessons by getting married young and having kids young. For some people, it's like finding success really young. For some people, it's addiction. For some people, it's loss, grief. And I just think that's so beautiful. Like that, I choose to see life through that lens because it's the only thing that really makes sense to me. I'm like, otherwise, what, what do you mean? Like, what, what do you mean? Why are we here? I think it's to evolve and grow. And I'm saying all that.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  You know, if anyone's listening to this who's like going through something where you're comparing your life to someone else, like comparison is gonna snatch you right out of your own alignment. And I think that that's why sometimes social media and media in general can be really really troubling and scary because I'm guilty of it as well. Like, I'll think I'm supposed to be doing this kind of acting role, or think I'm supposed to be making this TikTok video, or like looking a certain way or having certain things. And the easiest way to get out of your like blueprint is to get too hyper focused on what's going on around you. So I mean, it's easier said than done, obviously, but

• 16:45Speaker 01

  yeah, just releasing the narrative of what your life is supposed to look like. Like, my life does not look like how I thought it would, but it looks better in so many other ways. So.

• 16:54Jay Shetty?

  How do we actually stop comparing ourselves to others?

• 16:58Speaker 01

  I don't know. Do you know? When you find out, let me know.

• 17:01Jay Shetty?

  What have you tried? What has worked?

• 17:03Speaker 01

  I feel like the only way you can drown out the noise is you have to face yourself. You have to be brutally honest with yourself. That to me is the single most important thing a human can do. Because everyone's always like, well, what's your advice for people? My advice is for people to not listen to advice. I think we all have an inner knowing, an inner voice. It is there. It actually speaks to us very loudly, very clearly. You just have to be still enough or remove distraction enough to hear it. Like, I always like.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Look back on my life and I was like, oh, I was cut off from spirituality. I was cut off from connection. Absolutely not. That connection is given to all of us equally. It's like the sun, right? Like, the sun is always gonna shine on people. The sun isn't like, no, you get three rays, you get one ray. No, it's always there. And I am a believer that that connection to, fill in the blank of whatever word you wanna put. I say God, I say spirit. It's always there and we cut it off. And that was such a relief for me to know, like, oh, my God, I was always taken care of. And it really is a journey coming back home to yourself. And I think for me, it was all part of my plan.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  It was all part of the plan for me to go through all the things because, my God, I feel like I would be so much more of a boring person without that story, because it gave me so much empathy for others. And I don't know if I would respect and love myself in the way I do today if I hadn't gone through the things I'd gone through. But we were talking about comparison and this is how my brain works. I'll be like,

• 18:48Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Um, the comparison thing. I mean, there is a way where you can use comparison as fuel, like whenever, because I'm a person where I, I don't like to use the word jealousy, but I go, oh, wow, look at what they did. I wanna do that. That's amazing. Good for them. I don't wanna take that from them, but I wanna do something like that. I think you can like do a reframe. I love a reframe, by the way. Like, I think we all have these like uglier emotions, like envy, jealousy, anger, rage. And we're told that we're not supposed to express those, but, but there is a healthier outlet, I think, for comparison. And I think just like use that as fuel to go after what you want. What's your, what's for you is not gonna miss you. It's gonna find you. It might not be on your timeline or how you think it'll look,

• 19:34Speaker 01

  but nothing can get in the way of that.

• 19:36Jay Shetty?

  I wanted to go back to asking you a bit about your childhood as you explained it there. I wanted to ask you, like, do you have a childhood memory that you believe defines who you are today?

• 19:45Speaker 01

  In my childhood home, we had this, I still remember the backyard so clearly, but we had just one tree in the, in the yard. And I spent so much time alone up in the tree. I buried my dead goldfish under the tree. I buried, I had like frogs and hermit crabs and I have always loved animals. And I would make like a little pet cemetery, but I would go in this tree and I would brainstorm and I would play make believe to the point where I was like actually living it. And I think that that perfectly captures who I am, because I am quite internal and more introverted, I think, than a lot of people might realize.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  And I feel like I get my most insights or downloads or creativity in solitude. And I feel like I need more solitude than most people. And that used to scare me because I think like isolation and solitude, there's a very fine line. And I can tend to isolate. That perfectly defines me, me alone in a tree.

• 20:48Jay Shetty?

  Do you have a treehouse?

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 20:50Jay Shetty?

  I really wanted a treehouse as a kid. I still want one today.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  No, I didn't have a treehouse.

• 20:53Jay Shetty?

  I have a friend who has the coolest treehouse.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  I wanna live in a treehouse, maybe one day.

• 20:57Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about what makes you feel the most still?

• 21:01Speaker 01

  I'm a busybody. I don't know about you. Is it easy for you to be still?

• 21:04Jay Shetty?

  I'd say fairly.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Fairly.

• 21:06Jay Shetty?

  But that's because, but that's because I'm spoiled, because I had those three years where stillness was such a priority in my life. And so I know what I'm going back to and I know the value of it. And so I'm spoiled and I have a cheat code in that we did it. And so I can switch pretty,

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:22Jay Shetty?

  by, by time and by space.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  I love that. It's very, very, very hard for me to be still. I mean, monkey mind times a million. And I think I've also had to become friends with that as well, because the more you fight something, the more it's, it's, you know what I'm saying? So.

• 21:43Jay Shetty?

  But I like that because it's relatable. That's, that's what people, like, everyone feels that way. They're like,

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I'm like a doer. I feel like I have a lot of that masculine energy where I'm just like, I'm gonna go out and do something and, and I have, like, I've, I've, I've built my life because you have to. Like, I've, I've always just like seen the thing, seen the next step, take action and do it. But it's actually a little more challenging for me to be more in that feminine, softer, quieter energy. I really struggle with it, I'm not gonna lie. Like, I, I'm still like trying to find time every day where I can just be. I mean, of course, I do the things. I do meditation. Sometimes it's on for like two minutes and I'm like, we're done for today. I've recently gotten into breathwork. That does wonders for me.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  But it's really, you know, I think just like simply being outside helps me. When in doubt, I always say, when in doubt, go for a walk. I'm a big walker. When I need to think, when I need an answer on something, I go out and walk, which isn't necessarily stillness, but it's a version of it for me.

• 22:49Jay Shetty?

  Why do you think you lived in your masculine for so long? And what helps you reconnect to your feminine?

• 22:57Speaker 01

  I think a lot of it is,

• 23:01Speaker 01

  I liked to be in control, because when I'm in control, I feel safe. I don't know when I developed that, but I would say probably pretty early on, probably wanting to control the environment around me. I, um, I like, in my teens, was doing stuff to like control my weight. And, but it all like, anything physical is just an emotional, spiritual, like need, wanting to control something. But the thing is, like, that type of energy can make you, it brings success. It like, it has rewards that it comes from wanting to be in control. And like the anxiety that comes if I'm not in control.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  And that is something I'm definitely working on.

• 23:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, it makes sense because I feel like you became famous at a time when young women were being picked apart on the internet and social media, like completely and pit against each other, comparison, competition.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:02Jay Shetty?

  Talk to me about how you tried to navigate that and how that affected your self-confidence, self-worth.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Well, man, it really was a different time. This was like 2010. You know, Instagram's just popping off, I think. Twitter's just beginning. But it was just so different, like that we didn't have the whole body positivity movement yet. And of course, I'm like 18, 19, 20. I wasn't quite yet confident in who I was, my value. I had no value system.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  I wasn't confident in my gifts. It was like, okay, well, I can control the way people perceive me and the way I look. So let's try and control that. That'll be fun. And then it just kind of became an obsession, I think, even pre being in front of the camera. And I also wanna be clear that like the TV show and shows I was a part of, there wasn't any pressure for me to, from producers or anything to look a specific way. It was more a societal point of view, I think. And it was pressure I was putting on myself. Not blaming other people for the things I've gone through has given me so much freedom. So, you know, I was choosing the career path. I was choosing, it was all me, the pressure I was putting on myself.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  But, you know, like, the media doesn't make it that easy. I mean, I can't even imagine now, growing up as a young.

• 25:31Jay Shetty?

  You think it's got harder?

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Like, I have, I have nieces, they're eight and 11, nine and 11. And I'm just like, I can't imagine having all that at my fingertips when I was that age. Although I do feel, not to take such a negative spin on it, I do feel like the younger generations are so loving and accepting. But I feel like millennials, like we shifted a lot.

• 25:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  And then Gen Z and what's below Gen Z?

• 26:01Jay Shetty?

  Gen A.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  There's just a lot of acceptance and love and like free spiritedness that I really appreciate. But I do feel like, I don't know if the pressure's gotten worse, but I mean, social media is a beast, you know? And I feel like more than ever, we're criticizing women's bodies again. Like, why are we doing this again? And clearly, it like, I, it triggers me badly, because it is not our business, what people do to their bodies, what they look like, how they, their decisions they choose to make regarding their bodies or their face. Like, but it's also clear to me that people in the public eye are a blank page for people to project their own stuff onto.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  So I think it's just kind of like a chaotic vortex. But I, I just like, the last year or so of just, it feels like the pendulum has swung the other way with how we're talking about women in the media. It doesn't help. Like, it doesn't, if someone's going through something, criticizing them.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  In a Reddit chat, like, how does that help anyone? I just get, I get very, um, very defensive, especially of women in the public eye, of women in general. Like, I just want justice for people. And I'm like, maybe I need to sit with, why does that bring up so much for me? Maybe I felt like I haven't always been protected in certain ways. I don't know. But it definitely affected how I viewed myself. Um, and I think just like being in front of a camera. I have very clear memories of like first season of Pretty Little Liars. Obviously so excited, like couldn't believe to, I was a part of this opportunity. But also like that was when my insecurities really flared up.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Like, I remember we had someone who worked on the show. He did something with lighting on the show. And something was pointed out about my face. And I remember I had never noticed that about my face before. To this day, I won't say what it is, but to this day, I still hyper-focus on that. So it's just really interesting how like we can hear something one time and it can affect, our brain can like hold on to that and rewire to attach to that narrative or identity. I mean, it was really confronting being on, being in front of the camera while I was still trying to figure out who I was as a woman. But like, at the same time, I was living my dream. And so it was like a good payoff for me.

• 28:26Jay Shetty?

  Did the other cast members of Pretty Little Liars know what you were going through? And did you know what they were going through?

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Sasha on the show, like, we've talked a lot about this. Like, she had a lot of, um, she went through some health issues and she's talked about this publicly, I'm not speaking out of line. Um, and she had it pretty hard, like, the public was not very kind to her.

• 28:44Jay Shetty?

  Did you talk about it then? Or was it not?

• 28:45Speaker 01

  No, just now, just now. I'd love to sit down with other gals and chat about their experience.

• 28:51Jay Shetty?

  We need a reunion.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  We need a reunion. We really do. I, I see them, you know, from time to time. Yeah, like randomly, I ran into Ashley not too long ago and I saw Shay at the gym and, um, and I saw Troyne at a concert. So it's like, we're seeing each other and everyone's doing so well. And it's just like, it's so wonderful to be at this point in my life where I can look back at that time and only feel the good. Because there was a time in my life where I felt kind of ashamed of who I was during that time in my life. I know that's probably crazy to hear, but I was struggling so much internally and was frustrated at the world because they didn't understand my pain, yet I wasn't expressing myself. I didn't know how to find the words to express what I was going through.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  I wasn't ready to face myself. I wasn't ready to ask for help. And since then, I've kind of spoken to a lot of people involved in the show and they've shown me so much grace, as they always did. Like, I don't think people understood. I think there were moments when people were maybe a little upset or angry, but it's only because they didn't know. And, you know, just being able to hold myself accountable, the best feeling in the world, to see your part in something and to apologize to someone and for them to receive that. Like, I've been gifted so many opportunities from the universe doing that because I've had to apologize to a lot of people. I hurt a lot of people in my life.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  And it's really blown my mind actually how, like, the universe has conspired for me to run into people that I, like, I didn't even have their number anymore. And I, I knew, like, I had a list of people I really wanted to apologize to. And I would just run into them and I'd get to apologize to them. And, um, just like, being able to clean up my side of the street is, I just feel free, you know? It's a good feeling.

• 30:44Jay Shetty?

  What was the, the hardest apology you had to?

• 30:47Speaker 01

  To myself. Sorry, I don't know why that makes me emotional. I think forgiving myself has been hard. And it's still something where I have to actively choose to have compassion for myself. And to know that I haven't done anything wrong. I'm not made up of all my mistakes or my bad decisions or how I've treated people or how I've treated myself. It's really about how I, for a lot of my life, was sabotaging my life. I was self-sabotaging in such a big way.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  And it's truly a miracle that I was able to get out of it. There's so many stories, like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to share, but I truly believe I've been protected by an unseen force that loves me. But yes, forgiving myself is a daily, a daily choice. Because I'll be doing okay, I'll be doing okay, I'll be doing okay. Something will trigger a memory or I'll get a text message, something will bring me back to a memory. And I realize, holy crap, there is so much shame I'm still carrying. But that's like a part of it, right? Like, you don't just do, do the work.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  I hate that saying, but like, do the work, do the healing and your life is just like shiny, sparkly, wonderful. No, like, it's, you are actively like unpacking for the rest of your life. It's like unpacking it, but being like, oh, I see why you had to do that. Like, I'm at the point now where I'm like, oh, I see why I was drinking to escape. I actually see how drinking was saving my life. Because it is the only thing that was keeping me going for a while. But I think when, when I've been able to forgive myself more, I'm only able to forgive the people in my life. The more I love myself, the more I can love my family and friends. I think that's just how it works. And so interesting, like, I've obviously talked about all of this so much, years of

• 32:58Speaker 01

  therapy, years of unpacking. And it's just interesting that like, certain things can still hit something in me that's just really true. And, um, and I think that's a universal feeling, like, being ashamed is just a really bad feeling that is like a contagion as well. It's important though. I think self-forgiveness is like the first step in anything. I don't do 12-step anymore, but that is like one of the first steps is, well, admitting you're powerless over something, but also forgiving yourself.

• 33:36Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast.

• 34:21Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are. But it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality is incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items

• 35:06Jay Shetty?

  for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision-making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions.

• 35:48Jay Shetty?

  Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients.

• 36:29Jay Shetty?

  They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. It's really interesting, we were talking about, about this a bit earlier in this idea of how sometimes, and, and you just put it brilliantly, we have this belief that I'm gonna do the work and then my life's gonna be amazing and it's gonna be shiny. Or I do the work and then it's done and then I get to live. And the reality is, it's cyclical. It's, you feel renewed and then you're back doing the work and then you review something and you're back doing the work. And it's this cycle that keeps perpetuating and I've only, it's only hit me very recently how people are carrying so much shame and guilt internally.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:15Jay Shetty?

  That it's destroying their life externally.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:18Jay Shetty?

  But they can't see the connection or make the connection. People may feel guilt internally and that's losing them a job opportunity externally. And we feel so bad for feeling those emotions.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:31Jay Shetty?

  But because we don't ask for help, we don't communicate them, we don't know what to do with them, the external life just falls apart.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  It's so true. And I just wish for everyone, for everyone to realize that like,

• 37:48Speaker 01

  We have the capacity to change our lives internally from the inside out. And I wasn't taught that. Like, most of us are not taught that, like, mind-body-soul connection.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  So, and that's, it should actually be a relief for people, like, yes, like, you, you might need therapy or certain external things to help support you. Like, God knows I needed a lot of that, right? But, but really, like, you have everything you need inside of you to shift your life one step at a time. You just have to garner the patience and know that there is a delay effect, too. Like, my life, I'm just now reaping the benefits of getting sober because sobriety for me is like, so little about drugs and alcohol now. It's like, I had to

• 38:40Speaker 01

  remove the things that were keeping me from facing myself. And I, I'm in year, I'm like, little over four and a half years sober, and the first year was amazing. It was like, easy breezy. I was living on a pink cloud. And then things started coming up because everything I'd been repressing was coming up. But really, me taking a long, hard look in the mirror, looking at my life and saying, who do I want to be? What kind of person do I want to be? I owe that to myself. I owe that to myself to be that person and to choose that every day, no matter what it looks like. And I have. And it's the thing I'm most proud

• 39:20Speaker 01

  of myself for. And when I meet anyone who has also gone through something like this, like, I listened to your Hayden interview, and I was so moved because although our circumstances were a little different, it's a hard life path. But we all have that. Even if you're not getting sober, like, changing yourself, leaving a toxic relationship, letting go of a pattern that's blocking you, that shit is painful. It is so painful. And no one prepares you for it. And, and yet, we all go through it. And I think because of what I've been through, I just kind of, I feel like I'm a little more forgiving towards people now

• 40:04Speaker 01

  because, who knows? We've, who knows what's going on with someone behind closed doors? Because I know for me, people did not know for a decade. Well, people close to me maybe a little bit, but publicly, no. People would look at my life and be like, wow, she's really got it all. And I did. But I wasn't happy. And I didn't feel like I deserved it. It's nice to now be in a place where I can receive things like that lovely intention you gave me.

• 40:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's such a, everything you're saying resonates so strongly because it's so funny how like, having the thing doesn't mean you feel you deserve the thing. Like, that idea is so hard to understand until you end up in that situation.

• 40:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:46Jay Shetty?

  And then you go, oh, wow, it didn't, it didn't solve it. It didn't fix it. And it doesn't change anything. You've, you've mentioned sobriety a few times. I wanted to ask you, how did that, how did it even develop? How did you even get into that position where alcohol, I've heard you say before, was the only thing that really?

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Quite in my mind, yeah.

• 41:03Jay Shetty?

  How did you get to that point that that was the only thing? And then, on the other end, how did you go, I need help, and I'm going to ask for it? Because I think a lot of people, and I, I actually, we're doing this other series right now for social media, and four out of six of the people I interviewed for it, who have done things they regret, were all done under the influence.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:27Jay Shetty?

  And these are not people that are, you know, these are everyday people doing wonderful, normal things with their life, and, but they've all done something. And, and they were just, alcohol was at the center of some pain in there, some massive pain in their life.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:41Jay Shetty?

  And so I wanted to ask you, how did you end up in that position? And then, how did you have the courage to want help and then actually reach out? And how long did that distance take?

• 41:51Speaker 01

  I look back now, and I'm like, oh, it was all so, it's all so crystal clear that all the signs were there. I don't remember ever having, like, a normal drinking experience. Like, I remember the way alcohol was presented in my hometown, or with friends, or even in society, like, millennials just like to drink, you know? Like, it's true. Like, people are drinking less and less now.

• 42:15Jay Shetty?

  Especially millennial Brits.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Loved, like, I was reminiscing on club days. Like, I have a lot of good memories drinking, but I have equal or more, like, devastating, dangerous memories. But I, I think I just always had what I call like, an allergy to it. I always wanted more, I was like, why would you just have one drink? I never understood, like, why someone would drink a glass of wine for the taste of it. Like, I hated the taste of it, but loved the feeling. I could never get enough of the feeling of just being so at ease. And I felt like, I remember just like, after a drink, it felt like my costume was coming off and Lucy could finally emerge, and I could be free, and I could be sexy, and I

• 42:57Speaker 01

  could be funny, and I could, because I am quite shy. Like, I'm not the girl that's gonna like, go let loose and dance. That's never been my personality. Like, I'm very reserved. But drinking, I wasn't. I'd be dancing on a friggin', like, countertop, you know? I would do anything, and it felt freeing. And I think I loved that feeling as a teenager. I liked being the, the life of the party. There was a very distinct shift for me one day. I was in a relationship with someone who also struggled. And that's when, like, the drinking the day after kind of started. And I was like, oh, wow, this really eases

• 43:38Speaker 01

  my hangover, my anxieties. And so then, it would be more of like, a bender-type situation. I was able to not drink during work, which meant when my time off would just be chaos. But it was still, like, in my early twenties, it was very fun. I wasn't, I didn't want to admit I had a problem, even though I was told by boyfriends, by family. My sweet mom was always like, I'm really worried about you. I would say there was a dark turn around, like, 23, where I was drinking to the point where I would blackout, you know? If someone's never blacked out before, I witnessed someone blacking out. It's very bizarre, because

• 44:20Speaker 01

  I've been told I look normal, but my eyes just go, like, dark. But I'm acting normally. Like, I didn't pass out or anything, so people wouldn't know I was heading downhill quick. But, you know, I'd wake up and not remember anything, and that's obviously as terrifying as it sounds. And it got to a point where I was just drinking dangerous amounts, waking up in dangerous situations. And I, I remember I was in a hotel in Nashville. I've never told this story before. I don't think. And I was also doing music at the time. I was like, season two of Pretty Little Liars. We were on hiatus. And I was recording my album, promoting my album, which music has always been so important to me. And I woke

• 45:05Speaker 01

  up out of a blackout in a hotel room, and later, it was like, early in the morning, and later that day, I was gonna sing at the Grand Ole Opry, which is a huge honor. You have to be, I don't know if you've been to the Opry in Nashville, but it's like, every country-western sensation has sang there. And like, to, you have to be asked there by, like, the Grand Ole Opry committee. And I went to rehab instead. That morning, I said, I called my manager and I said, I'm really scared. I don't want to stop drinking, but I know I have to stop drinking. This is 23. And she was like, okay. My manager flew out, took me to rehab. All was kept under wraps. I had to cancel my tour because

• 45:46Speaker 01

  of drinking. And which is why I've never really approached music again, which also makes me emotional, because I love music, and I loved that time in my life. But because the music coincided with my issues, it's taken me a long time to even, like, look at photos of that time, or listen to music from that time. And so, I'm just now kind of okay, even thinking about the idea of singing again. I will say one thing about me is, I've always asked for help. I've always had the desire, when I knew it got bad, like, I've always wanted to change. There was always like, a guiding light. There was always something

• 46:27Speaker 01

  where I knew, if I followed that feeling of getting help, I was gonna be okay. It doesn't mean I've always, like, listened to it. I mean, relapse was such a big part of my journey. I'm talking 12 years, 13 years of, of struggling. Because people are like, how did you drink like that and have the career you had? And I was like, well, I had like, long periods of sobriety, months long. Went to rehab, did a lot of things. Nothing really stuck. I think probably because there were still lessons to learn. I wasn't ready. Ultimately, like, I knew when I got sober, I was gonna have to do some unpacking. And how I've mentioned a few times, like, really taking a look at myself. And I knew that was gonna be so painful.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  And I knew it was gonna take time and I knew my life was just gonna look so different.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  And then, you know, flash forward to thirty two, how old am I? I'm trying to do math. So I got, I got sober at thirty two. Yeah, it was January 2nd, 2022. So however old I was.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  I, you know, hit another just really low moment. And this time I didn't necessarily ask for help, but I knew, and I've said this so many times publicly, but like, I knew that was my last, my last chance. I was like, I think it's time to retire the drinking. I think it's finally time and I'm ready. And I just never looked back. Even when it's been hard, like I've, I committed to the life I want to live. I committed to not becoming the woman I wanted to be. I think I've always been that woman. I think allowing myself to be her.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Reclaiming my power. I think I've always been a little afraid of being powerful. I think I've always tried to play small and keep quiet and repress and just like be a good girl. And I was like, I'm tired of that identity. I don't want to be that anymore. That served me for a long time, but I'm, I can be, I can set boundaries now. And I think I do inherently have like a kindness and sensitivity, but like, I'm okay letting people down. I think a lot of the drinking was also like trying to take care of other people's

• 48:47Speaker 01

  feelings. I think like I would drink because I was so exhausted by like not being myself. And so in a way, drinking let me be myself. As weird as that sounds like it, it did allow me to be this like edgier version. And I now I've just had to like integrate that edgier version into everyday life. Like I can still, you're not gonna like, I'm sure you've done shadow work.

• 49:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Like you don't just say, okay, bye, shadow self. See ya. It's been fun. Like, that's not how it works. That person is me. That is a part of me. It's just finding ways to release the hounds in a way that's not so detrimental to my life and my mental health and emotional health.

• 49:28Jay Shetty?

  It's almost how can you stop numbing that side and avoiding it and ignoring it and finding ways to do that. But like you said, the reason we do that, and I'm saying this compassionately and empathetically for anyone who's doing it is because we're so scared to unpack what lies beneath. And so it's so natural to find ways of avoiding it.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:52Jay Shetty?

  And alcohol or drugs or whatever it may be, and people find their own version of it.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:57Jay Shetty?

  Can fully do that. And then, like you said, you finally got to this point. If, if someone's struggling with becoming sober right now, what would you encourage them to do?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  I would say, good for you for realizing and having that awareness is everything. There are so many people that cannot admit that it's a problem. And the second that you are saying, I want to be sober, I'm trying to be sober, like, hell yeah, you're already on the path. And that's amazing. I'm a very, um,

• 50:31Speaker 01

  I need to logically make things make sense. I'm a Gemini, so it's very mercury. Like, I need to understand. So for me, a lot of my healing has come from understanding my patterns, my childhood, my relationship patterns, and that's helped me have grace for myself. So I think things like therapy, just talking, finding a community can be very helpful. I also like, there is no right way. I think a lot of people might tell you there's only one way. No, I've tried every way and I've found my way. I think, I think also a lot of, I know many sober people who never relapsed, got sober the first time and have been sober 20 years.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Myself, I relapsed many, many, many, many, many times. So your journey's gonna look different. If you fall down, that is so much more wisdom, so much more growth. Just keep going. Like, just keep going. Choose yourself, find your people. Now you're gonna have to hold yourself accountable too. This is not always gonna be easy work, but it is the most rewarding thing you can do. And I think that applies to more than just drugs and alcohol to anything. Like, choose yourself. Choose yourself and not everyone's gonna understand it. That's okay. Do it anyway. There's so, I feel so misunderstood by people all the time, but I know that I'm doing what's best for me.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  And when you live authentically, everything else will fall into place.

• 51:59Jay Shetty?

  I wonder, you mentioned you were dating at that time. What was it like dating when?

• 52:03Speaker 01

  It was chaotic. You know, I think when I was living from a place of not really respecting myself, like, of course I attracted partners who were gonna match that. Not that they ever disrespected me, but there has been a pattern of in the past, choosing partners who were struggling or emotionally unavailable or someone I needed to like earn their love. I had many beautiful people come into my life and they came into my life for a reason. Like, I can see why I dated certain people and what that gave me. Like, I also see life through like, oh, this is happening for me, not to me. I truly believe everything can be a lesson.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Um, and sometimes the lesson is don't ever date someone like that again, you know? But I would say my dating life was, I was always with someone in my twenties. I was so afraid to be alone and I found a lot of self-worth from who I was dating. Or the validation I was getting, or how many people wanted to date me. And it's a false sense of security. And it would always leave me feeling empty. No regrets, but, but, um, yeah, I think I was also numbing out in that way as well.

• 53:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Maybe choosing people that weren't and didn't have my best interest at heart. Um, but the good news is like, when you shift internally, ooh, you're gonna attract so, like, it's so crazy that the type of experiences and people and things into my life now. It's just, you can't even compare.

• 53:40Jay Shetty?

  And it's incredible when you get to experience both sides. And I'm sure even hearing you say it, people who are listening and watching, like seeing just the energy shift and even how you said that and how you, how your face lit up and you know, and it's wonderful to observe in someone where you go, wow, I can't imagine how dark that darkest day was. But it's so important for people to see people on the other side. Not that there isn't more to unpack, not that there isn't more work to do, not that there isn't

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:09Jay Shetty?

  more things to visit and revisit, but there is a movement in the cycle.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. And just being patient with that. You deserve that. I deserved that. Everyone deserves that. Everyone deserves to live a life that they're really proud of.

• 54:23Jay Shetty?

  And it's possible.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  And it is possible. And it doesn't mean like, you don't make mistakes. Like, I, every day I'm like, damn, I should have maybe handled that a little differently or, okay, like, cause I can have a bit of a temper and I can be a little reactive. But I can laugh about things maybe a little bit more and.

• 54:41Jay Shetty?

  What's angry Lucy like?

• 54:46Speaker 01

  You know what? I, I feel like I, it really only happens to the people closest to me. And it's not like, I think it's just, I can be a little reactive and defensive sometimes, but I know that I'm only being reactive and defensive because it's hitting a nerve and it's something I need to take a look at. And I think a lot of my growth has come from being alone, I think. But now I'm in a place where I, I can grow in partnership. I can grow in friendship and in family because I can meet people at a more grounded state of mind. And I think, you know, they always say like, you're not, you can't grow until you're whole. It's like, well, are we ever really whole?

• 55:27Speaker 01

  I think we're actually all maybe born whole. I think we're already whole. And I think, um, it is definitely possible to grow within partnership. I think that's like a narrative where like you need to wait until, and I'm like, I actually disagree. I think that that is maybe not necessarily true, but once again, everyone's different. I personally needed a lot of time alone. Um, and now the last year or so, I've been ready.

• 55:52Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Walden University. Balancing work, life and big goals isn't easy. That's why Walden University helps working professionals get the W with tempo learning. So you can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical skills through real life scenarios. You'll also learn from faculty with real world experience and have support start to finish. Walden University, set a course for change. Ready to start? Visit waldenu.edu today. Certified to operate by CHEV, Tempo Learning, available in select programs.

• 56:30Jay Shetty?

  The way I think about it is you can grow together or you can grow apart based on whether you're willing to grow and communicate where you're at. And I find that people who don't do the work before can bring in a lot into a relationship and push the other person away.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:50Jay Shetty?

  Because they're not looking inward and then the other person doesn't know what's going on.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  It's true. You have to like find someone who's willing to grow with you. I've had to come to realize like, I'm not gonna meet this perfect person who has my journal list of, it's like, they might have some of them, but you have to decide, and you know this because you've been married a while, right? Like you find someone whose baggage you want to deal with and that you're gonna help them carry and to know that like, oh, this might be challenging at times and. I think that's beautiful. I think that's what love is, is like seeing people for who they are and really just accepting them for who and how they are.

• 57:29Jay Shetty?

  I think about a relationship as two people driving to their friend's house or a party at night, but they're driving from different places.

• 57:38Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 57:38Jay Shetty?

  And one person's gonna be there on time and they're calling up and saying, hey, I'm gonna be there on time. And the other person's saying, I'm gonna be late, actually. I'm just finishing work. I haven't wrapped up yet. And the other person's like, well, do you want me to wait outside for you? Do you want me to go inside and mingle and hang? And they're like, well, will you please wait outside for me? Okay. Well, how long are you gonna be? I'm gonna be 20 minutes late. Okay, I'll wait. I think I could wait 20 minutes. Okay, fine. I'll wait 20 minutes for you.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:01Jay Shetty?

  And that's that communication part, because you're not moving at the same pace. You're not growing at the same speed. You're both on different timelines, but you know why and what you're waiting for.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  It's also like communication styles, because everyone has a different communication style. And I think for me, where I've really am learning to surrender and let go is like learning that I can't, it's not my job to control or change anyone else, their point of view, their work. I can't make someone make a decision. I can't save them. I can't make them do the work. That's all on them. But I can choose who I want to be with. I can choose who I want to spend my time with. And I think there is a relief in that of like, I'm not here to control people. I'm not here to change anyone. I'm here to navigate my own life and navigate my own reactions to whatever choices people are making towards

• 58:55Speaker 01

  me. So, and then when you're telling that story, I'm like, what kind of cars are you guys driving over to?

• 59:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's true. And that matters. That does matter. Yeah. Like, is your car all souped up and like, ready? Is it comfortable?

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Did you stop to get in and out? Like, I need to know all the details.

• 59:10Jay Shetty?

  Does it have fuel in it? Or did you forget to fill up fuel?

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  You need to stop at the gas station?

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 59:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  Is it an Uber? Is it a Waymo?

• 59:16Jay Shetty?

  Is it a Waymo? That's hilarious.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Have you seen those Waymo vans?

• 59:19Jay Shetty?

  They're scary.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  Are you sponsored by Waymo?

• 59:21Jay Shetty?

  No.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Are you gonna cut this part out? You might.

• 59:22Jay Shetty?

  No, well, if they sponsor us, I'll use them. But I am so scared of sitting in a car.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  I'm too much of a control freak. No, I'm like, no.

• 59:29Jay Shetty?

  Literally, I can't sit in a car without a driver.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  They're gonna have like Waymo planes, probably, too.

• 59:33Jay Shetty?

  That's scary. Imagine you go to the cockpit and there's like, no one there.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  I'm quickly getting off the plane.

• 59:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, even though supposedly it's safer than us, so.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  Honestly, yeah.

• 59:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Except when I get stuck behind a Waymo, I get really mad.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  I know.

• 59:45Jay Shetty?

  I'm just like, come on, dude.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  I know. You know the little robot carts?

• 59:49Jay Shetty?

  Oh, they're so cute.

• 59:50Speaker 01

  I am too sensitive towards them. Like, I was eating, we were out eating on the side of the street and like, over in Los Feliz. And there was one coming down, but there was a palm that had fallen. And so it kept going, and I was like, someone help him.

• 1:00:04Jay Shetty?

  I always, I always re-shift them in the right direction. They've done a great job of making them adorable.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  I know. I was like, I feel like there's a little, even though I know there's not consciousness in it, I like, it feels like there's a little soul in there.

• 1:00:17Jay Shetty?

  I thought you were gonna say, there's a little person driving inside.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  There's a child. There's a small child driving in. No, I feel like there's a little bit of like, life in them. It's so funny.

• 1:00:27Jay Shetty?

  Lucy, this is perfect timing. We have, we have a fun rapid fire game for you that has been designed just for you.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Are there rules to this game? Or is it just kind of?

• 1:00:34Jay Shetty?

  No, this is to celebrate where you're at today.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:36Jay Shetty?

  And you just have to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. So what's the one thing that mattered to you in your twenties that doesn't matter now?

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I would say, um, validation from others really mattered to me in my twenties a lot. I've learned to let that go, not fully, but a lot more, um, as the woman I am today.

• 1:00:55Jay Shetty?

  What's a daily habit that's genuinely changed your life?

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Morning time, like, an hour of slow, intentional journaling, or walking with my dogs, just really setting the tone for my day. I don't miss it, whether I'm here across the ocean, like, on a plane. Like, I always make sure I have that time.

• 1:01:12Jay Shetty?

  What's a relationship red flag that you used to allow for that would be a deal breaker today?

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Lack of communication, or ignoring my texts.

• 1:01:21Jay Shetty?

  You used to allow for that?

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I used to allow for it. And it would make me think I just needed to like, try harder. But now I'm like, no, communication is everything to me. Consistent communication.

• 1:01:32Jay Shetty?

  What's the best compliment someone could give you right now?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  That they feel safe around me. I always love when people are like, I feel like I can share things with you. I think that that, um, that always makes me feel good.

• 1:01:44Jay Shetty?

  I feel like you have that energy a lot.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  I feel like sometimes people will, strangers will just like, tell me things. And I love it. And sometimes I'm like, oh, it's a little bizarre. But, but then I think, oh, they just need someone to talk to. And like, I'm always happy to be that person for anyone.

• 1:02:01Jay Shetty?

  Unless you're late for a flight.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Unless I'm late for a flight. Exactly.

• 1:02:04Jay Shetty?

  I want to say, though, like, and I like doing this with people that I have met years back when, you know, where we talked about when we met, like, six years ago when I came to your home, you were absolutely wonderful. You were very kind.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:02:16Jay Shetty?

  You were very gracious. We were both doing something work-based, but I didn't feel awkward being in your home as we had like, lights and cameras and all this stuff. And I think that, that says a lot, you know? It's like, we didn't know each other then. We'd both been brought in to do this thing. And I just, yeah, I like to remind people also that.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  What's crazy just about me in general is like, externally, I don't think people would ever have realized how hard I was on myself, or like, what I was experiencing. But it's always nice to get the reminder that I've always been me, that the thing has always been there. And I think that's true for most people. It's, it just goes back to the forgiving myself thing of like, okay, let it go. You've always been okay.

• 1:02:59Jay Shetty?

  And last thing, if we did get a Pretty Little Liars reunion, what would you want to talk about? What would be on the agenda?

• 1:03:04Speaker 01

  You know what I know people would want to talk about? So I don't know if you've ever seen the show. So my character was, um, she dated her teacher. And, uh, that's been a little controversial, especially lately, because so much has changed just with like, the media we consume, the TV shows we watch, the roles, the way they write certain roles. But like, this came out in 2010. So like, yeah, of course she would date her teacher. That's what happened in the book. So it should happen in the show. So I'm sure if we had a reunion, people would want to address that. Um, because it's been, like Hollywood Reporter did a piece on Pretty Little Liars. And I noticed now, 16 years later, people have much more of an issue with that relationship than they did then. Because when we were

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  kids on this show, kids, we were teenagers, um, people loved that relationship because it was like forbidden, forbidden romance. But it's just interesting how much we've evolved as humans, that we can now say, oh, maybe that wasn't necessarily the best way to take that character. You know, I, I feel like that would be the first thing we'd have to address on the show. Although I feel like they'd still be married. They ended up getting married. Um, I, oh, I can't say that out loud. I feel like there was like, maybe a rumor of something possibly happening. We'll see, we'll see.

• 1:04:27Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  I would love to. I feel like I'm at a point now where I'd absolutely like, be so down. I think everyone else would be as well. Yeah.

• 1:04:34Jay Shetty?

  And the fact that you've all been bumping into each other.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  I know. It's like.

• 1:04:36Jay Shetty?

  And having some of these conversations. Yeah, it's nice. I love that. I wanted to go back to something you said at the start about this idea of being 37, not being in the place you imagined, but being in a wonderful place. But not doing some of those timeline things of like, oh, I thought I'd be maybe in a long-term relationship, or with kids, or married, or whatever those versions are of society. Like, is motherhood something you still see for yourself?

• 1:05:02Speaker 01

  It is. I have gone through so many iterations of, of that and my idea of that. I, for much of my life, did not want kids, but I, it was only because I didn't think I would ever be okay enough to have kids. Then my sister had kids, and I was just like, wow. And she's such a good mom. My sister's such a good mother. And, um, many of my friends have kids. And, um, because maybe I'm later 30s, it's like harder for me to admit that I do want that publicly, only because people always have an opinion. Especially if people are like, oh, you know, like, have you, like, everyone wants to ask if I've frozen my eggs. That's always like, the first thing. Um, and I have. And I think that that is

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  like, a choice I have made, just for insurance. Because I don't, who knows? Like, I might want to have kids in my 40s. Like, I think everything we, as humans, medicine, everything has evolved so much that it would perfectly be okay for me to have a child way later in life. I don't, I just don't know yet. Like, I, I'm still so career focused. I have so many goals I want to achieve. And I think I can absolutely achieve those with, with children, without children. I don't know. I, life continues to surprise me. Life continues to throw curveballs. I, my life can change on a weekly basis. I'm sure you understand that. Like, I could get a call today and be like, you're going away for six months.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  But I have come to realize that I have a mothering, nurturing quality about me that, I would love to explore when the time is right. I, uh, I see versions of my life where I do have kids. I see versions of my life where I don't. I truly, like, I don't know where life is taking me. But the good news is, I don't have to worry about it, because I'm always gonna land where I'm supposed to be.

• 1:06:55Jay Shetty?

  That feels like the only mindset that allows us to survive life as well. And as you live in this gap between expectation and reality and.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. And you might miss, like.

• 1:07:04Jay Shetty?

  Something else.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  Something else. I mean, I do always believe you're gonna get to where you're supposed to go, but you might detour a little bit. So I'm just trying to go with the flow.

• 1:07:12Jay Shetty?

  I always try to remind people, like, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:07:17Jay Shetty?

  And it's the imagination part that trips us up, because we're imagining this path, and it should look like this. But then this beautiful path that's opening up over here, you just miss it because you're too lost in your imagination.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I feel like with manifestation and this beautiful movement that's happening, where people are like, oh, wow, we're so powerful. And I can create the life I want. For me, at least, it's a fine line, because I, sometimes I live too much in the future, and I'm too specific. And it's like, well, maybe that's not the path.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  That I'm supposed to be on. So I think it's like, it's important to dream, to have goals, to have wants, you know? But I think also, like you said, I think the more present you are with your feet on the ground, you can see all the options and go ding, that's the one I'm gonna run towards. And you just have to like, can't be as distracted, I guess.

• 1:08:09Jay Shetty?

  I wanted to ask you about something. I have a lot of friends and also our audience who are in the process of freezing their eggs or want to. How hard is the process? And what do you have to go through? Because I feel like, as a man, we, I know very little. I just hear it's tough, hard, difficult. And then I have friends who are saying they want to do it, or about to do it, or have done it as well.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:30Jay Shetty?

  It's becoming more of a conversation today that everyone, I hope, is trying to have. And the reason I'm raising it is because I really hope this helps normalize it for everyone out there who's thinking about it and worried about it, and helps them have the conversation. What should people expect? Like, what does it look like?

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  I haven't spoken about this. And I did it about exactly a year ago, actually. And at the time, I was not in a relationship. I did it all by myself, like a big girl. And I, um, but I really thought about it for a couple of years. I didn't talk to many people about it, only because I didn't, I only knew a few people who had gone through their experience. And, you know, everyone has their own experience. I'd heard good, great experiences. I'd heard really bad ones. And I was like, you know what, I'm, I'm just, I'm just gonna do the thing, go to my doctor, take the shots, and just be prepared for anything. I will say, it was the most empowering thing in the world for me, especially doing it alone.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  It made me realize, like, not that I want to have kids alone, but I could if I wanted. And it's beautiful to have options. And, I mean, the whole physical part of it was like, as expected, like, you are putting your body through a lot, but just go, I was very easy on myself. I had like, plenty of time off. Uh, I knew myself, though, and I knew, because my hormones were gonna shift so much as well, I was like, I feel like I'm about to go on an emotional roller coaster. It did bring up a lot for me. But it was so beautiful. It was like, things that I feel like my soul was wanting to confront, just like, limiting beliefs I had about myself, my life, my body. And it was really liberating.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna lie. Like, I know people talk about the intensity of it. And don't get me wrong, it is, like, go in prepared, have support, have people to talk to, because it can be emotional. Um, but I felt, I was really, like, along with sobriety, that was one of the decisions I was most proud of. But yeah, it did bring up a lot for me of, I'm getting older, why am I not married? Why don't I have kids? Am I lovable? Like, all these, like, all these things that, like, weren't really me, but had been kind of lingering in the background and needed to be let go of. Because, like, all of that is just not true. It's

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  not my true nature. It's not how I actually feel about myself. So, yeah, if you're thinking about doing it, like, definitely, like, go in prepared, but it's like, the most empowering thing you can do, I feel like. So, yeah, and we'll see, we'll see what comes of it.

• 1:11:11Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I mean, it's incredible that you were able to go do it by yourself, like, when you were single.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was pretty wild. I, because you can also get the choice to go into the clinic every day, and they give you the shots. And I'm so stubborn. I was like, no, I'm gonna watch YouTube videos on how to do it myself. So, I did it all myself. I mean, I went in and checked every day and all that. But, yeah, I kind of felt like a badass. Like, I got my things. It was, it was a wild experience. But what's crazy is, a month after that, I met the person I'm with now.

• 1:11:41Jay Shetty?

  Oh, no way.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  So it was almost like it opened up something in me to allow a good person to come into my life. Um, the timing was weird. It was, maybe it was like, two weeks after. It was weird, but beautiful.

• 1:11:53Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about that. Tell me, how did you two meet?

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  I've always, like, had this dream of running into someone on the street, you know, whatever. But then I did the whole dating, online dating thing for a while, and

• 1:12:05Jay Shetty?

  Let's talk about online dating.

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  Let's do it. Okay. I was really hesitant to do it for a long time. I did not meet my boyfriend through online dating, but I went on many dates, he's gonna love hearing this, but like, I went on many dates through online dating. And I had to really come to terms with, like, it's just, you can evolve with the times, or you can not evolve with the times. I was like, okay, well, realistically, like, I travel a lot. I run in the same friend circles. I might meet someone through work, but odds are, I'll probably meet someone online. And I did. I met some great people. And I think you can meet good people. I think a lot of people want to shame the online dating world, but like, your person's gonna find you. Like, I believe in soulmates. I believe if you have a soul contract with

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  someone, like, they'll find you at the grocery store, or they'll find you online. Like, they will, the universe will find a way for you guys to meet. I met my boyfriend through, it was a blind date, actually.

• 1:13:00Jay Shetty?

  No way.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Friends set us up, which is never, um, I've never said yes to, to anything like that. I feel, I don't know, dating in general just makes me, like, so nervous. But we met, and it was, like, pretty clear early on that there was something special there. But I will say, it's the first time in my life where it's been a very slow burn. I feel like, at different times in my life, the different versions of myself, like, I was like, very extreme about dating, if they weren't in love with me. And after the first date, like, why don't you, you know, it's just so extreme. And the person I'm with is just very, he's a Virgo, he's very stable, he's very consistent, he's very grounded.

• 1:13:43Speaker 01

  He's, um, it's a good balance for, like, my intense emotions. Like, it really just balances me out. It's been wonderful. He's, he's a wonderful human. I feel very grateful to be learning with him, alongside him, everything it brings up for me, like, the challenges, the, the good times, all of it. It's just, I would say it's the first real healthy partnership I've ever been in. So talk about late bloomer. Like, I met him when I was 36. And I just think that's, not to take away from any other person I've spent time with, I think I've learned from everyone, but it feels, it feels good to be in something that allows me to feel safe, and like, I can be myself.

• 1:14:26Jay Shetty?

  What do you feel is the difference between an unhealthy relationship and a healthy relationship?

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  It's all about consistency, communication, being transparent with each other, allowing space for someone to be themself, like, not trying to change someone. I think that is really tricky territory when you're in something and you're, you want someone to behave or be a version of themselves that they're not. I, I've tended to, like, find more codependent relationships as well, where I would kind of lose my identity within the relationship,

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  and put their feelings above my own. And it's, it's so funny, being in something now, where I'm me. Like, I can still, it was like, oh, I can be Lucy, and also be in love with someone, and be in a healthy partnership. Um, because I always thought love was self-sacrificing. I thought it was like, going to the ends of the earth. And, oh, they, they don't love me? Well, maybe I should try harder, be more. If they didn't love me, I felt less than. And that's like, love addiction, in a way. And I've had, you know, many years of therapy of trying to discover where those patterns came from. It's so interesting, just like, finding, you have to go through trial and error. I think a lot of my life has been

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  trial and error, especially with, with dating. And I think that comes with its own set of kind of shame. I think maybe a lot of people can relate to being of a certain age and still seeking or searching. Um, you know, I'm in a partnership now, but like, a lot of my 30s, I felt kind of ashamed of being alone and being single. And the people being like, well, why aren't you dating someone? You're so great. And it's like, in my head, I'm thinking, but what if I'm choosing to be alone? I think a part of me did believe that. Am I great enough? But I think there was also a time in my life where I was like,

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  I think it's perfectly okay to take as much time as you need until you're ready, or to have standards. Like, it's tricky finding a good match. And like, I wasn't willing to lower my standards for a long time. I think I also had to open up and be, allow myself to experience good love, but also knowing that, like, what I was seeking is very unique. And I truly was willing to wait as long as possible. Like, I wasn't just gonna allow anyone into the, the beautiful life I've created for myself. There's a lot of people in LA, I feel like, that are of my age and are single. And no one really

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  talks about, like, the dark underbelly of that, and like, what that probably brings up for people. Just a late bloomer in a lot of ways, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

• 1:17:15Jay Shetty?

  I love that you found the, uh, the vocabulary and language for it that allows you to own it.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Jay Shetty?

  Because I think that's what we're all looking for, is a word of who we are. Because the world has asked us to define ourselves by husband, wife.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  Mother.

• 1:17:31Jay Shetty?

  Mother, daughter, sibling. And then when you don't get to play some of those roles at a certain age, you think your life's incomplete, not realizing that it was never about the role, it was about the relationship. Because you could have the role and be in the wrong relationship.

• 1:17:46Speaker 01

  Or it's what you want to feel within one of those roles. Because I often think about that. I'm like, okay, who am I if I'm not an actor? That's, it's very hard for me to be like, who am I without being an actress or a known public person? Um, I struggle with that sometimes, where I'm like, uh, what would be left of me, kind of? But when you strip all those identities, like, what actually are we? And you know, it's like,

• 1:18:11Jay Shetty?

  What would you say?

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  I would say, I'm like, source energy. Like, that's the, like, light. I think it's a frequency. I don't know if it's like, a thing or a title. I believe we all have a unique frequency. I don't believe that goes away when we're alive or when we die. I think it's constant. But I think giving ourselves these labels helps us make sense of the world. I think that's all we're ever trying to do, is make sense of why we're here. And I feel like, I love these conversations. I love being around people who are also asking those questions, like, okay, who am I? Why am I here?

• 1:18:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. I mean, you've said before that you see miracles often in your life. Is there one particularly that holds your attention?

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  I mean, honestly, I mean, it's repetitive to the sobriety stuff, but like, that to me is a miracle. Not only that I am still heart beating, you know, two feet on the ground, alive, um, but that I

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Can see why everything had to be that way. Like, I, I look at everything from the lens of whoa, whether it's a child or flowers. Like, I'm constantly amazed by animals, synchronicities in my life where I'm like, oh, that could only be orchestrated by something grander than me. I mean, I definitely believe in like, spirit guides, angels, and this might be too woo woo for certain people, but like, there's a couple of books I've read. One's called Signs and it's basically like creating a language.

• 1:19:53Jay Shetty?

  Nora Lynn Jackson?

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:19:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we've had her on the show.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, my God, you have?

• 1:19:55Jay Shetty?

  Twice, yeah. Love her.

• 1:19:57Speaker 01

  Just like creating a language with, I believe also your higher self, but your team of light. And the first time you experience that actually happening, you like gaslight yourself into thinking it's not real. You're like, okay, well, let me see it again. And then, and it happens. And it's not, it's like, it's not necessarily that there's more of that thing, that number, that red car, you know, that red car kind of experiment? It's that you're, you have now have awareness towards it. So I use signs, like I have numbers, like animal signs, where when I see that, I know that the decision is a yes, follow that. And that is, never leads me astray. If I don't see it, I don't make the decision. And it really is as simple as that.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  But I see it like unfold in real time. And sometimes I just like, play a game with the universe where I'm like, show me how good it can get. Show me something so magical today that it'll blow my mind. And I'll run into someone that I was thinking about, or I'll know something about my mom that's gonna happen. Just like, I think you can get so aligned that you are receiving information. And the trick is listening to it. Cause I think we're always being given those intuitive hits. We just don't always listen to them. So, yeah, I mean, life is a frickin' miracle. Like, what in the world? Like, I was in Mexico for my birthday on a little vacation and right now Jupiter and Venus are like perfectly aligned. That to me blows my mind. I'm like, what do you mean?

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  There's a solar system. Like, I just, I get very excited about life.

• 1:21:32Jay Shetty?

  What does it mean when they're aligned?

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  So they're in the same sign right now. So Venus and Cancer in Jupiter, or they're in Cancer right now. Jupiter's actually moving into Leo. But Cancer is like, Venus is the planet of how we show love, receive love. My Venus is actually in Cancer and Jupiter is all about abundance, luck. And I would assume when they're aligned, I need to know more about this. When they're in the same sign of Cancer, like, there's love and abundance with love and partnerships? I don't know. It just looked beautiful. My, my whole point is like, I just am amazed by people, places, things.

• 1:22:15Speaker 01

  But it's taken me a while to get there. I think I used to be a little jaded by life, maybe. But now I'm like, childlike wonder a lot of the time.

• 1:22:21Jay Shetty?

  Lucy, thank you for showing up so abundantly and full of love today as well. And as your truest self and a self that you've become so accepting of and could see how much you were processing so many emotions and feelings that either were once troubling you or were once tripping you up, or even now still create so many emotions within all of us. And so, thank you for being so authentic and real and could just, could just see it through your face. Like, it's impossible to avoid. And it's so gracious of you to be able to do that in this space. So really grateful. Thank you.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Thanks. Well, you allow the space for it. So thank you for asking great questions and letting me be myself. It's always good to show up and just talk about the things that feel authentic to me. So very grateful.

• 1:23:12Jay Shetty?

  We end every episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum.

• 1:23:17Speaker 01

  My God, this is my nightmare.

• 1:23:18Jay Shetty?

  Okay, Lucy Halle, these are your final five. Question number one, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  I would say the best piece of advice is, it's kind of paraphrasing, but the answer is always within you. And whatever that interpretation is for you, like you have all the answers you will ever need.

• 1:23:37Jay Shetty?

  I actually fully agree with that. Like, I think any good wisdom or advice is encouraging you to listen to that. And that's what it's taking you back to.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  And also, the best advice is to not listen to advice?

• 1:23:48Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:49Jay Shetty?

  Exactly. And, and that's what I'm saying, that any good advice will only

• 1:23:52Speaker 01

  Lead you back to yourself.

• 1:23:53Jay Shetty?

  Lead you back to yourself. Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  Received a lot of bad advice. I think probably something along the lines of, especially with an acting, like, give them what they need. And this could be applied to anything. Give people what they need and sort of abandon yourself. And I just obviously don't, don't agree with that. Like, never change yourself for anyone.

• 1:24:16Jay Shetty?

  Question number three, I want you to repeat after me and complete the sentence. It's about overthinking. I think I think too much about

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  I think I think about what other people are thinking about too much. And honestly, what other people think about me or something is none of my business.

• 1:24:31Jay Shetty?

  I think that's the truest thing. I think we all spend too much time thinking about what other people are thinking.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  And they're not thinking that.

• 1:24:37Jay Shetty?

  And we have no idea what they're thinking.

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  And it doesn't matter.

• 1:24:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  And it doesn't matter.

• 1:24:42Jay Shetty?

  And you don't know.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  And you don't know. And we live our life based off of narratives we've made up in our head about someone that may or may not be true. Wild.

• 1:24:50Jay Shetty?

  Wild.

• 1:24:52Jay Shetty?

  Question number four, define a good friend.

• 1:24:55Speaker 01

  Someone who is not a yes person. Someone who is going to tell you the truth, even if it risks the friendship. I have so many people in my life who have seen me through so many phases of who I am. And a very select few who have said, this is not okay. You need help. I love you. I'm here. And a friend who will set boundaries. Like, I respect a friend who's set boundaries. And also, like, I like friendships where there's no expectation. You can just be yourself. You might not see each other for six months. You don't have to respond to every text message, like, easygoing.

• 1:25:31Jay Shetty?

  Fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  Okay, I've thought about this so much.

• 1:25:40Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Okay, my brain's just falling. I'm so excited. I have a few. I have a few.

• 1:25:44Jay Shetty?

  Please, go for all of them.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  I just, I think

• 1:25:46Jay Shetty?

  You can give us a few.

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  My main one, because I was really reflecting, is that for an hour a day, each person has to, without distraction, love themselves. Like, focus on what they love about themselves. And like, really just nurture who you are. I chose that because, can you imagine if we all operated from like that frequency of loving ourself? Wouldn't be that many problems. I mean, maybe, maybe it would cause more problems. I don't know. But, but I think just none of us spend enough time like honoring who we are. Okay, another one I have is before bed each night, everyone has to hold themselves accountable for the things they've done good

• 1:26:32Speaker 01

  and things they want to do differently, but not in a shaming way. And, and more just like, clean up your side of the street. And then the third one is, whenever you're in an argument with someone, you have to swap shoes with them and see it from their perspective.

• 1:26:48Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:26:49Speaker 01

  And I'm like, shit, because you know it would be so different.

• 1:26:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  You know, I could be better about that for sure of like, oh, wait, I need to pause a bit.

• 1:26:59Jay Shetty?

  Lucy Halle, thank you so much. I'm so grateful for you.

• 1:27:01Speaker 01

  This was great.

• 1:27:02Jay Shetty?

  This is so much fun. Thank you.

• 1:27:03Speaker 01

  Congrats on your, your big deal.

• 1:27:05Jay Shetty?

  Oh, thank you.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  You deserve it. Jay Shetty is the best, y'all.

• 1:27:11Speaker 02

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• 1:27:57Speaker 04

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• 1:28:04Speaker 04

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• 1:28:05Speaker 03

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.

• 1:28:13Speaker 05

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